Mystictober Day 27 - Cat
Ray/gn! reader
Catboy Ray au goes brrr! This turned out to be way longer than expected, but what can I say? Catboys can do that to you alright.
The building of Magenta turned out to be way bigger on the inside than it initially seemed to you from the outside. Before you received your own personal key card from the Savior herself, you didn't really get the entire feel of this otherworldly place and its enormous size. Exploring these seemingly endless corridors of Magenta was slowly making your head spin with how painfully similar each new turn appeared to be when compared to the last. It felt like you were stuck in one endless hallway, not getting anywhere with time and losing sight of any distinguishing features between each area you stumbled upon. It wasn't long before you realized, that you inevitably got lost. Each new turn seemed exactly the same as the last one, and you were starting to seriously question how in the world did Ray navigate this place with such grace and precision whenever he took you out for a walk in the garden. He made it look so easy! Speaking of which... You should probably try to find him, or anyone, for that matter. You could only curse your own stupidity for not thinking about grabbing your phone with you, given your inexperience with maneuvering around this godforsaken place.
You were not allowed to visit Ray's working space, but it's not like you even knew where to find it, or how it looked like for that matter! You were stuck mindlessly wandering these long halls as a lost puppy would. You weren't sure what exactly prompted you to try and open one of the doors on your path, but it seemed like this was the right decision. Though, your immediate joy from noticing a familiar figure in a magenta suit quickly faded. You were met with a freezing cramped room, shrouded in darkness and filled with dozens of computers stacked on top of each other. You've never seen this many wires contained in one place before. Though, your attention was focused on something - or rather someone - else entirely.
To say you were shocked by the sight in front of you would be an understatement. Ray was hunched over a table, his head clenched tightly in between his hands. He was obviously in a lot of pain, judging by the rushed shaky breaths that were reaching your ears, and that he didn't even notice you standing there, gaping at him. There was something else, too.
Peeking out from under his disheveled white hair were... a pair of cat ears? And a tail curling tightly around his legs...?
Were you asleep or something!?
In any case, you hurriedly shut the door behind you so that no one else could see or hear anything that was going on in here. At least, you hoped so. You shouldn't be here in the first place!
Just in case, you desperately rubbed at your eyes, trying to discern reality from illusion, but... your measly attempt did not change anything about what you were seeing in front of you.
...what the actual hell?
"Ray?"
You slowly walked a little closer, leaning with your entire body towards the hacker and hoping to get a better look at him from a different angle. Maybe you were just seeing things wrong in this dim lighting, nothing more!
He was obviously too preoccupied with his own invisible battle, still completely oblivious to you entering the room up until the very last moment. It was the sound of his own name being pronounced by your voice reaching his ears that made him jolt abruptly in his seat, turning to look at you with a genuinely terrifying expression contorting his gentle features. He quickly jumped out of his chair, as if he wanted to run away from you on instinct, only to realize, that he was basically trapped in this very room, with you in it.
Two horrified mint eyes widened at you, and you could notice how the white fur on the long tail has fluffed out. His breath caught in his throat, as he became more and more aware of the situation he was in. Only after a little while of tense silence did Ray finally swiftly contort his tail, hiding it behind his back, and flattened both of the ears against his head, covering them with a trembling palm of his hand. "I-It's- It's not what you think it is, I swear!"
You just blinked, staring blankly at the odd situation unfolding itself in front of you.
It's rather intriguing how your utter shock at this ordeal was expressed by such an absurdly stoic facial expression on your part. It felt like your mind has decided to dull out your raging emotions to protect you.
Okay, is this... Is this really just a dream?
You kept silent, not providing any visible reaction to the actions of a panicked young man in front of you. Instead, you took a deep breath, turned your back on him, shut your eyes as tight as you could, and sharply pinched at your own arm. It's the only thing that came to your utterly confused mind at the time. A soft hiss escaped through your clenched teeth, but... when you opened your eyes again and looked back at Ray... nothing has changed at all.
Huh.
Now you had absolutely no idea how you were supposed to react to something like this, or what you could even say to him right now. So, you were left with no choice but to be as painfully frank as you possibly could with him. Now, your gaze was strictly fixed on... these bizarre new body parts of his.
How can they look so real?
"I... I don't know what you're talking about, but I can see cat ears and a tail on you."
