#cecilia p ; convo

[xtinyslip]

"IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE? MY DARLING?" cecilia was tolerating his behaviour because she believed that he needed to feel heard. seen. there would come a time in the near future where this would stop, where their dynamics would return to what they always were but she needed to regain her hold inside his head first. more importantly inside his heart. if that meant she had to act apologetic, if that meant she had to act as though she truly cared? that was exactly what she was prepared to do. even if she found this entire circumstance exhausting. "if i had wanted you dead? i would have told kramer about your involvement from the very beginning. i did not. if i'm as cold hearted as you are suggesting. what did i have to gain from keeping you out of it? I ADMIT, the others? they were lost causes -- each and everyone one of them. in the real world? outside of our protection? when we finally left them to their own devices? they would have become nothing but a liability BUT YOU? baby, come on. it's me. it's you. you were different." how could she sound so sincere? her words so heart felt when she didn't know how to make her heart feel to begin with? well, it was a gift. one she was in no desire to part with. "and i love you. parker, why else would i be here? hum?" because she needed someone that she could twist and point in the right direction. someone she knew she could have that affect on and he was that person. always had been, right? cecilia has her nails deep into this one and so perhaps, she didn't want to let him go so she would not. quite simply. "is that it? gabi?" good grief. what was wrong with them all? "the radiation she was exposed to would have burned her to death from the inside out. you really believed all that talk of 'lets get her to a hospital?' it would have been a terrible death. far from what the girl deserved." radiation was nasty, it was unforgiving but would gabi have died? not necessarily but it was very plausible that she would have. therefore, it worked for her story. "if i am such a terrible monster what does that make you? you were right by my side." how was she going to get inside of his head? well, she believed she was already very much there. she just needed him to see it from her side. it may take a little persuading but she believed she could do it. after all, where else was parker going to go? with gabi? please. how long would they last? she could almost laugh but she kept a straight expression. of course. "i did what i had to. if the child had saved both you and i? it would have been a loss i would have accepted. how was to know what he had planned for us at the very end?" oh, she used the kid to get under john's skin. to show him, to prove to him he was no less a monster than she was. however, parker seemed rather fragile over the matter so of course, she needed to make it sound better. "kill me? kiss me? looks like you want to do both, doesn't it? i know which one of those i will let you do." @fcdcdmcmories

[xtinyslip]

"WHY DON'T YOU START BY TELLING ME?" it would never have taken her long to figure out. whilst everyone was worrying about what twisted move john was going to make next, she was putting the pieces of the puzzle together and that had started with how mr kramer had learned so much in such a short period of time. well, she was like at the reason. not only was she looking at him, she wanted to lie him in front of that taxi and use his body as a speed bump. over and over again. still, her expression remained calm, even if she was seething on the inside. "and you did not think to find a way to get word to us? to warn me so i could prepare the others?!" it wasn't about the others. no, she could care less or so she told herself. this was about her and if it hadn't completely been it was now. she would rather ANYTHING than to continue to face her father's wrath. "you still have them i see? you won your game? that was more than the rest of them did." she'd give him that. the mention of parker had her biting the inside of her cheek, to the point where she could taste blood. "kill you? sweet diego," tilting her head as she smiled. "why would i kill you when you indebted yourself to me?" cecilia moved around to sit in the taxi, letting him know there was no way out of this. he would do as he said or she'd make his life that utterly unbearable until he gave in and did it with a smile on his face anyway. "DRIVE." @fcdcdmcmories

" OF .. COURSE . OF COURSE YOU CAN COUNT ON ME! AH! WHY WOULDN'T YOU?" if diego had a hole where he could bury himself in , only to never show his face again , he was damn certain that he would have done it . cecilia terrified him . no more than kramer did , of course not , but .. that would have been a hard thing to accomplish anyways , as far as he was concerned . right ? fucking so. " i.. you have to understand how terrifying it was! he got me first, boss! he got me first and ... i had to tell him everything . he wanted all the names and he stripped pipe bombs to my arms and told me to get them out . i had to tell him everything! he wanted to know, okay? about you and .. parker . i had to tell him . he would have killed me . and now, you're possibly going to kill me so ... ai, dios mio . " he was dead . he was so , so dead . he really fucking was . " talk ... i .. okay? get in?" (@xtinyslip)

[xtinyslip]

“OK, spill, what’s your plan for the zombie apocalypse?”

