#cause I listen to so much stuff
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Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂
One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-
Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!
Twitter Link
#pokemon#Trainer Lyra#Pokemon hgss#Lyra pokemon#Art#Her team is actually inspired by my SacredGold run btw! Hence why she has a Glaceon ha ha#(and she has a Farigiraf and Phanpy as well but I forgot to put them sorry)#pokemon timeskip#hgss#-points at her- they don’t know she’s my favorite (next to dawn)#I love her design so much she’s so hello Kitty ok she’s sooooo strawberry shortcake alright#Minnie mouse looking ass I love her so fucking much#she and silver are married cause I said so#it’s actually vague in my verse if she’s the npc role btw cause she DOES have the hgss mom and Ethan has the GSC mom! Also I’m super biased#Kris is the only one who’s truly a npc lol (lab assistant)#My ethan is a blend of npc Ethan and gold so my Lyra is a bit of Pokemas Lyra but also my own hcs if that makes sense#Also she and Kris are sisters!!! V important!!!! They are hello Kitty and Mimi to me if you compare the two I’ll explode you with my mind!!#gotta upload my art on tumblr but I’m lazy as hell lmfao#anyways uhhhhh#Hanamaru kunikida vibes for her btw…. please listen to Akogare Ranraran for full Lyracore vibes for this image thx#ALSO…. LISTEN TO LOVELY LOVELY STRAWBERRY BY KUBO YURIKA FOR MAXIMUM VIBES OF MY LYRA INTERPRETATION THX#Ok bye lol#Ally draws stuff
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Thinking bout rain world again
#rain world#five pebbles#rw saint#ooohh what a game#anyhow some siliee doodles while i mentally brace for posting soem bigger stuff#ugh#also saint is unfairly fun to draw for being the söugcat caompain i dont preffer#but you knwo how it is you know#anyhow!#we are listening to tomorrow by tylor the creator again btw cause uts good#also man trying to axtually pist is hard huh weird. i do have soem more stuff planned but we see if i get there#sighs longingly in rain world itetor oc#also het anyone here knwo how region modding and stuff eorks? soemthing is going weong so if you wanna uh uh yes give me a call 👍👍#anyhow yeah have a lovely day whoevers reading :)))#!!!#my art#hmmm still gotta post my stamp for the hermitpost zine....#and i hahe rhis comic i have....and my ocs....and alsso some art i did for a game....#so much to post huh#fucked up
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e2ea8dda6f5616e0d990e7cdb07aca1e/703aadd19652c92a-f7/s540x810/eaf28cb87c4b1f64e89184f940abb98fd4cbbef2.jpg)
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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briar in a modern fit bc i love clothes. also some fan skins i made for fun for the same reason. cafe cuties one is kinda old but ill shove it here anyway..
#briar#briar lol#lol briar#briar league of legends#league of legends#league of legends fanart#briar fanart#briar fanskin#lol fanart#lol#art#cafe cuties i made just cause i want them to make her a chef in a skinline sometime#just like a chef that eats everything in the kitchen#and everything is always a mess#i think it'd be silly#sweetheart is just a touch up of a design i drew on valentines for her earlier this year#just cause i love lovecore things#other one is a fan skin for a fan line i have that fits into the riot records universe#like k/da heartsteel pentakill etc#i need to finish the other members#really wanted to give her goth fashion#cause i feel like she'd actually wear that kinda stuff and listen to the music and such#the music genre of the group would most likely be metal with goth influences? am unsure#ergg i hate posting concepts sometimes#but like i dont see much briar fanart/fanskins so#hopefully theres like 1 other briar fan who likes these#main drawing is just purely fashion and not a fan skin idea at all designed it months ago you can see i reused the necklace idea later#yapping in tags#oh also sorry for inconsistency in her face LOL im working on it
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#iirc the datv embargo lifts in a few hours time#its exciting for sure!! ◕‿◕#(theres some good info out there about what u can expect etc)#everyones level of comfort/preference for spoilers or what they consider/dont consider spoilers or do/dont want to see beforehand#is different and thats valid#for me rn my pref is not seeing much more of the game than i have so far so i will probably not be watching/reading most of those bits of#coverage which are described as 'spoilery' due to this#im just at a stage personally where in the main the last thing I'd like to see now is just a good look at the CC and the CC options#and then just any of the more 'generic' stuff like any new official screenshots that get tweeted or if theres one more trailer or something#(know what i mean? maybe generic is the wrong word but like vague or general or something). and thats about it#so if i'm quieter on here or not postin about sth new that you've seen or focusing more on less-new stuff like V&V eps i didnt get a chance#to listen to yet or i dont know the answer to something etc thats why ^^#i've turned off asks and submit as well jic#sry for any inconvenience caused by that and for not following/posting everything in the coming weeks hh!!#its like a push and pull between wanting to be hyped with everyone/overanalyze every new crumb/wanting my blog to be useful and#not wanting to know much more about the game besides CC than i do atm hh#ultimately we will only get to go into this game and play this game for for the first time once so yea :D#(and in case it helps to know for your own curation purposes my datv spoilers tag is 'dragon age the veilguard spoilers'!!)#mj and the world
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Blue Skies~!
