#cause i mention one thing and have to go oh yeah sidenote. every other sentence

[husband]

Hi, im a beginner horror enjoyer and im really disturbed by a lot of gore but i wanna understand the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies bc ive heard theyre hugely influential on the genre (rightly so too)

I figured with all this id ask the foremost texas chainsaw scholar i am aware of

Could you tell me the basics, if its gross (im really bad at tolerating gross out horror and gore played realistic), and any fun tidbits?

If not i thank you for reading and hope you have a good day ^-^

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was hugely influential on the genre and set the standard for low budget horror and inspired future filmmakers to rely more on psychological terror over gore & violence! It was also seemingly the birth of a lot of horror tropes, like big, masked killers and using power tools for weapons.

Texas Chainsaw's story is inspired by serial killers like Ed Gein and Elmer Wayne Henley. The movie’s director, Tobe Hooper, was inspired by the graphic coverage of violence by San Antonio news outlets and based elements of the plot on murderer Ed Gein, who was a notorious serial killer who made furniture out of human body parts and created a mask made of human skin. The movie’s underlying themes are mostly the horrors of isolation, and the dangers of unchecked capitalism. The movie is also a metaphor for the Nixon-era mayhem and the government’s deceit toward the public during the 1970s. Hooper intentionally misled audiences by claiming that the movie was based on a true story to attract a wider audience.

I honestly don't know how to give you the basics aside from a plot synopsis because I would, hand to God, be sitting here for about 12 hours minimum going into every weird little detail, like the intricacies of bubba's mental issues and being forced to take on a female role for his abusive older brothers, or all the absolutely insane shit that happened during filming. And that'd just be me talking about the FIRST film.

But if you want to ask me more questions or see more Texas chainsaw related stuff you can ask/look over at my blog @chainsawhouse. I just hate to gum up my main blog with this particular interest.

Also, my fun tidbit is that they've recently confirmed that there is a new Texas Chainsaw Massacre in the works, under the title 'Texas Chainsaw Legacy'! Very fun imo.

[mickmarstookmyheart]

Life's a Sick Joke pt 2

Pairing: Mick Mars x Reader

Would like to start from the beginning? Here is Part 1 !

Sidenote: As this story is under construction, I would like to warn you that those chapters which don’t have a proper title are written in the main caharcter’s POV!! Be aware!!! Be awaaare! I hope you will enjoy this storyas I did writing it, have a nice day and feel free to leave marks!

2. After-Meeting Party

"Hey Liz, you forgot your helmet! Don't dare to ride without it." Dylan threw it in your way and you caught it smoothly. You said goodbye to him and ran down the stairs, hoping not to meet any of your neighbors.

You packed your stuff into the bag of your motorbike. It was a beautiful, shining jet black chopper. You've worked your ass off to afford it, but it was way cheaper than a car. Perks, you can easily avoid traffic jams. It was just still February and all, but since you hate public transport, particularly people, you got your helmet on and pulled the leather jacket down your waist.

On your way to the meeting, plenty of things crossed your mind. Firstly, in a couple of months, you will be on the road and travel a LOT with Ozzy Osbourne as the opener group during 'Bark at the Moon' tour. Secondly, how should you behave with the boys and the other members of the staff? Should you joke with them or stay calm and silent and ignore all the witty sentences they will tell? And finally, Mick. You hoped he forgot that little chat between the two of you.

When you got there and finally found a parking lot. You took off your helmet and headed towards the building. Inside you took a look at the big clock and saw that you were half an hour earlier, but you didn't mind. Never have you ever been late from anywhere. I gave a look to that clerk from last time and confidently stepped in the elevator. When you got in front of the office door you hesitated a bit. When you stepped in you said a shy hello to the others who were already there. You sat down at the end of the table and started to read the papers on the desk.

"Hey, don't touch them! It's confidential." At the same moment, you dropped the papers and looked over the man in complete shock. You felt my face burn in embarrassment.

"Oh...I'm so sorry. I didn't know..." You tried to say a proper sentence.

"Just kidding, kid. Don't worry. Anyway, I'm Doc." He approached you and shook hands.

"(Y/N). Nice to finally meet you." You were smiling since you truly meant it. He already managed some bands you liked so much.

"Are you the new makeup artist?" He asked rubbing the back of his head guessing.

"Nope. I'm a photographer. I don't, more like I can't really do anything with makeup." You chuckled remembering your many attempts with make-up. You either ended like a clown or you never saw any difference.

