#charlie nelson smut

[editfandom]

Matt Murdock - Daredevil, 2015

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith (Ch. 14)

Chapter Fourteen: Revelations

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You have multiple revelations in your savior's room when you wake up.

Warnings: 18+ content, SMUT!!! unprotected sex, mentions of drugging, violence

A/N: OKAY HERE IT IS THE LARGEST UPDATE I HAVE EVER DONE. This bad boy is a whopping 9,678 words! Just some warnings/reminders: there is unprotected sex in this. Please read with caution and also (not to go all high school gym teacher on you) please practice safe sex in real life! OKAY LOL now that that's out of the way... ENJOY!

Tags at the end!

Ao3 Link

credit to gif owner!!!

New York City 

Matt Murdock’s Friday nights were usually meant for patrolling Hell’s Kitchen. He always sat up at the rooftop of his apartment—he spent most nights there, whether it be to escape reality for a little and live in his own head, or to listen into the city for any trouble or danger. The case was always the latter, of course. As he paced under a dark sky, and as raindrops began to trickle over the city, he sat hunched in the corner of the roof, listening. Only tonight, he was listening for something in particular.

As soon as he heard you enter a taxi that took you all the way to Zach’s apartment, he bolted from his rooftop and jumped from roof to roof, to roof, until he was finally caught up with the taxi, and you were stopping in front of Zach’s apartment. Careful not to be seen, he slid down a fire escape and ran to the side of the building, waiting as he listened for you to enter the elevator that took you all the way up to Zach’s apartment. 

Matt wasn’t new to sneaking around. He slipped into the apartment lobby without being seen. Instead of taking the elevator, Matt took the stairs. After reaching Zach’s floor, he noticed his apartment took up the entirety of it, and there were strangely no hallway cameras. He slipped inside the hall after you entered his apartment. Zach locked the door behind you. 

The only hard part about this mission was listening to you and Zach talking. He listened from outside the door, against the wall, patiently. Waiting for any indication that this was a bad scene, waiting for something for Zach to do or say that showed he was lying. He listened as you faked not being impressed by the view of the city, he listened as Zach showed you his library, he heard your subtle disappointment at not looking at the law books, he listened as you finished your glass of chardonnay, and graciously accepted a second glass. 

And then, he did hear something that piqued Matt’s interest—as Zach poured your second glass of wine, he reached for something in the pocket of his pants. A small pill container, the size of a quarter. Matt couldn’t smell what the pill was. He couldn’t tell which glass he let the pill dissolve in. Maybe it was a prescription for Zach. The two of you continued on with conversation—Matt’s heart jumped when you mentioned him and Foggy’s name—and his hands created fists at Zach’s answers. Everything seemed okay—maybe the pill was for Zach, but Matt needed that confirmation. 

The next few minutes happened so fast, as Matt was trying to piece it all together and make sense of the scene he was listening in on. 

“You okay?” He heard Zach ask. Matt’s brows furrowed underneath his black mask, and all his heightened senses were focused on you. Your hands weren’t moving—they were sweaty. Your breathing was beginning to get heavier. Your throat was dry suddenly. You could barely move, and you were struggling to find your voice. And when you did, Matt’s heart dropped, and he broke into a cold sweat. 

“Something’s not right,” he heard you utter weakly. Matt wanted to barge in there now, but he needed to make sure that what was happening was true, and with every bone in his body he prayed to God that it wasn’t what he thought. He listened as Zach offered to help you lay down on the couch, but it wasn’t until Zach whispered those words you wanted to lay down that his fears were confirmed true. 

Zach must’ve not heard Matt’s first attempts at kicking his door down. With all his might, Matt rammed his right foot at the door handle, kicking and kicking until he finally made a dent in it, and he was able to knock the door down. 

An all-encapsulating rage filled Matt’s bloodstream, it felt like—it felt like he wasn’t even in control of his body. The rage was controlling his movements. He stomped over to where Zach hovered over you, as he was unbuttoning his pants, and gripped Zach’s shoulders so hard he threw him onto the dining room table. 

Without thinking, he began to punch Zach in his stomach, in his arms, his jaw. Everywhere. 

“YOU DO NOT TOUCH HER!” Matt shouted as he gripped Zach’s shirt by the collar and yelled in his face. Pulling a punch back, his knuckles met Zach’s cheekbone, again and again and again. 

“CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Matt hollered above Zach’s groans in pain. “CAN YOU HEAR ME?!” Matt hadn’t yelled this hard since the last time he ever was in the same room as Wilson Fisk. Matt’s hands were trembling with rage. 

“Y-yes,” Zach cracked, coughing up some blood. Matt threw him back on the floor and knelt on his chest, pressing on a bruise Matt’s fists had formed. 

“Listen carefully,” Matt seethed, holding Zach’s face. “You will be disbarred,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’ll find your pill bottles, and tie you to this overpriced dining table, and leave you until someone finds you.”

Matt punched Zach in his chest once more before asking, “Do you like how it feels to not be in control?”

He doesn’t let Zach answer. He throws him to the ground once more and does exactly what he said he would—instead of sensing for the pills, he sensed for the containers. After finding them, Matt dragged Zach’s beaten body to the table and tied him with the dining room tablecloth so tightly, that his arms would probably lose all sense of feeling in an hour. Matt threw the pill bottles in his lap. 

Feeling that cold sweat over himself again, Matt immediately ran to your side. You lay unconscious on the couch.

He whispered your name. 

“It’s me,” he said, even though he knew you couldn’t hear him, “I’m here.” He placed his fingers on your pulse—it was there, but it was slow and faint. 

Without wasting time, Matt took you in his arms and escaped Zach’s apartment down the stairs. There was nowhere else to go but his own. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

Matt busted down his rooftop access door and immediately rushed to his bed with you in his arms. Gently laying you down, he ripped off his mask and searched for his burner phone on the nightside table. 

“Claire,” Matt said hurriedly on the phone, “I know it’s late, but I need you.”

“Hi Matt, it’s nice to speak with you too,” Claire said sarcastically over the phone. 

“I have an emergency,” Matt said in a hushed tone. With one ear pressed to the phone, the other focused on you. You were lying so still, and your heartbeat was faint. He could tell your body temperature was rising into a fever. “Could you come to my apartment?”

“What’s wrong?” She asked with worry in her voice. “Are you hurt?” 

“Not me,” Matt shook his head, “it’s a young girl. Twenty-one. She was drugged and now she’s unconscious and I think she’s got a fever now.”

“Jesus, twenty-one? Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?”

“I—I can’t,” Matt said, “I’ll explain when you’re here. Just please come. I’m worried. Her heartbeat it’s… it’s slow. Like, really slow.”

“I’ll be right over.”

Matt clicked his phone shut and immediately went to kneel by your side. He took your delicate hand in his and held it to his lips, eyes closed. Your heart was so faint, it was a struggle for his senses to focus on it. Closing his eyes, Matt whispered a prayer against your hand.

“Be near her in time of weakness and pain, sustain us by your grace…”

Your skin felt so hot in his—it seemed your temperature had spiked. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “This shouldn’t have happened. Not to you.” And when he spoke these words, he wasn’t sure what exactly he was sorry for—he couldn’t narrow it down to one thing. He was sorry he lied to you. He was sorry you didn’t know the truth. He was sorry he broke your heart and you needed mending and this is what happened. In every single way, he blames himself for what happened to you tonight. He’ll blame himself forever; forever beg for your forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, against your knuckles. 

He stays like this for a long time, kneeling next to you and holding your hand, until he hears Claire’s knock at his door. 

Matt lets her inside immediately—he can sense she has her usual first aid kit along with a bigger suitcase, one he wasn’t familiar with. 

“Thank you,” Matt breathed out. “She’s in my room.” 

Claire began to unpack her kit and suitcase. Matt listened from the corner of his room, giving her some space. She had a stethoscope and thermometer, and inside the larger kit was a portable IV drip. Matt listened as Claire unpacked the IV drip, standing it next to the bed. She pulled out an IV packet and laid it on the side table. She placed the stethoscope on your chest, right over your heart. It was still very slow. Matt felt a tightness in his chest.  

“She was drugged?” Claire asked.

“Yes,” Matt affirmed. 

“Do you know who did it?” 

Matt tightened his fists. “Yes.”

“Looking at your bloody knuckles, I don’t even have to ask what you did to him.”

“He’ll be disbarred.”

“Disbarred? Wait—a lawyer did this to this poor girl? Matt, how do you know her again?” 

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. Obviously, he hasn’t told anyone about you. He’s wanted to talk to someone about it, but never found the strength to—not even in confession. “It’s a long story.”

“Well, I’ve got all night.” 

Matt moved to sit at the edge of his bed, near you. By how Claire was kneeling and looking at Matt, he knew there was no escaping the situation. She had such a way over him that he ended up confessing more than he intended to. It was just the way things were between them. 

He sighed again before he spoke. 

“I saved her one night,” Matt began, “at the beginning of the summer. She was out with her friends. She went back to the bar she was at to get her wallet. She was alone. A few guys stopped her on her way home, with ill intentions, but I saved her.”

“Okay,” Claire gently urged, knowing it didn’t stop there. 

“I…I didn’t expect this to happen. She started talking to me, and I ended up walking her home that night. I didn’t think I’d run into her again. But then, I did. Another night. This time, she was saving another girl from some asshole boyfriend. She was almost attacked again.”

“Seems like you have a type,” Claire said with irony in her voice. 

“I saved her again. She asked me to teach her self-defense, so I did. And then… I just kept coming to her. Every night this summer, on her roof. I wanted to be with her.” 

She was silent for a moment. “Does she know who you are?” 

“No,” Matt shook his head, “and that’s the worst part.”

“Jesus, Matt,” Claire shook her head. “Why wouldn’t you tell her who you are if you felt something for her? You just kept this lie going?” 

“Because she ended up getting hired at my firm. I—I didn’t know she applied. Karen interviewed her and wanted to hire her. I couldn’t tell her.”

“You could’ve,” Claire argued, “you so could have, Matt.” Claire’s exhale said it all—it was a sound Matt was used to hearing from his friend: a sound of disappointment, exasperation, one that asked what were you thinking?

“She’s…young, Matt.”

“Age has nothing—“

“That’s not what I mean. I mean, I don’t know her, but when I was her age, I was naive as hell and thought everyone around me had good intentions. So when someone you think is close to you, someone you trust, hurts you, it hurts a thousand times more than it should. A thousand times.”

“I know, Claire,” Matt said, “I know.”

“Then, why lie?”

“I didn’t want anything to ruin what we already had. Like, her finding out that the person she’s been seeing is actually her boss,” Matt said, and he never really spoke these thoughts aloud. When he did, he once again, realized how fucked up the situation really was—his lying, in both parts of his life. 

“Sounds like you selfishly withheld the truth so you wouldn’t lose her.”

“Right,” he digressed. 

“But something tells me now, you may lose her either way.”

“I already lost her. One night, she tried to take my mask off while we, you know, and I—I lost it. I yelled at her. Told her I wasn’t ready. She told me she never wanted to see me again. She told me she loved me, and it wasn’t fair what I was doing to her.”

“She was absolutely right,” Claire said. 

“She was wrong about how she thought I felt about her, though.” 

“I know how you are, Matt,” Claire said softly, changing her demeanor from before. “You push the people you love away. It’s a terrible habit.” 

“I didn’t want to push her away,” Matt argued. “I wanted her, more than anything. I was afraid to lose her. I thought that keeping the secret would afford me that luxury. The truth is, I don’t deserve her.” 

“Stop,” Claire said. “Enough with the Catholic self-loathing. That alone is enough to push people away. If you want her, you tell her the damn truth, and you fight for her! If you already lost her twice, it sounds like you have only one chance to make it right.” 

He stayed silent. If only he was so lucky to still have one more chance with you. 

He listened as Claire took your temperature and placed the back of her hand on your forehead. 

“Jesus,” Claire uttered. “She’s burning up. 104 degrees.” 

“The side effects?” 

“Rohypnol is a very strong sedative, hypnotic drug. Just one pill can knock you out for hours. She’s—it’s not good, Matt. I think he gave her a high dose to burn up like this.”

Matt shut his eyes tight, in an attempt to control his anger. “How long will she be out? What does she need?”

“It depends. She’ll definitely need you by her side because she may be really anxious when she wakes up. It’s another side effect. Plus confusion and nausea. You’ll need to talk to her calmly. She needs sleep, plenty of water, and this IV I’m putting in now.”

“Okay,” Matt nodded. “Do you think she’ll be out the whole night?” 

“I don’t know,” Claire shrugged, “but you need to make sure you are here with her, or else if she wakes up to an empty room, she’ll panic. She needs you here.”

“I’m not leaving her side.” 

“She needs you, Matt. As in, Matt Murdock. Not vigilante boyfriend.”

“I know,” he breathed. “I know.” 

“I didn’t know what to expect so I brought some clothes for her. She can change into them when she wakes. Otherwise, just make sure she drinks water. It’ll have to be flushed out of her system. It’s going to be rough if she wakes up earlier than six hours after the drug, and it’ll take another 12 hours for it to be out of her system. I think she should stay here for the weekend.”

“That’s fine,” Matt nodded. “She’s safe here.”

“I know she is,” Claire said. “I’ll leave the kit so you can take her temperature—unless your abilities can do that. Otherwise, you know what else to do.” 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

After Claire left, Matt stood in his room for a moment, standing over his bed with you in it. Tuning out the light rain that had begun, he listened to your chest as it gently rose and gently fell. You made no movements at all except to breathe. He sensed that your shirt was still more than half unbuttoned. Careful to not touch your skin, he buttoned it all the way back up. 

He closed his eyes and focused all of his senses on you. Your body temperature was still high. You’d likely get chills from it. He threw his silk blanket over you and found some more blankets to put at the foot of the bed, in case you wanted more. He fetched a glass of water and placed it on the nightside table. With one final pause, Matt retreated to his living room and to his couch.  

For a while, he just laid there, hand over his heart, the other under his head. He listened to you through his sliding doors, sleeping. A great part of him was concerned for you, but the other part of him was wondering how you would react when you woke up. From waking up in his bed to realizing what had happened—would you remember it all, or would the side effects be too strong? And of course, when he decides to tell you who he is, how will you react? The one thing he has been trying to avoid this entire time will now be reality. He wonders, if he had told you from the beginning, would this all have ever happened? 

He’s imagined having a relationship with you as Matt Murdock. He imagined late nights at his apartment, with you studying and him coming home from a late-night patrol. He imagined talking about law with you, drinking with you, kissing you, leading you to the bed he’s imagined laying you in countless times. Yes, he’s wanted you in his bed, but not like this. Not like this. If the guilt he felt was bad before, it was nothing compared to now. 

An hour passes. And then two, and then three, and Matt’s counted each breath you’ve taken. Your heartbeat was steady now, not slow like it was before. Your fever was still high, and you’ve begun to shake in your sleep. He almost wants to get up and put more blankets on you but— he pauses—you’ve shifted in bed. Your heart starts pounding loudly in your chest, in his ears—you’re awake, and you’re scared, like Claire said you would be. 

Matt sits up from the couch and listens as you reach for more blankets. You’re breathing is shaky and your heart is still pounding so hard in your chest. He knows it’s now or never. Slipping his black mask on over his face, one last time for you, he walks slowly to his room and slides the doors open. 

“M-Mike?” Your quivering voice feels like a million tiny pricks in Matt’s heart. It’ll be the last time you ever call him Mike. “What—you brought me here?”

“Yes,” he answers, and he realizes this is the first time he’s speaking to you as your savior in a long time. God, it made him realize how much he had to say to you. So many things were limited to work, to be cordial, to pretend he doesn’t miss how you feel against him, and now that he has another chance, he knows he can’t mess this up. This moment is so delicate for the two of you, but especially you—he’s walking slowly and pauses immediately when he senses you flinch in bed. The reaction breaks his heart.

“It’s me,” Matt reassures you, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know,” you quivered, pulling your knees to your chest. “I don’t know why I flinched.”

It’s no time for Matt to be angry right now, angry that that piece of shit has given you trauma. Matt packs his anger away in a box and mentally shoves it in the back of his mind. He needs to be soft with you right now. Gentle. That’s what you need. And he wants to be that for you. 

“It’s okay,” Matt whispers, and now his own heart is beating hard in his chest. He’s not used to you being so…small. Vulnerable. A lump forms in his throat. He needs to be near you. “Can I sit next to you?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, and Matt can hear the desperation in your voice. “Yes.” 

“Okay,” he quickly says, and he sits on his bed near your knees. You’re still shaking. He wants to wrap his arms around you—tell you it’s okay. But it’s not. “How do you feel?” He asks, even though he knows it’s a stupid question. Truthfully, he’s not sure where to begin. 

“I can’t stop shaking like I have a fever,” you say through chattering teeth. Your body is twitching from the chills. “My head is pounding. My throat is dry.”

“You have a fever,” Matt says, “but the IV is helping bring it down.”

“Did you hook me up to it?” 

“No. A friend did,” he said. 

“Mike,” something in your voice changes: you sound uncertain, scared, confused. Everything Claire said you would be, you are. Anxious, frightened. You can’t remember. “What happened to me?” Your voice cracked as you asked your question. Not even Matt’s mask could cover the fact he was nearly trembling too. Matt swallows his pain away and clenches his jaw. 

“Nothing happened to you,” Matt tries to reassure you, but he knows there’s more to unpack. Later. “I didn’t let him.” 

“Did he… I felt like everything was fine and then suddenly I couldn’t walk. Did he slip my drink something?”

Matt only nodded. “You’re experiencing the side effects now. It’ll be in your system for 12 hours, but the IV is flushing it out.” 

“Oh my, God,” you cried. Tears welled so fast in your eyes, that they pooled down your cheeks, and the room smelt overwhelmingly like salt. You cried and cried, and Matt thought that while he was well-prepared for the darkness of life, the heaviness that this curse he has brings him, nothing could prepare him for the sound of you in pain. Nothing. He never wanted to hear you like this again. You weren’t supposed to know this pain. This shouldn’t have happened. 

