#cause i'm sure whatever i've done for it is on the deleted blog

[smallestapplin]

Thought I wouldn't find out?

This is a commission, so I hope you enjoy the Tom foolery!

🔞it gets suggestive so please no minors!🔞

Modern genshin au.

If you enjoy please consider buying me a coffee!

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Arlecchino, to put it politely, didn't understand the ways of the internet, references to media or slang would go right over her head. She's the boss of a family-run 'company' not that she'd ever tell you what she does, but why should she keep up with these words and how others use the internet?

Though clear to anyone she does not waste her time with such things.

It was late at night when she found it, more accurately, you accidentally sent her a link, one in which she memorized the URL before you could delete it.

But she decided to play.

'Did you send me a message just now?'

'No, I've been busy reading. Maybe your phone is buggy.'

Why lie about it? It's what got her to look it up in the first place, cause why else would her sweet darling lie to her? Whatever the reason, she will be sure to confront you when she gets.....home?...What is she even looking at? Her eyes stare at an oddly colorful page, the words '18+' all over it, and filled with such filth she's almost impressed.

What are these things?

Wait, she knows these names, these are the names of your favorite characters from your games that you've talked her ears off about.

The further down she scrolls the more baffled she becomes, she knew you liked these characters and often gushed about them into the night, but to write such erotica about them? How in these 'authors notes' you speak of how much you wanted them to ruin you, and agreeing with these 'anons' of yours.

So this is what you've been hiding from her, this blog is like your own personal info-dumping website. To publicly say such things and have no shame, how cute, it's completely different than how you are at home with her.

How you so shamelessly speak of such filth.

'I'd peg him.'

'How come I am the only person who thinks the Golems are kinda hot-'

'If she needs a pet I'm so down. No, I don't care she's a scary monster, that makes her hotter!'

The further down she goes the worse it all gets.

But oh, she has an idea.

You grow excited as the clock ticks on, as your beloved wife messaged you not long ago she was on her way home. You're waiting at the door, lightly bouncing in place with a smile on your face, it's a rare time she'd be home at a decent hour! Dinner was almost done cooking too, oh you'll finally be able to enjoy your time together.

The door opens, accompanied by the familiar sound of heels clicking against the hardwood floor. You rush forward, wrapping your arms around her neck and kissing her cheek.

"Welcome home, my love. How was work today?"

Arlecchino mutely sighs as she slowly slides her arms around you, loosely hanging off your hips.

"Work was fine. However, the children have been sent off on a large mission, and won't be back for a few days. Regrettably, I had orders from Pierro to send them off. But that's all you get to know. How was your day? Surely you didn't miss me too much."

Her unchanging tone still doesn't fail to make you grow bashful.

"I always miss, our bed is so cold without you. But my day has been fine, I've mostly just been cleaning and reading. Oh! I have dinner cooking so-"

"Oh, is that all? I could've sworn your day had something to do with some monster woman."

You freeze, eyes widening at her words.

Did she...? No, no she couldn't possibly, you deleted it before she even opened her messages.

"Or perhaps that 'twink' you've been obsessing with? Oh, what was it again? Something about wanting to peg his boy cervix?"

You're recoiling, not only from hearing your posts being read back to you from her memory, but just hearing her of all people say these things with a stone-cold expression, and in a strict professional voice.

"Ok ok! Just please stop, I didn't mean to send that to you!"

"Could've fooled me, Dear. Now, explain yourself."

Arlecchino slides one hand up your back under your shirt, her nails lightly digging into your skin as she awaits an answer from you.

"I-I've always had that blog, I just- you aren't interested in hearing about my love for some characters at least as intensely as I post, so it's like an outlet for me."

You sweat under her scrutinizing gaze, her dark eyes staring into your soul to test your strength to not crumble. You felt like you could breathe again once she closed her eyes with a hum, clearly satisfied with your answer.

"Hm, good little pet."

It's cute how you seemingly melt under her praise, though it's swiftly cut short as she picks you up, carrying you towards the large windows at the front of the house, shoving your chest first into the glass.

"H-hey wait! What are you doing!?"

She leans close, her chest against your back as she lets her breath fan across the back of your neck.

"My, and I thought you liked this sort of thing? Don't tell me some of those posts were just for show. Don't tell me you aren't into the idea of my taking you here for anyone to see."

The only people who'd potentially see would be any grunt working under her, or her coworkers, both of which would be so embarrassing.

......though you don't condone half of what you write, maybe just this once?

[yooniesim]

any suggestions for becoming a sims based blog? I used to do it back in the hayday of sims 3 but it's been YEARS and I still absolutely love making sims, but I'm too shy and nervous to interact with the community ;;;

hi nonny! this is a complicated question that I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask lol but let me try it out. I think I'm gonna separate it into two parts for ease of reading. And sorry if it's a bit more cynical than you probably expected. I've just learned a lot i wish I had done from the start, lol. So here we go.

Sims content

Post whatever tf you feel like. If you love making sims, post the hell outta them and don't worry about what anyone thinks. There's no one perfect type of content to appeal to everyone; the community is made up of a million smaller niche ones. Editors, sim makers, gameplayers, storytellers, cc makers, etc. If you're passionate about it, you'll find people that love your posts. So don't worry too much.

Don't get too hung up on editing, if you want your pics to look "better" then use gshade/reshade and/or simple psd actions to your liking. Don't let it get stressful cos it ain't worth it. If you don't enjoy editing, don't do it at all. (I wrote more about how I edit & make it easier in this post)

Try your very best not to worry about notes. I know it's hard. Everyone wants their stuff to be seen, but when it comes to engagement on here, you're aiming for quality over quantity. A few awesome mutuals commenting on your stuff is way better than 600 silent likes. Also, having more attention sucks bc it brings the vile swamp rats out of their holes to see what shit they can stir up. The brief serotonins aint worth it. Just aim to find a few cool ppl to talk about your sims with cos thats all that matters.

If you want, find bachelor/ette or similar challenges ppl are doing and submit sims for them. And once you get some mutuals/followers, open sim requests so you can make sims for people. It's super fun and awesome to see your sims in other people's games! And you don't have to talk too much if you don't feel like it, but it's an easy way to get involved with others.

Social stuff & safety

Comment on peoples posts often if you like them. Engage with ppl. Reblog posts you see you like but don't really have any reblogs. I know you said you're shy but, this is most of the way to actual have mutuals that enjoy talking to you and comment on your stuff as well. You can just not talk if you want but it'll make it harder to have any engagement unless you're really good at edits or cc making.

Don't get involved with drama/discourse, it means nothing and amounts to nothing. If you're going to boost someone else's post, look into it first and look for evidence that it's even true before you reblog. If people hate on you in your inbox, block the anon and don't respond even to laugh at them. Block anyone that gives you bad vibes. They look at you funny, breathe wrong, use a color you don't like. Block. If anyone tries to start shit with you, block & completely ignore them & don't comment on it. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it, and people will move on if you ignore them.

