#cause they tend to focus on things that you personally are gonna be made uncomfortable by

[dogin8]

Just a little reminder that intrusive thoughts are literally like, not anything for or against a person's morals or character or trustworthiness or anything.

It is like finding out somebody has tinnitus and thinking they're awful for hearing the noise.

Multiple people have had thoughts of killing me and here I am living.

Thoughts in general don't have any repercussions on anything by themselves. They don't tell you this but you are fully allowed to think in circles about the most vile problematic unsavoury topics, and nothing happens.

[hopeymchope]

I’m talking about it being considered “problematic” Sense people already seem so be shitting on it on Twitter.

Note: This is a follow-up to this ask.

Oh. I never paid much attention to that.

The main reason people seem to think it's "problematic" is usually because of Chihiro not being canonically and undeniably trans... which is so fundamentally misguided and dumb to me that it feels like a misinformation campaign. It's the Fox News of bad takes.

Although I don't begrudge anyone their right to support/boycott media of their choosing, I also find the entire notion of "not supporting anything problematic" to be both exhausting and impossible.

Rant Time:

See, a few years back I watched this long documentary about how some popular movies were made in a way that was very bad for the local actors' union. It was enlightening and disheartening, of course, but it had a bigger point: It ended with the thesis that once you become an adult, you have the responsibility to be mindful about the media you consume, always researching them so that you never support any immoral decisions, damaging content, or bad people.

To which I say: Fuck. That.

Every major piece of media requires massive corporations to produce. Every movie or video game or TV show takes hundreds, sometimes even a THOUSAND people or more to create. And I'm supposed to be held responsible for supporting or not supporting every decision, every aspect of the content, every person involved? I'm supposed to only buy a ticket to a movie if I want to support some mega-conglomerate? (Spoiler: I will *never* want that.) This notion is not only literally impossible, it's also a guarantee that I should never watch or play or read ANYTHING EVER. You are probably supporting a bad thing if you consume ANYTHING, because so many people are involved and so many choices are made along the way there.

Like... there was probably a violent criminal who worked on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood for a while. It ran long enough and saw enough rotation of side staff that it's statistically likely to be true. It's damn near certain. But I'm not gonna be held responsible for whether some loathesome bit-part actor on that show gets a residual handed to his family in the form of pennies years later. The overall vibe/message you're supporting is obviously NOT one of such negativity, so there's no foul to me there. You get what I'm saying?

I believe we should take joy and immersion where we find it, and if I'm being real, a huge chunk of what I enjoy in media is likely "problematic" to others. I tend to enjoy being challenged in very specific ways that would probably be uncomfortable for other people. They don't need to consume what I do anymore than I need to stop doing so for their sake. To each their own!

And yeah, maybe sometimes there's a larger force at play. Maybe sometimes you feel compelled to take a big, symbolic stand because the cause at the heart of that stand - the "problematic" thing perpetrated by the content in question - is just too great, or PERCEIVED to be too great. And that's your right -- I always encourage people to do what seems like the right thing to them, sure. Boycott anything branded with the Wizarding World if you want - that makes sense, I get what you're saying!

But for me? I prefer to focus on the BIG stuff. The stuff that is obviously rooted in and doing nothing but pushing horrible causes. For example: I would never want someone to support Matt Walsh's bullshit "documentary" about how trans people are fake because he's a horrible human being who makes money off horrible human beings by creating horribly wrong, hateful things. That's an EASY decision. I would never watch or want to hang with someone who watches Newsmax, because they are liars who are attempting to engender hatred and fear to divide us. EASY decision. Some stuff, you can tell from 10 miles away that it's just there to spread and support hate. It serves no other purpose. That's the shit you can and should very easily avoid giving a dime to.

But like, if you watch horror movies, are you supporting the idea that violence/murder is entertaining? Sounds problematic! NAH. I don't buy that. Miss me with that shit.

[lopo-does-things]

As someone who actively watches the show and analyzes generally everything I consume if it’s worth my time, I think this is a bit much. Correct me if I’m wrong of course, I don’t know they’re lives, but if you’re gonna spread a viewpoint of what the creators of the show are trying to do, at least, IDK maybe talk to respectable people who actually watch the show? To say that Cartmans ideologies are true is putting a broad brush over literal decades of content. The show doesn’t really follow a structure outside of stringing jokes together through the characters. They literally want to make people laugh, that’s it. They literally made an episode about how they don’t put much thought into the show despite critics saying they do. The show started as two guys trying to make the most shocking shit they could possibly get away with on TV. That’s not saying that they don't want to make points, but it was never the focus unless they’re using it as a creative tool for jokes. Saying that he’s always right is just straight up wrong, because he isn’t, in fact they made an episode to really show how far he would go, just to show how much of an evil motherfucker he is. Personally, the reason I got attached to the show and it’s characters early on was because I binged it from the start, back in 1997 they dedicated an entire episode on being gay, S1E3 iirc, and the whole episode accurately goes through the history of how gay people became prosecuted, even small things like toxic masculinity and it ends with Stan saying that being gay is ok, which wasn’t a safe thing to do back then, especially for a new series that’s already garnering attention for it’s shock humor. All of this stemmed from them wanting to make jokes about dogs being gay because they hump other dogs. The show is stupid. But on to my larger point with this, if the show is encouraging bigotry and the shows creators genuinely want to cause harm, then why take such a huge risk so early on? A take that could’ve potentially killed the show. I genuinely think that Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of the show, are good people. Obviously I’m biased, as I am gay, that episode struck a chord with me during a very turbulent time in my life, and south park has given me happiness through just making me laugh about real life issues that stress me the fuck out. Watching the creators of the show grow and change not just as show writers and directors, but as people as well is also something I love doing, so there's that too. That’s why I like watching the show. If the show makes you uncomfortable or offends you, that’s completely valid. If you don’t feel comfortable watching it and you don’t want your friends talking about it to you, that’s valid too. But going over to people and broad-brushing a show that’s been developing for over 3 decades and has evolved and changed over the years and saying that by watching it are supporting bigotry, I feel, has so many holes in it and broad brushes a whole community that finds something fun and can bond over it. If anyone has specific examples, I am curious to re-watch those episodes. South Park has given me a lot of joy in my life and I do think it’s unfair to say that the show is about Cartman being right because a some episodes don’t even center around him as a major character, a lot do cuz he’s the mascot, but the cast is so big they have whole episodes centering around background characters, which tend to be my favorites personally. That’s just my 2 cents.

idk what teenager needs to hear this but please stop watching south park

[lokiskitten]

could you please do one where the reader seduces him at a public place / dinner , and leaves him really frustrated and turned on , and he can't even react , but the reader gets it back once they get home

Tom Hiddleston | public teasing

Tom Hiddleston x fem!reader

plot : for your first year anniversary, Tom decided to take you out on a romantic date. However, you find a way to distract your mind from the presence of the paparazzis by physically teasing your boyfriend. Once the two of you get home, the man is finally able to teach you a lesson.

warnings : verbal teasing, public teasing, smut, dirty talking, light bondage, spanking, unprotected sex.

Today marked the one year anniversary of both you and your lovely boyfriend Tom. You absolutely adored him, especially as he constantly filled you with happiness no matter his busy schedule. Through filming and attending set, Tom always made sure to shoot you a few texts in order to reassure your anxiety and to make sure that you knew how much he loved you. His fame tended to disturb you at first, but time had allowed you to get used to the intrusive media and paparazzis. Besides, Tom always made sure to keep you out of the spotlights as much as he could.

But tonight, another priority turned out to be more important than avoiding the press. Your boyfriend had decided to take you out for dinner to a fancy restaurant, making sure that everything would be perfect for you to enjoy. You felt excited indeed, but anxiety still bubbled in your stomach due to the constant fear of being photographed against your will.

Sitting down at the fancy table, your elbows rested against the edge of the table whilst your palms anxiously rubbed against one another. Your orbs scanned the candle which stood between you and your boyfriend, this romantic detail truly dipping you into the mood for some extra wine. Tom was going on with his meal, cutting his steak with the help of his fork and knife whilst you found yourself lost in your thoughts. Quickly enough, the grown man noticed how dizzy you looked and couldn’t help but put his stencils down.

“Hey, sweetheart?” He asked before passing his napkin against his lips. Your eyes diverted up towards him, eyebrow raising slightly whilst your hand reached out for your glass of wine. “What would you think about going to the park tomorrow? I heard there’s gonna be lovely weather.” Tom stated, sincerely doubting that this stupid statement would change anything to your anxious mindset. His large hand reached out for yours, thumb rubbing against the back of your hand in order to bring warmth to ease your physical distress.

You simply shrugged though allowed Tom’s hand to take yours, finding comfort in his touch. “I’m sorry.. this was supposed to be a lovely night. I just feel anxious.” You explained, putting your glass down before pulling your hand away in order to grab your own stencils. You finally began to eat, enjoying how nice this food tasted which wasn’t surprising seeing how fancy and elegant this place was. “I understand. But hey, it’s just us right now.” Tom affirmed confidently before going back to eating his meal just like you were doing.

Upon hearing this sentence, your eyes looked up at his focused facial features as mischievous thoughts built up in your mind. At least, it helped you think about something else than the potential presence of the paparazzis. “Just us?..” you asked on an innocent tone whilst your foot gently started to brush against his clothed ankle. Feeling the unexpected sensation against his leg, Tom looked up at you with rather confused eyes. Though this didn’t stop you, in contrary, it only enhanced your inner mischief.

Progressively, your foot moved up to his inner thigh before starting to press against his crotch, gently massaging his prominent bulge as if the two of you were sitting in your living room. Tom immediately reached underneath the table, taking ahold of your ankle in order to put to an end your teasing mannerisms. He looked to his left and then to his right, a happy grin now appearing onto your face upon seeing the distress of your boyfriend. Tom then settled his eyes on you as his large hand squeezed your ankle as a way of begging you to stop this evil action.

“What are you doing?” He whispered whilst leaning in gently, serious eyes staring into your soul. You giggled, biting down onto your tongue in order to stop yourself from laughing too loudly and avoid to attract attention on the two of you. Tom noticed that you were in a playful mood, a smirk now appearing onto his face as he decided to give in your little game and allow you to believe that you had won. Noticing this detail you agreed to pull your foot away, delicately resting it back onto the floor before taking a sip of your beverage.

[ ... ]

About a hour later, the two of you had now arrived back home, a yawn escaping your open mouth as you allowed your keys to fall down into the pot which was in the entrance of the apartment. “Jesus.. I feel absolutely exhausted. I’m so full.” You affirmed tiredly before stretching your arms whilst Tom hung his jacket onto the coat hanger. However, before you could even reach for the living room, you found yourself being suddenly pushed against the wall by none but your beloved boyfriend.

A giggle escaped your lips as your brain understood what this was all about, Tom’s stern look being enough to make you understand that he was now getting revenge for what you had previously done back at the restaurant. Guttural groans echoed behind his closed lips, blue eyes scanning your body as his head titled hungrily. You continued to playfully giggle, arms attempting to move up to his shoulders though without ever succeeding due to his own arms being in the way. This was a game the two of you had progressively developed throughout your relationship, a personal kink you both enjoyed to involve during intercourses.

“You deserve proper punishment.” Tom affirmed as his blue eyes finally looked up at yours, his facial features remaining strict. You knew that your part of the job was to refrain from putting up an attitude nor laughing, yet you couldn’t help but smile due to your playful mood which was progressively taking over your body and senses. Taking ahold of your arm, the man dragged you all the way up to the bedroom in a hurry, closing the door behind the two of you for extra privacy even though no one else stood in this shared apparement of yours. When Tom set you free, you stepped back towards the bed as you watched your boyfriend tear open his fancy shirt.

The buttons fell onto the floor, though Tom didn’t truly care as he knew that he had a bunch of other shirts waiting for him in his closet. You bit down onto your bottom lip, head tilting in a teasing manner as you waited for the grown man to finally give you the punishment you deserved. Approaching your silhouette, his hands pushed you down onto the bed before he took the initiative to remove his belt. Not once did you flinch, being fully aware that your boyfriend would never do anything to hurt you and that not even unintentionally. Tom took ahold of your ankles and dragged you close to his body and immediate reach, using the leather product in order to lock your hands together for good.

With you being at his mercy, a mischievous smirk now appeared onto Tom’s face as he looked down at you. “Look at you now...” he began, head tilting in awe. “Not so fierce anymore, huh? Do you still feel like teasing me?” The man questioned, earning nothing from you but a simple smile. He squinted his eyes, brain thinking about all the things he wanted to do to you. Meanwhile, his veiny hand brushed against your elevated knee, sending chills down your spine. Both of his hands suddenly reached down for your shirt, tearing it apart with the help of his natural strength he had previously used to reap open his own upper piece of clothing.

You yelped, chest now exposed to him as warmth started to build up in your needy crotch. You wanted him; you absolutely needed him. “My sweet girl.” He affirmed before flipping you around onto your stomach. Your bum was now exposed to him, his hand reaching down for your hips which he gripped in order to pull your ass upwards. This position felt uncomfortable, but you remained patient as you knew how good it would turn out to feel once your boyfriend would finally be rocking his hips against yours. “I’ll teach you what it costs to tease me in public.” Tom promised as his hand caressed and made its way up your back.

“Do the loki voice-!” You began only to be brutally interrupted by the sensation of Tom’s hand squeezing the back of your head. “No talking.” He ordered, the familiar mischievous tone answering your demand which caused a smirk to appear on your face. This specific tone was something thousands of girls dreamt to be submitted to, yet only you was able to enjoy it live and stereo. Besides, Tom secretly enjoyed it too. You giggled, allowing your boyfriend to carry on with his own plans which you would gladly accept to submit to.

Finally, Tom took the initiative to pull your pants and underwear down to your mid thighs, exposing your wet cunt to his sight and the lustful air which filled the room. You moaned, betraying the fact that you were indeed enjoying this little session of pure revenge. Again, Tom chuckled darkly. His fingers moved down to your moist entrance, gently rubbing up and down your slit in order to properly spray the wetness around before starting to focus onto your clit. He teased it for a couple of seconds, rubbing circles against the hard bud which was meant to hide underneath its protective hood.

You moaned, head tilting back slightly before Tom decided to pull his fingers away from your core. Pouting sadly face to this disappointment, your head turned to the side in a desperate attempt to see what the man was now doing. Unfortunately, this gesture didn’t turn out to be any successful. He was now working on removing his own pants, allowing the piece of clothing to fall down to his ankles as his hardening cock was set free. His tip brushed against your wet slit, his warmth mixing with yours as pants started to escape his parted lips.

“Tommy..” you whimpered submissively, earning a harsh spank against your naked bum for stepping past his main rule. He shushed you, his thumb and index finger taking a gentle hold of his shaft in order to properly guide it into your wetness. Spreading your swollen lips with the help of his other hand, Tom managed to ease himself inside of you rather easily, the sensation of his hardness sliding inside of your core causing you the moan out of relief. You probably wouldn’t have been able to handle waiting any longer.

“Ahh-.. such a dirty girl.” He praised, hands now moving away from both of your respective genitals in order to take a firm hold of your hips. Tom was soon to reach balls deep, brushing past most of your sensitive spots and causing your legs to tremble gently. He felt indulgent enough to offer you a couple of seconds to adjust to his size- even though you’ve felt it plenty of times by now, which he was aware of. The thrusting process was soon to occur, gaining in confidence and harshness as seconds passed by.

Tom winced and moaned lustfully, still holding onto your hips as if his life depended on it. You added up to the melody by allowing your own moans to escape your lips, enjoying the way his tip repetitively rubbed against your g-spot and hit your cervix. Your joint hands gripped onto the bedsheets, eyelids shutting close so that your brain would be fully able to enjoy what was going on and building up in your lower abdomen. “Fuck- your going to make me cum sooner than...” Tom stated through his winces, abs contracted as he continued to thrust in and out of you.

Before the two of you could know it, Tom’s shaft throbbed and clenched, semen spraying out of his urethra and landing against your pulsating cervix. You moaned in awe, Tom towering over your body as his hands now fell beside your head. His digits clenched against the bedsheets, guttural moans escaping his shaky lips as he didn’t refrain from ejaculating all of his sperm inside of your stretched wetness. Your bum moved up against his hips, enhancing the intense contact whilst your boyfriend took time to properly wash his orgasm away.

Once he was finally done coming inside of you, the older man pulled out and allowed his tired body to fall down onto the bed besides your recovering self. The two of you panted, your body relaxing against the bed sheets as it was now your mind’s turn to recover from this intense intercourse.

I hope you guys enjoyed this! Feel free to leave a request. ❤️

[geminil0vr]

"lists" | ron b. weasley (part one)

read part two here !!

summary; you and your boyfriend ron are both completely inexperienced, but one day he asks you what you like in bed. lucky for you, you actually made a list. and he's happy enough to play a few of those fantasies out.

tagged; @weasleyssupremacy

word count; 4.6k

content; smut, fluff, banter, making out, embarrassment, shit ton of blushing, mentions of kinks, mentions of teasing, mentions of hitting, mentions of choking, mentions of sex, mentions of praise, mentions of degradation, cursing, grinding, finger-sucking, spit, cum swallowing, first time foreplay (male receiving oral, female receiving oral), fingering, handjob kinda, orgasms, teaching/instructions, relatively realistic, no aftercare included but you know damn well ron'll take care of you, not really a specific dom/sub dynamic, inexperienced/house-neutral fem!reader, inexperienced boyfriend!ron, think that's it but lemme know if i forgot anything !

a/n; holy shit this took me hours !! in this fic, ron and the reader are sixteen years old. i'm from the uk, where the legal age of consent is sixteen — more specifically, in england, wales and northern ireland, a minor is considered a person under the age of eighteen. and i do not want to write smut about minors, i will never do that. so i did a little more research, standard wiki shite, and in scotland (where hogwarts is) that age is sixteen. sixteen year olds and up are no longer minors in scotland. i know many of you are from different countries and therefore may feel uncomfortable with this age because it doesn't reflect the definition of minor/non-minor in your respective countries, and that is perfectly okay !! i completely understand, hope this made sense bc i'm too fucking exhausted to tell. feel free to scroll by and find another fic to read, please put in a request for any of the harry potter characters if u wish, and have a lovely day :))

you hadn't done much with him.

just kissing, really. some grinding here and there. you were comfortable in each other's grasp, sure, but you both never quite went over that line, of more than kissing, of more than light touching.

didn't make you insecure. nor impatient. it was a comfortable kind of middle ground.

and in that middle ground, you were seated on his thighs, legs either side of him, kissing gently, tenderly. these were tepid, lukewarm, waters, just bordering on more, just bordering on scalding hot, and you didn't mind it. you didn't mind it at all.

pulling back, lips not too swollen, just pink, you smiled softly down at ron weasley.

"you okay?" he asked. you hadn't meant to start kissing, you were just talking, just hanging out, him levitating a marble in his empty bedroom, you reading a book and making sure he didn't try and levitate a lamp — that never went well. not with ron weasley. but he got bored, and your eyes wouldn't focus on the pages, and you'd forgotten your reading glasses and he'd kissed you sweetly, and you'd kissed him back and now... now, you were snogging. you didn't care much for that word. it sounded weird, and heavy, and hot. and things with ron (so far, at least) weren't weighted, and hot, they were warm, and soft, and him.

you took the time to rifle your fingers through his red hair. he'd been letting it grow, just a little, down to the nape of his neck. "yeah, you?"

he grinned cheekily, nose and cheeks flushed already. of course, this was the usual. one kiss from you turned him pink, not out of awkwardness, just passion, you supposed. it was rather cute. and he pushed you further up in his lap, not too close, but closer. you grinned back. you kissed. and you pulled away again, just to look at him.

he took in a sharp breath, before blurting out something he’d wanted to ask for the longest time, "what do you like?"

"hmm?" you tilted your head.

he swallowed. “what do you like?"

"i'm gonna need some context here."

"in bed." now you felt as flushed as he looked. to ask that question, it must've taken a lot of courage. he was a gryffindor after all.

even starting a sentence caused your breathing to pick up. "well, you know i've never done anything before..." that was true. but you'd done your research. you'd actually made a list of what you thought you might like, which was idiotic in retrospect, and quite childish, but you'd done it, and it sat in your bag with a burning prescence.

"but surely you know... ya’ know, what you might like?"

you settled back, more comfortably in his lap, arms still around his neck, but you were less close. "why're you asking?" you teased.

"you know why!" ron groaned, burying his head into your shoulder, and he felt your shoulders shake with nervous laughter.

"well, i guess, i have — well... nevermind." he moved back, face burning, with an eager smile plastered on his face.

"go on, tell me! i want to know."

"it's embarrassing!"

"i won't make fun."

"yes, you absolutely will."

"won't."

"will."

"just tell me."

you swallowed and chewed nervously at your lip. "i've made a list."

"alright, tell me." if he said 'tell me' one more time you would strangle him. speaking of choking, and all that —

"promise you won't judge?"

"promise."

"well it's more of... well, it's not a mental list. i've written it down."

a grin broke out on your boyfriend's face, and you smacked his bicep.

"oi, you said you wouldn't judge!"

"i'm not judging! it's just cute, 's all." his smile faded a little. "so, about that list... why don't you go fetch it?" he said, with a sideways nod of his head.

