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goldenmagnolias · 7 months ago

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Am I screaming? YES YES I AM

yesssss 👏

Spirit Meets the Bones - XVI

Genre: Angst/Romance Warnings: Mentions of physical abuse.

shoutout to my bby @abruisedmuse for staying on this journey with me!

Find it all here.

Before panic closed his throat and he could dive into an irrational mental breakdown, Iris returned with a bowl and a small cloth in her hands, and visceral relief washed over him. Eris watched her make her way toward their couch and sit. She looked at him and then calmly gestured to the seat next to her. “Come sit. I want to see your hands.”

Eris’s blink was the only show of surprise he would allow himself to give but slowly, he made his way over to her. He carefully sat next to her, allowing enough space between them in case she needed it. In case — in case he had indeed frightened her.

Iris paused at the space and her brows furrowed. “Are you uncomfortable if I come closer?” she asked quietly, a flush on her face and Eris felt his chest tighten.

“I’m giving you space — from me.”

He watched her expression soften and with a small shake of her head, she moved closer to him and held out her hands. Eris let his eyes roam her face before his gaze dipped to her open palms. She was so steady. So steady and calm. No panic to be found. His wife, a healer through and through.

His eyes flickered back to her face, her bruises still evident and he felt a part of him die at the sight.

“You’re the one who is hurt,” he said roughly. “He — he left bruises on you.”

Iris paused and Eris had to swallow as a rage like no other consumed once more. He had half a mind to find her father again and just rip his head clean off his body. He wanted to kill him again and again and maybe even —

“Eris.”

He blinked and Iris came back into view. She surprised him once more when she gave him a tight smile.

“I’m okay.” she said softly. “It’s already healing. This isn’t even the worst he’s done.”

“Not the worst?” he snarled and Eris’s hands fisted in his lap, the cuts and scrapes stinging in protest but he still said through clenched teeth, “He shouldn’t have been in here. He shouldn’t have laid a hand on you. I gave you my word —”

“My father is the only one responsible for what happened here. Do not blame yourself.” she said firmly, mirroring a statement of his own.

But how could he not blame himself? He was supposed to have protected her. He was supposed to —

“Can I see your hands, please?” she said and held out her hands once more.

Eris’s eyes flickered down to them, steady and open for him but he met her eyes again. “Are you sure?”

Iris only paused for a moment then quietly said, “Of course.”

Slowly, he slid his bruised and bloodied fists into her hands and his heart began thumping wildly as she ran her thumb across them, turning them over to assess. Iris rested them in her lap then turned to the bowl, wetting the towel and wringing it out before bringing it back toward him.

“It might sting a little.” she said softly.

“Believe it or not, I can handle a little sting.” he said quietly, and the corner of Iris’s mouth lifted as she shifted closer. Eris almost did as well but his face immediately fell at the slight wince that crossed her face.

“I’m fine.” she said quickly but he pulled his hands away.

“Clearly.” he said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to call for Nevien. She can heal you and I can heal fine on my own.”

“No!” Iris said and Eris froze at her tone. At the wide eyes and the bob of her throat. “I — I don’t want anyone to know. It’s healing as we speak so just — let me heal you.”

His eyes narrowed, assessing, and Eris tilted his head just so, hearing the frantic beating of her heart. Sensing the embarrassment radiating off her. He felt himself reluctantly soften.

“There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about, Iris.” he said quietly, and his chest tightened again at the tremble in her lip.

Her eyes fell to her lap and she took a breath before looking up at him again. “Can I please just heal your hands?” she whispered. “Please?”

And it was the pleading look in her eyes that had Eris run his tongue over his teeth and give in, slowly resting his fists in her lap once more. He watched her silently, slowly inhaling and exhaling to calm himself, to calm the rage still sweeping through him so that Iris didn’t back away from him. Only when she had started dabbing at his cuts and running her fingers gently across them to heal, did she finally speak.

“You beat him to near death.” she commented.

“If you had let me, I would’ve killed him.”

Iris stopped and looked up at him. She watched him silently for a moment then her eyes fell back to his hands. “For me.” she stated.

“For you.” he confirmed, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt no hesitation in answering. None. And he straightened as that thought sobered him up completely.

He let it fall silent between them once more, observing her as she curled a strand of loose hair behind her ear then continued with his hands. Eris watched her face as he flexed a fist in her lap and Iris winced slightly, freezing for a moment. His face fell.

Trying to hide the slight desperation in his tone, he asked, “A question for a question.”

It made his heart clench when the corner of her mouth went up in a sad smile. “A question for a question.”

“Did I frighten you?”

She blinked at him in surprise. “No.”

“You flinched back when I flexed my hand.”

Iris’s lips went into a thin line but she fell silent. Eris watched her swallow, holding as still as possible, hearing how rapidly her heart beat. He wanted — gods, he wanted to soothe her. He wasn’t exactly sure how but cauldron, he wanted to bring her some peace. He wanted to pull her closer and — and — Eris licked his lips, his eyes darting all over the tight expression on her face and grimacing.

He had only held her in his arms for the first time last night. He didn’t realize wanting to hug someone would be so hard.

So he waited and did the only thing that felt most natural between them, he took her hand in his and gently ran his thumb against the back of it.

“He — he slammed me against the table so my lower back is a little sore. When I shifted just now, I felt the aftermath of that.” she explained calmly, her hands now resting beneath his. She carefully met his gaze.

And Eris waited again as she watched him. She swallowed then her face fell, her bottom lip trembling violently and Eris’s expression mirrored hers.

“Iris —”

“I talk a big game.” she said faintly. “But in the end when it comes to my father...I am nothing.”

