#char: sue storm

[excelsiorfics]

A Day at the Park

Date: 06 Feb 2022 Author: kitausuret Rating: Gen Word Count/Status: 1606, complete Dynamic: Franklin Richards & Sue Storm & Reed Richards, Reed Richards/Sue Storm Characters: Reed Richards, Sue Storm, Franklin Richards, Venom Symbiote Tags: Slice of Life, NYC, Alien Cultural Differences

Summary: Trying to learn something more about the alien symbiote dropped off to them by (or, perhaps ripped off of) their longtime ally Spider-Man, Reed decides to take their guest along on a little trip to the park with his wife and their young son. In giving it a little bit of freedom, he's hoping to unravel some of the mysteries surrounding it... and hopefully, understand it a little bit better, too.

[holylulusworld]

Who do you think is a serial lover? Rather be with someone and thinks this is love than being single because it means being alone and it sucks?

Years ago I'd say "Johnny Storm" today I'd say

Hmm... are we talking about CEvans chars only?

Johnny is a womanizer in canon. I don't know if he'd date only to not be alone.

I'd say Colin Shea, maybe. 🤔

Curtis is touch-starved and would date only to not be alone and feel someone touch him.

Lloyd & Ransom would only go for a one-night stand.

Steve, Andy, and Cole want a relationship. Especially Cole...🤣🤣

Ari is busy (in canon) with other things.

Jake is a sweet potato. I think he's looking for more than a warm body. *sue me, I'm a sucker for Jakie*

[nyxnightshade1332]

Expectations When Expecting (Prologue)

Chapter 11

Chapter 12:

Yuu arrived in time to see Ace running away from an increasingly pissed off cat. It would have been comical, had she not experienced first hand exactly how destructive the two were when fighting.

"No way are you gettin' out of this! You think I WANNA wash windows?" Grim spat, his dark gray fur bristling.

Ace rushed past her before promptly shoving some poor student to the side. "Outta my way!" He yelled, attempting to make a beeline for the mirrors.

"Hey! What gives?!" Cried the dark haired boy from the floor. Yuu quickly made her way to him, offering her hand to help him up.

"I'm so so sorry about those two..." She stated, tears of frustration suddenly threatening to pool in her eyes. Dammit. "I don't mean to be a bother, but... Please help us stop him!" She pleaded.

The boy seemed surprised at what she was asking of him, but did not question it much.

"You want me to cast a spell to stop him?" He asked, pausing to think. "Like, freeze his legs? Or bind them with a rope?" He suggested. "...Maybe I could... Hmm... No..." He muttered.

"I don't care how! Just do something! Anything!" Grim hissed urgently.

The boy, thankfully sensing the urgency, cried out. "Anything?! Anything, huh..." His blue eyes widened in realization before he nodded with newfound resolve.

"All right! Here goes anything!" He lifted a pen topped with a shining red stone. It sparkled beautifully in the lights of the hall of mirrors. "I summon thee... something heavy!" He called out, casting at a space directly above Ace.

As quickly as the boy had called it, a large, obsidian pot materialized out of thin air and was sent crashing down on the running body of Ace. The loud CLANG! It made as it landed was enough to snap her out of her daze, enough to hear the pained groans from the victim, and Grim's hysterical cackling.

"Look, Yuu, look! That Ace guy got crushed beneath a giant cauldron! It squashed him flat!" He pointed out, a mocking tone directed at the flattened ginger. "That's what you get!"

Yuu blinked once, then twice, completely silent.

"A cauldron?! I wasn't expecting that. I may have overdone it this time..." She heard the helper boy from beside her murmur.

"Yeah, just a bit." Her voice was squeaky from the shock. She looked over to Ace, who let out another groan of pain before squirming beneath the cauldron.

"What are you bothering me for? You guys coulda just banged out the work yourself!" He groaned, struggling.

The Lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bish- She snapped herself out of the shock, storming up to Ace's form.

"What the hell?! There's no 'banging out' a hundred windows!" She growled, eyes narrowed.

"You have to wash a hundred windows as punishment? What the heck did you do?!" Helper boy yelped from behind her.

"I was just screwing with that furball a little." Ace stated, dragging himself out from beneath the cauldron. "... and the statue of the Queen of Hearts got a teeny bit charred. Sue me."

"You did what?! You damaged a statue of the Great Seven?! No wonder he flew off the handle at you!" The dark haired boy remarked.

"You know damn well that it wasn't just 'a little'.'" She glared. "You also launched me across the damned courtyard!"

Her statement made the student's eyes widen. "Dude, what the heck?! After you managed to get into THIS school, how could you get in trouble on the very first day?!" He yelped, sending Ace a semi-accusatory look.

"Oh, shut up. Who are you, anyway?" Ace grumbled, returning the look with a glare.

The student straightened his posture, taking on more of a military-style pose. "My name is Deuce. Deuce Spade." He announced before relaxing his posture. "Don't you remember your own classmate? Uh..." He seemed to blank on Ace's name.

"You don't remember my name either, do you?" Ace smirked.

"That's not the point! You shouldn't try to shirk an order from the headmage!" Deuce explained, dismissing his previous blunder.

"Yeah, yeah, message received... Fine, let's bang out the windows already." Ace straightened his tie, and cuffs before stopping, noticing something.

Grim sure has been quiet... Oh."Don't tell me..." She grumbled, turning to look at the spot where the little furball was meant to be standing.

"The furball! He's gone!" Ace yelped. There was a loud, familiar cocky laugh that echoed from the halls.

"I'll let you two handle the rest! See ya, suckers!" Yuu felt anger swell in her chest like a hot air balloon.

"Gosh darn it Grim!" She growled. "You are so DEAD once I get my hands on you!"

"You caught me so YOU could run away yourself?!" Ace snarled, snapping his neck to look at Deuce.

"Hey! You there! Uh... Juice?" He hesitated.

"My name isn't 'Juice'. It's Deuce! With a D!" He retorted, glaring at Ace.

"This is partially your responsibility, you know! So help me catch that little furball!"

"How is this my responsibility?!"

The two bickered for a moment, Yuu's eyes welling with tears rapidly. She ignored them, opting to start running before she broke down in front of them. She refused to cry in front of them.

"Ugh! You know what?! I'm going to get his stupid ass!" She yelled, turning on her heel and taking off.

Please, my baby, please be okay. I know things are stressful... but I'll do my best... I'll keep you safe.

She felt the tears of frustration, fear, and grief pour down her cheeks as she ran, her vision quickly blurring. Soon enough, she'd lost vision of the boys and the cat monster. Why is everything collapsing so suddenly?! Her mind wailed, making her heart pound painfully. She ran blindly, unsure of where she'd directed herself.

It didn't take long before Yuu collided with a very strong figure.

"Oh! Est-ce que ça va?" The voice itself was deep and over the top, however it seemed genuine enough to her.

"I'm sorry." She attempted to clear her vision, feeling a careful hand guide her to sit.

"Are you alright?" The voice repeated, heavily accented.

"... Kind of? I don't know." She responded. "First, I end up here. Now, I've lost my stupid runaway cat." She rubbed her eyes, keeping her vision downcast."

"Oh! Non!" She heard the person cry. She saw tan hiking boots stop in front of her before the nice man kneeled. A gloved hand offering her a purple cloth, a handkerchief. "Use this!"

"O-oh. Thank you..." She responded, awkwardly taking the purple handkerchief. She felt bad at the idea of using it, so she clung to it, attempting to ground herself.

Surprisingly, not long after, the man in front of her did something completely strange. He lay down at her feet, facing her.

His face had nearly perfect skin (the kind that Yuu could only dream of having), perfect makeup, curious emerald eyes, and the smoothest looking bob she'd ever seen in her life. She floundered, her eyes wide in surprise.

"Bonjour." He gave her a playful smile, making her yelp and scramble backward. She heard his deep chuckle as he shot back up.

"I am Rook Hunt!" He gave a theatrical bow as soon as he was on his feet. "Enchanté!"

Yuu blinked. "Wow. Um... Nice to meet you too? My name is Yuu." She introduced herself, shaking off the strangeness of the meeting.

"Beauté! Your name is beautiful, monsieur!" She felt herself smile at his cheerful tomfoolery, picking up his handkerchief and placing it into her pocket.

"Hehe. Thank you." She offered him a tentative smile before her memory returned. "Oh shoot!" She cried, shooting to her feet, ignoring the dizzying feeling. "I have to find Grim!"

The young man took her side in an instant, noting her dizziness and helping her steady herself. "J'aiderai. I will help!" He offered. "May I ask what your 'Grim' looks like?"

