#charlie has a temper my beloved

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

Lost focus on Radiohusk cnc roofiekink, starting writing Radiobelle torturekink whoops. This fic will be 50/50 weird kink degenerate shit but MORE IMPORTANTLY it will be propaganda for my Sphinx!Charlie hc that I love deeply and will keep in my heart forever

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

horse girl charlie morningstar, her partner in a cool hat and eye patch vaggie, and the Hazbin Horse Rehabilitation Ranch- where shit people are introduced to horses no one else wants and hopefully no one get trampled to death (niffty this means YOU)

other key features include

vaggie riding a small working horse and ppl keep calling it a pony and she keeps telling them It's Not A Fucking Pony

charlie and her beloved mule, who never listens to her

angel dust wanting to learn dressage bc it looks like "fancy sexy riding" and also he was banned from mentioning the words "bare back" or "bucking bronco"

husk constantly found drunk and asleep in his horse's stall while said horse nuzzles him

niffty obsessing over grooming all the horses down to their individual hairs, yes even the bad tempered horses, yes she likes it when they shmoosh her against a wall or step on her foot

alastor looking calm collected and in control on his horse as he wanders off from the group and never participates in activities bc his horse won't listen to him either and he's too proud to admit it

sir pentious keeps trying to make his horse look and preform the best using his own new designs for tack and gear and it always backfires but he's the go-to one if your saddle needs adjusting or fixing

his egg boiz are a flock of chickens

his horse keeps eating the chickens' eggs and he keeps crying over it, even when charlie tells him they wouldn't have hatched into chicks anyway

lucifer lives in a shack somewhere around here with his collection of customized my little pony brushible toys

the locals in the nearest town still talk about lilith's incredible horse whispering skills before she up and vanished

charlie gushes about these stories a LOT but laughs nervously if asked about her own way with horses

she tries.

her way of making sudden loud squees and eeeks and excited yells and wild energetic movements doesn't fit well with most of the horses

she also slips up and gets flaming mad at anything that threatens her family's ranch or anyone who mistreats a horse

angry charlie is Scary Charlie

her mule doesn't care tho it knows she's a pushover treat giver

when vaggie first figured out what was happening she spent weeks with her own horse slowly getting it used to all sorts of weird charlie-related things, including stealing charlie's jacket a few times to flap it wildly while chasing her horse around the paddock singing loud show tunes

vaggie's horse is the only one that'll let charlie ride it without being a nervous wreck

charlie maybe cried a little when she went for that first ride

vaggie has a shot gun

she spends a lot of time checking on things riding far out and alone and keeps the gun with her just in case

she's never actually threatened any of their human boarders with the shot gun but she does have an unnerving tendency to check and clean it whenever she's pissed and trying to keep some shred of her patience intact

every week there's at least one night set aside for an evening dance after dinner and yes chaggie was doing it long before any other ppl showed up

valentino showed up once and charlie chased him off the premises with vaggie's shotgun

the ranch used to have a television

now it has a radio tower

no one except alastor is happy about it but his radio commercial revenue is paying for most of this so they all keep mostly quiet about their grumbling and record voice lines for ads when he looms over them with a script

vaggie swears the time she shot out the radio tower's windows while arguing with alastor over her and charlie's voice lines was a complete accident

razzle and dazzle are ranch dogs who keep track of the horses when they're out grazing and both are COMPLETELY in tune with charlie, been with her since childhood, the three can basically read each others' minds and watching them all work together is like watching magic

(vaggie also knows how to work with them but has to use more obvious signals instead of just tiny changes in body language)

vaggie keeps trying to gently remind charlie there are events for dog handling she could enter in

but the ranch was lilith's passion and rehabilitating rejected horses her dream and charlie is not not giving up on that OR on the rejected people her mom always was so proud of and charlie is NOT letting herself think for one moment that her mom isn't coming home

speaking of coming home

chaggie met when charlie was out riding after a storm looking for a lost horse and found it staring curiously down at a half dead lady lying in a ditch with a freshly gouged out eye and burns on her back

the half dead lady claimed she shot out her own eye by accident and got hit by lightning

or maybe fell asleep on a campfire uhh

charlie was way too busy figuring out normal social interactions again and also how to patch up a pretty lady without being a complete fool about it to question vaggie's super realistic tale

vaggie was planning on staying just long enough to get on her feet again- especially after she started catching feelings watching charlie being sweet with all the stubborn horsies- and seeing how much charlie was struggling with the ranch without having someone else to look after

she was even gonna steal a horse on the way out

and got caught by charlie in the act

charlie just smiled sadly, told vaggie she was glad she wasn't heading off alone, told vaggie's horse to take care of her, and then went back to the daily chores

vaggie caught up with her an hour later

she'd had to properly put her horse away and get breakfast started first, for after they've finished up the morning stuff

they've been running the ranch together ever since

keekee the cat is the actual boss on the ranch and got her name from how doors always open for her (bc she bothers whoever's around until they drop what they're doing to obey her)

cherri bomb stops by once just to laugh at angel dust and ignore pentious but ends up being the only one who figures out why the new horse is spooking at everything- it's got hearing loss, and she's got it too from doing endless unlicensed fireworks shows, and she's totally just sticking around until the horse gets used to things here. totally

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)—Major Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.

Pola Negri (The Wildcat, Men, A Woman Commands)—Legally obliged to submit her as she's from Poland, but also it is one of the greatest stars of silent film, both in Hollywood and Europe, so she has to be here. The og femme fatale and a fenomenal dramatic actress. And just so hot in this 1920s vamp style. Obviously her career slowed down in America with the introduction of sound movies, because of her accent and low voice. I'd say her voice is so much hotter thanks to that, but I'm just a simple simp. But then she made movies in Germany, and after the war she was even offered Gloria Swanson's role in "Sunset Boulevard'' but she declined. She was probably bisexual as after romances with Charlie Chaplin and Rudolf Valentino in the 20s, since the 1940s she lived with her 'female friend'.

This is round 4 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Sophia Loren:

She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65

im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty

OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)

One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.

Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances

Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.

JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL

Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.

Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.

Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face 😳

Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.

Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.

Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isn’t self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.

She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.

On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non è vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."

Pola Negri:

A tempestuous green-eyed vamp of the silent screen, she tantalized with both her onscreen and offscreen romances. Rocked a Polish accent - well, once there was sound! A true proficient at promoting herself and using all possible tools to do so - from a dead Rudolf Valentino to a cheetah named Teddy, the latter of which she brought to a press conference.

