#catlander too!

[reveluving]

homelander thot—LET'S GO:

reader's the manager of the seven (& homelander's lil fwb) where a fancam of her goes viral to the point where the fans demand to see more of her or make an appearance on vought international and it takes homelander his entire soul not to track down and obliterate the comments he's seen that ranges from 'she's so fucking pretty wtf' to ''I'm sorry for using your name in vain but DEAR LORD 😩' to 'MOTHER'????

like, oh you thought he's been pissy because you're getting more fame than him these past few weeks? no!

he's losing his mind because of the wild comments and even edits of you, even though they're just a 30-second footage of you wishing america a happy new year on vought news network???

like, yeah look extra hot in that suit and your bright, million-dollar smile but if anyone's gonna do the staring to the point of undressing you with their eyes (though he won't ever admit it), it's him; the fucking homelander—

(but he also saves the photos and edits tho, for 'research purposes' cuz yall already know)

[terresdebrume]

Part two of the Catland kiss incident (first draft, temporary title, currently being written a couple of paragraphs at a time)! I'm just going to continue tagging @stinastar and @kepodewers , everyone else click through:

🔗 General writing tag 🔗 Story tag 🔗 Part 1

Edwin haunts the streets of London for the rest of the night. He stalks through Camden Market and doesn't take any of it in, steps through pedestrians all over the tube, and provokes a small panic in that Underworld venue Charles likes so much when he circles the main area a bit too fast. It feels as if his feet are particularly intent on taking him to all of Charles' favourite spots: the food stalls and the music shops, that one bookshop in Soho that is so very out of order, the 'haunted house' they once helped clear of a family of barn owls that had been terrifying the neighborhood. Everywhere he goes, he finds reminders of Charles' place in his life: a street where they solved a case, the cemetery where they found that puppy Charles loved so much back in '94, the hospital from the case of the Grim Goblin in 2015... Everywhere Edwin goes, knives pierce at his heart, tear at his throat, burn at his eyes.

How did he not see this coming? They promised to have no secret for each other, after Port Townsend, so how could Edwin possibly have been so blind? Was he too centered on himself? Did he spend so much time trying to keep his feelings to himself that he missed this? He thought Charles hated the Cat King! He thought Charles had no interest in men! How could he have so badly misunderstood his dearest friend, the one creature in the entire world he never wished to be rid of? What else did Edwin not see? It took him over thirty years and the forceful intervention of the Night Nurse to realize Charles hated being dead, now this? What sort of friend does that even make him?

The overly hopeful sort. It takes Edwin time to come to this conclusion. More time than it should, perhaps. However, the unforgiving truth is... He had hoped. He didn't realize it until now, but there was a part of him that still hoped, until the very last moment, that perhaps Charles was facing a similar predicament to his. That his gentle refusal, his enthusiastic pursuit of Crystal and a number of female ghosts over the years, were but a trick, a mask he wore to protect himself from the cruelty of the world. Up until that evening, there was a part of Edwin that hoped perhaps, with time, Charles would change his mind. That he would turn towards him one day, smile the most brilliant of his smiles, and say 'Mate, I'm in love with you.' To be robbed of that hope by the very man who once drew Charles' ire? For a moment, less than the blink of an eye, Edwin thinks perhaps Hell was preferable.

He is immediately assaulted both by the knowledge that Hell was never and will never be preferable to anything, and a wave of disgust for himself so profound he finds himself gagging over the gutter, his nonexistent stomach intent on divesting itself of all the food Edwin hasn't been eating.

[so-am-smyme9540]

My sister's first impression of Lackadaisy

So I was showing my little sister Lackadaisy characters, and she came to the scientific conclusion that:

Rocky, Zib, and Wick aren't actually cats. They're wolves pretending to be cats, because they're spies.

Freckle and Viktor are tigers, but they don't have to pretend, because they're technically cats.

Serafine is apperently an artic fox, but no one cares because it's close enough, and Nico is a bear, but no one knows because they're too scared to talk to him.

Mordecai, Horatio, and Ivy are definetly normal cats. Just look at them!

• Mitzy isn't even an animal. She's just a lady wearing cat ears. But no one can say anything, because she's the Queen of Catland.

Also Horatio is the main character now, because he's her favorite.

