#category 2 ocd moment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kingfrumpkin · 4 years ago

Text

harrow & schizophrenia

i was asked to elaborate on my "harrow is schizophrenic" post and im more than happy to! i dont see this talked about a lot and it makes me sad & i hope theres more talk about it as time goes on

without further ado, here is harrow and her schizophrenia symptoms

the DSM-V outlines 5 symptoms of schizophrenia, which includes (1) hallucinations, (2) delusions, (3) disorganized speech (4) disorganized/catatonic behavior, and (5) negative symptoms. one only has to have 2 of these symptoms to get a diagnosis for schizophrenia, given they have lasted longer than 6 months and are not caused by drugs

let's go through these symptoms individually in regards to harrow:

1) hallucinations

there is no doubting that harrow suffers from hallucinations, as mentioned several many times throughout harrow the ninth. her hallucinations are mainly auditory (hearing doors close or people walking) and visual (the Body, hallucinating cythera's body, implied past hallucinations in her dream-river scape.) even in the first book there is evidence of harrows hallucinations, mainly when her and gideon are sneaking around hallways and have to stop constantly for "no reason", according to gideon

2) delusions

delusions are a little trickier to show examples of because the books are rarely from her POV, but i would consider her relationship with the Body a delusion. the Body has no special relationship to her and is incapable of feeling love to her, however harrow believes that they have this deep relationship. technically this could be considered a "religious hallucination" where "someone might think they have a special relationship with a deity" (WebMD). this delusion feeds into her hallucinations of the Body.

3) disorganized speech

harrow has no known disorganized speech patterns or confused thoughts. she has no problem talking/following trains of thoughts accurately

4) disorganized/catatonic behavior

this would be under the category of movement disorders in terms of schizophrenia which, again, is hard to gauge with everything that goes on in the books. however, there is one key line that mentions how harrow would lose track of time simply staring at/being with the body and waste hours doing this. if still at the time, this could be considered catatonic behavior. however, that is possibly a stretch

5) negative symptoms

negative symptoms is a little broad so let's break it down a little.

flattening: "When they talk, their voice can sound flat, like they have no emotions. They may not smile normally or show usual facial emotions in response to conversations or things happening around them" (WebMD)

we don't really have many descriptors of harrows inflection, or lack thereof, when speaking except when in moments of stress or upsetting circumstances, like with harrow witnessing the mercy/john/august sandwich. it could be said that harrow has a severe lack of facial expressions in response to normal day-to-day conversations

withdrawal/apathy: "This might include no longer making plans with friends or becoming a hermit. Talking to the person can feel like pulling teeth: If you want an answer, you have to really work to pry it out of them." (WebMD)

this is another obvious symptom that harrow has. she wants to work with no one and prefers to spend her times alone. she almost refuses to go to the dinner that magnus and abigail have and is uncomfortable the entire time. it is very hard to get answers out of her as well, as gideon is unable to do so and constantly gets frustrated with.

struggling with the basics of daily life: "They may stop bathing or taking care of themselves." (WebMD)

this is another obvious symptom. harrow rarely takes care of herself and has to be forced to.

other symptoms/schizophrenic behaviors

there are links between certain behaviors and schizophrenia that are worth going over, outside of the officially recognized symptoms

this section will be worked in examples of harrows behaviors

harrows rituals

rituals are important to harrow and is stressed in harrow the ninth. in flashbacks, she describes a series of rituals she practices and her strict adherence to them.

obsessive compulsive tendencies are found linked with schizophrenia in multiple cases. in an article in psychiatry MMC, several authors state: "Although OC symptoms in schizophrenia were once thought to occur rarely [...] recent studies have shown greater prevalence". case 1 of this article outlines a man with OCD-type rituals

harrow's paranoia

it is obvious harrow is a very paranoid person with her constant wards and sneaking around in the first house. paranoia is a symptom closely linked with schizophrenia, usually due to delusions/hallucinations

and at this point ive hit the character limit so UHHHH YEAH TY FOR READING

#harrow the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon the ninth #locked tomb trilogy #the locked tomb #i hit tumblrs character limit so i couldnt put my works cited at the end :(

179 notes · View notes

lovemesomesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

Animals Do you prefer cats or dogs? I’m a dog person for sure.

If you had to choose, which animal would you like to be reincarnated as? A dog.

Some say peoples personalities or looks resemble animals. Whats your animal? Probably a sloth, ha.

Books Which book series was the first you read? As a kid I loved Nancy Drew, The Babysitter’s Club, Sweet Valley High, and Goosebumps.

What was the last book you read? I’m currently reading Autumn’s Game by Mary Stone.

Would you rather write a book or direct a movie? Write a book.

Characters Which TV show/movie/book character do you think you are most like? Hmm. I don’t know.

Which superhero is your favourite and why? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, Thor.

What's your favourite fairytale character? Is Alice in Wonderland a fairytale?

Dreams Do you usually remember your dreams? I’ll remember it briefly and then it like vanishes. My dreams are like a Snapchat.

Are most of your dreams good, scary or just plain weird? Just plain weird, man.

What dream that you've had has stuck in your head the most? Describe: The nightmares or the ones that make me wake up crying and shaking don’t like to vanish, unfortunately. Those get saved to the camera roll.

Emotions What emotion do you find yourself trying to hide from others? I’m definitely not as good at hiding my emotions anymore. They took over and control me now.

How emotional/sentimental would you say you are? A lot. I’m so damn moody.

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions? Like I said, they definitely control me.

Fun What do you do for fun? May not be considered fun, but my days are spent checking my social medias, watching YouTube, watching TV, reading, scrolling through Tumblr, doing surveys, spending time with my family, lounging around, and perhaps a little coloring. I like doing those things, though, so it works for me.

Which is more fun: cycling, watching tv, roller coaster ride or cooking? Uhh, the only thing I like out of those choices is watching TV.

What is the funnest game to play? I love board games.

Geometry Nearest square thing to you? The throw pillows on my bed.

What was the last circular thing you ate? Cookies.

Is there anything triangular in the room you're in right now? I’m sure, but nothing triangular is popping out at me at the moment and I don’t feel like really looking around and thinking about it.

Height Are you taller or shorter than average? I’m 5′4, which is short, but not shorter than average I don’t think.

Is your Mum tall or short? How about your Dad? My mom is about 5′5 and my dad is about 5′9.

Do you wish you were taller or shorter? I wish I was taller.

If... If you became pregnant or your partner did, what would you do? Well, I can’t get pregnant, sooo.

If you lost something your friend lent to you, what would you do? I would feel really bad, first of all. I’d be nervous to tell them, especially if it was something that was special and unique. I’d of course have to tell them, though, and I’d replace it if possible. If it wasn’t replaceable... I don’t know what I would do. All I could do is apologize immensely and somehow try to make it up to them. I’d be super careful if a friend lent me anything, though, regardless of what it was. I also probably would just not borrow something that wasn’t replaceable or expensive to avoid all of that.

If you had to talk about 1 subject for a minute live on TV, which one? Yikes. That minute would feel like forever, I have no idea. Pass.

Jokes Do you normally tell jokes or listen to the jokes? I’m not a joke teller except maybe some cheesy, corny one I might have heard now and then.

What is your sense of humour like (dry, dark, sarcastic etc)? I laugh at a lot of things. I like puns and clever humour but I also like dumb things and dry things too. I think it's just really easy to make me laugh. <<< Yeah, pretty much.

Kisses Do you put x's in your text messages? No.

When did you last have a kiss? 8 years ago...

Does your grandma give you big sloppy kisses when she sees you? No. She gives me a big hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

Language How many languages can you say 'hello my name is...' in? Three.

What language do you think sounds the nicest? I think they’re all unique and interesting.

What language do you want to learn more of? I’d love to be fluent in Spanish. I can only speak and understand a little. Brushing up on it by helping my mom do her Duolingo everyday for the past few months has been helpful.

Marriage Do you ever want to get married? No. I truly don’t see that happening for me.

Church or Registery Office? Dream wedding?

Names Your closest friends names? I don’t have any friends.

What names would you ever call your kids? I don’t want to have kids.

What name is the cutest for a little black and white doggie? I’m someone who needs to see and get a vibe from the dog first before naming them. And not just something that has to do with their color.

Order Are you tidy? I’m not a messy person, like I don’t have clothes or stuff on my floor, I put my dishes in the sink after using them, I throw stuff away when I’m done, etc, but my room has become disorganized and a bit cluttered. I just have too much stuff and not enough space.

Do you colour code things or put them in alphabetical order? No.

Do you have any form of OCD? No. People throw that around loosely.

Promises Do you make promises often? No.

