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hoeforhops · 4 years ago

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Us Fragile Things ― September, part two.

in which Valerie Martin and Billy Hargrove find each other for the first time in four years in a dive bar and realize the difference those four years can make.

an explicit Billy Hargrove x OFC fic. rating: explicit, 18+ word count: 9.9k cross posted to AO3. warnings: alcohol/tobacco use, strong language, dirty talk, unprotected sex, oral sex (female rec), fingering, vaginal sex.

SEPTEMBER 12th, 1989

The note Billy had left spent nearly two weeks in the drawer of Valerie’s nightstand, other than the few times she’d pulled it out to stare at it in the effort of working up the nerve to actually call him. She had his number memorized by the second time she pulled it out, and the brevity of the note itself was burned into her mind.

It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427. It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427. It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427. It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427. It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427. It was good to see you. Call me. 923-0427.

She found herself repeating the note at random, hearing it in his voice like it was damn near haunting her.

Valerie told herself she was trying to focus on getting back into the routine of classes. On top of her usual coursework, she’d started her classroom observations, sitting in on classes at the local high school twice a week. She’d also taken up working a few shifts a week at the reception desk in the education department, trying to stash away whatever money she could. There was little time in her schedule for boys, she had decided.

That had never been her rule before, but Billy Hargrove had never been part of the equation. But that didn’t stop her from thinking about him.

He kept creeping into her thoughts, far more than usual. And not just her thoughts, but her fantasies. Valerie had realized a couple of days after seeing him that it had become impossible to get herself off without recalling the memory of his fingers pumping into her, the way he’d praised her, and the weight of his body hovering over hers. He had made sure she couldn’t forget about him for the first several days, considering he’d left a slew of hickeys and marks along her chest.

It was a Tuesday evening and she’d just finished doing 60 pages worth of reading for one course, feeling like her brain was about to melt out of her ears. Charlotte was out with Amy, and when Valerie’s eyes landed on the phone across the room, Billy’s number started repeating itself in her mind.

923-0427. 923-0427. 923-0427. 923-0427. 923-0427.

Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she got to her feet and approached the phone. She picked it up and dialed his number quickly, proud of herself for even doing that much. With a white knuckle grip, she lifted the phone to her ear as it rang.

And it rang, and rang, and rang.

She hung up after letting it ring plenty of times, realizing he must not have an answering machine.

At least she’d tried.

SEPTEMBER 13th, 1989

Valerie had hoped that calling him once, even if she didn’t get an answer, would get it all out of her system, but it seemed to only make it worse.

Charlotte had been bugging her to call him since the minute she’d heard they slept together, adn Valerie had made the mistake of letting it slip that she finally had, which only lead to Charlotte telling her to try it again.

So she did.

It only rang a few times before Valerie heard a soft click, her heart jumping in that beat of silence.

“Hello?” A female voice. Max?

“Hi, uh, is Billy around?” she asked, clearing her throat and trying her best to relax.

“No, he’s at work.”

“Oh, okay.” A pause. “I’ll just call back.” Would she though?

“Is this Valerie?” she asked, and Valerie froze.

“Yeah,” Valerie responded with a slight laugh, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Max, right?”

“Mhm. Billy said he ran into you,” Max told her. “I’ll probably take you up on the offer for some help with English comp.”

Valerie smiled to herself, glad that he’d mentioned that to Max. “Yeah, I’d be happy to help, just let me know.”

“Do you want me to let Billy know you called?”

“No, uh, don’t worry about it. I’ll just call back and try to catch him.”

“I think he’s off tomorrow night, maybe try then,” Max suggested, and Valerie nodded even though the girl on the phone couldn’t see her.

They said their goodbyes and she all but slammed the phone down, looking up to realize Charlotte was watching her with a wide grin.

“No luck this time either?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

Valerie rolled her eyes, moving across the living room to drop onto the sofa. “I’m glad you think this is funny, at least,” she said, giving her roommate a pointed look.

Charlotte shrugged. “I guess I’m just not used to seeing you act like this over a boy,” she teased, still grinning either way.

Groaning, she sank further into the sofa and looked up at the ceiling. “I know, I’m not either, and I don’t like it,” she grumbled, pulling one of the throw pillows into her lap. “I feel like I’m back in high school, vying for the attention of ‘King Billy.’” She made a face as she spoke, scrunching up her nose.

“Yeah, but you’re not. You’re a cool, hot grown up who can buy your own alcohol,” Charlotte assured her, joining her on the sofa. “And from what you told me, he doesn’t sound like he’s the same person he was in high school either, so if you like him, or at least like his dick, it’s probably worth trying to call again.”

Valerie nodded, sucking on her teeth as she picked a piece of fuzz off the pillow in her lap. Charlotte was usually right about these kinds of things, something Valerie had learned in the last several years of living together.

SEPTEMBER 15th, 1989

Valerie didn’t call the next day, Thursday, like Max had suggested. She certainly hadn’t forgotten, but buried herself under a mountain of homework and reading to distract herself. His number had repeated itself in her mind for most of the evening, leaving her to steal glances at the phone from her spot at the table where her books and papers were spread out in front of her.

It was Friday though. Two weeks since the night at the bar whose name Valerie had never figured out. Charlotte was at Amy’s for the night, leaving Valerie to entertain herself. The thought of going back to that bar had crossed her mind, but she told herself she was content to get a chunk her weekend assignments out of the way.

By the time it was dark, she’d given up on reading for the night. With a glass of wine in her hand and the TV on, her eyes had started to drift toward the phone.

He probably wasn’t even home. It was a Friday night, after all. He was probably out drinking like he had been two weeks ago. Those thoughts were what actually made it easier for her to get off the couch and cross the room to the phone. Even if he wasn’t home, she could tell Charlotte that she had tried. She dialed quickly before she could stop herself.

923-0427.

The phone rang three times before the soft click of the line being picked up made Valerie jump, having felt so sure that no one would answer.

“Hello?” There was no mistaking that voice.

“H-hey. It’s Valerie,” she said, already chewing on the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t believe all it took was a single word from him to make her palms sweat and her heart race.

“Well, Val, it’s about damn time,” he told her, scoffing softly.

“Yeah, sorry, I’ve been busy trying to get into the routine of classes and stuff,” she told him, hoping to laugh it off.

“Uh huh,” he hummed, tone laced with disbelief. Valerie blinked, pausing for a moment. “You know, until Max told me you called the other day, I thought you’d forgotten all about me.” She could practically hear him smirking, knowing from the sound of his voice that he was already toying with her. Valerie suddenly wished she’d had more wine before calling him.

“Maybe I had,” she said, trying her best to sound cool.

Billy actually laughed. “I’m surprised you’re calling on a Friday night. Figured you’d be out prowling for another idiot you went to high school with to take home and rock their world before forgetting about them.”

Snorting softly, Valerie twirled the cord of the phone around her index finger. “It’s early, I’ve still got time,” she said, grinning to herself.

“C’mon now, don’t break my heart like that,” he told her with that charming inflection of his that made her willing to do cartwheels.

She paused, pressing her lips together. “Did I really ‘rock your world’? The sex was that good?” she questioned, curiosity getting the better of her. It had only been a few minutes of conversation, and he already had her wondering if it was all a game. God, she hated feeling like a giddy teenager, but at least he wasn’t there to watch her squirm over it.

“What, you didn’t think it was?” Billy responded, sounding mildly surprised by her question.

Valerie exhaled a breath of laughter, picking up the phone and bringing it with her to sit in the nearby arm chair. “I never said that. King Billy’s the one with the long list of five star reviews, just wasn’t sure where I’d rank amongst them,” she said, kicking her feet up on the coffee table to settle in more.

“Baby girl, you’ve got no fuckin’ clue how crazy you made me,” he said, tone low and dark to the point that Valerie held her breath.

She was silent for a moment, his words echoing in her mind before she cleared her throat. “What about you, huh? Why are you home on a Friday night to answer the phone?” she asked, toying with the phone cord again.

“I worked early this morning. I planned on having a quiet night at home until you called.” He sighed softly, teasingly like she’d ruined his whole evening.

“And I changed that?” Valerie was grinning to herself by then.