....any of ya'll up for a new Lackadaisy AU, anyone?

[brightlotusmoon]

Nope. No thank you. That's too much. I think I saw Candyland in there. I definitely saw Catland.

It's missing the one with the Roman numerals, though.

[freezingsheep]

Ooh new victims!

I made some online escape games during lockdown. I think they might be the best thing I’ve ever made and they’re all free to play so please check them out if you like that sort of thing!

Would love to have nerdy chat about puzzle-making too :)

Acorn Cottage: Collaborative 2-player banana-themed game.

Escape From Catland: Help Dr Woofred Barker save us from being turned into cats! A longer game aimed at more experienced players.

NooZoo Park: This one is more of a silly/creepy self-hosted party game. For the designated gamesmaster only… the password to the NooZoo Park client entrance is BELIEVABLE (all caps).

Enjoy!

[lowtaxsa]

Catland Poundland Wars 4

Oh boy, where do I even begin with this steaming pile of mediocrity? Catland vs. Pounland Wars 2, the much-anticipated (and by much, I mean not at all) sequel to the first dumpster fire, is a perfect example of why some ideas should remain as late-night drunken musings and never see the light of day.

The plot, if you can even call it that, revolves around these two rival factions of anthropomorphic cats and dogs waging a pointless war over, I dunno, who gets to lick their own butts first? Honestly, I lost track of the so-called "story" about ten minutes in, and I'm pretty sure the creators did too.

The animation is so poorly done that I'm fairly certain it was outsourced to a kindergarten art class. I've seen better doodles on the margins of a high schooler's math homework. And the voice acting? Oh, the voice acting... I've heard more emotion in the automated voice of a GPS system.

In summary, Catland vs. Pounland Wars 2 is a cinematic abomination that makes you question the very existence of good taste. Save yourself the pain and suffering, and instead, watch paint dry or grass grow. Trust me, it'll be far more entertaining.

[mordenandmerry]

Go follow catland

My current favorite is too long

Ranking — ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Name: Too Long

Rank: Gold League

Stats: +3 shapeshifting, +2 audacity, -2 speed

Weakness: A windy day

[kjclfaller]

Personally I think hbomb should be in empires season 2

[married-to-google-translater]

Twisted Catland: mornings be like

*Mc walks in kitchen*

Grimm: Did you sleep well Mc?

Mc: No I didin't.

Grimm: Oh why? Maybe because you threw your cat friend coldly and brutally out of your sang so you can pay attention to those new furryballs.

Mc: *start making coffee* Grimm I had 20 cats in my bed. I didn't have time to sleep. They had to be patched up. Also it's really hot when they all try come sleep in my lap.

*Mc sit drink coffe*

Cat Rook: *Drops the dead bird in front of Mc and waits for praise.*

Mc: No. Bad cat. Not dead birds in this table

Cat Rook: What! Aren't you going to praise me? Mc you have become really cold. You praised me every time I was human.

Mc: Aaaaaw and meow meow meow you too.

Cat vil: Don't take it to the emotional rook. Come eat Grimm's tuna.

Cat Ace: Yeah it’s very good

Mc: Hi Grimm, can you interpret what those cats are saying?

Grimm: No I don't. I'm not talking about an "ordinary" cat. Because I'm too

Cat Malleus: Simple

Grimm: Special. *look Malleus* I don't know what ypu say but I am sure it was not nice.

Cat Ace: That was peretty good one Malleus.

Cat Malleus: Thank you. I need learn how to be sassy. *start rub Mc's feed*

Mc: I really don't think they're talking bad about you Grimm. Oh wait Lilia! NO! DON'T YOU DARE!

Cat Lilia: *Hanging head down on his tail* Mc you are very wrong

Mc: Don't you dare break law of psychics in the morning. *Mc take Lilia in them arms* Do you know what I need Grimm

Grimm: Yes! YOU NEED PROTECT MY TUNA!

Mc: No. I need more coffee. This is going to be a really busy day.

[catlandcomics]

Its cold up north so have some cozy sweater SK8 Dads ♡ p

•••☆•••

If you like my art consider supporting me on Ko-fi [Link Below]

I'm also accepting commissions right now :) Prices are listes on my Ko-fi but I accept orders through DM too.