"Ohh so you are the nerd one." Yaaay now they will call you The Nerd™. Cool. "Anyway, I read your CV. Nice qualifications. To be honest I expected an old, skinny man with a big mustache to be the photographer. But it's a pleasant disappointment."

"Thank you. I guess." You said after he left you there.

After he left the room, you let your hair loose and fix it a bit due to the helmet completely ruined it. The only body part you adored was your hair. Well, your hair, generally in the family. All the three of you and your bitch mother had silver, almost platinum white hair.

10 am. Finally. Everybody was present except for the four musicians. Nothing really happened, just discussed things which relate to the staff.

10:30 am. The door opened and the dark knight himself entered the meeting. You tried to avoid eye contact with him so you entertained yourself by the color of the wall and the long, shining glass table in front of you.

"I am sorry." Mick apologized and shut the door after himself. So he is the only one who attended the meeting. Nice.

"So, your interview went well I see." He whispered in your ear as he sat down next to you. Next to you. There were plenty of other seats available, but he had to sit down right there. Yay. Becoming invisible mission failed.

"Yeah...I was surprised, too." You said blushing.

You tried my best, really. You tried to concentrate on the meeting and jot down important information, but every time Doc joked and Mick chuckled or laughed you completely lost control. You always felt his eyes on you. It was frustrating. You cleared your throat more than once as a sign for him to look away but he didn't get it or just didn't want to. Doc started to write on the board the important concert dates and so did you.

"Shouldn't we wait until the boys come?" You chuckled. A girl asked who was sitting in front of you. She was a rookie, too if you had to guess.

"It's very unlikely to happen, dear. They are rockstars and they do whatever they feel like." Doc sighed continuing on the board.

"You know I'm sitting here, right?" Mick asked in a serious tone. Everybody cracked up, including me.

"If you really want to see them, check them at the after-meeting party." Doc told the girl.

"After-meeting party?"

You whispered to Mick.

"Yep. You coming?" He asked leaning closer. His breath was doing things to you.

"I don't know. Maybe. Although, I can't really drink, and party without alcohol isn't a party."

"And what if I won't drink either? That would be fair, right?" He offered in a very dangerous tone, it gave you goosebumps.

"Ohh I can't expect it from you. It's a party overall!"

"I want to be sober when I'm talking to you. I want to remember everything you say and tell me." Your heart skipped a beat.

At the party

"Hey, Mick!!! We didn't expect you to be hereeeee!!" Nikki yelled as he, Tommy, and Vince entered the party. They were all drunk as hell but trying to act sober. You and Mick were sitting at the bar drinking juice and water. Shame.

"Fuck. I didn't know what I was missing. These morons." He placed his face in his hands. Somehow you felt a sudden urge to touch his shoulder to comfort him, but you didn't have the guts to do so.

"And who is this?" The boys approached you and stopped in front of you. Vince eyed from head-to-toe and was grinning. "Nice to meet you, dear. I'm Vince Neil, the singer, and leader of this band."

"Vince, you are the lead singer, not the leader. It's not the same, man." Nikki corrected Vince.

"(Y/N)." He held your hand and placed a kiss on the top of it.

"My lady." Mick just rolled his eyes. You were afraid he might eye-roll himself into another dimension.

"And (Y/N)....what?" Tommy asked curiously.

"I'm sure she is (Y/N) Sixx cause I will fucking marry her, man!" He and his terror twin high-fived while you and Mick just shared a look.

"Wow. That was so original. You don't have better pickup lines?" You asked pulling one of your eyebrows at him.

"Hey, that was good. As me." He winked and with that, he just walked away pretending to be offended.

"I'm Tommy. Tommy Lee. And I really would like to know your surname!! Is it embarrassing or what?" He snickered.

"Well if you look me with those puppet eyes of yours I'm gonna tell ya. My name is (Y/N) Cooper." You sighed and waited for the reaction. Tommy was wide-eyed and already turned towards his bandmates.

"Hey Sixx, Vinnie! This is Alice Cooper's daughter!" You facepalmed since you already knew this will happen. A bunch of idiots.

"No, man. This is the reason I didn't want to tell it. Because you, fucking teenagers will immediately think that I'm a relative of Alice Cooper!!" You snapped and now completely understand Mick's thoughts about them.