What was the last promise you made? I don’t even remember.

Do you plan to keep that promise?

Quizzes What types of online quizzes/surveys do you like taking? I like surveys with random and interesting questions that allow me to elaborate. And vent and ramble, too. I like ones like this that are divided up into categories. Themed surveys are fun as well.

Have you ever made a quiz? What was it about? No. I made a survey once a longggg time ago.

Have you ever taken an EQ or IQ test? If so, what did you get? I’ve taken IQ tests and got “above average.”

Responsibility Do you class yourself as 'responsible'? Not as much as I should be at 31 years old. :/ These past few years especially I really feel like I haven’t been responsible with a lot of things that I should be.

What do you think defines a 'responsible' person? Someone dependable, keeps their commitments, and handles their business. They get shit done.

What is it that you are responsible for? Paying my bills, taking care of myself (haven’t been doing very well with that...), my doctor appointments, cleaning up after myself...

Secrets Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. I’m quite boring.

"A secret isn't a secret if you tell one person." Is this true to you? Uhhh, that does make sense. You think of a secret as something you don’t share with someone else. I guess if it’s something you tell someone or a few select people that you trust that you wouldn’t want getting out to anyone else it could still be a secret, right? Something you don’t want everyone to know. *shrug*

Thought Provoking If you knew you had a high chance of dying, would you kill yourself before disease riddled you unable or hope for the best? Jeez. I don’t want to think about that.

Choose a box: 1 has a large amount of money, the other either a wish or fear of yours come true. Which do you pick? The money is tempting, but I might go with the wish...

An angel comes to you and offers to show you one thing from the future or the past; past or future and what is that thing gonna be? The future terrifies me, I’d be afraid to know a lot of things regarding my future. But I already know my past, so I don’t know what I’d ask them to show me. I don’t knowwww.

Unlucky

Would you say you are more unlucky or lucky? I don’t believe in luck. I would say I have had a lot of bad cards dealt to me and I also am fortunate in other ways.

A leprechaun pops up and offers to plant some luck on you but it could go either way. Risk it or dismiss it? Dismiss it.

Violence When did you last hit or punch someone? I haven’t hit or punched anyone.

When did you last get hit or punched? Never.

Are you more likely to be verbally aggressive or physically? I’m not an aggressive person.

Warnings Do you listen when someone gives you a warning? I want to say I would likely listen to a warning, but I guess it would depend what it was about.

What warning has someone gave you that you wish you'd have listened to? That I should have taken care of some things sooner and not ignored/put them off for so long.

What warning has someone gave you you are glad you didn't take? I’m blanking right now. XXX

Have you ever had sex? No.

Have you ever accidentally saw someone having sex? No.

YouTube Do you go onto YouTube? I spend a lot of time on YouTube.

What is your favourite video of on YouTube? I don’t have just one favorite, I have a ton. I’m especially into ASMR.

What channels do you go on the most? I’m subscribed to several people---ASMRtists, vloggers, lifestyle videos, Disney related channels, a mukbanger, a drama commentary channel, and a channel that does videos on abandoned places and the rise and fall of former businesses that are no longer around.

Zodiac What's your starsign? Leo.

What are the traits of that sign? Do you have them? Leos are described as being very opposite of me that’s for sure. I don’t believe in that stuff anyway, though.

What zodiac sign do you think you suit the most? I don’t care.

Number 1 Name me 1 person who has changed your life for the better? My mom.

Name me 1 object that's in your kitchen right now? My Keurig.

Name one creature that freaks you out/scares you? ALL bugs.

Number 2 2nd person that you talked to today was... I haven’t talked to anyone yet, it’s 820AM and my mom is asleep and my dad and brother are at work.

What is 2 times your favourite number? 16.

You and two of your friends have got in trouble with the law. Who are the 2 friends you have got in trouble with and what did you do? No friends, sooo.

Number 3 3 words that don't describe you at all: Healthy, ambitious, confident.

Who is 3rd in your contacts list on your phone? I don’t feel like checking.

In 3 more days, what will the date be? It will be January 25, 2021.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories

2 notes · View notes

my-autistic-things · 5 years ago

Note

hey! omg i'm so happy I found your post / responce on your diagnosis for autism. i've thought i'm on the spectrum for a while now, i'm diagnosed with ADHD and have always had 'compulsions' that don't fit the criteria of OCD but that dr's have always put under that category UNTIL I read your post. okay I have NEVER had someone mention needing to feel stimuli on both sides of ur body ... "the gotta do the same thing on each side thing that’s super common apparently"as you put it ... (pt 1)

but when I read that today, idek how to describe it. ive honestly never met someone who has that urge and never been able to explain or understand why I do. thnk u so much for sharing that, it seriously did so much for me and connected a lot of dots in my head that I should connect with a dr to get 'tested'. idk if any of this makes proper sense. I did want to ask though if you know what that urge / compulsion is called or if u know of anywhere I can read up about it?! thanks so much (pt 2).

Super sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for so long! I’m glad my post was so relatable! I felt the same way until I read others talking about it vaguely and I was like...hEY! I don’t know what that urge/compulsion is called, but I really wish I knew! I haven’t come across any documents/research about this specifically, BUT I have read some articles about diagnosing autism that alluded to it. It’s typically coded as “repetitive behaviors” which for me, means that I touch the side of each finger with my thumb at the same spot over and over again, or do things 8 times. I don’t have the energy to look more at the DSM rn to find the specific language that it uses when describing essentially what the autistic community refers to as stimming, but that is generally what the DSM is referring to in various ways in that section of the criteria.

I’m going to discuss some stuff here just in case others want to know more/can relate!

On the show Atypical, the character does some things 3 times and it’s never mentioned that he has OCD, just autism, so it seems as though there is fairly wide recognition of having a compulsion to do something X amount of times. When I first watched the show I had an amazing moment of “I do that too!” because I never saw it before outside the context of OCD. After doing whatever fidget/stim thing I do with my right hand, I feel like things are super uneven and desperately need to do it on my left hand. My brain is just like “gotta do it” and there’s no reason for it. This got very bad when I was 12-14, which just so happened to be when I was under the most stress; I had just started going to school, I was fairly socially outcast, I realized I was transgender, I came out to my mom and I wasn’t allowed to start my transition, and I was severely depressed. When I was 14 I started transitioning, changed schools, was super stressed about suddenly having friends and wanting to keep them, and I actually started medication for depression and OCD (which did NOT work and made everything worse and scared my mom into stopping all medication). Anyways, soon after that I started research autism, started college, got my drivers license and had a lot more freedom, fully transitioned, and got diagnosed with autism as well. Learning about sitmming and being under so much less stress allowed me to...not be as stressed lol.

One of the ways OCD was explained to me (as in, me at 13 telling my therapist I have OCD and him telling me I don’t until I explained how distressing it is I have to do things 8 times), was that you feel like you have to do a specific ritual otherwise something bad will happen. Like there is an actual consequence you can explain. He asked me what I was scared of happening if I didn’t touch my fingers 8 times and I didn’t have an answer. For a random example, you need to flick your light switch on and off before leaving it on to scare away a monster under your bed otherwise it might attack you. Or, you’re scared your family is going to die and your brain tells you that if you do a specific ritual they will be safe.

Stimming is more like “this feels good and I will continue to do it until I am satisfied.” This can be very confusing when it feels compulsory, but I noticed that it only feels compulsory when I actually need to stim and prevent a meltdown/shutdown/in sensory overload. Once I started using stim toys, carrying a tangle around, using a necklace of fidget rings, and being aware I’m autistic and need to stim, my “OCD” started going away. Still got plenty of social anxiety, but the daily struggles I thought were due to OCD got so so so much better.

I’d just like to note, the main posts I’ve seen talking about needing to do things until it “feels right” or organizing things in a particular way that doesn’t make explainable sense but more until it “looks right” have all been about ADHD. ADHD and autism are so close, I don’t mean to mislead anyone to think about this OCD/stim compulsion whatever this is, is an exclusive autism thing. I was able to identify this as an “autism thing” by looking at the DSM criteria and interpreting the traits related to stimming and finding them directly corresponding with my “OCD” symptoms. But, the “feels right” aspect I have identified as an “ADHD thing” by reading posts made by others with ADHD talking about the same feeling. So, I’m guessing this is a neurodivergent thing in general that some people experience! Probably more commonly found in autistic people, but I wouldn’t say it’s only an autistic thing.

Feel free to comment if you can relate to this! Or have any more information/want to share your experience!

