#casually pretending that half the movie didnt happen:

[sharkart-nomnom]

Mlem

[seijorhi]

asks :))

what i have learned today is that y’all wanna get fucked by some monsters...

What does nostos mean? What language is it in? 🤔 also I of course loved it, mind blown as usual queen

it’s ancient greek! it means homecoming, the idea of a triumphant return home for the hero after a long journey. i found it through looking at the root of nostalgia. in this fic of course it’s kind of a grim tongue in cheek play on it. the reader’s coming back to the mountains, but she’s running away after a bad breakup, and the welcome she gets is... shall we say less than ideal haha

Just read nostos-

First of all as a person who reads monster shit- hell ya. Mhm. That’s some good shit right there. That was DELICIOUS horror. It actually had me a bit nervous and afraid to read what was gonna happen next 😳

Secondly- omg I wanna know what happened next (at the end) 👀 know what I mean??? 😼

ANYWAY AS ALWAYS you never disappoint and your writing is fantastic (if/when you write horror yandere stuff again I’ll be there- frothing at the mouth. A+++++ work ILY💖)

you want me to write the monster porn, just say it bby ghfjdkshgfjkd but ty

Omfg that fic was so good!

Did the readers mom know about monster kuroo?? Or was she just worried because of the previous murder? And did Kuroo somehow manipulate reader into coming back to the forest or was it just a big coincidence? (👁👄👁 there's no such thing as a coincidence)

Looking forward to your future work <3

ty nonnie!! i didn’t have the right space for it, but after kohsuke was ripped apart and eaten kuroo stayed by the reader’s side until late in the night, only disappearing when he heard the reader’s parents/search party approaching. they found her lying in pools of blood (and scattered half eaten body parts), shaking and unresponsive – they knew no animal could’ve done something like that. so they knew something lurked in those woods, but considering the reader had repressed the memories, her mom couldn’t just come out and say it <33

You are an AMAZING horror writer!!!

The uneasiness I got from the conversations with the mom is just *chefs kiss*

A+++++

ahh thank you!! horror is such a hard genre to write because i’m never sure if the suspense and everything’s gonna hit right haha

I read Nostos before going to sleep last night and at the time I was like “sure hope this doesn’t give me nightmares” and thankfully it didn’t lol. But I think I’m willing to take that chance again because it’s so GOOD and I think I’m just going to have to relive it – @ohno-otome

fhdjgbfhjkdfn i’m glad it didn’t give you nightmares bby!! but i also appreciate that haha, i’m an absolute wimp with scary movies and stuff but i just can’t stop watching them haha

I just wanna say that I was listening to "You're a psychotic villain playlist" on youtube while reading Kuroo's oneshot and I can't explain the emotions I felt, but I'd let Kuroo do things to me asdfghjkl – @itishebihime-samaforyou

ooh nice! sometimes the right playlist makes things doubly as fun haha

OH MY GOD!?!?! Nostos was soooo GOOD?!?!? Like it was so creepy (but in a good way), and scary and suspenseful!! And the ending!?!? Omggg honestly one my fav fics from you!! You did my mans Kuroo justice 🥺💖💕

TYYYYYYY i was genuinely concerned i was gonna scare everybody off haha

Ah! The new fic! Chiefs kiss! Magnificent! Bravo!🧚‍♀️✨🧞‍♀️🦖🦭🌹💫

tysm nonnie!!! <33

i’m pretty sure i’m in the same/similar timezone as you? and i do be staying up late to be one of the first to read your fics (i usually stay up late anyways). so imagine my surprise when i see you post in the afternoon. in conclusion, whether you post to align with your european and american readers’ timezone, my gmt+10 arse will still be one of the first to read your fics. also nostos sjdufigyyjf i have to admit, i recently just found out about monster fucking and nostos scratched the itch😫 i feel bad for kohsuke though

bby i always post at like 2-4 in the morning please get some sleep!! the fics will be there in the morning lmao. i kinda low key forget about my aussie/gmt+10 followers because i think there’s like... 3 of you haha

Honestly if i could give u a dollar everytime i got off to your fics, you'd probably be rich by now

lmao the idea that people find my fics hot enough to get off to still blows my mind lol

your newest kuroo fic was so SO good!! its totally okay if you dont want to answer this so you can keep things ambiguous but is monster kuroo planning on killing the reader after he's...done with them

thank you, bby!! but no, monster kuroo isn’t gonna eat her – he’s had plenty of chances to do that if that’s what he wanted, but he has other plans for the poor reader

RHI, I WANT TO STATE FOR THE RECORD THAT I AM OKAY WITH MORE MONSTER FUCKING IN THE FUTURE. i also want to say im not a monster fucker, but that just feels like a lie at this point. okay, now that that's off my chest, i love it. the mystery, the connections of kuroo to a cat. kuroo's probably gonna go and batter around his prey once they're under his grip like my cat does. hopefully the reader will come out somewhat unscathed, if they are ever allowed to leave 😌 love this, love how different it is, the way kuroo just tries to weasel in. very monster and yandere vibes, very you. have i said i love this yet?? id willingly let him get me drunk on his cock, maybe never leave the peace of the mountains again

‘i want to say that i’m not a monster fucker’ bby the denial will get you nowhere haha. just lean in and embrace it hgfjkdlkfgjnkdl ahh but thank you this is such a sweet ask ILY!!!

