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autumn-leaves · 4 months ago

Note

it's fanfic writer appreciation week and i wanted to take a minute to appreciate you!! i recently read your vld fic on AO3 and loved it so much. you're a very talented writer with creative ideas and great dialogue. you're also a delightful person to interact with in any capacity!! i think you have a lot to be proud of :)

I am. So genuinely touched by this, thank you 😭 I have been a very big fan of your writing for years now, and knowing you have read my writing is insane, and I'm especially grateful because I know you cut ties with that fandom a while ago.

Thank you so much for this kind message, I read it and blacked out and wrote a camp camp fic for you 😭😭 hope you enjoy, and thank you for being you!!! <3

(written all in one go and barely checked for errors, so my apologies for any mistakes)

When Gwen woke up that morning, she knew it was going to be a terrible day. She didn’t know the how or the why yet, but deep down something was telling her to roll over, close her eyes, and block out the world until the sun rose again tomorrow.

Unfortunately for Gwen, that wasn’t how being responsible for a group of kids worked, no matter whether the kids in question were absolute shits or not. So, instead, she took a deep breath, forced her eyes back open and sat up looking over to David’s side of the shared councillors cabin. Normally Gwen would wake to the sight of David preparing supplies for the day’s craft activities, or planning the hiking route, or even doing some kind of strengthening yoga routine, which took entirely too much energy and willpower for five thirty in the morning, in Gwen’s opinion.

Instead, what greeted her today was a vaguely David-shaped lump under the covers. Gwen blinked once, then twice, but the view didn’t change. In all the time Gwen has worked alongside David, she cannot recall a single instance in which she has woken up before him, and it does nothing to calm her nerves.

Shrugging it off, she hauls herself out of bed and into the shower, and by the time she emerges David is up and ready to go, smiling and chattering away as usual, and part of her relaxes. Maybe today won't be so bad.

Typically, the day gets worse.

That, in and of itself, isn’t strictly unusual for Camp Campbell, but it’s a different brand of WrongTM today, one that Gwen does not care for. That morning in the mess hall, a food fight had broken out, getting so bloodthirsty that multiple windows ended up smashed, shattering completely. Honestly? Gwen couldn’t care less; that was a problem for the Quartermaster. Their first activity of the day had been archery, which had ended in a flaming arrow planting itself firmly into their trash bin and starting a foul-smelling, impossible-to-put-out, literal dumpster fire. That’s whatever, if Gwen is honest. Lunch had passed in a blur, in which David and Gwen had had to ban knives, leaving the kids to poke aimlessly at their food with plastic sporks, but she thought maybe the little shits deserved it.

Collapsing back onto her spot on the councillors table with David, she watched them wolf down their ice cream, clearly none of them willing to risk the rare treat by acting out, then looked sideways at David, pleasantly surprised to see him looking almost as exhausted as she felt. Don’t get her wrong; it’s not that she wanted her friend to be miserable, it’s just that he had this incredibly frustrating ability to remain the happiest, most chipper person on the planet in the face of the most infuriating circumstances. Sometimes it made Gwen feel insane, like she was the only one aware of what was going on in the camp.

Some of that relief faded, however, when David rested his forehead in his hands and mumbled, “How is it only lunchtime?”, with a weariness she’d never heard from him in her life.

Frowning, she tilted her head down, trying to catch his attention. “What’s up with you?” She asks, and she doesn’t think it sounds angry until David is whipping his head up, plastering a - somewhat unnerving - smile across his face.

“Sorry, Gwen! Nothing’s wrong, today just seems to be a bit of a slower day today, is all. At least that means more time for fun activities, though!”.

She realises it’s meant to be reassuring, but honestly it’s downright freaky watching David put a personality on like a coat.

“Are you okay, David?” She presses, voice slightly softer than before.

“Of course I am, Gwen! Why wouldn’t I be? The sun is out, the birds are singing and I’m here at Camp-”

“Don’t bullshit me, David.” She says, her gut feeling from the morning coming back full force. “What is it? Was it Campbell? Are we getting more budget cuts? Or was there a complaint? Are we getting a surprise inspection, or - oh god, is our pay going down?” She asks, thoughts going a mile a minute about what could possibly have made David look so defeated a few moments ago.

“What? Gwen - no, it’s nothing like that.” David replies, a little startled. He sighs, and then he looks tired again. He’s still smiling, but it's smaller and a little awkward, and it’s so not David but somehow more David than Gwen thinks she’s ever seen him. “I’m just a little under the weather, that’s all.” He finishes, quietly, like he’s scared the campers might hear. Which - fair, Gwen can only imagine what those little assholes would do if they sensed weakness.

“Under the weather how?” She asks, sceptical.

He frowns, but seems to weigh his options and decide being honest is a better choice than keeping quiet, because he answers all the same. “A headache. And maybe a minor fever, some dizziness. I’m mostly just tired, so it’s nothing a little rest won’t fix. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow, don’t worry.”

Looking at him now, like, really looking, Gwen realises he’s pale and a little shaky; there’s bags under his eyes and a slight flush on the heights of his cheeks like he’s been rushing around, which he has, but she suspects it has more to do with fever than it does managing the kids. Part of her wants to reach out and press her hand to her forehead, but she gets the feeling David wouldn’t appreciate that, especially not in front of all of the children because god forbid he shows them that sometimes he isn’t having the time of his life, enjoying camp every step of the way. God forbid they see him as human, and not a punching bag only there for entertainment.

“You know, I can handle the kids for an hour or two if you want a power nap? I’ll get the coloured paper and markers out and make up some bullshit about writing a letter to their future selves or something.” She offers, and the fact that David actually considers it for a second proves to her that he’s feeling worse than he lets on. Ultimately, though, he shakes his head.

“No, it wouldn’t be fair to leave you to run camp by yourself. Besides, we’re supposed to be doing plant identification today, and I can’t deprive the kids of a valuable skill like that just because I’m a little poorly. I’ll be fine.” He says, decisively, like he’s trying to convince himself as much as Gwen.

Before she can argue the point further, the sound of the kids talking escalates to a volume that’s too much to tolerate as they get restless, dessert finished and their boredom rising. Standing, she shouts over the racket, “Everyone look at me! Shut up for a minute, would you?”. It takes a moment, but they do quieten and look in her direction, so she takes the win. “In a moment we’re going to head outside for our afternoon activity, okay, so everyone go and put your plates on the hatch for Quartermaster and then line up at the door.”

Predictably, there is no neat, single-file line like Gwen had asked, and instead a crowd of pushing and shoving by the mess hall doors. Shaking her head, Gwen lets them out, allowing David to start explaining what they’d be doing. In all honesty, Gwen tunes this part out, knowing vaguely that each group would have a plant identification book and a list of plants to find. Instead, she uses this time to study David, who’s energy seems to be waning quicker now that he’s on his feet. Max is giving David some kind of shit, and his plastered-on smile is faltering ever so slightly, the longer Max refuses to stop.

Sighing, she shoots Max a look and he backs off, for now, but he doesn’t seem very deterred. David finishes up his explanation and sends the kids off in groups of four, instructing them not to go out of his and Gwen’s sight. A few moments pass in silence as they observe the kids, enjoying the peace for the first time that day. Around them, the kids seem to be genuinely enjoying themselves - the task gives them just enough freedom that they’re satisfied, goofing off as they look at plants half-heartedly and enjoy the sun, with the added bonus of letting Gwen and David take a backseat for a little while.

The kids have quite a long time to find all of the plants on the list; they know their campers well enough to know that the work-to-messing-around ratio will not be equal, so Gwen takes a seat on one of the nearby picnic benches. She expects David to follow her lead and sit down too, and she hopes he does because he wasn’t looking too hot during his instructions earlier, but he remains standing. The feeling in her gut grows stronger, but she forces it down. She’s getting worked up over nothing, David said it himself, he’s just a little under the weather. David is a grown man; if he feels like he needs to sit down, he’ll sit down.

Another fifteen minutes pass and the feeling only grows. She glances at her co-councillor again, but she can’t see his face from the angle of the bench. Before she can think better of it she’s standing and walking over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder with the intention of turning him towards her. However, the moment her hand touches his shoulder, her stomach drops. He’s so warm she can feel it through his shirt and, although they are standing in the warmth of the sun, that’s all they’re doing, there’s no reason he should be that warm. It’s a suffocating, dry kind of warmth too, one that makes her throat tighten and she steps round him, blocking the camper’s view if they were to look over.

His eyes are cloudy and slightly unfocused, and he’s paler than he has been all day, swaying just slightly where he stands. His breathing is slightly wonky, like he can’t quite figure out a comfortable pattern and it takes him a while to track his gaze over to meet hers, and he shakes his head minutely, almost imperceptibly. Abruptly, she makes a decision.

Whirling around to face the section of clearing that the campers are exploring, she raises her voice loud enough for all of them to hear. “Okay, David and I need to head inside to take care of some paperwork, so Quartermaster is going to take over for a little while. Do not give him any shit or I swear to god there will be hell to pay, understood?” She asks, waiting for nods before she’s satisfied. She turns back to face David, unsure if moving is a good idea right now given how pale he is. “Can you make it to our cabin?” She asks, quietly.

Something in David seems to click, and he tries to gather himself, swallowing hard. “Sorry, Gwen, I’m fine. There’s no need to worry, or- or bother the Quartermaster, I’m-”

“David I swear do not even try it. You look like you’re about the pass out.” She hisses, reaching her limit. “Now can you make it to our cabin or not?”

Chastised, David looks down, but nods anyway. “Yeah, I can.”

“Okay,” Gwen takes a deep breath, nodding as well. “I need you to stay here with the kids while I go and grab Quartermaster, can you do that?”

David nods again, but doesn’t protest when she leads him to the bench and sits him down. “Do not move.” She says sternly, then turns on her heel and rushes back to the mess hall, grabbing Quartermaster and dragging him out to the clearing, explaining on the way. He agrees in the weird, creepy way of his, and she has no doubt the campers will end up part of some crazy wilderness ritual, but she trusts him with the campers safety and that's enough for now.

As they arrive at the activity spot, it’s just in time to see Max sauntering over to David, a glint in his eye that she doesn’t like. “Max!” She calls, intercepting him only a few feet away from the bench. “What do you need?”

Max regards her curiously, and she feels vaguely like prey. “What I need is to talk to David.” He says, and Gwen knows deep down that he has realised what’s going on.

She has two options now: lie and bullshit her way out of this, or tell the truth and hope Max doesn’t abuse the knowledge.

Placing her hands on both of Max’s shoulders, she drops down to one knee, putting her at his level. “Look, Max, you and I both know why you can’t do that.” Max’s face lights up at the confirmation, and he opens his mouth to say something, but Gwen continues on, barrelling over him. “Max, listen to me, I need to get David inside, okay, I think this could be serious. I need to get him inside, and check his fever and maybe even take him to a hospital,” She says, looking into his eyes to try and drive her point home. She really isn’t sure if it will warrant a hospital trip, or even come close, but she thinks maybe that’s what Max needs to hear to back off a bit. “If I check him over, and he’s okay, I promise you that tomorrow you can have your fun with him, but you have to let me make sure he’s good first, okay?”

Max is silent for a second, eyes darting from Gwen to where David is slumped over, face in his hands now that Quartermaster is here and someone is keeping an eye on the campers. There is a solid ten seconds where Gwen thinks she’s made the wrong choice, that Max is going to grin and jump on the opportunity to trash the camp and make today even worse for David, but then he deflates and nods. “Fine. I’ll keep these assholes in check. But as soon as he’s feeling better there will be no mercy. So watch out.” He says, but Gwen has known Max long enough to know he’s concerned. Another beat of silence passes and then Max follows up quietly, “Do you…need help getting him inside?”.

A spark of surprise hits Gwen’s chest, alongside a feeling she thinks might be pride. She ruffles Max’s hair and he scowls, swatting at her hands before shoving his own hands back into his sweater pockets.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got him handled. You focus on finding those plants, okay?” She smiles at him, and Max pulls a face in return.