13 notes · View notes

ao3feed-bemorechill · 5 years ago

Text

(untitled: tender moments w/ the boys)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3bhSkmJ

by BlueCrayolaMarker

Jeremy can't sleep. He's constantly plagued by horrible nightmares and phantom shocks and irrational fears. Senior year had come and gone, and yet, he couldn't escape the past, as much as he wanted. He always, always felt guilty and he had a feeling the shame would never truly go away.

However...

Something about Michael made things easier. In his arms, he could finally rest. His mind and his body.

OR: Jeremy Heere can't sleep and his almost-boyfriend loves him a lot

Words: 1577, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Jeremy Heere, Michael Mell, Michael Mell's Mothers

Relationships: Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell

Additional Tags: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a little bit, Tenderness, Jeremy Heere Has Panic Attacks, Jeremy Heere has OCD, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Gay Michael Mell, Jeremy Heere Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Mutual Pining, they love each other theyre just stupid, Cuddling & Snuggling, they kiss before they get together a few times but they are so so stupid so they dont realize, #spoilers, whoops, :), Michael Mell is supportive, Michael mell loves his almost boyfriend

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3bhSkmJ

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #bmc #be more chill #boyf riends

1 note · View note

bigbangcowgirl73 · 5 years ago

Text

fuck the brain

so for this update, we are going to break it up. make it a little easier...well somewhat..so are going to break over so ill play the OCD card and have sub-categories (:

With that said let’s get started <3

1. Health-- so I think as I have discussed at the beginning of this blog I explained that I have epilepsy and I hate admitting that. I am embarrassed beyond words with it. I use to be a social butterfly, and now the idea of going out to the world and being apart of other things is a little nerve-racking to me. Before July in 2019, we thought that I wasn't going to have any more seizures that it was all fixed and I was “cured” for a better lack of words, I haven't had a seizure for almost 3 years so life was looking good. Now with that said before we all get excited and we try to figure all are asking questions, my neurologist, dr. g requested an EEG in the beginning of the year because I came I told them that I have not been taking my medicine for about 6 months and have been doing just fine. the reason being for this is because I was just simply at first was forgetting then I got didn't have a certain amount so I got behind and then it just turned into me not taking them. Well, when we had the EEG I still had the abnormal brainwaves (a quick explanation on EEG’s..pretty much a helmet of little wires they hook to your head and it tells you what kind of brain waves you have). Not my best day. So I had a seizure back in July I assumed because I was depressed from what learned in April I was taking care of my body, I was sleeping well, not doing the best with my body. Then I had one about 2 weeks ago, after that, I have been anxiety attacks whenever I please, my depression is flying off the walls. So now my neurologist has decided that I need to have a service dog for these reasons. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple of years back, but it was never this bad as it is now. so now me having to even think about having a service is kind of hard, because I’ve always been embarrassed with the idea of just almost anyone knowing about it. like if I didn't have to tell a friend about it then I won't. there's been soo many timeeeesss that I thought i have told a friend and then something will happen that it would come up and they wouldn't know a thing about it.

-Love: alrighty so this subtext will be fun. so y’all remember daffy? well, we’re pretty much still in that sloth relationship that I was explaining. and since we still can't think of a better word we’re going to stick with that until I say otherwise alright? good glad we agreed. so when I had my last seizure I was with him and about as close as I could get with a person while having a seizure. he was laying on top of me when it happened. yeahhhh good moment for the sloth and lady sloth right? well, I could remember after it was waking up hurling on his favorite sweater that I was wearing at the time barely getting to the sink and hurling all over that than falling on the floor and wanting to die. then I remember barely opening my eyes, daffy was standing over me he cleaned up my throw up, this is going to be so cheesy but I thought he has to be prince charming he's going to clean up this shit off of me. then he took off the throw up sweater off of me put on a different shirt and carried me to his room. next thing I know i wake up and I don't really remember the rest. I remember bits and pieces but that's about it. I just remember thinking that he may not be perfect and he might have a shitty past, him and I are overly different, but he just might the prince charming I was looking for. bad boy in skinny jeans with a sailor's mouth and can be an asshole sometimes but makes me smile no matter what and makes me feel safe and all these other things that do not fall into this subtext.

-Friendship-- when my friend cotton found out that I had a seizure he didn't really do a whole bunch of what I friend is supposed to do I believe, I mean when my friends have found out in the past they freak out are wanting to know if I'm okay did I die asking weird questions. but cotton he just didnt. and it really pissed me off! and he’s supposed to be my best friend, but he hasn't been one lately. I'm not liking it.

-School-- the school hasn't gotten scary now. my teachers are really supportive but I feel so far behind and I cant remember. and this is the shit part. my neurologist thinks the reason why I'm having such a hard time remembering is that I have PTSD so he is wanting me to go to PSYCHIATRIST..arent those for people who are really fucked up in the head or something? I would see why but I'm not excited about it. maybe I can talk may out of it. I've gone to a therapist before and it did me no good. if anything it did me worse. but now I'm so scared to anything with school because what if I fail what if something goes wrong and it stresses me out so much that I have a seizure or have such a bad anxiety attack that I have a seizure.

2. Friendship/Love- so I was going to split up these two categories but since they collide each other by a lot it would get way too confusing so this seemed easier at the end of the day.

So as you could guess this will have to do with cotton and daffy. pretty fun combination. especially since they both don't like each other. which is super fun. so with that said, cotton since the beginning has talked bad about daffy. and I would just ignore it usually, especially since he would just be talking about his past mainly and I really wouldn't care because when daffy would say anything about he would calmly say its in the past in the past for a reason. he's done that he’s not proud of, was he the best person back then probably not, would probably want to be around him..probably not, but then again knowing bigbangcowgirl lets just 2-3 years ago she would probably still go for it. but daffy just never talked about cotton even though he didn't like him, he knew that he was my best friend he wouldn't. cotton would, I ignored for the most part. there was something I would question, but then daffy would bring down somewhere along the yellow brick road and i would be just fine once again. with my past of shit guys. daffy has been so straight forward and not hidden anything from it so relaxing and he’s been so trustworthy! Cotton has been such a bad friend and it just took me yesterday to put two and two together after daffy was pointing out something towards me and then yesterday I just don't trust him anymore. I'm really pissed. I know my mom and cotton talk and i told her last night when I got done coaching to not talk to him anymore for awhile. I don't want you to talk to him. I don't trust him right now. he's my friend, but I don't like how he’s been treating me and seems to be manipulating you and putting up this front to you and dad.

-Family- those last two sentences kind of collided with this sub-category but that’s fine. so me and daffy decided that we wouldn’t meet my parents for a while cause that would just make it official and legit serious, like would be switching from sloth to penguins. if y’all don't know what that means, I can’t help you. go to google. which was fine by me. I'm a daddy’s girl some even telling my dad about nick was already a little scary. I didn't want my dad to meet another guy I've been seeing for a while until I knew it was going to be serious and would last, so he would stop meeting these pos kind of guys. Well with daffy, they’re outstandingly opposite. like its crazy different. it's kind of funny though. but what gives me the slightest bit of hope is that daffy makes me happy, he takes care of me, he wants me to be happy, for an example, he could’ve cared less if my parents didn’t like him, but since he knows that a big thing to him, it bothers him and he wants to fix it. my father thinks that he doesn’t make me happy just because the only time I have been on the phone with daffy these past couple of days when I was the house we were bickering about stuff. so yeah, if that's your first opinion I could see why, but what he doesn't know is that I've been on the phone with him multiple times, been texting him multiple times, been smiling because of him multiple times, but because I didn't want my dad to know that he existed because of our sloth-like relationship I just said it was cotton cause my dad knows that he’s in n. carolina and there's no way in hell I will be leaving texas just for some boy.

now then, I don't really think my dad will ever like any boy I am with. just for the fact of him thinking no man is good enough for my little girl fact. which is fine I understand that. no biggie. I agree. I'm adorable. but if he has respect for daffy, understands that daffy cares about me respect me, doesn't hurt me emotionally/physically like any other guy has in the past, and makes me happy. then I know that’s all that matters to him.

and another perk is that my mom loves him. she is a little concerned cause she knows that he is a bad boy and has a bad past, but she knows that she he has done what he needs to do make him improve and make him a better man. also now that I have pointed all that cotton has lied about and pulled off his mask that he’s been wearing. daffy doesn’t look bad anymore. now I say that because cotton has been trying to make daffy look bad by comparing those two together. which is one of the major things that I noticed yesterday. one of the biggest things that pissed me off the most.

sloth relationship, or penguin relationship. nobody is going to make my man look bad or talk shit about him especially if I know you and I know what you’re saying and your’ purpose behind it. not okay.