JOHN KRAMER. she knew he was different from the moment she had met him and of course that had intrigued her. life was short, she liked the taste of what he brought to the table... even if she didn't particularly like him. cecilia wasn't sure she was truly capable of liking anyone, for caring or becoming attached. eh well, she made it through life just fine without the need for such nonsense. "ah, of course. john kramer and his busy little plans." cecilia wasn't going to give him or anyone the satisfaction of admitting he had ruined everything for her. she never would give someone that power over her. ever. however, he'd definitely put a halt in the plans and future she had seen for herself. BASTARD but oh, she'd seen it. the look in his eyes, she had gotten to him, she'd gotten under his skin so deeply... she felt like she'd touched the core of who he was. "i'm surprised to see you are here to be able to discuss such plans? you're looking good, john." @lcvenderhcze

[xtinyslip]

"THAT'S GOOD. MAKE SURE YOU HOLD ONTO THAT. FRANKLY, WHEN HAVE I EVER GIVEN A SHIT EITHER?" she shrugged. the one person's opinion that deep down she'd always cared about was his and of course, by force ; her father's. everyone else? well, she had never particularly cared. there were a select few people that cecilia pederson actually cared about. truly cared about now. the rest? well, she could watch them burn and not so much as blink. that's who she was or that's who she had been made to be. she could become herself all she wanted but there were certain traits entwined too deeply in her now. they were there to stay. "it is you and me. i'll prove that to you. i love you, p." so much too. there wasn't anyone else that her actual heart was ever going to belong to. it was his, it had always been his ; it just took her longer to realise that. like the fool she had been back then. "SHE?" of course. "who was it?" was she going to let it go? no. "john was not --" she stopped herself. this was why she had chosen not to say anything. how could she defend john when all this was so fresh to parker again? how could she defend him to parker at all? she couldn't so she didn't finish her sentence but that wasn't a good sign. "it had the potential to change everything and we almost let it. we almost fucking let it. i almost lost you. you almost walked away and i'm not proud to admit that i couldn't figure out how to stop it. our first date night you recall? our wedding? that had been the first time we were together as us in months. no good would come out of you ever knowing this." what if this stuck in his head again? what if he began growing doubt? what if whoever the fuck told him this started planning that seed of doubt themselves? what if he walked away this time? after all this and to lose him because he didn't want her? she actually didn't know how she'd ever move the fuck on from that. she couldn't even look at him now. "my father did this to punish me. whether you blame me or not doesn't change the fact that it was my fault, p." it didn't. how could it? "i won't bullshit you. i told you i didn't want you to hear this from anyone at all." and when she got that name from him about who had told? it wasn't going to be pretty. "i don't need help. i lost him. karma's a bitch. most would say i had losing him coming." @fcdcdmcmories

"I'M POSITIVE NOT EVERYONE WOULD AGREE WITH YOU BUT I'M BEGINNING TO LIKE HER TOO. SHE IS PRETTY DAMN INCREDIBLE." smiling slightly at that. it had taken a lot to adjust to being this person, to being true to herself when she'd only ever known how to be one way. still, she was beginning to feel more and more comfortable in her own skin. the balance between who she was now and who she had been before was beginning to even out. now she was beginning to feel like her actual self and not despising it. "who told you?" her tone showed she was not impressed that someone thought it was their right to what? gossip? bitch? try to stir up trouble? because what other reason would ANYONE have to do that? "i didn't want to tell you." was it that simple? actually, it kind of was. "i am the one watching you hurting in this condition BECAUSE OF ME." anyone could deny it, try to tell her this wasn't her fault but it was. she wasn't stupid. "why would i want to hurt you with nonsense that didn't matter then and certainly doesn't matter now. hm? he was my friend and now he's dead. what purpose did it serve for you to know more?" again, just another delightful situation that happened to be her fault. @fcdcdmcmories

