#chap 7 will be out hopefully this weekend
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chososcamgirl · 3 months ago
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HEHEBEBS WJEJBE HI SIGMAA IYAAAA‼️‼️RISE AND POSTTTT CUS ITS SJAP WEEKEENDDDDDDD RAHHH 🐺‼️🔥 DAILLYYY CHECK IN HRUUUUU😼😼😼 HOPE UR VERY VERY SIGMA TODAY CUS I AM🐺⁉️🔥
I JUST SAW UR CAT REVEAL OH MY GYATTTERSSSS 🥹🥹 SOO CUTE WHAG THE SIGMA I LOVE UR CAT SMMMM
I HAVE MY FIRST PRESENTATION ON OCT.7 FOR SCHOOL AMBASSADOR 😣😣 PREPARING MY SPEECH RN‼️ PLUS I SPENT 4HRS ON MY SCHOLARSHIP COMP YESTERDAY AND IM ONLY A QUARTER DONE. CHAT WHATTT ☹️☹️ ITS OKAY THO ILL LOCKKKK IN 🙂‍↕️🤞🔥💪
Heh.. the toge ask… I wasn’t joking abt that… I’d jump off a cliff IF HE WOULD JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCEEE PLEASEEREEEE SEGMNDBENENBEBENENENEN ANNERNDNDNJEJXJE. I ENED HIM IN MY VEINSSSSS (beep stop possessing me your starting to rub off on me 😫😫) 🔥😫🤤🤤🤤
I WOKE UP AT 6PM TODAY ☠️ BUT ITS OKAY CUS THAG MEANS LESS WAITING TIME FOR SJAPPPPP ARJDNDNENDBENJELDDKEN IM SO EXICSTED IN SHAKINGHHHHHGGGG RNNNNN ARNFNNFNENDJDNDNENEJE
OKOK ANSWER TO THE LAST QOTD…. I WOULD WORK IN LIKE A RLLY CUTE LIBRARY OR SOMETHING THAT SCREAMS GIRL NEXT DOOR VIBES IDK.. AND LIKE MY JOB WOULD START LATER JN THE DAY SO I CAN SLEEP WELL 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️‼️🔥 JUST SOMETHING RELAXING AND CUTE 🐺🔥
QOTDDDD IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY POWER WHAT WOULD IT BEEEE 🐺‼️🔥
OK BYE POOPOOO I LOVEE UUU (patiently waiting for the next chapter 🥰🥰)
- 🐺
HI ALPHA!!🐺🐺
i am SO tired rn i am about to go to sleep but i NEED to answer ur ask because ily and also bc i couldn’t go to sleep without LMFAO. YES SJAP WEEKEND IS HERE!! ONE POST DONE ONE MORE TO GO! (hopefully on time this time round)🙂‍↕️‼️ i am doing so good rn!! i worked today and as usual work was v fun like I LOVE IT! when we are both sigma… it’s a good day😈😈
THANK U!!! he says thank you too and he thinks ur very sigma🫵🫵 DONT STRESS TOO MUCH!! I KNOW YOULL DO WELL!! u have the power of the pack (NAME STAT) and u r the most alpha out so you’ll do AMAZING🙂‍↕️🫰 LOCK IN!!🔥🔥
LMFAO beep is a bad influence on EVERYONE not them getting to u too.. toge ask is so real tho i will admit🙏 6PM?? HELLO ?? HOW DID U SLEEP IN SO LATE IM CRYING😭😭 i’ll get out the next chap on time just for you🫵
ALSO YES GIRL NEXT DOOR VIBES!! so cute i love it we are #twinning also YES heavy on relaxing because duh we must love our job 🙂‍↕️ we should def work in a library together
AOTD‼️ mind reading or teleportation!!! i think those would be the coolest + most useful powers out there. WBY!!!? ILY ALPHA!!! 🙂‍↕️😈🐺 STAY TUNED FOR TMR GOODNIGHT!!
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theretirementstory · 9 months ago
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Bonjour toute le monde, I am still at home and am enjoying my garden. We had three days of gorgeous weather where the temperatures reached 20c, although I was doing a lot of washing and letting it dry outside I still managed to prune my roses, clear nettles from around the paniculata and cleared out the dead leaves and weeds from the peonies.
The delicious meal at the restaurant did not disappoint, I decided to have a starter and what a cracking choice it was, tartine of chèvre chaud with a salad made with apple, pears and more cheese, it was really delicious. I then had the filet of beef with pepper sauce, gratin dauphinois and green beans plus I still had room for the delicious exotic fruits with sorbet. It was certainly worth going as I really enjoyed it all.
I had to go to the hospital for a platelet transfusion on Monday and I thought I was never going to get home! Did they not realise we were having similar to toad in the hole for dinner!
“The Photographer” and I were still busy getting my affairs in order. The one thing that was most important to me was having a funeral plan in place. We went and got the estimate and then I had an appointment on Friday for it all to be finalised. That’s it, I have the paperwork, it’s all paid for and an additional burden removed from my sons’ shoulders.
For our last meal together, “The Photographer” drove us to Buffalo Grill. I didn’t feel as hungry as I had previously and couldn’t eat all of my steak but I still managed a slice of cheesecake which was delicious.
Then it was time for “The Photographer” to leave. I was waiting for a taxi, which didn’t show, to take me to the hospital for my PET scan. The lady said it hadn’t been booked 🤔. So I spent an extra hour with him as he drove me to the hospital for the scan. It was a long day for him but he returned home safe and well and we had spent a lovely nine days together.
As I said the weather was gorgeous and so I took advantage and got all of the bedding washed (it will soon be ironed and put away). I have my bag to pack for hospital tomorrow.
Lots of messages from friends, Anie, Pauline, Monique. Maud and Claudine in France, Mary, Val, Jo, Jackie and Miranda in the UK.
My gorgeous grandchildren have been with Daddy this weekend, what little cuties they are! I got gorgeous photos of my grandson and my granddaughter was in studious mode until she knew that her uncle was coming to visit and my goodness the smile on her face when she saw him was amazing. They were both sitting on his knee, just loving being with him. My grandson was using his uncle’s girlfriend’s phone to take selfies, cheeky little chap.
“The Trainee Solicitor” is still trying to do his work and prepare the office for a new member of staff (hopefully one arrives soon). It is full on busy and boy will he be glad of a four day weekend this coming week.
“The Reconnect Navigator” has been given her own cases and feels that things are moving along. She also had her first payday which is a great day in anyone’s book.
“The Jetsetter” returned from her trip to Bologna, Venice and Florence and I know that during the stay aperol was consumed and I imagine quite a bit of pasta too. I always think it’s great to get away at this time of year as it sets you up for the summer.
My hair has fallen out big style now, I look a little like a friar with my big round bald patch in the middle of tufts of hair. As I don’t have the next round of chemo until maybe another month, I think I will be bald for sometime (I am not really liking it!)
My first piece of music this week comes from the artist I know as Terence Trent D’Arby but who is now known as Sananda Maitreya. To choose between “If You Let Me Stay” and “Sign Your Name” has proven very difficult, I am going to go with “Sign Your Name” but why not listen to them both. This song was released in 1987, wow so long ago!
The second song, has quite a haunting melody, it’s “7 Seconds” by Youssou N’Dour ft. Neneh Cherry, it was released in 1994.
Now I really must go to the supermarket, I need to get some filters for my Brita water filter (other makes are available) and I would like to buy something tasty for this evenings meal.
I will wish you all a Bon Dimanche and leave you with the photos of the spring flowers and the cherry blossom.
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zvkos · 6 years ago
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CH. 6: DELETED SCENE
wassup my loves!! it’s been a month since the last instant crush chap, and i feel so crappy that i haven’t been able to give y’all anything sooner. i have a part of chapter six that i wrote and then got rid of, but i thought: “instead of deleting it, why not post it as something separate?” so that’s what imma do! give you all something to tide over the wait till chapter seven. it’s short and sweet (and unedited :p) but pls take this as a peace offering 💕 
SUNDAY
Sundays are lazy days for Clementine. They always have been. She'll wake up to the muffled sounds of the vacuum cleaner seeping underneath her door. She'll go downstairs to find Lee vacuuming the living room, singing along to the crooning of the television.
Undoubtedly on the 80s music channel.
He'll greet her before she pours herself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. That bowl of cereal will accompany her in her room as she works on homework until A.J wakes up and demand she join him in watching the newest episode of his latest cartoon obsession. They'll spend quite some time like this—curled up on the couch together—until Lee makes A.J clean his room and start on his forgotten homework. Then Clem is left to her own devices.
Most teenagers are out with friends on Sundays. Some have extracurricular activities that keep them busy during the weekends. More often than not, Clem has nothing.
This Sunday is the same.
With only four months left in the school year, it’s too late to join any clubs. She contemplates texting Ruby and seeing what she’s up to, but decides against it for fear of coming off as clingy. The idea to text Sophie appears in her mind for a split second and disappears just as quick.  
No, instead she resolves to help Lee with laundry because… why not?
She’s folding A.J's shirts when her phone loudly vibrates on top of the dryer. Lee is separating the dark and light clothing when his head jerks up at the harsh sound.
Clem grabs her phone and checks the notification. Lee's watchful eye has her controlling her expression, but she can't stop the small smile that breaks through.
[3:16pm Louis] U ever feel like ur brain is melting out ur ears?
[3:16pm Louis] Bc that's me doing my calc hwk rn
She shoots a quick reply back and continues to fold A.J's shirts—periodically stopping to reply to Louis.
The cold loneliness she felt melts away. He’s so easy to talk to. She was nervous to text him after Saturday night, not wanting to disturb him. According to everyone, Louis is a social butterfly. He probably has plenty of people vying for his attention.
So she's pleasantly surprised he texted her at all.
She doesn't miss the way Lee watches her out of the corner of his eye. If he’s curious about who she’s talking to, he doesn’t say anything, choosing to stay silent.
She's grateful for that. She doesn't know how many more times she can say “a friend from school” before he insists on knowing who.
The texts continue long after she's done with the laundry. They're still going strong, even after the sun bleeds a deep orange into the sky and disappears behind the horizon. It's nearing six o'clock when she realizes they've been talking for two hours—going on three.
She only peels her eyes away from her phone when A.J appears at her door with his arms folded. “Who're you talking to?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Louis,” she answers, sitting at her desk. Two new speech bubbles pop up on her screen as Louis replies.
A.J gasps and rushes to her, gripping the back of her chair as he peers over her shoulder. “Can I say hi?”
“I'm texting him, A.J.” Clem holds up her phone so he can glimpse at the bubbles of text. “I'll let him know you said hi, though.”
A.J frowns in confusion. “Why not just call him?” Before she can register what's happening, A.J snatches the phone out of Clem's hand and presses the button to video call Louis.
“Whoa—! A.J!” Clem twists around in her chair and reaches for her phone, but A.J is too fast. He darts away from her, holding the phone above his head.
“A.J, I swear—” Clem lunges for the phone at the exact moment Louis picks up the call.
She stops mid-action when his face takes up the majority of her screen. “Hey,” he says, looking slightly puzzled but still smiling. “If I had known you wanted to video call I would've—oh, you're not Clem.”
The phone is maybe four inches from A.J's face. “Hi, Louis!” the kid exclaims with a huge grin plastered on his face.
Louis says, “Hey, A.J!” Then adds, “You're a little close to the camera there, buddy. I can only see your forehead.”
A.J stretches out his arm so the phone is farther away. “Better?”
“Yup, better.”
Clem simmers off to the side, out of the camera's view. A.J can be a real pain sometimes.  
“So, uh, is Clem there? Or did you steal her phone?”
“Clem's here!” Before she can tell him no, A.J is shoving the phone in her face. “Say hi, Clem!”
She was not prepared to see anyone today, let alone Louis of all people. For one, she's still in her pajamas--which consists of an old, faded college shirt from Lee and grey sweats—and her hair is a mess. She's not one to fret over appearances, but this is a bit much. She wills her cheeks to remain their normal shade as she greets him with a wave. “Hey, Louis.”
“Hi, Clem.” He appears to be in his room—if the bed and books are anything to go by. He's wearing a white t-shirt, looking relaxed. “I'm assuming A.J is the one who called me?”
“He—”
A.J turns the phone towards himself, interrupting her with his own sentence. “Yeah! I wanted to say hi.”
Louis chuckles. “I'm flattered. How are you, little man? Doin’ okay?”
“Mhm,” A.J hums. “Can I show you my Monster Alliance collection?”
Louis blinks, caught off guard. “S-Sure thing.”
Clementine stands behind A.J and rests her chin on his shoulder so their heads are side by side. She mouths, “I'm sorry” to Louis, unbeknownst to her little brother. Louis’ mouth twitches in a smirk.
“Lemme show you my room,” A.J says before he's off, gallivanting out of Clem's room and down the hallway.
“Don't hog the phone, A.J!” She calls after his retreating form. “I need it back!”
“I won't!”
Poor Louis. Clementine laughs inwardly, comparing his situation to a prisoner being carried away against their will. She's sat through one of A.J's Monster Alliance lectures before—they're not short. The kid knows enough information about the game to conduct his own class on it.
It's a good thing Louis is kind enough to listen. However, Clem finds herself restless in the absence of their conversation. She wishes A.J didn't have to interrupt their conversation.
Chatting with Louis was the highlight of her Sunday. Clem doesn't remember the last time she felt so comfortable talking to someone who wasn't her immediate family.
Yes, she's comfortable with Ruby, Omar, and Aasim—but there's an uninhibited comfort that can't be explained with Louis.
It softens her—makes her feel mellow.
But now she has to wait for A.J to finish talking to him and who knows how long that'll take.
So she pulls out her notebook and starts studying for her biology quiz because now's as good a time as any.
An hour full of microfilaments and microtubules passes before A.J barrels into her room a second time.
“So Vextaur doubles as a support and a defender,” Louis' voice comes from the phone in A.J's hand.
“Yup,” A.J says. “But a lot of players only use Vextaur as a support. That leaves their backline open for attack.”
Clem furrows her brows, not understanding a word of their conversation.
“Wow, I gotta remember that. Good tip, A.J,” Louis says.
“I can show you how to play next time you come over!” A.J stands next to Clem while she sits on her bed. He covers the screen with his hand and whispers, “Can you invite Louis over so we can play Monster Alliance?”
Clem snorts. “He can still hear you, A.J.”
“Please, Clem!” A.J begs.
“I’ll come over soon, little guy, I promise,” Louis says, his face still blocked under A.J’s hand.
A.J removes his hand to show his sudden grin. “Okay!”
“A.J!” Lee’s deep voice travels from downstairs. “Come here!”
Clem and A.J glance at each other in question. He hands the phone to Clem as he says, “I have to go! Bye!”
“Alright! See you, buddy!” is Louis’ farewell. A.J is gone in a second, leaving Clem in her room by herself.
“I’m so sorry,” Clem says, situating herself against her pillows. “How was A.J’s lesson?”
Louis seems to have his phone propped on something because both of his hands are free as they drag down his face. “My head hurts.”
Clem laughs. She knows that feeling.
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theymakemegayer · 4 years ago
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Reputation: Chapter 8
Read chapter 1-7 HERE
a/n: prepare some tissues and hold your heart this was a rollercoaster of emotions!
Warning: Cursing/Profanities
(edit, sorry forgot to tag)
Taglist: @crazzyplays @riptideyun @baexpoppy @save-me-the-last-dance @somewillwin @dopeyouth
a short playlist: (kept on playing this while writing this chap)
This Love - Taylor Swift
Heather - Conan Gray
Falling - Harry Styles
Lose - NIKI
*=*=*=*=*=*=*
I woke up feeling like something was stuck on my chest making me numb inside. A huge cloud hang above me and my body refused to move out of the bed. My tears had dried off, while the pain was already engraved in my bones. Zoey barged in my room. I had no energy to master even a smile, I just waved at her. Her eyes were sad. I refused to look at it. Sadness only reminded me of the reality, and reality was I got too close to her despite Zoey's warnings.  I felt my bed dipped as Zoey lay beside me. Her soft eyes drifted on my face. I didn't spoke nor did she. I found calmness in this silence. 
