#cause my queue has only 20 posts left...)

[the-mortal-incorrects]

sorry for liking every single one of your posts. in my defense this is a good blog

Idk when you sent this, I only just saw this. But dw about liking things. I'm glad people like this :D

[jam-showtoonz]

Revived Solar! (My au)

This post also contains lore.

Revived Solar is having a great time!

He just woke up in some weird plain of existence , he’s missing one of his arms and about 20 minutes after waking up he’s attacked by some demented hell beast. Thankfully he is saved by someone who looks like a Sun and Moon combined that isn’t an Eclipse. They act kinda like Lunar just different.

They give him a quick run down on the creature- Voidger it’s called apparently- basically:

This one can’t see. Voidgers can’t smell in general so they don’t need to worry about that.

This one can only hear. Which means they have to get out of there as quietly as possible. Which they lucky manage.

On their way to the ‘ central tower ’ the animatronic introduces themselves as Solstice and explains a bit more about where they are.

The void- it one of the places you can end up if you go through a dis functional portal or your dimension collapses, guess he knows how he got here, the thing that attacked him was a Voidger, a small amount are native to the void- majority though are people, animatronics and/or animals who got lost and were never found- the one that attacked them was a turn one, the way you can tell is apparently the native ones have eyes… many eyes… he hopes he never meets one.

There are apparently ‘ islands ’ around the void with buildings that have a random assortment of objects, no food though as there is no need to eat. The buildings are the only safe spots within the void- unless you can get out or you come across Galaxy.

Eventually they make it to one of these buildings, a tall skyscraper type building. Upon entering they make their way to the 4th floor where they enter a lab kind of place and are greeted by two beings- one is a robot similar to something the creator had- the other, very tall one, looks to be made of stars.

The smaller one, despite the scare they clearly got from the sudden entry, doesn’t question what’s going on, they don’t even seem surprised by him being here, and simply asks if he’d like repaired. He hesitantly accepts the offer as the tall one- Galaxy going by Solstices greeting to them- observes him with their singular eye.

C- he learns the small one goes by -somehow fixes him completely within 30 minutes. They were awfully considerate about asking him what he wanted, colour, shape, any features- despite the fact that they were clearly limited on what they could do.

Galaxy and Solstice had left at some point or another. C offered to answer any questions he had to the best of his ability.

What he learned?

There is a total of 8 beings that live in the void that aren’t Voidgers, that was counting C, Galaxy and Solstice. Though he wasn’t given names.

You turn into a Voidger when you’re alone and lost, as it gives the void access to your mind and you slowly go insane until all rational thought is gone. Despite this if you look or sound similar to someone they knew they will pause before continuing to attack you. Yes, apparently some turned Voidgers have eyes, only two though.

Portal doors aren’t actually hard to find so long as you don’t let the void get to you, the only risk is what’s on the other side. They are also far apart from each other so they take a while to get to. The closest one to them goes to a human dimension.

They can’t stay in a dimension forever because they could weaken it and cause it to collapse. This is because they are completely connected to the void. He should be fine apparently though, as it takes a year for a person to become fully connected to the void and time is very slow in here.

The Voidgers are terrified of Galaxy, apparently their ora has something to do with it.

They are more than willing to help him get home as the void is not a place for everyone.

C hates to talk about themself and is more focused on making sure the others here don’t get themselves killed.

Queue someone with 2 hoops around their head and waist with stars on them, as well as a skirt coming in and yelling about how someone called Blue and- Lunar?- just blew up a toaster on one of the paths to scare a Voidger. C let out a long annoyed sigh before telling him to stay in the lab and say they need to go deal with their kid and the youngest in this found family.

He couldn’t help but wonder if he’s lucky or not.

[Yes I’m posting Ruin separately as lore- Solar is gonna have a great time.]

[hazelplaysgames]

uuuuh since the SD card port went and just stopped, i really haven't felt like uploading clips. so. bleck. i think i can already chalk it up as a mixed year for me.

that said, i feel like i should make at least something now that the queue is unquestionably emptying, so. how about them phone games? i'll just make it one big one under a Keep Reading because, fair warning, they're all gacha games. on that front alone, i can't advocate for anyone getting in all willy nilly. keep in mind, i haven't spent anything on any of them. i got "luck" in my usual username for a reason.

let me start with the only one i've played since... ah, last august, actually, Blue Archive! it's going well, i just hit level 87, the level cap for the time being, a couple days ago.

i'm still having fun with that one, so. nine months of fun with that one, story that kicked me like a mule, definitely more out of my time with it than i thought i was gonna get. we're in the middle of new stories now, and to fill in the event void, we're getting this mini-event featuring a girl named Aoi, who basically just shows up for that event. been a while. as you might guess by me bringing her up unprompted: a minor character who doesn't show up often? she stole my heart. it's honestly kinda impressive. something about her voice, mainly.

also, good news from the JP servers: they're putting the twin catgirl gamers in maid outfits! well, i mean, that event is a repeat, those two already were, but we'll be able to take them home this time!

additionally, a few months back, they started this system that grants a 10 pull ticket that's good for a month.

it has been working out for me. didn't get any bunny girls for the collab after Cunifest, so i missed out on comedy, but i at least got the two collab girls in a pity pull's worth. the actual bunny event is coming up just after my birthday in June, and. well, i won't argue with bunnies for my birthday. probably post about that tuesday/thursday if it's REALLY good, or split it 100 pulls per those days?

nah, at most it's 20 screenshots, lets not drag that out. it can be done in 1 post.

next, i got into Nikke far more recently- a couple months is accurate- and like. i get a lot of sniper rifle users in that one. Frima was the first, Red Hood(who is widely considered by the userbase as one of if not THE strongest unit. i can believe it), Alice(who is still considered damn good with Red here. the loaned version makes me believe it), Trony, D: Killer Wife(i actually pulled D and her alt costume at the same time), Harran, Maxwell- why am i a sniper rifle magnet? is it 'cause i like to play Heavy? am i just an easy mark?

you know i just realized neither of those pages show the girls names. be amazed i got Kasumi and Hiyori in the BA ones, please please. at the very least, the numbers on the bottom left can tell you those were actually the first pulls of those two banners.

anyways. since it was after i got through the final chapter in BA, i kinda figured it'd have a good story as well, and, yeah, absolutely better than i first thought. but the story is gated behind levelling, and while this was a point against BA too, it's far more prominent here. like, i got through all of BA's plot once i hit the 60s back in like, January or so, the grind to get into the story is practically constant with Nikke. also, the main story is 30 chapters in, and they're now calling it the prologue. i don't really want to witness that unchecked growth.

that all said, the main reason i got into either in the first place was because of the music: lotta good stuff in these two. no one set style, no one set tone, sum of it all is great. it is hard to suggest a place to start.

uh, as for the only gun gacha game i dropped right now, Arknights. just never meshed even after a few months, and if i remember right, the story has a similar issue as Nikke in being levelling locked. that all said, Nikke is probably the one i'll drop once phone space gets scarce. i enjoy it, but for the fact it's still the largest of the lot, eh... sadly, the best choice.

oh, and speaking of bunny girls, looks like that's also gonna be the next event for Nikke. hilarious. Alice is finally gettin' a proper alt!

in any case, i don't wanna go ditchin' the two rhythm games! i'll talk about the two side by side, kinda, if you wanna call it that. the first of which, Bang Dream! Girls Band Party!, commonly just called Bandori, and the second, D4DJ Groovy Mix. they both got a good selection of songs, though i do have to admit that if Bandori didn't have Butterfly, the song from Digimon, i probably would not have got into it these two as much as i did. here's two pages for that one:

they recently made a push for 500 songs in it, so i'm only missing about 80. i feel quite proud for clearing all those Hard songs, i was barely kicking past medium when i first started in December. unfortunately for me, this kinda also stems the flow of free stars, i think i'll get at best, one or two more pity pulls within the year. for birthday banners. those are like, 1/3 of normal banners. it's a harsh star economy here. anyways, D4DJ:

it throws a lot more currency types around, and the story... it might be timing about the whole xross wars arc, but what it is now ain't hitting what i'm looking for. ain't saying bad, just that i was kinda expecting more mundane. the gems in this one are also fairly consistent, so unless i want a lot ASAP, i feel like i can get a good, healthy enough amount within the rest of the year, even if the pulls are pricier than Bandori. might be going a little harder than i need to for some birthday banners.

if i could give shorthand preferences, i'd say: i give D4DJ props for the gameplay and modes that can be played, as well as overall difficulty curve and even accessibility, while Bandori i'll give the characters and story. while i like Rika(the redhead in the bunny suit up there) and Rinku of D4, i can fill out several lines of characters i like from Bandori, so. most of them, actually.

above the rest, easily, Kokoro, the blond one up there, she's just so happy like a ray of sunshine, i adore her. whenever a Hello, Happy World! song demo starts playing, it's usually her on vocals, and like a moth to a flame, i wanna play it.

i feel like both have great song selections, but what they each encompass is a bit different: Bandori only has originals and cover songs, all lyrics, all the way, and i think most of them are good. meanwhile, D4DJ, while obviously having ori's and covers, also has some original songs from other artists, instrumentals, and game music straight from either the source or a remixer like Camellia, who made a few songs in Mad Rat Dead, and i really appreciate having those as well.

ok, i am underplaying Camellia's full efforts there, fella does a lot of good remixes and originals. i mean, a lot a lot. you can't go two rhythm games without seeing his name, and for good reason: he's that good.

also, i know both series have youtube channels with animated seasons to them, but i haven't given either a watch yet. i learned those channels existed like a week ago, never considered the possibility before.

also.

love these birthday banners! D4DJ even gives you a few free pulls once a day while the banner is up to celebrate, which i find nice.

i guess i did also try Love Live 2, but, by download size, that was actually bigger than Nikke, and it relied entirely on its original songs. it felt hard to get into, aaaand... it is shutting down in a couple days now. still, got Snow Halation in, Rin was cute, Nico Nico Ni, Nozomi Tojo, David Schwimmer, guest starring the "SKULLS" parasite unit. to explain the joke, Triple-Q's Friends Halation. i like most Snow Halation mashes.

all right, anything else i want to mention here and now... nah. i think that's good, i feel talked out.

[boopeth]

I was tagged by @sebfreak . Thank youuu.

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's a long story that i've shared before, but basically video games and brainrot.

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. lewdeth, its a nsfw blog so that this one doesn't ever lose the avatar like my old blog did in 2018 purge.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? 2012

4. do you have a queue tag? uhh yeah i think i used to have like a special tag, but right now i just do q

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? i honestly cannot remember at all. i was bored, facebook sucked, myspace was gone, reddit was boring, twitter was annoying, i think it was just the only place left.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? looked cool, planning on changing it again soon

7. why did you choose your header? looks cool, if part of my header is the like title it's an elden ring reference from the best guy in the dlc.

8. what’s your post with the most notes? had to check cause i didn't know but it seems to be an anime cap from tsukimichi that says cats are great.

9. how many mutuals do you have? idk lots im not gonna count . i generally check out all the people who follow me. if i like their blog i follow back,

10. how many followers do you have? 1835

11. how many people do you follow? 1091

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes, frequently.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? really depends on the day. lots of days i don't even get on, and other times im on every few minutes in between doing stuff.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? not really, at least not for the purpose of tumblr. there has been people that i've gotten close to that we argued about random stuff but had nothing to do with tumblr.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? i really don't care for it. im nihilistic as fuck me reblogging that shit isn't gonna fix anything. it's not what im here for, and it's why i don't like twitter. i just wanna see cool pics, anime tiddies, and horror aesthetic stuff.

16. do you like tag games? i like the fact that people tag me in stuff cause it makes it seem like they're either interested in getting to know me more, or that they think im a cool mutual who they wish to tag.

17. do you like ask games? yeah, it's fun to have people interested in you by asking stuff about you, i feed on the validation.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i don't think anyone. tumblr seems to be this weird place where even if you're a 10k+ followers blog, you're still the same kind of internet degen that a smaller blog is. like people are mostly here to see your reblogs which most blogs don't create.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? not particularly. but all my moots are hot af so all of them.

20. what is the last song you listened to? Baddadan(feat. IRAH, Flowdan, Trigga & Takura) by Chase & Status.

21. what are you currently watching? oshi no ko s2, nokotan brainrot, TOG s2, slime S3, and other anime from this season.

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? i like all. major sweet tooth but i have an obsession with hot cheetos so spicy?