Don't reveal any personal info about yourself on here or to anyone in DMs. Don't use your real name. Don't have anything connected to your other socials. Don't trust anyone on here with your vulnerable emotions, past trauma, etc. And don't say anything in DM you wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone else on the internet potentially seeing.

If you pledge to people on patreon, be aware that your email will show up on their end when you do. Dont use your real name as your patreon username.

If simblr is causing you stress, you feel like your mental health is suffering, take breaks. Log off or delete the app for a while.

And... I think that's all I can think of for now. If there's anything else detailed you wanna ask about feel free. But these are just my general thoughts. Good luck, nonny :)

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Updates and Announcements

Wow I haven't done one of these in a while so I think it might be best to do one, right?

First and foremost, welcome to the new followers! I haven't had a chance to welcome you guys in some time. But I appreciate you being here! I hope that whatever it was that helped you to decide that I was worth following continues to happen!

Lets talk about a few things. Remember when I said I was going to move all of my 18+ work over to an after dark page? Well that happened forever ago and I NEVER posted on it again. I made pretty banners and everything for my masterlist and nothing came from it. SO after thinking long and hard about it, I will be deleting that blog altogether and moving everything back over here.

But Dom, what about the Minors that follow you? You see, I thought about it. I thought about just deleting the few fics I have and just moving on, but that feels like a lot like book burning and I'd rather not. So while I can put up several warnings and tag the living crap out of that fic, I can't stop them from ignoring all that.

But to ease my conscious a bit, here are some tags that I'll be using for all things of age. #babies not included #18+ #Dom's trash If you are currently under age, I'd greatly appreciate you adding these to your filters! Thanks!

With that being said, fics like Business or Pleasure and What the Future Holds will be added to the Masterlist here. BoP was simply linked to the afterdark page and thankfully I don't have to repost that. Cause I would absolutely hate to lose all those notes. What the Future Holds will need to be reposted since I'll be deleting the blog it's currently attached to.

I'll be adding a legend to my masterlists. That way it's a little easier to figure out what's what before clicking on them. I used to do this in the very beginning but somehow managed to stop. So that will be starting back up again.

Let's talk fics, next! In case you haven't noticed, some fics have a '-discontinued-' notice right next to it. For the time being, I will NOT be completing those fics. Its not that I don't want to finish them-especially with some close to the end-its just i have no motivation to finish them. Maybe one day I will come back to them. ALSO! SEQUELS! Many requests and comments have been about sequels. Second parts don't always get the same attention as the first. I've been so grateful that Phantom has been getting as much interaction as it has been. But that's because of all of the interactions it had been getting. So what I'm getting at is that I won't be continuing a fic if the interaction is low on it. I'm always happy to make a second part of something, so long as its getting notes. So be sure to interact with your favorites if you want to see it get a second part to it.

Interest Posts will be happening at some point again. I of course want you guys to be enjoying the things I post. I know there has been some notice that I've fully been focusing on Phantom a lot more than anything else. It honestly goes back to the interaction it is getting that is fueling my writing muse for it. So again, be sure to interact with the fics you like.

Remember These Violent Delights? As much as I loved Adriana, she didn't seem to be accepted here on tumblr like I hoped she would and I had eventually taken down that series. So now I wanna give that series another shot as a reader insert. I've been working on it a bit behind the scenes and I hope that this fic will have a better comeback as a reader insert than an OC. Posting dates for that will come soon!

Requests are OPEN! So send in those requests! Incase you need a reminder on who and what I write for, here is a quick list!

Fandoms: The Vampire Diaries Universe Marvel Cinematic Universe

Characters I write for: Elijah Mikaelson * Klaus Mikaelson Kol Mikaelson Damon Salvatore Jackson Kenner Tony Stark Loki Steve Rogers Bucky Barnes* I can write for others if the inspiration is there as well! *Indicates most read/requested fics, along with a larger quantity of fics available to read

I believe that is all I have for now. If you stuck around this long, Thank you so much for doing so and I look forward to interacting more with you guys!

[itsohh]

Hello! I hope you are doing well! When you first started writing here on Tumblr, did you hesitate or were nervous and if so how did you deal with it? Or did you just power through it and fuck it I'm putting my writing out there and I don't care what people say?

Long story short I'm really wanting to write on here just to do something different but I'm hella nervous and just wanted an opinion. Because I really love R6 but I have a very hard time getting out of my shell. Obviously you don't have to answer if you are uncomfortable! Till then I can't wait for your next post! 😊

hmmm I think way back when I first started writing I was a lot more care free at the time back when I was like 13.

I don't think I was ever focused on like anyone hating it or anything like that. Like I've legit never got hate for writing in all the years I've done it. Either people will hit the like button or they wont. Back then I was writing for like supernatural and marvel then eventually overwatch and a bit of Sherlock. In the case of I guess it was 'whats the worst that will happen' in all reality most of the time people who don't like x reader have the tag blocked and so only people who like said thing will find it (so long as u tag correctly)

I've sorta just got to the stage where posting doesn't really phase me in nervousness or anything, like sure for somethings I lose interest or motivation at times but when I started posting I didn't really get any like feedback at all? Like it was very rare I would get anything that wasn't a like or a reblog and requests didn't happen much. I think the fact that Tumblr is so anonymous really helps, like its almost a mask. No one actually knows who I am, worst comes to worst I can legit just delete the blog and start anew.

I think also fandom size is a huge thing, is reconising your audience, there's no point comparing like notes to another fandom cause honestly it just reflects how popular said thing is. After I realised that I sorta don't worry anymore? I used to freak out a bit about people not liking my posts but now I'm just like 'eh R6S is tiny' and it is.

Honestly yeah so long as you tag correctly you should be alg. In the R6S fandom at leat people are pretty chill. (Idk there's some hate to oc's or something but as long as u don't tag as x reader u should be alg)

Anyway I'm rambling a lot but honestly yeah just go for it hun, upload. Nothing bad will happen, might feel a bit anxious or whatever but its like, yeah. You feel me? that being said if your going to write please remember capitals and new speaker new line theses are so important, as someone who breaks a lot of grammar rules those two shouldn't be broken in writing. I know a lot of people aren't a fan of first person so if you do write first person your audience would be smaller than per say second or first

Some people may have different ideas or interpretations of character but I feel as a tumblr collective (speshly this fandom) people won't like hate on you for it.

ANYWAY I went off again, yeah give it a go. eventually you will get used to it and it will become a second habit to upload, frankly so long as you ultimately always write for your enjoyment your always good. uploading writing is pretty much like the same as watching a movie with a friend id say, or like running a dnd campaign sorta vibes. kinda. but yeah just hit that post button and off u go. I guess yeah just power through it, hitting post the first time is def the hardest and you just gotta rip that bad boy off.

[solradguy]

I have sent many asks to you before filled with honest yet corny-as-hell sentimental bullshit about how much your blog, and you by extension, means to me— even if we don’t even really know each other. But if this isn’t a better time to actually buckle down and give you a proper “thank you,” than I don’t know what is.