First European actress to be contracted by Hollywood! She survived poverty and illness to become The Queen of Tragedy, she divorced a count to date stars like Charlie Chaplin and Rudolph Valentino, then spent the rest of her life living with Margaret West in what could have been a romantic relationship.

I don't have much to say about her actual career, personal life, etc. but I just need everyone to see how hauntingly beautiful her face is. I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since the first time I saw her LOL like its pretty clear why she was such a star

[wolfoftheblackflames]

Had this adorable thought in my head. Basically, imagine this scenario. (Post Episode 6 too since I felt like it, also first time writing something like this, enjoy!)

Vaggie and Charlie are going on a nice little walk since the two could use a break from the hotel, plus date night. As they're walking, Vaggie continues to hear the annoying assholes disrespecting her girl and gets rightfully pissed. Charlie, not wanting to cause a scene, tells her, "It's OK" and that "She's used to it" which in turn prompts Vaggie to get even more pissed swearing in Spanish. She then starts cussing at the assholes branding her spear at them. Charlie tries to stop her girlfriend's rampage but fails. Touched her girlfriend got mad on her behalf, but annoyed because some jerks ruined their outing, Charlie manages to scoop up Vaggie in her arms before it gets too out of control.

She then carries the fuming woman back to the hotel, walking past some curious on lookers in Angel Dust and Husk. The boys noticed a bit of blood on Vaggie's spear and winced with Husk saying, "Who pissed that one off?" And Angel replying with "Some shmuck who probably pushed her buttons too far."

Upstairs in their room, Charlie sets Vaggie on the bed and crosses her arms, but her expression from annoyed softens when she sees Vaggie rubbing her neck and looking away. She tries to hide her embarrassment and hears Charlie's footsteps moving away but only to come back with a basin of water and a cloth. "Look, hon, I'm sorry I lost my temper, but those assholes.." She begins but blinks, feeling that soft loving hand touch her cheek. Charlie then gently wipes away some blood smeared on her girlfriend's face replying with a soft "I know, thank you for doing that but also what if you got hurt?"

Vaggie would lightly blush, remembering how they met, and then holds Charlie's hand to her face, kissing her princess's palm. "I'm a lot sturdier than I look, baby, but thanks for worrying about me." To which Charlie chuckles and replies."What did I do to get such a wonderful person as my girlfriend?"

With that Charlie nuzzles Vaggie smiling as her little moth has a darker shade of blush tinting her dusky cheeks. "That's what I should be asking you." With that Vaggie plants a warm kiss on Charlie's lips but a part of her couldn't help but think "If you only knew what I did and who I was, would you still want me around?"

As if on cue, Charlie knew the sadness and scooped up her girlfriend again, carrying the smaller woman and shifting their bodies to where Vaggie could just rest comfortably against the princess, letting the doubts fade for a moment. Surprised Vaggie looked stunned but then her eyes started to close as she just nuzzles into Charlie's chest listening to her hellborn's heartbeat, it was the one sound she loved to listen to when her mind was clouded with thoughts of worthlessness, because it made her feel like she was worth something, at least to her beloved Charlie, who in turn just held Vaggie close as the two drifted off for a small nap.

However it was short as an explosion and cussing awoke the two causing them to rush out and peer over the railings. Angel Dust with an annoyed look while holding burnt food, Alastor smiling like a mad man amused, Nifty trying to clean up the mess, Sir Pentious looking concerned replying with a "I guessss you're not cut out for cooking Angel Dusssst." And Husk just chuckling at the softie. "Hey I'm a pornstar, my food gets served to me on a silver platter, so excuse me for not being able to cook!" The spider replied annoyed but then blinks hearing the girls on the railing laughing at his little antic. "You're banned from the kitchen Angel, at least until you stop blowing it up." Vaggie stated as she smirked with a playful grin.

It was a fun note to end a shitty day on, but damn it what was suppose to be pizza turned out to be a huge charred mess that pretty much broke apart as soon as you tried to pick it up.

[that-darn-clown]

another ask before church, let's go:

so these are just some general thoughts on my beloved Charlie Emily in the Rewrite.

both of the twins are just like their dad, but in different ways.

Sammy is more quiet and aloof, but he can be a silly guy when he wants to. like Charlie and his father, he's interested in robotics and Maybe taking over the business someday. he's not good with emotions (his own and everyone else's), and he wants William dead (although he's certainly more...impulsive than Henry).

Charlie is calm, generally viewed as the one people go to for comfort (whether she's exactly prepared to or able to is another question entirely), as well as a guiding, leading figure. she's got a temper like her dad, though. if she's pissed, she retorts first and asks questions later.

as Henry says, it's in her nature to protect the innocent. she lifts people into her arms, and yet very few do the same for her.

like, i love the fanon thing of Charlie being pretty competent in her role as Soul Protector for the other children, but. i've always found the idea of Charlie just barely knowing what the fuck to do even funnier.

like, this kid just got murdered. she now has five more, potentially much younger kids that are also confused. okay, now it's six because Cassidy. like. sure, she'll help the best she can but That Doesn't Mean She Knows What She's Doing.

i like to imagine it's stuff like this:

"Okay, can we be a bit less murdery? Y'all can chill the fuck out-"

"Jesus fucking- Okay Gabi. Uncle Will's being a dumbass and murdering kids again, so we've gotta stop him from doing that, okay? Yeah I know, I know, you're tired, but I ain't doing this by myself and you're the only one up right now. No I'm not asking Cassidy for help with this-" (Charlie immediately pre-SAVE THEM)

"NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE: I'VE BEEN PROTECTING PEOPLE FROM YOUR BULLSHIT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME!" (< talking to William post-SAVE THEM)

"Cassidy, I love you like a younger brother, you know that. Stop fucking murdering the nightguards, you're gonna get us in trouble and shut down again."

"Cassidy, I'm gonna turn around, and you better not be about to show me Alex's dead body- Why do I even fucking try at this point."