Recently replayed the portal series after years of not playing it and now I’m sucked back in to my obsession of this series. It’s sooooo gooooood! So I did a doodle to celebrate me getting back intoy obsession with Portal! There’s a bit of a reference to a certain *cough cough* popular fanfic-
#portal#portal 2#portal chell#portal fanart#portal 2 fanart#chell fanart#companion cube#I love this game so much like holy shit#I use to be freakin obsessed with this game#come home from school to just replay portal 1 & 2 everyday#need to rewatch the musical version and harry101uk’s stuff#definitely need to reread blue sky cause that shit is fire#portal blue sky#the animatic to blue sky was another thing that made me want to be an artist#I can’t listen to Mr. Blue Sky without thinking about portal and then crying from nostalgia#that fanfic and ship had me in a chokehold and still does-
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i feel like if someone actually brought me flowers or danced with me or cooked with me i would cry
#i want it so bad#i just really want a girlfriend#and i feel so disconnected and i know people hang out with me but they dont do it cause they like me#they do it cause i wont leave them alone if they are even a little nice to me cause im a pathetic lonely crybaby#even my best friend doesnt listen to me talk about stuff i like all that much#and i listen to her talk about her stuff all of the time#i just really want affection from someone my own age#my utterly fascinating life
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Finished listening to the audiobook of Conclave.
No fucking turtles 😡
#aside from turtle erasure I liked it#because its text rather than visuals we get a more thorough look at Lomeli/Laurence’s internal struggles#the scene before the final ballot#when tedesco fully goes mask off even to his followers and benitez speaks up#it’s way more impactful in the book imo#that post comparing the scenes is why I finally listened to the audiobook#I think it’s way more impactful in the book#and it’s shitty that they omitted calling out american imperialism causing the death and suffering of so many people#especially because a lot of the dialogue in the film is directly pulled from the book!#like damn it’s a pretty damn faithful adaptation#but yeah if you like the movie check out the book because it’s p much the same but more thorough#because we get the thoughts of Lomeli/Laurence rather than just follow him as an observer#it’s more clear to the audience that from his pov all the stuff that happens and how it ends is because it’s god’s will#like I have to remind my agnostic brain that to them and by extension the narrative of the story is because god and the late pope#were like this is how it’s gonna go down#it’s not playing by the same rules of a political thriller or whatever even though it seems like that on the surface because duh#conclave#conclave 2024#robert harris
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Damn these twinks built completely identical huh, wonder what that’s about
#cw sh#isat#isat fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat spoilers#isat odile#isat isabeau#anyway I don’t think loop wanted to wear clothes but Bonnie mentioned how weird the fact they were ‘naked’#and like idk loop has the most fragile ego and cares so much about the child liking them that this needed to be fixed IMMEDIATELY#they would us the opportunity to request 2 inch heels to be taller than siffren (since sif has like 1 inch heels) and uh it’s been a while#their ass keeps like stumbling on rough terrain and REFUSES to acknowledge it or else they get sensitive#anyway unrelated odile clocks the loop siffren thing so fast but she’s never the one discovering information#other party members will accidentally prompt some information out of them and Odile like snaps her neck in the suitable direction to listen#also odile is helping sif either fully remove or swap out their bandages because god am I definitely normal about the act 5 glass dialogue#I thinks odile helps with sifs injuries :) I think she reminds him to like put stuff on his eye scar cause bitches forgetful
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(context for watcher/listener!sausage can be found in the “videos” tag on my blog if you want it, but this ficlet can be read without said context)
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“Y’know, of all the Hermits I was expecting to be pulling me into a dark corner tonight, I did not expect you to be first, Grian! I love the initiative!”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” Grian says in a voice near a hiss. He’s got Sausage by the wrist, leading him into a small area of the upper floor of the tavern in Sanctaury that does look like it was built for the exact purpose Sausage is implying. Grian decides to ignore that as well.
