#charlie/fia clownery

[loveofdetail]

Ages ago I wrote a weird character study about Fia painting Charlie up like an eternalist for Sex Purposes but I couldn't figure out how to finish it. UNTIL I learned that the last theme on the Deathloop Kink Week roster was exhibition/voyeurism, and then I just had to. This is really more angst than kink I guess but OH WELL.

Enjoy!

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 10 - Great Britain

Finally, a race I actually remember stuff from!! (and saw in full, bc it’s the only one Channel 4 get to air live, woo!)

Ferrari strategy clownery and in-fighting, a Lewis podium, and Seb and Mick both scoring points 🥺

Let’s jump in!

I’m watching from the start, bc autism brain, but I will not be discussing Zhou’s crash because we do not profit off crashes here.

I’m v annoyed that Sky is the only English comms options bc I miss Alex Jacques and Billy Monger. How can I be put in charge and put together my dream F1 broadcasting team???

ANYWAY, the starting grid

Mick and Lance in last and Seb in 18th 😭

NICKY IN 10TH?!?!?

I mean good for him but that’s WILD

Lewis up in 5th we love to see it

I BRIEFLY HEARD THE CHAIN. Many kisses on the head to whoever started playing that over the circuit speakers.

Excuse me Ted, The Chain is not “dance music” it’s an icon.

ugh I’d forgotten about Tom Cruise being in the Merc garage. ew.

[Start/Lap 1]: Lewis’ start. Noice

and red flag for Zhou’s crash.

Pitlane Seb, Chris and Antti sighting!!!

(For anyone who wants to re-watch the race on F1 TV, we get the initial all-clear about Zhou just before the 20 minute mark, if you want to skip bits)

Cut to poor George arguing to get back in the race.

Ah, the Bono sighting that launched a thousand gif sets (23mins05 for anyone that wants it for... reasons)

Quickly followed by Lewis and Bono sighting. nice.

Ah, everyone’s having to do a pitlane shuffle so the cars are in grid order, not the order they were in after turn 2. #JustF1Things

stop cutting to Tom Cruise ffs no one cares

Thank you, cutting to car 5 and co is what I signed up for

Esteban clapping for his mechanics for fixing his car 🥺

everyone in the paddock having to bring their braincells together to try and figure out the grid order at the restart. F1 is a Serious Sport™️

Lewis and his mechanics!!!!!! 11/10 extremely wholesome🥰🥰🥰 

The person in the crowd with the Happy Birthday Seb banner 🥺😭💚

Another Seb and Antti sighting, the TV director is getting a belated basket of pastries

Oh to be Lewis and Angela, scooting down the pitlane, mostly unbothered

He parked in the AM garage???? On Seb’s side???

Seb sighting, Happy Birthday edition 💚💚💚

I also adore all the crowd shots, the vibes at Silverstone are always great.

“I’ve got a text from the FIA” Love Island: F1 Edition

(proper race start is at the 1 hour mark on the F1TV replay if anyone wants to skip the red flag period)

British GP 2 electric boogaloo let’s go.

[Restart/Lap 3]: Verstappen and Sainz continuing their Canada beef at the restart.

Very nice to see most of the grid having their braincells on the first proper lap of racing.

[Lap 5]: ngl it’s actually really nice to see cars actually being able to follow each other round the lap without losing much time. The new regs do work, who knew!!

Lewis v Lando. spicy.

aaaaand Lewis into P4!! having been to Silverstone twice I can confirm the crowd are indeed v v loud whenever Lewis makes an overtake. When we talk about the King of the UK it’s actually Lewis sorry not sorry Charlie

[Lap 8]: oh Seb pitted and is in plum last 😭

[Lap 10]: Race has calmed down a bit, I am awaiting pit stop/strategy drama.

asdfghjkl I looked up at my Mum as she spoke to me for a second and Verstappen got past Sainz for the lead.

ohhh he went off at Becketts. ty replay.

and Pierre and Yuki doing the dance of the sugarplum fairies.

[Lap 12]: Charles closing in on Sainz. Incoming internal Ferrari violence.