“Ew, gross. I wasn’t worried.” He insists, and Gwen doesn’t argue it, just lets him walk back to his group.

Gwen forces herself to take some more deep breaths before she turns around, trying not to let her heart beat too fast when she finds David, arms braced on his knees and his head in his hands, eyes closed and breathing shakily.

“David?” She asks softly, touching his shoulder.

He lifts his head, blinking blearily at her, squinting in the sunlight. He doesn’t say anything.

“You ready to get inside?”

He nods shakily, standing up and immediately stumbling, but Gwen catches him quickly enough. Luckily, Quartermaster seems to have distracted the kids with some kind of dramatic retelling of a battle he had with some squirrels, and Gwen can’t quite tell if it’s made up or not, but it doesn’t matter because it means they don’t have an audience right now. (Except Max, and Gwen can feel his worried eyes tracking them, but she’ll have to deal with that later, because right now David needs to be inside and lying down, out of the heat of the sun and away from the stress of the children.)

She loops his arm around her shoulders, hooking her own around his waist and they begin to slowly walk - or stumble, in David’s case - back to the councillor’s cabin. What should have been a two minute journey becomes a five minute one, and the whole way Gwen can only think about how it got so bad so quickly. David is silent for the entirety of it, eyes closed and trusting Gwen to keep them on track. They’re barely ten feet from the door to the cabin when David finally speaks.

“Gwen, I think I’m going to pass out.” He chokes out, and she turns to find his face so pale he’s practically grey.

“Shit!” She hisses, and she effectively drags him the rest of the way shoving the doors open, desperate to get him to his bed but he’s dropping like a stone the moment they’re inside, and it’s all she can do to stop his head from slamming down. His knees connect roughly with the wooden floors and she winces, knowing it’ll probably bruise, but there’s bigger things to worry about at that moment.

Carefully, she lowers him to the ground and props his feet up on a nearby trunk, racking her brain desperately trying to recall her first aid training. She settles on checking his airways and, once satisfied, moves to the bathroom to grab their thermometer. It’s clear enough that he has a fever, but she needs to know what she’s dealing with and now is as good a time as any to check.

The thermometer is an old thing, scuffed and peeling but it works and so she gently pushes it into his ear, waiting for it to beep. 103.1ºF. She sucks in a breath through her teeth. Not good.

Wasting no time, she gathers a washcloth and wets it with cold water, filling a glass at the same time. There’s a standing fan in the corner of their cabin which she manoeuvres to point at David and turns onto the lowest setting, trying not to shock his body too much, then places the washcloth on his forehead.

Slowly, David stirs, eyes blinking open, cloudy and confused but he’s awake and a huge weight lifts off of her shoulders.

“David?”

“...Gwen? What- why am I on the floor?”

A flash of irritation hits her. “Because you’re an asshole who can’t wait two seconds to lay down in his bed and insists instead on passing out on the floor next to it.” She scowls, but the irritation is ebbing just quickly as it peaked, being replaced by concern.

“I passed out?” He asked, voice still slightly muddy from sleep.

“Yeah,” She sighs. “You did. And your fever is really high, as well. You scared me.” She admits, quietly.

David’s face crumples with guilt, and he tries to sit up but Gwen firmly pushes him back down. “Gwen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“I know you didn’t David,” Gwen placates. “It’s not your fault, it's just a sucky situation. You should have said something sooner, though, David. You could have taken a break, or even taken the rest of the day off and we could’ve avoided all of this. I’d rather have to handle those kids by myself any day of the week than for you to get hurt.”

David nods, wincing. “I know. You’re right, I should have said something I just - I just have some things to work on.” He replies, quiet and raw. “But that shouldn’t affect you, I’m sorry.”

They look at each other for a moment longer before Gwen smiles, softly. “Hey, what are CBFLs for?” She asks, nudging his shoulder, and David smiles back, touched. “And besides,” she continues. “You deal with enough of my shit, only fair I deal with some of yours. Now, think you can handle getting up and into bed? You need proper rest and I’m not letting you do it on the floor.”

“Yeah, I’m actually feeling a bit better now.” David says.

Gwen snorts, holding out a hand to help him up. “Tell me that again when you’re upright.”

As expected, David immediately pales again the moment he’s stood, but he smiles shakily and manages to get to his bed fine, so Gwen doesn’t worry too much. Once he’s sitting with his back against his pillows, she hands him the glass of water and grabs some pills from her own bedside table. Dutifully, he downs them, and then lays down, damp cloth back on his forehead. It’s mid-afternoon and still light out, but Gwen just draws the curtains and turns off the light, leaving the bathroom light on with the door cracked to allow her to see without aggravating David’s head too much.

Gwen pulls her armchair over to be near David’s bed, turning on Bob Ross with the volume almost muted, just loud enough for the man’s soothing voice to reach them. Beside her, David’s eyes are closed and his eyebrows pinched, but there’s a small smile on his face and he looks comfortable enough. For the first time all day, the feeling in her gut subsides, appeased, and she lets herself relax as well.

Two hours later, Gwen jolts awake, eyes flying around the room before settling on David, still fast asleep where she’d left him. Bob Ross is still playing idly, and she grabs the remote to turn it off. As quietly as she can, Gwen finds the thermometer and takes David’s temperature again, breathing out slowly when it reads 100.5ºF. Still a fever, but lower. Despite herself, she runs her hand through David’s bedhead of red hair, shaking her head and then sitting back down.

She has just settled back in her chair when there’s a quiet knock at the door. Opening it reveals Max, shuffling awkwardly. “He’s okay.” Gwen smiles softly, deciding to cut the kid some slack, knowing Max isn’t going to outright ask about David.

“Pshh, I don’t care. I just came to tell you Quartermaster is doing a shit job. He taught us how to fight a deer and now he’s making us wash the outside of our cabins.” He complains, but Gwen can see a bit of relief on his face.

“Hm, not a bad idea. Maybe I need to get him to plan a couple of our activities next week. The cabin thing, not the deer thing.” She clarifies, seeing Max’s face. “Maybe tomorrow you can complain to David yourself.”

Max nods, satisfied with the knowledge that David isn’t too ill, and Gwen knew that was what he’d been waiting to hear. “Yeah, I will. Uh, but I should get back before Quartermaster realises I’m gone. He’s way less of a pushover than you and David.”

Gwen rolls her eyes, but waves him off. “See you tomorrow, Max.”

“Night, Gwen.”

She closes the door, still smiling softly.

Sometimes, the kids were okay.

#camp camp #camp camp fanfic #camp camp david #camp camp gwen #cc david #cc gwen #sickfic

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rockingrobin69 · 3 years ago

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Robin Recs Rockstars: artists

Fanartists. Can’t live without them, really honestly what would even be the point, am I right? You make our days brighter, you give our dreams colour, you... catch my drift; fanartists deserve the world, but for now; here’s a small, awkward, really loving flail, celebrating several artist from this unproportionally talented fandom! (the first of... loads, probably!) Let’s get right into it.

@crazybutgood‘s origami is: heartfelt, brilliant, honestly unbelievable?? Like literally how—from adorable animals, to positivity cups, to the most beautiful fic recs, there’s nothing she can’t fold. Literally. Nothing. Also, have I mentioned, her heart is just the biggest. CBG so often uses her skill to uplift other creators, collaborate, and just shine her light on this world. For instance, check out the advent calendar, an example not only of her kindness, but also her immense talent!

Support CBG: ~ko-fi~

@julcheninred’s art is absolutely breathtaking—the details, oh my god, just. There’s such depth to them, making every piece one you can stare at for a whole flipping day (trust me, tried and tested). The shapes, the colours, the creativity in every single artwork. How can there be so much story packed into them?! Unbelievable. And my god are they just so STUNNINGLY GORGEOUS!!!

Support Julchen: ~ko-fi~

@babooshkart’s art gives the softest, most exquisitely lush vibes; it’s so full of love, seeing it literally soothes the soul (I’m telling you from experience!) there’s comforting when you need it, there’s warmth and there’s heart, there’s joy, and just – just things to take your breath away. And just when you thought ‘such bliss, what more could we possibly ask for?’ - how about a straight up 25 pieces in a row? I know. What a dream. Jump into the fluffiest fluff in this twenty five days advent art collection.

Spit-your-juice hilarious comics? Yep, got you: gah, each comic strip @filthylittlepureblood posts has me cackling like a mad duckling. What? I have no idea, it’s just – listen, honestly. Harry’s glasses, Draco’s expressions, the details in the background, it all amounts to this: the goofiest, most hilarious, loveable stuff you can imagine. Can’t imagine it yet? Here – you’ll thank me later.

@emmessee96reborn’s style is instantly recognisable – the light that shines through, the lines, the. I actually said ‘lines’, yes, you're right, I just don’t have the words!! It’s impossible for me to say what it is about their work that leaves me so breathless. Just that it does? It’s detailed and it’s funny and it’s absolutely, mind-melting-ly beautiful. Just like in this piece, for example. You see why I struggle, right? What words can convey this?!

Support Emmesse: ~Commissions~

It’s a bit hard for me to separate @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm, the artist, from joy the phenomenon. His heart, his humanness, all shine as clearly in his art as in everything else he does—deep, intricate, and so, so compelling. Every tiny detail is profoundly, decidedly loved; you can feel it down to the brush stroke of every star or twinkling light. Whether it’s a sad no oat milk day, or a moment of sunshine and happiness distilled into paint, you’re sure to feel it. Or without rambling: Joy=magic, okay? If you still don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this bit out of Draco’s scrapbook.

Support Joy: ~Commissions~

@pato-roldnart‘s art is... wow, I don’t even know where to start: the brilliant paintwork (is that a word?), the fantastic storytelling, the brilliance in every single piece. Can we spare a moment to shout MERMAID DRACO in unison, loud as possible? Because. My GOD. Gorgeous, compelling, full of light: feast yer eyes on this for a moment and take a deep breath with me. There’s so much more to discover. Here's one more example,��although I know full well you’re already convinced!

Not only is @3lvendork an immensely talented writer; not only is she a terrific artist; but she combines the two together? WHAT! And if you thought we ever stood a chance, I dare you to look at this 80’s drarry fanart and tell me you didn’t come back breathless. Her pieces are insightful, captivating, and just absolutely spectacular. Enjoy her huge mind on this microfic but in: artform

The way @slytherco draws is realistic and dreamy all at once (emphasis on the dreamy—there’s not a single character that didn’t make me stare at the screen longingly). The vibes, and the details, and the sheer hnghgnt - what else can I say, really? After drooling all over my keyboard? No, there’s simply nothing else: perfection.

Support Slytherco: ~Commissions~

@caroll-in’s comics are at least ten levels above what I can describe in words: they manage to create such a complete, brilliant story in just a few panels (and every single time). They’re heartfelt, hilarious, impossibly endearing and just. So. Flipping. Gorgeous. Catch me staring at the wallpapers till I’m breathless; and please, how come each face is so endlessly expressive???

Here’s a comic strip that flew straight to my heart: Fly Me to the Moon

Support Karol: ~Commissions~

Do I have an embarrassing, explicitly unique squeal for when I see @t4tdrarry‘s art? You better believe it. Can you blame me? The light, the textures, and the expressions in every single drawing (can we talk about the blush for a second? Or just, let’s sigh together? I mean. The blush). It can be dark, it can be fluffy, it can be sexy as all heck, but it’s always, always, stellar work. Case in point: (please the blush I literally can’t) – look, they’re snogging!

Support Kryptidfox: ~ko-fi~

#Robin recs #all the love to the wonderful artists #I wish I had better words to use when it comes to how MAGNIFICENT you are #in the meantime here's this!

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lize-mary · 2 years ago

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What I'm going to do now is a little rant, which I never imagined myself doing, but the pain I'm feeling is so great that it needs to be out.

