#ch: lucas lallemant

[wwasted]

tell me that you're still mine, tell me that we'll be just fine even when I lose my mind

[officiallynuts]

A/N: Hi there! It’s been so long since I’ve written anything, like really written anything. and so I’m going to pop in with a little fanfic for you guys. So I’m going to start this off with a little fic of Elu from Skam France! (Yes, I know, cliche ship to start with but I would be more than happy to do the others as well if anyone would like me to! Even the friendships too! Or when my own inspiration strikes. Anyway, enough rambling, sorry). So I hope you guys enjoy! 

(Note: I do not own the characters. All credit goes to the creators and showrunners of Skam France) 

Word Count: 2,888.

Dark. Never-ending darkness. Reaching out all around him. All-consuming, gripping hold of his heart. Tightly, squeezing, never letting go. No release for the wicked. He couldn't breathe, couldn't feel, could barely move. All he felt was cold. Cold as everything was a slush, moving slowly as if he were underwater. No sense of what was up, nor down, he had no choice but to go forward. But there was a force pushing him back, it made him grow weak. Tired, too tired to move anymore. And so he floated. Arms held out beside him, hair floating up as he felt himself sink. Lower and lower, as his visioned blurred. He felt his last breath escape through his lips in a bubble, rippling away as he felt too weak to reach for it. Too weak to do anything but close his eyes one last time.

Hands. Hands were the first thing he felt. And soon they were all around him, sliding around his chest in a strong grip, pushing against him till he had no choice but to open his eyes, his mouth opening in surprise, feeling the gasp engulf him as water rushed through his turning blue lips. Blue was all he saw when his vision cleared, blue, maybe gray as well, eyes and brown hair that glowed like caramel as a light shone behind his savior. Closer the light came, till he was suddenly able to spit out the water he collected. Gasping for air, he let the hands led him to shore. Where his panicking friends were yelling out his name.

"Lucas! Merlin, are you okay?!" Worried voices called out as more arms helped pull him out of the water and to the soft grass. The drowning boy, Lucas, feeling as blue as his own eyes and scarf that felt like was strangling him, only coughed in response as he shivered harshly. He could barely speak, barely move. Even as everyone longed for him to say something, anything, to show that he was already. But he wasn't. Lucas was entranced in shock.

"The scarf." A rough, new yet familiar, voice spoke calmly. Possibly the only calm one there; Lucas appreciated that for a moment. Only a split moment, as he found a distraction. The body of his savior kneeling in front of him, hands reaching for his neck. Slowly, as if not to startle the shivering boy, he unraveled the scarf around his neck and laid it aside. "Lucas.. you're okay now. Can you breathe?"

Breathe, right, he could do that, Lucas thought to himself as he felt another wave of shaking cold rush through him. Closing his eyes, he tried to push through everything and focus. Focus... fo-

"Focus, Lucas," The voice continued as if he could read the other's mind. There you go, you're doing great. So great, Lucas. Yann, get me my wand, it's in my robes." His voice took on a demanding turn, still as soft but left no room for argument.

"W-wha..." Lucas was able to rasp out as he felt his breath coming back to him. He watched with wide eyes as his savior took the wand that was held out to him, then proceeded to wave it over Lucas's body slowly with murmurs of spells. Gasping out, Lucas felt his clothes dry as well as heat rushing back to him. He could feel the heat rushing to his face, turning his cheeks a slight pink. Feeling warm all over, like he was never in a cold, black, lake in the first place.

"There we go." His savior spoke softly, again, as he set his wand aside, his hand reaching out to hold Lucas by his cheek. "How are you feeling?"

"Better..." Lucas breathed out, sighing as he slowly pushed himself in a sitting up position. "What happened?" He frowned, looking from blue/gray eyes to the eyes of his friends standing around with freaked out eyes.

"The idiot-"  Arthur started, pushing up his falling glasses as he sighed with a shake of his head.

"Hey!"

"Got excited when he saw a certain blonde-haired Hufflepuff and tried to impress her with a spell, only to have it backfire as always." He continued as if he wasn't interrupted, sending a look to the one who yelled out. Basile, who was frowning at the other.

"You were walking towards the Lake, we were supposed to meet for a study session, and you walked right into the spell. Sent you flying." Imane, the only one who probably took their studies as seriously as he did, pipped in as she knelt to look him over. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Imane. Really. Don't feel like frostbite so that's a plus." Lucas shook his head, grateful for his friend's concern as he rested a hand on her shoulder for a moment.

"Speaking of which," his last friend, and maybe best friend out of them all, Yann, spoke as he turned to the boy who had saved him. "We have Demaury to thank for that. Seriously, man. You reacted faster than any of us. How did you even know it was going to happen?"

Demaury. Lucas knew the name. And the face. He was two years older, a Slytherin that came in the middle of the year mysteriously. He was quiet, kept to himself, but was one of the friendliest around. And maybe most beautiful, too, Lucas thought to himself. Everyone loved him, wanted to know him. Even Lucas did, secretly. But he could never suck up the courage to speak to him. Someone as... entrancing as Eliott Demaury was, didn't become friends with boys like simple Lucas.

"Oh." Eliott coughed as he shifted in a more comfortable sitting position. "I was drawing when I heard Basile yelling out his spell. Saw Lucas walking, put two together and... yeah. Here we are." He shrugged almost sheepishly, almost shy like as he turned his head. Like he wanted to avoid everyone looking at him. But his eyes met a certain set of blue, Lucas's.

"Well, still. Thank you for saving our Lulu! We'd be lost without him." Basile cut in with a wide smile on his face, only to frown again when Arthur reached to hit his arm.

"No thanks to you! Come on, you owe Lucas an apology dinner. And to explain to the professors why he won't be in class for the day." Arthur didn't give him a chance to deny the request, turning the curly hair boy around and away from the crowd. Back to the castle.

"What? I'm not?" Lucas frowned, watching his two friends leave before looking to the others.

"Are you kidding? Lu, you nearly drowned! Take the day. Imane will fight off any angry teachers." Yann scolded lightly, patting him on the shoulder as he turned his body to leave as well. "I'll see you at dinner, yeah?" Waiting for the nod of approval from Lucas, Yann looked from him to the last boy of the crowd, Eliott, then back at him to wiggle his eyebrows once before walking away.

"Feel better, Lallemant. I need you in top shape for the potions assignment next week." Imane talked as if she was demanding, but Lucas didn't feel threatened. He knew better. He could see the soft, relieved, look in her eyes as she stood up and left.

"She secretly likes me, I promise." Lucas let himself joke, to break the silence that seemed to take over once there were two left. He turned to the other and almost felt his breath leave him once again. Eliott was looking at him, staring at him. So close, so intensely, he felt like someone was casting the heat charm on him all over again. "So, um.."

"You scared me." Eliott started, not once looking away. Like the thought of taking his eyes off the boy physically hurt him. "Seeing you fly into the water like that... I didn't think I was going to reach you in time."

"But you did." Lucas put in, straightening his back to watch him. "You saved me, Eliott... Thank you. Seriously." He whispered by the end, his eyes wide as he felt the gratitude rush all over him. There he was, Eliott Demuary, saving Lucas Lallemant even though the two never met before. Never before now.

"I only wish I had gotten there earlier, save you the trouble from almost drowning. Before you hit the water, if I had run faster, or cast a levitation spell, or-" Excuse me, what? Was he seriously trying to blame himself right now?

"Eliott, no. Stop." Lucas shook his head slowly. "You couldn't have gotten there in time, I'm sure. Diving after me in the water... was probably the safest way. Who knew what spell would react to Bas's. It could have made things worse." Lucas felt himself wanting to reach out, to reassure the other. But he kept his hands to himself. He didn't deserve to touch.

"Still I-"

"Saved my life, thanks to your quick thinking," Lucas butted in before he could finish speaking. "I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for you. Thank you, Eliott. Take it." He spoke strongly, not giving any room for a rebuttal as he moved to stand up. Eliott stuttered as he scrambled to stand up, taking Lucas's arm to help him. Just in case he would fall. If Lucas was shocked by his actions, which he was, then he didn't show it.

"I'm not sure you should be standing right now.." Eliott frowned, looking down at the boy. Which was something else, their height difference. Lucas knew he was shorter than others, and usually, he hated it. Still did. But having to look up at Eliott, who still had that glowing light behind him, he found that he didn't mind as much.

"Probably not. Which is why I should get to my dorm, to lay down." Lucas informed with a small smile, shaking his head. "I could use a nap after the near-death experience. And I'm sure you have a class you should go to."

"I can skip it." Eliott put in quickly, shaking his head as he took a small step to him. "Let me walk you back. Just to be sure."

"I.." Lucas bit his lip, licking them once, before shaking his head. Now that the shock was running down, back came the wall. Lucas could feel himself closing in, could feel everything coming back. So used to admiring Eliott from afar. But now he was so close he could just reach out and touch him if he wanted. But Lucas couldn't. He didn't have the right. They didn't know each other.

"Please." Eliott gave it one last try, sounding like he was practically begging the other. For what, Lucas didn't know. More time with him? He wished. But that couldn't be it.

"Alright." Lucas finally caved, letting himself smile a little when Eliott shot him a blinding grin. Biting his lip, he let the older gather their things, handing everything back to Lucas. All but the Ravenclaw scarf, Eliott rolled it up before putting it into his own bag. Saying he knew of a spell that would never let it get wet or something like that. He didn't know, Lucas still felt a little dazed by everything.  But after gathering their things, together they started their journey back to the castle.

The walk back was quiet, mostly. Lucas could feel himself getting awkward, not knowing what to say. But he also kept stealing glances at the other. If this was a once in a lifetime experience for him, being so close to Eliott, then he didn't want to miss a moment. He wanted to cherish it while it lasted.

Eliott, on the other hand, was secretly waiting for the other to speak. Come on, Lucas, what does it have to take to get you to talk to me like you do with your friends, he thought to himself, shooting the other silent looks. He, himself, didn't want the time to end. He wanted it to stretch on forever if he could make it. But as it always seemed to happen, time went by fast. Too fast. The portrait leading to the Ravenclaw common room was right up ahead, coming closer into view. The painting watching the two students come to it, no doubt waiting to speak the perfect riddle for them to answer.

"Well, this is me." Lucas cleared his throat, coming to a stop. He turned to Eliott, once again having to tilt his head up to look at him. "Thank you for walking me back, though you didn't have too."

Eliott, letting out a soft, almost disbelieved laugh, shook his head as he stepped forward. He reached up, taking a strand of Lucas's hair and brushed it back. "It was my pleasure, Lucas. Thank you for letting me." He spoke softly, letting his voice drop into a whisper. Like he was sharing a secret for just the two of them. "I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Yeah.." Lucas whispered, his eyes had fallen shut the moment Elliot touched his hair. But the snapped open when he heard the latter take steps away. If he was going to leave, Lucas needed to at least watch him go. If this was going to be the last that they saw each other, despite the promise just made, then he wanted to memorize everything about the moment.

"Good." Eliott smiled at him, still taking small steps backward, not wanting to look away as he left the younger boy standing there. But he soon came to a point where he had to turn around. But as he did, he was stopped by a voice calling his name.

"Eliott." Lucas started, pressing his lips together with a small frown as he waited for him to turn back. There was a question on the tip of his tongue, ever since he came to his senses. Ever since he realized who saved him, and that they knew him. Everyone knew Eliott, everyone always knew the new kids. But how did he know him? "How did you know my name?" He finally asked, letting out a breath as if the question hurt him to say out loud. He probably sounded crazy. Merlin, he probably scared him off now.

"Lucas Lallemant. 6th year Ravenclaw. Bluest eyes I have ever seen in my life," Eliott started with a small laugh. The silly boy. How could he not know? He could he not see before? "You were the first I saw when I accidentally bumped into you in the hall on the way to the Great Hall. You were with your friends, so you didn't see me. But I saw you. I only saw you. And since then, you are all I can think about. Drove Imane insane until I got her to cave, telling me your name."

Lucas was speechless after that, not knowing what to say. His lips fell open slightly to show his surprise, watching as Eliott gave him a soft smile and laugh.

"I'll be seeing you, Lucas. Have a good nap." Sparing him from what Eliott could guess would be a stuttering mess if the flush to his cheeks was any indication. He gave the boy a wave before finally leaving, walking away down the hall.

Slowly, Lucas started to smile to himself and turned, walking to the painting of a bronze eagle waiting for him. Answering the riddle after a second thought, Lucas walked through the opening portrait, and the next thing he knew Lucas was in his bed. He felt like he was in a trance, replying the day, the encounter, over and over in his head. Not believing any of it, but the missing blue scarf was the only indication that it was real.

If it wasn't the scarf, it was the warmth that enclosed around him. Where Eliott had touched him before, from inside the water, to his cheek, to his arms, everywhere. He never felt so warm before. It was mind-blowing and soothing. And cold, as the reminder that he wasn't near the other, made him feel cold all over again.

"Oh.. I'm in trouble," Lucas whispered to himself with a sigh, already feeling his heartbeat a little faster the more he thought of the Slytherin. While he was used to that reaction, it was different now. He had the sound of a voice to go with the mental image of him, and a feeling of touch to go along with. It made his heart race faster than before. That alone scared him, almost terrified him, how affected he was by the first meeting.

"Okay.. okay. Breathe. You need to get some sleep. Calm down." Lucas continued to whisper, sighing as he shifted. Moving to lay on his side, he closed his eyes. It took some time, Lucas never did fall asleep easily. His mind was always racing. Thought after thought. Daydream to nightmare, whatever it may be, sleep was hard for him to come under. And a nap was no different, only this time his mind only had one thing in mind. Blue/gray eyes. Eyes so intense, they somehow lulled the boy into a slow sleep. And soon, Lucas was out. Dreaming of his savior, saving him even in his sleep.

[mvrdockmatt]

On va faire minute par minute

[fatoujallovv]

elu + dancing at parties

[choupichoups]

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.15 (FINAL)

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

Epilogue will be posted soon! Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported this fic ♥

::::

Whoever thought of going to the skate park in this weather is down right insane. It was probably Basile. Yeah, it was most definitely Basile’s brilliant idea. 

And Lucas is a downright moron for agreeing to it. 

He hears Yann whoop loudly after Eliott does a successful trick— Lucas has no clue what it was even though his eyes have been glued on his boyfriend since they arrived. Eliott refuses to put his jacket back on, saying that he runs way too hot to be wearing it to the park, so Lucas finds himself clutching the jacket in between his arms, looking for the perfect opportunity to throw the damn thing over Eliott’s stubborn head. 

Because apparently this is his life now. Chasing after an errant boyfriend to protect him from getting a cold. 

“Eliott,” he calls out for the umpteenth time, feeling a brand new appreciation for his mother; this must’ve been how she felt like whenever he’d ignore the sound of her voice from the play structure way back when. “Eliott!” he repeats, louder now. 

Thankfully, they’re the only ones stupid enough to be there so Lucas doesn’t have to worry about any dirty looks thrown his way for causing such a ruckus. 

Eliott skates up to him eventually, grin wide and arms held out as if he hadn’t been ignoring Lucas’ voice for at least half an hour. Lucas dodges an attempt for a hug, huffing as he reaches around Eliott to place the jacket back over his shoulders— the slant of the shallow bowl Lucas is standing over thankfully makes up for their difference in height. 

He feels extra vindicated when Eliott is unsuccessful in trying to hide a sniffle. “I don’t care if it’s cramping your style,” Lucas says, tugging on the lapels of the jacket until Eliott’s properly covered in it. “You’re not going to wear just a shirt in negative degree weather.”

“It’s not in the negatives yet,” Eliott mumbles but obediently slides his arms into the jacket either way. A thoughtful look falls over his face the next second and then Lucas finds himself being subjected under an exaggerated pout, complete with sad eyes and hunched shoulders. “Actually you’re right, I am cold. Keep me warm?” 

Lucas stares at him with no ounce of pity. “Go do another trick then, I’m sure the adrenaline will warm you up.” 

“But Lucas,” Eliott whines, kicking his board up when it rolls down to jostle his ankles. “I’m too tired for that.” 

“Sounds like a you problem.” Lucas ducks down, hiding a smile behind his scarf, and moves away from Eliott’s grabby hands again. He hears Eliott huff out a laugh but looking up only has him catching an eyeful of Eliott’s soft gaze, pink lips upturned into a crooked smile. Lucas doesn’t realize he’s stopped blinking until his eyes start tearing up from a cold gush of wind. 

“It is a me problem.” With one hand in his jacket pocket and the other casually holding up his board, Eliott looks every bit the professional model he could be. Lucas tightens the hood thrown over his head and tries not to think about how he must look like some dweeby sock puppet and larva hybrid in comparison. “So hug me.” 

He shakes his head, his entire upper body moving with the act from how bundled up he is. 

Eliott tilts to the side, looking wholly amused. “Please, Lulu?”

Lucas lets out a grunt, hoping Eliott can see his eyes narrowing at the use of a nickname— how dare Eliott use Lucas’ weakness against him?

“Lu?”

He hesitates but stubbornly stands his ground.

“Bab—”

Lucas barely suppresses a squeak before throwing himself at Eliott, effectively shutting him up before he could do something as dumb as calling Lucas baby right in front of their rabid friends. Well, Yann’s still out on the giant bowl teaching Basile how to skate but Arthur is right there, head buried under a scarf and a winter jacket, but there nonetheless. 

Eliott has the gall to chuckle as he basks in the embrace— given under duress, thank you very much, but warm enough what with Lucas’ gazillion layers piled on one after the other. 