Honestly, being in this mask around you made Matt feel sick. It suddenly felt so tight on his face, like he was being suffocated. He couldn’t do it anymore—he couldn’t hide from you. He couldn’t hide his feelings anymore. He didn’t want to console you as your savior. He wanted to as Matt Murdock. 

He says your name, ever so softly. “You’re with me.”

And slowly, Matt unties his mask and pulls it over and off his head. 

For those few short moments, he doesn’t know what to make of your reaction.

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

“Matt,” You could barely form syllables, let alone words, when you squeaked out Matt Murdock’s name. You didn’t even truly believe you said his name when you saw his face. A tornado of thoughts swarmed in your head: Matt? How is this even…he’s blind—your boss?! Your savior is Matt Murdock? It’s been him all along? 

It’s as if the sight of him alone took away every chill in your body, and you felt even more hot than you did before. Your heart started to pound again, and your tears dried on your cheeks. You weren’t sure for how long you were speechless, but in those moments you tried to put together the puzzle in your head of how this could be possible, but you couldn’t get the pieces to fit. Nothing made sense.

You ran a hand over your face and blinked really hard before opening them again to still see Matt Murdock sitting on this bed—his bed—with you. Concern was etched over his hazel eyes—you were still reeling in this revelation. Your boss, Matt Murdock. Who gave you daily tasks at work, who you helped write briefs with, who you went over his cases with, Matt Murdock who you went out after work with to Josie’s, Matt Murdock who got mad at you for putting yourself in danger, Matt Murdock who you desperately wanted approval from so badly because you admired his work, Matt Murdock who you shared early mornings with at the office, Matt Murdock who took his coffee black, Matt Murdock who encouraged you in your legal career…

And then it dawned on you—like, really dawned on you, all at once. 

This wasn’t only Matt Murdock, but this was your savior, too. Your savior who saved you all those months ago on your way home from the bar; your savior who walked you home that very first night; your savior who saved you again, your savior who met you on your rooftop and taught you self-defense; your savior who kissed you on your rooftop, your savior who has touched you—oh my fucking, God. 

“I’m going to throw up,” you felt an overwhelming fullness in your stomach and chest, and your mouth suddenly became very watery, that familiar feeling of your body preparing itself to vomit. Without hesitation, Matt immediately ran to the bathroom and fetched a garbage pail. You grabbed it from his hands and leaned over his bed, throwing up bitter bile and liquid. The nausea you felt compared with the shock was a lot for you right now. You felt Matt reach to pull your hair back but you swatted his hand away, in surprising frustration. 

God, you felt so fucking angry right now. And you wanted to yell at him like he was your savior, but then again, he was also your boss, and that didn’t feel right either. Coupled with anxiety and nausea and that strange dryness of sadness you felt all over your body, you placed the pail on the ground and fell on your back, trying to focus on not feeling nauseous. 

“Nausea is a side effect,” Matt says softly. A side effect of what? The drugs, or finding out you’ve been my boss this entire time? 

“Is it,” you breathed. You really didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t know how to talk to him. You couldn’t even look at him. You lay on your back, facing up at the ceiling. His ceiling. 

“Do you need—“

“I don’t know what I need,” you cut him off. You leaned up on your elbows, looking at him. He looked concerned, worried. Like he didn’t know what to say either. “I don’t know how to talk to you,” you began to shiver again from the chills. “I don’t know if I should talk to you like my savior or my boss.”

“Just talk to me,” Matt furrowed his brows. 

“You? Talk to you?” You questioned. “I—I don’t even know who that is. I’m—I’m infuriated right now. I’m confused how this is possible. You’re—you’re Daredevil? I don’t understand.”

“It’s a long story,” Matt started to say, but you cut him off again. 

“A long story, like how you ended up being both my affair and my boss?” 

He was silent for a moment, his gaze falling short of your chin. Something flashed over his face—realization. 

“You’re upset,” he plainly states. 

“I’m not upset,” you frowned, “I feel…I feel betrayed. I feel like a fool. I… I feel like an absolute mess right now. I wake up, in your apartment, feeling grateful you saved me again from a predator, and then, I finally find out who you are, and all over again I feel like a fucking idiot. Like this is some sick joke.”

“It’s not,” Matt said, “you’re not an idiot.”

“Clearly you think I am,” you argued, “for you to pretend like you didn’t know me this whole time.”

“I didn’t pretend until after your interview.”

“After my interview,” you repeated, “right at the beginning of the summer.”

“Yes,” Matt answered. “I didn’t know you would apply to the firm. I didn’t know we would have this connection before. I didn’t know.” 

“But…you still kept coming to me,” you said in disbelief, “you kept coming to see me, knowing you were my boss now, and the things we did—I feel—I feel so violated. I feel gross. Now that I know it was my boss—you—who I was doing those things with. You… you touched me,” you squinted your eyes at him. “I—I told you that I love you.” 

“I know,” Matt swallowed and looked away. “I know.” 

And that’s all he had to say. You scoffed at him and shook your head. 

“Did you think revealing yourself to me would change anything?” 

“I didn’t know how you’d react. But I wanted you to know because I’m done pretending around you.” His calm demeanor didn’t match your uncertain, upset one. 

“And it took me nearly getting raped for you to finally make that decision,” you jabbed. You were still shaking, but now you weren’t sure if it was from the chills you had or anger. “I wasn’t worthy of it before.” 

Matt furrowed his brows, lips parted—you struck something in him. He shook his head. “__,” he said your name, “that’s not at all why. I care about you so much more than I’ve ever cared for anyone.”

“You lied,” you whispered, ignoring his reasoning. “You lied to me. You sat in your office every day, knowing that at night we’d meet at my rooftop and you’d touch my naked body and kiss me and you showed up the next day like nothing. You—God, and this is the worst part—you knew how badly I was hurting when we fought that one night and you came in every day asking how I was. I—God, I even confided in you about… you… and I didn’t even know it. And you gave me advice. You even lied then.”

“You’re right,” Matt nodded, “I lied. __, I haven’t felt a connection with someone in a long time. You changed that. You changed so much for me. And what we had was—is—special. I didn’t want anything to mess that up. If you had found out after the fact that I was who I was, I was afraid to lose you. I—I didn’t know what to do. I admit it. I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I lied. I will never forgive myself for it.” 

“I’m not sure I can forgive you,” you whispered in return, feeling your heart beating fast. You started to feel nauseous from sitting up and began to lay back down, too weak to continue to argue, too anxious to look at him. It felt like a gate was closing around your heart. Thick chains wrapped around it, with one single lock holding it shut. Once, he may have held the key. 

“You don’t have to,” Matt said after a long pause.

“I know I don’t,” you said obviously. Tears welled in your eyes and your throat suddenly felt very tight. “God, this is so weird and fucked up,” you said as the levity of this revelation fell all over you. “When I didn't know who you were, moments before, I might’ve heard angels sing when I realized you were the one to save me from that awful man. But now, I feel tricked all over again. I want you to go away, but at the same time, I want you to never leave me again.”

“I won’t leave,” Matt said with a quiet urgency, his brows furrowed. “Not ever again.” 

“Maybe you should,” you said.  

You didn’t know what else to say. The man you were pining after for months turned out to be right under your nose the entire time. The man you lost sleep over, the man you cried over, was sitting next to you and he was your boss. You felt anxiety creeping on your skin, and you couldn’t stop shaking. 

“I’m so cold,” you tried to turn on your side avoiding moving the IV in your arm. You closed your eyes, the heavy feeling of exhaustion in your eyes. You felt Matt put more blankets over you before he got up and did as he was told. 

The weight he had on the bed disappeared as soon as he stood up. When the weight of him was gone, you felt instant regret. He walked outside of his room and slid the door shut again, leaving you alone. It was then you finally cried yourself to sleep. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

The loudest crack of thunder shook you awake. One of those sounds that sends you into a mini panic until you get a sense of your surroundings. Heart pounding, eyes searching for a threat in your room. Then you realize this isn’t your room, it’s Matt’s. 

Still feeling the side effects from the drugs, you weakly reached out to grab the glass of water that sat on the nightside table. You finished the whole thing in a few gulps. Settling back down on Matt’s silk sheets, you looked around his room as the rain started to fall hard on the roof. 

The roof made you think of all the times he’s met you on yours. So many late nights you spent with him, lost in kisses and touches. You could imagine it now. His half-covered face, dark silhouette waiting for you, arms open for an embrace. The person you longed for all this time turned out to be Matt Murdock, the person you had so much respect for. Now, things were strange because those two people ended up being the same person. It was Matt you were kissing. It was Matt you loved. It was Matt you exiled and it was Matt you missed, all this time. It was Matt who saved you tonight. 

You felt another urge to cry, and you did. Tears fell on his silk pillowcase. You were upset, but not at him anymore. Flashbacks of the night before reeled in your mind. Zach’s devilish smile, his gentle urgency at offering you wine, leading you to the couch, and… 

A cold shiver went down your spine. You couldn’t remember anything else, and that terrified you. Your skin started to crawl—you wanted to rip this IV out of your arm but knew that wasn’t an option. You lay on your back in frustration, staring at Matt’s ceiling. 

Why did this happen? Why did you feel this pain? Why did Zach drug you? Why did Matt lie? Why did this happen? Why? Why? Why? 

Your eyes welled with tears again, that thick feeling only sadness could bring all over your body. It was a suffocating feeling, to feel so attacked in many parts of your life. All you wanted was your savior to be honest. All you wanted was help with law school. Your tears stained the silk pillow you lay on. 

You felt an overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be alone. Alone in this room, alone in this bed. The one person you wanted to see was your savior, and that turned out to be Matt. And you didn’t want to see him right now, but it was hell to lie to yourself like this. 

“Matt,” you weakly called. He was probably sleeping, what was the use? “Matt…”

Not even a moment later the sliding doors were opened, and in came Matt without his mask on, worry all over his face, brown hair tussled like he was just lying down. He immediately knelt beside you. A warmth spread over your chest at the sight of him. 

“I’m here,” Matt whispered. “What’s wrong?”

Another crack of thunder and you jumped from the noise. 

Everything about him was starting to become familiar, like a blurred image coming into focus. The more you looked at his lips, the more you thought how obvious it should’ve been. You ignore his question. Everything is wrong. 

“Just stay here,” you whispered, “please. The thunder.” 

He nods, and sits patiently, waiting for another command from you. He looks so worried. You stare up at his senseless eyes, wondering if he really was blind. Of course he was, you push the thought away. You didn’t understand it, but he was certainly blind. His gaze fell on your right shoulder. You’ve never been this close to him before, as Matt Murdock. 

“I keep trying to imagine you with the mask,” you reach up suddenly and place the back of your hand over his face, just above his nose, like a mask. He takes your hand off his face and instead holds it, smiling sadly. It’s then you see how bloody and bruised his knuckles are, and the picture becomes even more clear. All those times you saw him with wounds, the times you’ve offered a bandaid, were from his activities as Daredevil.

“What did you do?” You found yourself asking. “To him?” You were mesmerized by the way his knuckles looked a mix of purple and red. It looked painful. 

He shook his head at first. It felt wrong for you to know the lengths of violence he was capable of. “I hurt him badly,” Matt spoke evenly, “for what he tried to do to you.” His hazel eyes were soft, eyelids half moons. Even to hear Matt’s voice gave you shivers. 

“It looks like some of those hits might’ve ricocheted to you,” you commented, holding his hand in the dim light of his nightside table. “And this is just from tonight, huh? I don’t know how you deal with this pain every night. I can’t even handle it now, and I didn’t take anything physical.”

“People like you aren’t supposed to know this pain.”

“And neither should you,” you gently argued. 

Matt pressed his lips together. Something behind his words made you think of all the times he’s told he is Catholic. 

“It was hard,” you felt your tears well again, “to be in that position. I didn’t think I’d make it out there unharmed. Thank God you were there. I keep replaying it in my mind, and these images of him over me keep intruding, and I just get scared again.”

“I could hear it,” Matt said, “in your heartbeat. That something was wrong.” 

“What do you mean? Like your heightened senses?”

“Yes,” Matt nodded, “I can hear your heartbeat. It can tell me when you’re lying, excited, nervous, or scared.”

You were quiet for a moment, realizing Matt probably listened to your heartbeat during the entirety of your affair, and you had no idea. You felt a pang in your heart this time, realizing how unfair it was he could hear if you lied, but you never knew he lied to you. 

“Tell me,” you whispered, “did you ever catch me in a lie?”

“No,” Matt answered, understanding your message. “Never.” 

“I still can’t mesh the two of you together,” you thought aloud, “That the person I fell in love with is the same person who’s kneeling next to me. It’s weird. And you’re the person I spent mornings with, making small talk. Making you coffee. Seeking your approval.”

Matt’s eyebrows lifted at your last sentence. “My approval?”

“If it wasn’t obvious before Matt, I happen to have respect for your work. When you got mad at me that one time, I was crushed. It was like being scolded by a favorite teacher, or mentor. Now, it makes a whole lot more sense to me why you reacted the way you did. You were reacting as my savior, not as my boss.”

“There’s nothing you needed to do to prove yourself to me,” Matt said. “I knew from the moment I met you you were a pure, kind person. Smart. With a tendency to talk back,” he let himself laugh. “You’re going to make an amazing attorney one day.”

“And at night,” you choked up at your words for some reason—you were emotional all around. You felt stretched thin and your emotions felt intense, like you didn’t know what to feel first. “At night, you were the one I always waited for. The one I needed to be held by. The one I needed to—to kiss, and touch and be with. The one I grew so attached to,” your voice quivered. “God, the things we did together,” you shut your eyes tight, cringing at the memories of your savior—Matt—making you shake from an orgasm, wet from his touch alone, his lips on yours… it was all with him. 

Matt shifted as he listened to you speak. He didn’t know what to say. 

“That’s why you never let me return the favor,” you realized. While you were still reeling in you did sexual things with your boss, part of you was thankful he never took advantage of you like that. He could’ve. He absolutely could’ve. But he didn’t. Did that make it better? You weren’t sure. You were still lied to. 

“Do you regret it?” He asked. “Doing those things with me?”

“No,” you said, after some thought. “If you’re the same person I fell in love with, then no. Do you regret it?”

“I only regret not telling you it was me sooner,” Matt answered. “But I can never regret those moments we shared together. More than the physical things. Everything with you, I hold to my heart,” he took your hand and placed it on his chest, so you could feel his heartbeat. It was beating fast. 

“I can’t read heartbeats,” you said, “what are you feeling?”

“Afraid,” Matt replied. “I’m afraid to lose you. Again.”

“Then help me understand,” you whispered, tears in your eyes. “That it really is you.”

Your hands lay folded on your stomach. With his gaze softly on your neck, Matt reached his right hand and covered it over your hands. He felt warm and strong—a feeling you knew all too well. You gasped at the contact, even though it was so small. You knew your savior and Matt was one and the same from his touch alone. You looked at him through bleary eyes. 

“It’s me,” Matt whispered. “It’s always been me.”

“This is strange,” you said softly. “I watched what I said around you at work. I wanted to impress you so badly. I wanted to learn from you. At night, when I didn’t know it was you, I just—this is going to sound weird—I just wanted to feel you. Be near you. You made me feel so safe. And I can tell you anything and be myself.”

“You can still feel all of that,” Matt gently said, reaching the back of his hand to caress your face. “It’s me.”

“That’s going to be a tough threshold to cross, and I can’t do that alone.”

“What do you need, then? Anything, and I’m there with you.”

You took a deep, sleepy breath. There truly only was one way to cross this threshold of uncertainty. 

“I need you to kiss me,” you said. 

Matt listened to your heartbeat for a few moments to make sure that you weren’t lying. He wanted to be certain that this was what you needed. Truthfully, it's what he needed, too—desperately. 

With his one hand still on your stomach, and the other brushing your hair out of your face, Matt closed his eyes, and slowly filled the small space between your faces. You closed your eyes as well. Just as the hint of his lips was on yours, barely a millimeter apart, Matt paused, let your lips brush for a moment, before he put his lips gently on yours and kissed you ever so softly. You melted in the kiss like you always have. Yes, it was certainly him—your savior. 

He kissed you with a gentle urgency, his nose pressed on your cheek. Forehead to forehead. You placed your fingers on his chin, like you always did before you were going to kiss him. You gently moved his face to yours and leaned in again to kiss him softly. Matt closed his eyes and with a new urgency kissed you again, placing his hand on your neck. He breathed in your scent, and felt your velvety skin under his fingers. You opened your mouth, inviting Matt to enter with his tongue, and at the contact, you gasped. 

“Oh my, God,” you said, and Matt pulled away from you like he’s been burned. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked out of breath. 

“It really is you,” you breathed, chasing after his lips with yours. 

“It is,” he said against your open mouth. 

You pull away again, that uncomfortable feeling of knowing it was Matt. Was it uncomfortable, or was it that thrill you felt the very first night you kissed your savior? 

“We can stop,” Matt offered, lips wet from your kiss. You ran your fingers through his brown hair, your fear of letting him in slowly fading the more you looked at him. This was your savior, this was Matt. You shook your head. 

“I don’t want to stop,” you said softly. “Kiss me again, and make me understand.” 

Matt wasted no time in doing as he was told. He shut his eyes and focused his senses on all of you. Your heart was beating in his ears, and he was grateful it was from excitement and not fear. Finally, he could kiss you without hiding. He licked your bottom lip and gently placed his hands on the back of your neck, lifting you to meet him more comfortably. When he felt you tug at his hair, Matt lifted himself on his bed with his knee. He felt your legs spread under the silk blanket and felt you wrap your arms around him, bringing him closer to you. You placed both hands on his face, Matt kneeling between your legs now. It felt dangerous to be this close to you, closer than he ever has before. Your legs were spread, and he could already sense your wetness pooling in your panties. He could smell your delicious scent. You started to shake again, and Matt stopped. 

“Are you okay?” Matt pulls back and places both hands on your shoulders. “You’re shaking.” Your legs started to shake around him.