"fetch? i'm not a dog."

he made the excited face he always had before he told a bad joke. for fucks sake. "aw, well, i figured pet play would be on your list —"

"shut up, shut up, shut up!" with each 'shut up' you punched his chest and he crossed his arms over it to protect himself.

"hitting, is that your kink too?" well, you weren’t exactly opposed.

you groaned and swung your leg over him, "i'm gonna go get my fucking list."

getting up and 'fetching' your bag, you searched through it and found your little, blue notepad. as soon as you'd returned to the four poster bed, ron reached out to grab it, and you quickly pulled back.

"no, i have more than just 'kinks' in there. and i don't wanna tell you everything."

"why not?" he was genuinely confused. that was the problem with these weasley boys: no boundaries.

"if i tell you everything about me then what secrets will i have left?"

"secrets are overrated." he stared blankly at you, shrugging, but still wrapped his arms around your waist comfortably as you swung your leg back over to sit on his thighs. as you flipped through the pages of the notepad, you found what you had been searching for. 27 pages in, hidden between random pencil scrawls, was your list. you'd learned about sex from books, and your friends' experiences, and being a sixteen year old at what is technically a boarding school. and though that wasn't the highest form of education, you knew enough to keep safe, and to feel good, and ron knew enough, too. "so, start reading!"

looking over the first line, your cheeks burned and you shook your head. "i can't say that!"

"want me to turn around?"

"no, i — no. i'm just gonna..." you slid all the way up his lap, ron attempting to ignore that you were right over his crotch in a pair of pretty blue jeans, and hid your face in the crook of his neck, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, embarrassed by your childish ways.

"c—" ron's voice broke, and you fought a smile, "comfy?"

"yeah. i'm ready now." you swallowed, breaths shallow and voice shaky as you brought your list up to your eyes. "um, well, i've heard about, uh —" he rubbed a hand up and down your back. you couldn't see him, but he was grinning and biting his tongue in anticipation. "pet play."

"you bloody liar, tell me the real list! don't be a pussy."

"fine, fine. no pet play. but i, uh, think choking sounds hot." your voice was slightly less shaky as you kept your flaming cheeks out of view. ron was bright red, too.

"uhuh. what next?" his voice was quiet and trembling now, grip on your waist tighter. the atmosphere of his dorm room had completely shifted.

"and, um, teasing. 's hot." your eyes flitted to the next word, trying to keep your composure as ron's grip on your waist tightened even more, keeping you still on top of him. "i like being praised, but being degraded is — it sounds... good."

ron had to fight the urge to groan, not out of frustration, but pure lust. you were by no means innocent, in fact, you tended to make a sex joke every day, or comment 'that's what she said' at every euphemism, but he never expected to hear those words actually slip from your lips. he couldn't speak, his voice got stuck in his throat, and he knew if he even tried his voice would break and go all high-pitched.

"then, hair pulling. hard sex, soft sex." both of your hearts were beating so fast, and you squeezed your legs against him. it was a nervous action, but you didn't expect him to let out a high gasp, and you certainly didn't expect him to grow firmer beneath you. "spanking, breeding, maybe, we'll see." he closed his eyes and let out a low exhale that he’d been holding in.

you pressed your hips harder down onto him, and his nails dug into your thighs. you'd been in this position before, while kissing, but this felt like pure filth, you telling him what you wanted him to do to you, and him just listening, and him getting hard. i mean, he'd been hard beneath you before, on top of you even, but it never led to anything more, and you didn't think you'd ever felt him this hard.

"i — i think i like biting. anywhere, really. not too hard. you have to be gentle with me." you had pulled back a little now, eyes still glued to your notepad, head turned a little so your lips were almost touching his ear. tentatively, you looked away. the tips of his ears were burning hot, and red. you took the lobe between your teeth, biting softly, tongue darting out just a little. his hips bucked up into yours, and you both moaned quietly. "and licking." you slid your tongue over his warm skin, just below his ear, then curved your spine to lick further over the expanse of his neck, causing him to let out another breathy moan.

"fuck..."

"and, spit. i think it's hot. i've thought about it, about you, before. i dunno." you kept your tone unsure, in hesitation. you had more on your list, just things you found hot, situations you found hot, but you closed it and pulled back, unwrapping your arms from around his neck and fiddling with the notepad between your fingers. that was enough, for now. ron was breathing heavily. you were breathing heavily. everything felt hot, and heavy, and it wasn't the norm, not with ron, but you liked it.

"th— that was... good. a good list." he choked, hands still on your thighs.

"yeah."

a tense silence settled between you, until he wrapped one arm around your waist, hand slipping up your back, the other in your hair, and brought you into a feverish kiss. you grinded down on him, moaning into his mouth feeling the reminder of how hard he was, chucking the list to the side and sliding your hands up his shirt as your tongues explored each other's mouths. it felt good. really good. better than you could have expected.

ron gently nibbled at your bottom lip, before pulling away and moving his focus to your neck. you tilted your head to the side, hurriedly moving your hair to the side to give him better access. he licked teasingly up your neck, and you dug crescent moons into his abdominal as he began sucking and biting at the skin beneath your ear, and your pulse point, and soon your collarbone, and before you knew it your sweater was pulled off and he sucked and licked against the skin right above your breasts. this was the first time he'd seen you without a top on, just in a plain, black bra, and he was damn well going to savour it.

you tried to hold back moans, but it seemed impossible when he was burning beneath you, so you did what was natural. you grinded against him and whined as he trailed wet kisses all over your chest, and after a while of you arching your chest into his mouth, you realised what he was doing.

your voice came out breathless, almost breaking. "you're teasing me."

he stopped his trail of kisses to move his face back to yours. "what, you thought i wasn't listening?"

"well, stop." you whined, scratching your nails over his abdomen once more, earning a shallow moan from him.

"i thought you liked it." he tilted his head, almost smirking.

you swiped your tongue over your bottom lip, chest heaving, as you took your hands from under his shirt. "just touch me. please." ron took a moment to take his own shirt off, and you admired the freckles dotted over his pale yet flushed chest and shoulders until he wrapped his arms around you, unhooking your bra clumsily, fingers shaking with lust. you gripped his shoulders, fingers gliding over each mole as your eyes darted over his features.

"so fucking pretty." he licked and kissed underneath your right breast, cupping the other one in his large hand, and your mouth dropped open, brows furrowed in pleasure as he took a nipple into his mouth, looking up at you as you grinded down onto him.

"ron, fuck, i'm too sensitive."

you watched him grin as he slowed his movements and instead licked softly once over your nipple as you threw your head back. you were the hottest thing he'd ever seen. well, he'd only ever seen his brother's porn magazines so there wasn't much competition. but he could say without a doubt that you were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, your back arched, your head thrown back, your chest flushed. so pretty. but if he didn't speed things up he was sure he would cum in his jeans. you caught his lips in yours once more, struggling with the buckle on his jeans. you knew you wouldn't have sex, not today. but other things were always possible. that thought made your head spin with anxiety and need.

after a little while, you resorted to quickly tugging off your own jeans, ron doing the same, and soon you were back in the same position, except you could really feel him against you. you both looked down at the sight of you in your panties on top of him in his blue boxers, and both laughed breathlessly, kissing once more before you slid off and between his legs. if you'd stayed any longer, he might've felt how fucking wet you were.

"y/n..."

"it's okay, i want to do this. do you? we don't have to." he nodded his head, bottom lip between his teeth. "okay. just tell me what to do, okay? tell me what you like, ronnie."

‘ronnie’ didn't think he'd last that long when your hands were gripping at his thighs and you were on your knees, in only your underwear, between his legs. "okay. yeah."

you cautiously slipped down his underwear, pausing for a second as his flushed and red cock smacked up against his stomach. fuck, he was big, and already dripping precum. you were almost mesmerised with him before you remembered that he might be self conscious, so you proceeded to slip his underwear all the way off, throwing it off the side of the bed and coming closer to him, laying on your stomach and trailing a finger soothingly up and down his thigh. "so pretty." you teased, mimicking him from before, but as you looked up at his desperate face, mouth open, cheeks red, brows raised slightly, you decided that maybe teasing wasn't the best decision in that moment.

so, you wrapped a hand around his cock, feeling it twitch in your hand as ron moaned, head thrown back just like you had before. "that feels good."

"i haven't even done anything yet." you chuckled, looking up at him expectantly until his blue eyes met your own. "tell me what to do."

he gulped. "right, so you just wanna... make your hand wet. spit in your hand. you should like that." he couldn't believe he was saying this to you, or even joking in this moment, because right there, he was totally and utterly at your mercy.

you removed your hand from him, finding your mouth already salivating, and instead of licking your hand, you gathered your spit and let it drop from your tongue down onto it. he groaned as you looked up at him. fuck, he definitely wouldn't last long if you did more shit like that. taking your slick hand, you guided it up and down his cock, hesitantly dragging it over the tip, making him buck up into your hand and drip out even more precum. "fuck, uh... be careful with the tip. it's sensitive."

"sorry." he went to tell you not to apologise, but then you avoided going directly over the tip, collecting more of the precum, and the amount of spit and slick on your hand was creating lewd, wet sounds. if he tried to speak now, he’d probably just whine. testing the (now, scalding hot) waters, you dragged your tongue up his shaft, and he moaned even louder. he seemed to like that, so you did it again, and again, then put the tip in your mouth, pushing your lips down onto it until you got scared that your teeth would graze him.

"fuck, just like that, y/n, you’re so good."

seems he took more notes than you gave him credit for. or maybe this was natural? shit, is this how he spoke normally? he would drive you insane.

and how the fuck did people not use their teeth? at this point, you wanted to hear more of those beautiful sounds coming from your boyfriend's mouth, but also wanted to ask him. so you slowly took your mouth off, making him look down at you in concern.

"ron, how... i'm worried i'll use my teeth."

ron wasn't sure how to answer that, being just as inexperienced as you were, but he tried to use what he heard his friends talking about in the boys dorm.

"i think you just, try to wrap your lips down over your teeth. or you purse your lips. like an ice pop." you chuckled, and so did he. "i guess you have to make your tongue flat and then cover the top ones."

"okay, i'll try..." but before you went down again, he spoke once more.

"and, don't swallow the cum. doesn't taste great."

you nodded, and he watched you as you tried the technique, getting down even further, causing him to grip at your hair. he didn't push you down, just needed something to hold onto other than the bedsheets, that was all. and after all, you did quite like hair pulling. you moved his thick cock in and out of your mouth, wrapping your hands around the parts where your mouth couldn't reach, and looked up as ron's grip tightened on you. you didn't bother touching his balls — that was an experiment for another day.

"fuck, i'm gonna cum," you moved your mouth to just the tip, as more groans left his lips. "y/n, shit, don't swallow, just take your — fuck, take your mouth off."

you were stubborn. so stubborn in fact, that you kept suckling at the tip of his cock as he jerked up into your mouth, body freezing, as you swallowed load after load. you just wanted to please him. and thank merlin you'd done all those water (and to be honest, butterbeer) chugging competitions with lee, or you'd have been absolutely done for. he was right, it didn't taste good, at all. it was salty, and bitter, and as you took your mouth off him and let his slowly softening dick slap against his thigh, you almost winced at the flavour.

ron's chest was pink and flushed with perspiration, head thrown back against the headboard and eyes firmly closed, recovering. "fuck. told you."

"'s not the worst thing in the world. i'd do it again."

"don't say that or i'll get hard again." he reached for his boxers off the side of the bed, awkwardly slipping them on in a sitting position.

you chuckled, reaching to his bedside table to gulp down some water, head fuzzy and chest warm with the accomplishment of pleasing your boyfriend. he wiped a hand over his forehead, taking the glass out of your hand to take a big sip himself before putting it down.

"well, that was exhausting." he groaned.

"tell me about it. my bloody jaw hurts." you grinned, and he smiled back and rushed to peck you on the lips firmly, sending you to fall back against the covers as he hovered on top of you. "what're you doing?"

"don't think i'm done with you just yet." he grinned, but faltered. "unless you don't want to. i don't want to force you or anything, just tell me if —" you shut the clumsy boy up with another kiss, clasping your hands behind his neck and grabbing at his soft hair, wrapping your legs around his waist. you clenched around nothing as you felt his soft cock beneath his boxers against your soaked panties.

"it'd be my pleasure." you muttered against his lips. and he grinded into you once more before moving you so your head was against the headboard, and him between your legs.

"oh, how the turn tables, hmm?"

"shut it, loverboy." you shook your head, biting your lip and looking down at him as he trailed his nails down your inner thighs, making you arch your back a little. "and what did i say about teasing?"

"that it's hot." his crooked smile made your stomach clench.

"that you should stop." your complaints were ignored as the humour in the room dropped, and he looked at the wet patch seeping through your underwear. he seemed transfixed, swiping the pad of his thumb over it, before hooking his fingers into the waistband of your panties and pulling them off, tossing them to the side.

taking his middle finger, he swiped it through your soaked folds, making you whine. "you're dripping." his voice got much deeper, and his throat felt dry, but if he opened his mouth he was sure he'd drool. "did it turn you on, sucking..." he cleared his throat. "sucking my dick?"

you didn't reply, just bucked your hips up into his touch as he paused.

he pressed on. "so?"

"yes, it did." you were so desperate that you actually pouted your lips. seeing ron talk so dirty, despite his hesitance, was the second reason you were dripping. you didn't know he'd be like that. though you should've expected it.

but his shyness hadn't left just yet. "can you... can you tell me what to do?"

you tried to catch your breath, his finger was still over your clit, not firmly pressing, just there. you got distracted for a second, looking down and subtly pushing your hips up, before you bit your lip, swallowed, and met his eyes again. he seemed to be amused by that. "uh, so... you just get your fingers nice and wet, first."

it even surprised ron when he removed his finger from you, and held up his hand to your mouth. your breath hitched. "you're probably wet enough anyway, but go on, then. 's what you like, right?"

you nodded nervously, taking his wrist and putting three of his fingers into your mouth. you sucked them in, making sure to get enough drool all over 'em, before messily removing them and letting spit string down to your tits. ron watched it all, dick growing hard again. he was sure now. you would be the hottest thing he'd ever see in his entire life. you let go of his wrist as he let the rest of the spit drip onto your pussy, the air leaving you cold as he spread it around with his fingers, up your folds, circling your hole. the avoidance of your clit made you throw your head back, as he teased you. he knew exactly where the clit was, frankly, it was pretty clear to see, all red and swollen and big. he was doing this on purpose.

"please, ronnie." you whined.

"okay, okay. what next?"

"you need to touch my... my clit. and maybe put a finger in, but, be gentle, please?"

"you've never fingered yourself before?" his voice broke.

"i tried, just one, but, it's not really comfy when i do it. too tight. fingers aren't long enough, maybe. i don't know." you swallowed nervously. speaking about your personal sexual experiences was embarrassing. ron found it hot.

he took your advice, slick fingers brushing over your clit, then paying more attention to it, playing with it, even pinching it, turning you into a whimpering mess. figuring you were prepared enough, ron gently dragged his middle finger over to your hole. "gonna put a finger in, now. ready?"

"yeah, please."

you gasped and gripped his arm. he eased in slowly, and fuck, you were tight. you'd broken you hymen before, probably by either walking, riding your bike, or simply experimenting on yourself, so there was no resistance as he reached his finger all the way in, just a slight discomfort on your part. he almost began to start moving, but you tightened your grip. "just a second, ron. your finger's bigger than i'm used to." that sentence made him rut into the bed, as he followed your instruction and stayed still. your body relaxed, and he even felt you begin to unclench around him, your ridges less restricting. "it's okay now, you can — fuck."

he'd started sliding his finger in and out, slowly, as soon as you gave the 'okay', and this was definitely better than you could have ever done to yourself. you weren't sure you could come just from this, but you didn't care, it felt good. you'd heard one way to make it better, though.

"try curling up your finger — oh." if this boy could only give you a chance to breathe. that change in movement was hitting a spongey spot inside you that made you clench your thighs together, which he fixed by using his elbow to spread one, and his free hand to hold down the other. you brought one foot up to his back, needing some kind of stability. "you okay?" he asked, which was a loaded question considering that his thumb accidentally brushing over your clit made your entire body jerk, and you weren't just okay, you were bloody brilliant, the blinding pleasure bordering on pain.

"fuck, touch my clit, please." you moaned, head thrown back as he did as you said, making your entire body spasm. you were so close, so fucking close, and you practically rode his fingers as you thrashed up and down, tits bouncing. you were just about to tell him you were gonna come (though with you non-stop clenching around his one finger, it was pretty obvious) when he decided to try something, removing his thumb from your clit and instead sucking onto it.

he'd heard about eating girls out, and it was something he'd always wanted to do to you, to drive you crazy, and if he couldn't do it now he was going to at least include his mouth into some of the action. he wanted to taste you.

with this surprise, you came hard, the heel of your foot pressing into his back, his hand working hard to hold down your other thigh, stomach clenching and eyes rolling back. you were moaning so much and so loudly that you were glad almost everyone was out at hogsmeade. as you came down from your high, ron removed his lips from your clit and slowly removed his finger, your aftershocks trying to suck him back in. your back, forehead and chest were sweating, your entire mouth dry as your eyes stayed closed. ron rubbed his hands soothingly up your thighs as your body spasmed again, and brought himself up to kiss your forehead, a grin that you couldn't see playing at his lips. he wrapped his arms around you as you sighed and leaned into him.

"fuck." you sighed, opening your heavy eyes and glancing at ron who licked the rest of your cum off his fingers, looking up at the ceiling. you were still clenching around nothing. that was the hardest you'd ever came, even better than the showerhead — oh, ron would have an absolute riot if he knew you used the showerhead. "thank you."

he gave you that dumb fucking grin, the one he always had before making a bad joke. "orange you glad you read out that list?"

"shut up and kiss me. idiot."

[harrywritingsbyme]

Heyy! Can you do one where Harry loves to have his mark on y/n by cumming on her and he has a public hair kink. He loves the dense Matt if her pubic hair so to mark her he always cums on her hair and everything they lazily lounge around he loves to just slip his hand inside her shorts and play with her hair pubic hair.... something like that pleasee

Hair

Based Off Of This Ask

A/N: I have no idea why, but I just love this concept so much. It’s a strong combo of smut and fluff…but mostly smut. And I’m adding this to ‘A Series of Firsts’! Mainly because being accepted in this way may in fact be a first time for a lot of people, and this does involve ‘Y/n’ after all. Also, I’m sorry for slacking off on this series…my writing “go to’s”, schedule, and motivation have shifted drastically so I’ve been neglecting this baby for a lil bit…but now she’s back and better than ever. Enjoy 🙃

You could honestly say that when it came to being “hair down there” positive, Harry hands down took the top spot. At first you couldn’t believe it. You couldn’t believe that, you were lucky enough to have a partner who could care less about whether or not you had a bit of a bush down there. In the past, you’ve been shamed for not taking care of this “ultra-sacred” ritual that was shaving, and you were made to feel like you were in the wrong for not caring much about it. Along with being made to feel ashamed of your pubic hair, you were also neglected. After a couple times of being turned away because you weren’t clean shaven down there, you just learned to get by on your own. And to be completely honest, pleasuring yourself wasn’t bad at all. But even though this was the case, you still felt a little down at times when you thought about how you were deemed untouchable if you had a bush of the sorts.

Now it’s not like you were completely against shaving and you’ve decided to write it out of your life completely. That’s not the case at all. It’s just that since shaving had been proven to be a bit of a task for you, you tended to put it off until you finally mustered up enough motivation (and energy…you heard it right, a lot of energy was needed for this) to drag yourself into the bathroom and meticulously shave down there. And even when you did eventually carve out the time to take care of some bush maintenance, you would often decide to leave a bit on and just make things a bit neat. Eventually enough though you were able to get into some sort of shaving regimen and it lasted a pretty good while. 

Fast forward to your relationship with Harry and you were still keeping it going. This was mostly due to the fact that you and Harry were having round the clock sex. And it was some really good sex. There wasn’t a time where he wasn’t touching or inside of you. Now while you and Harry were beyond happy together, you still had a bit of your guard still up. Even though he’d proven himself to be one of the sweetest and most amazing human beings on the planet, you were still a bit nervous. You worried yourself over the idea that if you were let yourself go down there for even a second, you were going to be deemed untouchable by Harry. And that’s the last thing you wanted. You were the happiest you’d ever been when in a relationship and you were afraid losing that. So you kept up with your shaving regimen and you made sure to keep it nice and hairless down there. 

Now you kept up with a solid routine for shaving, and it lasted a pretty good while. But a pretty good while does not mean forever. One week when it was time for your routine “maintenance”, you were completely out of it. You were not feeling it at all and your routine fell by the wayside. You would say that you would do it the next time you took a shower and you’d keep on saying it up until a week and a half went by. And in that time, Harry noticed some shifts in how you normally were. For starters, you started wearing pants to bed. You never wore pants to bed. The only bottoms you’d have on your body would be a pair of panties, but out of the blue you were wearing your pajama bottoms as well. Another thing he noticed was the fact that you weren’t letting him touch you down there or even push his hand into your panties just because the way you used to. Normally you’d be fine with him touching you or resting his hand down there. In fact, you’d sometimes pull his hand down there yourself. But now you were putting a halt to that. The third and final thing that was a bit of a flag raiser to Harry was that you weren’t letting him shower with you. Normally you’d keep the door open if you didn’t mind him coming in or you’d even pull him into the bathroom with you. But instead, you were closing the door behind you and when Harry would try to come in, you’d close the door and tell him that you wanted to take this one by yourself. Harry was all for giving you your space and respecting your wishes, but he began to wonder if it was something that he had done. The last thing he ever wanted was to make you uncomfortable and cause you to distance yourself from him. He just wanted to love on you again and be close to his girl. That’s all. And after about a week and a half of you acting out of the ordinary, Harry decided that it was time to break the ice and figure out what was going on. 