Eris’s grip tightened on her hands. “Don’t you dare call yourself that. He is nothing. He is nothing but a piece of shit —”

But Iris squeezed his hands again and the sniffle that followed silenced Eris. “I am weak.” she whispered and her hands shook in his. “When it comes to him, I always am. I am glad you came but I still wish — I wish you hadn’t seen it.”

“Iris — no.” he breathed, and this time Eris did pull her closer, his fingers gently skimming her cheek and curling a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You and I — we — we’re two sides of the same coin, remember? I want to see. I want to know. You don’t have to hide anything from me.”

“I’m — I’m not used to anyone seeing it when he acts like that.” she continued and looked anywhere but at him. “I don’t like this feeling.”

“Iris.” he said gently and pulled her chin towards him. It killed him to see the silver lining her eyes, to see that lip still trembling, to hear another sniffle. He still didn’t know how to soothe. He still wasn’t sure how to ease. All his life ever consisted of was chaos and yet — with her, everything seemed to calm. He met her gaze firmly, even as his own hand trembled lightly on her chin.

The words spilled out of him easily, as if they’d always been there, sitting on the tip of his tongue. “It’s just you and me. We are in this together and I want it all.”

Her eyes bore into his and she gently, slowly, took his hand in hers, bringing it to her cheek even as she sniffled. “You promise that?” she whispered, and Eris felt the breath nearly choke out of him at the sight of his hand on her face, at the feel of her skin still healing beneath his touch, that she had deliberately put it there herself.

“I promise.” he swore hoarsely, his thumb caressing reverently. “I know I broke my word today but I —”

“I know why you weren’t there. I knew he had something to do with it.” she said gently and shook her head. “I don’t blame you at all.”

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled and the familiar feeling of self-loathing began to fester in his chest. “I should’ve been — I was supposed to —”

Iris shook her head once more and took a breath. She tilted her head back, resting both of his hands in her lap once more, and blinked rapidly before sniffling then meeting his eyes again.

“This is why I am the way I am.” she mumbled. “The only thing I know how to do is fight, even when I am at my weakest. Even when I won’t win. He’s stifled me my whole life. Whether it’s through his words or his fists, all he ever did was bring me down. All I’ve known is this anger.” she bit her lip and quickly wiped angrily at a stray tear that fell. “For a while, I listened, let him do whatever he wanted without saying a word. I followed all his rules, all his requests...but then I realized whether I fought against him or not, his punishment was the same. He relished it.”

Her mouth twisted in disgust. “I was the enemy from the moment I took my first breath and it got worse and worse as I aged. He acts that way because he can. Because he has all the power to do so.” she said. She looked at Eris, then looked down at their hands in her lap, where he had started rubbing soothingly again. “With you...I expected a similar situation...but you could hurt me differently. You could hurt me a lot. In fact, I’m sure he counted on it.” she said with a hollow laugh. “But instead...you’re the first person to ever defend me. To actually listen to me and give me a chance. To ever show that you — you care.”

Eris watched her and pain wrapped itself around his wretched heart as she spoke because oh gods, did he care.

“Of course, I care.” he said tightly and then swallowed. “I — I know I’m not the most graceful with my words and I’m an ass most of the time but — Iris. You’re my wife. You’re — you’re my friend. Of course, I care.”

Iris met his eyes and then looked down at their hands once more. She took a breath and then met his gaze once more. “Well…that’s a relief, I suppose. Because I — I care about you too.” she said more shyly than she’d ever been with him. “And I want you to know that I am not afraid of your hands. You are my friend. You are my husband. I am not afraid of you.”

Eris closed his eyes and took a shuddering breath at her words then looked down at their hands, now intertwined.

“Those words…” he began then blew out a breath. “They mean more than you know.”

The corner of her mouth lifted for a moment. “What you did today means more than you know.”

“One word.” he vowed. “Just one — and I will gladly wipe him from existence.”

She gave him a sad smile. “I’ll hold you to that promise.”

Eris’s eyes roamed her face, wanting to say more — wanting to do more. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted so desperately, it hurt. But her bruises were still fresh and she still winced when she moved and Eris would be damned if he caused her any more discomfort.

What she clearly needed was some rest, some time to collect herself, and maybe some food. She didn’t need him pawing at her like one of his hounds. He was barely keeping it together as is.

“Why don’t you freshen up and get some rest?” he suggested, letting his thumb run across her hand one more time. “I will let Lucien and Elain know not to expect us today. We’ll go another time.”

“No!” Iris said, straightening with a wince. “I still want to go.”

Eris arched a brow and gave her a pointed look. “Are you sure? I want you to feel your best when we go.”

Though she flushed, she firmly squeezed his hands and gave him a pleading look. “I won’t let him ruin anything else for me. I’ve been looking forward to this and we still have time before we have to leave. I want to go.”

He realized again, as she gazed at him, that he would likely never refuse a request from her. Never put her in a position where she had to plead with him.

And oh, did Eris Vanserra realize how incredibly fucked he was when he sucked in a breath and then simply said, “Then we will go.”

Iris nodded as her shoulders sagged in relief then bit the corner of her lip, glancing at him and then down at their hands. “Before we go...do you think we can see the hounds for a moment?” she asked quietly. “They make me feel better.”

Eris gave her a small smile then squeezed her hands as she looked back at him. “Of course,” he said. “They make me feel better too.”

Iris shared a small smile with him and Eris watched her swallow, surprising him by leaning in closer. Eris froze and held his breath as she met his gaze then looked away, delighting him by placing a delicate kiss on his cheek. He hardly blinked, watching her slowly stand, her cheeks burning.

“Thank you.” she said softly. “I hope that was alright.”

It took him a minute to process the feeling of her lips on his skin. To hold himself back from pouncing on her to demand he feel those lips again elsewhere. “Very.” he said roughly. “It is always alright with you.”