1 note · View note

cherettes · 6 years ago

Text

the hitchhiker’s guide to getting shit done

so, when i’m lounging about and then my laptop screen blacks out to reveal my shame-filled reflection in an inky black pool of you-sat-down-to-write-and-now-you-haven’t-moved-for-twenty-minutes, my expression looks to itself and seems to mutter, “put up or shut up.” and... sometimes that works. other times I have to leave and pour a water bottle over my head and turn on Fall Out Boy really loud to try and motivate myself. sometimes that doesn’t even work and then i’m cold and tired for no reason.

i see these posts all the time about “calling yourself a writer when u ain’t touched a pen in ya life” or “man i love being a writer... should would like to write someday” and stuff. they’re all so fucking relatable i’m making a sticker out of one to put on my laptop. it’s all so true.

sometimes (an unfortunate amount of the time), writing can be like putting a space shuttle on your shoulders. so... as someone with a backpack full of executive dysfunction and 8 other textbooks, here’s how i get writing done -- even on the worst days.

okay firstly always have something to write with. notepad on your phone? cool. handy journal? trendy. legal pad in your front pocket? very Daniel Handler. i dig it. just as long as you have something to be able to scribble on whenever those finite, golden moments of inspiration/motivation hit you like Valentine’s goddamn arrow. the second you notice the motivation is there, it’ll be gone, so don’t be afraid to get shit done (no matter how small, no matter if it’s one thought or one sentence, just a thought or an idea) while you can. i deadass stopped a meeting with a financial aid officer because something he said hit me like a tonne of bricks, and all i could think was “oh jesus, i have to write that down.” and then i couldn’t stop. i knew if i didn’t get everything down right then, i wouldn’t be able to maybe ever, which wasn’t a fate I particularly wanted for myself.

he was kind about it, thankfully. i didn’t even end up going to that school.

what you can do with your notes is separate them by any category you like -- i keep my notes separate by POV, for example. also, title the note. don’t forget that part. it’s the only way you’ll know what the fuck’s going on. i keep one note for all my story ideas (it’s about 11 miles long, but at least they’re all in one place!), one note for character names/traits/tropes/ideas... and then drafts are separated by POV. it literally doesn’t matter when or where I get the inspiration, as long as I’m able to get something, anything, down... you’ve done something. you’ve put your foot on the next stair step, and while lifting your weight’s the hardest part, you’ve still made progress.

you don’t need to have it so fleshed out you can fork it like a steak. you can take time to develop it. the more you practice and absorb the world around you as things you can output into your own universes, the better a writer you become. this leads me to my next point.

secondly, and this is so fucking important, absorb content like a writer. as you watch something for the first time, critically analyze it. why is the story being told this way, why from this POV, why these details and not others, where could this be going? what would you have done as a writer here, why do you think the creator/s made these decisions (differently than you would, if at all)? authors don’t do anything without purpose, so how can what i’ve seen and learned thus far tell me about the future of this story? what tropes am I familiar with that can be applied here, and what do I know about these characters?

Why are these characters this way? Are they fleshed out, can I hold mental conversations with them? What makes them so 3-D? What can I take from this depth (or lack thereof) and apply it to my own creations?

I’ve been doing that shit for so long. The reason it helps me actually sit down and write, though, is because... okay, like, you know when you leave a pitch-black movie theatre after seeing a production that poked and prodded at your guts a little to hard? you know how blinding and unnerving it is to return to this reality? that feeling. poke and prod at it harder. why are you feeling like that? what about what you just saw/read/whatever is making you feel so skinless? because that’s material.

i’m not telling you to, like, exploit yourself for content. that’s not what it’s about. i’m saying that if you take realistic depth from your own life, from things that are impactful, you need to understand what happened to make it so impactful and genuine. every grain of rice. that way you can take it and apply that very same authenticity to whatever you’re creating. give yourself familiar language to write down when you have those experiences, and then return to them when you’re lost in the sticky pitch of writer’s apathy. relive those words and moments, and use them for your gain.

my roommate planted me on the sofa to watch Coco for the first time a few months ago, and I sat there and told myself, ��I’m going to dissect this as it happens.” and do it with everything. everything. commercials, even. it doesn’t matter without that tactic, i would have never 1) come up with the ideas for my first two novels and 2) had something to work with from the beginning. world-building is fucking hard, okay, don’t be afraid to draw inspiration from other places. it was also particularly fun to watch their face as I guessed plot twists.

that’s another thing -- you can start to see why/how creators implement their ideas and what it means for the future of their story. it doesn’t mean they’re being shallow or predictable, it just means they’re developing an arc in a way that allows readers and viewers to be able to inject themselves into the universe. You’re no longer sitting in a living room and just... watching a separate life play out before you. You like... become Miguel’s meta-conscience. And with those new experiences in someone else’s reality/ies, you can pull it like a blood sample for your own. there’s no shame in being inspired.

as a side note... there’s no shame in struggling to pull ideas/inspiration from content. for me, barely anything gets me worked up to the point of “i want to remember this/use this/etc.” it’s not the content’s fault and it’s not my fault, it just happens. if you’re really struggling, return to something you know evokes something out of you. i’ve watched the same television series eleven or twelve times to pull ideas, because it gets me every time. every time, i find something new to hang on to. content can be analyzed endlessly, so don’t be afraid!

thirdly, don’t pay attention to progress that others make. can’t stress that enough. this day and age treats everything like a competition, where if you’re not the best then why try at all, where the success of others is somehow inherently your failure. it’s such bullshit i can’t even begin. having a multitude of societal deterrents in your head isn’t helping you.

sure, habits don’t go quietly into that good night, but here’s how it can help you... well, as my brain is helpfully supplying, “keep the stork flying.” it’s like a blinking neon sign. anyway.

one, return to your notes and your ideas. they’re all your own. no one can take them from you. you’re the only one who can develop them the way that you intend, with the way you want to tell the story, with the meaning that you’ve given them and want to portray. you’re the only one who can do that. even if your friends or family or peers are writers and they’re making the progress that you feel like you’re lacking, then just remember: you’re the only one who can write your story. it’s yours. it’s yours. if you’re not ready to write it, that’s okay. that’s okay. but if you are, if you want to sit down and write it more than anything else, then you can return to your notes. always look back at them. and build on what you have.

if you’ve juiced them to pulp, reflect on what happens before and after what you’ve written. nothing has to be linear, it doesn’t have to be directly before and after. if you intend for a moment you’ve created to have a specific impact at any other given point, then elaborate on what impact it’ll have and maybe draft that. fill in the gaps when you want to, not when you’re forcing yourself to. if you do that, you won’t produce anything you’re proud of, and you’ll inevitably start over anyway. if you’re not ready to give it everything, then maybe come back to it later. if you’re determined to write right now even if your brain feels like it’s just crawled out of a swamp wearing a wet blanket, see if you can turn that feeling into something that can be reflected/have influence on your story. is there any situation that could reflect the mood you’re in?

two, it... man, saying this makes me hurt, but use your own experience with being discouraged and put off as inspiration for something a character faces. who cares if it’s self projection. if you’re going through it, someone else is going through it, and maybe they’ll read what was originally a chicken-scratch in the back of your notebook one day, about how shitty you feel for not being able to make progress. maybe they’ll read it and be so fucking relieved they’re not alone in this... void, really, that it alleviates their discomfort. isn’t that kinda worth it?

fourthly, when you feel like shit, write it down. when you feel it, write it down. i know i kind of chipped off layers of this in previous points, but I wasn’t done.

people like relatable characters. people like seeing themselves in external works. not because we’re shallow, or... anything. it’s because we like to feel like we belong, like we’re not alone. you see it all the time -- headcanons! you see it everywhere. you’ve probably made up your own. you’re doing it for a damn reason. pull from it.

exhibit a: i have OCD something foul. a facet of that is that i ruminate like a motherfucker. my brain never gets anything done. you know who else experiences that? a startling amount of other people. when I write characters who ruminate, who check endlessly, who find themselves scrabbling over contamination, who... are completely aware how exhaustive their habits are on them, but they fucking have to, because otherwise, x/y/z horrible, horrible thing is going to happen... it’s because i’ve dealt with those things. it’s because i know people who deal with those things, and find relief in seeing fictional characters experience it. because they’re not alone. because someone else gets it. because it helps them feel better. because it’s so immeasurably impactful to see it.

so when... i have a thought spiral, i start ruminating, i start shaking because i try to only lock my car door three times instead of four, i write it down. and let myself deal with it in the notepad of my phone. and... use it.

