#change a tire near me
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#tyre change london#audi tyre change#tyre change#24hr tyre replacement london#tire change service#how long does a tyre change take#how long does it take to change a tyre#change a tire near me#tyre replacement london
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#kirby#plants#daily kirby#my art#digital#hal laboratory#nintendo#noooooooo they pruned the giant evergreen outside my apartment! ;n;#they only took a couple branches so it's nowhere near the scale of disaster as the Plant Massacre at our last apartment#but it's so much sunnier in here now :(#I'm so tired of apartments. random people can just drastically change my environment with no input from or warning to me.#it really upsets me tbh.#favorites
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someone please write my in-depth osomatsu and nyaa go on a pity date fan fiction for me
#osomatsu-san#he notices how stressed out and tired she is and is like#let me show you how to take it easy from a pro who does it full time#and takes her to do all his usual neet activities#she confides about how scared she is to enter a relationship again and how she's privately worried that maybe she doesn't deserve love#osomatsu confides about how scared he was to go on the date because of how scared he is of change#the 4 brothers stalking the date grow increasingly uncomfortable as osomatsu vents in the comfort of a near-stranger#listening to him get more and more vulnerable w her and waiting for the punchline that never comes#png
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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i'm meant to be picking berries and catching fish and walking in nature and swimming in the ocean and telling stories with my friends. not whatever this is.
#i fucking hate this#i hate hate hate this existence#i know it's up to me to change my life#and i will#but i'm so tired#moving to sydney was a huge mistake. capitalist hellhole of a city. the year living there drained so much of my psyche.#melbourne is better. but now i'm in limbo. do i stay? i feel less connected to nature living here.#my soul is unhappy#i need to live somewhere near nature. somewhere smaller.#but i also want public transport and queer people and multicultural food/events. which aren't synonymous with smaller towns.#i'm just so confused
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parents' incapability of apologising to their children should be studied
#they don't have a book that tells them how to be parents but truly the words “i'm sorry” would do wonders#they don't need a book they need to show to their children the same respect they expect from them#the way i genuinely can't stand it anymore#my father complains about not having a good relationship with me and yet does nothing to fix that#he just always makes things worse belittling me constantly#he's a master of gaslighting and he seems to enjoy making you feel insane#and he uses it so much whenever it fucks it up with one of his stupid comments#like i often feel sick and today at lunch i said that i felt nauseous so i couldn't eat much#and he whole ass snickered and sarcastically said “just for a change huh?”#as in to mean that i always feel that way so i'm just exaggerating “as per usual”#and he's been doing this shit for years#every single time i feel unwell he always says that i'm just exaggerating and that it's not true#and then he goes on and on on how i should just be treated as an old car and go outside to get demolished and thrown away#and that's the kindest thing he says because usually he says worst#he's been doing this for so long that sometimes i fear getting sick because i don't want to listen to him making fun of me#today at lunch he did again indeed and i simply finished my food and then went to my room and now as per usual he pretends nothing happened#he always pretends he has done nothing when really 1 “i'm sorry” from him would be enough#it's the fact that he doesn't want to apologise that makes worse#because he knows he does something wrong but he has too much pride to admit it#so instead he expects me to get over it and if i dare mention it or the fact that i'm still hurt he starts insulting me#and he starts playing the victim card#and 10 minutes ago i have mentioned that i was still upset (because he asked me “are you angry with me?”) and all he said was that he#doesn't even know what he did and that i should fuck off#this happens every single time#even the other day he hit me in the head for “laughs” and when i got angry because he hurt me he just went like “are you stupid?”#as if he did nothing and then he realised what he said but he didn't apologise he just pretended he was ready to fight me#this is like another thing he does a lot like he knows that i get anxious with loud noises and sometimes he purposely makes loud noises near#my ears when my back is turned to him so that i don't realise that he's about to do it#and then he pretends he's just playing around with me and then he insults me if i don't laugh with him#i'm truly just so tired
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#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time#because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me#in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax#but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago#and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated#it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep#and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all#not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening#which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me#i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now#re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me#i've never been someone who feels much fear#i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes#i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level#(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before#and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend#it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days#for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you#what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now#i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep#*three days ago
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cc calling Alastair and Cordelia's eyes black is so :/ to me like idc that they're just a shade darker than the pupil or whatever, their eyes are still brown. you're allowed to call them brown cc, even though that's boring and dull and plain etc. Thomas standing outside in the sun like inches away from Alastair's face should be able to see that his eyes are in fact fucking brown.