He’d finished up taking care of some laundry that had to be done and all he wanted to do was relax with (and hopefully inside) you. Once he comes back into the bedroom, his eyes go straight to you. You were lying on the bed scrolling through your phone with one of his t-shirts on and a pair of sweats. Under normal circumstances you’d simply have his shirt on and a pair of panties. Harry makes his way over to the bed, crawls right across it, and right on top of you. When he does this, your attention is immediately diverted from your phone to him and you toss it beside you to focus on him. Instead of wasting any time, Harry goes straight in and pushes his lips down onto yours. Your arms then go around his neck to pull him down closer to you, and before you know it the two of you are locked into a make-out session that was getting to be a bit heated. As the kisses continue you feel Harry’s hand begin to wander a bit, he starts off by going down and under your shirt. At first you don’t pay it any mind. But after a couple squeezes to your breasts and to your waist, Harry’s hand migrate a it lower. It makes it’s way all the way down to the waistband of your sweats to which you quickly stop. Upon you stopping him in his tracks, Harry stops his movements against you all together and pulls himself up a bit. He then proceeds to sit back on your thighs, still keeping himself on top of you. 

“Harry you’re gonna crush me.” You whine, trying to push him off of you.

“Are you calling me fat?! Is my girlfriend seriously calling me fat?!” Harry shouts dramatically. 

“No…I’m saying that if a much heavy person sits on top of someone, then it is likely that the other person will be crushed.” You reason smartly. 

“Well if you don’t want to be crushed, you’re gonna have t’tell me what’s going on.” Harry bargains, crossing his arms over his chest and sending you a pointed look.

“Nothing’s going on, what are you talking about?” 

“You won’t let me touch you, you’re constantly wearing pants, and you’re not letting me save water with you.” He explains with a small pout. Once he says this, you immediately see what he’s getting at. When he sees you break the eye contact and falter a little bit, Harry decides to take a step back and be a bit more gentle with this one. He picks himself up from your thighs and shifts over onto the bed next to you, propping himself up on his elbow to keep his attention on you. “You can talk t’me about anything baby, m’always her to listen.” Harry reminds gently, bringing his free hand over to grab your hand.

“I know, and I love you for that. It’s just that- I haven’t shaved.” You rush out. Even though you weren’t in the most comfortable position, it was nice to finally say it. 

“That’s it?!” Harry asks, completely shocked.

“Mhm.” You quietly mumble, turning your head towards him to see his reaction.

“Babyyy!” Harry coos, swinging his leg onto the other side of you and falling back on top of your body. “That’s why you’ve been hidin’ from me?” Harry asks, looking down towards your slightly downcast face.

“I thought you’d be turned off by it.” You explain. “In the past, I was untouchable if I had hair down there.”

“M’so sorry baby. And you’re far from being untouchable! I could care less whether or not you have hair down there. All I want is you.” Harry affirms. “And if you like my bit of hair, then I love yours. I actually prefer it.” Harry continues, his voice coming to a whisper at the last part.

“For real!?” You ask, completely shocked at his response. 

“Yeah, but if you still want to shave I’m 1000% fine with that. I just want you to know that I love you. And since I love you, I love all of you, hair and all.” Harry reassures once more before leaning down to press a sweet kiss to your lips. “So does this mean I can touch you again, because I’ve been deprived of you for a whole week.” He needed you bad, it was a really long week.

“Yes Harry, my pussy is no longer in quarantine.” You huff amusedly at his question. He is such a boy. Well…a very mature boy. 

“Also, where are we at? Is it like a light layer, or full on 70’s pornstar?” Harry wonders. “I’m fine with either one…m’just wondering.” Harry quickly clarifies.  

“Why don’t you just investigate!” You give in dramatically, completely worn out by his interrogation.

“I will.” Harry replies excitedly, quickly moving himself from on top of you to between your legs to conduct his little investigation. And let’s just say that he was in love with his findings. 

From the moment Harry ripped off your sweats, he felt like he was in heaven. Not only because he was between your legs again, but also because he could see a couple curly little hairs poking out from beneath the lower bands of your panties. And once they came off, Harry thought he was going to faint. In that moment Harry was fully coming to terms with his pubic hair kink, and you hadn’t even achieved a full bush yet. You were absolutely stunning down there, hair or not, but Harry was completely loving the hair and he was really hoping that you wouldn’t shave it all off. That’s why from that point on, he made sure to give you everything he had so that you could be confident in his feelings. He wanted you to let yourself go and just enjoy the pleasure he had in store for you and not worry about whether or not your pubic hair is a turn on, because it definitely was. Harry loved everything about it

For starters, you were even wetter than usual. Normally you’d be sopping wet and your folds would be glistening and all sticky with your sweet arousal. Ever since you went back to just letting it grow and tidying it up a little, you managed to be even wetter. When your arousal formed, it would seep out of your hole and your hairs would collect it all. This meant that when Harry got between your legs, the cute little damp spot that would form in your panties was bigger, and it meant that your arousal covered all of you. Before he even touches your hole, he’d lick up all of your arousal. He’d lick and suck all of you until there was no more of your sticky and delicious arousal on those hairs. He would then pull your pussy apart and just lick into you like normal, except while he fucked you with his tongue, he’d tug on those curly hairs that clung to your pussy lips creating a little tension and only intensified the feeling of his tongue moving against you. While he was down there, Harry also loved pushing the hair back a bit to suck on your clit. He just loved how the hair would cover your little button, and he loved how it would peak through a bit if you were really on need of him.

The next thing that completely sucked Harry in was the way the hair felt against his cock. It was amazing to say the least. Before pushing into you, he’d always drag the head of his cock up and down your folds. Everything about it was incredible, even when he kind of humped you a little, pushing his cock up and down against you. And whenever he got all the way down to his balls, he’d make sure to circle around a little bit because he loved the way your hair felt against his sensitive balls. And then once he finally pushes inside, Harry really goes crazy. Not only is he pushing into your delicious cunt, he can also feel your hairs brushing against his shaft as he sinks into you. And as he fucks into you, it’s as heavenly, if not more heavenly than before. You’re still sopping wet and falling apart over his cock and you’re still tighter than he could wrap his head around. While he’s pounding you over and over again, along with his other tricks, Harry likes to just run a hand over your hairs. While pinching the upper flesh of your pussy, Harry likes to just play and pull at the hairs a little. As he does this, he also brings his hand lower and he lightly pulls at the hairs that are on either side of your spread pussy. Those are the super sensitive ones. Once it’s time for him to let go Harry always faces a problem. He can’t decide on where he wants to cum. He can’t get enough of flooding your tummy with his cum, but he also loves pulling out and cumming in your hair. Marking you was always a must for him. So after cumming a bit inside of you, which is a lot since Harry’s cock is like a volcano and just can’t stop spurting out his cum, he pulls out of you and pouts the rest out onto your hair. He liked seeing the hairs stick together with his cum and he loved seeing you stained with him. 

One final thing (of the many things) Harry loved about your pubic hair was that he got to play with it. Normally he’d slip his hand into your panties and just hold your pussy so to speak. He’d just cup you or squeeze your pussy lips or even tickle you a bit. Now that you let your hair grow, he got to play with your pussy and the hair. He got to push the tips of his fingers around and tug at your hair. He couldn’t get enough of just playing with you whenever the two of you were lounging around or something. He even caught you playing with your hair a couple times. And when he did, he would get all pouty and push your hand away so that he could play with it. He especially loved playing with your hair when he just came all over you. He loves to smear his cum all over you. He would even stick a finger inside your cum filled hole and smear the creamy substance on his finger all over you to mark your hair even more.

To put it simply, the both of you were in love with this newly discovered kink and it was really nice. It was very freeing too. 

Masterlist

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Andy Cavenaugh

(My shitty gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- Living in the middle of the desert was an interesting experience. You’d lived in the same home since you were born and yet there were still occupants of your town that you’d never seen or met; even though there was only a meager population of under 50.

- It was the sheer size of your state that did it. Everyone lived miles away from each other and any shop that was considered to be “nearby” was still at least a thirty minute drive so you only ever went into town a couple times a month. Which is how you met Andy.

- You’d driven into town with a list of supplies you’d needed and a wallet full of that months savings, ready to get your stuff and go as quickly as you could; hoping to get home before the sun rose all the way and baked you alive.

- Coincidentally, Andy was in town at the same time, loitering around the store you were attempting to shop at. You paid him no mind and went about your business until you were ready to check out.

- Once the shopkeep had rung you up, you found that you didn’t have enough money for all the things on your list and reluctantly told the man to keep something as he helped you pack up what you could afford.

- Andy watched the entire interaction from somewhere behind you as he pocketed whatever he felt like. Once you headed towards the doors of the building, he picked some cheap thing off the shelf and went to the checkout, watching you as you packed up your car.

- While the store clerk was preoccupied with the cash register, the boy snuck whatever you’d left behind into his jacket and waited another few moments for the man to hand him his actual purchase before he made his way outside.

- You were just about to get into your car when he came up to you, greeting you casually before he held out his hand and offered you the thing that you’d left behind. You looked at him in surprise before you thanked him and took it, shifting it to your other hand so that you could offer him yours in a handshake.

- The two of you introduced yourselves and he asked if you’d be interested in going out sometime. Since all you knew about him was that he was attractive and sweet enough to “buy” you the thing you couldn’t afford, you agreed and wrote down your number for him, telling him that it was nice meeting him and saying goodbye before you drove off. 

- He calls you a couple days later while out with his friends, a little liquid courage in his system and a bit of peer pressure from his buddies leading to his wonderful decision making. 

- You’re clueless and he thinks his friends will stick to their word of “heading out before you show”, which obviously doesn’t happen. You arrive and they’re still there, almost immediately inviting themselves to what was supposed to be your first date and making the night rather uncomfortable at times. 

- You can tell that your date is just as uncomfortable as you, but that doesn’t exactly make things any better. By the time the night ends, you’ve already decided that you’re probably just gonna count your losses and find a potential boyfriend elsewhere. 

- But fate seems to be on Andy’s side because the two of you find yourselves face to face a few days later. He gives you an apology, explaining everything before telling you that he’d like to see you again.

- It takes you a minute to decide but you finally agree and tell him that you’ll give it another shot, bringing up your own idea for a date in hopes that you won’t be bothered by his buddies again. He gives you a wide smile, asking when he should pick you up and thanking you genuinely just before he leaves.

- So, for your second date; though you like to consider it your first, the two of you go to whichever place you chose and wind up having a really nice time. He seems to be on his best behavior but his real personality shines through as well; and it’s one that you really enjoy.

- You probably give him a kiss on the cheek as a goodnight but the two of you share your first real kiss on your next date. You’d spent pretty much the entire night together and wound up parking off on the side of the road to stargaze for a while. 

- You were leaning against the hood of his car with him, looking up at the sky before your gaze shifted to the man beside you. He was preoccupied with watching the stars, leaving you to let your mind wander. 

“I’m glad we gave this another shot.” You said and watched as his focus shifted to you instead. 

- He gave you a smile and told you that he was too before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. 

- Congratulations, you caught yourself a firebird in the middle of the desert.

- Andy really doesn’t give a shit about how other people feel like 80% of the time, and he’s just a fan of affection in general, so there’s going to be a lot of Pda in your relationship; if you’ll allow it.

- Handholding. He likes keeping you close to him and making sure that you aren’t getting into any dangerous trouble; especially if you’re around his friends. Although he does wear his gloves a lot so; even though he gives you the occasional reassuring squeeze or strokes his thumb across your knuckles, you’ll most likely be feeling leather more than his skin.

- If someone’s kissing a face, it’s you. His lips are for your lips only, he doesn’t bother touching them to anything else; though he does enjoy when you kiss him on the cheek or jaw.

- Deep, slow kisses.

- He calls you honey or baby more than he calls you by your name. And as tough as he likes to pretend he is, he’d love to have you call him by pet names too.

- Cuddling is one of his favorite pastimes; he absolutely loves it. Most of the time, he’ll pull you in, pressing his cheek/jaw to your head and letting you lay right up against him, your head resting against his shoulder or in the crook of his neck.

- A lot of the time, he prefers to be loving in a more reserved way. He tends to show that he cares through his actions and by doing little things to make your life easier. Things like waking up early to put gas in your car or picking up things that you need from the store whenever he’s in town so that you don’t have to go.

- Sometimes, he’ll set up a sentence like he’s about to say something really sweet or you’ll ask him something expecting a cute response and he’ll just say something crude or lewd instead.

“How do I look.” He turns and looks at you, a smile gracing his face.

“Your tits look great.” He replies, barely holding in his laughter.

- He indulges you more than he cares to admit. He might occasionally act like he’s too cool but he’s too in love with you to say no and potentially make you sad.

- Tv dates. There ain’t shit else to do.

- Cruising around in his firebird; and sometimes parking somewhere to makeout.

- Going on road trips or long outings. There isn’t a whole lot to do in your town so you’ll occasionally take the long ride over to the next town in hopes of finding something fun.

- He’ll never tell you that he does but he always dodges potholes and bumpy areas during these trips so that he doesn’t wake you up while he’s driving.

- Driving out to the middle of the desert with a bundle of blankets to watch the sunrise; or stopping on the side of the road during one of your trips.

- Sitting with him while he works on his car.

- Going out into the desert to shoot or smash random junk. Vases, porcelain, tin cans; stuff like that.

- Playing pinball and other convenience store arcade games.

- Every now and again, he’ll get some money from his pops and take you out to a nice dinner; especially if it’s after the two of you are pushed into doing something you dont like and he can see that you’re upset. It’s usually because of Sam but he still feels the need to try and make it up to you and make sure that you aren’t gonna ghost him.

“Hey, why don’t we go and get some dinner,” he’ll say, a hint of nervous desperation in his voice as you walk out to his car. “You can get whatever you want. Dessert too.”

- It isn’t clear exactly how rich Andy actually is but it seems like he’s sort of embarrassed to have wealth in such a poor town. Because of this, I feel like he probably wouldn’t mention it and would try to dodge questions that would lead to him exposing the truth, maybe acting like he’s less wealthy than he is until Sam “outs” him and causes an awkward situation.

- Him stealing things for you. You’d much prefer if he just bought them but at least he doesn’t tell you whether or not he’s stolen it most of the time.

- Likes to fool around a lot; he’s rarely ever fully serious and he’s always trying to make you laugh.

- Can quote just about any western film you can name and does impressions of all the characters. He grew up on those sorts of things so he’s practically an expert by now.

- He likes messing with your stuff: putting on your clothes, using your mirror for random stuff, picking things up off your dresser and toying around with them, etc.

- My god, the change of character he has when he’s with his friends and you, compared to when he’s with his parents gives you whiplash. It’s hilarious seeing him lie and act like an angel during family dinners.

- His dad probably lectures him about manners whenever you’re with them: things like putting his elbows on the table, saying grace, how he treats you, etc. Its pretty amusing to see.

- He seems like a good guy who got mixed in with the wrong people. Sure, he enjoys a little chaos and trouble making like the rest of them but he doesn't like hurting people and you can tell from the way he acts afterward that he isn't proud; especially when you give him a look in the middle of the situation and sober him up.

- You’re dragged along with him and the boys a lot; or he’s forced to ditch you to hang out with them whenever Sam calls.

- Sam flirting with you. You know damn well that he’d make you compliment him or get you to agree with his praise of himself; and Andy would be miffed but unable to do anything besides listen to him while his knuckles whiten on his steering wheel.

- There aren’t a lot of people in your town for him to get jealous of but whenever there is, he does. Most of the time, it’s Sam or some flirtatious traveler but other times it’s your celebrity crushes or old boyfriends. He usually just bites his tongue or makes some kind of sarcastic, passive aggressive comment; it depends on who it is and how you’re reacting to them.

- He’s always looking over at you and making sure you’re alright whenever he can; especially when you’re out with his friends. He knows that getting into the trouble that they do can be dangerous and he doesn’t want anything happening to you just because Sam doesn’t know when to stop.

- The two of you get into a lot of arguments but they’re rarely ever serious. You mostly just bicker before the two of you give up and decide that it’s a pointless fight.

- Whenever you do have an argument, one that he causes and upsets you with, he always feels guilty and finds himself unable to stay mad at you. He might not verbally apologize but he will try to make it up to you in some way and tell you that he’s sorry.

- He’s not big on saying he loves you but he does say it on occasion; and definitely shows it more than he says it.

- The two of you probably get engaged on a whim a bit too early into your relationship but he’s promising to take you out of that desert city and along with him to Hollywood so the ring is a nice symbol of that oath. 

[babyminssii]

(I accidentally posted this ask earlier before getting to finish it lol so these are screen shots of your ask anon)

Im just gonna say sorry in advance for this answer being so long but LORD do i have a lot to say here. Also this is all my opinion and you don’t have to agree, cause clearly I don’t agree with everyone else.

Personally i think most armys went into this interview with a bias against corden already because of what happened. And instead of just enjoying the interview like previous years, they began picking apart every interaction and every facial expression, turning it into something it wasn’t. The baby mochi thing has always been cringe, but it was light hearted and army’s ate it up before this whole debacle went down. They definitely played up the reunion but i felt like it was because it’s been so long seeing them in person, not really them trying to cover up what happened.

I went back and watched the full 10 minute interview again just to make sure I wasn’t overlooking anything. I even went through their previous interviews with him to see if i saw anything extremely different between them and i have to be honest, i didn’t. I’d say the only difference would be that they haven’t been with him in person in years. This was also their 1st english interview in front of a live studio audience since before the pandemic started (correct me if i’m wrong). I’m sure the lot of them were nervous and/or anxious to be in front of armys again and that’s perfectly normal. JK even stated in the interview that he was nervous that day.

Every talk show and skit is scripted on tv, that shouldn’t come to a surprise to anyone. I definitely believe it was planned beforehand to talk about the incident to give james a chance to clear up what happened. And really more for the audience and not the boys. However i think the whole thing did shake james a bit with how violent toxic army is, and so he was trying his best to explain what happened without stepping on anymore toes. And truly i believe RM was the same way, he tried to point out james’s apology (even though he was just explaining what happened) for his sake so they can move passed it. He said so himself it was to clear the air. I didn’t see any of that as RM calling him out.

Then i rewatched and made sure to focus on JM. I even watched all the fan clips of them filming the crosswalk concert as well as some of james’ other interviews with different celebrities. And truly i think fans (mostly jikookers) are seriously projecting here. Like in the worst way. In my opinion, these fans were more uncomfortable with james touching JM than JM was.

I’m gonna state here that many of us have observed a change in behavior with JM. We see sometimes he seems more shy, more reserved, more quiet. We don’t know why at this time, but it’s been a popular topic recently. He’s still in that phase at the moment so i feel whatever uncomfortableness that may have shown through had to do with getting too much of the focus.

JM was in the hot seat. By this i mean he was RIGHT next to james and by default james was directing a lot of his attention towards him when he was speaking because JM was right there. If you look at previous interviews with RM in JM’s spot, he did the same thing with him. So that alone would be a lot of pressure especially since he’s not as fluent in english as RM is.

I noticed james likes to sit closer to his guests (beside the couch not behind his desk) when interviewing and he tends to place his hands out in front of him alot or on the arm rest of the couch when he speaks. Usually his guests have more room on the couch so they aren’t right in that space. JM was literally right there and his arm was resting on the arm rest a lot of the time, so i think most of the touches at the beginning of the interview were normal. And i’m sure they had JM play up the baby mochi roll a bit, but he also was reaching out, patting james’ back and also holding his hand for a sec when he was explaining what happened with army.

I agree that he seemed to get more “uncomfortable” or shy as the interview progressed, but again I don’t really think it had to do with james touching him. I think it had more to do with the focus being on him and his body. He was fine and flexing cutely before tae made the suggestion to touch his thighs. Of course james is gonna ask permission for that, because if that segment was discussed beforehand I don’t think touching his thigh was part of it, so he had to make sure it was okay (And he literally tapped his thigh quickly, not full on groped it). People automatically assumed he didn’t have permission to touch JM at all prior to asking that, but how the heck would we even know that? If the thigh moment was spontaneous then it makes complete sense to ask permission before doing it.

I believe JM just became more shy at that point and was done with the focus being on his body. He was doing his nervous/shy laugh when he sat down and RM asked him if he was okay. Then he took a big breath to collect himself. We saw him do the same thing in his UN speech, and he even held his heart after he spoke english in his amas acceptance speech. He’s been getting more nervous these days and I think many forgot he recently described himself as introverted. But literally right after that moment, when james was saying thank you and ending the interview JM quietly said “thank you papa mochi” and placed his hand on james’ back again. Then he went straight for the longest hug ever at the very end. To me none of that screamed he was not okay with being touched by him. Just nervous for having so much spotlight.

