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i-did · 4 years

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hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go:

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight.

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc.

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn.

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair.

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves.

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them.

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn.

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums.

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one.

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation.

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so.

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene.

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read.

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t.

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive.

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol.

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else.

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.

#aftg #ask #fandom psychology #fandom culture #osha violation #mailob

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everychriseigemancharacter · 3 years

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Garrett Yates. CSI: Miami (2009)

In a show where no cast member has any screen presence or acting ability, Chris Eigeman is a fucking breath of fresh air as Garrett Yates, the sleazy actuary/casual murderer.

It just seems like he had a good time on set, which can’t really be said for most of his one-off TV appearances. Despite the premise of the episode being that the CEO and the insurance company are in cahoots to sneakily kill employees to collect the life insurance money, we see Garrett actually murder a girl himself, which is the opposite of sneaky. He’s got a big doofy grin on his face while he does it. I get that this is Florida, but don’t they have hit men to do the dirty work for them? I also find it hilarious that he appears to be wearing a tuxedo in every scene he’s in despite the investigation taking at least a few days and not having been at the function at the top of the episode.

I suppose in following the rules of this list, I shouldn’t rank him very high, but I want to. Based on charisma and appearance alone, this guy fuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. But he’s also a creep/murderer/corporate sleazeball.

Ranking: 2. This guy offers up some primo peen all at the low, low price of you ending up strangled to death.

#csi miami

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fairie-gothmother · 4 years

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In The Shadow of Starlight, Part 6: Gut Instincts

First part: The Fall

Previous: The Sheep Will Flock

How long had it been? Days, weeks? Troy lost track of time while he’d been slowly starving to death. Since his excommunication, each moment blurred into the next as whatever he possessed of the leech power fed off of his own body. Finally, he had some relief. He couldn’t help but be grateful for the scientist’s carelessness during the lab experiments. That was the first time he’d taken from any siren apart from his twin. It felt very different. This energy was more restless than he was used to. Maybe this what Ty meant by saying she could taste what she leeched.

Now that Troy had some extra juice, he felt incredible. Even after Lilith dumped him in Sanctuary’s garage on the bottom deck, he was amped. And what did Troy do when he was hyped up and left to his own devices? He beatboxed. The Calypso bobbed his head and swayed to the groove, bustling around the room and inspecting the equipment. He had to admit, it wasn’t a bad setup. He knew everyone was talking about him, probably deciding where to eject him into space, but he wished they’d hurry it up already.

He paused when a noise from nearby threw off his rhythm. A beep came again from a cluttered desk. With no regard to the desk owner’s privacy, he opened one of the drawers to find an Echo device inside. It was an older model, but obviously still in working condition. Troy glanced over his shoulder and scanned the room for cameras before putting the Echo on silent mode and slipping it into his pocket.

“Hey.”

Troy reeled around, startled from the voice and saw the blue haired siren descending the stairs into the workshop.

“Relax,” the sapphire siren said. She wiped the dust off a tool box and casually leaned against it. “Don't look so guilty. I, uh… Sorry for phase-chucking you across Tannis’s lab. You alright?”

Oh. He wasn't busted after all. Still, Troy couldn’t help but be suspicious. No way she cared to chat. Probably cared even less about hurting him. A golden canine glinted through his lopsided smile. “I did ask for it, didn’t I? But yeah, I’m good. No hard feelings, Meg.”

“It’s Maya,” she said, obviously annoyed. “Get it right next time. Okay, Trent?”

Excuse me? Troy furrowed his brow and glared at her. She wore a playful smirk and raised her eyebrows as if daring him to correct her. Interesting. She was messing with him.

“Alright then, Maya. Let’s hear it already,” he folded his arms across his chest. “Are you guys gonna launch me into the nearest sun? Or does the scientist want me as a lab rat for unethical tests? Whatever it is, please don’t tell me it’s life in prison. That’s boring. I deserve something creative.”

Maya shook her head. “Oh, no. You don’t get off that easy. You’re still helping us fight the COV.”

Troy cocked his to one side, analyzing the siren in a skeptical stare. As hard he looked for the smallest hint that she was full of shit, her body language suggested she was telling the truth. He huffed, “So what, no punishment then? I figured the Firehawk would want this handsome mug served on a silver platter.”

Maya gave a one shouldered shrug. “You said you didn’t leech Tannis on purpose. Sometimes powers are weird like that. With some training, you might be able to control it.”

Easy for her to say. If only it was as simple as meditating on a mountain to master his broken siren powers. “Ah, right. You’re from Athenas. I’m sure those monks taught you all about control and restraint, great power is great responsibility, blah-blah-blah. But it’s pretty safe to say that I’m a special case. Clearing my chakras isn’t gonna do it for me.”

“It would at least help with that attitude of yours.”

Troy began pacing and brought his flesh hand to his chin. “I don’t know. It wouldn’t be considered very zen if I accidentally ended up leeching you. Then again, you might taste like chamomile tea.” He cast a half-hearted sideways glance in Maya’s direction.

Maya rapidly drummed her fingernails on the tool box and said, “I take it back. I’m not sorry to phaselocking you.”

“That’s what I thought,” Troy snickered. “Be honest. How many times a day do you phaselock stuff just because you can?”

Maya closed her eyes and clasped her hands in front of her, mimicking a monk’s prayer pose. “I take a great amount of pride in my self discipline so if you must know-” She raised her left hand, and her fingers sparked. A ball peen hammer levitated from a workbench and hovered across the room into Maya’s hand. “I do it all the time.”

Troy scoffed. “Show off.”

The two were locked in a stare down. It wasn’t clear who cracked first, but neither of them could keep a straight face for long. A gentle blue glow emitted from Maya’s siren marks. Troy’s smile dropped as he looked down to his left hand, noting the harsh red light of his own marks.

