#characterization. and this was commented on chapter four. there are over twenty chapters. so why comment on 4 and say you finished the stor

[lokigodofaces]

why am i suddenly feeling like ppl are sus? advice?

read the tags if you want to find out, tl;dr i feel like some comments i'm getting on ao3 are sketchy but maybe i'm just being weird about it

[prioritysope]

Cheating

Reader: Female

Character: Oikawa Tooru

Rating: Explicit

Chapter: 0/24

I also posted this on my Archive Of Our Own and Wattpad account if you prefer reading it on there instead.

spotify playlist: cheating | music playlist

Table of Contents

Chapters 23/24 (without the prologue and epilogue)

Chapter one: AGAIN

Chapter two: SIT ON MY FACE (NSFW, +18)

Chapter three: SUSPICION

Chapter four: SPICY DATE (NSFW, +18)

Chapter five: THINGS NEVER CHANGE

Chapter six: REVELATION

Chapter seven: FIGHT

Chapter eight: TAKE IT OFF (NSFW, +18)

Chapter nine: FIRST DATE

Chapter ten: SCARLETT

Chapter eleven: FIGHT

Chapter twelve: SLOW

Chapter thirteen: ALL MINE (NSFW, +18)

Chapter fourteen: RUMOR

Chapter fifteen: GIRLFRIEND

Chapter sixteen: KARMA

Chapter seventeen: WOULD YOU BE MY PROM DATE?

Chapter eighteen: NEW FRIENDS

Chapter nineteen: GIRL’S NIGHT

Chapter twenty: NON-STOP (NSFW, +18)

Chapter twenty one: BAD NEWS

Chapter twenty two: PROM NIGHT

Chapter twenty three: FREAKY NIGHT (NSFW, +18)

Chapter twenty four: LAST DAY IN JAPAN

Epilogue: ARGENTINA

They were in a party right after the Aoba Johsai vs Karasuno game wich they won. Everything changed when a random guy came to her on the dance floor, trying to stick to her body to the beat. Although she always tried to push him, until her boyfriend came and grabbed him by the shirt.

"Don't you understand that she doesn't want to dance with you, buddy?" He muttered angrily. His jaw was clenched, not releasing the boy from his grip.

"In that case, shouldn't you tell your slutty girl not to wear such provocative clothes?" The guy commented with a wicked smile appearing on his lips.

That comment was what broke Hajime's patience and he didn't wait to land the first blow at the boy's face. A couple of people around her were beginning to realize the scene that she knew must stop, or it would get worse.

"Hajime! Please stop, babe." She screamed over the music as she grabbed her boyfriend's arm, trying to pull him up; clearly failing.

"Get the fuck out, bitch!" Iwaizumi yelled at her, pushing her aside in a somewhat brusque way, falling to the ground.

Gaby was desperate and surprised by the way he called her. At that time she didn't know how to separate them from their stupid fight. She looked around carefully, looking for someone from the volleyball team and could see Oikawa from afar. She beckoned him from where she stood until he came closer, understanding what she needed. Tooru took Hajime by the arms, already stopping in less than a rooster crowing, this embarrassing scene. Iwaizumi began to claim why not let him break that boy's face. However, he has not spoken to Gaby at any time until they got to their house.

"Iwa, baby, you haven't spoken to me since the party. Are you so upset?" She whispered as she approached her boyfriend. You could still see how angry he was from his facial expressions. "You don't have to worry, my love. I am not offended by what he..." Iwaizumi cut her off.

Iwaizumi and Gaby had been fighting over something totally stupid for a long time, according to her. This is not her first fight because of how she dresses. Fights are almost always because of his jealousy, no matter why. All the blame falls on her, no matter who started it all.

"It offends me because what it says is true." He said, now looking at her. You dress like a prostitute and that is why everyone approaches you. His hand was captured on Gaby's face, in a strong slap. "Shit...baby. You know it was not my intention, forgive me."

Hajime tried to get closer to her, but she pushed him away. This was the third time he had laid a hand on her; however, she always ended up forgiving him. She knew within herself that it was wrong and that the relationship was getting totally toxic. Even their best friend, Oikawa Tooru, has tried to talk to both of them. Without giving any result. Until Oikawa once admitted that he has feelings for her. Gaby took one last look at Iwaizumi, then grabbed her cell phone and her car keys, and thus left the apartment she had shared with him since they started dating.

Gaby started her car and headed for the Oikawa apartment. He was the only person I could count on. During that time, she remembered the proposal he made to her.

"Just think about it, little cutie. You don't feel happy with Iwa-chan anymore, right?" He had that flirtatious smile that characterizes him. She was just sitting next to him while they waited for her boyfriend who was taking a shower after his practice. "We will only have sex. I know I told you that I like you, but I can hide those feelings so you don't feel uncomfortable.

"I don't know, Tooru. What if he finds out?" She was really considering that proposal. "Let me think about it, okay?

She was already sick of all that toxicity from their relationship. She believes that Oikawa's proposal is the solution or until she knows how to end her relationship with Iwaizumi. Maybe it was wrong, but she couldn't take it anymore. What could possibly go wrong with having sex with your best best after every fight with your boyfriend? There would be no feelings involved. Just two friends pleasuring and enjoying each other. In addition to distracting from the shit that she currently lives with.

Toc. Toc. Toc.

Three knocks on the door were enough to have Oikawa opening the door. His face showed surprise to see her there, but his expression changed quickly when Tooru saw her face somewhat reddish from Hajime's slap, the dry tears on her cheeks and her eyes red from crying so much.

“Again? God, little cutie. I'm so sorry.” He said softly, taking her by the hands to make her enter and hold her tightly against his chest.

“I accept your proposal, Shittykawa. And don't make me repeat it.” she murmured against his chest as her face flushed with shame. “Just promise me this. No feelings, okay?”

Oikawa smiled at the shorter's words. “I promise, little cutie.”

[bedlamsbard]

Writing tag game -- tagged by @lessattitudemorealtitude

how many works do you have on Ao3?

Discounting podfic on which I’m listed as a co-author, 24.  My concept writing doesn’t go to AO3 and the vast majority of my Narnia fic was never cross-posted there.  (Or reposted there, actually, I think most of it pre-dates the AO3.)

what’s your total Ao3 word count?

1,050,810.  oh, huh, I didn’t actually realize I’d passed the one million word mark (probably with Crown).

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

all of these ended up being Star Wars, which is not a huge surprise.  Morning will probably reach Dirt in the next couple of updates, I’d guess.

Immutable, or, Five Times Obi-Wan Kenobi Compromised His Jedi Ethics for Anakin Skywalker -- this is not the oldest Star Wars fic on there, but I think it’s the second oldest. people just really like 5 times fic.

Wake the Storm - did you know that when I started Wake I assumed it was a very niche trope in what was, at the time, a pretty dead fandom? the kudos count on Wake actually outnumbers Gambit by more than 1600 kudos, so the number of people who go from Wake to Gambit is a lot lower than you might think.

Queen's Gambit - a significantly lower kudos count than Wake or Immutable.  Gambit’s such a weirdo of a story, tbh, I can’t be surprised by anything about Gambit anymore.

On the Edge of the Devil's Backbone - about 600 kudos less than Gambit, so less difference between Gambit and Backbone than between Wake and Gambit.

Dirt in the Machine - another older fic.  I’d rewrite this one if I cared enough to do so, because it’s not at my current standards (Immutable isn’t either, for that matter) and I kind of wince every time I get comments on it.  this is the first one of the top five to have below 1K kudos.

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I’ll usually respond to direct questions, but I very, very seldom respond to comments in general.  This is an old standing policy of mine that’s now more than a decade old -- it used to be I’d wait twenty-four hours before responding, then I’d respond right before the next chapter went up, and for a while I’d only respond to comments on the first few chapters of a story.  Now I just mostly do not.  The reasons for this are: (1) many, many years ago, I lost my temper pretty badly at a comment on a fic of mine (this was pre-AO3, this was back in my LJ days), and after that I moved to the “wait twenty-four hours” response so I didn’t say anything without thinking about it, (2) I do go back and reread comments but I hate rereading my own responses, (3) I prefer to know the comments numbers on my fic are all from actual comments and not from me saying “thanks for reading!”, (4) I can’t take that kind of responsibility for answering every single comment, man.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Of stuff I’ve written in the past ten years? (I can’t really remember before that.)  Maybe Backbone, because it ends on that pretty upbeat “yay team we’re going to be rebels now!” note.  or Devil’s in the Details (other side part 1), though I don’t really want to consider it a finished fic even though it’s technically finished; it has another “yay team we’re back together (minus Ezra)” ending.  I tend to end on complicated and reasonably open endings, not like...happy endings.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

probably Gambit for the “everything is super fucked up” factor and also the fact that I never wrote the sequel. plus it ended with the entire Wake trio split up in a whole new universe, plus back in the Gambitverse Amidala not able to go back to Naboo, Ahsoka shunned, Palpatine’s new empire, Rex trapped in the Gambitverse, etc.

do you write crossovers?

I did in my Narnia days. I don’t anymore. Working in widespread fandoms like Star Wars or the MCU is basically like writing crossover fic within the same universe, anyway.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

*hysterical laughter*

...yes. yes I have. it’s the reason every time I get a comment notification on Gambit or Wake I freeze in absolute terror. people HATE Wake and Gambit.  I hate to say never, but I will probably never write those characters or in that series again.

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

not really?  I’ve done relatively non-explicit sex but it’s not something I’m super comfortable writing, especially in recent years. I’m much more likely to do a fade to black.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think Gambit got scraped once when it was still in progress and my response was something along the lines of “good luck, bro,” given the whole “still in progress” thing.

have you ever had a fic translated?

I’ve gotten a couple of translation requests but I can’t recall if anything’s ever been translated.  (Or if I responded to them...I know a few I forgot to respond.)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, back in my Narnia days.  Some SW concept writing and that ended so badly that I’ll never co-write again.

what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Kanan/Hera, of course!

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

gods, Dust in the Air, my Narnia Last Battle AU.  Back when I started it in 2008 or so I didn’t have the self-control or discipline I do now, even if I had a lot of the worldbuilding ability and the ability to conceive of if not execute long plot arcs, and I broke off more than I could chew.  If I ever went back to it I’d probably have to do a complete rewrite and it has the unique problem among my WIPs of being the last major fic I wrote in present tense -- I now write exclusively in past tense.  The bones of the story are good, I’d just have to go back to the bones and not just pick up where I left off.

what are your writing strengths?