I found your blog a while back, sometime early last summer if I remember correctly, through your Guilty Gear scans. It was around the time I first started actively hunting down whatever remnants of a Guilty Gear fandom were scattered across the internet, and luckily I hit the jackpot with Tumblr (amongst other sites.) God bless whatever made you make this blog, cause the things it has done for me since then have been tremendous. From small things like your discussions about music and your random posts about vintage technology that inevitably prompt me to do deep-dives on the subject, or bigger things like your entire translation or scanning projects that open me to an entire new world of Guilty Gear media, your blog has taught me about so many new things that have molded me into the person I am today, and suffice to say, I’m proud of that person. You have introduced me to new singers, bands, books, movies, games, shows; so many goddamn things and the majority of them have turned out to be things I simply enamor. Beyond that, your art has helped me improve on my own art and has inspired me to make so much more work and work even harder. Plus, you also brought back my obsession with dragons! I used to be enthralled by dragons; collecting paintings, statues, plushies, books, you name it and I probably have it. And just to like them once more due to my exposure with the content you churn out (wether original or reblogged) is something I can also say I am grateful for. Even just ranting about personal interests in your asks or asking if you perhaps enjoy the same things that I do is something that makes me happy.

I don’t want to make you uncomfortable by saying this, but I seriously do see you as a sort of “big brother” figure in my life. It’s a parasocial relationship, sure, but I have found solitude and comfort in your blog, and even a sort of aspiration to be like you. Either way, the truth is your blog has helped me so much this year and has brought me so much more happiness than what I had before. You have seriously helped me become a better person, better in loving myself and finding something to love in the world around me as well.

So, thank you. Thank you for this blog and for everything you post on here. Thank you, and happy new years. I hope next year gives you nothing but unadulterated love. You deserve it.

Ok so, for an uncountable amount of times this has happened now, I typed a really lengthy reply to this and then cut a section of text to move it and Tumblr decided that meant "delete the whole post except the cut text and then close the post editor, deleting everything forever." It is 3:30am. I'm going to summarize what I wrote as I type it for the second time. The last two paragraphs are the only sections from the first draft that got saved.

--

First off, I apologize for taking so long to reply to this. Your message is extremely heartfelt and sincere and, when I got it (around noon), I wanted to think on it for a little and reread it a few times before replying.

I'm... not great... at accepting compliments. For a lot of my life I've been picked on for my physical appearance and interests so I learned how to take advantage of my size and how to project a pissed off aura to get people to leave me alone. It works very well. Online that doesn't work, and I wouldn't want it to, but offline I think I can be kind of a grumpy asshole. I try really hard to only appear to be that way. After making kids/babies cry just from being in the same space as them though, it can be difficult to think otherwise. I'm not used to people being this kind to me, let alone even admiring or looking up to me.

But the online format is nice; people just see me as an icon and if they don't like my posts/interests they can close the tab or filter it instead of making it my problem. Being able to talk about whatever on here and finding other people that also think it's interesting has helped me a lot too. Before getting into Guilty Gear around August 2021, this blog was mostly just an art reference blog with a very, very, small amount of personal posts scattered in-between when it was something I wanted to archive (like when I started HRT).

I started doing scans because I wanted to send a specific illustration to someone but could only find it in a low resolution. Since I had the GGX '07 art book and a scanner, I figured I might as well just scan it myself and it all sort of snowballed from there. The GG community has been incredibly motivating and I don't see myself quitting doing these scans/translations until there's nothing left to scanlate. Guilty Gear has done so much for me and I love the games and its setting probably more than any other series I've ever been into.

Know that I really, truly, appreciate you sending me this message. I have a little folder of nice messages like yours that I keep to look through on bad days. They genuinely mean a lot to me.

It's such an honor that the things I've posted about have inspired you and lead you to new interests, too, and I hope that I can keep motivating and inspiring you. 2023's gonna be a good year, I think, and I hope you get some of that unadulterated love too.

[taintedlxve]

Wild that this was posted when I wasn't around to defend myself. Apologies to the person who sent me this I feel like they were trying to reassure me but all it did was make me mad lol.

Anyways, I'm mentally ill and reading this shit kind of fucked up my day and since I just can't let shit go without correcting the record I'm just gonna go over some things rq and go back to my hiatus. You don't gotta read, but I was called a liar repeatedly and I'm not gonna let that sit.

A lot of Awoo's post screams out to me as "i'm taking accountability but not really" and I just want to point out places where I feel she's being disengenuous and go back to my hiatus bc I had a good vibe going until now lmao.

I'm skipping the really long explanation about why she never followed me, frankly as I've said before my problems with her extend past that entirely and at this point I don't think it matters that much.

I'll just say this, we had a private conversation in which I made it expressly clear it was okay to come to me about something if she felt she had a problem the LAST time she blocked me for no reason (to be clear to this day I don't know what the hell I was supposed to be sorry for?) after I decided to just unfollow her from her breedingacademy sideblog bc she was replying to other folks' stuff and seemed to just ignore mine. She apologized for this and said she'd do better and I believed her. This, primarily, why I didn't reach out at first.

Further in the post she mentions the vent I wrote that was, in fact, 1000% about her. Ngl I forgot I even wrote it and was surprised by how recently it was. I dunno if I'm really sorry about what I said, it's how I felt at the time and just given the context of how I've allowed you to treat me I simply don't trust you like that anymore.

To be clear I had a LOT of dropped threads at the time or wasn't getting responses at all and that was actively fucking with me and making me wanna quit entirely, but Awoo's behavior stuck with me bc she was one of the few whose responses flooded my dash and I just wouldn't be included. Not saying she's lying but frankly frankly even if it was true Idk what to tell you cause that wasn't the reason she gave at the time.

You very much did say "it's nobody's fault" and "my brain works differently" since you're accusing me of malicously taking you out of context and/or misremembering, but unfortunately I can't access the reply in the image attached bc it's been removed. I'll link it here, maybe something's fucky with my tumblr, I thought it might have been from the blog she ended up deleting but nah it takes me back to her current so -shrug-.

To go into further explanation about what she said (bc obviously I wasn't going to commit a post to photgraphic memory in a vent post) it was something to the effect of "sorry, that's just not how my brain works. once you tell me you're tired of something my brain just labels it as 'avoid at all costs'. It's nobody's fault but…" etc. etc.

She mentions she's autistic, which, I know?? She's mentioned it several times over the last 10 years. Most of my friends are neurodivergent with needs unmet. I'm autistic and soon to be tested for ADHD with needs unmet. I understand that life and socialization is extremely difficult for neurodivergent people.

My partner literally has avpd but she understands that ignoring people bc they make her anxious hurts those people and she takes steps to do what she's able to to circumvent those obstacles bc she cares about those people. I'm really over this self-infantilization people leap to to avoid being criticized the negatives things done because of their neurodivergence. Reminds me of when Sara would beef with everyone on dash and say 'Oh it's my depression'.

And it's not like you were unable to communicate. When I said I was playing fem!Izuku is like the ONLY time I've ever had you reach out to me in my DMs unprompted

Sure, maybe I missed the point of your callout post, whatever, but the point of my message was literally all I've ever asked of you was like, to talk to me and you blocked me without communicating again. The diff is I'm just over being gaslit into being nice and feeling like it's my fault.