“What are you doing here?” Grian’s straight to the point. He always has to be, with these Things, if he doesn’t want to get trapped in a loop of slant rhyming pleasantries.
“What do you mean?” Sausage asks, shaking his wrist out of Grian’s tight grip and leaning comfortably against the wall. “This is where I live. It’s my home. If anything, I should be asking you mysterious strangers what you’re doing here, but I’m sure you’ve heard that question enough for one day.”
“You know exactly what I mean.” Grian crosses his arms and tries his best not to look petulant, but he sure feels like it. “I thought They’d given up on trying to snatch me back, so why would They send you of all people? What’s your game?”
Sausage laughs, honest to god laughs, like he can’t believe Grian’s even asking him such a question. Grian thinks it’s a reasonable question, in this scenario, but what he thinks and what’s reasonable rarely seems to matter with these things.
“They didn’t send me,” Sausage looks him up and down in that way that makes Grian have to physically stop himself from curling inwards. This is why he never talks to Them. “Nobody sends me anywhere, they don’t tell me what to do and I like it that way! I just do my own thing. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“No you’re not! You’re not- you can’t be! That’s not how this works!” Grian begins to notice that he’s no longer whisper-shouting and starting to just-normal-shout and takes a deep breath, trying not to draw the attention of his friends enjoying themselves on the floor below. And, realistically, in the other dark corners Sausage seems to have built into this place.
“That’s exactly how this works. You didn’t think you were the only person who’d left, did you?”
Grian opens his mouth, closes it, and thinks. In hindsight… yeah, he had kind of assumed he’d been the only person who’d left. Not for lack of trying, probably- but They’d tried for so long to get him back, kept him closely surveilled even when They’d accepted he was gone- surely some people had caved to that pressure eventually. When there was no sign They’d ever let up, ever let you go… he could understand eventually letting it overtake you.
“Did- did you leave, too?” Grian doesn’t remember the last time he saw Sausage’s face. He didn’t know him back then, of course. He probably would’ve connected the man with the person Pearl so often spoke about sooner. But he knows it’s been a long time, maybe even longer than the last time Grian had gone There. He doesn’t think Sausage had been There, that day. This might explain why.
“Eh, not quite?”
“What-“ Grian flails, both mentally and with his arms a bit. “What do you mean not quite?”
“Exactly what I said! I was never- it’s complicated, y’know?”
“Explain. Now.”
“Well, uh,” Sausage seems to flounder for the first time since this conversation started, which Grian is choosing to take as a victory. “Look, I wasn’t- they didn’t pick me. For this, or for anything, ever. Sometimes things just happen and you get yourself into a place you shouldn’t have and then… they can’t get rid of me, I can’t get rid of them, it is what it is.”
Grian stares at him for a long moment. Really stares at him, in the same way Sausage had looked him over earlier, in the same way that makes you feel like you’re under a microscope. Judging by the sudden nerves in his eyes, Grian can assume he feels it too. Grian remembers his face. That had been the first thing he’d noticed, when the Hermits had arrived. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other, but Grian knew his face. And now that Grian was studying him, really trying to remember… he’s not sure he quite likes what memories he’s dredging up.
“What are you?”
“Grian!” Sausage’s voice drips with mock offense as he puts his hand up to partially cover his mouth. “We only just met, do you think that’s polite?”
“Answer the question,” Grian sighs. How Pearl deals with this man on the regular, he doesn’t know.
“Well, if you insist.” Sausage sighs, somehow even more exaggerated than his previous movements. “It’s just… if you’ll believe it, it’s somehow even harder to answer the first question.”
“It shouldn’t be,” Grian says. “They’re two very different People, you know.”
“But they’re the same species, when it all comes down to it. Like, you might be very different than a chicken, but you’re both birds in the long run.”
Grian pauses, fanning his wings out a bit behind him as he considers. “I don’t think that metaphor’s quite landing the way you want it to.”
“No, me neither. Anyways, let me continue.
