#castle on a hill is still one of my favourites thus far

[kmesons]

listening to the demos for cinderella's castle is an interesting experience, because for the first time in years, these starkid songs aren't attached to a pre-existing universe, so we get entirely unfamiliar melodies. that's not to say that hatchetfield gave us new songs in every installment of the series, but in cinderella's castle, we get completely new leitmotifs to analyse, which is really fun.

[crusherthedoctor]

Crusher Elaborations #1: Thoughts on the Aesthetic of Sonic’s World

If someone came up to me and asked “Which do you prefer, Classic Sonic or Modern Sonic?”, my answer would start off with “Well, technically Classic Sonic because...”, and then I'd get cut off by the other person immediately lecturing me on why I'm wrong and why I'm the worst kind of fan imaginable. Should they finish their rant, I would then explain to them in the midst of them basking in their flock of easy Twitter likes that I didn't necessarily mean it in the way they predicted.

If we were talking about the games, the characters, or the character design, I'd be fairly neutral, since I like both halves equally for the most part. In fact, when it comes to characters, Modern might actually have the edge believe it or not, since the sheer number of characters introduced from SA1 onwards naturally means a lot of my favourites were introduced from that point on, such as Tikal, Rouge, Gamma, Omega, Blaze... But then again, Classic introduced Eggman and Tails, and the Hard-Boiled Heavies are technically Classic as well despite being relatively new...

Anyway, the point is, I'm not talking about any of that today. I'm talking about the world that Sonic and his multicolored chums live in. Or rather, the aesthetic of it.

NOTE: This is purely about the game universe. While I do have my thoughts on Sonic’s world as presented in other continuities, that won’t be the focus here.

If you're familiar with my blog, you'll know that as a general rule of thumb, I much prefer colorful and creative worlds in my Sonic universe, and that rings true for my reasoning here. And I know what you're gonna say: “But Crusher, isn't there plenty of that in the Modern games as well?” Yes, there is, and I appreciate them very much. But this is why I feel the need to make a post of this sort to begin with, because I'm NOT saying “Classic cool, Modern boring” and calling it a day. There's a little more nuance to my tastes here.

When I say I prefer the Classic aesthetic for Sonic's world, I don't mean it in the literal sense of disregarding everything about the Modern aesthetic. Let's put it like this: when you're asked to paint a picture of these two sides of Sonic's universe in your head, a specific image will likely come to mind. When you think of Classic, you'll probably think of Green Hill first and foremost, whereas with Modern, you'll probably think of something like City Escape or Rooftop Run before anything else. In other words, when you think Modern Sonic, you're probably imagining the more realistic kind of locations first. And between the two mental images that come to mind, I personally prefer the Classic image. Shock, horror.

I wish I could swim in a sea that’s probably radioactive.

Now keep in mind, I'm not saying that City Escape, Rooftop Run, and all similar environments in the series look bad, because they don't. Unless they're painted with the '06 brush, they generally look fine, and the locations in Unleashed in particular are undeniably beautiful from an graphical standpoint. The problem is that although I can picture this as a world that Sonic could be in, I can't necessarily picture it as Sonic's world specifically. Because when it comes to the more realistic environments, I feel there's not much of an attempt to let it branch out as its own thing.

I know that might seem harsh, especially for Unleashed, since the real world angle was the deliberate theme of that game. And Sonic taking cues from real places is a fine concept, there's no issue there. I'm not gonna complain if there's a France Zone with an Eiffel Tower in the background. In fact, Sandopolis Act 1 has one of my favourite aesthetics in a Classic zone (mainly because the background is really pleasant to look at), and that zone is essentially Egypt Zone. But if you're making a Real World Zone, there needs to be more to it than that, otherwise you don't truly get a Sonic interpretation of our world... you instead have our world as it is with Sonic characters awkwardly stapled on.

When I look at City Escape, it may not be completely unfitting for Sonic (the posters and billboards in particular are actually a really nice touch), but when I look at it, I don't see Sonic's interpretation of San Francisco. I see San Francisco with Sonic shoved in. When they morph these places to Sonic's liking, they'll add rings, loops... and that's it. They rarely take the concept any further, which is a huge shame, particularly in the case of Rooftop Run, where I otherwise do like its visuals a lot, but it just doesn't go far enough with the concept for my liking.

At least you get to murder car owners, and give G.U.N. a legitimate reason to arrest you.

So which Modern games do I feel did the best job at making Sonic's world... er, Sonic's world? Well the truth is, most of them actually do a decent job in this area, regardless of the level design quality or the game’s quality period. SA2 has Pumpkin Hill, Eggman's Pyramid Base, and... SOME levels aboard the A.R.K (mainly the “outside” ones, like Final Rush). Shadow the Hedgehog, a game that reveled in how brown and gritty it was, still had highlights like Circus Park and Digital Circuit. Even '06 of all games had Aquatic Base, which was pretty cool from a conceptual standpoint. And although Unleashed as a whole might be a touch too vanilla in the creativity scale, it still had the glorious Eggmanland at the very end. But if I had to say which of the Modern installments did the best job overall...

- For starters, I'm gonna give a shoutout to SA1, because even though it was the first Modern game, and thus it was technically responsible for the more focused angle of realism in Sonic's world in the first place, it didn't take it quite as far as later games would, and although it may not be a perfect 1-to-1 representation of the world we saw in the Classic games, it does well enough with what it brings to the table that I can still accept it without any issue at all. Some of that has to do with the fact that you still have wilder areas like Windy Valley and Red Mountain to balance things out, but even with the other half, the game's use of colour is enough for it to go a long way, oddly enough. Take the At Dawn section of Speed Highway for instance:

From innocent times, when the radar wasn’t a piece of shit.

Technically, it's really not that different to the urban environments you see in SA2 or Unleashed. But something about the sleepy morning approach gives it a subtle, almost dream-like edge to it that I really dig, and despite it being pretty similar to the likes of City Escape, somehow I have an easier time buying into the idea of this place being part of the same world as zones like Sky Sanctuary.

And seeing how I already mentioned Red Mountain, let me compare it to Flame Core:

Yes, I know bringing '06 into this discussion at all is inherently and hilariously unfair, but let's put aside the game that Flame Core comes from for a moment. Aside from maybe the purple crystal caves indoors (and that's assuming you can even see where the fuck you're going in there), Flame Core is pretty boring to look at as far as Sonic levels go. Red Mountain is vastly more interesting, even though it's basically the exact same concept, and a lot of that has to do with - you guessed it - colour. Sure, it's day time, that's one thing, but you'll also notice that for a lava/mountain stage, it surprisingly has a few grassier sections, sort of like Hill Top in that regard. A little bit of green among the brown and red, and a great contrast to the volcanic nightmare you'll experience when you head inside.

Now this might seem like a fairly minor detail... and yeah, it is, but the thing that SA1 does so well is that it combines so many of those small details to make a complete, well-rounded package. This is why SA1 meshes well with the Classic style despite not being an exact replica, because just as the Classics excelled at, it wasn't afraid to use colour in interesting ways. It understood that a fire level could have more than just red and orange, in the same way that a grassy level could have more than just green and blue.

But of course, as I mentioned, SA1 is not an exception. There are other Modern games that did a great job on the whole...

- Heroes is an obvious answer, since it's translation of Genesis-style environments to 3D is probably one of the most recurring praises the game receives, and rightly so. Not much to say here, except that Hang Castle is still cool as hell.

And plenty of opportunity to admire the not-broken-in-half moon.

- Colours is another obvious one, though something of an ironic one given that the premise of the game involved going to other worlds, and those worlds were all converted against their will by Eggman. Yet, they did an equally superb job at creating fun, unique locales, and Aquarium Park in particular remains a favourite of mine.