Omg omg the monster thing kuroo was in ur latest fic is so familiar to me abdhdmfnjfjf. I remember being told abt a monster with VERY SIMILAR characteristics to it (aka the not being able to go inside a house unless invited and using fire to lure ppl out) AND JFC IT TERRIFIED ME. Esp how when i told ppl around me and they didnt recognize what it was, but it was somehow known to the kid that told me abt it.

(Some ppl thought it was familiar but still didnt know what it was)

Do u know what im talking abt? Hopefully u do

-🥚

GHFJDK so the monster in this is kind of based off the nekomata spirit in japanese folklore - they can appear like people, torment victims by reanimating the corpses of their loved ones, they’ve been blamed for forest fires, so it was just fun to use that as a basis and then go buck wild haha. anyway thanks for the ask bby!

Rest In Peace Kohsuke, you would’ve loved Haikyuu season 5😔✊– @joyvstheworld

poor kohsuke deserved better, i’m just mean to the oc’s i throw into fics haha

Monsterfucking ❤❤❤❤❤❤ a little annoyed you're making me simp for yan Kuroo though (a vibe tho tbh). You're so extremely talented!!!! &

This is probably a stupid question, but how did Kageyama react when he couldn't find y/n? How is life with yan Suga? I imagine probably awful BUT yknow maybe the stockholm syndrome set in fast lmao. Sorry, I'm going on a binge reading your stuff. - @oracleofdin

i will not apologise for making you simp for kuroo he deserves it the man’s a snacc. and as far as your second question, suga’s a very caring, very smothering kinda yandere, so i guess in some ways it’s better than what the reader had with kageyama but... pick your poison haha

That was so good. I’m so shook rn I can’t comprehend anything but how good that was and how good a writer you are

TYSM NONNIE!!! <33

Ok, so, I just read Final Girl and the lil' ticket addition to it and just---

Well, ok I've been playing Dead by Daylight a lot lately? And I'm just picturing Tetsu as the newest killer "The Trickster" and I'm positively RANDY.

Your writing is ALREADY thirst inducing and just as satisfying, but this has SENT ME- If you're not familiar, please...

https://youtu.be/iowkiPobYYQ

Understand my thirst. (I'd also like to clarify, I use a different skin for him that gives him black hair and he looks like Kuroo with an undercut.)

~ @the-casual-hedonist 🌸

i love how feral y’all got for final girl kuroo. like bo and akaashi had his fans, but i put a spiked bat in kuroo’s hands and y’all lost your goddamn minds and i love to see it. fghdjkvhfjdkls thanks for the ask bby

idk why but I love preggo reader as long as I don't pretend it's me 😢✋ I hate babies n pregnancy anywhere else other than horny haikyuu fics

i think that’s a valid thing for a lot of fans. the idea of breeding is sexy, the actual getting pregnant and having a kid thing... not so much. but especially with non-con scenario’s, it’s more about the aspect on control than the actual desire to have kids. but yeah, i feel you

Sorry to bother but uh was just wondering in fracture did Osamu kill his wife or was it actually an “unfortunate event” ? Love your work btw!!

he most certainly did :))

LMFAO RHI i totally get not liking cheating/infidelity fics (towards reader) bc IT HIRTS ME SO BAD I CANNOT HANDLE THOSE.

id be reading fics those fics like: tf you mean my yandere aimt gonna baby me and only want me??🤨🤨🤨⁉️‼️

EXACTLY! listen i get that it’s a fucked up fantasy, but in my fucked up fantasy you damn well better have the decency to be loyal smh

Finders keepers is the most beautiful thing I've read by you: I read it twice like I normally do and here's what I figured out the second time (that's when I analyze it and find the little tidbits of things that are much darker than they appear (: )

To start I LOVE THE DETAILS OF THEM NEVER TEACHING READER ANYTHING- at first I assumed "oh they might see her as a little sister or child or something" but realized thAT WAS THE ISSUE!! they infantilize her and isolate her from everyone but her group. the small details like that are what make the story amazing 😎💅

ahh thank you so much, nonnie!! pls this is making me soft 🥺

I just wanted to stop by and say that I love your writing and I hope you're doing well!!! Drink plenty of water and keep up the amazing work :) but seriously you're one of the best fanfic writers I've seen on tumblr! I read your "Imitation" piece about kuroo and i keep coming back to it, it's so good! I did want to ask if you think it'd be possible for the reader to ever escape with the baby (or at least attempt to). Or if Kenma would "help" at all just to put an end to kuroo's antics lmao

kenma would in no way help the reader, and tbh by that point if kuroo did get her pregnant, she’d be far too emotionally dependant on him to actually even want to leave, but thanks for the ask!

You know who I think would be a perfect Yandere in the JJK world? Choso.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

After being locked in a glass jar for however long he was, and all that happened with his brothers, I feel like he would absolutely never let his darling out of his sight. He would be possessive. Obsessive. And Oh So delusional. Sure he’d be your anything - he truly is a softy - but to what end?🤤

choso would make an excellent yandere, ngl 😌

what au/troupe of your fav character(s) that you have written do you like the most?