She paused, considering his help for a moment. "He looks like an ordinary cat with dark gray fur and a white patch. He's got a forked tail and brilliant blue eyes. You'd be able to tell him apart from most because of his fiery ears." She informed Rook urgently.

His emerald eyes met hers and he gave her a nod. "Oui! Let us embark on a quest to find Monsieur Grim!"

Chapter 13

[444names]

Names generated from the entire Wikipedia article on "Fahrenheit 451"

Abects Abled Ablifte Abschely Ackagge Actommes Adearly Afferd Affount Afted Agent Ages Agging Agress Allsoadys Ally Amed Ament Amite Angs Anictions Aprigual Aprosive Ardicad Arns Ased Atents Ation Aumernic Aumpar Awance...

Bacen Backing Bactiver Bareged Bary Basequed Bating Beac Becillons Behes Berworms Betred Bight Billy Bing Bity Bled Blimesh Bling Bommeneit Boodon Boone Bourns Boys Brained Bric Busely Calk Calkings Cappology Cards Carticary Catimbo Caus Cenothock Chan Char Chatch Cher Chings Chisting Chnintays Chounces Chouse Ciduesid Cioned Cledge Clues Cogrouse Comartied Comed Coming Commatch Commit Conal Conar Conars Coned Conis Cons Consib Conspeen Conter Coped Count Couppy Couse Coveand Covel Covestrus Coviettle Cowe Crad Crece Crion Cuens Cuensted Culp Deared Dedist Deeks Denages Deold Deper Deryth Deve Dimpok Dined Disbn Disecon Disick Disid Dists Dith Dive Doet Dowerizes Drably Dram Dranated Drent Driguesep Dring Duch Ducheand Eade Eadelve Eadvers Earanows Emotil Ents Evele Eveleirm Eves Exple Expluens Exquently Facastur Famart Fany Feased Ferninces Fialls Ficaus Fierdow Fiestally Fill Fine Fineat Fing Flaing Flurriew Fluse Ford Foremends Frocks Froy Fult Furvick Gages Gaing Gaterival Gestion Ging Glierd Goded Gonved Grand Grousels Halam Handed Hapre Haproying Hariblay Hassion Hatcheals Haver Hboughorl Heal Helle Hessup Hestommix Heusion Heyed Higge Himpt Hings Hinsonity Hinten Hiperned Hispin Hols Hoolditt Hoolif Horm Hought Hows Hurtion Ideth Ideves Idgan Iduting Ifiver Ight Ilevied Imps Inagents Ingleo Ining Intic Invesseve Invints Ireepian Itty Jonces Jonizess Juleed Jurying Kins Kint Kipples Knorchan Lacals Lactis Layed Lembed Lents Leold Lict Lied Liewillse Lispils Liter Litioun Liverips Lones Lories Loyed Magal Maged Manhappes Manhe Mans Manst Mard Masy Mated Meal Meding Merie Minks Molserd Movel Mrsh Munuse Naged Nalives Nare Narly Nation Neet Noregese Noten Notente Novelinde Nowirdox Obson Offerres Olly Onclartly Onolth Open Oppity Opuble Ordburelf Otere Othock Otors Ought Overe Pack Paged Painall Panking Paps Parts Pherred Pics Pied Planks Plating Poks Posephed Posimbit Prantic Precal Premplues Prends Pres Press Pria Prick Prodalle Proy Pursing Race Raddruce Readay Reade Rearts Rebs Rece Redualogy Refance Refung Rens Rent Rentel Rentest Replate Reschour Revers Rothied Ruallit Ruff Sackarism Saimemy Sanager Sany Sarm Sassix Scal Schoush Scon Scranar Scric Scrish Secit Seled Sent Sera Seribran Sevat Seved Shely Shinned Shoonated Sinceight Sing Siten Solegazi Sornes Sorns Sparenter Speac Spean Spear Specalies Spered Spers Spinat Spre Stations Sted Ster Storm Stors Stran Strion Suclc Sues Sumuss Sups Surpring Suse Swar Swary Swee Taing Teers Temph Tess Thaptions Thassapts Thdat Theary Ther Thringht Thys Ticaray Tion Tock Todes Torunica Traids Tray Trinater Tring Trott Trum Twary Twons Uncultion Unds Unexied Uning Unly Unts Vied Waked Wals Wart Wartho Wayber Wayboon Wayed Waystor Weed Wenion Weyes Whiclects Whignows Whigunds Willared Winced Wing Wirepro Witeech Wormatch Wringe Wrizattes Zedic Zenit

[whitepolaris]

Does This Story Go Up in Flames?

Cases of spontaneous human combustion are rare, but Georgia has one alleged incident-of particular interest because its victim survived to tell the tale.

On November 12, 1974, Jack Angel was sixty-six, in good health, the owner of a successful clothing enterprise, and recently married. He had traveled from College Park to Savannah in a motor home he had transformed into a showroom, but due to an unfortunate encounter with a state trooper, he arrived an hour late for an appointment with a buyer at the Ramada Inn. His client was gone, and the hotel had rented his room. Angel settled onto a couch in the motor home for the night.

That is the last conscious moment Angel had for four days. When he woke around noon on November 16, his right hand "was just burned, blistered," he said, charred black. "And I had this explosion in my chest. It left a hell of a hole. I was burned down here on my legs and between my groin, down on my ankle, and up and down my back. In spots."

Amazingly, Angel felt no pain. He showered, staggered into the hotel, and ordered a Scotch but fainted into the arms of an employee before he could drink it. "I woke up in the hotel," he relayed, to see a doctor "with a pair of tweezers pulling skin off my arm."

After twelve hours, Angel felt "excruciating pain." A doctor explained to him that he wasn't burned externally, but was burned internally! He was transferred to a Veterans Administration hospital with a burn center, where Dr. David Fern found Angel's ulna nerve destroyed and the median nerve questionable. Surgery and antibiotics did not improve the condition of his right hand, which became septic. In January 1975, his arm was amputated below the elbow.

Angel was unsettled by what the doctor had told him about his burn being "internal." He asked his wife to examine the motor home for electrical faults and signs of fire or burning. She found "no evidence of fire in that bus," he said. No burns on the sofa, sheets, his pajama, or clothing displays. Enter a prominent Georgia law firm that offered to sue the motor-home manufacturer on a contingency-fee basis. The law firm would receive no money unless it won the case.

The lawyers considered lightning as a source for the injuries, but weather records revealed no storm. Overhead power lines affecting the vehicle were considered, along with the electrical system of the motor home itself. Both possibilities were dismissed.

The inspectors then considered the plumbing system of the vehicle. The hot-water pump had a slipped drive belt, and they believed that when Angel attempted to take a shower, he got only cold water, went outside, removed the metal cover over the water heater, and opened a safety valve-which would have unleashed a jet of hot pressurized water. According to this theory, he then reentered the vehicle and collapsed.

Angel and the lawyers sued for $3,000,000, claiming that the marker of the motor home neglected to design a safe water heater and pressure valve, and failed to warn owners of the danger. The case continued for two and a half years but was dropped by the lawyers a week before a trial date. "We never could come up with enough to really keep us in court," said one.

"I really don't know what happened to me," Angel said. "The only explanation is that I was a victim of spontaneous human combustion." He admitted that he knew nothing about SHC but asked, "Something has to cause it, doesn't it?"

Jack Angel's plight was championed by Larry E. Arnold, an engineer and paranormal investigator who had studied SHC and wrote an account of the case for FATE magazine in 1982. However, seven years later, FATE published an article questioning that original claim. The authors, Joe Nickell and John F. Fischer, had spent two years, examining thirty cases of SHC and found that all had "mundane explanations." They reviewed Angel's lawsuit filed in the superior court for Fulton County in 1975. A portion reads: "On November 12, 1974, Plaintiff was attempting to take a shower in said motor home which was parked on a motel parking lot in Savannah, Georgia. While Plaintiff was in the process of taking a shower, the water suddenly stopped flowing from the shower plumbing.

"Plaintiff, in attempting to discover the reason for the loss of water pressure, exited said motor home and attempted to inspect the hot water heater. In making said inspection of the hot water heater, the pressure valve on the hot water heater released and as a result, scalding hot water under tremendous pressure was sprayed upon Plaintiff."

Angel's inspectors found the water-heater safety-relief valve in the open position, as did an insurance company working for the manufacturer. Nickell and Fischer also found inconsistencies in teh times of Angel's burning.

That's all well and good. But how do explain the doctor's statement that Angel's body burned form the inside?

[wonhaebunny]

tws // mentions of nightmares and canon-typical stuff regarding kamino. not a very feel good fic. takes place shortly after kamino, before the dorm system was implemented.