"Uncle Will, this is why you should've quit your bullshit. Because now you're dead and stuck inside your fursuit for the rest of time. Why are you treating that like a good thing the fuck-" (< not upset about the furry part. it's quite literally everything else that's fucked up to her)

"STOP TRYING TO KILL MY BROTHER, ASSHOLE-"

"STOP TRYING TO KILL YOUR SON, ASSHOLE-"

"Cassidy. Cass. Cassy. My little brother in a better universe. You can move on, you don't need to keep torturing your dad. I mean I get why you're doing this, but fucking Christ-"

and those are just a few examples of Charlie being very tired of this shit. give my girl a break, she needs one

Hahaha charlie just being so tired of this shit but. She loves these damn kids so by god she's getting their shit together

[forasecondtherewedwon]

My Nancy Drew Masterlist

Rated G

The Hostest With the Ghostest Bess is doing her best to keep things with Odette friendly—and only friendly—like everyone wants. But, gosh, it's hard when all Odette seems interested in talking about is love. Bess x Odette | 1.8k

Rated T

bad girls bend George helps Ace and Nancy deal with Temperance's curse. Ace x Nancy | <1k

every way (love's a little stronger) Nighttime relaxes Nancy like nothing else can. Ace x Nancy | <1k

how he got here (I don't know) “You thinking about your mom?” Nancy asks straight out, and damn, does Ryan ever appreciate her for it. 1.2k

The Mystery of the Library Archive The love's only in the letters—Lucy and Ryan's Y2K emails. Totally confined to the research. Purely in the subject matter of the case and absolutely, definitely, unequivocally not in Nancy and Ace's investigative process. Ace x Nancy | 2.1k

You Know Dasher and Dancer (And Charlie and Jesse and Ted and Victoria) George invites Nick to Christmas dinner and her family is just… They’re a lot. George x Nick | 2k

you know I try (most of the time) Rejecting Nancy’s instruction to run, Ace goes after her, back towards Temperance and the Veil. Ace x Nancy | 1.4k

Rated M

Rug Chat The aftermath of "a spot of word-free physicality." Bess x Addy | <1k

Rated E

In the House of Gil Repute “I’m going to hazard a theory that no one has ever been as turned on by the promise of banana cream pie,” Nancy says. She’s striving to turn this around on him, preserve, you know, some part of her dignity. But this is Gil Bobbsey, and he knows how to play the game. He smirks at her before countering, “Yeah, well, nobody’s ever promised banana cream pie in such a seductive tone of voice.” Nancy x Gil | 1.9k

Love Me Like You Drew Romance author Nancy Drew is great at writing about love—like, bestseller great—but she hasn't been so great at feeling it since her mom died. Struggling to find inspiration for the much-anticipated follow-up to her beloved early works, she drives from New York to Horseshoe Bay, Maine. The picturesque town effortlessly provides, though the handsome diner dishwasher is a bit much. She's going to ignore him. She's going to try to ignore him. Or, the five times Nancy sees Ace as a Harlequin romance cover come to life and the one time he's just a guy. Ace x Nancy | 30k

Lustbuster It's probably not the best idea to let Nancy decide how to manage her lust, but it probably wasn't the best idea to leave Ace in charge of watching her either. Ace x Nancy | 3.9k

Shuck Buddies Nancy’s here for the oysters. Ace is here for… yeah, the oysters. Sure. Those. Ace x Nancy | 20k

Such Bluffs as Dreams Are Made On Maybe that’s as far as this dreamscape is supposed to take them—just shy of a kiss. Nancy might believe that, if this was her first time being drawn into her own head by paranormal forces. But it’s not and she doesn’t. Ace x Nancy | 3.6k

cross-posted to my Bayside Claw Coupon Book.

[zablife]

This Reminded Tommy of You

Part of my Corrupt a Wish challenge.

Request: Showing you things that reminded them of you.Requested by @cillmequick.

Warnings: neglect, spousal abuse, child endangerment Corrupt a wish reminder: If you think this story has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention. Proceed with caution.

“Shhh, shh, I know, my darling,” you whispered, swaying back and forth. All your attempts to quiet your three year old son had failed. In your haste to flee Arrow House, his favorite teddy bear had been left behind and now he was inconsolable. You dropped your head onto his and wept quietly with him.

You hadn’t eaten or slept in two days, waiting for the perfect time to slip away without Tommy noticing. Fearing his horrible temper the moment he discovered you missing, you knew you’d have to move as quickly as possible. However, traveling with a small child was difficult and you'd been forced to stop at a little inn to rest.

As you rocked Charlie in your arms, he finally tired himself out and became heavy in your arms. You placed him across the bed and watched him sleep as you thought of the torturous years that brought you to this moment. You wondered if you were doing the right thing. Charlie deserved two loving parents, but Tommy had left you no choice. He would never be the man you needed him to be.

He treated you both like possessions, shiny trophies to place in a case, and nothing more. You doubted he felt anything when he looked at you with his cold, blue eyes. He hadn’t been there when your son was born, though he was pleased it was a boy. He had said as much when he finally visited you, spouting lofty plans for the future of Shelby Company Limited. His dream of having an heir to continue the family business had finally come true.

For a time it was easy to ignore his boastful speeches and promises to teach Charlie the ways of his world because it seemed so unlikely. Tommy never spent a day holding his son and left the nurturing to you. You were sure if you molded the child, you could change his destiny. However, the past year had unsettled you greatly.

The protection Tommy once provided began to crumble as the family was arrested and Charlie’s safety was threatened. Tommy began insisting on armed men everywhere and you began living inside a prison. The day you found Charlie playing with a pistol was a horrifying realization you would never be safe no matter what your husband promised.

Despite your exhaustion, fitful dreams made you toss and turn in the small bed. Visions of Charlie in peril ran through your mind and a gunshot rang out in your dream, waking you with a jump. You sat up in bed, clutching your chest, thankful that it had only been a nightmare. Searching the bed beside you to reassure yourself, you had the sickening realization that Charlie was gone.

“Decided to take a little holiday did you?” Tommy’s deep voice boomed from the doorway. Your stomach dropped as you met his piercing gaze. He held you there in a challenging stare and you were struck speechless as you took in the sight of Charlie snuggled into his father’s chest. He sucked his thumb contentedly as he held onto his beloved teddy bear. 

“Daddy brought teddy,” Charlie mumbled. 

Tommy rubbed his back saying, “I saw it and I thought of you and mummy and how much I missed you. Would you like to come home with me now, my boy?” Charlie looked up at Tommy and back down at you before reaching for you. Your eyes welled with tears at the thought of having to go back home. 

“No, Tommy, please,” you begged. “I don’t want this anymore." You shook your head as a tear slid down your cheek.