Gotta love that red/blue contrast.

- The Riders series has a more futuristic bend compared to the rest of the series, but even when it's not all high-tech, it's got some pretty cool environments of its own, and I feel they even do well at mixing the real world side of things on top of that. Gigan Rocks comes to mind, as does Aquatic Capital.

Reminds me of when Perfect Chaos peacefully protested against Station Square.

- Regardless of my thoughts on the game itself, Secret Rings had some undeniable winners in this depertment. You tell me with a straight face that Night Palace doesn't look amazing.

A wonderful palace for a domestic abuser.

- And lastly, they might have had an early advantage since they're already 2D, but the Advance trilogy and Rush duology deserve a mention. They had some fantastic ideas for zones, like Planet Sonata Music Plant, and they did great with the colours as well. Hell, throughout these five games, the sky was practically every shade of the rainbow at one point or another.

Oh look, another completely whole moon.

Also, quick shoutout to another minor detail akin to the grassy sections of Red Mountain: these pink tunnel sections in Ice Mountain. No elaborate point to make here, just another perfect example of how much I adore these games' use of colour and contrast.

Seriously, I could go on for hours about good contrast.

Although I do bring up these small details for another reason, and in turn, another layer to my more nuanced take on Sonic aesthetics. By this point, we get the basic jist: Crusher likey when Sonic levels unique and pretty. But this can - and has - lead to a couple of misconceptions, so I'd like to address those and then laugh at them.

“So you want Sonic's world to be exactly like Mario?”

A common complaint that Lost World received was that it was too much like Mario, in more ways than one, and part of this was to do with the game's visual style. The zones may have been upbeat, but they often consisted of a bunch of things floating in the air and not much else, ala 2D Mario. While I didn't outright hate it, it’s definitely not what I have in mind for Sonic.

Of course, all complaints about being too much like Mario suddenly turn into praise when Eggette gets brought up...

And why is that? Because yes, I like my Sonic locations to be fun and lively... but I also want them to be firmly established within the context of this universe. The Lost World approach is fine with Special Stages and the sort, but outside of that... well, Studiopolis is a perfect example of what I'm talking about:

On one hand, it's very unique when compared to other cities in this franchise, and it's full of quirkiness, great use of colour, and all that good stuff I've went on about. But at the same time, it's grounded just enough so that it still feels like an actual city that the people of Sonic's world could feasibly live in, rather than a basic and empty video game level with a tacked on city background. Studiopolis may be a level from a video game, but you can totally believe it's a fully fleshed out place from its own perspective.

Naturally, this praise also rings true with the Modern games I listed earlier, and is yet another reason for why I approve of their settings.

“So you think Sonic can't have darker locations?”

It might be easy to take my compliments at face value, and assume that I'm immediately opposed to a zone that's not brightly colored. This is... very obviously false, as even the Classic games have their share of less-than-cheery areas, such as Scrap Brain and the Bad Futures in Sonic CD.

However, when you're making a grittier location in Sonic's world, regardless of the context, it still needs to be interesting. The problem with a lot of them in Modern installments is that they're boring. Crisis City is a generic city on fire. Westopolis is a generic city with aliens firing lasers from above. The prison levels in SA2 - and the indoor ARK levels not named Cannon's Core - are just grey hallways for the most part. That shit isn't exciting, and it doesn't get my mind speculating. It just makes me want to move on.

Let the eggsperts take care of this.

By contrast, Eggmanland is a prime example of how to do it right. Eggmanland is a magnificent theme park as envisioned by the good doctor, but it's also, at its core, a giant metal hellscape fueled by the energy of a dark entity, and it only gets more ominous the further you go through it or try to before you give up because it’s too fucking long and you died at the end. So it sets the mood to be sure, but it's still visually compelling to look at, and interesting to think about.

And since Eggman is apparently the only one who can show us how it's done, here's a shoutout to Titanic Monarch as well:

Like Heavy King, but Heavier and Kingier.

When comparing the final zones in Sonic games, I especially love this zone's visual approach, because it manages to be dark and colorful at the same time, and in a strangly organic way. It's got a spooky atmosphere, with a moody moonlight backdrop to match, and the titular robot is foreboding as hell as you climb up it and traverse through it... all the while having red floors, green and yellow wires, blue and pink buildings, and stained glass windows of Eggman and the Heavies for you to marvel at. So even putting aside the unique scenario of climbing up and then through a Kaiju-sized mech, the mood of the zone alone manages to be extremely memorable.

So what have we learned from all this? Aside from the fact that I’m way too interested in this subject? We now know that when I say I prefer the Classic “style” over Modern when it comes to the way that Sonic's world is presented:

- I don't mean that literally.

- There are certain qualities that although both of them possess, they tend to be more immediately associated with Classic in the collective consciousness, even within the fandom.

- The environments that I love the most in Modern games are often the ones that would also fit perfectly in the Classic style.

So whenever I express the basic nature of this opinion in the future... just imagine a small asterisk at the end of my sentence.

[aurawithinblog]

My Studio Ghibli Movie Run

Anime was never an escape from reality but a dive deeper into it. My

Quarantine did come with its perk if you are willing to indulge yourself in new found favourites. As most of us who are home quarantined we are always on the run for what to indulge upon next. After much of viewing trailers and reading the short bio I decided to go for this Anime movie called 'Only Yesterday' and it left with a feeling one gets after a Murakami book only wanting for more. And it was only then I realised maybe this was what everyone else was talking about when they addressed Studio Ghibli. And thus began my Studio Ghibli Movie run where I was on an adventure to watch every single one of Studio Ghibli movie ever to be made. I started off by watching 2 movies a day for 4 consecutive days but it started having a bad effect on my sleep cycle, So I cut down on my run and sticked with 1 movie a day..  The trio of directors of Studio Ghibli each had their own way of directions however they were on the similar track of providing a movie that would inspire children to be humane and respect nature and tradition in the process of growing up. Studio Ghibli sees the modern world to rob a child of its inborn power to discover the mystic of nature with its power of imagination. Therefore we always see children as being the lead protagonists of their movies who according to the producers are the closest with Nature. Can we ever forget that Nature Rhyme in Princess Kaguya or how Mei and Satsuki from My neighbour Totoro befriended Totoro who returned love with nothing else but love or Haru from the Cat Returns whose one act of kindness to a kitten in her childhood saved her from the brutality of being stuck in the Cats kingdom for life? This reminds me of what Wordsworth stated in his Lyrical ballads 'Nature never did break the heart of the one's that truly loved her”. The  interpretations of these migh be multi layered, some might also find instances of the 18TH century Romantic ideology, however the foremost attraction to these movies has to be their non digitilised art. They even quoate it took them a month to create 12 minutes of the movie as they still depend upon their hand drawn art and maybe thats why they work best for the viewers. Studio Ghibli formally came into existence 1985 and was created by Tokuma Shoten who published "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Winds" in 1985.The locus of the production house Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata who were previously working Toei Animation, but together with Toshio Suzuki founded this production house.Miyazaki named the studio as Ghibli which was the name of the hot air that blew in the Sahara desert. This name was used by Italian military aircraft during the WW2.Miyazaki being an ardent lover of aircrafts named the same signifying a new wind that will blow in the Japanese animation industry. Owing to this love for aircrafts The Wind rises came out telling the story of Jiro the famous Japanese engineer. Human relationships are some of the many aspects these movies emphasis upon, while many viewers may view it as a romance where one finds their better half in the journey or the adventure that they embark upon however we find Miyazaki clearly stating that, Love as for Studio Ghibli never becomes the subject of their movies rather it is showcased in a platonic way where it starts from a strong sense of friendship which in the process may lead to a life time of companionship. Could Jiro ever design those beautiful aircrafts that he states as dreams without the support of Naoko? Could Chihiro have survived  the Spirit's world if it wasn't for Haku's dedicated friendship, could little Ponyo ever leave behind her life in the depths of the ocean or her powers if it wasn’t for the love and trust her first human friend Sosuke, or could  Taeko from Only yesterday actually understand that the thing that was attracting her to the country life was not just the open saffron fields but the people and warmth that she had never received from her life in Tokyo.The idea of a protagonist and antagonists is very thin in most Studio Ghibli movies, as far as my understanding they never define any character as entirely good or bad rather they make them flexible which has the capacity to evolve. Even the cruellest of the characters are backed by circumstances of past events that made them who they were. Maybe this one feature draws us to their movies where we are left to belief that every individual has an inert innocence in their hearts no matter what life circumstances made them into. Maybe that is what the sea pirates in Porco Rosso signified who nevertheless won the hearts of many or the witch from Howl’s Moving castle or Haru (the maid) from Arriety never were entirely addressed as wicked but we see how these characters turn to a more positive life. As per women always being the lead Miyazaki was asked of his fascination to which he jokingly replied 'I love women' but the movies clearly shows their deep cited respect for women. The leads as Miyazaki stated are ‘brave, self-sufficient girls who don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They will need a friend or a supporter but never a  saviour. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man’.