[thedevillionaire]

💖 and ⛔ for the writing meme?

Certainly! 💕

💖 What made you start writing? 

Honestly? I’d love to know. My mum kept the first story I ever wrote, and I have it still. ME, AGED 6: ‘Sacrificed Superior’. “Killed by trying hard but not believed. Killer was Pokey Stick. He was cut right through his vains. Heavens Above.” And there’s a little picture of a graveyard. I tried to scan it but it’s laminated and faded, and didn’t come out legibly. But hey. Go, little future-goth me. No idea where ‘Pokey Stick’ came from. Good lord.   I invented a world called Catland when I was very, very young, too. It was also a soap opera, in many ways, but the people were, um, cats. Who were sort of a cat/human hybrid. But cats. Like, they had cat heads but walked on two legs and wore clothes. I set Catland in Russia, not because I knew a damn thing about Russia but because on the globe that my family had, it looked so big so surely there had to be a part of it that could be populated by cat...people...cats. And they had Many Adventures there.   So I don’t really know why I started writing, but I’ve been doing it for as long as I’ve been capable of it. I guess my answer is that reality has never satisfied me. I want worlds more of everything than here, and so I make them up. And I’ve never cared much whether it makes actual sense or not; I just want what I want, and I will ignore the hell out of physics and biology to get it. 😂 

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?   This one is answered here! 

[grimoire2020aa]

Witch Date Ideas for different Witches

Kitchen Witch

Go to a homey bakery and let them go on and on about all the ways to enchant blueberry muffins.

(NYC) Go to eataly and get some good ass pastries or prosciutto and other delicious dried cuts, just basically eat around Eataly or go to Dough. 

(NYC) Explore supermarkets in places like china town, ktown, (eataly is great too) and get new foods or ingredients for them to try out at home. 

(NYC) Load your pockets with dollars and take them to a street fair and try every food/snack stand they want. 

(NYC) If they like beer take them to good beer and have one of the guys explain the different brews. If they like mead take them to Honies.

Green Witch

Go to a botanical garden and point to the prettiest flower and say “that’s you”

Start a date by giving them a bouquet with a special message by using the Victorian language of flowers, or your own correspondences

If living together, go to a local nursery and choose flowers to plant together at your home.

(NYC) Take them to Flower power and offer to get them a gift that they please. 

(NYC) Also be their buffer to killing their wallet cause that’ll happen at flower power. 

(NYC) Take them to any botanical garden. During the winter the Brooklyn one is free. 

(NYC) Take them florist shopping.

(NYC) Take them to the Kava bar in the lower east side to feel great after drinking nonalcoholic kava cocktails. 

(NYC) Get lost in the north woods in Central Park.

Hedge Witch

(NYC) take them to the beautiful greenwood cemetery. 

(NYC) Buy them some skulls or antlers at Catland. 

(NYC) Go ghost hunting in some spooky ass places like the abandoned homes of Govenors island or The Dakota building, but if it gets too spooky then have a picnic on the island or by Central Park instead!

Go pumpkin, apple, strawberry, or any fruit picking, then use the fruits/vegetables in cooking/baking.

Cosmic Witch

Take them star gazing and come up with stories about planets falling in love.

Take a car out to a quiet, rural place and stargaze. Watch from a blanket on the ground or the top of the car. If you want, you can take a telescope.

I’d suggest oddities since they sell meteorite and other spacely things though it could be costly there. 

(NYC) Museum of natural history has a great space section and planetarium too. 

(NYC) Stargazing in NYC might be tricky but if you go up to fort Tyron you might have a beautiful view nonetheless!

Sea Witch

Go to the beach and help them look for sea shells. Help them carry all the ocean water home.

(NYC) Take the Q35 from Flatbush Ave (last 2,5 stop) to fort Tilden. It’s the best beach since it’s the cleanest and hardly no one is there. It’s serene and you’ll find tons of shells. 

(NYC) You can stay on the same bus as it will take you to Jacob Riis beach. I find the water there way less clean with tons of algae BUT the seashells there are phenomenal! Like as huge as ashtrays. So if it’s cold and you want to just go seashell hunting I’d vote for Jacob riis. 

