#characters who only exist as PNGs my beloved

[fraudulent-cheese]

I've seen someone on here say "oh Mary is Harold post transition" a while ago, and not only do i disagree, i bring you a counter argument:

Do you. Do you guys see the resemblance

Recently adopted the “Mary was Pixie Corpse's normie phase” headcanon and i am not letting it go i think oops

[ssruis]

I think a ruikasa/wxs howls moving castle au has potential but only if you like. Make a huge mess of the plot. Just really fuck it up. Replace the story/role of several characters with something completely different that you made up.

- Tsukasa gets cursed for kind of being an asshole (to a witch that came into the restaurant he runs w saki. As is his right as a service worker.) (he still does theatre in this au) w something that slowly turns his heart to stone and in a canon typical tsukasa way goes “I am going to solve this problem on my own through sheer stubbornness/determination”, leaves a note for saki like “brb nothings wrong don’t worry about it :)” and goes to hunt down the wizard’s weird fucking castle sighted roaming the nearby wilderness everyone is freaked out about

- emu replaces turnip head but she got turned into a talking bunny with very few of her memories because it’s cute and I refuse to make an au where she can’t talk for 99% of the story. Tsukasa frees her from a tangled up net and she follows him bc she can’t figure out how to break her own curse so she might as well follow this goofy guy and see if the wizard can help her too

- nene as calcifer & rui as howl, nene (a witch) was cursed to die 300 yrs ago after freezing while performing for a (more powerful and significantly more cruel) witch -> rui prevented her death by figuring out a way to give her his own life force/soul/heart/whatever at the cost of her existing as a soul without a body, she keeps him alive through giving him her magic. Hard to explain. Whatever. Fullmetal alchemist vibes? We’re going on a quest to get your body back nene. They’re both functionally immortal but if one dies so does the other. She exists as a flame that operates the castle (nenerobo reference…)

- rui has been attempting to hunt down a way to reverse the curse while also fucking with the government that began cracking down harshly on magic usage after the beloved princess went missing with the evidence pointing to a witch or wizard as the culprit. Idk. Potentially pulling in soul eater inspiration with a war against witches… as a treat… rui interfering on both sides of the fight

- mfw I just wanted to do silly shows with my silly robots and now I’ve been alive for 300 years making zero progress on breaking a curse but at least I can use magic now (rui) vs mfw I messed up one thing and now I don’t have a body and I’m forced to watch my friend run himself into the ground trying to fix what should never have been his problem (nene). Canon typical nene guilt complex/rui giving nene a way to get around her issue that doesn’t help her grow. You understand.

- the kidnapped princess is emu she just forgot

- tsukasa catches up to the castle and enters it (bitch you live like this dot png) and emu discovers nene and drags her into a conversation. They discuss the curses and nene’s basically like (internally) ykw we’ve made no progress on our own maybe if we look into the curses you guys are under we’ll figure out our own on the way. (Externally) maybe having an idiot around will give rui some ideas. In return you can clean this place.

- emunene will be in this au what do u take me for. Emu entertains nene and helps her grow more confident, nene helps emu sort through her memories and more negative emotions.

- the flying over the town scene does happen (rui saves tsukasa (before tsukasa gets cursed) from a bunch of weird creatures created by the witch who later curses him) so when rui gets home and walks into the convo btwn emu/nene/tsukasa it’s essentially

Tsukasa: YOU!???

Rui: hello nice to see you again :) now please leave

Nene: I already hired him as a house keeper

Rui: but we don’t need a house keeper?

Nene: rui those dishes have been in the sink for a month

- plot happens I’m not rewatching hmc to figure this out (lying. I’ll probably do it even if I don’t do anything with this au)

- the cure for the curse for all of them essentially requires personal growth which is why I think making miku a witch that cursed all of them to inspire this/put in motion the events that would lead to them meeting is a funny idea. Not one I’m going to go with but it’s funny.

- the effect of the curse on rui was like… draining him of his passion for shows/inventing and his emotions which tsukasa helps bring back, and rui makes tsukasa realize why he loves theatre so much

- maybe tsukasa actually gets cursed by being egotistical like I will outshine everyone I’m the greatest world future star lalala (is cursed because the witch finds his lack of humility deeply grating and/or is insulted by the implication that this random guy is superior to her) oh shit

- leaning towards the witch being meiko just for funsies although kaito is also not a bad choice.

- drawback of rui using magic as someone who is not meant to be using magic is that the more magic he uses the more he’s turned into a weird bird cat beast (& the transformation back becomes harder and harder)

- one issue I have with a 1:1 hmc au is that like… rui and howl only share surface level similarities. If I wanted howl level dramatics in my story tsukasa would have to be howl which would require significantly more fucking around with the plot because rui would NOT do what Sophie did. Howl can be tsukasa but rui cannot be Sophie. Do u understand. Emunene has potential but unfortunately ruikasa fits the howl/sophie dynamic best. You know? You know. Tsukasa would get cursed and go on a quest and be perfectly fine cleaning the house of a guy who leaves food stains on the counter & never cleans them up if it meant he could lift the curse. I think if rui “canonically hates cleaning” kamishiro had to clean an atrociously messy house (disregarding the fact that tsukasa would not live like that) he would die.

- but rui also would not turn into a pile of slime because his hair got fucked up. That’s a tsukasa thing. Gestures at the card story where tsukasa is Pissed rui fucked up his hair with an explosion. I’m sure somewhere in the au over the course of canon typical rui fucking w tsukasa with his experiments I’ll work in a joke about that.

- I think in general the issue with a 1:1 au is you have to erase too much of the characters you’re inserting into the world to make things happen which is boring. U gotta change stuff. Unfortunately this leads to taking inspiration from like 4 different sources to make things work which is a huge pain in the ass and requires actual planning to create a coherent plot

- together wxs can make this moving castle a moving home :) just kidding they can’t all live together. tsukasa has to go home to saki and emu has to let her family know she’s ok. Also the lifting of the curse gives nene her body and her magic back/gives rui his life force back so 1) they’re no longer immortal 2) rui can no longer use magic (he’s fine w this he basically just used it to make truly impossible mechanical feats happen which he can figure out how to do without magic) 3) this results in the castle falling apart

- rui just moves in with tsukasa and works as a mechanic and nene moves to a nice calm cabin that emu essentially lives in when she isn’t needed to do princess stuff. They probably form a theatre troupe that eventually picks up as well & nene and rui can collab on a new moving castle to travel around if they do desire.

- why is this so scattered you may be asking. It’s because I had given this like 2 hours of thought at 2am before typing this out the next evening and had several more ideas as I typed. Firm believer that good ideas only arrive when you are sleep deprived and have given very little thought to what you’re laying out.

- I want an au that is shorter than the other aus I have so if I elect to actually write something I’ll have an easier time -> oh this is kinda getting out of hand -> god fucking damnit I did it again. Truly incapable of not making an au that has like 30 different plot threads.

[ozymandiasdirge]

character meme do snake and vegeta

for my sweet sweet boy david snake

First impression: after peripheral awareness of metal gear solid existing for ten years, in 2008 i was playing brawl on my friends wii and was like.....who is real human man caked up with a gun in my silly nintendo party fighter. and then i shot pokemon trainer with a nikita missile and it was love at first sight 💖

Impression now: he's the wolf, he's the lamb, he's the sheep dog he's the shepherd, he's jesus christ. he's done unspeakale horrors he's a monument to the innate kindness of human beings in the face of mistreatment every parental figure in his life. he's been married for a decade and had a child with a man who i know owns more than one horny dakimura. he's the first video game character to ever say the word bisexual. he loves dogs. he's a clone of his father. his father who ignored him his entire life only told him he was his father to manipulate him before snake burned him alive with a macguyvered zippo flamethrower. kojima spend months modeling his ass. literally character of all time.

Favorite moment: "i'm not like you, i love life" "life is worth living even when it hurts you, even when you hurt it." everytime he does that shoulder grab and soulful eye stare at otacon, sunny, or raiden when they're filled with despair.

Idea for a story: he lives another happy fifty healthy years after the end of mgs4 i know this i learned this in a psychic attack from kojima.

Unpopular opinion: people who look at this man and see someone other than a bottom.....girl i cannot help you.

Favorite relationship: otasune my beloved. also him and sunny (father and daughter of all time 🥺🥺🥺, him and raiden (weh), whatever deranged shit he and kaz had going on take that how you will, and him and frankie 😩😩😩

Favorite headcanon: i have never gotten over that one post about hal putting on the first pokemon movie for sunny and dave seeing it and fully cat crying dot png because mewtwo's just like him fr

idiot boy vegeta

First impression: me @ the age of 6 watching toonami at my cousin's house: who is this infinitesimal crying man being beaten to death in front of me.

Impression now: worst galactically wanted planet destroyer princess alive 💖💖💖💖💖💖 i love him so bad.

Favorite moment: his majin arc was so insane he was sooooo #gonegirl, gatekeep, girlboss i love gay divorce.

Idea for a story: vegeta doesn't get inflicted with toriyama's comp het. actualy just apply that to every dragon ball character.

