#cause other people that had that image also turned out to be really awful people and I'm starting to see a pattern here
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weishenkun · 2 years ago
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Genuine question, why do you hate Lucas? I know there were some sort of allegations made against him but I thought they were proven false??
Was it tho? People were debunking debunked stuff so like whatever but thanks to you i remember now the whole bl manga argument and that is still hilarious 😍 I do think that if it was completely fake, sm/labelv would drop a statement and idk show their support? And yeah you can argue they just announced him leaving the group now (and honest to God i have no idea what solo market is he supposed to have) but it's still him leaving and not him staying. I also at least blame him for the wayv hiatus and his fans are fucking annoying and don't respect literally anyone else and like i can be delusional but they're on another level soooo fuck that dude :D
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sourbinnie · 2 years ago
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☆ old faces, new smiles ☆
♡ genre ¿? ♡ -> 9th member + fluff ♡ pair ¿? ♡ -> ot8!skz + 9th member!reader (gender neutral) ♡ plot ¿? ♡ -> when familiar faces recognize you and your members are astonished that you didn't tell them some news. ♡ warnings ¿? ♡ -> none ♡ request ¿? ♡ -> yes!
a/n: doing another 9th member au! i'm guessing that's what you meant:] also your english is good and you don't bother me at all. sorry i didn't respond sooner. another le sserafim cameo for my collection. also i'm sorry if this is too short:( you can always request again!
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doing variety shows or interviews wasn't a new thing to you. ever since you've been a stray kids member you've been put in so many situations, hard to count how much you went through with your members. so when you had to do a shared interview with another group, it didn't really come as a surprise. you knew it was gonna be from hybe and you expected to see some of your old friends so that got you kinda excited. 
you weren't sure if any of the boys knew that you had been on hybe before joining jyp. you spent most of your trainee days there before you moved to jyp and joined the competition where stray kids was formed. you weren't even sure if this group was gonna remember you. it turned out that the group invited was le sserafim and that brought even more excitement. you could remember when chaewon and sakura joined, meeting yunjin and kazuha way before they would debut and seeing eunchae grow up before your eyes. 
bowing before them backstage, they were all excited to see you and you ended up receiving a hug from yunjin. your own members weren't sure where you had met before since some of them just debuted but they didn't say anything.
as you all sat down and talked, being asked questions from left to right and got to know each other better, something was brought up.
"(y/n)! we've got a question for you. is it true you were originally a trainee for hybe?" the host asked and you nodded shyly, which caused all your members to stare at you.
"no way (y/n), you didn't tell them?" kazuha asked and this time you shook your head leaving every single one of them in disbelief.
"okay. so basically i was in hybe for a long time but then had to move and jyp was closer so i just switched companies. i remember meeting a lot of trainees that now are idols and that makes me very happy." you said smiling and that was a satisfying answer to the host. 
"i can't believe you've never told us!" changbin said and you just shrugged your shoulders like you weren't at fault. you were not secretive but if people didn't ask you about certain things, you just didn't tell them. 
"can't believe our (y/n) wouldn't have debuted with us." felix added and you blushed as all eyes were on you again especially when they started showing pictures. "oh my god, you look so tiny."
"they still are!" seungmin said and you hit him slightly on the arm. stray kids and height were never gonna be a a good combo to talk about no matter the member. "ouch, why did you do that?".
"you know well." you responded laughing and covering your face when they showed your audition tape. "god no, please end me, can we move on?"
"no way, i have to get this tape when it's done." minho said and you death glared him, a warning sign. "okay maybe not, don't ever look at me like that again. i've never felt chills like that before."
you all laughed at that as you tried to hide behind jeongin from all the "awful" videos and images that were shown. even after all the embarrassment you managed to get through the rest of the interview, talking about your experiences with the le sserafim members. taking a selca with them and then doing each other's challenges. it was crazy to think that you might've debuted with them or another group in the future but here you were in another company and a group that you loved very much.
"can't believe you've never told us for real." chan said when you were backstage and you just sighed. "now that i think about it, it was rare how you knew most of hybe's idols."
"also the fact that they appeared in jyp out of nowhere and being a complete ace." jisung said and if you didn't wanna kill them before from the embarrassment they were making you feel, it was evident now. "don't hit me like you did with seungmin."
"i wasn't going to. i think, i don't know. why is it such a big deal anyways?" you said as hyunjin sat next to you and you laid your head on his shoulder. "it was so long ago too."
"i know, it's just surprising, you know? that we have such a talented member in our group and that they chose to be with us." chan said as minho rolled his eyes because damn was that cheesy. "come on, i'm trying to be nice why are y'all looking at me like that?"
"you're just a cheeseball for real hyung." jeongin said which made you laugh as he got chased around in the dressing room by chan. 
"(y/n), darling these are for you!" changbin said as he entered and handed you some flowers with some gifts. "they told me to deliver this to you and that we shouldn't mess with them, yadda yadda it's yours!"
as you checked the label, you couldn't help but smile and feel the warmness entering your heart. it was the sweetest thing you've had the pleasure of reading today.
"we missed you and loved seeing you again from le ssera to (y/n)." you read out loud which made you all "aw" like love fools and close the day off with a beautiful gift like that, couldn't have been better. you held on tight to the flowers as so many memories as a trainee in hybe passed you by that now led to being with stray kids and being the happiest you had ever been. there was nothing better than this you thought to yourself as you looked around the dorm to see all your members. you could get used to this. 
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spookymystery67 · 9 months ago
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I Wish I Could Walk In Heels
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AN: Long time no see. This took way longer than I had hoped. I guess life is really kicking my ass right now, so apologies. I really appreciate all the support from everyone who reads/comments/likes my story. It really helps with motivation when I feel like my writing is awful. I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I'm hoping that now that we're moving on to the actual game story line that it will be easier to get chapters out now that I don't have to rely fully on my imagination. It's lacking right now lol. Enjoy!
-2004-
Chapter 19:
“You'd think you and I would have learned our lesson by now.” 
“Just help me get down, you lunatic.” You grumbled once you could look at her properly, as you were finally done spinning in uncontrollable circles.
Ada couldn't keep her composure any longer and let out an amused laugh at your predicament. She tried a few times to stop and regain her breathing, successfully doing so before she looked back up at you, only to begin laughing harder once more when she caught your unamused glare. 
She couldn't take you seriously when you were hanging upside down by your left leg from a beam, struggling to get yourself free from the tangle of wire as you growled at yourself over your failure. Your growling was turned to aim at her when she had made no move to help you down and her laughter showed no sign of slowing down.
“Ada, my love. Please stop laughing and get me down from here.” You said as sweetly as possible through your irritation. You were becoming more and more lightheaded the longer you were stuck up there and your leg was going numb from holding all your weight.
Ada had to brace her hands against her knees to stop herself from falling over due to her laughter throwing her off balance. She stood to full height as her laughter slowed down to a stop, looking at you with fondness and love in her expression.
“Of course, my love.” She moves to help carefully untangle you. “You know, maybe it's time you give up on the grappling hook. It's only ever caused you pain and embarrassment.”
“True, but it also brings you amusement.” You pointed out. Ada nodded in agreement.
“Definitely. But I don't want to see you get hurt, dear. Plus, it's been six years. It's just not meant to be if you haven't got the hang of it by now.” Ada said as she finally untangled you. She quickly caught you as you fell, placing you gently on the ground and holding you steady as you tried to get over the dizziness that nearly made you tumble to the floor of the abandoned warehouse building you both chose to practice in.
You huffed in disappointment. “But I don't want to give it up. It's cool.”
Ada smirked. “Only when you can actually use it correctly.” You playfully shoved her away from you in response to her teasing.
“Well, apparently not everyone can be as cool as you.”
Ada shook her head in amusement as she wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you in close. “Oh hush. You are cool. Just in your own, unique, way that others may not fully understand.” She cooed.
You raised a brow, unimpressed with her teasing attempt to “comfort” your bruised ego. But, you couldn't resist her soft smile and beautiful brown eyes for long. 
Your face broke into a smile and you gave up on being fake angry with her. “Fine. I give up. Clearly the only people that can use grappling hooks are you and Batman.”
“Does Batman use grappling hooks?” Ada questioned, having no knowledge on comic book superheroes.
You shrugged. “How else does he get on top of those tall ass buildings to stare out into Gotham City and brood?”
“The elevator?” Ada sassed.
The mental image you conjured up of Bruce Wayne dressed up as Batman trying to ride an elevator to the top without being seen by civilians makes you let out a cackle. Ada looked as proud as she always did to get that reaction out of you from her stupid jokes.
“So, I was thinking.” Ada started, still holding you in her embrace. “Maybe we can take a break from work for a while. Have a little vacation for a few weeks and just enjoy each other's company.”
You looked back up at her with surprise. “Ada Wong, the most workaholic person I have ever known, wants to take a break from work?” 
Ada raised a brow and squeezed your waist tighter with a smirk. “Is that not what I just said? Do we need to get your hearing checked?” She said as she lightly flicked your ear.
