#cesar diaz angst

[t0yac1d]

My Juliet, my special girl (C. Diaz x Fem!Reader)

I hope that she looks at me and thinks, "Shit, he is so pretty"

Warnings: gang violence, death, after Olivia's Quince, blood, contemplating suicide

Word Count: 889

It was the morning after Olivia's Quince. The morning after a beautiful party. The morning after Latrelle shot Ruby and killed Olivia.

"It's all my fault."

"I shouldn't have shown mercy to Latrelle."

"I shouldn't have gone after him in the first place."

Cesar blamed and hated himself deeply.

He hated what happened to Ruby and Olivia because in his eyes, that should’ve been him.

In his eyes, that should’ve been him who got shot.

In his eyes, that should’ve been him who got killed. 

I need to cry, but I can't get anything out of my eyes,

Cesar sat on the edge of his bed, eyes filled with frustrated tears that threatened to spill but they wouldn’t fall. No matter how upset he was, they wouldn’t pour.

Or my head. 

And oh my god, the night. That night kept repeating in his brain. 

The sound of the gunshot.

The sound of Ruby screaming his name before getting shot. 

The sounds of Geny and Ruben screaming as their son lay on the ground, bleeding out. 

Every little detail played continuously in his brain. It was like a record player stuck in a loop.

Did I die? I need to run,

Days went by without Cesar coming out of the house. He felt like an empty body, just moving on its own throughout the day.  

but I can't get out of bed for anyone.

He was scared. 

Not of Latrelle or any gang member after him. 

But of his friends and Ruby’s family. 

What if they all hated him? He wouldn’t blame them, but this was the last thing he expected that would break the group up. 

He couldn’t get out of bed to see anyone.

 Not for you,

Not even for the girl he wanted to live for. 

When he did get the courage to go outside, he went to school first. He wanted to see if everyone still wanted to be his friend. Because if not, then he’d just apologize and go away. Leave their lives for good and keep them out of harm’s way. 

When Cesar got to school, no one greeted him. It was like he didn’t exist. 

He hated how no one talked to him, but he couldn’t blame them. He took their friend away.

Cesar skipped a couple classes that day. He just sat in an empty and dark classroom, silently sobbing and crying. 

My sour boy is a pain, 

His chest hurt with each sob he let out, 

I wanna shoot him in the brain,

He doesn’t deserve to live. It should’ve been him instead of Olivia.

He feels like if he died, everything would be better for his friends. 

 but I'd miss him in the morning. 

But a part of him says that this isn’t the way to think. That what happened has already happened and there’s not much to do about it but move on and make amends.

It really hurts when I need to so bad, but I can't see her..

He missed you, 

My Juliet, 

He missed you so dearly.

My special girl.

The only girl that can really, truly help him through a time like this.

But I need to understand when I can power through,

Because he knows you’ll get him through this, and help guide him to the right choice here. 

Cesar pulled his phone out with shaky hands and sent a text to you, he was sure there were a few words that were misspelled, but you’ll understand what he meant. Hopefully. 

He sat in that classroom, patiently waiting for you to come to him. But this time alone helped him think to himself, about himself. 

Sometimes I act like I know, but I'm really just a kid.

He’s just a kid. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. All he’s really doing is causing problems.

With two corks in his eyes, and a bully in his head.

And hurting those around him because of his actions.

I wanna make a colour that no one else has seen before 

He wants to get out and do something with his life. He doesn’t want to be stuck in the gang for the rest of his life. 

I wanna be so much more

He wants to show everyone that he can make something of himself. That he’s not “Little Spooky”. That he’s Cesar Diaz. 

You walked into the classroom and saw Cesar sitting on the floor. You walked over to him and sat with him. You didn’t say anything to him, you just sat there and looked at him with a slight frown. 

You didn’t like this. He looked so exhausted. 

He had dark eye bags under his eyes, and even then they were red and puffy from the crying. He had tear marks on his face and his clothes were disheveled. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, resting his head on your shoulder, as you rubbed his back and lightly scratched his head while you held him.

“It’s ok Cesar.” 

He leaned back and looked at you with teary eyes, wondering what was running in your head as you saw him like this. 

I hope that she looks at me and thinks, "Shit, he is so pretty”

The one thing that was running through his mind at this moment was how you thought of him.

Something I can't believe..

[whereslynx]

[PART 2] Stepping in for Oscar “Spooky” Diaz

pov: mothering a child who isn’t yours isn’t easy, especially if it’s the leader of the santos’ younger brother; you’d know, you’ve been doing it since the end of your high school years. but for oscar — god, for that man, you’d do anything.

PART 1 (LINK)

a/n: thank you for the support guys :) i appreciate it so much !!

☽✶•┈┈┈•◦❥◦•┈┈┈•✶☾

☽✶•┈┈┈•◦❥◦•┈┈┈•✶☾

God, you couldn’t have been any more wrong.

Everything wasn’t okay. Cesar wasn’t safer. In fact, within the short span of Oscar being home, he was jumped into the Santos, rolled up on, ordered to kill a prophet. And now, they beat him to a pulp and basically ejected him from not only the Santos, but from his home after Latrelle was found alive, resulting in the death of Olivia and injury of Ruby. Cesar’s life was falling apart fast and you couldn’t do anything about it.

The first few weeks of Oscar getting released was filled with you smothering him with your love. Your undying loyalty for his— your family was evident within Cesar’s healthy figure. He was beyond proud and grateful that you stuck around for something that you didn’t sign up for, and he made sure you knew that. But when the days went by and more and more unfortunate events preyed on Cesar’s life after he joined the Santos, it all pushed you to distance yourself from Oscar by the hour.

He still remembers the night you found out Cesar was jumped in. The two Diaz boys will never forget how only a shaken gasp just left your lips when you lifted up his shirt. You didn’t shout or cry when you saw Cesar come home with Oscar with a bruised stomach, only biting back a cry and slamming the front door behind you without a word. The silence in the house after you left was overwhelming, pushing Cesar to twist the doorknob with the intent to explain himself to you. “Don’t. I know how she is when she gets like this.” Oscar barked just as about Cesar was going to run after you, “She needs space. Leave her be, vale?” he said, not even turning to face him as he spoke. Almost as if he didn’t want Cesar to see his expression, afraid to show weakness or vulnerability. Cesar sheepishly nodded, “Claro.” he responded with a mumble before leaving quietly to his room. You didn’t return until hours later with a tear stained face, slipping into you and Oscar’s shared bed without a word. You didn’t know if he was awake or not, but you didn’t want to know because the rest of the night was filled with a consuming silence.

The life of being in a gang wasn’t foreign to you. You grew up in Freeridge and around Santos all your life, and your relationship with Oscar that’s been ongoing since high school allowed you to bear witness to the gang life. But seeing the boy you considered your baby live through it brought sorrow to your heart, especially when Oscar had kicked him out of the house. You were torn between the weight of understanding what Oscar had to do because of Cuchillos, and whacking him over the head for kicking your baby boy out.

You weren’t Cesar’s biological mother, but you raised him since he was a child whilst Oscar was locked up. He was your everything, he taught you what it was to be a mother before you even bared your own child. And you hated to admit it because you swore to love Oscar through everything, but an overwhelming sense of anger stirred in you. You were angry that Cesar had to be jumped into the gang, and you were angry at the circumstances that you and Oscar had to deal with.

Your late night thoughts were put on halt when you felt the other side of the bed slightly sink, telling you that Oscar was home. But you didn’t shift in the bed, you didn’t turn around and whisper a quiet hello with a sweet kiss like you always did— No, you stayed under the covers with your back turned on him. He must’ve known you were awake because you felt his eyes on you, the silence sewing tension into the atmosphere. “Damn. Got yo’ back turned on me and everything, ma.” Oscar grunted from the edge of the bed, “What’s up with you?” he asked, a tinge of frustration in his tone. When you didn’t respond, a ‘tsk’ left Oscar’s lips as his gaze fixated on the narrow shaft of the midnight sky that broke through the darkness. Its light slipped through the crack of the curtains, illuminating the dark room with a soft, silver glow.

With a sharp inhale of a ravening fury, you sat up in the bed and turned to Oscar with furrowed brows, “Fuck you mean what’s up with me, Oscar?” you hissed with an expression of anger, “Do you expect me to shower you with affection while the boy I— We, raised is out on the streets?” you shook your head, running a hand down your face.

Oscar would’ve been a terrible boyfriend if he hadn’t recognised that look on your face. That same look on your face, was the same look you had on the day he was arrested. It was a look of sorrow and anxiety masked and disguised with an unshaken wrath.

“You think it’s any easier for me to handle?” Oscar said with a frown, “I’m as fucked up over it as you are, mami.” he growled, his jaw tightening under the intensity before he stood up from the bed and began pacing around the room. You only scoffed a laugh, swinging your legs off the bed as your feet touched the cold wooden floor, “Then why did you jump him in!?” you yelled, the volume of your voice rising without care. Cesar’s absence from home was only a bitter reminder that there was nobody left to hide your guys’ arguments from. “It was to protect him!” Oscar yelled back, his hands balling into fists. “Oh please, Oscar.” A baffled laugh left your lips, “I didn’t know you were protecting him when he came to me, crying his damn ass off because you and your manos, took him to kill a fucking prophet!” you contested, pointing a finger at him from the other side of the bed. Oscar shook his head, “Well, it’s a good thing he didn’t do it.” he grumbled, “That’s what got him kicked out in the first place.”

“Do you know how much it messes with my mental seeing my baby go through that? To have to stand by and watch him get kicked out the house by his own older brother?” You said with a quivering bottom lip, your furrowed brows marking your forehead with creases. Oscar covered his eyes with his hand, pinching the bridge of his nose, “You don’t understand, I had to. Cuchillos—“

“Fuck Cuchillos! She, outta all people should understand this twisted feeling that messes with my head every night.” You snapped, tears swelling your eyes, “Look, you did what you had to do. From a Santo’s perspective, it’s hard to do, but from a mother’s, it’s crushing. I only beg of you to see this situation as Oscar, not Spooky.” you muttered, your anger dissipating into a unresolvable state of grief once tears fell down your face.

The familiar sound of silence fell onto youse heavily, the two of you only staring at each other with broken expressions; a silent way of communicating how youse truly felt, without the burden of carrying it with words.

Oscar broke your mutual gaze, a deep sigh leaving him as he sniffled. Making his way to the other side of the bed, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your tear stained faced against his chest. It was a gesture that you two weren’t strangers to, but you still found yourself tensing up. It’d been so long since you two embraced with the same warmth that youse prided yourselves on. But tonight, the warmth of genuine love indulged itself into the embrace, allowing you to ease into the hug. You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting a soft sob leave your lips. The weight of witnessing Cesar’s life fall apart wasn’t only dragging you down, but on Oscar as well.

“I’m sorry.” Oscar mumbled, his head leaned down to rest on your shoulder, “I have a plan. I’ll bring Cesar back, I promise.” he assured you, softly tightening his grip as a sign of his loyalty to his words. You could only nod silently, melting into his touch. “I love you.” He whispered, planting a soft kiss onto your shoulder. “I love you.” You said softly.

The life you two led was not a life of privilege, but it was undeniable that youse did find privilege in being able to walk through it together. Despite the losses that your journey might meet, with Oscar, you were sure that you would stumble, but not fall.

[daydreamabout]

3:15 (Oscar Diaz Imagine)

Summary: You're in a situationship with Oscar, not sure if you want to be official. Inspired by 3:15 by Russ.

All I ever tried to do was help you understand and grow

Light the way for truths that if not for me simply wouldn't show

'Less you get somebody else who's on my level, but you know

That there's no one on my level, you gon' realize if you don't

I wish you would own up to your flaws

And just say that you're wrong when you're wrong

Instead of actin' like you're right, then it turns into a fight

Now you're stormin' out my house in the middle of the night

“What's on your mind?,” Oscar interrupted your few kisses.

You were currently all over him in your bedroom, as usually. You pecked his soft lips one more time and sighed “I don't think you should do it tomorrow.” you spoke softly.

Your lover's dark eyes looked at you for a few seconds before he frowned “Don't start this shit again.”