I've been in the Fate fandom since the first season premiered, but very quiet, not interacting much out of shyness and because I don't think I'm good at anything, not even writing, which I try, while all of you are very talented. Being a fan of the Winx cartoon since I was little, I had as my favorites Griffin, Musa and Flora, and having my attention called right in the first teaser per Farah, going to look on for the character on the internet, most of what I found were lies, but she seemed to me to be a mix between Griffin and Faragonda, drawing my attention even more, as teenagers didn't, I don't deny that I watched the series for her, enchanting me more than I thought possible, not only for the character but also for what it seemed to be happening between her and Silva, turning her into my all-time favorite character. When Dowling was attacked by Rosalind, her return seemed certain, they would not kill the important character that she was, the mentor and who at many times had seemed to be Bloom's biological mother, and even with the darker tone that was warned, she was one of the most powerful fairies, if not the most powerful, as Rosalind had spent 16 years imprisoned while she was free to develop her magic, and it was she who warned the others how dangerous Rosalind was, to turn her back like that without a good plan.

But that's not what happened and since the Friday of the premiere, I literally lost my ground, having my heart in pieces and cried for two hours, I still cry, because it seems like he comes back every moment of the day, it's such a pain big as if she were a real person, even though I know she's a character, and having seen others who were my favorites in other series die, but none destroyed the deepest inside me, that hurts my soul, and I didn't even had the courage to see the scene, knowing only from videos I find, not with it all complete. Maybe I feel that way because the moment that Farah arrived was so sad in my life, when I didn't have the will to live anymore, and she was so solar, amazing, powerful, motherly to the little girls, that in a way she became mine strength and joy to face the chaos, and yes I knew how wrong it was to get attached to a character like that, but I couldn't help it, and I didn't even realize it was on that level until I know about of scene.

The pain became greater when thinking about how she had so much to explore as a character, we don't know her story, we don't know anything about her, her death was in total lack of meaning for what was presented of her, for the couple that they put clues to about it in the official book, and yes I understand that this happened because of Emily in House of the Dragons, but without wanting to give too much spoiler, they could have waited a bit, delayed her return, not killed off one of the most beloved characters in the public, even being a series of teenagers, in all a prominent adult, being family or mentor, as she was to Bloom, needing both her guidance and Muse, whom she would help to make sense of her powers and what she could do catch up. For those reasons and my pain, which destroys me every day, I refuse to believe that this was the ultimate canon ending for Farah Dowling, she really didn't deserve it.

It took me so long to write about this, because with every line I tried, the tears came back, Farah Dowling created a void in my life that was impossible to overcome, and her ending made me lose absolutely everything

Don't mind me, I'm just a person suffering a lot because of Farah, and another one in love with this character, and for everything the fandom created about her, better than the series itself had offered, and it took me so long for that

#farah dowling #I need Farah alive #the Winx need Farah alive to guide them #in mourning for a character

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ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 5 years ago

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You've probably been asked this question before, but...how do you deal with self-doubt/impostor syndrome as a creator? I'm no artist, but I channel my creative energy into being a writer, and I have a ton of ideas that I want to explore in my writing, but I fear that if I don't utilize those ideas to their absolute fullest, I'd be letting down hundreds of people who like to read my work. Do you have any advice? I'd love to hear it. P.S. I love your WD!Steven comic.

OH! Ha, yes, imposter syndrome. Let’s... let’s talk about that.

For those that don’t know, imposter syndrome is the phenomenon many creative people go through where they doubt their own abilities. Especially if a creator has gotten a lot of attention for their work, they begin to succumb to the pressure of being “good enough” to have “deserved” their audience.

To put it simply, you feel like you’re an imposter that has somehow fooled people into believing they’re in for a ‘good’ story, and you will inevitably disappoint everyone when they figure out you’re not as ‘awesome’ or as ‘talented’ as they’ve been led to believe.

It is self-doubt in its purest form, it is the fear of doing well and the fear of doing poorly all rolled into one bitter, stress-inducing onigiri.

Let’s discuss self-doubt. I’m going to describe 3 things specifically to keep in mind for this.

1) The Horizon Goalpost

You may have already read this in my other post about unrealistic goals.

Basically this boils down to: Don’t set unrealistic goals.

Utilizing Your Ideas To The Fullest is a wholly unrealistic goal to have, to be honest. No single idea can ever be ‘fully’ utilized because the concept will be different for everyone. Everyone will have a different idea of what the perfect, plot will look like. People literally argue about how shows ‘should’ have ended all day and all night.

Saying ‘I need to write this story perfectly otherwise it’s garbage!’ is the same as looking at the sun on the horizon and treating it like a finish line.

We know the sun isn’t AT the horizon, and it is impossible to arrive at the horizon in the first place because it only exists as the limit of our vision... your story is like that. You do have limits on how much potential you can see. But that doesn’t mean your goal should be to catch up to it. Take it one step at a time. Many people don’t even START their story, let alone finish it. Set achievable goals.

2) The Man Behind The Curtain

The second fallacy of self-doubt is the idea that anyone is at all competent.

It’s false. No one knows what the fuck they’re doing - you included. That’s just how the world is.

Look, I’ll give you an example. Maybe when you were little you would go to your local grocery store and think ‘wow, everything is organized and works so well! The cashiers do their thing, the self-check-out is working... everything is running like a well-oiled machine!’

Then you grow up, work in retail and realize that everything except the storefront is held together with chewing gum and cello-tape. No one is ever 100% adequate, at least one person is having a mental breakdown every day, and everything is five minutes away from collapsing like a house of cards - all the while customers are none the wiser.

This holds true for practically EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

Sure, we may our good days where we function relatively well. But this is not a held constant and on average, most of us are struggling to maintain the illusion of Everything Is Fine while simultaneously worrying that we’re the only ones that do this.

On average, we are all incompetent. The people that succeeded are not always better - sometimes they were just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. For many of them, that moment happened when they were born to wealthy parents. For some, it was just about utilizing their 6 degrees of separation right.

The truth is, there are THOUSANDS of people who COULD have been Beyonce, or JK Rowling, or whoever. The popular are not inherently more talented. They just happened to have the spotlight on them.

3) Schrodinger’s Fanbase

The third thing to keep in mind when you write, or draw, or compose, or CREATE - is that your audience is not a set auditorium of people.

And statistically, the beginning of your story is always going to be the point at which you have the largest number of potential fans.

When you START your story, you only have to worry about satisfying people about the premise. You get them hooked and they’re more or less appeased - because the rest of the story is in their expectations. It’s in their head, and they will make up whatever they need to keep them happy. At that point, your story is still 90% their story (or whatever they think your story will be).

The further you go into your story, the more you will narrow down your fanbase. People who expected it to take a different turn in chapter 2 will drop off. Then people who wanted something specific to happen in chapter 3 (but it didn’t) will also leave.

And you know what? THAT’S FINE. That’s the normal way stories go. You cannot appease everyone at the same time - you will always have people who will be dissatisfied with the way you decided to do things.

The important bit is - that doesn’t mean you are a worse writer. It just means that your fanbase organically shifts and expands as necessary. Your story will speak to different people at different stages. Let them enjoy it or not enjoy it. You cannot force someone to like something - but you CAN form connections to those people that do like it!

In other words - let the fanbase exist as its own separate ecosystem, and don’t depend on it. It will morph and evolve as you write, and you and your fans will find each other and drift away as necessary.

I also encourage other people - fans specifically - to allow consider this approach!

I know we all love to kvetch, and yeah, it’s good sometimes to let off steam... But I don’t think hyperfocusing on something you dislike is healthy. If a story doesn’t satisfy you, don’t waste time forming an anti-fandom for it. Don’t fuel more effort and time into something that makes you unhappy. Just... go find something that you DO enjoy! Give THAT your time and attention!

Anyway, that’s just the way I think about it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been around long enough to know that pretty much every author and artist suffers from self-doubt and it’d be silly to hold myself to unrealistic standards that no one else is able to meet?

Hope that helps!

#oyekanmiwork #storytelling #imposter syndrome #self-doubt #how to

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skaylanphear · 4 years ago

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Some thoughts on Reki becoming “support”-- Rough Character Analysis

I've been keeping my distance from the Sk8 fandom as a whole, but I saw a post on twitter about the subject of Reki being made into "support" as far as skateboarding, and the poster seemed to think this was some kind of… bad take? I don't know who the original poster was, but based on their opinion, I assume they're very young. I'm not here to bash on this opinion, per se, but I have been thinking about the whole Reki being support concept and I think it's detrimental if people take this to be some kind of downgrade or demotion, or "lesser" position. Again, this is a very immature mindset to have and of course many people who watch Sk8 are very young, but for anyone who's interested, here's a healthier take on the subject:

For one, Reki realizing he might not have what it takes to be as proficient a skateboarder as Langa is pretty good on him, especially at such an early age. But I think the reason he came to this conclusion in the first place is because he doesn't want to be as proficient as Langa or whoever else, no matter how hard he tries. Reki skates because he loves it—he says this in the very first episode before going on to lose to Shadow. Yes, he is insecure about the fact that he's not as good as some of the other skaters, but in the end, I think he will come to realize that it's not being the best or winning that makes him love skating. A lesson that I wish a lot of young people would realize early on is that you don't have to be the best at something to enjoy it or be passionate about it. Life is not a competition and the sooner you stop viewing it that way, the happier you'll be. Initially, Reki was able to bounce back from a loss and still love skating—he was down on himself when he lost to Shadow, but was back on a board enjoying himself shortly after. It's when he started internalizing all the differences between himself and Langa that he started to really hurt. But this doesn't mean that the solution to his problems is to become just as good a skater as Langa—that's an upward battle that will not only ruin their friendship, but continue to cause him the same hurt over and over and over again.

Reki realizing that maybe his talent lies in making skateboards is not a downgrade from being a "professional" athlete, as Langa has the potential to be. And I will note that, in this particular post, the person said that Reki was not as passionate about making skateboards as he was the actual skating (or something along those lines), which is absolutely wrong. Reki has been shown time and time again to be exceedingly passionate about building and designing skateboards, as well as the techniques needed to use them appropriately and do all kinds of sick tricks. But this doesn't mean he'd destined to be the same kind of athlete as Langa. Langa doesn't know the first thing about skateboards or the mechanics of how to ride them properly. He can observe and learn and try, but it's always Reki that's pointing out why he's doing certain things wrong or why the board is reacting a certain way. Reki's passion for building boards is just as valid as Langa's passion for being a great skater and that shouldn't be undermined by the immature opinion that taking up this "supporting" role is somehow inferior. Skaters couldn't be skaters without that crucial support—Langa wouldn't be able to skate at all without Reki having taken great pains to create a board that fit his needs, and then taken the time to literally coach him through learning to use it.

Notice that a lot of football coaches didn't actually play in the NFL, nor do all commentators, nor do the people designing their equipment. Yet these people are just as vital to the sport—just as necessary. Did people miss the point where Reki specifically said that the only reason he wanted to beat the best people at "S" was so that he could brag about how he did it with his own board? That he made? Or that Reki is not just Langa's teacher, he's his coach? Note that as soon as Reki and Langa started fighting, Langa not only lost his ability to have fun skating, but he also lost any sense of discipline. That scene where he's thinking about Adam and whips around a corner, only to have a whole bunch of people yell about how dangerous that was to the people standing there was not an accident, nor was it coincidental that both Cherry and Joe were visibly concerned about his behavior, no matter how good he is.

Langa needs a coach, he needs Reki's support. That’s the whole reason he gave up snowboarding. It's hinted that it was his father who taught and coached him, who loved the sport so much that Langa came to love it. When his father died, so too did his love of snowboarding, just like his love of skating has dwindled with Reki's absence. No matter how talented a person is, going it alone is next to impossible. The people there helping you, supporting you, are vital and just as important to success as the person performing said sport.