“You’re so—” Eliott’s voice is muffled from where his face is buried in Lucas’ shoulder. “Squishy.” He squeezes his arms tight as if to prove a point, like he’s squashing a teddy bear rather than a human being. Lucas feels that he’s in the right to smack his boyfriend upside the head, Eliott’s pitiful yelp notwithstanding. 

“That’s cause I dress for the weather unlike a certain idiot.” Standing on his toes makes him taller from where they’re at so Lucas moves his arms until they fall comfortably around the back of Eliott’s neck, preventing the wind from getting through the exposed skin there. He feels Eliott shiver before a smile is pressed into his neck and lets himself be used as a human heater. 

“If you skate with us, you wouldn’t be so cold.” 

Lucas knows that but he also resents that notion. “No thank you.”

“Does Lucas Lallemant not know how to skateboard?” 

“Does Eliott Demaury want another smack to the head?” 

Eliott laughs, starting to swing them side to side. “Just admit you can’t, Lucas.”

“Can so.” Lucas watches Basile fall on his butt for the thousandth time that day and winces in sympathy. Yeah, no, been there done that. There’s a soft rustling from under him and frankly, Eliott’s arms tightening around his waist should have been a clear warning, but Lucas doesn’t actually react to anything until Eliott hoists him up clear off the ground with a satisfied cackle. “Hey! Wait, what are you— Eliott?!” 

Lucas, rather afraid for his life, clings onto Eliott’s shoulders, screaming close mouthed when he hears Eliott drag his skateboard back by his feet. 

“We’re going for a ride.”

“No the fuck we are not, put me down right now!”

“Come on, just a little bit, it’s gonna be fun.”

“Falling and cracking my head open isn’t my idea of fun.” He squirms in Eliott’s grip, feeling kicking out in hopes of feeling the gravel back underneath them. “If you get on that board right now I swear you’re… you’re grounded.” 

That gets a delighted laugh out of Eliott. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Time out too.”

“Who are you, my mother?”

“No, but I’ll tell my mother that you attempted my murder this very day if you don’t put me down.” 

Grumbling protests aside, Eliott’s pretty quick in relenting after that. He walks the both of them up and out of the ramp and only then does Lucas’ heart stop fucking palpitating. God, he’s going to get a heart attack from one of Eliott’s stunts one day. 

Eliott does bring his board up with them, however, and Lucas hears the scratch of its wheels as he kicks it up the pavement. To his credit, Eliott puts him down as per demanded, but the unsteady surface below his feet clues him in that his asshole boyfriend didn’t quite place him on the ground. 

Thankfully, being best friends with Yann ‘Skater Boy’ Cazas does come with perks; Lucas hadn’t been lying about knowing how to ride a stupid skateboard. 

“I’m sorry, please don’t make your mom call the cops on me,” Eliott apologizes, leaning close to steal a swift kiss from Lucas’ cheek and of course Lucas readily forgives him because he’s apparently weak against cute boys who rightfully fear his mama. Very, very weak. 

He pretends to think about it though, biting back a grin as he slides his hands down to fold his fingers between Eliott’s— he’s standing all wrong on the skateboard and his balance is off so he keeps a tight grip on their connected hands to prevent any accidental wipe outs. “Hmmm, I don’t know…”

“Please. It’ll be awkward if my dad has to visit my place only to arrest me.”

Lucas pauses at that, wobbling on the board enough to probably fall over if it weren’t for Eliott’s steadying hands. “Uh, your dad’s a cop?” 

Whatever lighthearted expression had been on Eliott’s face is gone now, which is unfortunate really. Lucas and his dweeby hybrid self had been enjoying it. He knows there’s probably a conversation to be had there somewhere. Just— preferably not in this minute.

But Eliott simply nods, his calculating look melting away into a playful smile. “I let that one slip during a live once, you don’t remember?” 

And thank god for sensitive boyfriends. Lucas takes the smooth misdirection and runs with it. “Alright, let me clear this up.” He pauses for maximum dramatic effect. “Contrary to popular belief, I have not seen every single one of your posts and stories and lives. Okay, maybe I’ve seen all of your posts but I swear I’ve only seen your live once.”

“Uh huh.” 

“It’s true!” Lucas tugs on their hands, rolling himself closer to Eliott that way. He digs his chin into Eliott’s chest, looking up into those dreamy grey eyes. 

He can’t believe he just unironically used the word dreamy.

“Okay, so you’re a fake fan then.” Eliott’s smile is too soft to back up his teasing. 

Lucas straightens up, lifts his heels that minuscule bit until his lips are level with Eliott’s. “Sorry this fake fan tricked you.” 

Eliott takes it upon himself to brush the tip of their noses together, the perfect balance of gentle and fleeting that has Lucas tilting up for more. “And how is this fake fan planning to apologize?” 

Lucas huffs out a chuckle, shaking his head before slotting their lips into a small kiss. “How’s that?”

“Mm, no, do it again maybe.” 

There’s a sharp flapping sound by their feet and it distracts Lucas enough to delay the second kiss he’d been planning to deliver. He looks down only to see Arthur staring up at them, phone in hand, evidently unimpressed. Lucas had honestly forgotten about him. 

“Do you guys mind?” Arthur gesticulates between the three of them, the vague hand movements has his jacket sleeves flopping about and hitting the pavement. Lucas thinks he gets the gist of what he’s trying to say. Doesn’t mean he cares all that much though. 

“No we don’t mind, actually.” Eliott retaliates, all cheeky and faux oblivious. Lucas bursts out laughing. 

“Just like, take ten steps away from me.” Arthur sits up, shooing them away with one hand. “If I take off my glasses I won’t be able to see how loud you guys are being.” 

It’s a testament to how Lucas is trying his best shot at maturity when he doesn’t roll his eyes immediately. 

“He’s so bold.”

“It’s okay, Imane likes him back.”

“Yeah but I mean, isn’t it a bit intimidating crushing on your best friend’s younger sibling?” 

Lucas shrugs, head perched on Eliott’s shoulder as he absently looks down at Eliott’s phone, where Emir’s cataloguing exactly why he needs to be the most handsome guy at the party later so that Imane would pay attention to him. “Not if it’s Abe. He’s super nice and Emir’s a good guy too so I don’t see why they’d have a problem with it.” 

Eliott takes a moment to respond to Emir, snorting at the immediate barrage of responses he gets. “Still though, what if things go wrong? It’s scary.” 

“Shit happens.” Lucas shifts until he’s able to lay down on Eliott’s lap instead. “So you mean if Lucas 324 is Eliott 324’s best friend’s brother, he wouldn’t go for it? Cause it’s scary?”

The rapid texting above him stops, and Lucas peeks one eye open to watch the disapproving frown on Eliott’s face. “Well if that’s the case, then Eliott 324 better step up.” 

Lucas scoffs, “I’m sure every version of you is charming and perfect and ideal.”

“I can’t tell if that’s sarcasm but thank you either way.” He leans down and rains kisses all over Lucas’ face until a giggling Lucas pushes him away, insisting that his words are a hundred percent sincere. “You have way too much faith in me and my alternate selves. For all we know, Eliott 324 is a massive jerk.” 

“That’s tragic.” Lucas tugs on Eliott’s hand until he has it buried in his hair, fingers carding through the strands in soothing motions. Eliott laughs at his content sigh but he doesn’t care about the inevitable cat jokes when he’s the one who’s really winning here. “Lucas 324 doesn’t like jerks.”

“Very tragic.”

The sound of shoes hitting the metal staircase is loud in the empty building. The footsteps gain in volume the closer they approach, but Lucas doesn’t bother to open his eyes. Doesn’t move even when he hears the fire exit door unlatch with Yann’s familiar laugh following after. 

“There you are!”

“Congratulations,” Lucas says from where he’s still laying down. “You found us.”

“Shut up,” Yann grumps, leaning his board against the wall before plopping onto the floor beside him and Eliott. “Bas and Arthur are getting food, do you guys want anything?” 

Lucas only has enough energy to emit an incoherent groan, rolling over to grab his phone from where it had fallen on Eliott’s other side earlier. “Nah, we have to get going to see mama soon.” 

“Wait, Eliott’s going with you? To see her?” 

He nods, sending off a text confirming with Marie and his mom what time they want them there. “We have to bring Champ back to Marie and mama’s there with her so.” 

When Lucas turns back around, Yann’s wiggling his brows at Eliott. That combined with the giant grin splitting his face is starting to look more disturbing the longer Lucas looks at him. 

Eliott seems to share the sentiment, and he starts laughing a few seconds into their little stare off. “What?” 

“Nothing man, just glad you guys are at meet the parents level.” 

Lucas rolls his eyes, kicking at his best friend’s heel once before resting his ankle on top of Yann’s. “It’s just a casual supper thing.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“Shut your face.”

And because he’s dumb, Yann mimes putting a hand over his face, expression blank when he next uncovers it. Lucas throws a balled up thread he’d ripped off of his jeans earlier and sneaks a glance up at Eliott. They make eye contact, what with Eliott already looking down at Lucas with a large, amused smile.

“Let’s head out then?” Eliott says, then turns to address Yann, “we’ll walk with you to where Arthur and Bas went, don’t worry, can’t have you being all lonely now.” 

“Thanks, you’re so nice, Lucas would never.” Yann dodges another kick to his leg. 

“I thought I told you to shut your face?” Lucas lazily hauls himself off the floor, dusting his pants a bit before turning a confused look at Eliott when he notices him pull out a leather jacket from his backpack. “Why do you have that in there?”

Eliott eyes him like Lucas is the one acting strange. “Babe, I have to look good when we get there, first impressions are important.” 

Lucas can feel his cheeks heating up. He can also practically feel Yann’s googly eyes at the back of his head and the internal screeching reverberating through their shared braincell so he’s resolutely not looking back in that direction. At least Arthur and Basile aren’t present. 

He lets the nickname slip, though, choosing to unwind the scarf around him to wrap Eliott up in it instead. If his boyfriend insists on being unreasonable then Lucas would just have to take care of the missed details. 

The missed detail here being the fact that it’s way too fucking cold for a leather jacket, hot as it may look on Eliott. 

“Mama’s not gonna care if you look like a Calvin Klein model, Eliott.” Oh yes she will. Lucas would probably have to endure a few hours of brow raising and elbow nudging. But Eliott doesn’t need to know that. “But if you’re putting that on then you’re also wearing this scarf and that’s final, mister.” 

Eliott snickers, tugging the scarf off his neck and throwing it around Lucas before pushing the leather jacket back inside his backpack. “Okay, okay, fine, I will. And I’ll change later so it doesn’t get too cold. Happy?” 

Lucas grumpily ducks his head down into his scarf until only his narrowing eyes are visible. “Satisfactory.” 

“You know you guys act like a married couple, right?” Yann pipes up, hugging his skateboard to his chest as he leans back against the exit door.

Lucas shoves the door open and watches Yann tumble backwards with a crash. 

Lucas feels like he’s been holding his breath throughout the entire trip to Marie’s house. He’s not nervous, no, he can’t imagine his mother disliking a single thing about Eliott. But it’s not like he’s had a golden track record of significant others to introduce to his mother so he doesn’t know how these things are supposed to go. Casual as he convinces himself this whole thing is, nothing about it feels all that casual to him.

“You look like you’re about to launch yourself into outer space.” Eliott places a hand on the low of his back once they reach Marie’s front porch, thumb brushing back and forth. “I’m supposed to be the nervous one here.” 

“I’m fine,” Lucas squeaks out, highly unconvincing. At least Eliott finds it hilarious so maybe he wouldn’t be a stuttering mess. 

Marie opens the door on the second knock and immediately takes a wiggling Champ into her arms. “Come on in, boys!” She steps back to open the door wider. “Hello my little Champagne, oh I missed you too, I missed you… just leave your shoes anywhere you can find. Lorraine’s in the kitchen,” she whispers the last part with a wink towards Eliott before walking off. 

Lucas laughs a little, easing up under Marie’s presence. He waits for Eliott by the door and notices how his boyfriend’s moving slower than usual, evidently delaying the actual first meeting part of the meeting. He holds out his hand before it gets too ridiculous. 

“She’ll love you,” he says, raising his hand higher when Eliott looks up at him like a deer in the headlights. “Come on.”

And he’s right. Of course he’s right. 

His mama folds Eliott into a warm embrace the moment they’ve exchanged names, endeared as Eliott does stutter through the introductions. 

“He’s handsome,” she says to Lucas when they pass each other in the living room. And there goes the elbow nudging Lucas had predicted earlier. “Very handsome.”

“I know, mama.” He rolls his eyes, sitting on the piano bench where Champ is napping under. Eliott and Marie are deep in conversation as she shows him a photobook of her family back in Jamaica so Lucas occupies himself with the piano, quietly hitting a few keys while his eyes roam over the top for a music book. 

What he finds instead are papers with his mama and papa’s names on them. 

He snatches them off the top of the piano, skimming through the documents to try and inch out what they’re for as quickly as possible. A hand on his shoulder stops his frantic reading and Lucas looks up at his mom with eyes wide in question. 

“It’s not about the transfer if that’s what you’re thinking.” She sits on the bench beside him and flips the papers until she settles on a page with big letters jumping out from the rest. It goes without question now. 

Application (Divorce)

Divorce Order 

When Lucas remains silent, she takes the papers away from his hands and puts them back where he found them. “I think it’s time, don’t you? I brought it over for Marie to read through so…”  

Lucas still doesn’t say anything but he manages a small smile in her direction before tucking her hands in between both of his. They sit there for a bit, just looking at each other, all teary and holding hands. Lucas thinks that yeah, they really are mother and son, getting all sappy at inconvenient times of the day. 

That’s before she laughs again, clear and carefree, and untangles their hands to play a familiar tune on the piano. She glances up at Lucas with a daring smile, one eyebrow raising as if in challenge. 

Lucas bristles, sitting up properly to prove that yes, he can still give her a run for her money. He takes a deep breath, fingers landing soft on the smooth ivory, letting his hands familiarize themselves with the instrument— it’s been a long, long time since he's last played. But here, sitting beside the woman who’s patiently taught him one echoing tune at a time, there’s no doubt in Lucas’ mind that he could never forget a single piece they’ve played together. 

And it feels so good to be doing this again that it almost pushes him over the edge, almost has him straight up crying. Only almost though. 

There’s complete silence in the living room only seconds after they start, and Lucas’ skin prickles at the feeling of eyes on his back. He doesn’t let it distract him, focused on hitting the correct notes as four hands dance around the length of the piano. 

Riopy’s I love you has always been his mama’s favourite. She’d altered the tune slightly so that both her and Lucas could play it together and for him, right now, it’s never sounded better.

Later, watching Eliott enthusiastically converse with his mama about possibly joining the culinary classes she’s attending (thank god), Lucas thinks it only makes sense for Eliott to be present the moment Lucas plays that particular piece for the first time in years. 

They head out with only a few minutes to spare before the bus to Eliott’s apartment arrives. Both of their group chats are blown up with reminders that they’re all supposed to wear costumes to the party, with explicit mentions of how Eliott and Lucas are specifically not allowed to ditch the party until at least two hours into it. 

“What was that song you guys played?” Eliott asks as they settle into the back seats, huddled together for warmth. 

Lucas hides his face inside the fabric of his hood. “I don’t remember,” he says, biting his lip as he wills for the blush to die down. Maybe they should’ve played one of Chopin’s pieces instead. “I’ll look it up later.” 

Yeah. Much, much later. 

Abe had met up with them at Eliott’s so they could walk to the party together. It was apparently the only way to ensure that Eliott doesn’t cancel at the last minute. He’d complained all the way through about being left out and had even called Idris so they could ‘share their experiences as a third wheel’. 

His actions are made all the more ridiculous considering Abe is wearing a fucking banana suit to the party. 

Lucas secretly thinks that he wouldn’t have minded staying in, just him and Eliott on the couch with a movie and some snacks. 

But now he’s standing by the walls at this party, alone with the one drink he’s been nursing since the start, watching his friends jump around on the dance floor as the strobe lights cut through the dark to illuminate the wide smiles they share. 

It’s not that he’s bored. He’s just a little tired from the day he’s had and he could probably only dance as rigorously as everyone else for about five minutes before throwing the towel in. God, he’s getting old. 

Eyes searching, it doesn’t take very long for him to spot Eliott— he stands out after all. Tall and handsome even in a simple hoodie, messy head of hair bobbing along to the bass of the music. Eliott’s been swept into conversation by many, many people all night long and of course his boyfriend’s too sweet to snub them all. It seems like everyone’s constantly vying for his attention, just like that first party they’d attended together, and Lucas is still a little baffled witnessing it. He’s very quickly understanding why Eliott isn’t too fond of attending parties if this is how they always go for him. 

A loud whoop from the dance floor steals his attention and Lucas laughs at the sight of Basile flailing around in a dance battle against Abe of all people. It’s really not a good look to lose a dance battle against a walking banana. But Abe’s unfortunately just that good. 

Imane and Alexia are on the floor, collapsed in laughter. Beside them, Manon and Adam start clapping and cheering when Yann jumps to Basile’s rescue, flailing into a more acceptable dance routine that has Abe jokingly backing off, pulling Idris and Omar into the center of the circle for their turn at the dance off. Daphne is making wide eyes at Emir, poking him in the ribs hard enough to have him flinching closer to where Imane is slowly regaining her wits. Emma is at the bar struggling to balance a tray of drinks in her hands. He certainly hopes those are for the whole group rather than for her alone. 

Lucas hides what he knows must be another dumb smile on his face, watching his friends and Eliott’s friends interact like they’ve always been a huge messy group of idiots rather than only having met each other recently. Never did he allow himself to imagine that his and Eliott’s lives would merge in this way.

“What’s a beautiful guy like you doing here all alone?” Eliott whispers in his ear and Lucas is so startled he almost spills his drink on the both of them. 