With an effort, you looked up at his face, suddenly starting to feel weirdly afraid yourself of the implications of such a predicament. "Um... There's something wrong with me, isn't there?"
Was there some kind of hallucinogen in the morning coffee you drank? Did they add some elixir in there, without his knowledge? That sounded highly unlikely, but... what other possible explanations could lead to something like this?
Your legs moved on their own accord, making you take a few steps forward to get even closer to Ray, who was the main source of your distress. Fortunately, thanks to him clearly suffering from some kind of internal pain, he couldn't think quickly on his feet right now. He was frozen in place, which meant that you could figure out the explanation all by yourself. His 'ears' were safely hidden under his palm, so... You turned your attention to the tail.
It... is a tail, right?
Taking the last remaining step forward to close the remaining distance between the two of you, you reached out tentatively and took the tip of the tail in the palm of your hand. And that was the exact moment when your false composure immediately fell apart in one second flat.
The hacker's entire body froze up when your fingers first touched his tail. His face immediately flushed bright red, which was pretty noticeable even with the sickly pink hue covering his cheeks already.
Your eyes quickly became the size of a dinner plate as you stared at the soft object moving in your hand.
This... This feels way too real to be a hallucination! You could feel every single definitive texture as if it was a real cat tail!
Oddly enough, it's not like you were holding his tail with much force. Even though you initially thought it was merely a hallucination and nothing more, your touch was as gentle as usual. And now, when all the absurdity of what is happening right now has fallen onto your shoulders at once, you are very unlikely to simply give in, no matter what he tells you, or how convincing it will sound.
To make sure that what you're feeling is truly real, you began to slowly massage the fluffy tail in your hand: gently squeezing and unclenching your fingers around it and exploring the texture to the best of your abilities.
No. As surreal as it may seem, this is clearly not a hallucination. It's a real tail, and it was attached to the man you thought you knew.
Breathing out shakily, you finally took a step back, lifting your gaze back up to his face and wordlessly searching for possible answers that could somehow explain this whole situation. To say you looked puzzled by all of this would be an understatement of the century.
"Ray... what is this?"
While Ray continued to battle with his own thoughts in his head, he was still trying to make desperate attempts to hide everything from you.
"It's... It's nothing!" He yanked his tail out of your hands and it wrapped tightly around his leg.
"You didn't see anything. I-it's just an accident!"
The young man now firmly grabbed you by the shoulders, desperately trying to catch his breath and somehow keep you from freaking out, as a small part of you rightfully desired to do.
Though, his words sounded more like he was trying to convince himself rather than make you believe in the story he made up on the spot. His eyes anxiously darted around the room, straining to find a place where he could hide and wait this out, but he was met with an obvious problem. He could not leave this room and put himself at risk of being seen like this by other believers. Ray could only helplessly squeeze his eyes shut in response to the pain assaulting his head with renewed vigor and whimper under his breath.
You blinked, trying to somehow digest everything that you've seen in front of you with your own two eyes.
You opened your mouth to say something - anything - but closed it again, finding it extremely difficult to discern any cohesive thoughts out of the raging storm happening inside of your mind at this very moment. You no longer knew what to believe. It all just seemed like some kind of bizarre dream, not something that could be happening to you in the reality you thought you knew so well! And yet... your eyes didn't lie to you. Just like the feeling of his... tail on the skin of your hand.
Moreso, you couldn't help but notice how much more expressive he had become with these new fluffy additions to his form. As absurd as it may seem, he looked absolutely miserable and terrified due to his ears and tail adding even more emotion to his body language. In fact, that's exactly why you hesitated before deciding to start showering him with the sea of questions that were buzzing loudly inside of your head.
This is all very confusing, but... He is clearly in pain. And you had no idea, why that is. As much as you wanted to get all the answers you needed from him right now, it's... clearly not the right time for that.
You were even starting to feel a tiny bit guilty for your shocked reaction a moment prior, seeing just how much this whole ordeal has frightened him.
So... Instead, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your rapidly pounding heart inside of your chest. "H-hey... don't be so afraid. I... I'm not going to do anything. I promise. You look like you really need some proper rest right now... I'm sorry if I disturbed you, I didn't mean to. We... can talk about this later, when you're feeling better. So... don't stress yourself out like that. It's okay."
God, you can't believe you're actually saying all of this... to a real catboy?