Plot, worldbuilding/environment, action.  I also do genuinely think I’m very good at characterization too, but I think they’re all inter-related.  (Except the action, that’s me alone.  I love writing action and I generally get a lot of compliments on my action scenes.)  look, I know it’s conceited, but I’m good and I know I’m good, and I’m good in a pretty well-rounded way for the genre I write.

what are your writing weaknesses?

brevity. can’t do it.

honestly, there are others, but I don’t write stories where they’d come up.  I think I have a tendency to get to bogged down in dialogue in a way that I’ve never quite solved.  I also let my emotions take over too much and not in the good fannish way, in the “I’m having a fucked up relationship with canon or fandom and it’s affecting my ability to work” way.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

please stop having your Asgardians speak Latin for magic, man, that’s my feeling on it.

okay, my feelings on it for me -- I’ve sprinkled bits and pieces of Huttese, Twi’leki, and tee-tiny bits of other stuff here and there in fic.  I’d not be comfortable doing more than that because the only other language that I really feel comfortable doing anything significant in is Latin, and even then I’d hesitate. also, like, Latin! not a language that comes up in the fandoms I write in.  even then, like -- any extended dialogue should be intelligible to the audience, and I don’t expect my audience to be able read anything other than English; I’d rather just say “they switched to Twi’leki to say” or something similar.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

like, online? Harry Potter. for things that I didn’t post online because I didn’t know what fic was yet? probably either The 10th Kingdom or The Mummy.

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

On the Edge of the Devil’s Backbone.  I think it’s the best thing I’ve ever written, I think it’s the most tightly plotted, I think it’s got the best worldbuilding, I think it’s remarkably consistent thematically, and it was, at the time, a fic that I was very devoted to finishing or dying trying, because I was going through it at the time and some of it was connected to the fic.

I don’t tag people, but please go for if you want!

[fictionalrambles]

Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Twenty

Submitted by Magify83

Five Fave Fics: 

The first fic I have to pick is without a doubt Body of memory by @glorious-spoon​

It was the very first fic I read on A03, and I wasnt even a member at that point. I had just binged three season of  Shadowhunters, after you tube showed me a collection of malec scenes ( I'd come off a difficult night shift and couldn't sleep. I was perusing you tube, after being awake for over twenty six hours. )

Anyway, I decided it was a cool show, but i needed more. And it had been a while since I'd read fanfic - just life, kids, job etc, I hadn't had much time for reading. but I found myself on A03 and was literally scrolling the shadowhunters tag and say Body of memory. which sounded interesting. So I started it and I couldn't stop. I felt very emotionally invested instantly. It was almost complete when I found it - just one chapter to go, but it just was sooooo good. it literally grabbed me and I couldn't stop reading it. It felt very true to the characterization I had enjoyed in the show and it left enough to the imagination to keep me invested  - as in it got me to read into things - it didn't neatly explain every single scene. It allowed some reader interpretation - I love that. It's my first book mark and remains something I dip into on a semi regular basis. This feels like it was the fic that became my gateway int Shadowhunters fic in general.

The second fic is Damsel in distress by @ralfstrashcan​ 

This is like me. I read that and don't think I've actually laughed that much reading a fic ever. While spending the entire time understanding the main character so completely. It was a perfectly reasonable response to seeing a spider in my opinion. At the same time, from a lovely fluff pov I loved the characterization of Alec, that he'd be terrified of something yet try to save (while also using as a human shield, because all bets are off when spiders are involved.) that whole thing was just the absolute cutest.

Fic three - Reconstruction by bumblebeesknees. 

The final chapter - the fight, and then the entire discussion about everything Alec has held back,  trying to make himself "worthy" of Magnus. Fighting against the feelings and failures he perceives of himself. I found that entire thing so damn emotional and so so well written. It felt like a conversation. The way certain things get repeated, the way they both took a different meaning form the same words. And just the idea that they were both so broken without having the other one entirely - like them trying to hide their flaws, and so holding back bits of themselves, made the relationship completely nonviable while they were like that - and so that inevitable realization, that all of someone, even the less attractive traits are necessary for a relationship to be whole and healthy was just beautiful to me.

Fic four is One Missed Call by @sugarandspace​ 

This one was almost hard to read. That whole first chapter - it felt very atmospheric, like you were there. The actual call - so Alec - he needs to hear Magnus' voice, yet he needs to make sure Jace will be ok too. So he takes that time. To ask Magnus to take care of Jace too. While letting Magnus know that he’s the most important thing in Alec's world. It's falling down around him and he needs Magnus to know his impact. His importance. How loved he is and the difference he has made. It's stunning. 

Subsequent chapters are wonderful too, the fallout and reactions from everyone, the way Magnus didn't even turn his phone on for hours after, because nothing mattered at that point except Alec. And Alec eventually having to make Magnus delete that message. the feels were real in this one.

Fic 5 is my current love. You, Your Sex is On Fire by jumbled_sentiment 

She knows I love this fic because I stalk her in the comments for updates. It's hard for me to explain why I love this. Its just sweet. It's Alec and Magnus just kinda falling together and realizing they just fit. They're so different, yet they compliment each other beautifully. I like the way it starts all in kind of thing, literally with them in bed together, then works back. And then them getting together is just cute and lovely. And again very personally this has had some updates waiting for me on days when I have really needed a come down from work. The timing has been impeccable sometimes :) And I absolutely love it, probably more than I should, finding all the little bits of British wording that slip through. It entertains me more than it probably should when I'm reading and I read something very obviously British, like pavement, mum, fringe,  bloody (As in "oh bloody hell" to describe irritation, not a descriptor of blood.) I just find myself getting very excited when I get an email telling me there’s a new chapter.

[sebthesnipe]

The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagain An Analysis? Chapter 3 Part 2

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 3: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

The Dreamer

by @whatwashernameagain

Reminder: Spoilers under cut!

As Always if you have not done so please read @whatwashernameagain ‘s The Dreamer Chapter 3 before you continue. This analysis is pretty much a giant spoiler if you haven’t.

Also, you can find additional links to The Dreamer analysis on AO3 (and other works by me) here on my masterpost.

Warnings: homophobia, internalized homophobia, republican brainwashing, manipulation, mentioned pedophilia, violence, threatened sexual abuse, injuries, being pressured into sex, nakedness

Gonna just jump back in…

“Being kind as usual, no one chastised Roman for not capturing the Utilitarianist while he was recovering” (Whatwashernameagain).

Though Eva has never specifically said that Roman’s team is out to get him the dramatic irony is certainly implied. She has a way with directing the storyline through these paces to inform the reader that there is nothing ‘kind’ about Roman’s team. Whatever reason they have for not commenting on Roman’s failure to capture the Utilitarianist it is unlikely that it is out of the goodness of their hearts.

“Virgil was anxiously pacing around the bed as he came to, guilty and confused about why he’d been unable to track his friend. The poor thing, he was way too paranoid. Roman did his best to calm him” (Whatwashernameagain).

We see a bit into Virgil’s personality here. It is actually quite interesting if we pay close attention. Here Virgil is showing his anxious side. His guilt and confusion are moving him from his flat characterization (a character that is used to reveal information to push the story along) to a more rounded character. His guilt and confusion provide more insight into his emotional state, making him more developed.

Something, I find just as interesting is that the word ‘paranoid’ is used to describe him. While we as readers know that this is very fitting for the Virgil that is the personification of Anxiety. However, as a handler it is a bit… extreme. Here is a man meant to guide Roman through danger after danger. A typical person would need someone calm and collected in those intense situations. However, Virgil is not a calm and collected individual. Then again, Roman is not a typical individual. Perhaps, this opposition between the two personalities is intentional. I wouldn’t put it past Eva to think quite thoroughly through choosing Virgil as Roman’s handler, just as he was very thorough at choosing Remy as Logan’s. Roman’s… impulsivity *cough*adorable stupidity*cough* is the perfect balance for Virgil’s extreme paranoia and vice versa. For someone wanting to run into every burning building, someone jumping at every shadow can help remind him of his own mortality.

Speaking of more rounded characters, our boi Roman is making some progress himself.

“Despite not being in trouble for getting captured, the rescue had gotten to the media and was fueling the theories about the Dreamer and the Utilitarianist - to a worrying degree. It bothered Roman, since it was clearly ludicrous that he would fall for someone so irritating and immoral, but at least now that Virgil kept him updated, he wasn’t so ashamed anymore” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t go into our poor poor Roman’s denial again, but I don’t think it needs to be pointed out here anyways. We all see it. Though, I suppose the constant reminder is some strong foreshadowing. Though we can see Roman’s conscious opinion of Logan. He continues to call him irritating and immoral and perhaps Roman truly believes he is, though more likely subconsciously Roman find him heroic and misguided. The good news is that despite the unwanted publicity Roman is far more secure that he was prior thanks to Virgil.

Teal Swan (An American Spiritual Teacher) once said “We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we think we know about the unknown.” In Roman’s case, he was presented with a collection of hardcore BDSM fan art of himself and The Utilitarianist. The pictures themselves did not scare him, pictures themselves are not scary. However, it is what he thought he knew of the people who created them that scared him. It wasn’t until Virgil educated him that this changed. Roman’s knowledge of this ‘unknown’ grew and what he thought he knew shifted. Suddenly, these images weren’t so scary anymore. (That and he thinks he’s straight which is amusing AF).

Lillian Russell also once said “We all have a fear of the unknown. What one does with that fear will make all the difference in the world.” Roman may have allowed his fear to overpower him for a moment but he chose to stand against it and thus overcame it (with Virgil’s help of course). I realize that this is a bit off topic, but it is something that I feel needs to be said, especially now. The world around us is falling apart are there is no one hero to save us. Some people believe that this is the natural world fighting back against us, others believe it is a religious occurrence. I can’t say one way or another, but I do know that the fear is the same no matter the reasons behind this virus that is taking so many lives.

I can’t say for other countries or even other states, but the reaction to this pandemic that I have seen is heartbreaking. My family and I don’t go out, not because of fear of contracting the virus, but because of people’s reaction to the fear they feel. Fear is a strong motivator that causes conflicts among thousands of people every day. It is a virus in and of itself, breeding and spreading wherever it goes. The world is terrified, and it is our job to react appropriately to these fears, as individuals. You can’t control your neighbor’s reaction to their fear, but you can control your own and sometimes that is enough. Sometimes that enough to calm those around you. Perhaps you can be the beacon of hope that they need to find their own stability. Perhaps you can be the difference in their world.

Okay… Rant over… Back to the wonderful writing!