You trying to push the responsibility back onto me with a "Oh well she never asked if she had a problem with me" in spite of the fact that I went SO far out of my way to accommodate you to the point of giving you different Cyr icons bc you were squicked out by hair covering eyes just puts the nastiest fucking taste in my mouth and it makes me mad tbh.

I cannot stress how much I'm always the one people expect to make the first move and how sick of it I am, that's why I didn't come to you. I'm not a 'coward', I just was done bowing and scraping for people who didn't like me.

If you cared, you had my discord, and it wasn't like I blocked you first. You had ways of contacting me, and you didn't. So the rigamarole of you 'being worried for me' just doesn't pass my smell test, sorry.

Maybe it does make me hypocrite to smell bs when I see it but it definitely doesn't make me gullible.

The rest is just her demanding an apology from me (nah, you first bitch) but, and I wanna be explicitly clear, the feeling is very mutual, I want nothing to do with this chick.

I wanna be very clear that the end result of this was never to rebuild a friendship with Awoo bc again, once she blocked me I realized this wasn't even the bulk of my problem with her, it was the last straw.

I'm don't wanna be friends with someone who publically calls me me disengenuous and makes me feel so bad I end up apologizing.

Or, again, someone who blocks me when I just say "oh, this person doesn't seem to want to interact on this sideblog so I'll just unfollow"

Maybe you're not like that anymore, or your neurodivergence makes you that way, but I just don't want people like that in my life anymore, and I'm done letting people make me feel small for standing up for myself.

I'll cop to calling you a bad person and saying you hate me bc a lot of that was me being in my feelings and I'm not a mind reader, nor do I know you well enough outside of the internet to make these claims.

But as much as you've tried to victimize yourself I 1000% stand by what I said before, I hope you don't treat you muts as shitty as you treated me.

Thank you for confirming tho that you're not sorry I think helps to know

[misophorism]

Captain's Log #1 (Again)

Hi.

So, yeah, I originally wrote my first CL on this new blog about an interpersonal situation, which I was then pressured to delete. So I did. But it doesn't matter now. That's what this one is about.

Not sure how much detail I should go into over what's bothering me, if any at all. But nobody follows this blog and I doubt anyone reads it. I'll be selectively vague.

Recently, I've been dealing with a situation regarding my writing that has sapped my passion for the written word. I've been dejected these past few days—not writing anything and ruminating endlessly. And, as I realized today, my sense of community has been destroyed.

Why?

Well, that's the question, isn't it?

Those who know me well are probably aware of what I'm talking about. I haven't got a clue why. Of course, there are excuses and reasons I've been given. Some of them sensible, others nonsensical and contradictory. The main thing bothering me is that I have a strong suspicion that the real reason has nothing at all to do with these excuses, and is instead over a different situation, as well as my reaction to it, that caused this.

But no one has been straightforward with me, so that's anyone's guess.

Maybe I'm making it worse now—maybe this very post will burn a bridge. Hey, if it does, that's more attention that's been paid to me than has been in the past two years.

I'm using extensive passive voice here not to make excuses for anything I've done (because, like I said, no one has been straightforward with me—I don't know what the hell I've done, if anything) but because I haven't had an agency in this whole thing. It's been out of my control.

And now I come to the catalyst for this post: the realization that my despair has less to do with my writing and more to do with the loss of a community that I held not only in high regard, but very dear. I'm extremely disillusioned with it, no longer feel safe in it, and view everyone in it in a much different, and far more cynical, light.

It hurts.

I was writing a scene in my current novel where the protagonist is suicidal and beleaguered by superlative despair. It's a perfect scene for me to write right now. But I can't even be bothered to pen a single word, even a syllable. It feels pointless.

I'm exhausted. A major struggle in my life since 2020 has been the paradox of vulnerability. I want to trust people wholly, and not worry about that trust being destroyed. And just when I think I have gotten past it, something occurs that reinvigorates it. I'm ghosted, someone close to me says something that destroys our relationship, I'm disregarded by a community I felt safe in.

Surely, something is my fault. Something is wrong with me. I'm doing something, maybe even unconsciously, that brings this upon me. It's inexplicable otherwise.

Obviously, as humans, we never want to think that we're the reason for our own misfortune. The thought accentuates any distress. But I can't comprehend any other reason this would occur so frequently and so often.

Maybe this is the very reason—posting about things publicly.

If it is, then maybe I deserve whatever ramifications I have brought or shall bring upon myself. But if it is, then why is it only that what I post is read when venting about someone else, and not when venting about wanting to die?

Why is are they read then, but not when talking about my passions, or milestones in my life, or anything other than being wronged?

I don't have an answer to that, and maybe I don't even want one. Like I said, I'm exhausted. There's no conclusion to this, and there probably never will be.

[ilkkawhat]

10.17 Irradiator

[traumasurvivors]

You deleted my reblog cause you know it's true. Those people are just traumatizing themselves. I'd love to see you actually answer this and explain how me being beaten is the same as someone being "traumatized online." You can't. I couldn't turn my trauma off, they could. Big difference! Teach people to turn their phones off, not to accept their own stupidity of not doing so.

I blocked you, therefore deleting your reblog as a result, because it could be very triggering to others, and all it said was "no, online trauma isn't real". It literally added nothing of value and I am allowed to delete whatever I think doesn't belong on my post. My blog is about offering validation to survivors of all types of trauma.

But let's talk about online trauma for a second. It would be valid if someone got traumatized without this sort of background, but for me, my online trauma took place because I was being molested by a family member at the time. This lead me to seek out relationships online with older men, and you can be damn sure that still carries trauma effects to this day. Men who wanted to hear the stories of what was being done to me. I didn't know any better. I didn't know to block them. I literally thought that I was doing what I was supposed to do because of how I had been conditioned and groomed.

I have also experienced domestic abuse, and been beaten as a child. I spent 18 years of my life living in active trauma situations between sexual abuse, physical abuse, and emotional abuse by family and a romantic partner. I have several frames of reference and I can still tell you that the online trauma I experienced was real.

Also, with your logic, is my trauma from being beaten and sexually abused by my romantic partner not valid because I could have just "walked away?" Is my child abuse not valid because I could have just "told someone?" Trauma doesn't work within any set of rules.

I'm not bringing up what I went through to try and compare traumas, that's not the point. The point is that because I've been through what people deem as "acceptable" and "big" trauma, I feel like my opinion on the trauma you see as less valid should have weight to it since I have experienced it too and it traumatized me as well.

Comparing trauma doesn't help anyone. It's not about the events themselves, but how they affect someone. I personally experience more trauma from an experience I had with a spider verses an assault I went through. I have flashbacks and nightmares about this experience with a spider and I end up panicking when I'm in the place where I dealt with it.

I understand that you are hurting, and I understand that maybe you feel like it makes your trauma seem less important somehow. But it doesn't. Other people having trauma doesn't mean yours is less valid or important somehow. It's also not uncommon for some survivors to feel like other people's trauma isn't as bad as theirs, and to feel bitter about that.