-

it starts with a doctor's appointment, surprisingly.

a regular checkup, the irritating kind where the hag drags him off to see their family doctor and asks all kinds of embarrassing shit while the doctor reassures her of her son's perfect health and katsuki fumes in the background.

these types of appointments are routine; they've happened the same way since katsuki can remember, and will continue to for as long as he remains legally a minor. maybe this is why he's so surprised when his mom goes off-script this time.

"katsuki's been very quiet." she says suddenly, interrupting the doctor's rambling about katsuki's physical health. the words are abrupt, like they've been sitting at the tip of her tongue, pushing to be heard. the doctor, a frail old man with kind eyes that sit behind thin-framed spectacles, blinks at her.

"what was that, mrs bakugou?" he asks after a bewildered pause. katsuki very much resonates with his visible confusion, turning to give his mother a glare.

"he's quiet," she says again, ignoring her son's accusatory eyes. "he's been staying in his room all the time, doesn't eat as much anymore. it's concerning."

katsuki's palms start to spark, defensive words already rising in his throat. he doesn't know why this bitch is deciding to make a fucking scene in front of the doctor when he's been fine. he barely even feels different, other than being goddamn tired. and sue him for being tired, when he got kidnapped by a motherfucking villain group not even two weeks ago! he's allowed to sulk.

but his arguments die at his lips when his mother turns her gaze to meet his. her eyes are serious, something genuine and heavy and vulnerable in them that has him faltering.

"shut the fuck up," he manages to bite out sharply, still feeling somewhat blindsided by the unfamiliar array of emotions displayed across her normally unreadable face.

she doesn't shy away from him, lips pursing tightly.

"i don't know what to fucking do, katsuki." her voice shakes.

and this, the utter helplessness threaded through the words, is what has katsuki sinking back down to his seat numbly.

he doesn't understand, not really. he's had less of an appetite since kamino, been unable to sleep or focus or... really do anything but mope, now that he thinks about it. but he'd assumed it would pass with time, along with all the other shit he'd accumulated from the event. he hadn't given it more than a few moments' consideration, fully willing to stew away in his room for the majority of the summer break.

but now his mother is looking at him, her once-impenetrable gaze wavering and lost and he feels like the air has been punched out of his stomach.

"i'm fucking fine."

the words come out too quiet, too unsure.

"you're not acting like it," she replies flatly.

"i hear you crying through the walls at night."

katsuki's cheeks heat up at the words, head dipping low as the doctor's gaze falls onto him, heavy and penetrating.

he hadn't told his mom about the nightmares, or all the other shitty feelings he's had since kamino. he'd assumed he was being subtle about it; evidently not.

"shut the fuck up," he spits again, glaring at her venomously. the gaze of the man on the other side of the table feels like lead, boring into him and rooting him to his seat.

mitsuki doesn't meet his gaze this time, having the decency to look guilty as she stares at the floor. he burns holes into the side of her head anyway, refusing to feel an ounce of sympathy.

"mrs bakugou," the doctor interrupts gently. "would you mind leaving the room for a moment? i'd like to speak with katsuki privately."

katsuki is ready to protest, ready to argue that he has nothing to fucking say to the asshole, but his mother is already standing.

"okay," she says quietly, and the easy admission, if nothing else, is what has katsuki's mouth snapping shut as she slips out of the room.

in her absence, the doctor leans back in his seat.

"how are things with you, katsuki?" he asks gently. the teenager glares intently at the grain of the dark wood table between them, refusing to meet the inevitably pitying gaze of the other.

"fuckin' peachy," he snaps.

"are you experiencing any issues in your life? girl problems? or perhaps... boy problems?"

"fuck no."

"and is school stressing you out much?"

"no."

"if you don't mind my asking, is your home life-"

"everything is fucking. fine."

"okay. okay. and... how about... the events of kamino? how have you been dealing with the aftermath of that?"

katsuki's jaw audibly clicks with the speed at which it slams tightly shut.

after a terse moment, he huffs.

"nothing to fuckin' deal with," he mutters.

the doctor makes a small noise in the back of his throat at this.

"it was a traumatic event, katsuki," he emphasises gently.

"they didn't do shit to me," katsuki snaps. "kidnapped me, kept me locked up for a day or two, then the heroes came. nothing to fuckin' deal with."

there's silence for a long, long moment.

then, slowly, wordlessly, the old man leans over to pluck a pen from his desk. he scribbles something onto a sticky note pad before him, and peels the layer of paper away.

"katsuki," he says quietly, offering the paper to the teenager with soft, sad eyes. "i would like it if you talked to someone. this is a very good friend of mine, and she-"

the sticky note is going up in flames before he can finish his sentence.

"i am not," katsuki spits venomously, raising from his seat as the charred remains of the paper float to the ground, "going to see a fucking shrink. i'm fine."

the doctor doesn't look upset, and the fact makes katsuki even angrier. the blonde watches irately as the man patiently peels another sticky note from the pad, writing down the details neatly and offering the new paper again.

katsuki doesn't reach to take it, fists curling at his sides.

"i'm fucking done here." he says roughly. "keep your bullshit psychoanalysis for the losers who ask for it."

he's just turning to storm out when the man's words stop him in his tracks.

"are you tired, katsuki?"

he doesn't answer, jaw clenching tight.

(tired? he always is, these days.)

"you look it," the man continues guilelessly.

"i've been your personal doctor since you were in elementary school. i don't think i've ever seen you this exhausted."

katsuki doesn't move away from where he stands in the middle of the room, but his hand drops to his side from where it had raised to wrap around the doorknob.

"are you experiencing difficulties sleeping?" the man presses.

(every night.)

"or perhaps a loss of appetite? motivation?"

(god, every damn minute.)

"katsuki," his doctor says, rising from his seat to round the table and face him. he's so small, so delicate in his withered, wrinkly body. the man takes katsuki's hand in his own, and presses the sticky note into his palm.

"please talk to her. i think it's quite clear you need help, and there's no shame about it. all heroes do."

katsuki thinks back to all might's emaciated form at kamino, standing alone with his finger outstretched to the world.

you're next.

his tongue grows heavy in his mouth, and when the man calls mitsuki back in, he lets himself be ushered out of the room smoothly.

mitsuki doesn't ask, even though katsuki sees her eyeing the crumpled sticky note fisted in his hand as she drives them home.

he would appreciate it, in any other moment.

now, he's too preoccupied with staring at the tiny yellow square distantly.

he eats healthy. trains hard. studies daily. sleeps eight hours a day. katsuki has always, in every way possible, done what was necessary to be the best, to stand alone. so why are these scrawled contact details staring up at him right now?

where did he go wrong?

why wasn't it enough?

katsuki is no stranger to feelings of inadequacy; he's grown more familiar with failure than anyone could ever imagine. it's an occupational hazard which accompanies the standards that he holds himself to, he's smart enough to realise that.

but somehow, defeat has never felt heavier than the crumpled paper in katsuki's fist.

[incorrectbeginagain]

Sue Storm: So do you now have a special someone in your life?

Johnny Storm: Yes.

Sue Storm: So when did it start?

Johnny Storm: Well, it started when I woke up and looked at the mirror and thought, “Yes darling, you’re perfect.”

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Joker’s Favor

“She can't open the door and push it in all by herself! THINK!”

Batman the Animated Series. Teaching the dangers of road rage since 1992!

Episode: 22 Robin: No Writer: Paul Dini Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: September 11, 1992 Grade: B

Char’s main reaction to seeing this episode for the first time was, “My girl!!” She loves Harley (and Poison Ivy). For me too, it’s nice to finally introduce Harley Quinn to the DC Animated Universe. Of course, back when this episode initially aired, it was also her introduction to the world of comic books in general. Written to be a one-off henchwoman to the Joker, wow, who would have seen the massive Harley Quinn storm coming. I was working at Party City when Suicide Squad came out, and by far the most popular costume we sold to young girls and women alike was Harley Quinn. People who know nothing about Batman are at least a little familiar with her. Sometimes even more familiar with her than the Dark Knight himself. And good lord, have fun trying to buy a copy of Batman Adventures #12 for a decent price. Even reprints can cost you around 100 bucks. You know how annoying that is for someone who just wants to own a physical copy of the damn thing to read?