When they don’t pick you, things go a little differently! You don’t get sorted onto one side or the other since, well, you’re not really supposed to be there? So I’m… whatever I want to be, really. I think I’m feeling like more of a Listener, today, but we’ll see how the mood shifts.”
Grian flinches at the Name, on instinct. He doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he files it away to be dealt with at a later date. As for the rest of what Sausage said-
“What?”
“You heard me.” Sausage shrugs. He’s so nonchalant, Grian thinks he might strangle him, if not for the worry that that’s exactly what he wants out of this, somehow.
“Did I? Did I hear you?” Grian wants to pace, but that requires leaving the security of the corner, so he forces his feet to root themselves to the floor. “I thought- I thought you had to- if you wanted to change sides, I thought you had to-“
Grian closes one eye and takes his thumb to it, twisting the finger into his eyelid. The gesture seems to get the point across.
“Well, that’s the funny thing about this, actually.” From the way he’s been talking, Grian assumed Sausage thought this whole thing was funny. He restrains himself from saying that out loud if only so Sausage will finish his explanation.
Sausage reaches up to his left eye, pulls his eye lid back a bit, and unceremoniously pops out his prosthetic eye.
“All these processes and rituals actually have a lot of loopholes.”
Grian doesn’t know what face he’s making, but it’s enough to make Sausage giggle while he pops the eye back in. Because of course he does. Because this how his day is going, apparently. Walk through a weird portal in his basement and wake up in a world filled with his friends who don’t recognize him and also a guy he only ever saw There, who he was never supposed to see again. Sure. Of course he’s laughing about it. Grian thinks if he was a slightly different person, he’d be laughing too. It is, undeniably, absurd.
“Well, I think we’re done here then!” Grian would probably object if he weren’t so shocked about the loopholes. As it is, he just stands there a bit stupidly.
Sausage turns away to return to the party before turn around again for just a moment, reaching over, and ruffling Grian’s hair. That shocks him enough to shake him out of his stupor and swat Sausage’s hand away, though not before his hair is suitably messed up.
“What was that for?!”
Sausage smiles as he reaches up to rough up his own hair as well. “I assumed you didn’t want your friends asking questions about why you were dragging me into a dark corner, you know?” Sausage even goes far enough to pull his shirt a bit out of where it’s tucked into his pants, because of course he does. Grian tries not to cringe, but Sausage is right about this one thing. It is the easiest way to dodge any questions about where he’d gone off to- at the expense of the many knowing looks and teasing remarks he’ll be getting from the other Hermits instead.
“Have a good night, Grian!” Sausage calls over his shoulder as he turns to leave for real this time. “And remember, drinks are on me for all you guests tonight! You look like you need it.”
#empires smp#hermitcraft#grian#mythicalsausage#hermitfic#empiresfic#long post#my writing#….do i need to tag shipping on this#they’re not actually DOING anything. and i would say i’m not really going much further than sausage usually does#but like. idk man. if i wake up in the morning and decide i need to tag shipping i will#anyways. fics for an audience of like two people total#but that’s ok cause i like this SO MUCH#the first few sentences have been rotting in my tumblr drafts for like at least two months#and i finally kicked myself into gear to just finish it#and i had fun! i liked the way i used capitalization here to really wedge the difference between how these two think of the watchers#(and listeners)#grian doesn’t necessarily respect them but he does still see them as Other. and he’s maybe a little afraid#so all the important stuff gets capitalized#sausage doesn’t. he doesn’t respect them and he doesn’t fear them and they’re just a weird bureaucracy to him#so no capitalization!#also ten seconds after posting this i got a post on my dash#of sausage posting a screenshot of e’s tumblr post about him checking tumblr in their twitter replies#terrifying. hey king if you see this keep the bit up. i think it’s funny#my art
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they are going to mehnahnaroo
#my art#mission to zyxx#C-53#pleck decksetter#dar mtz#ok time for some of my appearance headcanons#i was just gonna give c little dot eyes but i was goofing around with the doodle#and i was like. oh actually little light up ocular sensors that look like 👁️👁️ are kinda funny#i'm kinda trying to hit the space where the juck bot frame could conceivably have the same inner workings as the c frame#but it's got more like. idk plating and synthetic skin and stuff#i also think that ideally this type of frame is supposed to be more fully covered? with skin. less visible joints#and is supposed to have a cooler better looking face#but they got it at a discount store that sorta refurbished it juuuuuuust well enough to sell#they also mention in the show that the eyes glow and the jaw comes off#if there were any other details i forgot about them#i like tellurians to be Pretty Much Human#but I do like the pointy ears interpretation for one main reason:#i can put perfect little pointy ones on tellurians that are the Standard for good looks (rolphus etc.)