Unpopular opinion: i understand it's like...better for his mental health and i like the concept but like........i wish his character arc had ended with "i dont have to be better than goku" rather than "goku will always bee better than me" like.....thanks i hate that

Favorite relationship: goku and vegeta unfortunately, he and bulma but as people who used to to fuck because they're both stone cold 10's and now they are just little haters together, if i was toriyama i would have done a whole lot more with him and gohan given that they literally have the same backstory, him and piccolo and chichi should have a bitch4bitch4bitch club i would be so down, him and raditz because it makes me insane, him and freeza but only when they focus on his horrifically unpacked trauma and make vegeta shake like a pursedog and then he kills freeza, oh and him and tarble because what the fuck they literally never did anything with that.

Favorite headcanon: okay read above most of my headcanon's got put up there 😭😭😭

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Witcher of the Night (Chapter 13)

THIS IS MODERN ERA READER WHO WOKE UP IN THE DIMENSION OF THE WITCHER.

CHAPTER 12

WITCHER OF THE NIGHT MASTERLIST

Characters: Geralt of Rivia x small!Naive!Reader

Summary: Your existence in their world had reasons. A purpose that involves the contentment that Geralt never found in the world that he was in. The feelings you have for your witcher makes you feel things that you haven’t experienced yet, desires that make you feel sorts of things as it also was a cause of the Cicatrix that laid in between your chest. The question is, were you on the same page as Geralt is? or was it just a misunderstanding prior to that night?

Warnings: Soft and smiley Geralt! (*rolls on the ground*), Sexual Implications, a needy reader, an annoying bard, MODERN references, mention of Divergent, grumpy Geralt, a soft-touchy-feely reader. FLOOFY chapter! Insecure reader tho. 😭 Harry potter and Lord of the Rings references. HAHA!

Words: 8.5k (Well, Hello long ass chapter)

A/N: THERE’S STILL CHAPTER 13.1 BEFORE THE SMUT. AHE. Sorry for the delay. Happy mother’s day to all the mothers out there! Y’all are the best and real superheroes! If this chapter didn’t make you smile, then this means I am a failure for everyone! 😂💖

TAGLIST IS STILL OPEN FOR THIS ONE! Heehee! Don’t forget to REBLOG, COMMENT OR GIVE FEEDBACK IF YOU DID LOVE THIS CHAPTER! IT’LL MAKE ME SMILE!

Disclaimer: PNG’s used in edits are not mine even the GIF’s too. However, the edits and oneshots are definitely from moi. Characters, places and said monsters aren’t from moi as well. GIF’s INCLUDED ARE CREDITED TO THOSE WHO MADE THEM! I DO NOT OWN THEM!

MY WORKS ARE NOT NOT NOT NOT NOOOOOOT TO BE POSTED ON ANY OTHER WEBSITES. My official username in Wattpad is “TATATHEPOTATO” and that’s the only other site I have for writing aside from Tumblr. Thank you, Tater tots!

KISSING GERALT HAS BEEN SUCH A DREAM. The kiss felt like you were in seventh heaven and it also kept your mind wide awake the whole night; even with Geralt by your side with his lulling monster stories and those gentle fingers raking your hair like how he always does.

The gesture even made you a little more giddy than ever and Geralt didn't seem to mind as you've kept yourself wide awake; watching him sleep and never keeping him out of sight.

Though, he'd eventually covered those coy eyes of yours because it was bothering him; coaxing you to stop staring and just have your beauty slumber because you needed all the energy for your training.

A training that you thought would be for Cirilla because they've always had their swordplay fights before the sun rises and sometimes in the middle of a beautiful morning; as you watch Geralt in discreet as he wields his sword like how the waves move in the ocean. Very satisfying to ogle and observe.

The way he handles a sword was perfectly smooth and bland like how your coffee tastes in the morning.

Which is why your face was scrunched in peculiarity when he was done with Cirilla's training; giving the smaller silver sword to you with that reticent expression on his face; his habitual tight-lips now relaxed as he eyed you back with that tender gaze he holds whenever you were there.

An image you weren't used to; but may seem to wish it would be there forever because of how soft he appeared for you to see, not his usual brooding and serious persona.

"This is a very nice first date," you sarcastically muttered; wanting to scoff and whine from how unusual it was to receive training from the witcher like you were some sort of Tris Prior in the world of Divergents.

After the kiss last night, you've expected him to give you flowers, gifts, kisses or maybe more of his attention. Howbeit, you'd remember that you weren't in your world and that he wasn't a typical man who'd woo women like that. Geralt was probably a man whom women has been trying to court just to have his attention based on how beautiful and captivating he was.

Were you his beloved now? A girlfriend? his lover? you actually had no idea and chose to stay silent. Never asking anything more as to not ruin his good mood as he woke up in the morning.

Geralt didn't specifically told you anything about being his beloved. The only thing you understood in his words last night was that you were important to him and that he also cared.

Perhaps, he doesn't roll that way. The witcher wasn't particularly that type of man.

Therefore, you left it at that although it was dithering your heart. You were contented whether how ill-defined your position was in his heart.

"Why am I doing this again, Geralt?"

The latter silently watched you fidget with the sword on your hands, your cheeks puffed from how strange you thought his favors may be. He couldn't help but give you a beam that showed his teeth, his emotions thoroughly in a bliss after the night he confessed; parts of his aggression lifting up his chest, "The bard knows how to fight with his dagger," he adhered strictly to the fact, keeping the sword safely on his side.

Those lips of yours jutted in an opposing pout; your eyes seeming to connect with his spellbinding ones while he continued to wheedle, his cat-eyes curving into a soft shape of a crescent and you were totally enamored. Your heart skipping a beat when he was never breaking his gaze away; giving your stomach the heebie-jeebies, "---Cirilla is finally learning the techniques of using a sword,"

Your mouth was now turned into a tight-lipped one, shaking your head from the idea he wanted as you scrunched your nose further, "And I am better watching you and Cirilla have your little sword play fight," pause. "---I'm not going to fight anyone,"

You've continuously shook your head, tutting at the brilliant idea he'd tried to think of. Though, Geralt was adamant for his preposition; seeming to think the idea won't get you stabbing him accidentally or better yet, yourself.

"We can't be certain that there wouldn't be," he proclaimed, utterly determined.

You huffed out a frustrated breath, face falling right in the middle of the meadow as Geralt stood before you. His comely stature shining against the morning light and you were sure you've been blinded, "Right. Bad people are chasing you still,"

A bashful look has been unintentionally given to the witcher, lighting up an amused crooked smile and hum from the latter as he stayed completely taciturn, admiring the shy woman that stood before him.

You've suddenly felt him shift, turning your focus back at the Herculean, white haired Legolas as he'd languidly took a step back, looking calm and composed as he firmly ordered. His smile falling, turning all ruminative.

"Hit me."

More complaints were sent for what he requested, finding the whole ordeal somehow lamented because all you ever held was a pen, paper or laptops that certainly doesn't deal with people shedding blood unless you stab a pen at them. Sure, you've dreamt of fighting in combat in fantasy series or movies; but in your imagination, you were skilled. The version of yourself that you had in your dreams had talent and the one you have today only had idiotical abilities to plot your own demise because of how foolish you were in their world.

"Can't I fight with Jaskier?"

Geralt cocked his head to the side; in utter amusement as a small smile carved his pretty, luscious lips that grabbed all your attention. The witcher immediately noticed and had a smug glint in his amber eyes as he talked, "If you wish to annoy people and woo the king then he is excellent at it," pause. "---You wouldn't learn how to use a real sword from the bard. Unless, using a lute as a form of weapon in the middle of a royal banquet is your choice of fighting then Jaskier would do a great job,"

Thus, from the moment Geralt has made his utterance, Jaskier somehow had the luckiest time on planning to feed Roach as he emerged from the doorway, ceasing himself from sending a teasing ridicule as his name has been called in vain; backstabbing him by finding entertainment from how he tried shielding himself from the incident back in the years.

"I've never received any compliments from you don't you, witcher?" he hollered back, enclosing his mouth with a hand as he called from afar; a bucket full of Roach's food on the other.

Jaskier seen Geralt shake his head, a surprising beam drawing his face as the witcher playfully wisecracked out loud, "You don't need them, Jaskier."

The harmless banter made Jaskier pucker his lips in surprise, never anticipating how he'd gradually changed from being the brooding, reserved witcher to the grinning, active man he was seeing as he was teaching a woman who had no inspiration on learning the techniques of sword fighting.

Geralt simply turned his head to see you awkwardly holding onto the base of Cirilla's sword; having a gawky, hunched stance and the witcher took heed of it but chose not to correct it yet. You were dubious of even holding a sword and also a lot more hesitant as you've tried to strike a blow at his face. Without effort, he'd simply dodged the attack with one hand using minimal strength. The swords instantaneously crashing against each other with a satisfying ring of metals colliding.

Unfortunately, the weapon flew out of your hands as he'd dodged your strike, shamefully falling on the ground with a soft thud. Geralt snapped his eyes at the sword that fell from your hands before feeling his eyes turn to you, "Midget." he calmly scolded, having at least a massive amount of patience for you, "---Take it easy." you'd heard him advice. Baritone timbre soft but still rough which stirred that familiar warmth pooling just below your stomach; heart beat stumping upon your chest because of how you were worried it would obscenely pool in between your thighs. Just the thought of Geralt's presence kindled with the fire raging your insides.

You've never had felt any such strong desire for a man other than the witcher himself and it was beginning to grow frightening because of how you wanted him so bad; the kiss you had probably triggering something inside of you that didn't know it existed.