“Yes, the implication of being in a homosexual relationship and performing sodomy with his nemesis, something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes, still made heat rise into his cheeks, but he couldn’t help softening towards the mostly harmless fanculture” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pay really close attention to the wording here because it is very important! Eva knows what she’s doing, the sly dog! Roman POV points out that the homosexual relationship that is painted between he and Logan is ‘something he’d been taught was impure and went against god’s wishes’. Hold up! Rewind! ‘Something he’d been taught’. No where in this section does Roman’s POV ever claim that Roman, himself, believes that it is wrong. He points out that he is taught that it is wrong, but once again we see the same impressionable boy I’ve mentioned throughout the previous chapters. A child’s thoughts is not their own, but their parents.

Since the last time I mentioned this, I have actually looked further into research behind this view (having children of my own, I find it even more compelling). A study from Cambridge University, published in 2013 points out that “Children are more likely to adopt their family's political views when politics is important to their parents, and the children of politically engaged parents tend to become politically engaged adults” (Dinas, Elias). Is this starting to sound familiar? Well, hold onto your trousers (if you’re wearing any) because it gets better. “When these transmission dynamics are considered together, an important hypothesis follows: the children who are most likely to initially acquire the political views of their parents are also most likely to later abandon them as a result of their own engagement with the political world” (Dinas, Elias). So, Roman is most likely getting his political views from his father through he’s more likely to lose those views as he gets older. Perhaps, we are seeing this now? He has never claimed to have the same beliefs, though he has pointed out that he has been thought them. So, the question is, when? When, if ever, will Roman discard these beliefs?

Well, other research shows that “Young people from politicised homes may be more likely to acquire an initial partisan orientation from their parents, but they are also more likely to abandon that preference as they enter adulthood and experience politics for themselves” (2013). So, most children who have adopted their parent’s belief like Roman has tend to shed those beliefs as they experience the real world and grow into adults. Here is where things change for RoRo. Firstly, he's never really experienced the world without his father or the team his father has provided to look after him. So, no real-world experience. Secondly, from what we have gathered Roman is still fairly young. Most likely, he’s in his mid-twenties, Logan being around thirty. So, Roman has also only been an adult for a few years now. That combined with the fact that he is just now breaking away from his father’s influence long enough to experience the world around him makes his realization that he does not have the same belief system that he once shared with his father inevitable. My only concern is that the possibility of Roman having an identity crisis due to his discovery of an isolated belief system. The poor boy is going to have a hard-enough time when he realizes he is gay… but to have his beliefs stripped away and rebuilt after defining himself by them so completely is going to be harder than anything he has ever faced.

I have barely managed to get through two paragraphs… Oof… We’re going to have to skim a bit if I’m going to get through this chapter in just four parts. We see Roman’s view points on LGBTQ+ community and his purity that we love so much! Then we see Karen’s (-.- You’re so F*ing static Karen!) view point of it. She suggests that they pray for them and their ‘wrong’ doings. Which would send me on a rant about ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ and the human constructions that they are… and morality… and we’re just going to skip all that ^.^.

I’m going to brush past a lot of the dialog here but there are somethings that I want to touch on. Firstly, Eva uses verbal irony so beautifully that it hurts. Karen mentions that the LGBTQ+ community’s allegiance shows ‘the damage [the community’s] lifestyle had done to [the community’s] morals’ and asks Roman if he wants to ‘help people see a more healthy way to live’ (Whatwashernameagain). What Karen is really implying is that all of these people are sinful and need to be punished for the atrocities of their life choices. Karen’s pleasant tone and careful wording helps conceal the real meaning of her words which makes the verbal irony here quite beautifully written. Though what do we expect from Eva?

Before Roman can give his full reply, she cuts him off like the bitch she is…

I might be projecting a bit… I apologize…

Though, I also want to point out that during the interaction between Karen and Roman she never refers to him as anything but ‘dear’. Now, this is probably a me thing, but I can’t help myself. So, if you’ve read all of my analysis, you’d know that I have a background in Law Enforcement. Why is this important? Well, one of the first lessons you learn as a woman in Law Enforcement is that you don’t ever, EVER, allow someone to get away with calling you anything but Officer, Ma’am, or by your last name. Now, it might not seem that important to most people, but how can you expect someone to respect you if they continuously call you ‘girl’, ‘baby’, ‘sweetheart’, or ‘dear’. These are pet names. There is no respect to be had when someone is calling you by a pet name… at least not in a professional sense (romantic relationships are a different story. My husband can call me baby anytime he wants, and I still know that he respects me). Granted, there are some people that do this unconsciously. I’ve seen it mostly in older men who call every woman younger than them ‘sugar’ or ‘darlin’.

Still, there is a problem presented here. I’ve mentioned a number of times throughout this analysis of our thoughts effect on the outside world (specifically water and thus ourselves). A person can mean no disrespect by calling someone in an authoritative position ‘dear’ and yet by doing so, they effect their own thoughts, even subconsciously, resulting in a disrespect they may not even be aware of.

Karen provides us with a prime example of this. She calls Roman ‘dear’ because she has no respect for him. In her eyes, Roman is nothing but a tool to be used for her own gain. He holds no respect from her. He is merely a child to be manipulated however she sees fits. Hence, while she is maneuvering the hero to where she wants him, she refers to him as ‘dear’.

The next issue is that Roman is putty in her hands. The next paragraph is a reminder of Roman’s gullible nature. We see him easing into Karen’s manipulations and blaming himself once more. We see the same self-deprecation that has become a Roman original. It reminds us that Roman’s insecurities are yet another tool that his team uses against him. I believe I have mention something similar to this before, but in the words of Napoleon Hill “The only limitation is that which one sets up in one’s own mine.” In other words, Roman is limiting himself with his self-insulting nature. Once he allows himself to let go of that he will be a force to reckon with, someone even Karen’s bitch-ass can’t handle.

However, we see another indication that Roman’s views no longer match up with his team’s. Though it is obvious once again that his tendencies to put himself down really hinder him from being the hero that he has always dreamed of being.  

“The fact that he wasn’t all that bothered by the shipping was probably making it worse. He was forgetting that his personal opinion wasn’t what mattered here” (Whatwashernameagain).

We also see him try to reaffirm his thoughts of Logan. He has to remind himself that his current thoughts of Logan are not what they are supposed to be. Logan is the Utilitarianist and the Utilitarianist is still his archenemy. Roman, still in denial, is trying to recenter himself for the task at hand. Of course, this also brings up the sense of paranoia that Karen is helping sew inside him. This conflict of course is more than just what it seems.

Roman’s dilemma of right and wrong is also a battle of his sexuality. It is a battler of his views. It is a battle of who he is. Is Roman the man that found comfort in another man’s arms? Or is Roman the man who subjected himself to torture to be what he thought the world needed? Is he larger than life or at the end of a day is he as vulnerable to his emotions as the rest of us are?

We also see more of that dramatic irony as Karen plants the notion that the Utilitarianist did not help individuals. While, for the most part this is true, there is more to this. We know that as the Utilitarianist Logan pays no attention to the individual. In that aspect Karen is correct. However, Logan has shown on more than one occasion, his appreciation for Roman’s work and his appreciation for Roman himself. This would imply that Karen is correct; The Utilitarianist does not help individuals just as the Dreamer would never seek the help of a villain. However, Logan would help an individual, just as Roman would seek comfort from another. These men are more than their uniform despite what Karen would have them believe.

Eva moves into foreshadowing with a simple sentence, a perfectly places three word sentence that hits us all where it hurts:

“Roman’s heart sank” (Whatwashernameagain).

Whatever is about to come is gonna hurt…

Karen claims they have found a way to fix the entire situation caused by the rescue… Still calling my bae ‘dear’ -.- Most of us know where this is going and…

Susan…

By the way, I love these horribly generic cis white names that Eva keeps coming up with. It’s hilarious. As for Susan’s description…

“Flipping open the file, Roman found that the solution was called Susan. She was a white woman with blonde hair and cornflower-blue eyes. Upper middle class. Conservative” (Whatwashernameagain).

I have so many issues with this… First off, leave it to these assholes to chiose a nazi’s wet dream for our boi. (No offense Eva, I love you and I think it was a perfect choice <3) So, to start off, they chose a woman that conform’s to America’s unrealistic standards of beauty. I’m sure she where’s far too much make up and could have any man in the world. This, of course, is in no way a shot at woman that look like this. Every person is beautiful, and I will not body shame someone no matter how they look. However, it is obvious that Eva created Susan to conform to these standards and thus needs to be addressed. The fact that Susan is Middle class is also a deliberate choice in the sense that if they chose a woman that was any higher Roman would be seen as greedy and shallow and if he were to be seen with someone of the lower class, he would lose funding. As for Conservative… Well… I don’t think I need to say anything here.

I’m going to move on before I get too annoyed with this. As we move forward, Karen notes that Roman looks spooked. This is call indirect characterization, which is when another character tells us something about a character. In this case Eva is using Karen to reinforce that Roman is uncomfortable with the opposite sex or romantic relations in general. Though as a reader we already are aware of the ship this fic is based around, so we know that the later probably isn’t true. Karen also refers to Susan as ‘A little friend’ which is very demeaning and implies that Karen sees Susan the same way she sees Roman, as a tool. It is obvious that Karen believes Roman can be persuaded by sex though his uncomfortable nature certainly speaks otherwise.

This also highlights a bit of the Right wing’s thoughts on women in general and how they should be treated though I feel as if I should refrain from pushing my own opinions on their beliefs into this analysis. However, in extremists’ case (both men and women) have repeated claimed that women have a specific ‘role’ in society, and it is not equal to their male counter parts. Now, the fact that I disagree may label me as a feminist, but I prefer the label of equalist as you will note when we get into the heartier bits of this chapter.

I once again want to remind everyone of the warning attached to this chapter. They are there for a reason, please pay attention to them.

“Roman stared at her, trying to find words for the sudden fear he felt. Laughter about his shocked expression filled the room, then quieted and finally tapered off into awkward silence.

“I… I need to think about it.” Roman had finally stuttered. Karen’s smile had grown forced” (Whatwashernameagain).

Here we see Roman faced with fear that is not surprising in an individual that has not realized he is homosexual. In fact, it is a very real and horrible feeling. I mentioned in my last post the fact that mental anguish can feel worse than physical and here we see a man being mentally tortured.