Iris’s gaze dropped to her feet and the air between them seemed to shift. Despite the circumstances, despite what happened, it buzzed pleasantly.

“I’m — I’m going to go change.” she said, and again Eris noted that shyness in her tone again. A side of her he was definitely not used to.

“I’ll be right here.” he confirmed and with a small lift of her lips, she turned, heading towards their bathroom. She paused once, right in front of the same spot with the flecked blood and Eris watched her swallow hard before she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind her.

He let out a breath, sagging against the couch, and closed his eyes momentarily.

Eris realized with alarming clarity, the depth of his feelings for her. He had felt this pull towards her gradually from the moment she threw that chair at him their first night together. But this constant desire to see her happy, to be the one to make her happy, to protect, to care for. He had certainly never felt like this before.

He ran shaky fingers through his hair, pulling at a lock to stare at it. He had woken up this morning instantly wanting to cut his hair — just because she had suggested it — because she liked the idea of him with shorter hair. The thought had made his body lock up in bed, knowing he would. He realized he would do just about anything for her.

And that — that terrified him. Because Eris wasn’t foolish. He had guessed at this emotion — this attachment, but it was with no confirmation and so he buried it deep enough to ignore it. Yet...he kept sinking around her.

Eris glanced at the bathroom door, listening to the sound of running water.

She was his wife. His friend. His partner. And today only solidified that he wouldn’t let a single thing harm her again. He’d kill it. Consequences be damned.

When Iris had finally emerged from the bathroom, freshened, and in a new dress, Eris was immaculate once more and already had the room cleaned and organized, with a tray of light snacks waiting on the table for her.

She paused at the threshold of their bathroom door and tried not to stare at him for too long, wondering how she would clamp down on the intensity of what she was feeling at the moment. He had nearly killed her father. Because of her. For her. He had not hesitated a single moment and Iris was nearly overwhelmed by the surge of emotion that hit her as she watched him shift the tray slightly, his back still to her.

When Iris had stepped into the bathroom and finally allowed the tears she’d been holding back to fall, Eris’s lingering touch had been the one to keep her from crumbling completely. She cried silently as she stripped the day dress she had been wearing and the tears continued to fall as she looked in the bathroom mirror to see the bruises. She let the tears continue as she washed away the ghost of her father’s hands and the sound of his hateful words, just as she had done every other time this happened over the years.

She let herself process and only when she could take a deep breath without tearing up, did she let herself heal her bruises, watching in the mirror as she began to slowly fix herself, as easily as the deep breath she took. It was thanks to Eris that she could master it enough to do it so easily. It was thanks to him that her father hadn’t done worse this time. It was thanks to him her father would hopefully never do it again.

The image of Eris’s wrath being unleashed on the person she hated most had filled her with a sense of vindication like no other. She hadn’t feared him for a moment. Only could watch as he raged for her.

Until he threw her father out. Until it hit her that Eris had seen what others had never seen on her.

Iris watched him now, fidgeting still with the tray and she looked down as her face flushed, biting her lip. Her eyes flicked to the now clean floor where the blood of her father had been spilled and she took a deep breath. She was fine. It would be okay.

She did not want his pity and he would not be the one to pity her.

So Iris sat with him at the table as he silently moved the tray towards her, watching her take a small bite. She had no appetite but with the intense way he watched her, she knew Eris wouldn’t budge until he was sure she ate something. So she indulged him.

Just as she had finally indulged in giving him a chaste kiss.

He continued to watch her as she finished, swatting her hand away with a scowl when she attempted to clean up, and shooed her away silently as he took over. She felt his eyes on her as she put the finishing touches on her dress, as she styled her hair, and much to Iris’s amusement, Eris continued to watch her intensely as they left the room and made their way to the hounds, his grip on her tightening whenever they passed others.

But she said nothing and he said nothing, only holding her closer against him, their hands interlaced the whole way.

A far cry from where the two had started.

Her heart beat wildly at how much she liked the way he watched her. His eyes didn’t watch her with pity or disdain. His gaze was a claiming, a look filled with emotions as mixed as her own.

And Iris knew without saying a word, Eris felt the whirlwind of feelings she was experiencing.

As they slipped into the kennel, Iris squeezed his hand gently and Eris reluctantly let her go, clasping his hands behind his back so she wouldn’t see his twiddling fingers. As the minutes passed and Eris watched Iris coo and cuddle with their hounds, he felt exceedingly pathetic as he physically restrained himself from touching her. Whatever cool, calm, and annoying demeanor he usually had vanished completely.

“Are you going to keep watching me like that?” Iris asked him quietly, a small smile on her face as she sat between the hounds, petting as they nuzzled into her enthusiastically. “I’m alright, you know.”

Eris gave her a half-smile. “I can’t help it that I find you incredibly breathtaking, wife.” he said with a shrug as Lyra came to nudge his side. His hand slid to scratch behind her ear. “Do you not want me to look at you?”

Iris bit her lip then slowly stood, turning towards Eris and he straightened at her solemn expression.

“You’re looking at me because you’re worried.” she said quietly and when he opened his mouth to respond, Iris held up a hand and then moved closer to him. “What happened between my father and I is something that I have had to, unfortunately, deal with for years but...I have learned to handle it as best as I can. To do what I can for myself and keep moving forward, even as he’s tried to paralyze him by his mere presence.” Iris closed her eyes for a moment as she took a deep breath then exhaled softly, her expression easing as she looked at him. “I don’t want to give him any more power to dwell in my mind or to ruin anything else for me so please, don’t keep looking at me like I’m going to break. I think you, of all people, would understand this…I don’t want to think about him or anything that has to do with him anymore.”

Eris scanned her face and her stance as she spoke, her words mirroring so much of his own thoughts about his wretched father. He understood more than she’d realized.