Charlie began wriggling in his arms to get to you and Tommy clenched his jaw in frustration. “I thought you might say that.” He opened the door and handed Charlie to Finn. “Go with Uncle Finn now like a good boy, Charlie.” Charlie began to kick and scream and you raced from the bed to reach him, but Tommy pulled you from the hallway and pushed you against the wall. Holding your jaw he spat at you, “Thought you could take my son from me? How fucking dare you!” Throwing your head away, he straightened himself and his blue eyes turned to ice as he promised you, “You made a mistake crossing me, love. Now you’ve lost a husband and a son.”

“You can’t take Charlie! I’d rather die than be separated from my child!” you challenged him.

“Don’t worry, darling, that’s all been arranged,” he taunted cruelly as two of his men rushed in to grab you. “I’ll give Charlie your kiss goodbye,” he said coldly as they hauled you off to carry out his orders.

[danpuff-ao3]

Rare Pair Tag Game

Rules: List the top rarepairs that you like outside of your OTP, and why you ship it! (Criteria for what makes a rarepair is up to your own discretion.).

Thanks for the tag @writcraft!!

Tagging: @perverse-idyll, @lizzy0305, @fleetingdesires, @cindle-writes, @serenaew, @tackytigerfic, @sweet-s0rr0w, @broomsticks, @lumosatnight, @indigo-scarf, @the-paper-monkey, @maesterchill, @snapesnailtape, @kellychambliss, @givereadersahug, @coconutice22, @likelightinglass, @crazybutgood, @sugareey-makes-stuff, @anaxandria-writes, @greenmegsnoham, @siriusly-sapphic, @thistlecatfics, @vdoshuand anyone else who wants to play! But no pressure to anyone I tagged, either! 💛

Now....onto the ships!

OTP is Snarry of course! And most of my rare pair loves, or other ships in general, feature DRACO my beloved!

Draco/Sirius: top tier for me because of that juicy, juicy age gap. And a hint of incest for extra flavor, but also isn't too close for comfort. There's the Harry connection (Sirius as the godfather and Draco as the rival), and the war connection (Sirius in the Order and Draco as a teenage Death Eater.) Lots of room for tension. But they're both also very bright and gifted. Sirius is rebellious enough to catch Draco's eye (very "bad boy" of him) and Draco is sassy enough and quick enough to keep Sirius entertained. Plus I see them both as being a bit vain and will both especially love how good they look together. 😉 Basically: lots to explore and lots of potential that I am DYING to play with, and to see played with more! (Really need to do a rec list for them soon....)

Draco/Remus: also really up there for me. Again: the age gap. But also! More to play with. There's again that Harry connection and the war connection we see with Sirius, but the whole dynamic changes with Remus. The pureblood boy raised in pureblood culture and Remus, who is not only a half-blood but a werewolf! Also: poor. Everything about Remus should be "wrong" but I think they could complement each other well. Remus is very smart and has lots of experience with troublesome Marauders....Draco's not going to give him any problems! Remus is patient and experienced and while he is capable of temper, and capable of mischief, he also has quite a stable and reliable presence to him that I think would appeal to Draco. Remus feels like a "safe" choice on a personal, one-on-one level, though their relationship itself would get all sorts of heat from all sides. Remus will find Draco to be endearing, even with all his sass and drama, and in Remus Draco will find love and acceptance he's never truly had before.

Draco/Ron: ah yes my enemies to lovers + opposites attract loves!! Both purebloods, but raised on opposite ends of the spectrum, Draco with the blood supremacy and in high society, with the Weasleys as "blood traitors" and poorer. Draco is the spoiled only child, Ron the sixth of seven children. The Gryffindor & the Slytherin, the Order vs the Death Eaters, and so on and so forth. Both very smart, both pretty temperamental, both pretty competitive. A lot of tension and a lot of fun. It's all SPARKS between them and I can see them both realizing how attracted (if not connected) they are waaaaay too late and being horrified by it which is hilarious. There's a lot of humor potential here, too, with two quick witted men! Also the aesthetic! Red hair and blond hair, blue eyes and gray eyes! 😍 (Listen, I can't lie, the aesthetic is just too good!)

Draco/Charlie: this is a fun one! A lil baby age gap. Plus Draco being the dragon, and Charlie being the dragon keeper. It's obvious but oh so delicious. There's the idea of some initial tension due to their families' history, but one easily moved past since they don't have personal history between them. Plus I see Charlie as very like Remus in being a sorta patient and stolid presence, and someone who can put up with all Draco gives and provides a safe place for him to be himself and be accepted and cared for. Also all the fun potential of postwar Draco escaping England and going to the dragon reserve and training as a healer there!!!! I'm a sucker for those stories, not gonna lie. Charlie is so fun and adventurous and I think he can really brighten Draco's life and help Draco find more of who he is in a safe and non-judgemental place.

Draco/Albus Severus: age gap galore! Dating the son of your childhood nemesis who looks like a mini him?? Too much fun I can't lie. (Also and this is very specific to me, but c'mon....Snarry + Dralbus???? Harry being horrified but also his son is just in the position he was in many moons ago!!!!) (I'm writing a fic like that right now, it's just slow going, but one day!!!! One day it will exist in the world.)

Neville/Percy: This one is hard to explain but like....the awkward romance vibes! Uptight Percy and chill but shy Neville. Neville can respect Percy's rules and standards I think, while Percy can appreciate Neville's strength and skill. Both are people whose contributions are often overlooked or belittled so them appreciating each other and finding that support and respect in each other would do them both a world of good I think!!

Neville/Remus: Age gap! Soft sweet bois. There's not enough of these two out there I swear, and they're both characters I have so much love for!! They're strong and decent and they've both overcome so much in life, and I think they'd have a nice steady and comfortable relationship once they got together.

Hermione/Ginny: It's so hard for me to find fics of these 2 that work for me but I still have so many feelings. They're such competent ladies. Very individual and independent and confident. I love the idea of Hermione being the brains and Ginny being the brawn haha! The bookworm and the athlete!! 😍 All the awkwardness of dating a friend and extra awkwardness if we keep Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione as temporary relationships (until everyone realizes they're gay, of course.) Ugh. There's just so much potential here and I need it!!!!