You swatted her hand away with a fake glare. “Well excuse me for being skeptical. Any breaks that we've had over the last six years were the result of me whining and begging you to submit due to sheer annoyance.”
“I was never annoyed with you. I just like to play hard to get.” 
You looked at her in mock confusion. “Hmm, you weren't that hard for me to get.”
“But if anyone asks, I was. I have a reputation to uphold here.” Ada teased. She playfully booped your nose just to see it scrunch up in reaction. Her smile widened as your brows furrowed in slight irritation from the gesture. “So… is that vacation a no?”
You quickly shake your head. “No! Not a no. I wouldn't mind taking a breather. Any place you have in mind?”
Ada shrugged with a smug smirk. “I have an idea or two. But it's a surprise.” 
You had a love/hate relationship with surprises. Under normal circumstances, you hated not knowing what “surprise” someone thought up involving you. But with Ada, you tend to love whatever surprise she had for you. She never did anything that would make you uncomfortable and always took note of whatever interested you and kept them in mind for said surprises in the future. 
“Hmm, alright. Knowing you, I wouldn't hate it.” You accepted.
Ada goes to respond when a voice from behind you interrupted, making her freeze for a moment as she looked over your shoulder.
“So this is what you have been up to these last six years, Ada. Playing house.”
You quickly turned to face the intruder as Ada moved to subtly stand slightly between you and the unknown man. He looked vaguely familiar. But you couldn't quite put a finger on it.
Though judging by the way Ada was immediately on guard, you could easily assume the stranger was bad news.
“I quite honestly never pegged you as the type to settle down. You always seemed to prefer to be constantly on the move.” The man said.
You observed him as he walked closer to the two of you. His demeanor screamed professional and dangerous. The type of guy with a no nonsense and straight to business attitude. He seemed completely unbothered by your presence, or by the gun in your hand that you took out and had pointed at him as you moved to stand by Ada. So she wouldn't be in the crossfire.
The man had blonde, slicked back hair and pale skin. His age seemed to be around his thirties or forties from what you could tell. He wore dark, professional clothing and donned a pair of sunglasses that covered the color of his eyes. 
The sunglasses kind of reminded you of when Ada had worn hers back in Raccoon City, as they were completely pointless in the dimmed lighting of the warehouse you and Ada had deemed appropriate for training.
“Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises.” Ada purred dryly. Her guard was up. Her mask on. Unbothered. Toeing the line between professional and flirty. She nudged you slightly, her way of telling you to put your gun down. You listened, trusting her to know how best to handle the situation.
“I'm fully aware. Don't think I have forgotten that you had backed out of our deal, Ada. You're lucky I have more important things to concern myself with other than wanting you and your little girlfriend dead.” The man said. 
Oh. 
You should have known.
This was Albert Wesker. That's why he looked familiar. You had seen a picture of him six years ago when you were snooping through files just before Raccoon city fell. You also, very clearly, remembered that this man had wanted you dead and for Ada to do the job. You wondered if that was still the case, but decided to keep your mouth shut for the time being.
“Why are you here?” Ada questioned, wanting nothing more than to get you away from the man. But, she had to engage in conversation with him. She already knew that fighting your way out of this would be pointless and needlessly dangerous for the both of you. 
She could handle this without endangering you.
“Business. I have a job for you. One that requires your particular skill set. Despite your previous failure,” Even with his sunglasses on, you could tell from his tone alone that he was giving you the side eye. “I am willing to give you another chance. And you will be paid, of course.”
Ada raised a brow as she swayed closer to shield you once more. 
“That doesn't sound like you. Giving people second chances.” She skeptically stated. Though, it sounded almost like playful teasing with her mask on. You saw right through it.
“You're not the only one who is full of surprises.” Wesker deadpanned. He seemed bored of the entire conversation.
She smirked. “And if I refuse?” Ada seemed to already know the answer to this question, but asked it anyway.
“Simple. I will kill your little girlfriend here.” He pointed toward you, before turning back to Ada. “And then I will kill you. But you already knew this. Don't waste my time with idiotic questions. Now, what will it be?”
You didn't really like being so casually threatened. But you stayed silent.
Ada glanced back at you, who was quiet throughout the conversation, debating. While you felt you both could take him in a fight, you still had to consider the alternative. 
Umbrella wasn't at all as powerful or influential as it was six years ago. Both you and Ada had a part in that downfall. You had a feeling Wesker knew this. Was he even a part of Umbrella still? Neither of you knew for sure.
But you had to assume that he still has some influence in whatever he was a part of. Meaning he had numbers. Meaning he had back up. Of course he has back up, he's not an idiot. You likely wouldn't make it out alive if Ada refused and tried to fight him off. 
All the more reason to accept his threat/offer.
You gave her a single nod, knowing she had a similar thought process as you. She knew the best way out of this situation. She knew him better. Yet she still paused for your input, making a warm feeling pool in your chest at the fact she cared about how you felt in the situation. You forced yourself to brush it off.
Now is not the time to get distracted by the love of your girlfriend.
Ada turned to face Wesker. “We're a package deal. I won't go anywhere without her.” She said, referring to you.
Wesker looked unimpressed, but accepted nonetheless. “Very well. The payment I have in mind is more than enough for two. But if she interferes with the missions in any way, you both will regret it.”
You didn't appreciate being bad-mouthed like you weren't even there in the room to listen. You spoke up for the first time since Wesker had made his presence known.
“Don't worry, I won't sabotage the mission.” You affirmed. You had a lot more unpleasant words you wanted to say in mind, but chose to not risk the situation turning into more of a problem.
Ada nodded in agreement. “I trust her more than anyone to help me get things done.” Her sincerity shone brightly through the mask she donned for Wesker. You weren't sure he even noticed, or cared to.
“Wonderful.” Wesker deadpanned. “Shall we discuss the details.”
You and Ada had to endure hours of debrief from Wesker. To sum it up, the mission was to take place in a village in Spain called Los Iluminados, where you were both to obtain an object called the Amber by someone named Luis. 
You've also both figured out that Wesker is part of the Organization Ada works for. And, by extension, you. The fact that for the last six years, Wesker knowingly and purposely spent the entire time staying out of your radar left you uneasy. If he wanted you dead before, why didn't he just kill you himself? He had the power.
Not knowing exactly what he was planning left you both feeling extremely uneasy. You only had educated guesses based on his past actions to go off of.
“Hey, you know everything is going to be fine, my love.” Ada voiced after you both searched the hotel room for hidden wire taps or anything that Wesker could use to spy on you with. It was clear. You could speak freely.
Her mask was off. The true Ada you know and love returned. Sincere and loving as always, worried about you and how you felt. She could sense your unease from a mile away and wanted nothing more than to comfort you.
You took off your jacket and tossed it on a lounge chair, before facing her fully. “I don't like it, Ada. I really don't.”
She nodded in agreement. “Believe me, I'm not a fan either.” 
“The fact that this entire time we have been together, Wesker knew and did nothing? It worries me.” You said.
“Well, we both suspected he was fully aware of everything. Why is it so surprising?”
“Suspecting and knowing for sure are two, very different, things. I had a small peace of mind when I was oblivious. Now I want to know what the hell he is planning.”
“The only person who knows Wesker is Wesker. Not even his closest 'friends’ know him well.” Ada said. She walked over to the loveseat placed in the very large hotel space. She sat down and encouraged you to sit right next to her.
“Still, six years and not a peep. No threats. Then suddenly he needs you.” You ranted as you sat beside her, on her right side.
“It could be a test. To see if I can be trustworthy.” Ada stated a possibility.
You paused, thinking for a moment. “He sees you as a means to an end. This mission is dangerous. It's very similar to Raccoon City. If you fail, if you die, he'll just send another.” 
Ada smirked, knowing you were right. It does seem like Wesker. “Sounds spot on, my love. He was saving all of his threats until we were needed for a suicide mission. He is sending all of his untrustworthy people first. If we die, which he could think is likely, then his problem will be solved.” She said to you as she placed an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer to her.
You lay your head upon her shoulder with a sigh. “What if we don't die and we succeed in getting the Amber? Will he actually pay us or will he kill us?”
Ada paused. “I'm not entirely sure. Though, I am willing to bet that he won't just let us go without issue.”
“So, we won't hand it over?”
“We'll decide that when the time is right.” She shrugged.
“I don't know how I feel about going to this village. From what Wesker said, it's a little too similar to Raccoon City for my tastes.”
“I agree. But we won't be there for very long. Plus, we'll be right by each other's side throughout the whole thing. You have my back, I got yours, right?”
You nodded sincerely. “Of course. I've got you.”
Ada smiled, “And I've got you.” She pulled you even closer to her, if that was even possible. While you always felt safe in Ada's arms, she always felt the same way in your own. It was a mutual comfort.
You turned into a more comfortable position to return the hug properly as you both sat there in a comfortable silence.
“Guess that vacation will have to wait, huh?” You muttered quietly into her shoulder. She hummed with laughter as she held you tightly.
“Seems like it. Don't worry, I'll make it to you eventually.”