The anger about the same situation started to boil within you, so you got off of Oscar and laid on your back.

“What is your problem?” you spat at him.

The sudden tension in the room was obvious. He suddenly sat on the edge of your bed and gave you an intimidating look over his right.

“I don't think we're close enough to have this kind of conversation!”

“Wow.” You didn't know how else to react. He was obviously refering to the fact that you weren't sure how to label your 'thing'. You cared, a lot. But he was part of a gang and you cared too much about other people's opinions too.

“I think you should go home. ”you let out bluntly without thinking.

He turned his head away from you and let out a dry laugh “You know.... I fucking might!” and stormed off.

***

How come when I love somebody, part of me don't wanna stay?

Every time I get too close, I just start pushing them away

I know, I know

Maybe I just wanna leave before they try to leave me first

Maybe I don't wanna need 'em 'til they say they need me first

I know, I know (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Damned if I do, damned if I don't

Drank Tequila, I can't drive home

Hard to play cool, heart belongs to you

I know that if I show that

I keep my walls up, if you want me then you better start to climb

WoMen who love me aren't rare

WoMen who mean it hard to find

Somethin' tells me that I'm right about you

Please, don't prove me wrong

They say love's a song for fools

We're wise enough to sing along 

“Back off!” you raised your voice and pushed the guy to the side. You were frustraded, ended up at someone's houseparty, drank enough Tequila to not drive home by yourself, but not enough to forget about Os. The porch made an exceptable place to sit down for a bit and re-think your previous thoughts. You wanted him. All to yourself. So you took all your courage and dialed his number.

Oscar picked up after a while, but did not say anything. You could just see the seconds of the phonecall on your screen.

“Can you pick me up?” you asked carefully.

You could hear him sigh into the phone. “Where are you?”

***

It took about 20 minutes until you could see the familiar red car pull into the street. You slowly got up and neared yourself the sidewalk.

The car came to stand right in front of you, but before you even had the chance to get in, your lover already got out. He stood right in front of you and looked deep into your eyes.

“You're in my head.” you said while pointing to your temple. The alcohol was definitely kicking.

His eyes softened and you felt like there was a slight smile on his lips.

He took your hand in his and placed a soft kiss on it “Get in the car, Y/N. ”

You continued to stare into his eyes. “I want everyone to know about us. ”

His face seemed to light up a bit. He pulled you in and kissed your forehead before whispering in your ear “Get in babe, we'll talk about it tomorrow.”

But now it's hard to breathe

I'm not in love, it's just a game we do

I tell myself I'm not that into you

But I don't wanna sleep, it's quarter after three

And now it's hard to breathe

I'm not in love, it's just a thing we make

We're skin on skin, I need this spell to break, oh

But I don't wanna go, and I know that you know

You're in my head like

[eunoiaflow3r]

on my block masterlist

One Shots:

not who i am anymore

one to five

husband material

my baby

Cesar Diaz

Series:

Thin Lines and Butterflies (discontinued)

part one - part two - part three

[youare-mysonshine]

toxic || oscar diaz

(gif is not mine. credit to owner♥️)

Summary: reader and Oscar share a daughter together, and their relationship is complicated.

Requested: yes.

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x Reader

Warnings: cussing, cheating, fighting, a lil smut (18+), angst lmao

Word Count: 3.9k

A/N: I am sorry I’m such a weak bitch. Enjoy or whateva lmao major toxic!Oscar YIKES don’t hate me lol another good song that goes with this is killing you by asking alexandria.

—————

Damn right, we take turns being’ grown

I get real accountable when I’m alone

I get real about it al when I’m alone

It’s so crazy missin’ you when I get on

Don Julio made me a fool for you

And now I might hit your phone up with that ra-ra-ra

Missin’ my da-da-da, missin’ that ah-ah-ah

All of this love is toxic

All of this love is toxic

All these kisses and hugs is knock shit

You a damn drug, you’re toxic

You and Oscar had been together, on and off, for a few years now. The two of you had met back in high school, back when he was starting to stray and head more into the gang life. From the moment you two had met, you had caught his eyes and he had caught yours.

Maybe it was his smooth way with words, maybe it was the fact that you knew he was no good and you seemed drawn to that even more, but the two of you started talking and pretty soon, you were dating. People didn’t understand it, especially when he finally gave up on his academics and became fully immersed in being a Santo. Your family did not approve of your relationship whatsoever, they didn’t like it and they let you know. They saw his tattoos, the way he dressed, who he hung around and they didn’t like him.

People warned you to stay away from him, to stay away from the Santos but you didn’t listen. You were in love and when you’re in love, everything else goes out the window.

“Mommy, I miss daddy and tio. When are we gonna live with them again?” Your daughter came bounding into the room looking at you with those big brown eyes that were entirely her daddy’s. She had Oscar’s eyes. His dark curly hair, but she had your smile.

You had gotten pregnant with your daughter during your final year of high school. You were 18 and terrified - you didn’t know a thing about raising a baby, you didn’t even know if Oscar wanted a baby. He was busy raising his brother Cesar, busy moving up the ranks in the Santos, you thought that there was no way he’d want it. Hell, at the time you didn’t even know if you wanted to keep it either.

Telling your family was one of the scariest moments of your life. Your mother was disappointed, your father was livid. Furious. Suddenly you were an example to your siblings of what n o t to do. Telling Oscar, that was just as nerve-racking but he had taken it better than you anticipated. He was just as nervous as you but he told you he wanted you to keep that baby, he wanted to be a father. He wanted to have a family with you. During your pregnancy, he started running with the Santos more, earning money that you’d need to help support the baby, as well as money to keep himself and Cesar afloat.

Nine months later, your beautiful baby girl came into the world kicking and scream with a head full of dark curls like her daddy once had before he shaved it off. You still remembered the moment that Oscar first saw her, the first time he held her, the first time he placed her on his chest. He looked at her with such love in his eyes. A love that couldn’t be replaced or replicated by absolutely anyone. That was when you fell even more in love with him.

But it was also when the trouble had started.

Oscar was an incredible father. He helped you so much with your little girl but it was like your relationship had become strained. With him getting deeper into the gang, your worry increased and you often fought about how one day he’d come home seriously injured, or how he wouldn’t come home at all. He’d tell you he was doing all of that to ensure you, Y/D/N and Cesar had everything you needed.

It was two years later when the cops burst through the front door of the house - you were sitting in the living room with your two year old, and Cesar. The cartoons were on, but the baby wasn’t paying attention, she was too busy laughing at the funny faces her Tio Cesar was making at her. Cops rushed into the house and all you could remember was holding your crying and wailing daughter in your arms, hugging a crying Cesar, as they arrested Oscar.

Eight years. Oscar was sentenced to eight years in prison and you suddenly found yourself raising your daughter alone, raising his brother because there was not a chance in hell that you’d let him fend for himself.

You’d visit Oscar as much as you could - the drives up to Corcoran were pretty long but you always went because you wanted to see him, even if it killed you only being able to see him behind thick glass. Only being able to talk to him through a phone. You’d took your daughter too, and Cesar. But that never made anything easier. It only made things harder because your daughter would constantly look around for her daddy, she’d expect for him to come home. And eventually, he did come home.

Oscar got out after four years for good behavior and you couldn’t have been more excited and nervous. Your daughter was six by now and she was completely attached at the hip to her dad. But the strain on your relationship with Oscar didn’t go away.

It was about a few weeks into him being home and you had seen a message from some girl on his phone talking about how she couldn’t wait to see him again. How she missed him. Naturally you were pissed. It had all led to a big fight between the two of you and you finally broke things off with Oscar. You packed some of your stuff up and you moved into your parent’s home with your daughter. But you hated it because no matter what, you two shared a daughter, and you knew that she knew something wasn’t right. She had just become accustomed to seeing Oscar again everyday, living with him everyday but now you felt like you had snatched that away from her and you felt guilty. And you missed him too. You hated it but you missed him too.

You patted the spot on your bed and your daughter climbed up, laying beside you. You pulled her in to your arms and hugged her close. “I don’t know, baby. I.. I don’t know.” You said, sighing. “Sometimes kids have mommies and daddies that don’t live together anymore. Kinda like me and your dad. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t ever see them again. That doesn’t mean that your daddy doesn’t love you anymore.”

Later that night after you had gotten your daughter to bed, you were laying down, your phone in your hands. The screen was on and it was on Oscar’s contact. Your thumb was hovering just a little above the green phone button. After a few seconds of silent contemplation, you finally called and brought the phone up to your ear. Oscar picked up at around the second or third ring.

“Hey mama.” His deep voice said to you, and you hated the way your heart leaped in your chest, the way those all too familiar butterflies fluttered in your stomach.

“Hey Oscar.” You said softly, turning on your side and looking out the window. The moonlight was the only light. “Your daughter misses you.” You said to him.

“I miss baby girl too.” He said. “I miss you too, Y/N.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. But deep down, you could feel that hope brewing in the pit of your stomach.

“Yeah right. I’m sure you did.” You said, sarcasm dripping in your tone. “What with all the other bitches that you’re talking to.”

“Mamas, I’m not talking to anyone, alright. I fucking miss you and Y/D/N. I’m sorry, okay? I fucked up. I know I did. Pero, come home.” You stayed silent. “Come on, don’t you wanna come home? I miss waking up next to you. I miss kissing you. Te extraño bebecita.”

——

The next day, you had gathered up your clothes and your belongings, making sure you were packed up. You had gotten your daughters stuffed packed as well. After your talk with Oscar the previous night, you had decided to move back into the house with him and Cesar, you had decided to give it another try because you really did want to make it work. Not only for you but for your daughter. You wanted her to have both of her parents.

Once you and your daughter were ready, you hopped into your car with all your stuff and drove the short distance to Oscar’s house. He was sitting out front with some of the homies, including Cesar. Your little girl quickly unbuckled her seat belt, opened the door and jumped out.

“Daddy!” She ran as fast she could straight into his arms and he laughed, wrapping his arms around her. You got out of the car, not quite with as much enthusiasm as your daughter, but the smile on your face could light up an entire room. An entire building.

“Hey pretty girl.” He greeted, kissing the top of her head. The thing you absolutely adored was that your daughter had gotten her father’s dimples. The tall Santo stood up, holding his big girl in his arms. He walked over to you, giving you that lopsided little smile that had you falling for him the moment you met him. “Hey mama.” He said to you. He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you to him. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips and you instinctively kissed back, melting into it. You missed him. You really did.

“Ew, daddy. Cochino!” You and Oscar both pulled away, that grin on his face as he looked at your daughter.

“Who you calling cochino, mocosa?” Your little girl began giggling and laughing uncontrollably as Oscar began tickling her. All you could do was watch with a smile on your face and your heart full of love.

—————

“Okay, I don’t understand what the big fucking deal is, Oscar. So you can talk to other bitches but when some guys looks at me, when some guys says hi to me, that’s a problem?”

You and Oscar had gone to a Santos party, your daughter having stayed at the house with Cesar. The night had started off great. You and Oscar were drinking, laughing, dancing together. It was a fun night. But it had all changed up when one of the Santos, one of the newly jumped in Santos, had spoken to you.

He had greeted you, saying hi to you, and you weren’t a rude person, obviously you weren’t gonna just ignore him. But Oscar had gotten upset and you truly didn’t know why, and all it had done was start yet another fight between the two of you. All it had done was ruin the mood. The two of you were currently in his car, tension thick.

“It’s a problem when they’re fucking flirting with you and you’re entertaining that bullshit. Nena, you can’t tell me that you didn’t know.” You could tell Oscar was frustrated and he was only growing increasingly more frustrated. You felt the same way, your heart rate spiking just from pure anger alone.

“Oscar, he was not flirting with me! Why are you being so fucking stubborn dude! Shit, we can’t even have one good night together because you always come up with some outta pocket shit. I forgave you, I came back to you even after I seen those text messages on your phone from that one bitch. I shouldn’t have even done that. Fuck all of this.” You said, shaking your head.

“Oh so it’s like that? Fuck this? Fuck me?” Oscar asked.

“Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you for trying to start shit.” The impala pulled into the driveway of the house and you waited not a single second before you were climbing out, slamming the passenger door shut with such a force you knew it’d piss Oscar off.