 I felt Zoey moving an arm and wrapped on my waist, "I'm here for you, Bea." She whispered softly, breath tickling on my shoulder.
 I felt my eyes sting, like a dam broke, tears started to linger in my eyes.
 I crinkled my nose and clenched my jaws. I refused to cry. I refuse to embrace the pain I stupidly received for trusting her.
 Bea. Bea.
 I heard her voice in my head. I can still feel her touch. Just one damn night, yet she managed to carved hers into me.
 "Just let it out B," Zoey murmured.
 I seek for warmth. I seek for something - anything to fill the hole she dug in my chest. Zoey offered a shelter in her arms as the rain came pouring. My hand crumpled Zoey's shirt as I let these tears out once again. Maybe letting it out would finally ease the pain. Soothing hands rubbed my back, as the storm continued.
 As I calmed down, I withdrew from Zoey and looked into her eyes. She had a soft smile. It was somehow contagious making me smile even a little.
 "Thanks," I murmured.
 "Anytime," She patted my tear stained cheeks, "Wanna go out today?
 Desperate for distractions, I nodded.
 Later on, we were enjoying some ice cream for desserts in some ice cream parlor we stumbled in the mall. I left my phone at home, so I won't be tempted to look at the comments and to check if she-- never mind that useless thought.
 Zoey was a good help for distraction. Even though I still wasn't sure if my soul was still intact in me. Zoey made me feel good about myself today. Why can't I just have a crush on some normal people instead of--
 "I had to ask Bea," Zoey interrupted my thoughts, a small smile on her lips, "How was last night?"
 I was in the middle of having another scoop of ice cream. Her question made me stop mid air. I put down my spoon stifling a sigh. I wasn't ready for this question.
 "Oh, you know," I shrugged my shoulders, "I helped out humiliating Chloe by feeding Bradley some sugary words. We partied a bit after then I get home."
 Zoey looked at me carefully, "Nothing more happened?"
 I gave her a small smile. It seemed like it was the only smile I can do today. "Nothing," I paused scooping another ice cream, letting the sweetness of it mix with the bitterness of my next words, "I should have look for more dirt about her." My eyes drifted ahead of me, mind starting to get lost with a hundred of thoughts.
 I felt Zoey's warm hand on my arm. I looked at her, just as her eyes softened, "It's alright. We'll look for another way, but for now let's focus on our date."
 I smiled, "That's better."
 *=*=*
 Weekend came and the need to go to classes came too. I tried to act like everything was normal, but it wasn't. The laughter and stares I got wherever I go was like a dagger making my wounds bleed again. I had felt embarrassed before, but being humiliated almost wherever I go? It made me wish I wasn't Bea Hughes. And any site of a blonde hair made me fled immediately. I wasn't ready to see her anytime soon. I don't think I can handle it.
 I was walking towards my dorm room. I just finished my classes. I slowed down with my pace when I spot something in front of the door of my dorm room. 
 Is that a plant? My interest was piqued immediately. A smile immediately tugged on my lips. With all of the things I had been going through this past few days, I can almost feel some of the weight in my chest lifted up. Growing up in a farm, it was like love at first sight when I started helping my father in the farm. I felt a lot more at peace and myself whenever I was surrounded by plants.
 I power walked towards it, still wearing a smile. As I stood in front of it, I realized it was an Apple tree planted on a pot. A white card caught my attention too. It was tied on one of the stem. I plucked out the card and read the short note written.
  Didn't see you around campus today. Bummer. This little gift is for you, Bea. -P
  I scoffed, while my smile faded. How dare she give me gifts after what she did to me? I realized, of course she would do something like this. She would rub it on my face and grin at me, finding joy in knowing I perfectly fell on her trap.
 I crouched as I carry the potted plant inside; despite how I don't want to be reminded of her. A plant was still something close to my heart, so I would take care of this. Besides, this would definitely die if I gave it back to her.
 A week passed. My mind had been filled with self-loathing these past few days. My ‘what ifs’ were also piling up. If I hadn't trusted her... you see another what if. That's why I decided to go for a walk in a nearby park with Beppy - hoping it would lessen the burden I had been carrying.
 I sat on the grass, my back leaning on the tree behind me. It was a calm afternoon. The distant noises coming from the few people on the park were the only noises I can hear.
 I unleashed Beppy letting her run around me for a while. I sighed letting the fresh air fill me up. I held out the squeaky ball toy in front of Beppy. His tail started wagging.
 I giggled, "You want this?"
 His tail wagged furiously mouth ajar. I chuckled, "Fetch Beppy."
 I played with Beppy for a while. I let myself get lost with the bubble of happiness Beppy and I made. His gleaming eyes whenever he gave back the squeaky ball toy lifted a piece of burden from me.
 Moments later after I threw again the ball while Beppy was running back towards me he stopped somewhere not far from me. The ball in his mouth fell as he walked towards the tree or rather to someone. I raised my eyebrow. Who was that?
 "Wha--" Clueless I called for his attention, "Beppy!"
 Instead of looking at me he sat in front of the stranger - which I can't clearly see since the tree was hiding them from my view. I stood up and dusted my sweatpants. I strolled towards them.
 As I was nearing their place I heard a familiar voice, "Beppy where's your mom?"
 I halted in my step with my breath hitching. That voice. My eyes grew wide. I clenched my jaw as I feel my heart dropping to my stomach. Good Lord I am not ready for this. 
 My thoughts swarmed me. My limbs lost its strength to take the next step towards them. Like a joke - a really bad joke, Beppy spotted me and barked as if calling for me.
 I exhaled loudly, with my legs shaking I took my next step towards them.
 As I round the tree I finally spotted her. She was caressing Beppy's head affectionately, a soft smile on her lips. I felt my shoulder and jaw tensed as she looked up and met my eyes.
 "Farmsville." She said nonchalantly, but her eyes mirrored a different story. It was soft - almost yearning? I clenched my jaw as we stared at each other for a while.
 "I was waiting when you will show up," She spoke once again breaking the silence.
 "Are you finished catching up with Beppy? Can I take her now?" I asked in a monotone voice.
 She scoffed, "After you avoided me for a whole week, you're just gonna waltz out like that?"
 I crossed my arms protectively in front of me, "We have nothing to talk about. I don't want to waste my time with you again."
 "Oh so now I am a waste of your time? And did you just say again?!" She exclaimed in a high pitched tone, a frown deeply etched on her face as her eyes narrowed at me.
 "Yes." I spoke. My mask was completely intact not letting her saw any emotion on my face.
 "I don't get you Bea." She sighed suddenly looking... tired? Or was it sadness?
 I scoffed, burying those thoughts, "You really had the nerve to act clueless right now?" I exclaimed exasperated, "Listen to me closely Poppy," I gulped. Saying her name felt like I was burying the knife she planted in my chest deeper, "You won Poppy. You - fucking - won." I said through gritted teeth. "Is this your way of mocking me? Then go on. Laugh at me. I fell in your fucking trap." I hate how my eyes stings as I spitted out my words.
 "I cared for you. I believed in you. I fucking trusted you." I exclaimed quite loudly, a few passerby glancing at us. "And then what did you do?" My eyes started to blur with tears and I started to hate myself more at this moment. I hate looking weak in front of her. "You stabbed me in the back." I inhaled deeply, "Zoey warned me from you, but what did I do? I ignored her. I should have listened instead." Tears were slowly falling now. I wiped it harshly. She just blinked at me, mouth gaping.
 I laughed dryly, "Don't worry Poppy. In the first place, I didn't even want that stupid crown. Just stay away from me. I'll be out of your way and your life."
 I didn't wait for any reply or reaction from her. I walked towards Beppy and scooped him up. His eyes looked sad. I smiled at him despite the few tears that were still falling.
 I kissed his head and murmured, "I'll feel better soon Beppy, hopefully." 
 *=*=*
 It was a weekend. I just walked out from a clothing shop. After that encounter with her, I started to focus more on myself - just doing more of 'me time', and a continuous amount of mental and emotional self-check. I just rounded up a corner when I spotted Veronica. She was probably having another one of her live streams. Our eyes met. In an instant she frowned.
 I tried to ignore her. I continued walking not sparing her another glance. I was just tired of interacting to anyone that was related to her. 
 "Bea! Wait up!" Veronica suddenly called out.
 Sighing I halted with my steps. So much for avoiding any of them. I prepared my mind and emotions internally before I turned around and face Veronica.
 I plastered a smile as she walked up to me.
 "Can we talk?" She said once she was in front of me.
 "We're already talking aren't we?" I bit my tongue. My retort at her had so much bite than I intended.
 She raised an eyebrow. The usual composed Veronica seemed different today, maybe a little pissed off. Probably with the way I talked back at her... oops.
 "It's about Poppy." She said.
 I clenched my jaws, "Of course this is about her. Didn't I tell her to stay away from me already?
 She raised an eyebrow at me, "Okay, clearly I don't know about that specially with how close you both got--"
 I laughed dryly, cutting her off, "You mean her ploy that worked out cause now I'm Belvoir's number 1 clown?"
 "Look I don't know what's Poppy's plan or what's going on with her head, but she seemed weird and different after you two partnered up with that project. At first it was only small and little details I noticed, but--"
 I cut her off again, "Hold on. You're telling me you're actually very observant? I mean no offense, but with the time you spent on your phone I'm surprised."
 She laughed, "Poppy is still my friend, and I care for that bitch."
 "Good for her. I'm already done being mushy with her, so whatever this is you're trying to convince me with? I don't want to hear it." 
 Veronica sighed like her patience was starting to wear thin, "Alright. Just answer this one question then I'll leave you."
 "Fine," I grumbled.
 "What changed Bea? You sound like you really hate her now." Her eyes turned soft, all of a sudden. 
 It irked me. It was already one thing with Poppy backstabbing me and now this?! "Did Poppy send you to mock me on how stupid I was to actually trust her?" I glared at her my anger raging in me.
 She waved her hands frantically in front of her, "No," She shook her head. A sad smile painted on her lips, "So I guess that was your answer huh."
 I clenched my jaws. Stupid Bea. "Nothing changed. I'm just treating her the way I should have from the very start. That's my real answer."
 She was still smiling at me, "To be honest I don't know why I wanted to talk to you about Poppy. Something was really off about her now-a-days, and I felt like you were the reason."
 "Whether I am the reason or not, I don't care. She should deal with it. She brought this upon herself." I said through gritted teeth.
 Veronica looked at me, her eyes sad. I hate it. These past few days, I hate seeing or being reminded of sadness cause deep down my heart was hurting and feeling sad for what she did. 
 "I better leave Bea. Thanks for the talk." 
 I just nodded. She patted my shoulders and smiled at me before turning around and leaving. I sighed. The relaxation I was aiming for this afternoon all gone in a blink of an eye. And now I was left with the bitter pill called reality, that I was having a hard time swallowing. I was still hurting, and the most painful part? I actually missed her. 
 Later that night, I was left alone in the dorm. Zoey had some things to do and would be home late; being cooped up in the dorm alone made me feel like I was drowning with thoughts about her. I felt overwhelmed, that's why I decided to go out to and have dinner to this diner I found near the train station a few days ago. It made me felt nostalgic about my hometown - when everything was okay.
 I tend to miss so many things these past few days. It was like I'm continuously being pulled by my thoughts to different things or places, as well as people, like her. 
 I walked out from the diner. My hair and clothes probably smelled like greasy food for staying a bit too long inside, but my stomach felt full and my mood got better, after that encounter I had with Veronica this afternoon. Speaking of her, my thoughts wandered again towards Poppy. I had been having a hard time from even mentioning her name, for fuck's sake.
 I don't want to fret much about her anymore, but somehow and someway the way Veronica tried to talk to me about her- worry started to crept in me.
 Sometimes I felt like my encounter with her was a joke some mighty divine entity played on me. Just like now, as I was walking along the train station I spot a person sitting on one of the benches. Their beautiful, frilly pink dress would catch anyone's attention, but what really caught my attention was who she was and that she was crying.
 Poppy...
 I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart was pounding in my rib cage, and like bees I hear my thoughts buzzing in my mind - loud and persuasive. As if all the battles in my mind ceased, and a certain answer finally marched in victory, I numbly took my first step towards her. 
 I stood just right in front of her. Her hands were covering her face while her quiet sobs and her shoulders trembling broke her pretence. She wasn't alright and it broke my heart.
 "Poppy...?" I whispered her name. Cold wind breezed past us dishevelling her hair. I shiver at the coldness and so does she. Slowly she lifted her head. The little cracks in me broke more as I stare at her swollen red eyes. 
 A deep frown was etched on her face, "What?" Irritation and annoyance was evident on her voice.
 I gulped thickly, my mouth felt dried all of a sudden, "What are you doing here?" I spoke, my voice crisped - almost unrecognizable even for me.
 "None of your business Hughes," She gritted her teeth and stood up. Her eyes were the same level at me as she stared at me. Like a soft whisper through the quiet night, softness flashed in her eyes quickly. I almost wasn't sure if it was for real, but the way my heart was pounding, shut down all the noises in my head.
 She averted her eyes and I realized she was about to leave. My chest ached once again. My hands reached for her even before I realized what I was doing, holding her wrist gently. "Don't go," I whispered. I noticed how her jaw and shoulders tensed.
 I felt the cracks in me; they were bruised and wounded, by this same person I was asking to stay. I was still hurting, but so does she. And Poppy... she almost never cries.
 Just one last time. One last time that I was going to care for her. One last time I would listen to my heart.
 She turned around and when I met her eyes - her brown teary eyes - my mind finally made up. I would be here for her, one last time.
 Like walls crumbling down, I watched as she crossed the distance between us and hugged me. Her perfume wafted my senses and her warmth filled up the cracks in me. I didn't realize that there were tears streaming down on my face already. I missed her.
 I sniffed quietly. Sadly, I still need to be on my guard no matter how much I was yearning for this. 
 Heavy rain started to pour as she started to cry. Her sobbed were muffled by the rain. Yet I still heard her loud and clear. A sudden urge to shelter her from her own storm on her mind arose to me. I tightened my hug and caressed her head.
 The rain hadn't stopped yet, but her tears started to calm down. She withdrew from me and wiped her tears. Before I can even think what I was doing I reached out and wiped her tears with the sleeves of my jacket.
 She suddenly grimaced, "Eww. Where have you been? Why does your jacket smells like that?"
 I rolled my eyes, "And yet you weren't complaining moments ago. As if you forget you were hugging me a while ago."
 I thought she would retort back just like always, but instead she just pouted. My heart pounded wildly at the cute gesture.
 I sighed trying to mask how she left me flustered. I sat on the bench and patted the space beside me, "Wanna talk about it?"
 She sighed and relented, sitting beside me, leaving minimal space between us. I gulped at her close proximity. A cold breeze past again, she shivered and started rubbing her arms. I took off my jacket and draped it on her.
 She halted and looked at me with wide eyes, before a soft smile painted her lips, "Thanks Bea." She mumbled softly.
 I tried so hard not to get affected, by that simple gesture, but my heart was already melting. I cleared my throat, changing the topic, "So... what happened to you?"
 She avoided eye contact, "Today, my parents finally introduced me as the heiress of my father's business." She looked at up at the cloudy dark sky. The rain was relentless and so does the cold breeze passing by once in a while. 
 "That's a good news right?"
 "It was," I saw a faint smile from her before it dropped, "Until my father started to be his usual self." She chuckled dryly. "I thought I can ignore his words just like I always do, but today was an important day for me. And I failed to impress him, again." 
 There was a pause I waited for her to continue. She inhaled deeply and sighed loudly, "You didn't improve Poppy. You're still a disappointment. That's what he said to me."
 When she looked at me again another batch of tears were streaming down her face. She had a broken smile, "That was bullshit. His business clients and partners were happy to meet me. I should have known he won't be impressed no matter what I did."
 I gulped thickly. I choked with my own emotions raging inside of me. I had never seen her, this broken.
 I smiled softly at her and lay my hand on hers, "I don't believe a single word he said. You always do your best. He's blind if he can't see that."