23. what is your current relationship status? dead inside

24. what is your current obsession? uhh nothing in particular? still do gacha games, league swarm has been fun. always obsessed with music. energy drinks lately.

25. what are nine albums/ songs you’ve been listening to lately?

songs cause albums would be too hard, gonna hit shuffle on my liked song and put them on here, indecision. prepare for the roller coaster

Ew - Joji

Man on the run - Dash Berlin

Drowning - A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie.

The hand that feeds - Nine Inch Nails

Magnetic - ILLIT

HP - Maluma

Shame - 2Chainz, Lil Wayne

Dead Talk - Wind Walkers

it's my fault - Willow if you actually listen to these 9 songs my bad

i tag : @dreamweazel (got it right this time), @grimmscythe , @ghvsts, @creepingkyofu,

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[moonsbeta]

Thank you for tagging me @dandyvespa 💖! I loved all these questions!! And I also enjoyed reading what you said!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I chose this url cause I’m a huge moon enthusiast, I’ve always gravitated towards the moon ever since I was a child (it’s always calmed and grounded me). And beta well, for multiple reasons! When it comes to writing I like to beta, and drawing I find beta work to be amazing. And lastly with abo dynamics I would totally be a beta lol! So all around I’m a beta when it comes to doing things. So hence moonsbeta!

2. Any side blogs? If you have them name them and why you have them.

Nope! This is my only blog, and has been for awhile! Although this is not my first blog, I previously had two others (I think lol)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Since 2015 but on this blog since 2017, I believe!

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I do not!

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to start fresh! I wanted to create a blog where I could post about ALL my likings and not just one specific thing! To be able to post about multiple things but be organized and make it look nice hahaha!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I’m just in love with this picture of Jungkook! It’s probably one of my favorite pictures of him ever! I love how he looks, with his pretty face and features! His pout and pretty hair and eyes!

7. Why did you choose your header?

I chose it cause I definitely wanted something animated/a gif, probably from an anime. I also wanted it to be pink to go with my pink theme. And so waves seemed fitting and I found this one that just fits perfectly! I love how it looks like the waves lap into the actual background because the colors are so similar!

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

It’s this post I screen-recorded of Jin’s birthday live! It was my favorite part of the live and I found it so funny! So I’m happy it’s this one! I remember sitting and thinking what I should caption it lol I was so shocked to see that many notes!

https://moonsbeta.tumblr.com/post/189454488206/as-soon-as-jin-left-it-became-a-jungjihope

9. How many mutals do you have?

Around 3-4! 💕

I’m always down to have more but I’m terrible at communication/responding 😔

10. How many followers do you have?

282! <333

11. How many people do you follow?

492!! Damn I didn’t even know I followed that many, but all of them are 👌🏻

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Umm,,, I’m not sure! Maybe?

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

I hadn’t been using it as frequently but recently I’ve been on here a bit more! Maybe once to three times a day!

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I haven’t! Not that I remember, even online I’m scared of confrontation LOL! I know that I have a private post that I made which is reallly long responding to someone that said some unnecessary stuff I disagreed with but I didn’t have the guts to post it publicly!

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I don’t like it when posts have that or are being too aggressive with a “you’re ‘this’ if you don’t reblog” cause I don’t want guilt-tripping to be the reason for a reblog.

also it makes my ocd act up and I become anxious if I don’t do it or don’t want to reblog cause I feel like something bad might happen and I don’t want anyone else to feel bad because calling people things will only diminish the real meaning behind those words and actual victims of those kinds of people, and make innocent people feel bad about themselves in the end.

16. So you like tag games?

I do! It makes me feel good when I get tagged, I love it! And I really enjoy reading what my mutual said and then responding with my own things!

17. Do you like ask games?

I do! But I’ve never done it personally although I would like to!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I feel like all of them lowkey have a pretty decent following lol!

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I don’t! I haven’t had a crush in yearss tho!

20. Tags?

Tag you’re it~ : @evannotoven @winwxn @jiminieloved @iuconic @soonhoonsol and anyone else who wants to do it (you can @ me too!!) I’m also adding @princebeomgyu <3

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[sakura-haruka]

Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after! 

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick)  he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone. 

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW. 

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me. 

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every  creators here I want my edits to get notes. 

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it. 

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular. 

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I  finally forgot about it. 

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then. 

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore. 

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally. 

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that. 

 In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke.  Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset  from the movie and no, just stop dude.  Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee  and in my head  it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work.  I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something. 

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one.  it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is. 

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow. 

[sambergscott]

OOH! 🚦im excited

prompt: kissing at red lights + driving mac home for the very first time

He nervously taps his hands against the steering wheel, fiddles with the mirrors and lowers the window, despite the cool October air sending a shiver through his body.

He’s driven this route a million times over - their apartment to the hospital and the hospital back to their apartment. From the early days of their partnership, taking Amy home after she fell and sprained her wrist in pursuit of a perp, to their anniversary last year, holding hands over the central console and discussing their Thai take-out order, to a couple of months back, touring the maternity ward; he knows every pot hole, left turn and shortcut to avoid the crazy New York traffic. But he’s never driven it with a baby before. His perfect, day-old, liquid fire baby. It’s a lot of presh.

He glances at Amy over his shoulder, quadruple checking that Mac’s car seat is secure. She kisses his chubby cheeks and shuts the passenger door, climbing in the front with Jake.

She grimaces in pain as she settles into the seat.

“Still sore?” He asks, even though he already knows the answer. He saw Page 53 with his own eyes.

“Mm-hmm,” she confirms half-heartedly, trying not to complain. Not after they waited so long for this moment. Not after all the vitamins and overly-scheduled sex and nights spent crying into his chest. She’s already told him she’d go through the pain - both physical and mental - all over again to end up with this outcome, to end up with Mac.

(“I could’ve done without having to run an entire precinct on my own during a citywide blackout while in labor, mind,” she added, making him laugh.)

“You’re a freakin’ hero. You did so good, Ames.”

She blushes under his complement and double-tucks and yeah, that still sends his heart into overdrive.

“As soon as my Paternity Leave is up, I’m recommending you for a Medal of Valor. As is Holt. As is Terry. As is Rosa. As is Charles. Hitchcock and Scully still think they saved the precinct by emptying the fridge, but I’ll just forge their signatures or something. You deserve this.”

Mac makes a noise of agreement in the backseat or maybe it’s more of a “hurry up and get home so I can get out of this car seat” kind of thing, but either way, Jake starts the engine.

“I love you so much,” Amy says, her eyes filling with tears.

“Love you so much too,” he responds easily. He can’t believe he ever struggled to say those words, the way it comes so naturally now. He tells her he loves her all the time - at the end of phone calls, on post-it notes stuck on the fridge, in work emails attached to information on a case, at home, when she brings him a coffee or pretends to care about Mario Party, when she wears one of his plaid shirts or on Thursdays when she goes over their weekly budget, her tongue sticking out her mouth in concentration. His heart feels so full, yet his love for her only seems to grow and grow.

His love for the little guy, too.

Every look, every tiny whimper, every time he clenches Jake’s finger in his fist. He may have his dad’s face, but he has certainly inherited Amy Santiago’s incredible everything else.

He goes to press his foot on the gas, but his muscles atrophy, refusing to let him move the metal death-trap and endanger his newest best friend.

He takes a deep breath, reassures himself that it will be fine, that people safely take their babies home from hospital all the time, that they specifically bought this car because of its safety features, and tries again.

Nope.

His leg won’t move.

His brain runs wild with everything that could go wrong. He could fall asleep at the wheel, crash, and die. A drunk driver could swerve towards them, crash, and die. The engine could blow up, causing them to crash, and die.

“Jake, let’s go,” Amy prompts, already missing the weight of their son in her arms.

“I’m scared,” he confesses, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “What if something happens? What if I suddenly forget how to drive? What if the car spontaneously explodes?”

“This isn’t Fast and Furious, Jake. There will be no explosions. We’re just taking our son home.”

“We have so many arch nemeses that might want to hurt him,” he frets. They’ve collectively put away hundreds and hundreds of criminals and the list of those wanting to get back at them is long.

“Then they’ll take one look at his adorable face and change their mind. Come on, if I can push this massive baby out, you can do the 15 minute drive home.”

He nods quickly, looks at Mac one last time, and gently presses the accelerator. For his wife.

He drives at like 20 mph, earning himself a lot of honking horns, middle fingers and shouted curse words in thick New York accents from the queue of cars behind.

“You alright there, Peralta?” She says as he stops at a red light, raising her eyebrows. “You never drive this slow.”

“Got precious cargo in the back,” he explains. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white. His eyes are all over the place, his detective intuition seeking out any potential threats. His heart beats faster and faster.

Amy leans over the central console and kisses him tenderly.

It helps.

There’s an angry honk behind them when they miss the light change and he holds his hand up in apology, setting off at a snail’s pace once more.

He stops at 8 more lights, earning a kiss for every block closer to home.

When they finally reach the apartment and he switches off the engine, he leans his head back against the seat, releasing a shuddering breath. “That was the most stressful thing I’ve ever done. And I had to use a prison shower.”

“You’re a freakin’ hero and you did so good,” she repeats his words from before.

He shakes his head. “Driving has got nothing on Page 53, babe.”

“Yeah, you’re right, Page 53 was not fun.” She scrunches up her nose at the memory. “Help me out?”

“Of course, m’lady,” he grins, jumping out of his side and jogging to her door, wrapping his arm around her torso and helping her up.

Amy gets Mac, delighting in the way his eyes light up when he sees her and Jake gets the bags and Baby Boy balloons and locks up the car, following them to the apartment door.

First big dad challenge, nailed.

Maybe he can do this after all.

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL: Tell me! Secrets Q&A

Last post of the month! so I’ll once again end by asking you to please support me if you can either on ko-fi, through paypal or patreon for access to my blog post translations or just to support me. …. also let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my looking for list since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that i can share...

This is the thing that i left as ???? on my March update post... and the thing that i accidentally posted the title of back in may when i was planning out my queue (oops?). 

I think I should start by saying that I translated this for amusement.... though I won't deny how this is a fascinating piece of reference for writing hahaha......

Unfortunately since this is only limited to the main six, I really wish I had some of Yamazaki’s responses to these....

Favourites by character order: Hijikata's answer to Q4, Saito's to Q5, Harada's to Q7 and Kazama's to Q7.

Only for references purposes. LMAO. 

enjoy!

Hakuoki SSL: Tell me! Secrets Q&A

From 『B's-LOG別冊 オトメイトマガジン vol.9』

Translation by KumoriYami

Q1: What is the first thing you wash when bathing [text can be interpreted as either bath or shower]?

Q2: Where would you want to go for a date?

Q3: At Hakuo Gakuen, who do you have the best relationship with?

Q4: Where do you want to go most now?

Q5: What words and actions/behaviours from a woman make you feel a rush of excitement/moves you ["feel a rush of excitement" is an idiom. can be also interpreted more literally as 'move your heart']/excite you the most?

Q6: What are your favourite school activities [roughly says: fond of school activities]?

Q7: What do you wear while sleeping?

Q8: What are your best and worst subjects?

Q9 What happened recently that made you happy?

----------

Hijikata Toshizou

A1: Hands should be washed first.

A2: This...... How about going to a Buddhist shine that has snow in its surroundings. We can recite poetry [either that or songs]....... No, I didn't say anything.

A3: Kondou-san.

A4: I don't know why, [but], no matter what happens, I want to see Hokkaido [says reckless/regardless of everything].

A5: Rather than saying affecting the heart, perhaps it might be better to say that [I'm] not good at dealing with a woman staring into my eyes without fear [or something like that...?].

A6: Although it might cause misunderstandings, that would naturally be writing exams [conducting exams to be written...?].

A7: I sleep in Western style pyjamas.

A8: The subject I am good at is classical literature, [and] I'm not good at chemistry.

A9: Probably when I met with that guy who listened to listened to me without getting tired.

----------

Okita Souji

A1: Hey, after learning about this, what do you plan on doing?

A2: Of course, it needs to be a place where you can go have fun and be happy. That's How about an amusement park, or something like that?

A3:……This question is very difficult to answer. Who knows.

A4: Now? During winter? Oh...... somewhere that isn't cold.

A5: Heheh...... you're probably just wanting to secretly watch me while thinking I haven't found anything out, and of how surprised I'll look when I do.

A6: Club activities.

A7: What will you be wearing? If you want to tell me, I'll tell you after.

