#chance for a monster to try to beat the shit outta you when fishing

[monodramatic-cannibal]

not utmv/utau related

I would sell my soul to have Dredge but co-op. But like an official game not a mod.

Like I just think it would be so much fun, like each player has their own boat, there's no name tags and more mimic type enemies to lure you in. In game proximity voice chat also sounds super fun, just yelling at each other.

Genuinely sounds like such a fun game to mess with your friends in, e.g. leading enemies to them, ramming their boats maybe more tools in the game which can mess with friends.

Just give me a silly stylized horror fishing co-op game.

[chezforshire]

Ever since they got into the meteor, Rose has been slowly slipping money towards Dave pretty regularly.

The first time it happened was right after.... That mess and they were about to settle for a three year journey through a whole lotta nothing. Dave took one look at Kanaya, then turned to Rose with an outstretched hand. She sighs at him and gives him 10 dollars she found in her syladex.

Another time was when Dave found Rose in the common room of the meteor reading with Kanaya. Wouldn't have been anything note worthy if his sister wasn't all pressed up to Kanaya's side and reading from the same book. He coughs to get noticed, and as Kanaya greets him, Rose looks at him, then her position, and sighs heavily. She gives him 10 more bucks.

The money really means nothing. They're gods that killed the world where it would have meant something and are traversing through space and time to beat the shit outta some skull dude or fish woman, depending on who you ask.

It was the principle of the damn thing. They've talked about how stupid it is to alchemize dollars (and how annoying of a process that was) and that they could just change it up to stupid shit like chores or the chance to have a picture of you framed next to the Mayor's. But nah, it was what they talked about all those years ago and fuck if the StriLondes aren't people of their words. It keeps biting them in the ass, but that's a problem they'll deal with when presented.

Point is, Dave has steadily gained much more (obsolete) money in three years than he would have with a below minimum wage job for a teenager his age.

The very last time he gets himself his 10 dollars is on Rose and Kanaya's wedding. He was Rose's best man and that was a position he had to fight everyone for. (Not really, Roxy was his only opponent and even then she just let him have it because she wasn't exactly sure what a momdaughter's position should be traditionally and he had the least confusing role as ectobrother.) (He does counter that Rose is literally marrying an alien vampire woman so tradition can fuck it but as it goes they just let that be.)

He stands by Rose's side just like Karkat is doing for Kanaya. And when the vows come up and Kanaya finished her very Kanaya Mayam Is A Sap speech, Rose smiled at her soon-to-be-wife before cutting a weary glance at him.

Everyone expected her speech to be so long and winding and basically trying to say 'I love you' in the most roundabout and vague way that you'd need a whole professional team of excavators to dig it up. But nah, she just smiled at Kanaya then turned slightly to Dave.

"I hate you so much for practically predicting my whole romantic life with my hotter than LOHAC alien best friend through a series of bets. Rose 'Monster Fucker' Lalonde has been bested and here's your final 10 dollars." She reaches into her suit and slides him the money. There is a moment of confusion for everyone then Rose, to everyone's further surprise, just murmurs a quick "I love you so god damn much Kanaya," and pulls her into a kiss that tried it's darn hardest not to be above PG13 while shoving all her love in it.

John, who was officiating, just laughs and announces them married and everyone starts screaming and hollering and it's a mess and it's exactly what those 10 dollars in Dave's pocket predicted all those years ago.

[callmewynchan]

Womb to Tomb.

1.Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to twenty.

Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to thirty.

Steve Rogers would be lucky to live to forty.

Sometimes, Steve Rogers thought that he should probably live to a hundred and fifty, just to spite the doctors who deduced that he would have about five to ten more years of life expectancy.

They said he would die young, and he said otherwise. He was gonna grow up and marry his best friend and adopt ten puppies and live out of sheer stubborn will.

'Sheer stubborn will and friendship.That was all he had going for him.'

Or maybe it wasn't just the stubbornness. Maybe the super soldier serum had to do something with it.

The super soldier serum had to do with everything, or else he wouldn't be stuck in the 21st century like a flabbergasted puppy(see above) in the middle of New York Traffic.

2.Being stuck in the middle of New York traffic was not Steve's fault. Neither was the alien attack. Neither was wrecking almost half of New York-okay, that was partly his fault, his and the avengers. But well, what could you do.

He was stuck out of time with no way of getting back to 'home' (and really he doubted home existed anymore.), and all he had now was 70 years of backpay from his bank account and a shield issued apartment and a floor in the newly christened avengers tower.