“Maybe.” His voice was warm and she could picture his smile, that genuine one that felt like a reward to see. “When can I see you again?”

The question surprised her for some reason and she blinked. “You busy tomorrow?” she asked, practically holding her breath as she waited for him to answer.

“Yeah, I’ve got an late shift tomorrow. I’m free Sunday night though.”

“Uhh, yeah, Sunday’s good for me,” she responded, clearing her throat as a fresh wave of nervousness swept over her.

“You wanna come to my place? Max will be out, we can watch a movie or something.” For a short second, he sounded unsure of the proposed plan. The thought of being alone with him made her mind flash back to the desperate sound of their breathing, the intoxicating feeling of his body pressing against hers, and her palms were sweating again.

“That sounds good,” Valerie said, licking her lips as she sunk into her chair a little more. “What time?”

“My shift goes until 5:30, so 7:00 maybe? I’ll make dinner for us.” Now that surprised her, making her eyebrows raise.

“I never really pictured Billy Hargrove as the culinary type,” she admitted, toying with the ends of her hair idly as she grinned.

“You can add that to the list of what’s ‘different’ about me now, I guess,” he said, and Valerie could hear his lighter click a second later.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Valerie licked her lips, picturing him in his apartment. She wondered what his place looked like, where he was right now, what he was doing. It all seemed like such a mystery. “Can I ask you something?”

“You just did.” Valerie rolled her eyes, letting out a quiet huff of breath that he must’ve heard. “Shoot.” The word was laced with a smirk again, she could just tell. She could hear him inhale, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“Did you mean what you said when I was going down on you, about how you used to watch me in chem?” Her mind had drifted back to that statement of his so many times over the last couple of weeks.

Billy was silent for a moment before exhaling a soft laugh. “Yeah,” he told her, and she wished she could see him for that reaction. “That damn oral fixation of yours was so fucking distracting.”

Valerie’s eyebrows knit together, about to argue that she didn’t have an oral fixation until she realized that she had started chewing on her thumbnail after asking her last question. “Didn’t stop you from passing the class though,” she said, again trying to put on that cool tone that matched his despite the fact that her cheeks were flushing.

“That’s true, but let me tell you, I took some community college courses when I was living in California, including chemistry, and just hearing the word ‘stoichiometry’ was enough to get me hard. Fucking Pavlovian, or some shit,” he said, and Valerie grinned even as she felt the flush make it’s way down her neck.

“You should’ve said something, y’know,” she said after a pause, despite knowing full and well that she never would’ve believed him back then if he’d expressed interest in her. She likely would have laughed in his face in all honesty, the thought of it too absurd to even entertain.

“I would’ve ruined your fuckin’ life, V.” Billy chuckled, and she laughed with him because she knew he was absolutely right. She imagined him grinning, the one he used right as he trapped his prey, knowing when he had her caught. “Be grateful that you’re getting this version of me.”

“Who says I’m not?” she countered, leaning forward in her seat. Valerie was glad she’d thought ahead enough to bring the whole bottle of wine into the living room with her earlier, pouring another glass. A pause followed, and because the silence made her nervous, her mind circled back to another thought curiously. “Why’d you stop?”

“Stop what?”

“Stop taking classes.”

“Oh,” he said softly, like he hadn’t expected such a question out of her. “D’you really wanna know?”

“I don’t ask questions I don’t want to know the answers to,” she told him, bringing the glass up to her mouth to take a drink.

Billy sighed softly. Hesitation seemed to hang between them, and Valerie honestly wasn’t sure what he’d say next. “It’s a long story, angel, I’ll tell you sometime, okay? Promise.” He sounded sincere in the avoidance, and Valerie bit her lip as she pocketed her curiosity.

“Okay,” she responded, nodding once to herself before swallowing the last bit of her wine. He was quiet for a beat and again, she was picturing him, wondering what his expression said.

“You wanna know something?” he asked, in that tone that left her hanging on his every word as he changed the subject.

“Shoot,” she responded, just as he head earlier.

“I regret not going down on you when I had the chance.” Billy said it all so casually, fitting it into the conversation with ease and Valerie couldn’t help the burst of laughter at the bluntness of his statement. Her cheeks felt hot and she told herself that it was from the wine.

“Is that at the top of your to do list for Sunday?” she asked, holding the phone with her shoulder as she leaned forward to put her empty glass on the coffee table.

“Oh, absolutely,” he hummed in response, making her suck in a breath through her teeth. “Might not even be able to wait until after dinner. I’ve barely been able to keep my mind off it. I didn’t pay nearly enough attention to your tits either.”

The thought made her feel warm all over, her blush returning with vengeance as she licked her lips. “Have you been thinking about me a lot?” she asked, settling back in her seat again as she put her feet up on the edge of the coffee table.

“Way too much, honestly. I haven’t been able to get those sweet sounds of yours out of my head, it’s been driving me fucking insane,” he admitted with a slight groan to the words as Valerie grinned to herself. “I didn’t expect you to be so bratty.”

“Want me to turn it down a notch next time?” Her voice carried a teasing tone to it, and she realized that she was pressing her thighs together as she anticipated his response.

The chuckle Billy let out rattled through her, renewing the heat that had flooded through her earlier. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Val,” he said with a hint of that deep chuckle and Valerie could’ve actually screamed. “You been thinking about me, huh? Slipping your hand into your panties late at night, playing with yourself while you think about how good I made you feel?”

“Christ, Billy,” Valerie muttered as if it wasn’t truth, feigning innocence. His scoff said he saw right through it. “Maybe I have been, so what?” There was no point in denying it, she decided.

A silence hung between them for a moment.

“Do we really need to wait until Sunday? I can be at your place in 10 minutes,” Billy said.

Now that was tempting. Valerie thought about it, biting her lip. It would be so easy to let him come over and rock her world again, to let him leave her absolutely desperate for more of him, but her nerves got the better of her. She let out a sigh and shook her head.

“Not tonight,” she told him, as if she wasn’t already ridiculously turned on.

“I had to at least try,” he said, tsking softly. “I’ve waited two weeks, I can wait another two days.” Valerie grinned, unable to stop herself considering he was just as fucking charming as he’d always been.

“It was a good effort,” she assured him, and they laughed together. She already regretted turning down the offer.

They chatted for a while longer, until Max got home and Billy said he needed to go. She got directions to his place before they said their goodbyes, and after hanging up the receiver, Valerie pushed a hand through her hair. Leaning back in her seat again, she scoffed to herself in disbelief that that conversation had happened. She was still flushed and slick between her thighs as she started to chew on her thumbnail.

Billy Hargrove still might ruin her life.

SEPTEMBER 17th, 1989

Valerie somehow made it to Sunday evening, though it hadn’t been easy. She’d spent a good chunk of her Saturday at the library on campus, but hadn’t been at all productive considering the fact that Billy was plaguing her thoughts. She could barely focus, her shoulders tense with anticipation as the minutes passed slowly.

She slept in on Sunday and finished up her readings before getting ready to go to Billy’s. The shower she took was long and relaxing, and she used the fancy body wash her aunt had sent for her birthday several months ago. Waiting for her hair to dry, Valerie put on some make up, then pulled on pretty underwear under the knee length skirt and v-neck sweater that she’d laid out.

It was a little after 7:00 when Valerie parked on the street outside what she hoped was Billy’s place. The street number matched at least, and she headed up the walkway toward the grey duplex with a bottle of wine in hand. Nervousness twisted in her stomach as she stepped onto the porch and knocked on the door to the left like he’d told her.

She didn’t have to wait long for him to open the door with that signature grin that made her knees weak. He invited her in, his eyes dropping quickly to glance her over before motioning for her to follow him.

Valerie hadn’t been sure to expect out of Billy’s place, and she looked around curiously as she followed him to the kitchen. She caught a glimpse of floral wall paper in the living room and smiled, before her attention focused more on him.

“Dinner should be ready in a few,” he told her, taking the bottle of wine from her. He was in a tight shirt and tighter jeans, nothing out of the usual, really, but it still astounded her that he always managed to look that good.

“What are we having?” she asked, leaning back against the edge of the counter as he sifted through a drawer before pulling out a corkscrew.