(rlly hope this makes sense🙏)

i am always a slut for soulmate au’s :))

[undergrounddweller89]

More random thoughts on if Killian and Walter lived together some time after movie events, still au and ooc and Killian is I dunno how to describe it in love a little obsessed secretly with Walter and this is one ramble where there's no admittance of love between them as It's a time prior to that, anyway I throw sense out the window I'm literally too tired to get everything right and wrote this on the spot so bleh on mistakes and stuff.

Killian was rifling through his draws, where was it, he'd wanted to wear it last night for bed, he was sure it'd been put back, he sighed wearily, maybe it was at the bottom of the wash basket still.

He went down the stairs for breakfast where Walter was munching on toast, Lovey on his shoulder.

Watching tv, amazing really, especially as Beckett was usually jotting some new idea down.

Aaaand then he saw it.

"Walter."

Killian's voice was a soft growl as he quirked a brow and folded his arms.

Walter looked up at him like a guilty puppy who knew he'd done something wrong but hoped the look would let him get away with it.

"Yes, Killian?"

He asked trying to sound innocent as possible.

"I was looking for that shirt last night, care to tell me how it ended up on you?"

Walter looked at Lovey and then at Killian

"Ummm well it was in my drawer, I dunno it just looked really comfy and...I'm sorry I won't borrow your clothes anymore..."

"Borrowing would imply that you asked for them, you Beckett are a certified low grade criminal...stealing a man's clothes could imply something else though, I expect that shirt back tonight."

Killian returned walking past the couch and going to the kitchen, it was sweet Walter had rearranged the room so he could actually have surfaces to make himself meals and the likes.

The first time he'd arrived he'd been more than expecting to not feel welcomed, sure it was Beckett but people could seem one way out in the world and another behind closed doors.

No, Beckett wore his heart on his sleeve and for a while he'd wanted to place his claws around it and watch that sunshine attitude leave him as he realised the world was not a little wonderland that could be made better with a hug.

Then again, it was a hug that saved him so to speak...irony.

Killian though at this point might have just gone crazy if Walter wasn't so naturally affectionate with people he trusted, why he trusted him was still beyond his understanding but here they were, living in what had always been Walters home since childhood...

Walter's natural ability to be affectionate meant he could get away with ruffling his hair, having Beckett leaning on him during a movie and just casually placing an arm around him.

Sometimes Beckett would just sit on his lap like it was completely normal and Killian had tested the boundaries by placing a chin on his shoulder and Walter had, had no reaction like this was just typical interaction...was it so typical that he just would also let him put his arms around him to and nuzzle his neck...

Then again he might have lied a little and just said he had an itchy nose when that happened.

Of course he'd have murdered anyone else who dared to sit on his lap, just because he was behaving here didnt mean he wouldn't still straight up murder someone if he thought he could get away with it.

Lance had tried sitting on his lap once as a joke, Killian recalled letting out a literal growl, he'd even been somewhat surprised at the near primal sound, Sterling of course never tried that again.

He made his morning coffee, thankful that Walter also knew not to talk too much until he'd had it.

He walked back in and found Walter ass up in the air and nearly spat his coffee, he hadn't seen it before as his shirt had been covering it, not only was wearing his shirt but his boxers to.

Beckett who had been reaching for a magazine under the side table hit his head when he heard the sharp tone in Killian's voice

"Beckett!"

Killian winced slightly, even he felt that thud.

Walter sat up holding a hand to his head

"Yes Killian?"

"Nothing, just wanted to see if I could startle you, seems like it."

He decided not to chew him out, because perhaps he liked that he was wearing them.

Killian sat in the arm chair and put a leg over the other, hiding the subtle interest that showed his body agreed with that statement.

"You're evil."

Walter pouted rubbing his head.

"Hmm perhaps but you already knew that when you let the big bad wolf into your home, little red."

Walter was about to argue but...eh fair point.

"Still mean."

"You like it Beckett or you'd have given me your puppy eyes by now."

Killian sipped his coffee and sighed contentedly, god coffee made existence just a little easier and some days he swore he'd marry whoever made it.

He sat there half watching what was on the tv, one of Walters soap opera's which he would die before admitting he actually was invested in it.

"I swear Walter, if you were bigger than a tooth pick I would steal your clothing though I might wager I could just about put that yellow jumper over my arm."

Walter looked him over and shrugged

"Wouldn't mind if you did, I have a pair of baggy Unitee pants that might fit you though they might ride up to your knees considering our height differences."

Killian's eye twitched as he grumbled

"Id sooner be dead."

Though he was never going to admit he might have been a creep one time after Walter had slept in them and done something involving his hand just because he knew Walters cock had been right there, they'd still been warm.

Killian half buried his face into his coffee mug hoping that Walters comment hadn't been one hinting that he knew what sordid thing he'd done.

"Also not my colour Beckett."

Was all he responded.

Walter shrugged and went back to his show, flicking through his magazine, Lovey was nesting in Walters hair and glaring at Killian, oh she knew, she knew what he was doing, her look though was not one that told him to stop it.

No it was one that said HURT MY BABY I'LL PECK OUT YOUR GOOD EYE.