And finally we move on to JK. This is where i feel like jikookers we’re projecting the most. Because they were SO sure JM was uncomfortable with being touched that of course JK had a problem with it. I went through the video with my focus only on JK and i just couldn’t see any big changes in his expressions when that moment happened. He said he was nervous and i felt like if anything that was evident. He did look when the thigh moment happened but I didn’t see any negative reactions there. I just don’t see what other jikookers are seeing.

And a big reason i feel like they are projecting their own discomfort with the situation onto JM, is because i find it very hypocritical. Some of these people are the same ones who say he’s a grown man that can do what he wants when it comes to defending the company, but all of a sudden with this situation he can’t speak or stand up for himself? We get on taekookers for constantly misreading every situation involving JM and yet here they are doing the same thing just cause they don’t like the host. But again that’s just my opinion, make with it what you will.

[telli1206]

(Per our discussion 😘) It's summer, but Carlos tends to layer up. He falls asleep after a long day out while Jay's in the shower or something, so Jay decides to tuck him in like that and go to bed, but then Carlos starts getting wiggly b/c he's way overheated btwn. his clothes, the blankets, and Jay being a human furnace, so Jay tries to wake him up to get him to strip down so they can both be in peace, but Carlos doesn't wake up and Jay thinks he's faking, so he starts to help things along. 😉

Finally getting the inspo to write this one @hersilentlanguage​, so I hope it was worth the wait 😁

WARNING: Mild smut with sexual implications

Jay grunts and jolts suddenly from the feel of a sharp pain under his arm. He blinks furiously to coax the sleep out of his eyes, the fog in his brain too deep to even register what’s happening.

Not that he really needs to, he kind of already knows what’s going on. It’s always the same person who’s to blame for his shittiest nights of sleep.

Jay should be angry. Fuck, he has every right to be. Is there anything worse than being ripped from a deep sleep by a physical attack? He can’t think of anything. Still, he just sighs and rubs at his side. If he didn’t love the boy so damn much, there’d be nothing stopping him from grabbing him and just chucking him off the bed. And yet...

Auradon may have made him soft, just a little bit. But he’s pretty sure Carlos Oscar De Vil was already well on his way to turning Jay into a teddy bear anyway.

He reaches for the culprit of his pain, managing to curl his fingers around a sock-covered foot before another jab has him wincing and scooting back, positioning himself away from another attack.

“Fuck, ‘Los,” he moans, still gripping tightly to his boyfriend’s foot. “You can be a little shit, you know that?”

Carlos starts to mumble unintelligibly, his nose scrunching adorably as the utter nonsensicals spill from his lips. He’s moving as he tries to talk, his body shifting and wriggling it’s way up the bed, jerking out of Jay’s grasp. He kicks up Jay’s side, bit by bit, scurrying his lithe body upwards until it lands flat and flush against their headboard.

Jay sighs, watching as Carlos finally settles just above his head. His new position on the hard wood of their headboard looks terribly uncomfortable, and Carlos must subconsciously agree as he clearly continues to squirm, batting Jay repeatedly on top of his head with the billow of his sleeve in the process.

“Carlos!” Jay tries again, his voice hushed but firm. He grabs at the sleeve in his face and tugs, but Carlos simply rolls the other way, pressing his body onto the wood with a discontented hum.

Jay huffs as he props himself up on his forearms and turns fully to face Carlos. His plans of going to sleep at the moment have gone to shit, so he may as well try to get Carlos situated again. His best shot at a proper night’s sleep anyway is when he’s wrapped around his favorite warm body, his face pressed into Carlos’ soft expanse of white curls.

So he’s doing this for both of them, really.

Jay carefully snakes an arm under Carlos, moving slowly to keep from jostling him too much and potentially waking him. Once he can reach, he wraps both arms around Carlos and pulls him into his chest, holding him tightly and remaining as motionless as possible, hopeful that the few movements aren’t enough to cause him to stir.

To Jay’s surprise, Carlos hardly startles. Actually, he hardly moves at all. Definitely not what he expected.

He decides to loosen his grip to check on Carlos, and Carlos surprises Jay again by spinning slowly to face him. Though his eyes are pinched closed, Jay can still hear his soft mumblings, coming and going lightly with each breath.

“‘Los?” Jay leans in closer, pressing their foreheads together as he tries to focus on his boyfriend’s words.

Carlos moans at the contact and pushes in even closer so they’re practically cheek to cheek. He’s slick with sweat, and Jay can feel the dampness and heat radiating off of him. Jay reaches over to cup Carlos’ cheek, running his fingers gingerly over the moist skin.

“Fuck, I’m sorry pup,” he sighs, pulling back. “I shouldn’t have let you sleep in all this shit. It’s way too hot.” He thumbs at the zipper of Carlos’ hoodie with one hand while his other moves to Carlos’ head, gently pushing his red beanie back until it slides off and drops behind them and onto the floor.

Despite today being sunny and warm, Carlos had opted to layer up his clothing as usual, throwing Jay’s hoodie and beanie on over his shorts and t-shirt. It’s a habit that Carlos just can’t seem to shake. But, after years of Carlos feeling that he needs to hide...both his imperfections and his existence as a whole, no one had really expected for him to change that overnight.

Besides, Jay is more than happy to see Carlos wearing his clothes. He doesn’t want to look possessive, but, he really is. Especially when it comes to Carlos. He’s been dying to claim the cute freckled boy since they met, and it finally feels safe, normal even, to do that in Auradon. So he’ll gladly take every chance he can get to show that Carlos is...well...his.

It’s not like anyone is complaining about it anyway. Carlos is fucking adorable when he’s in clothes that are too big for him. That’s just common knowledge.

Still, Carlos overdid it with the layers today. And Jay scolds himself for being a lazy boyfriend and just dropping Carlos in bed to sleep instead of helping him change first into something less...suffocating.

He’s definitely paying for that choice now.

Carlos gasps when the beanie falls away and exposes his head to the cool air of their room. He tips his head back to shake out his matted down curls, relaxing back into Jay with a sigh of relief and resting his head on Jay’s shoulder.

“Does that feel good, pup? Do you want me to take off a little more? Cool you off?”

Jay reaches for Carlos’ zipper again, dragging it down slowly just an inch or so and then stops, waiting for Carlos’ reaction.

“Just say ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Whatever you want I’ll do it. I just wanna help you sleep.”

Carlos is quiet, his head unmoving from Jay’s shoulder. Jay breathes soft and shallow, his hand still frozen at Carlos’ zipper as he listens for any type of response from him. But the silence hangs in the air for over a minute, and Jay is starting to wonder exactly how deeply his boyfriend may be sleeping.

Finally, Carlos starts to shift, moving his hips slightly to bring his body even closer to Jay’s. He drapes a leg across Jay’s waist as he tilts his head up to bring his lips to Jay’s ear. He doesn’t speak, instead choosing to kiss his way down the shell of Jay’s ear, stopping only to tug at Jay’s lobe with his teeth.

“Pupppp,” he moans, biting down hard on his lip to muffle the sound. His hands fly to Carlos’ hips, squeezing tightly as Carlos’ kissing continues its way down his jaw to his neck.

“I didn’t think undressing you would get you in the mood that easy, but I’m not gonna complain,” Jay chuckles. But his laughter fades away with his breath when Carlos bites down on the junction of his neck and starts to suck at his most sensitive spot.

Jay chokes, his mind numbing with pleasure as he starts to fumble for Carlos’ hoodie again, this time grabbing the zipper roughly and ripping it down. Carlos is still latched to his neck as he pushes the sleeves down, quickly freeing Carlos of his hoodie and dropping it to the floor to join his beanie.

When Carlos’ mouth finally detaches from Jay, he takes the opportunity to dip down and kiss over Carlos’ collarbone, letting his hands glide down Carlo’s t-shirt as he does so. When he reaches the bottom he hooks his fingers under the hem, pulling away for only a second to tug it over Carlos’ head and toss it aside.

Carlos hums his approval, his eyes still closed but his mouth spread wide in his most pleased smile. He looks utterly content when Jay starts to kiss fervently over the newly exposed freckled skin of Carlos’ chest, flushed and warm under his lips.

Jay smiles against Carlos’ shuddered breaths, his body responding almost desperately for more of Jay’s touch. And Jay is eager to please. He kisses his way down Carlos’ stomach, reaching for the button of his shorts as his mouth descends closer. Within seconds he has them unbuttoned and unzipped, and they’re off and on the ground before Carlos can react.

Not that he would. He’s already distracted himself with the skin of Jay’s neck, scraping his teeth along it and mouthing lightly at Jay’s pulse.

Jay is encouraged further by Carlos’ moans, hot and tingly against his skin. He snakes both of his hands down the back of Carlos’ boxers, grazing along skin that’s too soft, and feels too delicious against his own. He stops to  playfully squeeze at firm cheeks, as perfect and perky as he’s ever had the pleasure of touching. He peppers kisses at Carlos’ shoulder, massaging tenderly with his hands before lifting his arms to slide the material down--

“Uh. Um. J-Jay?”

Jay stills in his movements. “Yeah, Pup?”

He shifts backwards, his eyes searching for Carlos’ in the dim twilight. But when their gazes meet, Jay can feel guilt pooling in his gut.

Carlos’ eyes are wide...confused. There’s no recognition in his features at all, no indication left of the passion he and Jay were engaging in just moments ago. Jay releases his grip when he feels Carlos start to squirm, sliding his hands out of Carlos’ boxers and urging some space between their bodies.

“Are we...is th-this...”

Jay winces at the uncertainty in Carlos’ tone. His brow furrows, unable to hide his worry.

“Shit ‘Los, I’m sorry. I thought you were...I thought we were...were you not, into it? Evil, if I did something you didn’t want, I swear I didn’t mean to-”

Carlos puts a finger to Jay’s lips to end his ramblings. Jay complies, laying silent as he stares into Carlos’ deep brown eyes. They’re more alert now, but laced with softness, and they stare back at Jay with an intensity that’s making his heart constrict and his breath hitch. When the finger is dragged away from Jay’s lips, Carlos is quick to replace it with a tentative kiss, light and airy with barely a brush of contact.

“Jay.”

Jay opens his eyes, unsure as to when he even closed them. Carlos is smiling at him now, bright and toothy and so, so beautiful. Jay silently hopes his damn eyelids didn’t deny him of this for too long. Every single one of Carlos’ smiles is his favorite thing in the world.

“Jay,” Carlos repeats, brushing his fingers across Jay’s cheek. “Are you good now? I swear, you’re too damn sweet for your own good sometimes.”

Jay blinks and blinks, his face blank as tries to understand what he thinks he heard.

“Too...sweet?”

Carlos shakes his head and laughs. With a swing of his hips, he flips Jay onto his back and rolls on top of him. When Carlos sits up, he’s straddling Jay’s waist and looking into surprised eyes. He smirks and flicks a finger to Jay’s chin, snapping shut his slightly agape expression.

“I thought I was dreaming, Jay. That’s all. I know you’d never mean to do anything I didn’t want to. I’d never think that. You’re so good to me.”

Jay exhales, grinning up at Carlos, who leans in for another kiss.

“Ok, thanks pup. I-”

He’s cut off by Carlos squeezing his face and pressing a kiss down firmly onto his pursed lips.

“Besides,” he mumbles against Jay’s mouth, “Who the hell would complain about waking up to their dreams coming true?”

Carlos slips his hands underneath Jay’s shirt, splaying them out as he sits back upright with a cocky grin.

“Now, can you fill me in on what we were doing? Because I’d like to continue.”

[welcometothemxdhouse]

Lectures

Hello again wow me writing two things in one week? shocking!

Anyways this is something i promised my boo @feedthemadness-sweetie​ as a result of us considering what Chilton would be like as a professor...so i hope you like it :)

I might write a part 2 i don’t know...maybe...also this is gender-neutral.

WARNINGS: none really...oh this is insanely unprofessional and a bit fucked up so idk lmao don’t kiss your professors. 

Gif by: @prurientpuddlejumper​ ❤

You were sat in the uncomfortable, plastic chair pulling out your laptop when the door to the lecture hall opened. The tapping of a metal cane against the floor made every student in the room fall silent. Your professor, Doctor Chilton, wasn’t exactly known for his patience and hospitality when it came to teaching and his entire demeanour just signalled he believed himself to be far superior to anybody else who could possibly arrive in his classroom. It was for this reason that students tended to avoid the doctor as much as possible, keeping their heads down with only the occasional snarky comment about his thousand dollar suits or his arrogant approach to teaching. You, however, were slightly infatuated with Doctor Chilton.

You watched from over your screen as Chilton strode across the hall and settled behind his desk.

“If you stare any longer you’re gonna burn a hole into his back”

You turned to your right to see your best friend settling into their seat, only slightly startled out of your daydream. They were smirking at you as you shifted uncomfortably and muttered “I wasn’t staring.”

“Sure you weren’t, kid, sure you weren’t” they laughed, twisting in their chair to see who had actually bothered to turn up to the lecture. As you did the same you noticed a few people whispering pointedly in Doctor Chilton’s direction, which caused a small knot to form in your stomach. You knew there was no way he wasn’t aware of the things people said about him.

The lecture went by as slowly as ever-the clock seemed to enjoy playing tricks on you when you were most desperate to get home. Your final exams were looming over the horizon and you were more than stressed about their presence. When at last Doctor Chilton decided he had tortured you all enough he dismissed everyone to mutters about him running over time and being a pretentious asshole. You stood up, stretched your legs and quickly packed your things back into your bag to keep up with your best friend-who was equally in need of a very strong coffee before your next class.

“Y/N”, you paused, “i would like to speak to you please.”

You turned on your heels, letting go of the door handle after your friend had passed through with the promise to pick up your coffee order for you and bring it to the seminar you had in 10 minutes. You walked towards your professor’s desk and stood, aimless and clueless, on the other side as he began gathering his own belongings and raised a finger in a wait motion. With his focus elsewhere you allowed yourself a few seconds to take in his look. He was wearing dark three-piece suit with a white shirt. His hair was gelled back and his stubble was well-kept. In fact the only indication of any personality or life story behind the layers of expensive fabrics and grooming products was the circular scar on his cheek that was partially covered by poorly-applied concealer. Most people knew how the infamous Doctor Frederick Chilton got his scar and your mind screamed with how much you wanted to run your thumb over it and reassure him he had no reason to hide it. The grating sound of the chair being pushed backwards pulled you from your daydreams. When he stood up you didn’t miss the way his eyes dragged themselves up your form. You would never admit it to yourself, (or anyone else for that matter), but you had developed just a small habit of making yourself look a little more presentable on the days you knew you had a lecture with Doctor Chilton. You had left the classic stressed and sleep-deprived student style behind and substituted it for the clothes that clung to your form a little tighter and highlighted your assets-much to the joy of your best friend who took delight in laughing at you for the fact. 

“Can I help you, sir? you asked, still unsure as to why you were made to stay behind.

“You are aware that your exams are soon, yes?” He said, more as a statement than a question, as he began to round his desk to stand in front of you. You were slightly offended he would even ask that considering it was the only thought consuming your mind for the past month. 

“Yes sir?”

“And you believe you are ready for them?”

You thought about this for a second and wondered if anybody could ever really be ‘ready’ for exams. But you had studied hard and you knew your own abilities.

“I hope so, sir” 

Doctor Chilton stepped forward so he was now within touching distance of you. You took a nervous, deep breath and god he smelt so good. You ran your hand through your hair and pulled your bottom lip between your teeth-both nervous habits but ironically convenient for the current situation-and looked into the hazel eyes of the man stood in front of you. You opened your mouth to ask him, again, why you were there but he quickly interrupted you:

“Do you think I don’t notice the way you stare at me?”

You stumbled on your breath, dumbfounded and confused, and tried to think of something to say. Right in that moment the only thing your brain could conjure was: SHIT! Before you had the chance to comprehend what was happening he rested his cane against the front of his desk and stepped forward again. His hand reached towards your waist before stopping and hovering between the two of you. His eyes flickered down to your lips and back up again.

“Can I?” He whispered.

Your hand left its place on your bag and wrapped your fingers gently around his wrist, pulling his hand towards you until it settled on your hip. A simple, muttered “Yes” was all it took before the doctor plunged forwards and captured your lips with his. The kiss was everything you had dreamed of, (and you definitely had dreamed on more than one occasion). His lips were soft and you tasted the strong coffee he had been drinking as your tongue explored his mouth. His other hand slid up your neck and tangled itself in your hair and he smiled against your mouth as you moaned louder than you had intended at the light tug he gave on the back of your head. He began to spin you until your lower back was resting against his desk and tilted your head so he could trail kisses down your jaw and your neck. He listened to your heavy breaths and quiet whimpers with a smug smile and a growing tightness in his trousers. After a few seconds, you reached up to rest your hands on his chest and reluctantly pushed him gently away, out of breath and slightly shocked. You wanted nothing more than to let him bend you over that stupid desk and leave with the feeling of his release sliding down your thighs. You shivered at the thought.

“I have a seminar, sir” you sighed. You enjoyed the way his eyes darkened momentarily at the nickname you had adopted for him and you made a mental note to remember it. He grabbed his cane from the desk beside you and rested his weight on it so he could stand upright. His chest heaved and his eyes drifted to the floor. He almost looked sad...or embarrassed. You would find out later that he believed that the kiss had changed your mind and you had decided he wasn’t what you wanted-even the thought of it would break your heart. You grabbed your long-forgotten bag with one hand and fixed your hair with the other, completely unsure of what to do or say now. Of course you didn’t want this to be a one-time thing but you were also starkly aware that not only had he only acknowledged your interest in him, he was also your goddamn professor. 

“I...I’ll see you next week...i guess?” You stammered, backing slowly towards the door. You were already late for your seminar and he knew that too, so there was little point in faking a rush. Doctor Chilton’s stare bore heavy into you with an emotion you couldn’t quite interpret and you almost turned away and ran, until he spoke just as you reached the door:

“My office hours are 2PM to 4PM, if you’d like to drop by?”

It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out that you’d take him up on the offer. 

[flightfoot]

Divergent Points: Miraculer

AO3

Alya tossed and turned, groaning.

After some time (it felt like it must’ve been HOURS, but the clock said that only twenty minutes had passed. At this point she wondered whether Bunnix was messing with her), she sat up. 

Fumbling around for her light switch, she finally found it and flicked it, flooding the room with light. 

TOO. MUCH. LIGHT.

Instantly she buried her face underneath the covers again, squeezing her eyes shut until they’d adjusted to that small amount of light.

After a moment she removed the blanket from her face, a little at the time to allow for her eyes to adjust, wincing as the brightness assaulted her eyelids.

See, THIS was why she either stayed up super late or slept through until morning, when light was already creeping in and her eyes were adjusted to at least a little of it.

Unfortunately, her brain had refused to cooperate.

“Kit?” A sleepy voice asked.

Alya looked up to the space she’d cleared out on her bookshelf for the little kwami. “...you remember that salt universe I and the others got dragged into a few months ago?”

Trixx nodded. “Tikki was worried, but I knew you would break out of it. Any Holder of mine learns how to tell when illusions and trickery are afoot.”

Alya smiled, reaching out to scratch behind Trixx’s ears. The little fox gave a small giggle, wagging his tail.

“I was just remembering some stuff that happened there,” she said, curling her knees up against her chest. 

Trixx cuddled up against her, rubbing against her cheek. “You’re safe now. Everyone is. That entity has gone elsewhere, and I can’t see her returning - not after Marinette sent her packing!”

Alya shook her head. “That’s not it. I mean… I feared that for a while and I kept on having flashbacks, but they’ve gone way down - especially with Lila gone.”

She may not have been responsible for what went on in that world, but Alya’s subconscious had still decided to latch onto her as a trigger, causing her extreme anxiety whenever she focused on Lila for too long. So she was pretty glad when Lila’s mother moved embassies again, taking her daughter with her. Part of her felt a little sorry for Lila for being forced to move such a short time after she’d gotten therapy, opened up and started presenting herself a little more honestly to people.

Most of her was just relieved.

Some of her classmates would stay in touch with her. Others never forgave her for deceiving them.

But at this point, it wasn’t something she needed to concern herself with. Lila could form her own future.

While Alya felt like the dark cloud that had been hanging over hers had evaporated.

“That’s not the problem,” she told Trixx. “Not this time.”

Trixx frowned. “Then what?”

Alya drummed her fingers against her bedframe. “One of the things that world showed me, one of the scenarios, was that weird flip between me and Chloe, with me becoming a bully and her turning into Marinette’s best friend and staunchest ally. One of the ways I - or Rena, I guess? that part of myself - pointed out the flaws in that scenario was by calling attention to how that scenario ignored how Chloe treated her ‘best friend’ in reality, that a lot of how that universe twisted me, tried to control me, what it tried to make me into, more closely resembled Chloe than it did myself. Especially with how it made me treat Marinette the way Chloe treated Sabrina - at least before the universe claimed that I ‘turned’ on Marinette.

“Pulling at that thread worked. It created a chink in the universe’s armor that I could use to unravel it the rest of the way. But it didn’t help the real Sabrina at all.”

Trixx’s eyes widened in understanding. “And with what happened today…”

Alya nodded. “Seeing Sabrina akumatized over Chloe again reminded me of their relationship. I generally see Chloe disparaging Sabrina less nowadays - actually, come to think of it, Chloe’s not going out of her way to be mean in general - ever since she became Queen Bee formally and had other things to focus on. But that doesn’t mean their relationship is anywhere near healthy.”