Be it Kiki who went out to discover the world on her own or Umi from, From up on the Poppy Hill who looked after her boarding house in the absence of her mother and still joined hands to fight against the demolition of the clubhouse with Shun.All these reasons fall short to describe the beauty of Studio Ghibli but above all what this movies do for us is give us Hope. Hope for a better tomorrow in a already beautiful world which has so much of abundance for the one willing to indulge upon. As for Hayao Miyazaki rightly quoted ‘Life is a winking light in the darkness’ and Ghibli movies are definite representation of Life in all its shade.

[eluvisen]

OC As Companion Meme

(look at me, perpetually late to the party)

NAME: Kaelyn Prescott

FOUND: Diamond City, after Road to Freedom has been completed.

COMPANION PERK: Friends in High Places - 20% increased accuracy with sniper rifles.

 WEAPON OF CHOICE: 

Silenced 10mm

Sniper rifle

I THINK WE SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER:

“Is this for... official business? Full steam ahead, then.”

“I hope you’re taking me somewhere nice.”

“My husband would disagree, but he’s not here. Let’s go.”

“Of course, but I have to be home by six. Family dinner tonight.”

“What trouble do you have planned for today?”

“Good timing. A desk job can be tiring.”

“I’ll just leave a note for my husband. He’ll understand.”

USE MELEE:

“To think I left my swatter at home.”

“Close quarters isn't my specialty, but...”

“If that's where you need me.”

“So we're hitting and running, is that the plan?”

USE RANGED:

“Back to my favourite spot on the battlefield.”

“I’m more than happy to keep my distance from the things that want to kill us.”

“Now we’re talking.”

“I’ll be watching your back.”

OPEN INVENTORY:

“One person's junk is another's treasure, I suppose…”

“What do you want me to carry?”

“Take a look.”

“Anything you need?”

IF OVERENCUMBERED:

“You'll break your back at this rate.”

“I can lighten that load for you.”

“You really do have one of everything in your pockets, don't you?”

“We need to move faster than this. I don't want to be caught in the open.”

“Maybe we should invest in a brahmin to carry all that.”

STAY CLOSE:

“Right behind you.”

“I'll stay close.”

“Better we stick together around here.”

KEEP DISTANCE:

“Can do.”

“I'll keep my distance.”

“I'll be back there with my sniper rifle.”

“I’ll follow your lead.”

STEALTH:

“Now we're talking.”

“We'll take this carefully.”

“I'll be right behind you.”

“They'll never see us coming. Or at least they’ll never see me coming.”

BACKUP:

“Can do.”

“Sorry. I’ll take a step back.”

BE PASSIVE:

“I’d rather not pull the trigger if I don’t have to.”

“Sure, we can try talking first.”

“Pacifism is worth a shot. No pun intended.”

“Let’s try not to make any new enemies.”

BE AGGRESSIVE:

“Ready to fire when you are.”

“We’re going the fire and blood route today?”

“This doesn’t look like a friendly neighborhood we’ve wandered into.”

“If you insist.”

“Diplomacy too boring for you, I take it?”

USE STIMPAK:

“Ah, that feels better. Thanks.”

“Thanks, I needed that.”

“Gonna feel that tomorrow…”

“Nate’s going to freak when he sees this…”

  WAIT HERE:

“Waiting.”

“I’ll stay put.”

“Don’t take too long.”

  FOLLOW ME:

“Good, you’re back.”

“Let’s not waste daylight, then.”

“Lead on, then.”

DISMISSED:

“Don’t be a stranger.”

“I go, then. See you later.”

“It’s time I headed home, anyway.”

“If you need me, you know where to find me.”

“Not going to lie, I’m looking forward to seeing my husband again.”

ENEMIES (LONG RANGE)

“A part of me feels bad, but I know they don’t!”

“Let’s teach them a lesson they'll never forget.”

“Sometimes I feel bad for them. Not today!”

(Raiders) “They won’t get a chance to hurt anyone else!”

(Insects) “I hate these things!”

(Insects) “At least they’re easier to hit when they’re this big?”

(Synths/Robots) “Where’s the self-destruct button?”

(Synths/Robots) “You're off to the scrap heap!”

(Super mutants) “Super mutants? We should pick them off from a distance.”

(Feral ghouls) “Best put them out of their misery…”

(Feral ghouls) “Don’t let them close in on us!”

(Critical Kill) “Good shot!”

(Critical Kill) “Like something out of a comic book.”

  ENEMIES (CLOSE RANGE)

“You should have run while you had a chance!”

“Enemies closing in!”

“Coming in hot!”

“Hands off!”

“Oh no you don’t…”

(Insects) “I need a big flyswatter.”

(Insects) “Ugh! Disgusting.”

(Synths/Robots) “Think a factory reset will work?”

(Children of Atom) “Atom’s wrath? We’ll see about that.”

(Super mutants) “They’re somehow uglier up close.”

(Feral ghouls) “Don’t let them swarm us!”

(Mirelurks) “Great, now I’m covered in crab guts.”

WHEN ENTERING:

GOODNEIGHBOR

“Goodneighbor used to be even shadier, if you can believe it.”

“Watch your back as well as your caps stash. Both are good targets.”

“This isn’t my idea of a night on the town.”

DIAMOND CITY

“Home sweet home.”

“I need to check in on my family while we’re here.”

“Huh, D-Sec patrols have been switched up again...”

“If you look past the mud, rust and politics, it’s one of the nicest settlements in the ‘Wealth.”

BUNKER HILL

“Watch your wallet. Bunker Hill has all sorts of ways of parting you from your hard-earned caps.”

BOSTON AIRPORT

“Can you imagine all the places these planes could reach? If only we could still travel that far.”

“I wonder how many planes were in the air when the bombs dropped?”

(After Reveille has triggered) “Look at those fortifications. The Brotherhood establishing a foothold here.”

(After Reveille has triggered) “Is anyone else nervous that a foreign army is camping in the Commonwealth?”

(After Reveille has triggered) “Whatever else the Brotherhood is, they’re serious about protecting their base.”

THE PRYDWEN

“How did they build something like this?”

“The Prydwen sure is impressive. And alarming.”

“Be careful around the Brotherhood, okay?”

THE CASTLE

“When the Minutemen lost the Castle, it was the beginning of their end.”