I can only assume that Suicide Squad was the major catapult for the hype surrounding the character. I don’t remember seeing her around nearly as much before. Although I’m sure the Arkham series helped a little bit too. And I won’t lie to you, I’m a little salty about it. Oh, believe me, it’s definitely petty “nerd rage”. Or maybe you could call it the “hipster effect”. What annoys us about liking something for so long, and then, much later, finding out that it suddenly blows up with admiration? It’s stupid, this should make us happy, right? But yes, to let the cat out of the bag, I really do love Harley Quinn’s character. At least, the DCAU version of her. I’ve never seen Suicide Squad, I’ve never read any of her comics outside of the DCAU tie-ins, and I’ve never seen any episodes of other Batman cartoons with her in it. Doesn’t particularly interest me (not that I’m directly opposed). But I know that in the DCAU she’s really interesting, she’s a lot of fun, and some of the best moments of the entire series involve her heavily. The Laughing Fish, from what I remember, is up there among my favorite episodes. And how about the flashback in ROTJ? That’s one of the best Batman stories ever told, period. She’s not my favorite villain by any means, but the show would definitely be missing something without her. Speaking of her roles in the DCAU, maybe that’s where that “hipster effect” comes from. Maybe we get salty when people are oblivious toward a character’s…or a band’s…or a show’s…or whatever’s…early days. Yeah, that’s gotta be it, right? When Pokémon Go was new, I saw people complaining because these kids hadn’t played the original Red and Blue versions. And no one would ever really get annoyed if an old album by Blink-182 suddenly spiked in sales. No, it’s only when someone discovers new stuff and isn’t familiar with anything before that. I’m not saying this behavior is rational, and I hate it whenever I feel this way (for the record, I defended those kids just getting into Pokémon through Pokémon Go who were being shit on by “gen-wunners”). But it’s a possible explanation. Maybe we feel that people are missing out or not putting in the effort to fully appreciate/respect a thing and why it is the way it is.

Even though Harley Quinn was an amazing addition to the series, she didn’t exactly start out that way. Ignoring her popularity, she doesn’t particularly stand out in this episode, at least, not to me. But she must have back then. Fans liked her so much, she started appearing in the Batman Adventures comics! But I won’t start complaining about Batman Adventures #12 again. At least, not yet… Of course, where this is the first Harley episode, it figures as such that Paul Dini is the writer. This episode shows us again that he knows how to write a great story to be taken seriously, but also knows how to inject a lot of fun into it. That seems to be what separates Dini from some of the other best writers. A lot of the most serious episodes are really damn serious, with virtually no fun to be had. But Dini throws in some cheeky bits. Harley, for example. Or Batman coming down with a cold in Heart of Ice. It’s certainly welcome, but honestly, I prefer episodes like Two-Face a little bit more. And that’s why I’ve settled on a B for this episode. Yeah, I know. Everyone raises this episode up on a pedestal and says how much of a classic it is. I won’t argue with y’all. It’s an important episode, and it is entertaining. But it’s not as entertaining as a lot of other episodes to me. I like it. I don’t love it. Sue me. Char actually felt the same way, so I’m not alone there. She loved the Joker, as usual, and loved seeing “her gurl” Harley, but as far as the actual episode goes, she only liked it. Strangely enough, I have virtually no complaints. For the most part it’s pretty flawless, unless I really want to nitpick at stupid shit (like when Joker points out Charlie’s hair-loss when he has the same amount of hair as earlier). Probably the only thing that actually made me scratch my head was during the scene where Charlie threatens Joker with one of his own bombs. Why did Charlie know it wouldn’t explode, but the Joker himself didn’t? The only thing I can really think of is that Batman was in on the joke, and rewired the thing. But that doesn’t sit too well with me either. Oh, and also the scenes involving the fight amongst the recreated temple was a little hokey, and didn’t match a lot of the flow. It was too random-seeming, plus the idea that all of these death traps would remain active is ludicrous. We do get the Joker at some of his best, though, and we even hear Batman laugh in-costume (a first for this series). If there’s one thing Batman shouldn’t do often, it’s use the bat-laugh. And the writers knew when to use it well. Just wait till Mad Love. As long as they don’t have Batman sing… I will now turn my head toward my Justice League Unlimited set and stare at it with a dead smile for a few seconds.

And what about the crime prince of clown himself? I think we get the most insight into his mind out of all the Joker episodes so far in this one. The first two Joker appearances were just sorta goofy romps that you would expect, and the next one (Be a Clown) was an episode of lesser entertainment value. Here, we take the best elements of the Be a Clown Joker and fuse it with the Joker we got more from the other episodes to create what I would consider to be the definitive DCAU Joker. Let’s go over it. Y’know those maniacs who chase you down the street just because you made the tiniest mistake while driving (sometimes it might even be more their fault than yours)? Well imagine if when they caught up to you, you saw that they were a psychotic, killing clown. That’s fun… After this happens to Charlie Collins, the Joker threatens to kill him, but ends up sparing him so that over the next two years, he can have a fun time of basically tracking, stalking, and keeping up with this man. I like this because, on one hand, it seems so silly that he’d want to do this simply because of a traffic incident. Like, doesn’t he have better things to do with this time? But also, the Joker knows that every day, Charlie lives in fear that the Joker will find and contact him. It’s the manipulative aspect that we saw in Be a Clown coming out. The Joker takes pleasure in ruining lives. We also have the whacky side of the Joker seen in The Last Laugh with how ridiculous the concept is. Going back to the hair-loss comment mention earlier in passing, I actually think it would have been really clever to start him out with a full head of hair, but then show him super bald later on, showing that the stress of it all had really taken a toll on him, despite his seemingly great life.

Well, then, the Joker has Charlie fly over to Gotham just to open a door for Harley. Yeah. Open a door. I friggin’ love this twist. He’s like an Alice In Wonderland character, having seemingly no rhyme or reason for anything, but you know it all somehow makes sense in his twisted head. We know this because of what he manages to pull off, and how dangerous he is. If he truly knew nothing, he wouldn’t escape Arkham time and time again or get away with nearly as much as he does. And then finally at the end, we have some moments of scary Joker-rage paired with the Joker actually yelling to Batman for help. It’s such a sudden mood change, and you have to question whether or not the Joker’s anger was real. If it is, that makes it scarier. He’s like a meth-addict. We also see the Joker shove Harley Quinn to the side so that he can get to the phone, a very early look at the abusive relationship that we don’t see in full until later down the line. Like I said earlier, Harley was supposed to be a one-off, so this likely wasn’t Dini’s intent to display, but in hindsight, it’s got a much different light casted on it. It shows how much care was put into these stories, making everything match up, even if it wasn’t the initial plan.

This opening shot looked pretty stilted, reminding us that it’s essentially a cell being moved to the right.

Our main character, Charlie Collins. I wanna know what kind of fashion statement that haircut is. The “vertical rat tail”?

That moment of realization. Great job of capturing that immediate regret. It’s like he was brought back to reality, but sent into the Twilight Zone all at the same time.

The Joker knows how scary he is.

This shot was kinda funky with how bright some of the Joker’s features were. 

The Joker appears rather large when in comparison to the character who is supposed to be in front of him. This happens at least one other time in the episode. It adds to his threatening aura here, though.

“Oh please, don’t insult me.” the Joke retorts when Charlie assumes that he’s being robbed of money. 

Been missing these guys! Haven’t seen enough of them!

Jim: “If anyone should be getting a testimonial it’s you!” Batman: “I’m just the nightshift. You deal with this mess 24 hours a day. That’s what those people want to honor.” The most endearing friendship on the show. He even then proceeds to ask Batman where he can rent a tux. 

The Joker playing darts backwards. Throwing them at the commissioner. 

Harley Quinn’s first appearance ever! Bruce Timm did an excellent job with her design. Also, another instance of Joker looking rather large. Apparently perspective isn’t Dong Yang’s strong suit.

And then the Joker proceeds to do a perfect backflip. Damn, he’s limber!

Me too, dude. Also the Joker was throwing darts right above this guy’s head.

Somehow a better license picture than any I’ve ever gotten. Also we have confirmation that, in the DCAU at least, Gotham City is in New York.

“Leave the sideburns.”

An unsettling shot as they circle around Don’s (Charlie’s) block, threatening his family.

“Any way I could sneak out with you?” Me too, dude. Lines like this add so much character that gimmicks or statements about them could never reach.

“Sir, I believe you may be needed inside.”

Bullock hitting on Harley. How does he look like even more of a sleaze when spiffed up for an event?

Montoya’s look of pleasure when Bullock gets whacked in the shin by Harley’s baton. Also, them cheekbones. 

“...okayyy, we’ll tough it out here.”

Joker’s sudden mood-swings combined with his delivery from Mark Hamill are obvious callbacks to the Blue Meanies in Yellow Submarine.

Charlie, about to shove a bomb up Joker’s ass. “Batman! Batmaaaaan!” Actually, y’know what this reminds me of?

This great moment.