“Yes,” you said. You leaned up and met him for a kiss, lips clashing and torsos touching. Wrapping your legs around him through the blanket, you brought him closer to your body, and felt him through the sheets. Matt’s whole body, on yours, fully clothed and separated by blankets. There’s no denying and no stopping what’s about to happen between you. 

“Closer,” you pleaded. Matt stepped off the bed and pulled the sheets from off of you. You took your skirt off but struggled with your shirt from the IV. Matt chuckled, and that familiar smug smile on his face made you want to wipe it off with a kiss. 

“Let me help,” he said softly. You laid your arms flat on the bed and watched as Matt leaned down to slowly unbutton your shirt. You shut your eyes, pushing the thought of that awful man away. This was Matt leaning over you, your savior touching each button slowly, Matt’s gaze falling on your chest. The thrill of it being Matt was a lot, but you realized you’re nothing he hasn’t touched before. 

When your shirt was fully unbuttoned, Matt slipped it off your arms easily. You watched as he also took off his shirt, and you raised your eyebrows in shock. You knew he was built from the times you’ve touched him, but nothing prepared you for his toned and muscled naked torso. 

“Can I take this off?” Matt tugged at the loop of your skirt. You nodded. 

“Please.”

Matt unzipped your skirt and slowly dragged it down your legs, leaving kisses on the way. You couldn’t stop shaking.

“You’re shaking, sweetheart,” Matt said softly, and God, the flips your heart did when he called you that nickname, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” you breathed, “yes, Matt.” The more you said his name, the more comfortable you felt with knowing he was your savior, this whole time. 

Matt leaned over you again, moved the hair out of your face and kissed your forehead. You ran your fingers over his bare torso and wrapped your legs around him, putting pressure on where you needed it most. Matt kissed your forehead, your nose, back to your lips. When he heard your heartbeat pick up again, he whispered in your ear. 

“It’s me,” he whispered, “It’s always been me.”

“Okay,” the feelings you felt were overwhelming now. Your chest felt full when Matt leaned down to kiss you slowly again. He began to pepper kisses on your cheek, your jawline, your neck. And he kissed you for a long time on your neck. You lightly moaned at the contact. 

“Mm,” you moaned softly as Matt kissed your neck again. Goosebumps formed all over your arms and back, and you shivered against him. Matt missed hearing you like this as much as he missed kissing you. He felt your nipples harden against him. Your sex was wet through your panties, aching to be touched. 

“Can I touch you again?” Matt asked in a deep voice in your ear, pulling back from the neck kisses. 

“Please,” you whispered. Matt’s eyes were half moons as his gaze fell on your chin. First, he slowly ran his hand from your neck to your right breast, gently squeezing and kneading it. He felt your nipple harden in the palm of his hand, and he had to stifle his moan. Matt leaned down to kiss your collarbone before he kissed the supple skin of your breast around your nipple. You bit your lip and closed your eyes. Matt could feel the heat pulsating from your pussy, but he wanted to take his time. 

“Matt,” you whispered. He liked hearing you say his name. His real name. 

“Matthew,” he gently corrected against your skin because God he needed to hear you say his full name. 

“Matthew,” you whispered again. Matt wrapped his lips around your nipple, and a jolt of pleasure spread all over your back as he began to suck the sensitive bud. His tongue began to flick your hardened nipple back and forth, back and forth, and you curved in the bed. 

“Oh,” you chanted as he kept licking and sucking your nipple. He played with your other nipple with his fingers before he pulled back and kissed you between your breasts. 

“It’s me,” he says again. He begins to kiss you down your stomach and stops right at your panties, which are soaked with your wetness. Before he does anything, Matt kisses either of your thighs and slowly pulls your panties off. He takes off the rest of his clothing too, so you are both naked. Though he can’t see you—he can only feel you. And God, do you feel so soft and wet. Your skin has goosebumps all over. You haven’t stopped shaking. Matt can hear your heartbeat in his ears, can sense how wet you are in his bed. 

The ache for him is too much, your pussy is throbbing to feel him inside you. Matt leans down and you tug on his brown hair. Matt breathes in your scent before he places his tongue on your pussy and licks up slowly to your sensitive clit. 

“Oh, God,” you breathe, “Matthew.”

Matt groans against your pussy and begins to lick your wetness faster. He spreads your pussy with his fingers and licks your sex. He presses his lips gently on your clit and sucks, and the intense feeling of pleasure leaves you wanting more. You thrust your pussy onto his face as he continues to lap at your juices. He takes your hand and holds it. 

“Mm,” you moan in a sensual voice, enough to almost make Matt leak on the bed. His hardness is throbbing as it aches to find that sweet relief inside you. He continues to lick at your wetness before he pulls back. 

“How do you feel, sweetheart?” Matt asks. 

“Really good,” you answer, your heart hammering in your chest. 

“Do you really want this?” He asks again, concern laced in his voice, despite the situation at hand. 

“So badly, Matt,” you reply. 

Matt moves up and kisses your lips. You feel your wetness all over his stubbly face as he kisses you deeply. When you closed your eyes, you could see your savior, but when you opened them, it was Matt, your boss. The two were the same. The two were slowly forming into one image. You both pull back at the same time. 

“There’s no going back after this,” you whisper.

“I don’t want to go back if it’s not with you,” Matt says. 

“Don’t lie to me,” your voice cracks, and it surprises you as much as it surprises him. Matt’s brows furrow as his gaze looks down on you.

“Never again,” he says. 

You spread your legs wider in return and the feeling of his hard cock rocking between your pussy lips causes you to moan. Matt balances himself over you, gently sliding his hard cock over your wetness, back and forth. His cock was completely covered in your wetness as it slipped over your pussy. The pressure of his hardness on your clit caused you to feel a tightness in your stomach. 

“You’re so wet,” Matt whispers, “like always. So wet.” He could feel his cock aching for your warmth. 

You kissed Matt. His lips molded to yours as it always did. And suddenly, Matt pushed the tip of his cock into your warm, tight pussy. 

“Mm,” Matt moaned as he tried to push into you more. Your toes curled at the attempt. Matt snaked his arm under you and adjusted you so you lay further down on the bed. Matt leaned down to kiss your neck and it was then you felt the revelation rock your body as his fully pushed his cock inside you, filling you up with every inch. 

“Oh, God,” you moaned in his ear as Matt paused with his cock inside you, letting you adjust to his size. He closed his eyes and began to thrust slowly. He felt your velvety pussy wrap around his cock so tightly, it took a few thrusts to fully push inside. 

“That’s it,” Matt chanted softly, “you feel so good. Dear, God,” he moaned in your ear. You wrapped your legs entirely around Matt as he continued to thrust inside your pussy. You felt so full with his cock inside, and the more he thrust, the more you wanted him deeper. 

“Please,” you begged, “Matthew.”

Matt began to thrust faster and harder into you, knowing he was reaching your sweet spot with every thrust. You just felt…so… good…he kissed your neck to suppress his moans as he continued to thrust harder into you, that sweet relief coming over his cock. The pressure and the need was being melted slowly with your warm and wet and tight pussy. 

“You feel so good,” he says again, because it’s all he can say. “So good.”

“Matt,” you said with urgency, knowing you were about to come, “Come inside me.”

Matt paused at your request but continued to thrust into you. Out of breath, he looks up at you. “I’m so close,” he breathed. 

“Come inside me,” you say again, this time with moan at the end, begging. “Please, Matthew.” 

Matt continues to thrust inside you, every wave of pleasure washing over him as he listens to your moans and hears the sound of how wet you are and his cock slamming into you. He wanted you to come first, and he felt you were on the way as your pussy began to clench his cock harder than before, your toes began to curl and your stomach began to tense and suddenly—you were washing all over his cock as you moaned his name. This wasn’t your savior, this was Matt. 

“Matt!” You screeched as you came and your pussy convulsed in orgasm and Matt was thrusting even harder into you. You could feel the tip of his cock all the way inside you, each time it hit your sweet spot you moaned in his ear and came all over him. 

Matt took a shaky breath as he let those familiar waves wash over him, his throbbing and aching cock soon to feel the relief he’s been wanting and needing this whole time. From your tight wetness around him to you moaning his name, Matt isn’t far behind. With one last hard thrust inside you, he stays inside your pussy as his cum completely fills your warmth and you clench his cock. Matt comes inside you and continues to thrust with each pump of cum he spills in you. One, two, three… his warm cum feels so good inside you, as it spurts in your pussy. 

“Oh, God,” he breathes in your ear, “Oh, oh, my God.”

Breathless, he stays on top of you for a moment, both your bodies slick with sweat. It’s your wetness and his pooled together as his cock stays inside you until he’s strong enough to slowly pull out, and when he does you feel the absence of his size immediately. His cum spills out of you slowly and Matt is on his way to get a warm towel. 

You lay there, breathless, as he cleans you up and your heart returns to its normal pace again. He brings the silk blanket over your naked body and kisses your bare shoulder. 

“Stay here,” you give him one last command. Matt's eyes are soft and he smiles a little. He joins you in his bed, under the silk covers, and brings you close to him. He hopes you’ll be this close for a long time. 

TAGS: @starry-night-20 @sumsytee @queerqueenlynn  @mattmurdocksstarlight @marvelcinematiquniverse @hailey-murdock @yeonalie (please let me know if I missed you!)

[mimiunfiltered]

I'm doing it!!!

I am going to start a series for Heartstopper! I have been rewatching it and want to create a series of fics that showcase the poly relationship between Charlie, Nick, and an OC.

It will be a hinge, meaning Charlie and the OC will not be together romantically. They will be besties and have an extremely close relationship but they will be connected through dating Nick.

I want to cover the topics that are realizing you're poly and wanting more than one person and that is okay. I am currently in a closed poly relationship and I just couldn't stop seeing this vision as I've been rewatching the show.

I hope you all enjoy it and I can't wait for you to read the first part coming soon!

[ar3-y0u-l0st]

》 🄷🄴🄰🅁🅃🅂🅃🄾🄿🄿🄴🅁

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Fandom: Heartstopper

Release Date: 22/04/2022

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CHARLIE SPRING

*TORI SPRING

NICK NELSON

TARA JONES

DARCY OLSSON

ELLE ARGENT

TAO XU

IMOGEN HEANEY

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Item Count: #008

TOTAL:

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(*) Will not, under any circumstances, write smut

(**) If you're into them then I won't deprive you ig

[male-fictioner]

Heartstopper

Nick Nelson

Charlie Spring

[bi-panic-actually]

Wrote a surprise, completed fic and dropped it today!

In this aged-up AU, Charlie never told Nick that he'd been in love with him for a decade, until it blew up in their faces during a fight. After thirteen months of not speaking, Tori calls Nick to tell him Charlie needs him, and Nick drops everything to care for an injured Charlie.

Charlie broke his ankle and can't put any weight on it for five more weeks, which means needing help. Something he would rather die than ask for. Then, as if he's dreaming, Nick shows up when he's falling apart and vows to take care of him. It doesn't matter that they haven't spoken in over a year, all that matters is that Nick is there and holding him close.

But the feelings that nearly destroyed them are boiling under the surface. They need to figure out how to navigate the new them--even if that means reopening healed wounds. (This has a very happy ending don't worry!)

Big thanks to @songbird3724 @h3artst0pp3rs @plan3toi for being my life support during this one 🩷

[phoenixxxlily]

Favorite Books I Read in 2024

House of Flame and Shadow (Sarah J. Maas)

"I'm sick and tired of people using girl as an insult."

Dishonestly Yours (Krista and Becca Ritchie)

“Hope. Belief. It’s driven my entire life. But I manufacture belief for others. I create false hope and fake promises, and in a jarring second, I question if I’m tricking myself into believing we can help him. I’ve always trusted the confident voice in my head that whispers, I have this. Trust me. Everything. Will. Be. Okay.”

Heartstopper, Vol. 1 (Alice Oseman)

"I am your friend and I do care."

Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries (Heather Fawcett)

"Perhaps it is always restful to be around someone who does not expect anything from you beyond what is in your nature."

Heartstopper, Vol. 2 (Alice Oseman)

"I like Charlie Spring! In a romantic way, not just a friend way!"

One For My Enemy (Olivie Blake)

“Hate and love were so very similar. Both were intestinal, visceral. Both left scars, vestiges of pain. Hate could not be born from a place of indifference. Hate was only born from opposite sides of the same coin.”

Kingdom of the Feared (Kerri Maniscalco)

“And he is her fate. As she is his. 'As above, so below'. They are the balance. Light and dark. One fallen from above, and one created in the underworld below.”

[farfromstrange]

Foreigner’s God: Chapter 50

Main Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x OFC

Summary: Matt comes home late at night when Eliza’s already asleep. Foggy confronts him. The argument between the two friends escalates and he storms out. It’s on Matt to explain what he saw to his girlfriend, but despite his worries, she’s willing to listen to him.

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 6.9k

A/n: We’ve made it to 50 chapters in a little less than a year (10 months) and I couldn’t be more proud of me (and us). Thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far and I hope you still find the same enjoyment you did before.

Read Chapter 50: Meet Me In The Hallway here on AO3!

Foggy’s eyes switched to the clock every so often. He promised her that Matt would be back soon, but the more time that passed, the less hope he had left for his friend to show up. 

Eliza was staring at her hands, her brain fuzzy with the remnants of the sedative and the picture of the silhouette that she kept seeing whenever she closed her eyes. She considered telling Foggy or the officers outside, though when she opened her mouth, nothing would come out. So she chose to eat her feelings. She chose to ignore the nagging feeling of fear that seeped through the fog, a cruel emotion that easily made its way through her heart into her soul. She knew all about fear, knew what it looked and smelled like. She knew what it felt like. This fear though, was different from what she had felt before. It sent shivers down her spine while at the same time intriguing her. 

She began to think; if the shots had been meant for her, whoever infiltrated her hospital room would have killed her. They would have used her incapacitated condition to end what they couldn’t finish before. The only plausible explanation for her still being alive was that Viktor was the target and whoever shot him finished what they had started. In that case, she wasn’t sure if she ever wanted to speak of what happened. She would have thanked the strange silhouette if she had gotten the chance. At the same time though, she tapped into the part of her that tried to tell her that Viktor’s death had been the easy way out for him, even if he hadn’t been the one to orchestrate him. She didn’t get the chance to face him again in front of a jury and enforce justice in the way he deserved. He should have gone to prison, but he was dead now and she couldn’t change that. The conflict that repeated itself in her head started to turn into a downward spiral. 

The worst part wasn’t having to sit in that hospital bed and think about all that happened or the spike in her heart rate when the thoughts picked up momentum. The worst part wasn’t Viktor’s dead face that contorted into a grin whenever she thought back to the pool of blood that had mirrored her face. And the worst part also wasn’t the fact that someone had come into her room while she had been asleep, brushed the hair out of her face, and then turned around and left the second she began to stir. No, the worst part was that Matt, the selfless lawyer by day and vigilante at night, wasn’t there. 

Eliza felt her sanity slipping out of her hands. She couldn’t pinpoint a single thought, and the ones she got a glimpse of terrified her, and as she dug her nails into her palms to feel something other than the numbness and fear, she wished for the one person who could always ground her to be by her side. He wasn’t. He left to chase justice, as so often, and he left her behind. Not to fend for herself, she didn’t want to go that far, but he left her with Foggy because finding out who shot Viktor, finding out if she was at risk, was more important to him than staying by her side until she was herself again. 

She needed him. Eliza needed Matt and she wasn’t one to often admit when she needed something or someone, but she needed to be held. She needed him to hold her hand, to whisper sweet nothings into her ear, and simply be there for her like he had before. Foggy was her friend and she appreciated his dedication to making sure she was alright, but he wasn’t Matt. There was a deeper understanding between them that someone like Foggy couldn’t give her, not even if he tried hard enough. Their souls were intertwined. They were connected. She needed him, and he wasn’t there to give her what she needed. Instead, she felt utterly alone, and it broke her heart. 

Eliza wasn’t angry or jealous that being Daredevil meant more to him because she knew that wasn’t the whole story. It may have appeared so to anyone else, but she knew why he was doing it. He was fueled by rage and the desperate need to fix what was broken. He needed to be in control. He was scared of something happening to her or his friends and that was why he went out there so shortly after it had happened - he went out there to get ahead of things before it was too late, and that had nothing to do with putting her second place. 

Still, as she sat in the hospital bed, biting back tears of frustration, she wished nothing more than for the man beside her bed to be none other than Matt. It was a neediness that came from deep within and it consumed her. The disappointment she didn’t want to feel ate her alive. She was sad, she was tired and she felt lonelier than she had in a while. She didn’t want to be bitter, but eventually, the waiting tore a small hole into her heart. For once, she wished she hadn’t fallen in love with a vigilante like Matt who cared too much about others to look around himself and focus on the relationships he had to nurture for them to persist. For once, she wished their lives weren’t so damn complicated and that they could get more than just a second of peace. For once, she wished to be a normal person with a normal boyfriend who could do normal things together. But it was futile wishing for something that was either too late or impossible. 

The sound of her heartbeat in her ears caused her fists to clench. It rubbed her the wrong way. Her back hurt, which added to the anger already etched into her muscles. She tried to tune out her racing pulse and the beeping next to the bed or the uncomfortably hard mattress under her back - to no avail. Goosebumps covered her skin, her jaw locked and her gums started to bleed from how hard she was biting down on them. 

Only when the door opened and she saw Claire’s face did she slowly loosen up her fist, her nails sliding out of the skin, living behind crescent moons of blood. She quickly hid her hand, not wanting anyone to catch what she had subconsciously done. 

Claire smiled and said something, but Eliza was unable to listen. She focused on the release form, signed it, and faked a smile. They let her go after that. 

Foggy refused to let her go, so he followed her to Matt’s apartment. He never left her side. Guiding her back to bed, he got her a bottle of water and the small pill that held some more of the sedative they had given her back at the hospital. It wasn’t addictive, they had told her and didn’t have the same effects as some sedatives. It was nonbenzodiazepine, she believed, but worked wonders, especially on a brain tired from psychological stress. The dosage was just enough to allow her to sleep and ease the ache in her muscles. It was also meant to prevent any further panic attacks, which she appreciated. 