He held out his hands and Iris raised a brow before slowly sliding her hands into his. “I want to make sure you’re alright. That is all.” he said quietly, and Iris gave him a small smile.

“Is it?” she asked. “You once told me not to pity you when it comes to your father and I told you that I expect the same from you.”

Eris’s mouth twisted into a frown. “I do not pity you. There is absolutely nothing to be pitied when it comes to you.” he muttered, and Iris squeezed his hands. “I look at you because I care about you and want to make sure you’re fine. I am a bastard in many ways but not when it comes to my duties. And it is my duty to pay attention to you.”

Her expression softened and Eris was thankful she looked away from him so she wouldn’t see his hard swallow at his own words. When she looked at him again, he squeezed her hands.

“You’re alright?” he asked.

“I am alright.” she confirmed softly and the corner of his mouth lifted.

“Then please note that at this moment, I am looking at you because I am simmering with carnal desire.” he teased gently. “No other reason whatsoever.”

“Ah, so your true intentions have emerged,” she said with a soft chuckle. “Please husband, you’ll scandalize the puppies.”

“Not puppies.” he replied, his lips twitching.

Eris simply watched her with a small smile that Iris shyly returned and once again, said nothing more. Last night in each other’s arms had certainly shifted things between them but he wasn’t sure if he could handle any more of the feelings he was failing miserably to push down.

His wretched heart leaped into his throat when she stepped back, then interlaced their fingers again, the gesture so comfortable and normal, it made Eris’s throat tighten. His heart continued to thump wildly as they said goodbye to his hounds and made their way to the winnowing point, his mind whirling a thousand thoughts a minute.

“Do you have Lucien’s letter from your mother?” she asked quietly. “And our house gift?”

“I have the letter and sent the gift ahead.”

“Did you write a nice note?” she asked him and Eris couldn’t stop staring at her face, scrunched in all seriousness. “I didn’t get a chance to.”

“Yes.” he answered, distracted momentarily by how she bit her lip and then cleared his throat. “I said it was from you to Elain specifically and that Lucien can choke on a dick.”

Iris stopped in her tracks, narrowing her eyes. “You did not.”

Eris smirked as his eyes locked on her face and gave her a nonchalant shrug. “You’ll see for yourself when we get there.”

Iris shot him a glare and the look was one he was so used to, he couldn’t help but tilt his head back with a laugh. He pulled her closer into his side as he grinned down at her but Iris only squinted at him.

“You’re so annoying.”

“I know.”

“Sometimes I really can’t stand you.”

“I know that too.”

Iris rolled her eyes then gently knocked her shoulder against him and Eris’s mouth tilted up, all the feelings in his chest unfurling. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He also really felt like vomiting.

“If you know you’re being annoying and that I can’t really stand you, why do you behave the way that you do?” she asked, pursing her lips and Eris chuckled at her failed attempt to hide a smile.

“Don’t pretend you aren’t obsessed with how magnificent I am, wife. I can see the lust in your eyes.” he said quietly, his free hand threading a loose curl between his fingers and then tugging on it gently. “Will you be able to control yourself while we winnow or will I need to get myself a shield for additional protection?”

“You’re the one who looks like you’re going to faint every time I touch you.” she mumbled and scrunched her nose, avoiding his gaze when he chuckled again.

“It must be the witchcraft in your touch.” he replied and held out his hand.

Iris’s lips twitched as she met his gaze, sliding her hand into his and said, “Maybe one day I’ll put a spell on that mouth of yours to get some peace and quiet.”

“And go a moment without hearing my voice? Why do you insist on making things so difficult for yourself?” Eris tsked with a raised brow and Iris rolled her eyes.

“Too cocky for your own good, prince.”

“Confident just the right amount I’d say, my lady.”

Iris shook her head with a small smile, but she didn’t look away from him and Eris couldn’t look away from her if he tried. He thought back to their first night together and how he had craved something normal then. How unexpected it had come. How delightful it was. A simple joy he had not experienced...in so long. A joy he wasn’t sure he rightly deserved but would latch on to with everything he had.

“Ready to see the Day Court?” he finally asked and Iris smiled at him.

“Oh yes.” she began and Eris stilled as she faced him, her free hand smoothing a nonexistent crease on his shirt. “But before we go, I need to give you something.”

Eris arched a brow and tried not to be too distracted by how much of her body was touching his. How right she felt, holding his hand and looking up at him with such an open look in her eyes. Her bruises had faded completely but only because he was looking for them, did he still see the shadows of them and tried to hold back his anger from flaring up.

He focused on her eyes instead.

“Yes, wife?” he murmured, and Iris squeezed his hand before slipping it free, sliding both hands down the fabric of her plum-colored dress instead. Eris’s eyes followed her hands and he took in the cinched waist of the dress, tied with a pretty bow in the middle — the delicate sleeves, the modest cut of her cleavage that gave him a small tease. He couldn’t stop himself from sliding a hand to gently tug on the bow, looking up just in time to see Iris’s flushed face giving him a knowing look.

“Focus.”

“I am very focused.”

“On what I would like to say, please.” she said with amusement. “You can tug on the bow all you like, it’s not going to budge.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” He said with a smirk but obediently let his hands fall back to his side.

Iris only rolled her eyes. “I look presentable, then?”

The corner of his mouth lifted as Eris looked up to meet her gaze. “You look beautiful.” he said simply.

Iris flushed and bit her lip, looking down to where his hands rested at his sides then slowly, carefully, she moved them to settle on her hips instead. Iris’s hands slowly moved to settle on his chest and Eris felt his heart short circuit. “Before I give you this something I want to give, I would like to tell you something.” she whispered with a little smile.