“You really didn’t know that would happen to Tannis, did you?” the blue haired woman asked softly.

“No,” he answered honestly. “I’m still trying to get a grip on everything myself.” All his life he’d been broken. His parents treated him as a burden, although they never said it outright. He was constantly sick and needed extra help when he struggled with the use of only one arm. And Tyreen never considered him an equal. Even as one of the twin gods, he wasn’t seen in the same light as the God Queen. And now that he knew he possessed siren power without knowing it, his whole outlook was in question. What did it mean? What other parts of himself remained untapped?

Maya said, “Even if it’s only half, you’re still a siren. It’s not an easy life. Sirens have always been feared, hunted, extorted… worshipped.” Troy met her blue-gray eyes for a moment, then redirected his gaze to the wall. “We’re just trying to find our place.”

Troy’s heart skipped a beat. We?

“Yeah,” he said in a voice just above a whisper. He snapped out of it and quipped, “But, you gotta admit. Life would sure be a lot easier if I could phaselock grapes into my mouth all day.”

Maya scrunched up her face and flung an empty can at Troy, who reflexively caught it in his mechanical hand with a metallic clang. He waved it, shook his head, and grinned at her.

“Nice catch, wise-ass. Now, get in the drop pod,” Maya teased.

That tiny thing? Troy had used porta-potties with more legroom than that. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Troy groaned. The siren smiled wickedly as she held the hatch open and ushered him inside. He sighed knowing the ride back to Pandora would not be a comfortable one.

~~~

On a normal day, Ellie was a delight. Today was not a normal day considering her garage was used as solitary confinement for one of the most hated influencers in the galaxy. Maya recalled her saying, “He’s about as welcome as an outhouse breeze.” It took a while to convince the mechanic that her garage was just as she left it. Eventually, she cooled her boiling blood down to a simmer.

If Maya was being honest, she didn’t actually believe that Troy hadn’t messed with something. Call it a gut feeling. The same gut feeling that knew Ava would be a siren someday. The same gut feeling that told her to go talk to Troy just now. Her gut hadn’t lied to her yet so she didn’t question it. The ex-God King was absolutely still on thin ice, but she was willing to give him a chance. Maybe he just needed some guidance. Either that or he was a hopeless, cocky little shit.

Hydraulics hissed from the rising door as Maya entered the ship’s bridge. The orbital view of Pandora loomed outside the windows of Sanctuary’s observation deck. Crew members clacked away on keyboards at their posts. Lilith and Tannis stopped mid-conversation when they noticed Maya approaching.

“Troy’s on his way back to base,” Maya announced, slightly out of breath from rushing up three flights of stairs. “Cramer should be waiting for him when he lands. What did I miss?” she asked when she noticed neither of them would look her in the eye.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you about Tannis sooner. I decided the fewer people that knew about it, the better. These days, being a siren puts a target on your back,” Lilith apologized.

The revelation that the two of them were keeping Tannis’s siren powers a secret was shocking to say the least, but Maya wasn’t upset. She understood. Her own siren powers had been used by others to threaten an entire planet’s population. “I get it. I’m glad to have another siren on our side.” Maya smiled at the scientist, who awkwardly returned the gesture. It was cute when she made an effort.

“How are you, Tannis?” Maya asked.

“I'm fine. No need to fuss,” Tannis said. “It was actually interesting to experience the leech power first hand.”

Lilith knitted her brows. “Troy could have killed you. We still don’t know his intentions. Who knows what other abilities he’s hiding.”

Maya recalled the look of shock on Troy’s face while he held Tannis’s wrist, and the way he kept his distance from the two sirens afterwards as they processed what the hell just happened. After the conversation she’d just had with the Calypso, Maya felt the need to voice her opinion. “It seems like he doesn't understand his abilities either. I really don’t think he leeched Tannis on purpose.”

The commander was unconvinced. “Even if that’s true, we can’t underestimate what he’s capable of. This is still Troy Calypso.” Lilith stared out of the window at Pandora below. “For now, he’s useful to us. We’re going to need all the power we can get. It’s about time to make our move on the Holy Broadcast Center. There’s been a lot of activity lately. I’ve got a feeling something big is about to go down.”

Claptrap’s eardrum piercing voice called from the command console, “Incoming transmission!”

Speak of the devil. Maya’s heart sank as Tyreen’s smug face appeared on the overhead monitors. She was beginning to wonder if the COV had tapped their coms. Their timing was unusually coincidental.

“Hey, Lil!” the cult leader said in a singsong voice. “How’s life been as a non-siren normie human? Does it suck? I bet it sucks. Not gonna lie, these powers of yours are pretty sweet.” Lilith was seething. Tyreen had a knack for getting under her skin. The Calypso continued, “But hey, you don’t have to take my word for it. You know someone who knows all about my Firehawk upgrade. Just ask my brother.”

Damn. Word had finally reached her. Now Tyreen knew the Crimson Raiders were harboring her disowned twin.

“By the way, did that traitorous freak happen to mention the fact that he stole something from me? Can you believe it? Yoinked it right out from under me. I don’t want your grubby normie fingerprints on my stuff so if he shared it with you, I’m gonna need it back.”

Lilith calmly replied, “I assumed you’d know better since you were the one who dumped him in the middle of nowhere. He wasn’t exactly in any condition to exchange gifts when we found him. He’d been stripped and unarmed.”

Tyreen paused before shrieking with laughter. “She said unarmed! Please tell me you meant to make that pun.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I needed that. No big deal. It’s a matter of time until I find it anyway. Well, I’ve got places to be. Big milestone event coming up. You’re gonna love it. Oh, and tell Troy I said hi before he runs outta juice and shrivels up. 'Kay? Laterz!” The Calypso winked before the feed was cut.

Maya’s fists tingled with the urge to meet that punchable face. She hollered back at the empty screen, “Troy will be the one kicking your door in, you cocky bitch!”

Claptrap said something about the video transmission’s crappy production value, but no one was listening. Lilith grit her teeth. “Using Troy was the plan, but that’s only if we can keep him alive long enough to get there.”

Maya squeezed her fists tighter, causing her fingernails to dig into her palms. Tyreen was always one step ahead of them. She couldn’t care less that her brother was in the Raider’s custody. Because of Troy’s dependence on her, she never even saw him as a threat.

Tannis chimed, “I have a theory, but you aren’t going to like it, Lilith.” All eyes turned to the scientist. “It is apparent that Troy cannot absorb the life force from living things through touch alone, with the exception of sirens. According to my experiments, it’s highly plausible that he can gain the same effect by ingesting it directly via anthropophagy or hematophagy.”

The room was silent apart from the humming of the spaceship. Maya blinked and said, “Tannis, no one understands you when you talk like that. In layman’s terms, please?”

Tannis sighed in disappointment but explained, “Troy should be able to regain energy from cannibalism or drinking blood.”

