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comicteaparty · 6 years ago

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May 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 23rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like.

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Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! Our final Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like~! (https://maidenmachine.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think my favorite scene so far is when elizabeth and victor decide to sleep together. part in for its serious drama. theres so many questions about victor created from just the visuals, and then theres the stakes at hand of elizabeth's reputation. but then, there is also a good balance of comic relief to a degree since victor told her to ask no questions and she asks the one question that he probably didnt see coming. all around it was a pretty satisfactor culmination of their relationship so far at a juncture that felt natural.

another scene i really enjoyed was the ball scene where victor and eric are having a chat about elizabeth and then elizabeth and victor have a passionate liason. im mostly a fan cause of the dramatic convo. cause theres a deep and terrible sense that both characters truly know what their risking, what the situation is, and how they still are into each other. plus, its all very tense cause it just takes one person being in the wrong place at the wrong time to blow their cover.

honestly i think itd be accurate to say all my favorite scenes are with elizabeth and victor. romance is one of those genres i can struggle with, because theres always something missing. but oh man do i love the romance in this comic. there is nothing more i want than to see then elizabeth and victor finding a way to be together in spite society trying to kick that down at every turn.

i will give a special shout out to the scene where eric, abhaya, milo, and the cousin are meeting to discuss the affairs of the estate. i just like it because it basically shows all the characters' worst sides. abhaya is brash and reckless, milo is just kind of there, and eric is a greedy mofo. and whats worse is literally none of them thought to bring elizabeth. they may have their excuses of protecting her...but part of me still thinks thats a super dick move and shows even abhaya just kind of views elizabeth more as a pawn than a person. but all in all, nothing like money and estates to show off everyone's worst traits. it is very true to life, and i can respect that.

another non-victor/elizabeth scene i respect is the scene where elizabeth is out dress shopping and eric is like here i got you these dresses. just cause i knew eric was kind of a creep, but ho boy, he dialed the creep up to number 11 on a 10 meter scale. but at the same time, i think that really helped to erase all sympathy i might have had for him. thus paving the way for me to not really feel guilty on elizabeth's behalf for her trespasses against him.

mathtans

Hello, I made it... unfortunately this is a rather bad week, I only made it through the first two chapters.

RebelVampire

i also like scenes with west in them. cause I like that between all the people around Victor, West seems the most honest in a scoundrel sort of way. Which that is basically what I like about him in every scene. He causes trouble and pushes the limits, but at the same time hes always at least pretty upfront about his intentions.

thats unfortunate cause its a great comic, but glad to see you anyway math!

mathtans

Which kind of sucks, I like the whole concept of the kick ass ladies. Even the pirates.

Maybe I'll find time to read more in the background.

The bit I liked most of what I read I think was back in the first chapter, when Elizabeth makes the callback to when she got out of the ropes at the very start of the story. It was a nice subtle detail which I found very clever.

I'm not at your bits yet but I can see how the Elizabeth/Victor thing is being set up. Also there seems to be some question of whether Abhaya likes him... or possibly other ladies? I may be reading my own interests into that.

RebelVampire

you may be reading your own interests but later on there is a female character i ship abhaya with atm

so there is that

i dont think youve met her yet tho

mathtans

Also, yeah, the whole estate thing creates an interesting dynamic. That was a clever way of using the period to generate conflicts.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. A large focus of the comic is on Elizabeth and Victor’s relationship. At the end of the day, do you think the two will find a way to be together? If so, how will they get over the scandal Elizabeth would face and the fact those around Victor want him to marry a titled woman? If you don’t believe they’ll find a way to stay together, what will stop them? Further, given the most recent events, how will Eric Wollstonecraft play a role in the future of their love story? How does the narration framing seen where Elizabeth is addressing her potential son affect your opinion? How do you think that future came about, and how soon will it come to pass? Last, what do you think of their relationship in terms of Elizabeth wanting to make her own choices in life?

mathtans

I ship Abhaya with everyone.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to say if theres one thing i appreciate its combination of progressive themes while at the same time acknowledging that the period was not the friendliest towards these things

especially in regards to how elizabeth is treated since her only purpose apparently to everyone is to get hitched to a titled guy

and i mean

thats depressing

yet also true to the period

even though we get to see elizabeth take a journey and reject those social conventions

in regards to the current question, i am choosing not to think about whether in the long term elizabeth and victor will get together for the rest of their lives. because if they dont i will cry but i could see this realistically being the case given the tone of the narration. cause that...does not sound like an elizabeth who lives in eternal happiness.

mathtans

Back, sorry. Yeah, I'm usually not much of one for period pieces, but I like the narrative viewpoint. Also, pretty neat airships.

There was the point where she talked about leaving Victor behind back in Chapter 1 (I don't recall the exact circumstances) but I wondered if it was because he causes her heartache, or just because it make their lives more complicated.

Incidentally, the first thing I thought of with the name "Lovelace" was Lady Ada Lovelace. The mathematician. Not sure if that was an intentional reference to another well regarded woman.

RebelVampire

i love period pieces but i think the steampunk aspects help twist it enough to make it a bit more unique.

mathtans

(I don't think the time frames synch up but I don't recall when the comic takes place...)

Oh, it's definitely unique. I like the gadget aspect too.

RebelVampire

i would not be surprised if the name choice was purposeful. if only because the comic has lots of strong ladies. i doubt well see any real historical figures though.

i appreciate that the comic actually kind of starts off with the airship escapade

cause it really showcases the ways in which their world differs

where you get airships

and sky pirates

mathtans

That's a good point. Helps with the world building before we get down into some of the classic period issues.

RebelVampire

yes. and i also kind of like it starts off more action-y. not that there isnt action bits later mind you. but more i think it helps set up the main conflict while tying in the romance. because it makes it so the romance isnt some forced subplot. rather its kind of integral and has as much to do with the whole highjacking as the rest of the story. since later on youll see that elizabeth's proximity to victor keeps bring that part of the story into the limelight

mathtans

That's a good point, in terms of tying things together. Also possibly sets up a key antagonist (or at least revenge plot) in that burned pirate lady.

RebelVampire

she does come back

i will spoil that much

mathtans

I figured she had to some time, whether it was by the present updates or not.

I've resumed reading a bit in the background. Seems like both the Watson ladies are doing their best to get arrested. ^.^

RebelVampire

well at least Abhaya is.

cause Abhaya is a risk taker who puts herself in many situations where people are gonna stop and stare

mathtans

Well, yes. But Elizabeth also seems to be taking risks where Victor is concerned. Or at least stepping out of her comfort zone.

Certain people have certain effects on us I guess.

RebelVampire

nah thats true. I just think Elizabeth just takes more social risks. Like not the kind that are gonna get her arrested, but more the kind that are gonna get her socially shunned.

whereas Abhaya is the punch one who is gonna get charged with assault

mathtans

That seems like a valid viewpoint. It fits with their personalities when we saw them in their youth.

The cutting back and forth between the two sisters in Chapter 3 is well done.

RebelVampire

yeah in general i like the PoV switching of the comic. because every scene is pretty well-chosen and advances the plot in some manner. and it lets us see others parts of the comic developing. cause later on you do get to see more of victor without elizabeth some and get to go "hmm" to all that hes up to.

mathtans

Ha! I like Chapter 3, page 31, where all the dialogue seems to fade out as Victor touches her. Cute.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Besides romance, there is a larger plot posing real and deadly danger to the characters. Who do you think the Angel is? What are the Angel’s goals, and why is she excessively targeting Victor? Further, what do you think the source of her power is? Also, what does have kidnapping people like Ambrose have to do with her goals? Alternatively, is Ambrose there of his own free will (and if so, why)? Considering Abhaya is being sought by Amabel for help, what do you think Abhaya will do? Will Abhaya be able to uncover more of the truth, or is Abhaya just going to get herself into more trouble? How will Abhaya’s involvement affect Elizabeth and herself? Last, can Amabel be trusted, or is it possible she’ll abandon Abhaya when Abhaya might need her?

spoiler Amabel is who I ship Abhaya with

mathtans

Related to those questions, I do wonder a bit if Victor has a sordid past or something. Like maybe his empire wasn't entirely built on the up-and-up... with his knowledge or possibly without it. So there could be a reason there for him to be targeted.

I've looked on the character page and I approve this ship.

RebelVampire

oh yeah. Victor is 100% definitely a scoundrel. There is one scenes that really hints at this, but even before that i agree with you. Victor is not on the up and up entirely. I don't think he made his fortune without cracking a few skulls.

although idk if this is what makes him a target persay

or maybe it oes

but more in the way hes done the forbidden when it comes to tech

mathtans

Was he totally aware of the repercussions of whatever he did though? Because the people around him seem to like to keep him in the dark.

brb

RebelVampire

im sure he knew the repercussions. the people around him are more about keeping him in the dark about romantic matters. cause as was implied by one of the questions later on you find out the main thing ppl arent telling victor is that elizabeth is just there to open him up to the idea of marriage so he can marry a titled lady

cause everyone is all about those titles

In regards to the current question while you're away, I think Abhaya will help Amabel and get herself caught and get into a whole mess of trouble that for once, Elizabeth will have to break her out of. But I think it'll be a dual sword cause I do think Elizabeth's relationship to both Abhaya and Victor is gonna put her in the crosshairs. cause like, what an easy way to get Victor to show up. Get Elizabeth, tell Victor you'll never see her again if you don't show up.

as for the angel's goals, I feel shes on a path of vengence against the entire world, but particularly victor cause hes high up there in the industrialist chain

and knows something she doesnt and that she needs to bring her plans to fruition

mathtans

Back. Okay, that does make sense, darn titles.