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good-beanswrites · 7 months ago
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WAH HEY BEANS!! okay so i was looking at the plushies and merch again and i suddenly had a thought in LCSyS, what are their thoughts on like merch?? i have no idea if you've mentioned this before and if so i am silly. i can totally see fuuta go OH NO IVE BEEN TURNED A MARKETABLE PLUSHIE
YES AHAHAHA I love that!! This is for the gone-public variation of the au
This made me realize the wide range of official merch, plus I think a lot of them would love supporting artists once they're out and have access to the internet again lol. Overall I think the plushies would cause the biggest stir around the facility 😂 I mention bootleg merch, like when you have random companies making weird/ugly knockoffs -- I don't think real Milgram has that but it was a fun idea for the story lmao
Haruka isn’t used to having his own image on so many things. The others are really sweet about taking care of his plushie and doing kind things for it to boost his own confidence (although there was One Singular Moment of jealousy where his tiny counterpart was getting more attention than himself and needed to be talked down lol) He and Muu have plushies of each other that they’ll plan cute matching outfits/accessories with.
Yuno loves her own plushie, and is excited to share it with Yura. She takes really good care of all the plushies she has, and they genuinely bring her warmth, especially post-milgram when they all separate <3 She (or maybe Mikoto, I haven’t decided) gets only the weirdest/most concerning buttons on her personal bag. She loves her Borderline Suicidal Fuuta, Crazed Bug Muu, Grieving In A Hospital Shidou, Rats Mahiru, and so on. She asks Amane for permission to add Waterboarding Button to her collection. For her more public displays, she likes the aesthetic things from the anniversaries and birthday art. She loved those days of dressing up for the photoshoots, so they carry nice memories as well as being super cute. 
(I tagged you in the art I thought of, but yeah,) Fuuta puts up a big act about how weird and capitalistic it is to have merch of oneself, how plushies are “for kids,” and also how ugly/skrunkly his t2 one looks... His refusal to interact with it only makes the others interact with his more. I can see some of the prisoners (*cough* yuno *cough*) carrying around their Little Fuuta and sharing full conversations and activities while he looks on in horror. In the end, he caves in order to set a good example for Amane, and keeps a few in his room. He never admits that he also gets really attached >:3 Another secret -- he likes using the special bluetooth headphones. He thinks they look cool and the voices are a fun touch, but he’d never dare tell the others. 
Muu has one of those really aesthetic merch bags where she keeps buttons, plushies, stickers, keychains etc. She has a little something for every prisoner, but there are definitely a few who have some shameless favoritism… Once out of Milgram, she makes a lot of social media posts focused just on the plushies in different locations and outfits. She keeps them in pristine condition, caring a lot for them.
Shidou gives the plushies to his kids, and the prisoners laugh/brag about which one each child chose as their favorite. (I also like to imagine the conversations Shidou must have with strangers: “aww your daughter is so sweet! Who do you got there, honey? Aw, you’re squeezing ‘em real tight! Is that your favorite disney princess or something?” “Ah, that’s a little doll version of the divorced cop who lives a few streets over. In a prison uniform.” “O.oh…?”) He likes adding stickers to his tech, using some of the cases, and thinks the album covers look nice to display.
Mahiru goes crazy over the plushies. She sews little mv outfits for all of them, alternate outfits, and other accessories to hand out. She starts planning on making custom plushies for other people – her bf, Hinako, Shidou’s family, Lucky, etc. She was genuinely upset by how sad her T2 plush looks, thinking no one will love it – Jackalope breaks his experiment-long internet ban only once to sit with her and scroll through pictures that people had posted of them treating the plush kindly because of her looks. Also, even though they broke up, she excitedly shows her bf the buttons that feature the two of them 😅
Kazui already has a lot of records/CDs collected, and he makes a really nice display of all the albums for his wall. The other prisoners love gifting him bootleg merch of his own videos – tshirts and things from random companies that are juuust off somehow. (I have no clue about her sense of humor, but maybe one day Hinako wears one of the Cat marriage buttons like “I got married and traumatically divorced and all I got was this this stupid button)
Amane would have tried to match Fuuta acting too cool for the plushies… if it weren’t for every single other person absolutely fawning over them. She can admit to loving them and carries a different one to set with her each day, treating them kindly and dressing them up with Mahiru. She also enjoys adding stickers to her notebooks and things, they end up completely covered by the time the later mvs come out. At the very end of the experiment, she ends up using merch to cover up the old cult stickers on her backpack.
Mikoto owns the most of his own merch, claiming “it’s John :)” (and then John points to the same things claiming “it’s Mikoto :)”). They each have a T1/T2 plushie to carry around, though they end up like that Garfield "to be loved is to be changed" plush -- they really go everywhere. Mikoto gets those anniversary art shirts with the prisoner’s face taking up the whole center, and wears it to each of their mv shooting sessions, much to their embarrassment. He owns a lot of the stands to keep on his desk while he works, using them for rubber-ducking when needed. He posts I feed him rocks.
Kotoko prefers the more general things when she goes out, feeling like it’s odd to show off the other’s faces out in public. (They claim they’re famous anyway, but she insists you can never be too careful.) So she wears a lot with the main milgram logo/inno and guilty symbol/Jackalope/etc. In her personal space, though, she has a ton of the others’ things, and tries to play down how much she really likes the plushies :3 When Mahiru’s finished with it, she’s excited to show Lucky both of theirs.
Everyone owns a lot of Es merch. They try to be subtle about it post-reveal and not overwhelm their poor guard, but it comes out eventually and does scare them just a bit. 😅 Later, Es really enjoys having something of each of the prisoners close even when everyone goes back to their lives.
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laurark · 1 year ago
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2023 Wrap Up
A strange year that was both long and short. The main lesson to learn from 2023 is the same lesson I have been learning every year since I was 6 years old: Things happen if you try!
 I spent a lot of time this year hitting my head against a wall, or rather healing from an RSI that caused making art to become really fraught. I could bear the wrist pain in order to do my favorite thing (drawing!!!) but then the pain stuck around after I had clocked out for the day and was making dinner. It would go like this: I want to make pasta sauce using canned tomatoes, but using a can opener is so painful now that maybe I should just do something else. The onions and garlic are already cooking in the pan though, what can I pivot that to? I felt like the biggest dunce in the world. I worked my way into being cursed, I deserved it.
I have this craving to just commit to a big art project, like a graphic novel, and keep my head down working on it. Having all my time devoted to work feels a bit like doing penance, like earning my bread. But I look at the world and I know I cannot draw my way out of this. I can’t write my way out of this. I can’t post my way out of this. I am unprepared for what I need to do to earn a better tomorrow. But I am prepared to learn.
I changed up my desk ergonomics and my wrist healed. Thank you to the huge desk easel that I stole from my parents’ house. It’s ugly, heavy, stained, and I keep banging my elbows on its sharp corners. It sucks but it saved my life. Do not resist making your workspace uglier if it might help you! 
Making The Influence and participating in the ShortBox Comics Fair was a huge work highlight this year. I’m so grateful I can make a work with dark themes and have it be understood and appreciated. The encouraging response to The Influence did a lot to kill the bad faith reviewer in my mind. Things are possible if you try!
I started painting again and I really love it. I’m trying to just follow the image-making. Painting is play to me and I want it to remain so. I feel myself itch to turn it into some kind of profitable thing, to make it palatable, but I’m trying to resist so it remains a place of experimentation. 
I also wrote a short novel. It’s awful. I just re-read it and it’s so bad, but reading it makes me happy. It needs serious reworking to be a proper novel, but I did technically cross the finish line and write the whole story. It was very refreshing and informative to branch out like this, even if I don’t think this particular example is fit for human consumption. Earlier in my life I was so stubborn about ONLY working in comics but now I’d like to pursue whatever path I can to have a creative career. If you try!
I had a great time tabling at Short Run this year. Two different people came to my table and told me they came to the show specifically to see my table. One person said Bug Boys was responsible for facilitating “many special moments” with them and their niece. I don’t want to forget about moments like this. It means a lot to me. 
It occurs to me as I type out this year’s accomplishments, they’re mostly things I did at home alone. I haven’t rejoined the world after COVID in a meaningful way, the way I hoped I would during lockdown. It comes naturally to me to make up excuses to stay home, keep my head down, watch how things play out before joining in. That attitude does me a disservice. It isolates me. When other people are only in the screen, they become hypothetical. It’s not right to live this way, but it’s comfortable to me. It feels “safe” after COVID, even though it’s not safe. I know I need to change this. 
It feels sick and strange to be blogging in my safe little apartment during a time of bloodshed. To flip through my planner and think of my future while others starve is obscene. My entire life was obscene in this fashion. It’s my responsibility to sit with this feeling and do something with it.
Here’s to a better 2024. We can do it, we can try. 
In love and solidarity, 
Laura K.