~~~

Sorry it took so long for an update. I’ve been working through a serious creative block. Showing my girl Maya some love in this part. This was a little shorter than usual, but I hope it was still entertaining. As always, thanks for reading my garbage! <3

#troy calypso #borderlands 3 #redemption #fanfic #fanfiction #Troy #calypso #au #in the shadow of starlight

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theostry · 6 years

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Teen Wolf Scripts liveblog: Season 1 Episode 2

Second ep of the first season, appropriately titled:

Teen Wolf Scripts!

Back again, Wolfiends. Another lengthy post consisting of screenshots of the Teen Wolf script alongside my own rambling commentary. I’m not here to review the show; finer minds than myself have got that covered. Nor is it a photo-recap; that has been done by crazier bastards than myself.

I am here, as no doubt we all are, holding up my empty bowl to Jeff Davis and saying in a pitiful voice, “please, sir, I want some more.” Now, eat your gruel and count yourself lucky because this batch has raisins in it.

Excerpts have been selected based on the following criteria: 1) It did not make the final cut; 2) It was substantially altered; 3) It offers extra detail not apparent from the show, such as description and direction; and 4) I felt like including it.

Fun times (and, obviously, a hell of a lot of spoilers) below the cut.

Okay, let’s get started!

WhaaAAAAT?

We open on a doozie here. Is this a sign that the elusive Greenberg may actually exist? Like, in corporeal form? Not just a figment of Coach’s fevered imagination?

The lacrosse sequence we’re shown was more montage-y than the script suggests and we don’t see Coach pass the ball to anyone directly, but here’s the first player to try for goal:

Greenberg?

Or actually, it might have been this guy (confusing montage is confusing):

Greenberg (’s hairy leg)?

Oh but now here is where coach is telling Greenberg to take a lap, and THIS GUY starts running.

GREENBEEEEERRG!

Coach is doing more actual coaching than I had thought him capable of, that’s nice.

I don’t know what these “slap checks” and “cross checks” are, but to me it just looked like two guys in plastic armour smashing into one another. But what do I know, I’m not a sportsball expert.

Also, goats.

Sorry, sorry. I meant

*lurk*

Well there goes my headcanon that wolf-puppy Scott just wanted to pway wif his best fwiend!

I love this scene a lot, and I’m glad they made it more scary and dramatic than this, with the jumping up on lockers and crouching in rafters and such. Why go around something when you can go over it, amirite?

Hello, gorgeous!

A STRANGE SILHOUETTE.

I don’t know who you think you’re kidding, Jeff Davis. By now I think we all know that, like “a figure” and “someone watching”, this is a synonym for

Now 100% more grabby!

That part isn’t news, but— Pffffft Melissa.

LMFAO

Come on though, Melissa’s not that old. She knows perfectly well what it means, she just does this because it amuses her to make Scott squirm and huff.

Then Allison pops up to tell him that she too is excited to come and watch him play.

He didn’t get the line, but his face said it for him.

Meanwhile, someone’s creeping on Allison!

HOW VERY ALONE

NOT A SOUL

Until——

Just kidding. The script doesn’t say who it is. I guess we’ll never know. Or, canon confirmation that Derek Hale OR WHOEVER does not possess a soul

In math class—

Yeah, buddy. Us too.

Ah, Lydia

Is LAX a hip new abbreviation for Lacrosse? Or have airports somehow become a high school sport? I hope not, I would lose so badly.

Now I want a spin-off series of webisodes about Allison Argent versus the Totally Evil Popular Girls.

Curious. Both the spinning business and the ever-tantalising ‘OMITTED’. Don’t omit things, Jeff Davis, it’s rude!

Well that didn’t happen

That didn’t happen either

UM NO JEFF THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT WHAT HAPPENED. THAT IS LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT HAPPENED.

No theatrics here!

Pity this bit got cut. Not a huge difference to the scene — we still got Derek’s casual disregard for others’ property and heavy-handed metaphor — but Derek’s control is a big deal to Scott, and that could have done with more emphasis.

*Curiosity intensifies*

Good to know that half-second sight gag was planned from the start.

Huh. I always thought he’d said “there were bite marks on the lady.” Also, he didn’t mention Allison here on screen.

*Curiosity intensifies further*

Good instincts, Scotty! I wonder how much that was his burgeoning wolfy-sense, and how much was just genre-savvy.

Ooh, that’s different - on the show Scott is not only surprised to see Stiles approaching the car, but desperately trying to signal him to stop.

This is not an Ok, go face. This is a face that says Stiles, no. At least they rhyme?

The Sheriff is the Sheriff again. Order is restored to the universe.

The only ‘squealing sound’ I remember in this scene was from Stiles’s long-suffering Jeep.