"Chills, dude. I'm leaving." Lee held his hands up in defense and left you there with Mick.

"Fucking teenagers" is my line." Mick spoke up after they all left.

"You need to copyright it sometime."

∆Still at the party∆

"So I already know that you like taking pictures. Tell me your story!" You were now on the balcony which was much quieter and peaceful them downstairs. You finally convinced Mick to drink something even if you couldn't. He had a bottle of beer in his hands and was gesturing with it.

"I don't really know what to tell. What do you want to know?" You asked while taking a sip from your water. Water at a party. You couldn't believe it either.

"Well, do you live near here? Children?" He paused for a second. He looked at you from the coach. "Husband?" You smiled at the last question.

"Woah, Woah, Woah. Hold on! One question at once! I can't even remember them. Well, if you really want to know we live 30 minutes from here. We moved here at least four years ago."

"With whom?" He asked while he slowly stood up and leaned on the railing of the balcony beside you.

"With my brother and sister. Woah, now just with my brother, cause Isabelle went to uni. And for that husband topic...I haven't really had any proper relationship, there were mostly jerks, dumps, and idiots, in that order." You looked down and laughed at how miserable you were with relationships. "Also looking after my sister and sometimes my brother is just like having a baby." He chuckled. "And what about you?"

"I have a sister, called Susie and three..."

"Brothers?" You asked back not letting him finish his sentence. Mick already regretted intending to mention his children so it was a good come out.

"Yeah, sure." He said before taking a sip of his booze. He stood closer to you so his shoulder was touching yours. Mick met many girls during his life who were pretty and kind, but when he saw you in the office acting nervous, he knew you will completely turn upside down his whole life.

You hummed from the slight touch and leaned your head on his shoulder. You were admiring the view of the city night and the peaceful quiet. Then something crossed your mind like thunder during a storm.

"Holy shit." You cursed thinking he will kill you.

"What is it?" Mick asked worryingly.

"I forgot to call him, my brother. He will kill me. Sorry, but I gotta go."

"Okay, I will wait here." Mick sighed and thought he fucked it up this time. Maybe this touch and personal questions just scared you away. You headed towards the phonebooth downstairs. You felt terrible leaving Mick there all alone, but your brother must be worried sick, not knowing a thing about you.

You found a phone in the kitchen which was not that quiet. Cool. It ranged at least a million times until he picked it up.

"What kind of meeting lasts for more than 3 hours? I worried sick. Where are you?" He ranted on the phone. He was pretty angry.

"I'm so sorry, Dylan. Time just flew. Currently, I'm in a house party near to the office. It's a so-called after meeting party. Sounds ridiculous, I know." You smiled on the phone.

"Sure, it does. But you aren't drinking, are you? I hope you remember...that thing."

"Yeah I remember and you don't have to remind me all the time. And I'm sober. Anyway, Mick is asking of you."

"So...becoming invisible mission failed?"

"It fucking did."

"Who are you talking to, my dear?" A strangely familiar voice echoed from your back so you turned around. Vince. Dear Satan give you enough strength to handle him.

"Hey, Dylan I have to go, but I will set off soon, I promise. See ya later." And without waiting for his respond you hung up. After putting back the phone you glared at him, not in a mood for his attempts.

"What do you want, Vince?" You asked while heading back to poor Mick.

"Just a kiss from a rose." He stepped in front of you and put his fingers under your chin.

"No way, man! You are wasted and I'm not enough wasted to kiss you. So, please let me go." You wanted to walk beside him back to Mick, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled closer to him. Mick went back to the room and was about to leave this party since he supposed you weren't coming back. It was too long now for just a telephone conversation.

"It's just a kiss. From me. From the fucking lead singer of Mötley fucking Crüe." He whispered in your ear.

"But asshole, I don't give a damn of who you are. And get your hands off me!" You were about to walk away but he crushed his lips on yours. You immediately moved away and punched him in the face. He fell to the floor and held his hand on his face.

"You BITCH! You hit me!!" You stood there in complete shock, not believing what you just did. Everyone was staring at you. Your hand hurt like hell and you just wanted to be somewhere else.

"I'm so sorry. I should...go." You ran out of the bar and got on your bike.

"Hey, (Y/N)! Please wait!" Mick yelled from the door and was approaching you. "Where are you going?"

"Didn't you see what I did? I punched Vince. Actually, he is my boss. I fucked it up." You sighed and was gripping the hand clutch so strong your hand was already white.