“Tell me what?” he asked helplessly and he couldn’t take his eyes off her stunning face, off those beautiful hooded hazel eyes that seemed to look into his very soul.

“I wanted to tell you again...thank you.” she said and the little shy smile blessed her face once more. “For defending me.”

Eris swallowed, his eyes drinking in the sight of her stunning face. He could only murmur, “Nothing to thank for. I only did as a husband should.”

“And for being my friend.” she added softly, the smile still there as his heart thumped too loudly.

“I’m — I’m happy to be your friend, Iris.” he said with a small smile of his own, his hands tightening on her waist.

“I am happy to be yours too, Eris.” she replied with a small chuckle and if possible, moved into him closer. “Even though you are very obnoxious, and I was very prepared to hate you for as long as possible.”

Eris let out a choked laugh, tightening his hold on her. “Can’t blame you, my reputation precedes me.”

“I do recall you saying it was catered to a specific audience,” she said, spreading her fingers across this chest. “I don’t think I’m part of that category anymore.”

“You never were.” he said with a chuckle. “You did just say you like being my friend.”

Iris’s gaze dropped to her hands then flickered back to meet his. “I do.” she said quietly. “But I think — I think I’m ready to be a little more than that with you.”

Eris felt the air leave his body, barely blinked — barely had a moment to hear what she said as the only warning he received was the mischievous glint in her eyes before her hands curled into the front of his tunic and she yanked him down to her, her lips finally, finally meeting his.

He felt the world tilt, wondering if he had stumbled into a daydream until Iris leaned into him more firmly, pressing her body into him, and the soft noise that slipped from her lips had Eris’s body unlocking immediately.

And gods, if she wasn’t the most divine creature he had the pleasure of kissing. Kissing her ignited every ember of fire in his heart, his heart that was dangerously close to bursting out of his damn chest. Eris let her lead for a moment, let her nip at his lips as her fingers tightened into his tunic and he let her pull away for a second — just to breathe — so he could look into her eyes and her flushed face — ensuring that indeed, this wasn’t some kind of strange hallucination.

And then Eris was on her.

Her full lips were soft, welcoming to his own and Eris groaned at the taste of her. He leaned into her desperately, a hand cupping the back of her head while the other rested on her lower back as he dipped her slightly, pouring himself into the kiss and Iris returned it with a fervor he would be delighted to think about later.

He kissed her and she kissed him, the heated claiming saying all the words they wished to say but couldn’t just yet. A kiss that seemed to soothe all the jagged ends of his soul. A kiss where their jaded spirits met their tired bones.

And it was as he pulled her closer into him, drunk on the taste of her lips did he feel the thread between them, thumping in his bloodstream. The same thread he had seen before, that he now understood had woven around his wretched heart. The thread that pulled.

It hummed the one word he had been waiting for — Mate.

#eris vanserra #eris vanserra x oc #fic: spirit meets the bones #chapter XVI

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kianaflame23 · 2 years ago

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Final Fantasy XVI Clive Rosfield x OC plus Aquafina, Fediel from Granblue Fantasy and canon ff16 characters (friend's OC by @tea-r-re-z ) ☆

*Warning* Not suitable for anyone! It will contain child sexual exploitation so please ignore this chapter if you feel uncomfortable by this. I'm sorry!! characters death, graphic with gore. It will be bloody so I'm just letting you know the warming before reading this.

ONLY 18+ CAN READ THIS FANFIC SERIES! NO MINORS! I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU DON'T SHOW YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO!

Tagging: @theempressofdarkmagic @aria-lesage @virtuousluna @momowasdreaming @blueflame97 @seiyaido @ishgard

Chapter 1 : Pain and Suffering

She's the same age as Clive, but only difference that she's actually from the present time but somehow she's in the past, she got some of her memories from her present time but she doesn't fully understand them. Also, her current appearance is very different from her present time but she doesn't know it yet. She even knows her true first name but decided to keep it to herself. Maybe she'll tell Clive, Joshua, Jill and Aquafina about it but afraid that she'll be left alone and wouldn't talk to her anymore...

Hating herself as she lied to them. (Don't forget about this part btw! I'll be writing the angst fic about that. )

She's actually very quiet and shy when she first met Clive and Aqua. Trying her best to be a good servant, helping and obeying Rosfield's family orders. She was 8 years old when she met Clive and Aqua. Despite her quietness and shyness, she's still the sweetest girl who would do anything to help and be there for anyone. She loves to pet the small cute Torgal and always feel happy seeing him as she turned 15 years old. Kiana is so grateful that Clive doesn't mind being with her as they got more closer. Spending good time with him and Torgal. Kiana tends to get scared easily when someone gets mad at her. Kiana does have a good student and mentor relationship. She doesn't mind if Aqua sees her as her little sister. Aqua's beautiful long, silver hair stunned Kiana in a good way and wants to be like her when she's older. Kiana liking and wishing to have her mentor's appearance. She's too shy to say anything to her though.

Kiana felt nostalgic as her family looks just like her present time. She doesn't know why though. Believing that everything she is seeing is fake and must be an illusion to her. Her parents is good terms with Rosfield family. Kiana thought everything will go fine, right? Oh how wrong she was.....

She immediately remembers her mom's father, which is her grandfather... and already starts to panic so much... her memories from her present time came crashing to her. Knowing that she needs to be away from him no matter what.... she has to go somewhere safe. Maybe Clive or Aqua can be there for her. But she can't tell them yet. It hasn't happened to her yet.... she knows how disgusting and dangerous her grandfather is so she avoids him every time. However, her grandfather would find a way to follow her and it was pure bad luck that she wasn't able to protect her from that horrible old man... Not strong enough to push him away nor hurt him... Allowing him to do anything to her body.... Praying to Eikons for her grandfather to stop and forget about her. Sadly, he kept going and going until she was 12 years old... Kiana felt like she didn't deserve to be alive, blaming herself for everything. Not brave of not saying to her family and friends.... She can't even tell Clive, Joshua, Jill, and her mentor, Aquafina. There's times that she wants to tell everyone about her and her thoughts but still refuse to say anything once again... Kiana would interact with everyone even though she lost her cheeriness and prefer to stay in her room, blaming herself again and again...