Damn it all, he didn't want any of that-maybe aside from the apartment. He just wanted to retire and live out the rest of his life in relative peace.But that couldn't be, because peace had been left behind in the last century and all he had now were shield issued therapists asking "How's adjustment going, Captain Rogers?"

Adjustment was going fine. Of course it was, taking it from someone who crashed a plane into the Arctic and woke up wishing he was dead.

3. He wished he was dead. Sometimes. When he woke up in the middle of the night and he thought that he was still in a tent in the middle of Ww2 and Bucky was fast asleep against his back. And then he washed his face and looked in the mirror and realised that Bucky was gone, he had been gone since that fiasco of a mission to the Alps and all his dreams of a nice suburban life had been washed down the metaphorical drain.

At least it was some consolation that the LGBT community was less looked down upon in this century and maybe some other Steve and some other Bucky somewhere out there could have their nice happy ending.

A happy ending wasn't for this Steve. This Steve had nothing left but the serum and the good fight. And so he could do nothing but fight. He had to pick up his shield and carry on like everything was alright.

It wasn't.

4. He had always had Bucky. Even when he had nothing, he had Bucky.

Bucky was the one constant in his life among a midst of sickness and asthma and bruises and all kinds of other troubles a 1940s brooklyn boy could have. Steve had nothing, in that period between Sarah Rogers death-bless her soul-and Captain America, and yet he still had something, could still pick himself up because he had Bucky.

There was no before, nor after. There was just Bucky. And so, it shouldn't come off as a surprise that Captain America dropped his shield through a hole in the bottom of a crashing helicarrier and let his best friend turned pyscho assassin punch the shit outta him.

'I'll be with you till the end of the line.' Bucky had promised, like they were some old couple getting married with rings twisted from tuna cans. And if the metaphorical end of the line meant getting slapped black and blue like meat in a sack, then so be it.

"I'm with you till the end of the line." Steve Rogers told the Winter Soldier, and in that moment, he could see Bucky shining through the horror in his gaze, and he could have died right then, right there, because Bucky was there and he recognized him.

5.Bucky Barnes was the winter soldier. The winter soldier was Bucky Barnes. They were the same, and different, and frankly Steve didn't really care. Because that was what 'the end of the line meant'. He wouldn't care if Bucky was an assassin, or had no memories, or even some kind of fish monster with a mouth for a head(that he wasn't). He would still take the chance to get his friend, lover, Patrocles to his Achilles back, because Bucky was here, in this time and age, and maybe 'home' wasn't lost in a ravine in the last century after all.

"Man. I think you're obsessed." Sam tells him after his gazillionth 2am phone call to cry and vent. Steve doesn't deny it, and Sam doesn't not sympathize,and if the two of them buy way too much takeout and beer and just drown their sorrows, then its fine. Because Sam understands him(Riley, right?)

If Steve punches Hydra agents with more force than is needed, its also fine, because he can be sure that Bucky is on his own murder massacre field trip through Hydra bases on the other side of that world. (Well, either that, or visiting the Grand Canyon.)

Bucky rambles about newspapers in Steve's shoes when they find him, when Steve was expecting a cold wasteland of a person with stabby stabby instincts. Bucky laughs at him instead, looking way too haunted, and Steve wanted to give him a kiss that was long overdue (like that dance he owed Peggy.), but Sam was there, and that kiss could wait a bit longer, until after those damned Accords went to hell.

6.The Accords went to hell. The Avengers went to hell. Steve wasn't sure if there was any part of his life that did 'not' go to hell.

Bucky. Maybe Bucky. But apparently there was a flip switch in his best guy's brain that turned him back into a assassin, and that ended up with Steve, Bucky, Sam on one side of a airport, and Tony, Rhodey and Vision on the other.

Either you take your best friend, or you take your team. You could never have both.

'Brooklyn alley fights were never this traumatic.' Steve bemoaned when they were in a jet heading for Siberia and Bucky was going like 'Am I worth all this' and the friends that had not abandoned them were in a prison in the middle of literal no where.

Bucky was worth all this.He reflected as he flung his shield and his name down at Iron Man's feet and walked away. He was worth everything Steve could give him and more.

Steve Rogers was not Captain America. Steve Rogers was that 90 pound asthmatic from Brooklyn who had luck and a best friend named Bucky Barnes.

7.Bucky goes back into cyrofreeze, and Steve thinks he should have expected it. Steve had a 70 year long coma in the Arctic, and Bucky had had a couple of naps in a box, and Bucky hated getting woken up, like 'Stevie go away, it's too early for this shit.'

Bucky goes back into cyrofreeze, and Steve's okay with that, even though it means he'll miss Bucky when he goes on missions without him. But when he wakes up, they can skype all they like and he can watch Bucky exclaim' Do you know they have flying cars now? '

' Those are pods. 'Shuri deadpans in the background.