Interesting, this Angel talk. I wonder if it's the same "angel" we see in the title card for Chapter 2?

Sounds like you think it's not personal, the Angel's path, merely that Victor is a convenient figurehead.

RebelVampire

i mean the angel is kind of the one from the title card. those are her wings for sure, though she doesnt look quite like that the one time you meet her

it could be personal, but i feel like the angel just has bigger fish to fry

from the impression i got from her

since shes kidnapping a ton of ppl

and you dont need to kidnap ppl to your cause if all youre doing is hunting down some industrialist

who almost got caught

if not for abhaya and elizabeth

mathtans

Ah, so she's the one behind the disappearances then.

(Still reading in the background.)

RebelVampire

yes. i mean its pretty implied but you get confirmation later that yes its her. though you can definitely speculate on the why

cause i have no clue

shes still enigmatic

mathtans

Looking for a husband? ^.^

RebelVampire

shes reading the wrong romance advice book

when elizabeth and her meet, elizabeth will point her in the right direction

and the angel is like "oh wait so youre not supposed to kidnap them? huh?"

mathtans

And then we ship Angel and Elizabeth.

RebelVampire

no. ill ship Abhaya and Angel

Elizabeth and Victor are the OTP

i said but then was like "nah id totally ship Elizabeth with West"

mathtans

Heh. That's fair, they are the main couple. Though West is an interesting guy, just needs to learn social cues.

RebelVampire

nah thats why west is amazing

he doesnt know social cues

and is awkward

yet helpful

and hes the only dude of victor's who seems to be in elizabeth's corner

mathtans

Right. I think it was said that he's not used to the lifestyle?

RebelVampire

yes that is what he said

which makes me want a side chapter just about what he did before he came to victor

cause i dont feel like victor would just hire some rando. he must of seen something in west

mathtans

Maybe he took pity on the guy, something about the scar.

RebelVampire

that could be cause victor understands the burden of scars

or something like that

whereas i just think west's scar gives him character

QUESTION 4. Mixed in with the present drama is a lot of unsolved past drama. Who do you think Victor really is? What do you think happened to Victor based on Milo’s story that he was telling Abhaya? How do you think Victor managed to overcome this to become the person he is today? Also, what do you make of the room Victor seemed to have sealed off in his house? Besides Victor, there is also a lot of drama between Jules, Abhaya, and Milo. What do you think happened between the three of them that managed to damage their relationship forever? Will spending more time together heal their wounds, or is it impossible at this point? Further, what was Jules up to the whole time he was away with Victor? Last, what do you think Jules’ goals were for introducing Elizabeth and Victor, and why does he seem immensely conflicted about her presence?

mathtans

Sorry, biab

RebelVampire

kay

I think Victor was some fellow servant kid who was Jules' only friend after Jules got sent away. And then Victor almost died. Although I'm changing my previous speculations. Maybe the Angel is more literal and she literally showed up, saved Victor with tech with the promise to return, and then left. So now shes back for her comeuppance. Meanwhile, Victor decided technology was great and he needed to bring it to the world cause it was what would keep him alive and save others.

as for the three, at this juncture it seems pretty heavily implied Milo and Jules were in a relationship and that Milo called off the wedding to Abhaya cause he didnt want to live a lie in regards to how he felt about Jules. Regardless of the what, while Milo i feel will legitimately forgive and forget, I dont feel Abhaya or Jules will. Abhaya cause she doesnt seem the type to ever forgive ever. And to just hold onto her hatred and seethe. Jules in the meantime I think wont forgive until he gets revenge in some way. Cause the two probably betrayed his trust big time and he kind of got the most screwed over by what happened

i think Jules wanted them to meet for the exact reason that the others implied: they want Victor to warm up to the idea of women so he can get married. However, I feel Jules now feels like a jerk who is taking out his anger at Abhaya on Elizabeth who had 0% to do with what happened between the three. and yet he knows hes in too deep to turn back now.

mathtans

Could be that Victor was initially poor... in fact maybe he married into the company somehow? Could the Angel be his wife? o.o

I wondered about Milo and Jules. My initial thought had been that Abhaya had called off the engagement though, so that's an interesting other look at things.

Jules and Elizabeth were close too, back in the day. One wonders if he's that good at seeing how things play out long term.

RebelVampire

nah its definitely his company. but victor was probably poor. if only cause everyone calls him new money. so it means he has no predecessor parent who made their fortune.

Jules strikes me more as the type who things hes great at planning but really, really, really isnt

and then tons of consequences come about that he has to accept and deal with

mathtans

That makes sense and could explain the sympathy for West too, maybe he knows West even though it doesn't necessarily go both ways.

Yeah, Jules seems to think he's got everything well in hand but he doesn't seem to account for the human factor.

Made it to the end of Chapter 4/Act 1 now. Apparently the Angel kidnaps people to literally graft wings onto her spine. Ouch.

Interesting callback to Victor's wounded leg though.

RebelVampire

i think even more than the human factor, Jules is just bad at making plan Bs for when things do go wrong. then panics and makes bad decisions

like not telling victor the factory is in danger

mathtans

Maybe that thing that Victor has in the factory is a time machine. Turns out he's actually from the future, he brought back all the technology and that's why the Angel is after him, she thinks it's stolen.

You're not wrong there, about Jules.

RebelVampire

ya know...i can support this time traveler theory. i mean it doesnt quite fit considering flashbacks

but id 100% buy victor built a time machine

cause why not

victor is amazing

mathtans

Maybe his company is corrupt because they're still trying to get the patents.

RebelVampire

i mean

its a company

so its probably corrupt to some degree regardless

mathtans

That's also a good point.

RebelVampire

i mean i can point out the fact they want victor to marry a titled lady to be a form of corruption. cause thats just marrying someone to advance your social standing for the business

mathtans

I guess we're near the end... haven't said anything about the art yet. I suppose I like the shading, and I thought the sound effect use was clever.

Need someone to star in the commercials.

"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife loves this new device I call a roomba."

RebelVampire

i really love the clothes. i mean theyre simple, and yet all seem to fit within the period that this comic is trying to go for

but if they get a roomba what are the house wives supposed to do

not sit at home cooking and cleaning all day?

also about the art, i really love the steampunk designs. you can definitely tell the steampunk inspiration in them, yet theyre really unique and not really like any steampunk ive seen before

and i can for sure appreciate uniqueness

mathtans

Yeah, that's true. And there was that neat detail of the corset being laced up the front, I wouldn't have thought of that.

Uniqueness is good. I wonder what the machine connection will end up being.

With the whole "maiden of the machine" thing there. (Won't be a roomba, after all.)

RebelVampire

ah thats a good point as well. i loved that detail about the maid being able to tell elizabeth didnt have a maid

mathtans

Maybe Elizabeth gets upgraded too.

RebelVampire

the comic was about the angel all along

and the angel's victory

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up our final Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Caitlin Like, as well, for making Maiden of the Machine. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Caitlin Like’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://maidenmachine.com/

Caitlin Like’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/CaitlinLike

Caitlin Like’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/caitlike

Caitlin Like’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/caitlike

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #comic tea party #ctp #maiden of the machine #caitlin like

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leejh · 6 years ago

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!! mention one or more mutuals that come to your mind at first when you read the following words (per word): flower, angel, love, smile, laugh, chocolate, sweet, cute, gorgeous, bean !!

I get scared to do these but this was too cute to ignore ;-; may get long… yeah no, it will be long but here it goes

flower 🌻; @batao you’re the first I thought of! you’re just so hngg- your responses to everything are so cute & your theme, s o f t. sometimes you seem so delicate, not fragile, but just uhh soft, I want to pick you, water you & watch you grow into the beautiful flower you are ♡

angel 👼🏻; @lycheae you’ve always been so kind & patient w/ me /: literally such a kind person. if the package doesn’t reach you, I’ll send as many packages as needed until you get it when I get home because you deserve it! you’re also pretty quiet who just browses along, like an angel would. btw flora is such an angel like name, I love ;-;

love ❤; @shipping-that-assdick ash is just full of so much love. even when you’re going through your own stuff, you’re always there to comfort & love others, I really admire you for that. you give off very cool mom-ish vibes or like an older sister? & anyone close to you is lucky. the way you talk of others or tell your stories, I can feel your words carry so much genuine love & endearment, it’s so beautiful to experience that

smile 😆; @yummyyugyeommie whenever we sent each other asks you always make me smile so much, especially when you spazzed out about got7. when I was down, your asks/responses to mine felt so kind that I almost wanted to, no wait have, tear up. your old mustard hair colored yug icon alone made me smile, especially when you popped up in my notifs.. also hi, I missed you ): hope you’re well ♡ @ikon-on-my-hellevator-cactus when you were my anon I was like what a sweetheart even though I knew who you were since day two lol but then when you revealed yourself you were really passive aggressive about everything, I loved it. I think it’s because we’re different in some ways, you always made me smile because I felt apart of your world when you told me your rants or about how happy you are + you make me snort/smile so much because you were always ready to fight, cutee ^^