“Chill the fuck out!” Oscar exclaimed. “If you’re so fucking arrepentida about getting back with me, then get the fuck out. Go back with your hating ass parents.”

You heard the front door briefly open, followed by a voice. “Umm.. what’s goin’ on?” You heard Cesar ask, just barely walking through the threshold. You sighed, embarrassed that Cesar had seen and heard.

“Cesar, is she awake?” You asked. The young teen shook his head.

“She just fell asleep.” You nodded and began walking up the steps, away from Oscar.

“I’m gonna pack my shit up and I’m gonna leave. I’m gonna leave her here tonight because I don’t wanna wake her up. I’m gonna go back with my ‘hating ass parents’ and don’t even fucking think about calling me or texting me unless it has something to do with Y/D/N.”

Uh, all the sex on replay

Run it back like a DJ

Surfing’ on your face while you eat that

Tryna make a bad bitch behave, no

I was this way for you

Put the pussy away for you

Thinkin’ I would wait for you

And that damn Don Julio made me a fool for you

And now I might hit your phone up with that ra-ra-ra

Missin’ my da-da-da, missin’ that ah-ah-ah

And all of this love is toxic

All of this love is toxic

All these kisses and hugs is knock shit

You a damn drug, you’re toxic

“Just like that. Oh god, don’t stop Oscar. Don’t stop.” You moaned, fingernails raking down Oscar’s back, slightly digging into his skin. The tattooed Santo jack hammered in and out of you, your body absolutely on fire with nothing but pleasure.

“You like that, mamas? You like the way this dick feels?” Oscar groaned in your ear, looking down at you with those devious eyes, that little smirk on his handsome face. You nodded, your face twisted up in pleasure.

You hadn’t anticipated on ending in the situation that you were in. After you and Oscar had broken up for what seemed like the hundredth time, it had been like that for about a week or so. The only times you two saw each other were for your daughter, when you dropped her off so she could be with him, etc etc.

During one drop off, Oscar had grabbed your hand and told you he wanted to talk to you. He had pulled you inside the and he had apologized, telling you that he missed you, that he wanted you back with him, you and your daughter. You could never say no. Not to Oscar, no matter what.

You were weak when it came to Oscar and he knew it. You knew it too but you chose to ignore the little voice in your head telling you that you didn’t deserve the way he treated you. That you didn’t deserve all this back and forth. Your daughter certainly didn’t deserve it. But Oscar was your first love. You couldn’t let go. You didn’t want to let go. It was either you calling him and giving in, or it was him apologizing to you and you giving in. Oscar was a drug and you were addicted. The relationship was killing you, hurting you, but you didn’t care. All you wanted was that rush that you felt when you were together, that love.

“Y-Yes, yes I love it, don’t stop baby.. fuck fuck fuck..” That tight coil began to unfurl, your body began to lightly shake and you knew that you were about to cum and Oscar knew it too. Licking his thumb, he brought his hand down between your legs where he rubbed at your clit. You cried out, writhing underneath him. Your orgasm hit you like a train and you couldn’t stop the way you gushed around him.

Oscar groaned, feeling your tights walls squeeze him like a vice. But he didn’t falter. He helped you ride out your orgasm until his own finally got to him. His hips faltered, stuttered, until finally he came to a complete stop, emptying every last drop of his cum inside of you before pulling out, laying down beside you on the messy bed.

The both of you were slightly slightly, panting and breathless but you didn’t care. You cuddled up beside him, resting your head on his chest, fingers gently tracing over the tattoo he had of your’s daughter’s name right above his heart. He had gotten it right after she was born, telling you that no matter where he was, she’d always be close. You loved it.

“Let’s have another one.” Oscar spoke up after a few minutes of you two trying to regain your breath, of you tracing that beautiful cursive ink on his chest. You raised your eyes, lifting your head up to look up at him.

“Another what?” You asked.

“Another kid, mami.” He spoke, reaching over the bedside table to grab his red bull, taking a drink from it. You scoffed, an amused smile on your lips.

“You want another baby?” You asked. The topic of having another child with Oscar hadn’t really come up. With the hectic life you both lived, you didn’t think he’d want another one. Yet still, that hope once again began to grow inside of you.

“Yeah, I want another kid. With you. Baby girl was telling me the other day how she wants a sibling. She said she wants a baby sister.” Oscar chuckled. You smiled, biting the bottom of your lip as you pondered the idea.. You did want another baby. You wanted your daughter to have a sibling. Your mind began to wander, thinking about being pregnant again - feeling those little kicks and movements you loved so much. Feeling the way Oscar would rub your belly, talk to your child. You began to think about if you had a son. A little boy who looked just like his daddy.

“Okay.” You answered. Oscar looked down at your, raising a perfectly arched brow as you agreed.

“Yeah? You want another kid?” He asked, a smile growing on his face. You nodded, smiling along with him, looking into his eyes.

“Yeah. I want another kid, with you. I want baby girl to have a sibling too.” You answered. “I just have to stop taking my birth control.. but, yeah. Let’s have another kid.”

Problematic

You know that dick always been problematic

Somehow I’m always caught in your dramatics

All in your acrobatics

You know I want the static

Tell me to throw it backwards, uh

And that damn Don Julio made me a fool for you

And I still hit your phone up with that ra-ra-ra

Missin’ my da-da-da, missin’ that ah-ah-ah

All of this love is toxic

All of this love is toxic

All these kisses and hugs is knock shit

You a damn drug, you’re toxic

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that it isn’t true, Oscar. Please. Tell me.”

Just when you thought that your relationship with Oscar was finally back on the right track, all those hopes went right out the window. You were at your wits end. Your heart couldn’t take anymore. You were done. You were tired.

You and Oscar had been watching a movie, enjoying some time alone together - your daughter had gone to get some ice cream with Monse and Cesar - leaving the two of you alone. The day was going good until Oscar’s phone buzzed with a text message from an unknown number. He had gotten up to go and use the bathroom so he didn’t hear his phone, and you couldn’t stop the curiosity. And you know what they say; curiosity killed the cat.

What you had seen on his phone absolutely shattered you. Absolutely broke your heart a million times over.

Explicit messages, pictures, videos. All of them from that same girl that you had caught him messaging the first time around. But now, there was no doubt in your mind that Oscar had done something with her. You didn’t want to believe it at first. You wanted to believe that he wouldn’t do that, that he wouldn’t disrespect you like that but you had the proof right in front of you. How could you dispute the facts? As soon as Oscar had walked back into the living room and seen you with his phone, that heartbroken expression on your face, he knew. He knew that you knew.

“What do you want me to say, Y/N?”

“I want you to fucking tell me that this isn’t true. That you didn’t cheat on me.” You exclaimed, tears blurring your vision. “Tell me you didn’t, Oscar.” You pleaded, your voice breaking. The tattooed Santo clenched his jaw, looking away from you and you broke down. You dropped his phone down on the table and buried your face in your hands.

“See, the fucked up thing is that I had a feeling. I had a feeling and I ignored it because I didn’t want it to be true.” You spoke through your tears. All those memories, all those years together had gone right out the window. Oscar had thrown everything in the fucking trash. “After all the shit you put me through, I stayed, Oscar. I stayed with you and this is what you do?” You looked up at him, tears falling freely down your cheeks, wetting your skin.

“I fucked up, Y/N. It was just one-“

“No. No, I fucked up. Because I kept coming back to you after you disrespected me time and time again.” You stood up, running a hand through your hair. “I’m the mother of your child, Oscar. And you still disrespected me like that? That’s what I get for giving birth to your daughter? For raising her? For holding shit down while you were locked up? I was there, Oscar! Me!” You yelled, letting out all that anger and sadness you had inside. “I was there for you when you were in prison. I visited you. I took care of your daughter, I took care of Cesar. If I was some other bitch, I could’ve taken her and I could’ve left. Tell me, is that bitch that you’ve been fucking gonna be there for you if you get locked up again? Is she gonna take care of Cesar? Send you money? Drive hours just to see you for like one hour?”

“Baby-“

“Stop. Don’t call me that. Not anymore. I can’t keep doing this with you Oscar. I can’t. I’m done. I don’t want to fight anymore, I don’t want to be hurt anymore. I tried and I tried to make shit work for Y/D/N. For us. But.. we’re not good together anymore. I let myself be treated like shit. Our daughter doesn’t deserve all this back and forth. She doesn’t deserve that. I love you and I know that I always will but I’m tired. I need this to stop. If you want to fuck around with other bitches, fine. But I’m not gonna let you disrespect me anymore. I deserve more than that.”

—————

tagging: @spookysmujer @ugh-jalynn @lovleyajoitee @curly-haired-holland @harringtoncastle @spookysnena @eggshaustedd @babienay @firebenderwolf @honeym-daddi @eufori4a @shestrying2write @clemmingstylins0n @xiomarlyn @lana-loves-stuff

[moonshinaes]

"we're buried in each other's dna, huh?" cesar asks, looking over at monse --- pausing before he speaks again. it's not easy, not for any of them to be part of this; some treasure hunt that landed them almost separated from each other. he knows he isn't good for her, but god; she feels like home to him. she is his home, nothing more and nothing less. he sighs softly, wondering on what she's thinking, how she feels, all of that good stuff. truthfully, he's never been good with his emotions, not since ... oscar wanted him to join the santos. "if you can say that to me, then can you say the same for jamal and ruby?" / @ficklehcart​

[https-dandelion]

i think i'm okay but then i remember the end of the on my block s3 finale and i start crying again

[seriefic]

Loneliness is over - Oscar Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Reader

Summary: (YN) takes care of Cesar and that triggers a series of events

Tags:  a little fluff , a lot of angst 

Warnings: some blood, some violence

A/N:  I don´t know what is this, i was feeling sad so this is what came out, i hope you enjoy(? it, English isn´t my first language,

Part 2 

-Oh shit, you scared me -you said when you saw the figure in your window, you opened it and made the boy enter quickly, before someone saw him.

-I'm sorry for coming this late but I couldn't stay at Ruby's house anymore.

-And where are you going to stay? -You said taking out the dinner you had prepared for the boy, Cesar shrugged and started eating while you were looking at him from across the table, while drinking a tea.

-You will stay here then-before he could answer you had already got up and were closing the door and the windows with a lock-It´s not a question, if you stay on the street they can kill you, nobody will look for you here, not at least in a few days.

-Oscar will be angry when he finds out.

-I don't care, you are a kid, they want to kill you, throwing you into the street has been too much, even for him.

Cesar said nothing and continued eating while you continued with your tea in silence, the boy seemed not to have eaten in days and it was clear that he had not slept either, so you got up and prepared your brother's room, you had not touched anything at all, you just went in to clean, ventilate the room and left, that was the routine, everything had remained the same for years,even the broken part of the door where your brother had kicked years ago... but it was time to change something, you undid the bed and changed the sheets so Cesar could sleep there,  you didn't think about it too much and tried to not to look around you , opened the closet and took out a T-shirt and sports pants for the boy to change.

-You will sleep here-you said giving him the clothes and pushing him into the bathroom-Take a shower before going to sleep.

Cesar rolled his eyes because you were treating him like a child but he thanked you before closing the door.

You went into your own room to put on pajamas, shorts and a tank top, because the last few days it was too hot, your plan was to stay awake a while longer reading, but that plan was ruined when you heard that someone was calling the door.

As soon as you left the room Cesar was also there, hesitating about what to do and looking at you with a worried expression, you went to the door and looked through the peephole.

-Go to your room- you whispered - and don't go out.

The boy obeyed and before the door was banged again he was already inside the room.

-It's 1 AM, I hope you have some good reason to be here-you said crossing your arms under the door in front of Oscar, he ignored you and entered the house, sitting on the sofa.

-Can't I visit a friend?

- Friends visit each other at normal hours

-Yeah but .... have you had a date? -He said looking at the plate on the table.

-No, it's my dinner.

-You hate tomato -he said looking at the plate that clearly had tomato remains- if you have had a date that's fine, you can tell me, I would like to meet your boyfriend, i´m not going to scare him, te lo juro -he said lying on the sofa and watching you pick up the plate to put it on the sink, you stood there leaning for a few minutes and turned to see how a cigarette was lit.