It sounds so stupid-
He seemed to be at a loss for words for a moment before his trembling fingers squeezed your shoulders slightly as if he was trying to keep you in one place still. His voice sounded hoarse and strained when he finally found enough strength to respond to you, wincing from the unknown pain still torturing him from within.
"You... Ugh- You... You didn't see anything, okay? I need you to keep this a secret, Y/N, I beg of you. I'll explain everything- O-only later. I'm very sorry!"
You slowly took a step back, even managing to put on a small smile in an attempt to reassure him.
As absurd as this situation may seem, you just didn't have the heart to put so much pressure on him when he looked so... scared. It didn't seem right to you. You wouldn't be true to yourself if you put your thirst for answers before his well-being. So, you accepted his conditions, without putting up any further fight. "Okay. I won't tell anyone, I promise. Then... You can text or call me when you're ready. Or... visit me yourself, if you'll find the time for that. I'll be waiting. Just... tell me how to get to my room from here? I... kinda got lost."
----
The next time you heard anything from Ray was on the afternoon of the next day. You were starting to get seriously worried for him, before you heard a familiar ringtone buzzing from your phone that was resting peacefully on the bedside stand. Among the many apologies you had to scroll through, he has notified you that he managed to free just about enough time in his busy schedule to visit you, if you desired to see him at all. It seemed like he really thought that you were disgusted by what you saw and never wanted to speak with him again.
The thought pained your heart, and you tried to respond in the kindest way you possibly could, making sure to add a smiling emoji with a heart at the end of your messages. You wanted to make him feel safe and welcome, in the best way you knew. Speaking of which, maybe you should take advantage of your new key card on such an occasion!
----
You smiled widely at the familiar sound of soft knocking at your door, exclaiming a cheerful: 'Come in!' in response to your long-awaited visitor.
Just as you expected, Ray looked extremely guilty the moment he walked in, quickly casting his eyes to the floor and hunching his shoulders, as if he wanted to make himself look as small as possible under your gaze. Deciding to take the lead, you got up from your bed, walked over to him, and gave him a small warm smile in an attempt to reassure him that you were not mad or put off by him at all.
"Hi. Are you feeling any better? I made you some tea to help with your headaches. It's warm and sweet, so I think you will like it very much!"
You grinned, pointing at the steaming mug resting next to the beautiful vase with a bouquet of yellow roses he has given you two days prior.
Ray sharply lifted his head to look at you with a genuinely shocked expression on his face. Sort of on instinct, he ran a hand through his hair, like he was checking for the presence of the two cat ears you'd seen on him yesterday. The young man smiled awkwardly at you, only now processing your words in his head. Finally, when he noticed the mug of tea meant for him standing on the small white table nearby, his cheeks quickly flushed bright red. He looked completely dumbfounded at your warm greeting like it was the last thing he has expected from you right now.
"Ah... I'm feeling better now, you shouldn't have..." His voice wavered, making your heart clench in your chest. God, he sounded like he wanted to cry, and all you wanted to do was to hold him in your arms and reassure him, that everything was going to be okay.
"You are so caring... I don't know if I can ever repay you for everything you do for me."
He became noticeably quieter, as you could see hesitation swimming in his mint eyes. His gaze dropped back down to the floor, making you frown in displeasure.
You took a tentative step towards him, searching for his eyes hidden beneath his carefully combed bangs.
"Well... I think you're doing enough already." You smiled sheepishly, folding your hands behind her back.
"You're doing so much to protect me. And you're always making sure that all of my needs are rightfully taken care of."
Suddenly feeling a bit unsure about your initial plans for this meeting, you hummed under your breath, tilting your head to the side.
"Um... We can talk about what happened yesterday when you're ready. Of course, I'd like to know all the answers, but... I don't want to stress you out or cause you any problems because of my curiosity. We can... go at our own pace." You bashfully scratched the back of your neck, bouncing back and forth on your feet to rid of the nervous energy buzzing around in your stomach.
"So, what I mean is... I don't mind waiting for however long you might need. And my feelings for you did not change a bit. Which is why you don't have to be afraid of me treating you any differently from before. You're still my Ray that I've known all this time, and I care for you deeply."
You could hear him breath out a shaky sigh.
"You're too kind to me..." Ray was still afraid to look up. This time, however, it seemed like he was too ashamed to look at you, rather than him just being afraid to see your reaction to seeing him again. He cleared his throat, shaking his head slightly.
