#cathartic lmfao
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I just
So strongly feel like this song is such a perfect “Geto gets his shit together” redemption theme
Like
Perfection
“He feels the rising of a wave and knows at once
He will not weather it
Like that man
I looked down into the depths when I met you
I couldn't measure it”
Ugh suguru baby who the hell broke you before you even met your should have been baby daddy?
“With each grave
I think of loss and I can only think of you
I couldn't measure it”
Like babe
Jesus
Yes this is what I’m writing right now how can you tell
#jjk#the most random things make me most passionate#blame the fic im writing#my god#cathartic lmfao#but seriously#it’s such a THEME song#Youtube
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into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.
the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the witch.
for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.
the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.
but they were never whole to begin with, were they?
qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.
olly says nothing.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new.#*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground*#someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything#maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory#and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey#and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all#and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them.#the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao#idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲#i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore#so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol#and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to#and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them.#i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly#but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.
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I think the most unrealistic thing about Walk the Wire is that Shouto worked for his dad for 12 years. His homophobic dad that hates his son's husband. It works for the story, but like honestly? To me, Shouto would never ever work for his father. He'd rather do anything else as long as it meant not working for him. Imagine how insufferable and obnoxious his dad would be for him. But anyway what I was getting at is Shouto would definitely complain to Izuku about shit his dad told him at work and Izuku would lovingly listen and comfort him. Shouto wouldn't even realize when Izuku placed a fluffy blanket on him and handed him a mug of his favorite tea, but they end up on the couch, Shouto is cozy, Izuku is right beside him and Shouto couldn't imagine a better husband.
#thats why chapter 3 was so cathartic to me#bnha rambles#tododeku#im trying to get more people to read my fic ahhh#oh why did i hurt Shouto in this fic lmfao
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When the flies fell is making me scream and cry and throw up this is going to end so badly.
teehee :3 who knows
#you guys gotta understand i'm not a plotter and the ending to this has changed in my mind at least three times since i started writing LMFAO#it's going to end. in a Way :3#maybe it'll be bad maybe it'll be cathartic maybe they'll ride off into the sunset together. who knows. certainly not me#very pleased people are enjoying it tho :D#fic
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been having so much fun making jewelry lately. i have so many pieces now that i can't feasibly wear all the things i've made in any kind of timely manner. got bracelets coming out of my ears
#i wanna sell my jewelry but i know that market is oversaturated#maybe i am dreaming too small. i have a knack for it because im creative inherently#its less tiring to me than hunching over a drawing for hours or writing#its a nice busy bee hobby. it requires just the right amount of concentration so that i dont get mentally fatigued#with long covid i get really bad mental fatigue when i concentrate + my eyes get tired easily so its nice that its something to do#that lacks a screen#im just rambling lmfao#i dont reach for my phone near as much lately with meds. i just find it can sour my mood a lot sometimes#so i have been very in tune with my creative side lately :3 its cathartic and makes me feel more like myself#especially because with jewelry it yields a wearable piece of your art#it rules. low effort high reward methinks#honey's words
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Ngl it’s pretty uncanny how much of myself I see in Orel 😭 as an auDHD black girl back when it was still airing/showing reruns, hearing “I hate you Jesus, you rotten little fink” in ‘Innocence’ was honestly a canon event for me and my firsthand experience with being Directly Confronted with religious trauma induced moral ocd lmfao I silently cried for like a Week in my room cus I thought god was gonna kill me for coming across it lmfao
Another episode I caught as a kid was a rerun of “Offensiveness” and the part about eggs coming from “naughty lady places” rly stood out to me cus I was like okay… Im being seen… Go on… Cus u know how when u grow up in a Protestant Christian small town, then everyone thinks animals are inappropriate for like… having udders. And it was the first time i felt like I was given permission to question anything. Side note Miss Censordoll is literally why to this Day I cannot stand seeing anyone drinking raw eggs 😭
#this entire show was a canon event for me for like… pretty much my whole life ngl#bleats#idk man I caught this shit on adult swim one night when I was a kid#my third eye was Immediately opened but ya know#religious trauma induced moral ocd plus child brain plus overprotective parents = ‘omfg I’m gonna wake up in hell for watching this’#so I shoved my metaphorical tape over it and just kept my thoughts to myself until like 2018 when I found it again during a rough time#and it was cathartic finally being Seen ya know…?#anyways imagine being thrown a life raft and getting scared LMFAO#I also cant help but draw the link between link mcmissuns being a right wing talk show host#and like… Podcast bros LFMSO#surprisingly enough rewatching this made me realize that I never had an internalized homophobia phase Purely because…#I never even registered my confusing feelings as anything really#and by the time I understood them#I was already DEEP into scene kid culture so… straight from ignorance to acceptance#and there wasn’t rly much of any pushback from my family other than them worrying about my safety…?#so like I kinda ‘cheated’ if that makes sense…?#lmfao
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man i love having a deeply emotionally charged conversation w my imagination for hours instead of being able to sleep
#its like. EVERY NIGHT this year#but man. its very cathartic and hard not to let my brain wander there#IM DOING SO WELLLLLLL besides my sleep schedule. LMFAO. ive been sleeping in every day help me#i miss not being late for work ;w;;; glad i have semi job security bcos im good at my jobbb#howling