After Aqua left the castle, she's 15 years old and already in love with Clive but decided to keep her feelings to herself. After all, Clive and Joshua's father spoke to her coldly, forcing her to not interact him anymore and never think of marrying Clive. Nodding shakily as she obeys his command. Him smirking at her as he has nothing to say more, Lord Rosfield walks away from her.

She wants to be happy with Clive, thinking about how their life will be if they are together.... Aqua and Joshua supporting them and not judging at them. Kiana loves both Aqua and Joshua as her family too. She rushed to her family and hoping to see them as soon she is there... why must Kiana suffer a cruel fate? Seems that someone, a tall hooded-man who's wearing a demon mask, lurking in the shadows, enjoying the pain of Kiana and waiting for the right time to begin their chaos on her... to begin the eternal suffering and pain on poor Kiana....

As soon as she arrived at her home, the pain and suffering began.... Kiana witnessing all of her family, rope tightly all around their bodies as their knees are down in the ground. Not saying a word as Lord Rosfield talks to them with anger and disgusted tone.

"HOW DARE YOUR DAUGHTER MADE MY SON FALL IN LOVE WITH HER?! HE SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON HIS EDUCATION AND HIS SWORD PRACTICES!"

Kiana's father was about to explain but Lord Rosfield wasn't having it at all.

"SILENCE! I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU WITH THIS AGREEMENT! YOU JUST PROVE ME WRONG!"

Before he can say anything more, Kiana rushed to her family and shielding them as she is in front of them. Both of her arms spreading away from her as if she can protect them....

"Please, Lord Rosfield! It's my fault! Don't hurt them! I'll listen to you! I-I will stay away from Clive from now o-on...."

"Perfect timing, Kiana. Then, prove me now. Say that you don't love Clive and that you don't want to see him anymore"

"W-what?" she looked at him with fear and sadness.

"SAY IT NOW, KIANA! OR YOUR PATHETIC FAMILY WILL DIE!"

"O-okay..."

"I d-don't love Clive and will not s-see him anymore"

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SPEAK LOUDER NOW, KIANA"

"I DON'T LOVE CLIVE AND I WILL NOT SEE HIM ANYMORE! I WILL STAY FAR AWAY FROM HIM!" Kiana yelled as she tries her to stay calm and not wanting to cry in front of Clive's father.

"Good. Do you hear that, my son? You don't need to focus on her anymore."

Kiana immediately turned her head, trying to find Clive. She saw both Clive and Joshua.... seeing sadness across their faces... true pain appears in Clive's blue eyes.

"Clive! I--"

Clive turned away his face, not wanting to see Kiana. Joshua's confused eyes looks all around as he tries to understand the situation. He knows that Kiana loves his older brother dearly. She told Aqua and Joshua about her romantic feelings towards Clive. Even Jill was there and is happy for her too! Them being happy for her and begged her to tell her feelings to him. Kiana disagreed and explains that she will once she is ready. So why is she lying right now...?

Joshua was able to say something to Clive but their father interrupts them. Both Clive and Joshua wasn't there when Lord Rosfield was forcing Kiana to say those cruel words in there...

Kiana continues to say anything to Clive but he still refused to see nor hear her. Making her fall down in her delicate knees, feeling defeated as she fails to convince Clive.... her brown eyes filled with emptiness and sorrow....

"Good, you know the consequences for getting in the way of my son's training. For your punishment, you will be staying in your room all day unless I need you to do something in the castle."

Kiana froze as she listened to his words, already hating the idea of not seeing everyone that she cares and love. Especially Clive... Kiana is going to regret this but she doesn't care! She will not obey his commands anymore! Kiana wants to start working on her confidence. She doesn't want to be shy and quiet any longer!

"NO! I WANT TO SEE AND BE WITH CL---" she was interrupted once again as Lord Rosfield slapped her face harshly, rage in his face as he continued to slap her more...

Witnessing the horror of his father slapping Kiana's sweet face, Clive tries to run in order to stop his father, however, the knight guards stopped him as Clive screamed her name. The guards using their weapons and preventing him to go anywhere as they hold Clive with force. It took more than four knights to hold him.

Kiana's older sister couldn't handle this anymore and stood up from the ground, furious on her eyes. Still having her rope all around her body but she doesn't care. She needs to protect her little sister even if she has to die trying to save Kiana.

"¡¡OYE, PEDAZO DE MIERDA!! ¡DEJA A MI HERMANITA EN PAZ!

(HEY, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! LEAVE MY LITTLE SISTER ALONE!)

Lord Rosfield stopped his hand and slowly turned his face towards Kiana's older sister, not focusing on Kiana anymore

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! KIANA, WHAT DID YOUR SISTER SAID TO ME?!"

Ignoring his demands and desperately told her older sister to stop and forget about her.

"¡¿OLVIDARTE?! ¡NO, MATARÉ A LORD ROSFIELD SI TENGO QUE HACERLO! ¡NO QUIERO QUE SUFRAS HERMANITA!"

(FORGET YOU?! NO, I WILL KILL LORD ROSFIELD IF I HAVE TO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO SUFFER LITTLE SIS!)

Both Kiana and her older sister talking to each other in their native language, everyone getting more confused and not understanding their talking.