Then war comes back around way too quickly, and Steve reunites with his best friend-lover-what even are they now just to face another fight. Steve and Bucky, against the world, like it used to be in the old times.Only this time, they were not side by side and Bucky was hefting a machine gun with one hand and a-was that a raccoon-with the other and Steve was playing 'I can do this all day' with a big purple alien with a hoard of jewels.

Thor didn't aim for the head, and Thanos snaps his fingers, and Steve wasn't blaming anyone but himself when Bucky disappears before his eyes with a 'Steve' on his lips. This was deja vu, like 'home' dropping away into a ravine in the alps.

This was deja vu, because 'home' was dust on the ground of a Wakandan battlefield and once again there was no body for him to cry over.

They never had that kiss, did they.

8. Steve mourned. Bucky was gone and Sam was gone and half of the world was gone and he-they had failed.

The Avengers were supposed to protect the world, and they had done such a great job of that. Not.

He was mourning, and in a state of on off depression, nevermind the fact that he headed a therapy group that was supposed to tell people to move on. He couldn't move on, and neither could any of them-except for Tony, who still had Pepper and a kid in some countryside. Nat was still running missions as far as he knew, Bruce was MIA, Clint was MIA, Thor was sulking in a hovel, and anybody who was not missing or sulking was trying their best to stay calm and rebuild.

This was what had become of the Avengers and co. And he was damn pleased when Scott Lang showed up with his theories and a ravening hunger for sandwiches and beat some hope into all of them.

9. Time Travel was their best bet. And it kind of worked, if they did not mess up, again.

They sent everyone out, and Steve and Tony nearly fucked things up for good. There was a loki running around in an alternative timeline, a Hydra that thought Cap was Hydra, and a Cap that knew Bucky was alive.

"We got one more chance." Tony tells him, all that seriously, and Steve feels like he had gotten slammed by a brick wall(he had a lot of experience) when he sees Peggy back in the 1970s, with a photo of 90 pound him on her desk and a photo of her family next to that. Peggy had moved on and was married and had gotten a life and maybe Steve should think about doing the same when they figured everything out.

When they figured everything out, it became another war, because somehow Thanos from another timeline had hacked onto their ride back to their timeline and Steve was so tired of fighting. But maybe the fight would be worth it, just another 'I can do this all day' with a broken shield and thor's hammer, when those that had been dusted charged through glowing magic wormholes and back onto the plane of existence.

And there was Bucky, with his metal arm and machine gun and that look that said 'Steve, you did a load of stupid things when I was gone, didn't you?' And Steve thought that all the stupid things they had done were worth it, because the world was saved and Thanos's armies were gone and there were no more Mad Titans in this timeline.

Iron Man-No, Tony Stark was gone.

Bucky and Steve were both alive, and this was the end of an era.

10. There was a funeral, and all that came after that. Steve was tasked with taking the stones back to whereth they came from, and as always, Bucky was by his side.

They were in the Howling Commandos together, they found this century together and like that museum exhibit said-'Inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield.', so hell if Steve was doing this alone.

Steve said his goodbyes and Sam was like 'Don't pick too many fights, man.' with that unknowing glint in his eye that said he'll be seeing them in 5 seconds.

It would be five seconds for Sam, and for Steve and Bucky-Mind Stone, Space Stone, Time Stone, Reality Stone, Power stone, Soul stone(Hello, Schmidt.), Brooklyn.

Steve was sure that Sam would have fits when he found Steve's shield and a letter in a cardboard box right outside Sam's room. Bucky had scoffed into the crook of Steve's neck when he told him what he had done and Bucky said 'It's a wonder Sam puts up with you, with all the dumb things you do.'

Steve was even surer that Sam would had some sort of heart attack when he turned around to see Steve and Bucky sitting on a bench not far away from the Time travel point, all old and gray and wrinkled and cryptic messenger of the lord like.

But it was worth it. Because this was the end of a era and Steve and Bucky could go home after the long, long war and have their happy ending with tin can rings and ten puppies.

They could wake up to 1950s mornings and vinyl music and alley fights and smoke tasting kisses and Steve stepping on Bucky toes when they danced in their apartment. And one day, he would definitely wake up to Bucky groaning. 'Stevie, you have white hair. You're getting old.' and that would be all he wanted in life.

He would live to a hundred and fifty just to spite the doctors in his youth. He would live to a hundred and fifty with Bucky just to spite all the things that pushed them down.

Captain America was a legend. The Winter Soldier was a ghost story.