In a previous chapter I also discussed Roman’s inability to watch porn. Imagine, if you will, a man who has not accepted himself for who he is and can not allow himself the thought of two men together. Therefore, gay porn does not exist to him. Instead the only porn he knows of is male+female. The thought of sex with a female makes him uncomfortable and/or squeamish. He does not need to realize that he is gay to know this and instead probably thinks there is something wrong with himself. So, perhaps it is not the Roman is different from every other (sexually driven (because I realize there are different sexualities that do not have the same urges)) American’s out there, he is not alone, it is just that he doesn’t understand his own preferences. Our poor baby has never been taught how to cope in a heterosexual driven world and thus buries his true self from everyone including himself. This would make the forced relationship between himself and Susan all the more painful, no doubt.

As if to prove my point, Eva describes the room’s laughter at Roman’s hesitance. No doubt they know he is gay even if he doesn’t and finds his torture amusing. Though, our poor naïve RoRo probably doesn’t see it that way.

““Think about it? But of course, dear. We just want you to have a coffee together, go on a walk. If she’s not the right one for you, we can surely find another lady friend for you. Is it the hair color? The figure? We are very flexible for your preferences. Within a reasonable limit, of course.” She soothed him, patting his hand again” (Whatwashernameagain).

Karen of course, senses these things and tries to reassure Roman. She reminds him that their relationship doesn’t have to be sexual, in her subtle way. She also adds that if he doesn’t like Susan, they can find someone else more suited to his needs. However, she pointedly adds that it has to be ‘another lady friend’, which of course would imply that she is aware the Roman might be gay as well, and that it is unacceptable.

We also see Karen discussing women as if they can be ordered off a menu. I’ll take a five four Hispanic woman, hold the curves! Bitch please! You’re an over glorified pimp at this point! No one should be characterized in this manner, men, women, or non-binary! It is an outrage and the fact that it is so upsetting while still so subtle is another nod to how amazingly skilled the author is. Eva astounds us once again by creating a realistic subtle lifelike villain. Brava, Brava!

Roman sees Karen’s intended words as well, which is a development for the naïve man. He sees exactly what his limitations are:

“A reasonable limit meaning white, Christian, conservative, born American, cis, heterosexual female, his mind supplied. Suddenly, he felt terrible. His stomach hurt” (Whatwashernameagain).

By choosing a woman of these standards, Roman would be checking off all the boxes for his far Right winged team. If he misses any of these boxes it could send the wrong message. If she’s anything but heterosexual, then he supports LGBTQ+ communities. If she’s of any other culture, then he supports the minorities. If she is not conservative, then neither is he.

This is a big moment for the hero. He is finally grasping the idea of just how trapped he is there. He may be one of the strongest people in the world but the chains around him are heavier than those of a man in prison.

Still, fear is a powerful motivator and when faced with too much our instincts kick in. Roman faces his fight or flight instincts and fighting is not an option. So, he gives in. He agrees to Susan because what else can he do?

Still, ignoring the comment about men being men, that Eva know doubt added to hammer that last nail in Karen’s well-deserved coffin, we see more of Roman’s inner turmoil with his sexuality. “He tried not to think about the disastrous attempts at dating women, of the many nights he’d prayed to god to make him stop having those terrible thoughts, about his fear of going to hell for his dreams. He’d thought he’d escaped the pressure of going out with women when he’d dedicated his life to fighting for justice.

He buried himself under his blanket and tried not to think of her. This nice, normal girl, and about how wrong he felt imagining touching her” (Whatwashernameagain).

This gives me pause. Up until now it has been Roman’s unaware of his sexuality and at first seems much of the same; and yet, we see him mention dreams. What sort of dreams could Roman be having? Wet dreams of a certain vigilante? Probably nothing so lude, but a girl could dream. Regardless, it is possible that Roman is aware that he is homosexual and is simple repressing the knowledge for his own safety. Because, in a world as hostile as the one he is experiencing… Coming out can be as dangerous as stepping into the middle of a gang war…

     “Children with Politically Engaged Parents Are More Likely to Deviate from Their Parents' Political Views in Adulthood.” EUROPP, 17 May 2013, blogs.lse.ac.uk/europpblog/2013/05/17/children-with-politically-engaged-parents-are-more-likely-to-deviate-from-their-parents-political-views-in-adulthood/#Author.

Dinas, Elias. “Why Does the Apple Fall Far from the Tree? How Early Political Socialization Prompts Parent-Child Dissimilarity.” British Journal of Political Science, vol. 44, no. 4, 2014, pp. 827–852., doi:10.1017/S0007123413000033.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

[creative-type]

RE: twitter, BM comments being sin. Consider the reader who has been chewed out by writers. Consider other readers scouring BM for recommendations. Consider writers never commenting on other works, despite receiving comments, why reinvest? Consider the writer who never replies to comments. Some attention is better than none, and I think there are worse things than nice bookmark comments that more people see than comments. I understand the feeling of indirect feedback, but reasons might vary.

(For context, a couple days ago I sent out a tweet that it should be a sin for readers to hide their nicest comments in their bookmarks. That’s it. That’s the whole tweet.)

Anon, I hear what you’re saying, and in turn I ask for you to consider the position of writers, particularly writers who write one shots and gen fics (heaven forbid if they do both) which traditionally get much less feedback than shipping fics or multi-chapter works. 

Imagine spending over a month working on a fic for a Secret Santa project, struggling with writer’s block to the point that you have to completely blow up the fic and start over from scratch two weeks before the deadline while working forty — if not fifty — hours a week. Imagine losing another five days of writing due to blinding headaches that make if feel like an ice pick is being drilled into your temple over and over and over again, and being forced to mentally put together the last thousand words during a ten hour car trip as time whittles down because you get too car sick to actually write. Imagine doing your final edits while in the emergency room because your grandfather fell on Christmas Eve and needs a CAT scan to make sure he isn’t bleeding in his brain (you give a sigh of relief when the doctor says it’s “only” a broken rib, but as the only member of the family who works in the medical field and has slept in the last twenty-four hours, it’s your job to sleep on the couch while he rests in the recliner. Rest does not come easily). 

Imagine posting your fic, knowing that the writing is solid and the characterization good. It’s not a masterpiece, you know that, but it’s good enough considering the circumstances. Written there are seven thousand words that you’ve poured your life into, and you’re proud of what you’ve accomplished.

And imagine doing all that, and getting all of two comments in response.

Now, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I’ve had other people on Discord say they liked my work, and by some miracle of God I got a decent response on tumblr. My giftee liked the fic, and in the end that’s all that matters, because I wrote it for her. 

But unless I screenshot Discord compliments (which I have done) or go trawling through notes to see if someone said something in the tags (ditto), the easiest way to see if someone appreciated my work is to look at the comments. And you know what? That gets really fucking discouraging when at best you have a kudo to comment ratio of 10:1. 

You say sometimes writers are assholes? That we don’t always show our appreciation or respond in kind? Well, so are readers. Every time I post something I run the risk of flames or trolls or people screaming at me because I used a characterization that went against their personal head canon and therefore my whole work is trash. 

And just so you know, I don’t get a notification when someone writes something in their bookmarks. Unless I’m mistaken, I don’t get notified of bookmarks at all. So your “indirect feedback” isn’t really feedback at all, because most of the time I don’t even know it exists. 

I know my fics aren’t God’s gift to literature. Sometimes the writing isn’t my best or my plotting sloppy. I know there are going to be niche fics where I’m writing for an audience of one, and you know what? I’m okay with that. I’ve gotten to the point where I consider comments to be an added bonus. Something that’s nice to have, but not to expect. Because anything else is setting myself up for disappointment. 

But if you the reader are going through the effort to put a note in your bookmarks, know that 99.99% of the time the author would like to know that you enjoyed their work. Kudos don’t have the same effect as someone actually telling you “I liked this. Thank you for writing it”. 

And if you’re unsure of what to write in a comment, I promise that it doesn’t have to be a lot. Find one sentence you liked, quote it, and then say “I liked this sentence” That’s it. You’ve made a fanfic writer’s day right there. 

(Keyboard smashes are also accepted.)

And Anon? That tweet? It was a joke. Meant to be tongue in cheek. So next time instead of jumping me on a completely different platform maybe ask for a bit of clarification if you’re not sure of my intent.

[loquaciousquark]

hey! love your writing and hearing about your process. you have mentioned that you need to write out a full fic first, rather than writing and posting chapter by chapter. what is your process for editing those longfics? i finished the first draft of my first longfic and the idea of editing it seems incredibly overwhelming. do you have any recommendations?

thank you kindly, anon! this is a difficult question to answer because I have no actual writing...training, I guess, is the word? I was a biomedical sciences major and I have never taken a creative writing class in my life, so I haven’t the foggiest idea if what I do breaks every Prime Tenet of Proper Writing ever, so take everything here with a grain of salt.

Because the thing is: I hate editing. HATE it, loathe it with every atom and sinew of my body. It is by far my least favorite part of the writing process, and because of that I go to great lengths to avoid it as much as humanly possible.

I’ve talked before about how I outline, I think, but basically, I outline all my long pieces heavily to get as much right on the first pass as I can so that I can not have to do major edits. Drafts, likewise, don’t really exist for me; 95% of what I write on the first pass gets published in that form with only minor changes. I strongly suspect this is an artifact of me being an architect rather than a gardener in my writing; I can’t remember the last time I scrapped a whole scene (or even a major part of a scene) because of how heavily I outline first and how strict I am with myself in sticking to that outline. Probably the vampire AU, honestly, because of Jade--but more on that later.

Here’s an example of what some of my outlining looks like:

Like, sometimes I’ll do proper numerals and such, but more often than not it’s just paragraph descriptions of the major things that should happen in each chapter, and if there’s some phrase or idea that I really want to use, I’ll just jot down a few specific phrases right there in the document.

This does a few things for me, but the biggest is that it gives me a solid bird’s-eye view of the thing I’m trying to write. If I don’t know them already, what are the themes I want to emphasize? What are the plot threads that run throughout? If I have “introduce Gilchrist the evil baker” in chapter one, this helps give me the reminders to make sure Gilchrist has appropriate follow-through in each subsequent chapter and isn’t completely forgotten by the side-plot I accidentally  brought up in chapter three and loved way more than Gilchrist’s unleavened muffins.

And this is not to say that I build the entire lattice out of iron from the start so that there’s no room to grow. Even in this fic I’ve just finished, I was telling @eponymous-rose as I was working on the epilogue (which I hadn’t intended to have) that I wasn’t sure what it was going to be about, but that I could feel it was needed; and it wasn’t until I was writing the epilogue’s last few lines that I realized both why it was important regarding the overall themes of the fic as well as regarding the characters’ individual narratives, even though I hadn’t planned for it in the outline.