“Do you have a plan?”

Alya bit her lip. “...Maybe. I remember Marinette mentioning that she tried to get Sabrina to stand up for herself at some point. Obviously it didn’t work, but maybe she has some insight…”

-------

Marinette made a face. “Good luck.”

Alya tilted her head. “It went down that badly with Sabrina?”

“Not at first. Actually, it went a little TOO well,” Marinette said. “I pointed out that Chloe was taking advantage of Sabrina, making her do all the work, and that I’d rather have NO friends than be friends with Chloe.”

Her face fell slightly. “That last part I’d take back now.  I’d always just slotted her in as a bully who existed to make my life miserable. Chloe can be awful sometimes - okay, a lot of the time - but… well, she has some reason for being the way she is. And as Ladybug, I’ve gotten to see a side of her I never knew existed. She really wants to prove herself to be valuable and useful, for other people to see her that way. I think she has some pretty bad abandonment issues from her mother leaving. Her mom disparaging her constantly and treating her like dirt didn’t help.”

“Do you think we could talk to Chloe about treating Sabrina better?” Alya asked. “Or at least, that you could. She listens to you, at least when you’re Ladybug.”

Marinette looked uncomfortable. “I dunno… I want her to be a better person, but I’m not sure that Ladybug coming in and just telling her that she needs to be nicer is gonna work. She didn’t seem that happy with me last night, and anyway, it takes more than that to get someone to change their personality and habits, the way they’ve interacted with the world for most of their life.”

“Oh yeah, Adrien tried that before, didn’t he?” Alya recalled. 

Marinette nodded. “It made her give an effort for awhile, but if the only reason someone’s being nicer is to avoid punishment… it’s not likely to last. And I don’t think Adrien wants to dangle his friendship with her over her head.”

Alya grimaced. She’d been through that situation before when she was younger, before she’d even hit the double digits. Some of the neighborhood kids she was friends with liked to use the line “if you don’t do [X], I won’t be friends with you anymore!”

Being so young, she believed they were serious, until her mom convinced her that it wasn’t worth following their commands if they were going to make it an ultimatum like that. 

Sure enough, an hour later her friend was at the door apologizing and they became friends again.

She’d tried using that line on Alya a couple more times, but at that point Alya knew she wasn’t serious and that she wouldn’t want to be friends with her if she was, and she gradually stopped using it.

Adrien may have had a far better reason for his ultimatum, but it still felt icky to her. She wouldn’t want to use that ultimatum on Chloe constantly either - on anyone really.

“That’s fair,” Alya said. “I wouldn’t want him to, either.”

“I’m hoping that with her mom back she doesn’t feel so abandoned,” Marinette continued. “And I’ve tried to reinforce when she does something good, like after Malediktator with celebrating Queen Bee. But, well… she just doesn’t do that very often.” She looked down. “I want to help her be better, I KNOW she can be better, especially with some of the stories Adrien’s told me of when the two of them were younger. But I can’t just- just MAKE her treat people better, to be someone who people WANT to spend time around.”

“That’s not your responsibility, you know that, right?” Alya pointed out. “She’s her own person. Whatever she does, it’s not on you.”

Marinette sighed. “I know, I know. Same goes for you too, though.”

Alya laughed. “We’re quite the pair huh? Both of us have a habit of sticking our noses in other people’s business.”

“Like a certain girl who, in her first few minutes at a new school, stood up to the resident bully for a girl she didn’t even know?” Marinette teased.

“I don’t like seeing people be picked on.” Alya said, putting her arm around Marinette. “Especially since, well… I’d just moved here. I was trying to decide who I wanted to be. Seeing Chloe putting you down like that? I decided that the person I wanted to be was someone brave. Someone who fought for the innocent. Who stood up when they saw an injustice, if they thought they could help. Whose primary concern was helping those in trouble.”

She winced. “I won’t pretend I’ve always been perfect about it, but… it’s an ideal I strive towards.”

“Not like you’re the only one,” Marinette told her. “Remember at Adrien’s party?”

Alya blinked. “What about it?”

Marinette rubbed the back of her neck. “Remember how, uh, conveniently the record the Bubbler was playing changed?”

“Wait, that was you?!”

Marinette laughed, chagrinned. “I didn’t like Chloe and Adrien dancing together.”

“To be fair, I don’t think he liked it either,” Alya said. 

“Probably not,” Marinette agreed. “But… well, I’d be lying if I said that was my main motivation for changing the song.”

Alya snorted. “I’ve helped with your plans, girl. I KNOW.”

Marinette’s smile faded. “Unfortunately I don’t know what else can be done about Chloe, or even Chloe and Sabrina’s relationship.”

“What DID end up happening with Sabrina?” Alya asked. “You never finished telling that story. Obviously their fallout didn’t last.”

“Chloe tried to tempt her with a beret she’d bought, which she actually seemed to be considering until Evillustrator attacked. Kiiiinda had higher priorities at that point.”

“Yeah, being chased with a giant hair dryer tends to do that.”

Marinette laughed. “That it does. Sabrina caught up with me later at my house to work on the project. She actually did my geography homework for me. Unfortunately I didn’t have time to work on it right then, what with the fake date I set up with Evillustrator.”

“Still can’t believe you did that,” Alya said.

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “This from the girl whose immediate thought when seeing a supervillain was, ‘Ooh, I should bike after them so I can film whatever superhero shows up’?”

“Touché.”

“Sabrina immediately took offense when I told her I was busy,” Marinette continued. “Saying that Chloe used that excuse all the time and that the two of us are really similar, that I probably expected her to do all the work, too. I tried to protest, but she’d already made up her mind, grabbing the homework she’d done for me and stalking off. Next time I saw her she was with Chloe again, wearing the beret Chloe’d tempted her with earlier and delivering Chloe’s completed homework to her, calling her her BFF again. Basically, everything was back to normal.”

“I don’t get it,” Alya said, squinting as if that could help make things clearer. “If she thought that you were acting like Chloe - and I’ve seen Chloe, she’s WAY ruder about it - why would that make her think Chloe’s great? And why was that enough to drive her away so quickly? You’d only brushed her off once. Chloe does it regularly.”

Marinette shrugged. “I couldn’t figure that out myself. Maybe because she knew Chloe would take her back? I’d never really paid much attention to Sabrina and Chloe’s relationship before, I was more concerned with just trying to stay away from them so I didn’t fall into Chloe’s cross-hairs.”

“Hmmm…”

That sort of made sense, but… she really didn’t know whether Sabrina thought like that. What her mindset was in general. How she could be okay with just following after Chloe and doing whatever she was told to, with having THAT unequal of a “friendship”. 

Maybe a little more reconnaissance was needed…

But who else could she ask? 

Chloe?

Maybe, but she wasn’t exactly eager to talk to her. Probably wouldn’t get anything useful, either.

But there was one other person she knew who Sabrina was close to...

“Thanks, Marinette, you’ve been a big help.”

“You know of some way to help their relationship?” Marinette asked.

Alya shook her head. “Not yet. But I have an idea for who to ask next.”

------

Alya scanned the park.

Hm, where were they…

A shadow from above flew over the park. 

Ah!

Craning her neck, she took a closer look.

Small? Check.

Grey? Check.

Followed by swarms of other birds heading the same direction? Check.

All converging on…

She looked down at a figure sitting on a park bench, feeding the pigeons.

A lot of people were at least somewhat familiar with Mr. Ramier by now. Kinda had to be, considering that Hawkmoth wouldn’t leave the poor guy alone.

“You know you’re banned from this park,” a stern voice called out.

Alya grimaced. Hawkmoth wasn’t the only one who wouldn’t leave Mr. Ramier alone. Granted, he WAS breaking the rules, but Roger could still give him some slack.

Well she was aiming to talk to Roger anyway, maybe she could spare Ladybug and Chat Noir having to fight Mr Pigeon yet AGAIN.

(Seriously she was beginning to think Hawkmoth had a crush on Mr. Ramier with how much he liked akumatizing the guy, even though he’d become less and less of a threat every time).

Waving her hands, she sprinted over to Roger and Mr. Ramier, just as Roger was starting in on his usual spiel.  “Monsieur Roger?” she asked. “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

He waved her off. “After I’m done telling this criminal AGAIN that he’s not allowed in the park.”

“It’s about your daughter.”

Roger’s head shot up. “Sabrina? What’s wrong? Is she hurt?”

Alya shook her head. “No… well, not physically anyway. That’s what I want to talk to you about. Because I DO think she’s hurt, just… emotionally.”

Roger looked back at Mr. Ramier. He sighed, adjusting his cap before looking at Alya again. “Alright, miss. What’s going on with my daughter?”

“You know how she’s friends with Chloe, right?”

Roger grinned. “Of course! I’m so proud of her. Sabrina really follows the family motto. ‘Protect and serve,’ that’s what I always say! She’s always looking after anything Chloe needs, whether it’s homework help, tea, or anything else! They’re such close friends.”

Oooookay, she was beginning to see why Sabrina didn’t see anything wrong with her relationship with Chloe.

“Uh… Roger… you know that relationship’s really one-sided, right?” Alya asked awkwardly. “…have you paid attention to how Chloe treats Sabrina?”

Roger shrugged. “I know Chloe depends on Sabrina a lot. Sure she can be a little rough around the edges, but she still cares about her. She just shows she cares through presents, while Sabrina shows how she cares by helping her.”

Well… okay, that made SOME sense. Different people had different ways of showing they cared. But Roger was missing a really important piece of the picture.

“She might care about Sabrina on some level,” Alya admitted begrudgingly. “But she still treats her really badly. And I don’t just mean in a ‘she’s bad at expressing herself’ sort of way. Sure, helping friends is common, that’s fine. But Chloe just… she harangues Sabrina all the time, and even coerced her into breaking the law.”

It wasn’t terribly common, but Chloe HAD done it, and would likely be willing to do it again if it helped her achieve her goals.

Roger’s eyes hardened. “WHAT?! My Sabrina would never-!”

“You should try asking her about the time Chloe ran for Class representative,” Alya interrupted. “Chloe told Sabrina to steal Marinette’s diary so she could blackmail Marinette into dropping out.”

Roger growled. “That’s ridiculous.  Chloe’s the mayor’s daughter, she wouldn’t try to get someone, especially my DAUGHTER, to break the law for her!”

“...Like that time Chloe pressured her dad into trying to force you to illegally search one of her classmate’s possessions?”

Roger froze. “I…”

“Just ask her, alright?” Alya said. “Just… just talk about it. And really look at Sabrina’s and Chloe’s relationship. Doing things for a friend is fine. Helping a friend in need is generally expected. But berating a friend for not doing a favor, or not doing it fast enough or well enough for their liking… that’s something to keep an eye on. Especially when that ‘friend’ is contemptuous of you, saying that you’re lucky to have them, that you’d have no other friends otherwise, that you’re a nobody.”

“...I’ll talk to her about it,” Roger said. “And she’ll prove all of this wrong, that she and Chloe have a great relationship!”

Well Sabrina may THINK they have a good relationship, but-

“Sabrina probably thinks so,” Alya said. “That doesn’t mean it’s true. I’m not sure Sabrina knows what SHE should expect out of a friendship, beyond just not being alone.”

“Isn’t that the most important thing?” Roger argued. 

Alya grimaced. “Being lonely sucks. But some friendships are worse than being alone, especially if that friendship is cutting that person off from forming any other bonds. I’m not saying that Sabrina should cut all ties with Chloe, or that there’s no genuine affection between them. But I AM saying that their relationship may need a reorganization. At the very least, that she needs a chance to have a friendship network that extends beyond just Chloe.”

Sighing, Roger looked down, his cap covering his eyes. “I have noticed that she doesn’t really talk about or hang out with anyone else” he said begrudgingly. “I thought the two of them were just such great friends there was no need to.”

“Everyone needs more friends in their lives,” Alya said. “One person might be a best friend, but to only have one friend, period? Can be a problem. Even if it’s with the best person in the world. It makes that person entirely dependent on that one friend. So if an issue arises there are no other options, no one else to turn to. And everyone needs someone to turn to.”

------

Hm… which shade of red was best? 

Comparing the picture on her phone to the different paint colors, she selected one of the brighter shades. It might not be entirely accurate, but next to the black of Chat Noir’s suit it would really pop.

*creak*

Alya looked up.

Chloe strutted through the door, Sabrina following behind her.

Something seemed different about Sabrina though. She looked uncomfortable and conflicted whenever she looked at Chloe, like she wasn’t sure how she should feel about her.

“Oh, Sabrina, look at this!” Chloe said, walking over to Alix’s latest street art masterpiece. “The little punk thinks vandalism is art!”

“Don’t you have something better to do?” Alix asked.

“Well of course, I always have something better to do. I just thought I’d grace you with my presence. No need to thank me. No, actually. DO thank me. It’s the least you can do.”

Alix rolled her eyes, getting back to her spray painting.

“Chloe, over here!” 

Alya blinked, watching Adrien wave Chloe over.

Huh. That was unusual. Usually Adrien preferred to spend time with Marinette (granted she was at her own workstation sewing this time, while Adrien was working at a separate station). Chloe and Adrien may still be friends, but…

Adrien caught her eye.

And winked.

OOOOH.

“ADRIKINS!” Chloe squealed, running over to him and latching onto his arm. 

As the two of them began talking earnestly, Alya noticed Marinette waving Sabrina over. 

For the first time since she’d entered the classroom, a small smile graced Sabrina’s face. 

Seeing Sabrina sitting next to Marinette, having a good time, Alya couldn’t help but smile as well.

-----

(A/N)

Just to make it clear, I don't think Lila's better than Chloe. But any sort of comeuppance or retribution that could be inflicted on Lila already HAS been in fics a hundredfold. At this point I just want her gone so I can pretend she doesn't exist.

Chloe's far more interesting. With her characterization she can be pulled in multiple different directions, can be developed in different ways without needing to break her character. Just having her be a stuck-up bully? There's plenty of canon to back that up. Want her to build herself up, to try to be... if not nice exactly, to at least be helpful, to protect the people she cares about? There's plenty to draw on there as well. She's easily the most versatile character in ML.

Still very annoyed at how often she gets the Draco in Leather Pants treatment while Alya and Adrien get Ron the Death Eater'd to make room for her, though. When it's just a Chloedemption I'm fine with that, but not when other, canonically kinder, more understanding characters have their characterization completely broken in order to make her look better by comparison.

Also her treatment of Sabrina really needs to be addressed. I do believe she's genuinely fond of Sabrina, but she still treats her very poorly. I hope season 4 develops Sabrina more so I can better understand her mindset, that was one of the most difficult parts of writing this. Just trying to understand why she sticks with Chloe, why she keeps going back to her.

I liked how the NY Special let Sabrina separate from Chloe to talk to that boy, to allow Sabrina to have some sort of relationship outside of Chloe. That's what I wanted for her here, for her to have a chance to form some new bonds and be less dependent on Chloe. I can't see her leaving Chloe entirely, but maybe Chloe will treat Sabrina better if Sabrina's more willing to distance herself when Chloe starts treating her badly, along with decreasing Sabrina's likelihood of being akumatized whenever that happens. So far both times Sabrina got akumatized (outside of Heroes Day) Chloe lashing out at her has facilitated it.

As for a Chloedemption, with what we've seen in the show, I just don't think we're there yet. We've had a few people try to intervene, pushing Chloe to be a better person.

Evillustrator: Marinette pointed out the issues in Chloe's and Sabrina's relaitonship, and Sabrina HERSELF called Chloe out for treating her like a slave.

Despair Bear: Adrien tried to push Chloe into being nicer, into making an effort.

Style Queen & Malediktator: Marinette got Chloe's mom to stick around and connect with her a little (albeit in a very unorthodox way), even having a heartfelt moment connecting with Chloe the next episode, getting a better glimpse of her insecurities and trying to help her with them by giving her a chance to show that she's definitely NOT useless, and to get appreciation that she genuinely earned.

I don't really have much more I can add to that to push Chloe over the redemption line. She's already had a lot of people working with her. So I wanted to give Sabrina a push instead. I dunno whether Roger gaining a better understanding of how skewed Chloe's and Sabrina's relationship is and talking to Sabrina about it, letting her know that "protect and serve" has limits, would actually happen or whether that would get Sabrina to reconsider what she should put up with, but I figure it's more likely than Chloe's parents shaping up, especially with how awful Audrey is. At least Roger showed some integrity in Rogercop.

[armandyke]

The link between diet and autism: a critical analysis of the recent Earth Locker episode and a chance for River to relive her lab report title writing days

Link to the original video

So as I already mentioned I’ve seen a few people talking about the recent episode of the Earth Locker (a podcast by Robert Sheehan, Tom Hopper, and Bryon Knight) where they talk with Tom and his wife Laura about their experiences raising their autistic son. I watched the whole episode and while there were a lot of good points made, there was also some misinformation, statements that were poorly explained and could be misinterpreted, and a couple of pretty harmful ideas put across which I’m gonna go into below. 

Disclaimer one: I’m gonna be saying a lot of stuff that I’m not going to be posting sources for. This is because everything I’m saying comes from my experiences as an autistic person, my experiences working as a support worker for adults with autism where I am currently a key worker for two autistic individuals, my work related training on autism, mental health, and diet & nutrition, and my knowledge from my psychology degree in which I also spent a lot of time studying biology and physiology. This is all just stuff that I know, and at some point I might try to add some sources but I’m writing this fresh off watching and making notes on this video so my energy is already running a little low and I’d rather focus on getting my points across instead of having to take time to source every piece of information. 

Disclaimer two: The purpose of this post isn’t to attack or defend any of the people involved in the podcast. This is also in no way a criticism of Tom and Laura’s parenting. This is purely a criticism of the discussion that took place on the podcast, not on any of the choices they’ve made for their son.

Disclaimer three: I’m going to be using the phrase “challenging behaviour” a lot while I’m explaining things as this is the term used in most modern research and is what we use at work. This basically describes any behaviour that causes harm to the individual or to other people around them, or behaviour that is detrimental to the individual’s wellbeing. 

So the main thing I want to go into with this is the misinformation and misinterpretation of information that was central to the discussion in this podcast, and that was around the connection between diet and autism. Most of the things Tom and Laura said about the effects of diet weren’t incorrect, but it wasn’t explained accurately and missed out on some key points so let’s go: 

In terms of whether diet can “cause” autism: no it can’t. There’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it does. It also can’t “worsen” autism because autism isn’t something that can get “worse” or “better”. A person with autism can develop and learn new skills and they can also regress (and diet can influence this, which I’ll go into further on), but an autistic person at a lower stage of development does not have “worse” autism than a person at a higher stage of development. 

Poor diet can have an impact on autistic people in the same way as with neurotypical people. If we eat junk, we tend to feel like junk as a result, and when we feel like junk it can be harder to concentrate and carry out our usual day to day tasks. However, autistic people are also significantly more likely to suffer from digestive problems and food intolerances, and so for a lot of autistic people (or parents of autistic children) diet may be something that requires close attention. So saying that an autistic individual’s challenging behaviour could be a result of their diet isn’t necessarily untrue, but it does massively oversimplify the issue. The challenging behaviour is more likely a response to pain or discomfort, (as well as frustration if they are unable to communicate this), which is caused by a diet unsuitable for this specific individual, which is caused by an intolerance or digestive problem, which they were at greater risk of developing due to their autism. It’s worth mentioning that medical professionals still don’t know why this comorbidity exists. 

So, referring back to Tom and Laura’s experience with their son, they were explaining that their son’s challenging behaviour spiked while he was on a high-sugar diet. Laura also added that he had been suffering from increasingly frequent infections in his ears and throat while eating these foods, which makes sense because high blood sugar levels can weaken the immune system and make us more susceptible to infections. They then explained that these infections stopped following a tonsillectomy and a change to a sugar-free diet, which then also lead to a complete reduction in their son’s challenging behaviours. Again, implying that the reduction in behaviours is a result of cutting out the sugar is oversimplifying. It’s most likely that their son’s challenging behaviours were a response to the pain the infections were causing, which may or may not have been linked to his sugar intake. Either way, autistic people are all individuals and so while a reduction in sugar intake has benefited their son, by no means does that mean that all autistic people should be following a low-sugar diet or that this would be beneficial for them. 

This isn’t entirely on topic but there are two other things I want to address in terms of what Tom and Laura said while talking about their son, the first being when talking about their initial approach to their children's’ diet before they were aware that their son was autistic. Laura essentially said that she wanted their children to be able to try different foods and that the focus would be on education about health and diet rather than cutting “unhealthy” foods out of their diets completely, which I thought was a great way to approach things. However she then added that, had they known about their son’s autism at the time, they may have approached things differently, which I was confused about. I think (and hope) she was just trying to say that if they had known upfront that sugar particularly seemed to be detrimental to their son, they would have reduced that straight away rather than having to use a process of trial and error which makes sense, but just the way it was phrased set off alarm bells because it sounded like she was implying that they would have controlled his diet more strictly if they had known he was autistic. Hopefully this isn’t the case because autistic people don’t need to have their choices limited if there is no detriment to their health or wellbeing. 