“Chicken with zucchini and risotto,” he said as Valerie enjoyed the way his shoulders moved when he opened the bottle of wine. She was impressed, both with the menu and how easily he pulled the cork out. “I don’t have wine glasses yet, so we’re stuck with regular cups.”

“That’s fine,” she assured him with a soft laugh, watching as he pulled a pair of cups from the cabinet. She thanked him softly when he handed her one of them a second later, her eyes meeting his as he poured wine for her.

“It’s good to see you,” Billy said, taking a sip from his own glass. His eyes were on her and Valerie could feel her cheeks flush as a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

“It’s good to see you too,” she responded, batting her lashes before tilting her glass back for a drink.

It was odd to see this sincere part of Billy, both in tone and action, and pair it with the way he was looking at her, even having the audacity to lick his lips. Her free hand came back to grip the edge of the counter as silence hung around them. A timer went off, the abrupt sound cutting through the building tension, and Valerie was almost grateful for it, considering it curbed her urge to absolutely pounce on him.

Dinner was great, leaving her absolutely stunned by how good the food was. They chatted as they ate, easily finishing off the bottle of wine between the two of them. Talking to him was easy, Valerie realized, and they stayed seated at the small table with empty plates in front of them for a while before they rose to clean up.

Valerie was a little tipsy as she dried the dishes as he washed, and he kept glancing at her. She nudged him with her elbow eventually, passing it off as an accident as she reached to put the last of the plates in the cabinet. The dish towel she’d been using had barely left her hand before he had one hand on her waist, the other on her jaw to guide her mouth to his.

The kiss surprised her, leaving her to gasp softly into his mouth before relaxing against him. She was on fire immediately, kissing him back as he pressed her back into the edge of the counter. Billy was taking his time and his hand dropped to her hip as he hummed.

She looped an arm around his neck and let her teeth tug at his bottom lip, practically daring him to take things further. The way he’d watched her through dinner as he listened to her speak had been enough to turn her on somehow, and she was ready for her patience to be rewarded. His tongue flicked against hers teasingly, making her arch toward him just as his mouth left hers.

“D’you still wanna watch a movie?” he asked, a little breathless as his forehead rested on hers.

“Are you serious?” Valerie responded, laughing when she saw his smirk.

“Just wasn’t sure how attached you were to the idea.” Billy’s words were punctuated with a brief kiss, his hand moving to squeeze her ass. She moaned into his mouth and gripped the fabric of his shirt in her hand as she tried to press herself closer against him.

“I’m far more attached to the idea of you eating me out,” she admitted, the frankness of her words making his eyebrows raise slightly. She wasn’t sure if she’d surprised or impressed him, but she liked the reaction either way. His smirk returned almost immediately, nodding once before kissing her again.

The kiss was hungry, and it felt like his hands were everywhere, squeezing her hips and her ass as she pressed toward him. She used the hand twisted in the fabric of his shirt as a way to keep him close as he sucked at her bottom lip.

“Where’s your room?” she asked, her mouth barely leaving his. He hummed in response, both of his hands cupping her face briefly before finally pulling back. Valerie had expected him to step away from her and pull her through the apartment, but instead, he sank to his knees in front of her. “Jesus, Billy!” Her words were laced with laughter as his hands slid up the outside of her thighs, then higher still until they were under her skirt.

“What?” he questioned with a filthy smirk and a raised eyebrow as he nudged her thighs open further. “Just be grateful I made it through dinner without slipping under the table to do this.” His eyes were still on her face as he dragged his thumb over her folds through the damp fabric of her panties, watching the way her body reacted to the contact.

That was all it took to have Valerie tugging the material of her skirt higher until it was bunched up around her hips, and his eyes dropped to her newly exposed skin and panties. She heard him groan softly and then he was leaning forward more, his mouth already settling on the inside of her thigh.

“I like these,” Billy murmured, his voice rough as he glanced up at her again. His thumb repeated it’s previous action, pressing just right against her clit to make her squirm as she leaned back into the edge of the cabinet. He was close enough that she could feel the heat of his breath on her thighs, and Valerie’s hands were already shaking.

Impatiently, he pressed an open mouthed kiss to her folds through her panties with a soft moan. His palms slid over the swell of her ass, then higher to start tugging her underwear down easily. As soon she was exposed to him, his mouth was on her, letting his tongue slide through her folds to collect the wetness that was already pooling there.

“Oh my god,” she breathed out, her thighs parting further for him instinctively after kicking her panties away. Her hand came down to the back of his head and her fingers threaded through his curls as his tongue teased at her entrance.

“So fuckin’ good,” he groaned, squeezing her ass and pulling her hips even closer to him. Billy licked a firm stripe from her entrance to her clit before sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth. She was practically panting by the time he pulled off with a soft pop , then he was exploring her folds with his tongue again, eyes lifting to look at her face.

He really could get used to this view, loving the flush that colored Valerie’s cheeks and the way her hair fell over her shoulder as her head tilted back. She tasted better than he ever could’ve imagined in the times that he’d gotten himself off in the last few weeks, thinking about having her just like this. His hand slid down her thigh slowly, guiding her to settle her leg on his shoulder as her hand tightened in his hair.

Valerie wouldn’t have been able to hold back the wanton moan that left her if she’d even bothered to try, breathing out a curse as he lapped at her folds hungrily. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she rocked toward him lazily, seeking out whatever extra friction she could find. She was so slick, a mix of her own wetness and his saliva, and if it didn’t all feel so good, she might be embarrassed by the constant slew of whines and moans that were leaving her. The sounds of his mouth working against her, sucking at her folds, were absolutely filthy, and when she felt his two fingers tease at her entrance, Valerie nodded with a soft plea, eager for whatever he would give her.

“Yeah?” he hummed into her, letting them sink into her just barely. “You want my fingers in your pussy while I suck your clit?” He barely pulled away to speak, his lips brushing over her before he licked around his fingers teasingly.

“Billy, please,” she breathed, finally tilting her head to glance down at him.

“You gotta say it, sweetheart,” he mused, glancing up at her with a quick smirk before he was opening his mouth against her. As always, heat rose up her neck in response to his dirty talk and she let out an impatient sound when he didn’t immediately give her what she wanted.

“I want you fingers inside me, please, I need more,” she managed to plead, her hips already pressing toward his hand desperately. Valerie’s fingers tightened in his hair enough that he hissed softly, and she saw darkness flash in his eyes when he looked up at her. He must’ve decided that was good enough considering his digits sank deep into her. Her head fell back as she cursed, her body already clenching around him.

Billy fingers fucked into her expertly, just as they had last time, curling against the spot inside her that made her gasp. He was watching her, looking up her body as he sucked her clit into his mouth, enjoying the way she rocked toward him. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted as she moaned for him again, and he scissored his fingers inside her to see what other sounds he could get from her. The motion didn’t disappoint, and when he slid his other hand up the outside of her thigh lightly, he could feel that her legs were shaking.

She was slick around him, that fact highlighted by the sound of his fingers pumping into her, her face flushing darker as her head fell back. Valerie couldn’t help but tug at his hair, still wanting him closer, and when he chuckled in response, the sound vibrated through her. She felt hot all over, her sweater clinging to her as her other hand gripped the edge of the countertop for support. Practically chanting his name, her hips rolled against his hand, already feeling the pressure building low in her stomach.

Just when she was towing that line of falling into her orgasm, Billy pulled back, and a frustrated sound left her at the loss of his mouth. When she looked down at him, he was smirking, his thumb already moving to rub firm circles against her clit. His mouth was slick with her wetness, the sight alone making her whine as his fingers continued to fuck into her.

“You gonna cum for me, angel?” he murmured, turning his head to press a kiss to the inside of her thigh.

“Yeah,” she sighed out, nodding as she continued to rock into his hand. “Wanna cum for you, Billy.” Her voice was weak as she teetered on the edge and he hummed in approval, his mouth settling on her folds again.

Valerie’s nails sank into his scalp as she cried out, her head falling back when the pressure inside her exploded. She rocked desperately against Billy’s hand and his mouth, a slew of curses leaving her as she rested the majority of her weight on the cabinet behind her. Pleasure coursed through her as her body tensed, whining his name as he worked her through it. He watched her the whole time, loving the way her features twisted as she came for him.