Ginny/Gwenog: mega rarepair but oh god I love them. 2 athletic ladies!! Plus age gap, at least some sorta age gap. I also love to headcanon Gwenog as a Slytherin and a bit arrogant and playing the story of "don't meet your heroes" with Ginny hero-worshipping Gwenog until they meet and get off on the wrong foot!! But then obviously fall together!!!! I need it I swear. I need to write more of them, maybe in the same universe as Red All Over...🤔

Fleur/Hermione: god I love them. Like with Hermione/Ginny it's putting two very skilled and competent ladies together. Brave and strong and sure in who they are and also their values. Fleur is also pretty dang badass. She was a champion!! I especially adore the idea of Fleur being a good role model for femininity and how it's okay to be fashionable and get dolled up for oneself, but also how women can still be capable while being attractive, and even if she's a little vain there's more to her than just that. And Hermione having to face her own prejudices against more "girly" things. And maybe Fleur having some disdain for Hermione's "know it all" attitude, and them working through bad first impressions and finding someone they can really connect with and have as a teammate in life. I really love the idea of them bonding over activism and Fleur being impressed with Hermione's passion, and sharing her own struggles as being part-Veela and the struggles her Veela family members have dealt with.

Severus/Filch: Age gap! Also: caretaker/student? Yes please. Something about this pair does it for me. Not as a forever love kinda thing, but definitely a special connection for two men who are starved for connection. Think about it: Filch is a Squib working in a magical school! No wonder he's so bitter. And the students don't treat him much better than he treats them, really. Then we have Severus, who is so skilled and so intelligent and so under-appreciated by practically everyone around him. By his peers. By his teachers. Even at home (whether or not Filch knows this), between Tobias not liking magic much, the abuse at least between Eileen and Tobias, but also I like to see Severus as being too bright as a kid and his parents not really knowing what to do with him in general. And then Severus being bullied at school for not being handsome enough or charming enough or having the right connections or having money, etc. And Filch sorta seeing something he relates to, not being appreciated, and himself learning to appreciate how sharp Severus is and how independent and capable he is. And Severus having someone who looks out for him, and who sees him, and having a safe place to be.

(Originally this was numbered but Tumblr tells me I exceeded the character per block limit 😒) (Anyway this next one is number 12 which is a good number to round off on.)

Harry/Scorpius: I've said it before and I'll say it again: Snarry is my husband and Scarry is the hot pool boy I fantasize about. I legitimately feel like I'm cheating on my OTP when they're in other ships but something about Harry/Scorpius draws me in! Part of it is, much like the reason I ship Snarry, I love both Harry and Scorpius so much. And this is Cursed Child Scorpius, the Cinnamon Roll, who is beyond precious and I adore him. Plus you know: age gap + "child of my school nemesis who looks just like him" and you know....+ son's best friend. It's so wrong and awkward and fun!! Especially when it's Scorpius having a massive crush on Harry from basically childhood and Harry eventually seeing him in a new light. PLUS with Snarry being forever in my head and heart, it's the idea of having another love so different from his first, which is softer and sweeter and both are really good but in different ways. And maybe Severus and Scorpius can each hold their own special, unique place in his heart (though I don't dare think long on why Severus might not be in the picture anymore...) Anyway idk Scarry just does it for me and I'm obsessed, but please don't tell my husband (Snarry.)

.....if you made it all the way through this, 10 points to your Hogwarts house.

[synthapostate]

Pacific Rim Anniversary Time again! One year ago today, my beloved wife rented Pacific Rim: Uprising for me and we watched it together. And it was fine! The writing was shaky. The directing was subpar. It’s not the sequel anyone was hoping for. But in all honesty, we were never going to get that movie. Which is okay. That’s what fanfic is for.

And speaking of fanfic, Uprising gave us so many opportunities to exercise our creativity.

Charlie Day and Burn Gorman acted the hell out of every scene they were in, and Newt’s fate is heartbreaking. It’s left unresolved - clearly that would have been a plotline in the third movie, but since that never happened, we get to write it ourselves. Who could resist a Newton Geiszler Recovery Arc? Delicious angst. Loneliness. Desperation. Closed-off, prickly Hermann Gottlieb laying himself bare to save the man he loves. Newt believing he’s not worth saving after all this, only to be shown he’s wrong. Canon breaks them, and we get to heal them. That’s a beautiful thing.

Jake Pentecost! John Boyega’s charisma goes a long way toward fleshing out his character, and he’s a lot of fun to watch. There are criticisms to be had about what his situation retroactively says about his father, but we already knew that Stacker Pentecost wasn’t perfect, and his flaws included stubbornness and temper. It’s important to engage with the fact that even a hero can fail to be what someone needs them to be.

Also, polyamory. It’s a shame that Nate and Jules between them don’t have two personality traits to rub together, but since the love triangle was pointedly not resolved, I get to write them as a functional offscreen ot3, and that makes me happy. Considering the rampant biphobia in fandom spaces, I’m tempted to bring them into something or other as major players just because. I love bisexuals. <3

Amara! I don’t know, I just like her. The actress was great, her developing found family relationship with Jake was sweet, and there’s a lot to be done with her.

Vik! The film suffers from having too many minor characters, but Vik stands out from the crowd of mostly forgettable cadets. Her chemistry with Amara really shines, and I love a good enemies to friends (to lovers?) arc.

In conclusion, PRU was not by any stretch of the imagination a great movie, but I don’t think it deserves quite as much hate as it gets. Its better parts are there for the taking, and the parts that fail are opportunities for us to improve on, which is everything a fan creator can ask for. And for better or worse, it has shaped the Pacific Rim fandom as it is today. And I love this fandom.

[deadandwalking]

OKK TUMBLR i have 5 IQ and lots of excitement THE FNAF MOVIE RELEASES IN THE UK IN TWO FUCKING DAYS !!! AND I’M GONNA SEE IT :DDDD

this has triggered a s e v e r e brainrot, so i’m going to explain my own interpretations on the missing children (+ Charlie ofc) (because they remain my favourites, underused characters) and you’re all going to pretend you’re listening.

Starting off with Gabriel, i feel like for the soul of Freddy he was severely overlooked as a character. i believe he was one of the last to die, as Freddy tends to take longer to move about in the first game and typically sticks to the back of the building or follows Bonnie’s path. i think Gabriel, Jeremy and Fritz may have died together or at least knew eachother before death, although there’s limited evidence, it’s still nice to imagine they didn’t go alone. i think of him being around 8-10 age wise. Design wise, there’s really nothing besides his Fourth Closet appearance, like i said, overlooked.