It hurt that the thought of you with another man did not bother him a bit, there was no jealousy, because of course he didn´t see you like that, but you did and with each passing day it was more difficult to continue being just a friend, watching how all the women in the world passed in front of you, you were convinced that even if you were on a desert island with no one else, Oscar would find some other option as long as you continued to be "just a friend"

-Why did you came Oscar? -You said sitting next to him and taking the cigar , for you, while he put his arm around your shoulder.

-The house is empty - you didn't need to hear anything else, you knew how he felt, so you just gave him back the cigarette and hugged him, while he stroked your hair and your arm while he finished smoking, you longed for that so much, you loved Oscar with all your soul and heart, you wanted to be like this with him every day, as a couple, a lover and that was never going to happen.

-I miss Karina- he confessed, taking his hand away from you for a few seconds and then coming back with the caresses, you didn´t move but you tensed, Karina was his ex-girlfriend, the girl was his girlfriend for two years, before he entered Prison, after that she went to New York -Having a partner to get home to, thinking about starting a family, a future, I miss that.

You didn´t know when you had started to cry but your face was soaked and tears did not stop flowing from your eyes, you couldn´ t speak either because you were sure that if you opened your mouth only sobs would come out, although all attempts to hide the crying were in vain , because Oscar touched your face and noticed the tears.

-It´s everything all right?-He asked sitting up straight on the sofa and separating from you, to be able to see your face, you denied and let out the crying, he hugged you and tried to calm you, not knowing that you were crying for him.

-Can you sleep with me tonight? -Oscar nodded and left a kiss on your forehead.

Oscar walked around your room while you got comfortable in bed, looking at all the things that adorned the walls and shelves

-Why do you keep having this? -He said looking at a necklace that he had given you in your quinceañera, it was made of plastic and had a cross and your name next to a small ghost, a ghost that was supposed to represent him.

-It's cute, am I supposed to get rid of my birthday gifts?-You said getting up and taking it off to put it on.

- It is not that, but it is very small, I mean, in your quiceañera they gave you better things, this is childish.

-I look bad? -You said posing with the necklace while sitting on the bed and Oscar smiled, lying on the side facing the window, with his arms under his head -I think I'm going to use it again -you said laying and using his chest as pillow

You´ve slept together like that more than once, but that night you hugged him more than ever and he let you do it.

His loving caresses never stopped, your hair, your arms, your back, your face...and you liked to go over his tattoos,like if you were drawing them, most people considered them vulgar but you thought they had charm, between caresses you both fell asleep without saying a word.

The next morning you woke up alone, hearing screams in the living room and it was at that moment that everything began to fall apart.

-Oscar stop - you yelled, pulling him away from Cesar to stop him from pushing the boy.

-When I told you to leave the Santos, that included people related to us.

-I told him to stay-you shouted at him to attract his attention-he didn´t want to but he had no other option-you tried to reason with the man but he looked at you as if you had committed the greatest betrayal.

-I'm sorry, it's fine, I'll leave and I won't come back here-Cesar looked at you with regret and took the bag with his things.

-You can't keep treating him like that Oscar, if they kill him you won't forgive yourself.

-If Cesar dies it will be his fault, because he did something stupid, like your brother, protecting him served nothing more than to lengthen his death and your mother´s-he spat those words in your face and you had enough, you didn´t answer, you only walked to the door and  opened it.

-Get out of my house please-You said looking down, you didn't want to see the man you were in love saying those things.

-It's the truth, you didn't listen to anyone, you decided to protect him and that killed your family and now you´re using people to not to feel alone and not feel guilt, Cesar is not your brother,stop with the fantasies.

His words stuck like knives in the chest and you didn´t understand why he was being so cruel, Cesar, who was watching you, feeling guilty for the situation, decided to go out, not stay to see the discussion that his presence had caused, but he remained in the front garden waiting to make sure that didn't end badly.

-Go away,- you repeated to Oscar- All the bullshit you have done with the excuse of protecting your brother and you have thrown him into the street at the slightest opportunity, at least I tried.

- (YN) - he screamed your name- You didn't try, you signed your mother's death warrant-Those words were the last thing you heard before you saw it all red, you pushed Oscar out into the street and slapped him across the face and chest.

-Go and never come back, I can't believe I was in love with a bastard like you, don't come near me ever again -your screams could being heard  all over the neighborhood, you couldn't see Oscar's expression well because your eyes were blurred , your body shaked with rage and pain, you felt how he grabbed you by the arms, trying to apologize because he had just realized everything that had just come out of his mouth, but you let go and walked back home. 

Before you could get to the door, you heard a noise, a shot, you weren't sure because your ears were ringing and suddenly you felt a pain in your chest and the voices of Cesar and Oscar were at your side, while you fell to the ground, familiar hands and arms held you, even when you still didn´t see well, you knew it was Oscar, who was holding and caressing you trying to calm you like the night before, of course you would recognize his caresses, even in that situation, in which you just realized that you had been shot.

You laughed, because after all, Oscar was right- You were right-you let out a whisper-you were right after all.

-No, no, no, no,-he repeated over and over again as he held you in his arms, waiting for the ambulance to arrive, "it's okay, breathe and be fine, i wasn't right, it's a lie, nothing I've said is right, you're going to recover and....

-Don't worry-the voice came out faltering-It´s okay if I die, at least the loneliness is over.

Oscar hugged you and you smiled at him, you felt like you were fading more and more and you started to close your eyes- Don´t fucking say that, you have always had me, please, open your eyes and look at me, (YN) (YN) Please, I love you.

He had always been the one to get you out of your loneliness, from the first day of high school, when he appeared running and started screaming to wait for him to get to class together, despite having gone to the same school you had never spoken, but that day changed everything.

At lunch he always ate your tomato because you didn´t like it and you ate his onion , when he had no girlfriend or girl, you went to the dances together, when he started skipping classes to be a full time Santo, you went to his house, without your mother knowing it, to update him on everything while he experimented his culinary recipes, when he started dating Karina, you started dating a boy named Carlos, it was Oscar who comforted you , after your breakup, when your mother and brother died, he stayed with you for a week and when Karina broke up with him on the phone when he entered prison, you went to see him to cheer him up and you sent him all his favorite sweets, when he got out of prison you went to the beach together and you were there all day, enjoying your mutual company and his freedom.

Of course you had always had him and he had always had you, until that moment. The last thing you did was smile at his words and your memories, you caressed his face one last time, it was wet, wet with real tears and suddenly you felt like all the air that was left in your lungs was fading and you could only close your eyes to see it all black, it was over, over in Oscar´s arms.

He pressed your lips leaving a kiss and that was the last thing you could feel.

[islandofimagines-blog]

Damn I whish you were here

Everyone remember thst night clearly , the night were you got shot by latrelle and didnt make it , when Cesar told you he loved you for the first time , now Cesar could only think about how he never got to give you the last kiss and make things official beetween you two , it was killing him inside that he was never going to see you smile again or laugh like he loved so much , how everytime he passed by your house he would saw your parents crying in your room in your bed when the window was open , he missed you more that he ever thought he would and he couldnt handle that pain it was too much for him to bare and the crew knew it like damn even Oscar knew it but Cesar didnt let nobody come close to him or seeing him crying.

Cesar was walking alone to school a routine that seemed normal to him now with his eadphones in his ears and head bow down feeling numb to the pain he was feeling that day , in the end of the street he saw his friends and immediatly the crew ran to him being goofys to make him smile but Ruby looked at him and told all of them to stop and just gave a hug to Cesar tight has he could and walked by his side quiet respecting the state of spirit of his best friend.

¨you know man , you could take some time off from school and have some time for yourself and visit y/n in her grave or talk with her parents, it would be good bor you to have some disclosure about those feelings , I know you loved her and trust me she loved you too but she wont come back and she would like for all of us to stay here and make the best of our lifes and try to be happy, she wouldnt like to see you like that Cesar ,I dont like to see you like that , neither of us does.” Ruby spoke softly and with a lot of pain his voice trying to contain the tears that started to form in his eyes , he looked at his friend in a glance and saw Cesar face , he was not the same anymore and Ruby knew that his friend blamed himself for the death of the girl he loved since he didnt kill Latrelle like his brother order him to do and on top of that he was kicked out of the Santos , so Cesar didnt have much to look forward to.

“ stop ok man!” Cesar stopped on his tracks and looked at all of his friends with now an angry look on his face. “ stop making me feel like I am the victim when you know i fucked everything up! If i was man enough to kill Latrelle y/n would still be alive , i could walk with her today hand in hand and smiling with her , we could do all that we planned , we could be a whole crew again , so stop making me feel like I didnt have any fault in this because I do! I was the one who sentenced her to her death and everybody knows ,  she was my girl so what the hell was I expecting ?! you guys have no idea what it is to go to sleep and the only thing i have from her is voice mails , pictures , memories , I cant even look at her parents because I know that they hate me for what I am or was , you guys have no idea of what it is to feel empty again , damn Ruby you got shot and look at you , you are not the same anymore so I even messed up my best friend head with my issues . I just ... damn i wish you were y/n.. I miss her so much man, she was my soulmate i knew it , she could handle my life both side of it , she always had something positive to say about whatever it was , even Oscar took a like on her and now I am in the street living because not even my brother wants me to live in his house anymore , Ruby I want her back so bad man , I cant live like this , i cant it hurts to much..” 

Cesar broke down in tears infront of his friends for the first time and all of them came to give a big hug letting him cry all his pain and anger knowing for how long he was holding on those emotions inside. Monse back it up a little and wiped her tears fast before going to her backpack and take the letter that y/n wrote for Cesar confession her love for him and with that she made a video to suprise Cesar on his birthday . 

“hey i think its time for you to see this, she made this video so everytime you wanted her close to you no matter where you two were she was always going to be by your side and this letter is for you to see for yourself what she feels, it doesnt matter if she is not here physically , she is here in our hearts and arounds us , she was part of us and always will be and has long we have these little things to hold on to her she will never leave us or be gone forever.¨ 

Monse gave Cesar a small smile and played the video on her phone showing all of them laughing and playing around , Cesar couldnt hold the little smile forming on his lips even though his heart was tight and tears were streaming slowly down his face. Y/n was now on the room with Monse and she didnt knew that she was being recorded when she was talking about Cesar and he smirked at her blushing when mentioning him.

“oh god Monse he is so sweet and so cute, I mean that boy is more than cute but i dont want to ruin our friendship with confessing my feelings , I fell in love with him for his smile , for his eyes the way they sparkle when he is laughing , oh god that laugh makes me feel like a little girl on christmas time , Oscar knows I love him and he laughed even though he said we would make a cute couple but what can i do? i dont want things to go awkward beetween the group. Everytime that I am with him time stops and i dont want ever to leave, if I could i would sleep in his arms for the rest of my life because to be honest i have never felt so safe with someone like i feel with him, even though he has the life he has in the gang I dont care, everyone has a past and has some kind of legacy to make or continue and I believe he just wants to fit in with his brother , I love him so much Monse and if you knew how my heart beats when I see him you would think this is from a movie or something , I am sorry im just rambling and being annoying , sorry Monse”

Cesar broke down once again and hold the letter to his lips kissing it tears never stop flowing and everyone was crying at the same time , they all loved her for her kindness, she was the neutral one of the group , always ready to help everyone without wanting nothing in return but seeing the others happy and that is what Cesar loved the most about her , he looked at Monse and nodded to her in a way to say thank you and she looked at him the same way crying , Jamal sniffed and looked behind to see Oscar in his yard looking at his little brother with this heart broken , Oscar started to walk over and Jamal gave a small scream hidhing behind Ruby like he was his savior . 

“ We need to talk lil’ spooky” Oscar tried to keep his posture and cesar looked at him with his eyes red and puffy from crying and Oscar couldnt see his brother like that , he broke his posture and gave a hug to his brother making him know he was there to support him.