Maybe, it was probably horny hours like how you had them back in your apartment. The problem here was that you finally had a man to do it with, but you weren't sure if he also desired for you the same way as you do.

What if he only wanted you for companionship? Perhaps, he'll somehow find you boring like how your dates went back in earth when the time comes?

You didn't notice Geralt has grabbed onto the sword that flew right out of your hands, sauntering towards where you were and his presence lingering a little too close for those kindling flames aggravating that desire you had when his voice vibrated from behind.

"Also, try harder."

Despite of how enormously tall and brawny he was, the witcher leaned down to grab onto your hand, his rough fingers caressing yours that was sparking up the flames as it felt so gentle. He placed the handle of the sword onto your palm, delicately dragging the other to hold onto the base. Those calloused palms of his enclosing yours in a warm embrace as his warmth from behind seemed to turn more quenchless as time goes by, a sudden hunger flooding your system as your body turned putty with just a simple touch.

You've felt your throat run dry, stance turning standoffish when he'd loomed behind you. Heavily aware of his presence. Your voice cracking and stuttering as you mindlessly thought out loud, trying to wash the vulgar thoughts away, "I--I--I am! It's just that you've given me a real sword for practice!"

Geralt reiterated; utterly droning, "It's lighter than mine," with a simple raise of his brow as he stood behind you, his face inches close and you could feel his stare completely immense, making you look away from how flushed your face have been, "Even so! It can hurt anyone! Can't I learn witchcraft instead? I’ll be the potato version of Hermione Granger! It’s impossible that your world has no Voldemort! Expecto Patronum! Avada Kedavra!"

The preposition was hurriedly rejected with just Geralt's smile turning upside down; replaced with a scowl that coaxed you to turn your head to see him shaking his head with his face approximately close to yours; those amber eyes trying to melt your heart as he still had that vivid, affectionate dewdrop clustering in those peepers that provoked a satisfied sigh out of your ajar mouth.

His pitch suddenly turned austere; mouth tight-lipped as he quoted, "You will not use any ounce of sorcery from my world," you've seen the side of his lip turn into a smirk as he haughtily added, "---Alas, you are also too clumsy and impulsive for it,"

Geralt grudgingly moved his face an inch away; not before seeing a sight of him taking glimpses of your ajar lips as you awaited to be kissed by the witcher himself; howbeit, he chose to tease and ignored the accented feelings he had been trying to hide since the first day.

The latter surprisingly gave a chortle, his chuckle sounding heavenly amongst the birds chirping in the background, "How dare you?!"

He gave your hands consolatory pats as it was already surrounding the base of the sword. Geralt straightened his back, his thumbs casually giving the back of your hand a soft caress before taking heed of your silent squealing from his seraphic touches, "Hold the sword with your dominant hand, midget." before he took a step back away and muttering a mocking repartee, "---Maybe a Hirikka will be a better combatant than you,"

You've watched him waltzed back to where he was as he stood in front of you with a grin on his face, "I shouldn't have accepted your apology last night." you deadpanned with your eyebrows furrowed from how riled up and entirely flustered you were feeling early in the morning.

The witcher tipped his head with his smug grin, "You didn't. I just knew you would because you never get to have your nap without receiving cuddles and chill from me,"

You've feigned a gasp, unclasping your hold around the sword as you placed your palms around your hip, giving him a sassy posture of how you were appalling by the truth that he suddenly was giving; thoroughly surprised by his sudden pesky, frolic attitude he seemed to vibe. He was learning from your modern references and it shocked you even more.

"It was cold last night!"

"The night is also dark," He ridiculed and mocked what you've said to him last night while he was asking for forgiveness. His teeth slipped against the cardinal pillows of his lips, giving you a gorgeous toothy grin that made your breath hitch as if his aesthetics radiated off the sun light, "---You needed my warmth, midget."

A playful glare was sent to the witcher; intentionally keeping up with his mockeries as you gave a chuff and found his mischief rather entertaining because he rarely acts the way he is right now, "Are you a furnace? No. You aren't, Geralt of Rivia. Don't act like raking those fingers of yours through my hair doesn't help you sleep at night---"

"But, I'm your furnace amidst the benumbing night."

You couldn't help but giggle from his innocuous pick up line, utterly finding it amusing and endearing when you've understood it way differently despite of how ingenuous he wanted it to sound.

Their era and how they communicate was certainly giving you a good ol' laugh.

"Are you calling yourself hot?"

Geralt couldn't help but outstare; gawking from the dazzling laugh you've mindlessly given him. He was oblivious of his beguiling beams he has been making you see and the gaze that bewitched the morose of his spirit, puzzling how a mere person could take away the misery that has been haunting him since the moment his mother has left him alone to become a witcher in their world and a lot more great affliction he'd somehow experienced.

Presumably, your existence in their world had reasons.

Hence, the witcher knew it involved his happiness.

"Now, keep your stance firm," he snapped out of his daydream, gently tapping the tip of his sword on your thigh which erupted a squeak and a tiny whine from you, "---I can't always be with you when you are attacked by anyone who wants my family dead,"

You tilted your head to the side, cheekily wiggling your eyebrows as you grinned up at him like a Cheshire cat as he shook his head from your playfulness, "Did you just lowkey tell me that you treat me as family?"

"Would you want it to be that way then?"

Another failed attempt of giving a successful, strong blow has been swung towards the latter, easily stepping one foot back as he blocked the smite with one hand. Though, you hadn't let the sword fly out of your hands this time which Geralt considered as slight improvement for being taught in the first day.

"Hmm. Again." he'd given an entranced hum, giving a tight lipped smile as he affirmed and tried to wriggle out more strength from you because it was pretty much a reluctant strike as well.

You've straightened your back, keeping your feet loosely away from each other as you sighed an exasperated one. The sword falling on your side as you wanted a truce. Feckless of the pout you were giving to the witcher who was too persistent in giving your body an ache from the training. Geralt raised a brow, seeming to enjoy your whining and allegations from the moment he'd given you a sword.

"Stop puckering your lips like that. I'm not giving you a buss when you're acting like a chit,"

A buss. It sounded pretty much familiar as it was used in those romance books you've read back in earth. His straightforwardness tickling your spine in a delicious way that got you flustered for the tenth time this day. You know your eyebrows rose up till your hairline from how he was assuming things that were actually the truth, "Did that mean a kiss?! I--I wasn't asking for a kiss though!"

"Then, acting adorable won't let you get away from this."

You've groaned out loud; fighting yourself off from stomping your foot out in utter vexation from how he'd always seem to knew what you were thinking. Were you that obvious?

"I hate you,"

Geralt took a stroll towards you, thoroughly leaning down to your height with a cross of his prodigious arms; the sword still in his fist and watching how he'd closely stared into your eyes as he fought off a smile, "The hate is quite indistinct and difficult to tell after you've been kissed last night,"

Your heart wanted to burst from the embarrassment, feeling your face turning into flames. Just add a little bit of oil and people could probably fry anything they wanted to as they use your face as a pan.

Reprehension would have escaped your lips if a hand hasn't clutched onto the side of your neck, his hot breath assaulting your face before you've felt his lips on yours in a hot second; never giving you time to process everything as he broke the buss with a sweet, tinge sound that seemed more soundly in your ears rather than swords colliding in a battle.

His hand behind your nape left in haste, straightening his back and shoulders; acting like he hadn't done anything wrong nor he continued to act like he didn't even give you a small, plain peck to the lips that gave a startle and somehow positioned you into a blissful, heart exploding condition.

"You don't dislike me, midget." Geralt's expressions were indescribable. His features stoic for five seconds before seeing his lips turning into a gloaty smirk as he spun in his heels, leaving you dumbstruck from the surprise.

"G-GERALT! That's not fair!" you stood rooted on the ground, keeping your lips together as you smacked it out loud like you couldn't believe he'd given you another kiss to ruin your ovaries and focus.

He strolled along the meadow, his emotions flying elsewhere as he was entirely finding your reactions hilarious. Geralt walked the path back to where he stood before, turning around in face-front to see your face all red and giving him the stink-eye, "Nothing is ever fair. Now, use all your strength to hit me with your sword."

You tightly grabbed onto your sword with both hands, listening to how he'd told you it should be held and also thoroughly remembering the basics that he told you prior; keeping your stance better than the one you held a while ago, watching how his face lit up as yours turned serious and challenging, "Oh, I will! You're a cocky witcher today and it's annoying!"

Jaskier have fed Roach back in the stable, he walked back to the doorway to see Cirilla leaning her back on the stone walls, arms crossed with a smile that tells how amused she was as she watched how you were trying to strike a successful blow at the witcher who found your lack of knowledge utterly astonishing and endearing; regardless of how he has been fond of having lovers which were strongly independent and knew how to stay alive in a battle.

You were a paradox to his life. Utterly questionable as to why you have even arrived.

"He's not teaching her how to fight," Cirilla admitted towards the bard who subtly nodded beside her, also watching the quote training unquote that you had with the white wolf. Yet, both of them could see how his way of teaching seemed to be less harsh than how they've been taught. Totally aware of how he was also buoyant rather than serious and brooding.

It was like a different Geralt that loom before them as he tutted and shook his head to cease your reckless attempts of trying to hit him with the sword; grabbing onto your fingers to cease you as he explained with a relaxed face he'd given while all you could do was glare and huff back.