When she finally came down, her shoulders sagged and she felt like she could barely keep her head up as her fingers carded through his hair. Still breathing heavily, she managed to open her eyes and glance down at him, her cheeks flushed. If his mouth wasn’t still on her, lapping lazily at her sensitive folds, he would’ve been smirking at her, and another shudder ran through her.

“Mmph, too much,” Valerie whined, feeling over-sensitive after another moment of enjoying the slow motion of his fingers still working into her. He pulled back when she pushed at his head gently, already licking his lips as he pulled his fingers from her.

Billy guided her leg off his shoulder, keeping his hand behind her knee for a moment to make sure she was steady. She watched as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, then sucked his fingers clean before getting to his feet again. As soon as he was at her level, her arm looped around his neck to pull him toward her.

Kissing him hungrily, Valerie hummed into his mouth, enjoying the taste of herself on his warm, plush lips. The hem of her skirt dropped to cover her, but her hips were already pressing toward his. She could feel the hard line of his cock straining against the fly of his jeans and she licked into his mouth, enjoying the sound he let out.

“Want me to take you to bed?” he asked, mouth barely leaving hers as his hands slipped under her sweater impatiently. Valerie’s mind was still buzzing as she nodded, glad to feel his hands moving over her skin finally. “D’you think you can walk?” The teasing tone to his voice was obvious as he pulled away, and Valerie rolled her eyes with a grin.

“I’m surprised you don’t want to fuck me right here,” she teased, already tilting her mouth up to kiss him again.

“Trust me, I do,” he responded with a chuckle, his hands sliding down to squeeze her ass through the fabric of her skirt. “Max and I agreed not to have sex in the common areas.”

“Oh, but going down on me here was fine?” she countered, letting out a contented sound as Billy’s mouth moved over her jaw.

“Shh,” he hummed, holding his index finger up to his mouth to earn a laugh out of her as he pulled away. His hand slipped into hers and he nodded toward the hall.

Valerie glanced around curiously as they moved through his place, noticing the stack of textbooks on the coffee table, and the framed photo on an end table of Max with people she thought she recognized from Hawkins. The walk was short thankfully, and when Billy let go of her hand to turn on the lamp next to his bed, she took the chance to look around.

She’d always expected his room to be dark, maybe a little cluttered, with posters of half naked women on the walls, heavy curtains, and an unmade bed. Instead, the room was a pale yellow that glowed warm from the low light of the lamp. There wasn’t much furniture, just a dresser next to the open closet door, the end table that housed the lamp, and his bed, that was in fact made. It was tidier than her own room, Valerie realized as her eyes drifted back to Billy.

He had already sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back with his weight on his hands as he watched her. His legs were spread, and he lifted a hand, motioning for her to come toward him. Valerie grinned as she moved closer to him, acutely aware of how wet she still was as she realized her underwear were still on the kitchen floor. His eyes were glued to her, even as he pulled his shirt off and tossed it in the direction of the hamper across the room.

Valerie did the same, tugging her sweater off as she stood between his parted thighs. His head was tilted back to look up at her, and her hand moved to push his hair back gently, feeling him lean into the touch. She pushed at his shoulder and Billy took the hint, leaning back onto the mattress as she reached around her back to unfasten her bra.

He cursed under his breath, hands already moving to unbutton his jeans so he could push them down his hips as Valerie kicked her skirt away as well. Billy sat up enough to reach for her, all but pulling her down to him as she straddled his hips. She leaned over him with a hand on either side of his head, biting her lip as she rocked herself along the obvious bulge of his cock, his black underwear the only fabric between them. His hand slid up her bare back with a pleased sound, leaning up to kiss her hungrily.

A frantic energy seemed to fall over them then, with Valerie moaning into his mouth when his hand came up to cup her breast. His thumb dragged over the hardened peak of her nipple to make her whine, her back arching into his touch. He moved his other hand from her hip to between her thighs, letting his fingers slide through her folds like he couldn’t help himself. The touch made Valerie keen softly, and just as quickly as he’d touched her, he was lifting his hips to slip his underwear down and free his cock.

He was still leaning up to her slightly when his mouth moved to her throat, settling on her pulse point as she felt his dick throb against her thigh. Valerie felt like she was burning, unable to get enough air in her lungs as she rocked toward him with a heady sound. He was still teasing at her nipple, twisting and tugging at it lightly between his thumb and forefinger to make a visible shiver run through her.

“C’mon, V,” he murmured as she forced herself to sit up more, her hands pressing against his chest. “Ride my cock, angel, wanna feel you around me again.” And how on earth was she supposed to say no to a request like that?

She shifted over him again slightly, one hand slipping between them to guide him to her entrance, and she noticed the way his eyes dropped as well to watch as she sank down onto his length. They groaned in unison as Billy’s head dropped back onto the mattress, his hands settling on her hips where he couldn’t resist squeezing her supple flesh. Valerie was trembling slightly by the time he was fully sheathed inside her, her hips flush against his as she took a few deep breaths. His hands didn’t stay where they were for long, with one of them sliding back up to her breast when she slowly let her hips grind down toward his.

The sight of Billy Hargove sprawled out beneath her like that was something she knew she wouldn’t forget any time soon. His curles were already a mess from how rough she’d been with it when he was on his knees earlier, and his pupils were blown as he stared up at her. Valerie could practically see the restraint buzzing through him as her hips rose from his slightly before rocking down again. The motion earned a moan out of him, and the hand that had been on her hip moved to squeeze her ass.

Still sensitive from her earlier orgasm, each movement of her hips had Valerie sucking in short breaths and gasps as she settled into an easy rhythm of riding him. He felt bigger at his angle, and her nails scratched along his chest lightly as her jaw clenched.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Billy breathed appreciatively, his eyes dropping again to watch his dick sink into her. He was toying with her nipple still, palming at her breast with sounds of appreciation as he rocked up just slightly to meet the rock of her hips. “You look so fucking sexy like this, Val, holy shit.”

Panting, Valerie grinned and tried to focus more on keeping a steady rhythm versus speaking, unsure if she could ever string a sentence together by then. Eager to hear more praise from him, she started rocking down harder against his lap, enough that he groaned loudly for her. The slide was easy, given how soaked she was, and with each motion, his cock slid over her g-spot in a way that had her whimpering.

In need of more contact, Valerie leaned over him again, and Billy’s hand was quick to move from her breast to her jaw so he could guide her mouth to his. He licked into her mouth hungrily, still holding her jaw to keep her where he wanted her. The inside of her thighs were burning already, and her pussy tightened around him as she continued to ride him. She could feel Billy rolling his hips up into hers, and the way her clit pressed against his pelvis had her whimpering.

He swore loudly, and Valerie felt his arm wrap around around her waist tightly before he turned her onto her back. She was grateful for the change of position honestly, knowing that her rhythm had already grown sloppy as she got closer. His cock slipped out of her, and she made an annoyed whine. Billy chuckled softly with his knees planted between her thighs as he leaned over her. He was supporting himself with one hand on the mattress, the other between their bodies to just barely guide the head of his cock into her.

When he didn’t sink into her again, instead pulling back to slide through her folds, Valerie sucked in a breath through her teeth. Billy met her eye and he was smirking, loving the way her hips rocked in an attempt to guide him back inside her.

“You want it so bad, don’t you, sweetheart?” he mused, making her huff out a heavy breath.

The way she said his name was somewhere between a threat and a plea, her arm looping around his neck to pull him down to her. He was smirking when his mouth found his and didn’t bother teasing her further considering he was just as desperate for her as she seemed to be for him.

Billy pushed into her in one easy motion, dragging a high sound from her. His hand found the crook of her knee, guiding her leg over his hip as his hips snapped forward into hers. The firm thrust took her by surprise, making her groan as he built a rough pace.

Valerie’s hand slid along his back, her nails scratching over his skin as she tried to arch up toward him more. They were both breathing heavily and moaning as their mouths brushed together, lacking much finesse as they chased their highs. Billy’s mouth moved down her throat, nipping and sucking as he went, and the feeling of his teeth in her pulse point had Valerie moaning desperately beneath him.