(NYC) Swimming is better for fort Tilden. If it’s too cold for the beach take them to a boutique called Oddities. They sell beautiful seashells and other incredible magical things in that shop. 

(NYC) You can also take them to the museum of natural history and chill in that gorgeous aquatic room with the massive whale that every child feared would drop on their heads and crush them. It’s a beautiful space. 

Lunar Witch

Bathe in the full moon together

Graveyard/Death Witch

Go to a local cemetery on a nice day and talk about all the headstones that speak to you.

Getting relationship advice from other spirits. Or traveling to graveyards To do exploring.

take them to the oldest cemetery in the area and do headstone rubbings together

Go people watching at a cemetery. You look out for the living ones and they’ll keep an eye on the dead ones

Take them to your local graveyard and let them tell you about what the ghosts of those who are long gone whisper to them.

Picnic next to a graveyard or a place that has a strong connection to spirits

Crystal Witch

Going to crystal stores and giving them rose quartz, because love.

Let them tell you about their own crystal collection as you browse your local geology museum/crystal shop. Ask them questions about their properties, and maybe even the chemical makeup if they have a scientific streak. 

Go to a craft fair and buy a crystal/stone piece for your loved one. 

Go to a gem mine to try and find some crystals, rocks, or gems

Energy Witch

(NYC) Get them a session at the Woom center. Take them to the tarot society to pet crystals. The tarot society and Earth Arts center also has soundbaths from time to time. 

(NYC) Avoid Times Square at all costs especially if they are super empathetic. 

(NYC) Design a candle together at Enchantments.

Storm Witch

If you live in the Midwest and don’t have a very strong sense of self preservation (like most of the locals), take them on a tornado chase with you and make out after you survive.

Just play in the rain with them.

invite them over when it’s raining to sit inside and listen to the pitter patter on the windows while you watch movies. Have rainboots and a coat ready if don’t want to watch a movie or want to do something fun afterwards.

Drag them into the rain and dance!

Desert Witch

Road trip to your nearest friendly neighborhood mesas/weird rock formations. Bonus if you listen to them talk about the area’s folklore

Divination Witch

Swap readings take them some where they can try new decks.

Space Witch

Go to the observatory.

Stare at the constellations

Enjoy a picnic under the stars

Fire Witch

Take them to a huge bonfire (possibly around Beltane) where you can talk and dance and everything, then take some ashes when you're done for different rituals!

(NYC) Sometimes flower power has an herbal smokes class you guys could sign up for. The people that work there would be happy to help you pick out herbs for your own herbal smoking blend! You can also go there to pick out ingredients for loose incense! 

(NYC) Namaste on 14th also has an amazing selection of incense. You can buy them a cute and quirky candle at flying tiger or pick materials for candle making together at Michaels. In the summertime go to Roosevelt island and have a bonfire in one of the fire pit/grills.

Necromantic Witch

Take them to a graveyard. 

Earth Witch

Start by leaving them a hand written letter to meet you somewhere. Have that somewhere be a beautiful hidden spot in the forest or anywhere that has to do with nature. Pack her favorite foods and bring her favorite book and take her on a forest picnic. Read to her (or have her read to you) as you just sit and enjoy each other’s company and Mother Earth around you.

Music Witch

Take them to a concert or a musical. Watch them get a little more into the rhythms than everyone else.

Go find some music and perform with them

Get a bunch of their favorite music albums (DVD’s) and listen to them together with or with out food

Try to watch a street performance or walk around downtown

Ice/Snow Witch

Ice skating! Or start a snow ball fight with them

Try making synthetic snow and play with it

Play with them on a snowy day, then enjoy some hot coco or hot cider with cookies

Building a snow man or playing in the snow on a snowy day

Try going to a cold place or a snowboard/ski resort to enjoy the snow and exercise

Bath Witch

(NYC) Take them to king spa or sauna castle (Korean bath and sauna houses) and try out every majestic sauna and bath together. 

(NYC) Take them to a shop like Lush or the Face Shop to try new things. Have a spa day at home with them.

Make a diy bath bomb or soap

Take bath with a bath bomb

Go to a sauna, onsen, or hot spring

Make a diy sauna with a humidifier in your bathroom or closet while you wear towels.