A8: I'm actually not particularly good at anything, [but] I dislike classical literature the most.

A9: I saved quite a few pictures of someone recently.

----------

Saito Hajime

A1: Ah, probably the feet.

A2: Da-date!? Then...... a place to go together with a woman? For me/As far as I'm concerned, as long as we're together, it doesn't mater where we go.

A3: Well, when it concerns time spent on school activities, that would be Yamazaki.

A4: I don't know why [but] I look forward to winter, and would like to see snow as soon as possible....... I want to go to a place where I can see snow. 

[Personally, i don't get why people like summer lol. I seriously hate summer. and the heat. Snow is soooo much better than the heat. i absolutely can't stand hot weather lol]

A5: Does this question have to be answered? Really...... then, when she shows/exposes her ear...... Ah.

A6: Probably school trips. It's nice to go learn and study new things in places you wouldn't normally go to.

A7: I personally feel that tight sweatshirts are very good.

A8: I'm good at classical literature, [but] I'm not good at math.

A9: When two equal partners people share their lives...... when you hold your other half's hand, you will immediately feel that you are not alone.

----------

Toudou Heisuke

A1: If taking a bath/shower....... of course it'd be the head, the head!

A2: Obviously going to the game centre! Eh...... ah, for a date? Then, is going to karaoke OK? [ok is ENG here]

A3:  The person that I have the best relationship with, that'd be Souji since we're constantly together. However let me say beforehand, that this doesn't mean I have a good relationship with him.

A4: This period [Right now]...... it'd be nice to participate in a snow festival? I'd like to go somewhere where I can play with snow.

A5: This....... Ah....... Is it that just that I'm defenceless, or was I just relieved..... [to be able to show her my] sleeping face like that? [I think??????????????]

A6: The cultural festival!

A7: Sleeping in a skintight sweatshirt/sports jersey?

A8: Subject that I'm good at, I can fill in the blanks for modern language [i'm assuming this means a version of Japanese characters but since I don't feel like looking it up right now, I'm just going to leave that translation as is for now.] during an exam, but I'm completely unable to understand stuff in English.

A9: Er...... Well...... after being going into that room again after many years...... I found that the inside arrangement/layout had changed a lot so I was surprised. However she was really happy to let me in.

----------

Harada Sanosuke

A1: Hey. Do you know the common sense of bathing before taking before taking a shower?

A2: Date...... as long as it's the two of us together, it doesn't matter where we go. After she turns 20, there are many places that I'd like to take her to.

A3: Rather than saying that it's a good relationship, it might be accurate to call the relationship with Shinpachi and ill-fated one/ It's not so much a good relationship as a bad one between myself and Shinpachi.

A4: It's rarely winter, I want to go with a country with lots of snow. During the day I'll ski and take a sled/sleigh/bobsled, and in evenings I'll go soak in a spa/hot spring, while also enjoying other foreign culture.

A5: This....... [Seeing] the view of your back while [you're] in the cooking for me in the kitchen.

[the wording in this sentence reaaaaaaally threw me off since it kinda (more literally) reads as "in the kitchen as I cook from behind" ]

A6: All the activities conducted by the school, they're unbelievably exhausting. However, being able to watch how all the students grow and mature, is something to enjoy.

A7: Regardless of what is said...... pyjamas will ultimately become an obstruction. [ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) pfft...]

A8: This, since it's my specialty [referring to subject taught], I'm fast[? and?] good at using my body. Subsequently, I'm not good at every subject that requires lots of thinking.

A9: How can I say this, there's a line that absolutely must not be crossed when I'm together with her...... If I'm not resolute, this line would easily be crossed...... I've been thinking about this lately.

----------

Kazama Chikage

A1: Bathing......? The first thing to do, shouldn't that be immersing oneself in the bathtub?

A2:  First tell me where you want to go. I will bring you there.

A3: This way of describing the relationship is very literal [??? well something like that. either that or something along the lines of: That is a good adjective that literally describes the relationship]. It goes without saying, that would naturally be my wife.

A4: Where my wife and I get married.

A.5 Hesitating while wanting to say something with beautiful and delicate eyes while gazing at my appearance, hahaha......

A6: Of course that would be student council [activities].

[it's either that or student assemblies depending on how the words after ‘student' are interpreted, since if they are translated as verbs instead of noun/adjectives, it can mean something to the effect of 'complete gathering of students'... which is also why im kinda leaning towards 'assemblies' though.]

A7: What is meant by this question? Isn't it common sense to sleep while naked?

A8: I'm an expert at every subject. No subject exists that I am not an expert in.

A9: Fufu....... This year I will surely be able to graduate. I've been waiting for so long...... waiting for far too long!

----------

this probably felt longer to translate than it actually did lol... too many questions and answers.... also i don’t know if this was reprinted in one of the ssl books. maybe when i’m bored i’ll mtl the jp to double check some of this lol.... or not.

[far-off-flower-fields]

Weird Questions that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups!

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? We call elementary school primary school. It depended which teachers you asked, my favourites always said I was “conscientious, kind, and a pleasure to have in class”.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Glass cups or bottles.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? I have like 4 looks, pastel, boho, and goth/witchy/grunge, also vintage-inspired which wasn’t mentioned but I love it.

7. earbuds or headphones? Depends on the shape, I love my Razr headset because it doesn’t squash my ears, and I like galaxy bud shaped earbuds, the ones with the little rubber doo-dads that fit actually in your ear. Apple or a lot of older flat earbuds cause me a lot of pain.

8. movies or tv shows? TV shows. Movies are getting longer and longer and my focus is getting shorter and shorter

9. favorite smell in the summer? Rainy days!

10. game you were best at in p.e.? The game of queue-ducking (where you go to the back of the queue to avoid your turn), or dance, or the less strength intensive parts of gymnastics. Or crying, always been great at that xD

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? Muesli, or nothing.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I prefer to listen to full albums rather than playlists, but I have a few favourites on Spotify. Born to Run 150BPM, Infinite Indie Folk, Irish Folk: Jigs and Reels, All Out 80s/90s/00s. I also love scene/pop-punk playlists.

13. lanyard or key ring? Key Ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Message Hearts (or anything with that texture), the red pack of starbursts (the UK version is vegan). Does Turkish Delight count because if so then that is my fave. I also like gummies if they’re vegan.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? To Kill a Mockingbird (high school), or The Bloody Chamber (uni), or Hamlet (uni)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? One foot under me, the other foot out to the other side, but both in the same position (if the surface is flat), or knees up.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? I own a lot of shoes so there isn’t really a single pair I wear the most. Recently my Air Force 1s, I’m trying to wear them in because the previous owner didn’t so the cause blisters.

18. ideal weather? Cold, overcast, rainy, still. Or without the rain. or snow (as long as I’m not going in the car and I can go crunch my shoes in it xD

19. sleeping position? Either side, but my body is kinda rotated towards the bed so it’s like half way between on my stomach and on my side. 

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Notebooks

21. obsession from childhood? Animals, dinosaurs, goddesses, magic, crystals, neopets, sims. I still love all of these things, I am a rotating door of obsessions, usually a bunch of the same obsessions on repeat.

22. role model? I don’t have one particular role model, I do have tons of people that I love and respect.

23. strange habits? I have so many strange habits that I have become one myself. Nothing actually stands out though because 99% of it is because of my brain.

24. favorite crystal? rose quartz or moonstone.

25. first song you remember hearing? Maybe Dancing Queen by ABBA, definitely the first I remember dancing to, but my dad loves music so I grew up with a constant stream of it.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Suffer xD when I’m able to do so comfortably I’d love to go out looking for pretty stones, and nice sticks with my fiance, also would like to go on picnics with him, or a friend if I had one.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? Baking, drawing, crafts, standing in the rain. Everything.

28. five songs to describe you? 6/10 - Dodie Robert Frost - Mal Blum Caught in the Middle - Paramore Side Effects - Jade Bird Snitches Get Stitches - Onsind  Bonus track: The Seed - Aurora I wish I still had the playlist I made of songs I relate to, several of these were on it though.

29. best way to bond with you? Oversharing, or telling me about things you’re into.

30. places that you find sacred? Nature. My favourite spots are little creeks/rivers in wooded areas, but just like, all of it is special and should be treated as such. Also bedrooms.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I think maybe I’m not gutsy or whatever enough, but also unpredictable. I wear whatever I like, and I’m just as likely to cry in all of them as I am to accidentally get in a fight.

32. top favorite vines? I feel so basic because I never really did the vine thing.  There was one that nearly killed me because I literally started to choke that was in some kind of office and the bit like can you run this past me again, and they just fucking legged it past them holding a folder up, Saw it once, never saw it again. Road work ahead. Why you can’t lift a house (might be a tok?) Brass dad and oven kid Look at this graaaaph Never learned how to read I can’t sit I have hemorrhoids The one with the people in blankets bobbing the nana nanana song Fr esh avo ca do Look at all these chickens

33. most used phrase in your phone? I love you - if I had to guess

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? right now, nothing. I often get the old Super Liquor jingle lodged in there though.

35. average time you fall asleep? 6am?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Charlie the unicorn or that one Noodles video by Cyanide and Happiness. Are those even memes?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Depends. I mostly use a bag though since I never go anywhere for long.

38. lemonade or tea? Tea? Usually if you ask for lemonade here you get Sprite which is not lemonade.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I had a vegan lemon meringue pie once, so good. Cake is easier to make though, and I can eat more in one sitting without getting sick xD

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Um, the principal in my last year of school got caught for being a peeping tom a few years after I left.

41. last person you texted? My Fiance.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Depends on the rest of the outfit and the weather. I wear Jean jackets most though.

44. favorite scent for soap? I love lavender, or vanilla/candy/fruity/baked goods type scents. I still have a bottle of Sugar Fairy spray from lush from a year ago and I love the smell of that.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy I think.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nekkid?

47. favorite type of cheese? As a kid it was feta. Now I only eat vegan cheese. I was never a huge cheese fan tbh.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Rotten xD um probably a cranberry or something because I’m small, and I’m not a fan of cranberry.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? An it harm none do what you will. Or treat others as you wish to be treated.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? Probably one of the vines I listed above, either “run it past” or “can’t lift a house” because both of those resulted in crying and choking.

51. current stresses? My cat has been throwing up and having diarrhoea the past week or so, she’s been to the vet, it got better for a bit, but tonight suddenly got worse. Living with my parents who I have a very toxic relationship with. Living in a single very overfilled room. Trying to not spend money so that I can save up to move next year. Nightmares about my trauma. Either the house is haunted or there’s a build up of negative energy (probably that).

52. favorite font? I always liked the look of all of the script style fonts (freestyle, french, lucida, lucida calligraphy, Edwardian, Palace) but they’re not accessible so for anything people will actually see (which is literally nothing) I always go with arial.

53. what is the current state of your hands? Slight rash on one finger because I��m sensitive to what is in a lot of hand washing products apparently (never an issue until the pandemic), one broken finger nail that is a bit shorter than the rest. Not painted nails because energy. I always wear my engagement ring, usually I wear several other rings but with how my skin is being I thought I’d better not for a while.

54. what did you learn from your first job? Bakeries are hell, my circadian rhythm will not adjust to anything besides its natural state for longer than a couple of days at a time no matter how long or hard I try. I can absolutely fall asleep standing up.

55. favorite fairy tale? Ugly Duckling

56. favorite tradition? I don’t have anyway... Yet? Hopefully when I move this can become a thing.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I’m interpretting overcome loosely here, meaning “I have not died from this” - Suicide of my first love - Bullying - 3 different jobs that all nearly killed me

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Literally can’t think of one. I’m not talented. I’m passable at a couple of things, but I worked for those things and I’m still not good enough for anyone to confuse me for being talented xD Those things I care about that I’ve worked on a lot are singing, art, languages, crafts? I still struggled to come up with 4. My bad.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Aw jeez xD

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Magical Girl! This is an easy one, give me the powers and the clothes yessss.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Literally sitting here drawing a blank, so instead of favourite here is the first one that came into my head “eyes are the genitals of the head” (may have that wrong, I’m watching the Office for the first time rn)

62. seven characters you relate to? Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Amelie from Amelie Matilda from Matilda Quasimodo from the Hunchback of Notredame (also my favourite plush as a kid) Iris - The Holiday Jess - New Girl Amelia Shepherd - Grey’s Anatomy Struggled with this because suddenly I drew a blank and also couldn’t remember who my Fiance was talking about every time he’s watched a character and said “that’s you” repeatedly.