“More, Billy,” she breathed, her nails sinking into his shoulder as his tongue traced her collarbone. He hummed in acknowledgement, his hips pounding into hers at just enough of a different angle that it made her body jolt up towards him. The head of his cock was hitting her g-spot with each thrust, making short gasps leave her as her eyes squeezed shut.

He was murmuring to her, filthy things that she could barely hear over the sounds of her breathing and her heartbeat racing in her ears. It spurred her on either way, digging her heel into his ass for leverage to try and get him deeper still. She could feel herself tightening around him as pressure built up inside her again, leaving her practically clinging to him.

“Think you can cum for me again, V?” he said, his tone gravelly and suggesting he already knew the answer. As she nodded frantically, trying to push her hips toward him for whatever friction she could find, he sucked her nipple into his mouth with a groan.

His hand had slipped between their bodies to find her clit with ease, rubbing firm circles against the swollen bundle of nerves as his thrusts got a little sloppy. She was absolutely drenched, and hot against his hand, and he cursed, leaning up to kiss her hungrily.

Valerie welcomed the kiss, though it was all teeth and moans as her arm tightened around his neck more to keep him there. With the way he was pounding into her, still toying with her clit, it was easy for her to fall over the edge, and she did so with a loud groan of his name.

Her head fell back against the mattress as her hips rocked without much direction, just needing whatever she could get from him as her orgasm tore through her. Billy’s mouth had settled on her throat again, his breath hot on her already flush skin as she came around his dick, She didn’t doubt that he’d have raised scratches along his back and shoulder from her nails, but she couldn’t bring herself to care about that right now.

Over the roaring of her ears, Valerie heard him curse loudly, and she made a sound of protest when he pulled out of her. Billy fucked into the space between their bodies, spilling hot onto her stomach with a deep grunt. Starting to come down from her high, Valerie’s eyes opened to see his brows knit together, face creased with pleasure as his head fell forward slightly let his nose nudge against hers.

They were both panting, and Valerie felt like she could absolutely sink into the mattress. When Billy started to untangle himself from her, she made a pouty sound that made him grin as he dropped onto the bed next to her. Settling on his side, he was still breathing heavily, pressing his face against her shoulder. Valerie draped an arm over her forehead when she remembered how to move again and she could feel that her body was slick with sweat, as was Billy’s next to her.

Her body was still buzzing when his hand slid along her jaw to turn her face towards him. She opened her eyes to see him already looking at her, his blue gaze soft and adding to the fact that the blood in her veins felt like lava. His thumb brushed over her lips, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as they stayed like that for awhile.

Billy was the first to move, exhaling a sigh as he pulled back and pushed himself into a sitting position. She noticed the way his eyes swept over her naked frame, lingering on the cum that he’d coated her stomach with, and she licked her lips as she rose her arms above her head to stretch out on the mattress.

“Stay put, okay?” he said, letting his knuckles brush over her knee lightly as he got to his feet. “Gonna grab a towel to clean you up.” Valerie nodded, not sure she would’ve been able to move much if she’d wanted to.

She watched him walk naked to his closet, turning her head to keep her eyes on him as he returned with a towel. It was dark outside already, the room still filled with the warm glow of the lamp on his end table.

“What time is it?” she asked, her eyes on his face as he wiped up the mess he’d left on her stomach.

“A little after 9,” he responded after glancing at his alarm clock. He tossed the towel aside and leaned over her again to press a short kiss to her mouth, which took her by surprise.

Valerie didn’t doubt that her cheeks were still flushed, and her head still felt a little hazy by the time he pulled back. She finally sat up, smoothing her hair down as she glanced at the pile of her clothes on the floor, deciding that getting dressed was too much effort for the time being.

Billy had pulled on a pair of briefs and grabbed a pack of cigarette and a lighter off his dresser. When he moved back to the bed again, he had a black t-shirt in hand that her offered to her. She thanked him softly as he sat on the edge of the mattress next to her, pulling the shirt on over her head. It was impossible to ignore the smell of his cologne and smoke that clung to the fabric that made warmth settle in her chest. He was close enough that his thigh was touching hers, his eyes lingering on her as he fished a cigarette out of the pack.

“You want one, or are you just going to steal hits from mine again?” he asked, his voice a gentle grumble as he brought it up to his mouth to light. Valerie grinned, licking her lips quickly as she watched the end of the cigarette burn red.

“If you gave me one, most of it would go to waste,” she responded, tucking her hair behind her ear. “So really, it’s better that I just take a few drags from yours.” There was a matter of fact tone to her voice that made Billy scoff softly as he shook his head.

“Yeah, yeah,” he murmured, taking a long hit from the cigarette before offering it to her. He sucked a breath in through his teeth as she took it from him, his eyes on her as she lifted it between her lips. “You gonna leave your number for me so I don’t have to wait another two weeks for you to call me again?” Smoke billowed from his mouth as he spoke, making him look like every bit of the sex god he was.

Valerie rolled her eyes, laughing softly before taking a drag from the cigarette. She was grateful that the smoke in her lungs gave her a moment to mull over a response. “I’ll think about it,” she told him finally, and it was his turn to roll his eyes, shaking his head as she grinned. She exhaled, then took another hit before passing it back to him.

They were sitting close enough that she could feel the warmth radiating off of him, and her eyes moved over the lines of his chest and shoulders. Part of her wanted to lean into him, because she had decided that she liked the feeling of his body against hers, regardless of if his dick was involved or not.

Silence had settled over them, and Valerie’s eyes kept drifting back to his face. She had slept with him twice now, and was still struggling to believe that it wasn’t all some sort fever dream. Despite being unsure of what his game was, what he was after, right then didn’t seem like the best time to ask.

“You busy Thursday night?” Billy asked, leaning to tap the cigarette on the edge of the ashtray on his nightstand before offering it to her. Her fingers brushed over his as she took it from him, raising an eyebrow as she ran through her schedule in her mind.

“I don’t think so. Just got class until 2,” she responded, holding his gaze as she took a drag. “What’d you have in mind?”

He shrugged with one shoulder, running his tongue along his teeth. “Thought we could see a movie or something.”

Both of her eyebrows raised then as she took a final hit from the cigarette before passing it back to him to finish off. “D’you actually want to watch the movie, or is seeing a movie an excuse for you to finger me in public?” she questioned, the teasing tone obvious in her voice.

The question made him laugh loudly as he shook his head. “What kind of Don Juan do you think I am?” he asked, still grinning as Valerie mirrored the expression.

“Oh, was that rumor about you getting Lisa Kramer off during a football game completely false?”

Billy’s eyebrows knit together as he thought about it. “Probably not, but remember, Val, I’m a changed man,” he assured her in an exaggerated tone as if he hadn’t just eaten her out in his kitchen before fucking her into the mattress, and they laughed together again. “Okay, but really, which one was Lisa Kramer again?”

Valerie snorted, closing her eyes briefly as she tried to picture what the girl looked like. “Uhh, curly blonde hair, drove that car that was a really ugly shade of green,” she said, enjoying this relaxed, funny side of him.

Billy tsked softly. “Yeah, that rumor was entirely true,” he admitted, getting a burst of laughter out of Valerie. He was wearing that warm, genuine smile when she met his eye again, and it was one of those moments where it felt like time had frozen around them.

She had forgotten over the last several weeks that even talking to him felt good and natural, even if it was just them sitting there, still half naked and sharing a cigarette. The realization of how calm he seemed struck her, considering how anger had always seemed to vibrate from him before. Valerie still worried that she was wading into dangerous waters with him, but when he looked at her like that, the prospect of drowning didn’t sound so bad.

Valerie watched as Billy shifted to lean back against his headboard, and he watched her right back before he tilted his head toward the empty space next to him. She knew if she got more comfortable than she already was, she wouldn’t want to leave.

“You gonna sleep over?” he asked, seeming to sense her hesitation. Grinning apologetically, she shook her head.

“Not tonight,” she said, wishing she was giving him a different answer. “I’m observing at the local high school tomorrow, so I’ve got to be up by 6.”

“I’ve got an alarm clock,” he countered, head tilted to the side slightly. He had to at least try, and it actually made Valerie feel good to know that he wanted her to stay over enough that he was trying to convince her. The grin she gave him made it clear that he wouldn’t be able to talk her into it. “Do you have to be up that early every Monday?”