This process is also why I tend to write the whole fic before ever posting a single word. If I realize in chapter nine that I completely forgot Gilchrist the baker existed until I made an inadvertent reference to a crooked croissant, there’s not a darned thing I can do about it if chapters one through eight are already posted. And because I also have major personal hangups about making public mistakes, I would much prefer to write in private, fix my boo-boos before anyone else sees them, and THEN post, rather than getting a half-dozen comments wondering if this was all a secret patisserie plot all along.

The other thing I’ll add here is how important my betas are to me and how I write. I am by nature an incredibly impatient person--I’m the one shopping at 8:30pm at Hobby Lobby and then working on a spraypaint project in the backyard at midnight by phone flashlight because I refuse to wait until the next day--so this has always been a little hard for me. However, being able to give the whole fic at once to a beta and say here, this is it, and letting them read the whole thing at once--this is so invaluable to me in picking out things I’ve forgotten, scenes that didn’t translate well from my head to my page, or plot points that might be weaker than I first thought and need shoring in multiple places throughout the plot.

@jadesabre301 has been my beta for...years. Middle school? Twenty years, maybe? And by now we know enough of each other’s writing to know where the pitfalls are, how each person needs to be checked. I tend to forget side characters exist when I have a huge cast; Jade is always there to remind me they exist and to bring them back in (see Sebastian’s chapter in Ever Rise for a perfect example; that chapter didn’t exist before she told me to let him be alive again). I tend to overuse certain phrases and metaphors, and I’ll sometimes have characters repeat the same action several times in a scene without realizing (see Invicta, where I had three separate people cross their arms in less than 500 words before she called me on it).

Jade also has a marvelous ability to look at a work’s overall structure and point out which sections are strong and which sections are weak and need a little tweaking before they’re published. (Again, because I hate editing, the bones are usually sound enough that I can make these changes with only a few paragraphs or sentences here and there; and when Jade tells me to cut some line altogether I rarely save it, because if it didn’t make her cut here I know it’s not worth the saving anywhere.)

Example!

And because she also knows me very well, she is also very kind to point out the things she likes throughout her edits, which is just as invaluable a skill in an editor and I hope she realizes how important it has been to me over the years.

And because this is quickly getting much longer than I’d ever intended, I will close with the last thing that has helped me with my own editing when I’m (alas) forced to do it: I know what my problems are, if that makes sense. Not just the structural issues above, but repeating phrases and words to the point of distraction, hammering metaphors into the ground when a lighter touch would do them better service, and significantly overusing emdashes & semicolons. (Based on @eponymous-rose‘s beta/grammar check of this most recent fic, 43 of 350 or so emdashes died, and more will again when I get a chance to look over it once more.)

So when I’ve gone through it enough that I’m happy with the characterization and the plot threads and themes, as set out by the original outline I spent too much time on, then I go through and do one or two passes on word choice. To be quite honest, I do a Find search through the document for words I know I overused, then look at each usage and make sure they’re not too close to each other. Example--I did a search for “hard” on this last fic, and found I’d used it four times in the same paragraph. All in different ways--his eyes were hard, his grip hardened, he had a hard set to his shoulders, etc--but too much! So knowing the words (and issues in general) I tend towards and looking through to excise some of them specifically helps a lot in the editing I am willing to do.

SO!

To summarize: how do I edit my longfic? As little as possible!

heavy outlining prior to writing to make sure I have themes and plot threads properly established and mapped out throughout the piece

sticking closely to my outline throughout the writing process

sending only completed fics to beta so that they can read the whole thing at once and more easily pick out flaws in structure, theme, or character progression

ctrl-f words/phrases I know I most frequently overuse to cut the unnecessary ones (I’ll sometimes run the fic through something like this site to check phrase frequency for anything that might have slipped through)

and when all else fails, I set the whole thing aside for a week (again, I am impatient--longer would probably be better) and then come back and try to read it with fresh eyes

I hope this has at least been moderately helpful? Again, I’d like to emphasize that I have no idea what I’m doing, and this is hardly foolproof, but it’s worked for me so far, and hopefully at least a small part of it will be helpful to you. Thank you for asking!

[nomnomzombies]

Gold and Silver--Two Sides of the Same Coin

TW: discussion of mental illness, rape, and suicidal ideations

First and foremost, thank you so much to your overwhelming support of my 8x04 analysis, even though it wasn’t totally finished. As I was working on an outline to finish it up, something.... grew out of it.  

The themes I discussed in my previous essay addressed Identity and Accountability—but I’ve long believed that identity is a core principle of the themes explored throughout all of ASoIaF. That assertion may feel a little superficial in a world that’s dictated by ruling houses and are characterized by their sigils; a name is as powerful as a sword in Westeros. But the story we’ve all tuned in for is the characters. We’ve watched them on this transformative journey to understand where they were, where they are, and where they’re going. While we may or may not like what we understood of their journeys so far and what’s happening now, I think it’s important to sometimes take a step back and reevaluate everything we think we know. Because, let’s face it, the ending that we’re barreling towards is 100% Made in by Martin. While I’ve remained adamant that Dark/MQ Dan has been in the making for a long time—I'm passionate about understanding the other perspective. A common complaint that I’ve heard about MQD is that we already have a “Mad Queen” Cersei. Isn’t this redundant? Why are we pitting women against each other? Making Dan Mad Queen devalues Cersei’s arc/Mad Queen Dan is an injustice to Dan’s arc. But the question begins to take root—was there somewhere else we could have been looking for this ending? Were there other parallels we could have made that would have enlightened us to this transformation of Dan’s character? The last few weeks, I’ve been making offhanded comments about how if we were watching the show about Robert’s Rebellion and his early reign, would we be rooting for Cersei as our defensible, ruthless feminist icon? Has it really been there the whole time?

I’m primarily going to be citing the show with reinforcement from the text since I have incredibly poor organizational skills and I don’t know an effective way to look up specific quotes without leafing through a 500+ pg tome for twenty minutes at a crack.  

Shall we begin?  

The Proud Lion and the Beggar King

Cersei and Jaime’s relationship is a cornerstone of the series. We understand that the romance is forbidden, but we’re also coerced into justifying its legitimacy on the precedent that the Targaryens set throughout their entire reign. The characters themselves have had conversations where they verbalize these facts to not only one another but also in their defense to the other characters. Similarly, when we begin the narrative, Daenerys is accompanied by Viserys in Pentos and we’re confronted with this abusive and incestuous dynamic. Vis is very quick to bring up that they lived their lives with the understanding that they’d most likely be married to one another. Immediately, this parallel has become perpendicular. While Jaime and Cersei’s relationship is equally as abusive and manipulative under the surface, for different reasons we’re unsettled by Viserys’ outward physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse of his sister (seriously, what a piece of trash). While Jaime and Cersei have willingly engaged with one another, the dynamic is monumentally less consensual between the silver siblings. Continuing with this inverted parallel, we follow the four siblings throughout the first half of season/book one and see the power dynamic at play. Cersei is Robert’s queen, and we know that Jaime took the position with the King’s Guard to be closer to Cersei because otherwise Tywin would have forced Jaime to wed just as he brokered Cersei’s engagement (and subsequent coronation). Conversely, we see Viserys brokering the marriage between Daenerys and Khal (King) Drogo (and Dan’s subsequent ‘coronation’) for similar political means. Viserys refuses to leave Daenerys’ side, not out of love, but out of insecurity and the need for Drogo to make good on his end of the agreement. Daenerys, throughout the entire wedding is lamenting, “I want to go home,” which us book readers know that she’s referring to the house in Braavos. Every time she expresses this, Viserys quickly snaps that “Home is Westeros.” “There is no home until I take back my crown.” “That which was stolen from us—the Iron Throne.” The first half of book/season 1, Dan doesn’t give two shits about the Iron Throne. She wants family, love, connection. And she eventually finds this with the Dothraki. Love and community is not something that Cersei found in her marriage with Robert, but rather power. She became The Queen, as Dan became The Khaleesi. It’s important to note that the episodes in which the Twins and the Targs are separated from their counterparts are subsequent. The separation of the siblings are nearly simultaneous events. “The Wolf and the Lion” is the episode in which Jaime attacks Ned Stark in the streets of King’s Landing, then leaves the city to join Tywin’s host. The twins are separated for the next 3 seasons. The next episode, “A Golden Crown,” is the episode in which Daenerys has Viserys killed. Though their separation is permanent, we’re constantly assaulted with parallels between Dan and Vis from season 7 onward. Viserys is not with her in mind nor body, but rather in essence. As much as we understand Cersei to be the new Aerys II Targaryen, we’re being shown now that Dan is the new Viserys.

A Bride for an Army; A Marriage for a Crown.

Although Dan’s wedding night is very different from the show to the books, Cersei’s is incredibly consistent. From Dan’s point of view in the show, we see her raped by Khal Drogo for the first time—in the books, however, we’re met with a less brutal version of events. Although she was incredibly anxious throughout the course of the wedding, Daenerys II closes off with a back and forth of “No.” (Dan) “No?” (Drogo) “Yes.” (Dan). It’s interesting to note that Dan knew nothing about Drogo before their “greeting” ceremony in Daenerys I, whereas Cersei describes “worshipping” Robert in the lead up to their wedding. Interestingly enough, Cersei’s exact quote describes Robert as “lean and black-bearded,” though this is probably little more than a coincidence.... it’s not like the two blonde queens share any other physical traits in common..... It’s not like we’re talking about The Golden Lioness and The Silver Queen, or anything...

Anywho.... So we go from this idyllic state and crash back down to earth. In the time following their weddings, both women experience periods of severe depression and suicidal ideations. As Dan is acclimating to her time in the Dothraki sea, she describes her legs and hands as blistered and raw, and Drogo proceeds to engage in intercourse in the face of her obvious agony. She does not refuse, and neither does Cersei, though her tactics are a bit more refined as she describes using “other ways to finish [Robert] off.” We also see Dan reaching out to Doreah, a bedslave, in order to make her consorts with Drogo more enjoyable. Both women found solutions to the same problem, to make the nightmare more livable. But in the period following the marriage, both found themselves in situations where they’d rather it end than face another day (Dan) or throw themselves off of the red keep (Cersei). What kept them both going? For Dan, it was the beginning of the dragon dreams. For Cersei, it was her children.... (It’s almost like dragons and children have a parallel for these two women?)  

Regardless, they both have an “in” to political power through this marriage. They are both the queens to the strongest king in the land. 

Fast forward to the end of season one, and another two significant events take place for these women. S1e7, “You Win or You Die” marks the episode when Robert returns from his boar hunt, on his deathbed. We understand, later, that Cersei was the catalyst of the events that lead to his injury. S1e8, “The Pointy End” is the episode when Dan implores Mirri Maz Durr to treat Drogo’s bicep injury. It’s noteworthy that the two womens’ motivations were entirely opposite; nevertheless, the actions taken and the sequence of events that followed are directly paralleled, particularly when you analyze the outcomes of both scenarios. 