Reki's ability to embrace his position as support or as a board maker is not a downgrade. If anything, it fits his personality much better than the competitive aspect. He gets too down on himself when he does poorly, and spirals when people compare him to others. He can be passionate about enjoying skating itself, but also in the building of boards and coaching of others (do people not get how impressive it is that he BUILDS his OWN BOARDS?! That's just as impressive, if not more so, than anything Langa can do—something Langa is very much aware of even if Reki isn't). Reki is exceedingly patient, helpful, and willing. He wants others to succeed. Him embracing these aspects of himself is not settling—it's him pursuing his passion in a different way than Langa. Being the "best" isn't and shouldn't be the end goal for Reki, nor should it be for Langa in the manner he's currently pursuing it, as I think he is going to painfully find out in the coming episodes. Langa deciding to prioritize skating with the "best" (and psychotically dangerous) skater despite how many people he's hurt is reflecting on Langa. Langa is passionate and driven and clearly ends up wearing blinders when he gets that focused, thus he is susceptible to becoming just as dangerous as Adam. Reki being his support—being his coach, being the person that makes it possible for Langa to skate at all—is the lynchpin that will stop Langa from becoming Adam (that's why Tadashi has the personality of having "no opinions." Reki always has an opinion—Reki will be what gets through to Langa where Tadashi failed with Adam. Tadashi and Adam are the unhealthiest version of what Langa and Reki’s relationship represents). Langa is the support and inspiration for Reki. How many times has Reki altered Langa's board to better fit Langa's needs? And how many times has Langa been absolutely astounded and amazed at Reki's knowledge and know-how? Their skill sets are not pitted against one another as Reki's spiral would want him to believe. The idea that the only way Reki can truly succeed is if he is able to "catch up" with Langa is the exact poison that is hurting him. Langa needs to be reeled back from his more dangerous tendencies and Reki needs to come to realize that his value is not set in comparison to other people. Both of them are currently allowing these faults to govern their behavior and that's why they're fighting. They're both acting irrationally and once they come to grips with who they really are and what they really want, they'll be much better off.

Reki is just as good as Langa for pursuing his passion in skating by going another route than just "being the best," and Langa can be a great skater without having to default to behaviors that hurt the people around him. They can both be support for each other, and be talented and "shine" in their own ways within the the world of skateboarding as a whole. The idea that one has to be the best "performer" in their field or passion is absolute poison and I would be very sad if this was the route the anime chose to take for Reki.

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #renga #reki #langa #character analysis #a response to a post I saw but I don't know the source #doesn't really matter though #I still make my point lol

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5hadow-alpha · 4 years ago

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A Rambly New Year’s Message for the Thunderfam

So it’s almost a new year, and that means taking a bit of time to look back on the last twelve months and everything that has happened. Admittedly 2020 has been, to put it bluntly, awful. But there is one thing that has made it bearable.

You guys. The Thunderfam.

I’ve been on Tumblr for about five months now, and like every newbie I’ve seen on here, have been welcomed with open arms into an incredible family of people I am so, so proud to be a part of. It’s almost contradictory to feel so close to a group of people I have never even met.

I’ve always been wary of social media, and the few apps I do have are used for messaging friends - I don’t post or react to anything. Yet somehow you guys have given me the confidence to put up drawings and even a story, and like and reblog and comment and still feel safe. Occasionally it’s still hard to pluck up the courage to interact, and sometimes I can’t comment because I’m so amazed by what I’ve seen someone create that I can’t find any words that would justify it, so a like or a reblog has to do. I’ve gone from laughing until my stomach hurts, to literally sitting on the edge of my seat, to crying my eyes out a couple of minutes later, all because of the incredible talent I see on my feed every day.

I’ve also lurked in the shadows of a few fandoms over the years, and have watched them slowly die once the shows have ended. It’s heart-breaking to see, but even though TAG is over (for now! We can always hope) we’re still thriving. My biggest regret is not discovering Tumblr five years ago because I would have loved to watch this fandom grow and blossom into what it is today.

I wish there was some way to let everyone who worked on the show, or even any part of the Thunderbirds franchise, to see what an amazing community of people we’ve built here. Because then they would be able to see what an incredible thing they’ve done by bringing us all together. You lot are a fantastic group of people who just personify everything that International Rescue and the Thunderbirds stand for. You’re there to catch people when they’re falling and put them back on their feet, and there’s so much kindness and love here that is almost impossible to find out there in the big wide world.

To quote a certain dark-haired pilot we all know and love, “when you send out an SOS, you deserve to know there’s someone out there. Listening.”

That is completely and totally you guys.

I’ve seen the SOS posts on my feed and I’ve felt awful because I haven’t been able to do much for you aside from a fairly feeble attempt at support in the form of a few words. I don’t have any screenshots and there aren’t enough hours in the day to draw or write something for you even though each and every one of you completely deserve it.

I’ve been there, I’ve struggled. This year has hit us all hard, and we’ve all dealt with our challenges. I’ve been struggling through a sudden loss in November that really knocked me off my feet after everything else that has gone wrong this year. I’m slowly getting back up now, but you guys need to know that is was the people on here that gave me a lifeline when I needed it most, and you didn’t even have to try.

And for the people out there still struggling, believe me when I say it won’t last forever. I can’t promise 2021 will be magically perfect, but we’re slowly but surely getting there. It might take while, but things will get easier. And if you ever want to talk, I’m only a message away. One of my favourite quotes has always been ‘things will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end.’ So keep going, you’ll make it to where you want to be!

Do you guys realise how amazing you all are? I was catching up on all of your posts the other day and suddenly realised I had this little smile on my face just from seeing all of your incredible drawings and stories and videos and photo edits and screenshots (there were so many and they are so good that the app crashed XD). And I have a hard time believing that I am the only one who realises that scrolling through those posts leaves you in a much better place than it did before. There is always something there to brighten your day.

It’s mindboggling to think that so many of you are at the opposite end of the country, in completely different continents, or even on the other side of the planet. But it makes absolutely no difference where we are in the world, because you all contribute so much to this community and give so much to people who need it.

I feel like for all of the hours of work and effort that you put into what you do whilst still managing to live real life, all the appreciation in the world wouldn’t be enough to express how fabulous you all are. So this is my attempt at stringing a few words together to make up for the fact that I can’t always do justice to the amazing things I’ve seen and the breath-taking people on this site. The imagination, kindness, and talent here is endless!

I know I’m not a big account, and I don’t know how many people will see this post. But I hope it gets a lot of reblogs, because every single member of this fandom should read it and realise how much you mean to me and all the others here.

I’m so grateful to have found you, and when I look back on 2020 I won’t remember it as the ‘Year the Pandemic Happened’, but as the ‘Year of the Thunderfam’.

So thank you Thunderfam, from the bottom of my heart, for being the highlight of my year and a ray of sunshine during some really tricky and horrible times. Here’s hoping 2021 will take us onwards and upwards!

So many tags, and I know I don’t have everyone! @psychoseal @seathesilverlinings @misssquidtracy @gentlebluelizard @dragonoffantasyandreality @olliepig @weirdburketeer @tsarisfanfiction @rachfielden-xo @angelofbenignmalevolence @lenna-z @gumnut-logic @gordonthegreatesttracy @drileyf @ak47stylegirl @thunderskybird @scarlett3drag0n @photowizard17 @weathergirl8 @inertplanetary @1bluesilvertracy @thunderbird-one-ai @soniabigcheese @neuroticphysiologist @singmetothesun @hironojp @louthestarspeaker @eirabach @mrseviltedi @i-am-chidorixblossom @the-lady-razorsharp @bonsaiiiiiii @fictivekaleidoscope @thundergeek59 @janetm74 @myladykayo @willow-salix @incorrect-thunderbirds-quotes @fearlesstracy @hedwigstalons @tinglingsquidsense @thunderbirds-are-fab @lenle-g @vegetacide @godsliltippy @misstb2 @gordoncoopertracy @sonatanotwo @flyboytracy @tag-rewatch

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fandom #thunderfam #new year #goodbye 2020 #gratitude for some amazing people #love you guys

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the-ship-sails-itself · 3 years ago

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Shake Loose the Dust

Submission for the #ficwip 5k: 2021 challenge.

Fandom: Charmed (TV 2018) Rating: G Relationships: Harry Greenwood/Macy Vaughn Characters: Macy Vaughn, Harry Greenwood

Link to AO3: Shake Loose the Dust

---

Harry Greenwood set his wrench to the side and looked up to watch the three Vera-Vaughn sisters as they flipped and soared dozens of feet above the ground. As per the usual, the tallest and eldest of the sisters, Macy Vaughn, held his attention the longest. His breath caught as his beloved’s lithe form swung with even more grace than her younger sisters from bar to bar. Of her sisters, she unquestionably possessed the most talent as a flying trapeze acrobat. Why compared to her sisters she really did seem to fly, staying aloft for seemingly impossible long seconds, almost as if it were actual magic keeping her airborne.

Even from the ground, Harry could hear Maggie Vera’s choking gasp as she fumbled her catch, not having put enough momentum into her swing towards her sister to meet and catch Macy’s hands. A fellow maintenance worker in the “audience” screamed as Macy's fingers only grazed Maggie’s and Macy began to plunge downward. Harry’s stomach clenched and he found himself lunging forward as if somehow by sheer will he could manage to make himself materialize midair to catch Macy before she fell to her death.

“Oh my god, Macy…” Mel, the middle sister finally intoned from her where she waited atop one of the platforms, still holding her trapeze. How the hell had the woman not noticed what was unfolding until just now?! Harry caught an aborted movement from the platform where Mel stood as she apparently considered swinging into action, as it were, and then simply…didn’t.

“FUCK,” Macy swore as crashed into the safety net below. The invisible bands that had wound and locked around Harry’s chest suddenly slackened. He let out a shuddering breath at the sight of Macy bouncing back upward and down repeatedly as she bled off more and more of her momentum.

Harry glared at the two women, one who was scrambling back up to her platform and the other only now just climbing down from the one she’d never once left even as she’d watched her sister in peril. Damn her sisters, Harry seethed silently as he made his way to the edge of the net. The lack of professionalism, of dedication to practicing much less performing their craft was bloody deplorable. Maggie at the very least had talent when she put her mind to it. But the weak link that was Melanie, well…

Harry’s chest tightened again, those two hapless girls would be the death of his Macy one of these damn days. Had he the power to rewrite history he would have driven them right past the damn roadside circus, regardless of its tattered banner displaying the same, if somewhat faded triquetra symbol that was drawn on the back of the only photograph Macy owned of her mother. Macy would never have discovered that her recently deceased mother had worked as a fortune teller for the Hilltowne Traveling Circus (est. 1898) or that she had two younger half-sisters that still worked there as flying trapeze artists. And he damn well would never have given her that idiotic speech about sisterhood and destiny. At this rate the only destiny this ‘sisterhood’ would deal Macy was a painful death.

Well, as magic was not in fact real (best evidenced by the consummate charlatan that had borne Macy and then prompt abandoned her to literally run away with a circus) the best Harry could do was-

“Harry?”

Harry looked up at Macy as she swung her long legs over the edge of the net. He held out his arms and caught her when she jumped but didn’t release her even as her feet found purchase on the dusty, tamped earth that served as the floor of the big tent. His heart hadn’t yet completely slowed its harsh battering against his ribs and he wondered if Macy could feel it as he crushed them together in a fierce embrace.

“You were right,” he murmured against her shoulder.

Harry felt the puff of Macy’s answering snort against his neck. He leaned backwards just enough to meet her eyes. Her lips were quirked in a smirk but the light in her eyes made his heart warm.

“Alright, Harry, I think I’ve had enough of this sister bonding. How about let’s you and I get out of here and do some Harry-and-Macy bonding?”

Harry felt his mouth stretch into a wide smile.

“I would not be adverse to that. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, remember when we were reading that book we picked up in Chicago?”

Ah, Harry nodded, the Helen Bennett book. It had been a present from Macy and he had read it to her during their drive out through the Midwest.