(After Castle is restored) “I never thought I’d see the Castle restored, but here we are. Maybe we can turn the Commonwealth around.”

(After Castle is restored) “If the Castle fell once, it can fall again. I hope the Minutemen are ready to protect it.”

(After Castle is restored) “The view from the walls must be breathtaking.”

QUINCY

(Before clearing Quincy) “Quincy used to be one of the larger settlements in the ‘Wealth. Damn Gunners…”

(After clearing Quincy) “Good riddance to the Gunners. Maybe one day Quincy can thrive again.”

THE GLOWING SEA

“You know, I was planning on having children.”

“Whenever I saw the glow on the horizon, I never thought ‘it would be nice to see this up close’.”

“This place doesn’t feel real. It’s hard to believe there was ever anything else here.”

“Ground zero of the bomb…”

CONCORD

“If you ousted the raiders and put up some walls, Concord could be a decent place to settle.”

LEXINGTON

“Word is Lexington is overrun with ferals. If you trip over one, don’t scream. I don’t want to be chased through the streets by a horde.”

“If we’re quiet, we might not wake up the ferals in the streets.”

SALEM

“Salem is a good place for a witch hunt, I hear.”

“We’d best not linger here.”

LYNN WOODS

“I’ve heard this is deathclaw territory. Be on your guard.”

“A bad place to step on a stick. We don’t want to alert something nasty that we’re here.”

NAHANT

“This looks like it used to be quite the neighborhood.”

“I imagine this isn’t the same ocean view that they used to have around here.”

“There’s a rumour that a raider gang claimed the peninsula. In case the threat of sea monsters wasn’t enough for you.”

CAMBRIDGE

“I hear there used to be places of learning around here. It's a shame they're gone.”

SANCTUARY

“It would have been nice to live here. Maybe it can live up to its name again.”

AGGRESSION: not aggressive/aggressive/very aggressive/frenzied

CONFIDENCE: cowardly/cautious/average/brave/foolhardy

ASSISTANCE: helps nobody/helps allies/helps friends and allies

LOSE AS COMPANION PERMANENTLY:

Too many dislikes

Attacking the Railroad

Selling Billy to slavers in Kid in a Fridge

Killing Kent Connolly in The Silver Shroud

Siding with Covenant

Destroying Acadia 

Destroying Far Harbor

Raiding the Commonwealth for Nuka-World

PERSONAL MISSION:

After Graygarden has been recruited as a settlement, Kaelyn receives a message from her mother asking her to come home. When the player and Kaelyn enter Diamond City, they are directed to the greenhouses where Eromi works. She will show them her sickly crops and request that Kaelyn and the player find her some pesticide to curtail the problem before it creates a food crisis.

The player and Kaelyn can go to either Graygarden or Vault 81 (if the Vault is open) to collect the pesticide. Upon their return to the greenhouses, the player and Kaelyn assist Eromi fix the water distribution in the greenhouses, and, with her thanks, the quest ends.

Later, Kaelyn will receive a message from Nate that she has to return home at once. If the player does not agree to immediately travel to Diamond City, she will leave of her own accord. In the city, the player discovers that Eromi is sick from an unknown poison, more crops are dying, and Nate has been ordered to crack down on smugglers selling food in the Lower Stands.

With some investigation, the player learns that Erica Beattie, a prominent Upper Stander who owns the greenhouses, is the saboteur. She has been manufacturing a food crisis to drive up prices and cull the population of low-income citizens. When confronted, she threatens to have both Eromi and Nate fired and blacklisted to stop Kaelyn from exposing the plot.

The player can either encourage Kaelyn to fight for change (thus keeping her family in Diamond City) or protect her family (resulting in the family moving to Vault 81 to join Nate’s family). In either instance, the story is leaked to Piper, who prints a Publick Occurrences article on the sabotage, triggering protests in the Lower Stands. If Kaelyn’s family remains in Diamond City, both Eromi and Nate are fired and become the unwitting faces of the protests. If the family returns to Vaults 81, they are safe and Eromi’s expertise allows the Vault to increase the amount and quality of its produce, while the protests in Diamond City eventually fizzle out.

Tagged by @mrninjapineapple (a very long time ago)! Given I’m so late to the party, I won’t tag anyone but if you haven’t done it, feel free to give it a go!

[coffeebased]

It’s been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I’m just glad that I’m here.

Instead of doing a GIANT 2018 READING POST, I’m going to chop it up into three posts:

Favourite Books Read in 2018

2018 Reading Data and Goal-setting for 2019

2013-2018 Reading Data Trends

I was going to do a bigass one like I usually do but it just felt so daunting. Probably because I read 256 books in 2018 and it was pretty tempting to just close that Excel sheet and move on to an empty one for 2019. But what is the point of an unexamined life, anyway?

So this post is basically a listicle with summaries grabbed from Goodreads, as well as the complete list of the books I read in 2018. I really enjoyed all these books immensely and they’re all in my personal canon now.

My Top 10 Reads for 2018:

The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson

The first great adventure story in the Western canon, The Odyssey is a poem about violence and the aftermath of war; about wealth, poverty, and power; about marriage and family; about travelers, hospitality, and the yearning for home.In this fresh, authoritative version—the first English translation of The Odyssey by a woman—this stirring tale of shipwrecks, monsters, and magic comes alive in an entirely new way. Written in iambic pentameter verse and a vivid, contemporary idiom, this engrossing translation matches the number of lines in the Greek original, thus striding at Homer’s sprightly pace and singing with a voice that echoes Homer’s music.

Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

3. The World of the Five Gods by Lois McMaster Bujold

A man broken in body and spirit, Cazaril, has returned to the noble household he once served as page, and is named, to his great surprise, as the secretary-tutor to the beautiful, strong-willed sister of the impetuous boy who is next in line to rule.

It is an assignment Cazaril dreads, for it will ultimately lead him to the place he fears most, the royal court of Cardegoss, where the powerful enemies, who once placed him in chains, now occupy lofty positions. In addition to the traitorous intrigues of villains, Cazaril and the Royesse Iselle, are faced with a sinister curse that hangs like a sword over the entire blighted House of Chalion and all who stand in their circle. Only by employing the darkest, most forbidden of magics, can Cazaril hope to protect his royal charge—an act that will mark the loyal, damaged servant as a tool of the miraculous, and trap him, flesh and soul, in a maze of demonic paradox, damnation, and death

4. Noli Me Tangere by Jose Rizal, Translated by Harold Augenbraum

In more than a century since its appearance, José Rizal’s Noli Me Tangere has become widely known as the great novel of the Philippines. A passionate love story set against the ugly political backdrop of repression, torture, and murder, “The Noli,” as it is called in the Philippines, was the first major artistic manifestation of Asian resistance to European colonialism, and Rizal became a guiding conscience—and martyr—for the revolution that would subsequently rise up in the Spanish province.

5. America is Not The Heart by Elaine Castillo

Three generations of women from one immigrant family trying to reconcile the home they left behind with the life they’re building in America.

How many lives can one person lead in a single lifetime? When Hero de Vera arrives in America, disowned by her parents in the Philippines, she’s already on her third. Her uncle, Pol, who has offered her a fresh start and a place to stay in the Bay Area, knows not to ask about her past. And his younger wife, Paz, has learned enough about the might and secrecy of the De Vera family to keep her head down. Only their daughter Roni asks Hero why her hands seem to constantly ache.