"Uhh, y-yes, right. You're... talking about that."
The young man timidly looked away, squeezing one of his palms with his other hand, like he was trying to ground himself. You involuntarily remembered how frightened he looked yesterday, with those flattened ears and tucked-in tail. Ray's emotions were already written plain as day on his face but in that new appearance... They were expressed even more clearly to you.
He hummed, shifting from one foot to another. "I think we can talk about it... Probably. Mmh... whenever you want. It's... the least I could do for shocking you like that."
Literally, everything in his body language showed how uncomfortable this topic felt for him and, in truth, he looked kinda scared even at the prospect of this much-needed conversation he himself had promised to you.
You took a few more steps forward, getting close enough to reach out and take his gloved hands in your own. You gave Ray a small reassuring smile, wordlessly relaying to him, that there was nothing he needed to be afraid of.
"Well... in that case, I'd like to talk about it as soon as possible. Of course, only if you're ready. I don't insist."
You decided to state, in an attempt to rid of at least a fraction of nerves that simply oozed off of Ray in waves. God, it pained you so much to see him this anxious and skittish in front of you.
Either way, you gently tugged him toward the table with a swift nod of your head.
"Let's sit down, okay? You can enjoy your tea while we talk. It should help with some of your nerves, I promise." You sat down in your chair, patting your hand on your knee in a silent invitation. Not that you were calling him over to sit on your lap, of course. Though, the thought made your cheeks feel quite warm.
Once he decided to follow your lead and settle down in the chair opposite from yours, you shifted a bit closer to take one of his hands in yours yet again. For some reason, you just really wanted to hold his hand right now. Your grip wasn't at all firm, letting him know that he could pull away from you at any given moment. You didn't want him to feel trapped or cornered in any way.
It seems like physical contact made his cheeks warm up even more, and you couldn't help but giggle under your breath at the soft gasp he let out the moment your hand has touched his. Sometimes he's just too adorable for his own good.
"So... can you share this with me? I promise I won't tell this information to anyone if you so desire."
He swallowed nervously, fidgeting with the fabric of the glove on his free hand.
"I-I'll try. Just, please... Don't tell anyone about this. You can't let anyone else know any of this. And... Please, don't tell the Savior either." His voice became noticeably quieter and more frightened when he spoke of his Savior, anxiously glancing around the room as if he was searching for any hidden listeners, that might be lurking nearby.
You nodded, prompting him to begin his story. You listened patiently as he talked, occasionally squeezing his hand in yours whenever the words got caught up in his throat and he needed a moment to breathe.
You didn't expect him to ask you not to tell about this to the Savior of all people. Does she know? Both options seemed strange in their own way. In any case... well, this certainly explains why he's so afraid of the outside world now. Perhaps... you would be afraid too if you were put in his place.
Surely the Savior used this fear of his for her own purposes. Your heart ached for him whenever you thought of that.
Once he finished, you sighed heavily, gently squeezing his glowed fingers in both of your hands.
"Hey now... Of course, I won't be disgusted over something like that, you have nothing to be afraid of. While yes, I... I still find it really hard to believe that something like this is even possible, that doesn't mean it's something bad. And it's not like you chose to be like this, right? I think it'll be wrong of me to judge you for this. You're still you. But... I do understand why you'd be afraid of me finding out. People are scared of something they don't understand. I can't... blame you for hiding this from me."
You pursued your lips thoughtfully, rubbing slow circles on the skin of his palm with your thumb.
"So... I won't treat you differently for something like this, you don't have to worry about that, I promise. And you don't need to apologize to me either. It's something pretty personal, and you had every right to keep this from me. Plus... even though it happened by chance, you still told me everything now. You could choose overwise, you know? Make up some white lie or deny everything all together. And, most likely, I would have believed you, given how bizarre this all sounds." You chuckled softly, averting your gaze.
"So, thank you for sharing this with me and putting your trust in me. I promise I won't tell anyone. Oh, and, by the way... You reminded me of a cat for quite some time now. I guess I finally learned the reason for that."
You held back a small laugh that almost broke free from you without your knowledge. You didn't want him to think you were laughing at him or anything like that. "And while it is only your choice to make... I don't see anything wrong with allowing yourself more freedom in this regard. At least here, where no one else can see you. I think those cat ears and tail looked just lovely on you... They're actually really cute if I'm being honest with myself."