Killian's cheeks puffed out as he exhaled, sheesh who knew a pigeon could scream murder louder than him with just a stare.

Later that night Walter showered before bed, returned the shirt back to Killian who went back to his room, the boxers placed in the basket just under a few things prior to said shower, the basket was usually left out on the landing.

After his shower and wrapped in towels Walter had been wondering something, for a while now.

He quietly looked where he'd placed the boxers he'd worn that day in the basket... Uh-huh, just as he'd expected, they were gone, he couldn't help but smirk, oh Killian thought he was being sooooo sneaky.

Heh, no, he wasn't as quiet as he thought he was either, he could hear the subtle creak in there and soft whine no doubt into a pillow... Or biting his fist, honestly if he had metal claw he'd definitely handle himself with it to.

The first time this had happened it'd been a surprise, now it was just enticing to see how long it was before Killian would break and climb into his bed and plead for him.

Oh Walter might seem naive to the world in so, so many ways but there were somethings he was not so ignorant on either, he could walk right in there and offer a helping hand but for the time being it was far more pleasurable to hear the quite whines and play pretend Killian was begging for him, on his knees a desperate man who desired to the point of pain.

After all who didn't want someone to pursue and crave them like that.

He dried off and climbed into his own bed smiling.

Especially when the feeling was apparently mutual.

(I don't tend to go deep on my stuff I guess, what you get is what you get.)

[deathofamemer]

newmann! bennet! dangerstrong! dangercop! danger... strong... cop? ngu/ira

we out here!!! shit’s going under a readmore bc it’ll get long

edit: READMORES ARENT WORKING, GUESS YOU GET MY SHIT STRAIGHT UP,

newmann:

who wakes up first in the morning: hermann. he’s an early riser!

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: also hermann, but they tend to have late nights most of the time due to their work

what they playfully tease each other over: literally EVERYTHING. bickering is an artform for these two

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: when herm’s having a rough day, newt tries to cheer him up with jokes and his favorite tea, while hermann tends to be a little more affectionate when newt’s going through a rough time and will give him soft sweet affection

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: they bicker enough that THOSE dont usually require an apology, but for really serious fights, they both refuse to admit they’re in the wrong, so things tend to get bad for a bit and they separate and go into the silent treatment until things slowly ease back to normal with small gestures of affection

which one’s more ticklish: hermann is, but he HATES being tickled

their favourite rainy day activities: relaxing indoors together, just reading or watching a movie and enjoying each other’s company

how they surprise each other: hermann tends to act quietly but he listens really well, so he’ll give newt things he’s mentioned wanting if it’s within reason, while newt likes whisking hermann away for new experiences and nice dinners and just surprising him with sudden affection

their most sickening shows of public affection: hermann is very much against pda, most of their affection is in private, but literally everyone who watches them bicker knows that its their way of flirting

bennet:

who wakes up first in the morning: emmet does! benny doesn’t sleep.

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: benny doesn’t sleep.

what they playfully tease each other over: they’re generally more soft boys than anything else, but emmet likes to tease benny by flustering him with affection and benny does the same with spiderman kisses

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: they fuckin SNUGGLE

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: they don’t really argue much! they’re a stable relationship

which one’s more ticklish: emmet, and he is giggly

their favourite rainy day activities: staying inside, working on a building project together for fun

how they surprise each other: emmet loves to surprise benny with affection, and they both give each other stuff for their respective fixations bc they’re always thinking about each other

their most sickening shows of public affection: all of them, they’re soft and sweet and sappy

dangerstrong:

who wakes up first in the morning: rex does! he’s always been an early riser. but really, neither sleeps that much

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: they both stay up stupid late

what they playfully tease each other over: they’re the only ones allowed to rib each other about who they used to be, because they understand what’s allowed and what’s a genuine sore spot.

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: usually kinda quietly soothing each other or doing something that’ll take the other’s mind off of it. just casual jokes and stuff to lighten the other’s mood

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: they don’t argue a lot after the first few loops! they get along really fucking well and know when to not rock the boat, but their apologies tend to be by showing genuine vulnerability and honesty, because both are rare for them

which one’s more ticklish: rex. tickle him and you die

their favourite rainy day activities: it doesn’t rain in space, but they’ll chill doing ‘badass practice’ (movie nights) or playing a game or something. rex is a fucking god at jenga

how they surprise each other: rex isn’t easily surprised because of his whole future sight deal, but cosmo’s a wild card with affection so it absolutely kills rex every time! rex likes to take cosmo to cool places he’s seen in his various travels and just watch as cosmo fails to keep his cool and his eyes light up

their most sickening shows of public affection: when they make out ‘as bros’. they’re so fucking STUPID

dangercop (i assume you mean rexcop):

who wakes up first in the morning: rex does! he’s got a schedule to keep.