Jaskier gave a small smile, eyes narrowed from how the sunshine hits his face and mindlessly tapped the handle of the bucket with his index finger, "The witcher is flirting with the rat, probably want some bonking,"

The lion cub of Cintra gave him a once over, "Some what, bard?"

"Forget what I said,"

Cirilla brushed him off as she went on with her lurking, Something you said ignited a grin out of the witcher as he quietly listened to your rants and rambles about how annoying he have been, "Also, this is the first time I'd seen Geralt smiling like that again. I hope she doesn't leave. I'll do everything for her not to leave,"

The bard gave a nod of understanding. Deeply thinking as to why Cirilla would do everything in her willpower for you not to leave; hence, seeing the smile that Geralt has given you was a simple answer as to why you needed more protecting and a lot more time to stay. Would it be selfish of them when you probably had a family back in your world?

Thus, Jaskier's gaze lingered on you and saw how you giggled back at the witcher who has said something that made him scowl. The mere sight of you strumming along the rakish onslaught of his heart strings from the week that Geralt wasn't around bothered him but he chose the better of it and ignored.

"But, isn't it strange?---" he momentarily ceased, snapping his gaze away from you as Cirilla gave him a nasty lour for whatever thoughts he wanted to say out loud, "---That your step-mother would be pretty much smaller than you?"

The child loudly groaned in response, turning her back away from him as she pulled the doors to go in, "You are honestly the most irritating person in the continent,"

The day has been pretty much a blur. After being trained by the witcher no matter how many failed attempts you tried; his patience utterly high for you to even comprehend that he had a lofty tolerance for your inability to successfully strike a sword.

Your arms were somehow sore, considering the amount of attempts that Geralt has been repeatedly telling you to just hit him with all your might, yet being active in the battlefield will never be your forte. He tried giving you hope, downright telling you that it was normal and everyone improves sooner or later as long as your training had consistency.

You've been a bitchy-pants after the training. All catty and stopping yourself from sending a t-bird for the bard who received a snide remark and decided to send irritating teases that you were just being sexually frustrated.

Simply to say, Jaskier knew you were having your horny hours. That time of the day or that day of the week.

How'd he know? you had no idea. It was probably only his guesses as to why you were acting bitchy towards everyone except Kolby and Cirilla. You were being bitchy towards the men of the house especially at Geralt who has given you body soreness.

If only it was a different type of ache, you would probably not be bitchy.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you sat your back along the walls of the hallway, the only place where you've found peace because walking in the first floor even got you vexed because Jaskier seem to find your irritation amusing and had been running his mouth about how it was fine to just give in to your fantasies especially that the witcher probably had wanted it as well since the first day.

You were contemplating whether or not to turn on your cellphone; remembering how it was only at seventy-five percent. You've stared on your phone that rested on your hands, spinning it around as you were trying to fight off the kept fervor that has been insatiable and a bother when Geralt has given you one touch.

The feelings and emotions have been skyrocketing, it was already there even just from the start of your morning. However, after going home from the Djinn troubles, it started doubling and began to grow bestial like a monster wanted to come out of your chest from how you badly needed the witcher.

It just wasn't normal.

Geralt was entirely aware of your vexation. Though, he was meters apart from you and was actually outside to take care of Roach. Inside his chest, he felt an ounce of disturbance with the help of your irritations and frustrations; the sensations coming back again and the witcher still had no idea why.

He knew where you were and decided to find you. Finding a midget hunched in the middle of the hallways with her brows tightly furrowed, a worried pout on her face and blown cheeks as you fidgeted with your phone.

Geralt fought the urge of smirking and just sauntered to where you were, his heart beat beating in blissful thumps that got him wondering how it was even possible in just the sight of you.

You've felt his presence looming before your stooping form, a stink eye was given to the witcher who crouched in front of you, his burning gaze solely on you as he cocked his head to the side, observing your face and the state you were in with a smile growing on his face.

"You're annoyed." he artlessly admitted, never risking to leave your sight.

You scoffed, shaking your head as you felt the burning desire grow even further, turning away to help your poor little heart from feeling more bothered than it ever intended to, "How'd you know, Legolas?"

The nasally mention of that nickname you had for him got Geralt frowning. His forehead creased to the extent that he seemed to be thinking rather too deeply as to who this Legolas was and why were you even calling him that.

"---and now you're the one annoyed,"

Geralt kept his lips in a tight firm line. Amber peepers shining in dissatisfaction.

You brushed off his noncommittal reaction; already used to his lethargic norms as you complained about his infuriating friend, "It's Jaskier! He's annoying me since this morning!"

He just continued to give you a listless look, giving a displeased hum as he wholeheartedly let you rant to him.

Then, you added, "---Just his breathing irks me!" which only a hum was the only word you've received again, "Hmm."

You've irritatingly grunted, giving him a glout as you also kvetched, "Stop the humming! You're annoying me as well! You've been annoying me too since this morning!"

Your cavils has stirred a defeated sigh from the latter. His sudden actions obviously had reasons as to why you were abruptly being trained with a weapon. If only he hadn't brought you with them in the marketplace and haven't run into Tybalt then gallants weren't supposed to be searching for you by fair means or foul.

"What did I do this time?" he lowly grumbled, utterly dead beat. A faint, crooked smile raising those lips of his. You've held onto your phone a little more tighter, feeble arms crossed in front of your chest as he simply gave you his attention that you somehow yearn a lot, "You and Jaskier can stay in one room together while I sleep in yours! Men are so annoying! Always have been!"

Geralt's features appeared to be of someone who was suddenly bothered at the understanding of your statement, his listening comprehension twisting whatever it is that you've said as he skeptically appalled, "You have been with other men?"

Your face twisted in a tight cringe, bewildered by his presumptions that sounded like he was telling that you had a lot of men back in the days or basically his words were telling you that he couldn't believe that you actually had a man before. You've given him at least ten seconds of you just giving him a displeased flicker of your eyes before the white haired witcher proceeded with his remarks.

"Also, are you threatening me in my own home? You're kicking me out of my own chambers?"

An innocent nod was given to Geralt. The witcher simply gave an enervated blink, hearing a serious growl buzzed out of his chest; scrutinizing for whatever your eyes held out to him. The intensified gaze of his peepers searing that says he needed your sincere answers.

"This...Legolas you have been calling me," pause. "--- Do I remind you of your previous lover?"

You waited for more additional questions or perhaps a moment where he could tell you that he was just joking around. However, the intimidating, gargantuan monster-slayer who was crouched before you; never said that he was just giving out any jocularity of his previous light-hearted demeanor as he was all brooding again.

He fervently stared you down, making you shift on the floor as you looked up into his eyes; mirth surrounding the windows to your soul when he didn't budge after you've given him an guileless beam, "Yeah. Pfft. Earth also has their own witcher slash elves---What? Oh my God, this is funny."

Geralt is all wordless and silent; awaiting for whatever explanations you could give him and you couldn't help but ask in a skeptical manner; bizarrely gasping for his seriousness.

"Wait, you're actually---stop giving me a scowl! I never had...one? He's a Lord of the Rings character and I swear to God, he is fictional---Not real! Though, he looks like you because the hair and such---but---" you've jumped from one thought to another, feeling the scrutiny under his gaze and obviously nervous that he appeared to look like he would grab his sword and look for the man to behead him. Though, it will never happen due that Legolas was entirely fictitious to even start.

You ceased yourself from trying to explain the background story of Legolas for Geralt. Your nerves getting the best of you whenever you were being interrogated. An exhale of breath escaped your lips as you took a good look at the grimacing witcher before witlessly reaching onto his face with your palms on either side of his chiseled face as you gave him your best doe-eyes, sweetly trying not to coo at how his brooding demeanor actually makes him look fetching nevertheless.

"Stop being mad at me," you buttered his silence up with a tender tone of yours and the way he scrunched his nose and appeared to be looking bizarre tells you that your sweet-talking was cringe-worthy because of how you probably never knew how to simmer a man's troubled day.

Or he was just not used to gentleness.

You've retracted your hands away from Geralt's face and tried your best in avoiding those questioning and bemused eyes of his as you abruptly stood on your feet, shamefully rubbing your nape as you had yourself wincing from the second hand embarrassment of treating Geralt like he was some soft baby, reminding yourself to never do it again, "I am embarrassing myself,"

At the time you've stood up, Geralt also has been on one's feet. He didn't mean to look at you weirdly as you've cupped his face with that tender gaze inside your eyes. When the moment your delicate fingers brushed his, he felt as if he was in utopia. The man wasn't just used to intimate touches especially your caresses that felt like Gossamer.

Geralt just wasn't used to people treating him like he was actually human instead of someone who deserved to be treated differently.

Only Renfri, Yennefer and you had this effect on him. Though, with yours seemed to be much stronger.

Your panicking state urged you to flee from his presence, but the witcher wasn't going to let you go that easily as he'd caught your wrist; gently pulling you as your back hit the wall. Both hands and fingers scooping your neck like a baby chicken he'd caught and decided to take care of as his his warm touch skimmed till his thumbs brushed against your jaw, carefully urging you to peer up into those amiable gazes he successfully tries to give.

"I'm not mad." he dearly reassured, his small smile bringing your heart into euphoria because he was much more beautiful this way; smiling as if the world hasn't condemned him with an ill-fate of being a witcher.