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"THIS IS FUCKING ABSURD. EVEN FOR YOU." john kramer being his hero? please. all he was trying to do was piss her off and it was working. kramer wasn't anything. he wasn't the saint they all saw him as. he was as much a fraud as she was and she had a feeling she'd pushed buttons that made him close to feeling that too. "ah you see parker, there it is! ALMOST! i would like to think it was very easy to appear so self sacrificing when he knew the way out. open your eyes, he was never going to die for that child." perhaps he was right and she was the cold, heartless monster that didn't care. no, it was more like she COULDN'T care. the level of shit that would cause if she were to ever even attempt to? it would drown them all. "is that what you are to believe? i am the most hated person here?" she chuckled, offering him a soft smile that was only reserved for him and the scam but that was something else entirely. "no baby, i'm the fucking hero here. oh, you didn't hear?" her head tilting, waiting to drop this information on him from so high -- she hoped he'd be aching from it for weeks. celicia didn't know why she felt so unsettled by his reaction towards her, it was almost as if it bothered her... when the truth was that not much came close. this however, well, she certainly didn't like it. "it's very easy to project all your shit onto me, isn't it? i ruined your life parker? please. i gave you a life! LOOK AT ALL WE HAVE EXPERIENCED TOGETHER." or was it suddenly all going to be bad? well, if it was he was about to give her the opportunity to see straight through his shit because that's what it would be. was it genuinely sad that her only good moments had been with him and she didn't even know herself if she loved him? if she even cared? WHAT DID CARING EVEN FEEL LIKE? she hadn't allowed herself to care for so long she didn't even know anymore. "that is what this has come to? you would wish such a thing on me? on all of us?" her father held no mercy. not for anyone or anything. especially those related to him through blood -- like her. cecilia hated that he used those moments against her now. she was quite taken back that he even would and perhaps her SILENCE on the matter showed that. her father's wrath wasn't something she wished on anyone. not even john kramer. "he is far worse a monster than i could or anyone else could ever imagine being." her voice quiet.

her mask may have slipped momentarily at the mention of her father but it didn't take for it to be back on her face. where it was supposed to be. "expose it! no one would ever dream of believing you and even if they did? what does that change? absolutely nothing." if parker really wanted to use that childhood trauma against her? well, that would be the terms he set for them -- anything goes. she would make him regret it. especially if it got her father's attention. he was so close to her, she could only pause and smile. possibly quite aggravating but she wanted to get under his skin, she'd claw her way there if she had too. IT HELPED THAT HE HAD GIVEN HER THE WAY IN. gabriela. "she will always be more mine than she ever will be yours. tell me, would you have even known she existed if it wasn't for me? she's in your life because i allow for her to be. if i want to change that? I HAVE MY WAYS AND I WILL. it would be a waste of your time and efforts to try and change it parker but if you insist..." she wasn't phased by that in the slightest. she knew gabi's weakness and now the two of them had created further weaknesses in each other? it was like they were asking her to come back in and take control or why else would they make it so easy?

CECILIA KNEW WHAT SHE HAD TO DO AND IT WAS THE MOST THE DIFFICULT CHALLENGE FOR HER YET. she had to act like what he had just done hurt her. it was all well and good acting like it bothered her, which wasn't an act. she wanted to smack that laugh off his face but to act hurt? wounded? it wasn't in her nature. still, their connection and the attachment they had shared for one another? she knew that didn't go away... not with how deeply she'd tried to make him feel it. "cruelty looks good on you. if i had known, perhaps i would have brought it out of you sooner." tilting her head, not smiling or acting like she was unaffected. it was time for her to act as though she was. was she? that was the question she didn't dare ask herself. this was already far too complicated. "you truly believe this was all pretend? is that how little you value yourself? i thought i was setting a better example for you. you can mock me, make fun of how my father treats me, lie about how you truly feel. I DESERVE IT but it wasn't all make believe parker. i broke one of my father's most important rules when i met you. i allowed you to get close, our relationship was... personal and i let myself become ATTACHED to you." that was all true. whether she actually wanted to hurt him in every possible way she could think of right now. there was an attachment there. of course, there was. if there wasn't then he would be dead right now. she would not be wasting her time. @fcdcdmcmories