Tentatively, he raised his eyes at your face, clearly unsure on what to say. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, before finally finding the right words to respond to such a heartfelt speech from you.
"I... Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve such kindness, but I'm... truly happy that you don't hate me now. I was... I was so afraid that you'd find me scary or disgusting when I'm like this and leave me... I promise you, that no matter what happens, I won't hurt you, okay? I consider myself completely human despite this form. I have total control over my body even in other forms, so I will never ever harm you, I promise..."
Ray paused for a moment and looked down at the floor, pursing his lips into a thin line and seemingly pondering over something.
The young man looked back nervously at the door and, after making sure that it was closed, closed his eyes.
You did not understand what was happening immediately, it seemed like everything happened almost instantly, but after blinking once or twice, those same fluffy ears flaunted on the top of his head, as his snow-white tail sank to the ground.
"S-See? I-I'm in total control of myself right now. Sometimes my forms change on their own accord if I'm really hurt or scared, but, for the most part, I can control them. And- and if you want... You can touch me. If you don't mind it, of course." He fiddled with his hands nervously, casting his eyes back to the floor. His ears and tail also conveyed his nervous state of mind as crystal clear as during yesterday's incident, making your heart flutter helplessly in response.
Oh, god, he looks so unbelievably cute...
For a few moments, you just stared at him, as pure amazement practically sparkled in your eyes. You still found it pretty hard to believe that all of this is indeed real. You didn't expect him to show you so much trust right now. This notion made your heart flutter with joyous glee. However, you quickly breathed a long sigh to compose yourself. You slowly got up from your chair, taking a small step forward and tilting your head to one side in curiosity.
So astounding... You would never have thought that something like this could be real.
Still, you needed to calm him down first and foremost.
"Of course, I wouldn't mind. They suit you so much, Ray."
A reassuring smile crossed your lips as you carefully lifted one of your hands to gently run it through his bleached hair and then touch one of the cat ears, as soft and fluffy to the touch as a normal cat's ear would feel. Your giddy smile grew in size as your eyes sparkled with pure delight.
Ray, seemingly on pure instinct, closed his eyes the moment you first touched his ear, leaning into your hand, as an affectionate cat would.
You couldn't help yourself. Of course, you understood that showing this form was rather difficult and unpleasant for him, however... you simply could not help but admire him like this. He looked so beautiful to you right now. Those adorable ears and tail really... really suited him. It's as if they were always supposed to be there. Like they were meant to be on him.
And yet... you decided to stop tormenting him for now. Having finished with your quick experiment on one of his ears, you pulled away and sat back down in your chair next to his own, resting your chin on your palm.
"Wow, thank you for trusting me with this, really. And... it doesn't scare me at all, so don't worry. It's still hard to imagine... but it's not scary whatsoever. Plus, if you wanted to hurt me in any way, you would have done so already, so I have nothing to worry about. I trust you." A soft smile lit up your face.
"And trust me when I say that the last thing I'll hate on someone is a pair of adorable cat ears and a tail. You know how much I love cats."
You laughed softly as you mindlessly ran your fingers through your hair.
Can he purr as well-?
When the hacker finally looked up at you again, a shaky sigh was all he could let out. His cheeks were a lovely shade of bright red and his eyes were so wide you couldn't help but get lost in them. Whether it's just how nice your touches felt, or your unconditional trust in him, or maybe your overly sweet words pouring into his ears - he was as mesmerized by you as you were by him. Maybe it was all these factors put together.
"I-I trust you too..." His voice sounded so small, and yet, it wasn't for a bad reason this time around. He was still unsure about all of this, but... It seems like there was more bravery in him than you initially thought. His next words certainly caught you by surprise.
"I'm not used to being touched like this. B-but if you don't feel uncomfortable and- and maybe want to do it again... Y-you can do that whenever you want to."
He involuntarily shivered in embarrassment at these words.
However, you found yourself practically buzzing with glee, suddenly gathering all of your willpower so as to not crush him in a tight hug right at the spot. Instead, you grinned, reaching out over the table once more, and placing your hand on the top of his head. This time, when you caressed his soft ears, you could feel a slight vibrating sensation moving through your entire body and making you giggle in delight. "I'll take you up on that promise, my lovely prince."
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