“ Im so sorry for what happened to you but I can promise you something , we are going to fix this and give you and y/n the peace you guys deserve. She was a nice girl actually i liked her , she had this aura about her that made her easy to talk to , so if you still want we are going to end with the prophets for good and honor her memory hermanito. Por ti y por tu amor que tienes a ella , sabis bien lo que tienes que hacer por iso para de llorar , Im here for you , you didnt lost everything.¨ 

Oscar whispered in his brother ear and like that Cesar still had some hope for him, he didnt lose everyone he loved and damn right he was going to finish with the prophets , he was going to make them pay for what they did to his princess and no matter what from now on Cesar was going to make whatever it takes to rebuilt her honor and memory so it can prevale forever like he wanted.

(if you want to get tagged on the next imagines and future fanfic let me know ,hope you enjoy this first imagine , love you )

[whereslynx]

[PART 1] What we leave behind.

pov: You were Oscar’s ride or die, raising Cesar and holding everything together while he faced the chaos of Freeridge. But when he leaves the Santos—and you—behind, the life you built together unravels, forcing you to find a new path while the past refuses to let go.

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4)

a/n: this beautiful request comes from my good friend @cheesesandwichsanto ! thank u very much :) pt 2 out now!

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The evening was unusually quiet, save for the faint rustling coming from the bedroom. You’d just returned home from running errands, the smell of takeout wafting from the bags in your hands as you walked through the door. Normally, this was the time when you and Oscar would sit together, sharing a meal and talking about your day, Cesar chiming in between bites with updates about school or the latest drama in the neighborhood.

But today, something was off.

The stillness in the air carried a weight you couldn’t ignore, a heaviness that settled in your chest as you made your way down the hall. The faint noise grew louder as you approached the bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. Pushing it open, you froze at the sight before you.

Oscar was crouched by the bed, a duffel bag open on the floor beside him as he carefully packed his clothes. His broad shoulders were hunched, his movements deliberate but tense. For a moment, you just stood there, watching him. The man who had been your rock, your partner, your everything since high school, was now packing up his life without a word.

“Oscar,” you said finally, your voice low but firm.

He didn’t look up immediately, his hands pausing only briefly before continuing to fold a shirt. When he did turn to face you, the look in his eyes was one you hadn’t seen before—guilt, mixed with a sadness that twisted your heart.

“You’re home early,” he said, his tone calm, like he hadn’t been caught in the middle of something that would shatter your world.

You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe as you studied him. “Clearly not early enough,” you replied, nodding toward the bag. “What’s this?”

Oscar sighed, dragging a hand over his face as he stood. He didn’t answer immediately, instead stepping closer to you. But the weight of his silence said everything.

“Where are you going?” you pressed, your voice steadier than you felt.

He paused, his back to you for a moment before he turned. His expression was calm, but his eyes betrayed him. There was something there—guilt, maybe, or regret. “Bakersfield,” he said simply, like it explained everything.

“For how long?”

Oscar looked away, his jaw tightening. “I don’t know.”

The weight of his words hit you like a punch to the gut. You had stood by him through everything: his time in prison, the gang wars, and even the years of raising Cesar together after his mom died and their dad disappeared. You had been his anchor, his ride-or-die, his everything. And now, without so much as a proper conversation, he was packing up and leaving?

The air seemed to leave the room all at once, the heaviness in your chest growing until it was almost suffocating. “You don’t know,” you repeated, your voice tinged with disbelief. “So what? You’re just leaving? Cesar, me, everything we’ve built—you’re walking away from it all?”

“I don’t have a choice,” he said, his voice low but firm.

“That’s bullshit, Oscar,” you shot back, stepping closer to him. “You always have a choice.”

His gaze snapped back to you, frustration flickering in his dark eyes. “You think I want to do this? You think this is easy for me?” he asked, his voice rising slightly. “I got jumped out, and you know what that means. I can’t stay here. Not without putting a target on my back—and yours.”

You shook your head, your emotions threatening to spill over. “So your solution is to run? To leave us behind and hope for the best?”

“It’s not running,” he said, his tone softening as he stepped closer, his hands reaching for yours. “It’s protecting you. Protecting Cesar.”

You pulled your hands away, the sting of his words too much to bear. “We’re supposed to protect each other,” you said, your voice breaking despite your best efforts to stay strong. “That’s what we do, Oscar. We’re a team. Ride or die, remember?”

For a moment, he didn’t say anything, his gaze dropping to the floor. When he finally looked up, there was something in his eyes—regret, maybe, or resignation. “I know,” he said quietly. “And that’s why I have to do this. If I stay, it’s only a matter of time before something happens. I can’t risk that. I won’t.”

The finality in his tone was like a dagger to your heart. You took a step back, your arms crossing protectively over your chest as you fought to keep the tears at bay.

“What about Cesar?” You asked with a hush, but frantic voice, “You’re just gonna leave him here?”

Oscar ran a hand down his face, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. “I already told him,” He mumbled, “That kid is too far with the Santos, he doesn’t wanna leave.”

You scoffed, your tears escaping your eyes despite the unwillingness of your own heart, “And who do you think brought him into that?” you retorted with a scowl, “Cause I know damn well I didn’t.” Venom laced your tone, but you only withdrew your anger even more.

Oscar exhaled shakily, clearly unsure on what to say by the way his shoulders slumped at your comment.

“Fine,” you said after a long pause, your voice cold. “Go. But we’ll be here, right where you left us. Don’t forget that.”

Oscar flinched at your words, his jaw tightening as he picked up his duffel bag. For a moment, he hesitated, his eyes lingering on you like he wanted to say something more. But then he turned and walked past you, pausing only briefly in the doorway.

With his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, he hesitated. His hand hovered over the doorknob of your guys’ shared bedroom, his broad shoulders rising and falling with a deep, unsteady breath. You stood rooted in place, arms crossed tightly against your chest, trying to mask the ache building inside you.

But he turned back.

His eyes met yours, and for a fleeting moment, the tension between you melted away, leaving behind only the weight of what was about to happen. Slowly, he set the duffel bag down and stepped closer.

“Oscar, don’t—” you started, but the words faltered as he reached for you, pulling you into him.

The warmth of his arms wrapped around you, strong and familiar, and for a moment, all the anger, frustration, and heartbreak faded into the background. He pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, then leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss that was both tender and desperate, as though he was trying to convey everything he couldn’t put into words.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his hands still holding your waist as though he couldn’t bear to let go just yet. You didn’t speak, and neither did he. The silence was heavy but meaningful, filled with unspoken apologies and lingering affection.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Oscar stepped back, his hands falling to his sides. His eyes lingered on yours, dark and conflicted, before he turned and picked up his bag.

“Take care of Cesar,” he said softly.

Without another word, he walked out the door, leaving you standing there. The warmth of his embrace still clung to you, but it wasn’t enough to chase away the cold reality of his absence.

The sound of the front door closing echoed through the house, leaving behind a silence that felt heavier than ever. You stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at the empty doorway, trying to process what had just happened.

Oscar was gone.

When you finally moved, it was like your body was on autopilot. You made your way to the living room, finding Cesar sitting on the couch, his expression grim as he stared at the TV without really watching it, dissociation lingering in his distant gaze.

He looked up when he heard you, his eyes searching yours for answers.

“Is he gone?” he asked quietly.

You nodded, your throat too tight to speak.

Cesar’s shoulders slumped, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Why does he always leave?” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your heart broke for him, the pain in his voice cutting deeper than anything Oscar had said. You sat down beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he leaned into you.

“I don’t know, mijo,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “But we’ll be okay. We always are.”

Cesar didn’t respond, but the way he clung to you said enough.

As the night wore on, the house grew quieter, the weight of Oscar’s absence settling over everything. You lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, your mind racing with a million thoughts. Anger, sadness, frustration—they all swirled inside you, leaving you exhausted but unable to sleep.

For years, you had been Oscar’s anchor, his ride-or-die, the one person he could always count on. You had stood by him through everything, never once doubting that he would do the same for you.

But now, for the first time, you wondered if you had been wrong.

(part 2 link)

[eunoiaflow3r]

Husband Material

A/N: nothing

Warnings: fluff haha, there will be mistakes..uhmm kinda short. fem!reader.