"MAYBE HE IS MY NEW FUCKING HERO . want to know a lil' thing? maybe the guy is a monster and maybe he scared the crap out of me , but at least , he's loyal to the people he claims to love . he almost died for that kid . he cared about young . he may be a bad person but .. fuck if he doesn't care for his loved ones . you can't say the same, can you? nah. i can hate you just fine myself. don't need anyone to tell me to do it." nope . she couldn't, could she? thanks to gabi .. he was seeing things a lot differently . he was seeing her in a different light and perhaps , he hated it . deep down. "you're lying," a scoff . had she not learned to not play this game with him? she had said it herself .. he knew her, better than anyone . what was it that gabi had also said ? everything that came out of her mouth was a lie . the kid , as it seemed , was more than right about this too. he should learn to listen to her more, it seemed . "if kramer had killed you? you'd be scared shitless of him . looking over your shoulder constantly . and you're not .. which means .. you walked , didn't you ? you fucking bitch . you walked away , without a scratch , at the expense of all of us . how does it feel to be the most hated woman in town?" and there was the difference . a long time ago? he would have been happy about it. he would have been happy that she had been the one to live. even if it had been at the expense of his own head . even if he had needed to die for her to survive . right now, however? the only thing that he felt was a lot of anger and.. some sadness , too. that this was how it had all ended . with the two of them on opposite sides . "i knew you weren't perfect . always fucking knew . and guess what? i loved you for it . i loved everything about you and used to think .. how did i get so lucky to have her even look twice my way? now? now, i wish you never had . i wish we'd never met . you ruined my life, cecilia . and not just mine . gabriela's. valentina's. diego's. mateo's. the idiots who would have done anything for you and now .. now , you're alone . that's a shame." it would be .. if it wasn't precisely everything that she deserved . or so he wanted to think . so he wanted to make himself .. believe . "don't understand? oh , honey . i do . i've seen it from close up or did you forget how .. startled you were , whenever he came to visit? i used to take your hands and help you calm down , as soon as he was out the door . HOW THEY SHOOK . are you really that afraid of him? good . i hope he comes here . i hope he makes your life a living hell and that you turn around and realize that .. you are the failure that he always thought you were . worst of all ? you're exactly like him . A MONSTER .

" oh, no. he wouldn't have dared to use that against her in the past but now , he was enjoying the fact he had something he could use to get a reaction out of her. anything to ruffle her pretty little feathers a bit . " you're right . you told me all of that in confidence . but .. why should i be the keeper of your secrets anymore, hm? and i know quite a few of them now. why not let the world know what a fraud you really are? a scared little girl with massive daddy issues?" he was seething . seeing red and so much that he hadn't even realized how close he had gotten to her . "don't fucking call her that . she's not our anything . you lost the right to any of them when you betrayed all of us . and what a shame , right? we were all so damn loyal to you, too." once upon a time , hearing her say that would have gotten to him . once upon a time , hearing her say that would have made him do whatever she wanted from him and yet , right now .. he was different . this was different . and if she wanted to play games with him? he'd play them with her right back.

"is that really all you want ? me, back at your side? as we were? and you'll leave the kid alone? i .. " he pretended to consider it , finding it all too easy to let his face slip into a mask , mimicking what it had been before everything . all an act, right? as he brought his hand up to her cheek , leaving it there , closing any and all distance between them . " you.. have no idea of what you do to me. even after so long . i should hate you, but ... i can't . I LOVE YOU , CECILIA . always have . you're it for me, baby." he pretended that he was about to kiss her, moving forward as he did so, hand still placed against her cheek , as he used his other arm to pull her closer to him for a few seconds . just as his lips had barely touched hers? he pulled backwards, finding himself laughing and laughing and laughing. mocking her . something he would have never done in the past . "ah! oh my god? did you really think that it would be that easy, you idiot? one little threat and i would come right back to you , pledging my undying love again? forgetting all you did to me? THINK AGAIN. not so fun when someone pretends to feel that way about you, is it? to be about to give you everything that you ever wanted, only to take it away? about time you got a taste of your own medicine, doc." @xtinyslip

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"IF I HEAR ONE MORE COMMENT ABOUT JOHN FUCKING KRAMER! what is it? why is he your new found fucking hero. hm? because he claimed to want to save gabriela? sweet innocent carlos? how can you not see that he played you? all of us? he has you so caught up in hating me that you can not see this for what it really was." A GAME. that's all mr kramer liked to do wasn't it? play his silly little games with his silly little whore? she would have cut out kramer's guts if she thought there was any there to spill. realising that perhaps, her reaction had shown anger that he seemed to fragile for. she pulled back. "what do you think happened when you were gone? he just let me walk? no, we burned together baby!" had she walked? eh, of course but no one else knew that. not now john and amanda had convienently decided to forget everything. what happened after was her story, she could make it whatever she wanted it to be.

