#catholic billy hargrove

[thediktatortot]

“The Death Of Billy Hargrove”

(I’ve put my whole ussy into this piece and the hardest part was attempting how to color it and I’m still not satisfied 😔 oh well, it looks good regardless.)

[shieldofiron]

And he kissed the prettiest boy he could find.

[weboglez]

hi here are some billy and steve sketches (mostly billy) ! im still learning how to draw them 😰

[writerwhowritesao3]

Disclaimer: I am not Catholic. Everything I know about Catholicism is from friends and internet searches. Let me know if I got anything egregiously wrong!

Every few weeks or so, Neil would decide that the family would be going to church on Sunday. 

Billy hates it. It isn’t even just the fact that mass is boring as shit and Billy doesn’t even believe in god. It’s the fact that his dad makes the decision for all of them—him, Susan, and Max—that they would be going. 

Susan was raised Catholic, but she doesn’t personally identify that way anymore. She hadn’t in a long time. And Billy knows, from snippets of conversations between Susan and her sister Deirdre that he overheard, that Susan fucking hates the Catholic Church. Even so, Susan had taken Max to church a few times before marrying Neil. Pretty much just for holidays though, and only for the community aspect of it all. To her credit, Susan always made sure that Max knew that the Bible was not to be taken literally and that most of the religion was bullshit. 

Neil was raised Catholic. His father had been Catholic. His mother, on the other hand, had been part of the Eastern Orthodox minority in Hungary. Neil’s father had forced her to convert to Catholicism when they got married even though he wasn’t a particularly religious man. He had also all but forced her to speak only English in their home. So. Neil had been raised in the Catholic faith and only learning bits and scraps of Hungarian. 

Anyway. 

The Hargrove-Mayfield family rolls into St. Vitus one Sunday. The night before, Billy had missed curfew and Neil hadn’t believed him when he said that he had been studying with Nancy and lost track of time. To be fair, that story had been a total, blatant lie. The truth was that Billy had been at Steve’s house getting railed on top of his pool table, but obviously Billy couldn’t tell his dad that.

The logical thing to do when you know your teenage son is lying to your face is to make your family go to church and make your son go to confession. At least according to the Neil Hargrove Guide to Parenthood.

Neil walks Billy to the little alcove where the confessional is to make sure he gets in line. 

“We’re sitting three rows from the back,” Neil says. “If you and Max behave yourselves, we can go to Waffle House after.”

The night before, Neil slammed Billy against a wall while he was demanding to know why he had missed his curfew. He probably would have beaten him, but he got distracted enough to snap out of his rage when Susan “accidentally” knocked a glass off of the counter. 

Billy knows that sometimes, rarely but still sometimes, his dad feels guilty about getting physical with him. Guilty enough that his dad tries to make up for it with things like buying a pint of Billy’s favorite flavor of ice cream at the supermarket or taking the family out to get breakfast after church. 

(Sometimes when his dad hurts him badly enough, he “makes up for it” by doing things like helping Billy pay for his car or taking the family to the animal shelter to adopt a dog)

Before Billy walks into the confessional, he watches Neil walk over to where Susan and Max are sitting. There have been times where his dad would stay in line with him, waiting for his own turn or just making sure that Billy actually went in.

He walks in the booth. It’s one of those that’s divided by a screen. When Billy had his first Communion, the confessions were done face-to-face. It had been awful having to tell a grown-up man—that he had to call “Father”—how he had pushed Lance Shepherd off the jungle gym at recess because he had put a wad of gum in his friend Amy’s hair. 

Billy kneels and makes the sign of the cross. 

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” Billy says rolling his eyes. “It’s been, like, three months since my last confession. I think.”

“Unburden yourself.”

Billy blinks—he’s never heard a priest say “unburden yourself.” He’s only ever heard the standard “tell me your sins.” Billy recognizes the voice from the other side of the screen as Father Peter. There are two priests who preside over St. Vitus: Father Thomas, who’s old as fuck and rarely cracks a smile, and Father Peter, who is in his 40s and always greets people by their names.

“I let my friend cheat off my quiz in History class,” Billy begins. in his defense, it was a pop quiz and Jonathan’s grade in that class needed all the help it could get.

“I picked a fight with my sister,” he continues. That little spat with Max had been so fucking stupid; it was over whose turn it was to clean the bathroom. The fight had only lasted about seven minutes and they had both gotten over it quickly. 

“I talked back to my parents...um...a fair amount,” he says. He stops speaking for a moment, wondering if he should just end his confession there to save everyone a whole bunch of time.

“Anything else?” Father Peter asks. 