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tgrailwar-zero · 5 months ago
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Hey, Thrud, Adamant and Mr Guiseppe? We called in for backup. The best backup there could possibly be, a real powerhouse of a Servant. The great goddess that saved the Nameless City, let's get some hype going for her! Our most beloved Servant and friend, Invader!! (I forgot who here knows about her True Name, so I'm playing it safe)
After some debate (and the fact that you got the feeling that she was incoming regardless of your choice, though it was nice for her to get an affirmative even if her mind was made up), you heard a familiar sound of something incredibly fast moving towards you.
Like a shooting star, it cut through the sky, starting from the cityscape closing in like a homing missile. It rocketed towards your position, the others quickly trying to step out of the way as it made impact right in front of your group. You watched as KUKULKAN calmly stepped out of the crater, dusting off her jacket with a grin.
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ADAMANT: "A goddess!"
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THRUD: "A sun goddess, yes."
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KUKULKAN: "Oye~ Incluso sin Xochitónal, solo eres una pequeña alborotadora, ¿eh?"
For the first time, you saw the ALTER-EGO look afraid.
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ALTER-EGO: "You… you're that light that killed Draco… you… you, you, you…!"
You watched as, also for the first time, the ALTER-EGO seemed rather tongue-tied, stammering nervously. As far as memories go, the first and last time she met KUKULKAN, she had turned into a giant body made of pure energy and obliterated DRACO with a single swing. It was a rather unforgettable sight for her allies, so for it to be burned so dramatically in the minds of her enemies.
As if remembering something akin to a picnic instead, KUKULKAN giggled.
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KUKULKAN: "Yes, it's me~! You remember! That makes me so happy, and this so much easier! I heard that you were causing problems. Does big sis need to teach you a lesson? It's not nice to threaten people, you know?"
KUKULKAN cracked her knuckles, taking a step forward, her smile never faltering for a second. You watched as the Alter-Ego took a halting step back, as if the jade-haired goddess wasn't a mere fraction of the titan's size.
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ALTER-EGO: "A-As if you're one to talk! Stay back! I-I'll crush you! I'm not scared of you!"
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KUKULKAN: "Aw… you're not? Do I need to give you a reminder, then? I don't totally know how Servants work, so you might have forgotten, but since we met when I was alive, I remember 'you' pretty well."
The goddess took another step forward. The giantess continued to back away, her footsteps heavy.
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KUKULKAN: "…Still, considering how you're backing up, maybe your body remembers that it's a bad idea to cross me, yes? That, and you saw what I did to Draco, ¿verdad?"
One final step, and the giantess crashed down on her butt, the ground shuddering from the impact and dust kicking up underneath her.
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ALTER-EGO: "No way… no way, no way, no waaaay…!"
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THRUD: "…Seeing her like this… Lord Sigurd was right, she really is the spitting image of Lady Quetzalcoatl..."
You watched as KUKULKAN skipped back over to you, still smiling.
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KUKULKAN: "I think our friend is ready to use her words, Masters."
With a solid opening, you went for the aulos, not entirely sure how to play it. It looked like a pair of twin pipes… so 'blow into it' was probably a fair start. Starting with one for simplicity's sake, it sort of… melded with your shadowed face, before you managed something approximating lips, and exhaled- or at least started pushing air into it somehow. It took some time, but then you were making noise, and after that you saw a few sparkles of light appear over some of the holes as you blew into it- magical finger guides.
A light drifted from the autos, magical energy forming and melding with the ALTER-EGO's body.
You saw the ALTER-EGO put a hand on her chest, sitting in a more managable position as she glanced away.
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ALTER-EGO: "It doesn't hurt as much…"
She cleared her throat, before scowling.
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ALTER-EGO: "Wh..what'd you do that for, you gnats? A pitiful attempt to get me to spare you? Not a chance! It's not like I'm grateful or anything!"
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ALTER-EGO: "Don't you idiots know what you did? You powered me up! Hah, you dummies! Now I have more than enough strength to squish you!"
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KUKULKAN: "…"
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ALTER-EGO: "I-I'll do it later, though! Later!"
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GIUSEPPE: "…What a terrifying woman Invader is..."
ADAMANT: "I know, she's lovely isn't she? I think I'm falling in love…"
GIUSEPPE: "That's… not what I said."
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fizzytaste · 10 months ago
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You think you know someone - KINK CONTENT
An idea that I've had for a while. The other skaters finding out how good Cherry is at burping.
The restaurant was empty except for Cherry and the other skaters, but Joe would hardly call them clients. The teenagers and Shadow had been engaged in light conversation for some time now and both Cherry and Joe were barely listening, Cherry because he found it uninteresting and Joe because he was too busy closing the restaurant, but he came to them when he was done, to kick them out and also see what they were talking about that was keeping them so entertained.
“That's gross, Slime” Miya wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“But It's cool, isn't it?”
“Maybe, if you knew how to do it” Shadow said.
“Do you, old man?” Reki challenged.
“Don't call me that! And knowing how to burp the alphabet isn't exactly a top priority at my age”
“He says, like an old man”
“I know how to burp the alphabet” Joe said suddenly, surprising everyone, they haven't even notice him. “It's not so hard. I'm done closing the store, so” he made a gestured like he was shooing a dog.
“Wait, you do? Can you teach me?” Reki looked at him full of expectation.
“Only if you guys leave after that”
“That's fine by me!”
“Ok then.” Joe sat down. He saw from the corner of his vision Cherry rolling his eyes. “It really helps if you know how to do it on command. Do you?”
“I'm working on that”
“That's fine, I can show you, it's simple, you just have to swallow some air until you feel an air bubble form in yout throat…” Joe did as described and Reki followed. After some effort, Joe let out a pretty average burp, not bad, but not too long or deep. “And then you just let it out.”
Reki tried to copy, releasing a burp so small it wasn't much better than a hiccup, but that enough for him, at least for his first time.
“Cool!”
“You’ll get better at it with some practice”
“You're as disgusting as you're pathetic. Don't go around teaching others when you don't even know what you're doing” Cherry snickered from where he was drinking his tea.
Everyone turned to Cherry, they also forgot that he was there. Joe raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.
“Feel free to show how it's done if it bothers you so much”
Cherry scoffed.
“No, thank you, unlike you I'm not a savage.” If they were alone he would not hesitate to put that man in his place, but here, in front of everyone, he had an image to uphold. Joe would need much more than some childish provocation to get to him.
“Then don't go around complaining when you can't do better.”
“I don't have to know how to do it to criticize you, just like I don't have to know how to cook to say that your cooking sucks.”
“You can criticize, yeah, but you can't win the argument.”
“Sure I can”
“I think you’re just making excuses cause you'll never be better at burping than me. And a bunch of other things.”
Fuck the image he had to uphold.
Cherry turned silent and it took Joe a little too long to realize he was swallowing air. Then, Cherry opened his mouth and released a deep belch that did not look like it came from someone as delicate and dignified as him.
“That's how you do it” he said at the end of it, keeping direct eye contact with Joe “So I guess I win the argument”
“Yeah, but I win the war” Joe said with a satisfied smirk and that's when Cherry understood that he fell for his trap.
“Good one, Cherry!” Reki complimented, very impressed.
“I didn't expect that from you” Miya, on the other hand, was utterly shocked.
“That was loud.” Langa stated and it was hard to tell how he felt about it from his neutral tone and expression.
“You think you know people…” Shadow said more to himself in a mix of awe and shock.
“You wanted that, didn't you? Satisfied?” Cherry turned to Joe, trying to keep his composture after being defeated.
“What's wrong, don't you wanna show off your talents? Lemme tell you guys, our delicate flower here never lost a single burping contest he was on.” Joe turned to the others and pointed to Cherry, covering his mouth with his hand like he was telling a secret.
“That's so freaking awesome!” Cherry liked Reki, he did, he was a good kid, but he didn't want his approval with something like this.
“How did you learn it?” Langa asked the question his boyfriend was too excited to ask.
“I didn't really learn it, I just always knew how to do it.”
“He's a natural!” Joe raised his arms in celebration
“Shut up, you idiot. This is all your fault.”
“Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to cover for the guy whose idea of fun is burping in my ear?”
“I don't do that anymore!” at least not very often.
“Cherry, teach me, please, please!” Reki begged, giving the older skater one of those abandoned puppy eyes.
“No, that's beneath me. Why don't you ask Joe? I'm sure a savage like him would be glad to help you with that.”
“But you're so good, I don't think I've seen anyone as good as you! Please” Cherry wasn't sure if the boy's flattery was on purpose, but it was working.
“I can think about it”
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rinfarts · 1 year ago
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As you know, 2024 will be the Year of the Dragon according to the eastern horoscope. This beast is noble and powerful, inspiring awe. Blank doesn’t particularly inspire anything other than a good mood, but, as Taranee would say: “there are also small dragons.”
(English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes. Please be understanding)
This costume and the image itself are taken from a series with the play (“Ambush at Torus Filne”). In it we learn about how the crystal appeared, giving the guards strength. The legend of compassionate dragons who relieved people from drought overlaps markedly with another legend. From Earth.
"The Jade Emperor Yu-di organized a race among the animals to determine the order of the zodiac signs. Such a powerful and energetic beast as the Dragon had every chance of becoming the first. But when he was close to the finish line, he saw a village that was suffering from drought. He flew over clouds and caused rain to help starving people.