Jeremy is a simple enough kid, probably was shy because Bonnie tends to be a bit behind on the hall camera and he’s always hiding in the storage closet. again, Freddy’s always following him + Freddy, Bonnie and Foxy all used the one hallway, so they’re probably familiar at the very least (he also ended up sharing pirate’s cove in UCN so he at least knew Foxy.) i don’t believe he was the same Jeremy who was bit, i believe that Jeremy Fitzgerald was an undercover cop investigating Charlie’s murder. (also, toy chica did the bite. the UCN voicelines were a dead giveaway, you mangle believers are outdated) (also some people apparently believe it was toy bonnie? how would that even work, that’s dumb, toy bonnie believers dni) he’s about 7-8 to me and again, nothing much appearance wise apart from Fourth Closet, so that’s who he is to me.

now Susie, my beloved Susie, she was the first to die, obviously. as much as i loved coming home, i like to stick to game lore for her. so she has her dog, not oliver and gretchen. i think her and Cassy are really close friends, for reasons mentioned in a previous post. i like to think that Susie doesn’t really get on with the boys, she tried to play with them at first but they wouldn’t play with her because she’s a fucking weirdo /aff so now she thinks they’re mean, which is why she sticks to her side of the building and leaves the boys to theirs. she’s also in the kitchen so much because that’s where Cassidy stays. cupcake is not possessed, but Susie treats it like a pet to help cope with her mourning of her dog. she’s 9, kept from the books, and i use the fruity maze appearance for her.

Fritz is a character i actually never really took to. Foxy was always overrated to me, there are so many better people. y’all are sleeping on so many great characters. although, i don’t really think of him as the loud, bossy, aggressive kid the fandom made him. i think of him as more shy, hence always hiding in pirates cove. bad tempered sure, but he’s no special case. he can’t do any more damage than Gabriel, Jeremy or Susie. he’s about 7-9 and his appearance is more like the stereotypical one though, didn’t like the fourth closet one, he doesn’t look right if he isn’t ginger.

Cassidy, my most beloved, she’s the VIP here. the main character, our star, she’s the moment. i love her so much and i feel attacked that she was so ignored. she was the second to die i imagine, she died in the ballpit, and simply did not vibe with that. she’s angy girl but we love her for that. Charlie and Susie work to keep her in line though. Cassidy, unlike the others, knows the difference between the nightguards and William, hence why Golden can’t actually kill you in fnaf 1 and 2. she knows better. she just doesn’t like any adult ever (apart from Henry/OMC, that’s her new dad and fishing partner) speaking of OMC, UCN was all her doing. she’s a creative kid, what can i say. all the animatronics were being controlled by her. the voicelines were imitations, OMC, Puppet, and the whithers being the only exception. she’s sort of like a mother to the missing kids, she’s bossy and a lot stricter with the boys than with Susie. despite being the mother, she’s only 4, being the youngest missing kid and the second youngest kid overall. i use a few different appearances for her, but the most common is the one from the security logbook

Charlie is a messy character so i’d like to start off by specifying that she is heavily game coded here, book Charlie isn’t really my thing (i also have an unexplainable hatred for John, no clue why.) so she’s 3 here, not fuckin 20 something. she was the last to die, and the one who gave everyone bodies (FNAF 2 was the first game including the missing children chronologically) she’s the second mother to everyone, despite being the youngest. she looks after everyone, and makes sure they’re not off getting crisped up by her dad nor having their fursuits chopped up by her dad’s business partner. she was the one sent Cassidy to hell to meet Henry, Cass had no intentions of following William originally. I use her midnight motorist appearance.

anyways yeah i haven’t really been into fnaf for a while now, i’m just normal about it, no big thoughts

[detectivelokis]

What was charlie up to during the auction at the rossi estate? 👀

lmao my first ever fic for her in this verse took place during the auction!

Charlie was pretty sour about having to attend. By then she’s been with Rafe for almost three years and has heard so much, maybe too much, about Avery’s treasure at that point.

She happens to run into a former beloved acquaintance from her gun running days and while they catch up, she spies on Rafe’s conversation with Sully and Nadine. After his temper tantrum she tries to help him calm down, but he’s still in his feelings.

She’s at the bar when the power goes out and the cross is stolen. When she meets up with Rafe again the ballroom is locked down and they may or may not sneak into a side room where they can decompress and she can get railed on a box of wine.

[aj-the-idiot]

Soo , how many ocs do you have?

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THIS D:

Here's all of them! (And a box to cover up an unrelated drawing)

More details and closer photos under the cut!

Perish, my beloved grumpy bastard. He's an Error/Nightmare child. He's short-tempered and might come off as rude. At his core he's a very curious and determined monster. His birthday is 25 October (2018)

Felony, who is a Lust/Killer child. He is a bit of a dare-devil and very passionate and caring about those he cares about. Technically, he is a yandere but I always forget to do something with it lmao. (If you look at the photo over the cut, you can see him looking at Perish!) He wears his heart on his sleeve and has no issue speaking his mind. His birthday is 7 November (2018)

Chalk, who is a self-proclaimed Cross/Ink child (he is a fusion of their magic and what the creator of his AU did with it). He is a bit of a scatterbrain and loves to see people be passionate. At times it seems like he cannot shut up if his life depended on it. He can get incredibly protective over those he cares about. His birthday is 1 February (2019)

Azul, who is a Swap/Ink child. He is sweet and caring and is seemingly very naive, believing that there is something good in everyone. He is very eager to help and speaks a lot. He is Felony's latest ex. (If you look at the photo over the cut, you can see him looking at Felony) His birthday is 2 April (2019)

Light, who is a Silvaze child. She one of the few things I have left from my time in the Sonic fandom (not really lol). She was supposed to be really similar to Maria and parts of Mephelis were in her soul, waiting to be released and manipulating her in her head. I created her August 2016.

Darka, my first ever OC (As may be evident by her name. In my defense, I was just starting to learn English). She was an overpowered vampire and one of two beings to keep the balance between negativity and positivity. (no wonder I'm this drawn to Dreamtale) Her counterpart turned out to be a child and she couldn't kill him even though it was prophesized. For some reason it "never felt right to give her a boyfriend." (Guess why, younger me. You created her after seeing Marceline from Adventure Time once) I created her some time in 2015.

And my background characters. The first one is how I would personally draw an anon, then two of Felony's friends, some merchants, Elian, a character @canyougimmecoffeethx and I never really did much with and lastly Mr. Woodpecker (he's a pigeon) who is a teacher togehter with Charlie and Tobias. They wouldn't fit but you can see them on the other pic anyways.

If you want to see more of my background characters you can see some old art here and here!