Request: Hello gorgeous! I love your writing you truly make me feel like I’m in the moment with them! I’ve always wanted to read one of those things for Oscar about what he’d be like as a boyfriend or as a husband. @officiallyaunicorn​

~~~~

Boyfriend Oscar:

he’s intimidating when you first meet him

when you two do start talking, you pretty much just know he’s a no nonsense type of guy.

with that being said, when you first met him you thought he was kind of rude at times, and you didn’t really like him much.

when you saw the way he was when he was around his brother though, that began to change your mind.

when you first started dating, although sweet at times, he was a little closed off, and that annoyed you.

as time passed though, you gently got him to break his shell and let you in.

you learned alot about who he really was, and you couldn’t have been more happy to get to know the real him.

not spooky him.

Now let’s get to the fun part..

Alone with you, he is just straight up goofy

I’m talking pillow fights, food fights...

wait

let’s talk food fights for a second...

he’s cooking for you..right?

and he won’t let you in the kitchen.

the smell of the food has made you so so hungry, and all you wanted was to just taste something.

But no, he would not let you.

Eventually, though, you had snuck a few appetizers, and he’s laugh at you and litter you face with gentle kisses before telling you to get out of the kitchen before things got out of hand.

Before you left though, you made sure to throw a little flour on him just to get a reaction.

He looked angry, but that quickly changed when he through a handful of flour at you.

By the end of the night, flour had covered the both of you, he accidentally burned the chicken, and you ended up ordering pizza.

The two of you liked watching tv shows together.

Mostly funny ones, but most of the time you could never get through them without Oscar messing with you in some way, shape, or form.

Pulling strands of your hair, pinching your sides, tickling your stomach, kissing your neck....

He loved to mess with you.

The gang liked you.

Some of them a little too much.

All Oscar had to do was give them that look, and they never even dared to look at you again.

The kids noticed a shift in “Spooky”

When Cesar told them that he was dating you, they were a bit standoff -ish.

They were glad that you brought out the good in him, but...why would anyone like him?

And Oscar thought about that sometimes.

Why would anyone want to be with a gang member?

And that was when you told him you loved him.

He tried to push you away, tried to tell you that he wasn’t safe and that -

you weren’t having it.

you promised him that you weren’t just going to walk away and that you were always gonna be with him every step of the way.

“I love you, Oscar, and I always will.”

He didn’t know what to do but kiss you, and say it back.

There was this one time -

Prophets pulled put a gun and he swore on that day he would do everything in his power to protect you and leave the gang life.

He swore on that day he was done with that life because he loved you too much to watch you get hurt.

Husband Oscar

Took some time, but he eventually left the gang.

Once he did that, he moved into a new house, and convinced you to move in with him.

You did, and everything seemed almost..normal.

Oscar started cooking full time on the rich side of town, and was bringing in legal money.

Living this way with him felt good.

Some time passed and everyday he realized he loved the way he was living, and he loved waking up to you every morning.

With that being said, he knew what he had to do.

He proposed, and of course you said yes.

That was the happiest day of your life -

no

the happiest day was when you actually married him.

Now you knew that you couldn’t be happier. 

Husband Oscar doesn’t hold back.

Gang oscar was so much different than domestic oscar.

Who knew that you two would be arguing over something as little as who would fold the clothes, or take out the trash?

anyway

dance parties

in the living room

all the time

i’m talking all the time

and when you find out your pregnant?

He’s ecstatic

I mean literally over the moon.

He’ll never leave your side, and he’ll make sure you get anything and everything you need anywhere you need it

honestly, husband oscar is such a sweetheart

[emiwasabi]

It's Complicated: Chapter 1

If you’re interested in being on my tag list, please let me know!

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Synopsis: Oscar Diaz’s long lost love returns after five long years. Laney has lived her life the best she could; graduated Freeridge High, went to college across the country, and got a job as a teacher. A funeral, a career, and the rekindling of an old flame turns the lives of her and the Diaz boy’s upside down. Question is, for better or worse? 

It was a dreary day, with gray clouds and a cold chill spreading across the cemetery. Perfect day for a funeral, I thought solemnly. 10 or so rows of white plastic chairs sat in a neat formation in front of the mahogany casket. I couldn’t recall all the faces of the attendees from my years away from Freeridge. As my eyes roamed across the sea of faces, they stayed trained on the group of Santos occupying the final rows. Antonio, my ex’s best friend, gave me a solemn nod when he caught me staring. 

Geny, Al, Lana, the twins, and I sat in the front of the crowd to view the casket. Keeping the sobs to a minimal volume was hard. Harder than expected. Maybe it was my lack of funeral experience, seeing as how the only funeral I hazily remember was my grandma when I was six. Or maybe it was the blown up picture of a carefree Paco, a time when he was actually a kid. Young and happy and so full of life. 

My eyes occasionally wandered to the dark brown casket while the Priest droned on and on about the meaning of life, or more accurately, the meaning of death. Silent tears left a hot trail down my face. My long fingers clenched around the funeral service pamphlet like it was a life preserver, like if I read those meaningless words on a loop, it would take me away from this reality for a little while. Geny was sobbing into a napkin and Al looked on stoically. The dude hasn’t changed that much in the four years I’ve been gone. Hell, Freeridge hasn’t changed that much either. The graffiti walls, gang violence, and police presence were familiar, and oddly a little bit comforting. 

“The family can now come up and pay their respects.” Everyone looked at the Ramirez’s with pity and sadness. It was a quick walk to the casket but I could feel the eyes of everyone burning holes in my back. Al went first, throwing some dirt and quickly wiping away a trailing tear. He didn’t lag in front of the coffin. Geny sobbed into her hand and gently caressed the picture of a 13 year old Paco, smiling freely and content. At 12, Lana was stoic, maybe too stoic, but held it together for Leti and Jesus. The twins gripped onto her waist and sobbed loudly; tears rushing down their little faces.  

I stood at the casket for what I think was an appropriate amount of time, trying to push down the racking sobs that were threatening to pour out. “Rest in peace.” I mumbled at the picture before throwing the pinch of earth and shuffling away towards the family. We all stood around for a while, accepting condolences and hugs for the loss. 

Once that was over, we all shuffled to the old hatchback and drove back to the house silently. Everyone lost in their own thoughts. The twins went to their room to change, while Lana stayed in the kitchen, helping put food away and grieving with extended family members that seemed to never end. Everyone said something about how great of a kid Paco was and how he was gonna make it out of the town and get a scholarship to play football somewhere fancy. I didn’t mention how much he actually hated football no matter how good he turned out to be. It didn’t seem like anyone could mentally handle that bomb dropped right now. There was no mention of the fact that he was a gang member, a much harder one than before I left, and how he was gunned down on a corner by rivals. And in a matter of seconds, he was just another statistic in East LA.

When everything was said and done and all the relatives and friends of relatives had left, Geny, Al, and I sat at the dining room table and made our way through a bottle of red wine. The house was dark and quiet since the kids were in bed. “Thank you so much for coming back, Laney.  We really missed you.” Geny said, taking her hair out of the tight bun and letting the dark brown curls fall over her thin shoulders. She stretched her back out and closed her eyes relishing in the calmness of the night. 

Al nodded along, taking a large gulp of wine. “Paco would have loved that you were here.” His voice was getting choked up and now I was the familiar burn in the back of my throat. More wine wasn’t gonna help it to go away but I could still dream. 

“I wouldn’t have missed this for anything. I just wish we would have talked more.” I looked down and stared at the scratches on the worn living room table, black painted fingernails tracing them lightly. “Once I went to college we lost touch and I kept saying that I would reach out but there was never the time. It’s stupid now.” I sniffled and rubbed my arms across my face, not caring about the makeup I so painstakingly put on today. 

Geny put her hand on my arm and smiled softly, “He knew you loved him, no matter what.” 

“God, I can’t believe I kicked him out.” Al suddenly said, voice thick with emotion and face scrunched up in pain and regret. “My own son!” He continued “How does someone do that to their own child? I couldn’t get past my anger about him joining the Santos and I pushed him closer to them. And then he…” Al didn’t finish the sentence, just put his head on his hands and sobbed. 

Genny rubbed her hand on his back lovingly and muttered things like, “It wasn’t your fault.” and “We both made that decision. We couldn’t have done anything.” Silence fell again and Genny stumbled towards the kitchen to grab another bottle of wine. She filled up my empty glass and looked at me, brown eyes hopeful. “So, did you find out about the job?” 

I took a sip from my super full glass, letting the tipsy feeling bring me back from the sadness. “I got it. The school called this morning.” 

Al smiled and patted my hand. “You’re gonna take it, right?” The excitement threw me off. I felt a genuine smile stretch across my face for the first time in a while. 

“I did. Officially accepted before the funeral. You’re looking at Freeridge High’s newest 12th Grade history teacher.” I said excitedly with raised arms up and some spirit fingers. Geny jumped in excitement and wrapped me in another hug, practically pulling me from the chair. Al chuckled lightly and winked at me in congratulations. “Which brings me to my question. Any chance I can stay here until I find an affordable apartment?” I played with my fingers and looked between Geny and Al. When they didn’t say anything, regret started bubbling up in my stomach. “But it’s completely okay if you can’t. I mean with Paco and everything…” 

Al said ‘of course’ at the same time that Geny belted out an excited scream of “Oh my god! That would be great! When were you thinking of moving in?” She seemed to remember the kids and sheepishly glanced towards the blackened hall. 

After waiting for any sounds of a creaking door or footsteps, and hearing none, I bit my lip and looked at both of them with a blush creeping up my cheeks. “I actually moved my stuff out already. It’s in a storage unit a couple of blocks over. I’ve been at the hotel for a couple of days.” 

“You’ve been here this whole time?” They both asked. I shrugged again. “So you knew you were gonna get the job?” She asked with a hint of amusement. 

I shrugged. “Maybe. I guess I was really hoping.” My eyebrow scrunched together in thought. “I really missed it here and I thought that after a couple years in PA, I would just adjust and get over it. But that didn’t happen. Believe it or not, I missed Freeridge and... you guys.” Both of them gave me watery smiles and Geny engulfed me and Al in a sudden group hug, nearly falling off her chair in the process.  

“God, I missed you too.” She mumbled against my hair. She pulled back and wiped both her hands across her cheeks, also smearing her mascara and eyeliner. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Al take the gasses to the sink and cork the remaining wine. Making sure to avoid Geny’s notice. “We haven’t gotten a chance to clear out Paco’s room.” Her breath hitched at the thought. 

“I can sleep on the couch. It’s no problem. Really.” 

“Okay, but only until we get that room properly...cleaned out” Geny’s voice went a little hollow for a second. “Tomorrow, I can look after the restaurant while you and Al go to the storage unit. We might have to stick your stuff in the garage for now.” 

Al was making his way down but pivoted at the mention of his name? “I’m gonna do what?” Geny didn’t have to say anything, just gave him ‘the look’ and Al begrudgingly accepted before they both made their way to bed. 

“Alright. Well, goodnight mija. dulces sueños” She mumbled on her way down the hall. 

[kaashallmighty]

Whatever I Have Left

Oscar “Spooky” Diaz x Male Reader

WARNING: bit of mary jane magic💨

You n Oscar talking😭✋🏿...

I couldn’t decide if I wanted some fluff/angst shit or a really fru fru shnookums type beat but ig we’ll see

I forgot to mention that most if not all my writing gonna be with a black/poc coded reader in mind because I’m just that nigga🤞🏿. But honestly i don’t give a fuck who reads as long as u not being a fucking buffoon abt it. . . . PEACE🫂

The sun is just starting to set when you arrive on the beach shore. The waves crashing against the sand and the call of seabirds fill your ears as you start your search for Oscar. It had been a few days since kicking his little brother out to the streets and of course he wasn’t doing well at all. You went to his house to check up on him as you had been doing but there was no sign of him. That brings you to the beach. This is where the oldest Díaz brother is found when things get overwhelmingly complicated, his safe space. The first thing you ever learned about Oscar is that he finds security at the beach. You spot his car before you see him further down perched against the rocks.

You know Oscar hears you walk up but he decides against looking at you, focused on the ocean breeze against his skin. Plopping down beside him you pull a lighter from your pocket and the blunt behind your ear. Lighting up you stayed silent, knowing better than to try and push Oscar into talking.

“It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t have to rob my own blood of a bed to sleep in.” You know he isn’t wanting a response but you turn your head towards him to show you are listening. His brows furrowed and mouth formed into a scowl as he continued.

“Cesar isn’t made for this typa life, yet because of me he’s headed in the wrong direction. We should be somewhere living a normal life where all he has to be worried about is school and teenage hormones. We look over our backs when our biggest concern should be work or our own familia running arou-”

He stops dead in his tracks. He expects you to scrutinize him like he’s betting all his worth on the most unfeasible outcome of his future. Expects you to snap him into the reality of what’s bound to happen due to the lifestyles y’all lead. Background noise fades out and plunges him into hypotheticals jumbling around in his head.

The heat radiating onto his fingers pinching the still burning blunt shakes him out of his head. With a clear of his throat and a quick glance in your general direction, he takes a slow drag of the content and hands it off to you. “Oscar, you aren’t stupid for wanting better than the gang. Aspirations make us human

“The Santos will still be the Santos long after you are gone and when the time comes that you decide step down, we’ll pick Cesar up by his mangy scruff n move to fucking Miami.” You cackle and the dopiest smile makes its way onto Oscar’s face as he watches you ramble about him not having to leave the ocean behind.

“On some real shit tho, I wanna spend whatever I have left with yo ass.” Your words come out low and raspy, but hold a hardness that would guarantee Oscar knows you aren’t spouting drug induced whims. You ash the roach in the sand and look up. Red hazy eyes meet the mocha pools finally staring back at you.