laugh 🤪; @calcifer-rose having you as an anon, oml- you caused me stress. I knew who you were though by like ask #3 ahsoka but yeah, you’re just so chill yk? you’re so cute in the chat too ;; I loved having you as an anon & as a friend @ifistoptherain I would’ve put you in all categories but you fit laugh the most. I was so scared to enter the chat but you made me laugh a lot & feel welcomed. getting a message from you always lights up my mood. you made me laugh when I was in my darkest moments. ty fath -btw you two are a mess, the weirdest 01 liners I met ahjska love ya

chocolate 🍫; @kiriyuin I dont like chocolate very much so… lol I’m jp. you remind me so much of chocolate because of your dark but aesthetic themes. you’re bitter yet sweet sometimes. bitter sweet love. well, our convos are, we talk some interesting shit, from anime to weird analogies of life o.o we need help. although I’m not a big fan of chocolate, I’m a fan of you ♡ lol you’re welcome to cringe w/ me

sweet 🍯; @yugyawns you’ve always been so sweet my banana milk rant friend. you’re just very soft okay, no matter what you say. I loved hearing about all your passions. you just always talked so kind me, I never felt intimidated to ask you smth stupid … love you & hope you’re doing okay pax ]:♡) @emounicornorstitch (you’re seriously the sweetest person ever like how?? ah I’m getting emo temy ): when I would disappear for a while & came back you always reassured me that it’s okay & no need to apologize TT & you always yell at me if I dont eat right, like a mom but way more adorable. you’re so caring. everyone needs a temy!!!

cute 💞; @cafebfs just cute really. your cute face had me screaming & you’re whole vibe just generates cute. your whole blog as well, just simply put, cute. you’re very ‘uwu’ as ppl would say, lol I just think you’re cute okay. I hope you’ve been doing alright, if not my in/askbox is always open!)

gorgeous 💫; @spearbe you’re so fucking gorgeous jess!!!! your cute little face & doe eyes, I cri TT perfect match for kookie, but besides being physically pretty, you’re so freaking beautiful in the inside. the way you treat your anons & mutuals- everyone needs to learn how to be pretty both ways from you~ my respect for you is high because you’re that special to me

bean 🌱; @pwark-jisung wholesome bean laura ^^ you already know how much I view you as a sweet little kid right? you’re an actual bean to me, such an adorable bean who should be loved by many so them haters can find me =.= sometimes you remind me of a cute little puppy because of how cute you are) @felixmahdork (my actual baby! you’re so smol even though we’re the same height (’: I cant believe I was ever intimidated by you?? because you’re such?? an adorable bean?? beans are cute & so are you, what a coincidence huh. ily

#anon #answered #hopefully the read more worked #someone tell me if it doesn't #wow i haven't done one in a while ;;#maybe i'll do the other one i received the other day #i just get scared to tag mutuals #because i don't want to bother you #it's weird ik #i'm weird #if you wanna be tagged #let me know pls

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bobalaloosa-simblr · 2 years ago

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I'm glad all is cleared up so that nonsense hate from players on tumblr against creators can please stop and i consider creators who didnt get into it and just ignored the whole drama did it right in waiting an official position about it and kept doing as always they deserve it.

In the end ppl arent fighting about getting the content or not but ppl are fighting about when they get the content i mean its like theyre suffering from general anxiety and want all content now like c'mon why not wait ? The problem itself is never publishing for free thats what is not fair. Now seems everyone have lost it and are being awful horrible ppl full of hate with their posts. Ppl who condemned and considered the doxxing some patreon creators did as unforgivable terrible act which IS are now just doing the same by doxxing preaccess creators with published lists and intimidating them to stop their preaccess when EA didn't have any official announcement as if in a couple days everyone had to know all the drama sh* was going on here again. Hello creators have life maybe they didnt even have the time to get the news and sit on it. This is bs now what no one asked about is who brought it up and why? Also some creators themselves went to support past days and got different answers and have printscreens of the convo and ppl dont wanna believe when that said preaccess still allowed.

The most hateful thing I've seen tho is posts full of sh* anger saying they dont give a damn about creators lives and struggles they just care about the content and money when many creators I follow for years have shared their personal stories and they're real ppl and many make living or at least buy their games with the income how can someone grab a cc and say that don't care about the creator life or burnout or cry because I read exactly this line "idc and dont give a crap about you cry or that you didnt sleep" and then have the guts to say creators only care about money? Thats greedy to the point of no return. I read hateful comments in creators patreons and things like "you're ignoring the new policy I'm gonna stop supporting you" like again who really just cares about money and content?

Seems everyone forgot about paywalled and aimed only on preaccess. Perma paywalls are the plague not the rest because as a creator said " you're not paying for the content its free you're paying for the time to get it earlier" and that's completely right. Again I'm glad it's over because it would cause an awful damage if good creators leave due to it and even paywalled ones I rather they exist than don't because it means they will keep releasing content that we will get anyways because it's pure stupidity from them thinking they can stop other ppl to get the paid content leaked sooner or later bruh.

I just wanted to share it and also say I'm really glad everything is solved and no one is jeopardized by whom never followed the rules is also nice from EA have a report channel.

The Sims Policy is updated and now includes early access as a way to recoup any costs the creator may had during the process. I hope this helps everyone!

Read through the updated version here:

https://help.ea.com/en/help/the-sims/the-sims-4/mods-and-the-sims-4-game-updates/

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heyitslapis · 6 years ago

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Ok let's see... its been about 3 weeks since i posted last, give or take a few days. And I'll just say its been an interesting and exhausting few weeks.

Still trying to completely get over my dumbf*ck feelings for Alex. I'm not really doing a super great job at that, and still get random depressive moments that last a varying amount of time, but usually i just push my pity party to the side after about 2 minutes.

On the 3rd of June, Alex went up to see part of her family and join them on a cruise to Columbia. She said wont be back until maybe the 3rd or 4th of July at the earliest. I kinda miss her, but I feel like spending a month physically apart from her will do me some good. Her and i still snap back and fourth to save our streak and to day good morning. Whenever she cant find wifi, she turns on her dad's personal hotspot so she can send me at least one snap to keep our streak rolling (we are the longest streak we have with anyone on our snapchats, and it stands currently at 261 days.) The day after she left the streak sorta died for the day, but she was able to save it cause she was in a different time zone.

Since she's been gone, we've hired several new people at work, many if which being new hosts (thank God tbh, cause this means after theyre all done training and get a couple weeks to get used to everything i can train as a server and hopefully make a little more money). One of them is Giovanni's sister (Gio is a guy that works there. Mostly does dish, sometimes hosts.) And apparently she likes me? About a week before she started they came in to eat with their mom and after they left Gio was like "Dude, i think my sister likes you."

Hey, some random girl actually has a crush on me for the first time in my life? That's cool! Right? It would be, if she weren't 17. If i were still 18 or 19, i wouldnt really care. But now that im 20, even though we only have a 2 year and almost 6 month age difference, i still feel like its weird. I feel like im in a whole new age threshold now that ive hit that 2 decade mark, and she just seems to me like a kid. Anyway, Sammy (thats her) is bi with a preference for girls. She's very forward about asking the girls at work about their sexuality (she'll be mid convo and just be like "wait; you straight?") She makes a hobby of flirting with the straight girls, because as she says it, she can easily flirt with straight girls bc she knows she wont have a chance. As soon as she knows theyre bi or gay, she cant even really talk to them. Sammy flirts with me in excess, has asked me 3 times if im straight, or if im sure that i am (homegirl has only been here like two weeks), and the reason why is because she would happily let me break her heart, and has said thats its too bad im not gay bc if i was she would let me crush her. Also has told me that i remind her of her ex girlfriend, and when i said idk if thats supposed to be a compliment or not, she said "well i really liked her, so..." Oh and btw all 3 times shes asked, I've told her im straight (yknow, bc im not out to the irl general public) and I'll just say that having to lie outloud about my sexuality does not feel that great. Thats not something ive ever had to verbally do before, and now i understand. Tbh i dont really lie, or at least i very rarely do, bc i dont like it, and i want to be seen as trustworthy. i have told my share of lies in my day, but i feel like that was in the top 3 worst lies ive ever told. Simply because i know thats not who i am, yet im saying it anyway.

Besides that, in these last couple weeks ive:

Gotten my computer hacked and almost got scamed out of the piddly $120 dollars total that is in my bank account for me to try to live off of until next Fridays paycheck, and almost got my brother's bank account hacked (looong f*ckin story. Short version, im a gotdang fool, and people are absolute bastards), so now i cant use my computer until i get it looked at, which means no art (sucks bc i wanted to draw myself a bi pride icon)

Put in 103 hours at work in the last 2 weeks

Had our only available car break down twice

Got about half of our kitchen painted. Still need to find time to finish it

Purchased tickets for a convention, and bought almost everything i need to finish my cosplay.