The saga of Ferrari vs itself continues

And Sainz suddenly retakes the lead bc Verstappen has a problem???

oh it’s a puncture.

[Lap 14]: Apparently the pit stop did not fix anything bc he’s still not happy on the radio.

ahhhh it’s bodywork damage.

[Lap 15]: Meanwhile there’s the Alonso train making a return.

And back to Ferrari v Ferrari

Comms, fans in the grandstands, people watching at home: Ferrari shouldn’t be letting their cars battle for so long like this! Ferrari: Read at 3:45PM.

No one has a lack of braincells quite like Ferrari

Meanwhile Lewis is collecting fastest laps like Pokémon

[Lap 17]: Seb watch - he’s up into P15!!! Progress!!!

oh jeez listening to these Ferrari team radio interactions is almost painful.

[Lap 18]: NICKY IN P8!! GOATIFI TIME!!

asdfghjkl cut to Binotto while Charles and Sainz are scrapping.

[Lap 20]: I have now lost count of the number of fastest laps Lewis has now amassed.

Every time I see one of the McLaren’s I weep at the hideous exposed carbon livery, I demand full papaya 😭

“It’s like dangling out an overly sized carrot” “Bono’s like a shark smelling blood” Nope I’ve got nothing to say to any of that. #JustCroftyAndBrundleThings

[Lap 23]: Angela and Nicholas sighting 🥰

[Lap 24]: SEB OVERTAKING A RED BULL ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!! 11/10. I could also swear I heard the crowd cheer as it happened 😭

Everyone is a Sebastian Vettel fan. Even if they say they’re not, they’re a Sebastian Vettel fan.

11/10 onboard. Also don’t ask me about his helmet for longer than a second because I will cry.

[Lap 26]: Right, back to the race, Lewis into the lead as Charles pits.

....

I forgot that they put Charles on Hards. Another hit for Clowneria Ferrari.

Another Bono sighting 🤍. I’m getting the vibes f1blr possessed the spirit of TV direction at this point.

stop cutting to Tom Cruise

[Lap 28]: SEB INTO P7!!!!

[Lap 29]: Oh boy more Ferrari on Ferrari violence. I’m not strong enough I still haven’t recovered from the Seb years.

[Lap 31]: And The Ferraris finally swap round.

Helmet Watch: Lewis’s pride helmet >>>>>

[Lap 33]: Mick passes Nicky for P10!!!!

[Lap 34]: Oh jeez now Sainz is asking for team orders. I must have burned all these team radios from memory bc I am not having a good time and I feel attacked.

[Lap 37]: Esteban v Verstappen you say? 👀

ohhhhh he gets it done into Stowe!!! Nice!!

and cut to the delighted Alpine mechanics, as they should be!!!

[Lap 38]: Seb is behind Fernando. Is it 2012 again?

ahhh Mick closing on Verstappen and Ocon

[Lap 39]: NOOOOOOO Esteban has a problem

Cut to sad Alpine mechanics 😭. The emotional whiplash of F1 continues.

Safety Car for very obvious reasons.

[Lap 40]: Where can I get an emotional support Bono??? asking for a friend.

Oh. Charles is on Hards, while Sainz, Lewis and Perez on on Softs. All together now: Clowneria Ferrari

Granted the timing meant that they might not have been able to pit Charles but yeah. Ouch.

“A good job from Aston Martin” Hell yeah!!!! Write it into the sky the green team are doing good!!!!!

[Lap 42]: Safety car ending, spice is coming

Sainz says fuck Ferrari’s strategy calls.

[Lap 43]: And off they go!!!

ahhhhhhhh Lewis on Perez violence and Ferrari on Ferrari violence at the same time

Seb still in P7 PHEW

[Lap 44]: Top 4 separated by two seconds. SPICY.

“Why did Mercedes look out at sea?” Because the W13 was a monster next question

Oh jeez more Lewis and Perez violence I can’t keep up.

(maybe watching this right before bed wasn’t a good idea dfavhfvuh)

Charles v Perez v Lewis going into Copse. Batshit insane.

oh, here it comes. *clears throat*

THROUGH GOES HAMILTON

Fucking. GOREGOUS.