[ladycatland]

MCC MCC MCC MCC MCC

WHO WILL YOU BE ROOTING FOR :D

personally will be watching pink parrots and green guardians cause winners pov <3

also sorry for this being the first time we have interacted ever but like HELLO!!! My name is bumble and I am your local ????? monstrosity >:)) how are we today?

Hey hey!!!

yEAH ITS MCC TIME!!!

As always I'll be rooting for TOMMYINNIT specifically because he's the only streamer that can keep my attention for non lore (my hyperfixation is specifically the fucking story of dsmp (more specifically cTommy) which is why I am suffering)

Though I'll have stell my beloved tell me what's going on with pink parrots. (I'm about 60% sure tubbo is gonna get way too distracted by ranboo, he usually never tryhards except when he has Tommy breathing down his neck, and even that didn't work that well last MCC) (though it's gonna make for great entertainment anyways, it's about fun after all.)

Teams are looking fucking great anyways so it's gonna be great!!

And I welcome you to my askbox. I'm Lady Catland. Nicknames are "Cat" and less commonly "Lady". And I very much like crying about ctommy and everything surrounding him. I reblog a lot, though my rants moved from my own posts to Stell's inbox. And I'm very happy to have you here!

I'm doing pretty well today, though my head is definitely less organized than it usually is sooooo. Lots of words for little info today!

So how are you today, bumble? This blog's very first monstrosity!

[hanhan156]

Hanhan’s short stories: Rammstein Halloween pt.#16

Well, October went already but weird short stories suit the dark season in general, despite the month. 8-) 

Happy Halloween everyone!

The prompt: After the death of a friend or family member, the character (and possibly one or a few others) finds a hidden trap door in their home while cleaning out their belongings. Inside, they uncover secrets the deceased was hiding.

-

#16: Welcome to the Catland

Furball’s sudden death had been hard to admit for Flake. Even after months, he was still deeply in his sorrow and couldn’t have cleaned up all the cat-related stuff around the house. Everything was still like when Furball had been there - the only difference was that the food bowl was empty. Flake knew it wasn’t healthy trying desperately to hold on from the old things - those just kept reminding how lonely he was now when his pet had left this world. Till had been supportive all the way and had gently suggested that maybe it was time to get rid of the things - time to move on with tiny steps forward.

Flake laid on a sofa which had become too familiar in the last months - the kingdom of his grief, with plushie toys and a worn-out blanket that still had cat fur on it.

He blinked his watery eyes when the sweet memories of his beloved pet came back again. It can’t go on forever like this, verdammt…an adult man, weeping for a cat, how embarrassing. Till is always right, I should listen to him.

He stood up and with a sigh, decided that this was the day: he had to start cleaning the cat stuff away, even though how painful it felt. All the broken mouse toys, yarn, and catmint spread around the house - everything should go now.

Okay, this is then. He put melancholic classical music on and started his work.

After way too many hours the cleaning was finally done - Flake had broken the promise just a tiny bit and saved some of Furball’s favorite toys, including a rustling Grumpy Cat -plushie, as memories.

But, his eyes caught something unusual in the darkest corner of a wardrobe where he had hidden the cardboard box full of cat things which were meant to go to the trash. “Wait a minute, I never installed a cat door,” he muttered, “and why on earth would I even need a door here in the first place?” Or maybe this has something to do with that night when we tested Paul’s homemade moonshine and got the worst diarrhea ever and almost got blind…

But even more bizarre than just the door was a small bottle on the floor next to it.

Gott im Himmel, what is going on? Does somebody want to poison me or did Furball have a secret tavern here?

Flake took the tiny bottle in his hand and tried to read the gibberish written on it: “Ämät ouj.”

“Ämät ouj…” he kept repeating. Is this even any real language?

He left the door and the bottle there and tried to think about something else but as the evening went on, it was impossible to get the weird things in his wardrobe out of the head. Flake shut the tv down and took his laptop. Just for fun, he tried to type the text on a translator, but like he assumed, with no results.

Then, out of nowhere, he remembered how in detective novels the letters had to be arranged in a different order to solve a riddle. He tried the classic: putting the text backward.

“Heureka!” Flake yelled accidentally out loud - even though how impossible, it had worked.

It was a command. “In Finnish: Juo tämä - in English: drink this.”