Another thing I was confused about, and I’m not sure if this was supposed to be more of a weird analogy rather than factual information, was when Tom started talking about “sensory glands” when talking about their son’s hypersensitivity to sounds. I think his exact words were something along the line of saying that the high sugar levels were causing his “sensory glands” to “swell” which was heightening his sensitivity. And like... unless I missed something there is no such thing as a sensory gland and they certainly don’t swell up when we’re over stimulated or when we have a lot of sugar. Sugar triggers high dopamine responses in our brains which then leads to cravings and can cause spikes and crashes in mood, and it can also cause inflammation, all of which can cause discomfort and in turn could lead to an increase in sensitivity, but as far as I know sugar doesn’t have a direct effect on our senses. 

Now on to the elephant in the room and the two big, glaring no-no's in this podcast, both of which were said by Tom (these are not direct quotes because I didn’t get a chance to jot them down in time so I’m paraphrasing slightly):

“we cannot ignore the correlation between rising autism rates and the increase in fast food consumption” (spoiler alert: yes we can)

“I really want to get to the cause of autism and see if there’s something that can be done to prevent it”

So, first of all, autism isn’t something that needs to be prevented. Autistic people are not a detriment to society. We don’t have an illness, we just experience the world differently and, in some cases, require additional support to live our lives as fully as possible. Obviously it can’t be ruled out that fast food, or anything else, has a part to play in rising rates, but there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that it does and correlation absolutely does not equal causation. Gay representation in the media has also been steadily rising with rates of autism diagnosis. Does this mean that seeing gay people on TV makes people autistic? No. As Laura briefly mentioned, it is far more likely that the rising rates are actually due to an increase in understanding about autism and the accessibility of diagnosis, especially when you consider how many people are still slipping under the radar even with all the knowledge we have today.

I appreciate that most of this podcast is just a conversation between friends about various topics, but when the goal of this podcast is to “raise awareness”, and with the shared platform the people involved have, casual statements like these are incredibly dangerous. With the general implication that if everyone lived a healthy, clean, and organic lifestyle, we could reduce the number of autistic people in our society, this not only puts the “blame” on parents of autistic people, and on the individuals themselves, but is also dipping into eugenics territory. And while I don’t think the intentions behind either statement were malicious, they were incredibly ignorant, and the fact that they went completely unchallenged was concerning and made me pretty uncomfortable. 

There were still a lot of positives in the podcast. I’m really glad Laura was also involved because she definitely came across as being the most educated on the subject of the four of them and did make a point of bringing up issues with diagnosis (particularly among girls with autism), her and Tom’s privilege in terms of being able to work with doctor’s to find out as much as possible about their son’s dietary needs and to then provide him with a tailored diet, and also addressing the issues with “high functioning vs low functioning” when Rob asked about the “severity” of their son’s autism. However there was still an undeniable amount of inaccurate or poorly presented information, as well as some things that were just plain incorrect and offensive. I appreciate that a lot of this was coming from personal experience rather than being generalised information, but I think this could have been communicated a lot more clearly and effectively considering the intention was to spread awareness, and the episode would have massively benefitted from the input of an autistic adult. Rob specifically had a lot of questions about autism in general and I think they would have been much better answered by somebody with autism, rather than a parent giving an outside perspective of their child’s experiences. It’s always a little uncomfortable to watch four neurotypical people discuss autism, regardless of how positive their intentions are, and I don’t think it would have been a great challenge for them to find an autistic person who would have been willing to talk about the topic with them. 

[angelanimedesaray]

Investment Part 5: The Quiet

AN:  Soooo this part ended up being short compared to the others, cause it’s a connecting chapter.  Also I wanted to use a certain gif SO BAD but I COULDN’T because it would spoil the end.  You’ll know what I wanted to use by the end, hehehe

I kept agonizing over characterization, which is why it took me so long even though for the Investment series it’s pretty short.

Also, apologies to the people who weren’t tagged in the previous part, my tags were messed up and I just found out the other day, but I think they’re fixed now.

Characters:  Vampire!Levi, Reader, Hange (Mentioned), Erwin (Mentioned), and a SURPRISE

Pairing:  (Eventual) Levi x Reader

Warnings:  Language, Blood, a bit of past Trauma and Fear, Gore

Word Count:  6522

<----Previous Part    Masterlist    Next Part---->

*Reader’s POV*

As you guided the horse through the dissipating fog, you kept glancing down at Levi in front of you.  He held to the saddle horn with one hand, the other splayed on his chest as he weaved unsteadily in front of you, hunching forward with barely enough distance between his forehead and the horse’s bobbing neck.  He still wasn’t in great shape, but he wasn’t near death anymore, which was a relief.  You weren’t trying to catch up to the main formation anymore--they were long gone now, and the only thing you could hope for was for them to collect you two on the way back.

The silence between the two of you was almost uncomfortable, both of you enduring what remained of the wind and rain without a word spoken between either of you since you’d forced Levi to drink your blood.  You could only imagine what was going on in his head after you’d done that.  As much as you were aware it may have hurt him, you didn’t regret it--it was what you’d needed to do at the time, no matter what your personal feelings on the matter were.

Your arm still hurt where he’d bit you, and you could feel the odd sensation of mostly dried blood on your arm at his side.  You really hoped the rain was helping to wash it away and getting rid of the temptation for him, because you didn’t have time to wrap up your arm while trying to flee the scene before Titans appeared.  He hadn’t made any complaints or obvious fidgets of discomfort, though, so you could only assume he was coping.  Maybe he was too distracted right now to really react, though there wasn’t much to distract either of you except your own thoughts.

“I’m sorry.”

The apology came out of nowhere, and it was so softly spoken the wind almost swallowed it up entirely.  Shocked, you looked at the back of Levi’s head directly in front of you.  He wasn’t turning to look at you, and he was still in that hunched over position.  There was no outward sign that he’d spoken, but you were certain that he had.

“I pushed too hard...and I can’t fix what I broke.  No matter how much I want to.”

The only thing Levi could have possibly seen in reaction to his words was the tightening of your grip on the reins to a white knuckled one, causing your bite mark to ache.  Your eyes burned from more than just the wind, and your throat closed up as you struggled to swallow the emotion welling up inside you at his words so you could focus on getting the two of you to the safehouse.

That...that was an apology that you’d needed to hear to start to really forgive him.

Seeing him again, being a part of his life again even if it was from a distance, studying with Hange and learning more and more about what was happening to him, what he was struggling with; it had softened you to him once again, had seeds of genuine care sprouting in your heart again.  However, there had still been something complicating it, something that held you back from starting to forgive him.

Now, after seeing him near true death again like that first night, then seeing him so hell bent on not drinking from you again no matter the personal cost...The sight of his fingers digging into the earth, rain and blood soaked, and his body taught and turned away as he vehemently refused your offer was going to be burned into your mind for years to come.  He’d never admit it out loud, but you had the sense now, after that display back there, that what he’d done had damaged him as well as you.  If he wasn’t traumatized from it, he was at least drowning in guilt for the things he’d done--and not just to you.

And now there was this apology, even if it was so soft spoken you almost missed it, the words disappearing in the wind as you raced forward, Levi not even turning to meet your gaze as he said it--though you strangely weren’t hurt by that fact.  You knew it wasn’t for a lack of sincerity that he didn’t meet your gaze.  He’d never been the best at communicating when it came to his emotions, anyway--he was a constant puzzle you had to pay attention to and work through to figure out what he was feeling or thinking, because most of the time, he wasn’t openly expressionate.  But sometimes, like now, he would give someone a key piece to solve the current puzzle.  And on the rarest of instances, like back there, he was open and vulnerable, though usually that was when the emotion was too strong even for him to contain.  And he probably tried to keep those moments of vulnerability to when he was alone.

Just because his emotions were usually hidden or he could be tough to read, didn’t mean he was heartless and incapable of feeling, though, like some might suggest.

Even though you didn’t say anything in response to his short and quiet apology, as you gazed at the back of his head, you could feel a part of you forgive him.  You weren’t ready to tell him verbally that you forgave him, you needed a bit more time for that...but in your heart, you were starting to forgive him.

Blinking away a few tears, you forced yourself to look ahead again, slowly bringing yourself out of the emotional funk and paying closer attention to the area around you, even though you knew Levi was going to be able to spot any Titans long before you could.

While some bases the Scouts had established were in ruins or abandoned castles, there was the occasional small house constructed high in the giant trees that grew in the area, far out of reach of any Titan but the Colossal Titan and accessible with ODM gear instead of ladders, for safety’s sake.  It was one of these treehouses that Levi guided you to for the two of you to lay low until you could be retrieved by the main scout regiment body.  Trusting your horse’s training to stay in the area, you let the horse wander as it pleased down below while you used your operational ODM gear to get the still-hurt Levi up to the treehouse.  Once the weather cleared up, and day broke, you were going to go up into the treetops as high as your ODM gear would throw you and fire your flare shots to signal Hange.

But first, you needed to tend to Levi.

Once inside the small military cabin-esque safehouse, Levi took a seat on one of the lower bunk beds, an audible ‘Tch’ sounding in the room when he found the place fairly dusty.  It hadn’t been used for a while, so it hadn’t been cleaned.  You might have to see to fixing that afterwards--if you had the supplies to clean around here, which you might, if the Scouts had kept Levi in mind while setting this place up--for his sanity’s sake.

In the meantime, you took a seat on the edge of the bunk, a hand already out to touch one of the spots that was still damp with blood.  “Let me take a look,” you asked, but Levi grasped your wrist before your fingers could brush fabric.

“I’m fine--it’s healing,” he said firmly, starting to sit up.  One of the stains darkened in the process, convincing you otherwise.

“Stop being stubborn and let me help.  Hange’s gonna want healing details anyway.”

“Leave it--I can tell her myself.”

“Levi,” you said firmly, holding his gaze with a harder look.  “Let me look--you’re still bleeding, there’s still open wounds, they should probably at least be wrapped until they seal up, to keep them clean and try and staunch the bleeding.  Or do you want to have to drink from me again because you lost more blood?”

He already might have to before the Scouts returned, but you didn’t mention that right now.  Besides, you needed a little rest before you could act as a doner again.

Levi sighed, leaning back with eyes closed, a look of displeasure on his face.  “Fine.”

Glad you’d won this little battle, you went through your stuff for your emergency medical supplies, finding the bandages and such you would need to wrap his wounds before turning around to see him already undoing the straps for his gear and sliding it off his torso.  As you came closer, the cravat was carefully set aside and his fingers started unbuttoning his rain and blood soaked shirt.

If it hadn’t been for the garish shallow hole in his chest a few buttons down, this could have easily turned into an awkward and embarrassing moment.  It was still a little awkward, as the start of a burn in your cheeks might suggest, but seeing the injury helped you mellow again.  To keep the embarrassment at bay, you kept your eyes down, looking at his gradually exposed chest and refusing to meet his eyes as you turned all your attention to his injuries.

Well, the good news was that it did seem to be healing.  The bad news was that the healing process had slowed dramatically for reasons unknown.  Clearly, he’d healed rapidly earlier considering none of the holes went all the way through, but if it had stayed at that pace, these would have been gone by now.  Your fingers even came away wet with blood--not a lot, but the point was that the wounds were still bleeding.

“I wonder why you stopped healing so fast…” you murmured, mostly to yourself as you helped Levi carefully sit up so you could properly start tightly wrapping around his torso so both front and back wounds were covered.

“Maybe I only heal fast at the start before it slows down,” Levi suggested, attempting to hold still while you worked.  Both of you were ignoring the close proximity, even while your breath tickled his bare chest, fingers flush against his warm skin where you were holding him steady.

You shook your head.  “No, I don’t think that’s it.  Based off Hange’s observations, at least.  You usually heal fairly quickly at the same pace.”

You had a theory, but considering you knew it wasn’t one you could test--or rather one you were certain Levi wouldn’t comply to testing--you were going to keep your mouth shut for now and mention it to Hange, later.

“You have been working with Hange,” Levi said as if he was confirming a theory of his.  When you nodded, he pressed forward.  “That’s how you knew about the curtains, why you made the tins, where you got the bracelet…”

It seemed he’d been paying just as close attention to you as you had been to him.  Nothing got past Levi--he was as deductive and observant as ever.  You were, too, though, and you thought you could hear a timber of...perhaps it was guilt in his voice again?  Maybe he was thinking about what led to the arrangement between you and Hange.  Or maybe he had the wrong idea about why you’d done all of it.

“I wanted to know what was happening with you, and I wanted to help however I could.  Even if it was from a distance,” you admitted quietly.

Finished wrapping him up, you pulled back, grabbing what you’d used and getting up from the bunk.  “Anyways, I’m going to see what I can do about cleaning up around here--you need to rest.  It will help with the healing process.”

“So do you,” Levi said pointedly, eyes following you as you moved around the cabin looking for anything that you could use to clean up.  “I don’t sleep much, anyway.  I’ll keep watch while you sleep.”

You were rather exhausted.  It had been a hard ride since the Scouts had left the walls, not to mention digging for Levi had been a wearisome, and he drank a hefty amount of your blood.  That meant you were admittedly worn down and woozy, but at least you weren’t injured--well, not as bad as Levi, anyway.

Speaking of, you needed to sit down and wrap that before you got started cleaning.

“You really shouldn’t--”

“Just shut up and get some rest.  I’ll make it an order if I have to,” Levi cut you off, looking slightly irritated at your insistence to try and keep him on bedrest while you darted around trying to do stuff.

Oh, ho, ho, he was threatening to pull the rank card.  That one rarely got pulled, considering he wasn’t really one for authority.  All right, you would give--this time.  As long as he was still going to take it easy, you couldn’t complain too much.

After searching the entire cabin, you came to the conclusion that no, they hadn’t kept Levi in mind while supplying this place.  You couldn’t find what you were looking for.

Heaving a disappointed sigh, you sat on the bunk opposite where you’d laid him down to rest, the bandages in hand once more.  “Sorry, Levi, but there’s nothing here to clean with.”

“We’ll make do.  Get some rest--you’ll need it in the morning,” Levi said, getting up from the bunk and finding his way to a chair by one of the windows with visible effort before sitting back down with his head leaned back, gazing out the window.

Reluctantly, you settled back onto the bunk, gaze trained on Levi and taking in his bandages, noting what spots already had red speckling through.  You took the time to wrap up your arm, officially covering up the wound and hopefully helping him ignore any lingering bloodlust he might not be saying anything about.  Silence settled over the cabin, the only sound your occasional shift on the bunk to try and get comfortable and your steady breaths.

You ended up surrendering to exhaustion with the last thing you saw Levi sitting perfectly still in his seat by the window, his gaze distant and far away, lost in his own thoughts.

*Levi’s POV*

After she fell asleep, there was nothing but Levi and his thoughts in the dark space, slivers of moonlight making its way into the room through the large trees and the window to give a semblance of light.

There was a dull ache in his jaw that had only started to dim after she had wrapped her arm to cover the open wound, but it wasn’t going away entirely.  He could still smell the blood in the air, even if it was made faint.  The wounds he’d received when he was crushed under the rubble had healed for the most part, not counting the wounds where he’d been impaled.  Those were well wrapped and covered, but they still hurt like a bitch and sapped at his strength.  He wasn’t oblivious to the wet blood that still darkened the wraps, even if it was slow.  He just had to keep with the knowledge that he was healing, and it would eventually stop and his wounds close.  He had at least a whole night and however long of the day it took for them to rejoin with the Scout formation to heal.  Even if he tried to sleep tonight, he doubted he would be able to between insomnia, pain, the smell of blood in the air, and his thoughts.

As if that was different from any other night…

His head turned slightly to look at Y/N asleep on the bunk, face cast in shadow.

He had been mulling over what he would say to her for so long, trying to get the words to work, to come out right without being too blunt or harsh.  He didn’t want to mess up this apology, which was why so much thought went into it.  Frankly, he’d imagined he’d be sitting down talking to her face to face when he finally said it, but instead, he found himself saying it in that silence during their ride back.  It had been at the front of his mind, then; glaring at him and demanding that he say something.  He couldn’t gauge a reaction or anything sitting in front besides her grip tightening on the reins and her heartbeat picking up.  He was pretty sure he picked up on a faint sound, like a whine that didn’t quite make it past her throat...but he could have imagined it.

On another note, she’d managed to help soothe another pain, possibly without realizing it.  All that time, those little things she’d been doing like putting up curtains and making those bloodlust tins, he had thought she was doing it because she was terrified of him and trying to keep him pacified so he wouldn’t attack her again.  Now she’d just told him she hadn’t done it out of fear like he’d assumed--she’d done it because she was genuinely trying to help.  She still cared, even then, after everything…

Levi let out a slow breath, eyes halfway lidded as his gaze shifted to a dark corner of the cabin.  At this point, he might as well stop being so damn stubborn about her getting involved in what was happening with him.  He’d never really managed to get her out of this mess.  She’d always been involved, and she was still involved.  There was no point in continuing to try and keep her at a distance if it clearly never worked to begin with.  He could at least control what he could, so he could make sure she at least stayed safe instead of ending up in reckless situations trying to muscle past his stubborn exterior.  But pushing her away wasn’t the way to make it work.

While coming to terms with the fact she was going to be a part of this despite his initial decision, he caught the sound of her heartbeat quickening.  Turning his head, he could tell she was still asleep, even as her breath got shallower and faster.

After all those nights your nightmares kept him awake, he was quite aware of what it sounded like when you were having one, even this early.  You were having them a little less from what he’d been able to hear at night.  As much as you’d both been getting off your chests tonight emotionally--at least in Levi’s head--that didn’t mean the trauma wasn’t still there.  Hell, him biting you again may have triggered it tonight.

As it started to get worse, twitches and whimpers coming from your bunk, Levi carefully got to his feet, a little more steady than last time as he’d had a bit more time to rest and recover.  As he walked over to the bunk, the signs grew clearer.  Little twitches from the fingers, eyes darting side to side behind her eyelids, shallow fast breaths.  It wasn’t severe enough to be waking her up, though--he was well aware you weren’t supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare unless it was at a certain point of severity.  Besides, he was fairly certain if it got as bad as some of the nights he’d overheard her, she might just wake up on her own.

Just in case, Levi settled carefully on the very edge of the bunk, sitting there and listening to her heart rate and breathing, little sounds of distress, his face completely hidden in shadow as he pushed aside the thoughts that he was the one who had caused these night terrors in the first place.

Her hand partially jumped up off the bed with a muscle spasm, catching Levi’s full attention.  Instinctively, he reached out to carefully put a hand on her shoulder, staying as gentle as he could with her as he studied her face with a sharp eye.  Any more movements like that, and he would wake her up for her sake.

Her head tossed to the side, that same arm coming up partially and curling towards her chest, prompting Levi to give her a careful shake.  “Oi...wake up,” he commanded in a voice that was still fairly quiet in the name of trying to wake her gently so he didn’t startle her awake.

It took a couple more shakes because she was so deep in her nightmare, but when he did manage to get her to wake, it was not peacefully.  Her body jerked, and her arm flung out, almost hitting Levi in the face if he hadn’t caught her hand with his.  Her eyes were wild with panic, and her heartbeat didn’t settle, giving him a cutting reminder that her nightmares didn’t always end when she woke, and the subject matter of these night terrors were...

Pushing aside his emotions yet again, Levi’s grasp on her hand tightened slightly.

I know she’s having nightmares about me.  But how the hell am I supposed to convince her I’m not going to hurt her again to soothe them?

*Reader’s POV*

You were disoriented when you woke up, breathing heavy and gaze tearing apart the shadows for the red eyes you knew would be glaring at you from somewhere in the darkness.  You tensed at the feeling of something grasping your hand, heart speeding up with the thought that the creature from your nightmares was right beside you and already had a grip on you, about to tear into you mercilessly.

Before the panic could take over entirely, your hand was pulled in, and you found it splayed against a warm and bandaged chest, one hand on your wrist and the other covering yours.  You paused because you were confused by the unexpected action, and it definitely served to make you stop long enough for your head to start to clear.

There was, in fact, someone right beside you--Levi.  You could make out his form in the faint moonlight that was let in through the open windows, his eyes somewhat visible between the little light and how close he was.  He had to be sitting right on the edge of your bunk, now that you thought about it.

But, what you were mostly focused on was the feel of him holding your hand against his chest, able to feel him tangible and warm beneath him, a clear sign that he was real, not whatever you had seen in your dreams or might see lurking in the darkest corners.  You could feel his heartbeat faintly with how firmly he had your hand pressed against his chest, and yet he wasn’t rough with you.  He was careful and steady, and even though neither of you were speaking, it was almost like he was reassuring you in the suddenly softer darkness.

Hesitantly, you looked up at his eyes, those crimson eyes that peered at you in the darkness and terrorized you at night flashing through your mind.  Yet, when you looked at him--what you could see of him--all there was, was the feel of his very human heartbeat, and those blue grey eyes of his studying your every move carefully.  Not crimson--blue grey, and there wasn’t a hint of malice from him.  Just genuine concern.

Abruptly, the red eyed demon that manifested in your dreams and came to torment you at night was completely separated in your mind from Levi.  Even knowing what he was, what he was capable of after being on the receiving end, knowing those red eyes had originated from him, a sense of safety started to fall over you.  Even if that demon somehow became real and came after you in the dark, he was perfectly capable of protecting you from it; and you knew he would.

A little piece that had broken in the Underground started to heal inside you at the unexpectedly soft and gentle action from Levi.

“It was a dream,” Levi suddenly said, voice a little gruff, but the intent to calm was still there.  “You really think anything dangerous would get past my watch?”