The dragon continued on his way, but saw another village - it was threatened by flooding. He took pity on the residents, swallowed the water and only then continued on his way.
Just before the finish line, the Dragon saw that the Rabbit was being chased by the Wolf. To save the Rabbit, the Dragon let him go ahead. And so it happened that the strong and powerful creature finished fifth in the race, after the Rat, Ox, Tiger and Rabbit."
In the "W.I.T.C.H" version, four dragons representing the elements were imprisoned in the mountains because they dared to help people without asking permission from their Emperor. It turns out that in both legends the Dragon suffered from his own kindness?
This is partly true. And in fact, this is not the worst moral, although at first glance it does not seem so. By helping someone, you may actually miss an opportunity or get into trouble. No matter how much we wish that life would encourage noble deeds more.
But altruism should not be idealized. There's nothing wrong with being aware of the risks. Belief in a “just world”, where everyone is rewarded according to their actions, very often leads to disappointment and the thought “if something bad happened to me, I probably wasn’t good enough.” And to devaluing other people's troubles.
There is no kind of universal justice in the world and no clearly working karmic slaps on the head. However, there are other people, good and not so good. What you do may resonate with them. For example, a good deed performed in spite of any difficulties. And then real magic can happen, accessible even beyond the boundaries of legends.
I sincerely wish you to find a common language with yourself, to love yourself (within adequate limits). Find a solid foundation of confidence under your feet. And then no difficulties in life will become insurmountable for you.
If after this you find the strength and time to support other people, to inspire them with your example is wonderful. If not, this will not make you a bad person. Healthy selfishness is a wonderful thing. And good deeds should not be forced. __________________________
In addition to references to the symbol of the year, the art contains intersections with a recent answer in the ask. Anyone who read the accompanying post knows.
Caleb, one might say, is preparing a festive buffet. But the bull doesn't really want to be the main dish :D
I have long been attracted to garlands with dried orange slices. They are so warm and cozy. I wanted to add them to at least one of the New Year's arts :3
This idea later developed into the concept of natural Christmas tree decorations. Still, the Middle Ages reign on Meridian. It is unlikely that there is such an abundance of plastic toys there as we have now (the main thing is not to wonder whether there are citrus fruits in this fictional world).
But I still added a garland and balloons, I couldn’t resist. Maybe the girls brought it from Earth (making sure that everything would run on batteries) :D
HAPPY NEW YEAR! 
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the80srewinders · 9 months ago
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Syscourse has affected us a lot, and after a break from Tumblr to do our own research and let us work out our feelings, we decided we are endo neutral.
We don't want to deny someone's experiences, but what we've seen from endogenic systems is... confusing. There's so many people who thought they were endogenic and turned out to actually have DID or OSDD instead, or singlets who had psychotic disorders, personality disorders, or medicalized normal aspects of the personality, usually because the endo/pro endo community convinced these people what they experienced was endogenic plurality. Some endos say DID is possible without trauma, it isn't. Trauma is a requirement for all dissociative disorders. I (host) was downvoted for calling out that misinformation. There's been a small amount of misinformation on DID/OSDD in the pro endo community. There's been some cultural appropriation as well- calling God a system, "Jesus Christ's three day dormancy" and using the term "tulpamancy" which is a closed practice and has nothing to do with creating your own headmates. In our personal interactions with endos, we met a few who glorified having two or more headmates of the same fictional character (something real DID/OSDD systems struggle with) and glorified in system pregnancy in headmates under 18 (this happens in DID/OSDD systems as an expression of trauma.) We also saw endos with headmates whos pronouns were offensive (aw/tism) and had inappropriate topics as their pronouns.
The whole reason we were pro endo is because the anti endo community has a lot of toxicity- hate, bullying, baiting endos who truly didnt do anything, fakeclaiming real DID/OSDD systems, making standards for them that aren't based in reality, and whining about having DID all the time, no positivity, no hope. It was toxic for us. But we never really saw how endogenic plurality was possible, we just went along with the whole thing because endos seemed nice enough on the surface...
We learned in this past week that you have good people on both sides of syscourse. There's good anti endos, and there's bad ones. There's good pro endos, and theres bad ones. There's good endos and there's bad ones. It isn't who's side your on that makes you bad; its what you do, how you treat others. Syscourse is ruled by black and white thinking on both sides, and black and white thinking never got anything accomplished- it just causes more confusion and mental pain. There isn't enough brain imaging to prove endogenic plurality is real, but there's also never been any brain imaging to prove such. Compared to DID, there's been enough brain imaging to prove its real. We don't want to doubt anyone's experiences especially ones without studies to prove them. But so many "endos" find out they had DID/OSDD all along or that they were singlets with other disorders at such a high rate that we find it nearly impossible for endogenics to be real. Again, we don't 100% think its impossible. We just aren't sure. But we have left the pro endo community because when we interacted one-on-one with them, they appropriated DID/OSDD terms, a cultural term, glorified aspects of systemhood people with DID/OSDD struggle with, and we unfortunately ran across the "cutesy quirky" endos. We basically ran into a lot of toxicity in the pro endo community too, appropriation and mocking mostly.
We're happier now. We're doing better now that we don't have a side in syscourse. Please don't send hate our way.
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606nox · 2 years ago
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Heartslabyul x subnatica reader
Riddle x subnatica reader
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Btw x means romantic and + means platonic also the reader is the same age as riddle
This part as pre overblot
When riddle met you he didn't think to much of you. Other than you didn't have magic but even so that wouldn't stop him from collaring you for anything you did wrong and although you didn't cause trouble when he did collar you it didn't affect you ever which made him even more mad. But even so he couldn't help but admire you adventurous nature. Something that he never had the chance to have which made him envious of you but a part of him knew that it wasn't your fault. He would often find you helping Adeuce or cater and trey. One thing he did find interesting and aggravating about you was that you never ever flattered when he yelled at you when he got mad but the moment he really got interested in you is when riddle got mad at you for doing something wrong and in the middle of him yelling at you. You looked him dead in the eyes fully silent and just walked out and he went after you. Enraged by you being so disrespectful when he caught up with you he said. "HOW DARE YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU". To which you looked him in the eyes and said "what you gonna do kill me I've killed things waaaay bigger then you". And walked away and he was in awe he didn't have words in fact he was so shocked that his anger just left him. Later that night he couldn't stop thinking about what your said. "What you gonna do kill me I've killed things waaaay bigger then you". You've killed things. Apart of him wants to believe that your just trying to intimate him but he didn't know if it was or wasn't true either way he wouldn't let you get away with things just because of that. When he overbloted the few things he could remember was you shoot at him with a gun looking thing and he couldn't move. And Adeuce ,cater and trey firing their magic at him and the last thing his brain could conjor up was you with a heated knife stabbing through his blot monster and the rest he can't remember at all.
After overblot
After he got healed he was honestly kinda freaked out by you the image of you stabbing his blot monster was honestly kinda scary with what you had said. But after he loosened his rules you proved to be no real threat in fact sometimes helping enforcing them also. Riddle was surprised to see this new you and honestly really liked it he enjoyed you just being around even if you did sometimes push him out of his comfort zone but that was a good thing. He also began to talk to new people and be more adventurous like he wanted even if it was baby steps like staying up late or eating junk food. He was very thankful after all you really did help. Soon riddle began to take notice of a feeling whenever he was around you he was happier then he has ever been and he feels like this hearts gonna explode but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't put his finger on this feeling until he looked it up and he realized he was in love at first he denied it but after a while he had to accept it so once he did he began to invite you to small tea parties just the two of you and in turn you showed him how to be more chill and he loves every second but whenever you got close to him or accidentally brushed hands he felt like has gonna implode
When you two were finally together he couldn't help but wonder what that statement was about I mean it was long behind you two but still he had to wonder what did that mean so one day decides to ask you
If I may ask y/n what was that statement about when you first walked out on me yelling at you
Oh? That one I forget that I don't tell a lot of people
I see well if you'd rather not talk-
No no it's ok just forgot to tell you. Well you know how I came from another world
Yes I remember
Well for about a year of my life I was on a different planet I was trapped there with dangerous animals like none I had ever seen and lets just say not all of them where friendly I had to fight off leviathans and other monsters to survive all while in the water and somehow I also ended up saving the planet from a deadly disease.
........
Are you ok it's ok if you don't believe me I wouldn't either.
No no I believe you I just can't fathom going through something like that I'm sorry that must have been terrifying but your safe now y/n.
Thank you riddle.
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mihohonemarurp · 4 months ago
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Miho's backstory and character information/intro
This post is entirely OOC and there are trigger warnings for it and the rest of the blog in general, those being of bullying, abuse, child neglect, attempted murder of a child and a lot of talks of medical stuff. of course all these issues will be treated seriously and respectfully by me, while unlikely if any jokes are made about this in character please know that it is not me treating the topics like jokes. If any of this is triggering you don't have to read, it will all be under a read more section.