Your beams were difficult to fight off; immediately giving him a smile as he also did as well. Chiefly, only giving you the sight of his crinkled eyes. His thumbs tenderly caressing your jaw which coaxed you to calm down from being fidgety which was totally a good medicine because your nervous jitters actually ceased with just his gentle touches.

You've grabbed onto his hand, memorizing his soft features as it was ever been a rare sight. Never believing he was acting the way he right now towards you. Your fingers brushing against his hands like a feather tickling the witcher's sanity.

Before another utter cockblocker slash disturbance came trudging up the staircase and somehow found you both in an heartfelt position; with Geralt cradling your face like no other.

"Oh! Ughm, this is a rare sight." Jaskier ceased his steps, midway through the hall, the bard's growing grin seeming to give you jitters as his ridicule began, "---and the small rat has been sexually frustrated, Geralt!"

You just wanted to strangle him sometimes.

"Cot damn it, Jaskier! SHUT UP!" you exclaimed, totally flustered as Geralt dropped his hands to the side; looking between you and Jaskier in ponder; those eyes of his full of curiosity, "You're...?"

"I AM NOT FEELING SMUTTY!"

If only you could dig and cover yourself up from the embarrassment, you would.

"---Smutty."

"You get my point, Geralt! I know you do!"

Geralt had his forehead in a tight wrinkle, thoroughly thinking what you meant; though, he understood none because the word seem to be peculiar, "Midget."

Jaskier exhaled an exasperated breath, dramatically rolling his eyes as he waved you both off and curved right pass between the both of you, entering his chambers to grab onto some clothes because he wanted to bathe.

The bard pointed a finger as he walked off, his hips swaying as he does so and never looking back, "She needs some nightly penetrating! You're welcome, witcher!"

Geralt watched Jaskier leave, an amused pucker of his lips was the answer to your questions that he certainly understood everything now and cocked his head to the side, peering you down as he awaited for an explanation. Yet, all he saw was you covering your blushing face with a guilty, forced smile as you washed your face in frustration to give him your regretful eyes.

"Don't listen to him," you quoted and begged for him to just take the bait.

Nevertheless, you've seen him raise a hand; about to start talking about being one horny woman for him when you've stopped him midway and tried to shift the topic away, "Anyways, I forgive you, Geralt. Now, can I braid your hair?"

The witcher closed his ajar mouth, humming in wonder as he dropped his hand to the side; narrowing his gaze at you, "I wasn't asking for any of your forgiveness."

You've blinked back at him, jutting your lips together as you looked away, tone teasing and slightly threatening, "You sure that's your final answer? No regrets?"

Geralt roughly puffed out a breath, muttering profanities beneath his chest, "Fuck." and another grunt because he'd remember how he still wasn't forgiven by yelling at you for last night, "---Fine. Do I have a choice?"

Your smile turned into a knavish grin, wanting him to regret why he even agreed to whatever plans you have for him as you bluntly answered.

"No."

The one you had in mind, planning for a simple diversion for Geralt to erase the horrid truth that Jaskier has told out loud for him to hear was actually another rabbit hole that had caught your feet, catching you going far down the pit like you have been scammed. Clearly, because Geralt's unwitting deep groans and hums has made you hot and bothered every time you've tried combing his hair along his snowy locks.

You were wincing every time he has his nose flaring whenever your fingers thread along his hair, the knots giving his head a rough yank from how you were trying to untangle those knots.

Geralt sat on the floor; his arms on either side of the bed. With you who sat on the bed and your legs criss-cross behind his impressive, thewy back; tempted to just give him a big hug because he seemed so comforting but chose not to based on how grouchy he became once you've combed his hair with your fingers.

You didn't even know if he was irritated or somehow liking the whole situation because he was deeply growling, groaning and eventually having to hear a slip of guttural, restrained whimpers that caught your ears. Enlivening that cravings and curiosity you had for some human touch.

"Midget..." he grumbled another complain and lowly warned, hearing the baritone growl he'd ought for you to hear which made you ignore his protests as you had your own protestations as well, "Stop complaining. Also, don't you own a comb? Your hair---It's---Oh! I'm sorry! Can you please stop growling and moaning at the same time!"

His head was minimally pulled back because of your reckless combing. Your nose scrunched even more as you'd received another menacing hum that tells he was close to hitting your face with a pillow because of how rough you were taking care of his hair. It's not that you weren't rough, but the locks in his hair was frustrating you to the highest.

"Hmm."

You subtly leaned down, sneaking your head to the side of his face to see his expressions void of emotions. The typical Geralt whom you've met as he felt your presence nearer, he'd turned his head to give you a lackadaisical look in his eyes that tells that you were stressing him out.

Your eyes twinkled apologetically as you had no problem in receiving a glare from the fussed out witcher. "Well, that sounds like a displeased hum," you stated as a matter of fact, shrugging your shoulders before straightening your spine and grabbing onto his Ivory roots again, "---and a different kind as well,"

He sighed in defeated, letting you handle his hair in spite as he simply closed his eyes. There was no more backing out as he was now sat in front of you, hair all untied as you've threatened to cut his hair with a scissor you've managed to have that was sat beside you.

"Bad kitty! You're liking this, aren't you? You like your hair being pulled!"

No answer was received and you left it at that. Thinking that maybe he wanted silence as you went on with brushing his hair with your fingers. Now, all gentle as the tangles were already free from the knots. It was certainly improvement; in Geralt's side because he stopped complaining after you scolded him so and quietly waited for you to finish; showing like he trusted you with his hair or whatever.

With a gentle tuck of his hair behind his ears, the witcher was all putty on your hands. Hearing a low rumble that resonated off him in pleasure and satisfaction because of how your touch was sending torment to the cravings he had for you.

Hence, his patience and respect he had for not throwing you over the bed and just relishing in with those insatiable desires he had for you needed and deserved an applause because of his high-capacity to resist the mania.

His appetite was surely in a famished mayhem as he breathed in slow and deep, your gentle touches that raked through his roots and his cravings growing more and more uncontrollable with each passing day and night.

Maybe, the scar you had on your chest had effects. Lewd effects for the both of you.

After minutes of comfortable---well, aching moments for Geralt; you've heard him mutter through gritted teeth in the midst of his slow breathing, "I'm not a cat."

You were already at the ends of his Ivory hair, simply braiding them in perfection as you objected, "But, you are! My grumpy kitty!"

There was no response again and you focused on braiding his marvelous hair and let the silence flow. You were actually just hearing him breath as it also calmed your nerves; a bewildering occurrence on how one's breathing could simply put you in peace.

You've grabbed onto his black ponytail which seemed to be owned by Cirilla and tightly tied onto the ends. Small hairs that seemed to not be possible in tying them down were imperfectly out of its nest; though, the ruggish effect it gave was actually making it look perfect for him.

"There! Done!" you mirthfully exclaimed, giving out a tiny tee-hee before you recklessly surrounded your arms around his musclebound shoulders. The irresistible urges just telling you to cease from being shy even just for today and be more of your unshackled self; stepping out of your timid borders every once in a while. It surprised the witcher with your touchy-feely attitude as his body went stiff when you've embraced him from behind, "See? I told you! You'll still look beautiful with your hair braided! Now, payment time, mister!"

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, clicking his tongue as he tried to find any words to say from your hasty, sweet gestures while he was not one who is used to receiving such care. Geralt had no words to say, his mind going in a haywire as he suddenly saw your palms in front of his face, begging like a peasant with your face nuzzled to his side as he weirdly stared at your palm.

"You want coins?" he skeptically questioned, your warmth and scent crashing his ability to think straight. You've dropped your arm around his shoulders, your actions seeming to surprise you as well but you paid no heed and just wanted him closer; his warmth insatiable as you hugged Geralt tighter. Your warm touches giving his body to adjust and be used to it as you felt him slowly relaxing against your hold.

You peeked from the side of his face, giving him a twinkle of those vindicated eyes as he languidly turned his head to see you giving such a naive look that he couldn't help but be fond of everyday. If it would take his hair to be braided for you to sweetly look at him like how you do right now; he would take the risk on letting his hair get yanked, "I don't know. Whatever payment you have in mind---I would love it,"

Faces were inches apart. You've seen the way his eyes glow in sudden mischief. His risquè suggestion making your heart warm in a way that got your ravenousness fueled as your face felt the blush and sudden excitement, "The one I have in mind is quite unseemly for your chastity,"

You gave a giggle, always loving how he'd intensely stare into your eyes like you've given light to his darkness; that type of glow inside his eyes that got your insides churning whenever he does, "Aren't you playful and naughty today, Geralt?!"

Geralt gave a tight-lipped smile; knowing you wouldn't accept his ravenous suggestion because of particular things he knew about. The witcher knew he wasn't wrong, he can never be wrong by what he was sensing.

However, a rare smirk was promptly shown, the ingenuous flicker inside your eyes changing in just a snap of one's fingers as it turned suggestive and playful, "What if I actually want that?"

It was what your heart wants and what those voices inside your head has been whispering. The mere idea of Geralt defiling your chastity that you have been treasuring because no other men deserved was utterly thrilling and worth it.

Not because of the thought that he was striking, but he was the only man you've wholeheartedly trusted and probably have given your heart like he was a king no matter how unsure of what you were in his life.

Closer and closer, you went in for the kill. Just his golden peepers alone was enough to pull you into a hypnotizing trance as you closed the space between you both, landing your lips to his in a soft, birdsweet peck that got you insides melting and the desire rapidly coming back in scorching flames, "I thought you wanted to indulge my curiosity all night long?"