 "He probably is," She smiled softly albeit a little. "I should be really used by now with how he treats me, but I still get disappointed every damn time." 
 "You know what?" I squeezed her hand in mine, "Screw your dad! Let's do something fun instead." I grinned.
 She raised an eyebrow. An excited gleam in her eyes and a grin on her lips, "What's on your mind?" 
 I looked around us. I think it was twelve midnight already or way passed that, and the rain was still pouring. The train station and its surroundings were pretty much deserted.
 I stood up pulling Poppy with me. I grinned, "Care to dance with me?"
 She huffed out a laugh, "You've gone nuts!" 
 "Probably, but look around us. It's raining and there's no one else around. It's the perfect opportunity to enjoy the rain Poppy!" I exclaimed as the warmth and happiness that I had been missing for the past week came crushing on my insides.
 She laughed - a genuine and soft one. "I am probably going nuts too." She shook her head. Her eyes gleamed and a wide smile was on her lips, "Let's dance Bea!"
 She pulled me out of the shelter of the waiting area of the train station. My jacket falling from her shoulders as we run on the middle of the deserted street. The rain was pouring and it felt cold on my skin, but with Poppy in front of me, laughing and smiling - guiding me into a music free dance, I feel warm.
 She gasped as the rain hit her skin, "It's so cold!" She exclaimed, but the smile on her lips never faltered.
 She pulled me close wrapping her arms around my neck as our foreheads touched. I wrapped my arms around her waist as we swayed. I guess we didn't need music at all when the rain felt like it was serenading us. 
 She giggled as our nose touched. Our wide grins turned into soft smiles. Her breath tickled my lips as she sighed.
 "Bea..." She murmured. 
 It was like an enchantment, all I can hear was my heart screaming for her name. I closed the distance between us and kissed her. My breath hitched.  As if she was the oasis on my dessert. It gave me life. It filled up the cracks inside of me. Her lips moved - claiming me softly. Her hands caressed my nape raising goose bumps in their wake. 
 I gasped for air as I withdrew first, "Poppy..." I murmured.
 She pecked my lips, "Thank you Bea," And smiled brightly as her eyes gleamed.
 I grinned, "Glad to see that smile returns."
 "This was nice, but I think we both need to leave before we catch a cold." 
 We hailed a cab going back to Belvoire. My jacket was on Poppy's lap. We threw secretive glances towards each other once in a while. The smile on my lips never faltered and a comfortable silence wrapped us along with the murmurs of the radio inside the cab. It felt normal and I felt happy once again.
 As we get out from the cab, the first thing I saw was the Zeta house and just like that reality crashed my bubble of happiness. The smile on my lips dropped. The weight on my chest intensified. As the cab leave, I turned to Poppy she was looking at me with a soft smile.
 I pressed my lips into a thin line. She noticed my expression and the smile on her face dropped, "Oh..." She sighed before laughing dryly, "Of course." She bit her lip like she was stopping herself for spitting out more words. "I better go inside." Her voice was nonchalant as if her mask was back again. 
 "Yeah," I said curtly.
 She clenched her jaw, "Fine." She turned around abruptly and speed walk inside the Zeta House.
 Everything in me tensed - my hands, my jaws and my chest. I wanted to say more, but I bit my tongue. Tonight was the last time. I kept chanting those words on my mind as I watched her walking away from me.
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humangerbil · 4 years ago
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How goes your wonderful work Into the Shade? Last I heard it was giving you trouble, any updates as we enter the New Year? (also, do you have a tag for it here on tumblr?) It's such an engrossing read!
I do have the “Into the Shade” tag but I don’t use it much because I don’t talk about it much. I might ramble a bit about things giving me trouble when that happens but I don’t want to post spoilers for the plot line or anything. It might get used more if people ask more questions on here.
Short answer: I am currently in the process of editing all the existing chapters and working on the next one. I am editing the existing chapters because I don’t know what possessed me to write in present tense for much of it. I have gotten through chap 7 fixed up and almost done with chap 8. Nothing is changing plot-wise just wording fixes. I have several scenes and the basic outline for the next chapter done and have been working on it on and off when I can.
Long Answer: My full time job is half programming and half writing documentation. Unfortunately for everyone, I have been on full time documentation since November and likely will continue to be through this month and maybe next...or more. To make it even worse I am having to write instructional documentation for what I can only describe as idiots. I cannot assume they have any knowledge of computers at all. Simple tasks like “Create a new folder” are too advanced. Instead I have to write out in detail every step needed to create a folder, as well as the actually very complex things they must do. It is tedious and by the time I get off work the last thing I want to do is write, even fun things. When I do try I end up over detailing every little action, because of the head space I am. This does mean that editing has been easier to do because I get so detailed oriented. 
Also, I am in the middle of some home remodels. I bought bookshelves not planning to do anything else but well, finish moving into my house. Instead it has lead to replacing the carpet which has lead to painting the walls in half my house. Oops? New carpet gets put in on Monday so I need to finish painting this weekend! Fortunately I finished pulling up the old carpet last weekend. But that has taken up all my free time on the weekends.
There were also the holidays which I got pretty busy for. I didn’t go anywhere but I bake and I had a lot of cookies, fudge, and other treats to make and mail out to everyone. 
So, all around, life has been crazy. Progress is being made but slower than I would like. I will post the next chapter when it is done. I am at a kind of wobbly point in the story. I knew the majority of the events that were going to happen pre sports fest and I know the major plot points for future events but the in between bits are a bit of a work in progress. Once we get going into the next major plot point things should hopefully move along faster, depending on life and such. I also have large parts written of future events already. Writing in order is not really my forte it seems. 
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your-modern-shakespeare · 6 years ago
Text
A Little Too Real (11)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 4.5, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 7.5, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 10.5
Summary: RealityTV!AU- You are a wardrobe supervisor for a popular TV network. The show is planning a reality TV show like the bachelor and Bucky is the newest contestant. But as the competition starts he realizes that he doesn’t like any of the girls…on the show anyway.
Pairing: Bucky x Reader (eventual)
Word Count: 6100
A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful Fourth of July, I unfortunately am in the middle of a burn ban in Colorado which meant no fireworks for this Texas Gal. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this much awaited for chapter and I love you guys!
Warnings: google translate, fluff, angst, kissing, I honestly don’t know what else
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Y/N’S POV
Week 8
The weekend had come and gone just a quick as the week had. I spent most of my time indoors, talking to Bucky and going through things in the house, but I was in such a terrible mood that I couldn’t have been fun to hang around. And yet somehow he was still there. And God was he there.
It wasn’t that he was trying to do anything or make a play but he would do these things that would drive me absolutely crazy. He would always stand close to me, hold my hand, wrap me in his arms, you know, intimate comforting things.
But as life would have it, Monday came and with that came work.
“You should stay here.” Bucky tried to reason with me. He was standing in the doorway of the closet, shirtless, trying to pick something to wear. I was resting up against the headrest of the bed trying my hardest to convince Bucky and myself that I was good enough to go to work, that and staring at him.
After the funeral I had had so much going on, that it was easy to forget about everything that had happened between the two of us. So now having a bit of time to screw my head back on, the thing that was really bothering me now was the fact that Bucky and I hadn’t had the chance to talk about everything that had happened between us over the past couple of days. I wanted to tell him everything, I wanted to follow my dad’s advice and not wait to be with him. But even though I was in a better place than I had been it was as if there was still a hazy film on everything.
I didn’t want to start a relationship with Bucky when everything in my life had been so shaken up. And yet lately when was that not my life. 
So instead I just watched him, memorizing every part of him and letting him comfort me. And that was how my Monday started.
I was drawn back to reality when Bucky asked me some question, not getting a response from me.
“Y/N?” He asked this time, coming to sit beside me on the bed, now with a shirt on.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Are you okay?”
“I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.”
“Well if you’re going to come to work with me, you should probably get ready.”
“Yeah.”
So I got out of bed and got in the shower, not taking too much time but not really being in the mood to go fast. And Bucky was very patient with me because of it.
I got dressed in some of the only black clothes that I had left, knowing that I would need to conjure up the energy to do laundry, before Bucky helped me into my heavy winter coat and then out to the car, with all of my gifted food in tow. But for now, as we drove to the makeshift studio, we sat in silence listening to the foreign music on the radio and, I don’t know about him, but I was thinking about him and how I wish that instead of going to work, we were running away and that all of our feelings were known and that nothing was confusing. When in reality it was quite the opposite.
Bucky pulled into the lot where they told us we could park and we carried in as much food as we could, getting some help from some of our crew who had been in the parking lot. We dropped off the food at the tent where lunch would be served and then Bucky and I broke off.
He went to the makeup/hair trailer so that he could start getting ready and I moved about the set answering any questions I could and translating when needed.
I tried my hardest to stay positive, to keep my feelings in check, but as the day got later it became harder the longer I stayed away from Bucky. I don’t know, he just did something that always made me feel better and when I didn’t see him I didn’t feel better. Of course, It didn’t help that I kept thinking about him with these other girls and I tried my hardest not to be jealous, but I just couldn’t push that thought out of my mind
I couldn’t do normal things without thinking about him, I couldn’t even speak Russian sometimes without wondering how he said things or just wondering how it sounded coming from his lips. And then there were the hard moments when I couldn’t breath, sometimes from the pain and other times from the lack of him being close to me.
But the thing that bothered me the most was that this had always been us, the constant flirting and the erratically romantic thoughts, and yet it took us this long, it took me this long to think that maybe he felt the same too.
When it was time for lunch we met at the food tent and Bucky and I explained to everyone what foods we had brought, what was in them, what they were called, that sort of thing. Everyone seemed to love the food and it was great that I didn’t have to take any home with me later. Bucky and I were the last ones to eat and we grabbed our plates and went to eat in his trailer.
We were both sitting cross legged on the bed, facing each other, and eating our food...mostly in silence.
“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked me between bites.
“Sluggish, slow…” I looked up at him and he was sitting much closer to me than before, his face much closer...
“Yeah, I get that.”
“Does this feeling ever go away?”
“What feeling?” He said with a smirk on his face. I smiled back just briefly, enjoying the seconds long distraction.  
“The loss.” I responded after some time. “I was so young when I lost my mother that I honestly can’t remember how I got through losing her.”
“Well you also had a lot going on at that time. I’m sure the distraction helped.”
“Distraction…
“I could think of a few.”
“I’m sure you could.”
“I could show you.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea.”
And just having a moment of complete courage, I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me. His lips were familiar and wonderful, but a little chapped from the cold weather; I didn’t mind at all. He pushed our plates out of the way before he shifted, making me lie back against the pillows, and bringing himself to rest mostly on top of me. I moved my hands to his neck, letting my fingers run through his hair, ultimately pulling him closer to me, and his hands ran up and down my back, almost in a soothing manner but also in a way that drove me crazy.
We kissed until a knock came at the door.
“Мистер Барнс, они готовы к вам.” (Mr. Barnes, they’re ready for you.)
“Момент.” (Just a moment.) He called back. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“I know it doesn’t help much, but I really don’t want to go.”
“You have a show to finish.”
“With a bunch of girls I don’t like.”
“Then hurry up.” He smiled at me and leaned down to kiss me one more time before he climbed off the bed.
“I’m going to count down the minutes.”
“Time will pass by slower that way.”
“Fine.” He started walking to the door and right before he walked out, he turned and looked at me. “Hey, Y/N?”
“Yes Bucky?”
“Can I take you out on Friday?”
“Take me out…”
“On a date.”
“On a date?”
“I think it’s about time.” Now it was my turn to smile.
“Yes.” His smile came back too.
“Great, um...I should go, but I’ll see you later.” He turned to leave but looked back at me again.
“Yeah, you will.”
“I’ll work fast.” Again.
“You better get going then.” I reiterated.
“Yeah.” This time he did walk out and as soon as he did I collapsed back against the bed again with a huge smile on my face.
I sat in a bliss for a just a minute before all these wild thoughts started going through my head, I quickly became a nervous mess. And there were two people who I knew could steer me back straight.
PC: Hello?
WM: What the hell Y/N?
They both sounded very upset with me and groggy from it being almost 3am there.
YN: Sorry guys, I know it’s really early there but I need help.
PC: Is this about your dad?
YN: No…
WM: What could you possible be calling us about then?
YN: I...I have a date with Bucky
PC: WHAT?
WM: WHAT?
They both said at the same time, which was then followed by a huge freak out moment and lots of questions, most of which I couldn’t understand.
Y/N: Guys!
PC: Steve, says that he is so happy for you guys.
WM: We want details
YN: There aren’t any details, we were eating lunch in his trailer and then he got called back to set and right before he walked out he asked me out on a date
WM: And he said those words?
YN: He said those words
PC: It’s finally happening
YN: I know and I’ve liked him for a long time, so why am I so nervous?
WM: Everyone gets nervous on a first date
YN: But this certainly isn’t the first time of anything with him. I shouldn’t be nervous.
PC: This is where things start to get official. You’ve been friends with him for so long that transitioning into a relationship is going to be different and you’re going to need to figure out a lot of things.
YN: What if he gets in trouble for being with me?
PC: He can’t. I finished going through his contract and there’s nothing in there that says he has to end up with someone on the show.
YN: Really?
PC: Really.
YN: Have you told him?
PC: No but now I can just leave that to you. Just go up to him, give him a big kiss and tell him you love him.
YN: And tell him about the contract
PC: I’m sure you’ll get around to it.
WM: Hopefully now when you kiss him you’ll actually remember it.
YN: Well…
WM: Well what?
YN: Do you remember that day outside of my trailer, when I was really mad at him?
WM: Yes…
YN: We sort of kissed and that’s why he was so happy…
PC: WHAT?
WM: WHAT?
They both said at the same time again.
YN: And that’s not the only time we’ve kissed since then
PC: Then you have no reason to be nervous because you clearly have been seeing each other for some time
YN: Kissing and being in a relationship are two very different things
WM: Are they though?
PC: It’s too bad that you don’t have the dress I gave you there, that would knock his socks off and more pieces of clothing...I’d hope
YN: Well…
PC: You have it?!
YN: I was getting ready at Wanda’s house for you’re engagement party and I put a bunch of my travel items in my backpack so that I didn’t have to take all of my stuff with me to her apartment. When we got in the car later for her and Vision to drop me off at my apartment, I put your gift in the backpack so I didn’t have anything in my arms as I made my way up the stairs. Then I heard that my dad died I just grabbed all the clothes I could and my backpack, knowing I had all my travel stuff in there already...and the dress.
PC: I swear its fate
WM: It is pretty perfect
YN: But I shouldn’t wear that on the first date should I? I mean what if we don’t go anywhere that fancy?
PC: You’re wearing the dress. I��ll have Steve talk to him.
YN: You are simultaneously terrible and amazing
PC: I’m pretty sure I learned that in law school
We both laughed at her, I could even hear Steve laughing in the background.
YN: Well I’m sorry that I woke you guys up so early, but…
PC: I’m glad you called.
WM: Me too.
YN: Anyway, I always feel better after talking to you guys, no matter how crazy you are
PC: Just have a really good date with him
WM: And give us all the details after he leaves in the morning
YN: Like I said...crazy
PC: Love you, Y/N
WM: Love you too!
Y/N: I love you guys. I’ll talk to you later.
We all said goodbye at the same time and hung up soon after.
I didn’t stay in the trailer too much longer, there was work to do, but I was feeling much better than I was before. And so I went through the rest of the day in a haze, a peacefully happy haze. Honestly, I had spent so much time lately in such a poor mood, that is was a nice change to feel something different, something other than sadness. And now after spending time alone with Bucky and knowing that he didn’t have feelings for the other girls, despite not having told me what he felt for me, made me feel so much better.
So I went through the day in an okay kind of mood and later that night, after Bucky’s first date of the week, we went back to my house and cuddled on the couch, watching whatever TV show we could find that was remotely interesting and then ignoring it to do...other things. But then again it wasn’t hard to get distracted around Bucky.