"ENOUGH!! GUARDS, KILL THAT WENCH OF KIANA'S SISTER! KIANA WILL GET HER PUNISHMENT NEXT"

They obeyed Clive's father and walked menacingly towards Kiana's family. Kiana screaming for Clive to stop them. Clive used his all of his strength to push the knight guards away, which he was able to be free from them. Clive gripped his hilt of his sword and took out his sword from the scabbard, in order for him to save Kiana's family. He doesn't want Kiana to hate him because of his father. He can't fully understand why his father is so cruel towards Kiana and her family. Clive can't be thinking about it right now. He NEEDS to save Kiana! He hasn't told his love confession to her.... Clive wouldn't forgive himself if she dies in front of him. He will save her no matter what!

'I'm going to save you, Kiana! I don't care if my parents doesn’t accept us! You're not dying today! Everything will be fine, Kiana!'

Oh, how fate continues to torture Kiana and Clive..... Especially what's going to happened next...

As soon he was close to Kiana's family, Clive's father stood in front of Kiana. Her looking up at him. Fearing for her life as Kiana yelled out her beloved knight's name, Clive's father swung his sword. Slashing across her body before thrusting the tip of the sword through her chest, making her cough blood from her mouth. Kiana falling down to the dirt ground, blood appearing from her red with black maiden's dress as her brown eyes slowly losing life... Kiana looks at Clive and her family, not able to hear their cries of her name... Kiana feels pain from her ears, knowing that they are bleeding and trying to get out from the ground but fails as she kept hurting herself.

"FATHER? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!" Clive's furious blue eyes stared at his father, as he walked quickly to Kiana but Lord Rosfield stopped him.

"SON, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT SHE'S A DISTRACTION TO YOUR WELL-BEING AND YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUR TRAINING"

"NO, SHE ISN'T! I NEED TO S--"

"DIDN'T YOU PROMISE TO ME THAT YOU WILL GUARDING JOSHUA AND BE HIS SHIELD! THE SHIELD OF ROSARIA?!"

Clive's mouth closed shut as he didn't say anything to his father, trying to find a way to save Kiana. Clive's father snapped his fingers as he ordered his guards once again, ordering them to take Clive and Joshua away from there.

Kiana's older sister, Ana, witnessing her dying little sister in front of her. Tears falling down from her hazel eyes as she began to sprint towards Clive's father.

¡¡ESTAS MUERTO!! ¡¡TE MATARÉ, BASTARDO!!

(YOU'RE DEAD!! I WILL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!)

It was horrible for Kiana to see the knights getting closer to her older sister, not able to move a muscle and screamed her name in agony.

"ANA!! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS! FORGET ME!!", Kiana was able to utter her words before losing her voice, coughing more blood... Surprised that she is even still alive....

"HERMANITA! I WILL SAVE Y--"

Ana wasn't able to say a word as dark shadow appears below her legs, a demonic eye stared at her widely. Ready to swallow her whole.

"Qué? What is tha-" Ana said her last words before the demonic shadow swallowed her whole body and suddenly disappeared in front of Kiana's brown eyes...

"Ana....no....", Kiana tries to scream or say something but she is losing consciousness. Knowing that she will die soon...

Lord Rosfield looked terrified, leaning back as he tries to remain calm. All of the knights looked each other in terror, asking to each other on what just happened. Then, Lord Rosfield laughed as he grabbed his chin.

"I get it now....You're a monster, Kiana. It is your fault that Clive is in love with you! Your family must be like you too, right?!" He was slowly losing his sanity, as if he is a crazy mad man....

"Kill her family! We must exterminate them", Lord Rosfield commanded his knights, the Rosaria knights agreeing with him as they beheaded Kiana's whole family. Kiana felt hopeless as she saw her parents and siblings' heads drop down in the ground. Their dead eyes staring at her eyes. Traumatizing Kiana even more as she felt numb...Not caring about herself. She only wished she was stronger. If only she has her own powers to revenge her family... Maybe she can be worthy for Clive and everyone in Rosaria... She can never forgive Lord Rosfield, wanting to kill him...But Kiana doesn't want Clive and Joshua to hate her....Clive hating her and wanting her die... She would rather end her life than hurting him....Kiana closed her eyes, accepting her death.

'I guess I'm dying....I will be joining you...mamá...papá...hermanas....wait for me...please..."

"Poor Kiana. I feel bad for you. Why don't you form a pact with me?"

A distorted and ominous voice snapped her thoughts as she looked around her surroundings. Not longer feeling pain as she stood up from the ground.

"Who are you? Where am I...?", Kian spoked nervously as she tries to see the mysterious shadow person.

"Oh, sorry for my bad manners. Let me show you who I REALLY am, Kiana", the voice laughed as if they are losing their voice.

The mysterious person suddenly transformed themselves as a three headed skeleton dragon in front of Kiana. Shocking her as she falls down to the floor. Terrified of what she is seeing, wanting to scream but her voice doesn't let her....

"Please don't kill me!"

"Kiana, you're already dead."

"......"

"Don't worry, you can be alive again if you agree to form a pact with me.".

"Why...?", Kiana looked at the dragon confused, asking the real question and worried if she has to do something worse...

"Because you deserve better, Kiana. Your family got killed right in front of you."

"......please don't remind me about that...I know and it's my fault....", Kiana cries as she finished her sentence, blaming herself more. Feeling useless and want to be with her family.

"No, it isn't your fault. It's that bastard! Clive Rosfield's father should die!"

"B-but we can't! I don't want Clive to hate me...."

"Very well, then. We wouldn't kill him but I want to taste those knights' souls!"

"No! You can't k--"

"They killed your family, right? Let me use your body to take their souls. Then, you can be alive. You don't need to worry, Kiana...", the three headed skeleton dragon spoked slowly but Kiana understood what they were saying to her.

"I....."