No way, this must be some kind of stupid prank…maybe it’s just Reesh’s hidden flask from our last party.

Flake hesitated for a while and thought what could be the worst that could happen. He could go blind or even worse, suffer a slow and painful death. But still, curiosity was too strong - he had to give it a try.

He went back to the wardrobe and just in case, typed the emergency number ready to his phone.

“Okay, here goes for nothing…”

He gulped the whole bottle and expected to have a bitter and burning taste in his mouth but surprisingly, the drink was neutral, with a hint of sweetness in it.

At first, nothing seemed to happen and Flake was assured it had to be just a prank. He decided to go to sleep - how stupid he had been to think this might lead to something interesting. What was he expecting?

But when he started walking it ended up being difficult - he was shrinking.

The whole wardrobe looked enormous from a different angle.

“No fucking way!” Flake exclaimed in disbelief as he noticed he had suddenly paws instead of hands.

And in front of the cat door, he saw a tiny text he was unable to see before.

ENTER

~**~

Two cats were sleeping in a basket: another one was completely black, with a red ribbon in his neck and the other one, tinier, was red and striped. They were curled tightly together in a ball when the black one opened his eye - he was sure he had heard steps. That was unusual.

“Somebody’s coming here.”

“Who could it be?” the red one mumbled and didn’t even bother to open his eyes when he had been just dreaming of a sweet mouse hunting trip with his companion.

“I have no idea, but I should have a look.”

The black cat left his comfortable place, swearing himself for the pleasant moment been interrupted ruthlessly. He licked his friend’s ear. “I’ll be back soon, Paulchen.”

“Be careful, Liebling.”

The intruder got more and more visible as he approached. It seemed to be a slender and completely naked cat.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” the black cat hissed.

The newcomer stopped. “You have no idea how much I’d like to have answers to those questions as well. But who are you?”

“My name is Richard,” the other cat answered proudly.

The naked cat’s pupils widened in his new yellow eyes. “No fucking way…”

“What?”

He took a step forward and scrutinized the other cat. “Holy shit, it is really you, Reesh. This is unbelievable!”

Richard started to get uneasy. “H-how do you know that name?”

“Because we are in the same band, silly.”

Okay, is this naked guy high on catmint or what is this shit he’s talking about? “What is…a band?”

The newcomer sighed - so it seemed like he had entered a world without even music. How great. “We play music together, in umm…humanforms.”

Richard now looked like he was going to throw up. “…human?” The thought of being a relative for smelling monkeys made him nauseous. It was almost like an insult to be even mentioned in the same sentence with those creatures. “Don’t say things like that or I assure you I’m gonna scratch your eyes out!”

“Yes, we both were humans in my…universe or whatever it was, believe it or not.”

Universe? What is he talking about? “But why in the hell are you here?” Richard asked and didn’t want to believe anything he had just heard.

“That’s another story.” The naked cat stared at the ground, embarrassed, and tried to change the subject. “But do you happen to know a cat named Furball? White one, with grey stripes.”

Richard licked his lips and answered vaguely: “I might know him. Why?”

“Can you lead me to him, please. I need answers for this whole mess.”

“Perhaps, perhaps…but first, it would be nice to know with whom I’ve been talking to.”

“My name is Flake,” the naked cat finally revealed and offered his paw for Richard. When the other feline kept staring at it in confusion, Flake immediately withdrew it. He could have blushed if it would have been possible.

“Sorry, I’m not just used to…your species’ culture yet.”

“It seems like we have a lot of things to teach you then,” Richard said slyly and stretched, ready to leave. “C’mon, let’s go. We have to find your Furball and also meet Till and Schneider if they could help you in…whatever it is you need.”

[grimoiresontape]

Firstmonth

Happy January folks, I hope it's treating you well so far. I posted some thoughts about the New Year and the geomantic figure of Laetitia on the 'gram today, and as we start the climb up the mountain of the coming 2020 I hope you don't feel too daunted.

I have decided to try and hit Firstmonth running. Not only does the latest cycle of my Geomancy Foundation training start today (Thursday 9th January 2020) - with a few spaces left for last-minute folks! - I also wanted to let folks know about my upcoming gigs in one place.