As she settled into bed, she rolled onto Matt’s side, curling up in one of his shirts and the blanket that smelled like his soap and his almost scentless cologne. She could smell herself underneath it all, reminding her of all the moments spent together tangled under the sheets, holding each other. 

Eliza fell asleep alone in the bed she shared with the man she loved, and she didn’t even know when he would be back. She wanted to cry, but by the time the tears threatened to fall, she was too tired to let them out. She fell asleep with an empty feeling that carried on long into the early morning hours. 

With a fresh cup of tea, Foggy settled into the living room. On the outside, he looked as calm as always, but on the inside, he was burning with anger. Eliza was an excellent actor, but she had not spoken more than two words to him ever since they left the hospital, and she had retreated completely into her shell. He knew she was missing Matt, and as the clock kept ticking, he wondered if Matt would really go back on his promise and not come back until sunrise. 

Foggy almost fell asleep himself before the floorboards creaked and his eyes snapped open. He looked up at the rooftop access, the Billboard outside covering the apartment in a soft blue glow. 

Matt removed his mask, his glove no longer staining blood. It had drained on his way home. After leaving Eddie behind and struggling with accepting what he had found, he searched the area for the person who could have done it. He came up empty-handed and defeated. When he felt a shift in the atmosphere, he was once again reminded that a new day was more than near and he remember one crucial detail. Matt had been so focused on the manhunt that he forgot how much someone else needed him at the other end of the city, and he made his way there as fast as he could. 

Foggy placed his mug down on the table, rising from the sofa. “There is something seriously wrong with you,” he stated as a matter of fact. 

Taking the last step down, Matt let out a sigh. “Yeah,” he said, “I know.” He wasn’t even going to deny that he had screwed up. Judging by the uneven yet steady sound of Eliza’s breathing in the next room and the signature scent of one of his worn shirts on her clean skin that his nose picked up on, she missed him more than he thought she would. 

“She needed you,” Foggy said. 

“I know.”

“And you weren’t there.”

“I know!” Matt’s voice echoed in a hushed shout and his friend glared at him, pointing toward the bedroom door, knowing he could sense the motion. 

He took another deep breath, discarding his mask and gloves and moving toward the kitchen to grab himself a beer. His unfocused eyes darted around wildly, his chest heaving, and his cheeks carried an unusually pale color. 

Foggy had hit the nerve repeatedly and he was still missing a reaction. He wasn’t a cruel person, but he was tired and he had never felt more frustrated in his life – except for maybe when he found out Matt was Daredevil and not the lawful man he’d always expected him to be. 

“I think she cried herself to sleep,” he said. “She took a sedative and she still cried herself to sleep, but she refused my company. She accepted being lonely that much because the person she wanted by her side wasn’t there.”

“I know I should have been there,” Matt snapped back, raising his voice only slightly, “but I had to make sure she was safe. I had to make sure that whoever did this wasn’t after her. I had to… I had to assure her safety, and I couldn’t have done that from here because I didn’t even know what I was looking for in the first place. I did what I had to do.”  

Foggy’s face remained blank. “Was it worth it?”

“What?”

“Leaving her. Was it worth it?”

He uncapped his beer and took a long sip. “It wasn’t Fisk…”

For the first time since Matt came into the door, Foggy let out a groan, almost a sound of disapproval. “Perfect,” he muttered. 

“Foggy-”

“No. I told you that you’re obsessed with him and you wouldn’t listen. Are you happy now? Knowing that it wasn’t Fisk?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “One, I am not obsessed with him, and two, I’m anything but happy because Fisk is the smallest of my problems right now.”

“Oh, do tell!”

“There’s someone out there, someone dangerous… That someone is slaughtering men, mostly gang members, and leaving them to bleed to death. He does it thoroughly. Gangs are afraid of him, and they don’t even know that they're dealing with a single guy who carries the manpower of an entire group. I got that from a low-level drug dealer who, by the time I reached him, had been impaled by a metal rod and was hanging off the wall of an abandoned warehouse. Whoever did this-” he paused, his lip quivering, “He fired those shots at the courthouse today. Why? I don’t know. I got nothing more. The one person who knew bled out right in front of me. The only source I had, gone . So there’s no proof whatsoever that he wasn’t after Eliza or working for Hydra. Someone’s spilling blood all over Hell’s Kitchen,” Matt said, “And I didn’t notice until today. That’s the problem. The problem is he evaded me until now and he continues to do so, and Eliza, you, Karen… you all might be in danger because he knows about her. He knows about Viktor or he wouldn’t have shot him, so I didn’t just do this to find out if Fisk was behind it, I went out there today to assess the danger, and I am so glad I did!”

Foggy threw his arms up as he retorted, now raising his voice as well, “You’re not invincible, Matt!” he said. “You don’t have an iron suit or superpowers that make your hands glow a shiny red like your girlfriend does-”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you can’t fix everything and that some things are just too big for you to handle!”

“I took a vow to protect this city, and when the law fails, someone has to do something. No one cares about what’s happening to gang members or the kids that fell down the wrong rabbit hole into the drug business because they didn’t have a choice, not even Tony Stark. But I do! I care! And it’s my job to fix what’s broken. I need to get this bastard off the streets. I need to find him and make sure that justice is served right this time.”

“So tonight wasn’t all about her then,” Foggy made the somber observation and pointed toward the bedroom door. “Could’ve just said that.”

Matt’s face fell. “Of course, it was about her! It’s always about her,” he said, his voice insistent, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of that. 

“But it wasn’t, Matt! Not really, at least. You kept going because you felt the desperate need to solve whatever mystery was served to you on a silver platter. You kept going because that’s what you do. You never know when to stop. And deep down you know that tonight, you prioritized Daredevil over your own girlfriend, and that’s a real dick move!”

He didn’t answer. Bracing himself on the kitchen counter, he lowered his head. His heart weighed heavy in his chest. A thousand needles Foggy drilled through his soul with his mere words scratched at his delicate emotions, threatening to let them flow over. 

The room fell into an uneasy silence. Foggy stared at Matt, waiting for a response. He waited to see a change of mind on his face, but he was met with pure emptiness. It tugged at the strings of his heart, not wanting to resent his friend but at the same time, he struggled not to let the events of the day get to him. Maybe he was too good of a friend. Maybe he cared too much. He tried to understand where Matt was coming from, but in the end, he could never truly understand. Eliza was hurting and it was the only thing on his mind. He had assumed Matt would feel the same, but his mind was unique, it was complex and hard to get at times. Eliza did. Though it was hard to form a proper reaction because Foggy was emotionally biased, and he would have never denied that. 

He stood there, his fists balled at his sides as he watched his friend. "I know you think I don't get it, and maybe I don't. I mean, I'm not you, and I don't think I could be, but what I do get is the kind of person Matt Murdock is, who you are. I really do get that, sometimes better than you, even. What I'm saying is that you can't keep shutting everyone out. Eliza loves you,” he said, “and God knows she gets you better than anyone else. She gets both parts of you equally and she supports you. Right now, you're pushing her away. You're so focused on this one thing that you can't seem to figure out how to open your eyes. It's like something switched off inside of you today and that's not... that's not okay. Or healthy. That’s the broken Matt Murdock I saw before Eliza came around, and then you’ve finally found someone who understands and what do you do? Fall back into old patterns."

The walls Matt had built around himself only rose higher. "I'm doing what I have to do, Foggy. I can't sit by and watch while people suffer,” he said. “Innocent or not, whatever this guy does has nothing to do with justice. It’s manslaughter. It’s murder. He’s not doing this for anything other than his own enjoyment. That’s why the city needs me in that mask. Me . It needs Daredevil. You’ve seen what happens when I don’t take it seriously, and I hear it every night when I fail to be there. You’re right, Eliza gets it-” As he straightened his back again, his eyes turned dark, “You don’t.”

“Just because she gets it and supports you doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you like a fucking human being craving the touch of her boyfriend every once in a while. Being there for her doesn't make you weak or compromise your duty. It makes you human. It makes her human. ‘Cause, in the end, you both are.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Matt snapped, his anger boiling over. “But I can’t just switch off this part of me, the need to protect, to fight. And it doesn’t only extend to her. It’s just who I am and she knows that!”

“She does know that, but have you considered that she might be swallowing her feelings sometimes?”

“Damn it!” He hit the kitchen counter with the palms of his hands. “Of course I considered it and I know she swallows a lot for my sake, but unlike you, she seems to accept that I’ve got a job to do.”

This time, when Foggy spoke, his voice sounded gentler. "I know it's who you are, Matt. And I know she has a different level of understanding than I do. But you're letting it consume you,” he said, and the concern displayed in his eyes was honest. “And I can't stand by and watch you destroy yourself in the process. Eliza deserves better than that, and so do you."

“Thank you,” Matt sneered, “I already hate myself, you don’t have to add to that.”

“Matt-”

“What, you think I don’t hate myself? You think I don't hate myself for the choices I've made? I do! But this is the only way I know how to make a difference.”

The room fell silent once again, their heavy breathing the only sound filling the tense atmosphere. 

“I can’t change who I am,” he said. “This is me and I don’t want to apologize for trying to do what’s right.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” said Foggy as he grabbed his coat. His demeanor was reserved and Matt could tell from the sound of his voice that he was done. “I get it. Or, I don’t get it, but I accept that I don’t get it because I feel like you won’t listen anyway.”

“Foggy,” Matt began. 

He shook his head. “I have to go home. I promised Marci I’d meet her for lunch and I need to get some sleep.”

“Foggy, I-”

But his friend had already put his coat on and moved toward the door. He counted the last three steps before it opened and fell back into its hinges. 

He considered running after him, but the sound of the bed shifting in the other room caught his attention. Matt set the beer bottle down and carefully moved toward the bedroom. He slid the door aside, the floorboards once again creaking under the weight of his boots. 

Eliza’s eyes were wide open when he stepped inside, his features softening. “Hey,” he murmured. 

“You left,” she said, her voice still thick with sleep. 

“I know, I’m sorry.” He sat down at the edge of the bed, reaching out to caress her cheek. “I’m so sorry,” the breath died on his tongue. 

She caught the tears glistening in his brown eyes and she took his hand. All anger she had felt before subsided the second she saw him smile at her, although it was the broken version of the light he usually tried to show her. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

She swallowed thickly. “I missed you.”

His thumb stroked over her cheekbone. 

“I needed you,” she said. 

Matt nodded weakly. “I’d, uh, understand if you weren’t ready to forgive me. I promised to be there for you and I failed. I failed because…” he shuddered. 

“Because you were afraid that if you didn’t go out there, whoever shot Viktor would hurt me too and then you’d lose me again?” she finished for him, her statement sounding more like a question. 

Once again, he found himself nodding. 

“And you found something? Something big?”

“Yes,” he breathed out. 

Eliza leaned into his touch. “Am I safe?” 

“You are. And if someone ends up trying to hurt you, I’m going to be right here, protecting you.”

She collected all of her strength to sit up. “I heard you and Foggy argue,” she admitted. 

“Oh no…”

“I’m not mad at you.” It was her turn to reach out and touch his face. “I could never be. I was disappointed, but I understand, which is probably why it hurt me so much because our lives… they’re that messy. We’re not normal, not entirely human, and that’s what makes this so hard. You had a choice and you made the decision that you felt safest with, and I could never be mad at you for that, Matthew. I love you,” she said.

Her words lifted the weight off his shoulder that tore him down all night. They made him forget for only a moment what had gone down, what he encountered, and what he knew now. He pushed all of that aside, closed his eyes, and leaned into the soft touch of her hand, his haven. 

Matt sniffled, swallowing his tears. “I love you,” he repeated and she smiled. He could feel her facial muscles move under his hand, and the light in her eyes told him it was a genuine smile. But there was something not quite right. Her muscles quivered as they tried to hold onto the stress that she had not been able to shake off, too scared of breaking down, too scared of losing herself. 

He moved closer, following his instincts, and placed his hand on the back of her head, ready to catch her. “Are you okay?” he asked again, his voice sounding even softer than before, and his eyes were a silent ‘go ahead’ for her to let out what she needed to. Because Matt could always tell when something was wrong, and this was one of the occasions where it just got too much. 

Eliza had bottled everything up, needing him to hold her, to support her, to help her get rid of the demons that took the opportunity to infiltrate her mind again when she was at her weakest. She bit her lip. Slowly, she shook her head. 

“He’s dead,” she said, her voice cracking halfway through. “And I don’t feel bad. I wish I did, but I don’t.”

“You’re just glad it’s over?”

She nodded. “Matt, I’m… I’m not okay.”

He used the hand he had positioned on the back of her head to draw her close. “I know,” he said.

She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling her face into his neck, and finally, the tears began to fall. What started as small raindrops transformed into an ocean. 

Matt held her through it. The sound of her quiet yet gentle sobs pushed all the buttons in him that he tried to keep hidden. A tear ran down his cheek, mingling with hers. He tightened his embrace, wanting to keep her safe, wanting to shield her from the pain that seemed to hold the guillotine over her head. 

“You don’t have to be okay,” he whispered. 

“Why does this always happen to me?” she cried. “Why can’t I just have one good thing? Why does God keep taking it away from me? How can he… if he’s real, why is he so cruel? What did I do to him?”

The cracks in his heart deepened further. His arms formed a bubble around them, but even the bubble was filled with pain. He desperately searched for an answer, he prayed to God for an answer, but there was none. Even Matt couldn’t understand why it kept happening. They both came from a broken childhood and they survived hell to get where they were now, but whenever he thought back on what Eliza went through, it broke his heart knowing that every time she had felt even remotely happy, someone took it away from her. She never had anything that was truly hers, let alone peace and happiness, and as he held her in his arms now, he felt even sadder to know that the same thing had happened again, tearing a hole in all she had built for herself after losing herself several times before. This time though, he wouldn’t let it get this far. Not again. 

He pulled back slightly. “You didn’t do anything,” he assured her. “You didn’t deserve any of this. This isn’t the work of God, this is the work of a power that’s stronger than any of us. I don’t understand it either, I wish I did, but you’re one of the strongest people I know. If anyone can survive this, it’s you.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I’m so tired, Matt. I’m so tired of being in pain. It hurts.” Her entire body shuddered with the earthquake of her emotions. He watched her resolve break without even seeing anything, and there she was, vulnerable and bare in front of him. She felt so fragile in his hands. “It feels like everything I touch turns to dust,” she said. “That’s not fair.”

“You’re right, it’s not fair.”

“I can’t…” Another wave of sobs tore through her. 

He held her close again, shushing her. “Breathe,” he told her. “Just breathe. I’ve got you.”

She clung to him, burying her head in his shoulder. She focused on his heartbeat, on his breathing, just like they had practiced. His arms caught her as she fell, and although she was already bruised and broken on the floor, he started picking up the pieces with every single touch. She focused solely on Matt and eventually, the tears started to subside and she was left with merely the aftershocks.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. 

“For what, sweetheart?”

“Just… everything.”

“You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Nothing,” he said and grabbed her face with both of his hands, “you understand?”

She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, sniffling. “I just wish I could escape this,” Eliza said. 

“I promise you, right here, right now, that we are going to find a way.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I know us,” he gave a soft smile, “and I know we can conquer anything.”

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. “You promise?” she asked. 

Matt nodded, “I promise.”

Brushing her nose against his, she leaned forward ever so slowly and pressed her lips against his. He kisses back as gently as he possibly could, afraid of hurting her, afraid of breaking her. His fingers brushed her cheek and she leaned closer. 

He pulled back to press his lips to her cheek and then her forehead, stroking her hair back in the process. To that, she let out a contented sigh. 

“I’m sorry for leaving,” he broke the silence with his words.

She shook her head. “You don’t have to apologize. I just want you to be okay.” Eliza looked up. “Are you hurt?”

Matt chuckled softly, pressing another kiss to her forehead. “No,” he said.

“You sure? Show me your fists.”

Flipping his hand around, he showed his knuckles. She brushed over the reddened skin. There were tinges of blood in small cracks from where the gloves had rubbed against the back of his hand. 

She got up, stalking over to the first-aid kit on the dresser, and returned with some disinfectant and a bandage. He hissed when the alcohol went into the wound. She smoothed the bandage over it, kissing his knuckles through the white fabric.

He smiled. “Thank you.”

“Of course. The blood on your cheek…” Eliza reached out.

“Not mine,” he said. 

She nodded. “That means you can tell me what happened.”

“It’s late, sweetheart.”

“I’m already awake and knowing you, you won’t be able to sleep anytime soon.” 

He nodded. He had to tell her eventually. After overhearing the argument, he couldn’t slip anything past her, it seemed.

“Help me out of my suit and I’ll tell you.”

“Okay.”

She carefully helped him out of the constricting leather. Her eyes traveled over the scars that adorned his marble skin and she felt herself instinctively run her fingers over the jagged skin. Matt shivered under her touch. She pressed her lips to the scars on his back, squeezing his bicep lightly. 

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she hugged him. “You’re still the most beautiful person out there,” she murmured against his cold skin, her breath offering a cold contrast and causing the hairs on his body to rise. 

He smiled softly. “You flatter me,” he said. 

“Only because you deserve it.”

They settled into bed shortly after. Matt got dressed and joined her, each holding a cup of tea and a plate of fruit between them. It wasn’t often they ate in bed, but the circumstances required something that would offer some solace, and eating a late-night snack while sipping tea in bed together, legs intertwined while also facing each other felt like the right thing to do after the troubles they faced. 

The serenity was disrupted by Eliza clearing her throat. “I thought about the shooting. A lot,” she admitted. 

Matt tilted his head in her direction, his eyes soft. “You did?” he asked. 

“Yeah, and there’s something very suspicious about the whole thing. The range of the shot… if the police haven’t found him by now, they’re probably still struggling to figure out from where the shots were fired. He must have been very high and very far away, and there’s only a handful of people who have the training to deliver that kind of shot. Hydra Agents, SHIELD Agents, assassins, and-”

“Military,” they said at the same time. 

She nodded. “Exactly.”