I can definitely see that you are suffering. I saw the anger and hatred you pass to others on your blog. It seems like you're in a lot of pain, but that doesn't mean it's okay to bully others online. Which is essentially what you're doing. It's possible it makes you feel powerful in some way to cause others pain. And your feelings of anger are valid, but your behaviour definitely isn't. I hope that you heal. I truly do. And I hope that you can learn to put your anger where it belongs, and that is on the people who hurt you, not other trauma survivors.

(Also, I will say that even if someone does seek out trauma in some regard, that's likely a result from having experienced trauma in the past, and they are still valid.)

Edit to add: I had an anon tell me they couldn't block people online because they were a child and these people threatened to find them, and being a child, they really believed the threats and were terrified. There are so many reasons someone may not be able to just "block" someone. Let's also not forget that people really focused on bullying or abusing someone online, likely won't let a block option stop them.

[orbviously]

same anon abt the pro-shipping shit. my aggression was me being oocly anxious and it came across weird, but genuinely i was looking for a way to empathize or understand your side. i'm not looking to change your opinion, and potentially not to change my own, but it doesn't mean i don't want to know what your reasoning is and/or understand where you're coming from. just wanted to apologize cause damn i didn't know it came across so rudely until those reactions.

Hey, anon, thanks for sending this ask. I'm actually grateful that you realized how you sounded. I do think it's kind of normal and encouraged, unfortunately, to be aggressive rather than open minded. However, it's going to make it harder to understand people when you're basically already acting like they've done something wrong.

I'm not an expert in the proshipper vs anti thing, I just come from old internet and fandom where you get to write whatever and it had no bearing on your real life. It didn't affect your "morality", it didn't mean you viewed real people in some degenerate way--fiction can effect reality, but fanfic writers and queer creators and such do not have the sway that mainstream media does.

this got long, and any time I write "you" it's a general you, so keep that in mind.

People use the JAWS comparison a lot, but what they're leaving out is how big and influential that Steven Spielberg creation was--a popular fanfic author for a fandom you're into will only have as much reach as the fandom, and sometimes, not even that much. I'm into Hazbin Hotel, and when a popular Hazbin Fanfic writer joined the scene, I had no idea who they were.

I think it is bad to view things under black and white. It will always be okay to write problematic shit in fiction, it will never be the same as endorsing it IRL. You may encounter people who do that, sure, but just like everything, there are messed up people, and there are normal people. Kink spaces have always been largely friendly towards LGBT+, because for a very long time, (and still today) it was unsafe to be out. It was unsafe to be yourself. Fanfic is similar to kink spaces, in that way. It's a safe, controlled space where you get to write the outcomes, you get to control the things happening.

The original link is gone because the person who posted it probably changed their URL or deleted the post, but it was essentially about how darkfic is good for people to work through their own traumas and shit, but also it's just a good safe way for people to write about anything. And it is safe, because it's not real. To then accuse people who write these things of being okay with hurting real people is patronizing at best, absolutely disrespectful and infantilising at worst. I learned how to separate fiction and reality as a child, and to be accused of not knowing the difference is very insulting.

It's okay to have squicks! It's okay to not be comfortable with various themes, but that does not mean those themes are not allowed to exist. Censorship makes it harder for everyone to protect themselves. Who are antis protecting by encouraging people who write/draw/RP dark themes to kill themselves? Because I can guarantee you, in every group of antis, there are people hiding their darkfic interests, afraid their friends will turn on them. Having interests in dark shit does not make you bad, it makes you human. It's normal. When we started to tell people, especially teenagers, that if they are interested in darkfic it means they endorse those things in real life, it is entirely damaging to their self esteem, but also opens them up to being abused.

You can have your limits and people will respect them, but demanding it with threats and fear mongering, that's probably not gonna get people to want to listen to you. I've been bullied a ton in my life, and I don't listen to bullies. I never will.

@/olderthannetfic is currently a blog I am reading a lot and it's really good! it talks a lot about this stuff. But you do yourself a great disservice to pretend that fiction has an effect on reality to the degree antis behave. It is never okay to bully someone to the point of suicide. It is never okay to accuse someone of being an actual p*do over shipping Vector and Espio. Do we not care about actual victims of these situations? Have ANY OF YOU heard of the parable THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF?

To sum it up: A shepherd keeps screaming that a wolf is coming, but he's lying. every time, people come running but he laughs at them for believing it. finally, a wolf does show up. He screams and cries out for help, but nobody comes because they think he's lying again.

If you constantly make false claims of heinous accusations, people are not going to believe you when something ACTUALLY goes down. People will not believe ACTUAL VICTIMS. Blonic should never have the same rights as a real life human being, that's so incredibly insulting.

Nobody is evil just because they enjoy fucked up fictional media. I just don't read anything that upsets me or grosses me out. If my shipping Orbot and Cubot grosses you out, then please don't follow. It's okay. I'm not responsible for other people, just my own enjoyment. There is no right and good way to enjoy fictional characters. But the moment you attack real people based on your thoughts about fictional characters, you have somehow managed to fuck up enjoying media. That's the truth.

[serabellymrph]

xKIT PART 3: EDITABLE REBLOGS (now known as Trim Trail Items)

So, for this example, I'm going to be using a few friends' posts that I've seen go wonky (their text and images will be blurred, it's simply for example purposes) to show you some little errors that don't happen in comparison to the new version of xKit.

Now, I'm someone who is newer to xKit, but I've used both versions.

*There is no preferences section, which is why it's not included.

Part 1 || Part 2

EDITABLE REBLOGS (because that's what us roleplayers really want, let's be honest.)

HOLD ON--PANIC MODE! I CAN'T FIND THE REBLOG EDITOR!

First of all--take a breath. Cutting posts is easier, but it's located in a different spot.

Step 1 is to enable the beta editor on Tumblr.

If this is what your editor looks like, then you are currently still on the legacy editor. You absolutely need to switch to the Beta Editor. If you're not sure how to do that:

Looking in the upper right hand corner of your browser, you will see the toggle for your beta editor. Make sure you don't have a post in there. It will absolutely wipe whatever content you have in there. Save it to something else and you should be able to paste it back in, though you may have to contend with fixing a little formatting.

Most keyboard shortcuts still work in this editor, and for the most part, it appears the same as the legacy editor. You have your title, your blog dropdown, your option to add cuts/readmore, music, links, all of that. Some options, like changing to indented, bulleted lists, numbered lists, or bigger text are found when you select a block of text. This is the same way that it functions on the mobile editor.

FUN FACT: Ever resize your window and have your entire post disappear because it switched editors? This is because the "mobile" version of Tumblr uses the Beta Editor as its DEFAULT EDITOR. When you resize your browser window down, it detects the resolution of your browser, and will automatically switch to a more mobile-friendly (or reduced screen size) view for you. If you're using the beta editor, you can resize all you like, and you won't lose your posts!

Now, let's see what the Editable Reblogs actually look like now.

The posts above are all from DASH VIEW (or blog view, in this specific case -- as I was viewing one of my dud blogs. I was going to rename this blog, but I don't play to play this character, so I'll leave the blog up for people to actually view and see how it works. Panicking because you forgot to cut your draft? Don't-- you can cut right from the dash, too. Look for the little scissors!