Joker, relieved to see Batman. “<gasp> How long have you been there?” We also get, “You’re no fun anymore, Charlie.” If there’s one thing Joker can’t stand, it’s getting upstaged when it comes to the crazy.

A solid episode for sure, but for those of you who only know about Harley from her more recent shenanigans (and you don’t have a genuine interest in watching a Batman cartoon), check out The Laughing Fish instead. And for those of you following along with me for the long haul, join us next time! …Crikey!

Char’s grade: B

Next time: Vendetta Full episode list here!

[written-within-the-stars]

Family means more than sharing the same Bloodline. – Solo by Harper

❝ 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙙𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩… 𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝. ❞

- 𝑀𝒶𝑒 𝒲𝑒𝓈𝓉

The morning was colder than I had felt in the past few weeks. Spring had slowly started to make itself known. The trees were just starting to show signs of new leaves, the ground wasn’t as hard, and I was sure I’d come to find the blossoms of the spring flowers popping their heads out of the ground soon.

I had managed to wake up early enough to take a run before showering and having a cup of coffee. The last few weeks had started to calm a little for me, however I knew what this was. It was the calm before the Spring storm for me, and I loved every moment of it. Sure, it meant little to no sleep most nights, it meant the practice would be full of new babies, it would mean no time for myself. However still, I loved it. It was a joy to see the changing seasons in a place, and I wasn’t sure when it happened. But with the small group of people I had started to call my own in La Push, it finally was starting to feel like I fitted in here.

My phone rang as I was just about to turn on the blow dryer remembering that my hair was still wet. Seeing #Sue’s name flashing up I answered right away. “Hi Sue, is everything okay?”

𝙎𝙪𝙚: ‘Oh, good Harper darling you are awake.’

𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙧: “Yes I’ve been up for a while now. Is—" she cut me off before I could finish my sentence.

𝙎𝙪𝙚: ‘Darling I know this is a lot to ask first thing in the morning, but could you drop by now? I have an…. Well… I really…. Need you and your help.’

𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙧: “Oh, sure. Yes! 100%, I am on my way now. Is everything okay?” My mind started to make a list to the issues which Sue would think of calling me for. “Is it an animal? What kind of animal is it, and can you tell what is hurt?”

𝙎𝙪𝙚: ‘Hmm…. Great! As fast as you can... I will see you soon, hurry my dear.’ The call had been ended.

𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙥𝙚𝙧: “Sue—” She hadn’t sounded like herself, and she didn’t even answer my questions?

I frowned but I fell into action, rushing out of my room, I checked my calendar thankful to find that the day was light today. With the morning clear, no one due in, meant I wouldn’t have to ask #Jessica to move anyone around. But I shot off a quick text to her.

To Jessica: [I have an emergency at Sue’s. I will most likely be in a little late, and I could be bringing an injured animal back with me. Not sure what or how bad things are, just set up the O.R as soon as you are in. HLJ ]

𝙏𝙤 𝙅𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙖: [𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚂𝚞𝚎’𝚜. 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚒𝚗𝚓𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎. 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙾.𝚁 𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗. 𝙷𝙻𝙹 ]

As soon as send was hit, I rushed to my hallway closet for some supplies I kept here at home. With the call outs I’d come to realise that going back and forth to the practice wasn’t the best use of my time in the middle of the night, so I had stocked myself up at home too.

My case full of all I could imagine I may need, at least with the plan to transport the injured animal. I rushed out of the house, throwing my coat on as I ran out the door and into my car. The drive to #Sue’s wasn’t long at all. At this hour of the day there were only a few people on the streets driving.

As I waited at the stop sign, my gaze fell to the side and I saw her coming up from behind in my wingmirror. Her long dark hair blowing in the wind as she weaved past speeding down the road before me. This wasn’t a good sign. If #Sue had called me and called #Leah too what could it have been?

By the time I was parked up, I saw that the door was open and #Leah’s black bike sat before the house. The drive way clear for me to take my beetle in. I climbed out grabbing my case to see Leah stood in the doorway. ‘Come on Nerd, Ma has been waiting for you.’ And then she was gone.

“Leah! Leah wait… What is going on? Where is the animal?” I called after her as I rushed into the house closing the door behind me.

It had been a cold start to the day sure, but now my adrenalin had kicked in. Tunnel vision and a list of checks and tasks I needed to complete right away… and then I froze.

‘𝐻𝒜𝒫𝒫𝒴 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝒯𝐻𝒟𝒜𝒴!!!!’ Voices echoed as I came to the kitchen door.

They were all here... and where smiling and laughing as they saw the expression of pure shock on my face. I dropped my case by my side and jumped out of my skin looking around in shock. #Sue, #Leah, #Jessica #Charlie and #Teddy all stood before me. In their hands #Jessica and #Leah held tablets with #Jenna, #Damian and #Carl on one. And #McKenzi with #Seth shouting on the other.

“How… What… Why..?” I couldn’t find my words, my heart was pounding in my chest and I thought I was going to die from the shock of it all.

The kitchen had balloons and a banner up, pictures from my childhood with my mom and dad, with Jenna and McKenzi. Some with Seth and Damian, and then there were some with my La Push friends.

‘Did you think we would let your first birthday go by in La Push without all of us?’ #Jenna called out and the sound came from the speakers around the kitchen.

“I… I …. There’s no injured animal?” I finally asked still in shock as I saw the food set up on the table. There were waffles, pancaked. Juice, chocolate covered strawberries, bacon… and so much more…

‘Oh, Harper.’ #Sue came to hug me and kiss my forehead. ‘I said I needed you, the rest you worked in yourself.’ She had a smile on her lips as she spoke to me. ‘We made you a birthday breakfast. Alihelisdi Udetiyisgv… Happy Birthday!’

#Jessica was the next to come to hug me. ‘Happy Birthday Harps. I hope you like your bacon crispy, I helped Auntie Sue make it... And don’t worry, we don’t have to rush off to work. The morning is clear.’ I was still speechless trying to process it all. When I saw the calendar clear this morning, I should have known something was untoward.

#Leah set a cake in the middle of the table. ‘Our cousin Emily made the cake for you.’ She didn’t come to hug me, but the wink she gave was enough for me.

It was a sliver, white and blue cake. With snow caps, stars and bunting over a grey wolf , sat smiling in the middle of it. I smiled with seeing it. It was the most beautiful cake I’d even seen.

#Char and #Teddy came over to give me a big hug. ‘Happy Birthday Sweet cheeks.’ #Char lifted me off the ground as he pulled me into his arms.

And out of the side of my eye I could swear that #Leah growled at him for doing it. #Sue was by her side and nudging her towards the far side of the kitchen. That was…. Interesting…. I frowned, but my attention was pulled away from them.

‘Happy Birthday Darling!’ #Teddy pushed his way in after #Char set me down and his arms were around me next.

‘Hug her from me and make it TIGHT!’ #Jenna called out from the screen. And #Teddy was happy to do so.

‘Hey… And ME! and a kiss on the cheek too!!’ #Kenzi added laughing.

‘Okay, okay, let the girl sit. The food is going cold. #Sue mused as she took my arm and sat me down on the chair, still shocked with it all.

‘I told you all, we should have given her a heads up. The woman can’t talk.’ #Leah joked earning a soft smack from #Sue on her shoulder. However, #Leah was correct, I was still speechless.

“I… I…” I could feel a bubble of emotions, “I forgot that it was my birthday today.” I told them honestly.

‘Well, then it’s a good thing your family didn’t forget.’ #Kenzi said, and #Seth leant in to kiss her cheek. His arm was around her shoulder once again. It was something about them. Whenever they were close by, they were always drawn in towards the other. If he wasn’t reaching out to touch her, she was reaching out to him. It always made me smile to witness it.

‘We weren’t going to let today pass without a family meal, and it doesn’t matter where we are, we are always with you Harps.’ #Damian said winking at me from the screen as he held #Carl in his lap, playing with the wolf cuddly toy I had sent him.

‘Like Dam said… We aren’t going to forget even if you do Harps. We all miss you, but we are so proud of all you are doing there too.’ #Seth’s words hit a sweet spot in my heart and I can’t hold back.

Sitting here in shock and so full of emotions, there was a heave in my chest. My nose tingled telling me that the tears were on their way, and then they were here. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. Unsure when #Sue had come to stand behind me. She engulfed me in a hug and kissed my temple. ‘You have us. Always.’

My hands moved and I placed them on hers over the top of my chest, leaning into her as she placed her cheek to mine. I took the room and the tablets facing me in. I wasn’t sure how I had been so lucky. When my mom was alive, she used to make birthday breakfasts for dad and me, and then after she was gone. Dad and I continued the tradition. And if I was true, I most likely made myself forget, because this was to be my first birthday without my dad.

