#catfish noel

[ready2-burst]

Day 13 - while gaming

before i begin, please note! this is a catfish!Noel centric fic, so if that’s not your personal taste, please continue to scroll!

Noel’s current life was pretty much the perfect definition of a snowball lie. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, for such a simple action to spiral like this. 

Using alternative accounts online with female usernames and profile pictures of beautiful women was just his stupid little guilty pleasure. It gave him that full-body feeling of joy that he craved, but rarely found. He had seen the name Talia somewhere, and decided it sounded pretty and slapped it onto a new Youtube account, using a random photo of a young woman as the profile picture. While browsing on that account, he happened to stumble upon a video by one Mischa Bachinski - his Ukrainian classmate whom he may or may not have caught a mild case of the hots for. It was a rap video with shitty quality, filmed in his basement, but Noel thought the rap was pretty good, and deserved a positive comment. 

He had no idea that in a couple months’ time, his biggest regret would be sending that comment.

After seeing Mischa’s overjoyed response to the comment “Talia” left, it felt like there was simply no choice but to keep leaving such comments. It was only on the tenth comment he left that things went south - Mischa asked for her other socials. And just like that, suddenly Noel was creating more Talia accounts. Discord, Instagram, even a Roblox account was created. Suddenly he was researching how to do a Ukrainian accent, and keeping Google Translate open on a tab on his phone at all times. Suddenly he was installing a voice changer to use on Discord calls - giving the household computer a virus, which he was still too scared to mention to his mother.

Noel knew that this was all wrong. He was feeding lies to a vulnerable teen who had already been through so much. But he was too embarrassed, and too afraid of the consequences, to ever admit the truth to anyone.

“Top left!”

Noel flinched as he was suddenly pulled from his melancholic thoughts. He quickly clicked a key on his keyboard and shot down a zombie about to attack him. “Phew… дякую, dear.” he sighed in relief, reminding himself to speak in a more girly tone of voice, just in case the voice changer wasn’t convincing enough.

This whole mess wasn’t all bad - Noel finally had someone to play video games with, even if he did need to put on a fake accent and use a voice changer. Every Tuesday and Thursday, after choir practice, Mischa would call up Talia on Discord, and they would play any free multiplayer game they could find together.

So far, they had been at it for an hour, and neither boy was getting tired. Noel was more than content to stay here all night, and Mischa seemed like he was too.

At least, that was what Noel thought, until his headphones picked up a quiet shff of fabric, a shift. He thought nothing of it at first - Mischa was probably changing his position; he had been sitting for an hour straight. But then he heard him shift again, and again, in the space of just two minutes.

“Mischa, are you alright?” Noel gently asked. “You sound a little… fidgety. It’s okay if you’re getting tired, we can sign off—“

“Oh, no no no! I am just fine, my Talia.” Mischa insisted, his firm yet loving voice crackling straight into his ears. “Please, let us continue our battle against zombies. Ooh, shit, straight ahead!”

Noel made a frankly undignified noise, and quickly rapid-fired at the zombie in his face, using up all his bullets, which in turn sent him scrambling to reload. Come to think of it, there may have been a reason no one had ever leapt at the chance to play games with him. Mischa could be heard quietly chuckling as he saw his “girlfriend” fumble - but then that chuckle turned to a quiet hiss.

“Mischa?” Noel instantly questioned it, worry creeping into his tone. “Are you sure you’re alright? You just made a weird noise, you sound like you’re in pain…”

“M-my perfect Talia, your concern is so sweet,” Mischa began to brush him off, his voice sounding a little shaky all of the sudden. “But I am fine.”

“Really?” he challenged, his tone disbelieving. “I don’t think I’m buying it, my dear. You know you can talk to me if something is the matter…”

There was a tense silence. Before finally, Mischa sighed. “Okay… I am not completelyfine.”

Noel smiled sadly at the boy’s reluctant admission, glad that he had gotten through to him. “What’s wrong, my darling Mischa?”

“We-well… I…” he stammered, seeming unable to decide on the right words. “I have bottle of wine with me, yes? I have been drinking wine since we started game. And I drank wine super fast, the wine is gone now… a-and it passed through my body.”