But he recovers quickly, snorting at Eliott’s words. “I’m not alone, actually.” 

“Oh. No?” Eliott’s leaning on the wall beside him now, and Lucas thinks he’s the beautiful one here, so beautiful even the lights are shy as they strike flitting colours over his hair, his cheeks, his radiant eyes, his smiling lips.

“Mhm, I have boyfriend but he keeps ditching me for other people. You’ve probably seen him around.”

“Sounds like a terrible boyfriend,” Eliott says, “I suggest you break up with him and run away with me.” 

“What, right now?” Lucas plays along, discarding his drink on the first steady surface he finds. “I don’t know, he’s kinda cute.” 

“I’m cuter.”

Lucas laughs at that, hands anchoring themselves on Eliott’s shoulder as he stands on the tips of his toes. “I can’t see you clearly.” 

Eliott leans down to meet him halfway, catching his lips in a sweet kiss. Literally. He tastes like Fruitopia and somehow, that’s a funny enough thought to have Lucas melting into a heap of giggles. He feels Eliott’s amused huff against his hair before Lucas is being dragged back up, breath catching into a deeper kiss, and all thoughts of fruity drinks are quickly gone from his mind.

Warm hands insistently pull him off the wall and into Eliott’s chest, but it isn’t a hard feat anyway— it’s not like Lucas has any plans to fight against it. He brings his own hands up, sliding from shoulder to neck to the back of Eliott’s head where clumsy fingers tangle themselves into the soft strands they find there. He pulls away soon after, heartbeat off rhythm and lungs begging. His next inhale is an intoxicating mix of cologne and alcohol and Eliott. 

“Can you see me now?” 

Lucas smiles, hands moving to rest on either side of Eliott’s cheeks. Even in the dark, he’s the most precious thing Lucas has ever seen. “I see you.” 

And maybe, just maybe, Lucas number 1 did alright in this universe after all. 

[ao3feed-elu]

by lenderfeud

A series of smut one-shots of my favorite couples, Elu and Mayla. Ch. 1 - Elu Ch. 2 - Mayla and so on.

Words: 1915, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: SKAM (France)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, M/M

Characters: Eliott Demaury, Lucas Lallemant, Maya Etienne, Lola Lecomte

Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Maya/Lola, Maya Etienne/Lola Lecomte

Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff and Smut

[sunsetscurving]

CHASING STARS

Ch. 1

ao3 link

In a world where reincarnation is common and excepted, people stopped to care for a reason or how many times they already lived – they have no memory of their past life anymore.

But Lucas Lallemant can feel that this isn’t his first life, some shreds of his former life still present in his new one. He has this feeling that something from his past life tied him so much to it that he has to find it again in his new life.

Something. Or someone.

It’s been 6960 days since he last saw Lucas.

19 years and 35 days.

An eternity for some people. Nearly two decades.

But not for Eliott. For Eliott, it could have been two eternities or only some minutes. Time started to work differently for him.

All he wanted was to die when he lost him all those years ago. All he wanted was to bury himself alive or disappear into the deepest deep of hell where he belonged after all of that happened. There hasn’t been a day where stopped reproaching him for what happened and how he simple could have let it happen.

I could have saved him.

Eliott was doing his daily walk through the city when the thoughts of it all occupied him again, looking around with curiosity and trying to distract himself through that. Things changed when you were immortal, things changed a lot. And Eliott learned to see every little change, no matter if it was a new bench on the side of the street or a new person working in his favorite coffee shop. When you already lived for countless years, some tiny and minor changes could lift up your whole year.

He was tucking his hands in the pockets of his a caramel brown jacket, the hood of his hoodie hiding his messy hair and his flushed cheeks. The cold morning air felt good on his face and when he walked past the bus station, something inside him twisted, memories of forgotten times surfacing again.

There was never a minute where he didn’t think about him. Everything reminded Eliott of him, a stupid bus station making him shiver with longing.

But he’s gone and that’s your fault.

Eliott was rounding a corner now, slowly coming to a stop when he reached the college he was currently attending. Leaning against a brick wall, he was watching the students coming out of the college, chatting about their last lecture or the homework they had. He already studied a lot in his life and he didn’t need it to survive. But it would be too obvious for a boy who looked 20 years old to not do… anything. And in this way, he had a task. Something to do. A reason to stand up in the morning and not to stay in bed all day, thinking and thinking and thinking.

And suddenly, while standing at the corner and watching the students spill out of the college, Eliott’s world stopped spinning.

Oh my…

Time lost its meaning as he watched someone coming out of that building and his heart was surely not beating at all or currently jumping out of his chest, Eliott didn’t know and he didn’t care. Eliott blinked rapidly, trying to calm down. But there was no calming down – not now and not ever if this what he just saw was true.

This is not real. This is a dream. This is not real.

“Hey, Lucas. There you are”, said a boy with blonde hair and glasses, greeting the other boy with a handshake.

Eliott had heard this name so often when he was in public, swirling around at the sound of it, his heart beating too fast. The disappointment then was even worse than the possibility to see him again.

But this time, no disappointment crushed Eliott like a giant wave.

This time, his heart kept beating faster and faster and Eliott had the feeling to faint.

His whole world suddenly was colorful again and it seemed like everything had a meaning again. Since he was gone, everything seemed dull to Eliott, he seemed numb to so many things he usually enjoyed or loved, forgetting how to be truly happy. It seemed like he took all the light and hope from Eliott with him.

And now he was standing there, only a few meters away from him.

Eliott needed to steady himself with one arm on the wall next to him.

This was Lucas.

His Lucas.

I missed you so much.

And he looked as beautiful and cute and hot as ever. He didn’t look like he died in Eliott’s arms.

Eliott felt his feet moving towards Lucas on their own accord, his arms wanting to close around the other smaller boy and to hold him as tightly as he could, never ever letting go of him. But he couldn’t do that. Because Lucas didn’t know who Eliott was. Because Lucas died and was reincarnated, like so many other people on this planet were too. Eliott often saw the same faces again after several years passed, the others not knowing Eliott or anything else about their former life.

There was no system who was reincarnated and who was not. It seemed kind of random but Eliott knew that everyone who was reincarnated had a reason why fate choose to give them another life.

When someone was reincarnated, their other life was erased – every memory connected to them disappeared from the minds of the people they knew, who were their family or their friends. People usually were reincarnated with their same body and their same name because of this. Their former life, their former self just didn’t… exist anymore. Like it never was there in the first place.

But there were expectations. There were people who don’t apply to that rule. People who didn’t forget about the reincarnated people.

And Eliott, being immortal, was one of those people.

Eliott was pinching himself in his arm now, afraid that Lucas was some kind of hallucination. That the long time Eliott looked for his boy in the crowds of people, trying to find a short boy with brownish, messy hair, were starting to get on his nerves and his mind. That fate started to play a game with him, punishing him for all the mistakes he already did in his immortal life. But when Eliott opened his eyes again, Lucas was still standing there, now laughing at a joke one of the boys in their group made and Eliott’s whole world seemed to light up as he saw the other boy laughing.

He is real. He is back. I have another chance.

Eliott swore Lucas that he would never forget him. And he didn’t. And Eliott had been praying to some kind of higher force that Lucas would be reincarnated. And now his wish came true.

And Lucas knew nothing about Eliott at all.

But Eliott would change that, if Lucas would let him. He had the feeling that their love was one of the reasons why Lucas was being reincarnated. Their love being so strong that it could even beat death and everything else.

And this time, things would end differently. Eliott would make sure of that.

Eliott smiled slightly. This was real. This was not some kind of weird dream.

It’s been one minute since he last saw Lucas. Lucas Lallemant, the love of his life.

.

In Lucas’ world, reincarnation was common and expected. Everyone knew about the possibility of reincarnation. No one asked why, no one cared about how often they were already reincarnated. No one had any memories from their past life.

No one except Lucas.

Lucas just knew that he was reincarnated. He didn’t have any proof, he just felt it. He felt it in the way his dreams were so vivid and lively that they couldn’t be just only dreams. He felt it in the way his mind recognized certain places he never saw before in this life. And he felt it in the way of this strange pull which seemed to say: Come. Find me.

There was a reason he was being reincarnated and he needed to find out what this reason was.

Lucas was absent with his thoughts while Yann and Basile talked, Arthur adding some stuff to their discussion. They always said that Lucas was a dreamer, constantly in thoughts and captured by little things. And maybe this was true. He never talked about his possible former life with his friends and as much as Lucas loved them, he just knew that they wouldn’t understand it. The whole society knew that there was a possibility of reincarnation and often it was guessed what their former life was about, especially in the young generation of Lucas. But no one really knew of their reincarnation. Not like Lucas knew it.

So he kept his feelings to himself, often being occupied by thoughts so that it looked like Lucas was dreaming about some boy he saw in the hallway of their college, his friends tending to mock him about it.

A loud noise came from the door of the college being thrown against the wall behind it and Lucas jumped, panic raising inside of him, his breathing quickening rapidly and the stream of thoughts forgotten.

“Hey bud… Are you okay?”, asked Yann as he saw how panicked his best friend was. Yann always knew when something was wrong. Lucas just nodded and took a deep breath.

“I just…”

He was not sure what this all was about. He was not sure why he always jumped at loud noises, why he seemed to hate everything connected to an explosive sound. His friends looked at him, Arthur biting his lip slightly before speaking.

“Have you ever thought about the possibility that your phonophobia comes from your possible former life?”

Everyone was staring at Arthur now, especially Lucas whose heart was now racing.

He can’t know about it.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”, asked Lucas while huffing a laugh. But inside, Lucas was actually dead serious.

“I’ve heard that our phobias come from the way we died in our former life”, answered Arthur and shrugged as if he just hadn’t told them something bigger than they could ever imagine. Basile was staring at him, his mouth slightly open.

“This is absolutely crazy”, he whispered quietly as if they are sharing a big secret, “Crazy in a cool way.”

Lucas was turning his head in Basile’s direction and Yann was dramatically slamming his face in his hand.

“Only you can think of something as ‘cool’ which is connected to dying and phobias”, said Yann muffled through the hand on his face and Lucas couldn’t help but smile.

“This is bullshit, Arthur”, said Lucas quickly before Basile could protest to the things Yann said, “I mean, why should this be connected to my possible former life? How did I die, then? Through a fucking door which was slammed against a wall and I was standing behind that door or what?”

“You would have died as a sandwich between a wall and a door.”

Everyone was staring at Basile again, a look of pure confusion on their faces and Lucas asked himself for the thousandth time if Basile even had a brain or any braincell at all.

“Basile, what the actually fuck”, whispered Yann unbelievable and everyone erupted into laughter. His friends made it again – they freed Lucas from his dark and deep thoughts.

“Okay, now I’m hungry. What about some sandwiches at mine?”, suggested Arthur and this plan was greeted with a please nodding.

“But we won’t eat Lucas, the sandwich between wall and door, right?”

“Shut up, Basile”, said Lucas, Yann and Arthur in a choir before the boys started to walk to Arthur’ house, laughing all the way.

Lucas was on the back of that group, smiling and listening to their conversation, when he suddenly felt a gaze on his back. He stopped in his tracks and turned around. His eyes immediately found the pair of eyes which were staring at him and Lucas went hot and cold in the span of mere seconds.

The boy was beautiful.

Really beautiful.

He couldn’t see his eyes which were hidden under his hood but he knew that they must be breathtaking. Lucas was instantly taking a step in the direction of that stranger staring at him, but with the next blink, he was gone. Lucas stopped and looked around, searching for any sign of that stranger.

Did I only imagine him or…

“Lucas?”

“Coming.”

Lucas looked over his shoulder, seeing his friends waiting for him and he looked back to the place where the stranger disappeared as fast as he appeared.

Maybe Lucas really only imagined him.

But why could he still feel his heart racing?

[she-is-tim]

I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 1

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other... but not forever. 

See you on Friday

Yet another boring tuesday at school, at least Lucas thought so. He was walking to the cafeteria with his friends, holding a tray in his hands with some weird looking pasta on it. He wasn’t really hungry, but he still had to eat something, not like he would want to eat that. He was kinda distracted when he picked a plate. His friends were talking about the party that’s going to be on this friday. He was not looking forward to it, he actually hated most of the high school parties, because they meant that he have to meet Eliott fucking Demaury.

He couldn’t even remember when they started to hate each other, it just sort of happened. Eliott was the cool guy in school and for some reason he was also one of the smartest students. That irritated Lucas, because how can someone have so many talents, while he himself was just a loser. He wasn’t really good anything, other than picking fights and lying. Oh, boy! He was lying like a king, at least he thought so, but somehow Eliott always see through his lies with those piercing blue eyes of his. It was annoying.

He never really told anyone he’s gay, but he never pretended to be straight either. His friends thought that he is just a bit weird, not being interested in kissing or having sex with girls. Actually he would love to kiss someone or have sex, but not with girls. But he couldn’t just say that to his friends. He wanted to keep things as they were. Maybe if he finds someone he likes and that person likes him back, then he can tell his friends. But not until then.

They sat down to their usual table, Basile was talking, like always. Mostly about girls and how he’s going to get laid this weekend. They all knew he won’t even get a kiss, but they didn’t tell that to him. As always, Arthur was the most supportive, making sure Basile won’t lose his interest in the party. Lucas just poked his food with his fork, staring out through the huge windows near them.

He was totally lost in his thoughts when his eyes catched a familiar smirk outside. He had to blink a few times and saw Demaury, showing him a middle finger with a winning smile on his face. Lucas felt blood rushing to his face both because of anger and embarrassment. He was just staring out of his head, didn’t mean to look at that asshole. He looked away, trying to pretend that he’s listening to Basile, but he could feel Eliott’s eyes burning a hole into his body. That guy was the worst.

They had a few more classes during the afternoon, but none of them were common, so Lucas said goodbye to his friends, giving Arthur and Yann a fistbump and leaving Basile hanging with his high five. They loved to tease him by not doing it, it was their inside joke.

He walked to the classroom for literature, Lucas just hated it. He liked to read sometimes, but all of this was just a big ass bullshit. And of couse he totally forgot that he had this class together with Mr. Perfect. He rolled his eyes as he sat down next to Eliott, because of course their teacher had to made them sit together. Like Lucas wasn’t suffering enough in his life already. He dropped his bag on the table, ignoring the other one’s stare and all knowing smirk.

He looked really good today, but when did Eliott Demaury not look good. Even if Lucas hated him, he couldn’t deny the fact that this guy was the hottest student, but probably the hottest teenager on this planet. He was wearing ripped, light blue jeans, a dark blue shirt and a black hoodie. His hair was messy and glowing in the sunshine. Why the fuck they had to sit next to a fucking window? It just made this guy look even more gorgeous. It pissed Lucas off.

“Being quiet today, huh?” Eliott said after long silence. Lucas was just sitting on his chair, pretending to read his textbook. They had a few minutes before the teacher arrives.

“Don’t talk to me.” Lucas mumbled angrily, keeping his eyes on the book. He couldn’t even read a single word, because all he was focusing on is closing out this douchebag. But it wasn’t that easy, especially when he felt the warm breath on his neck.

“Or what?” Eliott whispered which made Lucas jump and almost fall off his chair. He pulled his hood on his head, looking at Eliott angrily. That asshole was laughing, enjoying that he was the leader of this situation, just like always. Lucas hated him for that too.

“I’m gonna kill you for this.” he hissed, making sure he is far enough from this creep.

“You really are just an angry hedgehog, huh?” he said smirking, wiping off a tear that came out while he was laughing. The fucker. “Why don’t you just admit it that you have a crush on me?” he asked smirking. “Then I could reject you and keep teasing you like this.”

Lucas clenched his fists in anger. The thing he hated the most about Eliott that somehow he knew about Lucas’ sexuality. They never talked about it and he only said things like this when no one could hear them, but still. It made Lucas feel kind of like he doesn’t have to pretend around him, which was annoying. Why on earth was this guy who just knew the real Lucas under the thick layers of lies? It was unfair.

“Not like it’s your business, but you are definietly not my type.” Lucas said. At least with Eliott he didn’t had to pretend, because he hated him the most.

“You say that now, but I saw how you looked at me during lunch.” he said with a wide smile, his fingers drumming on the table.

“I was just fucking staring and you came into the picture. Ruining the view actually.” he said, looking into Eliott’s eyes with a serious face. Eliott now stopped the drumming and his smile was gone. He leaned forward, which made Lucas to lean back, needing to hold onto the table, so he won’t fall off his chair.

“Careful what you say, Lallemant. You will regret it in the future.” he said quietly, giving Lucas goosebumps. Then he lent back in his chair and turned forward as the teacher entered the room. Lucas let out a frustrated sigh, which seemed to satisfy Eliott. I’m gonna kill him.

At the end of the day, Lucas felt so exhausted, he just wanted to go home, lay on his bed and relax. He really hoped he had some food left in the fridge, because he was starving. He sat down to the bench at the bus stop, scrolling through instagram while he was waiting. some of his friends posted pictures, he saw some stupid ads too. His fingers really wanted to search on Eliott, he knew he had an instagram, but he never actually saw his page. He was about to type in his name, when he heard a crowd of giggling girls walking towards the bus stop, surrounding Eliott like he was some kind of celebrity.

Lucas couldn’t understand why he was going with a bus, when he could probably easily afford to just drive to school. A guy like Eliott must have had a drivers licence and a car. They arrived and the girls stopped just by the bench, laughing, chit-chating, jumping on their feet, trying to use every opportunity to touch Eliott. The guy was standing in the middle, smiling brightly, talking about some stupid project he was working on. Of course this guy was also an artist, like Lucas didn’t have enough reason to hate him already.