And here I sat… I was an orphan who still had a 𝐹𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎.

“Tha…. Thank You All…” I wasn’t sure what a girl like me had done to deserve such amazing people in her life.

‘Family means more than sharing the same Bloodline Harper Lee, it’s something our Spirits teach us. And something you will come to find, if you haven’t already.’ #Leah said softly in my ear from where she sat beside me on the table.

“I believe you, more so now that I am here.” I whispered taking the napkin she offered me and wiped away the tears.

#Jess squeezed my hand from the other side, her bubbly smile was contagious as always.

‘Alihelisdi Udetiyisgv…’ They said.

‘It means Happy Birthday…’ #Jessica whispered.

[princepercyschreave]

Random Fic

ooc: I figured I should do something since I apparently made Princess Lillian’s birthday today (or yesterday now haha) 😂 and I just made up random dates but whatever. Also, this one’s for the Charcy shippers 😉

mentions @charlotte-bane​ obviously, and @princeevanschreave​ (but idk if i even need to mention that since it’s me)

Mom’s birthday party is held in one of the main ballrooms, but it’s a pretty sad affair. She said she didn’t want any of the Selected to be there, since they “had nothing to do with her.” But that meant we had to keep the whole party a secret from all the girls in the Selection. Which is hard, because they’re kind of all over the palace right now.

So the main ballroom, which is meant to hold a thousand or more people, was filled with the five of us in my immediate family, Dom, Alina, Aunt Eleanora, Uncle Jameson, and Mom’s family who we don’t really see as often. Mom’s only sister, Aunt Jenna, never had any kids, but she and her husband came to the party along with my grandparents, who, again, we almost never see. All together, we were a small bunch of about 20 people, nowhere near as many as should fit in this ballroom.

I do have to admit it’s decorated pretty nicely, though. There are fake, ancient-looking pillars all around the room, and the waitstaff are all wearing togas--which is actually pretty entertaining to watch. The decorators tried to go with an Ancient Greece theme, since Mom and Dad are both so obsessed with that time period--if my name and the names of my siblings haven’t clued you into that, then I’m not sure what else you need.

I stand in the corner of the room, trying my hardest not to make eye contact so I can slip out as soon as possible. It’s not that I don’t want to support my mom, I just don’t think we need this elegant of a party for such a small group. And we’ve been here all day already. It started with breakfast, which was the same as always with all the Selected, then all the royals slipped away into the ballroom as soon as the Selected started to head back to their rooms or the Women’s Room. I just barely managed to catch up with Aricia before she disappeared so I could tell her to meet up with me some time soon. Then I made my way into the ballroom. We gave our presents and sang Happy Birthday, and then it was time for lunch. We had this huge, completely unnecessary, meal for just the small group of us, and we didn’t even come close to finishing all that food. A waste, if you ask me. Now everyone’s been sitting at the dining table they set up, just talking and catching up for the last hour. I see no reason for me to be here. I have better things I could be doing.

I notice that no one has looked my way in a while, and I figure this is as good a time as any to leave. So I quickly back out of the room and shut the door quietly behind me. I only manage to take a few steps before I hear someone exit the ballroom behind me.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Evan’s deep voice asks.

I turn around slowly. “Just... getting some air, of course.”

Evan sighs. “Come on, Percy. It’s Mom’s birthday. At least show a little respect.”

“I did show my respect. I don’t know why we have to “show our respects” all day! There aren’t enough of us to carry that much conversation. It’s boring.”

“Oh, and you have such better plans to go to? What are you going to do? Go flirt with every single girl in the Selection some more? Honestly, show a little class.”

“Oh, like you’re so much better! I saw you leaving the palace with Kat the other night!” I yell.

Evan’s face flushes. “That’s different. I’m not trying to pursue her or anything. We were just surfing.”

“Well, maybe I’m not “pursuing” any of them, either! Maybe we were just talking!” I can’t believe he’s bringing this up like he’s so much better than me. He’s not better than me just because he’s so boring and follows rules that haven’t even been set yet. So I like to have fun? Sue me.

“I’m pretty sure no one believes that,” Evan responds, crossing his arms over his chest.

Whatever. I’m so done with this. “Fine. I’m leaving. Bye.” I don’t wait for his response as I turn and storm down the hall back toward my room.

As I’m walking back to my room, I just turn and punch the wall. I’m so sick and tired of Evan bossing me around about everything. He’s not better than me, we’re just different. Why can’t he see that I’m doing just fine on my own?

I’m too wound up to just go back to my room, but I can’t go back to Mom’s party now. Everyone would know I’d left and I’d have to come up with some kind of excuse. I start walking and let my feet take me where they will.

I stop in front of a door. I know whose door this is, but I’m hesitant to knock. I really want to knock, but I’m worried about her response. But when have I ever let nerves stop me from doing something? I knock on the door.

“Just a sec!” She calls from inside her room, and I smile at the sound of her voice. I hear her feet as she runs over to the door and opens it. Her face, that had been smiling for those few breaths before she recognizes, falls into a frown. “Oh,” she says.

“What? You’re not happy to see me?” I ask, putting a hand on my chest sarcastically. “I’m so hurt.”

“Just surprised is all,” she says. She leans her head out of her door and looks around. “Why are you here, exactly?”

I hesitate. “I just... wanted to see you, is that a problem?”

“Um, n-no it’s not. You wanted to see me?” She asks like she can’t even believe it’s a possibility. If she only knew.

I smile at her confusion. “Yeah, I did. I just... haven’t had the best day and needed to see a pretty face.” I take a little look into her room. “Can I come in?” I ask hesitantly.

I fully expect her to refuse, but she has an odd look on her face and says “Sure.” She motions for me to come inside and I do. She closes the door as I sit down in one of the chairs. “What happened?” She asks.

I sigh. “Evan’s just been stressing me out all day,” I begin. I tell her all my grievances and complaints about Evan and everything he does to try to show that he’s better than me. I can’t believe how patient and caring she is as she sits and listens to me rant. Finally, I realize that I really didn’t want to come to Charlotte’s room just to talk about Evan.

“Whatever. Let’s not talk about this sad stuff anymore. Let’s talk about something fun,” I finally say, changing the subject.

“Are you sure?” Char asks me, looking like she’s trying to make sure I’m really okay.

I smile. “Absolutely.”

She smiles back at me, and it lights up the room. “Alright, what counts as fun?”

“How about the awesome date I’m working on for you?” I smirk.

“Awesome date? Yeah, okay, Percy.” She laughs.

“Oh, it’ll blow any other date you ever go on way out of the water. Which reminds me, do you want the spectacular date before or after your boring date with Dom?”

“Oh gosh, the options. How will I ever choose? How about never; I’d like to not be killed, thanks.”

“Well, the date will be to ‘die for,’” I smile at my own joke.

“Do I get any hints?” She asks.

I think about it. “Well, we won’t be leaving the palace grounds like Evan and his stupid secret date.”

Char rolls her eyes. “You’re unbelievable.”

“What?”

“Whilst failing to give me a helpful hint, you also managed to insult your brother in the process.”

I laugh. “I’m great at multitasking,” I say as I wink.

She laughs back. “Clearly. What else are you good at?”

“I think the better question is what aren’t I good at?”

“Being humble, to answer your question.”

I smirk at her cleverness. “Touché.”

“Well, it is what I do best.”

“What? Being gorgeous and amazing at the same time? Seems we’re both good multitaskers.” I wink at her again.

She looks like she’s barely containing a laugh. “You, my dear, are a senseless flirt. Is this what you say to all the ladies here?”

I pause like I’m thinking about it. “Mmm, not all of them. You’re pretty special, angel.”

Char’s face seems to sober up a little. “You know close to nothing about me, Perseus.”

I lean closer to her so she sees I’m being serious. “I know enough, and I’d like to know more if you’ll give me a chance.”

“Here’s your chance. Ask me anything. And I’ll ask you something in return.”

“Why don’t you seem to want to give me a real chance?” I ask.

“Um... I don’t know. Why do you want one?”

I try to find the words to best make her understand. “I don’t know. You just... intrigue me. I mean... ok, well you may have heard me say that I plan to travel the globe in a year or two and just... see everything. Enjoy myself. You seem like the type of person who would enjoy that as much as me and I’d... like someone like that to come with me. And maybe as... more than just a friend.”

Charlotte hesitates, like she’s not sure how to respond at first. “You’ve mentioned before that Dom gave consent to this--taking to the Selection. Does that still stand?”

I feel a burst of hope rise in my chest, and I fight to keep it down so I don’t get hurt. “As far as I know,” I manage to get out.

“Okay. Then... where? Where in the world?”