It took Noel a good few seconds to figure out the problem, but when he did, his eyes went huge. Shit. He bit his lip behind his microphone to stop himself from laughing. “Mischa, do you, ah… need to pee?” he gently inquired for confirmation.

The soft and shy “mhm” that he received in response could’ve made his heart explode. In his wildest dreams, he never imagined Mischa could sound so meek. “Well, I don’t mind pausing the game for you while you take a bathroom break…” 

“No,” Mischa instantly refused. “I don’t need break, I-I can hold it… We can keep playing.”

Noel sighed softly at his continued stubbornness. “Dear… you shouldn’t put it off, especially since you already seem pretty desperate… It’ll only get worse, and you’ll end up—“

“No, I won’t!” he snapped, before instantly regretting it and calming down. “S-sorry, my love. But honestly, we don’t need to stop game. I’m a strong man, I-I can hold a little pee-pee, no problem… Please, let’s- fuck!”

Noel’s eyes became the size of saucers, and a red hot blush crept across his face. For a few seconds, he thought that was meant to be a full sentence, and got more than a little flustered. However, the soft grumbling and frantic rustling that followed told him otherwise, and worry cut through his brief excitement. His computer screen showed the pause menu, suggesting that Mischa had paused the game. “Mischa?” Noel gently called out, dreading to think what might have just happened behind the boy’s microphone.

“Лайно, лайно, лайно-“ Mischa could be heard breathlessly cursing. “I’m so sorry, T-Talia, I have to—“

“Hey, hey- sweetheart, it’s okay,” he instantly comforted. “Go to the bathroom. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

Mischa made one last small noise of pain - before his mic picked up the sound of his headset slamming down onto the floor, as well as his footsteps faintly retreating. 

With him gone, Noel took the time to take off his own headset and give his slightly sore ears a quick break. He gently rubbed his ears, quietly chuckling about what had just happened. He said a few random things in his normal voice, just so he wouldn’t somehow forget that he wasn’t naturally a Ukrainian girl. And he patiently sat and waited for Mischa’s return.

And waited. … And waited.

Finally, just as Noel was considering exiting out of the game in the interest of not burning the pause menu into the screen, he heard Mischa pick his headset up and put it back on. “Ah, welcome back!” Noel happily greeted him. “Feeling better now?”

“Y-yeah… better,” he replied in a very uncharacteristically quiet voice.

That gave the other boy a bad feeling. If he had successfully emptied his bladder, he should surely be back to normal - unless something had gone wrong. “… Did you make it?” he found himself asking.

Mischa’s response truly broke his heart. “I couldn’t,” he said simply, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. 

Noel softly gasped, empathy flooding into him from head to toe. He felt a knot appear in his throat. “Oh, Mischa, darling…” 

A shaky exhale came through Mischa’s microphone. “I barely even got up stairs,” he began to rant. “I-I left basement, and I tried to run to toilet and suddenly it just wouldn’t stop, I…”

The boy took a slow and unsteady breath in, trying to keep his emotions in check. “… I’m sorry, Talia, f-for becoming so weak… you shouldn’t have to see that of me.”

Noel could’ve cried with sympathy. His heart absolutely ached for poor Mischa. “… Mischa,” he carefully began to speak - in this moment, he wasn’t playing a character, he was speaking entirely from his heart. “You know what I want you to do, darling? I want you to sign off, and get some dry, comfy pyjamas on. We can do a longer gaming session on Thursday.”

Thankfully, Mischa seemed too emotionally exhausted to put up too much fight. “Are you sure…?”

“I’m not about to let you sit at your computer in soaking wet pants on the verge of tears trying to fight zombies,” Noel insisted bluntly, which managed to get a very soft snort out of the other. “I’m positive.”

“Alright. I will… I will leave game and put on night clothes,” he reluctantly agreed.

They both exited out of the game, leaving them on call together without any distractions, which brought about a peaceful silence. Mischa breathed a heavy, despondent sigh. “… I-I’m sorry, Talia—“

Noel gently hushed him. “You don’t need to apologise for anything, kохана. Your bladder just couldn’t take it anymore, it’s not any kind of personal failure, it’s just biology… And I don’t think any less of you, okay? You’re perfect, Mischa, and I’m never not gonna think that.”