63. five songs that would play in your club? Starlight - Superman Lovers Pump It - Black Eyed Peas I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor - Arctic Monkeys All the Things She Said - tATu Doctor Jones - Aqua Bonus: Push Up - Freestylers These are ones  I have memories of dancing to when I was younger so that’s how I picked, but I’d absolutely be a themed night club with different music on different nights.

64. favorite website from your childhood? Neopets, which I still play daily. The first I played was MaMaMedia, then Bubblegum Club.

65. any permanent scars? That’s a SORE subject heh get it heh

66. favorite flower(s)? Lavender, rose, peony

67. good luck charms? I usually carry gemstones if I’m needing to be particularly lucky, or sigils.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I hate anything spicy. I had rootbeer candy that tasted like literal dirt. I can’t eat banana stuff without gagging and getting a headache. I hate anything that is artificial blackberry or blackcurrant, tastes like shitty cough syrup.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? Sea Monkeys breathe through their feet, but I remember where I learned that.

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? depends entirely on the colours, I like patterns. but certain stripes do make my eyes feel funny.

72. worst subject? If PE counts, then that. If not, math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? I love pineapple on pizza but that’s not weird. Iused to eat cheese and jam sandwiches as a kid though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I operate on how long it has lasted instead of how bad it is, essentially I get so desperate so I’ll try it even though it probably won’t help. I have the resistance of a rhino to most meds.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? No idea, like 4 I think? I did keep them in a weird little box for no reason though because they never got taken away from under my pillow.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I’m a fan of a good mash if it has lots of flavour (like gravy). Otherwise, crisps or fries.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I grew a radish once! Something cat safe though these days, also maybe something heavy, and hard to knock over?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Grocery Store sushi, if it’s just veg.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My only ID is my passport, and it is BAD.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Both.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies (ten million of them to be precise)

82. pc or console? Grew up with PC. Now play my switch mostly.

83. writing or drawing? Both. Wrote more as a kid, draw more now.

84. podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Both. But I prefered pollies as a kid

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cupcakes

87. your greatest fear? Based on my nightmares, stairs.

88. your greatest wish? To live in a comfy house, in the country, with my Fiance, I have travelled the world, we have pets, I can function, we are free.

89. who would you put before everyone else? My Fiance and out animals.

90. luckiest mistake? Can’t think of any, most of my mistakes have been more like bad choices, also never turned out well for me.

91. boxes or bags? Depends what it’s for?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? lamps, or fairy lights. Unless I’m particularly anxious, then overheads.

93. nicknames? None.

94. favorite season? Winter

95. favorite app on your phone? LINE, it has my fiance, and animated stickers.

96. desktop background? Little Twin Stars

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? My own.

I never get asks and needed to distract myself so I’m going to just answer these anyway, like a survey or something. Original post by tr33-g1rl 

[bookishbratbabe]

I’m sorry I’ve been so absent lately, friends. Life has been hectic and crazy and I feel very emotionally drained 100% of the time, so that’s why I haven’t been as responsive to asks and tags.

Quick life update:

My mom adopted one of my cats because Halpert was always mean to Beesly (she’s the blind one). I wasn’t actively trying to get rid of him but my little sister fell in love with Halpert. My mom knew the issue I was having with him being a bully and offered to adopt him to help out. It ended up being way more emotional and dramatic than I was expecting when my mom took him because my two year old son saw him leaving and was heartbroken. And then I was left feeling guilty like I was a bad cat mom for giving him away (even though it’s my mom and I can go see him whenever I want) and a bad human mom on top of it.

The end of April was the anniversary of my father’s death. I had a really bad relationship with the man to the point where I hadn’t seen or talked to him in the last 4 years of his life. He honestly was a horrible father and person in general. But the anniversary of his death had me feeling “my own father didn’t love me” feels and I felt myself slipping into depression again

And then my company made some major changes, firing my district manager and laying off my only coworker, leaving me and my branch manager alone in the office just as business started picking up. Now I have a new district manager and I had to learn his management style and his expectations. That part has actually been pretty great and I actually love the guy. But this week I’ve been the only one in the office at month end (which is a huge deal in the banking and finance industry) because my branch manager had a death in the family.

My daycare closed due to COVID-19 and they just announced their plan to reopen next month. They basically stated that my they are increasing rates from $200/w to $250/w (that’s an extra $200/m!!!) AND they are closing at 5:30 (I don’t get out of work until 5:30 and it takes me 15 minutes to get to the daycare). So... now I don’t have a daycare and I highly doubt other daycares will be taking new kids with the current state requirements. My little sister has been watching him but she already told me she didn’t want to watch him all summer 😑

I’ve started taking birth control again after 4 years of not taking it. I had my first period since being on birth control and it just didn’t stop??? I’ve now been on my period for 20 days straight and it still has not stopped. So now my doctor is changing prescriptions which is just extra stress on my body.

My gramma has a very rare type of cancer and it has metastasized. One of the areas she has had the most problems with is her spine and it keeps coming back. All of the treatments of chemo and radiation have caused the bones in her spine to deteriorate and her spine is now crumbling. Tomorrow she is having major surgery to remove the crumbling bone with titanium but it’s a very high risk surgery and I’m basically freaking out. The type of cancer she has is very rare and so there hasn’t been a lot of research for it yet. When she was diagnosed two and half years ago, she was only given 6 months. She’s been doing great despite having two major facial reconstructive surgeries but in the last six months she’s become really weak and sick from complications. I’m really close with my gramma and I’m used to seeing her every Sunday for breakfast but I haven’t seen her since January because she was in self isolation even before quarantine started due to low white blood cell count.

On a positive note, the new prescription I’ve been taking for my migraines seems to be working. I’ve only had one migraine in the last month and I’m used to having 2-3 a week.

This turned into a bigger rant than I was expecting. Anyway, I love you all and miss interacting with you. Hopefully things calm down a little and I can be on tumblr more than to just throwing things in my queue or random angst posting.

😽💖

[wanderingaunt]

Where'd You Go, Robin?

This is the first post in my 30-day blog challenge.

Oh look, Robin seems to have disappeared again.

No one actually realizes I’m gone.

Those are the voices I hear in my head as I think through getting back online. My thoughts are very judgmental. I often create fake scenarios and conversations about myself or what I think others are saying about me.

That’s my queue to take a step back.

Honestly, the virtual world was getting to be too much for me. When COVID began to spread throughout the U.S. in March, I found myself feeling pretty grounded and focused. It was the first time in 2 years that I had stopped to slow down. I was in Dallas at my sister’s and learning to adjust to suburban life for a change.

Slow down.

That’s normally not a phrase I say. Yet, the more I learn about my Human Design and how I’m wired, the more I recognize this to be part of who I am. According to my Human Design, I am a 6/2 Manifesting Generator. Manifesting Generators can often be perceived as flighty or non-committal. We like to try things on before we know if it’s going to be a fit for us. The 6/2 identifies the part of me that is a hermit as well as a role model. As I look back at my life over the past 2 years, I can see this pattern unfolding. I am free-spirited and tend to do life at my own pace. Sometimes my pace is consistent and steady, while other times it’s slow as molasses. Sometimes I’m out in the spotlight while other times, I’m going deep within and tuning out everything around me.

While I was settled in Dallas, I found myself adjusting to being in one place. When Stay at Home Orders began, I took it as an invitation to settle in and focus on my work and completing my Retreat Leader certification as part of my yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux. I was feeling pretty great and proud of myself for actually focusing and having a routine. As someone who moves around quite a bit, routines are few and far between.

As May approached, I realized that the coursework due date for my certification was fast approaching. In true Robin fashion, I waited until 2 weeks prior to May 2nd to complete 4 months’ worth of assignments. I thrive off of deadlines, yet I don’t always embrace that about myself. I hunkered down and became laser-focused. I completed my work on time and only had a couple of assignments that I needed to redo. I continued to press through and show up fully.

Completing my coaching program became my focus and refuge from the craziness happening with COVID. Yet, my focus was quickly pulled back as hardship came upon my family.

On Mother’s Day, we received a message from my Mom that my Dad was in the hospital with Severe Sepsis. My Mom called an ambulance to take him to the ER earlier that morning. He spent a week in the hospital and came close to death. Thankfully, he survived and has since made a full recovery.

Soon after that, the terrible tragedy with George Floyd happened. I found myself consumed with social media activism—posting and sharing content on my feed, signing petitions, reading, and learning. And then within a week of that, we received the news that my beloved cousin, Clint, had died of cancer at the young age of 44.

My nervous system went into shock.

Another aspect of Human Design is that it shows which channels you have open. I have many open centers and as a result, I’m highly sensitive or in other words, an empath. An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally. When I’m not conscious of protecting my energy, I can literally feel the weight of the world. When I go into overwhelm, I retreat into my cocoon (hermit phase).

2020 has been an extremely difficult and unexpected year for the entire world. For me personally, there’s been a lot of change, heartbreak, loss, and regret. As a nomad, I went from the freedom of traveling the world to being confined to one spot; in February, I ended a relationship with a man that I love and have had to deal with the regret and heartbreak from that decision; and then with COVID and all of the anti-racism movements happening, my system was in overload. After my cousin died, it was the final straw for my emotional well-being. I found myself distant from my friends and family and unable to maintain healthy boundaries or communication.

I knew it was time for me to go inward and tune out for a bit.

"I was becoming more and more of a hermit. It's not so much that I was running away from something, I was running into myself."  -- Michael A. Singer, The Surrender Experiment

I rented a car and headed west to Colorado for a personal retreat at the beautiful Six Eagles Haven. It was the first time I had left Dallas in 4 months, and ironically it was the last place I traveled to prior to COVID. When I was nearing my arrival, tears fell upon me, and I began sobbing and yelling uncontrollably.

I was having an emotional breakdown.

The breakdown lasted for at least 30 to 45 minutes. I was near panic mode. I showed up at the retreat center completely exhausted and emotionally drained. I knew I was in the right place to come exactly as I was and that nothing was wrong. I knew I was safe. My coach, Allison, was there to guide and support me through this time.

My emotional breakdown, while painful, was the start of a magical journey for me.

Six Eagles Haven is such a special place and has created many profound experiences for me. Each week there will be a movie night where Randy (Allison’s husband) will select a movie for us to watch. He selected Where’d You Go, Bernadette. I had seen this movie earlier in the year while flying back from Africa, yet this time I felt connected to the main character. The movie is about a former architect named Bernadette played by Cate Blanchett. In the movie you witness Bernadette go through her own life crisis. She’s distant, always starting and not finishing projects, and unable to cope with the real world. Without going into much detail, Bernadette has lost her art and power to create. She gave up creating, which in turn caused her to give up on life.

I found myself relating to Bernadette. I was born to create, and I’ve been resisting that part of me for far too long.

One of the main reasons I went to Colorado was so I could have access to nature and hiking. I got up everyday and lost myself in the woods. I am a explorer at heart and love going off the beaten path. One morning I woke up and decided I was going to climb a mountain. I walked into the kitchen and told Allison that I was going to hike Mount Garfield. Allison looked at me and asked if I was looking for a challenge.

Yes, a challenge is exactly what I need.

Be careful what you wish for. ;) I had looked at the reviews and had read that it was a difficult, hard, and challenging hike. I’ve been on several challenging hikes before, so I figured this wouldn’t be too big of a deal. My ego laughed at me when I thought this.

“What is My Mountain?”

This is the question I contemplated as I was climbing Mount Garfield. This climb caused me to confront how I go about challenging situations and embrace the part of me that wakes up and declares, “Today, I’m going to climb a mountain.” When I made it back to my car, I felt so accomplished and on fire. This was exactly what I needed. I needed to remind myself of how strong and capable I am. I needed to remind myself that I thrive off of challenges and need my own mountain to climb.

The next day as I was taking my daily walk within the labyrinth, I got a download. Every time I enter the labyrinth, I set an intention for my walk and open myself up to signs and answers. This day, I asked Spirit for guidance around the question, “What is my mountain?”.

Spirit: Write 30 blogs in 30 days.

Me: 30…? How about 15?

Spirit: No, 30.

Me: 20?

Spirit: No, you asked for a mountain. 30.

Me: Gulp. Okay, 30…

This is what happens when I try to negotiate after I get a clear message. I’m not as great of a negotiator as I think I am… The call to write has been with me for over a year now. I have dismissed it again and again. I’ve enrolled others in my writing a book, yet, I’ve been in major resistance around actually starting. I’ve come up with every excuse and avoidance tactic. Even though, I keep receiving the call in meditation to write. Even though my oracle cards tell me, “Get thee to thy desk and write!” Even though others ask how my writing is going…I allow time to pass by and wait for tomorrow to come.