“I questioned Turk. It’s the guy that deals weapons and drugs down by the docks and I’ve put him behind bars a couple of times before. He’s out on parole right now, which is why I thought I’d visit him. He knows things. Hell’s Kitchen is his territory. He’s the one who told me Fisk or Hydra had nothing to do with this. He didn’t sell any long-distance rifles, and from what I heard, the same kind of weapons have been used in the shootings that have been killing gang members all over the city. Turk doesn’t sell them. He says they were military-issued. The same kind of gun suggests the same perpetrator…”

“So what, soldier gone rogue? A new gang raging war on all the others? What?”

“That’s the thing. It’s not a gang. It’s not a war. It’s a warzone, but we are far from a gang war because whoever did this… it was one man.”

Eliza’s frown deepened. “What?”

“I went to ask some of Turk’s customers about what’s been happening, and they told me the same thing we heard when we busted up that layer a couple of weeks ago. You know, the one with the Chitauri weapons?”

“Oh, that one,” she said. “Yeah, I remember. The guy said something about gang members dropping like flies. That’s still happening?”

Matt nodded. “It’s bigger than we thought. A lot of smaller gangs have already been eradicated, but no one’s talking about it, and there’s so much crime in Hell’s Kitchen, it completely evaded me,” he said. The guilt stood written all over his face and she reached out, taking his hand in hers. 

“This is not your fault,” she squeezed his hand, “I mean it. You can’t be everywhere at once. I told you that. Foggy told you that. Not everything is your fault all the time, stop saying that.”

He huffed in frustration. “I know, I’m sorry, I just…” he shook his head. “It’s one man, Eliza. One man. They directed me to a low-level drug dealer, but by the time I got there, someone had impaled him on a metal rod. He was hanging off the wall. I… I tried to save him, but he bled out in my arms. He told me it’s just one man. He’s killed gangs and drug dealers and he shot Viktor today. He’s enforcing justice by killing people all over the city. One single man and I didn’t know, I didn’t even realize.”

Her thumb rubbed soothing circles over the back of his hand, although her mind started working in high gear. One man. Several shootings. Several deaths in the criminal community, and then Viktor. A strange silhouette in her hospital room. Her not being the target. 

She repeated the same words he had just told her back to him, “One man?” she said. 

“One man,” said Matt. 

Her breath hitched and her heart stopped for a second only for it to start beating twice as fast. She held his hand tighter, not realizing she was doing it, and he returned the gesture. His unfocused eyes moved around, seemingly roaming her face as she focused on one of the moles on his shoulder. 

One man. 

“Did you get a name?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. 

“Not a name as much as an alias,” he matched the tone of her voice. 

“What is it?”

It seemed as if he had finally found her face because she could feel the brown of his reaching into her soul, keeping her frozen in place. “The Punisher,” he told her. 

“The what now?”

“Eddie called him The Punisher .”

The silhouette moved back into the forefront of her mind. One man. The Punisher. The pieces started falling into place. The puzzle piece had finally found its spot in the big picture. 

Noticing the change in her heartbeat, Matt turned her hand around and started drawing a heart in the palm of her hand before tapping it three times, then moving on to her wrist. “What’s wrong?” he asked eventually, sensing the hesitation in her demeanor. 

He felt her pulse under her skin, the steady thudding that had switched into a rhythm he recognized from the times she tried to lie to him but failed miserably. It was the tune of an uneasy heart, one that was scared but too afraid to admit that she was. Eliza didn’t often get scared, so the subtle hints of fear in the way she carried herself caused Matt to grow suspicious. Not in a bad way, he simply worried. 

“What happened back at the hospital?” his voice was soft, but the question struck a chord. He heard it loud and clear. The uptick of her heartbeat, the subtle intake of breath - he had struck a nerve. 

“Eliza,” Matt urged again, more serious this time. “Talk to me,” he said. 

Eliza shuddered, turning her gaze away. 

“Sweetheart, please.”

She started tapping her fingers against her arm at a beat that he recognized. She was trying to cope, trying to distract herself from a looming feeling inside her chest, but she wasn’t succeeding. 

After a moment of silent contemplation, the gentle touch on her wrist got too much. He only had to tap three more times for her to burst. “There was someone in my room when I woke up,” she blurted. 

Matt stiffened. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Someone went into my room while I was sleeping, and when I woke up I saw a shadow. And I thought it was just a product of my imagination, but…”

“But what?” he questioned.

“I could feel a presence in that room. I could feel the wind as the person was leaving. After what you said, I… I think I didn’t imagine it. Someone went into my room, watched me sleep, and then left as soon as I woke up.”

He processed it. The words didn’t sound right. The guilt crashed into him. He hadn’t been there and someone managed to slip into Eliza’s room unnoticed. By trying to keep her safe he might have done the exact opposite. Foggy had been right; Matt should have stayed. He should have stayed and watched over her because, at her side, he could have protected her. 

His eyebrows furrowed, his jaw clenched and he dropped her hand. She gasped when he rose from the bed, walking over to where he had left his suit. 

“Don’t,” she said.

“No! Running around, murdering people, that’s one thing. Shooting Viktor is one thing,” Matt said. “But coming for you? That’s a line he shouldn’t have crossed!” 

“Matt, please. Don’t. You don’t even know what you’re looking for.”

“I’ll figure it out.” 

In his anger, he struggled to find the zipper of his suit. Eliza used that to her advantage and jumped out of bed, stepping in front of him and sternly tearing the leather from his hands. His wild eyes stared at her and she stared back, holding his gaze that didn’t quite meet hers. “Matthew,” she said firmly.

The call of his name made him drop the rest of the suit he was holding. 

“Matthew, my love, stop. Stop, okay?” She gently cradled his face in her hands. “You’re not thinking straight. I know you’re angry and I get that you want to find this Punisher guy, but this is not the way. The sun is about to come up and we’re both exhausted. We know what we’re looking for, but we need to be smart about how we’re going to do it, so please… please, listen to me and take a deep breath.”

His eyes fluttered close, his nostrils flaring with the deep breaths that brought the oxygen back into his lungs. Her thumbs stroked his cheeks and he shivered, holding onto her elbows for support. He was putty in her hands. 

Her hands traveled down to his neck, pulling him down to her height to press a kiss to his cheek, and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. Matt wasted no time burying his face in her neck, breathing in the mixture of scents that coated her body. Her heartbeat brought him back to earth, removing the red towel from his fiery vision and calming him down to a point where his muscles finally stopped throbbing with anger. 

Eliza ran her fingers through his hair. “We’ll figure this out tomorrow,” she whispered. “But not tonight. Please not tonight. I can’t… today was a lot. I just need a second to breathe. No Viktor, no Hydra, no Fisk, and not this guy… just us. A few hours. Please.”

Matt exhaled a shaky breath, holding onto her tighter, pressing her body tighter to his own. “Yeah,” he caved, his voice bordering on a silent whisper, “we can do that.”

“Thank you,” she sighed in relief. 

He loosened his grip enough to switch the position, lifting her effortlessly and carrying her back to bed. He put the plate away, the barely touched food long forgotten, and joined her, laying back against the pillows. His arms opened and she crawled into them, lying atop him. She could hear his heart beating in her ear as she placed her head on his chest. Matt wrapped his arms around her, cradling her to his body, his grip tight enough to keep her there forever. He held her as if he was scared she might slip away at any moment. 

Nuzzling his nose in her hair to get as much of her as he could, he sighed. “I love you,” he said. 

She lifted her head and met his lips. “I love you too,” she said before lying back down, enjoying the feeling of his fingers painting beautiful landscaped on her scalp that she couldn’t quite understand, his heart speaking a foreign language only she could speak. 

To the distinctive melody of his heart, she felt herself getting drowsy again, reminding herself that she deserved a few more hours of rest before her world would twist and turn into a mess again. 

[alouisewrites]

If you fancy reading an extremely smutty, cracky age gap Nick & Charlie Oneshot.. Check the link! Based on the viral British Teatime Alarm!

[starboye]

movies

(fics ive made)

*updated regularly

smut = ★

angst = 🏹

fluff = 🍥

Rafe Cameron-

First Timer★

Dealer!Rafe Cameron★

The Cameron Boys★

A Night to Remember★

Please be Mine★

Satisfaction★

Sleepy Convos★

Risky Call★

Morning Rafey★

Jj Maybank-

Yard Worker!Jj Maybank★

Double Team★

Nate Jacobs-

jealousy, jealousy★🏹

brat★

A Feeling Unknown🍥

My Cum Toy★

Nick Nelson-

Cheater★🏹

Cheater pt2★🏹

Cheater pt3★🏹

Cheater pt4🏹

Charlie Bushnell-

Fair Date★🍥

Vinnie Hacker-

Streamer Head★

Drunk Fun★

Sly Boy★

Birthday Present★

Bryce McKenzie-

Addicted★

Kj Apa-

Model★

Breed Me★

Free Use★

Baby By Me★

Matt Sturniolo-

Beach Day🍥

Morning Horny★

Quickie★

Movie Night Teaser★

My Nerdy Boy★

First Time★

Harry Collett-

Video game Lover★

Charles Leclerc-

Need Love★

Chris Sturniolo-

Gamer🍥

Movie Night Gone Right★

You're Mine★

Overstimulation★

Stream Tease★

David Corenswet-

Daddy's Boy★

Manu Rios-

Work For It★

Harry Styles-

Make Up or Make Out★🍥

Ross Lynch-

Double Trouble★

Dylan Minnette-

Double Trouble★

Shower Time★

Steve Rogers-

First Date★🍥

The Boys-

Table Talk★

Drew Starkey-

Hot Jealousy★

An Award of my Own★

Your Brothers Best Friend★

Nico Greetham-

Sweaty Love★

Noah Beck-

Rough Love★

Chris Hemsworth-

My Boy★

John B-

Double Team★

Prince Henry-

My Good Side🍥

Ryan Reynolds-

Tease★

Brady Hepner-

Wild Side★

My Use★

Sam Golbach-

Newly Weds★🍥

Colby Brock-

Newly Weds★🍥

Tanner Buchanan-

Edged★

Chris Evans-

Lesson Learned★

Ryan Garcia-

Breakfast in Bed★

Ethan Landry-

Ghost 🏹

Eijiro Kirishima-

Gamer Fuel★

Katsuki Bakugo-

Gamer Fuel★

Jacob Elordi-

Free Use★

Jack Harlow-

A Want★

Scott Summers-

Time Fucked★

Stiles Stilinski-

A Dream Cum True★

Richard Madden-

Work Pet★

Steve Harrington-

Gay For You★

Hughie Campbell-

Shy Boy★

Bellamy Blake-

Supply Collectors★

Jensen Ackles-

Hard Worker★

Prince Ben-

New Kid★🍥

Harry Hook-

New Kid★🍥

Rudy Pankow-

My First Time★🍥

Simon "Ghost" Riley-

Bf Headcanons★🍥

Phone Sex★

A Gift★

Captain Price-

Bratty★

Chace Crawford-

Co-Star Fun★

Bill Skarsgard-

Affair★

Dick Grayson-

Wounds★🏹

Robby Keene-

Winner Winner★

Noah Centineo-

Bed Breaker★

Jake Gyllenhaal-

Spiderman Far From Done★

Tom Holland-

Spider Man Far From Done★

Wolverine-

Fucked Senseless★

Hole Used★

Deadpool-

Hole Used★

Joe Goldberg-

My Husband🏹

Lip Gallagher-

New Feeling🍥

Rome Flynn-

My Bitch★

Joe Burrow-

Letting Off Some Steam★

Charles Melton-

Gym Bros★

[kaalee]

This one was *everything* 🧜‍♂️ 🌊🩵

Second part of the Charlie pov.

We spend some time with Charlie and his friends. And then just with Charlie.

(warning: contains merman smut 🧜🏼‍♂️🔥)

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith

Chapter 6: A Deal with the Devil

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: Matt, Foggy, and Karen take you out to Josie's. Your night always ends with Daredevil.

Warnings for this chapter: very mild smut at the end, sorry to leave you guys hanging, LOL.

A/N: I love writing Foggy Nelson. That is all.

TAG LIST (please let me know if I missed you/you'd like to be tagged!): @starry-night-20 @sumsytee @queerqueenlynn

Chapter 5 here

credit to gif owner!

 Hell’s Kitchen

Nelson & Murdock was an interesting law firm to work at. There was no rhyme or reason to the things they did or the way they operated, but you adapted fairly quickly to the revolving door of clients and how to speak to them. For now, Karen had you complete intake forms with everyone who came in. Greet them, ask them why they’re here, things like that. You enjoyed it a lot. 

“Thank you so much, Ms. Cruz,” you squeezed the elderly woman’s arm. “I’ll get your case details in our system and set up a meeting with either Mr. Nelson or Mr. Murdock.”

The older woman smiled at you graciously. “Gracias, señorita.” 

You stood up from your chair and walked over to Karen who fervently typed away at her computer. 

“Okay, all ten of the clients waiting are now ready to be inputted into the system,” you told her, holding a stack of manila folders and a clipboard. Karen looked up from her desk surprised. 

“Really?! You are amazing!” Karen exclaimed. You blushed and smiled at her, appreciating her praise. “I’ll have to get you your own laptop so you can learn how the system works. Seriously, how did you get through all of them without any issues?” 

You shrugged, “good old speaking like a human. I was never good with a customer service voice. It’s all about the approach, you know?” 

“Yes!” Karen smiled. “I’m so happy you’re here. I know Foggy and Matt are, too.” 

You smiled in return. You believed her, that she and Foggy were happy you were here. Matt, on the other hand, was a little strange. You didn’t want to make any assumptions, and you tried to be understanding. But he was very quiet around you, and never really tried to make any conversation like Karen and Foggy did. You found yourself going to them for questions first before you ever had to ask Matt something, which rarely happened. He was intimidating. The most you ever got out of him was an “excuse me” or “good morning.” Never anything more, never anything less. 

While the other two were very bright and bubbly, Matt seemed to always be in his own world. He didn’t join in any conversations you had with them, and he never offered help as Foggy did. You didn’t mind; you were just worried it might have been you he didn’t like. Then again, he was blind, so you knew his world was very different from your own. You didn’t let it get to you, and you just accepted that he was more guarded than the others. 

Karen flipped through the pages of clients you had just interviewed. Her brows were furrowed—her mind was going a million miles a minute. 

“Looks like this pile will be handled by Matt and this one, Foggy. Looks like Matt’s the winner today,” she realized. “I’ll give these to Foggy and run it by him. You can talk to Matt about his cases.” 

“Oh, uh, you sure? I…,” you trailed off, unsure what it was you were trying to object to. Your gaze fell toward Matt’s office. He was at his desk, brows furrowed with focus as his fingers ran over braille. 

Karen looked at you knowingly. “I know Matt’s quiet, but trust me, it’s not you. He’s just a little bit more focused at work. Not that we’re all not focused, but his focus is a little different.” 

You nodded, “I understand. I’ll run these cases by him.” 

“Let me know if you need anything, alright?” 

I need a drink, you thought. “Okay.” 

You turned on your heel and held the manilla folders in your hands, bracing yourself. You took a deep breath and walked to Matt’s office door, and knocked on it gently. 

“Come in,” he called out. 

You slowly opened the door and walked inside, gently shutting it behind you. 

“It’s me, __,” you announced slightly awkwardly. Matt smiled a little, behind his dark red glasses. 

“I know,” he replied, “I can recognize voices.” 

“Oh,” you said, nodding your head. Damn it, he can’t see a nod. “I—well, Karen said I should run by these new clients with you. I don’t know what she meant by it, but she said you’re the winner today.” 

“Hmm,” Matt hummed. “Means most of the cases are intentional torts. Please, sit,” he said in a friendly tone. Slightly caught off guard by his kindness, you sat in the chair in front of his desk. This conversation is the most you’ve spoken with Matt ever since you started just a few weeks ago. A memory popped into your head. You had shared an awkward encounter with Matt as he was leaving work one day—you asked if he needed help closing up anything but he was in a rush, and barely replied to you as he rushed out the door. 

“So, the first person I spoke with, Anna Campbell, has a claim her neighbor is taking pictures of her in her house…uh…” you flipped through the pages and cleared your throat. “Negligent employer case…assault outside of a club that may have been intentional and not a random crime of opportunity…” You read through the rest of the clients you just spoke with and watched Matt carefully for any reaction. He sat like a statue, with his brows scrunched and lips slightly pressed together, as he listened to you. His hands were together, fingers interlocked. You continued to speak. 

“Ms. Marisol Cruz. She was such a sweet woman. I feel really bad for her. She’s in a terrible apartment complex, with a high criminal element, and the landlord won’t listen or do anything about it. There are kids in the place, and she’s worried about them,” you explained Ms. Cruz’s story in more detail to Matt, since you felt a little more compassionate to her. You probably weren’t supposed to, but you couldn’t help it. “Her landlord says he needs proof of the element, or he won’t do anything. And she’s a frail woman, and she can’t do anything.”  

Matt stayed quiet for a moment longer. 

“Thank you, __,” Matt said after a bit. You smiled. 

You placed the files on his desk. 

“Oh,” you said, startling yourself, “you probably need these translated to braille. I’ll transfer them with the printer.” 

Matt smiled and stood up from his desk. His hands rested on his waist. Maybe the reason why you were so intimidated by Matt was because of how handsome you found him. His dress shirt fit snugly on his body, and the rare moments you did catch his smile, made your heart flutter more than you’d like to admit. 

“I appreciate that,” he cooly said. 

“Okay well, I’ll get on that now.” You turned to exit his office, but he called your name rather softly. 

“Just—just a word of advice,” he began to say, “I know it may be easy to feel more compassionate for some cases more than others. That can be a good thing. But it can also be dangerous. Don’t take the work home with you, is what I’m trying to say.” 

You considered his words for a moment and nodded in understanding. 

“I won’t,” you replied, “I promise.” 

He smiled lightly before sitting back down again. You left his office.

⣿⣿⣿⣿

After a busy afternoon at Nelson & Murdock, you found yourself in the conference room, transferring all the files you had today into the system they used. You were focused as you input all the information, listening to music as you did. Suddenly, Foggy came into the room. 