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Character ref images:
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sorry for not having a real full drawn ref! i havent made one yet :c
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Ever since she was a young child Miho was very weak, being in and out of hospitals since she was a toddler which caused her parents to slowly resent her as she cost them so much money. this got worse until, one night her parents tried to suffocate her because she had become too much effort and money for them.. of course this lead to her being put in a child care program and while there her life was hell, as a lot of the other children there used her as a punching bag, especially the older boys who would hurt her the most, finding it funny as she got hurt far easier than anyone else and couldn't fight back even if she tried.. some people did care about her, but most didn't as she was unable to do most things without getting tired or sick..
While she was kept alive and technically taken care of, the staff at the place she stayed were awful, with them not having the proper money or care to actually be able to help her, and several simply didn't bother with Miho in the first place, figuring that she was going to die anyways and it wasn't there problem to help her.. others did take care of her, but her complaints about being hurt, were left alone, "she was just being sensitive" they said.. and she didn't have the heart to fight back, she didn't want to cause problems.. after all her parents had already grown to hate her.. and she didn't want it to happen again.. she'd rather just disappear than that..
There was one time where the abuse went too far, with one of the boys hurting her so badly that one of her ribs broke and pierced her lung.. after that she was rushed to the hospital, where as they were treating her they found far more things wrong with her body, with one of the nurses wondering how she'd even survived this long.
Since then she's been stuck in a hospital, never being able to leave or make friends that stayed around, with the few she did make always leaving the hospital after a while.. her treatment is expensive, so she's had to pick up something to do to make money, so she's picked up poetry, which people pay her enough money for either because they like it, they want her to write something for them, or sometimes they want to actually see her read it live, which the hospital rarely allows much to her disappointment.
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Alright other details time! First her quirk!
Dove: Fairly self explanatory, she's able to do most things a dove could, with the exception of flying, as her body isn't strong enough to have her grow proper wings. her quirk is also the cause of the bird wings she has in place of her ears, she can still hear out of them about as good as normal ears tho.
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General Info about her and what to expect when interacting
Miho's info: She's 22/23 (22 at the start of the series, and around the middle of the series she turns 23), she's a demigirl and uses she/they, she's biromantic and demisexual, and her favorite hero is Hawks.
When interacting
Miho isn't great at talking with people, she's generally a bit odd and nervous as she doesn't really talk with people outside of the hospital staff, however she will try to talk with anyone, even villains as she's not super aware of a lot of stuff that's happened with them
she gets attached to people very quickly if they're nice to her, and doesn't fully understand a lot of how she's supposed to feel about things
they don't like speaking about their past unless they're close to someone, and speaking about what she's been through is generally very triggering for her
she admires heroes more than anything and wishes she could be one too as they think it's the most wonderful thing someone could do, but of course she's not able to due to their illness
most of her knowledge on how the world works is from movies or the bits of the news she's seen, meaning sometimes she'll say stuff that comes off as super odd or just slightly concerning, especially since she's seen a lot of horror movies
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anyways!! have fun with this blog! and if you like it i have others (feel free to ask what they are!!)
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abyssembraced · 5 months ago
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Headcanon Generator Meme
((Except that some are reacted to ooc and others are in character))
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Ghost:
"If Ghost likes someone, they will give them a pretty rock."
((Yeah, I could see that! Headcanon accepted. Their mindset is along the lines of: they know that Giving Gifts is a Good Thing that People Like. But they don't know what actually constitutes a good gift. They know that many people like receiving flowers and that Ze'mer's flowers are especially precious, but they don't know why that is. They also know that most bugs like Geo, which are basically shiny fossils and rocks. So maybe this other rock is also a Good Gift? Here you go, Friend!))
"If the source media was a musical, Ghost would be the one character that asks why everyone is singing."
((I think that'd fit them really well actually, yeah! Not a verbal question, of course, but just a silent wondering! It fits in with them slowly becoming more conscious and 'alive' throughout their journey in Hallownest. They're not familiar with their own genre, so they wonder why everyone's singing! But over time they eventually come to understand or at least accept that That's How Things Work.))
"Ghost does not know what sleep is."
((Mmm. While it's true that they wouldn't really Need sleep after obtaining Void Heart, on account of becoming fully Void, they are familiar with what sleep is! And they're also sort of capable of it in at least some capacity.))
"Ghost will go feral. Watch out."
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Meta Knight:
"Meta Knight speaks only in meme references."
((I mean Honestly if we're talking about Kirby Right Back At Ya's Meta Knight, I could absolutely see a YTP featuring that. But! My Meta Knight is Not That, save for a couple details I took from it, so Nope asgshfhf. I could see Magolor doing that for like a day or something though just to annoy the others.))
"Meta Knight can hug you, but won't."
"Correct." Save for a select few people who might be able to force one out of him, anyway.
"Meta Knight is awful with kids."
"I am inclined to say so, yes, but... Kirby seems to insist otherwise." Surely he was just an outlier, however. A unique exception, solely due to the fact that they were each the only other member of their species that either of them had ever met. ...Why are you pointing at Sailor Waddle Dee. Stop That.
"It would not take much for Meta Knight to turn evil."
"I believe the strength of my will is powerful enough to resist such corruptive forces." Though as much as he might like to, he couldn't deny that the stray Dark Heart had gotten the better of him some time ago. Not to mention whatever it was that had happened to his mirror counterpart...
"Meta Knight likes to eat straight coffee beans."
"Though I do prefer my coffee black, I... Fear the raw beans may be too bitter, even for me."
...He was lying about even drinking his coffee black. He would always dump tons of sugar into his drinks. Straight coffee beans would be a definite 'no' for him.
"Meta Knight had an emo phase."
((Absolutely hilarious mental image that I will neither confirm nor deny, lmao))
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GLaDOS:
"GLaDOS knows the lyrics to every Hatsune Miku song by heart."
((Technically correct, but only because she's a robot and can just search for all the lyrics and download them if she desired. But I don't think she'd even know who Miku is unless she was prompted to research her.))
"GLaDOS will remind others in the midst of chaos how good *she's* being."
((. Yeah I could totally see this ashsdgwgdvf. But it'd have to be something specifically said to Chell while other people are Causing Problems and not her ((for once)). I don't think I could see her saying it to anyone else.))
"GLaDOS is in your house."
((If you live in the Aperture building then she is your house lmao))
"GLaDOS is a very good singer."
((So Very True <3))
"GLaDOS is going to hell."
"We would once again like to remind you that here at the Aperture Enrichment Center, Android Hell is a real place where rogue androids will be sent at the slightest hint of dissent."
"Unless you can turn on the neurotoxin emitters quickly enough. Which you don't have."
"GLaDOS is awful with kids."
"I don't know, I would consider my performance at the Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day to be a great success. Though I do work better with cats."
"GLaDOS is constantly singing for no reason."
"And you are constantly bumbling around like a useless idiot for no reason. What do you think of that?"
"GLaDOS can't make the voices go away."
"I did, actually. But it involved me being betrayed and murdered by a friend that I trusted, so I can't say I recommend my method."
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Tagged by: @bladesfromthedark (thank you!)
Tagging: @distrxst , @tazmilyxfamily , @musescfmusic , @quillheel , @hopeful-hugz , @pri-rp , @legalbrats , @galacticnova3 (I know you've already done it for your Lor blog, so. Maybe one of your other ones if you feel like it?). Just. Tags Everyone again so no one can feel left out dgsgsgf. And once again, feel free to do it for any blog(s) and muse(s), not necessarily the specific one I tagged!
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burnwater13 · 8 months ago
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The Armorer speaking with Din Djarin and Paz Vizsla (out of frame) in the forge room of the Mandalorian covert on Nevarro. Image from The Mandalorian, Episode 3, The Sin. Calendar by DataWorks.
Grogu could appreciate the Armorer’s words. Secrecy had helped him over the years. It had been a key to his survival. He had hidden himself away and stayed out of view and endured many hardships in order to evade the Inquisitors and their ilk. But it had also been boring, lonely, and generally awful. Since he’d experienced being found and being lost, he’d take being found any time. 
Yes, Grogu had used his abilities with the Force to save the Mandalorian and Greef Karga and Bo-Katan and a bunch of other folks, since the Mandalorian found him on Arvala-7. That wasn’t what put him back on the radar of the former Imperials. His mere existence had done that. How they knew he was a live and still worth pursuing was a mystery and he hoped to solve that one day, but until then, he was glad to spend the time with Din Djarin and dodge whichever ex-Imps still roamed the galaxy. 
He wondered how Mandalorians even managed to hide. It’s not like their armor or their attitudes helped with that. They stood out wherever they went and even with their flight packs you couldn’t ignore them. If you spent enough time with them you could probably learn to deal with their personalities. 
Some were abrupt, like Paz Vizsla. Some were touchy; Koska Reeves and Boba Fett came to mind. Others pouted. But they did all those things in a manner that only Mandalorians would use. First, it seemed like part of their Creed to never apologize for anything. Then, they didn’t cut each other any slack to recognize their differences. Nope. They just fought with each other, which honestly, everyone around noticed, whether they wanted to or not. 