Illuminating the violent political history of the Philippines in the 1980s and 1990s and the insular immigrant communities that spring up in the suburban United States with an uncanny ear for the unspoken intimacies and pain that get buried by the duties of everyday life and family ritual, Castillo delivers a powerful, increasingly relevant novel about the promise of the American dream and the unshakable power of the past. In a voice as immediate and startling as those of Junot Diaz and NoViolet Bulawayo, America Is Not the Heart is a sprawling, soulful telenovela of a debut novel. With exuberance, muscularity, and tenderness, here is a family saga; an origin story; a romance; a narrative of two nations and the people who leave home to grasp at another, sometimes turning back.

6. The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk W. Johnson

A rollicking true-crime adventure and a thought-provoking exploration of the human drive to possess natural beauty for readers of The Stranger in the Woods, The Lost City of Z, and The Orchid Thief.

On a cool June evening in 2009, after performing a concert at London’s Royal Academy of Music, twenty-year-old American flautist Edwin Rist boarded a train for a suburban outpost of the British Museum of Natural History. Home to one of the largest ornithological collections in the world, the Tring museum was full of rare bird specimens whose gorgeous feathers were worth staggering amounts of money to the men who shared Edwin’s obsession: the Victorian art of salmon fly-tying. Once inside the museum, the champion fly-tier grabbed hundreds of bird skins–some collected 150 years earlier by a contemporary of Darwin’s, Alfred Russel Wallace, who’d risked everything to gather them–and escaped into the darkness.

Two years later, Kirk Wallace Johnson was waist high in a river in northern New Mexico when his fly-fishing guide told him about the heist. He was soon consumed by the strange case of the feather thief. What would possess a person to steal dead birds? Had Edwin paid the price for his crime? What became of the missing skins? In his search for answers, Johnson was catapulted into a years-long, worldwide investigation. The gripping story of a bizarre and shocking crime, and one man’s relentless pursuit of justice, The Feather Thief is also a fascinating exploration of obsession, and man’s destructive instinct to harvest the beauty of nature.

7. Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

An unforgettable memoir in the tradition of The Glass Castle about a young girl who, kept out of school, leaves her survivalist family and goes on to earn a PhD from Cambridge University

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

8. The Wicked + The Divine, Vol. 7 and 8 by Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, André Lima Araújo, Matt Wilson, Kris Anka, Jen Bartel

In the past: awful stuff. In the present: awful stuff. But, increasingly, answers.

Modernist poets trapped in an Agatha Christie Murder Mystery. The Romantics gathering in Lake Geneva to resurrect the dead. What really happened during the fall of Rome. The Lucifer who was a nun, hearing Ananke’s Black Death confession. As we approach the end, we start to see the full picture. Also includes the delights of the WicDiv Christmas Annual and the Comedy special.

9. Mister Miracle by Tom King and Mitch Gerads

Mister Miracle is magical, dark, intimate and unlike anything you’ve read before.

Scott Free is the greatest escape artist who ever lived. So great, he escaped Granny Goodness’ gruesome orphanage and the dangers of Apokolips to travel across galaxies and set up a new life on Earth with his wife, Big Barda. Using the stage alter ego of Mister Miracle, he has made quite a career for himself showing off his acrobatic escape techniques. He even caught the attention of the Justice League, who has counted him among its ranks.

You might say Scott Free has everything–so why isn’t it enough? Mister Miracle has mastered every illusion, achieved every stunt, pulled off every trick–except one. He has never escaped death. Is it even possible? Our hero is going to have to kill himself if he wants to find out.

10. The Band, #1–2

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best — the meanest, dirtiest, most feared crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld.

Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk – or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay’s door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.

It’s time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

PHEW. Did you guys read any of those books? Did you like them? Hit me up!

The books I read in 2018:

Okay, thank you for reading. Keep a weather eye out for the next post, hopefully very soon.

My Ten Favourite Books from 2018 It's been a whole year since I posted last. Part of me wants to apologise for being gone so long, but mostly I'm just glad that I'm here.

[misssophiachase]

my mum knows your mum and they’re trying to set us up but all i can remember of you is that time you stuck gum in my hair when we were seven so i automatically don’t like you au

Miranda, what an awesome prompt (amongst all the other brilliantones you’ve sent me). Hope you like it! PS I adore the fact you wrote mum!!!! Maybe my Australianisms are rubbing off haha…you’ll notice I wrote mom for your benefit though!

Castle onthe Hill

HengraveHall, Suffolk (UK)

Caroline had seen her fair share ofwedding venues but she figured that a castle in the English countryside wasn’t abad choice.  

The ceremony was held in the hall’simpressive chapel, complete with wooden pews decorated with an abundance ofwhite peonies and brilliant stained glass windows as a backdrop. The bride,dressed in a stunning Jenny Packham creation, shed a total of two tears whilstthe groom remained stoic until the end when a small grin crossed his face justbefore they kissed.

Now, as they stood in a makeshift,white marquee on the brilliant green lawns for pre-dinner cocktails, Caroline trulyfelt like she was intruding on an intimate family moment, even if the guestlist stood at an impressive 300 people. She had a vague connection with theMikaelson family but not enough to warrant an invite to their eldest son Finn’snuptials to his childhood sweetheart, Sage.  

Her mother Liz had pleaded with herto attend the wedding when her dad pulled out at the last minute. Apparently,he’d contracted an ear infection which wasn’t optimal to a pleasant flying experience.Caroline loved her father but he was definitely the man-flu type and it alljust seemed entirely too convenient. She was fairly certain he was just excitedas she was at attending this wedding.

A trip to England wasn’t apunishment, as such, but Caroline Forbes was a workaholic and her severelyunderstaffed legal aid practice in New York couldn’t run itself. She feltguilty with every foot they climbed in altitude on their journey from JFK.

“Doesn’t Sage look stunning?” Hermother cooed, her eyes flickering over to the bride and groom who were back toshowing little emotion, even during photographs. “I can’t believe Finn is allgrown up and married.”

“You say that like you know thempersonally,” Caroline murmured, taking a long sip of champagne. “I’ll never understandyour friendship.”

“What’s there to understand? I homestayed with Esther’s family for a year during high school, we’ve been closeever since and part of each other’s families, even with the distance.”

“I know mom, you loved to squealexcitedly after the mailman paid a visit and proceeded to read her lettersaloud, all of them.”

“I know in the twenty-first centuryand the world of emails and skype you think we’re old fashioned for writing lettersbut we like it. Much like we enjoy sharing family memories like weddings. Maybeif you’re lucky she’ll come to your wedding, whenever that might be.”

“I didn’t miss the sarcasm in yourvoice, if you’re wondering,” she scoffed. “I date; I just haven’t found theright guy yet.”

“Define dating, Caroline?” Shemuttered. “You are married to your job, that’s the problem. If only you couldfind a nice boy with the same interests…”

“If you start recommending datingsites, I will walk out of here.”

“And go where exactly?” Shedrawled, raising a stray eyebrow. The castle might have been gorgeous but itwas kind of isolated. “Do me a favour and just try to enjoy yourself, darling.You never know who you might meet.”

“I don’t know anybody here.”

“Nonsense,” she shot back. “Estherbrought her children to America, you met then.”

“From what I can recall,” shebegan. “Finn was decidedly aloof and judging by the ceremony things haven’tchanged much, Elijah was too interested in his book to socialise, Rebekahdecapitated my favourite Barbie Doll and Kol completely trashed my bedroom.”

“Aren’t you forgetting someone?”She was silent for a moment, remembering the most vivid and traumatic memoryfrom their visit.

“He, who shall not be named, putgum in my hair,” she growled. When she’d taken her seat at her assigned pewbefore the ceremony she couldn’t miss the smug, crimson-lipped smile anddisarming dimple he flashed from the altar. Bastard. “You had to cut half of itoff, everyone at school teased me for months.”

“That was twenty years ago,Caroline, I think you need to move on,” she chided. “Esther tells me he’sbecome quite successful, making partner at his prestigious, London law firm last year.”