There was a short pause, before Mischa gave a small sniffle, evidently starting to fail at holding back tears. “I love you, Talia,” he managed to shudder out.

“I love you too,” Noel instantly repeated, the rehearsed feminine tone in his voice almost disappearing altogether. “I really do love you…”

“Will you message me goodnight on the Discord before you go to bed…?”

The soft smile on his face slowly fell, into a slightly sad resting face. “… Yeah, of course,” he assured him, returning to his usual Talia voice.

“Okay…” Mischa took a deep breath. “Thank you for playing with me. До побачення,Talia. Я люблю тебе.”

The little icon containing his profile picture disappeared from Noel’s phone screen, and he was alone. He let out a deep sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face as he tried to process what just happened. 

Needless to say, it was very hard for Noel to keep a poker face when he heard Mischa the following day at school, muttering about how he had the “shittiest night”.

see you guys in two days for Day 15! :3

[spac3d0lls]

“talia was a codename for noel!”

“noel was catfishing mischa!”

don't care. CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆

[feyinvestigations]

"Talia is fake" and "Noel is catfishing Mischa as Talia" alternative universes are OUT. whatever the fuck This is, is IN

[astralelaine]

(Kind of a rant) Just saw a tiktok I saw a few hours ago (I won't namedrop) but it was about Noel catfishing Mischa because he was tired of being the only gay guy in Uranium. I get it's a theory, but it just seems so... weird? and kind of, bad? I'm a new fan (started watching the musical late February of this year and I've been OBSESSED ever since) and this theory has caught my attention from most nischa/passionroses videos.

vv More down below.

I think it's just awful for both Mischa and Noel's characters. I've seen Kholby talk about it and expressed his hatred in an older tiktok and I couldn't agree more. I always thought it was weird when I encountered the theory for the first time.

I just don't think Noel is that bad of a person to go to extreme measures when he likes someone. Yeah sure he got suspended by breaking into an excerpt from "Waiting for Godot", but that's not as bad as catfishing a loyal guy like Mischa, who loves his hometown more than anything, as well as being deeply in love with a girl from his country. Talia is literally Mischa's roman empire, and to take that away by saying Noel catfished him because he was "desperate" just kinda destroys Noel's character and his title of being the 'most romantic boy in town'.

This isn't an attack to any nischa shippers! I ship nischa myself, its just this particular theory that ruins their relationship/friendship in general.

(Please no hate! I'm just expressing my opinion. I hope this is clear :-[)

[sc4rl3tr41n]

the “talia is noel catfishing mischa” theory is EXTRA ass cause.. y’all do realise making the gay guy out to be being predatory/taking advantage of a straight guy is like.. kind of crazy homophobic, right?

YOU ARE SO REAL ANON

Like. Imagine this

You play a gay character in a play or production and there is another character with an online lover

AND THEN PEOPLE SAY THAT YOUR CHARACTER IS CATFISHING THEM OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES

diabolical.

[rtc-confessions]

i absolutely hate the “noel catfished mischa” theory, it doesnt fit his character at all and i just don’t understand it. the “talia is a codename” theory okay though but not my favourite, i did some research and in latin noelle and natalia are versions of the name noel so it would kinda make sense. but anyway talia rules and im sick of people pretending she doesnt exist.

~~

[moonbeam-dragon]

We're Poetic and Naïve

Summary: “Would it help if I were to tell you what would happen if Mischa met his love?”

Noel knew, deep down, what would happen. He knew it would be bad. Nothing good could come out of a fiancé on a telephone he met in a YouTube comment section! At the very least, Mischa was already dead. He deserved to be spared that heartbreak.