Indeed.  If there was any real threat, Levi wouldn’t let it waltz right in and harm you.  You were safe, which meant you could go back to sleep with the knowledge that there was nothing your night terrors could do to truly hurt you.

Relaxing substantially, you let out a shaky breath and attempted to settle back down to sleep.

*Levi’s POV*

Levi held his position until he felt and heard her starting to settle down, her heartbeat calming down, breathing evening out, and hand starting to go slack in his grip.  Satisfied with the results of his attempt to calm you down and get you back to sleep, and admittedly surprised at how easy it had been, Levi started to pull away to go back to his chair by the window.

Her grip tightened on his hand before he could pull away, and he looked back at her, surprised, since he was sure she was asleep, or at least practically asleep.

“Stay…” she mumbled, the words almost incoherent.

Levi stood there for a moment, debating.  He was supposed to be keeping watch, but he also didn’t want those nightmares coming back.  Did he comply and settle back down, or trust she wasn’t awake enough to tell and pull away?

Technically, with these new abilities of his, he could watch for trouble from this very spot considering he could hear any Titans approaching--or any kind of trouble, for that matter.

Had this been anyone else, hell no, he wouldn’t have even calmed her down the way he had.  But her...well, he’d cared about her before this garbage fire of a situation, and what he’d done to her had served to make him realize just how much he deeply cared.

So, for her, knowing she wanted and needed this…

Levi carefully sat back down, noticing that she did relax with his proximity and quickly slipped off to a deep and hopefully far more peaceful sleep.

Just to be safe, he kept her hand cradled carefully over his heart the entire night.

*Reader’s POV*

You woke up with the first rays of sunlight through the windows signaling the start of the next day, eyes crusted with a good night’s sleep.  Levi was already up and moving around, a breeze coming in from the open door Levi was standing in.  You sat up slowly, rubbing at your eyes and taking in the scene.  Levi was already covered up, his bloodied shirt buttoned up over the bandages once more, jacket and cravat back in place.  It was almost like yesterday had never happened.

Not that you had much time to dwell on such a thing.  If it was daybreak and the skies were clear, you needed to get up to the trees and fire the signals before the Scouts had a chance to get any further away from your position.

Levi turned when he heard you getting up, expression unreadable as his gaze swept over you with an examining air.  “You overslept.”

Looking at the amount of daylight, you knew you hadn’t slept in that much.  “Not terribly.”

“You said there was a signal you needed to fire before the main group pulls too far ahead.  You’ll want to do that now,” Levi told you.

Right, your ODM gear--it was next to the bed and ready for you.  Did Levi get it ready?  Had he set it up while you were still asleep instead of deciding to use it himself?  You were the one who knew the signals, so it wasn’t like he could have signaled them himself while you were asleep.

At his comment, you got off the bunk, pushing hair out of your eyes as you started putting the ODM gear on, a slight furrow on your face.  You wanted to get above the tree line, but you weren’t going to be able to fire the flares and operate the ODM gear at the same time, even if you did it one flare at a time.

Your gaze slid to Levi as your ODM gear clicked into place, and his eyebrows rose at the sheepish look you were giving him.  “What?”

“Its two signal flares at the same time, and I want to try and get those signals above the tree line, but it’s impossible while using the ODM gear, so--”

Levi let out a long-suffering sigh, reaching for the pouch at his side and pulling out his flare gun.  “I get it.”

“Green and purple flares.  Hange said she would make sure there were people keeping an eye out for our signal so they could find us.”  Your eyes lowered to his bloodied shirt in concern.  “How are you doing?”

Levi picked at his shirt with a displeased sigh, clearly wishing he had a change of clothes.  “Almost healed.  I’ll be in perfect shape by the time the formation passes through.”

Considering he was already agreeing, loading the purple flare into his gun, you assumed that meant he was well enough to be carried around in ODM gear.  He’d probably do the flying part himself if he was completely healed.  Those injuries probably didn’t feel good with the straps rubbing against them.

Gear in place, you loaded the green flare into your gun and handed it to Levi, stepping out the door onto the bare, no railing balcony that served as a landing platform for ODM users.  You craned your neck up to gauge how far away the treetops were, looking at Levi who was standing silently beside you.

“I’m just going to propel us above the tree line, and you fire before we head back down,” you told him.  Levi’s gaze flicked upwards to gauge for himself how high the two of you were going to go before it settled back on you.

“You confident you can bring us up and back down while holding onto me?” Levi asked seriously.  It was already difficult to fly around in ODM gear holding someone, so his question made sense.

“Well, even if I dropped you by accident, I’m sure you could catch yourself before you hit the ground with those new reflexes of yours.”

Levi snorted in derision.  “That’s reassuring.”

“Well there’s no point yapping about it--let’s just get it over with.  The sooner the better, like you said, right?” you said pointedly, pulling the controls into your hands and facing him with arms open.

He didn’t even need to give you the death glare that said ‘We will never speak of this to anyone,’ and you had the decency to hide your smile as he clambered into your arms, one of his arms hooked around your neck and both his hands keeping a firm grasp on the flare guns while you made sure you had a firm grip on him.  Once you were certain he wasn’t going to tumble out of your arms and you could still use the ODM gear, you kicked off the balcony, shooting one of the grapples into the trees.

Like last night, it was much different maneuvering while carrying someone, and far more difficult.  However, you grit your teeth and focused, able to feel Levi’s grip tighten slightly at your outward sign of concentration to do this.  Clearly, he didn’t want to get dropped.

A few more grapples and well-timed bursts of gas allowed you to slingshot the two of you out above the trees and into the clear air.  As your momentum slowed, Levi outstretched one arm to fire the purple shot, then angled the other as far from your head as he could without losing his grip considering you were starting to go down again and fired the green shot.

With the purple and green smoke trailing high in the air, you instinctively wrapped one of your arms around Levi as you started to fall, angling your body and firing another grapple into the trees, branches cutting at your face on the way down until you saw the safehouse again, grappling the two of you back to the safehouse.

As soon as your feet were steadily on the ground, Levi slipped out of your grip, heading inside without looking back at you.

“You’re bleeding.”

Your hand raised to your face to see if any of those branches had cut deeper than you’d thought, but you didn’t come away with any blood.  The bandage on your arm, though, was freshly red.

Shit.

You’d forgotten about your arm injury while carrying him.

Cursing your carelessness, you headed inside the safehouse, spotting Levi leaning partially out a window and looking out over the forest to give you the chance to change your bandages without the blood bothering him as much.

He must have been getting thirsty again, if all that blood you’d given him had somehow been used up faster while he healed.  Not that he was going to let you offer again, if he was up and walking around unimpaired again and you were both simply waiting to be recovered.  He would definitely wait until you were back behind the walls before he went looking for a drink, and it wasn’t going to be you he tapped into.

Once the bandage was carefully wrapped around your arm, Levi turned back into the room, walking over to the bunk opposite yours and sitting on its edge.

“If you’re going to be involved in all of this, there needs to be ground rules,” Levi suddenly said, gaze boring down on you with intense seriousness.  Your heart, however, leapt up in hopeful excitement.

“What are you thinking?” you asked hesitantly.  Surely whatever he asked of you for the ground rules, it would be worth him finally relenting and letting you help him.

“You stop pushing your idea to have me drink from you.  I don’t want to hear it again,” he said curtly.  That one you could have predicted, so you simply nodded your head.  “I don’t want you anywhere near the dangerous stuff if it can be helped.  Any experiments Hange conducts about my diet, anything that will include this hunger taking precedence, I don’t want you near it if it can be helped.  Don’t ever follow me when I go hunting again, either.”

Levi’s gaze was hard as flint, but you understood his motivations for these kinds of rules clearly.  With how much he was afraid to hurt you again, how drawn to your blood he seemed to be, he didn’t want you in any situation where he might bite you again if he lost control--not if it could be helped.  At least he was willing to negotiate under extraneous circumstances.

“I can agree to those terms,” you said with another small nod.  Levi looked away, finding dirt on his hands from where it had touched the edge of the bunk and brushing it away with disgust, getting to his feet again.

“I’ll tell Hange and Erwin when we’re behind the walls again.”

*Kenny’s POV*

Normally, Kenny didn’t bother himself much with what was going on in the Underground anymore.  He had far bigger things to concern himself with, far more important thinks.  Anything that might have brought him to the Underground these days had either died or left.

But, that didn’t mean there wasn’t the occasional occurrence that piqued his interest and was worth turning a few filth-covered rocks over in the darkest corners of the Underground.

Kenny had heard a rumor.  One he normally would have ignored, if it hadn’t been for one glaring detail that had rubbed him the wrong way.

Everyone with their ear to the ground and the properly placed contacts knew that there was a rash of killings happening in the Underground--more than usual, and done by the same person.  Of course, the Underground was the perfect place for fostering serial killers, as he should know.  It would have been passing information that Kenny eventually forgot if it hadn’t been for the nickname they were giving this guy.

The Ripper.

Give me a break...

That was supposed to be his moniker, one he’d earned from his earlier years and had transformed his name to legend.  Now some newbie was taking that badge out from under him.  He couldn’t have that, now, could he?  He had a reputation to maintain.

First thing’s first, he had to find the guy.  No one was really paying much attention to his victims, since they were mostly the low-level thugs and scum of the earth kind.

Kenny, however, knew how to look at a body and a crime scene and know what kind of a killer he was dealing with.  This guy’s targets already helped narrowed the kind of person he was dealing with, but he wasn’t settling on any stereotypes until he’d seen several of the bodies and got a real feel for how this guy killed.

That would be even more revealing than the targets, in his professional opinion.

One thing he’d been quick to find out, was that the official number wasn’t accurate, because all the bodies hadn’t been found.

For example--Kenny was currently in an abandoned house, crouching down beside the hole in the floor that served as a dump site for one of the many uncounted for victims.  After seeing that several of the counted bodies were in dark corners and back alleys that were rarely frequented, it wasn’t hard to deduce that there was at least some effort put into hiding some of these bodies.

But looking at this guy, it was clear that some of the worst were going to be the hardest to find.

The body was long dead and in a state of decay, but it was still clear that it had been soaked in blood and ripped into.  The head was almost torn off of the neck that had been ripped almost completely through in jagged, unclean tears, like something had bit into both sides in a manner more befitting a starving wolf.  The rest of the body, save a few bites along the lower neck where neck met shoulder, was left alone.  Judging by the state of the guy, this had to be one of the first.

Kenny frowned, looking over at the rug that had been hiding the hole, now rolled aside by Kenny to reveal the body beneath.  The wounds didn’t quite match the effort to hiding the body.  These wounds that were more befitting a mauling in the street of a rabid animal, yet they were contrasted by the intelligence of this body being so well hidden that the remains had only been found by someone looking for them.

Though he could definitely see how people might be tempted to dub him a ripper after seeing this sap and some of the found bodies.  Always going for the neck, usually ripping it right out…

A flash of white cut through the darkness as a thrill went through Kenny at the game of cat and mouse he already saw being set up in front of him.

This was going to be quite a show.

He was looking forward to the chase.

Next Part---->

Levi Tags:  @clary-quinn​ @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus​ @sunny-flo​

Investment Tags:  @regalillegal​ @cecldcecld​ @soft-levi-girl-blog @kitomashi @hurwen-calaeril @doragonraitoningu​

Vampire Levi Tags: @thesilencebeforeastorm @mysteriousmagicx @super-peace-fangirl​ @psychiccvampire

[alreadyblondenow]

Sugar | 2

Jaehyun x reader // SMUT, Fluff, Angst? Summary: You wanted to get rid of Jaehyun but the man has his way to your heart. Being involved with someone like Jaehyun is the last thing you want right now, but its certainly what you need. Love.  Word Count: 4k Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, older Jaehyun, younger reader, age difference. If you’re uncomfortable, please click away. Explicit mature scenes, rough? sex, Cheating?  Note: In this chapter, there will be no sex but its kinda connected to the following chapters huhu and its kinda long :(( hope you still read it. (there will be following chapters so the genre will change eventually to fluff, angst and smut.) also sorry if there are misplaced words or wrong spelling.  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

A week passed already after your unforgettable experience with Jaehyun. You told your friends what happened and how he turned out to be older than you and how it made you feel bad because it almost looked like you had sex with your sugar daddy. And to avoid that from happening you left without telling him anything.

School is back and you’re school works are all pilling up. Its a Friday, you’ve been attending classes from morning to evening only having lunch break as your timeout from all the information. While you’re waiting for the school shuttle bus to head back to your dorm, your eyes almost hurt from wearing glasses the whole day.

A pitch black Lamborghini caught your eye and a really handsome man wearing a nice suit and tie leaning beside the nice car. You see him staring at you with a big smile, so big you almost caught butterflies in your tummy. People in line waiting with you, are starting to gossip who he might be and why is he smiling at you.

To hush them, you walked towards the man not because you’ve fallen to his beautiful smile but to ask him to please stop staring at you. And to you’re surprise,it’s Jaehyun. You almost didn’t recognised him because of his hair styled really neat, plus the sharp look seemed like it’s far from his personality.

“How did you find me?” Just like that, you kept your words straightforward.

“Well if you stayed a little bit longer last time, I could’ve at least introduced myself. Jung Jaehyun. Vice President of Jung Group of Companies.” He offered his hand for a shake but you refused, he ended up scratching the back of his head.

People are staring at you and Jaehyun already, and good thing he noticed it.

“can you please get in the car?” He asked politely.

“thought you’d never ask.”

He started to drive away, not sure where he’s taking you. He noticed you’re wearing glasses and that it looks good on you, not entirely sure if you want to talk so he stayed silent. But little did he know, the silence inside the car is making you sweat, and you cant take it anymore.

“What do you want, Mr.”

“I just want to take you home cause you didn’t let me last time”

It surprised you how he casually drive through McDonalds with his beautiful car, not giving a fuck about how cheap McDonalds are. He bought a full meal so you could eat something at home, buying extra burgers so you could eat something while he’s driving.

He didn’t have to, you thought, but the gesture is sweet and you were actually starving already. “Thank you for this” you said while munching some fries, “I was starving already”

You saw his bright smile and those beautiful dimples, while keeping his eyes on the road. When, hes finally out of the main road you taught him the directions going to your dorm and you arrived safely. Again it was silent, the only sound you could hear is your mouth munching the burger. He saw your skirt got up when you were eating, slowly moving his hands trying not to look like a pervert, he fixed your skirt gently covering your thighs.

It made you nervous to be honest, “haha you’ve seen me naked and fucked me good now you’re covering my legs.” You just cant believe you said that “Thank you. I was a little cold actually.”

He’s smiling again, showing his cute dimples that can make your heart melt. “ I was good?” He asked teasing you.

“Whatever, Mr.” you continue eating.

“When can I see you again?” he seemed determined you thought, and it’s starting to annoy you.

“I’m hoping never” You’re being honest, “this was nice. But its wrong at least for me. I have nothing to offer, I’m not rich like you so I’m trying to stop something from happening here.”

“Like what exactly?” He asked, innocently with his calm aura, dimples showing and he looked really handsome in your eyes. You gulp, not wanting to say the words but if this gets him to shut up you’re going to say it.

“Like you being a sugar daddy and me completely falling in love with you” you’re 100% certain he can hear your heart beat louder. He chuckled again, not looking at you but still so determined you almost felt hopeless. When will he shut up?

“No one said something about me being your sugar daddy” you scoffed, “And the last thing is not so bad. I mean I like you a lot already” you almost choke on your burger.

Not letting him get into you, you’re so stern when it comes to refusing. “No. Still no. I have to go” you gather your stuff, “thank you for everything you did tonight. It’s really sweet, okay I give you that” you breath in heavily he almost felt your struggle. “But please, this should be the last time. We really cant”

You wait for him to open the locks, his eyes are sad and you could see right through him.

“Look at you, about to leave me again. And me, letting you go for the second time around.” He moved slow while reaching the lock, but he opens it eventually and you got out of the beautiful car hoping you will never ride it again.

On the following days, you’ve been thinking about him. Learning facts about him and his company not sure why you’re doing this, but maybe it’s because you miss him. You don’t see him wait around the campus and actually, you hope someday he comes back. What you said to him made you guilty for days and it kept you up every night. Wendy said you were a little too harsh on him, she thinks Jaehyun can’t hurt a fly and that she thinks he has genuine feelings towards you. “Age doesn’t matter!” She finally pulled that card, you scoffed handed her coffee. “Yes it does!” You said, not admitting defeat.  

It was really exhausting in school lately, all of your professors are giving you a hard time and your major subjects are killing your. All you wanted to do is sleep and rest before you focus on everything that you need to accomplish.

On second thought, you figured you cant do that right now because Jaehyun is waiting for you again beside his black Lamborghini. Not thinking how your day was and you try to set aside everything for him, you were happy to see him for the first time. You sigh and walked towards him, not saying a word as you opened the door of his car, he quickly got in. Not letting him greet you, you told him to drive.

“Don’t take me home just yet” you put your hand on your face and you removed your glasses, “drive somewhere else I’m exhausted”

He took you somewhere quiet, dark and you’re certain that you guys are alone. “Tired?” He asked, breaking the silence. You nod, still not saying a word.

“Im sorry if I showed up again” he removed his seatbelt and hovers beside you, making the car seat comfortable for you so you could lay down. “Thanks” again, thats sweet of him you thought.

“Actually, I was happy to see you” you said nervously. He smiled for the first time tonight, and it made your heart jump.

“You were?” He asked almost in shock. You see his ears turned red again, and that made you laugh. “Your ears are red” you moved up from your comfort and reach for his ears.

“Yeah. That’s what happens when I get flustered” he told you with all his honesty, still smiling wide.

You run your fingers through his nape slowly, trying not to scratch him again like last time. And just like that, you leaned on him and kissed him. Just a peck, not how you used to kiss him back then. It made him flustered more, his ears looked like its going to explode.

“Jaehyun, why me?” very brave of you to asked after kissing him. You leaned back getting comfortable again in your seat.

“Because I feel alive when I’m around you, I know we met through sex but after that, I want to keep you. You were warm, and I felt that when you were tending on my wounds” he reached for your hand, holding it with full sincerity, “you want to be loved. I can say by the way we fucked and I do to. I want someone and I want that someone to be you”

You intertwined your fingers with his, filling the gaps and playing with his hands while enjoying the silence.

“I told you, I have nothing to offer. What you see you, is what you get Jaehyun. But I will try fill in these gaps, for as long as I can” you held is hand, showing him your point. He smiled brightly, his ears turning red again.

“How are we gonna do this without people thinking you’re a sugar daddy” You continue to play with his right hand, “Your car alone gave out sugar daddy vibes when you pick me up from school.”

He hums, playing with your fingers too, “I can fix that”

“Oh and please no Christian Grey stuff, no fifty shades type of situation” he let out a small laugh, he nods, his eyes getting small from giggling.

“What made you change your mind?” He suddenly leans forward to you, it made you nervous again.

“The chance of experiencing love, through you” ssatisfied by your answer, he kissed you gently like he has never done before.

Weeks passed by and youre still exhausted from school. Finishing half of your school works does not lessen your stress, but looking forward to see Jaehyun after class everday makes you happy and that thought alone can get you through the day.

The moment he arrived and you finally get to see him again, you almost faint from laughing so hard but you love what he did just so you could get comfortable around him.

He picks you up with a different car, a car similar to any normal student driver in your school. He’s wearing a plain black shirt, denim pants and clean white shoes.

But the highlight of Jaehyun’s change for today is... his purple hair.

You clapped your hands, telling him you’re impressed with the sudden change and you admire the effort just so no one would suspect that he’s older than you.

“Anything for you, y/n” and kissed your cheek, opening the front seat for you.

You’ve been dating for months now and there’s nothing but happiness everyday. Your relationship with Jaehyun became a normal relationship where sometimes you both fight like crazy, but at the end of the day both of you will compromise. Knowing each other’s likes and dislikes, studying each other’s personality, even the smallest detail is important for the both of you.

Understanding Jaehyun’s line of work was a little heavy for you but he made sure that spending time with you will never clash on his duties as Vice President. In line with that you met his friends Johnny and Yuta, the guys he’s with the night you first met turned out to be his best friends and business partners.

The purple hair did not last long, although you both loved it but you thought it’s not really necessary but it was a good memory and reminder that Jaehyun will do everything just to keep you.

As part of getting to know you more, Jaehyun knew how to make your day better specially when you’re exhausted, he figured out that you like comfortable silence that you like thinking to sort things out on your own. What Jaehyun does is, he holds your hands every time you’re silent, letting you know he’s with you and he’s ready to help when you need him.

Fitting in each other’s worlds was the hardest for the both of you. The age difference was a big factor and sometimes the root of all the fights you’ve had. There was this moment when Mark was fooling around like how he normally does, telling you about something what he wants for his birthday that requires just the two of you in dorm and Jaehyun took it seriously so he punched Mark on the face.

One time when you visited Jaehyun at his office you overheard employees talk about Jaehyun being your sugar daddy and that you’re immature for someone very successful like Jaehyun. Sometimes you hear them talk how Jaehyun’s ex, Rosè was so much better and more beautiful than you. It hurt a lot.

It was never easy for the both of you but you love each other dearly and try to work things out quickly as much as possible. Sex was almost a stranger in your relationship, Jaehyun never asked to have sex with you even though sometimes you think he might need some adult stress reliever and you wanted to offer sex. A hot make out session already satisfies Jaehyun which is very surprising.