“Well, good for him,” she muttered.“Lawyers like that don’t impress me very much.”

“Like what exactly?” She’d beensurprised to hear his crisp voice interrupt their private conversation. Sheknew just how delicious he looked from her view in the chapel but this closeshe realised just how good he smelled too.  

“Niklaus,” Liz smiled, envelopinghim in an impromptu hug. “You’ve grown so much since I last saw you, I was justtelling Caroline all about your successful career.”

“Please, call me Klaus, Liz. But itsounds like she doesn’t think much of it,” he chuckled, his dark eyes searchingher light, blue ones. “And given what Caroline does, I don’t blame her.”

Caroline was trying to ignore justhow good her name sounded rolling off his tongue, not to mention her burgeoningcuriosity at just how he knew what she was doing.  “What I do?”

“Your work with legal aid in NewYork,” he replied, shocking Caroline in the process. “I have to commend you onthat recent, infant, lead pollution case against the city.”

“How do you know about that?”

“This amazing invention called theinternet, love, you should try it,” he teased. “I’m fairly certain the Mayor’soffice was regretting their decision to go toe-to-toe with the Caroline Forbes.”

“What can I say? I’m competitive,”she acknowledged, not noticing that her mother had conveniently disappeared.

“Me too,” he replied. “Although it’snot surprising given what a hard time you gave me for touching your stuff, as youliked to put it.”

“Oh, is that why you put gum in myhair? Mature, Mikaelson.”

“I was seven,” he argued. “And Iwasn’t a big fan of girl germs either. Let’s just say you were the victim of afew issues I had at that tender age.”

“So, is this your penance?”

“Penance?”

“Memorising my career thus far,”she shot back. “If anything, you just come across like a creepy stalker betweenyou and me.”

“Ouch,” he hissed. “But if you mustknow this creepy stalker is hunting for a formidable force to head up his recently created pro-bono division. For some reason you have this annoying tendency of appearingon my search lists. I tried to block your mentions but turns out you just can’t bestopped.”

“Charming. Although, I admit I havethis amazing ability to annoy people when it’s for a good cause.”

“Which is exactly why you’d be awelcome asset on team St John, Castle & Mikaelson.”

“Hang on, did my mom put you up tothis?”

“Offering you a job? As much as mymother respects her opinion I like some more solid evidence when I’mrecruiting staff.”

“Well, I have a conscience and haveno intention of being pushed to the private sector and into a division that’sobviously been created to appeal to their left leaning shareholders.”

“That’s not the case, believe it ornot. You don’t trust people, do you?” He moved closer, his eyes searching hers.

“My instincts have gotten me thisfar and I’m not quite ready to lose them just yet,” she challenged, notrealising how close they’d become and just how intensely he was now staring at thefitted, black dress she wore.    

“Mine too,” he breathed, placing astray lock of hair behind her ear. “Turns out I only put chewing gum in thehair of people I really like.”

“The answer is still no.” They heldeach other’s gaze only to be interrupted by a frazzled waiter. Caroline noticedeveryone was headed towards the ballroom for dinner, half relieved and halfdisappointed they’d be separated. Klaus Mikaelson had intrigued her, more thanshe’d ever expected.

“If you’d like to take your seatsat table three,” he gestured. Caroline was confused, assuming she’d be by hermother’s side with extremely distant relatives and friends of the Mikaelson family.  

“We’re not together,” they bothblurted, surprised by just how well timed their response was.

“But you are seated at the sametable,” he reiterated. Before Caroline could send an insult his way, they bothnoticed their mothers looking on excitedly.

“I smell a rat,” she hissed.

“If it gives me more time to sellyou on this job then I’m sure as hell not going to complain, Forbes,” Klaus laughed,taking her arm and leading her towards the table in question. Caroline wastrying to ignore just how good his hand felt resting on hers.  

“I would never work with you, evenif we were the last two people on earth,” she uttered, but feeling all resolvefade away at the same time with every step they took towards the table.

“How about if you win, I let youput gum in my hair, love?”

“You have a deal.” Caroline wantedto argue, she wanted to fight their initial attraction but turns out it couldn’tbe quelled. She took over their pro-bono division with all of the passion andenthusiasm she possessed.

After three years, her desire toput gum in his hair dissipated because she’d fallen in love with the idiot and,as Liz predicted, both families were on hand to celebrate their nuptials.  

[thetravellingvagrant]

Day 9: Cluj-Napoca – Gone Bust

Flash update 4:

This will be the last of my flash updates (which seem to, in some instances, be running as long as normal updates anyway), though don't expect the following two updates to be any more substantial, due to reasons which will become apparent as you read them.

I felt marginally better today, than I had the previous day. The churning in my guts had abated, either through time, rest, or just shitting out the problem, and I felt ready and, dare I say it, even enthusiastic to head out into the city once more to look at stuff and go “ooh”. Oohing, however, was not my only order of the day; I still needed to collect my bus ticket out of this hellhole, as well as the customary Clujian souvenir (Cluj, incidentally, is a horrible name for anything; it sounds vaguely filthy and never not gross. I'm not sure why they don't just drop it from the city's title and just have the name be the far more pleasant sounding “Napoca”).

My day began vaguely disastrously. I had planned to walk up another, different, large hill set relatively close to my apartment, and  had spied, through a precursory stab at google-mapping, what looked like a rather nice park, through which I could walk to get to the base of the big towering bastard. The park was nice for all of about twenty yards, before it began drifting further and further from the idyllic nature laden stroll I had envisaged and slowly turned grey, rusty and mechanical. I was soon walking through a yard full of broken down and disused old busses. Not quite what I had in mind but at least I had nearly broken through to the other side and so, it would soon be over. Or it would have been, rather, had the far gate been open, which it was not. With no other option, short of developing a flea-like ability to jump over the fence which now blocked me, I turned back, set to face another ten minute walk through the automotive graveyard, in order to just get back to where I started. Good.

Once there, I traced the google maps approved route to the base of the hill (as I should have done to begin with; I definitely should have been aware by now that there's apparently literally only one way to get to where you want to go in this city, no matter how clearly it appears there is an alternate route) and began my ascent.

From the distance, I had seen this hill many times before and had assumed, from my fleeting glances that it had a sheer, grey, cliff-like side, through which a path cut, however, as I approached, I realised that had I looked slightly more discerningly, I would have spotted that the grey cliff edge was actually a mess of hundreds and hundreds of tombstones, packed so tightly and so messily as to create some kind of optical illusion of verticality.

...Oh.

Regardless, I walked up the hill, which, despite not being a terrifying ninety degree trek upwards, was still fairly steep, if a little short. I soon reached the top and, after a few mandatory pictures

cleek.

pushed through to the other side and onto...a dual carriageway, leading out of the city. Great. Why are these things so shockingly difficult to avoid?

I traced the carriageway, exactly as google prescribed, towards old town, planning to plunder, albeit politely (i.e. shop in) the souvenir shops which I had taken note of the previous evening. The one that had most caught my eye was this quirky looking place that sold traditional masquerade masks and ones that were supposed to vaguely look like Dracula (Nearly every shop here seems to sell something Dracula related, as Cluj Is situated in the Transylvania region, though, it should be pointed out, is most likely a ten hour train ride away from Castle Bran.

I had apparently misremembered the location of this shop and found myself crawling around old town looking for it, for the better part of an hour, before realising that my half-hearted aide-memoire, “it's one a straight bit” could easily have applied to the other set of straight bits present in the old town, though situated a little further north-east. Sighing, I headed towards them and very quickly found the shop.