This portion is actually from drafts. What it effectively done is just "removes old trail items" -- meaning that it removes everything BUT the last item. See that cute little scissors icon? THAT'S IT. THAT'S YOUR EDITABLE REBLOG. THAT'S HOW YOU CUT. You click that cute little scissors icon, and bam. THAT. IS. IT.

No backspacing.

No fucking up when you delete too much. (been there, done that.)

No fucked up formatting for your friends who use icons looking weird among the indents.

It preserves it. It preserves the new formatting. It does not accidentally post your drafts when you go to save the draft. THEY STAY.

*one small issue I have noticed is that you need to cut BEFORE you post. It was giving me issues before, but it's possible that the issue has been fixed. It did not appear to cause an issue in these drafts but be forewarned about it. Just hit cut before you edit the draft! Remember - draft, cut, write. DRAFT, CUT, WRITE. DCR. DRAFT CUT WRITE.

SO WHAT DO THEY ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?

Let's remember for a second what the old cut reblogs look like... and what funky things happened to them.

Now, let's look at something in the new post editor. Here's what a post with some images looks like that's saved in my drafts:

Here's what it looks like after we've cut it. Note that the new xKit version does not, in any way, alter the actual FORMATTING of the original post. This is what the legacy editor does; it changes the formatting of the post, which is why you get all kinds of weird issues like images making your first paragraph indented and no matter how many times you mess with it, it just doesn't work. You don't have to remove images from your partners' posts so the formatting works, because there's nothing being changed with the formatting in the first place.

THE FINAL STEP: MY OLD REPLIES ARE STILL IN THE LEGACY EDITOR. WHAT DO I DO????

Sometimes, you may run into the issue where, in attempting to cut, it will tell you that legacy posts cannot be cut/altered from your drafts. There's two workarounds to this.

Workaround #1: REPOST IT! This one is the simplest. Take your last reply, copy it into a new post, and start again from there. The same way you might when moving asks to a new post if someone didn't already make a new post from it.

Workaround #2: Edit from the mobile app. Note that I specified the mobile app; this is the only way I've found that works for me. I went into my original post (meaning the VERY FIRST POST OF THE REBLOG CHAIN -- so the very first post you posted to start that thread), edited it from the mobile app (iphone, ipad, android phone or tablet, whatever fits your fancy) and just changed something small--bold a word, italicize a word, change a punctuation, something that made the post fundamentally different.

This pseudo-forced it into the new post format, and from there, I was able to cut. Posts made in-between that were edited with old xKit won't matter--they'll just stay as they were, and you don't have to touch them. Only the first post of the thread matters in this case.

REGARDING USERS USING OLD XKIT:

Please note, if you're still using the old xKit for editable reblogs, but your partner is using the new one, they will not be able to cut your posts. The old xKit outright changes the reblog structure and puts their old reply as part of your new reply, while removing EVERY old trail item including their old one (and it appears as nothing more than indented text in your response). As a result, there's nothing to actually cut for the new xKit, so your partners won't be able to cut. You need to be aware of this if you've decided not to make the transition. Don't go bitching to your mutuals for not cutting their posts when they are using the new version and you're still on the old one. Either run both if you're still going to use an old, glitchy addon, or switch entirely. Otherwise, deal with it.

[dojunie]

Hello, it's "time goes by fast" anon. May I ask you for some tips for writing? How did you get into it? I've tried to myself, but I mainly draw and it's so different and harder compared to writing. It might be because my first language isn't English, so when I try to come up with sentences, it kind of gets stuck at finding the right words.

tips for writing!!!!! my goodness i wish i had a specific set of rules or thoughts or whatever but i have no set lines that i follow 🤕🤕🤕🤕 and i used to draw too!!!! i had this blog on tumblr where i used to upload my art for bts, but as i gradually grew out of bts and drawing in general, i stopped updating it lol

i got into writing fanfiction in 2014 when i was fourteen i think (5SOS... 💀) but ive been making up stories for basically my whole life, so i have no concrete rules... so i'll just mention a few of the things i do that help me put out a finished product that i'm proud of!

[a/n]: i got WAY too into answering this so it's going under a readmore LOL, please scroll if this doesn't interest you

what i do is that i edit... a lot. probably too much. definitely too much. if i had to give you the #1 thing i do that i think has the biggest impact on my work, is that i am Always Editing. ive heard other advice where people say to not edit until you're done, but i just don't operate that way; i gotta edit as i go. i just gotta. every single time i open something i'm working on i read it over from the very beginning of that chapter/scene, and always end up fixing a few things on the way down that i didn't notice while writing. and if you do this every time, or often enough, eventually you will shape your words into something you've really thought through and understand the purpose of. for example, like you said, a sentence where the words/idea doesn't quite flow as well as i envisioned it in my head. i take things out, i delete it altogether and try rewriting it with a different feeling, i move the sentence to a different part of the paragraph, i try a different word (i LOVE the thesaurus.com website for helping me find different words for the same meaning, cause it really spices up a sentence if the word sounds too... stuck. i literally have it saved in my browser bookmarks lol.)

and besides my habit of excessively overediting i'm not sure what else to tell you 😔 so i'm going to list a few things ive realized i really pay attention to while writing! ⇩⇩⇩⇩

sentence length!!! vary your sentences!!! this really helps keep the reader engaged with reading and comprehending tone and feelings; i.e long sentences feel very descriptive, they draw you in with a lot of information at once and (especially in dialogue!) / and shorter sentences feel important, sharp and direct, they snap quicker and more suddenly. long and short work well together!

character voices!! for me, this means the way each person in the story thinks, acts, or talks; like how in misdial, Jeno's 'voice' is very matter of fact. it's a little more blunt, a bit flat and unemotive, to the point that his true feelings are often misunderstood because people can't tell what he's thinking. he's serious. still. careful. so i use a lot of periods and short sentences to try and get this across! with mc, however, i want her to come across as spunky, easily agitated, hard-headed and quite relaxed; so i make it a point to have her talk back under her breath, she curses a lot, sometimes speaks before she thinks about what she's really saying. a lotta exclamation points, wordy sentences, smart-ass retorts and playful comments. the way your character talks (in their head and out loud) really sets the tone of the writing!

if something sounds weird and clunky, or stuck, try reading it out loud! not like yelling it or anything, but maybe just whisper it to yourself. i've found that this helps me figure out which part of a sentence is the weird bit that needs to be changed to flow better.

dont be afraid to scrap certain parts or change a scene completely! this is something i struggle with still, lmao, but ive unfortunately realized that it does actually help to cut a part if it's giving you hell. (by this i mean it doesn't flow right no matter what you do, doesn't fit the rest of the scene, or feels clunky and weird and wont sound right no matter how you edit it). i was stuck on a fic once for almost a week, trapped by a scene that i couldn't bear the part with because i thought it NEEDED to be in the fic... and then the moment i removed it and tried to write it a different way, it just worked. (and just to be clear, i dont delete it completely! i just copy paste the problem section into a temporary doc so i dont lose all that work, but sometimes just getting it out of the way is enough to get the gears turning again!)