Your words were temptingly drawled slower as your warm breath hit those ajar lips of his, an impenetrable haze in his eyes that suddenly brought uncertainty to what Geralt actually meant the last time you had the bathroom moment, your sudden confidence kind of wavering but still you've wanted to see how he was fond of you the way you also had your affections for him, "When I told you I was curious, it’s true, Geralt."

You've brushed your lips together and felt the witcher sigh before you had given one last honeyed kiss to his lips in which Geralt had puckered back, raising your hopes that he was solicitous about you.

'More,' his consciousness and emotions echoed, kissing you back with the same tenderness you held for him. He seemed like he was about to deepen the kiss; breathing through his luscious lips before you've felt the pillowy vermillion brush against yours as he abruptly ceased, hearing him lowly growl as he kept the tip of his nose, touching yours in an eskimo kiss before slowly pulling away to your disappointment.

The hesitation of wanting to deepen the kiss shot a sting to your heart; your overthinking self reading his actions that you've misunderstood his feelings that it was downright doting because you were head over heels for him after quite sometime.

But, hearing his next words immediately brought a weight down your chest, feeling the ineptness, dismay and shame for even suggesting lechorous behaviors that made you feel shameful because you think that it was rejected; thinking he rejected you.

He bedded tons of women. So, what makes you different?

You probably just weren't worth it.

"You don't mean that," Geralt lowly grumbled, his robust shoulders moving from how deeply he was breathing; ceasing himself from doing anything more further as the witcher continued to dispassionately utter, "---I don't deserve it,"

You hardly ignored the shame trying to strangle you into feeling such tightness around your throat as you unlatched your arms around his shoulders, skeptically eyeing the witcher who avoided your eyes, "What do you mean you don't deserve it, Geralt? You do,"

Were you desperate? Was the irresistible sensations making you act this way? Maybe. Howbeit, you would never regret every little thing you do for Geralt because it was what your heart has been telling you to do and not just your impulsive decisions.

Yet, the more he'd talk; it felt like as if the only thing you would regret was asking him what he meant.

Geralt heavily swallowed, jaw tightening as he apathetically muttered, "I'm guessing it's the Djinn's work that is talking,"

His response to your question ignited such ferocity inside your heart, shooting straight to your mouth as you couldn't believe what you were hearing. Did you misunderstood everything he has said when you were important to him? Deeply thinking that him and you were actually in the same page when his gestures and words right now seem to be the opposite?

"Are you saying that what I feel about you isn't true?" you questioned in disbelief. The scoff automatically being done as you've seen the tight scowl that Geralt has managed to put up again, "---That it's all...magic? The thing happening between us?"

You've tightly bit the insides of your cheeks, watching him stay silent and cease from opening up to you as he went on in avoiding your gaze and looking like he was the one who'd been rejected when it was you.

Thus, a continuation of your vulnerability went on despite of his stillness, your honesty probably will rue once it was said and done, "---before the Djinn even happened, you've been clouding my mind since then," a breathless pause. "---Since the first day I've been here, it felt like I was bound to fall for you, Probably, because the reason why I'm here is because...you are also here,"

Your candor has gotten the best of you and when Geralt was about to open his mouth for whatever that he wanted to say, your anxiety has managed to take over as you stood up from the bed in haste, feeling your palms tickle in humility from how everything that has been planned went down the hill because you misunderstood everything.

"Midget---"

You tightly swallowed the tightness stuck in your throat, finally feeling his gaze on you but you chose to look away; eyes now downcast as your toes fidgeted inside your boots, voice cracking when the apprehension was starting to take a toll as it was harshly plucking with your heart strings, "It's fine. We're just probably not on the same page yet and I understand why. Who would want me even?"

Geralt has been ruffled by your sudden assumptions, yet he chose to stay silent and be upset by whatever lies he'd been hearing; only having the actions to grit his teeth together as you restlessly tried your best to steer clear of your own dismayed feelings.

You shuffled on your feet, briskly walking towards the door before giving him a faltering gaze of yours as you awkwardly pointed at his perfectly braided hair while you stammered and tried to get a hold of yourself from the mortifying, stinging shame, "It's probably just...the genie effects doing these effects on me---I'll go apologize to Jaskier or something---Don't take that off, okay?!"

Hence, Geralt could only watch you leave as it was obvious that he'd upset you by his complicated behavior. Thus, leaving his heart stinging as well; feeling the same way as you.

Y’ALL ARE PROLLY CURSING ME FOR MAKING AN ADDITIONAL CHAPTER 13.1 AHONHONHONHON XD (Strikethrough means I couldn’t tag you, buddy! Please do check your settings, bb! Thank you!)

Taglist: @alyxkbrl @himarisolace @barkingbullfrog @ayamenimthiriel @hellodevilslittlesister @vania-marie @spookypeachx​ @grungelovebug @fangirl-inthe-us @nympeth @amirahiddleston @gabethelobster @dreaming-about-starfleet @uncoolcloudyhead @melaninstylezz @psychosupernatural @missjenniferb @dance-dreamer​​ @marvelousell​​ @kingniazx​​ @angelias134​​ @tapismyforte​​ @chook007​​ @covid-donotenter​​ @winter-moons​ @cheesecakeisapie​​ @silverkitten547​​​ @angelofthorr​ @carrieannewaywardson, @plantingmum​​ @stuckupstucky​​

[argentdandelion]

Undertale: The Perks of Being Literally Not Human Author Patreon - Author Ko-Fi (Possible human reactions: “Oh! Dogs!” “So that’s what it would look like if the high school mascot costume were a monster...” “Oh gosh they're delightfully close to my fursona”.)

At the end of Undertale's Pacifist Route, monsters go to the Surface and live a life under the sunlight. It probably would not be perfect: the fact they are not literally not human would probably fuel some discrimination.

But it might be really convenient for them, too.

Cultural Familiarity

The very fact monsters are literally not humans means they won’t face the same psycho-social obstacles as, say, a group of human immigrants that look very strange to the eyes of locals.

If one can assume the Surface world of Undertale is just like the real world (circa 2015), then people are familiar with the notion of nonhuman sentient beings, and the sheer breadth of nonhuman-sentient-being images in media means it would be easy to make sense of monsters. Those who resemble beloved animals (e.g., rabbit monsters, dog monsters) would be especially comforting their familiarity. However, many people find even animals which aren’t conventionally cute (e.g., sea cucumbers, spiders) utterly adorable and likeable; now imagine these delightfully strange-looking creatures could talk.

Certainly, there’s a lot of media where nonhuman beings are villains, but also a lot of media (especially kids’ media) where nonhuman beings (even explicitly “monsters”) are good guys: Sesame Street (or an in-universe parallel) is a particularly long-standing example. Battle-monster franchises (e.g., Pokémon, Digimon) would make people familiar with the idea of befriending monsters, and make it seem really cool to have a monster friend, even though, obviously, it would work differently in the real world of Undertale.

Movies

People spend quite a lot of money creating monsters for shows or films, whether using CGI, puppetry or elaborate costumes. It would be much quicker, cheaper (and often more convincing) to use a real monster actor, and add makeup or CGI effects as necessary.

Indeed, the cheap, ready access to nonhuman, easy-to-train actors would probably amplify non-human representation across genres and budgets of films. Furthermore, the practicalities of accommodating monster actors means areas with movie studios (e.g., the state of California) would logically implement monster rights before bringing monsters into movie studios. Monsters being in lots of movies would drastically increase human awareness of monsters’ very existence, and so concern for their political rights.

Psycho-Social

Psycho-socially, monsters would provide three things for humanity: proof humans aren’t “alone” in the universe, an alternate sentient species for social interaction, and the validation of strange or unpopular beliefs.

Alternate Species for Socializing

Some people hate, fear, or distrust other humans, whether from misanthropy from developing social anxiety disorder after being mistreated by humans too often. Having concluded humans as a whole are cruel, petty, or untrustworthy, misanthropic or socially anxious humans might view monsters as a second chance for socialization.

Others may consider monsters exciting social opportunities...for romance. For similar reasons as misanthropy or social anxiety disorders, some humans fall into a state of despair after repeated failures starting romantic relationships with other humans. The fact monsters literally aren’t human will make such humans more optimistic about their chances, since the same standards might not apply.

Furthermore, “cruel intentions” make attacks on monsters hurt more. If this information becomes public, humans nervous about getting attacked by love interests might date monsters, if only because it is easy to take down monsters with cruel enough intentions and an improvised weapon. (Though this information would endanger monsters, too.)

Yet, even those who have had no severe negative experiences with humans may find monsters romantically appealing. Though furries and cutesy, mammalian-looking monsters is an obvious pairing, all the real-life media werewolf/alien/vampire/monster romantic inclinations show that even non-furries may find appeal in romantic relationships with non-human sentient beings. (Most of the time said beings look like humans, but, still, it’s a start.)

Validate Strange and Unpopular Beliefs

People have long believed in strange beings who are “higher” than or superior to humans in some way, whether in peacefulness, technological sophistication, compassion or a connection with nature. Monsters’ magical technology and the idea their souls are (supposedly) made of love, hope, and compassion may encourage this perception. Less skeptical humans may consult monsters on their presumed superior ways.