I could not have been more disappointed. The quirkyness of the shop apparently extended literally only as far as those masks and thus, once inside, I was met with a tiny little glass case full of the most boring, tacky little souvenirs I could have imagined. Out of politeness, more than anything, I perused the selection, before, super awkwardly turning to the rather stern lady who ran the place, offering a barely perceptible shrug and shake of the head and just...leaving.

I quickly found another, better souvenir shop, through sheer luck, though annoyingly, left only with a magnet and a rather natty little hand-printed dracula poster, which I had stupidly bought for myself.

Time was pushing on and the bus station to which I needed to travel (amusingly named Autogara Fany) was some distance away. I decided to walk towards it, stopping at any suitable shop I passed on my way there. Of course, I found myself walking alongside a different dual-carriageway for the majority of the distance, and so found no suitable shops. Good. It was getting late now and many of the shops would be closed anyway, so I vowed to just...do that bit of my plan tomorrow, instead.

I thought that I had sort of cracked the whole 'buying tickets' thing. I understood the process well enough to be able to comprehend exactly what was going on at a given point, regardless of language and, failing that, at least had by little translations. Fany bus depot, though, managed to throw me for a loop.

I arrived, first of all, and realised that somehow, despite this being, by far, the most developed town I had thus far found myself in, the station had reverted to, rather than one centralised ticket office, numerous smaller offices, each one specifically dedicated to one particular bus company. I could not find the company representing the bus I had previously selected and so ended up in Fany's offices, asking for a ticket in as loud and clear a voice as I could. As I did, a hush fell over the office, the three women behind the desk became instantly silent. The one I was dealing with arched an eyebrow at me. This lingered for an uncomfortable second, before she turned to her colleagues and, in weirdly secretive, hushed tones, began discussing what I had asked for.

They knew full well what I was asking for, by the way, the language barrier wasn't an issue, as I had shown them the translation on my phone. For some reason, what I had requested, though, required a ludicrous amount of discussion, rather than simply an acceptable amount of printing a ticket.

After so, so long, the woman turned back to me. “SEVENTY FEEV” she snapped. An extra twenty five over what I had expected to pay. I sighed, knowing full well that that extra 25 leu was pretty much what was going to keep me afloat, financially, by the end of the trip and handed it over. I left with my ticket to a bus later than I had initially wanted to catch, which had cost me an extra 50% on top of what I had expected to pay, feeling like a div. All in all, not my favourite experience of the trip.

By now, my feet were aching, and on my left trotter, I could feel emergent blisters, beginning to form, oddly on my toes, rather than the balls of my feet (my theory at this point, is that the lovely warm, thick socks I had been wearing almost exclusively up until this point were made of slightly too rough a fabric for huge amounts of walking) and so I decided to return home. Only a forty five minute walk stood in between me and that.

I limped back to old town and took heart in the fact that I was only around fifteen more minutes away from home and, once there, I could make myself another bowl of that truly glorious pasta dinner I had been enj-ah, shit. I forgot. My last voyage to flavourtown had finished up my remaining peppers and onions. I needed to buy more, if I didn't want to eat just pasta and sauce. I groaned, hung my head for a second and then span on my feet. An action, which, if I'm honest, only exacerbated the blisters.

After another fifteen minute detour and a now twenty minute walk back to the apartment, I was finally home. Ruined. I slumped into bed and after the requisite period of cursing the fact that I was even alive, had recovered enough to make my dinner. I did and it was every bit as glorious as I had hoped. For the second night in a row, I passed out, without fully realising I had even decided to go to bed.

[padfootagain]

Guardians of Middle-Earth (II)

Chapter 2 : Death And Trust

Here comes the second chapter of 'Guardians of Middle Earth'! If you've missed the first chapter, you can check it out in my masterlist, the link is in my blog description.

Lots of things are going on in this chapter as I settle the story. I hope you like it. Again, I've separated the paragraphs of two different timelines with these '-----' and paragraphs belonging to the same timeline with those '***'.

There will be scenes of violence through this fic (including this chapter), so if you don't feel comfortable with that, you shouldn't read what follows.

Please, tell me what you think about it, it's so important to me to know if you liked it!

The beautiful aesthetic was made by @marvelcapsicle

Word count : 12 126

It was raining. In the great hall of stone, they could hear the raindrops crashing against the stones and the roof, and the wind roaring through the castle. Eldarion drank a gulp of water, his throat slightly dry. Everyone in the hall was carefully listening to his words. He felt strange before so much interest. He had lost the habit, perhaps, to be the centre of attention. Before his journey East, he was often stared at, but no one was asking him anything. He was the Prince, and was thus respected, but he was only a Prince. His father was the one who was listened to. He had never been prepared in Minas Tirith to be the one towards whom everyone turns in the most desperate moment, when the shadows are the thickest upon the world and that no hope seems to shine in the horizon. But in the East, it had been a very different story. He had found himself a charisma that kept hope alit in his friends' eyes, and made his enemies shudder. He had led, and advised, and ruled... He had shouted speeches before thousands of men, defended halls of stones and wood, he had killed, and fought, and almost died more than once. He had risen again after falls that were so high he didn't know which miracle had allowed him to be standing once more. He had done much more than what he had been sent away for. He was a strong and respectful grown man now.

But before the judges aligned before and around him, he felt like a child all over again. Despite his tall and strong silhouette, he felt little and weak under the high roof of stone. The statues around him seemed to look at him disapprovingly. And the stare his father was throwing at him was piercing his heart. He didn't look like he trusted his son. He looked like he had been betrayed. And the mere thought that his father could imagine for just a second that Eldarion had betrayed him was unbearable to the Prince. It was the worst part of this whole thing, since he had been back to Minas Tirith : these constant questions, the inquisitional glances, the reprobating looks, the little frowns... As if tales about his journey had reached the white City before he could come back. And Eldarion couldn't say that he was surprised. The Guard had voluntarily wrapped his journey in mystery and secrets, it was only a logical consequence that lies had formed in their wakes.

Still, it was painful for him to look at his father...

"Where did you go first?" Eomer asked him.

Eldarion put down his glass of water next to his chair, before answering to the King of Rohan.

"Ana thought it was important for us all to train together, before rushing into the wild. The advantage of being six was that we could split the group in three pairs, and thus be much more efficient. It was obvious the two dwarves would be paired together, but it was something else entirely for the rest of us."

"What do you mean?" Faramir asked Eldarion.

"The two dwarves are brothers, and are both skilled in very different areas. It was important to create pairs that were as complete in skills as possible. Eoden and I, for example, are both strong and good swordsmen, when Adhalan has always preferred archery. It was obviously more interesting to pair Adhalan with Eoden or myself than to gather the two men together."

"And yet the two dwarves remained united," Faramir pointed out.

Eldarion shrugged.

"They are brothers, there is nothing you could ever say to separate them. It was obvious really. The only question that remained was for the four of us."

"How did you decide?"

Eldarion cleared his throat, shifting on his uncomfortable tool. No one knew where they had gone, even then, at the very beginning of their journey.

"We aimed for Ithilien first," the Prince answered slowly. "It was safe, and we would have supplies in food and water for a while, we could take a bit of time to know each other better... It was a good way to start smoothly."

"You lost time then, is that it?" the Master of Lake-Town asked him suspiciously.

"I wouldn't say that," Eldarion answered elusively.

"What happened in Ithilien?" Faramir asked the Prince.

A sad smile appeared on the Prince's face.