He tried to act like he wasn’t there, ignoring the group, still staring at his phone. His legs were fidgeting as he just wanted to get on the bus, go home, eat and sleep finally. And just like a miracle from God itself, the bus arrived. Lucas jumped up from the bench, rushing on the bus and stopping close to the back door. He heard Eliott saying goodbye to the girls and stepping inside too. Shit. Lucas hoped that he will take the next one at least.

Lucas refused to look at Eliott, who was probably staring at him, he could feel it. That asshole always stared at Lucas, probably tried to embarrass him, or just burn a hole into his chest. He had the most piercing blue eyes and Lucas was sure he was aware of that. On his way home, he was holding the handrail with one hand and looking through his phone with the other. He stared at the invitation for fridays party. It was only tuesday, but his stomach flipped just by thinking about it. He hated parties, but he liked to get free booze and smoke with the boys. Arthur always had weed for them.

He was so busy looking at his phone, that he missed the stop where he was supposed to get off the bus. He cursed under his breath, putting away his phone. At the next stop, he got off and noticed Eliott. He looked at the sky, wishing to just sink into the ground. Why me? Why today?

“So, now you’re following me? Not just watching from afar?” Eliott asked with that annoying smirk, walking a few steps towards Lucas.

“I just got distracted and missed my stop.” he said, fixing the scarf in his neck. It was still pretty cold outside, even though March just started. Eliott was wearing a brown jacket over his black hoodie, holding the backpack strap with his left hand, while the other was in his pocket.

“It’s pretty cold, you shouldn’t be out for long.” he said suddenly, staring at the giant scarf. He must have had the idea that Lucas doesn’t like cold. Which was obviously true, but he couldn’t let Eliott think that.

“I’ll be fine, I will walk home from here.” he mumbled, turning around.

“Or you could come to my place.” Eliott said, which made Lucas to turn back, looking at him wide-eyed. “It’s closer, and you can come back here to take the bus back.”

“I have no idea why you would want to offer that to me, but I am not going any closer to your place.” Lucas said seriously. Eliott sighed and run his fingers through his own hair, making it even more messy than it was before.

“I was trying to be nice.”

“Yeah, not buying it.”

Eliott smiled at him, not with that cocky, annoying smile like always, this one reached his eyes. He looked even more handsome than before. Lucas quickly gave himself a slap on the face in his thoughts. He can’t think of Eliott as handsome. That went against his ideology.

“You coming to the party on friday?” he asked. For some reason none of them wanted to leave their spot, just stayed there at the bus stop, staring at each other, or in Lucas’ case, staring at the ground.

“I have to, the guys want to go.” Lucas mumbled, holding onto the straps of his backpack, hoping that it would save him from this terrible situation. He was really hungry and cold, plus he had Eliott to deal with. Day can’t get shittier.

“See you on friday then.” he said suddenly, which made Lucas to raise his head and look at him. Eliott now looked like a lost animal, looking for help. He swallowed and took a few steps backwards. Eliott kept staring at him, his eyes looked like the clouds before the storm.

“Yeah.” Lucas mumbled, before he quickly did a 180° spin and started to walk home. He couldn’t get out of his head the look Eliott had before he walked away. Why was he like that? Why was he saying such things? What kind of game is he playing?

Lucas was sitting in his last class, it was friday. He felt nervous all day, and he found it super strange that Eliott were basically gone after they talked on tuesday. The girls said that he is sick. He didn’t asked, just heard them talking. Eliott was a pretty popular topic amongst the girls, even if it was Emma and her friends. They were cool, funny and pretty, each one of them. Lucas liked to hang out with them since Daphné came up with the idea of the common room. It was a nice thing, Lucas liked to spend his free time there, a bit away from the boys, trying to forget that he’s living a life built on lies.

When he heard the bell, he stuffed his books into his backpack, zipping it up and leaving the classroom. He quickly walked to his locker, putting on his jacket and scarf. It was really windy today, kind of dark because of the thick, stormy clouds on the sky. The colors of them reminded him of Eliott’s eyes. He shook his head. Why the fuck I am thinking of him?

The books he didn’t needed for the weekend stayed in his locker, the others went to his bag. He was almost ready to leave, when his friends arrived, jumping around him like 5 year olds, yelling about the party tonight.

“It’s gonna be great! I am getting myself a girl, I can feel it.” Basile said with a lot of confidence. Arthur was smiling, pating his shoulder.

“Of course. And there will be free booze.” he said and lowered his voice now. “I’ll bring joints too.” he whispered and Lucas felt much better now. Knowing that he can get high and forget all his problems sounded much better. Eliott probably won’t even be on the party if he’s really sick.

“Sounds good to me.” Lucas said with a little smile, Yann gently poked him with his elbow.

“Look at that, our precious Lulu is smiling. Are you looking forward to the party now?” he asked smirking. Obviously Yann was the most hyped out of all of them, because he had this girl in his math class that he liked and she was coming to the party too. His relationship with Emma was the past and the three of them, Yann, Emma and Lucas were really good friends. A power trio.

“I just wanna get drunk or high, no special reasons.” Lucas shrugged, but smiled at his best friend. Sometimes it was painful how he was lying to Yann, but he couldn’t tell him about his sexuality, or that he is struggling with money, with his flatmates or with his mother. He just couldn’t.

“Sure. Then we will meet at Alex’s at 19:00, right?” Arthur asked, making sure everyone knew the place and time. The boys nodded and all of them went on their own way. Yann wanted to skateboard a little before going home, Basile and Arthur went to get their bikes, Lucas walked to the bus stop.

He waited there, looking at his phone like always. It was cold, but bearable. The wind wasn’t as bad as in the morning, but he kept his scarf on, just to make sure. He didn’t wanted to get sick and miss classes, he was already stupid enough and his friends weren’t exactly smart enough to help him through the exams.

When he arrived at Alex’s place, the house was already filled with people, he could see the wild lights shining through the windows and the loud music were bursting out as their friend opened the door for them. Alex was a really popular and handsome student, one of the coolest guys, and he was in third year too. Lucas made friends with him when he fucked things up between Yann and Emma. It turned out that he isn’t that big of an asshole and looked like he really cared for Emma. They were in a weird, open relationship since a while now, but they always ended up in each others arms. It was lovely.

All four of them walked in, the kitchen was filled with all kinds of booze, the living room was the dance floor, people talked, kissed on the hallways and probably some of them planned to do other things in the bathroom or even in one of the bedrooms. Lucas took off his jacket and scarf, putting them on the hanger by the door, most of the people just threw theirs on a couch or something, the place was a mess. The music was loud, banging in Lucas’ ears, pounding on his chest. His head already felt dizzy, even though he haven’t had a single drop of alcohol.

They went to the kitchen immediately, grabbing a bottle of beer and chatting there while drinking it. It was important to get into party mood before any of them goes to the dance floor. Basile was basically drooling over any girl he saw, while Yann looked for his crush in the crowd. Arthur rolled a sweet joint for him and Lucas on the counter, he preferred to get high rather than getting drunk and that’s why Lucas loved to party with him.

After a couple of beers for Yann and Basile and two joints for Arthur and Lucas, all of them were in a party mood. Yann seemed to find his crush and the courage to talk to her, Basile decided to go after some hot girl, talking nonsense to him,while Arthur followed him to help his stupid friend out in such a serious situation.

Lucas was left in the kitchen, high as a kite, drinking coke and watching the dancing crowd. His mind was cloudy, his eyes couldn’t really focus, but that was totally okay. He let the weed to take the controll over his body and brain. It was good to just feel happy and not that constant stress he was living in.

Long minutes passed, probably even an hour when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, he didn’t even notice that he closed his eyes. He slowly looked to his side and if the weed wouldn’t made him so light headed, he would have been running away that second. Eliott was there, looking stunning like always, he had a black shirt and a denim jacket on, sleeves rolled up, beer in his hands. He was wearing deep blue jeans, but his eyes... Lucas could lost in those fucking eyes.

“Looks like this grumpy hedgehog is high above the coulds today.” Eliott said, clearly amused by the confused look on Lucas’ face.

“I thought you are sick.” that was the best he could come up with in his foggy mind, trying not to drool over his asshole, because he sure was the most beautiful human being in this house right now. Eliott laughed and leaned his hip to the kitchen counter. He sure knew how to position his body to make him look even better.

“Were you worried?” he asked with that annoying, cocky smile. Lucas wanted to punch him in the face, but he would probably end up falling into Eliott’s arms, which didn’t seem a bad idea in his fucked up mind, but it was really bad.

“Why would I?” he said angrily, leaning to the fridge that was behind him. He felt like he can’t keep himself on his feet. “You are fucking annoying.” he mumbled, taking a sip from his drink.

“You don’t seem to enjoy the party. Why are you here?” he asked now, drinking from his beer, looking at the mass of people imitating dance in the living room.

“You are the one who spends his time picking on a loser like me instead of getting a girl and bang somewhere in the house.” Lucas said bitterly. He was just really frustrated around Eliott and words were coming out of his mouth without warning. He will totally regret everything tomorrow.

“Why are you saying that?” he tilted his head, taking a few steps towards Lucas. The boy had to lay his head back to look into Eliott’s eyes, he was really tall, and he had a nice smell too. What the fuck am I thinking? Shut up!

“Saying what?” it wasn’t easy to talk when one and a half joint worked in your body mixed with two bottles of beer. Also being so close to a stunning guy seemed to make everything 10 times worse. Fucking Demaury.

“That you are a loser.” Eliott said, taking another step forward. Lucas started to panic now, he didn’t feel good anyways, but being around this guy made everything worse.

Without thinking he stepped to the side to get away from Eliott, but thanks to the weed, he was still clumsy and tripped in his own foot. Things happened fast, first he was falling to the kitchen floor, then the next thing he remembers is a dark shirt and a warm chest under it, long, strong arms around his body.

“Woah, careful there. I don’t want you to hit your head. Wouldn’t be good for your already shitty grades.” he whispered smirking, letting grumpy Lucas go, when he pushed him a couple times. “I’ll get you a taxi, you gotta go home.”

“Don’t you fucking dare making decisions for me.” Lucas said angrily and pushed Eliott again. He had so much frustration inside him, he had to let out on someone. “You think you are so perfect, that you can charm anyone, then go ahead, but leave me out of this shit! I have enough problems without this bullshit.” he basically screamed and for once he was glad that the music was so loud. No one heard his words.

Eliott looked at him, eyes filled with concern, looking for answers on Lucas’ face, searching for something. This was already too much, Lucas had to get away from here. He took a deep breath, fighting against the dizziness in his head. He left the kitchen without a word, walking towards the door. He put on his jacket, but forgot the scarf, he was too upset to remember things like that.

The fresh, biting air was definietly good for him, so he enjoyed it and walked to the furthest bus stop. His mind was filled with Eliott and he just hated that. He wanted to get him out of his head. He can’t have a crush on him, he can’t feel anything, because Eliott is just an asshole who plays with other people’s feelings. He sighed and was glad when the bus arrived, it was almost 5:00. The boy was angry, hungry and tired. Eliott...

Writers note: I really hope you guys liked this one, I tried to write it with my best spirit, but if you wanna share your thoughts about it, I would appreciate it a lot, I would take advices or ideas for future chapters, since nothing is written yet, so the story can go in a lots of directions. Thank you

[flying-elliska]

hi ellie! 7 & 21 & 39 pls ✨

hiii nat <3 thank you for asking !!!

7 :  Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Argh that’s a difficult question, I find it difficult to answer because when I look at my own writing all I feel is the need to pick it apart. I feel it’s like, more functional than poetic. So I like how it works as a story but looking at the actual sentences...idk. 

But I think one of my favorite bits to write was Eliott’s speech at the end of ch 12 when Eliott is like "I am not your prey, Lucas Lallemant. Not your victim. I am your challenger." because that was such an oof moment, and then Lucas is like ‘Come get me out of here.’ And we’re like !!!!!! Finally !!! Favorite chapter ending I did so far. 

21 :  How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Really depends. The first few chapters I didn’t revise much. The last chapter not that much either. Lucas’s backstory chapters as well as chapter 13 I revised an insane amount of times - some of them I rewrote entire parts of it several times. Ch13 I actually read a lot of parts out loud to make sure it sounded okay - that’s an excellent revision method, but it takes waaaaaay too long. In general I will revise sometimes while I’m writing, then at least once when it’s done, a new time after my beta is done with it over grammar, and one last time when I format it for ao3. 

39 :  Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Nope, haven’t gone yet, thankfully. I have no clue how I would deal with them lol, if it would completely ruin my creative drive or if it would give me a fit of productivity from wanting to prove them wrong. If they’re really rude though it would probably make me very sarcastic. But I don’t know. 

[jebentnietalleen]

Imane is a smart girl so she probably deleted this email but maybe Ch*rles showed her and Manon figured out. But this boy doesn’t know how to use a mac.

Oh I bet he did show her yeah, that’s what I would do if I was him. I am assuming that by ‘this boy’ you mean Lucas disaster gay Lallemant. And: facts only. He is only living up to his name tbh.

[choupichoups]

Press F (Instagram/College AU) Ch.10

Lucas swears he’s the absolute master of undetected stalking. Or: Eliott is instagram famous and Lucas is the disaster gay who accidentally likes his post.

"You’re sure you're okay with this?”

Lucas pauses, croissant halfway shoved in his mouth as he regards Eliott with an inquisitive brow. “With what?” 

“Me announcing to… uh… all my followers who I’m dating.”

Lucas resumes eating, rolling his eyes as he brushes the crumbs off his fingers. “I already told you it’s okay,” he says, partly muffled due to the food in his mouth. “What can they do anyway?” 

Eliott chokes on a laugh, “What can they do? Lucas, have you seen the shit people do on social media?” He runs a fork over the leftover avocado on his plate. “You know what, I should probably delete that story, it’s only been half an hour anyway—”

“There’s no point, someone’s already saved that by now. It’ll just be up somewhere else.” He shrugs, feeling not an ounce of worry on this subject. “You posted about me before and if you haven’t noticed, some of your fans already found my account too.” He takes a sip of his coffee, smiling as he nibbles on the straw. “And your face is all over that one.” 

Eliott reaches over the table for Lucas’ hand, entangling their fingers together before bringing their hands up to his lips. He brushes a light kiss over the back of Lucas’ hand before pressing a smile into the same spot. “I just don’t want you feeling bad over any of this.” 

“No stranger on the internet can get to me, Eliott,” Lucas says, rolling his eyes again despite the fact that his voice might sound a tad too fond for eight in the morning. “Here.” He detaches their hands to get to his phone, pulling up that adorable photo he took of his boyfriend before leaving the apartment earlier. Tagging Eliott on the post is barely an afterthought and he cackles over the caption before placing his phone back down. “There, now if your admirers attack me it’s gonna be equally my fault.” 

Lucas hands Eliott’s phone over, laughing to himself when his boyfriend’s expression morphs into outright affront after seeing the comments. 

He goes back to eating his food, noticing that his own phone is now buzzing with a phone call. He’s been getting calls from an unknown number for the past week but no voicemails are ever left. Lucas makes a point not to answer until an actual human voice leaves a message, convinced that it’s some marketing company trying to sell him their life insurance or some shit. The buzzing stops eventually but it goes straight to into ringing again immediately after. 

Lucas wipes his hands down and turns the phone over, almost choking in his haste to swallow down the food in his mouth when he sees the caller. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m looking for Lucas Lallemant?” 

“Yeah, that’s me,” he responds in a rush. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m so sorry for calling in so early, but Mrs. Lallemant has been asking for you all morning and we’re having trouble having her cooperate--”

Lucas doesn't let the nurse finish. “I’ll be there, I’ll be there soon. Can you let her know that?”

“Of course, we will, thank you--”

He’s already digging around his wallet before he ends the call, looking up to his boyfriend’s worried eyes when Lucas leaves money on the table that is very likely much more than what they owe. 

“I need to go,” he says, stumbling out of his chair in his hurry.

“Whoa, hey, slow down, what’s going on?” Eliott follows after him, catching his arm in a strong grip before Lucas can dash out to the streets without him. 

“My mom--” Shit, he doesn’t have the time nor the brain power to give Eliott the entire tragic backstory so he settles for an agitated, “It’s complicated. I have to go see her.” 

“Can I take you there?” Eliott asks carefully, holding Lucas’ face in between his hands so that the latter’s eyes would quit darting around and just focus on him. “I won’t go in with you, I’ll just drop you off. Is that okay?”

And Lucas does focus on him, worry increasing as he thinks of what Eliott’s reaction would be. But explaining to his boyfriend why he can’t accompany Lucas to a task as menial as dropping one’s significant other off to their parent’s house sounds more taxing than simply agreeing, so he nods. If Eliott notices the reluctance in the act, he doesn’t question it. 

But the closer their bus gets to the clinic, the more Lucas is starting to regret that decision. 

He can feel Eliott’s confused glances when Lucas gets off at a stop nowhere near the residential areas. The clinic is a lengthy building that takes up the entire acre beside the road— there are no other buildings beside it and the giant sign by the gated entrance gives it away without Lucas needing to explain where they are. 

Chancing a glance up at his boyfriend, Lucas can’t tell what’s going through his mind. Eliott’s face is blank, the confusion and worry from earlier have disappeared. It makes Lucas nervous.

However, that’s something he’ll have to deal with later. 

“Hey, I’m Lucas Lallemant, I got a call earlier for…”

“Ah, yes. I’ll get the nurse for you right away.” The receptionist busies herself with the phone and Lucas turns to Eliott, fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“Um, you don’t… have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Eliott’s eyes are trained on something over Lucas’ shoulder. “I’ll wait for you out here.” 