“Yeah. On Wednesdays, too,” Valerie told him, and his nose scrunched up at the thought of having to do that twice a week. His expression made her grin, and she finally got to her feet to gather her clothes from the floor.

“You takin’ off now?”

“I probably should.” Disappointment laced her tone as she stepped into her skirt, and Billy sucked his teeth with a nod. His eyes were on her as she removed the shirt he’d given her and tossed it onto the bed.

“I’ll walk you out,” he said as he watched her fasten her bra before she pulling her sweater on.

Valerie nodded as he got to his feet and stepped around her to approach his dresser. He grabbed a pair of sweats and stepped into them, and somehow the sight of the sweats sitting low on his hips had her contemplating sleeping over.

“You decided if you’re gonna leave me your number yet?” Billy asked, licking his lips as he moved closer to her. He picked up the shirt she’d left on the bed and pulled it on, and it was her turn for her eyes to linger.

Laughing, Valerie nodded. “Yeah, I guess I can do that,” she said with a wide smile, her hands coming up to his shoulders before wrapping her arms around his neck.

“There’s a pen and paper by the phone. You jot your number down, and I’ll grab your panties from the kitchen,” he told her, smiling as he leaned to just barely brush his lips over hers. She exhaled a breath, hating that that light kiss was all it took for her to want to start pulling her clothes off again already. Billy obviously knew what he was doing, considering the smirk on his face when he stepped away from her again and nodded toward the door.

She found the pen and paper where he’d said it wold be, and she wrote her number down with a V next to it. He was back from the kitchen by the time she was finished, dropping he previously discarded underwear into her hand with another knowing smirk. Valerie put a hand on his shoulder for support as she stepped into them and he chuckled softly.

“You’re lucky I didn’t try to keep them,” he teased as she righted herself, his body still close enough to hers that he could easily have wrapped himself around her if he had less restraint. She scoffed in response to his word, rolling her eyes before she stepped away from him.

He watched her walk to the front door to step into her shoes, and he followed a few steps behind her to do the same. Reaching around her, he opened the front door for her and let her step onto the porch first.

“So, Thursday?” Valerie said as they crossed the street to where she’d parked her car.

“Yeah, Thursday,” he responded with a nod, licking his lips as she turned around to face him. “I’ll call in the next couple days to hammer out the details.”

“Okay, sounds good.” She smiled warmly at him as she nodded back, her keys in hand as she hesitated, content to linger there with him for a few more moments.

“It’s not too late for you to come back inside and get back in bed,” Billy reminded her with an earnest grin, enjoying the laugh he got out of her.

“Next time,” she assured him, her hand coming up to tuck her hair behind her ear.

“Next time,” he repeated with a brief nod as she watched his eyes dropped to her mouth.

Valerie wasn’t sure which of them had moved first, just that his lips crashed into hers as his arm looped around her waist. His other hand was on her jaw, holding her in place there as he hummed into her mouth. She felt dizzy from it quickly, both of them hanging on to the last thread of their evening together. Pulling back, she rested her forehead against his as she took a breath, then pressed a soft, short kiss to his lips.

“I’ve gotta go,” she said quietly, laughing as she untangled herself from him. Billy pressed a kiss to her temple before he released her, taking a step back to give her room to open her car door.

“See you in a few days,” he told her, licking his lips again. She nodded with a smile, closing the door once she was in her seat. He exhaled a big breath as he started back toward the house, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweats.

Valerie pulled away from the curb and exhaled a breath of her own, a contented, pleased smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

****** post notes: And, we're back! Obviously, I don't know much how you all are feeling about the story so far, but I really like this chapter, and I really enjoy exploring the softer, more mature side of Billy. The next chapter is going to be more about his perspective and the things that have changed in his life between the end of season three (sans him dying, obvs) and when he found Valerie at the bar!

#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove fic #stranger things fic #stranger things smut

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lobsters-on-their-heads · 7 years ago

Text

Continuing Travels of Cophine, Chapt. 3

Delphine leaned against the wall in the hallway, listening to Julian tell Cosima the entire story of her relationship with Jérôme Bellot. She'd gone years joyfully not thinking about any of that relationship, except as a means to avoid making the same mistakes again. There'd been no reason to tell Cosima about him; he was ancient history as far as she was concerned, even less a part of her current life than her boarding school suicide attempt. When Julian first brought him up, she'd fled to the bedroom, pacing a few tipsy rounds around the room before going back to the hallway. She didn't want to hear the story again, but she needed to hear Cosima hearing the story.

She heard the story wrap up and Julian offer Cosima another glass of wine, which was politely declined. She heard the scrape of the chair on the floor, and in a moment Cosima walked into the hallway, inches from Delphine's place against the wall.

“Hey,” she took Cosima's arm and searched her face. There, in Cosima's beautiful eyes, was the look she hadn't seen in almost a year. The look that said, Who are you, even? What else aren't you telling me? What else are you hiding?

“Hey,” Cosima said.

In the kitchen, Julian busied himself putting things away, humming a little tune as he worked.

“Come here,” Delphine told Cosima. She took her hand and led her to their room, where she closed the door gently behind them, her eyes never leaving her girlfriend, taking in her face, her eyes, her body language. Cosima did not seem angry, at least, but she was clearly hurt and a little wary.

“Why didn't you tell me about that?” Cosima asked. “I mean, shit happens, but you could've told me about it.”

“I didn't see a reason to.”

“No? You didn't think I'd want to know that you were engaged to a guy for, like, a day?”

Delphine sighed and leaned back against the door. She wanted to keep a hold on Cosima, to physically show her her love, but Cosima pulled away, and she wasn't going to force it. “I didn't think it mattered, no. It doesn't matter to me anymore.” She watched Cosima pace, then sit on the edge of the bed, then stand up again. “I can see it matters to you, though.”

“Of course it matters to me. Everything about you matters to me.”

The words made Delphine's throat tighten. Under different circumstances, they would have been incredibly romantic, but Cosima's face looked so hurt right now... “I'm sorry,” was all Delphine could manage. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I told you, I didn't think it mattered. I wasn't hiding it from you. I told you already, I'm not hiding anything from you anymore. Ask me anything, I'll tell you.”

Cosima chewed on her lip. Delphine was quite sure she hadn't done that until recently, until she started spending all of her time with Delphine, a prodigious lip-chewer herself. “Can you tell you more about this?” Cosima asked. She went over to Delphine and put her hands on her waist. “More about Jérôme and... and everything?”

“Yes. You've heard the story, though. What else do you want to know?”

Cosima moved both of them to sit on the bed, where she drew little patterns on Delphine's thigh. “Why'd you tell him yes, if you didn't want to marry him? I guess that's my main question.”

She blew a puff of air from her mouth. “Because he asked me in front of everybody. And everyone was smiling and looking at us with these, these hearts in their eyes like they were watching a romantic movie. I didn't feel like I had a choice.”

“Hm. Were you expecting it?”

“No. Absolutely not. I'd never thought about marriage at all. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to stay with him after medical school, and we didn't have much time left there. He wanted to work for a big hospital in Paris, doing neurosurgery. I wanted to travel, to research, to keep learning.”

“Did you love him?”

That question again. Everyone had asked her that, at the time. “I told him that I did,” she said now. “Before. After he told me, you know, a few times. I never said it without him saying it first.” Somehow, she needed to Cosima to know that, to know the difference between her feelings for Jérôme and for Cosima.

“But you didn't.”

Delphine shook her head. “No. I never loved anyone before you.”

Cosima didn't respond right away, but played with Delphine's fingers resting on the bedspread. “It must've hard to tell him no, after all that,” she said finally.

“It was.” She remembered the growing dread, starting when Jérôme first climbed the steps of the stage, one hand behind his back and roses in the other, and building throughout the night as family and friends hugged and kissed them both, told them how happy they were for them. How Jérôme's parents talked about wedding plans and grandchildren, and her own mother had smiled at her.

“I guess,” Cosima went on, “it's silly to ask if he was upset.”