"i protected you in the only way i knew how. i never claimed to be perfect, to the others? maybe but not once to you." perfect was to hard for anyone to buy into, right? and she'd needed him invested and she really needed to think that he still was. why else would he be still standing there? her hooks were in deep with him and she had no intention of loosening her grip. parker had tried to save them and she supposed she could find that... sweet? romantic? did she though? no, it had been idiotic but at least it showed how loyal he was. how committed he could be and she needed to harness that in him again. NO ONE SPOKE OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER FATHER. it was perhaps her one true weakness and the fact he dared use that against her? if she had a knife right now? she wouldn't have done him the kindness of stabbing his stomach. no, she would have cut and cut all whilst he was still breathing. BASTARD. "don't speak of what you don't understand... it's never a look you should aspire for."

WAS HE GETTING A KICK OUT OF THIS LITTLE SPEECH? wow, she had rubbed off on him much deeper than she thought. her head tilted, the whole idea that he might very well be enjoying this was fascinating to her. it almost distracted her from his taunts which he was extremely lucky for. otherwise, she may have ripped his tongue from his throat right there and then. "honey," using the same nickname that he had used for her. "i would have everyone believe my father is the saint from all those promo's. hm? it takes a monster to create a monster. what you speak of? i told you in confidence parker. do not." shaking her head. it made her uncomfortable speaking about her father, it was a bad jinx. "you had your chance to kill me and you chose not to take it. you have a chance right now but we both know parker? you'll do jack shit with it." shaking her head. "i did more for OUR sweet gabi than you. what did you do for her in there? hm? apart from the obvious -- standing there watching her suffer?" she should never have shown her how much gabi meant to him because now? she'd use it. "YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT. give it to me? and i might just let our gabi live a boring, normal little life here. hm?" of course, reminding him that his claim over the child was just as strong as hers was. "if you are not willing?" she shrugged. "you will be left along, standing helplessly whilst you watch gabi ruin her own life." with cecilia's help, of course. the one thing about cecilia? she did not bluff. no, she said it because she meant it. "don't threaten you?" bringing her hand up, she twisted it in the front of his shirt, pulling him closer. oh, they couldn't get any closer, she could practically feel the warmth of his skin against her own. good. leaning forward so she could whisper directly in his ear -- because she could. "admit it parker. you like it. you crave it. YOU NEED IT." @fcdcdmcmories

"I THOUGHT I DID. I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU. I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE EXCEPTION . hey , maybe she hates everyone else , but ... it's me . she would never . guess that i was the fucking fool, wasn't i? kramer was right . what was it that he said? she'll burn you, you just don't know it yet. and you did . you fucking did ." he couldn't let go of it , no matter how many times he really wanted to . and he did . he wanted things to go back to how they used to be . when it had felt like it was the two of them against the world . only that had been a lie . a big lie , just like everything else that had ever come out of her mouth .

"protect me ?" he had to laugh . "and pray tell, darling, how was it that you protected me again? by shoving a knife in my gut ? i should have killed you first but guess what? i was the idiot throwing a chair against the window , hoping with everything that he had , that it would break . that we could both get out of there , money be damned . i'm a fool . i don't know who i hate more . you or myself for ever believing your lies ." maybe he was a monster . maybe he was , because the satisfaction that he got at seeing the tears in her eyes was not normal and perhaps , never would be . right? maybe he was the monster that she made out of him and they would keep on going like this . for good . " there we go . looks like the stone cold bitch isn't as cold as she likes to pretend to be , hm ?" he moved forward , anger crossing his expression and remaining there .

"you shouldn't have betrayed me if you didn't want to see me to use what i know against you . what was it, huh? the fact that he never cared about you ? the fact that he never gave a damn about his daughter , unless she was picture perfect ? because see - honey - i know some things . i know that behind your perfect, not one hair out of place facade , there's a scared little girl - terrified of being alone . still getting back from the fact that daddy never loved her . he didn't care and so , she made herself into a monster to please him and yet , it still wasn't enough . that's it , isn't it ? that's the one thing no one knows about you , but .. i do . you're right , cecilia . i do know you . better than anyone . THAT WAS YOUR MISTAKE , BECAUSE .. NOW ? I'M THE ONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO TAKE YOU DOWN BEST." and he would . she had given him absolutely no other choice and he knew that . still this? it was not something that he had ever dared to do in the past but her betrayal had made him .. bolder . not giving a shit anymore . "you're the sick, perverted stranger. maybe it took me a while to learn it , but .. i know that now . " he did . it had taken a while and maybe he was a s l o w learner , but.. he had learned and now, he knew so. " maybe you underestimate how i don't care anymore . how .. somewhere along the way , i learned to be exactly like you . don't test me . i will kill you . for the kid . for the other idiots - who died beliving you gave a damn about them ." he grimaced, holding his breath. the sight of her being so close to him still did things that he would rather not admit, but.. right now, it was his hatred that was louder. much louder than whatever love he still had left for her. "you sick fucking bitch. she's a kid! a kid who looked up to you! who looked at you to protect her! wasn't it enough that you ruined her life once? what else do you want, huh? what is it going to take for you to leave her alone? all of us? because if you hurt one hair on her head? i swear to god i'll do it. i'll ruin your life, just like you ruined ours. don't. threaten. me." parker froze where he was, right in front of her. close enough that he could feel her breath on his cheeks, but he did not care. he was seeing red. how could she do this? after everything? how could she? (@xtinyslip)