“There she is, the superstar client coordinator!” Foggy announced with a clap. You pulled your headphone out of your ear and smiled at him. Foggy had a way of radiating warmth and vibrant energy—you loved working with him. “I heard you got through everyone pretty quickly.” 

“I did!” you said, “it was quite enjoyable. I like talking to people and listening to them.” 

“That’s good. Great! Well, I came in here because, it’s six o’clock, Friday night, and you’re still working,” Foggy analyzed, rubbing his chin. “Aren’t you crazy kids supposed to be getting in all sorts of trouble?” 

You laughed, and then Karen came into the room. 

“She’s not a crazy kid, Foggy,” she defended, “she’s a bright, intelligent young woman who is bound to do great things in life.” You smiled at Karen. 

“I know, I know. But seriously, you’re still working?!” 

You shrugged, “I’m waiting for the okay to go home! Besides, I don’t want to leave anything unfinished.”

“Well, you've been doing so well. We wanted to show our thanks in the only way we know how—Josie’s!” Foggy raised a finger in the air. 

“Josie’s?” You questioned.

“It's a dive bar in the Kitchen we like to go to,” Karen explained. “We’d love to take you out and celebrate. Of course, if you don’t already have plans.” 

The only plan you could think of involved a man in a black mask and your rooftop—but you didn’t say that. 

“I don’t have any plans, actually,” you answered, straightening up a bit. “I’d love to join you guys at Josie’s!” You leaped at the opportunity to get to know Karen and Foggy more. And—Matt just walked in. 

“I’m heading out,” Matt said, in his usual serious tone. You hated how your heartbeat picked up at the sight of him, with his cane in his hand and bag on his shoulder. Part of you was disappointed he wouldn’t join you at Josie’s. 

“Oh, come on, Matt,” Foggy sighed. “You owe us one! Last time, you promised next time. You’re coming out, buddy!” 

“Yeah, come on, we’re taking __ out!” Karen added. You pressed your lips together, awaiting his response. Matt sheepishly smiled. 

“Alright,” he reluctantly agreed, after a short while. 

“Atta boy,” Foggy patted his back. You began to clean up your workspace as Foggy and Karen left the room. Matt lingered in the doorway, leaning against the frame. You watched him carefully as you gathered your things. You went to the bathroom to fix your appearance. Your hair was still styled, more or less, when you curled it this morning. You straightened your button-down white shirt that was tucked into your black slacks. You sprayed on your marshmallow-scented perfume and decided this was as good as it was going to get. 

Exiting the bathroom, Matt still stood in the doorway but now Foggy and Karen joined him; they were waiting for you. 

“Ready,” you stated.

“Huzzah!” Foggy exclaimed. 

⣿⣿⣿⣿

Josie’s

Josie’s wasn’t too far from the office. You stayed walking with Karen while Foggy and Matt walked slightly ahead, Matt holding onto Foggy’s elbow as his cane tapped in front of him. When you saw the buzzing red light that read JOSIE’S in the window, it was obvious you reached the destination. 

“Before we enter, we must knight __ for this is her first time at Josie’s, which is a special event, indeed,” Foggy spoke in a British accent. Matt laughed, flashing the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on him. It made sense: if there was one person who could crack him open, it was Foggy Nelson. You had a feeling tonight you’d learn about their history. 

After Foggy “knighted” you, he opened the door and you were immediately met with an intense smell of smoke, old wood, and sweat. Pool cues clacked and barstools groaned from years of being sat on. Someone spilled a pitcher of beer on the floor. It was overwhelmingly hot and stuffy in here—you rolled up your sleeves. 

“Welcome to Josie’s,” Karen smiled cheerfully. “What do you drink?” 

“Hmm,” you thought for a moment. “I’ll try a martini. Three olives.” 

“I don't know about that,” Foggy said, “the olives part. I would hold the olives.” 

“Alrighty, a martini, hold the olives.” 

“And what kind of shots do we want?” 

“…tequila?” You suggested. Foggy groaned. 

“Let’s see if I still got it. Four shots of tequila, please!” 

Foggy and Karen lingered by the bar, getting an older woman’s attention, whom you assumed was Josie. She had brown and gray hair and a slightly suspicious look. You stood holding your bag, looking around the place. Matt was so quiet, you didn’t realize he was standing next to you. 

“Should we find a spot to sit while they order?” You suggested casually. Matt turned his head in your direction, nodding slightly. 

“Lead the way,” he said. You mirrored what Foggy did earlier when he offered his arm for Matt to hold. You gently touched Matt’s arm with your elbow. You couldn’t tell if he was startled, but he was quite hesitant. However, he did latch gently to your elbow as if you were a piece of paper, and you walked him over to a table in the middle of the bar, close to the wall. He reached his hands out for the table and felt for it as he placed his briefcase on the chair. You wrapped the strap of your bag on your chair and sat a seat away from him, intentionally. 

“I’m sure this isn’t what you’re used to,” Matt suddenly spoke, trying to initiate conversation. You looked at him amused. 

“What do you mean?” You smiled. 

“I—,” he stuttered a bit, “I just mean kids your age probably go out to fancier clubs than this.” 

“I’m not a kid,” you gently corrected. “I may be fresh out of college but I’m sure I’m not that much younger than you guys.” 

“Sorry,” he said. “You’re right.” 

“And you’d be surprised…I can enjoy a dive bar every now and then. I actually think I like them better than what my friends and I are used to. You can at least have conversations at places like this.” 

“Then, why don’t you go to them more often?” 

“Whatever the majority vote is. I never luck out.” 

Suddenly, Foggy came with a tray of drinks while Karen carried over the shots. Foggy lined the drinks and shots up and returned the tray. Karen found her seat next to Matt while Foggy sat next to you. 

“To Nelson and Murdock’s newest and brightest!” Foggy cheered. Everyone took their shots. You felt the tequila burn down your throat as you grimaced. It was like no other tequila you had before. And you’ve had plenty. 

“Yeah,” Foggy agreed when he saw your reaction, “Josie’s got the hard stuff.” 

“Is that even tequila? It tasted like straight-up poison,” you shook your head. “Let’s get another round.” 

Foggy laughed, “I may not be able to keep up, but I’m up for the challenge!” 

⣿⣿⣿⣿

For some reason, spending time with Karen, Foggy, and Matt felt like you were being officially christened into their work group—you were officially a part of Nelson & Murdock. You wanted to pace yourself since you were with your bosses, but Foggy insisted on more shots and drinks—something you found hard to say “no” to. 

You learned that Matt and Foggy met at law school. Columbia, no less. Your dream school. Foggy promised he’d write you a stellar letter of recommendation when the time came. Matt agreed as well, to your surprise. 

“Really?” You asked. “You guys would do that for me?” 

“Of course, Young Padawan,” Foggy said in a Yoda voice. You laughed. “In all seriousness though, you’d kill it at Columbia. Right, Matt?” 

“Right,” Matt agreed, almost immediately. You were thankful he couldn’t see your blush, and everyone else was too drunk to notice. 

As the night went on, Foggy and Karen got up to dance and then challenged other bar-goers to a round of pool. Matt sat in his corner, his hand wrapped around a cold beer. At this point in the night, you ditched your button-down shirt and only wore your undershirt.

Although he was quiet, his presence was anything but. It was like he had some sort of force field around him; the closer you sat next to him, the more prone you were to be sucked into it. You made no attempts to get yourself away. You pretended to be engaged in watching Foggy and Karen play pool, shouting whenever Foggy hit a striped ball. 

Part of you wanted to join them, but the other part wanted to stay next to Matt. Maybe tonight was the icebreaker you needed to figure out why he was so different around you compared to everyone else. 

“Would you like another beer? I’ll go get another round,” you offered. 

“Oh uh, yes, please.” 

When you came back from the bar, you placed the beer in front of Matt and sat in the chair next to him. You clinked your glass on his. 

“Cheers,” you said quietly. 

Matt offered a small smile. “Cheers,” he returned. 

You glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 9 o’clock already. If you were home, you’d probably be getting ready to see Mike. You worried about missing him tonight. At least, you kept the burner phone he gave you in your bag. He’s only a call away but for emergencies. Pushing the thought away, you tried to be more present. Karen hit a striped ball and high-fived Foggy. The two men they were playing looked slightly disappointed in how good your bosses were doing. More people had filtered into Josie’s and it only grew more stuffy. 

“Thank you for the time you’ve put in with us,” suddenly Matt spoke. “It doesn’t go unnoticed, as you can see. Especially with Karen. I know she’s really happy with you here.” 

“I’m just as grateful for the opportunity,” you shrugged, feeling a warmth spread in your chest at his comment. On second thought, maybe the tequila was finally catching up to you. 

“Did you have any other places you were looking at?” 

“A few, but no one got back to me. I suppose getting a job at a firm in the city is harder than it looks." 

“Even Foggy and I struggled for a bit. We had a job at Landman & Zack lined up, but we ended up going on our own way. You’ll end up just where you’re supposed to be,” Matt said in a bit of a reminiscent way. You softened at his words. 

“You and Foggy seem like you’ve been through a lot together,” you observed, “it wasn’t always easy, was it?” 

Matt paused for a moment, and tilted his head—something you noticed over the past few weeks working with him. As if he was really considering your words and thinking of a way to respond. 

“It wasn’t,” he agreed, after a little while, “but if the people stay with you through the tough times, you know it was worth it. Or, you find a reason to make it worth it—for them.” 

You hummed in response. 

Matt took a sip of his beer. He listened as you got up from your seat to join Karen and Foggy after they called for you. 

⣿⣿⣿⣿

It was strange for him to talk to you like this in a public setting—as Matt Murdock, your boss, and not as “Mike”, your savior, as you called him. When you left your seat, he heard something ruffle in your bag—the phone he’d given you for emergencies. Good. She keeps it on her. 

He’d been avoiding you at the office and he knew you picked up on it after a few days. It was for the better, he thought. The more distance he kept from you there, the less likely it would be you’d put two and two together—if you could. It was to be cautious and to make sure his secret stayed a secret. You stayed his secret. Perhaps it wasn’t fair, perhaps it was lying, perhaps that was all true. Even if Matt wanted to reveal who he really was to you, there’s no guessing how you’d react. To put it simply, Matt dug himself even deeper the day Karen said she’d hire you and he didn’t make any effort to convince her to not. 

And the more he saw you at night, the more he couldn’t stay away. God, you were all-consuming to him. He found his new altar and it was your lips. His prayer, your name. Whatever the affair was, his new religion. It was cliche to say, but it was true: it felt so right with you. So right, and perfect, and whenever something so good falls into Matt Murdock’s lap, he always finds a way to convince himself he’s undeserving of it. He wants to be with you. He wants to keep you. But things are just so chaotically fucked up now, now that you work with him and he has to lie to you every day like he doesn’t want to pin you against the wall in his office and kiss your entire body. 

Matt clenched his jaw uncomfortably, pushing the thought away. That’s another reason why he must avoid you; to avoid thinking like this at work. It was hard enough that you were there. 

Being with you during the day was interesting. You were so different professionally, so polite and smart. Thoughtful, he decided. Nothing like the girl he came to see at night, who didn’t hold back a bite and wasn’t afraid of confrontation. He liked that girl just as much as the version he got at the office, though. It was like he was with two different people—and then he thought that he was basically playing two different people with you, too. Except, he realizes his unfair advantage. 

At the office, you were subtle with your actions—careful and alert. How you went out of your way to make sure documents were translated to braille for him, how you took your time with each client in the waiting room…yes, of course, Matt listened to you when you were with them. He always did. And quite frankly, he was impressed with how you carried yourself. Putting his feelings aside for you, and what it was that you shared, he truly thought you were a good employee—a promising future attorney. 

But God, was it hard to pretend to not know what your lips felt like. How hard it is for him to pretend he couldn’t care less when really, you’re all he cares about these days. 

And here you were, coming by his side again, and he has to put on the facade all over again—another mask, he thought ironically, to pretend around you. For the first time ever, he felt a heavy weight press on his heart. No, this wasn’t fair to you at all. 

“Hey, Matt,” you called for him, and he decided he loved to hear you call him by his real name. Your voice was lighter than it was before, actually lighter than it has been at the office, whenever you spoke to him. Maybe a night like tonight at Josie’s needed to happen—so Matt could feel more comfortable around you as Matt. He felt a wall crumbling inside him.  

“Yeah?” He answered. 

“We’re going to take one more round of shots and then step outside for fresh air. Are you in?” 

Matt smiled. 

“Yeah. I’m in.”

⣿⣿⣿⣿

12 AM 

Foggy hailed a cab for you to get home. You managed to get inside your apartment to find it empty, with nothing but a half-filled bottle of tequila on the counter and red solo cups. Your friends went out again, but you didn’t care. You were on cloud nine after tonight, having the best time with your new co-workers, and feeling better that maybe the one you were afraid of really liked you after all. 

And then, you thought of him. Mike. 

Would he be up there? It didn’t hurt to try… 

Before you stumbled up the steps to the roof, you changed into something a little more comfortable. Sweat shorts and a tank top. 

Now that summer was in full effect, nights remained humid. Your tank top stuck to the sweat on your skin. What were the chances of him actually coming tonight? 

Apparently, very likely. As you turned the corner, you jumped to see him already waiting for you, dressed in his usual black outfit—face covered. 

“Jesus,” You exclaimed and held your hand to your heart. 

“Language,” Mike said smugly as he stepped into the light. You smiled. 

“Don’t get all righteous on me now,” you teased, “I believe you are way past that.” 

Mike snaked a strong arm around your waist and pulled you into him. He kissed you softly and slowly—different from the way he normally kisses you, which was more ravenous in nature. You matched his nature, and placed your hands on either side of his face, holding him steady as you kissed. 

When you pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, breathing heavily. 

“You’re quiet again,” you breathed. “Why?” 

“You make me feel calm,” he told you. The way his lips moved when he spoke was mesmerizing, inviting you to kiss him again. You did. You teased your tongue on his bottom lip. Mike groaned faintly. 

“Calm isn’t something I’m used to,” Mike continued, chasing your lips with a kiss. “And when I feel something I’m not used to, but that I like, those things tend to slip from my grasp just as I got a good hold on them.” 

You contemplated his words for a moment and realized what he meant. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” you truthfully said. “I…like what we have.” 

“But,” Mike guided, knowing you had more to say. 

“But… most people in affairs know who exactly they’re dealing with.” 

Mike turned his masked face away from you. You knew that was the only answer you’d get. 

“Not yet,” he spoke quietly, “I can’t reveal myself yet.” 

“But why? You think I’ll think you’re ugly?” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but you realized you even failed yourself. The more you got in deeper with Mike, the more it hurt, knowing this was all you’d get out of him: late nights on your rooftop, kisses you’d never experienced with anyone else—feelings you didn’t know you could feel so intensely that it felt like your mind suffocated with thoughts of him. Him. You didn’t even know who he was. But he had you in the palm of his hand. 

“Do you want to stop? With this, with me?” He asked ardently. 

“What kind of question is that? No, I don’t want to stop seeing you,” you argued. “Do you want to stop?” 

“No,” he replied almost instantly. “But we should reach an agreement on this. You have to be okay with me not being ready to reveal myself. And you have to know that my not revealing myself has nothing to do with how I feel about you and how much I trust you.” 

“How do you feel about me?” You couldn’t help but ask him. The corner of his mouth twitched upward. 

“Like I’ve never felt for anyone before,” Mike whispered and kissed you, deeply, slowly again. “Just give me the time I need.” 

“Okay,” you agreed. “You’ve got a deal. As long as you keep coming to me.” 

“I’ll never stop,” Mike promised. 

You ran your hands along his strong torso. You could feel the sweat under his shirt. You slid your hands under his shirt and felt his skin—soft, and… scarred. You gasped as your fingers traced along a gash, that’s since healed. You felt another one on his rib cage and another on his chest. You gasped again. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s from another life.” 

“That’s… scary,” you said in a small voice. 

“Don’t worry about me,” he told you gently. “It’s different these days.”

“I don’t know what I’d do if I expected to see you one night and you didn’t come…”

“I’ll always come to you,” Mike stated. “Until there comes a day you don’t want me to.” 

“That day will never come, I can assure you that.” 

He kissed you more and ran his fingers through your hair, tugging a little so your neck was revealed to him. You shivered as he kissed along your neck, slowly, antagonizing. You ran your fingers along his back and closed your eyes. 

You didn’t want your nights to be anything but this. 

You lifted your left leg and he grabbed it to wrap around his waist, holding your back to steady you. He gently laid you on the ground. 

“Can I…take this off?” He asked, gesturing to your shorts. You laughed. 

“Will someone see us?” 

“No one will see us. They might hear you though.” 

“Take them off.” 

Mike slowly pulled your shorts and underwear off, and you were completely exposed to him in a dark corner of your roof. You wished you brought a blanket. Mike began to kiss your inner thighs, slowly, reaching closer up to your legs and your wetness. You let your mind drift off, thinking of the deal you’d just made with him. You weren’t completely truthful about being okay with not knowing who he is. But your connection and feelings for him were stronger than your fears of what could happen—you’d teach yourself to be okay with it. 

But your discomfort was quickly replaced with euphoria when you felt his lips kiss your sex, and his tongue began to lap at your wetness slowly and then urgently. You sighed blissfully, closing your eyes. You suddenly couldn’t care less about your worries. 

[cutecurly-hair]

Hearts Unleashed (Part 6)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 6,417

It has been a minute since I uploaded, but I made it up to yall by making this chapter a LOT longer. Enjoy!

"You don't know what you're talking about," I finished as I bit into my banana. Charlie rolled his eyes for the fifth time this morning, taking a bit of his breakfast sandwich and throwing the rest in the garbage.

"I swear your love life needs some proper tending to or it is just going to end up nonexistent,"

"How can you throw that away, I could have finished it for you," I protested, looking at banana resentfully. Mother only gives me fruits for breakfast or protein bars since she thinks having carbs first thing in the morning is terrible for the diet.

Charlie shook his head, his expression a mix of amusement "The sandwich was terrible, you wouldn't like it," which I knew was a lie.

"Ok enough about me, what about you! How are you and that guy you were talking with I completely forgot his name," Charlie face fell, quickly regretting on even asking.