"In that case, I'm your boss, too. And what did he do? I just saw that he is on the floor and you are running out."

"He...he tried to kiss me. I told him to stop and go away but he didn't. And after all, he did it and I got furious and hit him." You took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. Mick didn't know what to think at first, he was just amazed at how badass you were and angry as hell about Vince.

"Don't worry. He is so drunk he won't even remember it in the morning." Mick tried to chill you down.

"Are you sure? But what Doc will think? He is angry I guess..." You murmured.

"I think he didn't even notice it. And he won't care if Vince will go to him and cry like a girl who just broke her nails."

You chuckled. He stepped closer and you hugged him. You didn't know why you just needed someone to comfort you. He didn't move for a second. Later he hugged you back and rubbed your back. Mick wanted that moment to last forever, though it felt like a minute. Your strong grip, your smell and your hair in his face were just perfect. You were just perfect.

"Thank you for always being there when I need the most." You wiped your tears away and felt awkward." Sorry, this might sound strange." You sniffed.

"Hey, it's okay and I understand." A long pause and awkward silence. "So is this your bike? It looks badass." He took a look at your bike.

"Yap, it's mine. And thanks. I worked a lot to get it. But it worthed." You looked in the distance for a while. You thought about Vince and that you may have to look for a new job and had to leave Mick.

You screwed it up. 

Next chapter

Tags: @cmft-jr-winchester  @leatherandheels​

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2015

This is the last list that was kind of difficult to do and where some cuts had to be made. The next four ones weren’t very good years music-wise and generally speaking.

Also there’s something that embarrasses me even more than Blue (Eiffel 65) somewhere on this top ten. Oops.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2015 was a bit calmer, apart from the fact I moved out of the appartment and bought one instead of renting one. This is still where I’m living nowadays, it’s not big but having no landlord is a LOT less stressful even if it will take a long time to pay the loan (one time the lock broke and I couldn’t get out and the landlord refused to fix it OR pay for a new lock if I decided to call someone to fix it ; another time someone who had a spare key opened the door while I was wearing a bathrobe and was like “oh. You’re here” and I was like “...I mean..... yeah.... 'cause I live here”). I also made new friends online that year and felt less isolated.

Sidenote, my first “flat” mp3 player’s battery died today but after a quick emergency operation I was able to save the data on it. I used that mp3 player from roughly 2008 to 2013 so that’s a relief, it kinda has sentimental value and I was still using it to listen to DW audios nowadays from time to time.

As you can see in the first picture, my super old portable cd player, which still works fine, by the way, is judging this little amateur so hard right now.

So! This is the year Faithless dropped Faithless 2.0, 21 Pilots dropped Blurryface, Mylène Farmer dropped the surprisingly quite good (for this point in her career) Interstellaires, and Carly Rae Jepsen dropped E MO TION, which would have been my favorite album of the year... if Nightwish hadn’t made the absolutely jawdropping Endless Forms Most Beautiful. A symphonic metal concept album about Earth and evolution and the place of humanity in the universe?? Excuse me? Who’s read my christmas list? My favorite songs on it are Alpenglow, Shudder Before The Beautiful, the title track, Edema Ruh which has the best intro, and of course The Greatest Show On Earth, which is an incredibly ambitious, kinda bloated and quite pretentious (in a good way) song about the history of Earth, looking back from a future where mankind is extinct and concluding “we were here”, and holy shit I get emotional every time, and it’s 24 minutes long, and I still never get bored when I relisten to it. Just amazing.

As far as unelligible songs that piss me off go, it’s all Carly Rae Jepsen: I Really Like You, and especially Run Away With Me. If they had been elligible, that last one would be my #1, definitely.

Here’s some... uh, a lot of honorable mentions, actually.

Budapest (George Ezra) and Chandelier (Sia) - Still elligible, still not on the list.

Cheerleader (OMI) - I have no idea why people dislike this song.

Ex’s and Oh’s (Elle King) - This is one of these songs that would be higher on the list if I had better taste. I still like it a lot though.

FourFiveSeconds (Rihanna, Kanye West, Paul McCartney) - Ditto.

You Know You Like It (DJ Snake) - Great drop. The rest is meh.

Miracle (Julian Perretta) - The opposite of the previous one ; a fantastic song let down by its drop.

Uma Thurman (Fall Out Boy) - This song makes absolutely no sense but it’s a lot of fun nonetheless.