#cc and her anti brown eyes agenda continues#and I say all this as someone who *has* dark brown eyes#like 'in most lightings its near impossible to tell where my iris ends and my pupil begins' dark brown eyes#& i say most lightings because in sunlight/really bright areas my eyes dramatically get lighter#i personally love it & think its very cool and better than blue or whatever eyes#but ik cc wouldn't agree with me on that one 🙄#anyway it bothers me that cc describes their eyes as black constantly without any regard for the lighting#like??? do you not know a single brown eyed person lmao#alastair carstairs#cordelia carstairs#cordelia herondale#anti cc#anti cassandra clare#chain of thorns#chain of gold#chain of iron#the last hours#tlh#actually I just remembered that she describes Matthew's eyes as changing in different lights all the time 😐#theres literally no excuse for this im tired of her bullshit#the shadowhunter chronicles
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really fucking hate people that take mean things you did as a kid and hold them against you forever, no matter what you do. i literally had to teach my own parents right from wrong, why do you fucking think i didn't know it then
#if you genuinely think people can never grow and change you are a toxic fucking person and i do not want you near me#this isn't about anything specific btw i just have been watching a lot of videos about bad people changing for the better lately#and I'm sick and tired of seeing comments like 'ummmm but they still did this years ago sooooooo are they really better at all'#like seriously what is fucking wrong with that train of thought do you even hear yourself?#compassion is the quickest route to real change in a person and nobody wants to accept that#they just think it's okay to spread vitriolic hate until the latest problem goes away. and then start the cycle with someone new#maybe if we all managed to work together a little better things wouldn't be so fucked up.
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mutual how are you so good at getting into arguments with people who agree with you
probably bc i only respond to people who cant write or read
"rape play can be consented to" and "rape can be consented to" are VERY different sentences. n like honestly i shouldnt even have bothered.
if you have such a fundamental misunderstanding of the english language i wont waste my time trying to communicate with you. when every word means something different its not really english anymore is it. if everything u say is so divorced from the english language that i need to ask you to repeat and translate everything i dont think im at fault here
i might just cut contact w anyone in the community because everything i say is misunderstood and misrepresented and not taken seriously if im not sucking up to people.
and so many words have new double-meanings and im led to think i disagree with ppl because theyre fucking incapable of writing a coherent sentence. and then its my fault somehow.
and its not like 'transid' or paraphilia dont exist outside of the radqueer community. everyone wants to change things about themselves. everyone changes. people are into weird shit and have mental disorders. i dont have a problem with peoples experiences.
n if rqs put any effort into what they say (or even didnt blame me for assuming that a word doesnt have any new secret meaning) id treat it the same as the mogai or liom community. whatever. kinda fun. sometimes theres a relatable label
.delete later
#i do have a deep insecurity about being stupid and always confused and people not understanding anything i say#ableist shit#but i also dont see anything wrong with how i talk from my perspective#i dont know why whatever is wrong with me is wrong with me#other autists dont like or understand me#but like. even if theres something fundamentally wrong with me im not gonna bend over backwards and make myself palatable you anyone.#i dont give a shit really. no one has to like or understand me ig#also. 'where do you guys find animal rape porn?'. im not hanging out near a community where thats as common as it is and people you reblog#from like that shit.#im aware that 'not all of us' and 'theres bad apples everywhere' but thw queer community doesnt have a Huge chunk that believes in#legalizing rape.#and i dont think id hang out in any other community that does.#also#not as bad obviously but so many people being pathetic. identities for when youre trans but have internallized so much transphobia tha#t youre calling yourself cis now#you have intrusive thoughts so now you say youre transharmful.#its a whole lot of letting outside factors control your identity which is just miserable to look at for me#and not a vibe i wanna be around#sometimes theres straight up bigotry 'afab 4 afab because duhh afab means pussy. and transsexuals dont exist' or treating birth assignment#as a gender#you see that in the regular queer community too i just feel like complaining#im just tired of this. every day i log on to tumblr and see a rq post and go 'wow/damn these people are extremely annoying and detached#from the english language'.#fucking. even transgender in a transid context has a different meaning#ppl say transgender isnt a transid and like. theyre right and theyre also wrong.#transgender(transid version) isnt the fucking same as transgender(queer community)#and this isnt me being genuine but lets have some fun with radqueer etymology and twist transgender even further. trans- in a transid#context means (change) with intent.#i did not choose my gender with intent..therefore actually i am a cisgender male.#so if i do end up fucking blocking you then you know why