[amorcie]

Each time I remember that “Talia is just Noel catfishing Mischa” theory I die a little more inside

[rednosebigshoe]

Broke: Talia is Noel catfishing Mischa

Woke: Talia is code for Noel

Correct: Talia is real, Mischa has two hands, they are all in a polyamorous relationship

[sydneyofalltrades]

ALSO ALSO ALSO

Mischa and Talia obviously video called!!! They’re not fucking amateurs! Mischa has ACTUAL PHOTOS AND VIDEOS OF TALIA SAVED IN HIS PHONE

You cannot TELL me Noel had the time/energy/desire/ABILITY to fake an entire physical change just to get Mischa to talk to him! IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK

If i see

one more

ONE MORE

person say

“Omg Talia is Noel catfishing Misha haha”

🔥I WILL COMIT ARSON🔥

The reason Noel stops Karnak from telling Misha what would’ve happened is because he cares about Misha and wants to protect him! Noel and Misha have completely opposite fantasies, Noel would get no enjoyment out of pretending to be a girl that provides emotional stability, comfort and unwavering love. The idea that Talia, as well as the love that her and Misha have, could be real- that’s closer than Noel has ever and will ever get to living out his own fantasy. Hell, that’s the closest any of the choir get to living out their fantasies. Noel stopping Karnak is an act of good intention, the idea that Noel was saying that to keep the truth from coming out is a huge disservice to his character.

P.s.

NOEL DOESNT FUCKING SPEAK UKRAINIAN

[catwomanofzolar]

"what if noel is catfishing mischa as talia" what if i throw a brick at your head

[iliketodrawig]

I'm genuinely curious

[ella-ashmore]

if i see one more person say noel is talia im going to start blowing things up with my mind ^-^ why would you want that. why would you desire a world where noel is manipulating mischa to such a horrible extent. why would you want the love he has shown for this woman to have been misplaced. yes he loves noel but he also loves talia as a separate entity. why would you want his entire relationship with his fiancee to be a lie. noel doesnt even speak ukrainian

[real-odark]

while everyone else is sharing rtc hot takes uhh. warning: dont scalp me! thanks💜

i dont like spacedolls, i dont like nischa, i dont like topcomment, i dont like ricky/ocean, <- BUT i will NEVER attack anyone for liking any of those, its unnecessary to mention other actors on one actor's interpretation (cough cough tiktok gus fans), speaking of tiktok fans all of them. pls grow up, i hate the noel catfishing theory, it literally doesnt matter what your favorite song is ive seen discourse and i know its jokes sometimes but like. literally no one cares., there is no "underrated" in this show. its a cast of 8 people and its been around for YEARS (this is specifically talking about characters), you cannot help liking any character or another but it doesnt help to not acknowledge bad things about them, ship discourse is stupid, production discourse is stupid outside of mccarter and productions that show war videos during talia, sugar cloud album recording is not good but its a wonderful song, ride the cyclone is NOT everyones cup of tea and its unnecessary to be rude about that/blow someone up for it, literally who cares if someones favorite character is karnak its totally reasonable ??, stop fetishizing gay men/relationships, stop harrassing actors, some people only have access to the 2016 boot so dont harrass them over only being familiar with that one, speaking of the 2016 boot crowd was awful lmao

finally: no actor/production/character is better than any other and its not worth comparing them. if you are TRULY a fan of the story/musical, you would not be wasting time talking about what you dislike of other characters/actors/versions.

^ (and in case people seeing this dont have media literacy, i am obviously not including things like rickys disability erasure/problematic aspects of the story and companies. i dont mean real issues, i mean PETTY issues; fandom discourse on preference, etc.)

[sc4rl3tr41n]

Theories

The catfish Noel theories and the others like it are ASS.

the "Talia is a metaphor for Ukraine" theory is fine. Kinda

[rtc-confessions]

I have no fucking clue where all the Talia hate is from. She’s just a person bro.

Idk where this whole catfish theory cane from but that really disrespects Noel’s character and integrity. The codename thing just doesn’t make sense to me, he physically describes Talia’s features and compares her to Yulia Tymoshenko, that is a lot of effort for someone who would be fully accepted by the choir for simply dating Noel (they were literally dead bro i think his sexuality wouldnt be the biggest problem there).

Like the other person said, y’all would LOVE Talia if she were a boy. People eat that ‘forbidden star-crossed lovers’ shit up when it’s queer. I’m just saying, she’s a completely normal fucking human being. You can dislike her for your own reasons, but disliking her because what, Mischa loves her? That’s embarrassing.

~~