And now— oh. Oh holy hell. Look at this.

yes yes we saw that part but Scott’s gone he’s run off

What the figgins no he hasn’t!

Oooooh Scotty no this is stalking behaviour. Do not eat your Stiles, that is bad manners.

Not the Jeep! Stalking your BFF is one thing but assaulting an innocent Roscoe is just bang out of order. No wonder Stiles abandons his calm entreaties to yell at him, you can’t hit a man in the Jeep and expect him to keep his temper.

I’m biting my nails are you biting your nails

SDKJHADFKLASDFA EXTENDED KEYSMASH!

I KNOW BUD IT IS VERY SCARY

THAT’S GOOD STILES DRIVE OUT FROM UNDER THE RAMPAGING WEREWOLF WHAT COULD GO WRONG

RAMPAGING WEREWOLVES ARE VERY PERSISTENT AREN’T THEY

well he wasn’t going to hit him what do you think he is an Argent

SDFLKJHGFLKLSDJFH

WHAT THE HELL

SOMEBODY CALL TYLER AND DYLAN AND FILM THIS SCENE, STAT!!

It’s like all those times when--

O_O

YEAH NO FashgfadsUCKING KIDDING, JEFF!

*deep breath*

Add that to the list of places the Argents have canonically lived. Unless it’s a reference to [Coach Finstock voice] cream cheese.

*Curiosity levels approaching critical*

A ball-peen hammer? Oh, Coach.

A crack? In his helmet? What and how?

Sensible, random Lacrosse (LAX?) player. Your captain is a douche.

Aw, we didn’t get Scott’s serial killer POV here.

Bahaha he never even went for a ‘slap check’ (whatever that is), he just growled at him from five feet away.

Interesting indeed, Coach! He doesn’t reply to Stiles in the show. This way it gives the impression that he’s going to be doing some investigating, maybe Scott will have to be more careful around him.

Lol, the referee never called the goal. Coach argued with him, then blew the whistle himself, and the refs just went with it.

That’s a different take - that in his heightened state the sight of Argent coming towards him triggered his flight response. We didn’t see Argent walking onto the field until after Scott was long gone, so there was no suggestion that Scott was reacting to him at that time. We do see an ominously thoughtful look on Chris’s face!

Awwww sweet. You hold onto that brief second, wolf boy.

I WONDER who it’s gonna be, say it with me now—

Oh hey! We’re on first name terms with our stalker now.

wait--

what

Aaaahahaha no he doesn’t, as if Derek Actual Hale would smile and greet someone. Jeff you’ve been smoking again.

(Or, more likely, trying to seed the aborted Jackson Hale plotline.)

Another ripper of a script! Some fun extra moments -- and nail-biting ones -- as well as a few where the production obviously decided to go in a different direction. We got Scott marvelling at Derek’s control, Melissa trolling her son like the A+ parent she is, Scott having extremely good spidey-senses for a canid, Derek as a luring lurker who lurks, even when the script tells him not to, this man cannot be stopped, not to mention everybody’s favourite Greenberg, with an actual face! Or leg. Whatever.

All outshone by the Jeep attack scene. Why, oh why, Jeff? Do you hate us?

Nahhh. On reflection, I can see why they cut it. This episode showcased Scott’s lack of control over his wolfy side, but we already had a fair bit of Feral Scott -- on the lacrosse (sorry, LAX) field and peeping into Allison’s window -- so that point was made. And we’d already had him attacking Stiles specifically, in that excellent locker room scene. But the visual of Scott wolfed out and roaring to the sky from atop the Jeep would have been something to see. Not to mention that moment of terror as Stiles finally sees what his friend has become, in the clear light of day, no helmet or darkness to obscure him.

It would have been the perfect punctuation to Scott’s complaint from just prior: “Stop enjoying this so much!” Stiles still thinks he’s in a superhero origin story. But Scott is stuck in a nightmare horror.

At least he got his perfect moment.

Exeunt

#teen wolf #TW scripts #theostry liveblogs the TW scripts #teen wolf season 1 #S01E02 #second chance at first line #long post

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watusichris · 7 years

Text

Replacements, 1st Time Around

In 1983, the Replacements hit Los Angeles for the first time. I followed them around for a week or two. This story, from the Dec. 2, 1983 issue of the Los Angeles Reader, is being posted in acknowledgement of the band’s splendid live album “For Sale,” which is being released on Friday by Rhino and is utterly tremendous. ********** During a Midwestern winter, when the seasonal temperatures gravitate toward the arctic, a rock ‘n’ roll band has to play hard just to stay warm. Judging from the rather limp records that emanate from the region, there are a lot of frozen butts in the heart of the nation. Midwestern rock hasn’t had much to offer since the garage-band heyday of Chicago’s Shadows of Knight and Minneapolis’ Litter, besides the pre-punk spasms of the MC5 and the Stooges.

Last week, though, a Minneapolis band pulled through L.A. and proved that there’s no energy crisis in their particular basement. The Replacements knocked out four superior sets of go-for-the-throat rock ‘n’ roll in the local clubs. I’ll borrow one of their song-title catch phrases: Color me impressed.

The Replacements have been together since 1979. They’ve released three records’ worth of original material (two albums and an EP) that could blow Violent Femme Gordon Gano’s precious little gonads from here to Maine. After hearing them on vinyl and in concert, there’s no doubt as to who the true Kings of the Great White North are.

The records, all on the Twin Cities-based Twin/Tone label, are all raw, unmanicured productions that opt for scurvy power rather than flat professionalism. Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, the debut album released in 1981, is a sort of song cycle of 18 tunes about cruising, partying, romance, dope, drunkenness, and the other senseless pursuits of adolescent Midwesterners. Its 1982 follow-up, The Replacements Stink, is a harder, louder eight-song EP that refines the first record’s sound into a murderous ball-peen screech. The latest LP, Hootenanny, is a lovably sloppy, diversely programmed collection incorporating blues, country, and folk elements hitherto unheard on the group’s recordings.