Have a sore in the back of my mouth thats been plaguing me for over a week (finally starting to heal. Its been hurting to do so much as talk, much less eat or drink)

Had to deal with everyone's attitudes at work (some sh*ts going on with the moon and everyones been a pissy ass lately, and im so over it)

The pain in the ass girl at work that we've been trying to get rid of for over a year called in and quit 15 minutes before her literal last shift (Father's day) and our proprietary manager told her "its bullshit that you just found out that your other job scheduled you to work today 15 minutes before you had to come here" and "dont try to come back to this store again". Im ecstatic about it tbqh and feel a small sense of victory about the whole thing.

One of my favorite gays from work had his last shift Saturday night and im still sad about it.

It may not seem like much but its just all around every other day something else small happened to add to the weird and crazy smorgasbord that is my life.

Also bless Sammy bc yesterday was Father's Day, and because of that, i was in the building of my work at 9:45am, started working to get set up at 10, opened around 10:50, and didnt stop until about 8:50pm, 10 minutes before we closed. Our proprietary manager bought us tons of pizza and snacks in the middle of our shift so that we could all take turns having a 10 minute breather, but other than that it was non-stop work and dedication to the customer. At 9:50am my brother went to the Duncan Donuts down the road from us to get the handful of morning people either coffee or bagels or whatever they asked for. I told my brother to get me the english muffin with egg and cheese, and if they had the option, to add sausage to it. Also to tell Sammy i said hi (because she works at that Duncan also, and was there yesterday morning). My brother comes back with breakfast, hands me my food and said that Sammy made it especially for me. (At that time i was also in a bad mood bc i was tired from working four open doubles in a row, and was stressed, so that really lifted my spirits a bit. The food, and the thought that someone made it especially for me.) And i'll just say she just earned my love for the next week at least.

Anyway i think thats all for now loves. I dont have a very eventful life, but i sure do have a busy one.

#my life #avatarkorvira speaks #poor sammy thinks im quote ''really cute'' and ''f*cking adorable'' and im kinda glad she thinks im straight #like her second night training with me she asked how old i was and when i said 20 she said ''damn''#then later when i asked her age (even though i alreadu knew she was 17) she refused to tell me specifically #like shed tell anyone else (including my sister) but not me #and you see at work with certain people ill be like playfully flirty with them just as one of the many ways i show friendliness #like i do it to alex and heather and marissa and molly and several others. but theyre all adults #i know for a fact sammy is a minor. so i told her im not gonna make crude or flirty jokes with her and she doesnt like that #also i just realized that i only joke flirt with girls at work #mostly thats just because im more comfortable with the gals. that and every guy there is either annoying or nasty #and i wouldnt be able to interact with them that way without them making it really gross or thinking im actually hitting on them #and if i ever truely hitting on any of the guys at work someone smack me in the back of the head bc ew #alex #sammy

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tayegi · 7 years ago

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im crying not only bc of your amazing writing, but bc i was scrolling thru my dashboard and i saw you answering all these asks about new rules and i’m so dump thinking that you set up new rules or sthg, i didn’t understand it so i read all those asks and fucking spoiled myself kmp, but on another note yOU FUCKING ROCK OMG NEW RULES IS SO AMAZING I LOVE IT 💘💘💘

Anonymous said:I'M LOVING NEW RULES SO MUCH just wanted to show my support. i love your writing in general don't get me wrong but new rules is messing with my heart and it's amazing

Anonymous said:Hi! I just read both parts for "New Rules" and I loved them! If this goes in the same direction as Dua Lipa sings (I guess it will) it sounds like it'll be very interesting. I love how everyone in the story is human, not just good or bad, you know? 90% of fics would've made Mijoo the stereotypical barbie bitch, but you didn't and I was pleasantly surprised! I also feel very identified with the OC. I really want her to open up and discover who JK really is, whoever that is. Keep up the good work!

jabaelashit said:Hey! i already wrote you a message on one of your posts but i just wanted to say that i am feeling so skabakks right now, I can't stop thinking about new rules and i'm torn between crying or crying but w angsty. I hope oc learns her worth and can understand she's just as amazing as mijoo, even better if we're talking about morals but oh well people fuck up:( I'm glad she forgave her but I hope she distances from her cause that gurl ain't having the same respect for the friendship as oc/1

jabaelashit said:and i also hope she gets to tell jimin her feelings not to like make him break stuff w mijoo, but to let him know she hadnt seen the note and to release some pressure and feelings cause oc bottles up so much and i just want to go and hug her and don't leave her until she understands shes fucking badass and cool and that the way she thinks is 👏👏👏 lu you've made me feel such a diverse amount of emotions i don't know what to do w myself anymore, your writing is amazing! love love loove you❣/2

Anonymous said:Hey!!:) idk if this is the right place to send compliments cause im really new to tumblr but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR FICS. Tbh I'd buy it if you published a physical compilation;)

Anonymous said:Wow for the longest time I was searching your old username; idek why cause I’ve known you changed your username and have been keeping up to date with you LMAO this is what being sick and delirious does to me. ANYWAYS! Hope you’re not too down with the crazy anons your story is great and I’m thankful for the dynamic characterizations you create! It makes it so much more interesting cause you create many characters with depth!!

Anonymous said:Can I please just have your writing talent? The OC is just so real, and that moment when she's deciding what to do with Mijoo, and what she actually says at the end.... I can't actually put my thoughts into words. I'm legit stunned by the sheer amount of emotions I felt reading the second chapter. I genuinely adore the banter between JK and OC, I personally prefer people to be more direct with what they want, so I already appreciate them, but also Jimin's convo with OC... (1/2)

Anonymous said:Jimin's convo with OC... Idk about these other anons going off on Mijoo, I was more thinking 'why didn't Jimin chase the note?' and then he would have had his answer then and there. But that might have just been me... And also, thinking back to it now, when JK said 'I need you' and OC repeated it back to him like super softly, like she was surprised oh god, okay, my heart is breaking even more for OC now, idk if I'm reading too much into it. I love you Lu, I hope you're well, and happy! (2/2)

Anonymous said:I love your fics so much!! The sass is real esp with jungkook 😂

Anonymous said:Anyways do ya thang hunny ✨ Keep wrecking me with your writings 💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨💞✨😩

Anonymous said:Read part 1 of New Rules and was like yeah thisll be fun, I'll have a great time. Then I read part 2 and ended up shedding some real tears at the end?!?! LU WHAT THE...... But really though its so nice to read a fic where the OC values friendship. The idea that its always girls against girls makes me sad.. we should be sticking together!!

Anonymous said:so... surprise surprise, dis gon be about new rules 😂 but I really wanted to thank you for adding so much of the oc's inner dialogue, and making her such a character in the first place. a lot of fics do not portray ocs with more defeatist attitudes, but yours does and I was glad, because I could finally relate to a fic :) also, coming back to the inner dialogue thing, it was so in depth that i could really feel what the oc was feeling, what she was going through. it was amazing ❤️ thank you!

Anonymous said:Man this is one hell of a good fic i’m highly anticipating the next chapter!!! Even though it seems like traditional frat fuckboy x ‘i hate frat bois but ye i’d fuck u’ type of girl it still is in a way a little different i just can’t quite catch how but nonetheless it’s amazing!!! Keep up the good work babe

oceanjoon said:ok so ur newest fic new rules literally is so real n relatable !! like honestly i understand seeking physical comfort in people u dont care about wen u r feeling down/insecure to validate urself n it just rlly hit home

kyarybunny said:Lu. At this point I have so many compliments to give you I can't really form it all properly. But I really am enjoying New Rules and this plot you're breathing life into! It's a different facet of your writing and I love how you can interpret every character's actions in a few different ways. Thank you for continuing to write and I hope you enjoy writing as much as we do reading/analyzing.

Anonymous said:Istg when I read the new chapter of New Rules I clenched my fist like that Arthur meme when it came up to the part about mijoo and the note. Girl got me heated lol. As usual, your works do not disappoint! I love your wittiness and how it shines in your writing. The remarks and dialogue in all of your series really proves your talent. You’re truly a gem amongst fanfic writers 💕☺️📢

Anonymous said:i was happily reblogging a few things on my dash and ch1 of new rules just came and i started reading WHERE THE FUCK DID I GET MY ASS INTO???!!!???!?! IT'S FUCKING AMAZING i don't know why i didn't start reading before. don't you ever dare stop writting, you're such a good writter and i enjoy your works very very much

Anonymous said:OC DESERVES HAPINESS JUST AS MUCH AS MIJOO. OC SHOULDVE PUT HERSELF AND HER HAPPINESS BEFORE HER FRIEND'S BECAUSE SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF THEM DJFJFJ i hope one day jimin finds out about her feelings :(

Anonymous said:new rules just keeps getting better and better 😻😻

Anonymous said:Wow.. Okay.. I do believe chapter 2 of New Rules has officially ruined me. My heart was actually beating so fast through out the whole chapter, and it's still racing now too. I've thought this multiple times while reading your fics, but you're writing really is incredible. Your characters and the way you describe their emotions is so unbelievably relatable that the reader can't help but be sucked in. I always find myself becoming invested in your characters! Thank you for all the adventures!

