#catch me getting emotional over hektors random charioteers

[battlinghurricanes]

FUCKING! WAIT A SEC!. I was looking through the Iliad and read a scene where Hektor's charioteer dies. Diomedes throws a spear at him but misses and hits Eniopeus, killing him and knocking him from the chariot. And Hektor is horrified with grief for him but has to leave him to find another person to drive his chariot. (Book 8 between lines 105-137)

I'm just thinking of how much that would fuck you up??! This happens a lot in the Iliad, when some soldier tries to hit another and misses, but kills someone nearby. And for the foremost commanders, it must have happened most. They're both adept enough to stay alive as well as frequently favored by the gods who would protect them, as well as being prime targets for the other side. The allies nearest them would be in greater danger because of it. And the ones killed wouldn't always be random allies of theirs.

"blinding grief for his driver overpowered Hector, / stunned for his friend" Eniopeus was Hektor's friend. How easy would it have been for him to conclude that he died because he was fighting at his side? How easy would it have been to blame himself? Did he? And the man Hektor finds to drive his chariot after dies the same way just pages later!! Even more directly resulting from Hektor's presence because Apollo deliberately deflects the arrow fired at him that kills Archeptolemus instead. And he's also described as Hektor's friend! (Book 8 between lines 292-322)

Both their deaths and Hektor's reactions are written almost exactly the same. Like these things are horrible and they're happening over and over again. How could they bear it? I've noticed a lot of moments that describe Hektor being overcome with grief over a fallen ally and then keep fighting because what else can he do? The destruction of it all is so heartbreaking. Also how much it would tear apart the ones who endured it, so much more loss than anyone can process.

What could he do seeing his friend take a killing blow meant for him without a moment to stop and mourn in the first place? When it happens again and again? It must have eaten Hektor and so many of them alive.