The great virtue of the Replacements’ records is a charming insouciance about polish, cleanliness, subtlety, taste, and other non-rock ‘n’ roll concerns. The band comes on like a disarming juvenile trash compacting of the pre-’66 Rolling Stones, the New York Dolls, the Stooges, the Sex Pistols, and the Ramones. Crudity, humor (much of it self-deprecating), velocity, and high volume are the hallmarks of the Replacements’ style. The Dolls are their most obvious role model: The ear-scraping abandon of Bob Stinson’s guitar recalls Johnny Thunders at his most frenetic, and vocalist Paul Westerberg’s drunken, hoarse warbling is comparable to the caterwauling of the pre-solo David Johansen.

Westerberg writes the lion’s share of the band’s material, and it is largely terrific stuff. He’s at his best when confronting the trials of Everykid, whether goofing off at the bus stop (“Hangin’ Downtown”), lusting after the girl who works at the corner store (“Customer’), lamenting the necessities of lower education (“Fuck School”), or confronting the idiocies of average teenage social behavior (“I Bought a Headache” and “Color Me Impressed”).

Though many of the numbers are smash ‘n’ snarl thrashers, there’s enough variety in the Replacements’ sound to keep them out of sticky-floored identipunk corners. Many of Westerberg’s most effective and affecting compositions are ballads – “Johnny’s Gonna Die” (a premature elegy for the graveyard-bound Johnny Thunders, on Sorry Ma), “Go” (on Stink), and “Willpower” (on Hootenanny). The group also shows an increasing affinity for inebriated blues and boogie; the standard mode of Midwestern barroom bashing is utilized to ironic effect in “White and Lazy” (which sounds remarkably like the Dolls’ boozy remake of Bo Diddley’s “Pills”) and “Take Me Down to the Hospital.” Westerberg is also reportedly a prolific writer of folkish solo material: This side of his style is reflected on record in the non-LP B side “If Only You were Lonely” and the caustic, basement-tapey self lampoon “Treatment Bound,” which concludes Hootenanny: “We’re getting’ noplace as fast as we can/We get a nose full from our so-called friends.”

This daffy catalog of styles, as well as some wonderfully blatant cops (everything from the Dragnet theme to “Frere Jacques,” “Oh Darling,” and “The Twist”), combines with Westerberg’s nose-thumbing take on dumb youth angst and the band’s flat-out, heated performance methodology to make for rock ‘n’ roll that is alert, aware, pointed, and funny. On their records (and I wouldn’t part with any one of them), the Replacments are unbeatable. Onstage, even when approaching the boundary line of chaos, they’re among the most special of live bands.

I don’t know where you suckers were last week, but the Replacements shows in L.A. were without exception under-attended. Well, you blew it, chumps, and don’t let it happen next time. This is a band that can knock you out of your Nikes even on the slowest and worst of nights, and they shouldn’t be missed.

Visually, they’re an unprepossessing lot. Paul Westerberg is an emaciated rail who looks like he rolled out of bed just before the gig; his sole concession to onstage fashion is some poorly applied eye makeup, which just emphasizes the beatness of his wardrobe (faded flannels and T-shirts and well-worn jeans) and the comatosity of his appearance. His face is perpetually creased by a knowing smirk; like Popeye, he speaks and sings out of the corner of his mouth.

Guitarist Bob Stinson is the group’s fashion plate: He usually plays in a polka-dotted skirt, or in his jockey shorts. The pocket of his blue denim jacket holds his toothbrush. His brother Tommy, the group’s bassist, and drummer Chris Mars are little babyfaces (the junior Stinson joined the group when he was 12). For all his youthful appearance, Mars possess a deadpan wit: Shortly after Kristine McKenna pegged him as a Yale student in the Times, Mars showed up on the Music Machine stage wearing a T-shirt hand-lettered in Magic Marker with “YAIL UNIVERSITY.”

“Loose” is a term that can be used to describe a typical Replacements set. Some songs do not so much end as break down in a clatter of drums and a squawk of feedback. Westerberg and the young Stinson are often to be found in conversation during a guitar solo. Blown key changes occur with regularity. The band is frankly casual about its performance demeanor. At the Music Machine last Wednesday, Tommy Stinson leaned over in midtune to grab a beer, and his bass immediately came both unplugged and unstrapped; he unhurriedly refitted himself, in time to pluck the last two notes of the song.

This is definitely a group who hold to their professed sub-professional standing (“The label wants a hit/But we don’t give a shit,” they sing in “Treatment Bound”), but their carelessness and blithe disregard for even the basics of showmanship never interfere with the impact of the show.

They heave their way through a set at eardrum-crushing volume, with Westerberg, his vocal cords ready to snap at any moment, screaming to be heard over the din. Bob Stinson’s Fender spits out withering clusters of spike-toned notes, underpinned by Westerberg’s brutishly loud rhythm guitar. And Tommy Stinson and Mars provide a relentless backup. As wiggy as the band can get, its musicianship is generally of the highest caliber.

They provide more than a few laughs, too. They’ll switch instruments to play the title track from Hootenanny. They’ll rock out on “The Marine Corps Hymn,” essay Hank Williams’ “Hey Good Lookin’” or T. Rex’s “Twentieth Century Boy,” or perform a country-and-western version of their “God Damn Job” (lyric: “I need a god damn job/I need a god damn job/God damn it/God damn it/God damn/ I need a god damn job”).

I got hooked on the Replacements’ energy and sharp-incisored humor at Club Lingerie two weeks ago, where, looking a bit singed from the road, they wowed some of the assembled waxworks with a ragged but involving set. I wound up following the group around town during the next few days. They did a sizzling marathon hour-and-a-quarter show at the Cathay de Grande on Monday night, and a tough, nutty, erratic one at the Music Machine on Wednesday.