“Lucas?” A frazzled looking nurse addresses him and Lucas follows after her, trying not to think too much about Eliott being present for this. “Thank you so much for coming so quickly, we had notes on her file to call you if something like this happens but with Marie gone, we weren’t quite sure how to proceed.” 

“That’s fine, thanks.” To be fair, his mother hasn’t had any terrible meltdowns since moving into this clinic. 

“She’s in her room, not acknowledging anyone, just keeps saying your name.” 

Lucas thanks her again with a small, apologetic smile. The nurse looks young— she’s probably new, judging from the many emotions flitting across her features for every word she speaks. Lucas hasn’t seen a professional in this field who feels so much. Not even Marie. 

“Mama?” No response, but he’s figured that would happen. “I’m here now,” he continues, sitting by the bed and fixing the sheets around her shoulders. She’s situated to face the window, back towards him. “Did you need me for something?”

Still nothing. He sees the untouched glass of water placed beside her pills and Lucas runs a finger over the condensation forming on the side as he thinks of what to say next. 

She’s told him once before that hearing his voice helps her a lot. Especially on days like this, when she’s unresponsive and away from the reality she doesn’t quite want to face. 

“Do you hear it?”

Or maybe not as unresponsive as he’d thought.

Lucas straightens up, leaning on the edge of the bed to hear her soft voice better. “Hear what?”

“The trumpet.” 

There’s only silence around them. “No, mama, where is it?” 

“It’s been playing since this morning.” She turns on the bed, facing towards the ceiling. Lucas can see the pooling tears in her eyes. “The rapture’s here and I’ve been left behind. It’s because I’m such a bad mother is it? A terrible wife?”

“No—” He shuffles forward to take one of her hands in both of his. 

“Ephesians 5:22; wives, submit to your husbands,” she quotes absently, hand limp inside Lucas’ hold. “Is it because of the fight?”

A frown etches its way onto Lucas’ features. “What fight?” 

Tears escape from their fragile perch in her eyes. “He’s right.” She turns her head, looking at him this time. “Your life would be so much better if I just go.” 

Lucas doesn’t know where all of this is coming from but there’s dread forming in his chest, his mind picking up on everything that goes unsaid. “Where are you going, mama?” He shakes his head, the sight of her delicate tears triggering his own. “That’s not true, I don’t want you to go.” 

“So much better without me,” she whispers, head shifting back to resume gazing out the window. Her hand remains small and slack in his grip. It’s evident that she’s not listening to a word he says. 

Lucas gets up, scrubbing at his face as he closes the door to her room. He needs to tell Eliott to leave without him as he’s probably going to take a while— he doesn’t feel right, leaving his mama right away when she’s in this terrible of a state. 

Eliott’s standing by the walls only a few steps from the room and he gently takes Lucas’ face in his hands, wiping at the tears that stubbornly make their way down his cheeks despite his best efforts to stop fucking crying already. 

“Sorry, sorry I’m— this is so sudden I—” He tries to speak through the hitches in his breath. 

“Shh, don’t apologize,” Eliott says, pulling Lucas closer to place a sweet kiss on his forehead. 

This only serves to make him cry harder for whatever reason and Lucas has to take a deep breath, fists balled at his sides as he tries to reign over his emotions. “I’m gonna stay here for a bit, you should go.” His hands raise to hold onto Eliott’s forearms, thumbs tracing soft lines from back of the palm to wrist. “I don’t know how long I’ll be.” 

Eliott nods but doesn’t make a move to pull away. 

They only do so when a pair of footsteps echo in the hallway and Lucas does a double take when he sees the man walking beside his mama’s temporary nurse. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Both his father and the nurse pause and Lucas is starting to really feel bad for the poor nurse, getting caught up in their family drama all in less than a day’s worth. 

“Please excuse us,” his dad says to her and she takes the golden opportunity to scramble the hell away from them. Eliott doesn’t take the same cue, moving back to give them space but staying within Lucas’ reach. “Hello, Lucas.”

“Why are you here?” Lucas brushes off the niceties. If there’s one thing he can’t stand it’s his father pretending to be a decent human being in front of others. “Have you been talking to her?”

“Yes.”

“Who says you can do that?”

“She’s my wife, I can talk to her.”

“She’s not!” Lucas steps closer, raising his voice as if he’d done the opposite. This man has lost the right to call them his family. “You don’t get to talk to her whenever it’s convenient for you! Did you see what you’ve done? She was doing so fucking well without you!” 

“Mind your language, Lucas,” his father grits out. The sound of crumpling papers makes Lucas look down to where the man’s hands are clenched around a file folder. “I’m still your father and I won’t tolerate—”

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Lucas scoffs, shaking his head at the audacity. “You’re so full of it.” 

Lucas sees the man’s fisted hand move— he sees it, but he does nothing to stop it. Maybe if the hospital cameras catch the bastard acting with violence then Lucas would have a real reason to want to throw him into jail. Or at least to have him stop stirring shit in their lives. Legally. 

But no pain reaches him even as he braces for it and when he tunes back in, it’s to Eliott’s back in front of him, one hand gripping Lucas’ father’s wrist in a firm hold. 

“That’s enough, sir,” Eliott says, mock polite. 

All hands drop back down to their respective sides but the tension remains high up in the air. 

His father’s eyes switch from Eliott to Lucas, face impassive. The thick silence only lasts a for few moments, however, because Lucas’ father is as shameless as one can get. He thrusts the file folder under Lucas’ nose, sidestepping the entire wall that is Eliott standing in between the two of them.

“Sign these and mail them back to me, pronto,” the man says, pocketing his hands once Lucas has taken the papers. “Don’t give me a hard time about this, it’s for your own good.” 

Lucas spares him the coldest glance he can manage as he reads through the file. Insurance claims? Transfer permission? To Marseille? Taking a sharp breath through his nose, Lucas simmers in silent rage. So this sad excuse of a man finds a new job that provides extra allowance to employees caring for disabled family members and suddenly he’s husband of the year? Fuck that, fuck him. 

Fuck everything and his fucked up life. 

“Fuck you,” he says, throwing the papers back at his father. He doesn’t give a shit that they land scattered on the ground— maybe the man would pick up some of his dignity along with those papers that way. 

Lucas turns around before his father gets over the shock of his reaction, gazes at his mama’s door but he can’t. He can’t deal right now, not after this. There’s a chance that he’d actually lose whatever’s left of his sanity if he goes in and is faced with the hopeless look in her eyes. His mother, who’s supposed to take care of him, hasn’t been able to care for herself for years and years. His father, who’s supposed to provide for him, has abandoned him for longer. Now, he’s stuck dealing with their escalating issues again, an unwilling tether to a breakable thread. He doesn’t know why his mother’s holding on so tight to the delusion of a complete family, he doesn’t know why his father’s holding on so tight to the farce of being a good man. 

And Lucas is so tired of this bullshit. 

His phone rings with the same unknown number and Lucas wants to throw it to the fucking floor.

He runs for the back exit, not wanting to run into his father when the man leaves the clinic as well. There’s a dire need inside him to breathe in some air, one that doesn’t linger with antiseptic, that clean, fabricated hospital smell that drives him up the wall. 

Eliott’s there to hold him when his knees threaten to buckle under him. Lucas turns into his arms immediately, clinging onto the hood of his sweater as he takes in unsteady breaths.

“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” he says into Eliott’s shoulder, tears making their unwelcome comeback in his tired eyes. 

“Don’t be sorry,” Eliott assures him, hands running back and forth over Lucas’ back. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay,” Lucas retorts. “It’s not.”

“Hey.” Eliott tilts his chin up with a thumb and smiles fondly when Lucas sniffs miserably up at him. Eliott brushes a hand through his hair and kisses him on the forehead again. Lucas’ heart melts, settling calmer with the knowledge that even if his world feels like it’s going for another ride in hell, at least Eliott’s here with him this time, the angel that brings light to his life. “Don’t worry, I get it.”

More tears spill over the corners of his eyes. Eliott deserves happiness all the time, not Saturdays with strange clinics and witnessing shouting matches with horrid fathers. 

“I’m so tired,” Lucas whispers, closing his eyes when Eliott’s thumbs come up to brush away his tears. He doesn’t know what he’ll do without them now-- doesn’t ever want to go back to a time without Eliott’s warm, gentle touches. “I just wish that everything’s normal for once.” 

“Normal how?” 

Lucas gestures to the clinic where he and his father held that unpleasant confrontation. The clinic has started to become his mama’s safe space but now that man’s just gone and ruined it. “I’m tired of that bullshit. Why can’t I just have a normal family?” He shakes his head, feels his phone ringing in his pocket for the thousandth fucking time and he doesn’t even want to think about what’s brewing on that front. Telemarketers aren’t that persistent. “Why can’t I just have normal people around me? A normal life? Fuck, I hate this. I don’t wanna deal with any more of this.” 

Eliott’s quiet above him but he holds Lucas tight in his arms, very tight. Lucas buries his face in Eliott’s neck and locks his own arms around Eliott’s torso, deflating after finally getting those thoughts out in the open. 

“You don’t have to.” Eliott whispers into Lucas’ temple, cheek nuzzling into his hair. 

“Hm?”

“You won’t have to deal with it.” 

“How?” 

“Let’s get you home, okay?” 

Yann is still there when Eliott drops him off at the apartment. Lucas must look as shitty as he feels because Yann doesn’t tease when he opens the door for them, Lucas being too out of it to bring out his keys. He can feel his best friend and his boyfriend exchange glances above his head and in a better state, he’d probably coo at how they’re able to hold silent conversations already. 

But as it is, Lucas just wants to take a goddamn nap.

Lucas turns to ask if Eliott would like to stay with them but his boyfriend brings him in for a rather abrupt embrace, so quick and inexplicably strong that Lucas loses his breath for a moment. His hands fly up to Eliott’s shoulders, fingers digging into the fabric of his hoodie as he presses his nose to Eliott’s chest. Eliott has his face buried in his neck and Lucas feels him take a deep, lingering inhale before pulling away with a soft touch to Lucas’ hair. 

“Take care of yourself, hm?” 

Lucas nods dumbly, watching Eliott walk away. 

lucallemant thank you for coming with me earlier do you have any plans tomorrow?

srodulv me and idris actually have to start another project so I'm gonna be busy for a while

lucallemant oh ok airplane mode type of busy?

srodulv yeah

lucallemant okay, take care of yourself this time lol don’t forget to eat and sleep  good night eliott ♥️

[sunsetscurving]

Oh, Cruel Fate (enemies to lovers AU)

Ch. 1 

Okay this is the first chapter for my enemies to lovers fanfiction and I really hope you guys enjoy it!! note: english is not my first language, so I’m sorry for any mistakes!

The Demaurys and the Lallemants had been enemies for over one hundred years. And when Lucas first meets Eliott, he hates him with his whole heart even without knowing him, blaming him and his family for his life which is slowly falling apart. But when they are forced to live alongside in the same surrounding, something is changing between them. And this scares Lucas more than anything else.

Wikipedia

Demaury-Lallemant feud

The Demaury-Lallemant feud started in 1900 in Paris and was one of the biggest family feuds of the 20th century. Till this day, it is still unknown what the fight between the two families triggered and why there was this sudden rivalry. Sources say that the question of money or ground property was in the center of this fight. Since the Demaurys and Lallemants are still important and highly respected in the Parisian society, the feud is still present in these days, now already going into the third generation.

Feud

Media

Demaury genealogy

Lallemant genealogy

See also

References

Further reading

External links

Lucas sighed deeply and leaned back against in the seat of the bus, shutting his phone down and putting it into his jacket. Some would say that it was a life goal to have a Wikipedia article about yourself and your family but for Lucas, it was only another reason why he would love to have another surname. But he was what he was: Lucas Lallemant – youngest son of Madeline and Jack Lallemant, heir to his name and the business of his family. Lucas mouth tucked into a smile. In his head, this sounded like some cringey romance history movie where he was the hero and would save the princess, the country and the world in general. But the reality was different. Very, very different.

The bus stopped and Lucas got out of it, standing in front of a big school which was guarded to the teeth. People were streaming in and out of his, greeting Lucas as if he were his best friend.

Fake. All of them. No one even knew his favorite color. They only knew that he was “fame” and had a lot of money – that was enough for most of the people in this time. There was never be a doubt that his parents would send Lucas to this school – the best and most elite school in whole Paris. Only the upper-class and the most respected families got a place on this school. This way, their son would get more education than the Demaurys could even effort. All of this, his whole life, was based on the fact to let the Demaurys suffer.

And if he wouldn’t have been raised to hate ever member of the Demaurys, he would hate them alone for that, for the control they had over his life.

It was the first day after the summer holidays and although Lucas had enough time to relax, he felt not relaxed at all. Maybe it was the fact that he was out drinking and dancing and hooking up with boys the whole summer, his friends always dragging him to the best and most illustrious parties.

The guard opened the door for him, greeting him with his name and even an indicated bow. As if Lucas was some kind of prince. He rolled his eyes lightly as he passed the guard and entered the courtyard.

It had never been a secret that a Lallemant visited this school. Lucas’ brothers were members of this school before and so it was no surprise that Lucas changed to this school two years ago.He has always been proud to be a member of this highly respected family. But in the last years, things went bad. Really bad. For his family and himself. Things happened which made him realize, that this feud between the Lallemants and Demaurys was justified. Things happened that Lucas could never forgive. And although the feud was never fought out in the inner circle of their families, the public knew not half of the things that happened. They would never knew what the Demaurys did to Lucas’ mum and that the Lallemant family slowly grew apart although they should stick together now more than ever and that Lucas often wished for a different life.  A life, where the Demaurys didn’t exist.

“Luuuuuuuucaaaaaaaaaaas!”

Lucas was distracted in his thoughts when a loud voice was calling his name over the courtyard. He looked up and a smile was forming on his lips as his best friends came over to him.

“Long time no seen”, said Yann and greeted his best friend with a handshake. Lucas laughed lightly and shook his head.

“Only like 25 hours, non?”

Yann was now beaming with a grin.

“Aww, honey, you count the hours were I’m not with you.” Lucas opened his mouth, ready to protest, as Yann bumped his elbow into Basile’s rips.

“He’s in love with me. He always has been”, Yann said to Basile and wiggled with his eyebrows. The protest died on Lucas’ lips because of a laugh fighting its way out of Lucas’ mouth. Lucas went over to Yann and threw his arms around his neck, looking into this longingly as if he was his lover.

“Oh, Yann. You’re so right. You’re the love of my life.”

All of them laughed and Arthur laid an arm around Lucas’ shoulder, pulling him from Yann away, as they went inside together. Lucas was into men as long as he could think – it was never a problem for anyone and those who had a problem with that were kicked out of Lucas’ life. Since he was someone who was always in the spotlight of the problems from his family, his social media accounts were overflowing with followers and messages. When he first started to go to this school, things went really badly and he got a lot of hate on social media and in real life regarding his sexuality and his family in general. Teenagers can be crueler than any adult because they feel stronger while putting down someone else, projecting their own problems on the life of a public figure. But all of this only made him stronger – he learned to ignore hate messages, he learned to be in line with his sexuality and the feelings towards men. And his friends supported him in every decision he made and got his back when someone crazy thought to put someone like Lucas Lallemant down.

“I don’t think you’re Lucas’ type, Yann. All the boys Lucas hooked up with were a lot taller and had messy hair. Not like you. I’m more of his type.”

Lucas rolled his eyes for the second time today and shrugged out of Arthurs’ grip.

“So, now we analyze the men I hook up with? Why don’t we analyze the girls you made out with, Arthur?”

Arthur lifted his eyebrows and a smugly smile appeared on Lucas’ lips.

“Oh, I forgot: You haven’t hooked up with anyone lately, right?”

“OOOOOHHHHH” Yann and Basile laughed and Arthur couldn’t stay serious for even one second, although he really tried.

“Sorry Arthur, but he gotcha.”

Lucas laughed and felt his mood lifting up immediately whenever he was with these dorks. Whenever he was with his real friends. When you were a member of the Lallemants or Demaurys, you had a lot of people admiring you. Wanting to be your friends. Wanting to be part of the fame that goes alongside with the family name. Lucas stopped to read his DM’s on Instagram, most of the time it were people asking him to take them with him to that party or this event. To an event where Lucas himself would gladly stay at home with his friends, playing video games or getting drunk while eating some Pizza. But these nights were rare. Even rarer with Lucas getting older and more responsible for the name of his family.

Suddenly, the mood seemed to shift. Lucas could nearly feel as the air changed. His friends seemed to realize it too, their steps getting slower. He frowned and stopped, looking around.

People were whispering, their eyes bright with some new, exciting news. Lucas was used to people speaking behind his back, sharing gossip he couldn’t give less a fuck about. But today was different. There was not a giggle, no chuckle in these whispers. Only pure seriousness. Excitement. Confusion. And maybe even… Fear?

“What is happening here, putain?”

The usual loud hallway was quiet, people whispering, not allowing themselves to be louder as they spread some rumors. Rumors which affected Lucas because every gaze of every person was fixed on him, as he passed them.

“Let’s just go to class”, Lucas murmured and pulled the boys with him. He sat down in the back, next to Yann and chatted with him, trying to ignore all the stares which were even heavier than usual.

“Something is about to happen, Lulu”, Yann suddenly said and Lucas frowned.

“You watched too many Netflix shows, Yann. This is just the usual gossip. Maybe someone heard that I will leave my family and my name behind and become a monk in Germany. Or something like that. I actually don’t care at all.”

“But this is something different. As if we are all waiting for something to happen.”

“Yeah, I’m waiting for this day to be over so I can go back to my bed and get some sleep.”

“Dear Students.”

Lucas and Yann stopped their talk and turned around as the teacher came into class. And suddenly, Lucas was excited too. As if something was really about to happen. Yann and his stupid ideas – in the end it would only be an announcement for a new lunch menu.