#and give pleck ones that are slightly larger and a little bent. i just think that's fun#i'm also a short pleck truther and do not believe he is skinny. that man is at least midsized. actually probably just midsized#cause if he were too big he would be too cool#ohh and first time drawing the k'hekk eye yayyyy. it should probably be nastier but i can only do so much#dar i really imagine round cause it's like the classic Big Guy shape and they have no bones in their head so it can't be that structured#bodywise my design is def inspired by tikkitronictonic and snuffysbox's designs#i was at a total loss on how to interpret the talons and chutes and flaps when I was listening and this is easy and smooth#maybe the only major difference is that i imagine dar is pretty hygienic and furry scales feel like they'd be hard to keep clean#with all the uh. goings on#so i've got those across the chest and arms and then the torso is smoother in my mind#also ik dar is supposed to be like twice pleck's size but it's hard to stand these people next to each other#my brother said they made up a thing called mass shifting in transformers g1 to excuse the scale issues. so i'll do it too. get off my case
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gamers i am NOT smart enough to understand bvz i need someone to explain every episode to me like i’m 5😭😭
#‘b-but rowan’ you say ‘things will (probably idk know this for sure) make so much sense if you watch the other stuff’#and to that i say yeah probably but there soooo much 😭#but also like idfk whats going on on such a local scale that its breaking my brain#maybe i just need to understand wtf this universe is cause holy shit im so lost agdjsb#aND WHY THE FUCK ARE WE CALLING THE LISTENER KARMOR SOMEONE EXPLAINNNN#gba#bastards vs zombies#good boy audios
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People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.
#very much so#tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks#listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point.#you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it.#‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July.#‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others.#‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one#‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans#I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next?#sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway).#idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t#mean it when you said sleep token was important to you.#like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks.#but I know this too shall pass#this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change#and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’#1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive!#2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing#I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love#I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show.#tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask#if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good.#he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck.#I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it.#idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.
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so i need a new podcast to listen to cause i’m caught up on everything i’ve been listening to and i wanna try listening to something new before i inevitably relisten to one of the same 5 podcasts that i’ve finished again
i was already considering this but especially in light of the latest tmagp episode being written by harlan guthrie …. i’m considering starting malevolent . i really liked this last episode of tmagp which gives me hope for liking harlan’s writing and it seems to me like there’s a lot of overlap of tma/tmagp fans and malevolent fans .. is that a fair assessment?
#do y’all support this? is there an overlap here or am i just imagining that?#i don’t know much about malevolent but people seems to like it#i just wanna listen to smth new cause i keep relistening to the same stuff#and i feel like if so many people like both my chances of liking malevolent are pretty good#gonna throw this in the tma and tmagp tags just cause i want opinions#tma#tmagp#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#malevolent
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Here's a reminder that ANDREW DOES HEAL AND LEARN TO FEEL. Nora never said that Andrew never heals or that he doesn't get less apathetic. She said the opposite, actually. If you don't like the extra content, that's fine, but please actually read it before deciding to spread the incorrect assumptions people have made up about it. Just because Andrew never gets to the point where he smiles and laughs all the time doesn't mean he doesn't heal.
(Also, Nora never said Andrew never smiles, just that it's hard to imagine, and if he did, it'd be with only Neil around)
#sorry i saw someone trying to claim that nora said andrew never heals again#i absolutely hate it when people say that cause it's just not true#the ec actually has some good stuff in it and i wish people would check it out and decide on their own whether or not they like it#instead of just listening to what others say about it (especially when theyre saying things that arent true)#anyway the ec is linked in the post#go check it out#ive linked all my sources so i can PROVE im not lying#sry im getting heated about this i just hate the misinformation#like i love aftg so much so people saying incorrect things about it rubs me the wrong way#especially when it's so easy to fact check it#this isnt me saying everyone should love all of the ec cause there are parts that i choose to ignore too#just give it a chance and take what you want and leave the rest#k im done now#justice for the extra content#aftg#all for the game#andrew minyard#andreil#nora sakavic#aftg extra content#extra content
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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