and that's all i guess!?!?! WOW i kind of went crazy with this but ive never been asked this question before, and really wanted to give you my honest thoughts... so i genuinely hope this helps you in some way!!!!

tysm for asking me this! thinking about this so seriously actually helped me as well 🙇‍♀️

(i'm going to dub you 📚 anon <3)

[tsukishumai]

(feel free to keep this to yourself or delete or whatever ik it's long so if you don't want it to take space on ur blog I get it!!! ❤️❤️❤️)

Ok im the anon from last night and im gonna try to fit my somewhat clear (still mostly jumble) thoughts into one ask! Maybe 2 if i absolutely cannot fit but anyways i went to bed last night thinking “damn idk who i want reader to be with” but uh based on the tiny notes i took when i reread it there is a clear favorite O.O

Anyways im not sure if Bo just doesn’t know that he likes reader or what??? Why is he LITERALLY BRINGING ANOTHER GIRL HOME to presumably sleep with and then act all >:( when reader leaves w kuroo??? Absolutely not !

Also im sorry but the “shes like my sister!” comment absolutely killed me, i remember when that happened to me and i made a BEELINE for the bathroom right afterwards to cry about it lol but speaking of crying!!! Idk how reader kept it together when she was helping Bokuto dress up because seeing someone i like put so much effort into a date with another person would have destroyed me….and then when he spun around and was li e “how do i look?” ABSOLUTELY NOT it would have been OVER for EVERYONE.

AND ALSO the whole assigning colors to people part is so lovely and jehfbrwuifekj im a huge color/number person when it comes to emotions and people because I feel like everyone has their own unique color for them? Sometimes numbers but for me it’s only when i really know the person but anyways this is as much as i can say without going over the limit so in conclusion, i LOVE your series and i’m so excited for future updates and you seem like a really cool person so i’ll hopefully be back in your ask box soon!! Kissies and hugs kjednfkwjef pls have a spooky october!!!

🧡💚🧡💚

Love Galore

i'm not gonna lie i've been keeping this in my inbox FOR DAYSSS BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T STOP RE-READING IT AND I W ANNA KEEP IT FOREVER T-T but i don't want you to think i ignored this sweet message BECAUSE FUCK!

it honestly still BLOWS my mind whenever i get asks like this, because honestly it makes my heart fucking SIIINGGGGG hearing your thoughts about Love Galore!! AND YOU TOOK NOTES I'M ACTUALLY CRYING LMAO I LITERALLY LOVE YOU fsadas but anyway i just have to know, who are you rooting for? lol

HONESTLY Bo is just as confused like he's kinda self-centered you know! not in a bad way, like he's nice and caring to his friends but ultimately everything he does everything for his OWN self interest, and someitmes when ur so tunnel-visioned like that, it's difficult to understand the feelings of those around u!!! cause in a way he only cares about his own? it's kinda contradictory LOL

AND BESTIE IM SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOUFFSDA being sister-zoned is absolutely not a curse i would wish upon my worst enemies smh and i have NOOO idea how y/n did i could fucking NEVERRR i'd just tell him like 'go watch a youtube video or something' like SHE DONE HELPED SHIP HER MAN OFF!! UR CRAZY!! but at least she got to spend time with kuroo lmao

im so happy u like that part bc i feel the same way i love associate people with colors ij ust feel like color plays such a big part in our life and i love assigning colors hahah but anywayyyy

THANK YOU SO MUCH from the absolute bottom of my heart for reading and letting me know your thoughts on Love Galore it honestly means a lot to me and i hope i see you in my inbox more ofteenn!!

[hotchley]

hey sumayyah! i saw your sign!! I'm writing the JJ & Emily parts of the really out of the blue and shitty mini-whatever it is 💀 and hopefully I'll figure out how to shorten it or something lmaoo

but i wanted to come here and talk for awhile i guess

it's like, 2am where i am right now and I'm just so drained mentally like idk i can't seem to focus on getting all my work done (school work) and i just submitted a fake corrupted file to pass off as my homework because i haven't been able to finish it (it's not graded or anything it's just 2 biology practice papers for revision for the upcoming exam but they're really long & biology is not my strong subject......)

like I'm 60-70% done on both papers and yeah i feel so bad for doing what i did and i am still planning on finishing those 2 papers (both as legitimate practice/revision & just in case my teachers do check and decide to ask me to resubmit/send them the file through another channel) and idk i obviously can't really talk to any one in school about this so i came here.... sorry for this bout of negativity i just feel so drained inside and it's not even the first time.... I'm on my break right now (mid years break) but my break is ending in roughly 4-5 more days? and I've felt unmotivated and horrible throughout the entire break idk :/ idk if this is just burn out or something else.... I've been planning on finding a therapist/professional to talk to? but 1. i can't exactly do it "openly" because i come from a rather conservative family and mental health issues (& sexuality etc) aren't things we talk about in my family.... and 2. I'm still a full-time student & I'm not sure of what services are available + the costs and all the other concerns? so like idk I'm not even sure where to start :(

and because I've been feeling like cr*p most of the time the last 3 weeks, I've done absolutely nothing & so i have TONS of school assignments piled up (those that were due during the break I've finished (somehow lmao) and submitted, but those that are due AFTER the break when school reopens.... i have completely not touched) & the worst thing is I'm not even entirely sure what's my entire workload.... so i definitely have to start seriously getting my work done from tomorrow (technically today) onwards.... but like i genuinely have a hard time focusing on work and I'm not sure if it's just my issues with procrastination or if i have a genuine illness or something and i don't want to self diagnose so I've been trying to not think about this but lately it's been so hard because i can't even finish my work on time and exams are coming and it's just really affecting me? and it's getting worse? i don't even have anyone i can truly talk to about this irl too and SKDJSKSNS idk 😭😭

i am SO SORRY for all the negativity!!!!! i just felt so alone and really had to vent somewhere i am so sorry, feel free to delete this ask if you're uncomfortable 🥺

i hope you're having a much better day/night and i love you ❤️ your blog (& cm Tumblr) is really giving me hope & keeping me alive, if i can put it that way 🥺♥️♥️ thank you for being you, and thank you for simply existing. I'm sorry things got so depressing all of a sudden lmao I'll be fine (eventually, probably)

- 🌙

I feel like my answer got long, so I put it under the cut :)

YAY!

Also, I did see this when you initially sent it, but I'm working on boundaries and priorities, which is why I didn't answer it then- I just needed a break <3

Look, you're learning during a pandemic that has disrupted everything and caused a lot of pain and stress. One corrupted file does not make you a bad student. You're still going to try.

There were so many days during lockdown where I just... didn't submit any work, and then I would submit it later saying the thing broke- which seemed believable because the thing we used never functioned properly.

And we cannot be happy or perfect all the time. Sometimes we need to share our problems. I have always said you can talk to me, it just may take me a few days depending on my own situation, and I stand by that.