Saturday 11th January Light Up Your 2020 4pm; CLASS & CO; NYC

A night of spoken word, meditation, tea, candles, and birthday celebration. Join poet Lisa Ann Markuson and wizard Devin Person as they co-host a collection of wonderful things for your easy enjoyment of Saturday afternoon. Especially come along as this marks the launch of Lisa Ann's new range of Astrocandles! Also being the last of the three Feasts of the Magi, I will be talking about some legends of the Three Wise-Men: so come along for tales of camels, corpses, paper crowns, violent revolution, and much more besides gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Sunday 12th January Lord of the Seasons: Planetary Magic of the Sun Catland; Bushwick, NYC

Continuing my lecture series on planetary magic and spiritwork, we come to the Sun. Planet of sovereignty, vision, clarity, and elevation, the magic of the Sun is as regal as it is healing, and as illuminating as it is harmonious. While it may seem odd to celebrate the magic of the Sun in the heart of January, there can perhaps be no better time to honour the warming life-giving virtues of the Sun and its shining spirits. So come celebrate the power and lessons that the Sun and its radiant hosts of angels, devils and other spirits have to teach us: concerning pushing back against melancholia and sorrow, standing our ground, shedding light in the darkness, and stepping into our own sovereignty as the benevolent rulers of the kingdoms of our own lives.

Friday 17th January 2020 Vision: The Ritual Year Ahead The Cauldron Black; Salem, MA.

Continuing our theme of pushing back on the January blues, this class invites folks to se the First Month of 2020 as the perfect time to plan our coming adventures, escapades, rituals and spiritual endeavours for the coming year. Along with the eight Sabbats of the Wheel of the Year, there are plenty of other holy days, sacred times, and calendrical mysteries we can celebrate and from whence we can draw power: from the feasts and customs associated with Saints and the pre-Christian sacred sites, times, and myths upon which such cults were often built, to popular modern "secular" American festivals and observances such as Spring Cleaning, Thanksgiving, and many more; not to mention the starry dynamo of shifting astrological conditions and star-weather. So join us on a tour of the coming 12 months - looking for the rites, empowerments and magical timings open to us for living our best ritual year ahead in 2020.

Saturday 18th January Geomancy: An Early Modern Sister of Astrology The Witch House; Salem, MA

I love talking at the Witch House in Salem, a beautifully restored early modern house now kept as a museum offering a historical window into that pre-modern age. So it seemed only right to talk about my favourite early modern divination system here. For those unfamiliar, geomancy examines the roles of the planets in our daily lives, and while it utilizes the language and expression of astrology, is not dependent on astronomical measure. Our questions are answered in this familiar language of the stars, showing how these titanic forces are playing out in our lives. It is not a replacement for astrology (rather, its "Sister" oracle), although many of the terms will be familiar to an astrologer. No previous knowledge of astrology or sorcery is needed to attend or follow this lecture; on the other hand, these explorations and presentation of the art should refresh and enliven those already familiar with these crafts and even geomancy itself.

Tuesday 21st January Sorcery for Tattoos Witch City Ink; Salem, MA.

I'm very excited to be doing this talk on magic for tattoo artists and those working on their own magical tattoos at Witch City Ink! This class focuses on how tattooing - both receiving and producing - can be approached magically. Some historical groundwork and precedent is explored, before considering the practical necessities, possibilities, and implications for (further) ritualising the planning, implementation, and integration of body art and artisanship. I am especially excited to foster and engage in discussion with the magical and tattoo community of the Witch City at this event!

Stay tuned - either on Instagram, Facebook, or my mailing list - for more announcements about upcoming courses and webinars! All my best, pals.

Go Team January.

[smugtownmushrooms]

BROOKLYN! This Saturday! CANCER ZODIAC MARKET! Come hang with me and some dear folks at @catlandbooks !! I’ll have a full spread of grow kits, fresh mushrooms, some plants allies, tinctures, books and more to share with you and friends! Excited to hang with my gnomie @gravesmeredith too! They’ll be there too slinging witchy wares! market runs 12-5pm See y’all in a couple days! #smugtownmushrooms #mycology #fungi #catlandbooks #brooklyn #plants #fun #mycelium #witchy #esoteric #earthbased #myceliatethestate #newyork #mushrooms (at Catland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzNemcHFRnp/?igshid=4s4w1zf2rxxo