I smile, though I’m still not sure she’s fully accepted the offer yet. “Everywhere, I guess. There have been a few places, especially around Europe, that I’ve been before and I’d like to go back, but I’ve never been to New Asia, so I’d like to go there. And Africa, too. And I don’t know where else, I just want to see it all and have fun doing it.”

Charlotte smiles. “I like that idea. I haven’t done a lot, really anything at all in life.”

I feel like standing up and dancing around the room, but I know she’ll look at me crazy and probably change her mind if I do. “You seem like you need a bit of an adventure.”

“I’d agree to that. What kind of adventure, though?”

“Whatever kind you want, angel.” I just still can’t believe she’s agreeing to go with me.

Char laughs, and I’m starting to love the sound of it. “Oh, the possibilities! You really like adventure, don’t you?”

“Absolutely,” I say breathlessly. “So... about that date...”

“Yes... that date.”

I take a breath. “Is it... I mean... are you okay with it?” I know she agreed to go traveling with me, but that could still be as friends. It doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to... date me.

Char purses her lips. “Why not?”

I’m happy she’s agreeing, but I wish she were more excited about it. “So... before or after your ‘date’ with Dom?”

“Umm... before? That sounds reasonable.”

“Alright, I’ll start finishing up the arrangements then. I guess I’d better go... unless you’ll allow me to stay?” I give a hopeful smile, but I hope I’m not pushing things too far.

“Stay in what way, dear lord.”

“Just that it’s getting late, and it’s SUCH a far walk back to my room...” I grin, so she knows I’m joking.

“Exercise is healthy, dear,” she smiles back.

“So you are kicking me out?”

“Do you need an escort?”

“Hmm, you know I think I might.”

“Should I call a guard?”

I sigh. I knew she wasn’t actually going to walk with me. “No. I’ll... see you later, Charlotte?”

“Sure... later. Unless you would like me to walk with you?”

“Only if you want to. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Sweet sentiment, but I’d love to escort you. I wouldn’t want you getting hurt.”

I grin jokingly. “It’s good to know you care.”

“I’m sure. Shall we?”

She extends her hand, just for me to hold, I’m sure, but I lift it to my lips and place a chaste kiss before lowering our joined hands to our sides.

“Let’s go,” I say, smiling at the blush forming on her cheeks.

Her eyes widen, but she only says, “Alright then, let’s.”

I smile as we walk back to my room. I guess this wasn’t such a bad day, after all.

[science-criticaltheory]

'It's all explosive': Michael Wolff on Donald Trump by Edward Helmore

Speaking to the Guardian, author who shook the White House faces down critical fire and presidential fury and says: ‘I got to a truth no one else has gotten’ 

A dinner of clams and Arctic char at Michael Wolff’s Greenwich Village home set the stage for a book that – in the author’s own estimation – has become “an international political event”.

Among the guests were former chairman of Fox News Roger Ailes, expelled from the Murdoch empire over claims of sexual harassment and about to retire to Palm Beach, and Steve Bannon, the would-be inheritor of Ailes’ rightwing political media crown who barely six weeks earlier had orchestrated Donald Trump’s improbable election victory.

“It was six months since Roger had been thrown out of Fox so it wasn’t about having a powerful person here, just the opposite,” Wolff told the Guardian from a low-slung chair by the fireplace in his study. Bannon’s invite came next. “I asked him on the spur of the moment: ‘Roger is coming for dinner. Do you want to come?’”

As the storm generated by Wolff’s Fire and Fury has swept over Trump, Bannon and the White House, Wolff has wondered if Ailes vouched for him that night in January 2017, perhaps over the baba au rhum dessert, even as the torch of populist Republicanism was passed from one man to the other.

“I’ve often thought this is a possible thing that happened,” Wolff said.

Either way, it is the creation story of a book that demolished any illusions about Donald Trump’s improbable White House.

The book’s immediate effects have been well-described elsewhere. Among them, the immolation of Bannon’s relationship with Trump and his Breitbart paymasters, and Trump’s bizarre efforts to demonstrate mental competence that, as reported by Wolff, his aides and inner circle routinely and openly called into question.

“Almost all of the stuff that has been focused on seems kind of random to me,” Wolff said. ���It’s all explosive because that’s the thing about Donald Trump. He’s so anomalous, so not what he’s supposed to be, that everything he does is at some level preposterous.”

Is the president incapable of carrying out his duties?

“I don’t know if the president is clinically off his rocker. I do know, from what I saw and what I heard from people around him, that Donald Trump is deeply unpredictable, irrational, at times bordering on incoherent, self-obsessed in a disconcerting way, and displays all those kinds of traits that anyone would reasonably say, ‘What’s going on here, is something wrong?’”

This week, Trump called a bipartisan, on-camera discussion on immigration and border security. “This was clearly to establish himself as sane in reaction to the book,” Wolff said. The meeting was strange for several reasons, including Trump’s eagerness to agree with everybody there.

“It fits another premise of the book,” Wolff said. “He doesn’t care. He just wants somebody else to do his work. He wants a win and the nature of the win doesn’t really matter.

“I’ve talked to a number of Donald Trump friends and cronies. He ran on the idea of ‘I’m a negotiator’ but they all say he’s never negotiated anything. Negotiation requires detailed understanding. It’s methodical. He can’t do it.”

The contrived display didn’t last. Trump was soon back to business-as-usual, referring to Haiti, El Salvador and most of Africa as “shithole countries”, setting off a new round of widespread denunciation.

‘This guy is a complete fool’

On the eve of publication, Wolff and his publishers were facing a legal effort by Trump to block publication. It only inspired them to rush the book forward, after the Guardian first reported its contents.

“It’s another example of him being out of control,” Wolff says. “I know that everybody was trying to stop him from doing this. He couldn’t be stopped. His head had exploded, so he did what no president has ever done: attempt to sue someone for defamation and invasion of privacy.

“There are two sides. I was sort of appalled by an attack on the constitutional bulwark on what we do as journalists and how we live as Americans. The other side, is this guy is a complete fool. All he managed to do was call more attention to my book. He just shoots himself in the foot at every opportunity.”

For Wolff, the only change to his life so far has been to keep his wooden shutters closed, to block the sight lines of occasional paparazzi. When he has left his house, he has found himself propositioned for selfies with strangers.

Despite Trump’s denials, Fire and Fury was authorized, albeit in the chaotic Trump modus operandi. After writing relatively positive profiles of Trump and Bannon for the Hollywood Reporter, Wolff joined the parade of job-seekers and ring-kissers at Trump Tower in the weeks after the astonishing election result.

“I said to the president, ‘I’d love to come down and be an observer at the White House.’ That’s when he thought I was asking for a job. I said, ‘No, no. I might want to write a book.’ His face fell. He was completely uninterested. So I pressed a little. I’d really like to do it. So it was, ‘Yah, yah. OK sure.’”

Thus began a Washington adventure for a classic and controversial New York media scribe. Visitor logs record Wolff visiting the White House more than 20 times in the first eight months of the new administration.

“I went in with the inclination to seem like a journalist with purpose but you lose that when literally everyone is ignoring you,” Wolff said. “You really become part of the furniture, this guy who is so pathetic, people really make an effort to entertain you.

“Then they’d say, ‘Who are you waiting for?’ Often that would be Bannon, who’d never ever keep an appointment. So they go, ‘Uh uh yeah, wanna come back?’ Suddenly you’d find yourself in the chief-of-staff’s office.”

Fire and Fury has come under sustained criticism, in particular from the Washington press corps. Last week CNN anchor Jake Tapper told chat show host Seth Meyers it was a book that “abandoned all standards”. He also said there was “poetic justice” that it would define the Trump presidency.

Criticism has largely focused on mispellings and relatively minor fact-checking problems. “The truth is every book has these kinds of mistakes but not every book rises to the level of an international political event,” Wolff said.

Such attacks may mask a larger issue: Wolff has eaten the critics’ lunch, as wolves are prone to do. It seems it has taken the step-back view of an author to show clearly the defining characteristics of the Trump White House.

“They’re stuck in the weeds,” he said of the US press. “I’m clearly not stuck in the weeds. I have obviously managed to convey this story in a way that people get, that moves them and they understand.”

The problem for the Washington press, as for everyone, is that the entirely abnormal Trump presidency has been effectively normalized.

“In the beginning,” Wolff said, “it was, ‘Don’t normalize them.’ But that is effectively what they’ve done. There is an explosive story every day which makes you forget about what happened the day before.

“So suddenly this book comes along, provides a context and everybody – literally everybody – goes, ‘Oh my God, now we understand this.’ The Washington press has left everybody fearful, befuddled, desensitized and suddenly, from their response to this book, people are able to say, ‘Yes I understand this...’