"You want to see Clive again. Then, make a deal. I wouldn't kill the Rosfield family and you let me use your body. Reviving you as I take those knights' souls. Deal?"

".....fine, it's a deal...tell me your name please...", Kiana spoked softly as she looked at the dragon, her brown eyes filled desperation and fear.

"I will tell you my name once we sealed our pact, Kiana."

The dragon decided to use two of their heads, getting closer to Kiana. She panicked, however, stayed calm as the dragon's heads were in the front of her small yet delicate hands. Biting gently to her forehand as Kiana winced in pain. A tattoo of the three headed skeleton dragon appeared in both of her hands. Then, it just disappeared as if it wasn't there at all.

"We formed a pact, Kiana. It seems that you are afraid of me... Let me turn into a "human" so you can feel comfortable."

"Huh? What are you do--"

The dragon slowly transformed themselves, their huge figure coming down as they are fully human in front of Kiana. Kiana's eyes widened as her face blushes. Covering her face as she looked away from the now, humanoid tall lady with long horns.

"WHY ARE YOUR...CHE--...I MEAN, WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO LOOK LIKE THAT??", Kiana yelled in embarrassment, not wanting to see them.

"I knew you will love it, Kiana! Who can resist my perfect body~?", they winked at Kiana as they know it will embarrassed Kiana even more. Giggling to themselves as Kiana panicked even more as she stuttered her words to them.

"Hey, I even have my huge chest that every men craves and every women desired to have so they can satisfy their love ones~"

"PLEASE STOP TALKING!"

"Alright, then. You will wear like this though, Kiana."

"WHAT?! NO! I CA--"

"Your body wouldn't change at all. Just on how you would look and your clothes, Kiana."

Kiana blushes more as she starts to imagine on how Clive will see her in that outfit....Kiana would rather die than exposing her skin to everyone. She really wants to talk with Clive again though....

"O-okay. Promise me that you wouldn't hurt Clive...."

"I will only take the souls of the knights. I promise, Kiana.", they smiled gleefully as their hands were on their hips.

"Okay, let's do it."

"My name is Fediel. Call my name as you raised both of you hands, Kiana!"

Kiana nodded and did exactly as she was told.

"COME TO ME, FEDIEL!", Kiana screamed the dragon's name as Fediel's shit eating grin appeared on their face. Getting excited to use Kiana's body and getting what they want.

Clive watches as Kiana's dead corpse in front of him, his mind racing as he looked at his father with such hatred and rage. Ready to attack his own father. Not caring if he is no longer part of Rosfield name. He would rather die with Kiana than staying with here.

"FATHER! I WILL KILL YOU! I SWEAR YOU WILL BEGGED FOR MERC--"

Clive wasn't able to finish his sentence as purple flames blasted all around the castle and Kiana.... Clive looked rapidly towards the purple flames, wondering what's going on. A figure slowly approached out of the flames, a young lady looked down as they continued walking towards the knights.

"Kiana...is that you?", Clive spoked to the young lady in a concerned tone, hoping for Kiana to answer him.

"No! My name is Fediel!! TIME TO DIE, YOU MORTALS!!", Kiana laughed maniacally, her voice is combined with hers and Fediel. Echoing to each other as Kiana slaughtered every knights. Beheading and cutting their flesh to pieces. Kiana is no longer wearing her maiden dress and she appears to have long horns in her head. Kiana's brown braid hair turned grayish as her long hair got much longer. Clive and his family watched in horror, seeing the shy yet sweet Kiana killing the knights with no mercy. As if she is enjoying her kills.....

"OH! I AM SO DELIGHTED TO BE BACK! I WILL GET ALL OF YOUR SOULS AND THEY WILL BE MINE!", Kiana grinned as she walked towards to the last knight. The knight begging for their life to Kiana before ending their life. Blood splattered in her face and her body as she drinks their blood. Kiana turned away from the dead knight and looked at Lord Rosfield. Fearing for his life but mostly for his sons. Shielding Joshua as Kiana laughed at his attempt to protect his second son.

"I am not going to kill you. I promise Kiana that I will use her body to kill your knights."

"WHAT ARE YOU?! LEAVE NOW!"

"Oh, you don't tell me what to do. Kiana needs to say her goodbye first~"

Kiana closed her purple eyes and opened her brown eyes as she witnessed what Fediel did to the knights.... She still has her grayish hair and sighed to herself. She cries as she looked at Clive and Joshua. Seeing fear in their eyes as she starts to talk with them.

"I'm sorry Clive....Joshua.....please forgive me....you will never see me again....", Kiana smiled sadly to them as her tears falls down from her eyes. Using her powers to take her dead family with her, her skeleton wings appears in front of them.

"Goodbye Clive...."

"Wait, don’t leave Kiana!", Clive screamed her name as she used her wings, flying high to the sky. Taking her family as she finds a place to bury them.... Clive sees her from a far distance before he can no longer see Kiana anymore....

Clive collapsed to the ground and screamed her name, wanting her to come back to him.

"DON'T LEAVE ME, KIANA! I PROMISE THAT I WILL PROTECT YOU!"

"PLEASE COME BACK TO ME, KIANAAA!"

Clive cries as he felt unworthy to save his true love. Vowing to himself that he will get more stronger than before.

"I will find you, Kiana. I don't care if it'll take me days, months, or even years. You wouldn't suffer alone. Wait for me, my beautiful angel....

The demon masked man laughed as he walked away from the scene. Seeing the mysterious hooded man and smirked at them, patting their shoulder as they began to talk.

"My job is done, you can begin yours. Let's continue working together."

The mysterious hooded man smirked as well and nodded. Waiting for his time to strike as the sun slowly goes down, showing that it will be night. Then, he can bring more suffering and pain to Clive Rosfield and his family....

Chapter 1 end ☆

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