Indeed, if “superior alien beings” are rebranded as “actually monsters of Mt. Ebott”, it might spur a pilgrimage to places with great numbers of monsters, specifically in the hopes of social enlightenment. Humans admiring monsters, even in some distorted sense, could benefit monsters...though it might also be annoying to be put on a pedestal or have to mesh with humans’ beliefs.

People who believe they've seen ghosts, Bigfeet or, in some broad sense, monsters, may be unable to persuade other humans that their claims are true, becoming frustrated pariahs. Monsters emerging from Mt. Ebott would give their claims more validity, though not outright prove them. Depending on how much the general human population knows of the how the barrier was destroyed, paranormal enthusiasts may assume "Bigfoot" was a monster who absorbed a human SOUL (unbeknownst to anyone else), or a monster that never was sealed Underground. And if anyone says, "Monsters aren't real", the paranormal enthusiast can just point to a nearby monster.

The existence of magic itself, even if its methods and limitations are little-known to humans, would validate a lot of paranormal enthusiasts. Even if humans learn that humans can't do magic, ("they will never know the joys of expressing themselves through magic") they might reconcile that with the story of "humanity's seven greatest magicians" or suppose they have some subtle quirk in their SOULs. (Or suppose that they themselves have no magic, but their objects do)

Speaking of online communities, people in the otherkin/therian communities of Undertale’s Surface world would also love associating with monsters. In the words of Wikipedia:“Otherkin are a subculture who socially and spiritually identify as not entirely human.” Though in real life (at time of writing), humans are the only indisputably sentient beings, the very existence of non-human sentient beings on the Surface might itself validate otherkin/therian beliefs. Such communities might look at, say, the character Ice Wolf and say: “Aw, gee, when I said I was a werewolf I meant wolf monster.”

Monsters are likely to keep the details of human-monster SOUL fusion a secret, in case humans get paranoid again and kill them off preemptively, or just crave absorbing a monster SOUL themselves. However, the very fact human-monster fusions exist would give otherkin/therians a supportable framework for their impressions and beliefs. Perhaps otherkin humans might assume their ancestors absorbed monster SOULs at one point, and passed down some trace of a non-human essence to their descendants.

Biological

Monsters’ bodies are made of magic, or at least made mostly of magic in the same way human bodies are made mostly of water. Their biochemistry is likely very different to humans, so it is roughly as likely they could catch human diseases as seaweed could catch tuberculosis. Therefore, monsters would be very useful for studying or treating human diseases.

Furthermore, since monsters can eat monster food (which converts immediately into energy and has no waste) with seemingly no problems, it may be useful to employ monsters in places where it is impractical or very expensive to install a toilet. (e.g., a space station, a fighter jet, a submarine) Furthermore, since monster food is apparently tasty, doesn’t spoil, converts immediately into energy, and is known to be safe for monsters, the military might be interested in monster soldiers or military adjuncts. (Whether the monsters would volunteer is another matter.)

Conclusion

Cryptid hunters, ghost hunters, occultists, Wiccans, paranormal enthusiasts in general (and possibly alien enthusiasts), (fictional) monster design appreciators, animal rights activists and animal enthusiasts in general, furries, otherkin, movie makers, misanthropes and socially anxious people, NASA employees, and the military all very likely to rush to give monster rights. While some level of prejudice against monsters is very likely, monsters would have many allies almost immediately...especially if communities which overlap with the mentioned ones ally with monsters. (e.g., naturalists, environmentalists, video game makers, LGBTQ+ people, non-NASA astronomic scientists…)

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol. 1 #97

Sun March 18 2018 [15:32:14] <Wackd> BEEEEAAAACH EEEEEPIIIIISOOOOODE!!!

[15:33:09] <Wackd> oh it's not a beach episode [15:33:12] <Wackd> just a cool cover :( [15:33:29] <maxwellelvis> And an odious tradition begins... [15:33:30] <Inbarfink> Boooooooo! [15:33:47] <Wackd> They WERE vacationing by a beach [15:34:25] <Wackd> But the story starts in media res, after their vacation has been interrupted by the Navy asking them to investigate sinkings in Lost Lagoon [15:34:35] <maxwellelvis> I take it Ms Harkness would not be joining them in that vacation [15:34:50] <Wackd> It's vampires that burn in sunlight, not witches! [15:35:02] <maxwellelvis> I know [15:35:07] <Wackd> Also so hey, uh. [15:35:23] <Wackd> Maybe if you didn't want ships to disappear here ya shouldn't have called it Lost Lagoon. [15:36:16] <maxwellelvis> Yeah [15:36:34] <Wackd> So, Reed, Johnny, and Ben (no Sue I guess) are attacked in their vessel by a killer whale. They suspect it might be Namor for a hot second, but then realize he'd probably just show up and start punching them, which checks out. [15:37:04] <Wackd> Ben thinks the whale mighta caused the sinkings, but it turns out that many of the survivors have reported sightings of "a monster in human form". [15:38:11] <Wackd> Also, apparently Tony Stark designed this submarine. Which is weird, right? With the exception of that one thing they got from T'Challa, I kinda figured the implication was that Reed built all their weird vehicles. [15:38:36] <Wackd> I can't imagine Tony sitting down and going "hm, you know, robot suits are cool, but I could *really* do with a submarine." [15:38:44] <Duraz> are they trying to keep people in their specialties? [15:38:53] <Duraz> I mean, they're usually bad at that [15:39:01] <Inbarfink> Does Reed have a specialty? [15:39:16] <Inbarfink> I thought he was a scientist, that studies science [15:39:27] <Duraz> my take would have been, like, particle physics [15:39:34] <Wackd> Transport kinda IS Reed's specialty! Like, he investigates deep space and microverses and negative zones, and then build things that take his team there. [15:40:13] <Wackd> Insofar as he's been confined to a field--and I'm not saying he's never dipped into other fields, especially when un-Thinging Ben is concerned--exploration has been it. [15:40:26] <Duraz> true enough [15:40:38] <maxwellelvis> I think, iirc, the last few times they went underwater, transport was provided for them, and I guess Reed never thought to build a submarine. [15:41:33] <Wackd> Man, I know we've already got Namor and all that stuff, but I would dig an arc where the Four had a deep-sea exploration and found, like, really bizarre shit down there. [15:42:04] <Wackd> I think people underestimate how much of the ocean floor we've actually covered, and just because Atlantis exists in Marvel doesn't mean that Atlantis is on the same level as giant squids or whatever. [15:42:35] <Duraz> reminds me of a time when I was playing Ultimate Alliance with a friend who doesn't read comics [15:42:49] <Duraz> "Looks like we're going to Atlantis," I said.  "Okay.  Awesome!" he replied. [15:43:14] <maxwellelvis> "Oh fuck," I think. As I recall that being the worst level in that game. [15:43:44] <Wackd> 1. Johnny, it's okay to be emotional. 2. oh my god that righthand panel is fantastic on so many levels

[15:44:46] <maxwellelvis> Strong men also cry, Johnny. Strong men also cry. [15:46:38] <Wackd> Admittedly, I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of the first 100 issues, especially since I read many of them back in 2016. But this take on Johnny as a lady magnet feels new to me. If nothing else, it's leaning into him as the "youth culture" member of the team more than we've done in a damn long while.

[15:47:19] <maxwellelvis> It's been part of his character in Spider-Man, at least. [15:47:30] <maxwellelvis> As part of the contrasting between Johnny and Peter. [15:47:46] <Wackd> Makes sense. Has he been a regular over there? [15:48:15] <Wackd> (I mean, Spider-Man as a book also has a lot more time for civilians than Fantastic Four tends to, Alicia excepted.) [15:50:26] <maxwellelvis> Wackd: He pops up every now and then [15:50:57] <maxwellelvis> In the early years, mostly to be everything Peter wishes he could be: [15:51:13] <maxwellelvis> Cool, confident, popular, a hit with the ladies, beloved by the public, etc [15:51:37] <Wackd> I like that Reed just sort of assumes that his being around isn't a prerequisite for Sue to enjoy herself, as though on some subconscious level he knows how shitty he is.

[15:53:34] <Wackd> SO! Turns out the monster has some sort of chemical that can change him into a human being (or vice versa?) He's currently "undercover" as a dolphin trainer at an aquarium. [15:54:38] <Wackd> I like that Reed immediately cracking the plot is depicted here not as him being incredibly smart, but as him being a workaholic who's reaction to a fun trip to the aquarium is "what if the dolphin trainer is a villain?"

[15:55:11] <Wackd> (Also, uh, can you sit on dolphins like that without hurting them? That seems wrong.) [15:55:47] <Duraz> I guess they ought to be able to take a lot of pressure [15:56:35] <Wackd> PROBABLY not this much pressure, though, right?

[15:57:09] <Wackd> I feel like you PROBABLY can't toss a pilot whale INTO A WALL without something going horribly wrong somewhere. [15:58:47] <Wackd> The whale lives! (But Ben won't enjoy it.)