With Robert dead, and Drogo a husk, both of them ascend to a level of pseudo-power through their children. The last two episodes of season 1 mark the execution of Ned Stark and Joffrey’s rise to King, and Dan’s mercy-killing of Drogo and the blood sacrifice to birth the dragons. Both women spent the entirety of season 1 coming into a sense of agency and working to hone real power with lasting effects. The end of the season marks both of them moving into this new chapter of an elevated status (“Queen Mother” and “Mother of Dragons”). They’re far from achieving true power, but their game has now changed.  

The Mother

As far as I’m aware, only the show mentioned that Cersei and Robert had a trueborn son together. In the scene where Cersei visits Catelyn over Bran’s sickbed in 1x02, she talks about losing the Baratheon heir to a fever. This parallels the death of Rhaegal in that both of them would be the only “legitimate” children that they would have. The other three children would either be illegitimate in lineage or..... species.  

That’s really not where the parallels end between the six children, however, because as I talked about in my last essay (Identity and Accountability), the dragon and the throne have become direct symbols of the queens’ identity and power. We see this more fully-realized in later seasons, once Daenerys is able to ride Drogon into battle, and Cersei actually sits the throne, but the theory in its infancy still holds water because the children and the dragons are routes to power rather than power directly. People are still able to scoff at Cersei for being “Mother to the King” as they’re able to scoff at Dan’s dragons for being fledglings. The children and the dragons, themselves, hold power although they are not in positions to leverage it (even Joffrey, who fought so hard to be his own person and make his own decisions, was little more than a pawn, a vessel for Tywin, in the end).

Cersei receives a prophecy pertaining to her three children. By Maggy the Frog, “...you will have three. Gold their crowns, and gold their shrouds.” While the obvious answer is that they’ll have golden crowns because they’re monarchs (and in the books, the Dorne plot to make Myrcella queen) but at the same time, we need to recognize that their hair is also the staple Lannister Gold--“golden crown.” While we understand that the Baratheon heirs are 100% Lannister (much like Drogon is still 100% a dragon), they’re cloaked in the guise of the Baratheon name. Moreover, Joffrey understands Robert to be his true father, and commits atrocities throughout his lifetime hoping that he can win Robert’s approval. We see the Lannister identity, but particularly Cersei’s symbolic identity, cloaked under “Baratheon,” and as I’ve established, the children are Cersei’s link to her power--the throne. 

Prior to hatching her dragons, Dan receives the Mirri Maz Durr prophecy that reveals she is now barren. Like Magy’s prophecy limited the number of children Cersei would bear, now Mirri’s would limit Dan’s. In spite of that, though, she uses blood magic--”only death can pay for life”--to attempt to hatch the dragons (It’s not explicitly stated in the books or show that she actually used blood magic, but it’s the best theory that explains why Dan was fireproof through the pyre scene, so I roll with it). Once the dragons hatch, they are Gold (Viserion, for Viserys), Green (Rhaegal, for Rhaegar), and Black/red (Drogon, for Drogo). Instantly, Dan is more connected to Drogon than the other two. Not only do they connect more quickly and more deeply than she does to the other two, but Drogon is described as growing more quickly and into a far stronger dragon. Before she knew any of this, though, she named him after her deceased first husband. What was meant to be a touching tribute, became the biggest clue to Dan’s source of power and identity, as Drogon is not only named after Khal Drogo, but he presents with the Targaryen house colours—red and black. So her most deeply rooted sense of identity is immediately linked to her fastest growing avenue to power, notoriety, and ambition.  

Fast Forward to The Sons of the High Sparrow

I had an epiphany when I was analyzing the two characters’ arc, and I looked into the two major arcs that culminating in the two queens clashing in Westeros. In season 5, Dan is coping with the repercussions of the sacking of Slaver’s Bay and the Crucifixion of the Masters. Cersei is trying to manage the aftermath of Joffrey’s death, Tyrion’s trial, and Tywin’s murder. As I established in the last passage, the two of them are still using avenues to power, as their authority is under major scrutiny. With Tywin gone, Cersei has completely infiltrated the Small Council and is ruling in everything but title. Tommen is still king, and is married to Margaery this season. Dan is separated from Drogon. While she’s in Mereen, he’s awol eating children and burning shit (the usual). And, once again, because if indirect (yet painfully direct) action, the repercussions of their actions come to haunt them in the form of cultist insurgencies. Cersei takes the opportunity to elevate the High Sparrow in the wake of an embarrassing incident with the High Septon at a brothel. Dan’s impulsivity and reckless brutality in conquering Slaver’s Bay allowed the wounds of her arrogance to fester into the Sons of the Harpy (seriously—if she would have put the former masters to trial instead of crucifying them, she would have rooted out the SotH pretty damn quickly. But noooooooo Miss Injustice-with-”Justice”).  

I’m going to take a second to note that A Feast for Crows (Cersei) and A Dance with Dragons (Daenerys) are parallel books. The narratives of the two are meant to be simultaneously occurring. So, even though seasons 4 and 5 turned out to be a jumble in terms of timeline and sequencing, these two storylines still ran side-by-side.  

So s5e9, “The Dance of Dragons” culminates in Dan being forced out of Mereen by the SotH, rescued by Drogon, and is apprehended by the Dothraki. S5e10, “Mother’s Mercy,” shows Cersei’s High Sparrow arc climaxing with her Walk of Atonement. Parallel events could be seen as Dan’s apprehension at the hands of the Dothraki to Cersei being taken prisoner by the High Sparrow. Cersei’s walk of atonement would parallel Dan’s walk to Vaes Dothrak. Although Cersei is permitted to return to the Red Keep, she’s still awaiting trial. Although Dan is no longer in Mereen, she too is a prisoner awaiting trial. Cersei was stripped of her finery by the hands of the High Sparrow; Dan was stripped of hers by the Dosh Khaleen—both are regarded as the paramount of their religious institution. They’re both in a holding pattern for a time, but both eventually greet their trials with similar approaches. Dan actually attended her trial—though she had far less physical agency at the time. Long story short—they both avoided the consequences of their actions by burning down the religious center and simultaneously murdering EVERYBODY in seats of power. A one-and-done complete political overhaul and power acquisition. This isn’t the pseudo-power that we’ve seen up until now, either. Cersei’s actions lead to her taking the throne at the end of that episode. Following the burning of Vaes Dothrak, Dan is permanently reunited with Drogon—her symbol of power and identity—and she leads the charge of the Great Khalasar to Mereen. By the end of the season, both Dan and Cersei have successfully acquired unbridled power and are on a high-speed bullet train towards confrontation.  

Conclusion

For some people, Dan’s behaviour throughout the conquest of Slaver’s Bay and the Great Grass Sea was enough of a tip towards her tyrannical nature. To everybody, the burning of the Sept of Baelor was Cersei’s branding of “Mad Queen.” But let’s also see her ascension for what it was: a power play in the face of grief. Even though Dan will face similar losses to Cersei throughout the course of s7 and s8, the losses that Cersei endured throughout s4-6 are what paved her way to the throne. Cersei would never have taken the throne from her children. She would have preferred Tommen to rule and remain the silent authority, maneuvering in the shadows. So much like the loss of Dan’s two dragons and Mis, and her mounting paranoia and insecurity following RLJ and the Northern plotline, Cersei’s rise to power is less about going mad and more about ambition in the face of tragedy and loss. Every decision she’s made has been slow, cold, and calculating. Cersei is weighing every decision heavily. This isn’t impulsive and reckless brutality. The paranoia is a common denominator between Aerys, Cersei, and Dan, but it is not the dominating factor. So is “Mad Queen” appropriate for either of them? Considering the parallels that I’ve outlined above, having Dan sack King’s Landing following the death of two of her children and her last remaining friend and advisor (The death of Cersei’s children and Tywin prior to taking the throne) only serves to compare the two even more.

[ahiddenpath]

Seven Years of Writing Fanfics

I’m being a little premature- I’ll celebrate seven years of writing as ahiddenpath in September- but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I’ve learned.  Please read on if you want to hear about the writing habits I wish I had when I started in 2012, and about the habits I wish I didn’t have back then!

I’ll also be talking about my writing plans in general.  Check it out below the cut!

1.)  Make a story bible.

A story bible is a reference document for your story.  Before you post a new fic, I strongly suggest creating one.  For digimon specifically, this means making some choices before you begin:

Which version of the character names will you use?  Do you intend to remain consistent with this choice?  For example, I’ve seen a lot of writers use Japanese character names and English digimon names.  Will you use official honorifics?  Custom honorifics?  Will you use terminology from one translation of the show, or a mashup?

Make these choices upfront, create reference charts, and remain consistent.  

After that, you can also keep references for topics such as characterization details (if you say that Bob’s favorite drink is coffee in one chapter and tea twenty chapters later, be prepared for a flood of comments pointing out the inconsistency), setting details, and anything that you don’t want to forget.  Spending half an hour hunting down a silly detail instead of writing is a huge bummer.

Growing Up with You is my worst offender of ‘problems a story bible would have fixed.’  It’s got... every issue you can imagine, lol!  For example, pairing Hikari with Gatomon (instead of Tailmon), using ‘digitama’ and ‘digimental’ interchangeably in the 02 arc, using the English terms for evolution stages while using Japanese names for other things, confusing Bakemon and Bakumon, it’s a mess.  It’s so bad that a complete, painstaking edit is the only thing that can fix it...  Which is enough to make me weep, given that the story is over 400K words long.

Organize yourself before you start.  Here’s a link to some printable Digimon Adventure and Digimon Adventure 02 references.

2.)  Avoid Longfics.

I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating.  NEVER PUBLISH A NEW STORY WITHOUT HAVING AN ENDING IN SIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

I’m not saying you can’t write huge, epic tales.  God knows I’m unlikely to stop doing that.  But, if I could go back in time, I would separate Growing Up with You into four fics.  It would be something like this:

Growing Up with You I: Childhood

Growing Up with You II:  Digimon Adventure

Growing Up with You III:  Liminal Space

Growing Up with You IV:  Digimon Adventure 02

I’m sure some arcs would be longer than others, but this way, I’d have four stories that are roughly 100K words long.  

A lot of folks just... don’t want to read a 400K story.  It’s intimidating, man!  Although it varies by genre, the average word count for a fiction novel aimed at adults is 80K words.  That 400K fic is like FIVE NOVELS, DUDE!!!!  That’s a commitment for readers!