Musically, they were at low ebb at their return Cathay engagement on Thanksgiving, but that set may have been the most revealing of all. The house was filled with Mohawked dolts panting for Social Distortion. The Replacements, who could easily have mowed their audience down with a show comprising their short, fierce, hardcore-styled tunes, instead opted for the opposite tack. They began the show with the blues shuffle “White and Lazy” and made their alienating way through every ballad, country tune, and slow number in their repertoire. The leftover turkeys in the crowd were gobbling as the set oozed its way to a conclusion, but it was the Replacements who were having the last laugh on the fashion-conscious ex-surfers in leather. As Tommy Stinson said in mock admiration, “Wow, punk rockers.”

Remember when punk rockers gave their audiences the raspberry (or worse), disassembled rigid expectations, and guffawed at the status quo? At the Cathay on Turkey Day, the Replacements proved something besides the fact that they are a great rock ‘n’ roll band. They proved that they may just be the last real punk band in America. Come back soon, guys – there are some other folks in this sleepy town who could use some waking- and wising-up.

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tellywoodtrash · 7 years

Text

ishqbaaz 28.07.17 lb

plain text version here.

svetlana - queen of on-the-fly plan making. on how to dispose of a dead body even. my flawless queen. 😍😍😍

“godddd, mujhe is duniya ki sabse irritating sautan mili hai.”

HAHAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂

god jhanvi’s actually the worst. she’s got zeroooooooooo chill. 🙄🙄🙄

what’s with the raaaandom white tie around her waist? it’s ruining the otherwise hot outfit. 😣😣😣

svetlana’s A+ handling of incident. she should go into PR! 🙃🙃🙃

oh boy. the press has gotten photos. this is notttttttt goood. 😬😬😬

ugh gauriiiiiiiiii, i don’t like these dheelam dhaaale kapde of yours. 😑😑😑

like shrenu’s so tiny to start with. uske upar, swathing her in waaaaaaay too much kapda like this is just so ugh. 😫😫😫

ooh nice comforter. someone leak where it’s from. 😙😙😙

why are they playing this happy happy sanskaari music, usually used for establishing shots of family scenes? 😐😐😐

musiccccc just changed into EXTRA DRAMATIC AND SCARY. 😯😯😯

girl chill. it’s not like you were reading his diary. 😕😕😕

even om is like girl calm down, it’s your room too.

poor gauri. she still doesn’t know his original om waala personality and is walking on eggshells all the time around him, scared of what he’ll accuse of her next. 😔😔😔

is this the first time he’s recited poetry in front of her???? look at her starstruck expression! girllll, you don’t even know the level of how dreamy this boy can get. just you wait. you’re not gonna know what hit you when he starts putting the moves on ya! 😊😊😊

no but really, have they changed the team of who was writing om during DBO and gone back to the original? coz this is pure classic Original Omkara™ and i can’t stop crying because of how perfect he is. my boyyyyy. he’s baaaaaack. i had lost all hopeeee, and now he’s back!!!!! 😫😫😫

ok again... CANONICALLY, om was 4 when rudra was born. are you telling me a 5 year old om made that picture??? ffs, come on; we all know he’s closer to shivaay’s age. just make that canon already. make him like 6 months - a year younger or whatever, but come on. 😒😒😒

om opening up to gauri this way, god, i’m crying. when have we seen him express himself like this, even to his brothers? he hasn’t. ughhhh, i’m soooooo happppyyyyyyy. *weeping* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

the way they’re looking at eachhhhhhhhhh otherrrrrr. 💘💘💘

“hunar ki aisi ki taisi! hum hunar ko ek jhaaanp mein deewaar pe sataa denge!”

actually me. my solution to every problem is “can i beat it up and make it comply?” 😗😗😗

om’s affectionate smile at her! she’s just so endearing! 😍😍😍

GAURI KUMARI SSARMA TO THE RESCUE. 😇😇😇

imma need the writers to make @ilovefusion ‘s idea canon and use That Scene from titanic as inspiration. #tharkisUnite

bhavya’s out for some casual friday night grave robbing. 😊😊😊

first of all, why do all the names have “late” in front of them? yes, they’re ALL “late”, and that’s why they’ve been buried???? “late” is a prerequisite for burial. 😐😐😐

secondly, that’s not how you spell JOHN. jesus. 🙄🙄🙄

she’s actually doing this. she’s actually desecrating a grave. 😶😶😶

um, why the the locket out there in the mud? didn’t john’s family spring for a damn coffin before burying him????????? they just put him directly in the ground? 😟😟😟

YO WTH AT LEAST COVER THE DAMN GRAVE BACK UP? WHAT THE FUCK KINDA RUDEASS DISRESPECT TO THE DEAD.... JOHN’S FULLY GONNA COME BACK TO HAUNT YO ASS, ACP ANDA. 😒😒😒

snort, these two woke up on the wrong side of their beds today. 😆😆😆

awwwwwww, hiiiiiii babyyyyyy. 👶🏽👶🏽👶🏽

eeeee, bringing back the “awwwwwww”! 😊😊😊

a nakuul smile - not a shivaay smile. 😄😄😄

ooooh yeah baby, tie him upppppppp. #tharkiAF 😏😏😏😏😏😏

lolllll rudra ko bas maukaaaa chahiye ragini ka band bajaane ka. 😆😆😆

too cute!!!!!! 😚😚😚

oufffo shivaaaaaay, backkkkk on your BS. i thought kal ke baaad sudhar gaye honge. but hmph. of course not. 😒😒😒

devar squad is not happy. shivaay will have to pay for this. 😬😬😬

lmao ok wow, this has actually become a screaming match. the who tied his APRON waala issue. 😕😕😕