Anonymous said:I felt so bad for the OC this chapter ;.; If I were in her position, I'd probably do the same since causing a scene is yes, immature and not worth the energy. But, if i could be a character in New Rules I'd probably be the other best friend who'll be like "guurl, confront her ass it isnt an excuse just because she's your friend." All in all I see the OC as the kind of person who'll go out of their way to care for someone to the point of disregarding their own feelings, which is unhealthy :( (1)

Anonymous said:(2) but thats what makes her such a relatable character. I really, really like that in your OCs. This is probably the second OC i emotionally relate to, first is Copper Girl. But yeah I'm just distracting myself from assignments lol this series is amazing and just you are amazing Lu!!!! ily!!!!! PS. Jungkook is still agsjshskll he's cocky but with OC he's quite vulnerable. I wonder why? Is it just a front or does he have other intentions?

Anonymous said:alternative ending to new rules: mijoo and mc are over their respective boys, does not bother to get into any messy scenarios like that ever again, love each other and support each other and is forever the friendship that everyone envies anD I HATE THIS SITUATION SO MUCH GODDAMMIT LU!!! UR REALLY TRYING TO TEAR MY HEART APART!!

marchxseptember said:OH MY GOD CHAPTER TWO IS UP. I HAD A FEELING SO I HAD TO CHCK UR ACC AND I WAS RIGHT. BRB GONNA READ

marchxseptember said:AND THE PLOT THICKENS. I JIST FINISHED READING CH. 2 AND I AM FUCKED UP. I HAD A THEORY BEFORE BUT NOW I HAVE LIKE 2 MORE IM CONFUSED. I LOVED IT SOOO MUCH. AND I HATE MIJOO NOW. I CANT WAITT TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. THIS WAS SO GOOD LU.

omg the amount of response ive gotten for new rules is unbelievable. I dont think ppl were even this into equilibrium. the last time u guys acted like this was during the golden boy trilogy and it really feels so good to have this again.

thank you all for your thoughtful messages and for giving this ridiculous little fic a chance. I love you all

#new rules #keehyung #lu answers

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pkmnsdarkqueen · 7 years ago

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Johto!

(My home girl’s region! :D)

1. Which starter would I pick?-This is like Sinnoh but instead of me adoring them all my reaction is more,‘eh, alright.’ Out of them all I always end up going with Cyndaquil no matter how many times I tell myself Im gonna choose someone else. Idk, maybe it’s the eyes and the part of me that cosplays Italy can’t get over them. X3

2. Favorite Evolutionary line/pokemon?Ok when it comes to Johto there are alot of pokemon in it that I forget are from Johto. It’s partially due to there being few complete lines in this region, which is something that can’t be fixed now. However houndoom and houndour hold a special place in my heart. They most closely resemble my own dog, and it combines my two favorite types. Idc if it’s a mainstream choice, this is one line that is amazing. 👌

3. Least favorite evolution/pokemon?-Sunflora. Hands down because it ever so greatly triggers me. See my favorite flower is a sunflower. When I heard there was a sunflower pokemon I flipped in joy. I saw sunkern’s adorableness and gushed. When it evolved I adored the happy attitude. Then I found out how much it sucks in battle and felt my heart get crushed. When I say bad it has one of the worst stats in the whole series, and I know my muse is Karen, so yes I know her quote about fighting with your favorites, but when your favorite looses to a top percentage rattata it’s time to get a new favorite. Also they missed the chance to make a fire grass type. ;_;

4. Favorite gym leader/elite four?-Alot of the gym leaders in this region left an impression, and really interacted with the player. However Jasmine, and her precious pure self always makes me smile. I mean c'mon she’s one of the only people we’ve seen nickname their pokemon. Plus she calls it Amphy, like how a kid calls a teddy bear ‘teddy’. Then at the same time she also commands a giant metal snake that can snap you in half with one good hit. Bless this girl. Ok this next one I maybe a lil bias but um, Karen, duh. X3 Dark type was my favorite long before Karen came along, and btw I never played the original gold and silver so it took me awhile to meet her. When I saw her in the game and heard her quote I was like,“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? WHY DIDN’T I GET TO INTERACT WITH YOU AT ALL IN THIS GAME!? HOLY FUDGE! You’re like…woah…” It was that same sense of awe I got when first meeting Cynthia though this chick had more edge. Then I found out about her crimminal side and I am sold on her as my favorite for eternity.

5. Favorite town/city?-Blackthorn, and half of the reason is due to that name. When I played HGSS I was going through my warrior cats phase and so this nake was everything. Tbh it still sounds like such an amazing name for a town. I mean it’s intense, causes emotion, and makes the place seem intense. Which it is. I mean it’s in the mountains, you have to scale a cliff to leave, and there is a cave called the den of dragons that has dragons. Can you imagine telling people that’s where you grew up!? Just introduce yourself as the person from Blackthorn and watch people awe over it, you win life bud.

6. Favorite non-town/city location?-Hint it’s a tower. No not the bell one, I’m talking the burned one. Idk why but exploring abandoned or grungy places is so much fun to me! It’s like an adventure, and you never know what could be in there! (Lol like legendary doggos x3) Plus this place is like falling apart and has all of this history! I would go nuts researching and taking in the details of the place! Finally I know some people hate the smell of campfires but it’s my favorite thing ever, so any burned wood smell would be like a bonus.

7. Side mechanic that distracted me from the main game.-The pokewalker was up until I accidentally washed it a week after getting the game. Yeah, lost an eevee that day. Anyway by far the pokeathalon sucked my attention away more than any other side mechanic in any other game. I loved that place cause it could make my wimpy pokemon (like Sunflora) great, and my already strong pokemon stronger. Also I believe it was the flag capture that I struggled the most with. Took me literal hours but I finally beat the record there and felt such victory getting to the final room.

8. Would I punch the main antagonist in the face?-I’m not gonna count Giovanni cause he wasn’t really a part of this except being someone they were trying to get back in the crew. As far as the antagonists go there’s four of them which makes it a bit harder. Also like I said they were just trying to get the band back together, it wasnt like they were going to destroy the world like alot of the other villians. So like the last one, if it was in the moment yeah I’d try to apprehend them, and punch if necessary. Though I wouldn’t say too much was at steak for anything too extreme. Also post game I think just talking to them all individually would be good. Not in a therapist way just a casual convo might go a long way.

9. Would I punch my rival in the face?-I probably would of tried to multiple times. Sorry Silver but stranger or not you stole a pokemon and broke a wall of someone’s prolerty. That’s kinda illegal. After kicking your butt in battle I’d try to arrest you. I mean if Elm later said it was chill, said you were free to keep the pokemon, and you two worked out some deal for the wall then I’d be cool with it. However knowing myself I would be focused on righting said wrong until it was handled. I mean maybe we’d befriend each other somehow while I’m nailing his face, but even then I’d encourage him to go handle the situation.

10. Rating of the game 1-10?….I am sorry Sinnoh fans but 8. Look, this isn’t nostalgia talking. I never played the original games so if anything I ought to have more nostalgia with Sinnoh. However I don’t because when it comes to games I look for story. Johto just felt as though it had a more complete story. The characters were engaging, and I could relate with them. There were so many quirks and twists that made it feel unique. Yeah ok the pokemon designs lack in evolutions, and style, but I prefer story to design. No the whole world wasn’t at steak. In all honesty the villians were more brutish than they were intimidating. Though I could follow their reasoning, and in some ways rooted that things did work out somehow for them. Plus the ties of different families with Clair & Lance, Janine & Koga, Silver & Giovanni, were all elements I enjoyed seeing. (Then there’s all the ones in the manga that I found out about later). It made the region seem more personal and tied together. Plus who didn’t love the calls from your mom, trainers, and yes even Joey. Though slightly repetitive it all helped bring the player into the world, and I love seeing that.

(Dont get me wrong though, we need another Sinnoh game first, then maybe a Unova or Kanto would be good.)

(And @evolutionexpert , tbh Elm is my favorite prof so nice. 👌 )

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monolid-monologues · 5 years ago

Text

this dream about you ruined my morning. LOL. (& how do you retell a dream? especially an embarrassing one?)

when: last night slash this morning. [that’s today, Thursday June 27th]

it was one of those *you wake up and know you left an intense dream* *go back to sleep because this fucker of a dream needs an ending*

i could almost call it a nightmare, if based purely on the harrowing and very real physical toll it had on my body when i really got up from it.

I re-woke to my second and Emergency alarm (that’s the “get the fuck up now bitch go straight to work do not pass go do not pick up an eyeshadow brush do not eat breakfast get your headass into the car and maybe you won't be viciously tardy”) and my ANKLES WERE LITERALLY SORE?? my head pounding something Awful. And like my chest. Felt such a bitch. Stiff, contracted, and dry.

you ever been like HUNGOVER from a dream????

* * *

i don't want to call it a nightmare, though, because it was about you.

And you were/are not a nightmare. lol. You just...happened. and it passed.

What this is, Is: i had this dream about you, and i fucking hated it LOL

IT’S A FIRST. AND I NEED TO PROCESS IT . BECAUSE i dont get it. i don’t get why i had it. i am so caught off guard by it. i am scared of it. i am scared i even had A dream of you.

and i refuse to let it just bury inside me. i’m going to claw this thing out and take a good mfkin look at it.

OKAY. now that that’s established...

(ugh.... it feels like i’m about to embark into some bitter medicine.)

* * *

we ran into each other...in an apartment?

I was in the living room with my “friends” in the dream A.K.A obscure, obscure acquaintances whose faces i cannot place or recall.

and like any good dream, out of the god damn blue, comes trawling through a pack of Your friends. or family. or both. and your own face hazily blurring by in the mix. headed thru the nearest hallway, towards one of the bedrooms.