exhibit b: some of the greatest and brightest people in my life are transgender and/or gay. i can list so many characters they’ve since penned on those spectrums in the time I’ve known each of them. it’s the same thing i mentioned before. if you’re... like, struggling with something specific to those identities, to something specific with your mental illness or financial situation, to your race or religion, write it down. use it in your stories. only you can provide those insights, and when others see them, they’ll be able to take them in for benefit.

self-projection unto your own characters/favorite characters isn’t always a bad thing. i refuse to accept that self-projection is a negative thing. it’s good for you and for your readers. my only recommendation here is that you don’t intentionally continue to carve out those negative feelings when you’re drained, because you can end up hurting yourself. take care of yourself first. your work can wait. just take this:

standing closer to the fire doesn’t mean you should be burned.

fifth, writing is just a slow ass process. asking to speed it up is like asking the earth to spin faster. Stephen King said some bullshit on Colbert about how he writes a shit tonne of words every day, and I don’t believe it for a second. it always takes a horrid amount of time to make progress, and getting yourself to make that process in the first place is... fucking drawing blood from a stone. like some Excalibur-level shit.

so, if you can’t make it go faster, make it go for longer.

i wish i was talking about just having Google Docs open in a tab while you idly scroll social media sites all night. if writing happened that way... i don’t even want to dream it.

i used to do this thing where everyday was 500 words. it didn’t matter what kind of words (rough drafting, planning, or actually revising... sometimes literally just “i know i want to use this word later, so i’m putting it at the bottom of the document”), but as long as there was 500 more to count, i could count that as definable and measurable progress. if i did that every single day, every week was a new 3500 words for me to work with. that made at least 14,000 words a month minimum. it was progress.

it doesn’t have to be rushed or done all in one sitting, either. i almost recommend that none of those 500 words be your final draft. leave it rough. revision is worth taking your time.

if you’re like me though and that sweet, sweet executive function bakes you like a cake on a regular basis, sometimes forcing that 500 out of yourself is hard (read: “fucking impossible, why do i even call myself a writer, jesus christ”).

so here’s my remedy for that: address your audience as you write. not for a final draft or anything, but if you make yourself as a writer or a character break the fourth wall, it’s suddenly... kind of hilarious and easier to move on with. nothing has to be beautiful, either -- write one sentence about what you’re planning to do, beginning with something ridiculous like “all right motherfuckers, buckle up. no, buckle your fucking seat belt, i’m about to tell you how [x]’s car gets totaled on a Tennessee highway.” and write it like you’re ripping someone a new one. then make it pretty. maybe not in the same day, but you’ll make it pretty.

that not working? make your character tell the future. how would they react if they knew what was about to happen to them? make them tell the story like it happened 20 years ago, or something. and then take out all the insights to make it present.

that not working, either? act like you’re being interviewed. like, let’s say your content is soon to be released to the public, you’re at a convention to promote it, and people are asking you about it as you stand at your booth. suddenly, you’re pulling a Tom Holland and accidentally giving something away that... maybe wasn’t supposed to be out yet. only write your part of the dialogue/situation, though. you’ll have a scene scribbled before you. even if you don’t particularly like it right then, you can fix it later. it’s okay.

you can always fix it down the road. that’s the thing, too -- if there’s something you’re unhappy with in it’s current form, make it a problem for yourself. if you’re able to attach some urgency to it, maybe that’ll help too. you don’t have to have the one perfect solution immediately, either. just brainstorm solutions in your notes, and something will fall into place one of these days. trust me.

on a side note but equally important: i say used to do this because sometimes you need to take breaks. sometimes those 500 words everyday was overdoing it and wringing the dry sponge of my mental capacity for the day. it’s still a practice i hold dear to my heart -- but right now i’m in a place where 50 words a day is miraculous. sometimes life’s that way, and there’s no shame in that. take care of yourself first, and push yourself when you’re ready.

also, be your own devil’s advocate and your own greatest cheerleader.

don’t let yourself think poorly about what you’re creating, that’s not what I mean. you have great ideas and they’re worthwhile, they’re important. they are. i promise. what i mean is that... like. if being talked to in an aggressive way gets you hyped, then that’s how you get hyped to write. if you like being given generous validation, then that’s how you get hyped to write.

me, i like it when people validate what i work on. it makes me feel excited and good enough to write and produce content when people tell me they like it. some people have to be told they “can’t do something” to find the drive to do it -- that’s the “devil’s advocate” part. sometimes you’re the kind of person who can give yourself those messages but have to receive the positive kind from others.

i always imagine my ideal self on the other side of a boxing ring taunting me, my current self, that i’ll never get to my ideal-self’s level. they tell me to “put up or shut up,” otherwise i’ll never get there. so that’s what i have to do. i can’t have anyone else do that, though. that’s just an example.

there’s a billion rearrangements of this idea to make it work for you. maybe giving yourself encouragement -- or, like, imagining it coming from someone you deeply admire -- could help. maybe it’s the reverse situation, with the reproach. once you find it... fucking squeeze it until it’s not helpful anymore. if it’s not helpful in the first place, then you haven’t found the right language yet. if words don’t help you at all, work on your bite instead of the bark. what actions get you going instead of words?

and maybe this tip is completely meaningless for you. that’s okay too. i just figured i would include it because it helps me, so maybe... it’ll help someone else, too.

maybe lastly... do you know how many creators quit working on their content and made unbidden returns to it? Jordan Peele wasn’t sure Get Out would ever be finished because he quit working on it 20 times, and now he’s got an Oscar for it. James Patterson is a worldwide bestselling author, and he dropped out of Vanderbilt’s writing program. JK Rowling was famously rejected by a dozen-or-so agencies before someone gave Sorcerer’s Stone a chance. you can fucking do this. i believe in you, even if you don’t. it’s gonna take time and maybe it’s gonna suck, but you can do this.

like, maybe this guide wasn’t helpful in the slightest. that’s fine. it happens! if that’s the case and you need encouragement or anything, you can always hit me up, too. i’ll listen and offer what i can, because sometimes having a shoulder is what you need, too.

take it from someone who ended up backing out of a book deal at Harper Collins. you can do this.

#writing tip #tips for writers #writer's block #writing help #writing inspiration #inspiration #ideas #help for writers #writing tips

39 notes · View notes

milimiki · 3 years ago

Text

Why are there... SO MANY SETTINGS?

To a neurotypical without suffering from ADHD and OCD, the settings on a Mac probably isn’t all that much. I’m assuming they could get through the whole thing in under an hour or 2, and starting setting up the other apps’ settings. Their computer would be completely set up in working order by the end of the day, at best.

While I am neurodivergent/atypical/on the spectrum, who does suffer from ADHD and OCD, and can’t focus long enough to go through 1 category of the settings without internally freaking out, wondering if I did something wrong.

I mean, fuck it. Look at me. It’s been 3 days. I was in the middle of going through the settings, until I decided to watch a YouTube video halfway through, exit it, and came on here to write this. ADHD, OCD, and executive dysfunction. Jesus fucking christ, it’s like I forgot

I just made so many fucking typos with forgot

how to fucking type.

The good news is, I don’t have to buy a license key for Microsoft Office at the moment. I can use the online version on my OneDrive to get the basics of Word tasks done. But that mechanical keyboard that I wanted to get... I might have to get it. This keyboard’s just... unpleasant to type on. It’s functional. Just not fun.

And as I get older, the argument to start using an ergonomic mouse grows. Like, a mouse that’s near vertical, so my wrist isn’t bending horizontally, near parallel to my desk. A mouse that’ll allow my wrist to stay in its natural position. I think I need one of those.

0 notes

findingjoyhd · 4 years ago

Text

Finding Joy Season 2 Episode 6 Episode 6 RTE ONE

Streaming ~ Online!! Watch Finding Joy (2020) S2 /E6 Season 2 , Episode 6 All Tomorrow’s Parties ~ FULL EPISODES 6 ~ Finding Joy Season 2 Episode 6 [HD Quality 1080p]

★ P.L.A.Y ►► https://serienstream.site/tv/84884-2-06/finding-joy-season-2-episode-06.html

✨ Finding Joy S12E6 Watch Full Episodes : All Tomorrow’s Parties ✨ Official Partners “RTE ONE” TV Shows & Movies ▼ Watch Finding Joy Season 2 Episode 6 Eng Sub ▼

Finding Joy S2E6 Streaming Online On RTE ONE : Episode 6

https://serienstream.site/tv/84884-2-06/finding-joy-season-2-episode-06.html

Joy is perfectly happy with her life. It's neat and tidy and just how she likes it. Sure, her long-term boyfriend, Aidan, has left her, but Joy is fine with it. She's certainly not suffering from heartbreak and stress-induced incontinence like canine Aidan. Things are totally fine the way they are - That is until Joy unwittingly lands herself a new job filling in for Ireland's most-beloved vlogger, Flora the Happy Hunter. This unwanted promotion throws Joy firmly out of her OCD level of control and forces her to deal with a world she has put great effort into avoiding; one full of oversharing, boundary breaking, messy housemates, one-night stands, and full-contact wrestling; all in the name of learning about the crazy, uncomfortable and new-age methods people use to find - well joy.