This was stupid. Church was stupid. Confession was fucking stupid. Catholicism was a nasty, fucking system invented to make people feel bad about shit like having sex and being gay.

“Yeah actually,” Billy snarks. “I missed curfew last night and lied to my dad about where I was. I told him I was studying with my friend, but I was really having sex with my boyfriend. Pre-marital, gay sex. ‘Cause I’m gay.”

Billy has no idea what Father Peter’s response to that is going to be. In a million years, he never would have predicted that Father Peter would say: 

“Do you think that’s a sin?”

“I mean, isn’t it?” he asks, thrown off. “Like from a Catholic perspective?”

“Some people interpret Scripture that way,” Father Peter says. “But when you read the Bible, it’s important to consider the historical context. And important to remember that it’s been translated and revised many times over the centuries.”

“Do you think it’s a sin?” Billy asks. Even though he really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what a priest thinks.

“No, I do not,” Father Peter says. “As long as it’s done with love and respect and not with malice, I don’t believe that any expression of sexuality is a sin.”

“Oh,” Billy says. “Um, cool.”

“God does not hate gay people, Billy,” Father Peter says softly. 

Billy digs his fingernails into his palm. He didn’t think that Father Peter would recognize his voice.

“For your penance—”

“Wait, you just said it wasn’t a sin.”

“The sex is not a sin,” Father Peter clarifies. “But helping your friend cheat on their test is. And so is disrespecting your family.”

“I guess.”

Billy swears he hears Father Peter chuckle at that.

“For your penance, say three Hail Marys,” Father Peter continues. “Help your parents out around the house. Do an activity with your sister that she chooses. And help your friend study so that they’re prepared for the next test.”

“Okay,” Billy nods. 

He listens as Father Peter intones a prayer of absolution and leaves the confessional to join his family in the pews. 

Nothing’s really changed. Billy still doesn’t believe in any sort of god. He still thinks religion is bogus. He’s only going to say those Hail Marys because his dad is there and the promised trade-off of Waffle House for good behavior is too good to pass up.

But he does make a mental note to share his class notes with Jonathan and study with him. And also to take Max to the arcade and maybe let her win a game or two.

[ickypuppi3]

billy in this

[imsodishy]

Basically; No Carver, you will not be seeing us on Sunday.

[every-dayiwakeup]

Why Billy grew his hair out in the first place:

[stranger-rants]

Fun fact, Billy’s birthday was three days after Easter in 1967. In 1970, his birthday was on Easter. There were also several dates between 1967 and 1985 when his birthday was the day before Easter. Max was in a coma by March 30th, which was in fact Easter in 1986. (Also the day after Billy’s birthday). Do with this information what you will!

[merryhaze]

Catholic-raised, gay Billy Hargrove, and his ever-complicated relationship with God

[junkyardcamaro]

I really really really hope that we're at the beginning of some kind of Catholic!Billy renaissance, I just love that hc so much!

[thediktatortot]

Catholic Billy Hargrove who says "So let it be written, so let it be done." every time someone says something stupid or funny.

[shieldofiron]

Catholic Boarding School AU

[bigolemantiddies]

Religious trauma used in sex TW

Billy’s raised catholic with all the going to church every sunday and before he was queer for others he was queer for the jesus statue in his church and the repenting his pastors made him do for confession. Worthy of love if he’s sorry to his god. Starts getting in with steve or eddie (both are good) and finds himself on his knees, mouth being used for repenting in a different way now. They call him “My Son.” And he refers to them as “Him” with a capital H. Every moan is a prayer and every dirty thing whispered in his ear is gospel. He gets scared at the first kiss, though. Jesus was betrayed by a kiss. Looks over his shoulder for a week and avoids Him until cornered, forced onto his knees to beg for forgiveness. Just Billy being able to find god in another man(s)

[strangerqueerthings]

Something that amuses me to no end is the fact that Billy wears a Catholic-ish pendant, but we know (thanks to Runaway Max) that Neil is Lutheran.

I don't see Billy as religious at all, but I DO see him purposely "being Episcopalian" to spite Neil.

"You told me to go to church, you didn't specify which one."

Hawkins doesn't HAVE an Episcopalian church, so Billy just spends his Sundays pretending to read the Bible while Neil drags Susan and Max to the nearest Lutheran church without him, because he doesn't want to explain why his son is wearing a pendant of a saint around his neck.

To quote Robin Williams: "Being Episcopalian is great! Its like diet Catholic... All the religion of catholicism, and only HALF the guilt!"

(Not to mention the Episcopalian church has a much more liberal/queer-friendly lean to them.)

[ickypuppi3]

hey can i say something about accidental christ figure and human puppet billy hargrove real quick

[imsodishy]