I catch your brother's face (i never even met your brother before lmfao) most crystalline clear among them. and he is the one who stops to meet me as the rest shuffle away.

I immediately recognized him (from pictures. i'd seen pictures IRL), we strike introductions, and conversation. i remember saying "you're his brother!" and other incredibly facile but in that moment in that dream very genuine sentiments. but still we can cringe at how unrealistic and un-grounded in reality they were. things like " i always knew i'd like you" (what the fuck, right) and "wow why does it feel we’ve already met (what the fuck. LOL.) and if we CAN ignore the DELIRIOUSNESS of my REM concoction here, i'd like you to accept with suspension of belief that me and this stranger, me and your brother, did become - in this dream moment - effortlessly chummy. We became instinctively on each other's sides (it still sounds delirious. damn it. Don't share your dreams willy-nilly, folks, it is not smart to expose your fucking dumbly vivid irrationales lol).

We were getting on like old fuckin friends, what the fuck can i say. It's the fictional truth.

Then our convo gets to the Grit. The punch in the gut. he tells me you're here. in this apartment. of course i could’ve put that together but the confirmation is CONFIRMING. Palpable - the settling in of the fact that you and i were..both..here.

A many-voltage shock. and i only snap out of it, and the frozen moment only melts back to action when i feel you feel that same shock. And right away, i "hear"...or was it "see"?....your presence / energy dash out of the bedroom in which you and your group were in. And you lock yourself into the bathroom.

A collective "what the hell" is shared between me and my new-but-old dreamworld friend. your brother. We step past the bathroom you are now occupying. We enter the bedroom. I see the rest of your peoples. Once again, Faceless peoples. i don't know that any of these were REAL peoples, any of your actual peoples in real life. Dreams! what're you gonna do?

Me vs. your peoples, though. It starts as awkward. Your brother tries to smooth things.

I remember warmth starting to emerge. I'm sure I wanted warmth, and since it was my dream, probably i manipulated events to make it so. I am keeping that in mind about this dream from start to finish, by the way. My brain manufactured all of this. Why? Fuck Me if i want to know. honestly.

But without knowing why, i still saw the What. (& this whole entire What gave me a serious kink in my neck this morning, like i never even know what a kink was until i got up and groaned.)

The What, at this point, after me and this room begin to warm up to each other: I mean, its only appropriate in such a dream that we land on the next Gut punch. The next revelation. (the brain sure knows who to TELL A STORY. DAMN.)

They tell me that..... FUCK, pause. Pause. PAUSE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO SAY THIS. WRITE THIS. ADMIT TO THIS.

ugh how else can i say this without causing every internal organ in my body to cringe in unison and threaten whole bodily shutdown for the entirety of the time it takes for my parts to Un-Cringe themselves. i could die.

i wish to die.

i won't die. let me continue. *deep breathe*

They tell me that you want me back.

Oh my god i want to laugh and cry and barf at the same time - me in real life, me now - not me in the dream. Well maybe me in the dream. But speaking from the conscious VERY-NOT-ASLEEP P.O.V of my self at present, it really hurts to say that because...i dreamed that. I can't believe i dreamed a dream in which you say "you want me back".

I cringe because you, and me, might think oh, that's what she secretly wants.

No. It. Is. Not. And i know this, but you can't, unless i tell you outright like this "I DON'T". and even then, because of this dream, i may be relinquishing my right to protest that contention. "Well clearly your deep inner psyche is saying different blah blah wah wah" says the PSEUDO-SCIENTIST IN US ALL. Whatever, that was exhausting, lol, i said what i said and i dreamed what i dreamed.

If you *are* *asking* *me*, i will tell you with incredibly clear eyes: no, i didn't dream you saying that because it was what i wanted. i don't know why i dreamed that, but how about i get to the end now, before we jump to more conclusions:

i hear that, and - what magically appears? A piece of paper, with old feelings written..no, scrawled.. all over it. There's blank space near the end.

There's a collective agreement that you are not coming out of the bathroom anytime soon. Is it a red flag to Dream Me that you are HIDING IN THE FKN BATHROOM? LOL NO.

in fact i think Dream Me thought it was cute. "aw he's shy" rather than "what the fucking coward".

Oooo. Was that harsh. and i oop--

I begin to write my "current" (quotes to remind you this IS THE RE-TELLING OF A DREAM, A NON-REALITY!!!) feelings. surprisingly, they were a smidgen closer to my actual feelings today, but still, it was a dream, and my REM brain is setting me up for some happy ending i think. So what do i write? I write something along the lines of "i don't want to be together but i did miss you and i do want to kiss you".

loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool throw tomatoes at me NOW.

MOVING ON: I remember the room is now crackling with hope, and optimism, and your peoples are cooing "how cute" (which is hilarious in hindsight because this is not cute at all, it is very very weird)

and then the vibes get *~*~dramatic~*~ for a pinch: a confession from your brother: -this part i'm dead ass even as ludicrous and irrelevant as it seems-

he says to me: “i know he said i'm his brother, but i'm not. Actually, he's the brother. *points to a faceless figure* and i'm the good friend.” and it was like one of those soap opera revelation moments. I don’t know why.

Why does this detail...?? matter??? appear?? Well let me add that, it was like...so familiar. this "uncovering" of a lie. REAL QUICK I'm not saying the man in question is a liar. that’s NOT it at all. I suspect the familiarity lied in my past experiences of feeling "not let in" or "held at a distance”. & I was doing my own damn lying, to myself. I was doing my own emotionally irresponsible business. /ending that there.

Point is, the "confession" was unnerving and it was almost like an omen. Like WHY Would you lie about something like that??? I couldn’t understand it!

But did i still want to leave this note?

And i, in the dream, did. still want to. So I give up the note to your peoples with intentions of it reaching you.

But of course, before i can leave, You come pummeling in.

I guess you were done with your really long shit or you were tired of hiding.

But the way you came in, i remember this motion picture vividly: you don’t greet me, you make a beeline straight past me, you insulate yourself behind your peoples, and your energy feels incredibly apprehensive. like you’re on Defense. Like someone’s come to attack you. Like what? And i’m so confused and so uneasy that i can’t wait to leave, without even wanting a word from you. This, the same person who wants me back they say? This, the same person who I called on for “a kiss” (UGHAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!)

Your brother-turned-friend hands you the note.

I see that you got it.

I see you paw it, and start to look at it.

I feel an edge of regret but i let it be. what i wrote reflected how i felt, i affirm with myself.

and i leave

but while walking out, i’m already reconsidering: "okay it reflected how i felt, before i personally contacted THAT energy, his energy, his avoidance, his marked apprehensiveness"

and i storm back

when you were just about to dig into it

and i snatch it from your hands

but you held on and

in my determined snatching, i rip back the bottom half as you stare at me and shred the rest of it yourself. shred the half that remained in your hands into tiny ugly pieces.

like shrapnel, and it flutters around you, and your stare is intense, and intact, and i wonder if this was satisfying to you.

i burst out of that room, so angry, so fucking disturbed that you could've read something nice but i didn't want you to read something nice.

No, i was so dissatisfied by the non-greeting, the haphazard waltzing and pacing in the room for the brief moments we shared space,

i was vengeful

i tore the "something nice" before you could receive it.

And then I was horrified by the way you let the rest of it rip up in your hands and disappear like the rest of it (the part i'd taken back).

* * *

I got jumped by my own dream. HOW DID IT -- I--

I mean. What a load of Holy Hell.

And i still, resist, calling it a nightmare, because,

that's not accurate to how i actually remember you.

I remember you fondly.

and the most stressful part of when i look back at our time together

wasn't even you.

i always, even at the low points, felt a really deep joy from being around you.

The most stressful part when i look back was who I was then.

From where i stand now, i look back and shake my head the most ferociously at who i was, how i was, and what i was missing. what i needed. what i wasn't making sure to get.

have i forgiven Myself?

maybe that's why This Dream.

//////

AN AFTER THOUGHT: perhaps what is truly horrifying about this dream is 1) how childish it was. 2) why the fuck did i have a dream about you like @brain that was so uncalled for bruh

////

Edit: An afterthought 24 hours later= My impulse was to recount this dream in detail. I belabored this account, everything i could possibly remember about it, in addition to belaboring that though this DOES seem significant, it DOES NOT mean i still have the same feelings for this mf.

Now i am able to revisit it, in all its cringe detail glory. I have a lot more perspective on why this dream, and what it might mean to me. WOW the power of writing.

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nomothetic · 6 years ago

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Love Always

Dear Bo,

I'm so sorry...

I've tried to think long and hard about what to do, but I can't find any other remedy and I'm desperate for a remedy. Maybe I'm not thinking straight. Maybe my thoughts cloudy my judgement. Maybe the tears are a distraction. My head hurts from them, too. They keep streaming uncontrollably down my eyes, reworking the paths of other tears that kept me up all night. They also didn't let me think clearly earlier and now I have bloody, cut knuckles from punching a door repeatedly. Im uncontrollably shivering. I can't stop fucking shivering. Like if my body thinks something is wrong or better said: knows something is wrong. Yh.