Sometimes breaks just make us more miserable. Sometimes it is just genuinely a phase that you will snap out of. Sometimes it isn't. Either way, you need to let yourself feel this. Don't try and bury it. That'll be worse.

So when it comes to therapists, if you've been thinking of seeing one, go for it. Chances are, it'll help.

I get what you mean. I don't know what it's like where you are, but in England, everyone over 16 has control over the medical stuff. That basically means your parents cannot be told what you're doing, and you can do things without their knowledge. If I wanted to make an appointment, I wouldn't need to tell them I was making it, or what was discussed. Neither can the doctors.

I asked one of my friends (I have consent to share this), and she said that she went through the BetterHelp website, and that it's really helping her. Now I know BetterHelp had some real serious problems, so I would be cautious, but that is one option. Hers is between £50-£60 a session, but there were cheaper options.

You could also go through your school!! My school has what is called a "well-being practitioner" who you can just go and see when you're feeling down, and it all remains confidential UNLESS they think intervention is needed. So you could see if there are any sessions they do, or if there's any help you can get from them :)

I have seen SO, SO many teachers on TikTok recently say two things: ask them for help if you need it, and they will give it, and just do something. I don't know what you're teachers are like, but they're probably stressed and burnt out too. If you need an extension or a break or help, they'll do their best.

And if you can't do everything, then just do one thing. Do your favourite subject, or the easiest thing. I know people say do the hardest thing first because then everything gets easier, but the one time I did that, I started crying and I gave up for a good three days so...

If you've done extensive research, then maybe it is something, and if you think that there is that, then you should try and get tested <3 and it's okay if there really is nothing. Sometimes brains are weird

You don't ever have to apologise for being human <3 Remember how I mentioned crying for twenty minutes to my history teacher? I said the same thing to him: that I feel bad talking about these things because everyone has their own problems. His response was: well yes, but there are so many people that want to help you. And they would tell you if you were being a burden.

You need to trust that. And it's hard. It's painful. It's difficult. But I promise you, telling someone will always be better than bottling it up- and this comes from the person that was pissed for six weeks because I got a phone call home from someone higher up because previously mentioned history teacher told them that I was not doing great

I love you too!!

And sometimes life gets you down! That's okay! Things will get better! Maybe this isn't healthy, but my thing is: things will work out, and things will get better because they need to, and I refuse to believe I am living a life where they won't.

You will be fine! I have every faith in you!!

[renticat]

Phewww... Yuck?

Lol you're not going to believe me that I'VE BEEN DELETING ALL MY POST, again. Its the second time I'm doing it. First one its my blog, tifanyaprilia.blogspot.com and please don't ever visit that site again because I've just happen to know that google shut down the google + and my name Tifany Aprilia become "unknown" (well I actually kinda like it because its nice to be nobody when everybody says that nobody is perfect; which is me lol) 😅

I wrote so much about my HEARTBREAK TRAGEDY in my old blog and one of my friend told me it's a SHAME, you can't be too honest about your feelings especially online (you know internet are full of fake things so you better get yourself some security) then I thought about it and yeah I agree so I just left some poems that actually didn't relate with myself at all (okay, some are related to me but not every pieces) and I honestly dedicated those poems just to be a book written by me because I joined the writing club in campus but no more... I'm just in very ill feeling two years ago and now (I mean right now) that finally I can come out a little bit from my shell.

Don't ask me why? Its complicated and I ever wrote it here if somebody ever read it... (Sigh, I made all the perfect same mistakes again but different times with same-different people and I hope I can do better to overcame my own insecurity) -complicated childhood PTSD, a little bit depression and suicidal imagination cause I am not brave enough entering the hell for eternity of course I mean it- if you wondering why there are so much difficult words to understand go googling yourself-

Second, my tumblr is back! Finally... I personally like tumblr more than instagram because here you can share many things like gifs, re-blog content from other and writing your ideas like a blog but I never update my entry about a year ago because I can't open my tumblr app anymore on my phone so here I am. Well instagram is cool but when I write too many words for caption is just not seem good looking and fyi I didn't like to post picture of myself too much ex: selfies but I've ever done it so I think its enough -thanks to Luluk; she made my instagram account when actually I didn't really want to just so my friend can tag me but when I have insta they don't really tag me -_- so I thought I better upload everything on tumblr again, bye insta and blogspot-

My instagram just for stalking cute cat photos, cool outfits or maybe laughing at ex-boy when I am still single. Lol I didn't want to delete my insta acc because there were so much memories... Not that much but still...

So thanks for visiting me again. I am still learning English and for sure I knew my grammar was not that good but at least I try, (and the importanter;cough; I have to expand my vocab babe, the more important yeah does my writings sound dull?)

My Mother tongue eh, mother language is Indonesia. If you don't know its near Malaysia and Australia... Haha (its sad some people really didn't know where Indonesia is) and Im just still shock that BMTH going acoustic but whatever I still love them.

With heart,

(If I don't forget where it was)

Tifany Elok Aprilia

#diary #deleted #memories #brandnewstart #lol

[udunie]

hello, i'm sorry to bug you but how did you get your tumblr back? i've been emailing the staff for the last few weeks but they won't respond :( and i wondered if maybe i'm doing something wrong. thank you for reading (and of course, for sharing your incredible writing ❤️)

First of all, I’m so sorry that happened to you!

I’m gonna make a cut here, and copy my emails with tumblr, okay? Just the text, and I will cross out some info, but hopefully it will help you!

So, this was my first email, after I realized what happened:

Nov 19, 12:17 PM EST

Hello! I'm (or I was) tumbr user udunie, my email address is my email address I would like to know if it would be possible to get it back? I don't know what may have triggered this, as I haven't done anything violating the TOS as far as I know, and did not receive any warnings about this.I would really appreciate it if you could help me with this, thank you so much in advance!Udunie

I got an automated email as a reply, something along the lines of ‘we got your email, chill’, but I can’t find that now.

And then I read somewhere that you should send a second email (then later I read that you shouldn’t send multiple emails, cause it will push your case to the end of the line, so do with this information whatever you want lol) Anyway, I sent another email

Nov 19, 5:06 PM EST

Dear Tumblr Staff,

Just wanted to elaborate on what I already wrote. I have never received a warning before about my blog, and I was shocked to see it gone. I have around 1800 followers, and I spend a lot of time on tumblr, I have met and keep in contact with friends there. Please let me know if I somehow unknowingly violated any terms, and I will be sure to correct it. Thank you in advance for your help, and have a lovely day!Udunie

As you can see I sent this on the very same day as the first one, and I got another automated reply, same as the first. Then nothing fucking happened for nine whole days lol, until I got this:

Zendesk Api User Prod (tumblr)

Nov 28, 1:21 PM EST

Hello,

Your account has been restored. You should now be able to log in just fine with your email address and password.

Please let us know if there’s anything else we can help you with.

Thanks,Tumblr Trust & Safety

(Also, just for the record, a follower told me my blog was back up before I even got this email lol.)

Anyway, unfortunately this is all I can give you, nonnie. To this day I have no idea what was the basis of them deleting my blog or restoring it to be honest.