Valentines day came in and its his birthday at the same time, he invited you to his all white birthday party that his mother organised. Who are you to say no?

“What do we say when they ask us where did we meet?” You both know the honest answer is not the right thing to say.

“Just tell them, you work from one the companies and I laid eyes on you... the most beautiful girl in the building” he said while kissing your neck up and down careful not to leave a mark.

You giggle and pushed him away, “see you later. And happy birthday. I love you” you kissed him, putting a little bit of tongue and you moaned lightly making him horny. You’ve been teasing him nowadays, trying to make him have sex with you for his birthday.

“You know, we’ve never done it after the night we first met” he bit his lips, “what do you say? Tonight? For the Valentine boy?”

Success. You laughed and kissed him again, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me to have sex with me you dork” you see Wendy walking towards your dorm, she is going to help you prepare for tonight. You pushed the door open and waved goodbye to Jaehyun. “I’ll pick you up at 7” Jaehyun adds and drove away.

For tonight’s formal gathering, you don’t really want to catch attention but it would be nice if people will start to recognise you as Jaehyun’s girlfriend. Officially. Following the dress code for tonight, all white. A lacy tea length dress that has an off shoulder sleeves, perfectly flashing your assets showing a little bit of cleavage. Wendy did your hair, a messy bun thats actually neat. Finishing with a diamond earring that Jaehyun gave for your birthday. Hoping your nude high heels will not kill your feet tonight, you went out of your dorm Jaehyun waiting for you outside.

If you thought you’d shine tonight, forget it. Your boyfriend looked so good he already outshined you. But kidding aside, Jaehyun looked ethereal tonight wearing his gray customised suit made by Dior. He’s the only one wearing something with color tonight.

He was staring down at you long and hard, not smiling and you wonder why.

“I think maybe, I shouldn’t take you to the party” Jaehyun said making you nervous.

“I think I might take you straight to the hotel room” you can finally breath, knowing he’s just playing with you. “I dont want anyone looking at my girl” reaching for your hand, Jaehyun kisses it softly and opens the door.

“Let’s just survive this night together and I’m all yours” he said before driving.

Upon arriving at the venue, Jaehyun’s mother welcomed him and greets him a happy birthday. His father standing next giving him a tight hug.

Jaehyun never forgets you, he held your hand the entire time keeping you close and he constantly ask if you’re okay. “Im perfectly fine Jae, don’t worry” you made sure he never ask you again.

During the party, you saw Johnny, Taeyong and Yuta one of Jaehyun’s closest friends, you greet them and they were happy to see you.

“You look beautiful” Yuta whispers behind you, making you laugh and nervous at the same time. You both know he had always laid eyes on you from the moment you two first met at the bar, the night when you first met Jaehyun too.

Jaehyun always saw any man lingering around you, as a threat. For him, anyone can steal you away from him and let’s not forget what happened to Mark after Jaehyun knew he was hitting on you in school. But Yuta was a different story, Yuta is an actual threat because Jaehyun knew how Yuta works to steal someone. The moment Yuta tries to make a move he cant just punch him in the face like what he did to Mark. Jaehyun’s family and Yuta’s family worked hand in hand in the world of business for decades already, so punching Yuta in the face is definitely not worth it.

When he saw Yuta talking to you, he steals you away from Yuta telling him, “Sorry. I need her to meet some of the family from England.” You thank Jaehyun for saving you from Yuta, he told you he can see right through him thats why.

“Auntie Elizabeth, I’d like you to meet y/n, my girlfriend” Jaehyun introduces you to a whole table full of English people. Feeling so out of place, you try to be quiet and eat your food slowly to keep yourself busy.

“So y/n what do you do in life?” Auntie Petunia blurted out of nowhere. She’s the one Jaehyun warned you about, the meanest among all of his family.

When you were just about to answer her question, you were surprised how she knew almost every important detail. “We all know you’re still a student, a college delay an irregular student of... oh where does she go again? Anyway. Im surprised when Jaehyun and Rosè broke up. I heard you were devastated, my dear Jaehyun”

Jaehyun tries to smile nicely, and just nods. He reached for your hand under the table, calming your trembling hand.

Aunt Petunia sips on her wine, you wanted her to continue talking. “Johnny told us that you were so devastated, you guys went out to a bar and got wasted! Haha!” everyone in the table laughed even though theres nothing funny about what she says.

You down a glass of water, trying to digest everything she says in front of you and Jaehyun’s family. You didn’t know that Rosè was the reason why Jaehyun was at the bar with Johnny and Yuta that night. Auntie Petunia also told everyone that Rosè was in New York now, being successful in the fashion industry. She flex about Rosè as if she’s the mother.

You put up with every person Jaehyun wanted you to meet tonight, listen to auntie Petunia talk about how Jaehyun and Rosè were a perfect couple. You try so hard to be invisible for the rest of the night not wanting to meet another person who will think lowly of you.

Drinking alone by the bar, you down 5 shots of tequila already making yourself numb enough not to care about the party. You find Yuta beside you handling you more shots to drink with him. He asked for a toast, not saying a word, as if he could feel what you feel right now. You’re almost thankful he’s here.

“It will pass” he said after sucking some lime. “Everything is overwhelming but it’s just for one night. Jaehyun’s family is always like this, you should prepare yourself for the future if you’re going to marry him someday” he downed another shot, not taking a lime this time.

You watch him down 2 more shots. He looked beautiful you thought. Long silver hair, tied in a pony tail with a couple of braids, his ear piercings catching too much attention, long slender fingers with silver rings.

“You know I never thought you’d look so handsome wearing something formal but still the rockstar look is present” you said bravely, hoping he doesn’t take it as flirting with him.

He scoffs and he got closer to you, putting his hand around your waist, you can feel his hot breath over your exposed shoulders.

“And I never thought I’d be so attracted to you y/n” he said with a low voice, almost a whisper, too careful so anyone would not hear him. “leave Jaehyun and have a normal relationship with me” he bravely added as if Jaehyun was not his friend.

“You’re drunk” you said not moving an inch from him. “And you’re world is not different from Jaehyun. You live in a fancy world too, Mr.”

“Unlike Jaehyun I’m not involved with business, yet. Also” he grabs your chin and he made you look at him, “I’m way younger than him” You breathed deeply hoping its just the alcohol that’s talking, hoping you could push him away but his warm presence saves you from this place.   “Y/n, baby?” Jaehyun’s voice made you come back to reality and Yuta excused himself leaving you to Jaehyun. “I’ve been looking all over for you baby” he said caressing your back.

“Sorry. We were just talking about how the tequila tastes good without the lime” you lied to Jaehyun and you can’t believe you did that.

When it’s almost time to go home, Jaehyun knew you were hurt and overwhelmed about all thats happened tonight. “Almost done babe” he said as a form of comfort. Remembering what he said earlier, survive together. But It feels like you’re already dead and hopeless from the moment you stepped out of the car.

Jaehyun was busy saying his goodbyes to his family and friends, Yuta was staring at you with his cold sharp eyes before you get in Jaehyun’s car. The drive to the hotel was painfully silent. He thought it’s the comfortable silence that you loved so he grabbed your hand hoping he could help you out as he always does, but this time you dodge his hand for the first time.

You silently removed the pins from your hair, removing the diamond earring, trying to massage your foot. He knew that you’re far from being okay.

“You told me theres nothing wrong” he used that tone that’s not so caring of him, you hated that tone with all your gut. “You’re acting like a child” and that was the cherry on top of this perfect night you thought.

You scoffed, “Am I not?”

“No. You’re a grown woman who knows right from wrong” Jaehyun tries to stop himself from getting mad.

“And you’re a much grown man who should know better. Better than choosing a much younger girl to be your girlfriend” you spit out not looking at him. The drive was quiet on your way to the hotel and neither one of you wanted to get out of the car.

You’re already freezing and you can’t take it anymore. Wearing your high heels again you left you birthday gift on the dashboard, ready to leave the moment you see a cab waiting in front of the hotel.

“So much for surviving the night together Jaehyun. Im sorry I ruined your day” and you opened the door leaving him and getting inside a cab before he tries to stop you.

Jaehyun realised that’s where he went wrong, he dragged you in his life and he knew he’s responsible no matter what happens. He didn’t mentioned that he saw Yuta flirting with you and taking his chance while he is busy with his guests. Jaehyun knew its his fault that you’re overwhelmed with everything tonight. Not to mention some of his family were completely rude to you plus meeting the whole family all at once, Auntie Petunia’s stories about Rosè, and the fight during the drive.

He didn’t even get the chance to bring out his gift and give you flowers for Valentines. Days have passed after the fight and Jaehyun didn’t even bother to talk to you. Maybe he’s busy with meetings, talking to his fellow CEOs or what not. Your anger was long gone but you just want him to show that he still cares for you and this relationship.

You just finished having a hot shower and you were drying your hair when you received an message from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun: Hi princess, are you free tonight?

You: Yes.

Jaehyun: I’ll pick you up in 10 minutes. ----------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for reading if youre at this point! Comments, and reactions are welcome! I will love you if you talk to me. Part 3 will be posted soon, maybe later tonight. hihi Thanks again! TALK TO ME :) 

[kawaiijellymonster]

Okay so I have a kind of crazy idea/thought. As you may know, I have a complicated relationship with religion. I was raised christian, I hate it, I also hate that it’s so incorporated in my brain. My thoughts on religion have often been summed up as “it’s pretty much russian roulette, you pick a religion and maybe its the right one and hooray you get the afterlife you want, but more likely you pick the wrong one and you’re fucked” which is incredibly stressful for me so I pretty much threw it all out.

However, recently I had a conversation with a friend about the definition of and uses of religion because I had a co-worker say “you have to have something to pray to or it’ll drive you mad” and I read a fic that will come into play later, and I read a story here on tumblr that made me think about it some more. 

Put very very simply, I want to create a religion and I need help because my adhd brain won’t let me focus. 

So the first thing when you start any endeavor is to define what you’re doing. In this scenario I am trying to define religion. Now, a while ago my friend used to ask the science teachers at school “why��� questions until he pissed them off enough they passed him to the next teacher, and finally the new ap environmental teacher said “Science can only answer cosmic ‘how’ questions, Religion is for answering cosmic ‘why’ questions” basically saying “no I can’t tell you why gravity works (bc that's religion), but I can tell you how”. So if I’m creating a definition religion it needs to have the capability of answering all cosmic why questions. 

Therefore: “Religion is a humans attempt to understand and explain life, existence, and purpose as well as put that understanding to work in their everyday life” 

Now you might be saying “but Christi! what does that second part have to do with answering cosmic why questions!?” and this is where I say it doesn’t but it is part of the why of religion. “Why do people participate in religion?” aside from the aforementioned me and my friend came up with a couple reasons people do religion which are:

To cope with events/thoughts

As a framework or guide for how to live life

To take responsibility for actions and thoughts away from the self

As someone to talk to

Establishment of a routine

 The third one is actually the one that references to a fic, basically a character got overwhelmed because finals and too much coffee and hearing too much and migraines, and then their significant other came home and guided character A into a kneeling position on the floor while person B sat on the couch with his thighs on either side of person A. This allowed person A to have this “I’m safe and protected and I don’t need to be on edge, anything that happens is no longer up to me” kind of thought process that I think we tend to also apply to religion. That idea of “if god wants me to do well on this test then I will” or “these bad/good things happened because god wanted them to” you can easily come up with more examples. 

The first, and the last two are in reference to this tumblr post not to talk too long but basically a small god has a tiny shrine, he doesn’t have much power but a farmer prays to him every day, and bad things happen and the little god can’t do anything to prevent it, and the farmer still prays because this little god means something to him, its a routine, its someone to talk to, and as his fields burn down and his family dies he has a dedication that he can use to cope. It’s kind of tragically beautiful and I 100% recommend you read that story btw. 

Now for like frameworks of how to live life I don’t really have all that many that my god will have but here are the few I do have:

Try to improve, never settle for the way you are now and always try to be kinder

Don’t tolerate ignorance or scorn when it causes damage

Never put yourself in a situation that makes you viscerally uncomfortable

Doing your best is good enough

Say no to drugs and alcohol (this is just a personal preference) 

Remain humble in all that you do, never expect to be the best 

However if someone treats you as though you know nothing, prove them wrong

If it makes you happy it’s worth it

But basically, I need help coming up with more of the nuts and bolts of who this god will be, what their name will be, other frameworky “how to live life” kinds of things, maybe some lore too. I really want it to be the kind of god that has a shrine simply because of the aesthetic. 

As a PSA it will be a god that supports all variants of LGBTQ+ and nerf’s TERFS because we don’t support that in this good non christian sapphic household. 

So yeah if you wanna help and be in my lil cult I guess this is gonna be, DM me with your snapchat and I can create like a groupchat or something (no I don’t have discord, don’t attack me), or send an ask with thoughts/suggestions on the subject to either @kawaiijellymonster or @girlsareverypretty (they’re both me). 

[thebad---catholic]

My problems with AOS

Well here I am, 10 years late with an opinion no one asked for, but I have to write this down and throw into the void so that I can be at peace. I’ve been salty about this film franchise for a very long time now. This will mostly focus on Star Trek (2009) with the other two movies sprinkled in.

1. Starfleet

Honestly where do I even begin? In TOS, Starfleet was modeled after the navy (idk how accurately, but Roddenberry was in the air force so I’m assuming he’d know how all that works). You can get a feel for the chain of command, and everything feels natural with character ages and things like that. There’s a procedure for everything.

AOS Starfleet feels more like a high school club than an interplanetary exploration organization. Jim is supposed to be twenty-five when he gets the rank of captain- after he was almost expelled for cheating. He has no idea how to operate or run a starship. TOS Kirk moved through the ranks of Starfleet and was promoted on merit and leadership skills- he worked for his position.

Why was Jim the only person who knew what was happening when Nero showed up? Was there any requirements to joining to Starfleet other than get on the shuttle? Why did the linguist not know the difference between Vulcan and Romulan when they’re the linguist? How did Pike bypass the chain of command to appoint Jim Kirk as First Officer which was an obvious show of favoritism to someone was about to be thrown out of the academy? Why the fuck was he allowed to keep the title of captain? What the fuck?

Speaking of Jim.

2. Jim Kirk’s Character

I...don’t like Jim’s character in this film. It’s not terrible for a younger version of Kirk, but like I said though, there’s no reason Kirk should be this young. And in this one he’s just kinda a douche.

We know from TOS that Kirk gets around, but he genuinely cares for his exes, and in general respects women. He uses sex appeal as a strategy, but more than anything this comes off as a subversion of the femme fatal trope bc Kirk is a man. In the movie, he’s just a standard action movie protag who has lots of sex just because.

The scene when the Orion woman says she loves him and he replied “that’s so weird” is just...so weird? Like I can’t imagine Kirk doing anything in that situation than backing off and explaining that he doesn’t feel the same way. The scene continues with him hiding under the bed when Uhura walks in. Watching how the camera angle makes Jim out to be a voyeur made me uncomfortable then and it still does. It could be explained that Jim is trying to figure out Uhura’s identity or that he’s listening in and people look at who they’re listening to but like...she was in her underwear. You shouldn’t look at people while they’re getting undressed, especially when they don’t even know you’re there? Is that a hot take? Apparently.

In TOS there’s this really nice scene in This Side of Paradise(S1E24) where the whole crew is high (again) and has abandoned ship, leaving Kirk to tend to things. We see Jim move around the ship with a little clip pad and make the proper checks. This is a captain who knows his stuff. That is the Kirk we should have seen if we’re going to see Jim become captain.

AOS kirk goes through a standard “stop being an asshole” arc commonplace for male protagonists, but this happens well past the point he should stop being an asshole. Either the AOS series should’ve been a prequel with Jim becoming captain at the end of the trilogy, or he should’ve been older with a completely different arc- maybe coming to terms with his rank? Imposter syndrome? Learning to trust his crew and building trust with them? Building a friendship with Spock and McCoy? There’s a lot to work with here.

3. Spock and Uhura’s relationship

Why. Like why. For what. Por Que.

I like giving Uhura a bigger role, I don’t like making her a love interest to do that.

It doesn’t make sense for either of their characters. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, linguist expert who handles all transmissions to and from the enterprise- an icon of black women’s representation is now demoted to Spock’s nagging girlfriend. This bothers me more than a little bit.

It manages to make even less sense for Spock. A hallmark of Spock’s character is his duality. He struggles to combat his emotions and the human half of him. His repeating character arc in TOS is coming to terms with humanity while upholding the Vulcan way of life. Having him in an established romantic relationship before this arc is supposed to happen just makes for a boring romantic subplot about a relationship that shouldn’t happen and that I don’t care about.

TOS Vulcan culture is kinda shitty. Explicitly patriarchal and stuff, and also kinda racist against humans. The source of Spock’s inner conflict is not himself but a society that views him as lesser for being half human. However, one thing that I can certainly understand from a “logical” (logic in quotations bc racism and sexism is fucking stupid) people is ritualized arranged marriages. It just...makes sense to me that Vulcans would simply have their mates chosen for them and then marry that person and be done with it. Neat. Logical. Conformity.

This makes Spock and Uhura’s relationship even stranger. Why would Spock go so against conformity that he dates someone before he truly comes to terms with himself? Even if they throw out ponfarr and arranged marriage, it still doesn’t work but now it especially doesn’t work.

My personal theory is that Spock and Uhura’s relationship was established purely to make shippers shut up. It’s no secret Spirk is the most popular ship from TOS. I have no doubt they knew this while writing the movie. So to quietly wrap a no homo on Spock and Kirk’s friendship, they use Uhura as a prop to do so.

The teacher/student dynamic should only be relegated to fan fiction and the throwaway line about oral sensitivity makes me cringe. Every. Time.

4. McCoy

Karl Urbans performance is easily my favorite part of this movie. He captures DeForrest Kelley so well it hurts. He made Leonard Nimoy cry. His chemistry with Pine made McKirk go from the most underrated triumvirate ship in TOS to rival Spirks popularity in AOS. His scenes with Zachary Quinto are just *chefs kiss*.

So why doesn’t he have more of a role? The triumvirate is missing a third.

In particular, there’s a scene where Uhura, Kirk, and Spock make their way down to a planet to talk to a Klingon. I can’t remember which movie it was or why, but Spock and Uhura were bickering and Kirk remarks “can we do this later?”

The line was funny. It would’ve been golden if it was McCoy and not Uhura.

A fantastic performance by an underutilized character in a movie where that character should’ve been at the forefront.

5. Representation

I am skeptical of any movie that advertises diversity. Nonetheless, it made me happy to know Sulu was going to be gay. This is Star Trek after all, known for its diversity and large LGBT fan base, and an homage to George Takai who’s a gay man irl. So whatever.

The fact that I wasn’t expecting much says a lot about the current state of LGBT rep in media but this blink-and-you-miss-it shit is really starting to get to me.

I mean he jus- he doesn’t even give his husband a KISS. Like why.

6. Destroying Vulcan

WHY. Oh god why.

This isn’t Star Wars, JJ. We don’t do that here.

Imploding Vulcan was the most god awful shock value bullshit plot device I’ve ever seen in a movie and it was done entirely to make Spock sad. Besides the gaping plot hole of “why did Nero go back in time to destroy Vulcan when he could’ve just saved Romulus” I’m just grasping to find a purpose for this particular event. New fans don’t care at all about Vulcan while I was enraged that they would do Amanda that dirty.

It’s not just that they did that, it’s more that they did it like that. Vulcan’s destruction should’ve caused a federation wide meltdown as the biggest catastrophe in the entire franchise. If they were gonna make the stakes so pointlessly high, they should’ve treated the destruction of Vulcan exactly how they would treat the destruction of earth. There a million ways to treat that event with more gravity and million better plot lines that don’t involve G E N O C I D E

7. Miscellaneous petty bullshit because I’m a baby

-lower the fucking stakes Jesus Christ

-Don’t like the set. It’s bright and white and boring and gives me a headache. You don’t need a remake of the old set but like have fun ya know? Shit looks like an Apple store.

-Christine and I are the same in that we are both soft and are thirsty for Spock. Imagine my surprise to learn she wasn’t fucking there. Same with Janice but I’m more pressed about Christine. I don’t even remember the name of that blonde doctor lady who is Not Christine but i didn’t want her.

-The costumes in AOS look boring but still don’t feel like a uniform either. I deadass think Chris Pines outfit in the SNL skit looked better than the actual movie (minor adjustments needed)

-I didn’t notice this at first but someone pointed out that women’s uniforms don’t signify rank and now I can’t not see it. I don’t...think this movie treats women good? Or McCoy? Or just people who deserve better?

-Lens Flare

-I get why they did it but I don’t like that they misquoted the opening theme to say “no one” instead of “no man”. I probably wouldn’t have even notice except they gave the line to Uhura. Comes off as just a touch too “yay feminism” which is really rich coming from that treated Uhura like an object to be looked at when she wasn’t too busy being Spock’s emotional support gf, and completely cut two women from the main cast.

8. Conclusions

If I could describe these movies in one word it’d be generic. Which sucks because Star Trek far from generic.

They’re fun to watch but not think about. It was nice that I got to see a Star Trek movie in theaters. I just wish it as the same Trek I saw on TV.