I've talked a lot about always being there for you no matter what and now I'm an asshole for reeling my words back in. To be fair though, I didn't think it was a lie. MY words were meant as a promise. They were good intentions, I still see them as good intentions, but maybe words don't mean anything. Maybe my words vanished in the cold, winter winds. Maybe my heart didn't say them loud enough. MY love is a different story though. I love you and its engraved in my head, in my heart, in my journey. Nothing will change that and I know because I've tried. Oh ok.

Fate is a weird toy. I love this post I see all the time that says that even having some form relationship with someone, small as can be, is a probabilistic act of fate. It's true cause I walk through crowded streets all the time and there are so many people that I will never connect with. I will never build a bond or share a laugh or try to comfort them or make fun of or share an experience with any of them. On the other hand, I did do that with you and I had a blast may I add. Idk maybe.

I can't choose favorite memories. Memories are snowflakes. They end up clumping up like a snow ball. Each individual snowflake is beautiful and unique, but you end up grabbing the whole ice ball hardly admiring each one. There's one snowflake that stands out and I don't even know why. You were tired, as always may I add. But you let me hp you anyway and we talked for a while and the convo died down, but you didn't want to leave. So I jokingly said we could take a nap, a siesta. You layed down on your bedroom floor cause you are quirky and didn't want to lay on the bed and we just layed there in silence. I put a timer and when the timer was about to run out I would add an extra minute. It was peaceful. Sometimes I would open my eyes and I would see you looking back and other times your eyes were closed shut. You were always pretty in my eyes, but this calm made you even more gorgeous. You probably don't even remember this. Funny how memory snowflakes work. To some, the symmetry designs on snowflakes are perfection and to others, they dont even think about the snowflakes. They were simply there when you needed a snowball. "?"

I can't talk to you without bringing up your events. Those stories that marked and scarred you. That was my first heartbreak. Seeing someone I cared so much about be mistreated, lied to, manipulated. I didn't know the world was such a shitty place. I was oblivious. You trusted their lies, you cared when they were being selfish. I still don’t trust them. I know they were hard times for you, but I don't think you have ever thought about how they made me feel so I'll tell you. You never wanted to say in the beginning but I basically forced it out through trust. When you told me what happened the first thing I went through was always sadness. I'd think to myself, "What did she do to deserve this?". I’d cry. I also got angry a lot. I blocked the assholes on instagram even if they didn't have anything to do with me. Then I'd pray to God. I would always ask him to stop your harm. I would ask him to protect you because I noticed I couldn't do it alone. I would ask him to hurt me instead. Maybe he heard. Wdym

This message jumps to different topics through each paragraph. These paragraphs are connected in one main way though: they have a weird ending. These endings are my one and only complaint about you. These words broke me, Bo. These words formed cracks in my heart; slowly, painfully. I have a feeling that you knew what you were doing when you wrote them. I don't even know what would be worse though: if you knew or if you didn't. Every time I saw these words I'd get angry. I didn't feel that I deserved them. You gave me a cold shoulder with these words, you pushed me away and your timing was impressive. Every time I wanted a sweet message from you- I don't know maybe saying I was important or a good person, you'd send me one of those messages. You acted so innocent- slowly chipping my relationship away. Knowing you, you'll probably get upset by this. You'll think it was never your intention, but don't worry. I know you have good intentions at heart. We can't help hurting others sometimes. Don't be upset at me please. You'll forget about it quickly enough. You'll be happy when the time comes. Tomorrow you won't even think about it. Just a small bump in the road.

We can't choose who makes us happy. You didn't end up choosing me and I don't think I would have willingly chosen you, but I did. Thanks for that though. You helped me grow as a person and I learned some very valuable experience. I love you and because I mean it this message had one original purpose and it was to try to make you grow. I want peace and I want you to learn. I want this to be a wake up sign. Care for people who care for you. Don't force care from those who don't. Love yourself before anyone else even if its hard. Don't let anyone bring you down. Don't change your ways just to please someone else. You can be who you truly are and still be loved. If a person tries to change you, think whether or not you want to. Don't succumb to dumb feelings and always know you are in this world because you are loved. You have a reason to be here.

I have to go, Bo. I need to take a step away. So I've deleted you on snapchat, unfollowed you on insta, blocked you on whatsapp and I deleted hp. I can't take the pain anymore :( and I'm so goddamn tired of being mad at you. I'll probably come back and it will be up to you to accept me or not. I don't think I would let me back in and that’s okay. This message is meant to be nice (I know, hard to believe), but the message can prick like a thorn and I'm apologetic for that. I had to let my feelings out in one way or another. Please focus on the good parts though because there is love and good intention in there. Maybe you haven't even seen it before. Please focus on the good parts. I repeat I don't regret meeting or having a connection with you, but nothing gold can stay and that's life. Flowers wither down. The sun sets. Monkey onesies get replaced by polar bears. So yeah: enjoy your holidays, enjoy your friends, enjoy your crush, enjoy your family. I love you sloth and you will always have a place in my heart I promise.

Im so sorry... Diego

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go-go-ghost-ship · 8 years ago

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Ok,a couple people requested I post the stuff I wrote up about my thoughts on the current Gunnerkrigg pages, so here it is. Be warned it’s kind of ramble-y and sloppy and probably a bit repetitive at times, but I originally wrote this just because I couldn't stop thinking about it and needed to get it out of my head. So, here you go, and feel 100% welcome to talk to me about it, whether you agree or not.

(Be warned, it IS like 3 pages long lol)

Gunnerkrigg Court thoughts, March 10th 2017 Chapter 61: Page 13

ok I need to get these out so i stop thinking about it lol

i think this is a good conversation for the characters to have, and I think from Red’s perspective it does sort of make sense. However, I feel like Red’s complaints aren’t entirely accurate here? (Note: points 1 and 2 are basically one giant combined point but oh well) 1. She’s acting like Annie forced her friends to do this, as if they dont have any free will of their own. Now, the two fairies were last minute recruits for the mission, but the other four were all pretty personally invested in the mission. It wasn’t just Annie’s mission at this point; it was also Kat’s, and Smitty’s, and Parley’s. Most of them had pretty personal attachments to this mission as well; Parley after the whole Coward Heart incident, and Kat because of the whole Diego/creator angle. I can’t think of one for Smitty, but he likes to help people out and he’s a medium himself, I’m sure this was something he WANTED to do as well. And I keep forgetting Robot was there with them since he only showed up for a brief period of time, but obviously we all know he’s invested in Jeanne. They’ve all been planning this for years, and they knew the dangers. We don’t really know at this point how well Annie warned the fairies how dangerous it would be, but I’m sure she gave them some warning, plus they HAVE met Jeanne before back when they met Annie for the first time. Also, if we’re going to blame whoever got everyone else involved in the mission, then along that line of thinking the blame should be on the Psychopomps, who asked Annie (a CHILD) to help. 2. The others chose to participate, had been helping to plan this mission for YEARS, and most had personal investments in the mission: Yeah, maybe the others getting involved was Annie’s doing, but like I said, most of them had a personal investment in the mission, and they all CHOSE to participate. Plus, we’ve already had a chapter about how Annie shouldn’t keep everything to herself, and that it can be good to get other people’s help (her convo with Jones during the control tower arc). Maybe she should’ve told the adults, but like I’ll say in another point down below, the Court is the reason Jeanne is down there in the first place. To tell someone loyal to the Court would’ve compromised the whole mission, and I think everyone’s agreed that it’s not right for Jeanne to be trapped down there against her will. There are a couple people they could trust, like Kat’s parents, Jones, and Eglamore, but I doubt any of them would've been okay with the kids doing this. I guess you could argue about whether or not they should’ve done this whole mission in the first place, and maybe they shouldn’t have, but 1) this IS a story, and they’ve been setting this up for a while, of course they’re gonna do it lol, 2) they’re trying to do what they think is right, and although we don’t know what the consequences of freeing Jeanne are just yet, I think we can all agree that it wasn’t right or fair what the Court did to Jeanne 3. Red’s acting like Annie wasn’t taking the mission seriously or something, when RED was the one messing around the most. She wasn’t even invited along, she just came cause Ayilu went. Ayilu almost got stabbed in the face because Red was the one distracting her. I feel like part of the root of why she’s saying all this is because she might not have reapplied just how dangerous the mission was, even if they had tried to explain it to her beforehand. Knowing her personality, she comes across as the kind of person who doesn’t realize somethings dangerous until its happening. I do however like that she's bringing this up, as I don’t like the idea of the faeries being these complete naive idiots who would be completely fine being put in danger cause they never realize the seriousness of a satiation. 4. Annie focused on Jeanne because she was dangerous and to complete their mission: Red says Annie just left Smitty there to bleed to death, but 1) leading Jeanne into the aether was their whole mission, and that’s what she was doing, and 2) Jeanne was the whole reason they were in danger. By getting her out of the way as quickly as possible, she removed the danger from her friends. It’s hard to care for someone who’s injured while you’re still getting attacked. 5. Even if they had gotten Smitty to a doctor, there’s no guarantee they would’ve been able to save him, plus he would’ve had to go into surgery and would’ve taken a while to recover. With the Psychopomps power, it was a guaranteed save with zero recovery time and no permanent injuries. Red says Annie made him wait in pain, but the psychopomps method was easily the quickest way to get rid of both the pain and the injury. 6. The group prepared as well as they could have, they can’t account for everything that could happen: Red could try and argue that maybe they didn’t prepare well enough for the mission, but honestly? They were pretty well prepared. I’m not sure they could’ve been much more prepared than they were. They can’t account for everything that could’ve happened, they just had to prepare their best and do what they could. 7. Getting in trouble with the Court could’ve compromised ALL of their safeties: Red says Annie didn't want to get in trouble, and while I don’t doubt some of Annie’s reluctance to take Smitty to the doctor was rooted in selfish reasons, she’s not the only one who would’ve gotten in trouble. And knowing the Court, the people who TRAPPED JEANNE DOWN THERE in the first place, it would’ve been more than just a week of detention. They could’ve all gotten kicked out (including Red and Ayilu!), plus the court probably didn't want Jeanne to be removed. They might’ve chosen someone else to replace her, and that someone could’ve easily come from Annie’s group. We know how capable the Court is of making inhumane and unethical decisions. Yes, Smitty’s safety (and everyone else’s safety as well) was the most important thing to this mission, and compromising it in order to save someone was definitely something they should do. However, like I said, letting the Court find out probably would’ve compromised ALL of their safeties. 8. Ayilu needs to speak up: i also really want Ayilu to say something? Red’s the one getting angry on her behalf, while Ayilu’s standing RIGHT THERE. I feel like she needs to speak up on her view of things. She’s her own person, she doesn’t need Red to speak for her. I want her to say something, regardless of whether she’s going to defend or attack Annie. 9. Annie is a bit selfish, but she’s also been put on the spot: I DO feel like Annie’s not making as good of an argument that she could, which could be a result of being put on the spot, but it also kind of shows that she might’ve been making her decisions based more on selfish reasons that truly logical ones. Which I do think is a good thing to be called out on; even though I mostly agree with what she did I agree for different reasons that than the ones she’s giving, and if she was only thinking about herself in these situations then it could lead to her making selfish decisions that I DONT agree with and that are objectively bad decisions. Even though I don’t agree with everything Red’s saying, I do think this is good for Annie to hear. I just don’t want it to end like this, I want some legitimate rebuttal to Red’s points.