If you made it this far into the post, thank you so much!! <3

[drew-mga2022mi6011]

Research | Charlie Chaplin : The Pioneer of Humour in Film

via Puttylike

Charlie Chaplin is world renowned as a professional mime, beloved actor and a connoisseur in the art of silent slapstick comedy. In actuality, it is not Sir Charles who is famous but his on-screen persona; The Tramp. To understand why he was successful - funny, if one will - one must first understand the genre conventions of slapstick comedy itself.

The most basic feature of slapstick is the pratfall, which can be defined as a fall in which the person lands on their bottom or an embarrassing defeat or failure. In Chaplin's films, this seems to happen at every moment. According to Caron (2006), this fall represents man being knocked down to the level of something sub-human, mocking the loss of one of the traits that separates humanity from other species. At another extreme, this technique could also lead to treating the body as inanimate; never truly displaying realistic signs of the falls that these characters suffer (a cartoon effect if you will). Occasionally, this sense of inanimation has the actor's body be represented as an object or a machine. In every state, this constitutes the descent from a state of full humanity to otherwise, being played as easy laughs.

Another feature of slapstick constitutes of exaggerated silly or playful behaviour, almost obeying the laws of cartoonish physics. In Chaplin's films particularly, he is portrayed as being "incompetent" in a sense. More than anything, slapstick plays with the definition of humans being rational creatures (Caron, 2006). So what has this study told us? In a broader sense it compares the conventions of slapstick comedy to ritual clowns, using Chaplin as an example to examine the psychology of its audiences. But the greater message that can be taken from this is the formula of writing slapstick comedy.

Returning to Chaplin, he was the first to create drama that was purely whole; projecting the inner consciousness to something that was material and tangible. He was known for his acting in earlier works but later, meticulously goes on to craft whole worlds for his films. He was the sole architect of his universe. In other words, he is a conceptualist (Faure, 1998). What makes his pieces work is nothing short of grand design; he pulls from his own life in its wretchedness and turns it around to make others laugh. He uses his own misery and morphs it into comedy through the sheer simplicity of his character. It is never maliciously, always good tempered. He does not scorn his misfortune, or cry at his plight. Charlie Chaplin works because he is one who laughs at himself.

Moving onto acting in general, the origins of the craft began during the renaissance, when puppets were being swapped out for the first actors. As acting evolved, a philosophical argument came about on the distinction between behaving and acting, both of which are psychological (Knox, 1946). At first glance, there may not be a difference, in fact behaviour when done right is the most profitable form of acting. Ultimately in Knox's book, he posits that acting is a combination of behaviour and interpretation.

Essentially, being able to play someone exactly to the script is certainly part of acting, but it does not make one a Chaplin. Chaplin was great because of his ability to tell stories through his movements, to exaggerate, to bewilder. To "become" Chaplin (or one as great as him), one must take what is there, and enhance it with what one thinks should be there. At least, that is what I gather.

From here it may be wise to find some of the better actors of our time and watch a few of their films. Another course of action would be to look into posing for drawing, since ultimately my final deliverable for this module is a book.

References

Caron, J.E. (2006). Silent Slapstick Film as Ritualized Clowning: The Example of Charlie Chaplin. Studies in American Humor, [online] (14), pp.5–22. Available at: https://www.jstor.org/stable/42573699 [Accessed 30 Jan. 2024].

Faure, E. (1998). The Art of Charlie Chaplin. New England Review (1990-), [online] 19(2), pp.146–151. Available at: https://www.jstor.org/stable/40243340.

Knox, A. (1946). Acting and Behaving. Hollywood Quarterly, 1(3), pp.260–269. doi:https://doi.org/10.2307/1209282.

[tinyravenfeathers]

Ceremony! By TinyRavenFeathers, your celebrant and ministeroni

Dearly beloved, who are all descended from pirates, we are gathered here today (while wearing colanders on our heads to prove our faith) to join chronicoverachiever and hug-them-trees in the semi-realistic and 45% holy bonds of matrimony under the auspices of Great Big Meatballs Itself, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, may Its Noodly Appendages never whither in vain.

Chronic and Hug, you have come here today of your own free will and, in the presence of your narwhals and space coconuts, have declared your love of Charlie Cox and commitment to this ongoing joke that is now, like, a month old.

As you know in the Pastafarian religion, there’s a beer volcano in heaven.  And you know who else likes a beer volcano?  Matt Murdock! You cannot tell me that Josie's beer wouldn't make an awesome Beer Volcano! And Matt Murdock, who is played by Charlie Cox and coincidentally, was the subject of a gif I added to a comment about keeping one’s temper that…and here’s where it gets weird!  caused these two awesome people to plan this trading of pasta-rings or at least of pixels, would definitely approve.  If that’s not pirate-y enough for you, chomp on this:  Beer Volcano Matt Murdock.  Bam.  You see what I’m cooking here?  It’s like the Flying Spaghetti Monster dripped marinara all over this!

And that’s what tumblr and Pastafarianism is all about!  It’s the pure serotonin that happens when mutuals get on the same wavelength and keep a bit going for about 100 posts. I don't know if it's actually been 100, I wasn't keeping track. Do you think I type like this all the time? No! No one else will read this, especially that dude from 20 years ago that I had a crush on who insinuated he'd like to read my fanfic and I really hope he doesn't, because it's a mess. There's no way it's going to make a good impression on him. Seriously, just an absolutely directionless three-legged dog of me trying to find myself as a writer. I'm just writing it to make myself happy.

It limps along but you know the thing about dogs? They never feel sorry for themselves. We see a three-legged dog and go 'awwww, poor puppy!' and the dog is like 'hey, I'm still moving and doing my thing, everything's copasetic!' And likewise, no one else has to read my stupid and ill-conceived double-derived drivel. It's mary-sue-esque, half-insert fluff and smut (and thanks for the encouragement in that area @jenksel ! You will be my downfall. Much love!) that probably tells people way too much about me and I'm constantly 20 minutes from nuking my entire online presence from orbit. Kill it with fire!

And hey, speaking of killing things with fire, I really do want to go to Burning Man, where apparently there's a metric ton of skinny people throwing an art show and being wacky in the desert. That's enough for anyone who's ever enjoyed a sammich to eventually have an existential crisis. They ought to fly the Samaritans out there just for moral support and occasional free rub-downs with SPF 80+. And now please notice that this nefarious plan will put elderly British people in the middle of the Nevada desert; if the juxtaposition of Burner culture and Colonizer culture is not comedic gold waiting to happen, I'll eat my stylish pirate hat. I'm hoping for Are You Being Served? but with sunburn.

Seriously though, deserts are dangerous on all levels for humans, which is why most of ancient humanity spent a ton of energy on leaving the freaking desert.