Charlie scratched his head, a sheepish grin appearing on his face. "Um, actually, I decided to break things off."

I blinked, surprised by his response. "You did? Why?"

Charlie sighed; his expression somber. "It's just… things weren't working out between us. We wanted different things, and it was causing too much strain on the relationship. If there was even a relationship"

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said, genuinely feeling for him. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, though his smile was wistful. "Yeah, I'll be fine. It's for the best, really."

I reached out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. "If you need anything, I'm here for you, Charlie."

"Thanks, Y/N," he said, his voice appreciative. "I appreciate that." I knew something was up, he had that look on his face far too long, I can tell it's starting to eat him up badly.

As we walked towards the school gates, I noticed a gathering of the rugby team, and my heart sank as I recognized Nick among them. And standing right beside him was Imogen.

"Just when you think things couldn't get any worse," I muttered under my breath.

Charlie's expression darkened as he caught sight of them too. "Of all the days..."

I could feel Charlie's stare intensely at the side of my skull, his concern palpable. It was clear that seeing Nick and Imogen was the last thing I needed on top of everything else.

"Do you want to, you know, avoid them?" Charlie asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

I let out a resigned sigh. "I wish we could, but unfortunately I have practice with him after school." We haven't talked ever since that night, he hasn't messaged me, and I haven't messaged him. It seems that everything has been put on pause I swear this boy is just giving me a straight whiplash to Tara Jones and now Imogen.

"You can probably ditch," Charlie suggested, offering a glimmer of hope. "I'm sure Coach Singh won't mind, plus I can probably cover for you."

The thought of skipping practice tempted me, but then I remembered the inevitable consequence: being bombarded by my mother's relentless fitness regimen. She had been devouring articles on quick weight loss methods before spring started, and I wasn't ready to endure another lecture about healthy living.

I shook my head firmly. "Nope, I will definitely be at practice. I'll just head to the library and study while I wait for them to finish, then clean the locker room." he nodded in understanding.

"Thanks, Charlie," I said sincerely, feeling grateful for his support. But as I glanced over at Nick, I noticed him saying something to Imogen, causing her cheeks to flush with a bright smile. My mouth turned sour, and I quickly grabbed Charlie's arm, leading him through the gates.

"Let's go before we miss out on breakfast from the cafeteria," I urged, my tone a little more urgent than intended.

Charlie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But we just ate?"

I swallowed hard, my stomach tying into knots. "I'm still hungry,"

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

Anywhere else in the world would be better than this classroom right now. I sink into my seat, doing everything I can to avoid looking at the one person I wish I could avoid the most.

I should have just skipped school entirely

"Hi,"

I glanced up reluctantly, meeting Nick's gaze. His smile was warm, but it only intensified the knot in my stomach.

"Hi," I replied, keeping my tone neutral.

His brow furrowed slightly, sensing my unease. "Is everything okay?"

I forced a smile, hoping it looked convincing. "Yeah, everything's fine. Just not feeling great today."

There was a moment of hesitation in his expression before he spoke again, his voice softer this time. "Do you want to go to Harry's party... with me?"

My heart skipped a beat at his unexpected invitation. I blinked, caught off guard "I don't think it's my type of thing and if it's for Harry definitely count me out," The guy was just a straight up asshole, there is nothing that can make me like that man, especially with the awful things he says.

"Please come. I want you to be there," he looked at me hopefully, and I couldn't ignore the sincerity in his eyes. It almost hurt to see him like this, his vulnerability making me soften.

"Okay," I smiled sheepishly, feeling a little guilty for giving in so easily. I could practically feel Charlie's eyes boring into the side of my head, likely already knowing that I was about to agree.

---

"I can't believe you did that," Charlie sighed, shaking his head. "I swear, you have the willpower of a peanut."

I chuckled nervously, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my neck. "Yeah, well… he practically begged me. There's no way I could have said no."

Charlie raised an eyebrow, a skeptical look on his face. "Begged you, huh? Sounds like quite the convincing argument."

I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. "Well, you know Nick. He can be quite persuasive when he wants to be."

Charlie sighed, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "I swear, you're like putty in his hands."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help the small smile tugging at my lips. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. But I'm sure it'll be fine. Especially since you're coming with me."

Charlie raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Wait, what? I didn't agree to that."

I grinned, nudging him playfully. "Come on, Charlie. You can't let me face this party alone. Besides, it'll be more bearable with you there."

He sighed dramatically but smiled back. "Fine, I'll go. But only because I don't trust you to stay out of trouble on your own."

"Deal," I said, feeling a bit more confident about the party with Charlie by my side.

----------

The afternoon sun was beginning to set as Charlie and I rummaged through my closet, looking for something decent to wear to Harry’s party. My room was a mess, clothes strewn everywhere as we tried to find the perfect outfit.

Charlie held up a shirt, scrutinizing it before tossing it aside. “This one’s too plain. You need something that stands out.”

I groaned, flopping down on my bed. “I don’t even know why I agreed to this. Harry’s parties are always so... Harry.”

Charlie laughed, shaking his head. “Agree, but you’re doing this for Nick, remember? And besides, it’ll be good to get out and have some fun.”

I shot him a skeptical look. “You think hanging out with Harry and his crowd is fun?”

He thought for a moment, pulling out a vibrant top from the pile. "Absolutely not but we must preserve. But at least you won’t be alone. We’ll stick together.”"

I took the top from him, eyeing it critically. “Alright, I guess this could work. What about you? What are you wearing?”

He smirked, holding up a simple yet stylish outfit. “Already got it covered. Unlike you, I came prepared.”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “Show-off.”

Charlie threw a pillow at me, laughing. “Hey, someone’s got to keep us looking decent.”

As I changed into the outfit he picked, Charlie sat on the edge of my bed, giving me a thumbs-up when I emerged from behind the closet door. “See? You look great. Nothing to worry about”

Just then, Charlie's phone buzzed, and I noticed his smile falter as he looked at the screen.

"Shit!" he muttered under his breath.

I turned to him, concerned. "What’s wrong?"

"Tao and Elle just texted me about film night tonight! I completely forgot," typing furiously on his phone.

Trying to lighten the mood, I suggested, "Hey, why don't we invite Tao and Elle? Nick definitely won't mind."

Charlie shook his head, a wry smile playing on his lips. "Tao would rather be caught dead than step foot into one of Harry's parties."

I laughed, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, you're right. But it’d be nice to have them around."

Charlie sighed, glancing at his phone again. "It's fine. Elle's going over there, and Isaac called in sick. He'll be okay," he said, slipping the phone into his back pocket.

I could already tell I was at the very top of Tao's shit list, and it wasn’t about to get any better.

We were halfway out the door when my mom's voice rang out, stopping us in our tracks.

"Do you kids need a ride?" she asked, looking up from her magazine with a hint of concern in her eyes.

I shook my head, forcing a smile. "No, thanks. Charlie's dad already offered to give us a lift."

"Alright then," she said, her gaze sweeping over my outfit. I can feel the eyes pouring at every single detail of what I was wearing, I knew she wouldn't say anything infront Charlie, she wouldn't do that to me "But honey, make sure to suck in your stomach. It looks a little chubby."

I was wrong

My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I forced a smile. "Got it, Mom."

Charlie gave me a sympathetic glance, his eyes full of understanding. "Ready?" he asked, trying to shift the mood.

"Yea," I replied, taking a deep breath, rushing out the door. "Let's get out of here."

As we stepped outside, the cool evening air hit my face, and I felt a mix of relief and lingering embarrassment. Charlie nudged me playfully.

"Don't let it get to you," he said with a grin. "You look great."

I smiled, grateful for his support. "Lets have some fun."

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ +

"Pick up at 10, okay?" Mr. Spring said, glancing back at us in the rearview mirror.

I nodded absentmindedly, my attention drawn to the enormous house outside. The place was massive had Harry really rented out an entire hotel? Just how rich was he?

Charlie’s voice broke through my thoughts. "Can't it be 11?" he pleaded, looking at his dad hopefully.

"No, 10 is late enough," Mr. Spring replied firmly.

Charlie sighed, looking defeated as he got out of the car. "Fine," he muttered.

I quickly followed suit, turning back to say goodbye to Mr. Spring. "Thanks for the ride!"

"Have fun, you two!" he called after us as we stepped into the cool evening.

The smell of cheap perfume and artificial vape flavors filled my nose. There was a long line of people, and everywhere I looked, girls were squeezed into tight dresses, their faces caked with makeup. I started to wonder if we were at the right party. Thank God Charlie helped me pick out my outfit, or I would have stood out like a sore thumb.

Charlie nudged me with a grin. "I could have used your help back there, you know?"

I shot him a flabbergasted look. "You're crazy if you think I was going to argue with your dad."

Charlie laughed, shaking his head. "Fair enough. But you owe me one."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get inside before I change my mind."

We joined the line, inching our way forward as the music thumped louder with every step. The hotel loomed above us, lights flashing from every window, just from taking a peek inside I can definitely tell that Harry went all out.

We stepped inside, the noise and lights hitting us full force. People were everywhere, dancing, laughing, and shouting to be heard over the music. I didn't know which way to look; it was so crowded. Charlie grabbed the hem of my top so he wouldn't get lost in the crowd. My palms were starting to sweat.

The sheer volume of people and the pulsing music made my head spin. Charlie leaned close to my ear, his voice barely audible over the noise. "Let'd find somewhere quiet I can barely hear myself think."

I nodded, my heart pounding feeling the bass within my body. We pushed through the throng of people, dodging couples and groups of friends. Every corner seemed to hold a new spectacle: a group of girls taking selfies, a guy attempting an impressive but ultimately disastrous dance move. The flashing lights made my head feel fuzzy.

I was already overstimluted and I haven't been here for five minutes. "Do you want to get a drink?"

He nodded in agreement. "Good idea. I swear, did Harry invite the whole city?" Charlie looked frazzled; it seemed he wasn't doing any better than me.

We walked down a quieter hallway, only a few people milling about. "You stay here; I'll go get the drinks," Charlie said, glancing back at me with a smile.

I nodded gratefully, leaning against the wall to catch my breath, trying to ignore the overpowering smell of smoke and alcohol that filled my nose. Charlie disappeared into the crowd, and I took a moment to collect myself, looking at myself in the mirror. My curls seemed to be frizzing up from the humidity, and I quickly ran my fingers through them, trying to tame the wild strands.

Nearby, a table was filled with enough snacks and drinks to feed an army. I made my way over, deciding a quick bite might help settle my nerves. Mother would actually kill me if she saw me eating this stuff.

I grabbed a handful of chips and popped them into my mouth, the salty crunch grounding me a bit. I picked up a cup of the red liquid and took a gulp, but quickly grimaced at the terrible aftertaste.

Looking around the room, trying not to get knocked down by stumbling people who had clearly had enough to drink, I spotted a familiar face in the crowd. I could feel the heat rising in my face as I realized it was Nick.

Spotting me instantly, a look of relief filled his face. He started making his way through the crowd. "I have been looking for you!" we said in unison.

Even in the chaos of the party, I couldn’t help but notice how good he looked. His hair was perfectly tousled, and his smile lit up his eyes, making my heart skip a beat. He had this way of making me feel like I was the only person in the room. I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. No matter how overwhelming things got, just seeing him made everything easier.

Nick and I exchanged a warm smile, “How about we go grab a drink?” he suggested, his voice soft but somehow cutting through the noise.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I agreed, feeling a little more at ease with him by my side.

We made our way through the crowded room, and every time someone bumped into me, Nick would gently place his hand on my back, guiding me forward. It was such a small gesture, but I couldn’t ignore the tingling sensation it left behind.

Finally, we reached the drinks table, a mix of colorful concoctions laid out before us. Nick picked up a couple of cups, handing one to me with a playful grin. “I think this one’s safe,” he said, making me think back to that horrid red liquid from earlier.

I laughed, taking the cup from him. “Let’s hope so. I had one earlier, and I swear I thought it was roofied.”

He immediately looked concerned. "Sorry about that. I forgot how some of Harry's parties can get kind of crazy. I was even debating whether to come," he admitted, staring down at the red cup like it was the bane of his existence.

"It's alright, really," I reassured him. "It’s good to hang out with your friends."

Nick shrugged, a small, honest smile tugging at his lips. "Ehh, they're not my 'friends friends.' It's a lot more fun hanging out with you."

I tried not to let my surprise show, but his words caught me off guard. The idea that he’d rather spend time with me than his usual Rugby buddies made my heart flutter. “Really?” I asked, trying to keep my tone casual, though I could feel my face warming.

“Yeah, really,” he said, meeting my eyes with a sincerity that made my chest tighten. “I always have more fun when you’re around. Those guys are great, but they’re not...” he was trying to find the words

“Fun?” I offered with a teasing smile.

Nick’s eyes trailed off, lingering on mine for a moment longer before he nodded slowly. “Well, there’s never really a dull moment with you,” he said with a mischievous grin, “so I tend to keep you close. You know, just in case things get too boring I need someone to liven things up.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “So, I’m your emergency backup for fun?”

“Exactly,” he said, nodding with exaggerated seriousness. “In case this party sucks, I know who just to call .”

I playfully nudged him. “And here I thought you just enjoyed my company.”

“I do,” he said, leaning in slightly with a playful grin. “I just need someone to keep me entertained”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Well, I’m flattered to be your go-to for fun. I have to say, your backup plan is working pretty well tonight.”

Nick grinned, shaking his head. “I’m just glad that your here, I swear I barely know anyone here"

Trying to play it cool, even though I was secretly thrilled that Nick was happy to see me, we made our way to a quieter corner of the party. We found a spot away from everything, where we could actually sit and talk without having to shout over the music.

"You know," Nick started with a grin, "I’ve been forcing my mum to play Mario Kart ever since you absolutely destroyed me at that game. Thought I might finally get a win somewhere."

I burst out laughing, nearly spilling my drink. "You’re practicing with your mom? That’s dedication! Even for you?"

"I'm being serious," Nick replied, his tone earnest. "I’ve never seen anyone play that good. You completely embrassed me"

I grinned, feeling a bit of pride. "Well, I’m glad I could leave such an impression. Guess all those hours of practice paid off."

Nick shook his head, still looking amazed. "You don’t understand. I’ve never been so thoroughly beaten at anything in my life. It was like you had cheat codes or something."

"Just pure skill," I teased, giving him a playful nudge. "Maybe next time I’ll teach you how to win," I teased, then quickly realized it sounded more flirtatious than I intended.

"I—"

Before he could finish, someone called out, “Nick!” From the number of times I’d heard that voice at practice, I could almost smell the narcissism dripping from it. Nick’s expression shifted to mild annoyance as he glanced over his shoulder.

“All right, mate,” Nick said, eyeing Harry up and down with a look of uneasy tolerance. Despite the size of the place, it seemed Harry’s presence was as unavoidable as ever.

“Why are you hanging out here? Bit boring, innit?” Harry asked, his gaze directly fixed on me. The group behind him exchanged knowing glances, their eyes lingering on me with an air of smugness. I shot him a withering glare, not liking where this was going.

Nick shot me a worried look, trying to diffuse the tension. “We just are”

Harry smirked, flopping down on the couch next to Nick and draping an arm around him as if marking his territory. “I’ve got important news for you,” he announced with exaggerated enthusiasm.

“Yeah, what?” Nick asked, clearly uninterested but trying to play along.

"Tara Jones is here" he annoucned gaining the ooos from the boys. My breath hitched, and a sinking feeling settled in my stomach. I knew coming here might have been a mistake.

Nick’s expression turned to confusion. “So, what?”

Harry looked around as if he couldn’t believe on what he was hearing. “This is your big second chance, mate. Let’s make it happen,” he said with a chuckle, Harry looking over at me "They kissed when they were thirteen. Proper romantic" egging on crowd. He says it like I have been dying to know but all I want to do right now is disapear.

“He should go for it, right?” Harry asked, his words dripping with smugness as he pretended to care about my opinion. I could see the tension building in Nick, his discomfort almost palpable. My own irritation was rising fast, and I was seconds away from telling Harry to back off, because if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s seeing Nick put on the spot like this.

"Come on, mate," Harry urged, tugging at Nick's arm to pull him up from the couch.

"Harry—" Nick started, his voice laced with protest.

"Come on. She’s just down the corridor,” Harry insisted, ignoring Nick’s reluctance.

Nick hesitated, clearly uncomfortable. "I haven't talked to her in years."

"So? She's super hot, man," Harry insisted, not letting up.

Nick barely had time to respond before Harry turned toward the crowd, calling out, "All right, ladies!" His voice carried through the room, gathering curious glances.

My stomach twisted as Harry’s words sliced through the noise, “Hey, Tara! I've got someone who wants to see you!” I glanced over, and there she was stunning in a way that made it hard to look away. My chest tightened as her eyes locked onto Nick, her smile effortlessly brightening the room. I could feel my heart sinking, a wave of insecurity washing over me. Tara wasn’t just beautiful; she was the kind of beautiful that made me question what I was even doing here.

The music drowned out their voices, but I could still see the way Tara’s eyes lit up as Nick talked to her. A tight knot formed in my chest as I watched, feeling like an outsider in a scene I didn’t belong in.

I’m so pathetic, I thought, standing here, just watching.

I slipped away, disappearing down the corridor, hoping to lose myself in the crowd and escape the sinking feeling in my gut. As I tried to shake off the unease, someone stepped in front of me.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know where Charlie Spring is, would you?”

I glanced up, recognizing the boy but struggling to place his name. “No, actually, I’ve been looking for him too,” I admitted. After a beat, I added, “And you’re…?”

He smiled, looking a bit bashful. “Ben. We met a while back when you were trying to find the film club.”

It clicked, and I nodded, a small smile creeping onto my face. “Oh, right! I remember now. I can’t believe you still remember me,” I said, laughing a bit, though I couldn’t help but feel a bit flustered.

He chuckled softly, “You’re pretty hard to forget…” There was something in his tone that made the words linger, and I found myself blushing slightly.

A warm flush spread up my neck, I honestly had no idea how to respond to that, so I just offered a shy smile. My mind racing for something to say.