Reaching a hand out to his nape, you pull him forward, resting your foreheads together. Your fingers find purchase running along the tattoo adorning Oscar’s neck. His shoulders noticeably relax, relieved of the tension he felt. ‘Whatever you have left’ could range from a few hours to a hefty number of years. Letting your words hang over in the air, he leans further into your touch. He relishes the fact that he has another reason to want to abandon Santos life.

[youare-mysonshine]

who knew || oscar diaz

Summary: Prophets do a drive by shooting at Oscar’s house and reader is caught in the crossfire.

Requested: Yes!

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x Martinez!Reader

Warnings: Gun violence, blood, character death, graphic depictions of death and blood. Angst, angst, angst lmaoooo

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: so, this was sitting in my request list and I just couldn’t not write it. I’m sorry for the hurt I’m going to cause don’t hate me lmao. Also, there is mentions of blood and death. Heavy mentions of that. So if this is something that triggers you, please don’t read or proceed with caution. I hate myself lol

——-

“Here, papas.”

You walked over to your boyfriend, handing him a cold can of beer before assuming your position on his lap.

It was a nice Saturday evening and you were spending it with your boyfriend at his house - the house was full of nothing but Santos, their girlfriends or people who just hung around the gang. Some music was playing, some people were dancing, some were just chilling and talking. It wasn’t a party, but it definitely felt like it.

“Gracias, mamita.” Oscar took the can of beer from you and opened it, taking a considerable drink before resting his hand on your thigh, keeping you close to him.

You and Oscar had been dating for a good while - you had grown up knowing each other because of your siblings - your younger brother, Ruby, was his younger brother, Cesar’s best friend. And He also knew your other younger brother, Mario. The two of you had begun to date a little before he went to prison and stayed together during and after. You’d been there for him through a lot, you stuck by his side through a lot and Oscar knew that he’d found the true definition of ride or die.

You never turned your back on him, never. Not even when your family tried to get you to leave him - he understood it. When he got locked up, when he was sent to prison, your parents wanted you to have nothing to do with him. He wasn’t mad because he knew that he couldn’t give you the life you wanted or deserved. But you defied your family, you stuck by his side and you didn’t regret it. His family was still skeptical, iffy about the relationship, but they had learned to accept him.

Ruby wasn’t as scared of him as he used to be because he saw you two together - he saw a different side of Oscar when he was with you. And he and Cesar were low-key happy at the possibility of becoming actual family in the event that you two marry, which you were definitely going to because neither of you could see you spending the rest of your lives without one another. And Mario, well Mario had always been a good friend to him and he was just happy that his sister was happy.

Cesar loved you from the get go - he had known you because of Ruby, but then you started coming around more anymore when you and Oscar started going around. Even when he was in prison, you took care of Cesar. You made sure he was clothed, fed, made sure he got to school, made sure he had money. You took care of him like he was your own and that made him feel safe with you. You and Oscar were truly the only parental figures he’d ever known.

As the night progressed, everything was going great, it was fun. You were laughing, smiling, having a great time. Oscar was deep in conversation with his homies, though his hand would squeeze your thigh on occasion though, and it’d have you squirming or gently nudging him because of how ticklish you were. It never failed to bring a smile to your lips.

“Shut the fuck up, liar. I don’t snore.” One of the Santos’ girlfriends said, pushing her boyfriend, glaring at him, though you could make out a smile pulling at her lips. You and Oscar both laughed, your head falling on his shoulder.

“Aye, you know who else snores? This one right here.” Oscar pointed at you and you looked at him with your mouth wide open, though your were still lightly laughing. Your eyes were sparkling, and Oscar loved it. H’d never get tired of your eyes, or your smile. Your laugh.

“What? Callate, mentiroso! I do not snore. It’s your ass that snores in my ear all night.” You said, nudging him with your elbow. Oscar’s smirk softened into a smile and he nodded. The way he looked at you never failed to make your heart flutter. It never failed to give you butterflies. It was like the very first time each and every time.

“I know, I’m just fuckin’ with you mamas.” He reached a hand up, cupping your cheek. He pulled your face down to his and pressed your lips together in a soft kiss. Oscar would also never tire of your lips. How soft they were. How they moved against his so perfectly, so in sync. How they fit perfectly with his own like they were his missing puzzle piece.

The Santos that were near the loved up couple began hollering, cat calling and whistling.

“Aye, get it Spooky!”

“We gettin’ a baby Spooky sometime soon or what?”

“Look at this foo, all in love and shit!”

You both pulled away, a blush starting to creep up your neck, your cheeks and all the way to your ears.

“Yeah. In love. And what?” Oscar countered at his homies, a little smirk on his face. He never shy about how he felt about you. He let it be known that he loved you. That he was yours and that you were his. How could he not show you off? He wanted everybody to know he had the best girl. He didn’t think of it as him being weak - he was more of a man for being able to show that side of him, for not hiding it to seem cool in front of his homies. And that was what you loved about him. He never switched up on you.

Shaking your head, a smile on your slightly moist lips, you moved off his lap. “I’m gonna get some chips from inside.” You said. “You want anything?” You asked your Santo, then turned to look at the group of Santos you were sitting with, asking them the same. A few of them asked for chips as well, so with that, you turned on your heel and began to walk over to the porch steps that led up to the front door.

It all happened so fast.

You all heard the sound of tires screeching as a car rounded the corner. You turned around and saw a green car rolling up. No one had any time to react, no one even knew what the fuck was happening until it was too late.

“Prophets bitch! Fuck Los Santos!”

The sound of bullets hit your ears. It sounded like fireworks but they just kept coming and coming, never stopping for a second. People started screaming, running for cover, bodies hit the floor.

As soon as Oscar heard the bullets begin spraying his house, as soon as he saw that neon green car, his immediate thought wasn’t to get down for cover. It was to find you. To find you and make sure you were safe. Some of the homies he was talking too had hit the ground, blood beginning to pool on the ground below them. Some of them were shielding their girlfriends or each other for the bullets. Some of them had pulled out their own weapons and began firing back at the Prophets.

“Y/N!” He yelled out, voice deep and panicking, in the midst of the chaos. “Y/N..!”

And then he saw you. Laying on the concrete ground with a deep scarlet beginning to pool around you.

You didn’t know how to react. You didn’t even have time to react before your felt this burning pain in your upper shoulder and your chest area. And then you were falling to the ground fast first. You could feel a warm, sticky liquid beginning to wet your skin and you barely registered it as your blood. You were bleeding. You were shot.

“No. No no no.. Y/N..” Oscar rushed over to you, aware that the sound of gun fire had ceased and all that was left in it’s wake was frantic screaming and crying. All that was left in it’s wake was absolute chaos and destruction. And you’d been caught in the middle of it.

Oscar turned your body around to you were on your back and it was like his entire soul just left his body. He could feel the color draining from his face, the panicking really beginning to set in when he saw the gunshot wounds on your body. Your body, your clothes were stained red, only growing wetter by the second. Your eyes were open and you were struggling to breath.

“Y/N, baby. You keep your eyes on me. You keep your eyes on me, okay? Don’t stop looking at me.” Oscar instructed you, not bothering to conceal the panic in his voice. His shaky hands pressed down on your wounds, trying to stop the bleeding but it just wouldn’t stop. It just kept gushing out and it was staining his hands.

“S-Shit! Shit! No no, baby.. Call a fucking ambulance!” He yelled out to whoever was listening.

It hurt. It hurt and you felt like you couldn’t breath. Like you were underwater and you were drowning. The pain had started off dull. This dull burn that began to grow hotter and hotter. Your hazy eyes were locked on your panicking boyfriend as he did everything in his power to keep you from bleeding out but you could feel yourself starting to slip away. You could feel how weak you were growing.. your eyes began to close.

“No! Y/N keep your eyes on me! Damnit, keep your fucking eyes on me!” Oscar sounded like a lost, scared little boy. Not the tough, scary cholo that everyone was afraid of. No, in the moment; he was the one that was afraid. He was watching the love of his life slip away and there was nothing he could do.


That sparkle in your eyes that he loved so much was starting to fade away into nothing and it killed him. It fucking killed him.

“Y/N, don’t close your eyes, baby. Please. No.. No! Y/N”

The last thing that you saw before your eyes finally closed was Oscar’s broken face, the tears that fell from his eyes, as he pleaded with you to keep your eyes open.

———

Oscar was numb. Absolutely numb.

His hands were stained in your blood. His t-shirt was stained in your blood. And the look on your face as you laid there, choking on your own blood, desperately trying to keep your eyes open, was engraved in his head. There was nothing he could do to get that memory out of his head. Nothing.

He heard the sound of rushed footsteps and ‘Where’s my baby? Where is she?’ And as he lifted his head, he saw your family rushing down the hallway. Geny and Ruben had looks of worry on their faces, your mom had tears flowing down her cheeks and your dad looked just as frightened but he was clearly trying to be strong for your mom. Your Abuelita was in tow, holding onto the twins’ hands. And Ruby, Ruby followed behind his parents with this scared, terrified face.

Oscar stood up when he saw your family rushing forward and they all stopped short when they saw him, when they saw the state that he was in - covered in your blood. Scary amounts of it.

“Oscar.. what happened to my daughter.. what happened to her?!” Geny demanded, by her sobs broke through and his own demeanor cracked. Geny turned to her husband and buried her face in his chest, holding onto his shirt as she cried and cried for her young daughter. Abuelita stood back with the twins - they were confused, unaware of what was going on, why their mommy was crying, why everyone was scared, so she tried her best to make them feel at ease, to comfort them

Oscar, with tears blurring his vision once again, looked at Ruby as he sauntered forward. The young teen looked at all the blood that should’ve been in his sister’s body, not on her boyfriends clothes, and let out a shaky breath of air. “She’s gonna be fine, right? She’s gonna live?” Ruby was desperately looking for that comfort. He wanted to so badly believe that his sister was gonna be fine. That she was gonna be okay. Oscar wanted that too. No. No, he needed that. The heartbroken Santo gave a nod.

“Yeah. Your sister is gonna be just fine, alright?”

———

The entire family and Oscar stood when the doctor came walking forward and Oscar felt this dread in the pit of his stomach at the look on his face. Cesar had shown up at the hospital after Oscar had called him and told him what happened. The kids were all there, supporting Ruby. Your dad had called Mario and told him what had happened and Mario promised he’d be there as soon as humanly possible.

“Dr? How is she? How is my daughter?” Geny asked. The doctor let out a saddened sigh and it was like Oscar couldn’t breathe. Like he was dying too.

“I’m sorry.. we tried to do everything in our power to save her but the bullets did too much damage and she lost a significant amount of blood. I’m sorry.” The cry Geny let out was heartbreaking, utterly gut wrenching. She fell to the ground and Ruben went right down with her, holding his wife all the while tears streamed down his face.

Ruby started crying, shaking his head saying she couldn’t possibly be dead. Monse, Jamal and Jasmine were right there - hugging him. Comforting him.

But Oscar. Oscar lost it. His body hit the wall and he slid down to the floor, his legs having gone completely jelly. He could feel his heart physically breaking into a million pieces and it was the absolute worst feeling. Cesar was right there beside his brother.

“Oscar..” The younger Diaz murmured. Oscar shook his head, refusing to believe it.

“No.. No, she can’t be dead. She can’t.. she can’t be.. dead..” He started crying. Actually crying. The Santo buried his face into his hands and cried, his entire body shaking with this pain he never knew before.

He’d dealt with the loss of a mother who preferred drugs over her own children. The loss of a father who walked out on his kids. He’d dealt with losing friends before. But this.. this was something that just killed him. Crushed him completely. The pain was indescribable. The image of your face in your final moments.

You had just been smiling, laughing, having fun. He’d just kissed you! He had just kissed you and now.. you were dead. You were dead and nothing was gonna bring you back. That was something that he had to live with and deal with for the rest of his life.

Cesar wrapped his arms around his heartbroken brother and hugged him. Hugged him close and didn’t let go. Oscar didn’t push him away. He leaned on his baby brother for support, hanging onto him as if his life depended it.

Memories of your times together over the years replayed. Your first kiss, your first time having sex, the first time you both said I love you. Waking up to your face in the mornings when you’d stay over. Memories of you two just laying in bed together and doing nothing, talking about the future. Your future.

Oscar was never gonna have that again. With anyone.

You were gone.

[ctrlsznwrites]

DON'T WALK AWAY

about — Cesar turns up at Oscars girlfriend house looking for a place to stay and ends up telling her about what happened at Olivia’s birthday and the aftermath of it. This doesn’t sit right with her so she goes and pays Oscar a little visit.

pairing — Oscar ‘Spooky’ Diaz x Black Female OC | Deja |

prompt — “You lied to me!”

author’s note — Honestly this is really decent at best lol, but I did have fun writing it because I’ve never really wrote angst before. so it’s something new and please leave feedback to let me know how you think I wrote Oscar.

A knock on her door at nine in the morning surprised Deja, as anyone who knew her knew not to come over her house unannounced. She quickly set her cup of tea down as the knocks became more frantic, making her way to the door.

Once she opens it she sees her boyfriend’s little brother Cesar, with only a bag on his shoulder. She studied his facial expression noticing how tired he looked, stepping to the side she let him in not knowing why he was here.

“Do you want something to drink or eat Cesar? I was just about to make breakfast.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly “that’s be nice, Dej.”

“So, you think I’m just gonna make breakfast by myself. No, take your shoes off and put them by the door and wash your hands boy. You’re helping me make breakfast.” She instructed pouting to the door for him to put his shoes near it.

“And while we cook you’re going to tell me what you and Oscar fought about. And also, why you choose to come to my place instead of your little girlfriends.”