Macy continued, “I was thinking that maybe we could head towards San Francisco. There’s a World’s Fair going on there next month.”

“The Women’s World Fair?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. So what do you say, Professor Greenwood? Wanna go?”

Harry ducked his head at her affectionate use of the title he hadn’t used in years. Not since he and Macy had left their university positions in search of their respective pasts. She needn’t have bothered with trying to charm him, he would follow her to the ends of the Earth if she asked.

“Yes, let’s,” he said with a peck to her lips. “Anything and anywhere you want to go, my love.”

And with that they made their way out of the tent, ignoring the half-hearted protests of the women behind them. They shook the dirt of the circus from their feet and together, in the warm sunlight made their way towards the future.

#hacy #hacy fic #charmed cw #charmed reboot #charmed #ficwip5k

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gleekto · 5 years ago

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Summary: College AU/Famous!Blaine and Fanboy!Kurt - Kurt POV

Kurt really doesn’t have time to figure out the dating world between being a freshman at prestigious theatre school, LAADA, and his active but secret blogging life in the Sing!Fandom. So what if Sing! ended last year? There are still fics to read and actors to follow. Especially the uber talented heartthrob lead, Blaine Anderson. He can act. He can sing. He can even dance. He’s gay. He’s out. And he’s only 24. Kurt is willing to twiddle his thumbs and click refresh until Blaine Anderson’s next project.

He just didn’t expect the next project to be on his roommate Rachel’s new TV show.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Even Better Than the Real Thing (4/15)

It takes Kurt until the following afternoon for the haze to lift and for his feet to land back down on the ground after spending the evening floating. He finally logs on to his tumblr and to the entirely unsurprising 13 messages, all anonymous, all asking him if he heard about whether his source met Blaine. He deletes all of them and clicks on his direct message from Mercedes last night.

From LimaBlaineFan to MercedesSing! : Guilty as charged. You found me out.

MercedesSing!: So let me get this straight - Your roommate and close friend is literally working with Blaine Anderson?!

LimaBlaineFan: He’s her love interest. They kiss.

MercedesSing!: Please don’t tell me you’re jealous because you know that’s all acting and you have suddenly gone from number one fanboy to real life acquaintance overnight and there are a good few hundred followers who would be intensely jealous of you if they knew.

LimaBlaineFan: They don’t. And they won’t. But no, I’m not jealous. Blaine is indeed gay, and you know, he doesn’t have a boyfriend right now. Was too difficult to meet someone while on a show like Sing!

MercedesSing!: He did not tell you that.

LimaBlaineFan: He did. And we commiserated about growing up in Ohio - two gay kids. We’re like peas and pod, Blaine Anderson and I.

MercedesSing!: Shut up. You had a heart to heart with Blaine Anderson.

LImaBlaineFan: Now let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But I can confirm that he is even more beautiful in real life.

MercedesSing!: This is nuts. I’m happy for you. Hell, I’m happy for me. Do you think he can hook me up with Jo Johnson for some music lessons? Kidding. No not really. Anyways. You met Blaine Anderson. And shit got real.

Kurt and Mercedes plot out just the right amount of info to post publicly on his blog from his “source”.

My source confirms that Blaine Anderson is a genuinely nice guy, but you’ve all heard that before. He did find out that Blaine sang in his high school Glee club, and oh, he’s single right now. Don’t get any ideas though, fandom, because Blaine knows there’s a difference between a fan and a friend. Anyways, sounds like Blaine Anderson was as cute as ever - oh and he was wearing cherry red shoes.

...

“Let’s go, Kurt. Off your laptop, put away your homework, we’re going to the cast open mic night.”

Kurt looks up over his computer skeptically. “Open mic night?”

“Oh come on. You don’t even have to perform if you don’t want to. And Blaine asked if you were coming-”

“He did? We talked for like five minutes. How does he even remember my name?” What.

“Yeah. I know it’s weird but I think you’re a good excuse not to have to be networking the whole night. For me too,” Rachel emphasizes. “Come on.”

Kurt nods his head from side to side, feigning indecision but of course he’s going. Blaine Anderson asked for him to come. Or asked if he was coming. Or whatever. He’s obviously going.

...

As he and Rachel are whisked into the Limelight - closed for a private event - by the security guard at the door, he’s sure he has accidentally fallen through a portal into the world of Sing!, with Blaine’s character, Roy Royson, up on stage as usual, serenading his on screen love interest with an unplugged version of an 80′s rock ballad. Today it’s Jack and Diane.

Only Roy Royson would be wearing a plaid flannel shirt and not a fitted red cardigan with tight dark blue jeans and a navy bowtie. And man, Blaine Anderson can rock a bowtie.

“He’s good, right?” Rachel gestures to Blaine on the stage, who sees them and gives a wink and smile. What a showman. “Talented.”

“He was on Sing!, Rachel. Not a shock that he can carry a tune,” Kurt shrugs. No way is he letting Rachel know how captivated he is. He’s seen Blaine as Roy perform on screen countless times and then on repeat, but something about seeing the real Blaine, all styled and a touch deliberately flamboyant but also very boyish singing classic 80′s rock, completely holding the live audience in his hands. He’s hard to look away from. By the time Kurt catches himself staring slightly open mouthed and manages to turn around to get a drink, Rachel already has a drink in hand and is sitting at a table with Jesse St. James and a few of the others he met the other week.

Kurt orders a ginger ale with one lime (can’t be caught drinking underage with the high profile cast), and turns towards Rachel’s table where Blaine is now conveniently sitting. Kurt would not have normally dared to sit beside him for fear of spilling his drink from shaky hands, or worse being tongue tied when being asked a mundane question, but it appears that the chair beside Blaine is the only empty one and Kurt is not sure if it’s a punishment or a reward. So it’s facing his fears or cozying up to the showrunner at a separate table. Awkward.

“Great performance,” Kurt starts as he sits down beside Blaine. “I can appreciate a strong stage presence despite the strange choice of music genre.”

Blaine looks up and his smile widens amusedly as he shifts his chair over to make more room. “Thank you,” Blaine nods and then leans in to Kurt’s ear. “Well, despite the choice of genre, I may have caught you staring.” Blaine winks. Did he just-

Kurt is mortified but Blaine just elbows him in the side and takes a sip of his beer. He was caught. But Blaine doesn’t appear to be mad, or embarrassed, or irritated - In fact, he seems happily entertained . Cocky bastard. “Well, my dad is a big Mellencamp fan, and I can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching a classic performance where the lead is in anything other than stone washed jeans and flannel.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Oh it’s a compliment.” Kurt turns to him. “I did try to do Mellencamp once in a Glee club assignment in my junior year - complete with the flannel. But somehow I couldn’t pull it off. My dad even called me out.”

Blaine laughs, eyes sparkling and staring right at him. Man, that eye contact. “Too forced?”

“Too straight,” Kurt answers and Blaine laughs again like Kurt is both funny and entertaining. “I think I got a lecture about not trying to be someone I’m not just to impress him. That he loves me just as I am blah blah blah.”

Blaine’s face turns serious. “That’s lucky.”

Kurt stares back. “I know.”

“So you were out?”

“Yeah. And maybe thanks to my dad and my Glee club, I survived Lima. But it wasn’t fun. Guess Lima’s just too narrow for all this fabulousness,” Kurt jokes, gesturing at today’s outfit - lime green tight army jeans with a purple button down and scarf. And of course a heart shaped broach.

“Lima’s loss,” Blaine says seriously, reaching out to touch Kurt’s arm. Kurt jumps and then Blaine’s hand is gone again. “Well, you’re in LA, now. The fun is only just beginning.” Kurt’s jaw drops slightly and he can feel himself staring at Blaine, again, and trying to stop being drawn to that impossible magnetism.

“Let’s go, Kurt! It’s our turn.” Luckily Rachel pulling at his arm against the magnetic force rescues him.

“What?”

“I signed us up, of course. Defying Gravity. Let’s go.” Kurt normally loves performing. Loves performing Broadway hits. Loves performing with Rachel. But performing in front of his celebrity crush - that was not on his agenda. “Come on!” She pulls him up on stage. Ah well. Good thing he’s a good actor. Game face is about to be in full force.

When they take their bows, the room full of appropriately enthusiastic applause, Kurt lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That was great, Kurt!” Blaine seems genuinely excited. “You’re a countertenor - You have an amazing voice!” Kurt beams. He has an amazing voice.

Before he can second guess himself, Kurt turns to Blaine and whispers, “Thank you. And I assume your love of Broadway is why I caught you staring.”

Blaine laughs and chinks their glasses. “Guilty.”

...

When he gets home that night, high from all the performances, from the performing, from talking to Blaine Anderson again, he closes his door and screams silently into his pillow. He grabs his phone and texts Mercedes who is of course asleep in New York City.

Kurt: Mercedes, I’m back. We talked. Again. A lot. He kind of stared at me through my whole performance with Rachel. Which he admitted. And laughed. He even likes my voice. I think we’re friends. Like actually friends.

In the morning, Kurt wakes up to Mercedes’ reply.

Mercedes: Of course he likes your voice. You’re epic. And friends? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

#even better than the real thing #gleekto writes #took a few days but here is the next part!

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bixgirl1 · 5 years ago

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You keep reblogs about finding people who came in the same time as you but you're friends with loveglows, magpie, traintracks, shiftlinguini, writcraft ellegrey and more. Telling new fandom writers to stick to making friends with new people when you got where you are by sucking up to bnfs is disgusting.

Uh. No. That, my dear, is not the case. (Also, hiiii, nonnie! I've been expecting someone like you!) I got where I am because I'm a good writer who's worked at getting even better over time. Occasionally, even damn good. I may not be to your taste, which is fine (and I may catch hell for not feigning a "oh golly gee whiz, I'm only sorta okay, shucks" attitude because merlin forbid anyone be proud of their successes), but I'm creative and have been relatively prolific and have a good narrative voice. I've worked hard, interacted with people, signed up for fest after fest, taken prompts, met (most) deadlines, reached out, been friendly, and yes, gotten lucky early on. That's how I got where I am, thank you.

Thank you, too, for the implication that my ambition is so focused that I'm out here using people like stepping stones. Honestly, I'd never even try to deny flailing like a motherfucker over certain writers when I first met them. I still do it. I'll always do it - over some of my closest friends. It's impossible not to when you're as in love with your friends' talent as I am. I make flaily comments and recs, and I read their works with fucking stars in my eyes, that's certainly true enough. But how that translates to me sucking up to climb some fandom ladder (for what fucking purpose, I don't know), well, you'll have to explain that part. Is reblogging or reccing or being publicly associated with them sucking up? Being lucky enough to beta or preread for some of them, or to have had them beta for me? Wtf is that sort of crap?

You make friends with who you make friends with. That's literally all there is to it! Sometimes you'll find chemistry with a person, or you'll share common interests or common-enough experiences that it leads you to bond. Fucked if I can explain it better, and I'm sorry if you don't understand that (though tbh I'm more than a little irritated to feel like I should defend the authenticity of my friendships at all).

I'd also like to take a second to point out that, like, none of those reblogs said you're not allowed to be friends with people who came into the fandom before or after you???? Not one. Some of us pointed out that it's easier to make friends with people who are at the same point on the fandom map between "utterly lost" and "trying to socialize", but that's all. Having said that, magpie and I actually did come into fandom around the same time. Same for Love. And it matters, whether or not it should: having someone who feels like a peer (even though you're still insanely in awe of their skills), someone to worry with and complain to and confide in. Who you won't be afraid will look down on you because they're SUCH BIG NAMES AND DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ANXIETY, or judge you for feeling anxious because YOU'RE SUCH A BIG NAME, HOW DARE THEY PRETEND TO FEEL ANXIOUS LIKE YOU DO.