“tu sochta hi kab hai?????”

ooooooooooh. omki - 1, shivaay - 0. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

pft. we know you’ve forgiven her already dil se. bas tumhara stupid dimaaaag hasn’t gotten the memo yet. 😑😑😑

ohhhhh boy, this one still thinks that the omkara thing might be true, and is hiding it. 😶😶😶

why didn’t he get stealth dna test done, ala khushi kumaari gupta??? 🤔🤔🤔

omkara has haaaaaad it with shivaay’s shit today. he’s not holding back even a little. 😇😇😇

oh god please don’t show me flashbacks from the wedding from hell. it’s been over half a year and i still haven’t gotten over it. seeing anything from that episode feels like a punch to the gut. 😖😖😖🤢🤢🤢

hells yeahhhhhhhh devar squad. callllllll him outttttttt. MAKE HIM AWARE OF ALL HIS GARBAGE BEHAVIOUR. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

lmao, shivaay still trying to win - EK POINT AUR HAI MERE PAAS!!!!!! (said in the most insecure, stammering voice) 😆😆😆

OH HO RUDRA. KUCH NAHI REHTA IS LADKE KE PET MEIN. 😑😑😑

LMFAO, MOST PISS POOR DAMAGE CONTROL EVER. IDIOTS. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

too late though. shivaay’s suspicion has been raised. 🙈🙈🙈

god i love these two buff, bearded stupid cupids too much. 👼🏽👼🏽

girlfriends out on a chaiiiiiiiiiiiii date! 😊😊😊

svetlana’s sooooo not the tapri se chai peene waali type tho. the things we do for love! 😚😚😚

oh ho jhanvi, jo ho gaya, woh ho gaya. live your best life from now on! (WITH YOUR NEW HOT MURDER GIRLFRIEND.) 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽

WAIT WHAT, THEY JUST LEFT HIM IN THE OPEN GRAVE? OHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO, THAT MEANS HE’S NOT DEAD FOR REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😫😫😫😫😫

oh wait. they did cover him up? HE’S DEAD FOR REAL? *gets hopes slightly up again* 😶😶😶

lmaooooo, ek toh phone gumaa deti ho, upar se svetlana se attitude. pft. get your shit together, jhanviiiii. 🙄🙄🙄

lol oh no, what are these two idiots cooking up now? 😟😟😟

again with this dinner plan. kitni baaar dinner karwaoge in dono se? kuch naya socho yaar. 🙄🙄🙄

“embarrassed, AUR WOH?”

lololol shivaay knows his wife too well. 😆😆😆

snort. height jokes. bechaara. 😂😂😂

ohhhhhhhhh boy. pichli baar 15000 rs. ka phatka laga tha, door tod ke. is baar naa jaane shivaay kya kya tod dega aur kitne ka bill aayega. 😬😬😬

just calllll the damn phone. 😒😒😒

thank god. jhanviiiiii has the same brainwave.

ok fwd fwd fwdddddd till they get the phone. ⏩⏩⏩

random musing while fwding: i’m really digging the red hair on reyhna, man. it looks sooooooooo good on her. 😍😍😍

I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. GODDAMNNNITTTTTT. UGH FUCKKKKKKK YOU TEJJJJJJJJJJJJ. WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO THE RIGHT THING AND STAYYYY DEAD???? 😩😩😩😩😩

what if this was tej/svetlana’s plan? to make jhanvi think she killed him, and then gaslight her with the guilt into going insane and then putting her in the same asylum as buamaa. *sigh* i bet this is the plan. 😞😞😞

ugh, why this stupid plaid suit? kal ka sweater waala look waapas laooooooooooooo! 😣😣

oh it’s in the “STOREROOM” again huh????

still can’t get over how they tried to pass THIS hugeasssss hall, which is twice as big as my whole apt. put together, as a “storeroom”. 😒😒😒

OH DAMN. MY GIRL LOOKS HOT AFFFFFFFFFFFFF. *pushes shivaay aside and steals his girl from him* 😍😍😍

Awareness™ . haaaaaaaaaaye. 💘💘💘

YEAH BOY YOU CHECK HER OUTTTTTTTTT. SHE LOOKS LIKE FUCKING FIRE. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

ouff, again with the contrived trip fall. why couldn’t she fall towards him this time, and press up against him all deliciouslyyyyyy? 😏😏😏

HOW IS HE NOT KISSING HER???? LOOK AT HER. LOOOOOOOOOK AT HER?!!?!?!? 😯😯😯

ugh, why’re they using the exaaaact same flashback moments from the earlier scene. so boring. 😑😑😑

YAS HE’S LOOKING AT HER MOUTH AND INCHING CLOSER. YAS. KISS HER, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!! 😫😫😫

ok not to kill the moment or anything, but how do nakuul/surbhi shoot scenes like this? must be hellllllllll on their kamars no? is the show sponsored by moov? just looking at them is making my kamar hurt. 🤔🤔🤔

god. why are these two not banging?!?! the sexual tension is fucking killing ME. how are they even standing it????? 😩😩😩

... how quickly will this date degenerate into accusations and angst?

i saaaaaaaaaay 10 minutes. tops. 😗😗😗 place your bets in replies.