[Lap 45]: sduvhuavhe Fernando and Lando turning up late with snacks mid-brawl asking if they missed anything

That was just... such fun racing though. MUCH DRAMA, MUCH FUN.

[Lap 47]: Oh Lewis v Charles round 2.

...Lewis really tried round the outside of Stowe. SIR. THINK OF MY BLOOD PRESSURE.

[Lap 48]: ROUND THE OUTSIDE OF LUFFIELD AND SIDE BY SIDE INTO COPSE AHHHHHHHH

Okay he got it done going into Stowe I can breathe and check on Seb now.

The way the last 8 laps of the race were more dramatic than the first 40 odd. Silverstone always provides the entertainment in some way.

Oh jeez louise the replay of Charles going round the outside of Copse. INSANE.

[Lap 50]: Mick fighting Verstappen for 7th. Seb watching on from P9 giving Mick good vibes I hope.

[Lap 52/Finish]: Sainz drives home unbothered while everyone’s fist fighting behind him.

LEWIS P3 HELL YEAH!!! With fasted lap. King of Silverstone.

ahhhhh Mick so nearly had Verstappen

BUT P8 FIRST EVER POINTS LET’S GOOOOOOOOOO

SEB IN P9!!! MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT GERMANS!!!! 💛❤️🖤

no but Seb scoring points on his birthday with the helmet his kids made for him I 😭😭😭😭😭

And lastly, the most important sighting of the race, Zhou back in the paddock safe and sound ❤️

Whew. Watching this right before bed was not the right idea bc I somehow forgot how insane the closing laps were. ngl watching all the Ferrari in-fighting was STRESSFUL, and the race was actually alright before the Safety Car but WHEW THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON. Lewis v Perez v Charles was literally insane to watch, in the best way for how intense it was.

Overall (from the Lap 3 restart onwards) 8 front wings out of 10. Next up: Austria!

[loveofdetail]

i sincerely believe that charlie was so out of the loop re: kink that for a while there he thought he and fia literally invented femdom

[loveofdetail]

Obsessed with the idea that Charlie and Fia used to have little art dates. "I'm bored, come over and paint with me." And he'd use her ungodly expensive Tyvian marten brushes to doodle little green aliens and rocketships onto a canvas, then dissolve into a puddle when she told him he had a natural eye for bold lines

[loveofdetail]

Deathloop’s writing is ambiguous about many things but what is clear & obvious canon is that Charlie and Fia have had sex on the floor of the Yerhva, on the floor of the Introspector, outside in the snowstorm, in the cockpit of Charlie’s rocket, in Harriet’s pulpit, in Aleksis’ bed (without his knowledge), in Aleksis’ bed (with his knowledge), in Aleksis’ bed (with his participation), and on the roof of the Bakery.

[loveofdetail]

i think fia would tell charlie several hundred loops in that she’s a bit sad they’ll never have period sex again and he’s like “aw babe we can get WAY more intense with the bloodplay now that we respawn” and she just sighs and says it’s not really about the blood and that’s how he knows something’s REALLY got her down

[loveofdetail]

obsessed with a scenario where charlie gets fia and a bunch of her friends to playtest a board game for him, and not only does fia have all kinds of fascinating commentary on themes, visual design, etc, but she absolutely CRUSHES all the other players (incl charlie himself) and he’s furiously taking down resource balance notes while also trying to pretend he’s not having a category 5 boner event

[loveofdetail]

there’s a lot of really good deathloop meta and content flying around and meanwhile the inside of my skull is 95% “i wonder how assertive fia had to be the first time she and charlie. the first time they. mmmmmmMMMMM”

[loveofdetail]

charlie and fia approximately 20 minutes before she takes his virginity

[loveofdetail]

i have been resisting the urge to develop charlie/fia headcanons overly matching my own experiences this whole time and then other people just come out and do it for me lmao

[loveofdetail]

[steeples fingers] So. Do you think she just paints him up like an eternalist and sticks a mask on him, or what?

[loveofdetail]

i like to imagine Charlie and Fia got around to co-authoring an absurdist choose your own adventure novel about the Kingdom of a Thousand Crystal Palaces