Ben’s smile widened, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “So, what are you doing hiding out back here? The party too wild for you?”

I shrugged, glancing back toward the crowd where Nick was still talking to Tara. “Yeah, something like that,” I mumbled. “Just needed a break from all the noise.”

Ben followed my gaze, his expression turning a bit more serious. “Ah, I see. Sometimes these things can be a bit... much.”

I appreciated his attempt to empathize, even if he didn’t know the half of it. “Yeah,” I agreed, nodding. “It’s just one of those nights, I guess.”

Ben seemed to sense my discomfort and shifted the conversation. “Well, if you ever need to disappear for a while, you can always come hang out with me. I’m more of a ‘quiet corner’ kind of guy myself.”

I smiled at that, feeling a little less alone. “Thanks, Ben. I might just take you up on that.”

Catching something in the corner of his eye, he gives me a fleeting smile and then quietly excuses himself. “I’ll catch you later,” he says, before slipping away, leaving me by myself…again.

Finding a lone couch off to the side, I flopped down onto it, feeling like I might as well get a goddamn trophy for being the lamest person in the room. I pulled out my phone, scrolling through notifications that didn’t interest me, my eyes glazing over texts from friends from back home and ignoring the persistent messages from my mother. Only an hour left before Charlie's dad picks us up. Time seemed to crawl, each minute stretching into an eternity.

I sighed, sinking deeper into the cushions, trying to disappear into the background.

"Hi," a familiar voice cut through the noise. I looked up to see Nick standing in front of me, his hands shoved awkwardly into his pockets. He offered a small, hesitant smile, as if unsure of whether he was welcome.

“Hey,” I replied, sitting up a bit straighter, surprised he’d sought me out again.

"You left."

"Sorry, I was just... starting to feel out of place. The guys can be somewhat intimidating," I admitted, my voice trailing off as I glanced at the crowd. It was a bit of the truth, but it didn’t fully capture how overwhelmed I felt.. Not like I am going to tell him that I have a crush on him, that would certainly make matter worse.

He shook his head, a subtle furrow creasing his brow. "Don’t be sorry," he said firmly, his tone edged with genuine concern. "Half of them are just... dickheads. I’m tired of being around them. I'd much rather hang out with you." His words were sincere, his gaze steady.

This was the second time I heard him say that, and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. But as the reality of his words sank in, a flicker of fear ran through me this was real, and that scared me.

I turned my gaze, my smile slipping as my heart raced. What if I was misreading this? What if he was just being nice? My thoughts tangled, and the crowd seemed to close in on me, the noise growing louder and more intense.

Just as I felt myself sinking, Nick reached out and took my hand. The warmth of his touch was immediate, grounding me in the present. His thumb gently brushed against the back of my hand, and I looked up to find his eyes still on me.

"Shall we go somewhere quieter?" he asked, his voice soft yet firm, offering me an escape.

I hesitated for a moment, my mind still reeling, but the gentle pressure of his hand, the way his fingers intertwined with mine, made the decision for me. I nodded, feeling a wave of relief wash over me as I let him lead the way.

As we moved away from the noise, the tension in my chest began to ease. Nick glanced back at me with a playful smile, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"You want to race?" he teased, the challenge evident in his voice.

I couldn’t help but grin back at him. "You want to race me?" I repeated, already taking a quick step forward to get a head start, my laughter bubbling up as I broke into a run.

"Come on!" I called out over my shoulder, the thrill of the chase energizing my every step.

"Wait, stop!" he shouted, his voice tinged with both surprise and amusement as he sprinted after me, his footsteps echoing up the stairs.

"Unfair, you got a head start," he called out, his mock outrage only making me laugh harder.

"I'm dying!" Nick shouted, his voice breathless yet filled with laughter. I couldn’t believe it the star of the rugby team, gasping and trailing behind me in a race. The thought sent another burst of giggles through me as I glanced back to see him trying to catch up, his grin just as wide as mine.

"Am I hearing an old man complaining?" I teased, slowing down just a bit, but not enough to let him close the gap completely. The sight of Nick, usually so composed and confident, now playfully struggling to keep up, was a rare and delightful reversal that made me wish that we could run just a little while longer.

As we finally reached the top of the stairs, our breath still catching, pushing open the doors

We stepped inside, and I felt my breath catch again, but this time for an entirely different reason.

The grand ballroom before us was stunning. The ceiling reached up high, covered with detailed paintings, their colors bright even in the soft light of the chandeliers that looked like stars. The walls were lined with tall mirrors in fancy frames, reflecting the golden light and making the room feel even bigger.

Nick let out a low whistle, clearly as awestruck as I was. "Wow," he breathed, his voice echoing slightly in the vast space.

Nick shaking his head in disbelief. "Jesus, I knew Harry was rich, but this hotel must have cost him a fuck ton of money," he muttered, his tone a mix of awe and amusement.

I couldn’t help but laugh, the sound echoing softly in the grand room. "No kidding," I replied, glancing around at the opulence surrounding us. "I feel like this place matches his ego big and obnoxious."

Nick snorted, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Yeah, it’s like he’s trying to outdo himself every time. Next thing you know, he’ll be renting out the Eiffel Tower"

I grinned, imagining the absurdity of it. I found a spot against the wall and sank down, admiring the shimmering lights and grandeur of the room. Nick settled beside me, his gaze following mine, but my thoughts were stuck on that moment from earlier. The way he looked at me, the way he said he’d rather hang out with me I couldn’t shake it. It felt like I was becoming delusional, this constant flutter of hope mixed with doubt. I just needed to know, one way or another, so I could either put this silly crush to rest.

"So..." I started, trying to sound casual, but the slight tremor in my voice betrayed me. "Was Harry being serious? Do you like Tara?"

The words felt heavy as they left my mouth, like they were dragging something deeper out into the open. I didn’t know if I was ready to hear the answer, but I had to ask.

Nick's eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. "What? No! No, definitely not," he blurted out, his voice rising in pitch with each word. The intensity of his reaction caught me off guard, making me question why I’d ever worried in the first place.

There was an awkward silence that hung in the air, thick and heavy. I fidgeted with my hands, suddenly hyper-aware of the tension between us.

"Uh… So… you don't have a crush on anyone at the moment?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual, though my heart was pounding in my chest. I forced myself to meet his gaze, hoping to find some clue in his expression.

He looked away from my gaze, his eyes shifting to the glimmering chandeliers above us. "Well, I didn't say that," he murmured, a hint of something unspoken lingering in his voice.

"Oh," I managed to say, though the disappointment in my voice was unmistakable. It felt as if the air had thickened, the silence resuming its heavy presence as if it had never left. The excitement and playfulness from earlier faded, leaving behind a quietness that neither of us seemed to know how to break.

I broke the quiet first, curiosity tinged with a hint of nervousness. “So, what’s she like, then?”

Nick’s eyes flickered up to meet mine, a trace of uncertainty shadowing his face. “You’re just going to assume they’re a ‘she’?”

“Oh,” I said, my voice softening with realization. “Are they… are they not a girl?”

He hesitated, his gaze drifting to the elegant patterns on the floor. “Um…”

I leaned in slightly, trying to read his expression. “Would you go out with someone who wasn’t a girl?”

Nick’s lips twisted into a thoughtful frown. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

I pressed on gently, my heart pounding. “Would you kiss someone who wasn’t a girl?”

He met my eyes again, his expression a mix of confusion and vulnerability. “I think… I think I might. But I’m not entirely sure yet.”

I nodded in understanding, my mind processing Nick's words. I was genuinely touched that he trusted me enough to share this, but the relief I expected didn’t quite come. Instead, a mix of embrassement and lingering dread churned inside me. The fear of complicating things or making him uncomfortable gnawed at me, my feelings for him never leaving.

“But I wouldn’t mind going out with a girl,” he said, his voice steady but revealing a hint of uncertainty. My head snapped up, meeting his eyes.

He continued, “I wouldn’t mind kissing a girl either.” His eyes searched mine, looking for a reaction. I didn’t know what to say. I turned to him, the question on the tip of my tongue, but the words wouldn’t come out.

His hand was so close to mine, just an inch apart; I could practically feel his warmth. The proximity made it hard to think straight, each moment stretching longer as I struggled to keep my composure. Our fingers were touching, and neither of us pulled away.

Nick glanced down at our intertwined fingers, his gaze lingering on them. He swallowed hard, his nervousness palpable. I took a deep breath, gathering my courage, and finally asked,

“Would you kiss me?”

Nick leaned in closer, tightening his hold on my hand. His voice was soft but steady. “Yeah,” he said, his eyes locked onto mine.

The distance between us shrinking until it was almost nothing. His lips hovered near mine, and I could feel his breath, warm and soft, tickling my skin. My heart raced, a wild, fluttery feeling in my chest as I waited, anticipation buzzing in the air around us.

His lips met mine in a sweet, delicate kiss that sent a rush of warmth through me. It was soft and tentative, like he was savoring every second. My senses where filled with his signature scent, the one that I have missed so much. The familiarity of it made my heart ache in the best way, and I found myself melting into the kiss, wanting to hold onto this moment forever.

Pulling away slowing we looked away from each other, I could hardly believe it Nick Nelson had just kissed me. I’d just had my first kiss… and I liked it.

Really liked it

I glanced over at him, my heart still racing, but he was already looking at me, his eyes soft and searching, as if he was trying to gauge my reaction. The realization that this moment was real, that it had actually happened, made my heart swell with something indescribable.

Without thinking, I reached out, my hand finding the back of his neck, and pulled him closer. I kissed him deeply, pouring everything I was feeling into that moment. He responded by pulling me in tighter, his arms wrapping around me as if he didn’t want to let go, the intensity of the kiss growing with every second. It was as if all the emotions we had been holding back finally found their release in that one, perfect moment.

I could hardly breathe when we finally pulled apart. Staring at him, I just couldn't look away.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

"1..." he began to say, but was cut off by the sound of Harry's voice echoing down the hallway.

"Nick, are you here?" Harry called out, his voice drawing closer. Nick's body tensed instantly, the warmth between us replaced by a sudden rush of panic.

"I just want to talk, mate," Harry's voice came closer, more insistent.

Nick pulled away immediately, standing up with a look of sheer panic. He glanced anxiously at the door, his body flinching at each echo of footsteps in the hallway.

"Why are you hiding?!" Harry's voice called out, growing louder and more frustrated.

Nick's gaze was locked on the door, his anxiety clear. Without a word, he took a final, fleeting glance at me an expression of regret or maybe apology flitting across his face. Then, he bolted out, disappearing through the door just as Harry's footsteps grew closer.

The sudden silence that followed was deafening. I sat there, trying to process what had just happened. The kiss had been amazing, but now it felt like a distant, shattered dream.

I felt confused, the warmth of the kiss now gone. My mind was filled with unanswered questions and a sudden ache. It felt like the ground had moved under me, leaving me with just the memory of his touch.

As I tried to steady my breath, my phone vibrated in my pocket. Glancing at the screen, I saw multiple messages from Charlie asking where I was and letting me know that his dad had arrived.

Banging my head gently against the wall, I couldn’t believe how quickly the night had gone from one of the most memorable to one of the worst.

Part 7 Link Here: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/763787688625192960/hearts-unleashed-part-7?source=share

[ao3feed-narlie]

it's hard being casual (when my favorite jumper lives in your dresser).

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/z5X4lVK by xoxo_n Was it casual when Nick and Charlie met at that house party? When they shared a night that neither of them would admit meant more than just a fling? Or was it casual when they started texting every day, finding excuses to spend more time together? They both swore it was completely no strings attached- zero commitment. But that was a lie because in every universe, there was nothing casual between Nick and Charlie. --- OR , Nick and Charlie meet at Leeds during Harry's party and spend a night together. They end up exchanging numbers end up confused on where their relationship exactly lies. Words: 10674, Chapters: 1/13, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Elle Argent, Tao Xu (Heartstopper), Tara Jones, Darcy Olsson, Issac Henderson (Heartstopper), Benjamin "Ben" Hope, Imogen Heaney, Sai Verma, Otis Smith | Omar, Christian McBride (Heartstopper), Harry Greene, Sarah Nelson, Nellie Nelson, Henry Nelson (Heartstopper), Original Characters, David Nelson (Heartstopper) Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Elle Argent/Tao Xu, Tara Jones/Darcy Olsson, Imogen Heaney & Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Elle Argent & Isaac Henderson & Nicholas "Nick" Nelson & Charles "Charlie" Spring & Tao Xu, Christian McBride & Otis Smith | Omar & Sai Verma Additional Tags: Friends With Benefits, Song: Casual (Chappell Roan), Casual Sex, Alternate Universe - College/University, Nick and Charlie meet at uni, Nick at Leeds, Smut, Angst, Miscommunication, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author is a Taylor Swift Fan, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson Loves Charles "Charlie" Spring, Nicholas "Nick" Nelson is a Taylor Swift Fan, Top Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Bottom Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) has an Eating Disorder, Past Benjamin "Ben" Hope/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Benjamin "Ben" Hope is His Own Warning, Past Abuse, Praise Kink, Kinky Things Happen, Charlie serves cunt, Taylor Swift Song Lyrics, Inspired by a Chappell Roan Song, no beta we die like nick's heterosexuality, Good Parent Sarah Nelson, Drinking, Smoking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Therapy, Relapses, Jealous Charlie Spring, Jealous Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Rugby Player Nicholas "Nick" Nelson read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/z5X4lVK

[xxroleplayfanaticxx]

Role-play request!

Hello! I roleplay!

I am 18+ and I'm looking for some roleplay partners. I am ok with oc x oc aswell and am picky with oc x canon but in some cases i will do it.

I'm semi literate to literate to even novella!

We can roleplay on discord.

My fandoms include:

Cookie run kingdom

Fiona and cake

Good omens

Top gun maverick

Miraculous

Pokemon

Rottmnt

Sam and max

Southpark

Detroit become human

BNHA

Don't hug me I'm scared

There is no game

Hamilton

Mlp

Mouth washing

Epic the musical

Sonic

Looney tunes

TBHK

YouTubers

Rick and morty

Undertale

The Stanley parable

Fnaf

Portal 2

Heartstopper

Marvel

The amazing digital circus

Deadplate

Legends of avantris/once upon a witchlight

Hazbin hotel

Inuyasha

Zootopia

Delicious in dungeon

School bus graveyard

Ouran host club

The rise of the shield hero

poppy playtime

DOGMAN

Deathnote

Not all feel free to ask!

‼️‼️‼️Some ships I like(not all of them)!!!!!!‼️‼️‼️‼️

L x Light

Ryuk x Light (me as light)

Pure vanilla x Shadow milk (me as shadow mill)

DOGMAN X PETEY (me as PETEY)

Kyman (me as Cartman)

Poolverine (me as Deadpool)

catnap x dogday (either)

Fluttercord (me as fluttershy)

Ash x Aiden (i can be ash)

Odysseus’s x Polites

Nick x judy me as judy

Puro x colin (me as colin)

Inuyasha x kagome (me as kagome or genderbent inuyasha)

Alastor x husk (me as preferably husk but I can be either)

Alastor x Ángel (me as either)

Alastor x Vox (preferably Vox but either)

Alastor x lucifer (either)

Angel x husk (either)

More for Hazbin just ask

Kremy x Gideon (me as kremy)

Frost x gricko (me as either)

Gricko x gideon (me as gricko)

Frost x Mr light (me as frost)

Charlie spring x Nick nelson

Vince x rody

Caine x Pomni with me as Pomni

Jax x Pomni with me as pomni

Caine x jax with me as either

Venom x eddie with me as eddie

Simon petrikov x any male character (me as simon)

Hankcon (me as Connor)

Stanarrator (me as either)

Aziraphale x Crowley (me as either preferably aziraphale)

Scarab x Prismo (me as scarab)

Ricky x Gordon (me as Ricky)

User x Game (there is no game me as user)

My rules Are:

No oneliners

No being helpless or OP

No spamming me I have a life yknow?

Give me something to work with.

I play certain characters and ships im a little picky! But don't be scared to ask! I'm ok with smut, Gore and pretty much anything. Just ask. No water sports, vore, or feet fetishes! Also im a bottom! I'm open to pretty much any plot if you are interested please add me on discord

Looking for someone who doesn't dissapear for more than a month without a heads up.

My discord:

inky_thekiki_

[cut-the-camera]

Requests!

Hi!! I’ve just started getting back into writing again and I would love to take your requests!

The fandoms/ people I write for currently include:

HEARTSTOPPER

CHARLIE SPRING

NICK NELSON

IMOGEN HEANEY

TORI SPRING

DARCY OLSON (PLATONIC)

TARA JONES (PLATONIC)

JOE LOCKE

KIT CONNOR

RHEA NORWOOD

JOKER OUT/EUROVISION (Bit of a random one I know but I'm a huge fan so)

BOJAN CVJETICANIN

KRIS GUSTIN

NACE JORDAN

JURE MACEK

JAN PETEH

KÄÄRIJÄ

JANN

MISS PEREGRINES HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN

Enoch O’Connor

Jacob Portman

Horace Somnusson

FORMULA ONE

MAX VERSTAPPEN

CHARLES LECLERC

HARRY POTTER/FANTASTIC BEASTS

HARRY POTTER

HERMIONE GRANGER

OLIVER WOOD

NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM

LUNA LOVEGOOD

DRACO MALFOY

VIKTOR KRUM

NEWT SCAMANDER

HIS DARK MATERIALS

LEE SCORESBY

LYRA SILVERTONGUE

MARISSA COULTER

YOUTUBERS

WILLNE

JAMES MARRIOT

DAN HOWELL

VEGARD SAETERHAUG (FORMERLY WISE HUFFLEPUFF)

SEAMUS GORMAN

(This list will be added to eventually)

I only write for Male or Gender Neutral readers! (unless I see an idea I really like that fits any other category)

I’m okay with writing angst/trauma or smut (just be warned it might not be very good lol) though I will turn down specific requests if they make me feel uncomfortable to write and I would prefer to only write smut about fictional characters rather than real people.

With all that being said, I’d love to take your requests!! ❤️