So here is my mountain: 30 blog posts in 30 days.

As with most challenges I take on, starting is the hardest part. I sit in resistance for a while and then over-analyze each word and sentence I type. I erase, write again, and repeat. I have no idea where this challenge will take me or what topics and words will be uncovered in the process. I trust the guidance of my higher self and Spirit to guide me. I trust that whatever is meant to be written will be written. I trust that answers to many questions I hold will come to surface.

Where’d You Go, Robin?…You’ll have to read to find out.

I invite you to take some time to sit with the question “What is my mountain?” for yourself. Really sit with it and listen. What shows up for you?

Ways You Can Support the 30 Day Blog Challenge

I would love your support during this challenge. While I am taking on this challenge for myself, I trust that you will identify with my writing and read the posts that you are meant to read.

Subscribe to my newsletter so you receive posts on a daily or weekly basis.

Donate to my work. I’ve been writing this blog for 3 years now and produce all of my content for free. As an artist and creator, writing is my outlet for being fully self-expressed. Your support provides encouragement (and pays the bills) to keep going. <3

Share with your network. If you are inspired by my writing and this challenge, I’d appreciate you sharing it with anyone you feel will benefit.

Comment on the posts that speak to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and learn which topics you relate to or identify with.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

things that are exhausting in the new Overwatch Competitive:

when people queue for a role, and REFUSE to do it, it’s not like the old days when another could sub in for the tank or the healer if they’re throwing. Now you’re trapped in a match with what you hipe is some beligerent kid (and not a 40 something dbag) on the team REFUSIG to heal, or tank or dps. But moving about the map so they don’t get kicked for inactivity.

You can’t leave or YOU get hit with a miniban, and a points docking.

------

In the last match, the player who went Lucio (FOUR) and the one that went Ana/then Baptiste (SPECIAL) were an absolute fucking nightmare.

They would NOT heal, the team was being slaughtered. 

When we begged them to heal, SPECIAL said “I’m not your fucking personal doctor, there’s health packs around the map you fucks” etc. And the Lucio was just, you know, telling us to stop annoying them, right?

Well, the next thing anyone knows, when the match Chat is informed BOTH healers are throwing and to report them. Normal enough, these guys aren’t even TRYING to pretend they’re playing. 

They’re not ina group, by the way, just two individuals who decided to be assholes together

-----------

The next thing we know, FOUR and SPECIAL start cry-typing into the MAtch Chat:

What do you mean?

we’re doing the right thing?

etc.

Then there was this confusingly long paragraph, all in lower case sobbing at the other team about how (specific team member osiris) was like, being racist or something over the headsets. You know, the one thing that the opposing team can’t verify... because each team has their own match voice chats.

Well, apart from the fact it was complete bullshit, because that player wasn’t in voice chat, and was typing their responses because they didn’t have a mic... it was just, startling to see someone who was very clearly a white male aussie dude ~20-25ish and hopefully not more, playing the ‘I’ve been called racial slurs’ card.

For one, what the FUCK. For two, it deligitimises everyone who actually asks for assistance with the issue?

Also, as the team is begging the other team to help report the throwers//match saboteurs, because we can’t win, we can’t leave, and they’re harassing everyone over team chat and voice chat...

FOUR pipes up with this ALL CAPS RANT about being called the n-word, and how it was offensive to him, and so on and so on. It literally looked like something you’d find on like reddit or 4chan, for dudes ‘practicing to be SJWs’ on other sites, to start shit (you know the posts). 

The entire team is frantically trying to live and make it a respectable amount into the map so it won’t feel so horrific to lose this way, and these guys are acting like the world’s saddest, most put-upon creatures in the WORLD in match chat.

Apart from being highly pathetic, to the point of embarrassment, it was just generally awful. Like... why would you spend all that time queuing for a certain role then refuse to play it? Let your teammates die so you can like, ride on walls on the opposite end of the map, or get killshots at the expense of your team’s lives, or just start drama.

When asked why they did it, if they felt shame for making the team lose, by another member of the random assortment of players...  FOUR replied along the lines of “Next time you leave the house your mum’s spam purse will be on my mouth” which was, possibly the most horrendous way I have EVER heard of ANYONE saying ‘I’mma fuck yo momma’/

and one of them, maybe FOUR again, said they were delighted we would lose, it made them feel good.

>I should point out that, after the initial crytyping incident, I muted written and audio chat for SPECIAL, so I have no idea f they were still fucking about.

------

But it’s like ????????????????

Then there’s other games when you have excellent everything, except the damage players always go both snipers. And never change. Or choose something ludicrous for the map you’re on, and a hero that would only work if you changed the entire team composition...

Then they rant in chat or over the headsets for the longest time, about their ‘trash team’ and how ‘no one heals’ but it’s like, Buddy you have run your ass into the enemy team and died immediately 16 times because you can’t play very well why won’t you switch? or Hey we’re like 5 v 2 here and I am not turning around to leave the only tank on teh field contesting the payload to come heal your useless ass all the way on the other side of the map (sniper) no matter how many times you spam for healing.

My least favourite DPS are the ones standing riiiiight next to a healthpack, but they won’t use it, because you (the healer) need to come to them. Or the ones who think you should stand on teh roof and put your shield down over and over and over to protect them and their bad aim, like... 

------------

The new system was designed to make things fair, so we actually played comp with 2 healers / 2 Damage Players / 2 Tanks.

And that’s a great concept!

But consider: 

+When someone drops out, or two someones drop out mid-match because you lost a round, and then the match won’t let an alternate player in. So it’s 6 vs 4 or less. Once was the only person left on my team, and the other team had a full 6; because a 5 stack left, and it didn’t cancel the match. And it kept trying to throw me for inactivity when I was trying to stealthily snipe a few of the (highly amused) enemy team on the payload... as a mercy. LMAO

+When no one in a certain slot will do their job and the team is being slaughtered, there’s no way to do anything about it. You can’t switch to that type and take over. You’re fucked.

+Some people are just... born assholes. There’s actually a really good song about it, “Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life?  Either way, turned out fine. ‘Cause you’re an aaaaaaaasshole tonight!” This would backfire. 

The grease-lined pit of hell that is being trapped in bronze tier. Was silver, when I first tried a few hundred levels back, that was fine, but you get a run of bad games, teammates who won’t work, etc. and they demote you. There’s no way OUT and therefore the chance you end up with teammates like the aforementioned, is like 500% higher. 

Still, next match I hope for a win. But it was like... why did you queue all this time to be an asshole about it? lmao

[vanillacup-cakes]

This is, by far, the latest I’ve ever written one of my year round-ups, and by far, the messiest post. 

2019 was a year guys, so have a really messily written year round up. If I try to tidy it up we’ll be here until December. 

TL;DR

2019.

2019 was a year of love; happy, sad, somewhere in between. 

My heart got broken. 

Hera got married. 

My friends are in love. 

At the end of the Barat, in Pakistani wedding traditions, the bride goes home with the groom. Any events before that the bride always came home with her family. But for this main event, after the actual marriage contract has been signed, after all the festivities, she goes home with the groom. We took it in turns to hug Hera goodbye, I pushed myself to the back of the queue being the crier of the group. 

When I was talking to Hera’s cousin she mentioned that some people have questioned why this little bit of the wedding celebrations causes such emotional responses from the bride’s family and friends, after all, we’ll see her again the next evening for the reception. And it’s not like she’s gone forever, she has just moved out of her parents house. She said that the reason for this was not because we will never see her again but because things will never be the same from that moment on. Not in a good, nor a bad way, it just is. 

Changed. 

Life changes and when one of your close friends get married it changes your relationship with them. Not that you or they love you/them less, not that you or they are less important, not that you or they care less. It just changes. 

it doesn’t even have to be marriage. 

In October, one morning in Peak District I was stood in the kitchen of our rented apartment and in front of me were two of my best friends with their other halves going on about their day eating their breakfast. It was a picturesque little scene I tried to capture as a photo, I was scared of ruining the moment though and my sly camera skills were terrible so I just have a blurry evidence of that moment. Throughout that holiday I caught little moments of the two couples, little moments I can’t really describe but you know it when you’re around it, little moments that made my heart swell and hurt at the same time. Because things are different. Things have changed. 

Change isn’t bad, it can be really, really good. In fact I hope it’s a really, really, really good change for all of them, I just need a moment to accept that we’re no longer in our early 20s and our lives are going to change a lot before more.

2019 was a year of love; the good, the bad, and the bittersweet. 

I started 2019 falling asleep as the fireworks went off. We had gone out for dinner earlier that evening with a friend from work and his missus, to a nice fancy restaurant where desserts are always perfect. I’m not one to go out on New Year’s so I worried that we’d be out long but, fortunately for me, the other couple we’re not up for a long one either so, after dinner, we tried to see if we could grab a couple of drinks in a bar before heading home but, as it was NYE, we had no luck. The other couple went home, we tried a couple more before we gave up and called it a night. 

We were falling asleep when the fireworks went off. In our 20s, supposed to be the prime of your life, and I was cuddled up and happily falling asleep before the new year rang in. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

January meant Hamilton and birthday boardgames and lots of ballroom classes. I think this may have been the year that we also started, or tried to, regularly schedule in time for face masks. 

Then it was suddenly February and I received the best Valentine’s day card in existence, I continued to dance, finally saw a Footlights performance and even caught a show put on by CUMTS. Cirque du Soleil was okay too… 

March was when Amy, Izzy and I decided to start our own tradition, every year, no matter what, we’d get together; us and the boys, with the dogs, or kids or goodness know what else life gives us, we’d meet up. We’d meet up somewhere in the UK for a long weekend, where we’d go for walks and cook dinner, and just overall relax and unwind and catch up with each other. Each year starting that October at the Peak District. 

March was when I forgot my water bottle at our last dance class and we had to turn the car around. March was when I got no sleep and still chose to go to work the next day. 

For the three months we had worked in the new building together we had never bumped into each other in such close proximity, and then, suddenly, there he was coming out of the showers as I tried to find an empty stall to check how I tired I looked. I smiled, I can’t remember if I said anything but my heart dropped. 

March was when I got my promotion and all I wanted to do was tell him. 

I gave him his stuff back and I gave him his birthday present; an embossed leather notebook, dotted not lined, perfect for both writing and drawing, he was a design engineer after all. 

In July he wished me a happy birthday. 

In my head, people judge how much it hurt me when we were only together for nine months. But no one has the right to dictate how you feel.  

Back in January, Hera started sending me dance videos, videos she wanted us to learn for her wedding.

By April, the Kate, Olive, Sam and I were in the full swing of Friday on a Monday: Dance Edition. We’d cook a spicy meals (the spice increased in level as we went along, yoghurt or cream became more for taste than for firefighting) then we’d dance. Every Monday, where possible. Sometimes we’d skype Charley, sometimes Charley would be with us in person. 

As per usual we celebrated birthdays not in the correct months; Kate’s November was in January in form of birthday boardgames, face masks and hand massages by Olive. Charley’s January was in May in Claydon house where we discussed medieval fayres and the Jane Austen festival, where we sat in a private chapel and spoke as we wished until a lady came into actually pray and we tried our best to exit quietly. Sam gave Olive a piggy back in the gardens and there were some happy screaming and laughter. Olive’s March preceded Charley’s as we went to Bath in May and had ourselves our own very luxurious baths. Preceded and proceeded by enough Sally Lunn buns to feed a small army. 

My mum randomly won tickets to Look East festival so Charley and I went on an impromptu trip to London and saw Mumford and Sons live. Next time we’ll be prepared with a picnic blanket and more sunscreen for Charley. Indeed we were more fully prepared a month later for West End Live, armed with a cool bag full of food and drinks. What we weren’t prepared for, though, was the vast amount of people queueing. We knew it was popular and we knew there would be a long queue but we didn’t quite anticipate just how big. Having said that, after we admitted defeat we found a little section to the side of Trafalgar square with deck chairs facing a huge screen live streaming the whole event. We didn’t get seats straightaway but sure enough a family with kids left slightly earlier. Instead of standing under the sun for hours on end, Charley and I sat on our deck chairs in the shade in a lovely June day eating our food and drinking to our heart’s content. We decided that in 2020, we’d just do the exact same. We also come out wanting to watch ever single musical there was. 

