#cecelia dreeszen

[sunflowerinpearls]

Top five songs?

I'm going to definitely cheat. I will shuffle my "Favorite's" playlist, and give you the first 5 that play. :)

1- Shelby Kay & Savannah Dexter - Don't need savin'

2- Avery Anna - Self Love

3- Taylor Swift - Anti-Hero

4- Billie Eilish- Bad Guy

(seems to be a theme here)

[thisisforthegents]

A very distinguished gentleman

[wildflowersnweed]

[sunflowerinpearls]

Mount Rainier

Washington, USA

📸: Cecelia Aubrey Lynn Dreeszen

*Photo taken on an iPhone 6s Plus

Photo Edited via iPhone ONLY*

"Ascending to 14,410 feet above sea level, Mount Rainier stands as an icon in the Washington landscape. An active volcano, Mount Rainier is the most glaciated peak in the contiguous U.S.A., spawning five major rivers. Subalpine wildflower meadows ring the icy volcano while ancient forest cloaks Mount Rainier’s lower slopes. Wildlife abounds in the park’s ecosystems. A lifetime of discovery awaits."

~ Source: nps.org

(by alberthbyang)

[justforthegents]

I took this photo.

*LEAVE CREDIT TO ME ON THIS PHOTO IF YOU REBLOG*

Photographer: Cecelia Dreeszen

[abunchofdogs-blog]

[sunflowerinpearls]

[thisisforthegents]

ur not a bad bitch ur just a fugly bitch

[sunflowerinpearls]

"Before I hurt so bad I had to change my name"

~ Skydxddy - Why Me

I went to Independent Study instead of Public/Private/etc. schooling between the grades of 7th-12th.

When I went to the School Campus to pick up my Certificate of Graduation, I opened it to read that my last name was "Laube-Porter" and I was standing there in shock wondering who the heck had the last name of Porter? I looked at my then Dad (Biological Paternal 1/2 Uncle) who "helped" raise me, and he looked at me and said "You weren't supposed to ever know that."

"Know my own last name?"

He is no longer my Dad due to a flashback I had.

15 years LATER, I find out the truth:

My Biological Mother (Michelle Myers) listed her then boyfriend as my Biological Father instead of my Biological Father because she didnt want him to have any rights over me. (Props on that, I guess?)

At the age of 33, I handed my Certificate of Graduation to my Husband Derek Dreeszen and he changed it for me.

What a relief!

We changed my name.

[sunflowerinpearls]

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

****TRIGGER WARNING****

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All because the “ADULTS” around me couldn’t seem to manage to keep me “SAFE”

All because the “ADULTS” around me LIED to me about everything including but definitely not limited to:

- My own last name (I found out the truth at 18 years old when I picked up my Diploma after Graduating Independent Study & when I opened it up to see my full name, FULLY EXPECTING IT TO SAY “Cecelia Aubrey Lynn Laube” when instead it said “Cecelia Aubrey Lynn Porter”

What was THIER rebuttle?!

“Uhh, you weren’t supposed to know that.”

…ITS MY LAST NAME!!!!!

- Being DRUGG3D every single night and being used as a prop for the camera because a drugg3d child will smile & giggle more for the photos so just sit and look pretty, right??

- What about the times you would verbally tell me that my “Step-Grandfather: Papa” graped you, beat you, etc the entire 35 years of marriage you endured and put up with. It’s no wonder everyone called you crazzy, because you left after 35 years, leaving me homeless at just 8 years old and several more times after that. You made sure I had everything materialistic but never basic human needs. 🙄

“Papa didn’t touch you. You’re making that up” - Yes because a person has a flashback of themselves bl33d!ng in their diaper & all around them after having an adult inside them before they were a year old. Yes you’re so right! Im making up stories & definitely NOT telling the truth.

How dare Carol Lee Laube tell me that “a person of color is just a (insert word I refuse to say __________) but the adult that graped me as a baby was such an angel so he couldn’t have possibly done that!!!” You’ll hide the REPEATED SEGGSUAL ABU$ER but how dare *I* have black friends?!

Your cousin did not grape you and if he did, you asked for it.”

“It’s your fault he touched you!”

Or how about all of the times you would catch people “in the act” and turn and just walk away?

What about that?

[thisisforthegents]

ur ass is ugly and fk u for sending me a ugly message

[thisisforthegents]

Idk if any of yall gents like horses, but this picture gits the aesthetic for this blog of mine. I love all the moodiness.

[wildflowersnweed]

Just a toke for all of you beautiful, lovely followers and friends of mine on here. Remember today, for YOU, that you are here for so many reasons and so many of us love you and need you here. It gets better. If you need me:

Snap: Cecelia90712

Facebook/Instagram: Cecelia Dreeszen

Phone #: ASK:)

[sunflowerinpearls]

what is in me that makes me so unlovable to you? What did I do or say that caused you to relish in inflicting pain upon my already scorned heart? Why do you wake up, longing for someone who will never reciprocate the gift that is your love, when you could be searching into the soul of the one you already chose? What day did you decide that I wasn't what you wanted and you will always have to search for more? But most of all... Why is it still you?

- Cecelia Dreeszen 07-16-2024

[sunflowerinpearls]

Chasing a sunset in Minnesota

📸: Cecelia Dreeszen

[sunflowerinpearls]

I am on a journey to figure out who I am...

I finally woke up, really, truly WOKE UP.

But in the aftermath, we have discovered quite a lot of deep rooted physical & mental health problems.

I no longer want to associate myself with only my trauma. I'm so "over it". I am personally over being a victim of everything I went through. The experiences that led me all the way to where I am now, tell me in this moment that I am no longer allowed to look back anymore. If I attempt to look back, I will trip because I am no longer turning around to back track. Of course I would trip! But this is also the part where I am now asking for grace and a LITERAL $HIT TON of forgiveness for a LOT of people to really see and then accept and THEN begin to trust the new me.

I have changed in ways that I cannot get back. I am grieving who I could have and should have been. I am grieving lost relationships that I caused to end. And people that love me, are grieving the "Cecelia" they knew.

I am sorry to a lot of people.

But not as sorry as I will ever be to my own heart, soul & blood: Derek Dreeszen & Christine, Lily snd Jack

To them,

I have not been a good person

I made really $hitty choices

I said really horrific, evil things

I did unforgivable acts

I acted out in behaviors that I will forever regret

I am choosing to be more self-aware and to take on responsibility for my own $hit

I tell everyone else to grow up...

Now I'm taking my own advice.

Now for those of you who are still reading, and are not my family I just mentioned.

I am being sent to a Neurologist. Thing's may not be as perfect as you once thought they were.

Without going into too much too many details, I really need to ask you a favor but it is only if you are willing.

Can you give me a memory (Yes, if you have more than 1, I really need to know!!!!) with me that you have? Of me, of us....

Anything matters.

I love the ones who know it,

& chances are, you're one of them♥️♥️♥️

Ps: Healing is not linear and no one journey is alike! And yeah, This IS a Beatles Tee!!!