“I got to a truth that no one else had gotten to, not that they didn’t know it. Everyone around Trump thinks he’s a charlatan, a fool, an idiot and someone ultimately not capable of functioning in this job. Pretty much nobody has said that although the Washington reporters are talking to the same people I spoke to and getting the same stories.”

‘This is not a book about my impressions’

Wolff has been accused of obfuscating over how much time he spent with the president. The White House maintains he was never granted an Oval Office interview. Wolff does not claim to have had one.

“Let me say clearly,” he said, “I had approximately three hours of conversation with Donald Trump between June 2016 and now. Some of that took place during the campaign, during the transition and in the White House.”

On page 92 of Fire and Fury, Wolff writes: “On 6 February, Trump made one of his seething, self-pitying and unsolicited calls without any presumption of confidentiality to a passing New York media acquaintance”. The call lasted 26 minutes, Wolff writes, as the president attacked various media bigwigs, disputed reports of Bannon’s influence over him, and said he was not the “kind of guy” to wear a bathrobe.

The call, one can surmise, was to Wolff himself.

“Let me not say to whom the call was made,” he said. Instead, he insisted he never wanted there to be any use of first person in his book, a technique that goes back to the “new journalism” of the 1960s.

Wolff says he is uninterested in politics. What fascinates him is people and power, and the unprecedented scenario that emerged from Trump’s win.

“This has happened, it shouldn’t have happened, no logic would have indicated it would happen. But it’s there so how do you deal with it? This is not a book about my impressions, it’s a book about the impressions of people around him. It was important to me not to make my relationship or my impressions of the president the focus.”

Bannon, Wolff wrote, said Donald Trump Jr ‘s meeting with Russians in Trump Tower in June 2016 was “treasonous” and predicted he would be “cracked like an egg on national TV” – the words that led to his excommunication.

Bannon, Wolff surmises, was already headed for the exit. But how could he be so reckless as to disrespect the boss’s son? Was he drinking? “No. He was not drunk. I’ve never seen him drunk, though I’ve seen him refuse drinks many times...

“My theory is he thought [the far-right Alabama Senate candidate] Roy Moore was going to win. That would make Bannon kingmaker and Trump the loser. Bannon would have gone into 2018 as the guy with all the leverage. Bannon had come to the conclusion that Trump, in addition to being an idiot, was an impediment to his true populist agenda.”

How does Wolff feel about Bannon now? “I feel a little guilty that I put him in a position he did not intend to be in. But he’s a big boy, and he was well aware of the risks he took when he spoke to me.”

Wolff, who would not say if he had heard from Bannon since his downfall, said he had been “left wondering if he’s the ultimate strategic mind or just a guy who can’t stop himself from talking”.

Wolff will soon set off on a European tour. He appears composed but there have been sleepless nights, including the one after the Guardian obtained a copy of Fire and Fury and Trump duly erupted.

He discounted the idea of another celebrity presidency, saying he did not see Oprah Winfrey running, and said: “I think this will stand as a cautionary tale.”

He also conceded that those could be famous last words.

“Look, forget everything else. This is a fantastic story and these are phenomenal characters. Trump is an amazing character. Bannon is, for me, a gift from the gods. And on top of everything else, [Anthony] Scaramucci! Jared Kushner! It’s too good to believe.

“This experiment happened. Let’s make someone president who is different and in every way the exact opposite of everything we think a president is and should be. That was the experiment.

“The positive here is people have realized the experiment has been a failure – even a great number of people who voted for him.”

[teddyaltman]

Do the odds 🐢

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i have cereal dry bc milk is gross but i do like cereal as a snack3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mostly plane tickets or train tickets

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yes altho i used to be worse7: do you name your plants? i only have one plant and no it has no name but now i feel bad, what should i name my plant???? 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Y E S always its a running joke at work that i’m always singing to myself 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? my mind has gone blank idk 13: what's something that made you smile today? texting15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! “you are taller in space” - this is fuckin me up cos princess leia is sO TINY imagine how small she would be on earth im emotional17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i actually rly like my hair the colour it is at the moment but i’d prob go darker to try it rather than super blonde again idk19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? no im not organised enough for a journal but i do doodle in my work diary when i finish a to do list21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. i love my backpack that i haggled for in venice it’s blue and white and super comfy and i love it23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? netflix (and cuddling~)25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i broke into my friends house once by crawling through the kitchen window bc she forgot her house key27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum flavor? idk?29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? dan always squeezes my hand rly tight when he’s happy and i love it when he’s happy31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i rly like socks, especially when they’re fun socks i hate just black or just white socks!! i like to wear them to bed too otherwise the monsters might get my feet but if its super hot i might not. i don’t always wear socks in the day but i’ll mostly put them on for bed

33: what's your fave pastry? uh idk but i had an amazing vegan donut in dublin it was delicious 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i like pens but just like basic bic pens i like to have lots and lots but uh i like looking at stationary in paperchase but i rarely use it37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like it clean but it is often messy because i am Terrible39: what color do you wear the most? burgundy! 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? i read an anthology (the last one) from the otherworld series when i was in aus and honestly it was great i loved it so much that series means so much to me and it ended so many characters stories in a beautiful way43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? i have no idea tbh45: do you trust your instincts a lot? close my eyes and leap? uh yeah i try to trust my gut!47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? pineapple49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i don’t rly buy physical cds anymore and i don’t have my own record player so~ i bought ed sheeran’s new songs last night on itunes??51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? marygrace - mr brightside53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, yes, no, yes - i love rocky horror and i wanna see it live, heathers is Great, and pulp fiction is p good!55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? lmao i am a dramatic person idk i’ve probably done a lot of dumb shit57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i cba but i could sing it from memory and yes of course59: what's your favorite myth? uhh idk i don’t rly have a fav??? i do like mythology tho esp greek stuff and i read some p cool fantasy books based on myths and metahumans61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? lmao i don’t even know omg my sister got me condoms once??63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? okay so my DVDs are all alphabetical except disney classics which have their own section, and boxsets are also separate, my books are in cubes and they’re sorted by age, also author and in series when applicable. also there’s a star wars section. i can’t wait to have my own place so i can get proper bookshelves tho tbh65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? my cousin adam! he lives in greece and i didn’t manage to go visit him over christmas when he was home which was sad 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? a lil gloomy but then i’ll take buddy for a walk and we’ll bounce along together and he always makes me feel better69: what are your favorite board games? trivial pursuit, bezzerwizzer, pointless, articulate, taboo, pictionary, citadels, life ... i love board games71: what's your favorite kind of tea? anything fruity73: what are some of your worst habits? biting my nails, speaking too loud, chewing ice75: tell us about your pets! MY BABIES okay i have two dogs; meg is a black lab and she’s an ol lady now but she’ll always be my angel girl and she got me thru some dark times in high school tbh, okay then my boy - Buddy Boo Rainbow Maurice is his official name (blame my sister) but my lil buddy he’s my saviour honestly, so he’s a beagle cross but we dunno what with and he’s HUGE like a beagle on steroids but with his lil beagle face and floppy ears like goddamn cutest ever tbh he’s such a bundle of joy i love him So muhc. then i have 3 chickens (we used to have 5 RIP) and they’re called Dragon, Jemima and Sue Ellen (yes, she’s mine, yes named after a Dallas char) they’re p chill i read to them sometimes last summer we read the book thief and hp philosophers stone77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? dan’s mum invited me to spend christmas with them when she found out my family were going away and she made me a special christmas eve present like i was just ~another kid in the family and i went again this year and honestly it’s just the sweetest thing i love them all so much and they’re all so welcoming and wonderful and i don’t deserve such goodness in my life (also shoutout to delani who drove all the way to may and kate’s to surprise me for new years!!!)81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. like the sea when a storm is brewing, but with a hint of steel underneath and the sun is still just visible on the horizon83: what's some of your favorite album art? tswizzle speak now, ed sheeran + ??? idk i use spotify on my phone mostly i don’t look at album art hahah85: do you read comics? what are your faves? sometimes, i like anything about girls tbh87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? The Holiday, Star Wars, The Parent Trap, Rear Window, 17 Again, It’s a Wonderful Life89: are you close to your parents? yes they’re my heroes91: where do you plan on traveling this year? canada! hopefully disneyworld too, and i;d like to see more european cities; lisbon, krakow, berlin!!93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i either shove my hair in a bun, braid it or wear it down 95: what are your plans for this weekend? hang out with my friends!97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ, scorpio, gryffindor99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. little miss, ours, truth in your eyes, follow your arrow, sugar we’re going down, a thousand miles, she is the sunlight, cotton eye joe