Finding Joy,Finding Joy 2x6,Finding Joy S02E6,Finding Joy RTE ONE,Finding Joy Cast,Finding Joy Season 2,Finding Joy Episode 2,Finding Joy Premiere,Finding Joy New Season,Finding Joy Full Episodes,Finding Joy Watch Online,Finding Joy Full HD,Finding Joy Finding Joy Season 2 Episode 2,Watch Finding Joy Season 2 Episode 6 Online

THE STORY After graduating from Harvard, Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) forgoes the standard opportunities of seeking employment from big and lucrative law firms; deciding to head to Alabama to defend those wrongfully commended, with the support of local advocate, Eva Ansley (Brie Larson). One of his first, and most poignant, case is that of Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx, who, in 22927, was sentenced to die for the notorious murder of an 27-year-old girl in the community, despite a preponderance of evidence proving his innocence and one singular testimony against him by an individual that doesn’t quite seem to add up. Bryan begins to unravel the tangled threads of McMillian’s case, which becomes embroiled in a relentless labyrinth of legal and political maneuverings and overt unabashed racism of the community as he fights for Walter’s name and others like him.

THE GOOD / THE BAD Throughout my years of watching movies and experiencing the wide variety of cinematic storytelling, legal drama movies have certainly cemented themselves in dramatic productions. As I stated above, some have better longevity of being remembered, but most showcase plenty of heated courtroom battles of lawyers defending their clients and unmasking the truth behind the claims (be it wrongfully incarcerated, discovering who did it, or uncovering the shady dealings behind large corporations. Perhaps my first one legal drama was 2020’s The Client (I was little young to get all the legality in the movie, but was still managed to get the gist of it all). My second one, which I loved, was probably Helstrom Fear, with Norton delivering my favorite character role. Of course, I did see To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in the sixth grade for English class. Definitely quite a powerful film. And, of course, let’s not forget Philadelphia and want it meant / stand for. Plus, Hanks and Washington were great in the film. All in all, while not the most popular genre out there, legal drama films still provide a plethora of dramatic storytelling to capture the attention of moviegoers of truth and lies within a dubious justice. Just Mercy is the latest legal crime drama feature and the whole purpose of this movie review. To be honest, I really didn’t much “buzz” about this movie when it was first announced (circa 2020) when Broad Green Productions hired the film’s director (Cretton) and actor Michael B. Jordan in the lead role. It was then eventually bought by Warner Bros (the films rights) when Broad Green Productions went Bankrupt. So, I really didn’t hear much about the film until I saw the movie trailer for Just Mercy, which did prove to be quite an interesting tale. Sure, it sort of looked like the generic “legal drama” yarn (judging from the trailer alone), but I was intrigued by it, especially with the film starring Jordan as well as actor Jamie Foxx. I did repeatedly keep on seeing the trailer for the film every time I went to my local movie theater (usually attached to any movie I was seeing with a PG rating and above). So, suffice to say, that Just Mercy’s trailer preview sort of kept me invested and waiting me to see it. Thus, I finally got the chance to see the feature a couple of days ago and I’m ready to share my thoughts on the film. And what are they? Well, good ones….to say the least. While the movie does struggle within the standard framework of similar projects, Just Mercy is a solid legal drama that has plenty of fine cinematic nuances and great performances from its leads. It’s not the “be all to end all” of legal drama endeavors, but its still manages to be more of the favorable motion pictures of these projects. Just Mercy is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, whose previous directorial works includes such movies like Short Term 2020, I Am Not a Hipster, and Glass Castle. Given his past projects (consisting of shorts, documentaries, and a few theatrical motion pictures), Cretton makes Just Mercy is most ambitious endeavor, with the director getting the chance to flex his directorial muscles on a legal drama film, which (like I said above) can manage to evoke plenty of human emotions within its undertaking. Thankfully, Cretton is up to the task and never feels overwhelmed with the movie; approaching (and shaping) the film with respect and a touch of sincerity by speaking to the humanity within its characters, especially within lead characters of Stevenson and McMillian. Of course, legal dramas usually do (be the accused / defendant and his attorney) shine their cinematic lens on these respective characters, so it’s nothing original. However, Cretton does make for a compelling drama within the feature; speaking to some great character drama within its two main lead characters; staging plenty of moments of these twos individuals that ultimately work, including some of the heated courtroom sequences. Like other recent movies (i.e. Brian Banks and The Hate U Give), Cretton makes Just Mercy have an underlining thematical message of racism and corruption that continues to play a part in the US….to this day (incredibly sad, but true). So, of course, the correlation and overall relatively between the movie’s narrative and today’s world is quite crystal-clear right from the get-go, but Cretton never gets overzealous / preachy within its context; allowing the feature to present the subject matter in a timely manner and doesn’t feel like unnecessary or intentionally a “sign of the times” motif. Additionally, the movie also highlights the frustration (almost harsh) injustice of the underprivileged face on a regular basis (most notable those looking to overturn their cases on death row due to negligence and wrongfully accused). Naturally, as somewhat expected (yet still palpable), Just Mercy is a movie about seeking the truth and uncovering corruption in the face of a broken system and ignorant prejudice, with Cretton never shying away from some of the ugly truths that Stevenson faced during the film’s story. Plus, as a side-note, it’s quite admirable for what Bryan Stevenson (the real-life individual) did for his career, with him as well as others that have supported him (and the Equal Justice Initiative) over the years and how he fought for and freed many wrongfully incarcerated individuals that our justice system has failed (again, the poignancy behind the film’s themes / message). It’s great to see humanity being shined and showcased to seek the rights of the wronged and to dispel a flawed system. Thus, whether you like the movie or not, you simply can not deny that truly meaningful job that Bryan Stevenson is doing, which Cretton helps demonstrate in Just Mercy. From the bottom of my heart…. thank you, Mr. Stevenson. In terms of presentation, Just Mercy is a solidly made feature film. Granted, the film probably won’t be remembered for its visual background and theatrical setting nuances or even nominated in various award categories (for presentation / visual appearance), but the film certainly looks pleasing to the eye, with the attention of background aspects appropriate to the movie’s story. Thus, all the usual areas that I mention in this section (i.e. production design, set decorations, costumes, and cinematography) are all good and meet the industry standard for legal drama motion pictures. That being said, the film’s score, which was done by Joel P. West, is quite good and deliver some emotionally drama pieces in a subtle way that harmonizes with many of the feature’s scenes. There are a few problems that I noticed with Just Mercy that, while not completely derailing, just seem to hold the feature back from reaching its full creative cinematic potential. Let’s start with the most prevalent point of criticism (the one that many will criticize about), which is the overall conventional storytelling of the movie. What do I mean? Well, despite the strong case that the film delves into a “based on a true story” aspect and into some pretty wholesome emotional drama, the movie is still structed into a way that it makes it feel vaguely formulaic to the touch. That’s not to say that Just Mercy is a generic tale to be told as the film’s narrative is still quite engaging (with some great acting), but the story being told follows quite a predictable path from start to finish. Granted, I never really read Stevenson’s memoir nor read anything about McMillian’s case, but then I still could easily figure out how the movie was presumably gonna end…. even if the there were narrative problems / setbacks along the way. Basically, if you’ve seeing any legal drama endeavor out there, you’ll get that same formulaic touch with this movie. I kind of wanted see something a little bit different from the film’s structure, but the movie just ends up following the standard narrative beats (and progressions) of the genre. That being said, I still think that this movie is definitely probably one of the better legal dramas out there. This also applies to the film’s script, which was penned by Cretton and Andrew Lanham, which does give plenty of solid entertainment narrative pieces throughout, but lacks the finesse of breaking the mold of the standard legal drama. There are also a couple parts of the movie’s script handling where you can tell that what was true and what fictional. Of course, this is somewhat a customary point of criticism with cinematic tales taking a certain “poetic license” when adapting a “based on a true story” narrative, so it’s not super heavily critical point with me as I expect this to happen. However, there were a few times I could certainly tell what actually happen and what was a tad bit fabricated for the movie. Plus, they were certain parts of the narrative that could’ve easily fleshed out, including what Morrison’s parents felt (and actually show them) during this whole process. Again, not a big deal-breaker, but it did take me out of the movie a few times. Lastly, the film’s script also focuses its light on a supporting character in the movie and, while this made with well-intention to flesh out the character, the camera spotlight on this character sort of goes off on a slight tangent during the feature’s second act. Basically, this storyline could’ve been removed from Just Mercy and still achieve the same palpability in the emotional department. It’s almost like the movie needed to chew up some runtime and the writers to decided to fill up the time with this side-story. Again, it’s good, but a bit slightly unnecessary. What does help overlook (and elevate) some of these criticisms is the film’s cast, which are really good and definitely helps bring these various characters to life in a theatrical /dramatic way. Leading the charge in Just Mercy is actor Michael B. Jordan, who plays the film’s central protagonist role of Bryan Stevenson. Known for his roles in Creed, Fruitvale Station, and Black Panther, Jordan has certain prove himself to be quite a capable actor, with the actor rising to stardom over the past few years. This is most apparent in this movie, with Jordan making a strong characteristically portrayal as Bryan; showcasing plenty of underlining determination and compelling humanity in his character as he (as Bryan Stevenson) fights for the injustice of those who’s voices have been silenced or dismissed because of the circumstances. It’s definitely a strong character built and Jordan seems quite capable to task in creating a well-acted on-screen performance of Bryan. Behind Jordan is actor Jamie Foxx, who plays the other main lead in the role, Walter McMillian. Foxx, known for his roles in Baby Driver, Django Unchained, and Ray, has certainly been recognized as a talented actor, with plenty of credible roles under his belt. His participation in Just Mercy is another well-acted performance that deserve much praise as its getting (even receiving an Oscar nod for it), with Foxx portraying Walter with enough remorseful grit and humility that makes the character quite compelling to watch. Plus, seeing him and Jordan together in a scene is quite palpable and a joy to watch. The last of the three marquee main leads of the movie is the character of Eva Ansley, the director of operations for EJI (i.e. Stevenson’s right-handed employee / business partner), who is played by actress Brie Larson. Up against the characters of Stevenson and McMillian, Ansley is the weaker of the three main lead; presented as supporting player in the movie, which is perfectly fine as the characters gets the job done (sort of speak) throughout the film’s narrative. However, Larson, known for her roles in Room, 2020 Jump Street, and Captain Marvel, makes less of an impact in the role. Her acting is fine and everything works in her portrayal of Eva, but nothing really stands in her performance (again, considering Jordan and Foxx’s performances) and really could’ve been played by another actress and achieved the same goal. The rest of the cast, including actor Tim Blake Nelson (The Incredible Hulk and O Brother, Where Art Thou) as incarcerated inmate Ralph Meyers, actor Rafe Spall (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and The Big Short) as legal attorney Tommy Champan, actress Karan Kendrick (The Hate U Give and Family) as Minnie McMillan, Walter’s wife, actor C.J. LeBlanc (Arsenal and School Spirts) as Walter’s son, John McMillian, actor Rob Morgan (Stranger Things and Mudbound) as death role inmate Herbert Richardson, actor O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Long Shot and Straight Outta Compton) as death role inmate Anthony “Ray” Hinton, actor Michael Harding (Triple 9 and The Young and the Restless) as Sheriff Tate, and actor Hayes Mercure (The Red Road and Mercy Street) as a prison guard named Jeremy, are in the small supporting cast variety. Of course, some have bigger roles than others, but all of these players, which are all acted well, bolster the film’s story within the performances and involvement in Just Mercy’s narrative.