Now, as far lqt and shifty and writ go (or any of the other bnfs I'm privileged enough to consider friends, or at least be on friendly terms with), our relationships happened organically. We are not as clique-y a fandom as some people think we are. In some cases, people I've admired and reached out to have responded, and we got to know each other. (In others, it hasn't gone so well lol.) And this is true in most cases: Elle, who hasn't been around as long as I have, might have reached out to me on or vice versa, or I met her in a discord chat and thought she was funny (she is), or whatever, and I decided to read her fics. Sometimes I recognize and become friends/friendly with certain commenters of mine. It just happens, you know? I've accepted that I'll never be able to anticipate that click with someone, but I do feel like people can sense when it's disingenuous. Frankly, I don't have the time to cultivate friendships with people I don't like to fulfill my life's ambition of a high kudos count for writing about two wizards falling in love and fucking; my hands are too full. (So are Harry and Draco's, incidentally.) Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful as hell for whatever success I have. But I'd never fuck with people's feelings and friendships to get it.

So. The main takeaways from this - if you missed them in my ramblings - are:

I'm a good writer and proud of it.

Be friends with whoever the fuck you want, no matter when they hit the fandom scene, but make sure they want to be your friend too.

That won't always be the case, but sometimes it will.

Try not to be resentful if it's the former.

It's insulting to suggest anyone would use someone else to gain popularity, and that anyone targeted for that wouldn't be able to see right through it, but you knew that.

You're an asshole.

Fuck off.

😁

#fun asks #fandom life #anon

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whatsthepointofthisbloganyway · 4 years ago

Text

So I have thoughts about the Supernatural Finale (Spoiler: I’m angry)

sooo i stopped watching supernatural at the start of s14 after having caught up in less than a year. the first seven-ish seasons hooked me and i thought they were amazing, and then it just...went so down hill. like the only thing that saved any of it for me was Jack’s intro, bc he was interesting and new and made for a fun dynamic and actually worked with the theme of fighting destiny and being your own person.

all that being said, i didn’t watch s15, mostly bc i kinda fell out of the fandom for a while with yknow *gestures at the entire year*. i thought, oh, i’ll catch up when everything’s out and just enjoy watching everyone sobbing about the ending before i end up sobbing about it.

seeing the reviews come in, i was confused. first cas’s death, then dean’s, then sam’s....like...

i looked up the scenes. i was really hoping if i put them in context they would make more sense.

nope.

(anger under the cut)

first of all, you’re gonna have the audacity to take cas out before the last episode. you’re gonna literally make him show real, honest, human emotion and joy for the first time, you’re going to make him confess being in love with dean, you’re going to put dean on the edge of realizing he’s in love with cas, and then you’re just gonna bad-CGI gloop him out of the scene??? and that’s it??? with some bullshit explanation that sounds stupid even when misha’s giving it 110%????? really??? you’re really gonna fuck over my favorite character like that. that’s disgusting.

second of all, you’re going to really make the most popular ship in the fandom canon for literally less than a minute???? you’re going to give misha this beautiful speech he’s giving his everything to and not give him a satisfying ending to it? it’s really just gonna end with a cliche “goodbye dean” poof???? you’re not even going to have dean try to say it back when (thank you jensen) he very obviously is starting to realize he feels the same way??? you’re not going to let him have that closure???? really??? what the fuck, guys? i don’t even ship destiel and i’m angry with how you treated it.

third, what the actual fuck was dean’s death. this man has survived satan, god himself, the literal apocalypse, being turned into a demon, being the vessel of an archangel, and a million other impossible things, and he’s killed by fucking tetanus? in a completely contrived, unconvincingly fast death? jensen’s really out here giving us a gorgeous, vulnerable death scene while standing against a pole with no obvious cause of death besides *checks notes* a nail in his back. really?

fourth, what the fuck was sam’s ending? what the actual fuck? this man spent ten years doing everything to get his brother back and keep the only family he had, he accepted that he couldn’t have a normal life necessarily, but he could have a good one, he could even have a family with eileen (apparently????), but he could do it while still fighting off the things that go bump in the night, and then suddenly dean dies and...what, everything just ignores him? one hunter dies and every supernatural being in America is like “welp, pack it in!” and leaves Sam Fucking Winchester alone? and Sam is fine with this? he marries some random woman WE’VE NEVER SEEN AND WE’RE NEVER INTRODUCED TO, has a kid and somehow knows how to parent him perfectly in the most cookie-cutter 50′s American Dream way possible, picket fence and all? he dies in a random room in a hospital bed (unattended by any kind of hospice nurse or any medical professional despite the professional medical setup), with no one but his one son (who looks nothing like him) to say goodbye?

the writers for this season annihilated any character growth that had been established in a decade. they resigned the Winchesters to exactly the fate they would have had if the show had never happened. Sam ignored everything his family had ever done for a shallow “happy” life, Dean died bloody and, for all intents and purposes, alone, and Cas just went to the Empty and ceased existing, having no effect on anyone back on Earth. i’m not clear on what happened to Jack but apparently it was out of left field and stupid as well, which i’m willing to believe.

the poor cast. imagine pouring your soul into a character for a decade just to be forced to act out a shitty, reductive script in the series finale that completely undoes all of the work you put in. how shit do they feel right now? they’re amazingly talented and it was wasted on that piss-poor script. they deserved better. they deserved so much better.

#supernatural #spn #spn s15 #supernatural season 15

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 5 years ago

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hey bro, i know you’re busy so whenever you have the timeeee, the melancholy is setting in again & i was wondering if you might bless me with some valdo cheering up aev when she thinks she’s not good enough? 💛

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Punk!Valdo x Punk!Aevryn Word Count: 1,688 Rating: G Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mycat-is-mylove @mynamesoundslikesherlock @kemmastan @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @amirahiddleston @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @daydreamer-in-training @morelikebyesexual a/n: Ah bro, I know that feel. Here is an almost 2k word hug xo

If there was one thing that Jaskier and Valdo could put aside their differences for, it was Aevryn. They’d done it as youths when she performed and they did it now as they worked to keep her from checking the hits her newly released demo were receiving. It went well for most of the day. Valdo woke up ludicrously early just to make sure he’d be there to pounce – somewhat literally – when she woke. After that lengthy distraction he pulled her into the shower with him before she could check her phone. Right on cue as they were just toweling off, Jaskier showed up at the door. He and Aevryn had a pact that if ever one of them showed up on the other’s doorstep and invoked Friend Code, the other had to drop everything and spend the day with them. Valdo made a big show of being dramatically grumpy about Jaskier arriving, such a big show that at some point Jaskier wasn’t sure how much was for Aevryn’s benefit and how much was just amusing himself, but he managed to get her out the door. Aevryn noticed her phone wasn’t on her as soon as they got in the car and Jaskier texted Valdo quickly to let him know that their first plan hadn’t worked as she went inside to find it. Valdo quickly tucked the phone in his jacket pocket, loathe to hide her property but desperate to keep her from seeing the numbers.

“It hasn’t just disappeared, Valdo, I swear I had it on the nightstand when we fell asleep last night,” she said, grasping under the bed though she knew Valdo paid their housekeepers handsomely enough that every inch stayed dust bunny free.

“We were pretty well knackered by the end of things, love, there’s a fair chance it got left behind in a restaurant or something or other,” Valdo lied lamely, frantically texting Jaskier for ideas to stall. Aevryn’s head popped up over the side of the bed, a swath of wavy hair falling into her face. She looked like a very adorable, very grumpy groundhog popping out of its hole but Valdo was just wise enough not to make that observation at that moment.

“Valdo I’m not going without my phone. What if something happened and you needed to reach me?” she asked.

“I’d call Jaskier,” he answered quickly. She cocked an eyebrow at him suspiciously.

“You’d call Jaskier?” she replied skeptically.

“If it were a real emergency, yes. I’m talking lost limbs and extensive blood loss. But I’ll endeavor to be safe in your absence,” he crooned as he tried to pull her to the door. She was almost over the threshold, Jaskier walking towards the door to escort her the rest of the way, when her phone went off in his jacket. There was no mistaking that it was her phone because the song that rang out was a punk cover of Barbie Girl, an inside joke between her, Yennefer, Win, and Y/N developed during a girl’s night. Her sea green eyes filled with hurt and suspicion as she stared Valdo down, reaching into his pocket to pull it out and finding a missed call from Win. A voicemail was left a second later and she opened it.

“Babe don’t even sweat it,” Win’s voice, filled with disdain said, “We know that it’s a solid album and the right people will catch on soon too. I know you hate taking favors from Valdo’s people but it’s only nepotism if you’re not qualified. I say call those bitches up and say Hello, This is Aevryn Swift and I’m here to kick ass and play beautiful music and I’m all out of ass. Or something like that. Idk, we’ll work out the details, call me when you can, bye!”

Valdo exhaled heavily, making eye contact with Jaskier who still stood a few steps away, both watching as Aevryn silently went to the bandcamp page to look at the download numbers. She stared at them for a moment, unblinking, and then nodded.

“Ok,” she said with eerie calm before turning to Jaskier, “This was just a ploy, right? You don’t actually need to invoke Friend Code?”

“Ah – well – Er… no,” Jaskier answered sheepishly. She nodded again and pushed past Valdo to walk into the house. The two men exchanged a last, regretful look and then Jaskier turned back to his car and Valdo re-entered the house, prepared for a raging fight.

Aevryn put the kettle on and picked up the little pile of mail on the kitchen island and Valdo walked in cautiously, waiting for… something. She glanced up, a cool but serene look on her face.

“Did you want some tea?” she asked.

“No thank you, dear heart, but I do want to talk about the likelihood of you trying to murder me in my sleep tonight,” he replied. She rolled her eyes, turning to pull a mug down from the cupboard. Not even one of her usual, fun mugs, just a standard green one that she teased Valdo for using because it was so “boring.” These were all very bad signs but also new ones and he wasn’t sure what they meant. After knowing Aevryn for half of his life he wasn’t used to this feeling, and he didn’t like it.

“I’m not going to kill you. You were trying to keep me from checking, right?” she asked, peering over her shoulder. He nodded, curls bouncing slightly as he did, and she nodded back.

“I get it. I mean, it wasn’t cool, but I probably would have done the same thing,” she said as she fixed her cup.

“It is bullshit, Aev. Win’s right, we have connections-”

“No, Valdo. Anyone can get an album released, hell I already did it. But money can’t make people like or care about something if they don’t. Even if I was willing to consider it – which I’m not – it wouldn’t make a difference. I wanted to give it a shot, I did, now I know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders as she poured an amount of sugar that Valdo would have been disgusted by before but barely registered at the moment.

“Aevryn if I didn’t know any better I’d say it sounded like you were planning to stop performing. But there’s no way that could be true because that would be utterly bizarre and impossible because music is a part of who you are and you have a rare talent that should be shared with the world. Right? Aev?”

Valdo moved a bit closer as he spoke, eyes softening with worry and Aevryn deftly slipped by him with her mug, unable to look him in the eyes as she replied.

“Don’t be dramatic, Valdo, you’re just biased. And it’s fine. Jaskier will be thrilled to have me work full time as social media manager again and it’s not like I still can’t play music,” she shrugged, settling into her favorite chair in the living room. Valdo propped his hands on his hips and fixed her with a stern but not unloving expression.

“Aevryn Deirdre Swift-Marx you are not going to give up playing music because some people on the internet didn’t pay attention to your music as quickly or as much as they should have. There is no shame in pushing back and doing what you love because you love it and fuck the rest,” he argued.

“There’s also no shame in deciding not to invest more time and effort in something just for it to be ignored,” she shot back, a flicker of anger in her eyes. Good, he thought, better anger than apathy.

“You did work hard. You wrote beautiful music, you practiced and performed, you edited and you put so much into this album. And it deserves to be recognized and appreciated,” he said, a vehemence in his voice that could only be described as “ferocious validation.”

“I did,” she replied, “I worked very hard and I think the music is good, why don’t they notice? Why don’t they care?”