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: cop boy. rex’s sleep schedule... could be healthier

what they playfully tease each other over: rex teases dane over being soft and danny over cute shit he does, the cops tease rex over his softer moments too

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: rex offers to spar with dane to let his anger out and will be a little gentler with danny, danny’s a sweet comforting boy to rex and dane will just kinda quietly sit with rex in solidarity bc he’s not good at this kind of thing

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: rex doesn’t DO apologies, so he’ll just quietly give them something they like, and dane’s similar. danny can actually do verbal apologies because he’s healthier.

which one’s more ticklish: danny’s the ticklish one! dane is too, but his poker face means you’d never know it

their favourite rainy day activities: baking! or just chilling watching a movie

how they surprise each other: rex likes to do big showy gestures, while any kind of affection just leaves rex as a mess.

their most sickening shows of public affection: danny does soft stuff, rex and dane get more... heated

whatever the fuck you call rex/cosmo/powers:

who wakes up first in the morning: rex.

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: powers, but these three dont sleep much

what they playfully tease each other over: dont tease powers you’ll die; but the same kind of stuff that rex and cosmo tease each other over but All Three

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: these three are constantly having a bad day, but the difference that powers adds to the equation is that red can be legit sweet and blue has no fucking idea how to comfort anyone

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: apologies? from THESE THREE? no. there’s only quiet gestures and occasional vulnerability as a half apology

which one’s more ticklish: rex and powers are but if you do it you get your head knocked off your shoulders

their favourite rainy day activities: they chill and relax and nap together, it’s a rare sweet moment of peace

how they surprise each other: red is pretty affectionate, actually! so there’s that, in addition to the normal dangerstrong stuff. blue will give rough affection and then pretend it didnt happen, it makes rex melt.

their most sickening shows of public affection: makeouts makeouts its rough and GAY

ngu/ira:

who wakes up first in the morning: ira! it’s a holdover from his military days

who’s the first to fall asleep at night: ngu, because he falls asleep in ira’s hold. it’s soft, lads.

what they playfully tease each other over: their mutual Thing-y stuff, once shit’s less viscerally terrifying. ira teases ngu over his horrific ties, ngu teases ira over his awful impish streak

what they do when the other’s having a bad day: ira tends to ground ngu in reality and hold him and give him affection and facts until ngu’s settled. ira has fewer bad days because of his basic reaction to Bad Stuff, but when he’s really going through it, ngu can distract him with affection and shit. ira loves listening to ngu talk and these two feel really safe with each other

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments: they both take some time to calm down and talk it through, and then they just spend quiet time in each other’s company

which one’s more ticklish: i like to think ngu is

their favourite rainy day activities: vidya games and cuddles

how they surprise each other: just by doing little things for each other! ira likes surprising his loved ones with gifts even though he’s always had pretty humble means

their most sickening shows of public affection: weird thing-y snuggles

[tumblunni]

Baron omatsuri and the secret island traumatizes me yet again, hooray!

Ok wow that was a nostalgia blast! Finally goddamn have a physical copy of this thing to own. Its never been dubbed and the only way to get it was this weird manga UK licensed reprint of a bunch of (i think) hong kong english subtitles. The style of the subtitles looks like that, at least. Its all weird and grainy and very very old fashioned early days of subtitling style, which contrasts completely with the modern dvd menus and box and stuff. And its also a weird combination disc of four different movies, it seems they just bought out a licensing package deal or something? And just baked it onto the disc without checking or editing anything. Its not really a funny sort of bad subtitles though, its just awkward phrasings of thibgs that are hard to understand or random typos or whatever, no legendarily hilarious stuff. I kinda dislike it more when subtitles are like this, when theyre like...actually written by a guy who speaks fluent english but he just never watched the actual movie so theres a bunch of rookie mistakes. Also has a strange case of what you usually only see on fansubs- the obsession with leaving everything in japanese to Sound Cool. Nah we cant call them the Tea Party Pirates we have to say the japanese word for that. Nah we cant have this man say mustache when he's doing the mustache pose and talking about his crew of entirely mustache men who all do this mustache pose NO it has to be Chobehige because its somehow deep and edgy to not understand the word for mustache. Like i feel if i was watching this sub first i would have no idea what was happening! At least its not as bad as that older sub i saw where they insisted on translating friends as "crew", even when it was llike..a singular. This one man is my crew and here are all my other crews! Like i feel like that subber probably originally did that dumb old fandom thing of INSISTING that you had to say Nakama in japanese and Capitalized and it was a Very Important japanese word for specifically pirate friends that was Impossible To Translate. And then they just did a ctrl + F replace on the whole thing and made an incomprehensible mess. Also for some reason sanji just yells DOCTOR out of nowhere (chopper wasnt even in the scene) and baron omatsuri's one syllable "oh" is translated as some long string of what seems to be baseball jargon..?

But ANYWAY the movie is still fuckin awesome and i actually noticed EVEN MORE dark shit and subtle storytelling that i missed when i was a kid! The whole 'small child zombie stares blankly at the place where a sword stabbed through his chest and cant understand why he got back up' scene is EVEN MORE emotionally destructuve than i thought! Cos the subtlety of the voiceacting seems to make the poor kid sound so tired and resigned to it? He's desperately asking and his father figure feeds him the same old lies he's done a million times about how he's totally still alive and everything is fine. Like wow i missed that inplication that this has happened before! And then he kinda sounds like he's actually aware that Baron is lying and he's just pretending to believe him to make him feel better. And then he starts turning back into a corpse and he doesnt panic like muchigoro or not realize whats happening like the grandpas do. He just looks straight at his hand falling apart and tries to lie to Baron to make him feel better. *long shot of him from behind before you see whats happened* "I'm just feeling dizzy again. I've got used to it." *him staring blankly at his body falling apart, not even capable of feeling sad about it anymore* "Don't worry...i've got used to it." *thud*

Like FUCKING HELL this film is the best damn existential horror thing ever and why the FUCK did they market it as a fun happy kids film? it probably would have been way more successful if the twist wasnt kept all twisty, honestly.