Speaking of getting the right picnic spot, we are starting to have this ‘Singing on the river’ thing down; picnic blankets a plenty, napkins, cutleries, takeaway for dinner by the river listening to the wonderful King’s men perform renditions of old and new songs. It’s a Cambridge tradition we just can’t miss. 

We did try to keep up monthly dinners in 2019; we went to Varsity, The Red Lion and Petersfield before we had to suspend the dinners as it was time to fly to Pakistan.

After the vaccinations were done, after the visas were sorted, after all the clothes were bought, after all the make-up and hair trials were done, after all suitcases were packed, after all the dances were mastered (somewhat), after the incredibly long wait to see Hera again it was time to get in the taxi and slowly but surely make our way to the train station. Slowly because we had a flat tyre. But it was going to be faster to get on a slow car than wait for another taxi. 

For months on end, as a group, we all had a phrase “After Pakistan”. The amount of things we said we’d do ‘after Pakistan’ and suddenly we were there. Suddenly it was all gone. 

I’m not sure life kept going after Pakistan, you know. 

And yet it did. I came back to work with my new manager fully into the swing of things, nothing had exploded and everything was still chugging along. Suddenly I was being invited to more meetings and prospects of going business trips became a thing. 

I also started sewing classes, along with Olive and Sarah. I stopped ballroom classes and continued with krav maga. 

In October, Amy and Tom picked me up in Cambridge and we all drove to Bakewell together to meet Izzy and Zack. The weather could have been nicer to us but it was the UK in October, we should have known better. So off we went, in the rain, walking down an old railroad track (we did consider cycling but that got confusing and expensive), climbing hills for loo breaks and risking ankles and necks for a hope of a nice warm lunch only to be disappointed because pubs in the middle of nowhere is far and few in between and only serve food at specified hours. Having walked for hours with a small amount of sustenance we took the taxi home and enjoyed a meal at the apartment instead. 

In November, we flew to Bulgaria and what an experience it was. Beautiful sceneries and definitely a hidden gem, but take it from me, don’t take the jeep up the mountain. Find a different mountain, there’s plenty. Explore the gorgeous towns preserved to their original glory and feel like you’ve been transported back in time. Try the local cuisine! Dress up in traditional Bulgarian outfits, it’ll make a wonderful family photo. 

That same month, Hera visited England again. For a mere few days she stayed in Cambridge and we tried to make the most of it as possible. Butch Annie’s was obviously a requirement. And at last, once again, Kate’s November birthday was celebrated in November. In a once in a lifetime opportunity where all six of us were finally back together again to tackle not one, not two but three escape rooms! We got out of every single one of them. No biggie! But just like that, we were all split up again. 

But no rest for the wicked because the very next day I was off to Austria on a business trip. My first ever business trip. It wasn’t all work and no play, in fact, at one point we were chucked out of the office so we can explore Vienna further so we did. We went to Christmas market after Christmas market and I stocked up on Christmas baubles and Christmas presents. My favourite bauble though? Came from the Bury St Edmunds Christmas Fayre. I’ll be on the look out for you again next year!

Before long it was December. With all the hubub of 2019 and the hubub that 2020 will bring (in form of a NYE party) I decided it was best if we had someone else cook for us for Friends Christmas. Secret Santas were exchanged and extra sticky toffee puddings were ordered, no dishes were cleaned by our hands that evening, 

And then it was time to party. 1920’s themed party to ring in the 2020’s…

When I really think about it 2019 was one helluva year. So much has changed, so much will change. There isn’t one month similar to the one before, it’s terrifying. Growing up is terrifying. Changes are terrifying. 

But we have to bury broken hearts and raise a glass to falling in love, we have to hug memories goodbye and smile at the new ones. We have to accept things won’t be the same but that’s not a bad thing. There are still songs to dance to and movies to cry at, rooms to escape and snacks to share. They’ll always be there no matter what… no matter what 2020 will bring. 

[natural-0-games]

Let The Flames Begin: Tune Tuesday

Alright y’all might have seen that this account’s been starting up for the first time in a while. We’re actually going around and doing stuff, cool. There’s one simple reason for that, and this is me, Lexi, the one behind this whole thing talking: I’ve decided to cut out all the toxic people in my life and extend my vetting for letting new people in. (queue this music because I’m allowed to have musical overlays on my textposts it’s tuesday! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_ohWuaNPWo ) If you’ve been reading my other posts you can probably piece it all together, but in the last 6 months I found myself a decent friend group at college... at least I thought I did. See, originally it was just me and this real chill guy who I won’t say the name of because internet, so I’ll just call him E. E and I met up near the start of the school year because E was just such an approachable person that even I could overcome my big NPC energy to talk to him. We got to talking, and decided it would be cool to start up a club for RPGs at the school, so that players and gamemasters could draw from a pool of people to make sure everyone got the experience they wanted. Then came D (again, not their name because privacy, but also y’know, I can’t resist calling him a D because he’s a d i c k), he was originally pretty chill, but almost immediately he ripped the club idea from my hands and decided all on his own without any input from me or E or anyone else that the club was going to include all tabletop games. Alright not at all what the club was supposed to be about, but okay. So a month rolls by, and D has determined that the club is going to do RPGs at most once a month. You know, the thing we were designed around in the first place, not ‘each campaign once a month’ which I could vaguely see to prevent burnout but nah, nah he means ‘one official club campaign session spread across all campaigns per month’. What. The. Fuck. Then it’s October, and I’ve got this cool idea, reverse trick-or-treating, you know that thing where you go door to door and give people candy? It was gonna be nice, and cool, and I told the whole friend-group about it at the start of October. Other shit happened in October regarding people I look up to and the discontinuation of my absolute favorite show, so there’s that. But the important thing to this post happened on Halloween, that day when they all said they’d join me going around giving people candy, and we’d all have a good time. I’d arranged it for six... six rolls around, no one’s there. I check the group discord, and I’m like ‘hey, where is everybody?’ only response is from E, saying that most people are at dinner and we should probably reschedule to later. I reply that it’s understandable and rearrange for 8. I get a message from B (only time she’s mentioned) saying she’ll be able to show up for sure. No one showed up. Only one person at 10 who came to console me because I kinda exploded in the discord server because I’d been planning this all month and no one fucking showed up. Yeah I cried myself to sleep that night, don’t judge. So now it’s November, and I finally put into action a plan I’d wanted to work on since the start of college: A larp league at the school, only problem is I’m going to have to craft the system from nothing. Alright, I’ve got inspiration from said favorite show ever that was cancelled in october, I’m going to base it around that. I then tell everyone in the friend group and they encourage me, I tell them I’ll be running a christmas event after thanksgiving break, they say that’s awesome. That’s when I realized I’m going to need to make over 1200 abilities because each of the 40 classes needs 33 abilities. I asked them for any suggestions, got a grand total of 0. So I worked my ass off, far more than is healthy, and got... absolutely nowhere because there was no chance in the first place. Right before thanksgiving break I tell them ‘hey, there’s no chance of me finishing the whole system in time, we’ll use a simplified edition i’ll come up with now’ they gave approval. I made a whole mini-system on 3 hours of sleep. I went home for thanksgiving break and caused my whole family extra stress during their move by needing to make swords for this event. So the day of the event rolls around, I’ve got everything set up, I’m out of the field, waiting. The event starts at 11, and that’s when i get there. No one’s there. ‘That’s okay’ I figure, ‘they’re not exactly punctual, they’ll be here in 15-20 minutes’. They are not. At 11:30, E shows up, I ask him where the fuck everyone is. Turns out B is still asleep despite giving me confirmation she’d be here last night, D and the rest of the group are at breakfast and have no intention of showing up despite being 25 seconds away, and E doesn’t see anything wrong with this. I waited until noon, still no one, so I gave up and headed back to my dorm, I’d informed them on the discord that if no one showed up by noon I’d cancel. And I fucking seethed. These people didn’t give a single fuck about me, or my time, or my effort. And after a few hours of calming down, past the tears, past the attempts at breaking things, I got onto the discord server, and I told them, in no indirect terms, that repeatedly encouraging people to devote time and effort to projects for the group, to get them excited for their events, to say that you’ll be there, and then all ghost without a word was absolutely abusive and I didn’t want that in my life. Instead of even a single attempt at an apology, or even a bullshit excuse, they all started yelling at me and kicked me from the server, the club, and the friendgroup. So that’s where I am. I don’t give a single fuck about people who disrespect my time. I don’t give a single fuck about people who think that just because someone has bigger problems than me my problems don’t exist. I don’t give a single fuck about people who bail on plans without a warning or remorse. And I feel so free. So I’m turning all the effort on projects I was making for those toxic assholes inward, I’m making the shit I love, and if you don’t enjoy it, you don’t have to be around me or use my stuff. Sure the first few apprentice games and such will be free, and the proof-of-concept for anything will be free, but if I’ve put in serious effort? If i’ve put in 150 hours already (like on a certain larp system...) and it’s not even a tenth of the way done? You bet your left buttock that I’m not giving that away for free. If I’m going to make something I want to get something out of it. So there’s that. And just because I know I need help here, I do have some open positions: Sabrina needs a pilot, and that’s the fancy lore way of saying I desperately need an artist, because my art is shit and while I have no idea how to make UI-interactive games, I’m going to try my best to learn. Elluwen needs a pilot, and that’s still a fancy way of saying I need playtesters. I’ve been relying on my friend groups too much for this, posting a message about this new game I’ve got that’s nearly done, and waiting 2 weeks to get a single person to even try to play it. Meanwhile I’m playing it repeatedly to try to find bugs and their version is almost completely replaced. and several more... honestly to just put it clearly: I need reliable people in my life, and if that means setting up a patreon for people to see sneak peaks and be playtesters through, wonderful! If I can find an artist willing to be on call for my projects, and of course still pursue their own endeavors, I can’t afford a full-time artist, that’s amazing.

I know what you’re here for, at least on tuesday, you want the shitposts, I’ve still got those, but everything above is far more important.

This week’s themesong: Let The Flames Begin This week’s cryptic meme: Slowly ripping the limbs off an effigy This week’s mood: Focused Anger This week’s character: Lokeeda

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, CHARLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of GONERIL. Admin Jen: You have no idea how happy we are that you’ll be bringing us Verona’s favorite firebrand, Charlie! Like you pointed out, it’s easy to write Grace off as just that -- a whirlwind of chaos and spite with nothing more to her other than that, but you’ve definitely succeeded in bringing her out of the shadow of that impression and exploring everything else that makes her shine. There is so much more to her than meets the eye, and your diligence and care when it comes to portraying that left us completely thrilled to have her flourish in your hands. We’re so glad to have you back, and we can’t wait to see what more you have in store for Grace! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Charlie

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | 5-6/10. I’m a law student and working 20 hours per week. So it’s safe to say that my rl can be pretty stressful. In addition, I like to take my time with my replies so that I can actually be satisfied with how they turned out. I’ve found in the past that it’s the easiest and most efficient for me to do replies as inspiration strikes and queue them to post every 2-3 days which I plan to do as well. However, I’m available every day almost all day long on Tumblr and Discord to chat and plot. 

Timezone | CET

How did you find the rp?  | Originally, through Jen, but this time because I’ve been a part of the group before.

Current/Past RP Accounts | may I introduce you to  https://ofbellos.tumblr.com/ and https://ofdupont.tumblr.com/

IN CHARACTER

Character | Grace Daly aka Goneril. 

What drew you to this character? | Goneril is a character I’ve been intrigued by ever since I first stumbled across the rp. Back then, she was still a taken character so I’ve never really bothered thinking about whether I’d apply for her or not and when she was reopened, I had my fair share of characters that were keeping me busy. 