It started with sitting very close to each other, my feet up on the arm of the couch, my head resting on his shoulder, and his arm wrapped around my waist. Then it turned into light touching, his fingers dancing up and down my arm and I traced the lines of the metal that made up his. Creeping closer and closer to each other, it didn’t take us long to get to kissing and without the interruptions this time...besides my brain, of course. I was the first one to pull away.
My forehead rested against his, our lips inches from each other and our breathing erratic, I finally decided to ask him about everything that was on my mind.
“Bucky?”
“Yes?”
“I have something I need to tell you.”
“Anything.” He moved back a bit so that he could look me in the eyes but held my face in his hands in a way that made me feel as if he was still just as close.
“I talked to Peggy today.”
“Yeah? What did she say?”
“She told me that she finished going through your contract.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“And?”
“There’s nothing there that says you have to choose someone on the show.”
“But you still look upset.” His hands moved down to grab my hands, his thumbs rubbing circles along my skin, his eyes never left mine.
“I’m not upset.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“You know me too well.”
“That’s not a bad thing.”
“We never had that talk.”
“No we didn’t.”
“Are we going to?”
“I want to.”
“But?”
“I was worried that you had too much going on. I didn’t want to pressure you about us when it seemed like everything around you was falling apart. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to be beside you, to help you pick up all the pieces.”
“It has been pretty crazy lately hasn’t it?”
“Yeah, but I don’t mind. I just want to do what’s best for you. When I talked to Steve and Peggy about their transition from friends to more-than-friends, they said that they started out by just going on a date and everything after that came to them with time. So I’m not saying that we shouldn’t talk but I think we shouldn’t feel pressured to figure everything out, especially before our first date. What’s important is that we’re together.”
“You always have the right things to say.”
“Believe me, the last thing I want to do is mess this up, so I figured the least I could do is try to figure out the best things to do.”
“You’re amazing.”
“You’ve made me want to be amazing.”
We didn’t stay awake too much longer after that. Once the episode that had been on had ended, we went up to his room and quickly fell asleep, not doing anything that would distract from getting the sleep we needed.
And then the following day was...another day. It was nice though to talk in a language that I never got to speak in and Bucky and I met up later for lunch, which was, again, a nice distraction from the day and the fact that he had another date to go on that night; I just tried not to think about it.
And when we made it to the end of filming for the day, we couldn’t have been more excited to go home...that is until we walked in.
We got out of the car and walked over to the front steps leading to the door, right where Asa was sitting.
“What do you want Asa?” I went up to the door and unlocked it, letting the three of us in out of the cold, despite my wanting to shut the door in Asa’s face.
“Well I want for you not to be mad at me, but as I can see that that won’t happen I have opted for trying to talk some sense into you.”
“Talk sense into me? You’re kidding right? Because from what you told me, I was the only who didn’t know that my father was dying and yet I’m the nonsensical one?”
“I was just doing what your father told me to do.”
“Yeah? Well did you think, just once, that maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was better for me to say goodbye, to see him one last time, to do anything other than what happened.”
“Of course! I knew that you would be mad, I knew that this was a possibility.”
“Then why did you do it?!”
“Because I didn’t want your last memory of your father to be anything like the last memory of your mother!”
“They—I—My mother—” I tried to take in a deep breath but the only thing that came out was a strangled sob. I tried to hold everything in but it made breathing harder and I tried my hardest to not think of her, to keep everything pushed down like before, but it didn’t work. “Can you leave please?”
“Y/N please, please, I know you’re upset with me. I know that I can’t fix this, but please don’t shut me out. You’re my family too.”
“And what happens when you’re gone?!” I could feel the tears in my eyes, the build up of countless drops waiting to fall.
“When I’m gone?”
I tried to find the words and yet I couldn’t do anything but stare at him.
“Y/N…” He walked over to me, cautiously placing a hand on my arm. “I know that what I do is risky and I know that I’m not your parents but I do love you as if you were my own.”
“They left me.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“You had your reason.”
“No, he had his reason. I should have told you.”  And with that the tension between the two of us completely disappeared, now creating a calm. But something was still bothering me.
“How will I know?”
“What?”
“How will I know you’re going to come back?”
“Everyday I fight to come back to you. I can’t make you promises because we don’t know the future but I can promise that I will always be with you. Just like I know that your mother and father will always be a part of you.”
“I just...I can’t lose anyone else.”
“I know.” He opened his arms for me and I took the few steps forward to embrace him. “I’m going to take care of you.”
“You need to take care of yourself.” I said as I pulled far enough away from him to give him a stern look.  
“Okay mom. Anyway, I’m going to leave you two for the night.” I looked back at Bucky who was sitting on the arm of the couch, watching our argument.
“You don’t have to leave. I know that I was upset before but you don’t need to pay for somewhere else to stay, there’s plenty of room here.”
“And ruin whatever it is you’re going to do. No, I may be a father figure in your life but I am in full support of whatever...this is.” He said gesturing to to the two of us.
“What?” I said, looking over at Bucky with a wild expression, not sure if we were telling anyone outside of our friend group or not.
“I saw you two at the funeral.”
“Oh.”
“You guys are good together.”
“Thanks?”
“Okay. I’m turning dad mode off for the night. I will see you two later.”
“Yep.” He walked around me and over to the door, before he turned back.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well you shoot people for a living so I think the bar is pretty low.”
A look of complete shock crossed his face and then he began to laugh.
“Sassy, I like it. But I’m going to go now before I see anymore.” This time he did walk out the door and I turned and looked at Bucky.
“Well that was something.” I said.
“But you made up, so that’s good.”
“Yeah.” He reached out for me and I went to stand in front of him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on top of his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight to him, giving me comfort that I didn’t know I needed.
“You ready for bed?”
“Very.”
We went upstairs and got dressed for bed, not really talking to each other and yet the silence wasn’t awkward or weird. Once we were dressed we climbed into bed and laid facing each other, letting sleep eventually take us away from the day.
.
The next morning would prove to be difficult, not only because it was way too early but also because I knew that I needed to visit my dad’s lawyer. Ever since the funeral I had been trying so hard to push down all of the feelings that I had about him and about losing him, but with today solely being about his legacy, it was hard not to think of him.
I woke up before Bucky did and I snuggled even closer to him, trying first to go back to sleep but in the end just laying with him. But with time, sleep did almost come, that was until I felt Bucky’s lips on my forehead and those lips moving down my cheek to my neck…
I, now being fully aware of him, put his face in my hands and brought his lips up to mine. Without breaking the kiss he moved on top of me, pinning me underneath him. I moved my hands down his back to the edge of his shirt, moving to take it off of him...
He pulled away first, not giving us a chance to get too much further than we already had, and stopping whatever could have happened.
“As much as I would love to continue this, I believe we have somewhere to be.”
“Do we though?” I asked.
“Unfortunately.”
“Wouldn’t you rather stay here?” I reached up, giving him a kiss, and pulling him back down to me. He indulged me for a moment but pulled away again.
“You are going to be the death of me.” He rolled off of me but stayed close beside me. I rolled over to my stomach so that I could look at him.
“Stay here with me.”
“I wish I could...you can’t skip out on your dad’s lawyer.” I sighed, knowing that he was right but it was always going to be a lot easier to ignore your problems, which was a strong mood for the morning. “Believe me, I know how hard it is to want to finalize something like this, you know it’s kind of like a last goodbye which is hard. But you also need to trust me when I tell you that the closure that you get from doing this will really help.”
“Did it help you?”
“Yeah it did.” I sighed again.
“Okay.” I groaned, rolling over until I reached the edge of the bed and climbed out, making my way to the bathroom as best as I could.
I quickly took a shower and got ready for the day, getting dressed in something relatively casual, and yet still way dressier than usual. I walked out of the bathroom to look for Bucky but he wasn’t in the room. So I made my way downstairs as best as I could with my leg, finding him in the kitchen, rifling through my fridge
“What are you doing?” I asked, pulling him out of whatever he was doing. He turned back to look at me with a smile on his face.
“I was going to make you breakfast.”
“Well I’m ready to go, so you need to go get ready and I will make breakfast.”
“You’re going to make me breakfast?”
“I am.”
“Okay, then I’m going to go get ready.”
“Okay.” He went back upstairs to get ready and I grabbed the ingredients for Картофельные Блины с Мясом or Potato Pancakes with Meat. It had been my dad’s favorite meal, one that my mom always made for him and ingredients he always had in the kitchen.
At some point in my cooking, Bucky made his way back downstairs and leaned against the counter watching me.
“So what are you making?”
“I’m sure you could guess.” He moved to stand behind me, peering over my shoulder. He looked into the pan and smiled.
“Potato pancakes...with the meat filling.”
“You are correct.”
“It’s been a long time since I have had anything this good.”
“You haven’t even tasted them yet.”
“It’s your cooking, it’s got to be good.”
I quickly finished the pancakes and placed some butter on the table. We sat down across from each other and forked a couple of pancakes onto our plates. He took his first bite and I couldn’t help but smile.
“These are absolutely amazing.”
“Thank you, it’s my mom’s recipe.”
“I need you to make me these for the rest of my life.”
“Yeah, I’ll get on that.” I smiled and looked back down at my food.
We both finished our food and did whatever we needed to do before heading out. Bucky drove us into the heart of the city, parking in the lot in front of a very nice building. He turned off the car and climbed out, coming around to open my door for me, but before I climbed out I took a deep breath and then placed my hand in his. He didn’t let go of my hand, even after I was out of the car, giving me a great comfort as we walked into the building.
When we got into the lobby we followed the signs up to A. Petrov’s office suite and took a seat in the waiting room. This place, like the building, was very sophisticated and everything like what a TV lawyers waiting room would look like. What my dad had done to afford a guy like this was beyond me.
I messed with the hem of my skirt as we waited and after awhile of doing that, Bucky grabbed my hand and placed it in his, hoping to calm my nerves. But it must have felt like forever before the man I was supposed to be meeting with, left his office with a very rich looking woman following behind him. He looked over at us and seemed to know exactly who I was.
He turned to us as soon as the woman was out the door.
“Ты говоришь по-английски, не так ли?” (You Speak English, Don’t You?) He asked.
“Yes, we both Speak English and Russian, so whatever you would prefer to use…” I responded.
“I prefer English.” He said, despite his thick Russian accent. “So come on in and we’ll get right to it.” He gestured to his door and we both followed him in, sitting in front of him. “First of all I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. “
“Thank you.”
“Your father was a great man.”
“Yeah.”
“And he definitely made sure you would be taken care of.”
“He did? I never thought...I didn’t think he had any money.”
“No your parents didn’t have a lot of money but they both had life insurance policies.”
“Both of them?”
“Right. Your mother left everything to your father and he only ever used the money to pay for your school and anything you needed. So there’s quite a bit left from that policy and then your dad’s.”
“Okay.”
“So I have some legal things to go over with you and then we can discuss what exactly was left to you.”
“Okay.”
So he spent a lot of time going over everything with me, explaining why the sum of what was left to me was significantly less than what was put in the will, all the tax stuff that I had no idea about, and then finally all the info about my parents medical bills. It was a lot to take in and there was a lot of information being thrown around.
“Does that make sense?”
“More than I thought it would.”
“Good so now for the fun part of all of this.”
“Fun part?”
“I knew your parents very well, they were the happiest couple I had ever met. I know that you may not remember much about them, but I think it’s important to remember them in that way in this tough time.”
“Thank you.”
“So, despite all of the money that we just talked about you not having, both policies will leave you with a little over $25 million.”
“Million?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
I was in complete shock, I wasn’t even sure I was breathing. My jaw was on the floor and I’m pretty sure I had squeezed the life out of Bucky’s hand.
“What I think she’s trying to circle around to is how did their policies become worth that much?” Bucky asked.
“Y/N? Are you with me?” He asked before continuing. I just nodded my head.
“Well, as you probably know, your grandfather ran a multimillion dollar company. In his original will, one that he had made when he was younger and more tolerable of your grandmother, he left everything to her. But in his most recently updated will he left everything to your mother, and yet with your mother’s passing, everything was left to your father, which your grandfather didn’t contest; with the understanding that it would go to you in the future. But your grandmother wasn’t aware of being cut out of his will or the fact that she got nothing when he died. So she used the original will to fool everyone into thinking that the money was rightfully hers, which, of course, came to light when she got arrested. The detective on the case, Detective Vanhoose, needed to arrest her on a big enough charge to officially authorize the investigation into her accounts. So when they froze everything they found out that the money actually belonged to your father and his will left everything to you.”
“But if he didn’t have access to those accounts until right before he died, how did he afford all the bills he paid for me? It sounds like they both had no idea that my grandfather ever left them that money.”
“Your mother still had a life insurance policy, it covered your schooling.”
“So now I just have...$25 million?”
“Your father spent a lot of time with Detective Vanhoose trying to figure out the best way to correct what your grandmother did. He wanted to make sure that you were taken care of.”
I covered my face in my hands just trying my best to wrap my head around the fact that I was a millionaire now.
“I know you need some time to process this all, so I’m going to give you a copy of your father’s will and the paperwork you need to sign to have the funds released to you. Take your time and read over it and come back when you’re ready to sign. I’ve been speaking with the detective and there are a few things that the NYPD need to do to release the funds after they receive your paperwork so it may be awhile until you see anything but we’re here to help you out and we’re going to try and get it to you as soon as possible.”
I just nodded. He handed me a big stack of papers in a folder and just as he did for the woman he had talked to before us, he walked us out of his office, giving us a sincere farewell before scooping up his next client and disappearing into his office once again.
Bucky and I rode back down to the lobby in silence, walked through to the parking lot in silence and climbed in the car...in silence. He didn’t start the car right away but I hadn’t noticed until he said the first thing in well over five minutes.
“So on Friday you’re going to buy me dinner right?” He asked, trying his hardest not to laugh but easily making both of us laugh out loud. I was crying by the end, using this different emotion to get out all this pent up stress. When we both recovered ourselves we looked at each other with smiles on our faces.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“Are you really going to make me pay for our date?”
“Of course not! I never make a woman pay for a date but especially not you.”
“Well that’s good, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t after me for my fortune.”
“Yeah that’s all I’ve been after.”
“I knew it.” He laughed at me briefly before he turned on the car and started on his way to work for the day.
He had one more date that night and then a short filming tomorrow to wrap up the episode, giving the crew Friday and Saturday for packing up supplies and traveling back to LA. I wasn’t exactly sure when Bucky was flying back and honestly I didn’t know if I was going back any time soon. I’ve had multiple people tell me to take the time off, to heal, to recover and to deal with legalities. But the thought of being away from LA, from being away from my LA family, no matter how makeshift they were, and of course, from being away from Bucky, made me feel just as bad as I did here. There was a lot to figure out and not a lot of time to do it in.
So as Bucky filmed I distracted myself with reading the paperwork and doing research on the things I didn’t understand. And at some point after filming Bucky came and stole me away from it all, returning me home for the night.
As we layed in bed later I sat there thinking of everything. But as I looked over at Bucky, already fast asleep, I couldn’t help but think about how lucky I was. The fortune I had come into couldn’t measure up to the love that I felt for this man and with that comforting thought, and for the first time all day without a confused thought, I fell asleep wrapped up in the only person who made me feel like the richest person alive. 
.
PART ELEVEN POINTE FIVE 
Tell Me What You Think Here
Tags: @fangirl1802, @seargantbcky, @lust-for-pan, @38leticia, @barnes-and-noble-girl, @karipaleta, @capandbuck, @camillechan, @findacauseandserveit, @audasia25, @kendallefire , @alicerozenju, @snuggleducky, @mell-bell, @lifeasabookbutterfly, @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi, @iamwarrenspeace, @ssweet-empowerment, @chook007 , @juliagolia87, @jjsoccer11, @smol-flower-kiddo, @mrsdaamneron, @isaxhorror, @barnesism, @thatgirlrowan, @linki-locks11, @janeyboo, @vgurl18, @guera31, @bornfortherainydays, @carryonmy-assbutt, 
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ecofinisher · 4 years ago
Text
¡Vamos a España! - Chap 6
Chapter 6
https://archiveofourown.org/works/29442912/chapters/73041987
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13819897/6/Vamos-a-Espa%C3%B1a
https://www.wattpad.com/1031883260-%C2%A1vamos-a-espa%C3%B1a-chapter-6
Two evenings later Kai sat in front of the dinner table drawing on a canvas a black and white bird on top of a branch with several leaves on it.