But one thing my extensive research about Burning Man has turned up: You are responsible for your well-being. Eat the strawberries if a tiger is coming for you, babes. Write the words, dance in the moonlight, drink the mead, crush on the person you might have had a chance with, or the ones that will never know your name. Take responsibility for your own happiness.  Whatever you decide to do, the Flying Spaghetti Monster hopes you will maximize your well-being and the well-being of all sentient beings, on this, your 45% of a special day and every day.

Thus, by the powers vested in me by the interwebs, webber-netters, Charlie Cox although he doesn’t know it, Matt Murdock who knows it even less,  AskANinja, and the Flying Spaghetti Monster Itself, I now pronounce you person and other person and maybe Charlie Cox even though he's already married and Catholic to boot, we won't hold that against him. You may now trade pasta-rings if you got them, pixels if you don’t. The shoes and Cadbury eggs are for everybody.

Rock on. R'Amen!

-----

@chronicoverachiever @hug-them-trees

I'm scheduling this for as early as possible on August 13th so it will appear first thing on your dash. Right now it's 11 PM on the 12th for me, so I'm going to bed!

Much love,

Tiny

[incorrectdmp]

DMP SEASON 4 EPISODE 9 OUT OF CONTEXT SPOILERS

okay so like. i’m GENUINELY sorry that i haven’t been updating this blog a lot outside of ooc spoilers. genuinely my sense of time rn is so messed up that i think i’m updating it semi-frequently then realize i only did one round of quotes before a new episode drops lol. didn’t even do anything for last episode my sense of time is just utterly fucked. so sorry hahaha i can’t promise i’ll try to remember things but. i still love this blog i’m just drifting outside of space and time atm

spoilers ahead as normal but honestly this episode was so chill and vibin you could PROBABLY read this update without watching and wouldn’t be majorly spoiled for much. ngl this is one of my fav ooc spoilers because not much super intense happened so i was able to capture most of the shenanigans through memes

-charlie, probably (made by pip for space game. Saved it in advance knowing it was spoilers for this episode lol)

I’m pretty sure tasting the colour pink is just peptol bismol

Charlie has reached a new low 2 episodes after the pizza image, somehow

“Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage” -thorin

Alex’s nickname on the fanserver sure is real awkward now

Charlie is a weeb. next up, the sky is blue

I mean. If YOU gained god powers don’t tell me you WOULDN’T watch every anime in existence

The biggest tonal dissonance between the art and the music i’ve ever seen

-art by cam

Cant believe zephi is cg’s friend from work

NO TEARS. ONLY YOGA

My therapist: calm voice CG isn’t real he can’t hurt you. Calm voice CG:

Even the void is not immune to capitalism

COMPETITIVE YOGA

GAY PANIC TIME, THE FRIEND FROM WORK HAS ARRIVED

Vinny is phoenix wright 

Junior is denied playing with dogs by virtue of not being in the show. Shame.

Thorin being left alone with zephi, this could only end well. Just look how minerva ended up!

Vinny straight up admits he’s willing to kill a dog

“Ezra, yay or nay about val’s area” 

Miss Charlie steal yo girl

“I fucked your girl shitlips” -charlie, probably

Maybe ONE day the space jam scenario will see the light of day

Welcome to FUCK IT

The local mall cryptid returns at last

Two legends make a triumphant return: junior no last name and the gazebo

Junior nolastname can legally swear

Chuck. 

How dare you make me sad over one piece jokes

Just Starbucks

After months of CG and grace being the best goddamn dynamic in the show despite it being ENTIRELY noncanon they GET TO FUCKING INTERACT IN THE SHOW

Alex’s hyena laugh my beloved

Paul blart flesh mall

Do not investigate the meat

Yugo wasn’t dead, he was just put in gay baby jail for a nap

-cam

ALEX BE DROPPIN HOT BARS THO

Tommathan 

Hailey gets struck by the apollo ball

Yknow. A proposal. As a friend. She put a ring on it. As a friend. 

Tommy and angalena h*ld h*nds

Sometimes ur just so depressed you dont realize ur girlfriend proposed to you in a romantic way

Perhaps, just once, the girls will not be fighting

TACTICAL STEALTH EZRA

“It’s like i’m a WEBSERIES CHARACTER” -hailey looks directly at the camera

DAD TIME

Dads havin a good dad talk. I’m just vibin to this music

“The surrealism of it made me nearly scream”

Daily reminder that percy blackwood punched a kid at sunday school

Things gettin spicy in this mattress store ;)

Val averts thine eyes, at the disappointment of the fans

TOES TIME

Kingdom hearts called, it wants its belts back

Dmp would be instantly solved if junior hadnt been demoted to mall cryptid. Bitch been on screen for like 5 minutes and he’s goin full cinemasins on CG’s ass

Jesus canon to dmp

Junior decided to test god, he fucks around and finds out

CG throwing a temper tantrum and ripping apart his dolls like an angy 5 year old

(bitch), CG edition

THAT’S IT YOU’RE GOING TO SPENCERS

Eternal gazebo time

HOLY SHIT???? People go to malls to SHOP???

oh wow! [eldritch screeching] my favourite pokemon!!!

HAIR SWOOSH GANG

Oh noooooooo my two favs are talking whatever will i dooooooooooo

Yall are really just gonna shove doc’s corpse into a pretzel box huh

Charlie just progresses more and more into being comically small and sad

Rip the mall announcer, lost to the parking lot. We barely knew you

Charlie is a basic bitch, we been knew

Yeahhhh no cg sure as hell aint human. No human being would reasonably wear THAT

[master-john-uk]

Hello Sir,

I am sorry to read about your cousin's health.

How did your "big" family Christmas go?

Christmas Day was marvelous, thank you for asking.

I think i put in earlier post that, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a big family row... I was right!

After I retired to my bed chamber... beloved cousin Richard had some high-volume discussions with his own son and our two stockbroker cousins. Richard was driven home by Uncle Charlie's chauffeur at about 2am.

Richard's behaviour surprised me. He has always been a little argumentative, but the combination of his chemo, steroid tablets and a large quantity of red wine made him hyperactive... and bad tempered.

Richard is fine now. After coming-down from the steroids, he has spent most of this week sleeping. I hope to meet him for a drink tomorrow afternoon. Then it all starts again later in the week with chemo and steroids... but. I will try to discourage him from drinking red wine!

My stockbroker cousins are still the same as they always were, wankers!