Somehow this fascination I have with her has never fully gone away, though. There’s something about her, her passion, her fierceness, how unwilling she is to be anybody but herself (and to hell with everybody who has a problem with that, quite literally, you'll probably end up dead if you insult her) that just really intrigues me. I feel like it’s easy to assume that Grace is downright crazy or doesn’t think at all about the consequences her actions might have, that she might not even have the mental capability of doing so. But while she’s definitely lead by her emotions and doesn’t fully know how to control her temper (and mostly doesn’t even want to), she doesn’t act without thinking about the consequences beforehand, very often, she acts a certain way despite having thought about it before. The ‘problem’ is that, in most cases, she simply doesn’t give a damn. She lives to provoke, to toy with the line of right and wrong and to run right through the wall that exists on that line for most people simply because she enjoys it. A part of her is eager to see just how far she can go simply because the search excites her. It’s most of the time not really about the other person (except for the times somebody managed to piss her off, which, admittedly, is not the hardest thing to do) but mostly about herself and what she wants to do. Everything else is secondary.  And quite frankly, there’s nothing that she hates more than being bored. She lives for the thrill, be it the thrill caused by a good old bar fight, killing somebody with your bare hands, a steaming hot fuck or a simple argument. And the power of winning the things listed before. In some way, everything’s a fight for her and the big thrill of life is in that fight and winning it. After all, Grace Daly is nothing if not a winner. Losing isn’t an option. However, despite what you might think at the first (or even second) glance, she’s not just all fun and games. There’s this blazing hot desire burning inside her to conquer and rule her own kingdom. I’m gonna stop right here because I’m gonna be exploring this aspect further in the future plot section. However, I definitely see these various facets Grace has to offer that are so unique to her in my eyes and I really want to explore those in greater detail. Grace is bold, loud, unapologetic, reckless and untamable all wrapped up in one fiery ball of chaos and she’s definitely a force to be reckoned with, not just despite but because of how unpredictable she is. It might have not gotten her where she wants to go so far, but that certainly doesn’t mean that there isn’t a certain kind of power in it.

She’s so unlike any other character I’ve ever truly played before and that’s one of the many reasons why I actually thought long and hard about whether to apply for her or not. She’ll be quite the challenge for me, I’m not ashamed to admit that, but part of the reason why I’m still so into rping after all these years is the desire to challenge myself and hopefully become a better writer in the end. Grace Daly will without a hint of a doubt be a challenge for me, but I’m so ready for that. Also, her uniqueness compared to other characters I’ve played - even characters I’ve already written here in DV - makes it possible for me to explore other plots, connections, and interactions I haven’t gotten to explore before which really excited me as well.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? | 

I’ve added some future plot points that are more ideas than already thought out plots which I’ve called ‘ideas’ instead of ‘plots’. For a better understanding and cohesiveness, I’ve mixed them together so that they fit contentwise, I hope it isn’t too confusing. If it is, I want to apologize in advance. 

PLOT 01

The Daly Sisters own a huge space of my heart when it comes to this rp. There dynamic is so unlike any other in the rp and, quite frankly, I cannot wait to sink my claws into that. I’d really love a family face-off, especially between Regina and Grace. After all, one of the reasons why Grace joined the Montagues in the first place - even if she’d never admit it out loud - is the fact that little, boring Regina got promoted to Captain by Cosimo after spending only a blink of an eye with the Capulets. She never earned her name the way Grace did, she did nothing to deserve it. And you can be dead sure that once word got out that Regina has been promoted to the position of a hitman - and sooner or later Grace would have found out, nothing stays secret in Verona forever -, she’d have been fuming. It’s just another promotion she doesn’t deserve. And here Grace is working her ass off - Grace Daly style, obviously - and has nothing to see for it. Actually, fuming would be a nice word. So yeah, I feel like a sisterly confrontation is overdue in Grace’s eyes. If you can’t ignore an annoying bug, you have to squash it to finally get rid of it. And Regina Daly is a bug Grace has been dying to step on for quite some while now. She tried to ignore her when she was younger, forget all about her existence in the first place, but apparently, that’s not an option anymore. So yes, I can totally see a sisterly face-off happen in the near future because sneaky scheming and planning to get rid of somebody isn’t really Grace’s style. She tends to rely on sheer brutality and cruelty and wouldn’t it be quite poetic to have one last fight to finally set an end to this argument (idk if you can even call it that cause I’m pretty sure Regina doesn’t give a damn about Grace)? Grace at least would love the poetry of it.

IDEA 01

This idea is related to the first plot in some way. It’s pretty established in her bio that Grace has never been willing to give her two younger sisters the time of day and would like to forget that she’s ever shared a home, not to mention blood ties with them. However, I want to explore just how deep this disinterest goes. I know for a fact that she wouldn’t shy away from killing Regina in cold blood. However, what about Catherine? Is there some small inkling in the dark hole that is her heart that does care for her? I’m not sure, but I want to find out. At the same time, I also want to explore if there’s actually a person (apart from herself) that she cares for or rather cares enough about enough to sacrifice? I don’t know if there’s a positive answer to that question, even though Grace is only human, after all, and it’s in the human nature to want to be connected to other people, but I just want to explore this question further.  

IDEA 02

If I cannot bend Heaven, I’ll raise Hell. Even though you wouldn’t necessarily suspect it, Grace is ambitious as they come. Blame it on her parents for always treasuring her like grace from God, telling her she can everything she sets her dark eyes on, but she’s always known that she’ll be a queen an empress one day. And she won’t stop at anything to get her way. So far, she’s had very little success, though. After all, despite having been involved with the mob for years now, she’s still nothing more than a soldier, a little pawn in the game of others.  While I’m not sure if she’d make a good ruler (in fact, I know the opposite is the case), she’s definitely a conqueror. Or has the potential to be once she figures out how to make the best use of the anger, passion, and fire that runs through her veins. She’s smart enough to figure it out. After all, as it’s already said in her bio “Every move she made was calculated, every strike meticulously aimed”. She definitely has the mental capacities for it. I think her biggest problem is that she needs to learn how to control her emotions and not have them influence her moves and the goal of her plans as they do now. However, learning is hard (read: almost impossible) when you’re as self-conceited as Grace is. I want to explore that struggle further, this dissonance of ambition & desire and her temper & boisterousness. 

PLOT 02 a

This plot is related to the second idea. 

If you can’t learn how to balance out your own strengths, you either need to accept that you might never reach your goal or team up with somebody who can provide what you’re lacking. The first one is clearly no option and the second one is not exactly the first thing that comes to your mind considering we’re talking about Grace either. After all, Grace isn’t really much of a team player either for she’s too selfish for that, not to mention too unpredictable, unreliable and many other things. However, I want her to seak out a partnership nonetheless. This is not to say that she’ll suddenly turn into a team-player or people person all of a sudden - hell no. No, it’d be a play really. It’d mostly be an idea born out of an alcoholic haze, nothing that serious at first. It’d be with somebody, who’s about just as desperate as she is to get to the top, and a partnership that is already doomed for a start because she plans to get rid of them as soon as the situation improves for her. She sure as hell doesn’t plan for one second to share the spotlight, they’ll just be a tool in some way. Not because she’d be manipulating them into thinking that she sees it as a real partnership, she’s no schemer, after all. No, they’d get into this with both eyes open and be ambitious enough to do it nonetheless, probably even thinking to cut her loose the first chance they get as well.  

PLOT 02 b

As it’s kind of a second part of the second plot, I wanted to split those up.

I could totally see the previously mentioned partnership turn into something of a cat and mouse kinda game. It’d actually be quite intriguing to see somebody to challenge her directly and on a personal level for a change because while the whole thing would still be somewhat mob-related, it’d be more focused on the power they’ve gathered together and that both of them wants the biggest piece of. Or rather the only piece without having to share it with the other person. It’d need to be somebody who’d be her equal, who could handle themselves around her, but then again, if they couldn’t, this partnership would have never seen the light of day in the first place. I want Grace to face a challenge/challenger she can’t get rid of that easily. I want her having to face them again and again, simply because they’re both too stubborn to die and to give up what they’ve earned. 

PLOT 03

This plot goes a little hand in hand with the previous plot, but I felt it still deserved a plot point on it’s own as it’s related to her connection with Ivan Rahal in particular.

Whereas Grace is chaos come to live and craves power above all, Ivan is a master chess player who craves chaos and destruction above all. It’s an unlike combination and yet one, that causes fear and terror among Verona’s citizens unlike any other for their united in their darkness and their thirst for blood. I feel like there’s so much Grace could learn from him and his talent for strategy. She wouldn’t ever ask for help nor would she want to change, after all, she’s perfect the way she is. Nonetheless, I want her to observe Ivan more closely, to study the way he thinks and does things, to get a feel for how he operates. I highly doubt she’d be able to employ these tactics for her own goals simply because she’s disciplined enough for that, but I feel like it’d be a valuable lesson for her nonetheless? 

PLOT 04

I feel like it’s only a question until her treacherous past truly catches up to her. After all, so far, she’s gotten away with turning her back on the Capulets to join the enemy’s ranks pretty easily. I mean she’s still alive and relatively unharmed which is more than most people could say in the same situation. Of course, she’s under the Montagues’ protection, but even that doesn’t have the same weight in every part of Verona. Knowing Grace’s recklessness and her tendency to live dangerously, she doesn’t shy away from Capulet territory. Probably even provokes them when she feels like it simply because she can (and because it makes her feel powerful). So it’s only a question of time until she gets into a situation where she has to pay for what she’s done. Unlike Grace, I’m not narcissistic enough to assume that she’s the Capulets’ main agenda, however, especially in combination with the connection with Vivianne provided in her bio (so I could def see Vivianne playing a role in that one way or another, maybe even assigning somebody to take care of her? Maybe even Regina which would kind of fit together nicely with Plot 01), I do think that this is still a topic worth exploring. After all, the Capulets won’t just forgive and forget. 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Yes. With her recklessness and ability to piss off the people around her, I feel like it’s only a question of time until Grace is killed, not a question of if. 

IN DEPTH.

mentions of graphic violence tw

Carelessly she flicks the cigarette against her chair, her lips curled up into an amused smirk and her long legs draped on the table in front of her. Grace Daly has never been one to give a damn about the rules of properness and she sure as isn’t going to start now just because everybody around her does it. Just because, apparently, there some things you simply “have” to do, especially when being in a lion’s den. Idioti. No, following the rules is something reserved for sheep, people who aren’t bold enough to make decisions for themselves. And Grace Daly is most certainly not a sheep nor is she scared of anything or anybody. Fear? She laughs in the face of fear. It’s not like she’s stupid. Even though it doesn’t look like it, she’s perfectly aware of how dangerous this situation can be for her. How she might not make it out of here alive. The sheer thrill of it causes the adrenalin to rush through her veins, the smirk on her lips to grow just a little more intense. Other people might sit on the edge of their seats, all fidgety and nervous. Not just because of the fact that she’s currently meeting who’s supposed to enemy nr. one, but also because this meeting alone is enough to paint her as a traitor in the eyes of some people. But not Grace. Oh hell no. No, it takes more to get under her skin. Besides, it’s not like she asked for this meeting. No, Damiano Montague reached out to her, invited her. And well, who was she to refuse, even if meeting with him for any other reason to put a bullet between his eyes might be enough reason to some to try put a bullet between her eyes? Turning down the invitation would have been plain stupid. However, not for the reason most people might believe. No, it wasn’t fear that made her accept the invitation, It was sheer ambition. Fuck rules of decency and properness, fuck the rules of the mob if they’re getting in the way of what she wants. After all, when has she ever not taken what she wanted the instant she wanted it, no matter what it takes? Her teeth and ambitions are bared now more than ever, after having her potential ignored in favor of her younger, colorless sister. If it takes a swim to the other side, to change that situation, it’d be stupid to turn down the opportunity. 

Her head slightly tilted to the right, her dark eyes are focused on the man in front of her, eying him attentively. It’s quite ironic really how he looks nothing like Cosimo Capulet and exactly like him at the same time. There’s this air of confidence - arrogance really - surrounding him, the charisma of somebody who’s used to getting what he wants, who’s demanding it really. It takes only one look at him to know he doesn’t take well to being turned down. Not that she gives a damn. If he doesn’t offer her a deal she’s interested tonight, Grace won’t feel obligated in any way. Hell, if things don’t go the way she wants (and quite frankly, expects) them to, she might just try to ram or throw the knife she always has with her, hidden in her left boot, into his trachea. If she returns to the other side of the Adige with Damiano Montague’s blood on her hands - literally -, they just have to promote her to Captain at least. Better even, kiss her ass for quite some while. The smirk already gracing her lips grows just a little bit bigger at the thought of his face slowly losing all its color, the desperate death rattle of a dying man, maybe even some pleas for mercy. Somehow this turn of events would be almost just as nice as what she actually came here to do. So whatever is going to happen next, she knows she’ll come out of this little meeting with one sort of advantage in her hands. So much for Grace Daly being incapable of having a plan b.