Across the dining table sat Gerda writing on a sheet of paper a text, then she placed her pencil under her lips to ponder about what else she could write on the letter.
„I‘m almost done with the drawing, Gerda. How far are you with the letter? Questioned the brother watching his sister put her pencil down.
„This is what I wrote so far…..Dear Rollan. How is the flight going? I hope it‘s going well. Look Orm just passed a few days ago by our house asking for Arrog‘s sons and we assumed they might have gotten into your zeppelin too. If they‘re really around can you confirm this and make sure they‘re okay until Alfida or Orm gets the chance to follow you? Thank you in advance and take good care of yourself. Make sure Luta gets to eat and drink too. Bread would be ideal for her as long as you have it available,“
„That sounds about right. Short, informal, and not so corny,“ Kai answered making Gerda laugh, then she watched Kai drop his pencil and from his canvas, the swift came back to life and flew above the room making Kai and Gerda happy.
„This is really amazing, Kai,“ Gerda complimented watching Kai lift up his pencil, so the swift would land on it and Kai patted the bird under his beak.
„What do you think should we name this guy?“ Kai questioned watching his sister shrug his shoulder.
„Onyx?“ Gerda suggested making Kai shake his head.
„I thought on something else like…...Branch or, or Leaf…..,“
„I like the name Leaf,“ Gerda commented earning a nod from Kai, then Gerda watched Kai place the bird on the table and took a thread he had on the table and waited for Gerda, which signed her letter and handed it back to Kai, which took a look at it again.
„What‘s with all those X‘s in the end?“ Kai asked rolling the letter together, then attached it onto the bird‘s leg.
„That means kiss,“ Gerda responded with a chuckle. „Did you not know that?“
„No, but is that what Alfida also meant the last times on the letters she wrote for me?“ The younger brother asked earning a nod from the sister. „Oh…..,“
„It‘s fine, not everybody uses it thought,“ Gerda confessed walking toward the window, which she opened, then observed Kai approach the open gap and he held the bird on the outside.
„Leaf, make sure you give this letter to Rollan, alright?“ Kai told the bird, which tilted his head at the boy‘s command.
„I don‘t think Leaf knows how Rollan looks like,“ Gerda pointed out, then Kai looked around to see if he could find any picture of the Spaniard.
„You‘ve got something of him, don‘t you?“ Kai asked earning a nod from Gerda.
„Wait I‘ve given it to Rollan, but I have another one, which you painted for me,“ Gerda explained running out of the dinning room, therefore she came back with a small canvas which had Rollan painted on it along with Gerda, then the girl showed the picture to the bird.
„That boy there, that‘s the one you need to bring the picture to,“ Kai explained watching the bird blink during the explanation of the boy. „Can you do this for us?“ Kai asked, then saw the bird take off and fly towards the outside of the kingdom, then the siblings exchanged looks with each other.
„Well, he‘s going in the right direction. Hopefully, this works,“ Said the blonde earning a nod from the younger boy.
Gerda looked down at the ground and smiled, then nudged Kai on the elbow and pointed down at the road to see Alfida stand there looking at the siblings.
„Hey,“ Greeted the raven-haired girl. „Was that your messenger bird?“
„Yeah. Did you like it?“ Kai asked earning a nod from the girl. „Great,“
„You ready to go out?“ Alfida asked earning a nod from Kai, which walked off to the exit and picked up his jacket to leave, then he looked at Gerda, which was picking up her writing utensils, then Kai walked back to his sister.
„Gerda, come join me and Alfida,“ Kai offered. „You don‘t have to be alone here,“
„Oh, I‘m not alone. Mom and dad will soon be here,“ Gerda responded. „Come you also need to spend lone time with Alfida. She will only be here for you this weekend,“
„Are you sure? I know Alfida won‘t mind having you around. She‘s your best friend, after all,“
„Yes I know that, but I feel like I would just feel like a third wheel around you two,“
„I think we can prevent this to happen,“
„I know you would want to do that, but you can leave me out for today. I will be fine,“ Gerda confirmed making Kai look neutral at the girl. „After all, I had yesterday a great day with Alfida, now it‘s your turn,“
„Alright, but if you change your mind, just pass by,“ Kai said making his sister smile, then both siblings shared a hug. Afterward, Kai left the house and Gerda crossed the room back to the window to observe Kai join Alfida, which walked along with him the road up into the center of the town.
Rollan stood in the middle of the corridor looking at a map, that was attached to a wall along with a few passengers. The map had shown Europe on it and a red yarn thread was attached to the middle of Russia and the end of the thread was wrapped up at the edge of Germany, which was the current location the pilots had tagged a while ago. Rollan walked away from the map, then made his way back into the bedroom to encounter the triplets on the bed with Luta, which showed the triplets a book with images. Rollan leaned on the arc of the door to look at the images from the book, then pondered about what he could do with the triplets. Rollan got into the room, then sat down on the bed to look at the triplets, then the youngest triplet looked up at the Spaniard and gave him a smile.
„What about we all do something together? Rollan asked watching the cubs nod. „I‘ve took this afternoon from the indoor library this card game here. I know at least two games we could easily play together,“ Rollan took from the inside of his backpack an old deck of cards, then mixed it up and gave each of the cub four cards. Rollan placed the last deck on the middle of the bed, then sat with his legs crossed on the ground and looked at the cubs, which were looking at their cards.
„Okay let‘s play a very easy game. Each of you places a card in the middle of the….bed. The player which places the highest number wins. We also have four different letters inside the pile. A, Q, K, and J.  A is the highest card in the game, K, Q, and J come later,“ Rollan explained watching the cubs look at each other unsure about the game, then Luta picked up four cards and sat down vice versa to the Spaniard and placed down a black leaf symbol with the number 2. Luta squeaked earning a nod from two cubs, which sat to the left side if her, then watched the youngest cub place down a black-colored card with the same symbol but a higher number. The light-brown cub rolled his eyes at Rollan, which looked at the older siblings, then watched the red-brownish cub hand out the next card which was the number 7.“
„Very good,“ Rollan complimented watching the last cub add the letter J on it, then applauded. Rollan placed his hands on the bed, then waited for the cubs to look at him and he showed them all the cards, that were put on the bed. „So per coincidence you just have placed the number 7 here. 7 is also one of the highest numbers in the game. It beats J, Q, and K. It‘s actually the second highest one. The correct order is A, 7, K, Q, and J,“ Spoke Rollan earning a nod from the older cubs. „This now means as you placed card no. 7 you scored one point for yourself and you can keep these here with you,“
Rollan shoves the cards to the red-brown cub, earning a smile from the troll, then Rollan shove from the deck a new card to each player and watched Luta place the next card, which was a 2 with a square, then Luta watched along with Rollan the younger troll place a Q, making Rollan nod impressed by the troll‘s move making the troll smile, then the followed cards were a black heart with the number 6 and a red heart with the 2.
„See and now who do you think won this move? Rollan asked, then all looked at the light-brown cub, which chuckled and Rollan shove toward the cub the four played moves to the male. „Now take each of you another card from the pile,“ Rollan asked watching all take a card from the pile, then Rollan took for himself four and waited for Luta to place a card.
Gerda and Kai accompanied Alfida through a road inside the kingdom, which was empty from any citizens.
„It‘s pretty quiet here,“ Kai mentioned. „The most places here are closed at this time,“
„Which is a good thing,“ Alfida commented. „This means we will have it quiet,“
„What were you planning to do along with Kai?“ Gerda asked curiously, then Kai shrugged.
„I actually don‘t know it either. She told me she would say it on the spot,“
„Don‘t worry, you‘ll soon see it,“ Alfida promised. „On that crossroad, you move to the right and follow the dirt track to the farm of Mr. Bega‘s farm,“
„Okay,“ Kai answered following the girlfriend‘s instructions. Gerda, which went beside the girl with the ponytail.
„Are we going to see animals?“ Gerda questioned making Alfida nod.
„More or less. Just wait for it,“
„What animals are we going to see, if we can ask?“ Kai asked watching Alfida think about answering the boy.
„Try to guess it,“
„Hmm is it a cow?“ Questioned Kai making the girlfriend shake her head. „What about a horse?“
„That went fast,“ Alfida responded making Kai raise his fist in victory. „But I won‘t tell you what we‘re going to do with them,“
„I hope it‘s nothing bad,“ Gerda stated neutral, then Alfida chuckled at Gerda‘s comment.
„Boomer, you ruined my surprise,“ Alfida commented making Gerda shut her eyes up in shock, causing Alfida to snort at her friend‘s reaction. „Oh Gerda you had to see your face right now, did you really think I would invite you to that? I‘m more likely to invite you to eat pig or chicken,“
„I should have known that,“
„Hehe,“
The trio got closer to the farm, then encountered a crowd of young people and teenagers together in a group laughing as they stood around a table drinking home-brewed liquid.
„You brought us to a feast?“ Gerda asked watching Alfida approach the table towards a brunette, a redhead, and a raven-haired boy.
„Hey guys, meet Gerda and Kai,“ Alfida introduced the siblings to the teens around her size. „The ones I talked to you about,“ „The Gerda and Kai, that defeated the Snow Queen a long while ago?“ The redhead asked earning a nod from the pirate girl.
„Yeah. Gerda, Kai. Those here are Niko, Timofey, and Maxim,“ Alfida introduced. „They‘re from the other side of the kingdom,“
„Nice to meet you,“ Gerda politely replied giving all the guys her hand along with Kai and the raven-haired boy pecked Gerda on her hand making her feel embarrassed. „Uh….what are you doing?“
„I just want to say I feel honored to meet such a stunning girl here. If the circumstances allow, I‘d like to ask you out for dinner or something else,“ The boy said watching Gerda take her hand down.
„I think I have to pass. I already have a boyfriend,“
„Oh too bad,“ The boy responded, then got hit on his back by the brunette boy, which laughed at his friend‘s rejection.
„Tim, did you really think she would just say yes like that?“
„Why not? Asked Timofey making Gerda roll her eyes and look at Kai, which shrugged his shoulders.
„Better ignore that,“ Alfida commented, then major of the guests stood aside, and around the table appeared a half-Asian descendant farmer, which waved at the guests that were present at his farm.
„Good evening my friends. As I see, there are a few new faces under us,“ The man spoke. „Who‘s here for the first time?“ Mr. Bega asked watching Gerda raise her hand up along with Kai and six other citizens. „Wow, that‘s quite a lot. Look I pick a few familiar faces of you and lead you into my shrine to introduce you the horses,“ Mr. Bega said walking off, then the group followed the man, which opened the door of the barn and led them to the end of the place to the right side, which contained about six stalls and each of one had a horse in it standing.
„There you go. Some of my frequenters already know them and gave them a name like for example Alexei‘s horse here Plague,“ The man introduced the raven-colored horse to the group.
„I saw a black horse before,“ Kai whispered to Gerda, which nodded. Gerda looked at the other horses and at the fifth stall she spotted a light-brown horse with a dark-blonde mane which made Gerda smile enchanted at the looks of the animal, then she moved Alfida on the elbow to imply at that mare and Alfida smiled at Gerda‘s interest on the horse.
„That‘s Lada,“ Alfida introduced. „She‘s the one horse I take on a ride often,“
„I didn‘t know you could ride a horse,“ Gerda commented making Alfida laugh.
„Every pirate knows how to ride one. At least should,“ Explained the raven-haired girl, then moved further to the mare‘s stall and Alfida opened the door back to get into the stall to lean her hand on the face of the horse to pat it. Gerda watched the girl caress the horse, then Alfida gazed at the girl and held out her hand. Gerda looked at Alfida, then placed her hand on her friends and Alfida placed the hand on Lada‘s face carefully making Gerda smile amazed at, as she saw the horse close her eyes to enjoy the girls giving attention.
„She‘s adorable,“ Gerda commented making Alfida smile.
 Later on, Gerda accompanied Alfida and her horse out of the barn following two other horses, which were escorted by a person.
„You know a second person can get on top of my horse. Would you be interested to come on top of it with me or do you prefer to give Kai a chance?“ Alfida asked, then Gerda looked at Kai, which walked beside two boys, which were talking with him.
„Kai could go first,“ Gerda pointed out earning a nod from Alfida, then a boy with dark hair passed beside Alfida, passing his hand on the girl‘s shoulder.
„Hey, you owe me a rematch, remember?“ The boy asked making Alfida smirk. „Ready to lose?“
„The question is if you are ready,“ Alfida responded crossing her arms making the boy chuckle.
„You haven‘t changed I see,“ The boy commented earning a nod from the raven-haired girl, then the group went on a road, which led to the town and farmer Bega sprinted in front of the citizens with a rope and unfolded it on the ground making a line, so each person with the horse stood behind it and climbed up on the horse including Alfida, which looked down to see Kai walk toward Lada, then watched Alfida held her hand down at the boyfriend, which looked up at her.
„Where are we going?“ Kai asked, then Alfida just grabbed his hand and tried to pull him up, then Gerda assisted her brother in helping him up on the saddle afterward he wrapped his arms around Alfida‘s and lied his chin over his girlfriend‘s shoulder making her smirk.
„All comfy?“ Teased the pirate girl raising her left eyebrow seeing the boyfriend shrug his shoulders.
„For now on I‘m good. Where are we going?“ Gerda‘s brother asked watching the farmer look at the riders, which had gotten on their horse including Alifda and another young man, which had a guest on their horse.
„Okay fellas. You start right here and ran down into the town, far away on the crossroad to the sewing atelier you turn left heading to the roundabout, and take the third road heading to the shoemaker shop, then turn right and go to the left after passing the pastry home. You reach the road of the fire department and follow the curve, then make sure you follow the dirt track right up here to the farm and pass through this marking again. The first one to arrive wins,“ The farmer explained, then walked up to the first rider and opened his head. „Hand me out your bets and the winner gets it all,“ Mr. Bega announced watching the first rider take from his pants out a few bills to give it to the man, then moved on to the next rider.
Alfida opened the side pocket of hers to take out a few cash bills, then she glanced back at Kai, which observed the others giving the man the money and he gazed normally at Alfida.
„Want to hand out some money?“ Alfida asked.
„I don‘t have money right now,“
„Wow Gerda, does Kai really go like that on dates?“ Alfida asked making Gerda chuckle, while Kai shook his head at the girlfriend‘s comment. Alfida gave her money to the farmer, which passed by, and observed the man accept the last two bets of the last two stallions therefore he got to the side of the rope and counted the money together. The guests walked all away from the horses along with Gerda, which gave Alfida and Kai two thumbs up making Alfida smile along with Kai, which grinned more unsure about the ride.
„Ready?“ Asked the farmer holding his hand up in the air watching all riders look at the man, then the man swung down his arm to announce the start of the race. „Go!“ Shouted Mr. Bega watching all on the horse pull on the leash causing the horses to depart and race into the town with the people standing behind cheering for them. Gerda watched excited the horses go down the road entering into the town, where she soon saw them disappearing and only noticed the heads of the riders look like points on the road.
Down at the road, Alfida was in second place following a brown horse which was the one the boy Alex sat on to participate alone, then he looked back and smirked amused to see the pirate girl losing against him.
„Don‘t worry Alex, this is just the beginning,“ Alfida commented, then she began to feel Kai cling tighter on her making her grin cheekily at his deed, then looked further on the road to see Alex take a turn on the first left curve, then Alfida rolled her eyes back at her boyfriend.
„Hold on tight, I‘m about to try my first maneuver,“ Alfida warned feeling her boyfriend clutch tighter around the waist, then Alfida whipped with her guiding leash on her horse, so she would get faster to approach Alex‘s horse and meet it at the end of their first curve. „Great job, girl!“ Alfida complimented and focused on the leading teenager, which made it to pass beside the roundabout, which had a displayed robot hand doing the peace sign. Alfida guided her horse through the opposite direction to get quicker to the third exit to follow Alex, which Alfida now got closer to.