And also WOW YEAH theres a lot of stuff thats the subtlest goddamn storytelling in the universe and youd never notice unless you watched this film a million times like i did! Like during the intro when everythibg still seems all fun and cute and normal, the advert for the Totally Innocent Not A Trap Super Secret Island Resort is being read over some random shots of waves and stuff. But then right near the end you see those same shots again and it becomes clear that it was literally the view from Baron's eyes as he was falling from the ship and drowning, desperately trying to keep his head above water and strain his eyes to see if anyone else had survived. All the moments that just looked like camera cuts were actually when his head fell beneath the waves. Thats fuckin amaizng you straight up showed the ending in the beginning and we didnt notice????

Oh and also right before THE FUCKIN TERRIFYING MUCHIGORO DEATH SCENE you see him casually mention being 'sleepy' a few scenes earlier. It just passes by without notice and you think that he's just drunk until he suddenly starts going from comedic slurring to fucking asphixiating and the SKIN ON HIS FINGERS PEELING OFF. Oh hey! Another thing i didnt notice before! FUCKING THAT. A fun game for you on your rewatch! Looking out to find the secret finger horror! Ha ha ha...ha...

Also MAN OH WOW all the subtle signs of Baron getting more desparate throughout the movie and how it seems the time limit for the zombies was almost up and he had to kill these specific pirates right now because he couldnt spare even a few more hours. In retrospect it makes sense how he was slipping up and leaving evidence for the heroes to figure him out. And its just so subtly offputting and strange how he goes from making a big fun performance about the festival early on and then starts subtky rushing through the formalities faster. Like you dont eveb conciously notice the tone is changing until suddenly BAM the full change happens and you realise you missed all those signs! And aaaa its so fuckin sad how you see him come running when muchigoro drops dead and he's like fuckin GET OUT OF THE WAY DAMMIT and kneels down next to the body and theb he just..turns emotionless again and goes ITS TIME FOR THE NEXT CHALLENGE. It is time. Its now. Shut the fuck up and do it, i dont have time to deal with this shit, just die so i can bring my friend back. (Tho of course you dont know thats why at the time) And then whats most jarring about the whole scene to me is how he's like "okay fuck it theres no more fun theres no more attractions, if youre not gonna play along then the final game is just i shoot your damn head off" WHILE YKNOW STILL STANDING OVER THE CORPSE OF HIS FRIEND AND STARING DAGGERS INTO THEM LIKE ITS THEIR FAULT FOR DARING TO CLING ONTO LIFE and then a fuckin half finished hapoy fun carnival game sign pops up in the backgroubd and everyone walks past it. Why was that somehow both hilarious and terrifying????? Just fuckin 'whoops we had this thing ready to go but alright its murder time i guess' and everyone IS SUDDENLY PACKING HEAT AND RIDDLING OUR HEROES WITH BULLETS???

And also even more subtly Baron just?? Stays with muchigoro?? Like notice how the entirety of the endgame takes place around where the dude dropped dead. And how when mustache pirate guy saves luffy you see Baron just walking in circles around the same area angrily shooting arrows at nothing in complete desperation even though the dude is gone and itd make more sense to run after him. No he stays standing right there and actually looks really damn relieved when luffy comes back, he's like 'holy shit you really were stupid enough to walk right into my trap jesus christ im so glad but also youre a dumbass'. And he fights entirely using arrows at this point so you might not even notice that he barely walks more than just circling a two meter radius of fuckin DEAD BEST FRIEND CORPSE. Which btw blends intonthe shadows for this entire scene and they only draw attention it again after Baron wibs and muchigoro comes back to life. And UGH MY HEART you see him smile genuinely for the firstvtime and he's like 'im so glad youre okay' and muchigoro is like 'haha im more than okay i can do somersaults!' and generally being a FUCKING TREASURE and this poor fuckin horrible evil man is hugging his buddy and gently leading him away from the battlefield so he doesnt norice he was just fuckin murdering some dudes to ressurect him. God the scariest damn thing about this film is how the zombies dont know theyre zombies and honestky they probably wouldnt even agree with their boss's plan to kill people to keep them alive. They justvthink they live a perfectly normal happy life on hapoy festival island, and he wants them to stay that way and never feel pain again :(

Aaaaand then yeah the infamous scene of revealing this horrifying intestines flower is growing out of the flesh on his back and all the corpses its digesting are pushed against the undulating flesh of its throat like a snake devouring its prey. And its cutesy fake flower face grows infinate eyes as it just keeps laughing and laughing. And then it gets graphically blown apart and the poor goddamn parasite host tries to shove the bloody instestines back into its body, knowing that without this horrifying monster chewing on his goddamn veins all his friends will go back to being dead.