“Welcome to the new school year. I hope you had some great holidays. We got a new student here today and I want to introduce him properly to you all.”

Lucas eyes narrowed and he suddenly got a bad feeling.

His eyes shifted to the door, as someone entered. He was tall, messy hair, bright eyes, a backpack slung over one shoulder. He was not smiling but Lucas could feel that his smile would light up the whole room. All in all, he was one of the most attractive man Lucas ever saw. He unconsciously leaned forward, a hand going through his own messy hair, a little smile forming on his lips. In the corner of his eyes, he found Yann watching him as if he knew how Lucas would react to that new boy. Suddenly, the eyes of the new boy were on him and his heart skipped a beat, catching Lucas off guard. His eyes held worlds in them.

“Would you like to introduce yourself?”, The Teacher asked with a sweet smile and the boy nodded shortly. He took one step forward, hands lazily in his pockets as if new days at elite schools were nothing new to him. The eyes of the boys found Lucas’ again and he could feel how the whole class seemed to hold their breaths.

“Hey. This is my first day at school after having a break for one year. I’m 22 years old and my name is Eliott Demaury.”

A gasp went through the class and he could feel how Yann went rigid next to Lucas. And Lucas could do nothing and watch as his world suddenly turned upside down within one tiny second, with the name of one man.

[sunsetscurving]

CHASING STARS

Ch. 11

ao3 link

In a world where reincarnation is common and expected, people stopped to care for a reason or how many times they already lived – they have no memory of their past life anymore.

But Lucas Lallemant can feel that this isn’t his first life, some shreds of his former life still present in his new one. He has this feeling that something from his past life tied him so much to it that he has to find it again in his new life.

Something. Or someone.

When Lucas finally woke up again, he was alone, wrapped tightly in a blanket which faintly smelled of something familiar and was still warm from another body. As Lucas opened his eyes slowly, the memories of the past night came rushing in so fast and heavy, that he shut his eyes tight again, wanting to treasure this moment of peace while being wrapped into Eliott’s blanket and his scent in general.

Eliott didn’t ask any question as Lucas just cuddled into him.

He was just there, taking care of Lucas and chasing away the nightmares with his tight embrace.

How the fuck am I supposed to sleep alone again after this?

Eventually, Lucas opened his eyes again, the sun already high in the sky. It had to be around noon and his phone was probably blowing up with notifications and new messages by now. But all he cared for right now was where Eliott was and why fate decided it wasn’t suitable for Lucas to wake up next to him.

Suddenly, Lucas heard some sort of music from the kitchen.

If you could even call this noise music.

He stood up, wrapping the blanket around himself and walked slowly through the hallway towards the kitchen, the music getting louder with every step he took.

And when he arrived at the doorstep of the kitchen, a wide and bright smile was spreading over Lucas’ face.

Eliott was making breakfast.

Well, at least he tried.

The toast he saw on the counter was burnt and the egg in the pan didn’t look so well either. But that was not the thing that made Lucas smile in the first place.

No, it was the way Eliott made breakfast.

He made breakfast while dancing around the whole room. He was so into the music, which Lucas now recognized as some kind of Dubstep, that he didn’t even realize Lucas standing there, watching the other boy swirl around to the steady beat, having a good time by himself. A smile was on Eliott’s face, silently mouthing the sounds with his mouth along with the music. He was still only wearing these boxers and this shirt and damn, was it even allowed to look that good? His hair was sticking out all around his head and Lucas couldn’t even remember a moment which made him smile this much, which made his insides warming up this much.

Lucas slightly shivered.

If someone would ask Lucas when he fell for Eliott, he would always recall this very moment where he was sure that he was in love with Eliott Demaury.

“You listen to Dubstep?”, asked Lucas a little bit loudly over the music, chuckling quietly as he Eliott swirled around and nearly stumbled over his own feet as he saw Lucas standing in the doorway. Eliott turned down the volume immediately, his cheeks surprisingly starting to redden.

Gosh, this is so fucking cute.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to recognize your fine dancing skills.”

Eliott and Lucas laughed unison and Eliott took some steps towards Lucas, looking down on him as he was standing in front of him. If he was kind of embarrassed because they literally cuddled all night long without a real reason to do so, he didn’t show it and Lucas was very grateful for that.

“How are you feeling?”, asked Eliott quietly and the kindness in his voice and the way he looked down at Lucas, made Lucas feel all the things.

“Better, I guess.”

“Good”, said Eliott and the smile on the other boy’s face made Lucas smile too. The events from the past night were quite distant by now, everything that happened seemed like some bad dream or something from a movie. And Lucas didn’t want to continue thinking about it anymore – he had other things to think about, positive things. Like Eliott.

“Would you like to have some breakfast? I—”

Eliott turned around and froze as he saw the “mess” he made with the burned toast and the weird-looking scrambled eggs in the pan which were slowly but surely starting to have some kind of black color too.

Eliott sighed dramatically and Lucas huffed a laugh.

“I really wanted to be a gentleman and make some breakfast for you. But the last time I properly cooked, I burnt the kitchen down.”

Lucas was really holding himself back to not laugh out loud.

“I appreciate your effort”, said Lucas with a grin on his lips and laid a hand on Eliott’s arm. And Eliott smiled this beautiful smile again which made his knees go weak. Suddenly, Lucas’ phone ringed with a new message. He left it on the hallway last night and got it from there before returning to Eliott. He sighed deeply after reading the message.

“My dad wants me to come home now”, said Lucas quietly and gave Eliott an apologetic look. But Eliott only nodded, looking over his shoulder.

“Perfect excuse to flee from my delicious breakfast.”

Lucas halted and started to protest but Eliott only laughed, silencing him with that.

“I’m joking. Of course your parents want to see you.”

“I’m sorry…”

Eliott shook his head.

“Don’t be.”

“I…” Lucas didn’t know how to start.

“I just want to thank you. Again. For everything”, Lucas said quietly, quiet satisfied with his words but it still wasn’t enough.

“I would always do it like that again”, said Eliott with a serious voice, Lucas believing him every word and his heart was beating faster at that. Eliott was still taking another step towards Lucas, the scent of him and the presence of his body so close to his own making Lucas go dizzy.

“I don’t regret any decision. I don’t regret coming to that party, I don’t regret drinking with your friends, I don’t regret dancing with you and I don’t regret staying behind to get you and to hold you while you were sleeping. So don’t think that I only did it because I thought you wanted me to. I did because I wanted to do it.”

Lucas couldn’t say anything at all. He was speechless. A very rare occasion, to be honest.

And before he could overthink it, he was standing in Eliott’s arm, hugging him and snuggling into his chest. It felt right at that very moment. It felt right because Eliott apparently was feeling familiar things when being around Lucas. It felt right because Lucas felt safe in his arms, words not being enough of how thankful he was for the very fact that he came into his life like some kind of thunderstorm. Eliott didn’t wait a single second before laying his arms around Lucas.

Don’t make me fall even harder for you than I already did, Eliott.

But it was too late for Lucas anyway.

.

The next days passed and Lucas was under really high protection.

His parents didn’t allow him to leave the house after it went dark, at least not alone. His parents, and also Lucas, were still slightly shocked about everything that happened. Lucas actually wanted to talk with them about the attack, discussing how what they should do now or how they could prevent something like this from happening again. But his parents kept their opinions and their words to themselves, processing the events on their own. Their only reaction was to keep an eye on Lucas the whole time, forbidding to go out at night without even telling him what they knew of this attack. So he also kept his feelings to himself too, only talking with his friends about the events.

But no one was there with them as Lucas lost it, panic so intense in his body, that he couldn’t even breath for some minutes. No one understood what had happened back there.

No one but Eliott.

He really wanted to see Eliott, to talk with him. He wanted to be in his arms again and feel as safe as he felt back then on the couch with only an inch between the two of them. He wanted to see him dancing to this dumb dubstep music again and he wanted to hold his hand, their fingers fitting together perfectly.

But instead of messaging Eliott, Lucas kept dreaming about leaving his golden castle for one night, spending time with Eliott. All of that while being too afraid to message the other boy because he didn’t want to be some kind of annoying.

y4z4s: anyone up for drinking some beers at my place?

basile_simple: when where how

monvoisintuturo: you could at least try to hide your excitement, bas

Lucas was laying in his bed, his usual place since that mess happened, staring at his screen and the messages from his group chat. He sighed deeply as he typed a reply, desperately wishing that his parents wouldn’t occupy him 24/7. Sneaking out had been easy in the past, but it was unthinkable right now.

lucallemant: I’m still under protection

y4z4s: oh c’mon lulu, it’s been a week

lucallemant: tell this to my parents, yann

basile_simple: mec, we’ll drink a beer for you

lucallemant: how heroic of you, basile

monvoisintuturo: another topic: has eliott messaged you recently?

Lucas looked up from his phone. Since he told his friends that Eliott kind of saved his life, they literally formed an “Eliott-Demaury-Fanclub” and under different circumstances, Lucas being more than a friend for Eliott, he would be very happy about all of this and the acceptance his friends finally had for Eliott. But Lucas was still not sure about Eliott’s feelings towards him, afraid, that he misinterpreted the signs between them, that he interpreted too much in all of this. His friends, on the contrary, were one hundred percent sure, that Eliott was totally into Lucas. And Lucas secretly hoped, that they were right.

lucallemant: nope

monvoisintuturo: have YOU messaged him?

lucallemant: nope again

basile_simple: lulu, you should definitely message him and ask him out. he’s probably losing his mind because he’s missing his bby

lucallemant: and then he can save me from my lonely tower or what? I’m still not allowed to leave the house, if you forgot about that

y4z4s: then you need to find another way

Suddenly, his phone vibrated with another message and his heart stopped to beat for a moment.

lucallemant: he just sent me a message

basile_simple: HA THE LOVE MASTER WAS RIGHT AGAIN

monvoisintuturo: what did he wrote?

y4z4s: aw, eli misses his boy

I think it was better when they hated him.

lucallemant: I’m gonna update you later

basile_simple: GO GET YOUR BOY

Lucas took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second before opening the message from Eliott. This boy had such a strong effect on him, it was not even normal anymore.

srodulv: hey biker boy ;)

lucallemant: hey hero

srodulv: oh, from stranger to hero, that’s what I call development

Lucas quietly chuckled to himself. The sun was slowly setting and another days was over where he just sat around in his room, his only adventure the way from his room to the fridge and back.

srodulv: you up for an adventure with your hero?

lucallemant: an adventure?

srodulv: I would like to kidnap you

lucallemant: I actually have enough from these kind of adventures

srodulv: come on, it will be fun – you’ll love it

Time with him alone. Something like a date. Only Eliott and him.

This is what dreams are made of.

But then Lucas remembered some tiny, little problem.

lucallemant: my parents forbit me to leave the house at night because of reasons you know

srodulv: oh

Lucas never thought that you could feel so many emotions through only one word.

srodulv: can’t you sneak out?

lucallemant: they’ll know

srodulv: you are surely not allowed to be out at night ALONE, right?

lucallemant: yeah, why?

srodulv: because when I’m picking you up from your house, you won’t be out alone

Lucas had to grin. Eliott was right – Lucas could just bent the rules a little bit.

This could actually work.

lucallemant: when will you be here?

srodulv: look outside

Lucas frowned, nearly falling out of his bed while trying to get to his window as fast as possible. As he drew the curtains aside, his jaw literally dropped. There was a car in front of his house and a tall and slender figure was leaning against it, the hood hiding his messy hair but not the grin on his lips as he looked up to Lucas now, the light from his phone screen illuminating his face.

And Lucas was grinning now too.

lucallemant: how did you know I wouldn’t say no?

srodulv: I just hoped so

lucallemant: I’ll be there in a second

Lucas never got dressed this quickly, throwing his Romance hoodie over himself and nearly tripping over his feet, as he made his way over to his own balcony. He usually never sneaked out this way but drastic times asked for drastic measures. He took a deep breath, aware, that Eliott was watching him the whole time, while Lucas started to climb down the ivory twine which was thankfully all over the façade of his whole house. He surprisingly didn’t had any difficulties getting down, the adrenaline rushing through his veins by the thought of being alone with Eliott. He jumped down the last few meters and suddenly felt hands on his waist, catching him slightly.

Lucas’ heart skipped a beat as he turned around, taking in Eliott who looked fucking hot again.

Is it even allowed to look this good?

“Are you ready for our little adventure?”, asked Eliott quietly into the tiny space between the two of them. And Lucas could only nod, a smile slowly spreading over his whole face.

“Let’s go.”

.

“No fucking way, Eliott Demaury.”

“Oh c’mon Lucas, it’s gonna be a lot of fun. You’ll love it.”

“Now I know how you murder people – you’re bringing them here and then they kill themselves by accident.”

“You can really be a dramatic little bitch.”

Lucas huffed a laugh while staring at the roller skate track in front of him, the music loud and the people dancing on while driving round after round on their roller skates. But Lucas had no fucking clue how to stand on these things, which were dangling from his hands, in the first place. He had to admit that he always wanted to try it, being a sucker for adrenaline and for everything connected to speed. But Eliott couldn’t possible know this and Lucas never tried it at all so…

“I’ll hold you, I promise.”

Lucas sighed and turned his head to Eliott who was grinning at him with light in his eyes.

The fucker knows which strings to pull.

“Okay”, said Lucas now with a resigned sigh, “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Lucas was not sure if he imagined it but it looked like Eliott made a little jump, excitement really clear on his face. And it made Lucas’ heart skip a beat to see the other boy so happy.

Lucas pulled on the shoes, Eliott being way quicker and it took him a lot of time to even stand up from his sitting position these devils on his feet. He slowly made his way to the entrance of the track, Eliott holding his hand the whole time while being fucking graceful on his roller skates as if he was born with them. And Lucas must have looked like a little kid who just tried to walk for the first time next to him.

Lucas stood at the entrance of the track for some seconds, his heart beating fast as he saw all the people rushing past them, being all safe on their roller skates.

“Eliott, I cannot—”

“You can. Trust me. I’ll catch you.”

Lucas looked over to Eliott now and the reassuring look in his eyes made him brave, made him sure that this was going to end well.

And after Lucas took a deep breath, Eliott was slowly pulling him onto the track, clutching his hand the whole time.

The first few meters were hell for Lucas. He had the feeling to fall down at any moment and he probably would have been on the ground numerous times by now if Eliott hadn’t been there. But he was. And he never let go of Lucas’ hand, speaking reassuring words and encouraging Lucas to keep going. He was very gentle, maneuvering him through the crowd of people having fun on the tracks. But for Lucas, it was like they were alone in this hall, just the two of them, feeling safe around the other one.

“Lucas?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re driving on your own.”

“What?!”

Lucas hadn’t realized that Eliott had let go of his hand after some time, Lucas moving on his own, driving on the roller skates and with the flow of the other people. And Eliott was driving next to him, a big smile on his face and something like pride in his gaze. And Lucas felt like cheering.

But his sudden mood change weren’t that good for his balance.

“Eliott!”

Lucas lost balance, stumbling as he tried to gain it back but he couldn’t find it anymore and was about to fall down backwards. But Eliott was there, again, catching him and holding him gently but tightly in his arms, making sure that he was okay with one quick glance over his body. The music was loud, the beat throbbing in Lucas’ head but he could still hear his rapid heartbeat over all the noise, looking straight into Eliott’s eyes.

“Should we quit for today?”, asked Eliott gently, his gaze all soft.

And Lucas started to grin, shaking his head.

“I ‘m just getting started.”

.

“This was fucking amazing”, said Lucas with a laugh, his hands buried into the pockets of his hoodie. They had spent several hours in the roller skate hall and Lucas nearly forgot the time and everything around him, like he always did when he was with Eliott. They were on their way back to Eliott’s car now, the moon high on the sky, shining down on them.

Eliott laughed his beautiful laugh, making Lucas’ smile even more.

“I knew that you would like it. You’ve always been a sucker for things like this.”

At this, Lucas frowned slightly.

“How do you know this? I haven’t told you about it yet.”

Eliott stopped in his tracks for a moment, seeming to think about what he just said. Lucas was not able to see his impression since Eliott’s back was turned towards him. But instead of being confused, Eliott looked over his shoulder, a smirk on his face.

“You’re flirting with poles while biking, coming out of it with a wound and you still keep biking. If your need for adrenaline isn’t obvious, I don’t know what is.”

Lucas laughed and looked down, being slightly embarrassed by the fact that this was Eliott’s and his second real conversation, the other boy still talking about it.

They were still some meters away from the car, when a lightning stretched over the sky and thunder could be heard in the distance. Lucas looked up, squinting slightly.

“Oh, I think it’s going to rain s—”

And before he could even finish his sentence, the sky was opening up. Eliott stared at Lucas and Lucas stared at Eliott and they both started to laugh loudly, shifting towards each other as if they were two sides of a magnet.

“We should probably run back to the car”, said Eliott with a laugh, standing close to Lucas while saying so and turned around, ready to go.

But Lucas laid a hand on Eliott’s wrist, holding him back from walking away.

This is it.

Lucas looked into Eliott’s eyes, both of them already wet to their bones from the rain. The drops were running down Eliott’s and Lucas’ face, blinding his sight slightly. But Lucas didn’t care. He only cared for the boy in front of him, for the light in his eyes and the smile on his lips and his slightly pink-tinted cheeks and the way he held Lucas on the roller skate track and the way he picked him up from his golden prison and how he saved his life and…

Lucas didn’t want to wait anymore.

Lucas would be brave now.

And in the next second, their lips were crushing together.