Alfida reached along with her horse the next right curve, then followed the avenue down where they encountered the stop for the carriage rides. As Alfida continued to follow the leading racer, she noticed a white horse beside her try to pass to her front, then Alfida looked along with the boyfriend at the two riders, which were also a man and a woman.
„Do people often come for a ride like this?“ Kai asked the girlfriend, which shook her head.
„About one to three times a week,“ Responded the raven-haired girl. „“It‘s a good alternative way to earn some money,“
„But isn‘t that illegal?“ Questioned Kai making Alfida laugh.
„You‘re aware, that your girlfriend is a descendant of pirates, right?“
The horses arrived the next turn, which led to the road of the fire department, continuing on the main road and the last two horses entered into the side road, which led to the parking zone of the fire brigade and slowed down noticing, that on the outside stood a large carriage with a wrapped up hose and a pump, which was being washed by a few firemen.
The leading three got to reach the end of the road, then moved to the next short street which was the one Alfida has passed by along with her friends.
„We‘re almost at the end,“ Kai warned. „We‘re not going to make it,“ Kai told making Alfida smirk at Kai‘s adjustment, then guided the horse towards the side of the road and observed Alex which was focused on the current place he was, thereafter Alfida moved her leash to make her mare speed up a little and guided her up on the sidewalk, then at the curve, she took the lead shrieking the teenage boy.
„Whoa!“ Alex shouted making Alfida chuckle along with her boyfriend, which now went the road up to get to the finish line.
Up at the finish line, all watched Alfida along with Kai on Lada‘s back racing up the road and began to applaud seeing Alfida reach the end, then she raised up her hand in victory while Kai sat on the horse embarassed at the amount of attention. Alfida pulled on the leash to command Lada to get up on her hind legs and swing her hand around, then shrieked as she watched Kai fall down on the ground, afterward Gerda pulled him away along with another guest and noticed Lada get down again normally without getting closer to Kai.
„Sorry Kai, I thought you would remain behind me,“ Apologized the pirate girl watching Kai get up with the help of his sister.
„That was an amazing race,“ Gerda complimented. „You need to take me out on the next race,“
„Sure, make sure you got the next weekend time and I promise you a ride,“ Alfida promised making Gerda smile, then Mr. Bega showed up to shake her hand, then gave her the money the riders used to bet and the raven-haired girl accepted it and counted it in front of Gerda. „200 Dinar. Not bad, right?“ The girl asked earning a nod of Gerda, then she patted the mare on the face and major of the viewers got around Alfida applauding to her success.
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ramennoodlesandnarusasu · 7 years ago
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A kiss never forgotten
*Chap 1: A drunken night*
*Chap 2: A blurred night*
*Chap 3: The bath house*
*Chap 4: A Thousand pieces*
*Chap 5: Heart beat*
*Chap 6: Surprise*
*Chap 7: Sunsets, trees and you*
*Chap 8: What now?*
*Chap 9: Healing the unfixable*
*Chap 10: So, this is it?*
*Chap 11: What now?*
*Chap 12: Kids and kisses*
*Chap 13: Its time*
*Chap 14: Tears*
*Chap 15: Somethings different?*
*Chap 16: Its time*
*Chap 17: At peace*
Chap 18: Pancakes, kids and headaches
Naruto opened his eyes to a bright room, sun beaming in from the windows, birds chirping loudly, echoing into his head and making it spiral continuously. He grunted out of the bed, feeling like the walls were slowly rippling backwards and forwards like the gentle waves of the sea. His skin felt numb and his stomach churned in agony from the accumulated alcohol. Naruto felt a hot burning sensation raise up in his gut, he was about to run to the bathroom before he was locked down in place.
The room seemed to quite everything slowing coming into focus as his breath and body calmed underneath porcelain arms which cradled his shaky body.
“Good morning.”
Naruto closed his eyes and smiled, he tilted his head down and kissed the hands beneath him, thanking them for stabilizing him.
“Good morning teme.”
Naruto felt hot kisses on the back of his neck which melted onto his skin like honey, soothing his muscles, calming his spinning brain.
“Do you also feel like shit?” Naruto asked in a quiet voice.
“Yep, but I think I'll be okay if we just stay like this.”
Naruto chuckled lightly whilst slowly brushing his fingers on Sasuke’s forearm. He felt Sasuke rest his head on Naruto’s bare back, slowly releasing hot breathes onto Naruto’s lower back making his skin shimmer and tingle in joy.
“Stop breathing on my back, it tickles.”
“Tch, do you want me to die? I kind of need to breath to live.”
Naruto laughed loudly, “no baka, if you die so do I. And I have no intention of dying anytime soon, seeming as I just got you.”
“I think it is I, that finally got you.”
Naruto looked down at the floor, smiling widely, wondering how this simple act of endearment from his boyfriend could make it feel so happy, so sober, so awake?
“I can see you smiling.”
Naruto turned the smile into a fake pout, “no you didn’t.” Naruto turned around and pushed Sasuke down on the bed in protest.
“No! Naruto, I’m too drunk for this, I will literally barf on your face.”
Naruto proceeded to jump on top of a struggling Sasuke, he tickled all his weak spots and watched him wriggle underneath him, laughing at each new spot Naruto attempted to attack.
“Stop! Naruto, I will hurt you.”
Naruto stuck out his tongue at Sasuke in protest, he looked at him with all the love in the world. This man, this perfect man was his everything and he was so lucky to have him, be with him and love him.
-
Sasuke looked at Naruto, feeling his heartbeat against his chest furiously, attempting to escape into Naruto’s body. He looked up at this gorgeous man who’s golden hair dangled messily over his face and bright blue eyes, his smile so beautiful and loving, his sun kissed skin and tiny freckles making up this man who looked like an angel with the sun shining brightly behind him and illumination him against the rest of the world.
-
“Hey Sasuke?”
Sasuke’s deep black eyes stared into bright blue eyes, looking nearly hypnotized, “hm?”
“I love you.”
Sasuke looked away shyly, his cheeks flushing a soft pink, “I love you more.” He started to smile softly, hot liquid slowly accumulating in the rear edges of his eyes.
Naruto bent down and laid soft kisses on the tears that escaped Sasuke’s eyes.
“You are beautiful Sasuke, you know that?”
Sasuke gulped down on the hot ball of saliva that was accumulating in his thought, his rib cage hurt from containing his heart which no longer was beating but bashing on its edges to let it out, his lungs also felt hot and heavy, filling with something he wasn’t used too.
“Naruto, I will punch you if you continue.”
Naruto chuckled lightly whilst laying several more kisses around Sasuke's neck, “fine, only because I’m super hungry and want to get breakfast.”
Naruto jumped off Sasuke and rolled out of bed whilst nearing falling over due to the fact that he forgot he was still a tad hung over.
-
Sasuke looked at his boyfriend struggling to recover from his near fall onto the ground and realised he was in trouble. He never expected to feel like this, so hopefully in love that he couldn’t even hide his feelings anymore. He was Sasuke Uchiha for God’s sake, he doesn’t do the sappy kind of love, then why? Why was this man so infectious, why couldn’t he hide the way he felt like he did everything else? Why is it that the mere thought of him leaving, dyeing or breaking up with him makes him feel so queasy? Why is it that he no longer cared about his own life, but only his? He would die, kill and suffer for years if it meant making him smile like that every day, making him happy, letting him be the joyous sunshine that he is.
-
*9.30 am*
Naruto finished piling on the last pancake onto the plate, he sliced some strawberries and bananas to go with them and finished it off with some maple syrup. He piled the plates on the table and started to make the coffee, he whistles to himself whilst he waited for the kettle to boil.
He looked around at the prepared table and smiled to himself, he loved making breakfast for Sasuke on the weekends, it’s what got him through the week of work, knowing they get to spend the weekend together. Something about being with Sasuke in their new house, watching him enjoy a meal Naruto cooked in their pj’s made Naruto so overly happy. He didn’t know what the feeling was called. Happy? No, it was more than that. Warm?
Naruto’s pondering was interrupted when the Kettle clinked to signify it was ready, he grabbed the kettle and poured them into the two mugs already set up on the table, which were filled with grinded coffee and sugar.
He made sure everything was ready before happily skipping back into the room to tell Sasuke breakfast was ready.
He peeked his head into the room, seeing Sasuke still collapsed onto the bed, looking mildly like death. Naruto laughed a little inside, Sasuke usually doesn’t get this drunk, so seeing him so hungover was also a new first for Naruto and it was quite funny to watch.
“Sunshine it’s time to get up and have breakfast.”
Sasuke looked at Naruto with half lid eyes, “Naruto it’s okay, I'll just stay in bed, plus I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.”
Naruto crossed his arms and pouted, “that’s not what I want to hear mister, plus food will make you feel better I promise.”
Sasuke grunted at Naruto. He found the edges of the bed covers with his left hand and threw them over himself in rebellion, “never, I’m not moving.”
Naruto smirked at the white lump on the bed, “fine if you’re not moving, I'll move you.”
Naruto walked over and grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it quickly off Sasuke so that he was fully visible.
“No! Naruto, I don’t have enough energy to fight back, please stop” Sasuke said in a high pitched whiny voice.
Naruto just shook his head in disappointment whilst smiling. “Sorry but you are coming with me.” Naruto picked up Sasuke with his two hands, bridal style.
Sasuke squirmed weakly in Naruto strong hands, “I hate you, I hope you know that.”
Naruto smiled widely at him, “I know, but you need food.”
Sasuke stopped squirming and started to flop in Naruto’s arms, a sad attempt to pretend to be dead.
Naruto looked down at his pitiful boyfriend and just raised an eyebrow, he lifted Sasuke into the air quickly and caught him as he landed. Sasuke was soon awaken from his two second death.
“Fuck you teme.”
“Love you more sweetie pie” Naruto said with a huge guilty smile on his face. He placed his still grunting boyfriend on the chair which had in front of it a huge stack of fluffy pancakes on them which were still steaming and accompanied with the fresh fruit and maple syrup which Naruto had placed alongside them.
Sasuke’s eyes lit up in excitement and his stomach grumbled in anticipation.
“See, you were hungry.” Naruto said boastfully as he circled back to his side of the table.
Sasuke started to stuff his face with the pancakes whilst evilly looking at Naruto, “tch.”
Naruto looked at his boyfriend happily eating his pancakes with great joy. He loved this, he loved him, he loved all of it.
-
*11 am*
“Hey Sasuke…” Naruto said cautiously.
“Hm?”
“Don’t you think we should go talk to Sarada? I mean, I talked to my kids about us, should you?”
Sasuke looked at him with a plan expression stamped on his face, “hm I guess so.”
Naruto gulped down on the steadily increasing burning sensation accumulating in his throat, afraid that the next words that would leave his mouth would not be well received, “Sasuke don’t bite me okay?”
Sasuke raised a curious eyebrow.
“Do you even love your kid?”
The room silenced out, heavy breathing from both counterparts could be heard but no one broke that intangible silence, that mild build of electricity slowly filling the room.
“Dobe, I am not the same with my kids as you are yours, that’s just it, okay?”
Naruto started to get frustrated, feeling himself lose patience with Sasuke, “Teme, no. You didn’t even start seeing her until I literally pressured you for weeks. How can you say you love her? And the fact that you don’t ever want to go over there willingly is shit Sasuke.” Naruto prepared himself for the first proper fight they would have as a couple.
“Naruto its none of your fucking business how much I see her, plus you know I have never been one of the emotional, lovey dove kinds.”
Naruto’s fist clenched in, trying to calm the boiling liquid filling inside of him. “Sasuke, she is your daughter, end of fucking story. You cannot blame her, for your mistakes of trying to act the straight dude. She was not the cause of your marriage or divorce. But you have to face the fucking facts, that yes you were once married to Sakura and yes you did convince a daughter with her in some poor attempt to try and see if being straight was even mildly possible for you. For fuck sake Sasuke, for once in your life will you care about anyone who isn’t you?”
Sasuke was starting to get mad, his eyebrows were sharply pointed down and his eyes seemed to glow a strange red and black mix.
“I do care, about you. Isn’t that fucking enough?”
Naruto started tearing up, “No.” He looked at his boyfriend and somehow composed a fake smile. “Sasuke I love you, I do. But you need to be a better father and if you loved me, you would start trying harder.” Naruto turned around and headed for the door.  His hands were inches away from turning the door handle, but his body had cemented into place.
Naruto turned around to see Sasuke looking out the window with a solemn expression on his face, tears slowly dripping down his white skin. “Hey Sasuke, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so angry at you, I know your trying, I just worry that you don’t care about her you know? She is your family and that means she’s mine. I just want you to be able to have something as special as I have with my kids. If you just try.”
Naruto turned back to head out the door, not knowing where he was going to go, but he just wanted to calm down. “I'll be back later, I do love you, I really do. I’m sorry Sasuke.”
Sasuke didn’t waver, his head was still firmly placed forwards towards the crystal-clear window. “Hm.” He refused to say anything more, because he wasn’t too sure what he was feeling right now. Guilt? Anger? Sorrow?
-
Naruto walked forwards, not knowing what direction he was going or really to what location. He just walked. Listened to the leaves which danced around in the wind, which were accompanied by birds singing to the skies, like some strange yet calming relaxing sonata.
He walked slowly forwards on the dirt track, watching his feet tussle the sand underneath. He looked up to the sun, which pulsated through the leaves and dangled towards to the ground like golden streamers hanging from the trees.
Naruto felt his heavy breathing calming, almost mimicking the peaceful scenario. His body went from an angered harsh walk to a peaceful stroll, which tried to dance in rhythm with the leaves whilst softly skimming the dirt underneath it.
Naruto smiled, feeling better already and then he felt it, the bright idea. He knew what he would do today.
With a smile on his face, he started to jump forwards, excited for the day to come.
-
12 pm
Naruto knocks on the door with a smile as big as his face.
He waits patiently by the door, twiddling his thumbs until the door was opened. Naruto was greeted by a long-time friend, who looks like they haven’t had an ounce of sleep, messy pink hair dangling all over their face, accompanied by deep green eyes and darkened circles to accentuate them.
“Naruto?”
“Hey you, looking fabulous as always.”
Sakura punched Naruto on the shoulder, which for a normal person would have sent them flying across the street, but luckily Naruto could hold his own with Sakura.
“What do you want. I’m too hung over to deal with your bubbly energy, not all of us have some magic beast that helps us recover really quick.”
Naruto chuckled lightly at Sakura’s remarks whilst entering and attempting to take off a shoe.
“I’m here to take the kids off your hands, you still have our children?”
Sakura lightly laughed, loud enough for Naruto to hear behind her, “I’m pretty sure I still have them.”
Naruto walked around a corner to find a puddle of mess, a room topped with drawings, broken crayons, plastic shuriken and nerf guns. He saw Boruto and Sarada fighting over a game of tekken, yelling at the screen to win the game for them and Himawari in the corner drawing another unicorn painting.
Naruto smiled at this sight, he wanted nothing more than to be the best dad for his kid and it hurt him to think Sasuke was missing this with Sarada.
“Well hello you guys.” Naruto said mischievously. The three kids turned around with spooked expressions on their face.
“Dad?” Boruto exclaimed in a curious and questioning voice.
Naruto smiled as he braced for a running Himawari that was ready for a bear tackle hug, “hey, I know your mother was meant to pick you guys up, but I called and asked if it was okay if I stole you guys for the day.”
Himawari’s face lit up as if she just saw a flying unicorn in the sky, “yay daddy, I missed you soooooooo much.”
Naruto’s face glowed in joy, he was nothing without his children, they were the centre to his existence.
“So, what do you say, adventure with the old timer?”
Boruto smiled and stood up to give his dad an epic high five, “you know it!”
-
Naruto was outside Sakura’s door, thanking her for taking care of the kids, he offered to cook her dinner anytime and gave her an invite to visit him at his new place. Sarada stood behind Sakura, a near copy of her and Sasuke, she waved at Boruto with a wide smile on her face and pink cheeks which highlighted her beautiful deep black eyes.