Valdo caught the glossiness in her eyes before she could look away and nearly pitched her mug of tea over the chair onto the hardwood floors as he tried to pull her into a hug. He held her, awkwardly half-standing/half-crouching, not caring that his arm was falling asleep or anything but the fact that she held him back with her free arm, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I know it’s hard, love. But I have a proposition for you,” he said. She pulled back to look into his emerald eyes as he moved into a full crouch by her side, fixing her with an entreating look.

“What?” she asked.

“Today, be sad. Be angry. Be whatever you need to be. Take a break, perhaps. Process through it. But then forget it. Or let it fuel you. The only thing I ask is that you not let other people stop you from doing what you love. And even though it was hard work, I know you loved every part of it. And that deserves recognition and respect but most of all it deserves to exist. Because it makes you happy.”

She considered his words, pulling her hand inside the sleeve of her too-large sweater to wipe her face before tilting her head back and sighing.

“Ok,” she said, “I won’t quit the music industry forever. Not today, at least.”

“That’s all I ask,” Valdo said, rising to press a gentle kiss against her cheek, “Now how about I make you some fresh tea, because that’s gone cold, and you burrow under that blanket and pick something ridiculous for us to watch.”

“French Kiss is not ridiculous, it is classic and underappreciated,” you argued hotly. He smiled, pleased to see his spitfire back as he pulled the mug from your hands and thrust the quilted blanket into your lap.

“Whatever you say, sweetling,” he replied, and then set off to make her more tea, carefully selecting a mug shaped like an otter and searching for some biscuits before she could think to ask.

#joz-stankovich #bro #Punk!Valdo x Punk!Aevryn #Punk!AU #Valdo fluff #Valdo imagines

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llawlietofficial · 5 years ago

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What type of characterisation do u like for fics? I do find that fic from back in the day is mostly 1 dimensional but I was curious what ur issues w it where?

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this but I’m gonna be real my opinions on stuff like this have led to me being labeled toxic to the point where people have literally implied they want me and people who share similar opinions with me to leave the fandom, so I’ve been kind of hesitant to answer something like this bashing some recent characterization again. So if you’re one of those people I’m sorry and you should probably stop reading now.

opinions under the cut with some lawlight characterization stuff I don’t like + some stuff I do like:

Honestly? I try and read at least the first chapter or so of every new lawlight fic in the tag and recently it’s been impossible for me to enjoy a lot of it because when I read it it just doesn’t feel like L and Light to me at all? Like it feels like someone at some point wrote a big fic with strong characterization and interesting characters, except they weren’t much like L and Light and they acted in ways L and Light wouldn’t act. And a lot of fics now are based off that same characterization, which in turn inspires fics with that characterization, rinse and repeat. And that’s just not enjoyable to me when I’m looking to read lawlight fanfiction.

Obviously old lawlight fanfiction wasn’t all 100% perfect and there were a lot of doozies in that mix too but it felt like there were more really solid multichapter fics that might have been messy and toxic in ways but they made sense with the canon characters. And fics that did have a happy ending and some fluff thrown in were still written using circumstances that could be believable, even if it took a long time or a slow burn to get there.

To answer your question more specifically, here’s some common tropes that feel out of character to me (and I’m not calling out any specific author or saying fics that do any of these things are poorly written because they’re not and we have a lot of talented and dedicated people here):

Either one of them changing their principles and switching sides within the first 20k words and without a LOT of persuading. IMO “we’re two sides of the same coin and not that different despite both being hugely stubborn” is shit I love, “actually I’ve sided with you secretly the whole time/your magical dick has cured me of disagreeing with you/I’m willing to sacrifice the principles I literally died for in canon easily because I want to be with you” is shit I don’t love.

“We suddenly agree and work super well together as partners now that we’re in an AU and there’s no death note” doesn’t feel authentic to me because death note or no death note their entire outlook on the world is different. Light would think L’s methods are disgusting. L would think Light’s initial idealism is naive. Light believes mankind is inherently good and once you get rid of the bad that can shine, L…doesn’t seem to share that. That’s not to say they can never work together but the good shit is when it’s a long journey into understanding each other and where they’re coming from and slowly making compromises and falling in love.

L being a naive uwu tries his best baby who’s being taken advantage of by Light. Light being a misguided uwu baby who tries his best and is being taken advantage of the whole time by L. They’re more complex than that and they’re both bad people but they also both have good sides so any sort of simplification of the characters into one being a villain and one being a victim is uninteresting to me.

They shouldn’t work but somehow despite everything they do, because they’re alone and because despite disagreeing and being enemies by circumstance and by beliefs, they know without the other they’d never really be challenged or fulfilled. That’s neat. I like that. It’s messy. They’re drawn to each other even as they’re disgusted with each other.

It’s more interesting when they are their own conflict rather than the conflict solely coming from outside sources.

The 500000 fics where Light is a rebellious and progressive omega who actually secretly wants to be protected by L and feels grateful that they’ve found each other? don’t love that. I dislike omega fics in general even if there’s a couple I’ve thought were pretty alright so that doesn’t help either. It is kind of interesting that despite their differences this could be an in-universe reason to force them together. It just seems like omegafic is the lawlight default right now. Like even fics where the plot doesn’t revolve around omegaverse stuff is sometimes omegaverse and that’s ? hard for me to wrap my brain around? that’s not just a lawlight problem though that seems to be happening in a lot of fandoms

Similarly to point one, either of them being okay with losing like lol what.

yotsuba can be difficult to tackle because there’s so much going on there with the characters, but there’s so many interesting layers to explore and dive into that sometimes get ignored in favor of fluffy hijinks and that’s boring to me. from Light’s perspective L took everything from him and has made his life pretty miserable because of this whole Kira thing and catching the real Kira is the only real thing that could totally clear Light’s name and L just sort of….gives up, for a lot of it. mopes about and acts unmotivated and uninterested because Light isn’t Kira. that’s probably very frustrating for light! and fun wacky fluff or hijinks can happen, but I love when it happens in the “we got so distracted being the smartest people in the room we forgot we’re supposed to be enemies” way because that’s juicy to me

sometimes it’s the little things, too, that bother me. stuff that’ll happen and it’ll completely pull me out of the story. like L Lawliet made Naomi Misora destroy her whole damn computer after he slid into her DMs and you really think there’s any way in hell he’d have any sort of google home or siri or alexa? or casual social media, even under fake names? facebook knows everything. or light saying something or making a joke that i could never in a million years see him saying in canon because the author thought it would be funny or cute.

anytime Light is suddenly some kind of beacon of goodness champion of justice just because he didn’t find the death note. the death note didn’t make him a completely different person, he’s bitter and jaded and thinks some people would be better off dead even before getting the death note. self righteous yeah totally but actually righteous? nah man

or Light just being a fucking awful person who kidnaps and r*pes L because he lusts after him but it’s okay because somehow in the end they end up together ? i’ve seen that trope a few times and i know it existed in 2007 too i just avoided it like the plague then also.

I see a lot of AUs that are less “what would L and Light legitimately do if this was the situation or universe they were placed in” and more “i want to write this situation happening like this and i want to make it lawlight because that’s my main ship”

like, the characters that are being written are fine but if you want to write OCs right OCs. I know all of this seems really harsh which is why I put a warning about it at the beginning, and of course I know some of these problems were also prevalent between 2013-2017 and there’s tropes here that have been happening like this since the dawn of lawlight fanfiction, but since it’s happening now and now is when i’m frustrated by it now is what i’m complaining about, it could be the reason i go back to older fanfiction so much is because i had lower standards back then and it was easier for me to wade through the ones i hated to get to ones i liked and now it’s easy for me to find those again. who knows. Also I agree most fanfiction from 2007-2009 were pretty 1 dimensional.

And like, fuck me I guess but I actually like the canon characters and I joined the fandom to experience more of them and apparently that makes other people feel unsafe.

I’m not saying people aren’t allowed to express opinions that are different than me or that I Know Better Than Everyone Else or that I don’t like people posting their own headcanons or ideas or things they wish were different about the series, it’s just not my cup of tea and it’s a little frustrating that fanon is mostly all I get in fics now and that people are allowed to express opinions but only if those opinions are “people who stick too close to canon are elitist and should die and are sticks in the mud and need to leave the fandom to stop ruining things for everyone else” because like, we’re people too?

Anyway sorry this veered in a bit of a different direction and I hope I don’t lose followers over this because it’s sad to see people go but I’ve been blogging here for over 5 years and I’m not going to stop anytime soon. I also wrote most of this while having bad anxiety at like 3am last night so it’s all over the place and i’m probably going to think of like eight things in the shower later I forgot to mention because i’ve been thinking over this ask for like two weeks now.

#this is a LOT and i'm sorry #please don't all hate me for this #i promise i'm not trying to ruin anyone's fun i'm just bored of what's out there right now #and there ARE some good works too that i have enjoyed a #it's just.#hhhhh #death note #discourse

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damienthepious · 6 years ago

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ficlet time! here’s another lil weird one for all y’all lizard lovers! there might be another, longer fic later today if i can get myself together. cross your fingers! :P

each kiss to lip and cheek

[ao3]

[Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Kissing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, (... i don't know how to tag this it's strange), Interspecies Awkwardness, (the realities of trying to kiss your lipless monster boyfriend)

Summary: Literally: how the lizard kisses.

Notes: The most Lizard Kissin' Fic for the most Lizard Kissin' Day, this time. Have I said the word 'kiss' enough, yet? JUST WAIT, FRIENDS! Title taken from the song Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier.]

Rilla wonders, early on, how can I kiss Lord Arum?

She starts with theories. Those are joined by expectations, and hopes, and a fluttering in her stomach at the possibilities. Then, after mistakes and miscommunications and near-disasters, she actually has the opportunity to take her theories and put them to practice.

Kissing between the three of them is a dance with a sense of balance that fascinates Rilla and inspires Damien. The two humans kiss, of course, and Saints above does Rilla enjoy every talent of Damien’s lovely mouth, just as Damien adores Rilla's confidence and playfulness. Rilla and Damien can kiss Arum, as well, can press their lips to his scales wherever they please, can even kiss his mouth, though his thin lips can’t quite reciprocate their motions. Arum kisses back, though, in his own way.

A kiss from Arum is a knife dropped aside, and a purring nuzzle that Damien meets with his own lips, panting and sweet and full of relief.

It is Arum draping himself over his lovers in exhaustion at the end of a hard day, sighing into their soft hair, drawn by warmth and comfort and too tired to pretend otherwise.

It is the delicate, deliberate application of teeth. It is Arum biting down, soft but purposeful, into Damien’s bottom lip when he leans in for a kiss. It is Arum scraping their jaggedness over Rilla’s collarbone before sinking them so very carefully into her shoulder as she smiles through her noises of delight.

It is the way he will press his snout into the crook of either of their necks, darting his tongue out to gather their scent, feeling their hot mammal hearts pulsing quick against him.

It is the way he opens his mouth when Rilla’s lips tease at its edge, the way his breath catches when she presses her tongue inside.

It is how he feigns indulgence when he eagerly leans down as one of his lovers comes close, allowing them to give him a peck on the cheek in passing.

It is his own narrow tongue, flicked quick and playful to tickle Rilla’s cheek, or dancing up the column of Damien’s throat, or curled around Rilla’s fingers like a challenge.

It is the press of his face against theirs, his snout nuzzling against their cheekbones like the affectionate buffeting of a cat.

It is his gentle complaints grumbled against Damien’s hair in the early morning when he tries to untangle from bed to do his exercises, the way Arum clings and drags the knight back under the covers for a few more precious moments of heat, and the sweet slide of skin against scales.

It is all four of his arms clasped tight around Rilla, leaning down to press his forehead to hers, the whir at the back of his throat pitched low and lovely.