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"YOU ARE LETTING THE SAME FOOLS WHO TRIED TO HURT US GET INSIDE YOUR HEAD! THIS IS THEIR WORDS! NOT YOUR OWN! they can not be your own. you know me better than anyone." not that she blamed them for trying to get inside his head, was she not here making the exact same move? still, she would not let any of them win this time. no, she was coming out of this with what she wanted and if she had to be the glimpse of the person they had seen before? then, she would. they thought they had any idea who they were trying to fuck with? they did not. "when i first received his application? i had no idea. how could i have known? but with further screening i may have discovered whom he was and what his recreational hobbies were. yes. parker, do not think for a second that i need anyone else to save my... how romantically did you word it? ungrateful ass? i kept your name out of his plans, i kept you out of his intentions to protect you." lies. cecilia would have figured out another escape if he hadn't come but why bother? she had known as soon as that call had connected that he would come for her. it was why he was so useful to have around. not like this, no. this version of him would not do but it could be corrected. she had no doubts. "i was afraid, i'm not proud to admit that i let that get the best of me. it altered my actions." had she been scared? ehhh, perhaps briefly at times but no. she'd acted like it had phased her but honestly, it hadn't all that much. watching the others die hadn't made her so much as blink, not inside. of course, her reactions on the outside had all been for show. ugh.

SHE WASN'T EXPECTING THE MENTION OF HER FATHER. there were topics he never to fucking dare use against her and she had to admit, she hadn't believed he had the balls too. well, she was actually quite impressed or she would be once she was done being seething at his betrayal. "that was --" she swallowed hard, allowing tears to burn at her eyes. he had surprisingly hurt her. well, hurt was her initial response but this? this was just pure manipulation but fuck him -- he deserved it after that comment. "rather me than some sick, perverted stranger getting off to her agonizingly, slow painful death. YES. quite right." gabi couldn't have gotten out of there. she had been a risk at the best of times but she had been easily controlled with her drug habit. in the hospital? just out of reach? going through withdrawal? who knew what stupid comment she might say. no, it couldn't have been allowed and if he couldn't see that? he was a bigger idiot than she thought. WOW.

cecilia studied his expression, still quite impressed he was holding his nerve. if he wasn't afraid of telling her this? then, he was due a harsh lesson because he should have been. still, this was fun. she found it strangely endearing. she could care less whether she made him uncomfortable when she stepped forward. "that was quite impressive parker. i imagine you did not find that easy to say to me? i respect it as much as i believe you would take the fall as well as me." oh, she believed that but this actual idiot. she leaned forward more to make sure he really got the message because she wasn't fucking around. "gabriela though? hmmm, i'm not so sure you or i would want that for her. do you know how many drug addicts relapse? the statistics would shock you, they are dreadfully shocking. all it would take is ONE slip of a needle and she would spiral back down into that same state of despair we came to know and love. except... imagine if that drug was one of my own creation? one she could only get directly through me? what do you think would happen then? hm? do not threaten me ever again." because she would do it. in fact, with how gabi was acting currently -- she would do it happily. did they really believe she didn't have a back up? her reputation here spoke volumes. she had everything covered so if they really wanted to sing to the cops then please, was she shaking in her boots? no, it would be merely an inconvenience and one they would live to regret. @fcdcdmcmories