Before Naruto could say his last good bye, he slowly whispered into Sakura’s ear. “Sakura, is it okay if I also take Sarada today?”
Sakura looked at him with a confused and almost defensive motherly look, “hmm”.
Sakura looked over at Sarada and pursed her lips in a questioning way. “Hey sweetie would you like to join Naruto and his family for today? I know you had plans to go practice with Boruto later on, so if you wish to go, I will allow you to go.”
Sarada’s face lit up, she smiled widely and ran over to give her mother a giant hug, “thank you so much ma. Ille just get changed Mr. Uzumaki and be right over.”
“Take your time sweetie.”
Naruto looked at Sakura with deep gratitude, “thank you.”
Sakura gave Naruto a look that was more scary and threatening than anything he had ever seen, “take care of her, you hear me?”
Naruto gulped down in fear of being killed by Sakura If anything would happen to her baby girl, “yes mam.”
“Hm.” Sakura folded her arms in a cross manner, but soon relaxed her fist, “but thank you for thinking about her.”
“Anything for you and Sarada, you guys are my family and as much as Sasuke doesn’t want to admit it, he loves you guys just as much, he just struggles to show it.”
Sakura looked at Naruto with loving eyes, emerald gems that glowed in response to Naruto’s kind words.
“I hope that’s true, because I worry about her. I’m fine, I’m strong, I can survive with or without him, not that I want anything to happen to him, because you guys are now...”
“Sakura, it's fine I understand what you mean.”
“Hmm, it’s just her I worry about sometimes, you know? She basically grew up without a dad and I don’t want that to define her in a bad way, if you get what I mean?”
Naruto nodded his head, “I certainly do, it’s easy to start worrying so much about them, isn’t it? But all you can do is try your best and hope that what you teach them and how you guide them is the right way.”
Sakura placed her head on Naruto’s shoulder, letting out an agreeing sigh.
“I’m ready!”
Naruto laughed to himself, seeing Sarada in a full ninja outfit. “Well you do seem ready to take on a whole battle.”
Naruto beckoned her forward and placed a loving hand on her head as he messed around with her hair.
“Alright ninjas, off we go.”
*In a quick blink, all 4 ninjas were off to the trees, skimming the branches quickly and being alert of any dangers which they might face, like a stray evil cat*
*Chap 19: Will you stay or will you go?*
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festiveferret · 7 years ago
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Time for a WIPdate I guess. For anyone that bet “30k and counting” you win a toaster! I’ve binged out two, unplanned ~15k-ers which are now in the beta queue.
1) Noises has started posting! It got a title, Deafening Quiet, Silent Roar (edgy af, I know). Chapter 1 is up, and I’ll be posting probably once a week until it’s done (4 chaps total).
2) Held charges on. I have 3.8 fics done for that plus another idea scribbled onto a piece of paper on my desk. Plus a massive outline/hutch that will last us for many years to come.
3) Brooklyn is waiting patiently for inspiration to re-strike. Good girl, Brooklyn.
4) Plrz Grb is now nearly 40k. I blasted out 3-4 more chapters and had to take a break to write weird angsty stuff, but it’s still a main focus. I *might* start posting the beginning before I finish, but I’m weird so probably not. Arc One is in beta though!
5) Also in beta is Sad Steve, Smoking, and a Winterhawk piece. The beta queue is up to 90k atm (sorry babe) which hopefully means I’ll have plenty to post this fall!
6) Waiting patiently for the Cap-IM BB submission guidelines to go up so I can prep my entry. My fic for that still needs a bit of buffing up and quite a bit of polish, but it’s ready for claims on the 27th! I’m very excited, I’ve never done a BB before! :D
There are some buns in the hutch nipping at my heels as well so we’ll see which ones make the cut!
WIPDATEEE
1) I posted all of Noises (Deafening Quiet, Silent Roar), as well as SadSteve/The Conductor (Dreams of the Future, Memories of the Past) and Smoking (Nicotine Hit). This is making me realize how silly my working titles are.
2) Held is omg so totally planned out it’s wild. You can expect about 1 Held per week for the next couple months.
3) Brooklyn is still in a sit-stay. Good girl, Brooklyn.
4) Ok wow. So Plrz Grb (twenty points to anyone who gets the reference) is DONEZOOO. It is 15 chapters and will post once a week, on a schedule, once I get a bit of a beta-buffer going. It has a real title now, Lost Together (Blue Rodeo anyone??) and features soulmates, dimensional travel, H/C, and a goat. I hope to see you there!
5) Winterhawk has a title - Draw, Breathe, Fire - and is in beta. Hope to post soon. It’s a 15k one shot.
6) I submitted my BB draft!! Eeeeep! Matches happen this weekend and I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I still have some work to do on that, lots of polishing, a little stretching, some sections of absolute crap to re-write. But we’ll get there!
7) New baby bunny and all I’m going to say about that is that it’s 10k already and “Hooker AU”. Working (or final?) title is How We Met. Expecting it to be about 30-40k and will probably absorb much of my focus after Plrz is done.
Yay! Why do these lists never get any shorter? And even after saying that, I have the urge to be like, “Hey, send me bunnies!” What is my problem??
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writinguphill · 8 years ago
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HOW TO VENTOUX: Club des Cinglés
Before I start talking about this beautiful, windy bastard - I’m going to give some ability perspective to make this read as useful as it hopefully is inspiring.
In the grand scheme of cycling, I’m probably at the top-end of middle-of-the-road. I hit Regent’s Park one or two mornings a week, throw in an after-work Swain’s Lane rep session, then get out for 50-80 milers most weekends. I’m no mountain goat, and my legs aren’t smooth - but I’m definitely not shit.
Dating profile over. Now for the Mont.
Myself and three mates headed out mid September for three days of riding, choosing Bedoin as our base. Being the toughest of the 3 ascents we wanted to get it done first, and it turned out to be a great little town to stay in, with plenty of pizza and bike shops.
This was actually one of those trips where we got everything pretty spot on, so I’ve put some recommendations after the rides, and linked each Strava route.
Day one: Lovely leg warmer (80km, 2115m)
This route was a gem, looping around the southwest of the mountain through the stunning Gorges de la Nesque. Genuinely can’t recommend it enough.
After a nice steady 8km climb to get the brain and legs in gear, it takes in gorgeous vineyards and villages - plus an incredible descent through the tunnels carved in the mountain side. Les Gorges indeed.
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We stopped for a coffee in a sleepy town called Monieux about 38k in, and even fed baguette to a wild boar. Proper French. There’s a little sting in the tail just to remind you that you’re there to climb, but all in all it’s an absolute beauty to start.
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Then it was back to base. Beers in the sun. Pizza (there is no other food in Bedoin). Kit lay out for the 5am start. Foam roller. Sleep.
Day two: Club des failure - 30km
Advice: Always check what’s going on up the mountain before you set off.
Today, as we found out 15km up, a downhill car racing event was happening, meaning the final 7km to the summit was closed. Brilliant.  
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Back down. Talk about how we’d have to do those sodding 15kms all over again. Beers. Pizza. Bed.
Day three: Club des Cingles (135km, 4900m)
This was the day we joined le club. Bedoin, Malaucene, Sault - in that order. And what a day of riding it is.
Bedoin ascent (20km, 1540m, 8% avg)
The steepest of the 3 actually starts off steady, averaging about 4% for the first few kilometres to get the legs warm. Enjoy it while you can though, because at about 6km things ramp, and my Garmin didn’t move much below 12% for the next 8 or so km.
To any mountain novices this will sound hellish, but I think us Brits are just used to smashing it up short sharp climbs in England - reaching the top panting and red. Here things are very different, and once you’ve accepted you’re going to be climbing for nearly 2 hours, you just settle in and enjoy it. No rush. No red lining. Just lovely smooth spinning. 
Once into the rhythm, the climb is never too painful either. The smooth tree-lined roads are a joy to ride and you can just spin away, with the occasional clunk up to stand and give the bits some respite. Our Look hire bikes had 50/34 cassettes on the back, and those extra few teeth were an absolute godsend, so I’d definitely recommend it to minimise pain and maximise pleasure. You want to enjoy this!
As you hit Chalet Reinard at 15km, the landscape starts to change and the wind really kicks in. The trees disappear (probably uprooted by the sodding wind), and everything opens up to reveal the infamous Ventoux moonscape. With the sun beating down, this final 7km to the summit looks incredible, but fuck me it is a battle. And be warned - the Sault ascent shares this windy winding bugger, so you’ll be doing it twice. 
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The zig-zagging road allows for some intermittent respite from the gusts, but with savage crosswinds on the corners there were some very hairy moments for us. Josh actually got blown off his bike, and Charlie had to unclip just shy of the summit to prevent a similar fate. 
Another word of warning - don’t be fooled by the sight of the weather tower at the top - it’s an oasis. When you see it for the first time it feels like you’ve made it, but there’s still a good 5km to go. 
Nevertheless, we pushed (and held) on and made it to the top. Just…
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To get your Cingles card stamped, you have to go about 50m back down to the cafe, which you can see just on the left at the start of the video. It’s a welcome break from the wind and cold, and a lovely excuse to warm up with a coffee and cake and have a wee (if you can locate the old chap).
With one climb done, we zipped up the gilets and flew down to Malaucene - quite literally. The descent is epic and ludicrously fast in parts. The only downside to this of course, is knowing you’ll shortly be going back up it…
Malaucene ascent (21.5km, 1555m, 7% avg)
After another quick coffee and cake at the Cingles stamp cafe (it pays to buy something in these places as it keeps the staff smiling), we unzipped the gilets, pocketed the arm warmers, and began ascent number 2.  
I actually found this one the toughest - by a long way. It may have had something to do with the rising temperature or knowing what lay ahead, but it definitely hurt more than the first.
The Malaucene ascent is far less winding than Bedoin, and there are a couple of long straight sections that really test your metal. Kilometre-markers line the entire climb too, and while these can help you tick things over mentally, being alerted at every km that the next km averages another 11%, is tough.
We stopped once on this climb to catch our breaths and capture this Instagram gold, then just got our heads down and pushed on up.
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The final few km of this climb are the nicest of the three, and the views are some of the best you’ll see over the entire trip - so look around and drink them in (if you can pick your head off your headset). 
Summiting this one was a proper relief - and now all that stood in our way of Cinglés glory was the longer, ‘flatter’ Sault approach.
Sault ascent (25km, 1200m, 4%)
By the time we started our descent down to Sault, the sun was beaming and the summit temperature was bearable, so we took the opportunity to stop and pay our respects to Tom Simpson. It’s amazing to see how many people leave caps and bidons on his memorial (and even more amazing how they stay put with the bastard wind). 
The descent down to Sault is a dream. Being less steep it’s obviously less quick, which means you can actually take in your surroundings, and the roads are as smooth as they come (thank you Tour De France), winding through mountain forests and eventually opening out to vineyards as you near Sault. And here it is…
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Once again, we stopped, stamped, and filled up our bottles, then set of for the final approach. One thing I would say about this ascent is, it’s long. Very long. And with a far less challenging gradient and that extra 5km, it does drag a little. But when it does, just look around and remind yourself that riding (and life in general) doesn’t get much better. So bloody enjoy it. 
As we reached Chalet Reinard for the final time, we knew it was just that 7km slog left. The wind hadn’t relented, and it took every bit of life in the legs and lungs to grind up it. I don’t think a word was uttered until we hit the top - but when that moment came, it was nothing short of fucking fantastic. 
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And that’s it, you’re done. Relax. Reflect. Reminisce. You’re now a member of the Club Des Cinglés! Just make sure you get your final stamp back down in Bedoin. Then have a beer. Or eight.  
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Recommendations:
Accommodation
Great little Airbnb smack bang in the centre of Bedoin, right next to the bike shop, and pretty much at the start of the segment. Ideal.
Bike hire
I can’t recommend Bedoin Location enough. The guys working in there are friendly and helpful, and got our set-ups spot on. We hired Look 566 bikes with 50/34 on the back.
Kit 
We went mid September and the temperature was perfect for climbing. Cool in the mornings and warm by midday. So I’d suggest base layer, short sleeve jersey, gilet and arms warmers. Sunglasses are also a must for descending. 
Food + water
Other than Chalet Reinard (which you pass on both the Bedoin and Sault ascents), there are no shops or cafes during the climbs - so grab what you need at the top and bottom of each one. And definitely take two bidons - it’s thirsty work. 
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kitkasimba · 8 years ago
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5 Things tag
Okay, so I was tagged by @jmplel to tell y’all things about myself in a sequence of 5s. Warning, this is gonna get real long, and I’m going to make it a “read more” thing. So, if you’re really want to know more... PREPARE YOURSELVES. Also, thanks friend! ♥♥♥
5 things you’ll find in my bag:
1. Wallet because it is the holder of my (lack of) money & multitudes of Dutch Bros cards.
2. Important and sentimental notes from my best guy friend, best gal friend, my uncle, and my roommate from my freshman year. These letters are some of the most important things I possess, and they’re all from different parts of my life.  My best guy friend gave me this letter when we first started dating freshman year of high school and I have it because there are a few sentences in it that still hold true of our unbreakable friendship. My best gal friend gave me this letter when I was surprise visited by her 2 summers ago at the San Francisco airport. It was my birthday and every other holiday in the year letter/card and everytime I read it I cannot help but cry because the bond we have is truly remarkable. She’s my best friend, wife, and sister. My uncle gave me this letter when I moved into my resident hall my freshman year of college. He placed it in my rolled up memory foam in a package that was wrapped in half-naked men paper. The “gift” he bestowed upon me was condoms (that I ended up distributing to my friends), but his note was congratulating me on my accomplishments and how proud he is of everything I’ve done. I cry everytime I read that letter too. My roommate from freshman year of college gave me this letter when we were moving out. We were close, but not as close as we could have or wished we could have been. She was the best roommate I could ever hope and ask for though. We were so alike and still keep in touch today, and I keep it because it was the first time living “on my own” with another person. 
3. Well that last one was hella long... sorrynotsorry. I also keep prescription sunglasses (that need updating) because I, too, like seeing in the sunlight. Also, they make everything look like an instagram filter and that is what I truly live for tbh.
4. Allergy pills because I am kind of, sort of, maybe allergic to pet dander... and I have a cat at home-home and living with me in my apartment. Good move Ashley. I also just have terrible allergy attacks from the sun and pollen. Life is great.
5. Chapstick because my lips be hella chapped all the time.
5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:
1. POSTERS GALORE. I don’t like having too much empty space on my walls, so I cover them with posters, flags, cards, pictures, art, etc.
2. A really high (and hella comfy) queen bed with 3-4 blankets and 7-9 pillows (3 are pillow pets and 2 are body pillows). I sleep on a cloud. This is my first time having a bed to call my own that is not a twin.
3. LOTS of clothes (and flannel). I like having options!!
4. Pictures and pictures of my friends and family. Not entirely recent pictures, but people who are important in my life and deserve to be recognized and seen.
5. White Christmas lights that are above my bed and window. They help me wind down at night and they relax me whenever I am feeling too much of anything. Just seeing them makes me feel better. 
5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:
1. I’ve always wanted to own a Corgi, and someday I will. I walk my past supervisor’s corgi almost every week and it never fails to make me smile. I cannot wait to have a corgi to call my own who I will spend time with and share a home with. It’s one of the only thoughts that actually makes excited for the future (at the moment).
2. Cut my hair short. I’ve been mulling over this for months now and I just cannot bring myself to get it all cut off. Like, I’m talking somewhat of a pixie cut but with a lil more length. Sounds ridiculous, but I’ll explain later why it’s challenging for me. 
3. Come out to everyone... not just people I have carefully selected, especially in my family. I’m pretty much completely out at school (I mean, with my job it’s kind of hard not to be & I have no fear of being out at school). At home, though, I’m out to immediate family except my grandma and dad. I really want to come out to my dad and I was so to doing so towards the end of the year because at the time I had a partner who got involved. However, things didn’t work out and I ended up not doing it... but someday I’ll get that chance--hopefully.