Shorter stories are more reader friendly, but there’s also a huge benefit to you, the writer.  Separating your longfic into multiple stories allows you more opportunities to write towards an ending.  Breaking your story into digestible chunks decreases the writing paralysis that comes with being nowhere near the ending.  It also cuts back on meandering chapters that don’t carry the narrative closer to that ending.  Furthermore, thinking of the story in arcs before you start writing forces you to plan more...  Something I never did in 2012!!!!

Best of all, once you reach the end of an arc, you can take a break before launching the next one.  It’s hard on a writer to continue endlessly producing without a break.  It’s hard on a reader to hit the final available chapter in a fic and wonder if it will ever update again.  But if you complete an arc and take a break to plan and write a few buffer chapters, the tension and impatience is gone for your audience, and you get to breathe.  It’s a win-win!

3.)  Avoid long chapters.

Back in 2012, I often posted chapters that were 10K words and longer!  Here are some benefits to posting shorter updates more frequently:

-Shorter wait times between updates.

Let’s say your planned chapter is 15K words long.  I could update my story once in the span of a month, or I could break the chapter into three parts and update three times in a month!  This keeps readers happy and interested in your work.

Over time, you’ll develop the ability to create sub arcs/movements, finding spots to break them up into separate updates.  This also creates natural moments for cliffhangers, tension, and mini resolutions.  It’s a great way to insert more moods and movement into your narrative.    

-More exposure for your story.

Every time you update your fanfic, it gets pushed to the top of the update list on fanfiction.net or AO3.  The more you update it, the more hits your story will receive, thanks to all the extra time it will spend on the first page of newly-updated fics.

-Easier editing.

I do my best editing when I’m working with 5K words or fewer at a time.  Personally, I can only focus on close editing for about 90 minutes before I start missing mistakes and forgetting details.  I could edit a 10K word update in two sittings, but then it’s possible to forget about details and moods from the previous editing session!  So, unless your story bible is really hardcore, your editing process could benefit from shorter updates.

-More feedback/support

I have a few amazing readers who leave some form of feedback/appreciation for me whenever I post a new chapter.  A supported writer is a happy, productive writer!  More updates means more chances for feedback and support from your readers, which in turn can fuel and direct your writing!  Again, everyone wins!  (Thanks, guys, I love you!).

4.)  Publish your story on both fanfiction.net and AO3.

Why reach one audience when you could potentially reach two?  There are plenty of readers who only use one platform or the other.

At this point, it would be ridiculously difficult to post my 70+ chapter fanfics to AO3...  Do yourself a favor and post to both from the start!

5.)  Remember: writing and editing are two separate processes.

Guys guys guys guys guys.  Lemme be real here.

I used to painstakingly write a first draft, check for spelling/grammar errors on my word processor, and then post it.

Here’s what my process looks like now: word vomit a first draft, do an edit in my word processor, print the edited draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, print new draft, make edits on paper, transfer edits to word processor, final read through, post

If my new method looks more time intensive...  In a way, it is, but in a way, it isn’t?  I bang out that first rough draft without a care in the world, where I used to agonize over every word.  Agonizing is not fun.  Word vomiting can produce some, ah, discouraging results, but it feels like creative play.  It’s fun, it’s flexible, it’s fast...  And you can fix it later through the magic of editing.  And if you’re having fun, you’ll keep writing.  If you’re agonizing, you’ll find yourself making excuses to avoid writing.

Plus, my current method produces tighter, more deliberate prose, while maintaining the freedom and energy of word vomiting...  And avoiding the angst and doubt.  This is my best defense against writing paralysis and my greatest weapon in the battle of producing words.

My method can’t be right for everyone, but I do encourage you to try it out, especially if your writing hasn’t been joyful lately.

6.)  Don’t run too many fics at one time.

I encourage writers to have one longer fic open and one shorter fic, preferably of different tones/settings/main characters.  This gives you a way to keep writing when you’re sick of one project without bogging you down.

You will likely have some readers who love everything you do (god bless), but many people have particular genre, character, and setting preferences.  If you have three fics open, then readers of any one story have to wait much longer for the next update while you alternate updating each fic.

And more importantly, having a ton of open stories just...  It feels heavy, guys.  It’s a weight, a pressure.  Trust me.  Forgive me, fanfic gods, for I have sinned.

7.)  Maintain a buffer

Okay, so my Nanowrimo project for 2018 was to write 50,000 words for After August, my current open fic.  By the end of the month, I had a roughly 80% complete first draft of the entire fic.  

Guys!  Guys!  It’s so cool to know exactly where the story is going, from start to finish.  My editing is so deliberate on this piece!  I can spot repetition and inconsistencies, since the draft is printed and sitting in front of me in a binder.  I can tweak emphasis and maintain more balance between character appearances.  It’s a whole new ballpark for me, someone who always wrote one update at a time and posted it upon completion (or worse, wrote ahead and lost the material when I changed my mind about the plot before reaching that future point).

Plus, even if my life gets extra busy or hard, I can still maintain my updating schedule.  I can print out a chapter, take it to work, and do hard edits during my lunch break (I realize that makes me antisocial, but have you ever endured coworkers telling you all of their problems while you try to eat a sandwich in peace?  The editing is much more fun.  I am antisocial, is what I’m saying.  Born into it, baby).

Regular updates are a big part of maintaining steady readership, so having a buffer both increases the quality of your work (since you know where the story is going for sure) and ensures that more people read it.  Awww yisssss.

Okay, well, my concentration is gone now, so that’s the end of my advice!  If I think of anything else, maybe I’ll add it?  

I do want to touch base with my writing plans, though.  Currently, of course, my goal is to complete After August.  If I can post one chapter per week, it will be compete in early March, but I’m going to aim for completing the story in May, to allow for any issues that might come up (for example, Kingdom Hearts III is coming out soon!).

After that, I want to complete Seeking Resonance...  Although I have no idea how long that will take?  I just know that the heavy atmosphere was really starting to weigh on me.

After that... Well, do you remember that survey I made a while back?  It looks like my next project should probably be completing Four Years.  

I might simultaneously work on one of these two stories and Tales of REM, or maybe I’ll alternate between SR and FY for a while?  To be honest, though, I would really like to wrap up SR as soon as I can.

Either way, completion is the name of the game this year.  Please look forward to it!  Let me know if you have any ideas for future fics, or if you have a favorite from my list of potential future projects!

[kingofthewilderwest]

Hello! I was wondering if you've seen The Last Jedi and if you have, any opinions on it. Thanks!

I have seen it! Thanks for asking! :) Heads up, in case people missed my first comment on it the day it came out, I don’t have an enthusiastic perspective toward The Last Jedi. I don’t dislike the film, but it also didn’t grip me. It’s “okay”. So for those of you who are looking for an excited buddy to scream with, I am not your person. But if you are looking at having a fun, thoughtful discussion about the pros and the cons of the film, I am happy to do so with you.

In truth, I think one of the things I enjoy most about the new Star Wars trilogy is the discussion coming out of them. I was at a party a few days ago where we all got into such a long, deep, fascinating, and passionate discussion that we had to pass around a key, and whoever held the key could talk, and everyone else had to listen; we all had that many opinions on it, and it was cool to hear. There were many things we agreed with, other things we didn’t, but everyone’s perspective in the conversation was uber cool. I love that. I love to discuss the new SW movies more than watch them!

I can’t go into every thought I have on the movie now, but I’m happy to share some overarching thoughts! Ya’ll are free to ask for more specifics or opinions on certain things with TLJ, of course! 

Note: there are spoilers in the commentary below!

Plot in TLJ

Personally for me I felt as though the plot were strangely scaffolded. Maybe I’ll alter my opinion following a second viewing. But what I felt was that the plot was more cartilaginous than something with good backbone. Rather than having sound structure, with clearly defining points, it had a strange flowing, river-like structure that didn’t altogether convince me.

There were also some unnecessarily long parts to the plot. I’ve seen this mentioned two billion and five hundred sixty three point four times already, but I do agree with it: the casino run with Finn and Rose, while having some charm, was unnecessarily long compared to how it needed to be told. Technically story-wise you could have cut about ninety percent of it and lost little of what needed to be overarchingly told. 

I also think the drama with Holdo was unnecessarily complicated and tangled. Simple communication could have solved three plot twists. While there is totally feasible reason to withhold information, the writers never demonstrated that reason, thus leaving it all contorted.

Another big plot gap is something people have talked about a lot: Snoke dying without us knowing anything about him. Some of my friends have talked about how this can have a deep philosophical meta meaning, how it illuminates that we as viewers expect villains and villains of a certain vein, and get caught off-guard when it doesn’t happen that way, etc. But personally for me I feel as though it’s shaky writing. Viewers shouldn’t come away with so little satisfaction about a character who was meant to be a contending force; if the viewers leave like that, it means the execution - whatever the intent - was unsuccessful.

So the truth is, Snoke died without us knowing ANYTHING about this character. Where did he come from? What were his motivations? What’s his background, his… anything? He’s just this vague villain bad Sith guy that Kylo has killed and that’s it. Is there more to this villain that we can show without getting into the books and extended universe material? They really should have given us more by this point in time in the story. They can rectify it through Episode XI, but at the moment, it’s shaky plot-writing ground. 

Originality of TLJ

One of the big criticisms of TFA (something I constructively criticized myself) was that it rehashed the plot of A New Hope. Lots of people now seem disjointed because TLJ seems so original - or at least, that’s what I’ve heard from many people. TLJ being more original was refreshing for me.

I would say that it is original enough and that is good. Nevertheless, it’s still not as out-in-the-blue as I’ve seen some other companions of mine claim. In both TLJ and Empire, we have: 1). A rebel base being cornered; rebels having to fight; rebels having to flee, 2). A powerful, Force-sensitive young individual seeking out a Jedi recluse for training and assistance, 3). That Force-sensitive individual receiving some training after resistance, but ultimately making choices the Master finds questionable, 4). Characters being chased by ship by their enemies while the good guys’ ship(s) are in poor quality and need repairs, fuel, etc., 5). The characters go to a well-to-do location to find someone to help them in their rebel efforts, but that assistant turns out to be a traitor and turn them in to the Empire/First Order, and…. yeah. There are still lots of parallels to be made between TLJ and Episode V.

Another thing one of my friends pointed out is that many audience members might feel confused because TLJ ends in an analogous point to not The Empire Strikes Back… but Return of the Jedi. For ROTJ is when Luke is tempted to join the Dark Side and Darth Vader kills his master. We see that parallel with Kylo Ren and Snoke and Rey. But if we’ve already had that big plot event from ROTJ in the middle chapter of the new series… what’s next? That could be a reason why many people are thrown off by what was done in Episode VIII.