THE END

THE FUCKING END

God it ends so abruptly seriously

I still cry my eyes out every time at the ending monologue of Baron dying and meeting all the souls of his dead friends and theyre crying telling him he shouldnt be here, they wish he'd been able to find another reason to live without him...

And then THE END

JAUNTY MUSIC OVER THE CREDITS

THE FUCKIN END I GUESS

What a great but very oddly executed movie. Seriously i feel it could have worked better if it was given space to breathe and more deeply explore the dark themes rather than the weirdness of trying to fool the audience into thinking it was cheerful and innocent. Like all of this shit happens in the last 30 minutes of the movie! They spend 60 minutes on the fun carnival games! What a strange sense of priorities!!

I WOULD DEVOUR A MILLION HOURS MORE OF DEEP SAD ZOMBIE CONTENT

I am like the Lily of fanfics

Oh yeah btw the horrifying deadly elder god spine parasite thing is named Lily and it looks pretty much exactly like flowey from undertale. This film kinda spoiled me for that game LOL ive never trusted a single talking flower ever since!

[isaiahsky]

Here's a true story of how two bestfriends, a boy from the East Coast, and a girl from the West Coast, ultimately ended their relationship, because one fell in love with the other. Enjoy. Her name is Lindsey. We met eachother years ago in Shreveport Louisiana. Every day we grew increasingly close to eachother, became bestfriends, and evetually shit got real and we started fooling around, assuming the title "Bestfriends (with benefits)". Details of how we moved to diferent sides of the map are irrelevant, thats a totally diferent story I can provide upon request. Lindsey and I remained very close ever since we separated, even on occasion flying to the other person's city for a visit. We'd book a hotel, toss up the DO NOT DISTURB sign, have incredible dirty sex all over the room, be as loud as we wanted, and let the unfortunate housekeeper worry about the mess when we went out drinking and shopping. We had always crushed on eachother, never at the same time, which is why we never dated. So instead of being frustrated about that predicament, we just fucked we got over it. Around April of 2017, to prevent things from becoming complicated, we came to a mutual agreement to just be friends, no more emotions, no more sex, just friends. It was hard at first, but after several sessions of masturbation a week, i managed to somewhat tame the sexual urges, and disarm the nuclear warhead of sexual frustration in my pants, AKA my penis. Long story short I dealt with the drought, but i digress. In August of 2017, Lindsey made plans to fly to Tampa to see her grandparents for 2 weeks. I lived in Destin at the time so it was 7 or 8 hours away from where I stayed. She asked me to take a few days off to go see her, and ofcourse I did. We were both in a budget, so we made agreed to be simple and made arrangements to just hang out in my hotel room, watch movies, have some drinks, snacks, and catch up, etc. So as planned, towards the end of her trip, I went down there and spent three days with her. Day one, I pick her up from her grandparents' house in the suburbs, take her to my place 10 minutes away, and show her my room. 5 minutes into the evening she decides to start groping me, leading me on, giving me signs that she wants me to fuck her like a rabbit on Methamphetamines. This presents a problem for me. We had a conversation prior to this little vacation about just being platonic, which she is obviously disregarding. What she failed to understand at that moment was, I had made every effort to move on, and get over any feelings I had for her. And I did so successfully. So when presented with hot familiar pussy that Id been craving months before, I was absolutely uninterested for that reason, but also for one more unobvious reason. Small, probably predictable plot twist, I met a girl in mid July named Kelly. Let me be clear, I tell Lindsey almost everything about my life. Everyone has their secrets, but ive always been honest with her. So prior to my trip to Tampa just to keep her informed, I told her about Kelly one day. "Hey, I met this girl, blah blah blah, I dont think it will go anywhere really but, I really like her." She was jealous initially ofcourse, it was to be expected, but we talked it all out and she handled it well and everything was great. Lets get back to the situation in Tampa to see her. Shes groping me and flriting, even straddles me, fishing for me to kiss her and initiate some sticky foreplay. Its slightly awkward for me, because im not very experienced in the rejection department when it comes to getting my dick wet. Im not the prettiest guy in the world, so when a cute girl throws herself at you, you better pull out the fucking catchers gear. I didnt know how to go by letting her down without hurting her feelings, so i just kind of avoided the subject of sex. So when she tried something i just kind of brushed it off and giggled, or joked about about something random. For the most part she caught on with the message, and it was fine at first. But from her behavior, and the more and more she tried to make advances, the more aparent it became that she was actually still interested in me for more than just sex. It doesnt make sense now, but day two I confirmed my theory when she started getting emotional. She randomly started crying and asking me why i wont touch her, or be sweet with her like I used to be. I explained that nothing was wrong with her, its just not what i wanted anymore. After trying to talk her down the entire day, my answers weren't good enough. She was convinced she was doing something wrong, she became really frustrated with herself, and at this moment i am completely unaware to how to help. Eventually I started getting annoyed. She began doing shit that kind of freaked me out. For brief example; we would be relaxing watching a movie, im trying to ignore the bad vibes and help her have some fun. Something funny in the movie would happen, id laugh, look at her to see if SHES laughing, and shed be staring at me with tears on her face trying not to cry. Multiple occassions this occurred. And its fucking awkward. Maybe I was being insensitive, I