"NO . I NEVER WAS, RIGHT? I WAS A PAWN YOU USED . JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS . just like gabriela and mateo and valentina .. we lived and died to serve your whims. guess what? not anymore . we're done. you're staying away from all of us . for good ." he hated her . he hated the way that she still knew how to get under his skin . he hated the way that she still affected him as much as she did . what was it that gabi had said? she's a disease and you're better off staying away from her . right . that. "you know , i asked myself that quite a lot . i've had a lot of time to think in here . to get to the conclusion of what a fucking idiot i really fucking was . you kept me on the side because you knew who kramer was , didn't you? you knew - sooner or later - he'd come for you and then , you needed someone to come and play prince charming to save your ungrateful ass . guess what ? seems like i finally got my SHIT together and realized what everyone has known all along . you're not. worth. it." laughing , he shook his head . she really didn't see it . well , there went his theory of remorse and gabriela was proven correct once again . she was that much of a monster that she didn't feel remorse over anything that she did , wasn't she ? yes . "love me? do you even know what love is? i'll give you a hint, baby, it isn't tossing the one you claim to love under the bus as soon as it suits you," was he about to hit her with a low blow ? yes but it didn't matter . she had done plenty to deserve that much . "or did your father - the great, great doctor finn fucking pederson mess you up so badly that you can't even feel a damn thing ?" maybe there was a part of him who regretted it as soon as he said it . he knew her secrets . some of them , at least , and he would have never dared to throw them in her face before and yet , he was now . fuck this and fuck being her pawn . he couldn't be more done with it . " and so , you step on her neck twice and kill her yourself . my god . i almost forgot you were supposed to be an actual doctor for a second there . sounded more like a psychopathic killer than an actual doctor . leave the girl alone . in fact , i'm going to put it this way . leave all of them alone or we're going to make you pay for it . the kid has a good idea . letting it all out . telling the cops . telling the press . so much that you won't be able to run your little scheme here . I DON'T CARE IF I GO DOWN TOO . I'LL TELL THEM EVERYTHING . right from the start . all of it . try me . " would he ? if she hurt the kid , yes . if she did anything against them , yes . right ? "i'm the monster you made me . that's right . but unlike you? i'm going to be better, by cutting you out of my life completely . for good . " he had to do it . or she would be the death of him again and that wasn't something he could let happen . ever . " do you even hear yourself ? he was a child ! you just .. you use people . left and right , without caring about what ever happens to them . i wasn't an exception . " he moved forward , almost as if he had been about to do what she said , getting closer and closer , before stopping . " GO TO HELL, CECILIA . you'd surely deserve it. maybe someone hasn't killed you yet , but ... they will . soon . it's what you deserve ." (@xtinyslip)

[xtinyslip]

BOSS. the word was music to her ears because she needed at least one of these idiots on board and then the rest? well, sooner or later it would be a domino affect. no one could doubt that she didn't know what she was doing. cecilia pederson was always a step ahead, it just seemed john kramer was two. well, she had taken that and she had learned. ADAPTED. "diego" i knew i could count on you." to royally fuck everything up. of course. well, when he had been the only one missing from the games -- she had put two and two together. she should slice his throat for being the one to give away her parker trick but... she had all the time in the world to do that. "so it was you? you gave my name to mr kramer, didn't you? all our names? i did wonder when i couldn't see you. we will have plenty of time to discuss that later. ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" no, she couldn't have cared less. in fact, she hoped kramer had made this coward suffer but her face did not say that. no, her face showed genuine concern. "we are going for a ride diego. we need to talk. just you and me." @fcdcdmcmories

closed starter for @xtinyslip ( cecilia )!

he didn't know who he was more scared of . either her or kramer , but .. in diego's mind , the alternatives were both legit terrifying . kramer had strapped a pair of bombs to his arms and told him to figure it out and the way that he hadn't died ... well , he had no clue as to how he had managed to get out of there with his head still attached to his shoulders . regardless , it didn't mean that cecilia was any less terrifying , because .. well , she was . scary as shit . a scary as shit boss that he was not face to face with .. wasn't that just peachy ? "huh ... hi , boss ," if there had been a way to dig a hole to bury himself in , he would have done it without blinking . " good to see you ! you're looking .. huh , well? alive-ish? do you need a ride somewhere? hopefully not to ... you know , murder anyone ?" well, he had been the one to out her and all the others to kramer . could anyone blame him for being scared shitless that she was going to kill him for that? MAYBE . SHIT .