Then there was the whole un-hideable problem of their history. Grogu had a chance to investigate the Children of the Watch and other Mandalorian groups and given the size of the galaxy, it just didn’t make sense to think that they needed to hide, per se. Din Djarin had been brought to Concordia to live when he was rescued from Aq Vetina. Concordia was Mandalore’s moon. That’s not exactly hiding. Not when there were billions of other star systems in the galaxy, many with habitable planets. 
Sure, the Great Purge was pretty awful, but that’s not why the Children of the Watch were on Concordia. They were there because of the Mandalorian Civil War. One of any number of Mandalorian civil wars as Grogu found studying their history. They had tried to over turn the then government of Mandalore and got banished from their home world. Paz Vizsla knew that. He was related to Pre Vizsla who had caused a lot of the trouble. With help from someone else they all knew. Bo-Katan Kryze. Uff. 
What a mess. No one could trust anyone else and they all turned on each other. Which didn’t really seem to be in keeping with the Creed. Grogu wondered if it was more like a guideline and less like a code. But in any event, Mandalorians were still on Concordia, Kalevala,  Krownest, Ordo, Concord Dawn, and any number of planets that weren’t part of the overarching Mandalorian Protectorate. So pretty much not hidden at all. 
Bo-Katan and her people, like Axe Woves and Koska Reeves, didn’t seem all that concerned about people seeing them walking around in Mandalorian armor. And not just walking around, but fighting people who tried to harm him and Din Djarin. No one Trask seemed to care about them. They were kind of no big deal there.
Eventually, the Mandalorians had come back to Nevarro and settled there and didn’t spend anytime in the covert (sewers under the city, yuck) any more. Then some of them went back to Mandalore and discovered that other Mandalorians had survived the Purge and were still there. Grogu didn’t think that counted as hiding. Even if they were hiding, how effective was that in a langskib? That ship was large enough to be picked up on sensors. They were more like people who were marooned, rather than people in hiding. They just didn’t have a way to get off planet. 
Now that they were found and the Mandalorian diaspora was returning to Mandalore (after kicking Moff Gideon and the other Imp remnants off it permanently), Grogu wondered if they were going to go back to doing things in secret? It was hard to imagine that lots of people weren’t going to be paying even more attention to Mandalore in the future because of what had just happened there. The Imp Remnants were likely to do that. And the New Republic. And the syndicates. And anyone and everyone who ever had a grudge against Mandalorians. That seemed like a pretty big risk, but he didn’t think secrecy was going to help them manage it one way or the other. 
They were just going to have to be like him and his dad. They had a nice place on Nevarro and Grogu enjoyed running around outside, chasing butterflies, and catching frogs and just sitting by the pond hoping that a new episode of Diggle and Daggle the Fish that fish would come out soon. But when it became necessary, he and Din Djarin would jump into the N-1 and go after which ever trouble maker their friends around the galaxy flagged for them. A Mandalorian and a Jedi. No one would expect that and that was a secret that kept itself intact, thank the Force. Peaceful, but prepared. This was the new Way.
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The Armorer speaking with Din Djarin and Paz Vizsla (out of frame) in the forge room of the Mandalorian covert on Nevarro. Image from The Mandalorian, Episode 3, The Sin. Caption reads: Our secrecy is our survival. Our survival is our strength.
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paragonrobits · 8 months ago
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When i think about the discourse that really bothers me, it often leaves me feeling that the sort of people causing this discourse are... not exactly chronically online, because I don't think that's the most useful way to describe. Insular; yes, absolutely. Living in a small selected bubble where only the most inoffensive and affirming thoughts cross your experience until that becomes the whole of your personal universe, and anything outside it is an ideological threat.
It leaves me feeling that these people often haven't suffered that much, or know what genuine struggle and fear are actually like. They've almost certainly had in their lives, sure, but probably on a more minor level, and they're so wrapped up in their own image of heroism that they consider every minor inconvenience to be a horrifying nightmare the likes of which no one can compete with.
I see these people online, turning shipping arguments into a massive flame war and moralizing over ships and I think 'could you please get some ACTUAL problems instead of acting like a victim over something this petty?'
And I see their works; it's similarly vapid. It's always low-stakes, it always resents the idea of fantastical things outside of being an escape fantasy, and the idea comes up over and over that all they want to see is things that affirm what they already know or believe.
Deliberate discomfort in art, of exposing you to tragedy or horror or compelling you to question yourself and your beliefs (even if the answer is 'I believe what I started out believing, I now can give a defense of it'), seems foreign to them. Sometimes they suggest that the CONCEPT of discomfort is inherently evil.
Let it roll around in your mind a bit, the things you dislike about their works; its almost static, and character stasis seems to be a virtue to that mindset. Ignore the implications of the term 'redemption arc' and instead consider that a character arc is about change, whether they DO change or retain their stance; either way the point is that they move and flow with a world, but in these works, a Character is an unchanging stone; any kind of change, or contemplation of it, is an act of violence.
(This may also be why we see discourse positing that a character was Always Good; it supports the idea of built-in character and morals, in the same way that a character who becomes an antagonist is supposed to always be Ultra Turbo Bad. Change is unwanted to this perspective, and instead they have to ALWAYS have been Good or Bad.)
And finally this makes me think about a line from the Exalted tabletop RPG, in a supplement covering the Infernal Exalted; those empowered by the malicious, inhuman and fundamentally broken titans of the setting, chosen to be the rock stars of Hell, given monstrous powers and horrific mutations to empower them.
The Infernals are a far cry from the Solar Exalted, the golden champions of the setting. They don't burn with holy golden light; they radiate the awful, cold flames of the hell realm that empowered them. They don't just punch things, green fire ignites from their fists to blast their foes into a radiation-riddled corpse, blazing in a fungal bloom. Coppery exoskeletons rise through their skin, alit with runes that tell the story of the maddened universal emperor's descent into hell. Their bodies swell with infernal power as they become grotesque and monstrous, their blood turns acidic and blasts into the faces of their enemies.
They are monsters, and they are heroes too. Chosen from the lost and the damned, from those yearning to tear down a system that hurts them, from people who almost had a chance to be a hero but turned from it at the last second and are consumed by the shame.
Like many other Exalted of that edition, they have a unique martial art style derived from their instinctive combat powers. Their's is known as Infernal Monster Style; they turn rage into a tool, overwhelming a foe with nightmarish power and extreme violence, smashing a foe into bloody paste, being both Hulk and Hellboy, an untamed apocalypse of raw power.
Their power comes from rage. It's a deep anger, a real anger.
I honestly doubt that the kind of online moralizers really know what that kind of anger is. They might think they do, but I wonder if they've ever looked up into the sky in a moment of despair, felt the sun beating down on them while their whole families abandoned them and thought: "Today, I'm really going to die."
Lack of hope makes anger swell up. It gives real anger a place to live and lets it sit there for years and years, to simmer and wait.
Now, I think of the Infernal Exalted again, and their Infernal Monster Style. Each such style has a sutra associated with it, and a story underlying its philosophy. And their's tells the story of a maiden, trapped in a stone cell. So, she punched the wall with her bare hand.
(Sometimes you don't need a pretty affirming story.)
She punched it until her blood splattered the wall.
(Sometimes you want something ugly and violent and monstrous, because it speaks to the horror in your life, or a horror you can understand.)
She punched it until her bones broke.
(Sometimes a low-stakes slice of life coffee shop AU is insufficient, or meaningless; violence, sorrow, despair, questions about "do I have to be a monster" and "what is the price of my vengeance" are more important to you.)
Still she punched at the wall.
(Purity means something being entirely a single thing, unalloyed or marked by anything else. Singular; alone. But alloys make something stronger. Something that has never known sickness or violence is easily killed by those things when it inevitably finds them.)
The wall shattered.
(Purity and wholesomeness are not virtues; they are sought after, so much, by people who consider your existence a crime. Purity is weakness.)
Survival is fury, said the maiden.
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Hi all.
Looking for advice and reassurance about my situation. Please do not suggest going to a therapist since that's not possible for me right now.
TW: chronic physical illness, hospital, meds, bullying, alcohol, death, burnout.
I have a chronic physical condition and stressful moments in my life makes me more prone to flare-ups. I've also heard from doctors as well as people with similar conditions that psychological distress can be one of the underlying causes and triggers.
I have at least two other family members diagnosed with the same condition on my mom's side of the family, one older than me (my aunt) and one younger than me (my little cousin).
My little cousin's case was so bad she had to go to the hospital and was prescribed some of the same meds that I take even though she's only 12. I don't know how she's coping with things but I do know she has a lot of stress. I would also not be surprised if she has trauma though we've never talked about it in-depth but I do know she has undergone severe bullying at school (I was bullied at school which left me with trauma too) and she also lost her dad unexpectedly (I recently had a traumatic death of a close family member too, which I'll talk about later).
My aunt (same side of the family, but not my cousin's mom) just kind of learned how to live with the condition and doesn't mention it too often. However, I do know she copes with stress in general by drinking. She has actually advised me to drink in order to help with my stress too (but I was raised in a completely alcohol-free household due to both my parents having a history of alcohol problems and not wanting to go back to it after they quit). I already know that drinking isn't the best solution, but I'm just mentioning that to show you how people in my family cope.