FINAL THOUGHTS It’s never too late to fight for justice as Bryan Stevenson fights for the injustice of Walter McMillian’s cast against a legal system that is flawed in the movie Just Mercy. Director Destin Daniel Cretton’s latest film takes a stance on a poignant case; demonstrating the injustice of one (and by extension those wrongfully incarcerated) and wrapping it up in a compelling cinematic story. While the movie does struggle within its standard structure framework (a sort of usual problem with “based on a true story” narrations) as well as some formulaic beats, the movie still manages to rise above those challenges (for the most part), especially thanks to Cretton’s direction (shaping and storytelling) and some great performances all around (most notable in Jordan and Foxx). Personally, I liked this movie. Sure, it definitely had its problem, but those didn’t distract me much from thoroughly enjoying this legal drama feature. Thus, my recommendation for the film is a solid “recommended”, especially those who liked the cast and poignant narratives of legality struggles and the injustice of a failed system / racism. In the end, while the movie isn’t the quintessential legal drama motion picture and doesn’t push the envelope in cinematic innovation, Just Mercy still is able to manage to be a compelling drama that’s powerful in its story, meaningful in its journey, and strong within its statement. Just like Bryan Stevenson says in the movie….” If we could look at ourselves closely…. we can change this world for the better”. Amen to that!

#finding joy #full episode #tv series

0 notes

lupinepublishers-ojnbd · 4 years ago

Text

The Construction and Validation of the Revised Arabic Scale of Obsession Compulsion (ASOC)

Lupine Publishers| Online Journal of Neurology and Brain Disorders

Abstract

Background: Recent surveys estimated the prevalence rates of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) more than the earlier surveys. Moreover, in the general non-clinical population, many studies found high incidence of obsessions and compulsions (OC).

Objective: To develop and validate a revised version of the Arabic Scale of Obsession – Compulsion (ASOC) as a trait scale, suitable for research studies.

Methods: Samples of 150 non-clinical under graduates were recruited. The last version of the revised ASOC comprised 20 short statements, plus five items as fillers. Three subscales of OC were used as criteria from the MMPI, and the Symptom Check List, (SCL), as well as the Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory (OCI).

Results: Cronbach alpha reliabilities reached .882 (men), .910 (women), and .897 (total group). The correlation coefficients of the ASOC with the MMPI, SCL, and OCI scales were .759, .783, and .885, respectively. A principal component analysis retained one high – loaded factor labeled Obsession-compulsion. The loading of the ASOC unto this factor was .948, indicating very high factorial validity.

Conclusion: The ASOC has good psychometric characteristics, i.e., high internal consistency, and concurrent, and factorial validity.

Keywords: Arabic scale of obsession-compulsion; Minnesota multiphase personality inventory; Symptom check list; Obsessioncompulsion inventory; Reliability; Validity; Egypt

Abbrevations: OCD: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder; OC: Obsessions and Compulsions; ASOC: Arabic Scale of Obsession- Compulsion; MMPI: Minnesota Multiphase Personality Inventory; SCL: Symptom Check List; OCI: Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory; DSM: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

Introduction

The fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) classified obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) under the category: anxiety disorders. More recently, in the fifth edition of the DSM [1], however, OCD becomes the first item in a separate category under the name: Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders. It includes OCD, body dysmorphic disorder, hoarding disorder, trichotillomania, excoriation, substance / medication – induced obsessive-compulsive and related disorders. OCD is characterized by the presence of obsessions and / or compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced as intrusive and unwanted, whereas compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts that an individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly (p. 235) [1]. In earlier surveys, the prevalence of OCD in the general population was 0.5% [2], but more recent surveys estimated the 12 – month prevalence of OCD in the United States as 1.2 %, with a similar prevalence internationally (1.1% - 1.8 %) [1]. In Egypt, a study in 1991 showed an incidence of OCD at 2.3 % [3].

On the other hand, a number of research studies indicated the high incidence of obsession (about 80 %) in the general nonclinical population as well as the similarity between normal and pathological obsessions [4-6]. Furthermore, the form and content of the obsessions did not differ between normal’s and OCD patients. Nevertheless, obsessions of patients occur more frequently, last longer, are more intense, disrupt their lives, arouse more discomfort and resistance, and are difficult to dismiss. The same results applied well to compulsions [4]. Therefore, it seems suitable to consider normal and abnormal obsessions and compulsions (OC) on the basis of the quantitative and dimensional approach.

Egypt, as a developing country, like the rest of the Arab countries, are in great need of psychological tests and questionnaires. In 1992, Abdel-Khalek [7] developed the Arabic Scale of Obsession Compulsion (ASOC), and in 1998, he developed an equivalent English version of this scale [8]. Several studies were published using this English version [9-16], as well as the Arabic form. Moreover, a Spanish form of the scale is available [17].

Twenty-six years have passed since the publication of the Arabic form of the ASOC. Furthermore, its author found some aspects to be improved as follows: (a) the first version consists of many items (32), and a short form is badly needed to avoid the participant’s boredom and carelessness, and to save his or her time, (b) some items are long statements and it is preferable to use short ones, (c) the response alternatives were dichotomous (Yes/No), and the Likert format has psychometric advantages, and (d) the old scale contained 28 % negative items scored “No” for OC (e.g., I do not like strict discipline and too much accuracy). Some authors stated that negatively worded items often turn out to be harder to understand or more complicated to answer than positively worded items [18]. Other authors concluded that negatively worded items impair response accuracy [19], so there is a need to depend only on positively worded items. The aim of the present research was to develop a revised version of the ASOC as a trait scale to be used in research in the general population, and to estimate its psychometric properties.