Lucas felt that Eliott wanted all of this as much as he wanted it. He felt it in the way the other boy’s arms wrapped around Lucas immediately, in the way Eliott kissed the fucking life out of him, in the way he could feel Eliott smiling at his lips, as if had waited all the time for this exact moment.

As did Lucas.

Lucas’ eyes were closed the whole time, his body flooded with happiness and joy and…

Oh my fucking god.

Lucas’ eyes opened rapidly during the kiss, their lips still locked while Lucas’ mind was suddenly flooded with pictures and moments and memories and…

Everything shifted into place.

It’s him.

And suddenly, he remembered.

[sunsetscurving]

CHASING STARS

Ch. 19

ao3 link

In a world where reincarnation is common and expected, people stopped to care for a reason or how many times they already lived – they have no memory of their past life anymore.

But Lucas Lallemant can feel that this isn’t his first life, some shreds of his former life still present in his new one. He has this feeling that something from his past life tied him so much to it that he has to find it again in his new life.

Something. Or someone.

TW: anxiety, death

Darkness.

Nothing but darkness.

And pain.

A lot of pain.

And a voice.

His voice.

Someone talking.

Lucas?

Lucas, where are you?

They had been dancing a second ago.

And then?

A shot.

A blinding pain.

His heart…

Stopped.

And his breathing?

Stopped.

He was going to die.

The immortal boy was dying.

Sirens.

No.

Someone talking to him.

Someone laying him down somewhere.

He would fight.

Fight for Lucas.

Fight for their love.

Fight for everything.

And suddenly.

Nothing.

No pain.

No Lucas.

Darkness.

Only Darkness.

.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea. We could also walk home”, said Eliott while holding Lucas’ hand.

But Lucas shook his head, pulling him to his motorbike and swinging himself on it.

“You act like I haven’t driven at night in ages.”

“Well… You haven’t. And there are cruel people out there at night.”

Lucas rolled his eyes playfully and handed Eliott his helmet, laughing.

“C’mon Eli. You’re my knight, you will defend me.”

Eliott couldn’t help himself and smirked now, climbing onto the seat behind Lucas and wrapped his arms around him. They had been dancing all night and the sexual tension between the two of them was high. Eliott’s hand slowly slid down Lucas’ chest, stopping just shortly above his jeans. And he could feel Lucas’ breathing faster.

“And if we would have walked home, I would have to wait even longer for you to undress me.”

Eliott laughed quietly and shifted even closer to Lucas.

“You’ve got a point.”

“I always do.”

And with that, they took off into the night. Eliott was happy with Lucas, the boy he couldn’t take his eyes off at college and he was happy to be in love with him. They were driving through the night, Eliott’s head leaning against Lucas’ shoulder.

“The project for my first short film is going really well. I just have to cut some things and put sound over it and—”

Eliott loved to listen to Lucas talking about the things he was passionate about. He imagined how his eyes were shining behind the helmet and how he beamed with light.

“And then I can hand it in and it will—”

Boom.

The noise come out of nowhere. Lucas lost control over his bike and before Eliott could even start to scream, they were crashing into a wall, both of them falling down from the vehicle. Eliott felt dizzy, his head was pounding with pain. But he pulled himself up, looking over to Lucas who was everything he cared for.

“Lulu? Are you okay?”, asked Eliott and crawled to his boyfriend who laid motionless in front of the wall.

“Lucas?”

Lucas was lying with his back to Eliott and he slowly turned him around, carefully in case he might be hurt.

And he was hurt.

Eliott had the feeling to faint.

Lucas’ whole body was covered in… blood.

Fucking blood.

“Lucas? Oh my fucking god. Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck.”

Eliott couldn’t see where the blood came from.

But he knew that he had to act.

“HELP! I NEED HELP!”, screamed Eliott and looked around. But he saw only one person. A person with a gun. A person with a gun who was grinning and now turning around, running down the street. He would never forget that face.

Eliott looked back to Lucas, fully in a panic mood right now as the realization hit in.

Lucas had been shot.

And he was dying.

“Lucas?”, Eliott’s voice was shaking now and he shook his boyfriend slightly. But Lucas didn’t open his eyes. His body was damaged too much.

And Eliott could do nothing as he watched the love of his life die.

He wept openly now, leaning down and whispering words into Lucas’ ear – a promise.

“I will find you again. I will wait for you and you will be reincarnated. And I will find you again in your next lifetime.”

Eliott cried and held Lucas’ close as he watched Lucas’ pulse faint more and more.

“This is not the end.”

.

Eliott woke up with a jolt. The light above him was blinding him and he had to blink a few times before his vision finally adjusted itself.

Where am I?

Eliott slowly turned his head, looking around. There were beeping machines, and sunlight was spilling into the room. Everything was white and clean and he was lying in a bed, not really able to move.

And suddenly, he realized.

He was in a hospital.

And he was awake.

I’m alive.

He was alive and not dead.

He made it.

But how…?

There was only one way to kill him and the fucker who tried to kill Lucas hit him directly into the heart as he threw himself in front of Lucas. He had to be dead by now.

But instead…

Instead he felt more alive than ever.

Because this is the case.

Eliott didn’t know where he got that information from, if his body told him all of this or some higher force whispered it into his mind.

But he knew that from this moment on, he wasn’t immortal anymore.

He could feel everything so clear, so much more. The pain he was in was not dull, it was a blinding fire. The colours looked differently and everything seemed to be… more real.

Maybe it was the near-death experience, maybe it was sheer will to be together with Lucas and grow old with him without Lucas looking at Eliott who stayed young and regretting every decision in his life.

Or maybe it was fate.

But Eliott wasn’t immortal anymore and he couldn’t be happier.

“Monsieur Demaury, you’re finally awake.”

Eliott turned his head as someone spoke to him and the doctor walked over to him with a smile on his face, looking absolutely content.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I rose from death”, answered Eliott honestly and the doctor couldn’t hide a smile anymore.

“Which is exactly the case, monsieur”, answered the doctor and took position in front of Eliott’s bed, “But you and your body fought really hard. You were lucky that the bullet only skimmed your heart and not went through it. That’s why you survived. And because of you not giving up, of course.”

What a fucking lucky bastard I am.

Eliott could do nothing but smile right now and he hoped that the doctor knew how thankful he was for his work. But the doctor apparently knew what Eliott needed now more than anything in this world.

“There’s a young man outside who had been waiting the whole day for you to wake up.”

Eliott’s eyes lit up and he slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position.

“Please, send him in.”

The doctor smiled and opened the door.

And Eliott couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. Lucas was running inside as fast as he could and threw his arms around Eliott. It was painful because of the still fresh wounds but Eliott couldn’t care less right now. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and both of them wept for some minutes, just holding the other one while realizing that they had beaten death again.

“You’re here”, whispered Eliott and Lucas snuggled his face into Eliott’s neck.

“You’re here”, answered Lucas and pulled away just a tiny bit to look at Eliott. To see if he was really real after all.

“I thought… I thought I lost you forever.”

“I thought that too…”

Eliott suddenly remembered the dream he had. No – the flashback he had. Of Lucas dying. And maybe this was the point where his body decided, where Eliott decided that he could never ever make Lucas feel all the things he went through while losing Lucas.

“But you’re here now…”

“And I will never go away”, whispered Eliott and pulled Lucas into a tight hug again. They sat like this for minutes, just breathing in the other one while trying to understand everything that happened. Eliott survived and Lucas survived too. Both of them would be happy now, no one could stop them.

And they would grow old and grey together.

“Lucas?”

“Hm?”

“Would you still find me attractive with grey hair?”

Lucas lifted his head and looked at Eliott with big eyes. And Eliott could nearly see how realization hit him, how he understood what Eliott was saying. How he understood that Eliott wasn’t immortal anymore. And Lucas didn’t care where he got that information from and how he knew that. He just felt that it was right and that it was good and that everything would be okay from now on.

“You will be the hottest grandpa in town”, answered Lucas with tears in his eyes and Eliott couldn’t help himself and drowned Lucas into a million kisses.

[sunsetscurving]

CHASING STARS

Ch. 13

ao3 link

In a world where reincarnation is common and expected, people stopped to care for a reason or how many times they already lived – they have no memory of their past life anymore.

But Lucas Lallemant can feel that this isn’t his first life, some shreds of his former life still present in his new one. He has this feeling that something from his past life tied him so much to it that he has to find it again in his new life.

Something. Or someone.

TW: death

Lucas sneaked into the house again, his parents long asleep and surely thinking that Lucas was too.

But Lucas wasn’t asleep.

Lucas had never been more awake.

As he climbed up the stairs quietly, his eyes darted around, his breathing still heavily while he took in his surroundings.

How did the house in his former life look like? Did his parents loved him the way his parents do now? And could he even call his parents “parents” now after everything he knew?

As Lucas ran through the night, he realized that not everything from his past life seemed to come back. He didn’t know about his family life, about his social life. He only knew some shreds of it. But every clear memory, every clear moment was connected to Eliott.

Eliott, who Lucas just left in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes. Who probably thought that Lucas must hate him now after everything came back in a rush.

And Lucas wasn’t sure what to feel right now either.

In his room, he curled into a little ball on his bed, his eyes closed while he tried to shut out the stream of pictures and memories who didn’t seem to stop. Additionally to that, question after question was fighting its way into Lucas’ mind and he just wished for a fucking goddamn second of peace and silence.

Why him?

Why Eliott?

Why did he found him again?

Did he wait for Lucas?

Lucas wasn’t sure of anything except one thing:

That kissing Eliott was the right thing to do.

He still remembered the way Eliott’s lips moved against his own, the taste of his lips making Lucas dizzy with desire and so many other feelings.

Lucas opened his eyes.

He had been searching for confirmation for his theory of being reincarnated. And he always thought that there had to be a reason for this feeling. That there had to be a reason for his reincarnation. And no matter which way Lucas would go from here, he knew that this reason was Eliott. That Lucas was meant to find Eliott again in this lifetime, that the strong feelings between them was more than life itself.

Lucas could only imagine how Eliott felt right now. He apparently waited for Lucas, how the fuck all of this should work out was another question. But he waited for Lucas all these years and Lucas… Lucas just left without an explanation and without a word.

And this was not fair at all.

Lucas took out his phone from his pocket, staring at Eliott’s and his chat and absentmindedly scrolling through all of their messages. Something inside of Lucas warmed as he scanned the messages and their flirting.

lucallemant: eliott?

Lucas was not even sure if Eliott wanted to talk with him or see him after all of this. He could understand it though. He reacted like an idiot, running away from Eliott as if he had been the fault for all of this.

Well, maybe he was.

But on a positive note.

I hope so at least.

srodulv: lucas

where are you?

are you at home?

He really was worried about Lucas and Lucas sighed deeply, the pictures in his mind and the steady flow of memories slowly but surely fading away, leaving Lucas with the headache of a the century.

lucallemant: yeah, I’m @ home. Don’t worry.

srodulv: okay

Lucas didn’t know what to write next. And neither did Eliott as it seemed.

srodulv: I’m sorry

Lucas jumped slightly as his phone vibrated in his hands without a warning. He frowned after reading this message.

lucallemant: for what?

srodulv: for everything

Lucas’ eyes were hurting from the bright light of his phone screen, making his headache even worse. But he couldn’t take his eyes away from it, from the message you just received. This seemed like a goodbye and Lucas was not ready to let Eliott go. Not after all of this happened. Not when there were so many questions left unanswered. Not when his heart was racing every fucking time the other boy was near him.

lucallemant: don’t be

srodulv: thank you for this beautiful evening. and the beautiful moments with you. i am sorry

No, no, no. Do something, Lucas Lallemant. Now.

lucallemant: I’m sorry for running away

srodulv: what

lucallemant: I’m sorry for leaving you there without an explanation. I shouldn’t have run away

srodulv: you just found that you’re reincarnated, i would have jumped off of a fucking bridge

Lucas snorted.

lucallemant: yeah, well, I didn’t feel that dramatic tbh

Lucas just realized that a smile has creeped onto his face and he was kind of shocked by himself. Lucas’ whole world was shattering and turning upside down and Eliott still made it to make him smile.

The best confirmation that this is the right way to go.

srodulv: I’m glad you didn’t

lucallemant: can I see you tomorrow?

srodulv: you want to see me?

Lucas could literally feel Eliott gasping on his side of the phone, clutching the device tighter in his hands. And Lucas felt himself doing the same.

lucallemant: I always want to see you

Lucas was hundred percent honest.

srodulv: when? where? Should I pick you up?

lucallemant: let’s meet in the park behind your house at 11 in the morning, I’ll come by bike

srodulv: don’t run over innocent poles while you’re on the road

A quiet laugh was escaping Lucas by now. Some minutes ago, he had been crying like a baby, not knowing how to continue with life after all these information flooded his brain, clocking it with pictures and memories which didn’t belong to him and belonged to him nevertheless to the same time. And now he was writing with Eliott who always made him feel good about himself.

The reason for his reincarnation.

And if Eliott really was the reason, if finding Eliott really was the reason for his reincarnation…

Could all of this be bad then?

lucallemant: I’ll try my best

srodulv: good biker boy

lucallemant: <3

And when he sent that heart, he felt a rush going through his whole body.

And a voice whispered inside of him.

Well done.

.

Lucas was nervous. He didn’t know what to expect from this meeting, what would await him. But he also was nervous because he would see Eliott again and alone the thought of him, the memory of the nightly kiss they shared yesterday, made his heart beat like crazy. He could only imagine how Eliott must feel right now.

Lucas parked his bike on a street corner, running a hand through his messy hair after taking off the helmet, scanning his surroundings. After yesterday, everything seemed to be different. The light, the weather, everything.

Or you start to imagine things, idiot.

Lucas took a deep breath before walking into the park. Some couples were walking hand in hand and Lucas’ mind wandered to Eliott and how good it would feel to walk with him through the city and—

Lucas shook his head slightly. There were more important things to talk and think about then his crush on the boy who kissed him yesterday. Lucas had some struggles to breathe suddenly as he took more and more steps into the park. He felt some tension inside of him and he was afraid to get to know more about his past life and everything connected to it.

“Lucas.”

Lucas swirled around as he heard someone say his name.

And as his gaze landed on Eliott, something inside of him loosened.

The tension which were occupying his whole body was slowly but surely fading away, leaving only some sort of… peace. He kept staring at Eliott as if he was some kind of god and he was teleported back to the moment he first saw him in the cafeteria.

Not the first time ever, though.

Eliott was slowly walking towards him, hair messy, eyebags dark purple as if he hadn’t been sleeping a lot last night. Which was probably the truth. He had his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, shyly looking down as if he was afraid to see the emotions on Lucas’ face. But Lucas’ body literally ached to touch Eliott, to be in his arms, to let him carry all the troubles and worries away. And so Lucas listened to his body.

“Eliott”, whispered Lucas as if saying his name would make everything better.

And it did.

Lucas reached Eliott in a few strides and they were looking into the other’s eyes, not sure what to do with themselves and how to react around the other one. But Lucas knew that he felt better now that he was with Eliott. That he needed him.

“I’m sorry—”

“I’m sorry—”

Both of them were talking to the same time, the same words and Lucas huffed a laugh, looking down at his shoes. He could feel the warmth of Eliott’s smile on him and lifted his head to look at the other boy again.

“There is no need to be sorry. Really, Eliott. I’m the one who’s sorry for running away like a foul.”

“I should’ve told you.”

“I would’ve laughed at you. Who would believe you if you told them that they’re reincarnated?”

Eliott looked at Lucas and Lucas looked at Eliott and a smile was suddenly breaking out on both of their lips. Lucas took the first step. He reached for Eliott’s hand, squeezing it reassuring before taking a deep breath.

“Let’s sit down somewhere, shall we?”

.

“So, that’s why you knew that I like hot chocolate.”

“You always hated coffee with a burning passion”, said Eliott with a laugh and leaned back against the tree trunk, “It just slipped off of my tongue when we had that date.”

Lucas smiled and picked at the grass under him. They were sitting under some trees, the shadow protecting them from the warm spring sun. They had been talking for a while now, Lucas asking questions and Eliott answering them. About the moments, the memories of the things that never happened but did happen, about everything… and everything Lucas remembered was true.

And Eliott knew everything about it.

“What about my parents?”, asked Lucas now.

Eliott looked up into the leaves of the trees dancing in the wind.

“They loved you. Like your parents do now.”

Lucas waited for more and he heard Eliott sighing which made him lift his head.

“I’m not sure if it’s good for you to know… a lot more than you already remember. I know that you have questions and I know that you would like to know everything… But”, Eliott stopped and took a deep breath, shrugging lightly, “It’s gone. It’s another lifetime, you know?”

Lucas nodded lightly and he understood what Eliott meant. It would only make things more difficult. He would maybe search for his former parents. And they would look at him with wide eyes, asking who the fuck he is because they wouldn’t remember their dead son who was now not their son anymore. Because no one had any memories of the reincarnated people.

Lucas looked up, some grass in his hand.

No one but him.

“I… I have one last question”, said Lucas now quietly, his heart staring to beat faster immediately. He had been too afraid to ask this question, to talk about it. And he still was not sure if he would like to know it or just… drop it.

But Eliott was the only person who could help him in this case.

Now or never.

“How did I die?”

Something on Eliott’s face changed.

Eliott was slowly drawing himself away from Lucas, Lucas could literally feel how much this question did to him. Eliott went to a place now which had been buried inside of him for so fucking long and Lucas immediately felt regret asking this question. It was selfish of him to think that it wouldn’t affect Eliott, that all of that hadn’t affected Eliott.

“You don’t need to answer this if you—”

“It had been a lovely day”, started Eliott now and Lucas could feel the hairs on his neck slowly rising, going quiet immediately.

