#cat briefly jumping onto a counter before being shooed off? who give a shit

[eugeniedanglars]

if you spend too much time on reddit it’s easy to forget that redditors are all deeply insane people convinced that they’re normal. then someone posts a photo of their cat sitting next to a stand mixer and the post gets hundreds of comments calling it the most disgusting thing they’ve ever seen and saying the buttercream in that stand mixer (which has not been and will not be in contact with the counter the cat is sitting on) is unfit for human consumption, as is all food prepared in the same room as an animal because of shedding and airborne parasites. like oh okay you people actually are in a constant state of hysteria looking for something to justify it. no wonder misogynistic pr smear campaigns do so well on that site

[hopingforromanoff]

Sweet Ass

First off…. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUCKY

Pairing: Stucky x reader, but mostly just Bucky x reader

Warnings: Bucky being an annoying little shit, and also SMUT SMUT SMUT

SO 18+ ONLY

Requests are open, so feel free to send in requests and I will do my best to get them posted ASAP.

A/N: This has been in my brain for MONTHS, and I finally was able to write it, so I decided that Bucky’s birthday was a good time to post it!

Also, @sebbbystaaan made me do it, though it was pretty easy to convince me 

Hope you enjoy!

My Masterlist

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“Y/N” Bucky whined your name for the fourth time in the past five minutes. 

“Bucky, you’re not even supposed to be in here, I’m trying to bake you a birthday cake. Can you please go hang out with Steve for a little?” You playfully glared at him over the kitchen island as you prepped the ingredients to make icing. 

“He’s ‘working’’' Bucky mocked Steve before adding “I can’t believe that it’s my freaking birthday, and neither my girlfriend or boyfriend will give me attention”. 

You ignored him, continuing to gather supplies. You knew he was giving you those stupid, adorable puppy dog eyes, and you knew you wouldn’t be able say no to that. He dramatically threw his muscular body into the overly small chair and proceeded to pout. It took every power with you to stifle a giggle; the vision before you closely resembled a cat squeezing into a small box. 

He left you alone for a few minutes until you began to whisk the icing together, adding light blue coloring. From the corner of your eye, you spotted Bucky begin to move from the chair, and slowly make his way towards you. 

“Bucky, what are you doing?” You said with a look of minor irritation on your face as he began to fiddle with the bag of icing sugar. 

“Don’t be mean. Can I help?” You shook your head no, shooing him away with your hands. 

Bucky let out a sound of surprise and you glanced up to see Bucky’s blue shirt covered in the sugar.  He had a guilty look on his face, and you rolled your eyes at his shenanigans. He circled around the island, and came to stand behind you, his hand settling on top of your ass. 

“Buckyyy” you whined. “Can you please keep your hands to yourself for like 30 more minutes? I promise i’ll give you attention as soon as i’m done with this cake” 

“Doll I just can’t help it, you’ve got a sweet ass” he chuckled as he stepped back, admiring the white icing sugar handprint that decorated the back of your black leggings. 

You once again ignored him, just wanting to finish the cake so you could spend time with him. You turned and began to search through the drawer for a spoon to scrape the sides of the bowl, when something wet and sticky hit the side of your neck. When you glared up at Bucky, he was licking fresh icing off of his finger. 

“Shit sweetheart, I think you have something on your neck. Let me get that for you” he had a cocky smile on his face as he approached, one of his hands settling on your hip, the other on the small of your back, pulling you close. His tongue met the side of your neck and he licked one long strip. You melted into him as he continued to alternate between licking and biting long after the icing was gone. He tightened his grip on you as he began to nibble just under your ear. 

You jumped when the timer went off indicating that the cake needed to come out of the oven. You shook your haze as you reached for the oven mitt, and pulled the golden brown cake from the oven. As soon as you placed the cake down, you were softly shoved back against the island counter. 

“Can we please forget about the cake for fifteen minutes?” Bucky took your lack of response as a yes. “Good” Bucky’s hands wrapped around the back of your thighs, and he was lifting you into the air, and placing you down on the countertop. Bucky settled in between your legs and his  hands found their way under your shirt and before long your shirt hit the floor with a soft thud. 

You began to fiddle with the buckle of his pants as he worked on the clasp of your pastel pink lace bra. Bucky quickly got distracted when his pants joined your shirt on the floor and you began to palm him through his gray boxers. His eyes scrunched shut, thankful for finally getting some attention. 