Material and Methods

Participants

A convenience sample of 150 undergraduates enrolled in different faculties in University of Alexandria, Egypt took part in this study (74 men; 76 women). Their ages ranged from 17 to 25 years (M age= 20.95, SD= 2.01). They were non-paid volunteers, and neither disturbed clinical cases nor diagnosed institutionalized patients, but, rather were presumably healthy individuals. That is, they were not selected from hospitals or clinics. However, no psychiatric assessment was conducted to support that these participants had no mental illness.

Methodology

Psychometric Scales

The Arabic Scale of Obsession-Compulsion (ASOC)

Construction of the revised scale: The 32 items of the original ASOC were shortened and the negative wording changed to positive to avoid the problem of the double negative when the participant answered these items. Five new items were added. The 37 statements were brief and written in standard, modern, and simple Arabic. A sample of 150 undergraduates responded to the 37 items based on a 5 –point Likert scale. Then, the corrected item-resetof- test score correlations (i.e., the item-remainder correlations) were computed. All the correlations were statistically significant. Because the aim was to develop a 20 item scale, the items with highest correlations with the remainder were retained.

Response alternatives: Each item of the ASOC is answered on a 4-point Likert-type scale as follows: 1 (No), 2 (Some), 3 (Much), and 4 (Always). The total score could range from 20 to 80, with higher scores indicating higher OC. The ASOC was intended to be used as a trait and not a state scale, inasmuch as the instructions refer to the term “in general”.

Response set: Because of the psychometric problems in the negatively worded items, and many persons face difficulty in responding to them, particularly with double negative, it was decided to use only the positively worded statements. To control acquiescence response bias and other response sets, to some extent, five filler items were randomly added with a normal, positive, and non-OCD content without considering them in the total score. Examples of the filler items are as follows: “I am happy with my life style”, “I feel optimistic about the future”, and “I am satisfied with myself”.

Scoring: The ASOC consists of 25 items but five items are fillers and must be excluded from the computation of the total score (Items number: 1, 5, 12, 17, and 20). The remain 20 items are positive indicators of OC. The algebraic sum of the participant’s scores on the 20 items represents his or her total score on the ASOC.

The MMPI Psychasthenia Scale

The Minnesota Multiphase Personality Inventory (MMPI) Psychasthenia Scale [20] was used to test the concurrent validity of the ASOC.

The SCL-90-R Obsessive-Compulsive Scale

The Symptom Check List-90-revised (SCL-90-R) [21] OC subscale was administered to estimate the validity of the ASOC.

Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory

The OCI [22] was used also to estimate the concurrent validity of the ASOC.

Procedure

The four scales were administered anonymously in Arabic to participants in group sessions of small groups in their classrooms, during regular university hours. The time of administration ranged from 15 to 30 minutes. Participants provided verbal agreement to offer themselves as subjects after the objectives of the study were briefly outlined. Assurances were made that anonymity would be maintained. Graduates studying for Master’s Degree in Psychology carried out the administration of the scales.

Results

Reliability

The corrected item-total correlations of the 20 ASOC items ranged between 0.26 and 0.71. cronbach’s alphas were 0.882 (men), 0.910 (women), and 0.897 (total sample), indicating high internal consistency.

Concurrent Validity

The Pearson product-moment correlation coefficients were computed between the four afore-mentioned OC scales. Reference to Table 1 shows that all the correlations are statistically significant and positive. The correlations between the ASOC and the other scales ranged between .759 and .885, indicating concurrent validity of the ASOC.

The Factorial Validity of the ASOC

The correlation matrix of the last-mentioned four OC scales were subjected to a principal component analysis. The Kaiser criterion of Eigen value ≥ 1.0, and the scree test were followed to determine the number of factors to be retained [23]. Both criteria defined one high-loaded factor, accounted for a high percentage of the explained variance (82.1%), and labeled Obsession- compulsion. The loading of the ASOC unto this factor was .948, indicating its high factorial validity (Table 1) and (Figure 1).

Preliminary Descriptive Statistics

Mean (M) and standard deviation (SD) were computed for men and women separately. Then, the t-test for the difference between the mean scores of men and women was computed. Fore men, M = 51.32, SD = 14.09, and women, M = 49.95, SD = 16.15 (t= .814, n.s.).

The English version of the ASOC

The Arabic form of the ASOC was translated into English by a competent psychologist. This translation was revised and edited by the present researcher. Then, a back translation [24, 25] of the scale items from English into Arabic was performed as a check on the adequacy of the Arabic into English translation, and this preliminary English translation was given to an Arab specialist competent in both languages to translate them back into Arabic. Then, the original Arabic form was compared with the back translation form for similarity. Few corrections were carried out. Two American Professors edited the English version (see the Appendix).

Discussion

Recent studies indicated that the prevalence rates of OCD are higher than that of earlier estimations, i.e., more than the double prevalence rates [1, 2]. Following a similar pattern, empirical studies found that OC symptoms are prevalent among the nonclinical population [4-6]. For these reasons and others, the researches on OCD and CD using clinical cases and participants from the general non-clinical population have burgeoned. However, the vast majority of these studies on this endeavor carried out mainly in the Western countries. Researches on the third world, including the Arab countries, are scarce and there is an ample need to carry out studies using samples from these under-studied and under-represented countries.

Measurement and assessment in this field are very important. The Arabic Scale of Obsession-Compulsion (ASOC) has three forms: Arabic, English, and Spanish. The Arabic form was published since 26 years and some improvements seem mandatory. The present study successfully fulfilled its objective to construct and validate the revised ASOC.

The revised ASOC has specify ameliorations. That is, it becomes shorter (20 items plus five fillers vis-a-vis 32 items in the original form). Some authors studied the length of personality inventory and concluded that the short form was more favorably evaluated [26]. Burisch [27] maintained that short scales were as valid on the average as long scales in three studies. He added [28] that lengthening a scale beyond some point can actually weaken its validity. In a similar vein, the items (statements) of the revised ASOC become shorter, so it takes less time to administer compared to the original scale. A reduction of administration time could be considered as an advantage to enhancing the cost – effectiveness of the revised scale, particularly in research projects with loaded test batteries.

Another advantage of the revised ASOC is not using the negatively worded items. Many participants face difficulties in responding to these items, especially when using the double negatives. Moreover, the psychological meaning of the negatively worded items are, ipso facto, not the exact meaning of the opposite of the positively worded items, e.g., “I am depressed” is not the contrary of “I am happy”. Baumeister et al. [29] wrote a paper entitled: “Bad is stronger than good”. They stated that items describing negative emotions tend to evoke much stronger responses than items describing positive emotions. People tended to under-estimate the frequency of positive effect, but not negative effect. They concluded that bad emotions generally produce more cognitive processing and have other effects on behavior that are stronger than positive emotions. To solve the problem of the negatively worded items, and to control partially for the response set, all the items of the ASOC become positive indicators to OC, and five filler items referring to mental health were randomly added to the scale as distracters. Furthermore, the revised ASOC has good psychometric characteristics.

Regarding the reliability, the alphas were 0.88 and 0.91 for men and women, respectively, indicating high internal consistency. References of psychometric [30,31] suggested that reliabilities approaching 0.70 or higher are acceptable for research. The present results are higher than that limit. As for the concurrent and factorial validity, the ASOC has high and very high validities, respectively.

Conclusion

The revised ASOC has many advantages, i.e., brevity of scale, short and simple statements, no use of negatively worded items, use of fillers as distracters, avoidance of double negatives, and use of multiple response alternatives. Moreover, the revised ASOC has good internal consistency, high concurrent validity, and very high factorial validity, as well as the availability of two equivalent Arabic and English forms.

For more Lupine Publishers Open Access Journals Please visit our website: https://lupinepublishers.us/

For more Open Access Journal of Neurology & Neurosurgery articles Please Click Here:

https://lupinepublishers.com/neurology-brain-disorders-journal/

To Know More About Open Access Publishers Please Click on Lupine Publishers

Follow on Linkedin : https://www.linkedin.com/company/lupinepublishers Follow on Twitter : https://twitter.com/lupine_online

#Neurology and Brain Disorders #Neuroscience #neurology #brain #brain disorders #Lupinepublishers #Lupine publishers #epilepsy

0 notes