Arum cannot kiss. He is not built to do so. He complains fiercely at the ridiculousness of the act, he rolls his eyes and grumbles about the impracticality of tangling lips and tongues. He explains how nonsensical it is to press soft, unscaled faces together- but Arum sways towards their ridiculous, impractical, and nonsensical mammal affection nonetheless. He leans into their lips, and his growls subside into purring every time. Sweetness and softness and wordless voice, their strange press of mouth as if they would inhale him or devour him if they could, and Arum still complains but he delights in every touch.

Arum cannot kiss. For a creature such as he, it is impossible.

But Lord Arum is a weaver of impossibilities, and he grins as he curls his tail around Damien, dipping him like a dancer and sliding the line of his mouth along Damien’s gasping lips, and he revels and basks in this newest, sweetest spark of impossible magic.

#elle's fanfic #the penumbra podcast #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #lord arum #sir damien #amaryllis of exile #enjoy i hope??????

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henrik-von-schneeplestein · 5 years ago

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Hewwo. You mentioned liking certain albums and songs for the jse egos and ships, what about for the Sander's sides? 👀 Are there any songs you like for certain ships you like? ❣️

HFJDHGJG YEPPP! Not quite as many, just bc I’m new to the fandom but I definitely have thoughts!

Before y’all who are annoyed with me ranting about Taylor jump ship:

-”Pioneer” by The Band Perry is SUCH a good Roman song omg just the softest song about the creative spirit & bravery

-”Lovefool” by the Cardigans is... Deceit’s karaoke song. I have no rationale or defense for this statement whatsoever it just came up on shuffle the other day and I for some reason could picture him singing it perfectly and now I can’t let it go. Roman’s karaoke song is probably like “Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain. Idk what the other sides’ go-to karaoke songs are but PLEASE lmk what y’all think bc I wanna know

Anyway Taylor time. People w/ bad taste in music you’re free to go now. Have a nice night and please don’t unfollow me

Roman is both the side I think would most be a fan on Taylor and also who has the most Taylor songs that remind me of him.

“White Horse” is definitely a Roman song. Like just change the gender (from ‘princess’ to ‘prince’) and it fits perfectly - a “dreamer” who has the beautiful, romantic fantasies they believe in challenged and emerges stronger but still believing in all those wonderful things... catch me crying

“Starlight” is the other song that has strong Roman vibes to me again bc of the ‘dream impossible dreams’ thing & another ref to a prince (and a ‘duchess’ ((duke)) but it def feels more roman than remus to me). Could definitely be a prinxiety song given the second verse: He said, “look at you, worrying too much about things you can’t change. You’ll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way.” He was trying to skip rocks on the ocean, saying to me, “don’t you see the starlight? Don’t you dream impossible things?”

Honestly the whole Red album has Roman vibes to me which makes sense assuming his color is red for the same reason she chose that title: bc it symbolizes passion. It really specifically reminds me of him in the ‘Moving On’ videos - him having a hard time letting go of a relationship but ultimately realizing it must be done strongly reminded me of “Red” (the song), “I Almost Do,” and “All Too Well”

LOVES “Wonderland” bc it’s gay uhhh Disney references no but he’d be all over that ‘too in love to think straight’ pun.... and the sheer DRAMA of writing your ex’s fucking TUMBLR URL into a song

“Love Story” and “Today Was a Fairytale” need I say more

Virgil is definitely AT LEAST a Speak Now stan - some of you are too young to remember it and some of you are still too salty to acknowledge it but from like 2008-2011 especially there was the Emo Swiftie phenomenon where a bunch of us very edgy emo kids who liked Panic! & MCR were also Taylor fans. Like she wasn’t considered emo at all but she had the same lyricism & theatricality, and the rampant slutshaming didn’t really start until 2012 so it wasn’t nearly as uncool to like her. So yeah Virgil’s been a secret passenger on the Taylor train for a while

He’s SUPER unwilling to admit it at first but as soon as Roman figures it out they bond & talk about their fav songs

emo boy is most definitely a “Haunted” stan

All I WANT is Virgil in the famous purple Speak Now tour dress and if I had a shred of artistic talent him in that dress under the glowing tree would be the first thing I drew

“Out of the Woods” is a Virgil song - Taylor literally said that the main feeling she was trying to capture is anxiety (x). I would also like to see Virgil in the OOTW music video. Give my baby some WOLVES.

“The Archer” is very literally about anxiety & imposter syndrome I don’t think I need to defend that being a Virgil song

“Afterglow” and “Delicate” belong on any ship playlist involving Virgil

Someone sing “Innocent” to this boy immediately

My favorite Virgil song actually isn’t “The Archer” even though that’s the most obvious - I think “Daylight” is the best one. He’s wounded the good & he’s trusted the wicked y’all!!! But it’s brighter now!!!! I love him!!!!!

With Deceit I see the obvious comparison to “Look What You Made Me Do” and it works pretty well but I think the best Deceit song is def “I Did Something Bad” - ‘for every lie I tell them they tell me three’ ‘this is how the world works; you gotta leave before you get left.’ Also my position just in general is that IDSB is the Distinguished Gay Villain Song & LWYMMD is the Disaster Gay Villain Song.

That said, the only reason Deceit’s never done the traditional Rise Into Frame is to keep me specifically from making a joke about Karyn rising out of the stage during LWYMMD (x) - it’s true my cousin’s best friend’s uncle was an extra in the Sanders Sides he played Roman’s sword

Deceit’s real name is Karyn I cracked it y’all

Also it makes me really excited that the LWYMMD tour outfit is kinda similar to Deceit’s. Something about having the initials TS just makes you go ‘snake time’ and put on a black cape/shirt/jacket thing with yellow/gold accents I guess

“End Game” is a Remus/Deceit song - ‘you like the bad ones, too’ = they’re both dark sides, “you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips” = Deceit

“New Romantics” is just like ‘let’s lie our way through society’ so

Remus really reminds me of the swift fandom itself and idk what else to say about that bc if you’ve never been in that fandom I don’t know how to explain it to you and if you’ve been in that fandom for even 5 minutes you don’t need me to explain it to you

ME! is such a Remus song!! ‘I know that I’m a handful, baby, UH! I know I never think before I jump’ & ‘I would never bore you baby;’ also ‘like a rainbow with all of the colors’ reminds me of Remus saying ‘if you want the spectrum A-Z then you’ll need a little help from ME!” AND the song tends to get stuck in your head (or it does for me anyway) - kind of Remus’s M.O.

We already know he likes “Shake It Off” lol

Those of y’all who are horny for Remus and I know you’re out there.... “False God” is the song for you

could also be Remus/Deceit - Remus does use Deceit as the serpent in the Garden of Eden after all

Patton is just all the soft love songs lbr. “Stay Stay Stay,” “Paper Rings,” “Our Song,”etc. Also “Never Grow Up” and “Fifteen” and bc he’s nostalgic but also a father w/ good advice.

OK before I do Logan songs I just gotta tell you I was listening to “Tim McGraw” recently and my mind went “he said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night; I said ‘FALSEHOOD’” but anyway

“New Year’s Day” - the references to books/pages fits and also the sort of comforting vibe that Logan can have; it’s a more realistic view of love about how there’s no way to know for sure what’s going to happen but knowing that you’re in it even for the worst

“I Think He Knows” belongs on the playlist for any ship involving Logan

He’d love “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” but when she’s like ‘where are the wise men?’ he’d be like ‘I’m right here beech’

And with that, I think I need to be done for now lol. Thank you so much for asking & letting me dump all this here. I love you!!!!

#asks #anon #long post

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romanticsuspense · 6 years ago

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Hello! Love your thoughts on Roger. What are your thoughts when some fans say Sophie and Richard dont have chemistry?

Hello! Thank You! :)

That is a very excellent question! I have many, many thoughts on this, which is why I’m planning to, eventually, write an extensive post about it. I’ll try to give you a short-ish rundown here.

“There is literally no chemistry between Rick and Sophie.” … “The casting of those characters is an abject failure.” It doesn’t bug me that there are fans that don’t think Sophie and Rick have chemistry; that’s their opinion and they’re welcome to it, and trying to convince them to see what I see would be a fruitless endeavor. It does bug me to hear fans say Sophie and Richard have zero chemistry as if it’s a fact and the casting department made a mistake in hiring them. They didn’t make a mistake; they made a creative choice that appeals to some fans and not others. Someone had to see chemistry between Rick and Sophie for them to be cast! Consuming fiction, whether the written word or through visual mediums, is a very subjective experience. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we bring a lot of ourselves into that experience. It’s simply impossible to be objective about it. When we say so and so don’t have chemistry, what we’re really saying is that we, personally, do not perceive chemistry between so and so.

“Chemistry exists or it doesn’t” … this is just not true. If chemistry exists or it doesn’t, why do I see it where others do not and vice versa? If chemistry exists or it doesn’t, why do fans have such diverse opinions about it? If chemistry were such a simple (black and white, on or off, there or not there) concept, the whole fandom would be in agreement about Rick and Sophie’s chemistry, but we’re not. Chemistry is not like a light bulb that we can objectively observe as being on or off. Chemistry is a subjective perception, not an objective, measurable observation.

In the replies/reblogs of many of those posts that say Richard and Sophie don’t have chemistry, I often see fans talking about how they don’t like Richard’s personality, or his beard, or they think Sophie’s voice is annoying, etc. Of course if you don’t like Richard and/or Sophie, you’re not going to think they have chemistry together. So, I think some of our opinions about “chemistry” are influenced by what we think of the actors themselves, whether we’re attracted to them, or whether we find their personality distasteful. It’s become really difficult in this age of social media to put aside our opinions about actors, and separate them from their characters, while we watch TV or movies, because we see so much of them online.

I think Richard Rankin and Sophie Skelton are very attractive people, I love their personalities, I think they’re both talented actors, and I also love Roger and Bree and am excited about seeing their story on screen. So, of course I’m likely to see chemistry between them. My positive feelings about the actors and characters mingle and feed into my perceptions of what’s happening on screen. Someone who has never liked men with chest hair, or is indifferent to Roger and Bree in the book, or thinks Sophie’s facial expressions are bland, or thinks Richard is ugly will struggle to see chemistry between them because they would have to push aside those preexisting negative feelings to see it. Or they’d have to conjure up enough positive feelings to outweigh the negative ones.

CHEMISTRY = Positive Feelings > Negative Feelings

Notice how the chemistry equation is all about feelings? That’s because it’s subjective. It bugs me when fans blame the actors for their own lack of warm, fuzzy positive feelings and cry “zero chemistry!” But, the actors can’t control your feelings. The actors (or rather your perception of them) are affecting your personal feelings, but they aren’t responsible for them.

“They had an entire season to convince us that those two had chemistry and they failed miserably.” Just how are they (Who is “they” anyway? The producers? Writers? The actors themselves?) supposed to convince individual fans to see “chemistry” between these two people? Even if they knew specifically, what negative feelings were affecting individuals’ perceptions, and they made changes to try to make those individuals’ personal chemistry equations come out positive, there would be other fans whose chemistry equations would be thrown off kilter as a result of those changes. What changes could they make, anyway? These fans don’t seem to believe that more screen time would have convinced them. So, what would? They could (not should) change the writing, the editing, the costuming, etc., but they can’t go back in time and cast different actors. They, simply, cannot appease all fans.

“[This group of fans] makes it sound like the writers and producers are clueless because they don’t know what the fandom wants–or “arrogant” because they don’t “care” what the fandom wants. But the fandom is not a monolithic entity. Many of us want different things.”

There’s a lot more to explore on this topic … Is it fair to compare Rick and Sophie’s chemistry with Sam and Cait’s? Why don’t we talk about chemistry between characters in books? How much do other factors, such as writing, editing, costuming, etc. influence our perception of chemistry? Does shipping the actors influence our perceptions of chemistry? Has ”chemistry” become a catch-all term used to express whether we personally enjoy watching two actors/characters on screen? I’ll try to answer these questions in a separate post.

Thanks for the question, anon! Sorry this response turned out more long-ish than short-ish!

#ask me anything #outlander talk #outlander #i'm not really following my long text posts on mondays only rule #oh well

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