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Moe voice I hate marriage I love divorce. I hope every married couple gets divorced immediately or goes to hell forever. What were we talking about
#fire emblem#feh#sorry for shitposting. as if it's my fault#tbh the implications here may not even be canon (hc??). i just needed to blow off steam LMFAO#my love of unconventional relationships is too strong i don't think any of this would ultimately matter#still it WAS cathartic to make moe a cunt. a clueless cunt.#its not tsundere per se it just. has issues.#fe alfonse#fe lif#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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cause it’s my birthday, mum got down my old diaries and journals from when i was younger and they’re actually un-fucking-believable
there’s a whole page about the time i had to wear a neck brace to school and, honestly? god gives his most embarrassing injuries to his already-so-fucking-unpopular girls smh
#i was 5’9 by the time i was 11 and i never caught a break in my whole life#i do get cooler from about 13 but ages 9-12 are unbelievable#the whole family is dying of laughter as i read them out it’s so cathartic lmfao
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okay angsty thought: what if before the whole spirit realm & noctum thing aphelios would hum/sing to his sister as a shared comfort thing that helped them fall asleep
#● ☾ ⭑ 𝗠ᵒᵒᶰˡᶤᵍʰᵗ ᵛᶤᵍᶤˡ ( ooc )#// i just wrote a cathartic healing drabble and here i am thinking up angst what am i#// srry for ooc but had to share potential idea thingie bc lmfao writing 2k words bc of a need took a lot outta me#// realised forgot to add and now w/ the noctum kinda taking its own kinda strain/toll on his voice he can't#// really sing/hum at all to the ability he used to and the fact abt that kinda breaks him a lil bc it was a familiarity thing#// that could also help him when alune was busy w/ seer stuff so it filled the quiet void
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no one asked but kiryu wasnt even originally my favorite yakuza/rgg/lad character and i 100% sped through his parts to play more as majima in y0. truly my love for kiryu snuck up while i was playing through kiwami and then hit me like a freight train while playing either kiwami 2 or y3. and that's bc one thing about me is,,, if a character has experienced Grief then i just automatically feel loyal to them on that level.
#legitimately every muse ive written since probably 2018 for longer than 5 minutes has experienced a disgusting level of grief#idk... like jennette mccurdy said in her memoir. there are two types of people: those who have experienced loss and those who haven't#and exploring how characters who have experienced loss deal with it is idk just very?? cathartic for me i guess#and kiryu .... baby boy (age neutral) has experienced way more than any other muse i think ive ever written lmfao#SORRY DIDN'T MEAN TO GET TOO REAL ON DASH BEFORE 12PM EST LMFAO#ooc
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Actually Dae's kind of making me think about residual Darkness Creechur traits with her gay monster fuckery about Aqua
What if BBS!Adri gets to be a little eldritch
As a treat
#me and Terra are both hella traumatized so it's cathartic#so what if i get to come undone a little sometimes#and still have terra love and hold me even when im a monster#because even if ill never not be a monster he still loves me#and will kiss me and hold me and touch me and-#anyway yeah#you can imagine bbs! Adri's fighting style with a keyblade in KH3 like#if someone let unit 01 kill bardiel and zeruel with a keyblade instead lmfao#vent#so i stayed in the darkness with you
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sunflowers in our hair
#in a cathartic way. Children of the Sun came on and that was a Yahar'gul song and i need to get over - i mean no. i Am getting over#the fact that post-false-memories im going to have complex feelings about that place. especially meeting Agnus there and he showed me#his studio and i know it was mindspace stuff but it was one of my early post-cult spiritual experiences and like#his studio ITS NOT... REALLY ACTUALLY A THING. it isnt astral. BUT its been a big inspo to my art since i saw it and#like. idk. it may have been mindspaces... both Lull and Agnus' but it was a nice place when it was Agnus and also#im struggling against false memories by saying ''literally nothing happened none of it was significant'' i think its more helpful to say#that the story was important to me. the fiction felt like home. doesnt matter that it was fictional right now what matters is it felt like#home and ill go from there. i enjoyed the story. and. you two alongside other spirits saved my fucking life#agnus if you hadnt fucking come in when you did id be dead. that goes for multiple people but like. each individual experience#of saving my fucking life deserves to be honoured lmfao.#OC: Agnus#as in.#Spirit: Eastern Sun#Spirit: Red Sky#<- in fictional masks bc thats all i would listen to when i was a pc pagan#Primogenitor's Child#<- going to be my bb tag instead of brutally butchering the world. i wont be using it often but#Spiritual Art
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Post cringe? Always
#its literally so rare but every like 4 months i just get this bout of Loneliness#so i doodle myself holding hands w an oc and then its gone for the next four LMFAO#cathartic. (maladaptive daydreaming)#cringe#and yes that is 'im making a map for ur eyes - AWWWWAAAAAAAAAAA' reference on the top left
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If I can’t stop believing in God I’ll just fight him instead lol
#fuck you god not today bitch!#religious trauma#ocd#southern baptist#bleats#I tried so hard but I keep forgetting that I only recently felt safe enough to question my beliefs#like only a few months ago#religious trauma induced ocd had me literally thinking I’d get struck by lightning for loving moral orel#cathartic ass puppet show lfmao#I still ‘believe’ in God cus ya know that’s not gonna stop overnight or even ever??#it’s an uphill battle#imagine believing in God and still calling him a bitch lmfao mecore
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why the fuck am i only ever able to draw to my aggression playlist these days. it's like i need to be angry at whatever i'm doing for my hands to do the thing.
#angry as in “fuck this fuck everything just draw the motherfucking lines” so more like. frustratedly pumped.#maybe because it curbs the frustration of it not turning out how i'd like if i can detach myself from it to a degree#very random but#i am reminded of that time i punched a hole through a painting and that was the most cathartic thing i ever did to any of my own art lmfao#i was very drunk and very sad but it felt so good i laughed for an hour#it was one of those 'work through trauma through art' attempts and it didn't really work#socking a hole through the face did the trick though hahaha#bug.txt
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