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you know I’m close to insanity because I willingly took up running
#DISGUSTING running better solve all my problems as I’ve been promised#I’m never letting a man near me ever again ew#like my main coping mechanism throughout the years was dying my hair or just changing my hair but I honestly love my hair rn#I’m trying to cope in a healthy way but it is taking such a long time and it’s so tiring actually dealing with feelings urgh#I feel like I’m just moving in circles#running in circles now 😏#anyways I’m disgustingly out of shape so let’s see how long I can keep this up#roulette
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Sleepover w my probably unrequited crush was NOT good for me
#going insane. i slept for 2 hours mainly bcs i spent most of the time near cardiac arrest#such a cringefail moment nothing has changed since highschool etc. well it has but ive had 2 hrs of sleep and im being dramatic#i dont even know if shes in a relationship i think maybe shes in like a fwb situation w this guy she spends a lot of time with#who is very nice honestly might not even mind that like everyone here is polyam anyway lol but idk if she even likes me that way at all.#and i physically cannot talk to her abt this i think i'd genuinely die of a heart attack and bury myself alive no matter the outcome#but also i guess my life will stay this way forever if i dont eventually do smth abt crushes but im like SO scared#though i guess realistically the worst outcome is that i embarrass myself. like she's bisexual she's not going to kill me or be disgusted#WELL. Maybe I'll do smth abt this tomorrow (probably not)#but also im soo worried that if it's reciprocated it turns out i dont actually want anything from her#bcs that would mean i have Fucked Up Issues and i don't even know how to begin thinking abt solving them#anyway GOODNIGHT. I am tired and not in a state of mind to do deep psychoanalysis on myself 🗣
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I feel bad saying it, but I am enjoying p3p SO much more than p4g
which I kind of expected I would? I didn't know much about either going in (bare-bones plot for p4g, One Big Spoiler for p3, basic themes for both) but what little I knew made me think p3 was just generally more to my taste
but the music is so much better?? the characters feel much more nuanced and deep, and the team's interpersonal conflicts with each other feel so much less shallow and contrived than *any* other persona/smt game I've played yet (admittedly not many yet, but I'm working on it!)
p4g took a while for me to get into, but p3p is hitting all the same "instant love" buttons that p5 did for me, which I wasn't expecting but am definitely not complaining about
#quinn plays p3p#honestly my biggest non-mechanics complaint is that junpei is Weird About Women#and he's not even as bad as yosuke was! nowhere near!#granted some of that is probably that I'm playing femc and they just didn't bother to change dialogue BUT.#I'm standing by it#at least for now#(i just got august and met aigis so i have officially met both of the romance options I'm considering lol)#(if he gets worse from here do NOT tell me)#(you'll know when he gets added to my shit list. i will not be subtle.)#anyway. I'm done for today bc I'm Tired but i so deeply wish i wasn't#adoring how tartarus is getting more sad and more gothic as we ascend#much like how i loved how mementos' menace increased as we went down
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I am so high I love you dabs I love you big bong rips I love you huge heavy bong I love you only having 20 dollars to my name and no plans but getting high and ignoring it I love you oh no I’m thinking about it
#I want to take an ice cold shower and scream and smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and lock myself in a closet for 72 hours in the dark with#no distractions to figure out what I actually want to do with the rest of my life and to face every bad thought I have and struggle to#ignore even years later like ugh I just need to be at the bottom of the ocean floating sinking alive dead in between for like a month and#then pull me back up and either I’ll be normal or I’ll be so fucked up they just put me back in there#like either way I am vibing at the bottom of the ocean (I have been desperately imaging a sensory deprivation tank all day)#(put me in a fucking sensory deprivation tank until something in my fucking brain rewires and I get worse or better than I am now this#inbetween stage is fucking killing me like what do you mean I’m not a horrible person but also what do you mean I struggle every day but I’m#normal but I have things about me other people don’t and alienate me to the point of near total isolation but also this is just how humans#are and I need to take meds and actively struggle to fit into a perfect little box of what a person should be like god damn I am so tired of#getting better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and better