 “Do you really think you should be doing stuff like that, Old Man?” Steve chuckled as he observed from the hall. 

“Hey pal! Watch who you're calling Old Man, Old Man” Bucky abandoned you to reach for Steve, your feet dangling over the edge of the counter. 

Steve greeted the birthday boy by roughly cupping his face, and pressing his lip onto Bucky’s. Seeing Bucky distracted for a moment, you slipped from the counter, falling to your knees in front of the two. Steve moves to stand behind Bucky, beginning to leave kisses on his neck. You pushed his boxers down to his ankles, and began to lick the side of his cock. 

“Jesus, happy birthday to me” Bucky sighed as he let his head fall back onto Steve shoulder. 

Steve continued his assault, and Bucky let out a soft moan when you took him in your mouth. You wrapped your hand around the part you couldn’t fit in your mouth, and you hollowed out your cheeks, bobbing up and down. This continued for a few minutes, the only sound filling the air was Bucky’s whimpers and him softly cursing in Russian. 

“Y/N, stop” Bucky cried as he shoved you off of him. You screamed when he threw you over his shoulder, dumping you back down on the kitchen counter. He practically ripped your leggings off, his hands holding your hips down as he began to kiss your bare thighs. 

“Hey baby” you greeted as Steve finally decided to join the two of you. Steve wrapped his arms around your back, and with a gentle tug, your skin touched. 

“Stevie, I’m kinda trying to do something here” Bucky groaned as he pulls your underwear off. 

Steve mumbled a soft sorry, but you know he wasn’t actually. His hands are in your hair tugging lightly. His hand moves down your cheekbone, and then to your lips. He then begins to kiss you gently, a great contrast to the rough kisses Bucky was leaving on your thighs. You moaned against Steve’s lip as Bucky’s tongue met your clit. Steve tightened his grip on you when Bucky added his fingers to the mix. 

“Easy baby, Bucky’s gonna yell at me again if you keep moving” Steve chuckled into your ear. Bucky’s foot met the back of Steve knee, and Steve nearly fell. He managed to recover though, and began to lick and bite your neck. At the mercy of your boys, you knew you wouldn’t last long.

Bucky’s finger grazed your g-spot, and you bucked your hips only for them to be pushed right back down. Once he realized the reaction it would pull from you, he continued to do it over, and over again, each time driving you closer to the edge. 

“Bucky, I gonna” you managed to gasp out between moans. You let out a long whimper when Bucky pulled his fingers out. 

“Shh doll, it's okay” Bucky soothed as you felt his cock at your entrance. You writhed in Steve’s arm when Bucky finally pushed in. You realized that poor Stevie was getting left out and you reached for the buckle of his belt. Your shaking hands fumbled with it as Bucky increased his pace. 

Finally getting the message, Steve quickly unlatched the belt, shoving his pants, along with his underwear to the floor. Your hands wrapped around his already hard cock and began to stroke it at a fast pace. The two moaning men in front of you did nothing to stop your impending orgasm. 

You bucked your hips into his again but this time no one had the energy to stop you, being too far gone themselves. You cried out when Bucky gave a particularly hard thrust sending you right over the edge. You clenched around him, pulling him right with you. Bucky let out a string of curse words as he panted through his orgasm. His forehead fell to yours as you both tried to catch your breath. Bucky’s hands ran from the end of your thighs all the way up to you hips trying to soothe your moans.  Steve briefly stepped back, allowing the two of you to bask in it. 

Having recovered a little, you remembered Steve. You called Bucky’s name and he hummed in response. You nodded your head in Steve's direction and whispered “we forgot about someone”. 

A smirk appeared on Bucky’s face as he pulled himself from you. He looked at Steve like he was Bucky’s dinner, and Bucky attacked. Steve smiled at his boyfriend's excitement and pulled him into a passionate kiss. You slipped from the counter, landing on your wobbly legs. 

“Get back on the counter, you made me wait long enough while you baked, i’m not done with you yet” Bucky broke away briefly from Steve. 

You chuckled, hauling yourself back onto the counter “Whatever you want, Birthday Boy”

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Permanent Taglist: @sebbbystaaan @constantaking