Lean On (Major Lazer) - Super overplayed but holy shit this is incredibly catchy. The bridge is especially great.

Want to want me (Jason Derulo) - If this guy had that kind of song in him why does he suck most of the time. What happened.

Hundred Miles (Yazz) - Nice earworm that never got annoying.

Are you with me (Lost frequencies) - Basically a less good version of Waves from the previous year. This is a compliment.

Ain’t Nobody (Felix Jaehn) - And this is the less good version of Rather Be from the previous year. This is also a compliment.

Laissez Passer (Maître Gims) - When I started to check French hit songs from years where I basically wasn’t listening to the general local radio anymore, some friends told me they were grabbing popcorn and waiting for me to start hating some specific acts. Maître Gims was one of them. To their disappointment, I love just about every non-love, non-breakup hit song he’s ever made. Oops.

Love Me Harder (Ariana Grande & The Weeknd) - It took me ages to like The Weeknd but this song helped a lot. This just sounds fantastic regardless of the content (just saying this because I have a tendency to dislike stuff like that). He isn’t even the best singer of the two on this track, wow.

Millionnaire (Soprano) - In a worse year, this would make the list without question. The lyrics aren’t that original but still very good (love the line “remplis-moi les poches d’espoir” (fill my pockets with hope)) and the melody is just beautiful.

On écrit sur les murs (Kids United) - If you recall I put the original version of this on my 1990 list because I liked the Kids United version a lot and also had nothing else to put at the 10th spot on the 1990 list. The fact that I don’t even have enough space for the better version on this list says a lot about how abysmal 1990 was, music-wise.

And now, the actual list!

10 - Centuries (Fall Out Boy)

US: #43 / FR: Not on the list

Why are these guys still on my lists.

No, seriously. Why. This is yet another song that would be better if it was faster. And the sample is badly used. So I have no idea why it works. One of these days I’ll have to reevaluate Fall Out Boy’s entire discography, take a good look at myself, and admit I possibly like this band and that I’ve been lying to myself for like 15 years... but today is not that day.

9 - Sapés Comme Jamais (Maître Gims)

US: Not on the list / FR: #10

Told you I liked Maître Gims!

Listen. It’s not my place to comment on the ethics of the whole La Sape movement (which can be summarised as “modern black dandies trying to get the most expensive & beautiful clothes possible”) but you have to admit it’s super cool to have a more energetic and fun version of Suit And Tie. God, that beat. And it’s a ton of fun to sing along with the chorus! And it’s such a convincing song when it’s combined with the music video, you kinda want to look as cool and confident as these guys.

Also quick shoutout to the Sapeuses. Absolute legends & queens, every last one of them.

8 - Style (Taylor Swift)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

That year my s.o went to a party I didn’t want to go to and came back home completely drunk & way too late, crashed on the couch and started to ramble about how “Style” by Taylor Swift had a better sound mixing than the entirety of Epica’s latest album at the time and how amazing it was. For like half an hour.

I completely agree, just to clarify.

7 - Cool For The Summer (Demi Lovato)

US: #53 / FR: Not on the list

In what is possibly the least controversial opinion on this entire list: I love Cool For The Summer, the melody is great, the lyrics are good, the singing is the best, and you all know that and you all love this song, so yeah. Moving on to-

Oh god here comes #6. Oh shit. Oh no.

Can’t we just skip it and pretend-

6 - Animals (Maroon 5)

US: #46 / FR: Not on the list

So. I.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

How can I justify this bullshit.

The truth is: I can’t. Not really. I’m not even entirely sure what happened here. I hate this band and have always hated them, from the start. The lyrics are painfully stupid. The singing is as atrocious as ever. The “AWOOOOO” bit on the bridge is absolutely ridiculous. None of Levine’s “oh look at me I’m so dangerous” act remotely works. There isn’t a single thing I find competent here apart from the melody. I mean it. I’m not saying any of this to look cool. If I wanted to look cool, this certainly wouldn’t be on the list.

But you know what, the sheer incompetence on display here may be exactly why I like it. If it was a credible serial killer song written like an upbeat pop song, it would be disturbing and unlistenable. But the way it’s made, it simply sounds stupid, so you keep imagining some sort of inoffensive nerd pretending he’s a horrible monster (and failing) whenever you hear it. And that, I think, is what pushes it squarely into the “so bad it’s f█cking fantastic” territory, where it joins Butterfly from my 2001 list.