Without taking her eyes of the mob boss in front of her - direct eye contact is important, after all, to assert dominance and to show that she isn’t the slightest bit afraid of him-, she stubs the cigarette on the wooden table, not giving a damn whether it’d leave a burn mark or not. After all, it’s not her table, is it? “Va bene, vecchio mio, how about you go ahead and make your offer?”, she says, her lips curled into a wolfish grin, “I don’t have all day, after all. Got some disloyal couriers I need to care of.”  Oh, the irony talking about disloyalty and treachery while she’s currently committing treason herself. It’s not wasted on her, that’s for sure, quite the opposite, really, it’s highly appreciated. The thought that the Capulets have no idea what might be coming for them, made this little meeting all so sweeter. Would serve them right for ignoring her potential.

___

murder tw

Leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed before her chest, she just stands there for a moment, her eyes focused on Ivan, the corners of her mouth curled up into a lazy half-smirk. “Looks like you have the luck of having the best partner possible today”, she says as she pushes herself away from the frame and heads towards him. From everybody else, these words would have been meant as a joke and yet, even though there’s a slightly amused, teasing intonation to them, she��s dead honest. She might not have been a part of the Capulets for as long as other members, but Grace still knows she’s better than a lot of them. At his slightly amused “and I assume that special one is supposed to be you”, she gives him a little smirk and shrugs her shoulders just slightly. “What can I say? It’s not arrogant if it’s true.” Not that she’d care either way. Caring about what other people think of you is something reserved for pathetic people who aren’t sure of themselves. And she most certainly doesn’t belong in that category. “Sei pronto?” The little smirk still present on her lips, she puts the hand on the gun on her left hip. As a little extra backup, there’s a knife safely stored in the right back pocket of her jeans, hidden by her leather jacket. “Sí.” She’s ready in every possible meaning, eager to, hopefully, get her hands on some real action. Sure, this mission isn’t supposed to turn violent. It’s only planned as some sort of check-up meets interrogation to find out if the rumors are true and they’ve really gone behind their back and are dealing with the enemy. But then again, you could never know how they’d react to this checkup, right? And a girl could still hope, after all. 

Slowly but self-assured they head straight towards the building that, their silhouettes one with the shadows of the containers. Every now and signal horns of approaching container ships disturb the silence, but apart from that, there’s complete silence. It’s quite peaceful, actually, she can’t help but notice and at the irony, the hint of a smile sneaks onto her lips. It’s so peaceful that nobody would expect the attack that is going to happen within a few minutes. Which, frankly, makes it even more fun. There’s nothing quite like taking something wholesome and peaceful and turning it upside down. Judging from the information they got, it’s gonna be a relatively easy job from the information they got. Three people top, most likely only lightly armed. They aren’t expecting an interrogation not to mention an attack any time soon, it’ll be like taking candy from a child.

After exchanging another glance with Ivan, she kicks the door open. “Ciao, stronzi.”Charming as ever, she flashes a wolfish grin at them. If they wanted somebody who’s all polite and diplomatic, they wouldn’t have paired Ivan up with her and so she sees no need to be anybody but her usual, charming self. However, for now, she lets Ivan take charge of the conversation. It’s more his style anyway. She prefers to stand there leaning against the door - these fuckers better don’t assume they could get past her - and casually playing with her knife as not that subtle thread while she attentively observes the interaction, ready to jump into action at any howsoever small, wrong movement. 

It doesn’t take long, only a few questions to realize that their source was right, these bastardi are trying to cheat them out of their profit. They realize almost as quickly that their cover has blown as Ivan and she do and pull their guns. Too bad it’s only almost. Without thinking about twice, Grace throws her knife, aiming right at the left guy’s forehead. Ivan reacts just as quickly, taking out the other guy with one unerring shot. Everything happened so quickly, that it takes her a moment to fully process what just happened. Completely collected on the outside, she stares at the dead body in front of her with some morbid curiosity. Even though she’s already seen her fair share of dead bodies ever since having joined the Capulets, it’s the first time she’s responsible for one. It’s an intriguing feeling, really. A part of her is well aware of she should feel at least some sort of regret or guilt. And yet, there’s nothing of that crap on her mind. The only thing she feels is excitement and satisfaction. It felt good to bury that knife between his eyes before he could even fully realize what was about to happen, it still does, to be honest. Slowly she steps closer to the corpse and pulls the knife out of it without flinching. She’s never been afraid of blood and she most certainly isn’t going to start that now. If anything there’s something quite satisfying about seeing your work in all its unholy glory. Is this what it feels like to be God? This rush of power of having just ended one life simply because you chose to do so? For a moment longer, her eyes are focused on the body, eying it almost thoughtfully, before she turns back around to Ivan. “Well, this didn’t exactly turn out as planned”, she says, the hint of a smile in the corners of her mouth betraying her words. “Too bad we didn’t get to question them further before blowing their brains out, though. The info whether they decided to cheat on us all of a sudden on their own or were instigated by somebody else wouldn’t have been the worst to have.” It’s not like she particularly cares about the answer, what this answer could have gotten her recognition wise is the much more interesting question. Ah well, what’s done is done. She shrugs slightly as she wipes the blood of the knife on her jeans before putting it back into the back pocket. “Let’s go check out if we can find some more information on what these idiots were up to. Maybe they were stupid enough to store some important documents here that give us a better idea of how far this whole little boycott goes and if other business partners of us are involved.” Eliminating two traitors might be useful and a nice accomplishment, but it’s not enough for her. No, she seeks something more impressive to bring back to the headquarters. After all ‘nice’ accomplishments, didn’t exactly allow you to climb higher on the mob’s hierarchy, won’t get her the recognition she deserves and craves.

___

 Everett Craven - Emissary. Easton Craven - Captain. And darling Regina promoted as well.  Even hours later, her fingers grab the glass of Scotch in her hands more firmly, the knuckles from the pressure she exerts, the rest of her body just as tense. Honestly, if this was one big fucking joke it wasn’t remotely funny. And despite her rather unique, wicked sense of humor she could usually see a joke for what it is. Although it had to be one - it’d be the only explanation that made some sort of sense -, she knows it’s not. It’s the fucking reality that everybody, who so much as breaths, gets a fucking promotion. Hell, even on the Montague side, promotions are a dime a dozen and everybody gets one. A dry, sarcastic laugh dies in her throat before she can get it out. Everybody but her that is. It seems like no matter what she does, it’s just not good enough. Like she’s nothing but a slightly tamed but rabid dog you can’t fully control but the perfect tool for threatening and intimidating your enemies. The one you send out to do all the dirty, bloody, disgusting work nobody else is willing to get their hands dirty on. She takes a sip of her drink, the burning sensation of the liquor running down her throat is a welcome distraction and yet, it isn’t nearly enough to burn away the frustration. And she does what they want like the good dog she, apparently, is. Does jobs nobody else would want to do if they don’t have a choice, just to prove her worth. Follows orders, even though somebody like Henry Zhang - the thought of her Captain is enough to roll her eyes - really couldn’t handle her under any other circumstances. Plays nice with men like Faron Vasilev just to get in his good graces and have him speak out for her. Even now she can still smell his cologne, the air of arrogance and entitlement surrounding men like him. It tastes sour in the back of her mouth, her. Maybe she should have tried sleeping with him while she still had the chance, seemed to have worked out perfectly for that puta Calina, after all. She even plasters a (more or less) friendly smile she plasters on her face every time Damiano walks past her and keeps her mouth shut, even when they talk bullshit. Her stomach twists and turns. They could drop dead this instant for all she cares and yet, she still plays nice. 

And for what? A small part of her mind that is still capable of thinking straight knows that she might just haven’t been a part of the Montagues long enough to earn the position of Captain. Castora has been a Montague for longer than her, it’s true. But Damiano wanted her. With one loud, shrieking noise, a glass breaks into a million shards as Grace throws it against the wall, not giving a damn if its ember content ruins the wall. He invited her personally into the fold and she deigned to accept that invitation. And yet, she’s still left with nothing. Maybe she really should have slit his throat right there during that meeting that promised to be a turning point. Frowning just slightly, her lips curled up into a sneer, the drops of liquor on the wall turning into crimson red bloodstains in her mind. She could have painted the walls red with mighty Damiano’s blood. She should have. That at least ought to have earned her a promotion with the Capulets. And yet, she’d resisted, had believed the stronzo’s golden lies of how they could achieve something great together, of how he could offer her more than Cosimo ever could. She’d known that he couldn’t make her Captain right away, that wasn’t how things worked. Anybody, who’d promoted somebody who’d only just been accepted into the fold (not to mention from the opposing side) was plain stupid, Grace understood that. But hasn’t she waited long enough now? Isn’t it time for her patience and hard work to finally be rewarded? And instead, she simply gets overlooked again. 

It’s not the first time she’s been overlooked, she should be used to it by now. She used to be the center of their parents’ universe, until her younger sisters - it’s an insult really, not a term of endearment -, took it away from her. After all, ever since darling Cat came into the world with her blonde locks and angelic nature, their father would choose the younger over her, dote on her instead of always on her like he used to. Memories of a little Cat, innocence come to life, run through her mind and she scowls. Her sweetness tastes like acid on her tongue, always has. And Regina took away the recognition and respect of the Capulets. The thought of her passionless, disinterested attitude alone is enough for her body to tense up and yearn for something else to punch bloody. How can somebody be so bland and yet so successful? Grace has always been fire and action and still, no matter how intense and destructive her fire, Regina’s hollowness seems to swallow it whole. If she ever felt a small flicker of sisterly love it’s long gone, she should have killed both long ago. Should have drowned them both like you did with unwanted puppies and kittens. Being overlooked is certainly nothing new so she really should be used to it by now. And yet, it hurts all the same, the sting of rejection, of not being good enough or enough, really. Whatever she does, she always gets overlooked for somebody else. For somebody who doesn’t want it nearly as much as she does. Who wouldn’t be as a great fit for the position as she would. She knows she can do better than all of them, why won’t anybody see it? Why won’t anybody see her for the potential that she has to offer?

For a time, it seemed like Damiano Montague saw it, saw her. That he would value her like the Capulets never did. And now she knows how wrong she’s been. Red painted lips twist into a sneer as she forgoes the thought of getting another glass and grabs the bottle instead. One sip, then another. She could empty the whole bottle, drink herself into oblivion and the liquor still couldn’t wash away the all-consuming feeling of humiliation cutting through her intestines like a hot burning iron. How utterly stupid she’d been. If she’s completely honest, it hurts almost just as much as the disappointment and rejection that she’s partially to blame for her misery. She should have been smart enough to see through Damiano’s empty promises. Eyes focused on the wall in front of her, she glares a hole. One rapid breath, another, her body tensing with every single one - then she punches it, only barely noticing the dull pain quickly spreading from the via the arm to her shoulder or the sting of the bloody, torn open knuckles. She should have at least thought in greater detail about how her chances at a promotion, at validation, are, if she stayed with the Capulets. After all, if colorless, hollow Regina managed to get two promotions, it should be out of the question that she would have made it to Captain during that time. She needs to believe she would have. Her stomach slumps at the mere prospect of not having made the cut either way. No, everything else is unacceptable. And yet, despite priding herself on her cleverness, she allowed herself to be blinded her own and ambition. It’d felt so good to be seen, to have your potential and talent acknowledged, to be recognized for what difference you could make if you changed the teams, that she’d gladly taken the opportunity offered to her on a silver platter. The Capulets never valued her, so why should she burden herself with them if somebody else could offer her the opportunity to finally rise to the station she knows she deserves? Her eyes fixed on the mess she just created - the shards, her bleeding knuckles, the ruined wall - she can’t hold back cynical laughter any longer. It’s too much of a representation of the rest of her life. After all,  as it now turns out, neither do the Montagues really see and value her. She desperately wants to say that it’s their loss, that it’ll be their own ruin. And it probably will be. But if she’s completely honest, right now, it is her loss. She’s the one who has to deal with the humiliation of having switched sides for nothing. To have made a traitor of herself for nothing. To have started again from scratch basically for absolutely nothing. 

Extras:

A Mockblog can be found here. Pls ignore the ugliness, I couldn’t be bothered to make it fancy as I’d only use it to reblog stuff from if I should get accepted anyway.

You can find a pinterest board here.

MB Type: ESTP-A - The Entrepreneur

Eneagram Type: Type 8 - The Challenger (81%)                            Type 3 - The Achiever (61%)

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Evil

The Four Temperaments: Choleric

Archetypes: Rebel (56%) - The Wild Woman, The Criminal & The Rebel                      Explorer (22%) - The Adventurer & The Explorer                      Royal (22%) - The Excecutive, The Bully & The Greenvy