Steve and Bucky were just best friends, lovers, on schoolyard to the battlefield to the future and back again.

From womb to tomb, they were just two Brooklyn boys, lost in time.

P. S. Name inspired by this fic on ao3. Content inspired by the gazillions of Post- Endgame fics, bc really the ending for Steve and Bucky was not so great and completely ooc.

[spaceyweirdo]

My experience with Breath of the Wild

“oh hey i remember that name that was a character in [x zelda game]”

“YAHAHA!”

“i’m good at vidyea games!” (immediate failure) “...i’m decent at vidyea games!”]

(doing something that uses stamina) “oh-oh, running outta breath but i, oh-oh, i got stamina"

“hey nintendo why can’t i pet the animals?? this is a huge problem. 0/10 this game is fucking unplayable”

“i’m gonna clear out this monster camp... and then i’m gonna take all their stuff”

“a blood moon! fucking finally! now i can re-fight those minibosses i killed!”

must... have... all... the... clothes...

“wait what do you mean i’ve only found 50 shrines? out of how many? ...isn’t it like, 130 or some shit? fuckin hell”

“is that a reference to [x zelda game]?”

“ocarina of time link has nothin’ on wild link. sleepin’ for 7 years? try 100, bitch”

(playing mix and match dress up with link) “this looks good with this. i’m a goddamn fashion icon. look at me, i look so good.”

i have to rescue every horse i see being ridden by a bokoblin

also 3 of my horses are rescues. the other two are the royal white horse and the giant horse

my horses are named nabooru (giant horse), legend (royal white horse), bubblegum (pink with white spots, mane dyed purple), chocolate (brown and white with black mane), and becky (brown and white with mane dyed red)

“oh look it’s a bolkolbin” “...i think they’re called bokoblins” “i know, but i like pronouncing the enemies’ names wrong. it’s a power move.”

“would you... bang a zora?” “yeah, but not the old-school zoras, 3d zelda game zoras.”

“lizer? lizer! i found a lizer!”

“i found a treeman. i found a little treeman with a leaf face”

never killing any animals unless i have to because it makes me sad

“i will pick these flowers... i will give them to my love. where is the ‘give flowers to fish prince’ button?”

“i need foods. i gotta make some foods.”

painful puns

“i’mma get all the fuckin’ memories, i swear to hylia”

taking pictures of everything

“wild link is a strong contender for prettiest link but skyward sword link is also very, very pretty”

“i got the mothafucken master sword, bitch, y’all don’t stand a chance against me” “...are you seriously using the master sword on a bokoblin camp?” “it makes me feel epic, shut up!”

“...oh my god the divine beasts are named after characters from previous games. how did i not see this sooner? medoh, medli; rudania, darunia; naboris, nabooru; ruta, ruto...” “i do not recognize any of those names.” “you are a disgrace and i demand that you go change out of that zelda shirt right now”

“oh... great... more goop... more ganon goop...” “please do not call it that. it’s blight”

“you’re wearing the gerudo clothes, you going to lesbian town?” “yeah, you wanna come with? maybe you could find a gf” “a gf twice my height? yeah”

referring to every enemy/animal as a/n “[adjective] boy/girl”, such as calling chuchus “jiggly boys”, or calling lizalfos “jumpy/hoppy boys”

i think the chuchus are cute in every game except oot/mm, but my siblings do not agree

gets a new outfit; immediately goes to hateno village to see if i can dye it a different color

yells FIGHT ME at an enemy and then almost immediately gets destroyed

makes a cake after every boss i beat to celebrate my victory

“what the fuck am i supposed to be doing here?”

singing nonsense/silly lyrics to the music

“this is a cool weapon/shield so i can never use it ever or it’ll break and who knows if/when i’ll ever find another one? i’m gonna display it in my house”

the fucking motion-control puzzle shrines can go fuck themselves. or rather, the monks who made the motion-control puzzles can go fuck themselves

whenever a guardian spots me i yell (robot voice) “ENEMY SPOTTED. DESTROY. DESTROY.”

“man, how fucking awesome and weird would it be if humans could have like, 15 hearts, and they regenerate just by like, taking medicine or resting? you get hurt and you’re just like, damn it there goes one heart, better have some milk”

“oh nice, a shrine.”

“has there ever been... a zelda game without the triforce?” “the triforce has been in every zelda game except majora’s mask, i think. and it may have been in majora’s mask, like just the image of it on a shield or something, i don’t remember. but majora’s mask is in termina and the triforce is a hyrule thing so i don’t think the triforce was in majora’s mask” “isn’t there even a reverse triforce in link between worlds?” “yeah, the ecrofirt.”