[xtinyslip]

"IF NOT YOUR FAULT THEN WHO? who should i hold accountable for your actions? mateo? valentina? our little gabi? WHO?" if he didn't want to hold the blame then he would need to put another name forward and she would consider it. after all, she was the one who made the rules. not them. it was about time she started reminding them of that and he was just extremely lucky she still had use for him. or, he would have been the first she made an example of. without blinking. "i want to know every single thing you told him about. every last word." kramer may not have memories now but how long did that last? knowing her luck at the moment it wouldn't and she needed to be prepared. the fact that kramer had known of her attachment to parker, that despite that she would still cut him off at the knee's to SURVIVE. "you saved your own skin and left the rest of us to fend for ourselves? i'm sure even you can assume how that went? hm?" IDIOT. in fact, she was struggling not to talk to him through gritted teeth. "i don't care whether he threatened you or every single person you've ever spoken to. you tell me! or you will wish that kramer's little trap had resulted in the end of your life. are we clear?" because he wasn't leaving this taxi or this conversation until it was clear. crystal fucking clear. "it seems there may be hope for you yet. I'M PROUD OF YOU." of course, he was going to do what she asked because he wasn't that stupid. the alternative would be worse than death. all the trouble these fucking idiots had caused her? she wasn't in the mood to fuck around. "i presume you have already reconnected with the others, yes?" raising her eyebrow as she waited for his answer. "i want you to act as though you're on their side. that you hate me as much as i'm aware they all do. you're going to be my eyes and ears. everything that is said between them, everything they do? I WANT TO KNOW." @fcdcdmcmories

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT ! you have to understand that .. that .. that .." well, shit. if he couldn't even come up with an excuse to save himself , perhaps that meant that he was as good as dead and .. fuck . fuck . fuck. "he got to me first! okay? i wouldn't have made it out of there alive if i didn't tell him everything that he wanted to know! and he wanted .. he wanted to know about you , boss. about everything . about you and .. parker . your real relationship . about .. the fact that he was .. well , you know . keeping you .. company?" he believed that the word that he had used to kramer had been fucking but ... he did not dare to say that in her presence . still , it was clear on his face, no? and like the good little idiot - he had told the man everything that he had asked . could anyone blame him for it , though? he had been fucking terrifying . still was . then again , cecilia was even scarier and right now , it seemed as if he was fucked. damn . "i couldn't! he told me that if i told you anything or if i warned you , he would come for me again and this time , i would not have a chance to save myself ! COME ON , BOSS ! YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ! I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO ! isn't that what you always said ? that surviving is what matters ? i did it. i lived . he let me go." and then he had ran like hell but he was already in trouble with her .. he dared not to say such a thing out loud . " you're right , i .. whatever you need ! what is it? what can i do for you ? anything!" he would do it to save his own skin . yep . "where .. are we going ?" (@xtinyslip)

[xtinyslip]

THIS WAS EXCELLENT. although she much preferred a challenge and she was certain that this version of john kramer wasn't what she was looking for. still, she had time and certainly patience to wait for the real john kramer to surface. at least this time she would have the advantage, she would be the one waiting for him. "no, please. the apologies are all mine. it's been quite a taxing few days at my research station. i believed you were someone i once knew." this version of him certainly wasn't the man she knew. what would draw him out, she wondered? the death of his girlfriend? his son or kidnapped son? but yes, of course, she was the monster. these people, honestly. "this place is your own? i must say i am very impressed." she smiled, politely. "is it all yours or is there a lovely mrs kramer around?" of course, digging. oh, she hoped that it was amanda... apparently one smack wasn't hard enough. perhaps, she wouldn't leave her with a face by the time cecilia was done this time. "it's such a pleasure john. my name is cecilia, cecilia pederson." @lcvenderhcze

"I'M..... SORRY? HAVE WE MET BEFORE, M'AM?" he didn't know why seeing the other had startled him as much as it had. he didn't know her - at least, he didn't even know what her name was and no, it didn't look like that would be changing anytime soon. regardless, she... annoyed him right away and no, that was not something that happened a lot and right now, even the mere sight of the other was enough to catch him by surprise. he didn't know her and yet, he believed that he did. "well, this is my bar, so.. i don't really venture outside here to really be elsewhere, unless i need to. my family is all here." amanda and carlos were everything that he had ever wanted and no, he didn't really need anything else. not when he had them. not when nothing mattered more than the two of them did. his son and his.. well, he hoped that one day, he would be lucky enough to be able to call her his wife. "thanks.. i guess? you know my name and yet, it doesn't seem that i know yours. MISS...?" @xtinyslip