“We had been out, celebrating the 14th of July on the streets. We had such a lovely time and everything was great, we were in love and we sang and we drank and we danced.”

Eliott took a deep breath, blinking rapidly as if fighting some tears which blurred his sight.

“You took me home. You had a motorbike back then too and I hated it.”

Lucas smiled a bit now but it faded away as soon as Eliott continued to talk.

“We were nearly home. My arms were wrapped around you and you were talking about some project you did in college and suddenly…”, Eliott had to stop again, swallowing slightly, “The shot came out of nowhere.” Eliott closed his eyes for a second as if he couldn’t take all the memories which were now flooding his mind. “If I listen closely, I can still hear the shot ringing through the night. You lost control over your bike and we crashed into a wall in a dark alley. I didn’t care about me being hurt or bruised, I didn’t care about the stupid bike. I only saw the blood on your chest and how the speck of it bloomed more and more on your otherwise white shirt and…”

And now, tears were rolling down Eliott’s cheeks. Something inside of Lucas broke and he felt… empty.

He had been shot.

He had been killed on purpose.

“I swore that I would find that pig and that I would kill it with my bare hands. And I swore that I would find you again, no matter the costs.” Eliott’s voice was hoarse and broken and Lucas felt himself shifting closer to Eliott, wanting to give him some kind of comfort although he knew that no one could take away the pictures from Eliott, the regret he felt.

“I could’ve saved you. I said that it wouldn’t be safe to drive through this kind of neighborhood at night.”

“It’s not your fault, Eliott”, said Lucas now quietly, the first words after hearing how he died.

“It is. And you cannot tell me otherwise.”

Lucas bit his lips and he didn’t know what to feel. He felt empty, he felt like all of that didn’t belong to him. And yet it did.

“When you died in my arms, my world collapsed. You… you were the love of my life. And I swore to you that I would wait. It were the last words I said to you before you…” Eliott rubbed over his eyes, taking a shaky breath, “I hoped that some higher force would decide that we belonged together. I prayed that I would get another chance to… to make things right.”

Lucas swallowed, laying a hand on Eliott’s hand. Eliott now looked up, straight into Lucas’ ocean blue eyes and a smile was fighting its way on his face, chasing away the pictures and memories from another lifetime.

“And now you’re back.”

“And now I’m back”, repeated Lucas with a lot of fondness in his voice.

“Thank you. For telling me.”

“You’ve always asked yourself why you’re afraid of loud noises, right?”

Lucas nodded shortly.

“It’s because of how you died. Our phobias come from the way we died and since you died because of a loud bang, you have phonophobia. And because you were shot in your chest, you always tend to rub circles over your chest without even realizing.”

Lucas stared at him.

So Arthur was right…

“This… this is all so…”

“So crazy? Unbelievable? Fucked up?”

Lucas snorted lightly.

“Fucked up, yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

Lucas and Eliott were sitting in silence for some moments, every one of them going after their own thoughts. Lucas knew now how he died. He knew why he had phonophobia. And he knew why he was being reincarnated: Because Eliott’s love tied him to the world of the living.

But…

“Wait”, said Lucas now, frowning again and looking at Eliott. The question which was now fighting its way to the surface of his mind had been there before. But he fought it back, other questions more important.

But this was actually the question he should’ve asked at the beginning of it all.

“How… How are you still the same age as twenty years ago? I mean… you should’ve been an adult by now, you shouldn’t even be able to remember me, no one who I knew in my former life does and still…”

Eliott just looked at him with an expression on his face Lucas couldn’t quite name. He looked like he knew that this would come. That he was already prepared for something like this.

“How is this possible?”, asked Lucas now, kind of afraid to hear the answer.

Eliott took a deep breath now, running a hand through his hair while laying his head back on the tree behind him, apparently searching for the right words.

“Well…”, started Eliott and Lucas could hear his heartbeat in his own ears, “I’ve never had the time to tell you or the courage but…”

Eliott took another deep breath, now turning his head to Lucas, looking straight into his eyes, straight into his soul.

“I’m immortal.”

Lucas’ stopped to breath for a second, his jaw dropped.

Holy fucking shit.

[sunsetscurving]

CHASING STARS

Ch. 16

ao3 link

In a world where reincarnation is common and expected, people stopped to care for a reason or how many times they already lived – they have no memory of their past life anymore.

But Lucas Lallemant can feel that this isn’t his first life, some shreds of his former life still present in his new one. He has this feeling that something from his past life tied him so much to it that he has to find it again in his new life.

Something. Or someone.

TW: anxiety, injuries

Lucas seemed to move in slow motion. People were pushing past him to save themselves and he was transported back to the day where someone was shooting at the party of his parents, where Eliott saved him and his life.

Maybe it was the same man who just shot Eliott.

Lucas couldn’t seem to get closer to Eliott who curled himself into a ball on the street. Someone was grabbing his arm and Lucas slowly turned his head to see Yann pulling him faster towards Eliott. Lucas wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to see his boyfriend injured and bleeding because of him. Because something terrible happened in his past life and the person who destroyed Eliott’s life with Lucas’ dead was back.

Lucas’ phonophobia nearly kicked in as the screams were getting louder and the sirens of the police cars were getting closer.

Not now, not now, not—

“Fuck, Lucas. Look at me.”

Yann’s screaming voice pulled Lucas out of his trance, his body seeming to forget about his phonophobia. And his mind finally seemed to realize that this was not about him but about Eliott.

“Yann”, said Lucas’ breathless as if he had been under water for a long, long time. And Yann knew that Lucas was in shock, he knew Lucas better than himself sometimes and he just pulled the smaller boy into a hug for a moment while the mess, which was the parade some moments before, was going on and on.

Lucas enjoyed the few moments of peace in Yann’s arms. But then he heard Arthur saying Eliott’s name and everything in Lucas only wanted one thing now: To make sure that Eliott was okay. So he nearly pushed Yann away and made his last meters through the crowd, nearly falling down on his knees in front of Eliott. His face was distorted from the pain and he was clutching a spot on his belly where the blood was leaking through his hands.

But he was alive. And that was everything that mattered for now.

“Eli…”, whispered Lucas and pushed a strand of Eliott’s hair out of his eyes while his fingers were shaking. Eliott didn’t reply but only searched for Lucas’ hand with his own, which was not full of blood. Lucas’ squeezed his hands, every word he couldn’t see just now laid into that gesture and he was sure, that Eliott would understand.

“We need to get you to a hospital”, said Lucas with a shaking voice, close to losing his senses and on the edge of a panic attack. He wanted to scream and to cry to the same time, cursing this horrible man and killing him with his bare hands. But he couldn’t do all of this now. He had to be strong for Eliott, who usually was that part in their relationship. Now it was Lucas’ task to hold all of it together.

“Guys, please get us a doctor. I’ll stay here with—”

“No.”

Lucas halted in his words, his head whipping around from looking at the boys to look at Eliott with wide eyes.

“No? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Eliott shook his head.

“Come here”, he said with a weak voice and Lucas was not fucking sure if this was the right time for some cuddling. But he leaned down nevertheless, kissing Eliott’s cheek while hoping it would give the other boy some sort of comfort. But Eliott apparently didn’t need any comfort. He only grabbed Lucas’ hand tighter, forcing him to stay this close.

“I won’t die, Lucas. I’m immortal, forgot about that?”

Some sense was dawning in Lucas.

He was shot in the belly.

Not directly in his heart.

He would live. And his immortal body would recover very soon. Of course, the wound and the impact of the shot were hurting him. And of course, he was losing a lot of blood. But all of this was nothing that could kill him.

And his friends couldn’t know about this.

Lucas slowly nodded, signalling Eliott with that, that he understand and that he would change the course of their actions for now. If they would take Eliott to a hospital, the doctors would ask him questions. Questions how it was possible for him to survive a wound like that for so long and with that much blood loss. And he couldn’t answer them because people like Eliott weren’t supposed to exist.

“Okay, we’re doing it differently. No hospital.”

“Are you fucking mad, man?”, asked Basile with a high pitched voice and wide eyes.

“I have to agree with Basile here for once”, answered Arthur who looked equally shock behind his big glasses. Lucas couldn’t blame them. For any other human being, Eliott was close to death and only a doctor could maybe help him now. But Eliott was something special, he was more than a human being and to explain this to his friends just now was impossible.

Lucas slowly sat up, driving both of his hands through his hair while taking a deep breath.

“If we’re bringing him to a hospital now, the doctors would ask questions. And the police too. Questions about what happened and why he even attacked that guy and—”

“Yeah, I also would like to know how you even knew that he had a gun”, said Yann now while furrowing his eyebrows.

“Another story”, said Lucas quickly and looked at his friends, “Look, you guys have to trust me now. We have to bring him to his apartment. His flat mate will know what to do.”

At least he had been on earth long enough on this earth to know at least something about it.

Yann, Arthur and Basile were exchanging glances now, communicating with their eyes without speaking. But Lucas knew his friends too good to see the exact moment they decided to agree to Lucas’ mad plan. Yann sighed deeply and leaned down, the police officers approaching some people to talk with them about what happened and who started all of it. Most people already left and if they wouldn’t leave now too, the police would find them, see that Eliott was bleeding like crazy and ask the exact questions which couldn’t be answered just now.

“Okay, where do we have to go?”

A smile started to spread on Lucas’ face as Yann officially agreed to their plan and he explained them where Eliott lived. Lucas turned around to his boyfriend, who apparently still was in pain and it hurt Lucas more than he would ever admit. He planted a soft kiss on Eliott’s forehead and looked at Eliott.

“Can you walk?”, Lucas asked softly and Eliott nodded shortly.

“I’ll try.”

Lucas smiled and with a nod, all of them were helping Eliott up on his feet, covering his bleeding body with their jackets and their own bodies so the police wouldn’t get suspicious. Eliott groaned silently, his teeth clenched together and every muscle of him was tensed. Lucas and Yann laid an arm around Eliott, helping him to stand. Everyone was out of breath by the moment Eliott was on his feet, ready to walk.

“If this has already been so difficult, how should we survive an half an hour walk through the whole city?”, asked Basile out of breathe and Lucas shot him a look.

“How very optimistic from you, Basile”, mumbled Eliott and Arthur couldn’t help but laugh quietly.

“At least he hasn’t lost his humour till now.”

And with that statement, Arthur made Eliott smile a bit which warmed Lucas’ heart enormously. They would make it. They could make it.

They had to.

“Okay, let’s go”, said Lucas softly and the little group with the shot boy in the middle of them was moving forward, step by step, towards a sanctuary.

.

“Fucking hell”, murmured Eliott as they finally reached his house. He couldn’t believe that he was still conscious by now. The boys had nearly carried him all the way, Eliott not being able to walk properly at all with a big, open wound in his belly. This was not the first time he had been shot in his immortal life but it hurt like shit every fucking time.

“You did so well till now”, said Lucas’ soft voice close to his ear and Eliott remembered why he got that wound. Because of that fucking piece of shit who killed Lucas in his former life. And he dragged all of the boys into this whole affair without their knowledge.

Only because Eliott was so stupid and unable to control his temper.

You stupid idiot.

He deserved every little bit of the pain he was in.

“Okay, you can leave him to me and his flatmate now.”

“You sure?”, asked Yann. He was breathing heavily, as were all of them, to be honest, but he still was worried that Lucas couldn’t make it on his own.

He was still worried about Eliott and Eliott was not sure if he deserved this amount of kindness.

“Sure, get some rest.”

“Thank you”, mumbled Eliott and lifted his head. His skin was covered in sweat from the pain and his messy hair was sticking to his forehead. But he wouldn’t let all of them go without thanking them.

“I really, really appreciate your help.”

“Get well soon, mec”, said Basile and gave Eliott a soft clap on his back, “I need you to play video games with me again soon.”

Eliott smiled weakly and nodded.

“I’ll give my best.”

And with that, Arthur, Basile and Yann were leaving, breathing heavily while leaning against each other for support, sweaty but happy, that they could help Eliott. For now, it was just Lucas and him again. Eliott looked up to Lucas and allowed himself to be weak now. He buried his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck and took a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry”, whispered Eliott and he swallowed down the stupid tears which were threating to run down his cheeks.

“I should have controlled my temper. And you should have run away. And—”

“Shut up, Eliott.”

Eliott lifted his head and saw a soft expression on Lucas’ face which stood in a great contrast to his words.

“We can talk about all of this later, okay?”

Eliott nodded and watched as Lucas rang the bell.

“Yup?”

“Idriss? I need your help here.”

“Lucas? What is—”

“Just come down, won’t you?”

With a click, the door opened and Lucas dragged Eliott inside the hallway. Idriss was running down the stairs and as he saw Eliott, he stopped in his tracks, his jaw dropping.

“Holy fucking shit, Eliott!”

“Shhhhhh, not the whole house needs to know that I should have been dead by now”, hissed Eliott and he could hear a quiet chuckle from Lucas next to him. It warmed his cold heart.

“What the fuck happened?”, asked Idriss and rushed down the last steps. He was way taller and also stronger than Lucas and Eliott was glad that Lucas didn’t refuse to step aside as Idriss laid an arm around Eliott to help him up the stairs.

“I saw the man who…”

“He saw the man who killed me and wanted to get his revenge on him.”

“This is NOT what happened”, protested Eliott and groaned as he tried to climb the stairs, “I saw him with a pistol and I didn’t want him to make another murder at the pride parade.”

“So… that means you saved the whole pride parade?”

“I mean, I don’t know if you could call it like this…”

“Yeah, he did”, answered Lucas for Eliott and held his hand the whole time. Eliott was glad that he could squeeze something to distract himself from the pain he was in.

“Our hero,” said Idriss with a grin and pushed open the door with his foot.

“Now you are mocking me.”

Eliott was so glad to finally be at home. Lucas and Idriss helped him to the couch and as he finally fell onto it, Eliott closed his eyes for a moment. His body was still so full of adrenaline that sleep wouldn’t get to him soon but laying here and not needing to stand upright was enough for now. Idriss pulled a chair to the couch while Lucas kneeled down next to Eliott’s head, pressing a kiss to his cheek and taking his hand in his own. Eliott felt so much love right now that he nearly forgot what they were talking about just moments before.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say this”, said Idriss now and leaned back in his chair, “I just think it’s, I don’t know, kinda dumb that you put yourself in this situation. Every other man would have been dead by now.

“I just saw red as I spotted that man, I couldn’t think straight.”

“Eli.”

Eliott looked up and was aware of Lucas watching him the whole time.

“You cannot kill this man for something he maybe doesn’t even remember anymore”, said Idriss with a serious tone in his voice, “I can understand that you want to see him dead. But every person should have forgotten about Lucas�� former existence.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but—”

“He remembers.”

Eliott forgot his pain for a moment and his eyes flicked to Lucas who had gone very still over this whole conversation.

“What?”, breathed Eliott now and he felt like the ground would swallow him immediately.

“He remembers me. I saw it in his eyes and the way he looked at me. The realization hit him as he spotted me in the crowd.”

Eliott had the feeling to throw up right there and then.

“But this is not possible. He cannot remember you. Are you sure that he—”

“I am sure”, said Lucas seriously, “I didn’t just imagine that. I saw it with my own eyes.” He now turned to Eliott who wasn’t able to speak at all. “That’s why I wasn’t there earlier. I… I was frozen in place because I also recognized him.”

“Lucas…”

Eliott couldn’t hide the tears anymore. The pain and the things that happened were too much for him now.

And the guilt.

The fucking guilt.

“Oh fuck”, whispered Eliott now and ran a shaking hand through his hair, “This – This is all my fault.”

“Eliott”, said Idriss now but Eliott couldn’t listen to him just now.

“I… I wanted to make things better this time. And now… now he knows that you still live. And he will try to kill you again. And this is all my fault. If I would have controlled my temper and myself, he wouldn’t know about you and—”

“And someone else would be dead by now”, said Lucas and Eliott stopped to ramble for a moment. Lucas looked at him with those beautiful blue eyes and he couldn’t believe that this boy fell in love with him again. He didn’t deserve him or any of his love. And now his boy was in danger again. He couldn’t let something happen to him, he needed to protect him – he owned him that and so fucking more.

“What happened, happened”, continued Lucas now while squeezing Eliott’s hand reassuringly, “You told me to stay behind but I didn’t listen. So it’s my fault. And he saw me, yeah. But what now? He maybe won’t be so dumb to try killing me again. We are prepared now, we know what to look out for.”

“How… How can you be so calm?”, asked Eliott with a broken voice and his gaze flew from Lucas to Idriss, “How can both of you be so calm?”

“Because Lucas’s right. We know who to look out for. We know where we should pay more attention and where not. And Lucas was reincarnated for another chance in life – why should all of this happen again?”

Lucas and Eliott already talked about it and Eliott knew Lucas now too good to not see the shadow passing behind his eyes. He knew that his boyfriend was afraid and that all of this was his fault.

“And… And what should we do now?”, whispered Eliott with a broken voice. He couldn’t believe that he really was that dumb. That the murderer from his former Lucas knew about his new Lucas now.

“You are going to get well now”, said Lucas with a little smile and laid his head on the pillow next to Eliott’s, “And then… then we are just going to live our life. Minute by minute.”

Eliott looked into those blue eyes and got lost in them.

Maybe Lucas was right. Maybe Eliott was chasing a ghost. And he couldn’t live in the past, he had to be there for the present Lucas.

“Okay?”, asked Lucas.

The fatigue was finally coming for Eliott. The pain inside his bones was dull now but his body needed time to fix the things that happened to him. Eliott could only nod while grabbing Lucas’ hand, holding it so tightly as if his life depended on it.

He couldn’t lose Lucas once more.

It would break him.

“Okay”, where Eliott’s last words before his body finally shut down and he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.