That sounds about right.

5 - Adventure of a Lifetime (Coldplay)

US: Not on the list / FR: #29

I haven’t mentioned A Head Full of Dreams in that year’s albums, because it came out at the very end of 2015 so I mostly consider it to be a 2016 album. It’s not as good as Mylo Xyloto, and not as consistant as Ghost Stories, but it contains some real gems. Adventure of a Lifetime isn’t nearly my favorite song on it, and I still put it super high here. I love the lyrics in particular (”under this pressure, under this weight, we are diamonds taking shape” oh damn) but the song itself just makes you want to move. I literally can’t listen to it without at least moving my head in rhythm a little bit. It’s nearly as colorful as the album cover. And it’s a joy to sing along the “woooohooooo”s!

4 - Stolen Car (Mylène Farmer & Sting)

US: Not on the list / FR: #61

This is Stolen Car (Take Me Dancing), from Sting (2004), rewritten as a half English half French duet where it’s unclear if the female singer is the imaginary lover or the car in the story. You might want to re-read that sentence.

What did I say on a previous list? Ah yes, “I see a duet between two singers I like and I die instantly”. This is also the last time Mylène Farmer is going to appear on one of my lists. I could say “self care”, but I genuinely don’t like any of her more recent hits, at all. Whatever. She’s been on these lists since the very first one (1988) anyway.

It’s been a wild ride, to say the least.

3 - Shut Up And Dance (Walk the Moon)

US: #6 / FR: Not on the list

And for the second least controversial opinion on this list: despite the massive overplay, I never EVER got tired of this, it’s colorful, energetic, super fun, and it’s still on my mp3 player to this day. Just a fantastic song. And a great band! I wish One Foot had been elligible for a future list, it’s super good. Aw.

2 - Ego (Willy Williams)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

This is a song about a guy who imagines himself as this super cool elegant dude, but when he looks at himself in the mirror he hates everything he’s seeing.

I know this isn’t supposed to be a song about gender dysphoria but my god is this shit relatable.

To make things even better, it’s served by creepy music box sounds ala The Birthday Massacre and by an untouchable, strange beat. It’s a dark, weird song, but it’s all kinds of wonderful and catchy as hell, and apparently I’m not the only one to think that considering the mindboggling number of views on the youtube music video. Watch it if you haven’t seen it, it’s hypnotic and makes the song even better.

I only discovered this song last year but I’ve listened to it so much since then I really debated if this should be at the #1 spot. It’s just... so horribly relatable.

But you know what’s even more relatable?

Being broke and sad and still trying to have the time of your life.

1 - Downtown (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

US: #84 / FR: Not on the list

Some people call this Thriftshop 2.0 but I think it’s even better than Thriftshop, which was, if you recall one of my previous lists, already pretty damn good in my opinion.

As you probably already know, it’s a song about a guy buying a moped and bragging about him and his friends, and their mopeds, and how cool they look when they ride downtown on their mopeds. I never owned a moped in my life. But I have a super small & shitty car which I love very much and so it’s very relatable. Also I’ve never written the word ‘moped’ so often in a single paragraph before in my life.

I love every single person who sings on this track. I love the music video. I’ve been trying to match the flow of the second verse ever since it came out and I still can’t do it with my shitty accent. It’s full of weird and corny lines, but that’s also why I love it so much. The dialogue at the beginning! “Dope, my crew is ill, and all we need is two good wheels”! “Head into the dealership and drop a stack and cop a Kawasaki, I'm stunting on everybody, hella raw, pass the wasabi”! “My seat is leather, alright, I'm lying, it's pleather / But girl, we could still ride together / You don't need an Uber, you don't need a cab / F█ck a bus pass, you got a moped man”!! “Cut the bullshit / Get off my mullet / Stone washed, so raw / Moped like a bullet - NYAOOOOOO”!! “Running around the whole town / Neighbors yelling at me like, "You need to slow down." / Going thirty-eight, Dan, chill the f█ck out / Mow your damn lawn and sit the hell down”!!! Oh shit, I basically quoted one third of the song. I just. Ugh. I love it so much, okay?

Cringe culture is dead and we peed on its grave. We spend enough time in our lives feeling miserable. Like what you like. Even if it’s super ridiculous. No: especially if it’s super ridiculous. Live a little, damn it.

Next up: The Year Everything Went Wrong Except Pop Music