and worse and I’m miserable and I’m happy and I’m sobbing and#I know a month from now I’ll be depressed again or I’ll be the best I’ve ever been and it’s so fucking horrible to be in the middle stage#where I actually have to step up and admit shit is wrong and face it like why can’t I just lay in bed forever until I become the bed and not#like get a job and have a future. ugh. depression is so fucked esp bc most things in my life are normal I guess or like easier than my#friends like we all have seperate challenges but I’m the only one still living off their parents (ha. parent. forgot for a second.) and the#only thing wrong with my life is the mental health issues but I won’t step up and deal with it bc I feel like I’ve been depressed for so#long I like fucked up the foundational shit and like I know it’s fine but also I feel so behind and I feel like I’ll be behind and unhappy#forever even when im happy I know the next depressive episode is right around the corner and I give up again. ugh. I hate knowing that’s#what’s wrong with me but still not having the energy to step up and fix it. im so pathetic I want to cry. my brain is me but my brain is#destroying my life. anyways. im high and now im sad and have dry mouth. I think im gonna drink ice water and change into shorts+lay in bed)
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I dreamt of my former best friend today and woke up crying. She froze me out of her life 2 years ago and I still don't understand why. I can take emotional distance from anything else yet this creeps up on me once in a while to ruin my day.
#idk man I'm just feeling sad and lonely#like i didn't even do anything like wallowing while awake this time i just woke up with my brain being like#Yeah wasn't it nice when you still hung out with someone you basically wanted to platonically marry? Sucks that doesn't happen anymore huh.#Like Yeah does is actually? fuck you too?#i mean there's still our other friend who's been studying abroad for a few years. she should be back for good this summer#but her family moved across the country in the main time so she's not even near me#and it was always the three of us against the world. it feels like something broke there with her too. that's unfair to her ik#but i used to base part of my mental health on the solid base knowledge that my friends loved me and that pillar crumbled under my feet#like i think she loves me. but do i know? i thought so but apparently sometimes people you love *do* just get tired of you and leave#like huh who knew. seems my social distrust was right all along!#like there's no trust there anymore and i can't mister up the same strong feelings even if she *literally didn't do anything*#it's genuinely not her fault and I'd never tell her that either#it's just... every time i think about this for a moment i understand how people must feel when their partner of a decade cheats on them#it just fundamentally changes your ability to depend on other people and it isn't fair to anyone involved
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technically void & ryuusei have the potential to be yet another toxic relationship couple bc it can be read that theyre only using each other not to mention the massive power imbalance that comes with deities. BUT they are my little guys & i say their feeling are genuine.
ryuusei's only real friends are the trio & nuria. they dont always get along well with the seasonal deities & they have basically a celebrity status so they're used to not trusting normal people knowing anything they say can and will be taken out of context and nothing is private - if one person hears it theyre going to spread it online at the least- so while theyre friendly theyre very careful.
void & ryuusei are actually friends first & its only after void unknowingly proves they arent the type to spread rumors or repeat things online that ryuusei finally starts to drop their guard thinking theyre finally getting a real friend until they start catching feelings
void on the other hand is gachikoi they loved ryuusei since before the two met but its also the case the idealized image they had of ryuusei doesnt even compare to the real thing so they find themself falling all over again as they open up more.
but like as it stands void doesnt think they deserve anything good & ryuusei still doesnt want to get super close to anyone so its likely neither would actually act on their feelings. if they did tho itd be that type of "nothing else matters" situation until they actually have to deal with the consequences of their actions
#they want the best for each other. like actually.#their relationship is no where near whatever the cats have going on but theyre not actively making each other worse either#there u go guys this is the one nice thing im giving void and im not even sure i want to fully give it to them#i also feel like i need to remind u that being a star ryuusei lives primarily in space#which also makes this funnier to me. sorry they cant attend the press conference this weekend in their few hours on the planet#theyre too busy ditching everyone & everything to meet up with some sad person in the middle of nowhere#anyway im really tired goodnight we'll see how much of this i change later#but its been pretty consistent for the past year or so so who knows
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