She laughed at that. “Oh, he was quite upset. I'd never seen him angry like that before. He had a temper, of course, as most rich boys do, but he'd never directed it towards me before.” At this point in her life, thinking of Jérôme reminded her of the fake PT Westmoreland, of his privilege, his assumptions, his pomposity. Dating Jérôme had helped her manipulate him, actually; it gave her the appropriate background. She would tell Cosima that, later.

“How did you tell him? I'm guessing you didn't do it in front of a lot of people.”

“No. It was private, in his flat. He wanted to make love, of course, but I... I didn't want him to even touch me anymore. I took off the ring he gave me, and I gave it back to him. I said I was sorry, but I couldn't. I couldn't marry him.” The memory flared in her mind, vivid as it had been then. “He was shocked, at first. I think he thought I was joking. Then he was angry. He was livid.”

“What did he do?”

“He yelled, called me names, threatened me. He asked who else I was fucking. He didn't hit me, though.”

Cosima pulled her head back, eyes wide. “Jesus Christ. The fact that you even need to say that...”

“He never hit me. He acted like he wanted to, but he knew that was a bad idea, for himself. He was angry because I made him a victim, a fool, but he knew that if he hit me, I would make things even worse for him.” The horror on Cosima's face only increased, but Delphine smiled. “He did throw the ring at my face though. He said it cost him 15,000 euro, and he wanted me to give him his money back.” She snorted at the thought now.

“Holy shit.”

Delphine wasn't sure which action Cosima was reacting to. Maybe it was all of them. “The next day, he made sure that everyone knew. Before I even set foot on campus, everyone knew I had turned him down, made a fool of him. Julian supported me, actually. He was one of very few people who did, who stayed with me when everyone else treated me like, like... like the worst bitch on the planet. They said I broke his heart, but that wasn't true. If it was, that wasn't why he was so angry. He was angry because he had to call his parents and tell them someone turned him down. I was his prize possession, you see. You heard what Julian said; he would take me places, fancy places, where all the rich people went, and he would show me off. Whenever we went out together, he always had his hand on me, on my waist or the back of my neck. He needed everyone to know that I belonged to him.”

As she spoke, Delphine's eyes fixed on the patterns on the bedspread, her mind stuck in the past. When she finished, she turned to look up at Cosima again, and saw tears in her eyes.

“I wish you'd told me,” Cosima whispered. “But I really fucking hate this guy.”

“It was a long time ago,” she said, stroking Cosima's face. “He's long gone for me.”

Cosima turned her head to kiss Delphine's fingers, her face pinched, and Delphine knew why. She knew it wasn't only for her sake that Cosima hated Jérôme, but because she knew how it felt to be owned, to be seen as a possession, an accomplishment, rather than a person. In Cosima's case, though, it had been far, far worse. She took a shuddering breath and looked back at Delphine. “I'm glad you told me,” she said.

“Me too.”

* *

The next day Delphine did two inoculations, thankfully not together, but nearly. The time between the first clone leaving and the second arriving was less than an hour, and when she saw the second arrive she nearly panicked. As far as she could tell, though, the two had not met, so clone drama would not be ensuing that day.

There were times she regretted not telling them. She'd seen how much benefit Cosima got from her clone family, and how much more the others had gotten. Sarah and Helena in particular would be much, much worse off without their sisters, and they knew it. What if these women also needed that kind of support system?

In the afternoon, she met Cosima at an open air market where they bought some more gifts for people back home, and Delphine continued replenishing her wardrobe. The clothes she'd lost were all less than a year old, making her grumble as she bought new ones. At least she knew she had a few items of winter wear tucked in the rooms under The Rabbit Hole – clothes which probably still smelled like Revival or Switzerland. Watching her girlfriend sort through a display of wind chimes, she went over and stroked her back.

“Seeing anything you like?” she asked her.

“Eh.” Cosima gave the vendor a small smile and moved on. “Looking for a Christmas present for my parents. I haven't given them anything in two years; they deserve better than some tourist-trap kitch.”

They'd picked up some sweets already to share with everyone, some accessories for Alison and Helena, more baby clothes and toys than the twins would ever need, and a lewd set of shot glasses for Felix. Kira, Gemma, and Oscar had specific wish lists with links to Amazon, but Charlotte claimed she didn't want anything for Christmas. At the next stall, Cosima picked up a bottle of extra hot hot sauce. “Maybe I'll get this for Charlotte,” she said. “If we all give her weird shit, maybe she'll tell us what she actually wants next year.”

Delphine scanned the warning printed on the bottle, advising the consumer to keep the sauce from eyes, pets, and children, and to avoid consuming if one had heart or respiratory issues. “If we buy this, you're going to try some, aren't you?”

“Heck yeah, I am. My respiratory issues are long gone now, thanks to science.” She paid the vendor, a middle-aged man who's wide grin showed several missing teeth.

“We can find something better for Charlotte, too.”

“I know. She's just being all stubborn, too-cool-for-anything.”

“She is a Leda.”

Cosima gave her a sideways look, and she smiled in return. For the past few months, Cosima and Charlotte had spoken on Skype every week on a schedule, with Cosima helping her with homework or school issues, and Delphine had noticed a strong Leda attitude coming through on Charlotte's end.

When they finished their shopping, they took a local bus back to Julian's house. “Alison does want us to save money,” Cosima commented as they stepped on and found seats, Delphine settling her medical bag on her lap along with the shopping.

After driving a few blocks, though, the bus stopped, trapped in a clusterfuck of traffic and car horns. Delphine was watching a young man selling flowers by the roadside when Cosima reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and she realized Cosima had been watching her, frowning. “Is everything alright, chérie?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah. I was just thinking.”

“Okay. What were you thinking about?” She smiled at her, trying to keep her tone light, but remembering very well their conversation the night before, when Cosima's expression had been similar.

“That I don't know much about you. I mean, I know you now, but I don't know who you were. Does that make sense? Like, Julian told me that it's hard to get your parents in the same place together, and he acted like I already knew that. But I don't know anything about your parents except they're divorced.”

“Mmhm.” Delphine saw a couple people watching them, listening to the English, and she wondered how much they understood. “Well, he's right. It is hard to get them in the same place. They don't get along well.”

Cosima took Delphine's hand in hers and ran her thumb over her knuckles. “How old were you when they split?”

“Four years old. I don't remember them ever living together, actually.” She would have left it at that, but Cosima wanted to know more, so she continued. “I spent most of my time with my mother, at her house, until I went to boarding school, and then I didn't see either of them very often. Chauffeurs would pick me up for school breaks and take me back again.”

Cosima's mouth turned up on one side. “You had chauffeurs.”

She remembered Cosima's stories about learning to drive in her father's station wagon, purchased before Cosima was born, and she sighed. “Yes, my mother had chauffeurs.”

“And your father?”

“When I saw him, he drove places himself, but I saw him, oh, maybe once a year by the time I was school aged. He'd ask me how school was going, and then he'd try to talk economics with me.” As an adult, the memories made her smile. “You know, it's funny. I used some of the things he taught me when we were investigating Neolution. It was nothing super important, nothing I couldn't have read about on Google, but I remembered him telling me how investment accounts worked, and tax brackets, and all of that.”

Cosima's smile spread to show her teeth. “I'm sure he'd be proud to know you put his lessons to good use. Maybe you could tell him some time.”

The bus inched forward a bit and some workmen got off, probably realizing it would be faster for them to walk wherever they were going. The day was cool, with a light breeze blowing through the bus's open windows. Delphine lifted Cosima's hand to her lips and kissed it. “What else would you like to know?”

Cosima snuggled closer and rested her head on Delphine's shoulder. “Oh, you know. Everything about you.”

“Hmmm....” She giggled. “That's a lot.”

A small commotion broke out a few seats behind them, and they turned to see a young, massively pregnant woman grabbing on to the seat back in front of her, her face twisted in pain. People around her stepped back, shouting or gasping. A quick look at the floor showed why – her water had broken.

“Oh, shit,” Cosima said.

Delphine did a quick scan of the people near the woman; none of them seemed related to her. None were jumping to help or comfort her. They all looked confused, afraid, or even angry.

“Why are you on the bus if you're this close to delivery?” one man shouted. Some other called for the driver to assist, but the driver only looked back at them, not moving from his seat.