But personally for me, the ending material in Episode VIII was the best. The three scenes that stand out to me are: 1). The silent moment, 2). Luke being a badass in front of Kylo, and 3). Kylo killing Snoke, Kylo and Rey fighting together, but Kylo stilling holding onto the Dark Side and taking Snoke’s position. Those were all good moments that I quite like.

Oh. And the visuals. I loved the visuals throughout the movie. Very aesthetically well-done film.

Characterization in TLJ

Characters ranged from really well-written to… the writers randomly flapping hands. 

Poe and Kylo Ren were great highlights to me. I found them to be very well-written, founded on good motivations and well-established character. I do feel as though Kylo Ren is one of the more complex characters, who has layers of reasons and emotions, so every decision he makes is well-founded with who he is. And every scene with Poe was one that I appreciated.

Rose was good and what they did with her writing-wise works, and technically you don’t need more background or anything with her… but I would have liked more. I have seen some criticisms on Rose and understand the validity of those; I moreof am saying that Rose as a character is written consistently, with fun personality, and with some fun interest. I liked her on screen. Sniffed out the romance plot a while away and don’t think it was necessary-necessary, but don’t mind it either, because of course that happened, like it does with every other movie out there.

Finn’s characterization was… like the last movie… very rough. Poorly defined. Haphazard. Inconsistent. Wild writer hands flapping willy nilly. John Boyega’s good acting covers that up as well as it can, and makes Finn “feel” like a consistent character. But if you actually look at his choices and motivations across the two films, there is very little pattern, rhyme, or reason to it. Finn is a nice character when you don’t analyze him, though, so I wish that they’d done a better job with his personality and personality arc. That character deserves to be written well.

Now. For Luke. I agree with Mark Hamill on this one. Luke’s characterization was given justification and reasoning, and I get what they were trying to do, but… I don’t think it works. One reason it doesn’t work is that Luke has already learned the lessons he was struggling with in TLJ: he was tested by Yoda for the Dark Side and failed, he saw that someone turned to the Dark could be restored, he saw that giving up would never lend good results, and on and on and on. These aren’t just lessons that he’d need to relearn, but things smashed into the core of Luke’s personality and philosophy and core. And Luke’s struggle is very obviously working against a lot of common sense, which Rey delivers in a few sentences, and then Luke starts being turned to being convinced (there is a slow turn for him, but still). And lots of this goes against most of what we know about Luke’s established character, even when we consider how peoples’ personalities and views change over time. Last.. Luke’s internal conflict felt very unrealistic for his age and maturity. That sort of struggle he was going through I’ve seen lots of people in their mid twenties already have a firm grasp and understanding of. I shouldn’t be out-wising Luke Skywalker. I’m twenty-five.

That said, Mark’s acting was altogether fun and compelling to watch. He delivered very well.

Overarching Opinion

Personally I never felt “caught up” in the excitement of the movie - not that there wasn’t action, but I couldn’t get invested enough to worry or be pulled in. There was never a point where I was grumpy or angry at the movie… just didn’t get dragged into the adventure. It’s one of those movies that I came out of feeling it was “okay” but not astounding. I don’t dislike the movie and I’m not in the wave of complainers or haters or anything. It’s just not something that clicked greatly with me. There were some scenes I quite liked, some elements I quite liked, and lots of things that I’ll always love to debate about. It’s just not the movie that was made-made for me.

[meganmazing]

random recs from the drafts

So I started this compiling this list for Fic Rec Days back in February, which... I never finished. I had a whole plan with themes for the days and everything (a plan I can’t remember for the life of me), but then life happened and no post was made. I honestly forgot all about it until I was scrolling through my drafts. Reading my commentary from a few months ago was a Trip, let me tell you. If you have stuff collecting dust in your drafts, go take another look because it’ll probably be an adventure in trying to figure out where the hell your mind was.

No one asked for this, and I don’t remember why I chose to rec out these specific fics, but I’m posting it, so here you go! Current thoughts are in italics. Click the bold titles for links.

It’s Drarry, Johnlock, Mchanzo, and Reaper76 (r76). All fics are really well-known in their respective fandoms, but if you’re new to any/all it might be helpful!

(As always, please read the tags/warnings before jumping into a fic. I’m not into infidelity, mpreg or dub-con/non-con, so you won’t run the risk of seeing them here, but I still advise caution as a general rule.) 

Drarry (Harry Potter x Draco Malfoy) - HP

Bound to You by agentmoppet

Rating: Explicit  Word Count: 28k

Summary: Hag magic is capricious and unruly, and Harry and Draco are bound to stay by each other’s side until they can solve the riddle. In between long car trips, misty rain, and midnight star charts, they begin to understand each other.

I told myself I wasn’t going to rec a fic from the HD-Erised fest which ended in January. Obviously, I lied to myself. In my comment on AO3, I called the author a word wizard, and I standby that statement. This made me feel warm and happy and I treasure it to pieces. I’m a sucker for humor and angst with a happy ending, guys. To save this list from being entirely HD_Erised, I’m just going to point you to the fest’s tumblr and livejournal.  All of the ones I’ve read from that fest I’ve loved.

(I absolutely remember this fic, and wholeheartedly agree with my past self. A+. If you need more of a fix, seriously go check out the tumblr/lj)

Tea and No Sympathy by who_la_loop

Rating: Explicit   Word Count: 70k

Summary:  It's Potter's fault, of course, that Draco finds himself trapped in the same twenty-four-hour period, repeating itself over and over again. It's been nearly a year since the unpleasant business at Hogwarts, and Draco's getting on with his life quite nicely, thank you, until Harry sodding Potter steps in and ruins it all, just like always.

Look. I don’t remember which was the exact first drarry fic that got me hooked, but this was one of the ones that left me with SO-GOOD-NEED-MORE type of feels. It’s the Draco-centric fic I think of when people start talking about Draco, and draco-centric fics feed my soul.

(Everyone needs a time-turner fic in their lives. Let me reccomend this one for you. And Draco fics still feed my soul, go figure.)

Johnlock (John Watson x Sherlock Holmes) - BBC’s Sherlock

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by: cwb 

Rating: Explicit  Word Count: 32.6k

“Mary's signed us up for a sunset boat tour of the bay. Dolphins. Champagne. Moonbeams, etc.

Jesus Christ. SH

No, he won't be there, just the dolphins.”

Yes. You did read that right. Sniper Dolphins. BUT you have to hear me out, because this has everything I love: texting, UST, fluff galore, angst and emotions, and smut. Plus, I genuinely laughed out loud while reading this. And, best of all, no infidelity! I promise.

(I am a little wigged out becasue I reread this like two days ago, and screamed in the bookmark about how much I love it. Coincidences are weird, man.)

To The Sticking Place by blueink3

Rating: Explicit  Word Count: 122.2k

Renowned Shakespearean actor Sherlock Holmes has finally burned all of his bridges in the theatre industry save for his constant director, Greg Lestrade. John Watson has made a name for himself in the musical theatre circuit, but age and injury are working against him. Can they reinvent themselves for an all-male Macbeth without killing one another?

I was hesitant going into this one, just because I don’t know much at all about theater, but I’d read Macbeth in high school so I gave it a go. Safe to say I was hooked by the first chapter. This fic is also really grounded in real-life theater stuff so it feels very immersive, and the integration of the characters is A++. The johnlock fandom has brilliant writers in general, but I love this author’s style. My heart was aching and soaring by turns, and it’s one of those fics I’d kill to go back and read again for the first time.

(also, if you liked Performance In A Leading Role, the go-to movie stars/acting AU, then I think you’ll really enjoy this one)

(Cosigned. I remembered specific parts like scenes from a movie. With over 100k words, you expect description, but I swear you feel everything in this story. Lovelovelove. PiaLR is also fantastic and worth your time.)

McHanzo (Jesse McCree x Hanzo Shimada) - Overwatch

Hang the Fool by AlmaMeDuele (arcanebarrage on tumblr)

Rating: Mature  Word Count: ~231k (a commitment, but worth it)

I can’t talk about McHanzo without talking about HtF. It’s just not done. If you are new to Overwatch, or have only seen fanart of a grumpy Japanese archer with a dragon tattoo and a smirking cowboy/sharpshooter with a robot arm, and suddenly started to ship it a little? Oops, that may have just been how I got started. This is a fantastic starting point for those new to the fandom, and the writing is literally novel worthy. It is so well constructed, and the characters are beautiful and flawed, and I might have almost teared up once or twice. Plus, a happy ending that is just open enough to leave room for future additions, which the author is actually doing!!

(I haven’t read mchanzo stuff in awhile, but this remains at the top of every list. It is one of my favorite stories of all-time, regardless of fandom. The author should work in published fiction, I’d buy everything. Who cares if you don’t play the game. If you’ve got the time and want something fresh that feels like it’s own universe, read HtF.) 

Reaper76 (Jack Morrison x Gabriel Reyes) - Overwatch

When We Were Young by: JudgeCoffee (this is also their ONLY FIC?? i cri)

Rating: Explicit   Word Count: 84,754 (as of Feb 3, 2017) (102k+ as of June 30)

Summary: When Jack Morrison was 18, he joined the military. Fifteen weeks later, he joined the Soldier Enhancement Program, and that was when he met Gabriel Reyes. That was when everything changed.

This fic is a WIP, which I know is taboo in the rec’ing world, but I had to. The story here is a brilliant imagining of what might have happened in the time before Overwatch was formed. The writing is impeccable and I never find myself bored with an update. This fic hurts. The characterizations, and Gabe in particular, blow me away. I even find myself attached to OC’s, which NEVER happens for me. Plus the smut never feels without purpose, or just for the fun of it, (even though hell yes, sign me up for meaningless smut) while still being entertaining. I have two many emotions about my edge-dads as young, still alive, men.

(This is one of the few long-term fics I have kept up with religiously. There’s only one chapter left, to be posted and I am itching for it. Like HtF, this is on a whole other level of fanfic. Only in the Overwatch fandom have I seen work like this, and it’s amazing. My heart aches, becasue you know how it has to end if you’ve know anything about the game’s lore, but you just want them to be happy and love each other and maybe retire early on Jack’s family farm. Too much to ask??)

I’m sure there are many fics I’ve been obsessed with that I’m forgetting, too! If you check any of these out, don’t forget to leave a kudos or a comment. (Leave it to past-me to make myself emotional about mchanzo and r76 again. Thanks, self.)