He nodded doing as she said as she made her way to the kitchen getting out the waffle maker and the pancake mix. As she continued to get everything set up, she had a feeling that this was gonna be a conversation she was going to have to mention to Oscar later on today.

Turning on the frying pan she placed the bacon in the pan and let it start cooking. “Alright, I hate to bring this up, but I have a feeling this has to do with what happened to Olivia right?”

Cesar’s breath hitches and shoulders tense at the mention of the dead girl, he dried his hands turning around to look at Deja.

“It’s more about what I didn’t handle with Latrelle.”

Deja looked for him to continue speaking, hopefully getting to the point of why he’s here. “Can we please talk about this after breakfast. I just need a moment to not think about it?” He begged hopefully.

She agreed to it pulling him into a hug kissing his forehead. “I’m always here if you need me, just know that. Now make the pancake mix and I have chocolate chips in the pantry if you want to add some.”

The two continued making breakfast and just talking about the trip Deja just got back from. Visiting a few family members, she had in Miami, for about a week. By the time they finished eating the two had the conversation Cesar dreaded to have. He discussed the conversation between him and Oscar leading to him being kicked out because he didn’t kill Latrelle when he had the chances Which resulted in him watching his best friend and ex-girlfriend get shot at her quinceañera.

“Did he even try to convince them to let you stay with him?”

“I honestly don’t even know Deja, but I just need a few days to stay here. I tried staying at Ruby’s, but I know how they feel about what happened, just please don’t tell Oscar I’m not supposed to stay at a Santos girls place either.”

“Cesar if I have to break up with Oscar to make sure you’re safe I will. And I’ll get a gun too just in case anybody wants to try it. Now stay here and relax. I have a few errands to run today. Don’t answer the door either, for anyone.” Deja quickly made her way to her room changing before saying a goodbye to Cesar making her way over to Oscars place.

Once she arrived she got out of the car noticing there were a few Santos members littered around the front yard. This caused her to be angered more than she already was when she locked eyes with Oscar.

Walking up to him, she couldn’t help but want to smack the ever-loving shit out of him. “Oscar, we need to talk.”

“Not right now, I’m- I don’t give fuck about what you’re doing we need to talk right. fucking. now Oscar.” She emphasized.

He looked up and down as he felt his temper rise.

“Alright what do you want to talk about?” He replied sitting back on the couch.

“You really want to do this in front of your boys?” He smirked, nodding for her to continue.

Deja scuffed not believing he was acting this much of an ass. “So why the fuck did you lie to me about Cesar?”

“And how is that any of your business.”

“Bitch don’t play with me; I took care of him those four years your ass got locked up. So, it is my fucking business Oscar I don’t care if we broke up today he’s always going to be my fucking business. I can’t believe you have to audacity to even ask me that dumb ass question!”

Deja watched his face contort into one of anger, it usually makes her a bit uneasy. But she could give less than a damn right now especially. That was until he got up standing a few centimeters away from her face.

“Watch how you talk to me.”

“I’ll watch how I talk you once we figure how to fuck to help Cesar!” She yelled back, this caused him to grab her arm making his way into the house.

“Don’t ever fucking grab my arm like that again! What the hell is up with you? Kicking Cesar out after you told me you would make sure he would stay with you!”

“You lied to me!”

“Didn’t I just say for you to watch how you talk to me, lower your voice. And there’s nothing more I can do, I talked to the Santos about it and they don’t want to keep him in the gang, Deja. And he can’t stay with you.”

This caused her to look at him like he had lost his mind. “I don’t give a fuck about what the Santos say I can’t do. He’s staying with me, until you sort this shit out.”

He let out a frustrated sigh knowing that this was going to happen. He dragged his hands down his face before looking at Deja noticing how mad she truly was and didn’t blame her for being this mad at him. She thought he was just abandoning his little brother, tossing him to the streets.

And for how long to two had been together which was six almost seven years, she took Cesar in as her little brother. The two stood there looking at each other in a heated silence, Deja couldn’t believe how nonchalant about his little brothers’ situation.

“So, is there nothing you can do to help him? He’s just supposed to live on the streets. This is why you took care of him so he wouldn’t have to deal with why you dealt with but you’re only making it worse Oscar.”

“You don’t think I know that!” He exclaimed, walking towards her.

“You don’t think this isn’t fucking with me. I had to watch him beg for me to take him back in and I just had to turn him away and act like everything was fine. Buts it fucking not! I promise I’m trying to work on something Deja, I’ll let you and him know when I can do something about it, but until then he can’t stay with you! It’s too dangerous.” Deja took in everything he said, noting that by his expressiveness that he was trying but she just couldn’t come to terms with having to kick Cesar out.

She stayed silent not making eye contact with him not knowing what to say or do. “Just please figure out something fast. I don’t want anything bad to happen to him.” She stressed looking at him pulling him in for a quick hug.

Oscar kisses her forehead hugging her a little tighter trying to figure out how to help his little brother.

[spookysmujer]

Piensa En Mi, O. Diaz

Summary: The relationship with you and Oscars suddenly ends after he gets locked up. Now it’s 4 years later..

warnings: HELLA angst, heartbreak 

word count: 1.9K

a/n: I had an itch to write today, thank you for requesting babes! Sorry it took this long to get done. I hope everyone is doing okay these days. PSA: Stop the hate against Asians! Speak up for our brothers and sisters, please. I love you all! Please consider: following, heart/comment/reblog my content! Thank you <)

Requested by @boujee-bitches!

(gif belongs to @merakiaes)

You can remember the day you realized just how much you were in love with Oscar Diaz. It was a few months into dating, he had been in and out of town on Santo business, and yet still was able to check in with you. He even sent you doordash multiple times. And in that one moment, as the doordash driver stood at your door, carrying a bag of your favorite pastrami sub, you truly felt your heart bleed for Oscar. The feelings entirely mutual with him. You can remember that exact moment you felt it, just as you remember the moment your heart had been ripped away. 

The consequence of having such a pristine memory is the ability to remember not only the good days but the hurtful ones as well. Now, after years of being with Oscar, he’s gone. Things had been going so well with the Santos and moving up in the ranks for him. Then in a matter of seconds, all that changed. The moment those handcuffs linked his wrists together behind his back as he was  whisked away in the back of the patrol car was the day everything changed.

Change. 

They always say that change is a good thing. But whoever they are, they were wrong. Change is malicious, it’s life-consuming and does nothing but harm. In the beginning you were confident everything would be okay. Nothing could break this man, he has been through the highest highs and the lowest lows. He has endured things as a young child that no child should. Even when the judge has sentenced him to 8 years, the look he gave you said: It’ll be okay, mamas.

For the first few months, things were good. The money he would send to you, you’d put on his books regardless of his wishes for you not to do so. The phone calls that didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to. And the letters, even if you talked on the phone and visited him often, Oscar still wrote you letters, and he always drew something for you. 

But it began to get difficult. When school started up in the fall, your full-time job and now taking care of his younger brother, you started to miss calls, needed to reschedule visits. And when you would answer, Oscar would give you the cold shoulder. He realized that you were beating yourself up for trying to juggle everything. He hated himself for making you so stressed just to make it to him. So on a surprise call that you weren’t expecting, he broke it to you that dating while he is incarcerated is foolish of you. It’s a waste of your time. Please take care of yourself and Cesar, we’ll see where we are when I’m out. But for now, it’ll be just me.

That day replays in your mind. No more calls, rejected visits, ghost letters. It felt like he died, though you would have been notified of it if that was the case. But that was 4 years ago, everything had changed and according to Cesar, it’s about to change again.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” You ask, after holding your breath. Spooky gets out tomorrow. 

Cesar shovels the rest of his cereal in his mouth and gulps down the remaining milk, rushing around the kitchen and gathering his school things, “Oscar. He gets out tomorrow. His sentence reduced to half the time, remember the hearing they had last week?”

Whenever Cesar would talk about his older brother, you would tune it out. Oscar breaking up with you over the phone without a thorough reason, then dropping you as a person all together really broke you beyond repair. But you had no choice but dust off your shoulders and keep going. 

You hum and nod, packing your lunch.Without saying anything else, you head back to your room to get your things ready for work. As you pass by the room that Cesar had taken residency in, you notice the packed bags. “Cesar!” 

But by the time you make it back to the kitchen, he has already left out the door. Was he about to leave? Did he want out now that Oscar will be out? Though the idea was to care for Cesar while his brother was locked up, to know he is already ready to up and leave, hurts you. But you shake it off, Oscar is coming home, shit. 

Your day goes by painstakingly slow. All you could think about is how it would go when you’d see him again, how will you feel? What about him, what will he feel?

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Cesars voice sounds from across the table, the two of you enjoying some take-out. The day has gone from slower than a sloth to as quick as sonic the hedgehog.

He stares at you, waiting for you to respond. “Now that Oscar is getting out, it’s time for you to head on back home. Yeah, I heard you. Just sucks is all, I feel like my daily routine will be all messed up.” You joke to which he grins at. 

The next day comes by in a blink of an eye. Here you are leaning against your car that is parked in front of Oscars house. You can’t bring yourself to walk up those stairs and face him. But he hasn’t exited the house yet, you wonder if he even will. After Cesar gets the last bag is when you hear the front door. He makes his way towards you, your breath getting stuck in your airways. 

Cesar hugs you and thanks you again, you squeeze him and ask that he doesn’t be a stranger. Then there stood, you and Oscar. He stares at you for a long moment, studying you. It’s been nearly 4 years since he’s seen you. You are the same with little differences here and there, “You finally pierced your nose.” He points out. 

You purse your lips and nod, scoffing and looking him in the eyes, “Almost 1,300 days of not talking to me and seeing me…. And my nose ring is the first thing you say to me?” 

It wasn’t the plan to argue, you wanted to ask him to be kind to Cesar and take care of him then be on your merry way. But being in his physical presence now, it’s made your blood boil. How could he stand there like nothing had happened between you? The history you two have was an epic love and heartbreak but by the look on his face, it’s as if you are a stranger in passing. 

He licks his bottom lip and digs his hands into his shorts pockets, “What you want me to say? I said all I needed to that day on the phone.”

Your arms uncross from over your chest and your mouth falls slightly open. But before you can let out the rage that’s been building up continuously over the years, “I miss you, querida.” He watches your face contort to confusion then back to anger. He nearly smiles to see that you are still the hot head you’ve always been.

The words weren’t coming out as you wanted them to. All you could do was stomp past him to leave but he grabs your upper arm to stop you. You look down to where his hand wraps around your arm then up to his eyes, the look you give him is loud enough for him to let go.

“Can you just listen to me? You think I wanted to break things off? That it didn’t hurt me just as much as it hurt you?” Oscar begins, standing directly in front of you and slightly craning his head down. “I fucking hated that I did that to you, mami. The last thing I want in this world is not being with you, to cause you pain and to have done that when I was locked up? I hated it. Every single day. But I needed to do it because all I was doing was holding you back. I couldn’t bare knowing that I was making your life hard.”

An eruption of laughter sounds from you, you hold your stomach and one hand clamped over your mouth, hunching over from how hilarious you find his last sentence. Though anyone else hearing it wouldn’t really laugh, seeing as it wasn’t a funny statement. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. But do you hear yourself? You thought breaking up would be better. I don’t know if there was ever a time during our relationship prior that I made you feel I couldn’t handle something like you being locked up, I am terribly sorry if I had but I thought I proved to you that I was more than in love with you, I was hopelessly devoted to you, I was willing to endure it all, every call or visit. I was ready to work hard to make sure you could make tienda… but what did I do or what did I say to make you think otherwise?”

Oscar feels the chains on his heart tighten with every word you say. He doesn’t know what hurts him more, the break-up or now knowing how worthless it made you feel. He knows you are an understanding person, but his intentions didn’t settle as he hoped it would. 

It takes all his might to resist pulling you into a hug, With how you reacted to his touch just moments ago, he knows a hug would only result in profanities being spewed out. As if a hug could magically glue the pieces back together and fix it all. “You didn’t do shit wrong, Y/N. You were the epitome of a down ass girl. But all I could see was the tiredness in your face when you would visit me because you were playing mother to Cesar meanwhile trying to juggle everything else. Trying to make sure you would always come to see me… so I thought ending everything would be better, I thought you would be better off.”

The rage and ache in your heart fights against each other. He is saying one thing but to you its processing as nothing but an excuse. You want to yell and thrash your fists against his chest so he can feel just a sliver of what you went through. 

“I was better off with you. It didn’t matter to me what we were going through Oscar… If it was something joyous or something scrutinizing, as long it was with you and we were together, I wanted it all with you. I was ready to go through this journey with you. But you just gave up on us like that.” You snap your fingers and blink away the tears that had begun pooling for sometime now. His shoulders cave in and he dips his head down, unable to keep his eyes locked onto yours. 

“Give me a chance to prove that I haven’t given up on you or us.”

You wanted to laugh again. To point and scream how silly he sounds and to catch the circus act before they leave town but the way he says it is the reason you didn’t. How low his voice is, how soft his eyes are and his walls had dropped to below sea level is what made you stand so incredibly still.

Do you take the chance? Should push aside all the vines and roots that have grown over the chest labeled: Oscar, to let him in again? 

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