“Move,” Delphine told Cosima, and stepped past her to the woman in labor. In a soft voice, she introduced herself in Spanish and explained that she was a doctor. The woman said her name was Gabriela, and she wasn't due to deliver until next week. Delphine smiled at her and said, “Well, it looks like you're delivering today, instead.”

Meanwhile, the traffic had ground to a complete stop. Other passengers shouted to each other and the driver about ways to form an opening in the other cars, and two men got off to yell at other drivers to get out of the way because there was a woman in labor on the bus. Cosima hung back, staying near their bags until Delphine waved her over.

“Bring me my bag,” she said. “All of my bags.”

Fortunately, the other passengers recognized that she was taking charge and let Cosima through. When she got to Delphine and Gabriela and set the bags down, Cosima's face was a few shades paler than normal, and her eyes were wide.

“It's okay,” she told both of them with a smile. “I have done this before. Just not on a bus.” In fact, she reflected, her medical background was something Cosima knew plenty about already.

She enlisted the help of a sturdy-looking older woman to help Gabriela into a leaning squat and had Cosima spread out some clean fabric from their shopping bags underneath her. To that, she added her own shirt, leaving herself in a tank top. More clothes to buy tomorrow, she thought.

“We can use your shirt for the baby,” she told Cosima, who nodded, thin-lipped and still pale.

The women on the bus teamed up to form a visual barrier around them, calling encouraging words to Gabriela and offering bottled water and handkerchiefs to Delphine and Cosima. Gabriela's contractions were about a minute apart, making Delphine wonder just how long she'd been in labor and, indeed, why the hell she'd gotten on the bus in the first place, but Gabriela seemed young, maybe not yet eighteen, so maybe she just had no idea what she was doing.

“You're doing wonderfully,” she told her. “Is there anyone we can call for you?”

Gabriela shook her head, breaking Delphine's heart a little. Hopefully this girl had some support somewhere. She was wearing a skirt, which helped a lot, but also panties, which needed to come off. “Can you help me with these?” she asked her, careful not to overreach. Earlier in her life, before meeting Cosima, she might have just told Gabriela to remove them, or removed them herself without asking. See? I am learning.

A wave of contractions hit, making Gabriela scream and grip the other woman's forearms. The bus driver heard and laid on the horn, adding his own shouts to get other drivers to move, and in a minute, the bus did drive a little bit forward, but no more than that. The motion of the bus did nothing for Gabriela's state of mind or physical comfort, and she began to sob.

“It's okay,” Cosima whispered to her, rubbing her knee. “It's okay.”

Looking at Cosima's face, though, Delphine wasn't sure who she was trying to reassure. It was surprising, that this woman who'd calmly autopsied her own clone, removed and dissected the brain of a dead Castor, and handled her former boss's decaying head, would be so squeamish around natural childbirth. There was no time to explore that here, however, as Gabriela screamed and writhed some more, her underwear now on the floor beneath her. With a gloved hand, Delphine estimated Gabriela's cervix was dilated about seven centimeters, and the baby would be there quite soon. She gave Gabriela her best smile even though her own knees were starting to ache.

Not as young as you used to be, Cormier, she told herself.

“You're doing very well,” she told Gabriela. “Just keep breathing. That's right, hold her hand.” Another woman nearby took the new mother's hand and gave her a supportive smile of her own.

The next contraction coincided with a small burst of movement from the bus, and Gabriela peed onto Delphine's hand as she reached to measure the cervix again. She smiled to reassure Gabriela that it was normal, but the poor girl hadn't even noticed. The last woman who's baby she'd helped with had pooped on her, she remembered, and this one probably would, too.

“It's good that we got all that hand sanitizer,” she told Cosima, who just nodded once and looked away again.

When the crown of the baby's head appeared, the bus had advanced a block or so, and some men reported a bad car accident up ahead. Delphine wasn't concerned about that. This baby would be born here, on a city bus, and when it grew up it would likely get tired of hearing the story told again and again at every family gathering. That's what she told herself, at least, to distract from niggling fears of the umbilical cord being wrapped around its neck, or the cervix not dilating enough and the head being squished, or the mother bleeding to death before better equipped help could arrive, or all of the various ways babies and mothers had died during the childbirth in the course of human history. Cosima, for her part, just kept patting Gabriela's knee and flatly repeating, “You're doing just fine. Really good. Just keep it up.” Delphine wondered if Cosima even knew what she was saying anymore.

Eventually, with ever more encouraging words, some gentle guidance by Delphine's gloved hands, and a bit of poop from the mother, the baby's head emerged, no umbilical cord in sight.

“Cosima, get ready to catch it. Use your shirt!”

“Okay, okay.” Cosima pulled off her T-shirt, revealing nothing more than a bra underneath, and gave to Delphine. A quick thought came to Delphine then.

“You're only expecting one, right?” she asked Gabriela.

Through her sobs, Gabriela said yes, only one baby was expected. And then the baby was there, slipping out and onto Cosima's T-shirt. Beside her, Cosima gave a soft groan and turned away like she was going to vomit.

“It's a girl!” Delphine exclaimed. She used the shirt to wipe the fluids off the baby and nudged Cosima to get the scissors from her medical bag, which Cosima did. In a few minutes, she had the baby wrapped in a hand towel given by another passenger and she handed it to Gabriela. “She's perfect,” she assured her over the baby's new cries. “You did a very good job!”

There were cheers then, as the news of the newborn girl travelled around the bus and even to surrounding cars who'd been stuck in traffic with them. One man passed around some cigarillos for everyone and another opened a bottle of tequila. Delphine delivered the placenta, then gathered up the soiled cloth and put it into a trash bag provided by the driver, who just shook his head at the whole ordeal. Once the worst of the filth was away and her gloves were off, she slathered her hands and arms in hand sanitizer and smiled over at Cosima.

“Are you alright, chérie?” she asked.

“Me?”

“Yes.” Some other passengers offered them both their seats, clapping Delphine on the back as she sank into hers. One of them gave Cosima her own light jacket to wear. In English, Delphine spoke softly to Cosima. “You look unwell.”

Cosima shook her head. “No, I'm fine. Gabriela's the one to worry about, not me.” She must have realized she wasn't making eye contact, because she took a deep breath and turned to look Delphine in the eye, a little forcefully. “Seriously, don't worry about me right now.”

“Okay.” She squeezed her hand and nodded. If Cosima didn't want to be fussed over, she wouldn't fuss over her.

It was another two hours before they got back to Julian and Martín's house, parting with Gabriela and her new baby after giving her the peso equivilent of $100 to help her get started with parenthood. By the time they reached the house, color was back in Cosima's cheeks and she was joking about Delphine's hands in another woman's vagina.

“Please tell me that doesn't actually bother you,” she told Cosima as they approached the house, hand in hand.

“Oh, no, just teasing, babe.” She leaned over to kiss her jaw. “Beside, birth is, like, the least sexy thing on the planet. I'm kinda happy that you're never going to see me doing that.”

“You've never wanted to give birth?”

“Hell no. I'm perfectly fine being sterile, thank you very much.”

Delphine was going to point out that, since it was Cosima's uterus that prevented her becoming pregnant, her eggs could, hypothetically, be viable, so sterile might be the wrong word, but Julian appeared in front of the house before she could go there. They told him about the drama of the day, and Cosima laughed off her squeamishness as nerves. Both exhausted, they crawled into bed early, and Cosima wrapped an arm around Delphine's midsection.

“Well, I learned some new things about you today,” she said.

“Hm. You already knew I've delivered babies before. That wasn't news, I don't think.”

“No, I didn't mean that. Although, knowing you've done it before, and seeing you do it are drastically different things. But I was referring to what you told me about your family. I liked hearing about all that.”

Delphine kissed her softly and smiled. “Maybe I'll tell you more tomorrow, then.”

“I'd like that.” She yawned and nuzzled into Delphine's shoulder. Delphine knew she'd need to move before falling asleep, to avoid waking up without any feeling in her arm, but for now she held Cosima close, breathing in her scent and resting her chin against her forehead.

#continuing travels of cophine #cophine fanfiction #I never want to give birth

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