[15:59:57] <Wackd> So! It turns out our baddie can't speak in human form. (Possibly also in monster form?) I didn't notice, because villains having an ongoing internal monologue is par for the course at this point, but huh, yeah. This guy hasn't said a word so far. [16:01:16] <Wackd> (In an earlier panel, Ben jokes about him being "a real chatterbox." Because the baddie hadn't had a chance to say anything yet, I assumed Ben was making a joke about Reed not being able to shut up, but nah, he's making jokes about a guy he just met not talking, cool) [16:02:07] <Wackd> Indeed, as our baddie volunteers to lead Reed, Ben, and Johnny on a deep-sea expedition, it is CONSISTENTLY pointed out that he can't talk, with Reed finding it odd. [16:02:16] <Wackd> Does...does Stan not know mute people exist? [16:02:49] <Wackd> Like sure, it's not like this guy is using sign language or writing things down--he doesn't even seem to use body language, which makes me wonder how it was determined he wanted to tag along. [16:03:48] <Wackd> Anyway. Ben determines the baddie has led them into a bog, and that it'd be difficult for them to maneuver out, like he's trying to get us stuck down here with no way out!" [16:04:19] <Wackd> So this story is basically about our heroes assuming some rando is a villain because he doesn't speak and is too good at doing dolphin shows for tourists, and being validated in that belief. Cool. [16:05:59] <Wackd> The baddie busts up their submarine, and only Ben can hold his breath long enough to save Reed and Johnny. All the while thinking about how his life is worthless compared to theirs. [16:06:12] <Wackd> Ben: capable of hating himself while saving people from drowning. [16:07:56] <Duraz> hmm, whales were able to ram wooden ships, but still... [16:08:21] <Wackd> So, Ben fights the monster, then Johnny and Reed wake up, and then all three fight the monster. Fight fight fight. The monster makes a retreat. [16:08:33] <Wackd> Monster design, by the way? Real boring. Basically just a Creature from the Black Lagoon ripoff. [16:09:05] <Inbarfink> So when will Johnny start banging the monster? [16:09:13] <Wackd> pffffffffffft [16:09:49] <Wackd> So Ben's solution to having lost track of the monster is to just. Punch the walls of the cave they're in so all the walls collapse and the monster will have nowhere to hide. [16:10:02] <Wackd> Which I'm sure is a thing you can do while maintaining structural integrity. [16:10:28] <Duraz> he's gonna get buried if he keeps doing that [16:12:20] <Wackd> I mean, I suppose it's possible Ben knows enough about this sort of thing to make it work. https://usercontent.irccloud-cdn.com/file/2ED37f5X/IMG_1564.PNG [16:13:44] <Wackd> ...well, now I feel like kind of a jerk. [16:14:20] <Wackd> Turns out the baddie wasn't a baddie at all. He's a stranded alien who was only trying to collect water for him to breath once he repaired his spaceship and could make a return trip. [16:14:43] <Wackd> He was attacking the boats because he thought he'd be attacked if discovered. [16:15:24] <Wackd> So the entire POINT of this issue is that you shouldn't jump to conclusions about people just because they're strange. [16:15:53] <Wackd> Maybe, if they wanted that to work, they shouldn't have had Reed been right every time he suspects anyone ever in all previous issues? [16:15:57] <Wackd> Just a thought. [16:16:48] <Wackd> anyway fish boobs

[16:17:12] <Wackd> (maybe they're just friends, reed, you don't know) [16:17:34] <Wackd> OH HEY ALSO! The monster STILL can't speak! Reed is still just jumping to random conclusions! [16:17:49] <Wackd> So I guess the actual moral is that Reed is always right even when he's wrong. [16:18:04] <Inbarfink> Goddamit Reed and his Heteronomativity [16:18:19] <Wackd> those last three words are superfluous [16:19:09] <Wackd> HEY BEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN A BIT MORE UNDERSTANDING IN THIS SITUATION

[16:19:31] <Wackd> didn't i just do a thing a few issues ago about how it's weird that ben is the quickest to judge considering his own issues [16:19:35] <Wackd> is that just a trait he has now [16:22:56] <Wackd> yeah, here--where he has no sympathy for mole man https://f4liveblogarchives.tumblr.com/post/171974975823/fantastic-four-vol-1-90 [16:23:44] <Duraz> not very introspective, for all the time he spends in his own head [16:23:59] <Wackd> Anyway the alien takes off, Reed works out the alien and the murder dolphin guy were the same dude, the issue ends [16:24:11] <Wackd> That sure was a thing

[betwixt-these-pages]

  Blurb

A remote summer camp becomes a lurid crime scene when the bodies of two teenagers are found in a bloody, real-life rendering of a classic Grimm’s fairy tale. Trapped in the wilderness, the remaining counsellors must follow a trail of dark children’s fables in order to outwit a psychopath and save the dwindling survivors before falling prey to their own gruesome endings.

Drawing on the grisly, uncensored details of history’s most famous fairy tales, Grimm Woods is a heart-pounding thriller about a deranged killer who uses traditional children’s stories as tropes in elaborate murders. Set against the backdrop of modern-day Michigan, it’s a journey through the mind of a dangerous zealot and a shocking glimpse into the bedtime stories you thought you knew.

  GOODREADS

Exclusive to AMAZON

  About D. Melhoff

D. Melhoff was born in a prairie ghost town that few people have heard of and

even fewer have visited. While most of his stories are for adults, he also enjoys terrifying younger audiences from time to time, as seen in his series of twisted picture books for children. He credits King, Poe, Hitchcock, Harris, Stoker, and his second grade school teacher, Mrs. Lake, for turning him to horror. For more information, visit grimmwoods.com.

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Follow the Grimm Woods tour HERE

Excerpt:

July 7th, 5:44 a.m.

One hacksaw. One hammer, six boxes of nails. Twelve Mason jars, four hunting knives, two pairs of handcuffs. Fifteen gallons of gasoline divided evenly among three dented jerry cans.

It’s time.

A work glove hovered over the table where the objects were laid out side by side and began ticking the air as though marking off an invisible checklist. The chamber reeked of mildew, and the walls had no windows or electrical sockets—no lamps, no wires, no switch covers. A single red candle provided the only light, its crimson wax dripping down its shaft like blood.

The hand picked up a piece of paper from the table and slipped it into a blank envelope. Below, a beetle scuttled across the floorboards. The insect—its gangly antennae tuned to some foul frequency in the gloom—raced past the sole

of a giant boot just as a drop of liquid fell through the air and struck it dead center, engulfing its body in a hot, gelatinous blob that filled its orifices and burned it from the inside out. Another droplet tumbled from the candle, plopping onto the envelope this time, and then a brass stamp came down and pressed the wax into a hardened seal.

Drawing in heavier, raspier breaths, the figure held the envelope up to a corkboard that was bolted to the wall. More than a dozen pictures of young men and women were tacked to the panel by their throats and foreheads, smiling in the shadows.

The figure pinned the envelope to the board and stepped back to take in the room again.

The table and the switchblade.

The book of matches.

The iron rods, the hatchet, the .22 Smith & Wesson.

The smiling faces.

Now, the figure mused, watching the photographs flicker in the bloodred light. Who’s the nicest, who’s the worst, who wants to hear a story first?

Quick Reasons: well-rounded, complex, shady snark characters; SO MUCH BLOOD AND GORE I loved it!; horror that was actually horrifying; mix in a side of fairy tales for an interesting, unique tale; plot-focused novel that still manages to round out everything else; this read was intense!

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watch for gore

devoured it

entertaining

creeptastic

Huge thanks to D. Melhoff, Bellwoods Publishing, and Worldwind Virtual Book Tours for sending me a free ecopy of this title in exchange for an honest review! This in no way altered my read of or opinions on this book.

OH. MY. PENGUINS. If you’d told me, last week, that I’d be reading a book that mixed horror and fairy tales into one gruesome mess–and done so in an entertaining and awesome way–I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I’ve read a few books pegged as “horror” recently and overall been vastly disappointed, so when I picked up this book, I didn’t let my hopes get TOO high. But GOOOOOODNESS, I underestimated this read!

So let’s talk plot first this time, because oh my, this book is TOTALLY plot-centric and I absolutely adooooored that! It’s not often you find a book that’s focused on plot yet still manages to implement and introduce complex, well-rounded, awesome characters…but this book?! This book manages to make everything seamless. The plot is action-packed and SUPER intense, to boot. Like seriously, penguins–I was clenching my fists, sitting on the edge of my seat, terrified about what was still to come. And that doesn’t happen to me often these days–usually I can see where things are going and puzzle out what the major “plot twists” are. D. Melhoff? You caught me totally by surprise, SEVERAL times, and I love that you did!

Like I said, these characters are well-rounded and complex. I really enjoyed that we also get different varying perspectives from them (the better to watch you DIE, my dear!) It brought a fun and unique twist to the story, and helped to keep the air of mystery and drama at SUPER INTENSE instead of just chugging along like some other horror novels I’ve read. I really enjoyed the way this comes full-circle in a sense, too–and that ending! That ending will just…gah. It’s bound to haunt me, just as I’m sure it’s bound to haunt that specific character. GAAAAH! GAH! I need more horror novels like THIS, okay?! So…someone recommend me some maybe?

In the end, this was a super entertaining, gruesome, intensely satisfying read and I cannot wait to see what D. Melhoff does in the future! The plot is action-packed and blood-soaked, the characters are like balls of shady snark, and the read was SO so worth it! I recommend this to lovers of horror, murder mysteries, and varying points of view. If characters actually bled, this book would be dripping red–be sure to wear an apron while reading, and remember, even fairy tales have a dark side.

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Blog Tour, Excerpt, and Review: Grimm Woods Blurb A remote summer camp becomes a lurid crime scene when the bodies of two teenagers are found in a bloody, real-life rendering of a classic Grimm’s fairy tale.