OUFF JHANVI. YOU’RE THE WORST LIAR EVER. 😣😣😣

yet another reason to get rid of bhavya: jhanvi cannot have an cop for a bahu now that she’s a (attempted?) murderer. come on. bring back sumo, who will give jhanvi A+ ideas on how to get out of this, based on her research. 😊😊😊

honestly, kya kismat hai jhanvi ki; two cops as kids-in-law. not the best position to be in as a murderer. 😬😬😬

WILL YOU PPL JUST LET JHANVI GO TO BED ALREADY???? SHE’S HAD A LONG HARD DAY OF MURDERIN’. 😥😥😥

oh shit. this is why you should have set up a google alert for the oberoi name, jhanvi. 😬😬😬

since when do any of the kids in this house bother talking to their parents??? like... rudra’s concern for tej is honestly looking bizarre. 😕😕😕

GODDAMNIT JHANVI PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. 😒😒😒

wtffffffffffffff, after alllllll this, bhavya doesn’t even know what the fuck is in the locket?????? goddddddddd. 😤😤😤

OMFG THIS IDIOT ANDA, EVEN CHILDREN HIDE THEIR THINGS BETTER THAN THIS. THIS IS OFFICIAL FUCKING EVIDENCE TO BE PRESENTED IN COURT, YOU SENTIENT BAG OF HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

why the fuck does her denim jacket say TOY STORY on the back? 😟😟😟

OK LITERALLY NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE TWO, CAN WE GO BACK TO SHIVIKA AND THEIR DATE PLEASE????????? 😒😒😒

who the fuckkkkk even is rudra to ask her these things? 😑😑😑

good. put him in his place, bhavya. honestly. such a weird entitlement rudra seems to have towards her for no good reason??????? 😕😕😕

anika, haath se khaana hai, theek hai, par please, insaano ki tarah khao! WHY WOULD YOU SERVE YOURSELF WITH YOUR HAND????? GROSS. COME ON GIRL. 😬😬😬😒😒😒

is ragini spying on them through some hidden camera or something??? 🤔🤔🤔

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs #280717 ib lb

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slut4film · 3 years

Text

061121 - midsommar (2019), dir. ari aster

plot: several friends travel to sweden to study as anthropologists a summer festival that is held every ninety years in the remote hometown of one of them. what begins as a dream vacation in a place where the sun never sets, gradually turns into a dark nightmare as the mysterious inhabitants invite them to participate in their disturbing festive activities.

cast:

florence pugh as dani ardor

jack reynor as christian hughes

william jackson harper as josh

vilhelm blomgren as pelle

ellora torchia as connie

archie madekwe as simon

will poulter as mark

genres:

horror

folk horror

drama

mystery

thoughts:

okay, starting off with aesthetic music

the drastic change from enya-esque music to the phone ringing

i love when people have androids or older versions of iphones in film

dani ardor sounds a lot like ari aster to me

florence pugh might be incredibly depressed in this but she’s still incredibly beautiful

bro i get mad paranoid too when my mom or my dad or my sister don’t text fast enough, my overthinking ass be thinking that they’ve gotten into an accident or gotten kidnapped or some shit

ayo, it’s gally, it’s my boy will poulter!!

okay i have never in my life found will poulter attractive but he’s looking kinda good in this

is she giving birth or something wtf

that shot of dani’s mom getting zipped into the body bag was actually sickening

why would you ever choose carbon monoxide poisoning as the way to go??

florence pugh’s wailing in the background speakers as christian walks in the snow adds even more to the pain and sorrow she’s feeling

okay but why are their voices so quiet and the music so goddamn loud??

the vibes of florence pugh and her apartment are kinda giving me uncarley from youtube but not funny

you see ever since i heard about this film, sweden has given me off vibes but on the other hand, i also think of swedish meatballs and ikea

yeah, never mind, i don’t care how much this film is going to affect my perception of sweden, i’ll still go for the swedish meatballs and to see oskar lindblom and/or his hometown

“in stockholm, are there any meatball sex clubs we can hit up?”

the use of mirrors in these shots instead of going back and forth between actors is such a cinematic take

ari aster thought about their majors and connected them so well, christian being an anthropology major and wanting to go to sweden for his thesis, dani being a psychology major most likely to learn more about her sister and how to help others with mental illness

i just want to know why their bathroom looks like an airport bathroom

oh shit, transitions!! that’s why it looked like an airport bathroom

will poulter is way hotter than christian

will poulter trippin on acid is something i never knew i needed

i expected something to pop out of the mirror, not florence pugh popping out of the darkness and into the light

i love how the lighting is so bright and spring like, putting me under the impression that the horror element won’t necessarily be based off jump scares but off true horror

do you think jonas pate got the idea for midsummers in obx from midsommar?? or has midsummer/midsommar always been a thing and i’m just uneducated?? have flower crowns always been a part of midsummer/midsommar?? i think i’m just uneducated

pelle giving dani a drawing for her birthday and her own boyfriend doesn’t even remember, stan pelle

i love how the lil swedish children are just casually watching austin powers

one of the swedes looks like brock nelson, i swear

her face being absolutely demolished after she jumped was kinda aesthetic

his fall was so lame what the heck

not my father sitting in halfway through and getting pissed at will poulter pissing and then proceeding to go on a rant on why americans are stupid and arrogant

will poulter is dying a little too early for my liking

he really had flash on despite the big ass spotlight

y’all really killed will poulter and the black guy but not florence pugh’s asshole boyfriend??

just a ladle of drink?? i would be parched

how is florence pugh getting all these dance steps so effortlessly??

*insert jazz hands*

"we don't need words to talk. it's dancing!" i agree with that statement

wait why did pelle kiss her???

the may queen crown is so pretty

titties!

i did not want to see christian's peen

fucking on a flower bed might just be my new favorite aesthetic

not them turning her moans into an acapella cover

now who the fuck is the bitch who looks like sia did the kylie jenner lip challenge?

that is how i expect group therapy to look like

did taylor swift base her 2021 grammy's outfit on florence pugh in flower structure?

hold the fuck up… taxidermy?

dani choosing christian to be the last sacrifice is such a girlboss move

i just know that bear smells like ass

that shot of everyone burning >>

florence pugh in the flower dress moving around like a fucking snail

rating: 4/5 stars

#midsommar #film #dumb bitch and her thoughts #badbitchonfilm #christian hughes hate account!!

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