I dont want the conclusion for this chapter to be that Annie’s a perfect, flawless angel that did nothing wrong, but I ALSO don’t want it to be that the entire mission was Annie’s fault and that she did everything wrong and she’s completely selfish, etc. I want her to grow and learn from it, and for her to realize what was at stake here, but I don’t want her to walk away form it thinking that she’s a terrible person, or for the others to think she's a terrible person. This situation is more complex than just “Annie’s perfect vs Annie’s terrible”, y’know? She might not’ve made all the best decisions, but she tried her best, and yes she has flaws but so do all the other characters. I don’t want Annie to leave this conversation thinking that she should never ask others for help ever again.

Some added info after March 13th, Chapter 61: Page 14:

It was very dangerous, tough mission they were all taking part in, against a ghost who has literally killed not only multiple creatures, but multiple escorts of the dead. And they, a group of teenagers, managed to complete the mission (one that more powerful, adult creatures failed at) without anyone actually dying or anyone becoming permanently injured from it. I’d say they did a pretty damn good job, Red. - At least Annie did manage to point out that Parley was personally invested in facing Jeanne, but Red didn’t really react to it. -Annie…Kat’s been working with you on this whole Jeanne thing for as long as you have. She was invested in it just like you, and she’s your best friend who loves you with her whole heart. You’re really gonna believe that you forced her to do this now? (Though I understand that it’s more of a guilt/self-doubt sort of thing going on here) -Ayilu still hasn’t said anything?? -At the very least, it seems like Red isn’t really acting super mad (based on her body language and facial expressions on this a page) so hopefully this won’t turn into a big fight or anything -And again with the whole ‘this was only what YOU wanted Annie’ shtick. Nevermind the fact that she, a CHILD, was personally asked by the magical escorts of the dead to help with this, or the fact that her friends have been working with her on this for years, or the fact that she doesn’t personally get anything out of this and really mainly did it because she thought it was the right thing to do. Nope, this was entirely Annie’s fault. Geez.

I’ll just say as a last note that the more I think about what Red’s saying, the more I disagree with her. However, I’ve always enjoyed Tom’s stories, and I have faith in him as a writer, plus at this point we’re really only nearing the middle of the chapter, so I’m hopeful that Red’s viewpoint is going to get challenged eventually. I think once the others from the mission show up they’ll be able to offer a rebuttal to Red’s point of view. Anyway, feel free to talk to me about any of this! I’m always down to talk about Gunnerkrigg Court.

#gunnerkrigg court #gunnerkrigg #spoilerkrigg #the new page is going up in like 2 hours whoops lol well i meant to post this earlier but yknow life happens #i do like seeing main characters get challenged! i like that Annie's actions dont get immediately accepted as the right course of action! bu #but i really feel like trying to place all the blame on Annie is reaaalllyy stretching it this time #so i will eagerly await for someone to challenge Red's point of view

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survivoratomic-acadia · 6 years ago

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Confessionals!

Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!

5/22

Tim

WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!

Aren

Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!

QuilLynn

So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho

Stephen

Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.

Aundra

"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.

my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.

Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao xoxo, gossip girl "

5/23

Madison

TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST.

Dan

"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.

This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.

I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "

Sarah

"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!

First season winner and flop returning again.

I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!

Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)

I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me

So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love

Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK

Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!

Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA

Anyways ill be back later with more news"

Aundra

"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me

Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely Xoxo, gossip girl "

Tim

"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great

Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite

Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas

Me: Guess I'll just... write."

Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!

Stephen

"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."

Duncan

https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk

Aundra

"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018

I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”

That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W Xoxo, gossip girl "

Dan

"Our story is........... garbage honestly.

What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "

Heather

Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.

5/24

Duncan

so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel? think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3

Luke

"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!

Opinions on my tribe:

Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!

Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.

Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:

Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.

Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.

Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!

Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!

Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1

[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "

Dana

"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!

Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.

Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "

Jay

I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia

Heather

Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe

Sam

Wig going okay so far!!

Ruthie

I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself. I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!

Tim

Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"

Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.

This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.

Ali

just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)

Sammy

okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.

Aundra

"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good

QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason xoxo, gossip girl"

Carson

"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.

Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "

Stephen

So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.

Julia

So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc

Chris Stoner

"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.

Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.

I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "

5/25

Heather

SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit

Tim

Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!

Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!

Heather

I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.

5/26

Aundra

"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos) xoxo, gossip girl P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it. "

Chris Stoner

Nothing much. We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon

Dan

So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee

Luke

Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool

Sammy

ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!!

Ruthie

So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!!

Quil

So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH.

Duncan

its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space mountain so badly, i dont want to go.

5/27

Duncan

Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later

5/28

Tim

Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.

Carson

HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

Aundra

"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops? Xoxo, gossip girl "

Jay

I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.

Dan

I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (:

5/29

Dana

Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat.

Tim

Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!

Ruthie

"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days! As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week. I think it was SO lucky too hehe.

I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "

Aundra

"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol Xoxo, gossip girl "

Quil

the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!

Luke

My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!

5/30

Chris Stoner

So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe.

5/31

Dan

I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal

Ruthie

My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess

Sammy

nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.

Ruthie

I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow.

Sarah

I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all

Quil

"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"

6/1

Duncan

Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit

Sammy

literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/

Ruthie

So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing

Tim

It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.

Olivia

REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION

Carson

Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew

Aundra

"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed / xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"

6/2

Stoner

. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working.

Trixie

"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2

[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!

[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me

[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan

[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional

Heather

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM

This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"

Luke

AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^

Dan

We won woo love life no one talks to me

Carson

We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!

Jay

I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/

6/5

Sammy

woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.

6/6

Carson

"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.

Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."

Tim

Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX

Sarah

I hate hate my tribe pt 4

Quil

So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)

Heather

WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe.

Luke

wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win

Madison

IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA.

In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out?

6/7

Dan

"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.

I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"

Duncan

Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on

Tim

Fuck my game with this swap huh.

Aundra

"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder Xoxo gossip goat "

Dan

Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt.

6/10

Tim

Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!

Quil

Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!

Aundra

"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out! Xoxo gossip goat"

Luke

"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)

I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway

Ugh my mind"

Duncan

I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives

Heather

Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh.

Dan

This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)

Ruthie

"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!

I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see! I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "

6/11

Heather

We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.

Dan

I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that.

Aundra

"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean Xoxo gossip goat "

6/12

Tim

Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!

Quil

Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes

Tim

So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.

Luke

"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...

I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"

Sammy

ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....

Madison

"Me: throws immunity

Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.

Am I mad? Not particularly. "

Aundra

"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things Xoxo gossip goat"

6/13

Tim

I MADE MERGE WOOOO

6/14

Luke

"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.

After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "

Duncan

I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack

Dan

Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people

Heather

"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"

Carson

God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!

Madison

Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!

6/15

Sammy

okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....

6/16

Duncan

I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over

Madison

"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!

Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "

Dan

"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???

I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.

Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "

Madison

WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo

6/17

Olivia

Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild.

6/20

Dan

"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.

Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "

6/21

Dan

"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.

I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "

6/24

Dan

"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.

Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.

I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"

6/27

Dan

This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)

#donttaketherocks

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