4. Travel to London and Australia. I don’t know why, but I have always had some sort of inclination to go see those two places. It’s probably those red telephone booths and those wombats... But, I would love to see them for myself.
5. Roadtrip around the PNW (or just Oregon, and maybe Washington). I really want to visit Crater Lake again and learn more places about Oregon! It’s a beautiful place and I feel like I have been confined to parts of it and don’t know a whole lot more about its other regions. Oh, and also learn an instrument while on this roadtrip (now I’m just bending the rules and throwing that in there). But I think I’m instrumentally challenged... or just don’t have the ability.
5 things I’m currently into:
1. Tattoos. I am suffering from serious tattoo fever and I just want to get one after the other. I’m trying to wait out until my next one in the summer, but I don’t know... I am really interested in getting a small one on the side of my lower right arm.
2. Reading. During the summer and up until now, I’ve been very invested in the Harry Potter series because it has been my goal for the past couple years to read them. I’m on the final book and I just want to finish the series but I’m finding it really hard to make time to read them with other things I need to do and a part of me doesn’t want them to end. I know I missed the train on these in childhood, but they’re so amazing, and it’s hard to believe that I just got around to reading them. (The length of books and series intimidates me, especially when they’re 400+ pages. Mostly because I’m a slow reader).
3. Working out. I made it a goal of mine to go to the gym 2-3 times a week this term (and year) because I’m paying for the gym at my university and also because I want to channel my extra energy and emotions in a constructive way. Also I just want to try to take care of my body more. (I’m hella sore rn).
4. MOANA. That movie is absolutely beautiful and I cannot get over how amazing it was. It’s in my top 4 favorite Disney movies right now, and I love the music from it. (Lin Manuel-Miranda is a phenomenal human being).
5. TV shows. I’ve been watching more TV shows than I usually have. Like I used to watch shows here and there, but now I’m like “Okay, we finished one show. What’s next?” I just haven’t been invested in them as much before? Or maybe because I’ve gotten older I am able to understand and appreciate some shows more? Currently I’m watching Jane the Virgin S3. I just finished watching A Series of Unfortunate Events... all in one evening. Good job Ashley.
5 things on my to-do list:
1. Do the reading for the one class I had this past week. It’s nothing too much but it’s tedious and I lack the motivation to do it.
2. Finish drafting the email for the people I work with and to make the poster for that other program I have in about a week. 
3. Respond to emails for social activities... I love emails, but sometimes I just do not want to Adult. 
4. Get prepared for Drag Show auditions next weekend!!! AAAHHH I AM SO EXCITED!!
5. Make a list of food to buy within the next 2 weeks. I miss not paying for these things.
5 things people may not know about me:
(Some of you may know these, and sorry. I can be pretty open, so I’ll do what I can).
1. You know how I mentioned I want to cut off my hair but won’t? Well, one of the things I use to mask my (many) insecurities is my hair. Therefore, if my hair turns out not lookin’ so good I am going to feel extremely vulnerable... then again, that may not be a bad thing?
2. I’m in the process of trying to see a counselor. This has been something fairly new because I’ve never seen a licensed counselor. I’ve done volunteer counseling for grad students obtaining their degrees, but never with someone who already has their degree and is out of school. I’m really nervous because opening up to people about things in my past is extremely difficult for me due to self issues. However, this will be extremely beneficial for me because there are some things I need to work out personally and trauma related. 
3. I’ve had pretty short lived relationships... My first relationship (freshman year of high school) was 2 weeks and 4 days (longest). My second relationship (sophomore year of high school) was 2 days. My third relationship (fifth year in college - recently) was 2 weeks and 2 days. I have a feeling the number 2 is not a number in my favor?
4. I have a deep passion for photography and hope to incorporate it more into my life when I don’t have to worry about school all the time. I miss being behind a lens. 
5. While I have accepted the quote “your eyebrows are sisters, not twins,” my left eyebrow is a lil wonky because it has nerve damage. When I was younger, my cousin and I were doing something in the yard and he threw a wooden brick at me and it ended up hitting my left eyebrow. So, my left eyebrow goes flat when I smile too hard. It’s one of my biggest insecurities when people take my picture, but I have learned to accept it (that and my bangs kind of hide it). Its ability to arch is not too great, but she does her best. 
If you read all of this, I’m hella impressed. I’m not too interesting of a person, but something kept you going til the end and I thank you very much for sticking by. 
I’ll tag @sass-and-chocolate, @darth-pope, @latenitetacos, and @kitkatkat18.
Y’all totally don’t have to do this (it’s real long, I know), but I’d love to see your responses if you do. Again, thanks for the tag, Katie! ♥
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neighbourskid · 4 years ago
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Goodbye 2015! You sucked.
(original date: 29 December 2015)
Ah, it is that time of the year again. Christmas is over, the year slowly but surely coming to an end....
And yes, we are doing it again. Looking back on the year, seeing all that wasn't good, everything that sucked. We see it everywhere.
January: 2015 will be my year, I can feel it!
December: Oh, nevermind....
It's all over the social media. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr... we see it everywhere, from everybody.
But this year you will not hear it from me. I do, of course, agree. This year sucked. Most of it really. There were so many shitty things this year. All the killings of black people, the wars all over the world, the incidents in Paris... you name it, it probably happened.
But, as I said, you will not hear any complaining from me. No. I will look back at all the good things that happened this year. And now I should probably stop rambling about what I could do and get started. So, without further ado: My year in, well, I guess, numbers.
2015 in Movies
As you, my dear readers, have without doubt noticed, I have watched a few movies this year. Well, a few is quite understated. All in all I have been to the cinema 30 times since last December. Which, for most people, is a lot. At least most of my friends told me that I was, and I quote here, bonkers, out of my mind, crazy.. you get the feeling. A few also said they could not afford such extravagances. My answer was mostly, "me neither". But I did go, still.
So, here are the numbers. Since last December, I have-
been to the movies 30 times
seen 26 different movies
seen one movie 4 and another 2 times
seen 3 movies in one afternoon & 4 in one week
been to the movies with 14 different people
been to the movies 12 times on my own
been to 16 different cinemas
And those, my dear readers, are the movies I've seen:
Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies | Penguins of Madagascar | Paddington | Imitation Game (2x) | Big Hero 6 | Mortdecai | The Theory of Everything | Into the Woods | Selma | Whiplash | Kingsman | Birdman | Avengers: Age of Ultron (4x) | Pitch Perfect 2 | Spy | Minions | Mr. Holmes | Ant-Man | Paper Towns | The Martian | Spectre 007 | Black Mass | The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 | Irrational Man | Star Wars: The Force Awakens | Bridge of Spies
It was a good year of cinema, I tell you. Very excited for next year. Can't wait to try beating my record. And I tell you, I will try. I will also try and watch the Award ceremonies. And watch the nominated movies beforehand. At least that is the plan.
But enough of movies and cinema now. Let's move on to the next category. Because besides sitting in cinemas all year, I have also read a couple of books. You who read my blog have, of course, noticed that.
2015 in Books
At the beginning of this year I planned to read 50 books for the '2015 Reading Challenge', but I guess I failed.
But I did read, mind you. A lot. For school mostly, but right after I graduated I started reading the books I actually wanted to read, the books I had at home for a long time but never read. I read novels, memoirs, short stories, biographies.. I read a lot. But I think I bought even more.
So I guess, these are my numbers for books. In 2015 I've read-
21 books
around 4.5k pages
13 books for school
7 German ones
11 English ones
3 French ones
This here are the books I've read:
Frankenstein (Mary Shelley) | More Fool Me (Stephen Fry) | The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (Douglas Adams) | Die Physiker (Friedrich Dürrenmatt) | Die Weber (Gerhart Hauptmann) | Macht der Drei (Hans Dominik) | Egmont (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe) | Der Sandmann (E.T.A. Hoffmann) | Leben des Galilei (Bertolt Brecht) | The Hound of the Baskervilles (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) | Paris au XX siècle (Jules Verne) | Der Schimmelreiter (Theodor Storm) | La Planète des Singes (Pierre Boulle) | L'An 2440 (Louis-Sébastien Mercier) | Paper Towns (John Green) | You're Never Weird On The Internet (Felicia Day) | Moriarty (Anthony Horowitz) | Before I Go To Sleep (S.J. Watson) | The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared (Jonas Jonasson) | Sherlock - The Casebook (Guy Adams) | The Importance of Being Earnest (Oscar Wilde)
I mostly enjoyed reading the books I read on my own terms. But 'Frankenstein', 'The Hitchhiker's Guide' and 'The Hound of Baskervilles', which I all read for school, were brilliant as well. I loved reading them. They were the most interesting ones I read for school.
'Die Macht der Drei' was honestly one of the worst books I've ever read. While discussing it with my teacher for the presentation I had to have about it, we mostly laughed about how bad it was. The story would have potential, mind you, but it was so badly written. It was horrible to read.
The French ones were acceptable, but I barely understood a thing.
Right now I'm still reading 'The Sherlockian' by Graham Moore (the great chap who wrote the academy award-winning screenplay for "The Imitation Game"), which is a brilliant book as well.
I'm hoping to read more in 2016, trying the challenge again, probably.
Mooooving on now. What else happened in 2015? Humm..... My shitty memory is quite challenging when it comes to such things. Well, how about a top ten of good things that happened? Yeah, sound like a good enough idea.
Top 10 Things of 2015
10.  Getting my teeth. It should probably be further up the list, but idk. It was painful getting them, but it was worth it. I have them now, which is all that counts.
09. Watching the Oscars all alone in my bed, all night long and then going to school without having slept a second. It was a great night. I enjoyed that and I will be doing that again next year. The ceremony really touched me somehow. I loved it.
08. The summer camp "Connected" I helped organizing this year. It was amazing, we had a great time. And if you wanna know more about it, read the blog post I made about it.
07. Having made sure that my friend and I can go to San Diego next summer, around time for Comic-Con. I feel like this should be way up the list, but it's just the planning. I know that if I make a list at the end of 2016 it will grace the top of the list. It will probably be the list. But the planning alone is already motivating me like nothing else.
06. Probably graduating from my school? Like, that I made it, that I did not fail. It wasn't a particularly nice event, but hey, it happened. So the three years of, well, suffering, were worth it. I had fun at some of the exams, but that was an exception.
05. I went to the Europa Park in Germany with my friend and we had the best time ever. It was so much fun, I tell you. It was great being away from everything for two days and just enjoying the moment, being there without having to please any people, being able to just be ourselves. Sigh, I miss it.
04. The week me and my classmates spent in Calella, Spain the week after graduation. We had an amazing time there. It was a beautiful goodbye to these people. I really enjoyed myself there. It was great.
03. Going to the Cinema so much...I think. Yeah. It was great. I really liked that. I love the feeling of sitting among strangers, experiencing the same thing for 2.5 hours and then leaving. Not alone. But somehow as a group. It inspires me. Really does.
02. I will put 'Warner Bros. Studio Tour: The Making of Harry Potter' on this place, because as much as it hurt my heart being there, as much as the nostalgic feeling was killing me inside...it was a truly amazing experience and I loved every second of it. It showed me what a tremendous impact Harry Potter had on my life, my childhood. J.K. Rowling formed so much of my life with her books. And I am very grateful for that. I nearly broke down into tears in the café of the studio, but it was....sigh, amazing. Truly was.
01. I knoooooooow it sound incredibly cheesy to put this on my place 1 of the top ten things that happened this year....but it was kinda the highlight. It really was. So, as you know, I've been to London this fall to watch Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet. And as brilliant as the play was (AND IT WAS ASTONISHING), my highlight happened three days later, when I went back to the Barbican, stood in the cold for what felt like forever to meet Benedict. And having this incredible man stand an arm's length away from me, smiling and looking at me was most definitely the best thing that happened this year.
Now that I have rambled on for, like, forever I will end this looking back post, with looking forward. Because that is something we all should do: Look forward. Not back. Don't dwell on past things. Don't drag yourself down for something that didn't work out the way you planned it. Look to the future. Keep moving forward!
The things I look forward to in 2016 are quite a few, I tell you. And I'd rather think about them, than about all the bad things that happened in 2015.
In 2016 I look forward to going to Letters Live! in March with a few of my friends. I look forward to maybe visiting my grandma's hometown in Italy. I look forward to our team weekend in February, our teenager party in April. I look forward to the two weeks my friend and I will be spending in San Diego next July. I look forward to meeting Zachary Levi. I look forward to starting my studies next Fall. I look forward  to... 2016. And hopefully it will be a good year. Hopefully our world will come to good terms with itself. Hopefully some wars will end. Hopefully the refugee crisis will get a good solution. Hopefully, we can all be the best versions of ourselves. Hopefully we get to fulfil our dreams. Hopefully this will be our year!
And with that, my dear friends and readers, I wish you all a happy new year. I hope it will indeed be a happy new year for you.
With love,
Alex
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blake-quake · 7 years ago
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do all of them. all oF THEM. ALL OF THEM.
1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?Easily2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused?I’m perpetually confused3: What if I told you that you were pretty?Id probably say “duh”4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”?I have actually5: Are you interested in anyone right now?I’m not even interested in myself6: What are you looking forward to in the next week?Dance class7: Do you want to be single?Not really8: Did you go out or stay in last night?Stay in, I’m at a friends house and we played games all night9: How late did you stay up last night?I went to bed at about 12 but couldn’t sleep until about 410: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot?Probably high school, either sophomore or junior year11: Last three things you had to drink?Big red, Dr. Pepper, and some lemonade with Bacardi last night12: Have you pretended to like someone?Only playfully, never seriously13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it?No i don’t think so14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?Other than some doctors that took out my appendix i hope not15: Is it hard for you to get over someone?Not really16: Think back five months ago, were you single?I’ve been single for about three years17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon?Eating some leftover pizza18: Hold hands with anyone this week?Only in during dance class but i don’t think that’s what you mean19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol?Doubtful20: What would you name your future daughter?I like the name Cynthia21: Do you miss anyone?Some old friends of mine22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night?Nope23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed?Nope24: Are you good at hiding your feelings?More or less25: Have you ever cried from being so mad?I don’t think so26: Who did you last see in person?Some friends who I’m staying with for the weekend27: Are you listening to music right now?Yep28: What is something you currently want right now?Money is always nice29: What is the last thing you said out lot?That I’m answering some questions on tumblr30: How is your heart lately?Heavy31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie?Sometimes32: Are you wearing socks?Always33: What do people call you?Smartass34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?I don’t like anyone, at least not in the way i think this is implying35: Are there any stressful situations in your life?Anything involving my dad lately36: Who did you last share a bed with?The last time i shared a bed was a couple years ago with a friend while we were on vacation37: Did you do something bad today?No not today38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you?Probably my mom sometime recently39: Do you get stressed out easily?Yeah kinda40: Will you sing today?I already have41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t?Quite often actually42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone?Usually my mom or a friend on here43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance?Thankfully no44: What are you listening to right now?Right now I’m listening to a friend list off movies to rent45: What is wrong with you right now?I’m a little lonely but that’s a pretty constant thing46: What is on your wrists right now?Nothing, i don’t really accessorize much47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing?The store48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider?Apple cider but i prefer it cold49: Do you make wishes at 11:11?Not really50: Are you a good artist?Not really51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh?I think so52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago?Nothing was really different six months ago, except i had a few less holes in my belly53: Ever been on a golf cart?Nope54: Do you have trust issues?Definitely55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who?No not really56: Do you own something from Hot Topic?A couple of t-shirts57: Do you use chap stick?Nope58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face?Only playfully59: Do you have a little sister?Yes i do and I’m about to have another60: Have you ever been to New York?Only once for barely even a day, i would love to go back though61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?I hope my own mother loves me62: Have you hugged someone within the last week?Again only my mom63: What were you doing at midnight last night?Watching YouTube64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?No i don’t think so65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?My little sister66: Were your last three kisses from the same person?It’s been awhile since I’ve been kissed but i think so67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days?Nope68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone?Depends on who it is69: Will next Friday be a good one?Hopefully but it’s doubtful
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