get it, shes sad, but we both spent money to be there together and i wanted to make the best of it. Fast forward to the 3rd and final day together. We day drink from the morning until maybe 7pm. The advances and emotions persist. The entire afternoon she was severely bipolar, which i expected this but its okay i just want to relax and be drunk. She cried and cried, and then the next few minutes shed be really happy again and dancing, whatever. The entire time I know whats really bothering me, but im too afraid to tell Lindsey how I feel right now. So i hold my tongue and pretend to be okay. I know she remembers i like Kelly, because she kept referencing her. Asking how she was doing, or shed crack jokes about her when i spoke of her. Classic jealousy, completely obvious. Fast forward to around 7 or 8pm of the evening together. We finish day drinking, somewhat sober up, and track down a Texas Roadhouse. We get to our table, order a drink or two, and have a casual conversation while reflecting on the past couple of days. We have an honest conversation about our feelings: "What are we?" "Can we ever truly just be friends?" "Let me tell you what I think." And overall just communicating as friends about the future, and how we can fix this shit hole situation. Finally we actually had a good time together, and it was mutual. It sank in that i was just not interested in her like I used to be, and that we would truly never be together. She still let out a few tears, but like a man i comforted, and we overall enjoyed our last meal together in the same state. Fast forward to the parking lot after dinner, where shit hits the fan. Its relatively empty. I go to the passenger side of my car, open the door for her so she can get in, but we are still engaged in our heart to heart conversation so we end up loitering for awhile. I light up a cigarette, lean back against the car, and she wraps her arms around my torso and just kind of rests there, head on my chest. Ive got one arm around her and one arm free smoking my cigarette. Boom, imagery. We stay like this for a long time as i chain smoke a few cigs, just talking, and finally the conversation somehow shifts to me denying her any sex/affection/intimacy, whatever. This time its okay because she is calm, shes being understanding with every potential controversal thing i have told her over dinner. I believe she can handle this converstaion. She asked me for total honesty, she could tell there was something i didnt want to say to her and it was important she knew what was diferent. She knows i like Kate, but im still a single man, so why am i being so distant with her physically, than i have been in the past. THIS IS WHERE I REALIZE THAT BLUNT HONESTY IS NOT OKAY WHEN ADDRESSING A JEALOUS GIRL WHO IS IN LOVE WITH YOU. I wasn't mean at all, i very calmly and respectively told her exactly what the reason was. I sighed deeply and said "I cant do anything with you, and ive been distant, because all i can think about is Kelly." This may be an outdated reference, but in maybe 1 second, she went from my sweet, calm, understanding bestfriend, to full blown going Jersey Shore on me. She started screaming at me, telling me that she cant believe this, etc etc. Telling me how every time she tried to move on and be with other people, she always felt guilty and cried because even though we werent together, she felt she was cheating on me. And here i am doing the same thing, but im thinking of Kelly, not her. So she put everything i ever did for her in question. Was it truly sincere? Did i ever really care about her? The whole fucking works. During all of this she is sitting on the concrete indian style just ranting relentlessly, and she procedes to get comfortable. I KNOW she plans to dig in for a decent duration because everything that was in her pockets, one by one she starts slamming it on the concrete around her, all in all making a statement to the world that says "fuck everyone and everything." Im a stubborn bastard, so from the time she started flipping out on me, to the time we finally get in the car and leave, like a man, i was still propped up against my car smoking, letting her lay into me with her insults, and ridiculous questions. All i did was stare straight ahead fed up. And I ignored her. She was pissed at me for the obvious reasons, i was pissed at her for freaking out, when all i wanted was to be honest with her. We are adults, let alone we werent even dating, id barely expect this reaction from a distraught girlfriend. But i get it, im the guy, i played with her emotions, now im getting burnt. We finally get in the car, maybe 11p, not once did i say a word to her throughout the whole car ride. At this point im ready to drop her ass back to her grandparents' house so i can check out half a day early from my hotel and drive back to west florida THAT NIGHT. Thats how pissed i am. Im still tipsy, exhausted, but the only thing i want to do is take an 8 hour trip back to my personal bed and sleep all day. But i cant take her to her grandparents' place, she still has some personal belonging in my room. We get back to the room, she climbs in my bed and pouts until she falls asleep. IN MY BED. So what do i do? Ofcourse I refuse to get in bed with her. So after 5 hours of debating on packing up all of her shit for her, waking her up, and taking her home, just like my entire highschool career, i sat at the desk, laid my head down on the table and went to sleep. Woke up that morning at 11, checked out at noon, took her home, still not one word was said to eachother by the way. The first and final words she said to me was "okay drive safe" no goodbye hug, no apologies from either sides, no attempt to fix the situation. She walked past me, i got in my car, backed out of her grandfathers driveway, we looked at eachother one last time, and i drove away. To this day, we still don't speak, the end of a relationship with a girl ive know for a fifth of my life. Love will make you do dumb shit for reasons you cant comprehend. But be careful when you go to tell people how you feel about them. It can really play with their heads and you can lose someone dear to you in the future because you dont know how to keep your mouth shut. Lindsey if you see this, im so sorry.