I feel like my condition was manageable for a while, then things started to get bad again and I would say since mid-last year or so it's become one of those things where I wake up with daily pain on a severe level. My pain keeps me from getting out of bed, and the medicine I take for it can sometimes have a drowsiness side effect so it's not uncommon for me to fall back asleep, and then wake up in pain again (my sleep position can be another pain trigger but I don't have any way of controlling that).
First I struggled a lot with school (probably the biggest stressor in my life for a while). I graduated and although it took me a while I finally found a job that I absolutely love. It gives me a sense of purpose and the co-workers I've met through my job are genuinely some of the best people I've ever met. But a lot of times I find it extremely hard to relax when I'm not working, and when I am working I constantly feel like I could be doing more or that my work isn't as good as other people's. I took on more work assignments than usual last month and now I'm feeling burnt out this month.
Lately, I had a death in the family that turned my world upside down. It's been extremely tough to deal with. I saw her die in front of me and saw other extremely unpleasant things like seeing her body carried out of her room, seeing her open casket at the funeral, and just lots of other disturbing mental images I can't get out of my head.
After that, I had a really difficult Christmas which I spent away from home on an emergency trip (another one of my relatives was near death, but went back to stable condition). The trip was an awful experience which took a deep toll on my mental health. Everyone was stressed out because it was a last minute situation and I feel like this made us all act way more argumentative and aggressive towards each other than usual.
During the trip and after coming back, I noticed my schedule got disrupted and my pain was starting to get more frequent. Usually I only need to treat it in the morning but ever since the trip I have started getting pain episodes about 2-3 times a day.
I know it's been months since Christmas but I still feel affected by it (and I know I'm not the only family member who is because my mom is constantly bringing up arguments related to stuff that happened on the trip that got her upset, it comes up again almost every day).
Like I said before, the high stress situation impacted EVERYONE and looking back I did say something that I probably should have kept to myself but my mom says she's never going to forget that I said it and that our relationship can never go back to being the same. And honestly it hasn't been the same, it really feels like she hates me now.
There are many MANY more things I could mention but basically it just feels like one thing after the next and I'm suffering a lot both physically and mentally.
At the moment I'm feeling really guilty about my condition. Like I said before I wake up with pain and I've been experiencing pain later on in the day too so the moment I wake up, I'm already anticipating a day ahead where I have to be treating my symptoms but still force myself to be productive/get work done because I don't know how to give myself breaks. And I feel bad because I feel like if I hadn't let my stress levels get to this point then my pain wouldn't have gotten so bad (meaning my physical health wouldn't have gotten this bad either) and I blame myself for not knowing how to cope better. I don't cope with alcohol but I don't know if treating my pain with meds is really that much better, I'm not misusing them or anything but I do worry about potential long-term effects on my body.
As of last month I don't have a doctor anymore (thanks to insurance issues). And I don't think I'd be able to see a therapist (again, insurance issues… and my experiences with "free therapy" have never actually been free and left me feeling worse rather than better).
Do you have any advice on how I can start dealing with all this on my own? From Chantal
Hi Chantal,
I'm so sorry about not only what your family has been going through but also what you've been going through as well. I'm also so sorry for your loss. I can see that you're hurting on multiple levels.
It sounds like this condition is taking a great toll on you and your family, not only the pain itself but the side effects of the medication, as well as how other family members are coping with it.
I'm so glad to hear that you found a job you love, and that you're getting along well with your coworkers. But I can understand how it can be hard to relax when you're not working, especially with the condition you're dealing with.
I also hear you saying how, when you're working, you feel like you could be doing more. While this is hard to subdue, do know that you're already doing more than enough. You're doing your best given your circumstances and that's okay. You don't have to overexert yourself or come out on top every time. It's important to remind yourself of where your boundaries and limits are and respect them when you reach your capacity (especially with a chronic illness), in order to avoid burnout in the future.
I can understand how your loss has been hard to deal with, especially with everything else you've been dealing with recently. I think watching someone die as well as the other unpleasant things you saw could definitely be traumatic, and it's understandable that these images are hard to shake.
I also see how the emergency that unfolded around Christmas made your family more tense and hostile towards each other. Please know that it's okay if you still feel affected by what happened. You've been going through a very stressful time recently and it's important to acknowledge that.
Your question does not necessarily have a simple answer. There are a lot of parts to your pain that I feel like are all tangled up together, and so it may be a little complicated to try and sort them out and process everything on your own (i.e without the guidance or mediation of a mental health professional, although I know that's not an option for you right now). But I can give you a general framework of how you could process your traumas.
This article talks about emotional and psychological trauma and how to heal from these. It mentions that for those who have lost a loved one, part of healing is of course moving through the grieving process.
As for healing from trauma in general, the article recommends to get moving if possible, or practicing mindfulness. "Notice the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, for example, or the rhythm of your breathing, or the feeling of wind on your skin." The second tip is to avoid isolating yourself, whether that's participating in social activities, talking to friends, joining a support group for trauma survivors, and such. The third tip is to self-regulate your nervous system by practicing grounding and breathing exercises, but also allowing yourself to feel any emotions that may come up. The fourth tip is to just take care of yourself as best as possible, avoid self-medicating, rest well, eat a balanced diet, and practice some stress-relief activities.
Please know that healing isn't linear, and there is no time limit. You heal at your own pace, sometimes you will take backwards steps, but it's all part of the healing journey. Please remember to be gentile and patient with yourself, not only as you deal with your chronic physical illness but also as you process these traumas.
I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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thefirsthogokage · 2 years ago
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[Image ID: Tumblr tags from last reblog that says: will add ID from alt text when not feel faint /END ID]
I should have tried to take care of that when I posted, but it was late and didn't think of it.
Here we go:
[Image ID: contents from tweet thread by Samantha Mash (Twitter handle @samanthamashart) from June 7th, 2023 that read:
As someone who lived through the 2020 Oregon wildfires (and other bad smoke condition years), in which in PDX we had air quality as bad as 516 on the air quality index here are some things I did to help myself when we couldn't get a air conditioner and didn't have central air—>
Keep your doors and windows shut! Soak rags and towels and ring them out to make them damp and stuff them into any door gaps or drafty windows. You need to try to keep any smoke you can out and this will help filter that out as well as keeping ash from getting in
Wear a mask if you go outside! A KN95 or N95 mask is best, but literally a cloth mask will do in this case because the goal is keeping out the ash and other particles. Do not go maskless, it will destroy your throat and harm your lungs
*Poster's note: I do not believe a cloth mask is good enough protection. Be sure to wear KN95s or N95s as those are designed for this kind of thing. Resuming thread:
This may sound weird, but try to cover up from the ash and smoke. Wear long sleeves, wear pants, wear hats, you don't want this on you and I'd advice showering or bathing when you come home. If you have glasses wear them! This stuff does get in your eyes and it hurts
Fill your tub with water! This was key to when I didn't have an air filter, it was advised by some in our city at one point and they said it helps with the air it also can pull some of that bad stuff out of your indoor air. Use cool water. It did make our home feel better
*Poster's note: several people had said to not drink from open containers or water and to clean your pets bowls out regularly. Resuming thread:
Drink a lot of water! It helps process toxins our of your body through your kidneys and keeps you hydrated. You will need all the help you can get to keep from getting a sore throat (which will happen no matter what), and this is very important to do
Do not vacuum! It tosses up more ash and dust you do not want to breath right now. Wait until after the smokes clears to clean. If you must clean something use a damp rag or paper towel to keep the ash from flying around
These seem simple but:
-don't exercise
-try not to smoke
-don't exert yourself
-keep lights off if you're hot and indoors and have no AC like I did
By the time smoke hit here there wasn't even enough supplies to make a makeshift air purifier. This stuff happens fast. Stay safe
We lived with our bad air for around a week in PDX last time and it was awful. These all may be obvious, but I do hope something here helps someone! It is so jarring to have your skies turn orange and for the air to hurt to breath. Lay low, do as little as possible, it will pass
The wildest thing after the smoke cleared here was how much soot was in our apartment, even with every window closed/locked, even with rags in the gaps in doors. Be ready to clean that out after the smoke clears, cause even airtight seeming spaces can let these fine particles in
Again I hope this all helps, and if anyone who is smarter than me wants to add or notices an issue (I'd hate to spread misinformation) with anything I said feel free to post! I am not a particle expert, just a girl who lived through some of the worst air quality possible
END Samantha's Thread.
Tweet comment on her thread from The Mad Dog of Big Wet Smoochies (Twitter ID @ CraneCulture)
I taped a HEPA filter to a box fan and that worked really really well. I just brought it with me to whatever room I was in and on the really rough days in that 2020 smoke out it was so nice
/END Image ID.]
Hope that ID helps!
If you're in an area that is suffering from wildfire polluted air, I just saw this on Twitter:
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Bonus:
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Here's a site I found that can tell you how to make these:
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