"Many things, indeed..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Five Years Earlier

Ithilien

The sun was warm on his skin. Birds were singing in the trees, the scent of flowers carried by the soft breeze tickled his nose. He loved Ithilien. He had been there several times with his parents, and he reckoned it was his favourite part of Gondor. It was strange for him to think of Ithilien as a part of his kingdom actually, the nature and the life there was too wild and free, and he didn't think that these lands could belong to any man. It was nature and wilderness in its softest form. He could hear the rushing of a waterfall coming to his ears. He breathed deeply the pure and cool air, and let it fill up his lungs. But he was soon torn away from his reverie by the sound of the Witch's voice walking before him.

"We should hurry," Ana said. "We need to reach the Pool before nightfall."

"The Pool?" Eoden asked. "Where is this place?"

"Not far," Ana reassured him.

"I thought we were aiming for the edge of the Dead Marshes, before heading North, to walk around the water."

"There is first something I'd like to check," she answered elusively. "And we'll need a safe shelter."

Eldarion looked cautiously at the woman.

"Why... you are keeping secrets already," he said, the bitterness in his tone badly hidden.

She froze, turning around to stare back at the man who walked behind her. She didn't like him. She had felt since the beginning that it was a mistake to bring him along, but now she was absolutely certain that it was an awful idea. She knew he wasn't evil. He wasn't idle. He wasn't complaining. He was quite funny, actually, he had a good sense of humour.

But he was a prince.

Though he didn't look at them as his inferiors, she could see in the way he held himself that he had been taught to look like he was superior. He was fragile despite his muscular silhouette. He had never known pain, and it was one of the most dangerous things about him, that could bring doom upon their group. He didn't know enough about life...

She didn't like him, and the situation between the two had not improved since they had left the White City, only a few days before.

"Perhaps I just don't trust you," she snapped.

He flinched, but quickly regained his composure. He stood a bit straighter, if possible, in a very royal way.

Ana thought she might throw up.

"I would be grateful if you did not insult me," he said, frowning slightly with his growing anger.

"It was not an insult, merely an honest statement."

"Can I at least know why you refuse to trust me at all?"

"I don't trust politicians."

"I am no politician."

"What are you then? A warrior? Let me laugh..."

"Please."

Eoden jumped before the two of them before any could add another mean remark.

"And I thought we were all adults here," Eoden sighed.

"It's not my fault if..." Eldarion began.

"Please, we have heard enough bickering for one day," the Rohirrim interrupted him.

Ana rolled her eyes, and resumed her walk among the trees, her soft steps shushed by the smooth grass.

"Why do we have to hurry anyway?" Urin protested. "We are in Gondor still. These lands are safe."

"Yes, but I will need to go after the night has fallen if I want to reach the place I seek discreetly," Ana replied.

"Are you saying that you are planning on going there alone?" Adhalan asked.

"Adh..."

But the elf took her arm, forcing the Witch to turn around and face her friend.

"You are not invincible. It is the reason why you have not been sent alone."

"I do not need your help to achieve what I am about to do..."

"We said we would split into pairs," Eldarion said. "You should at least bring one of us with you."

"Listen to the child," Adhalan nodded, ignoring Eldarion's wince at the name she had used for him. "He speaks wisdom now. At least one of us should go with you."

Ana sighed.

"Alright... But first, let's hurry. We must find shelter for tonight."

"Where are we heading?" Goin asked, panting to keep up the pace set by the Witch.

"Henneth Annûn," she answered.

Eldarion smiled. For long he had wanted to see the legendary waterfall, where Faramir and his men had lived when Mordor was still a shadow menacing the world, and the Ring of Power was still in Middle-Earth.

"Have you ever been there?" Eoden asked the young man.

Eldarion shook his head.

"But I have heard many tales about this place. "

"Faramir used it during the War," Ana added.

"I thought no one but the soldiers of Gondor could go there," Adhalan said, frowning slightly as she looked at her best friend with worried eyes. "I thought that anyone who would go there but Men of Gondor would be sentenced to death."

"Lucky for us we have a man of Gondor with us then," Ana replied, without looking at Eldarion. "Besides, I doubt that Faramir would sentence me to death for using our old shelter."

"Our shelter?" asked Eldarion, raising up an eyebrow. "Do you mean that you have been there before?"

Ana stopped, catching her breath after having climbed a little hill. The rest of the group soon joined her, and they all looked at her as she stared into nothing, her eyes set upon the blue sky and the green leaves, though they could only see visions from her past.

"It was a long time ago," she said softly, and her expression was gentle and sad all of a sudden. "It was before Sauron was defeated. It was before Strider became Elessar. It was before the Elves all left these lands. It was in a time when we needed to fight to be free... It was in another life. "

She looked at Eldarion, her wild green eyes piercing through him to his soul.

"It was during the War..."

She looked away again, and walked down the hill.

"Come on, we still have a long way to go."

********************************************

The sun was falling at what seemed to be an incredibly great speed. The fire that the golden orb had set to the sky was bathing everything around the travellers. A scent of flowers and sugary fruits floated in the air. Eldarion couldn't understand why the Witch was in such a hurry. She was almost running throughout the wild woods of Ithilien, when all the man wanted to do was walk slowly through the generous nature that surrounded them. Behind him, he could hear the heavy panting of the two dwarves as they struggled to keep up the pace set by their guide.

"We're almost there," Ana reassured her friends, glancing over at the tired dwarves.

"I hope for you... that a comfortable bed... awaits us there," Goin stuttered between his heavy breathing.

"I would not have much hope if I were you," Ana replied. "No one has used this shelter for years."

She suddenly stopped, and Eldarion looked up to follow her gaze across the wilderness. He remained struck by awe.

He had imagined the hidden shelter in a million different ways. His father and Faramir often spoke of this place as their conversation often drifted to the days of the War they had fought together. Eldarion's memories about his childhood were painted with those scenes : the King of Gondor and the Prince of Ithilien, sitting in the gardens under the cherry trees in blossom, their gazes lost on the remaining mountains of the Dark Land, speaking about the dark days they had survived to. The King would carry his young son upon his laps, and talk to him about Wargs, and Orcs, and Goblins and Faramir would tell him about the raids he led in Ithilien, and the armies of Mordor... until the little boy, his head full with stories and his eyes drenched with tiredness, would fall asleep in his father's arms. And in his dreams, he would walk through the curtain of water that hid the entrance to this sanctuary lost in the Enemy's lands. But nothing had prepared him to the sight that laid before his eyes.

The water glistened with the golden light of the sinking sun, and every droplet of water looked like a drop of liquid sun. The wild flowers that grew on the rocks coloured with rich and joyful shades the cascade. The pool that laid before the waterfall and in which the wild waters fell in a loud and yet soft cry, alit with the burning fire of the last lights of the day as well, seemed to be made of pure gold. Eldarion didn't know how high the fall was, but he was feeling like a very little thing before this prowess of nature.

He started when Eoden put a hand on his arm, tearing him away from his thoughts.

"I have to say, that it is quite a beautiful sight," the Rohirrim smiled, as he looked with amused eyes at the awe that shone in his friend's eyes.

"Indeed," Eldarion breathed, looking sheepishly at the ground, as he followed the others towards the pool.

They slowly climbed the old staircase hidden in the stone that led to a passage behind the waterfall. By the time they climbed to the top, trying to avoid the broken rocks and the slipping stones, it was almost night. Darkness had covered the path before their feet, and as they reached the curtain of water, the moon was rising slowly from the horizon. Eldarion followed the Witch through the darkness, leaving the dark purple sky as a ceiling for a moist and cold sky of rocks. There was no stars for now to light their way, and soon, after only a few steps into the cave, they couldn't see their own feet.  Eldarion made a movement towards his bag, but Ana let out a little laugh that stopped him.

"No need for fire," she told him over her shoulder.

She made a slight movement of her hand, and all the old torches that still hung at the walls were suddenly alit with bright flames. Eoden patted the young man's shoulder.

"You will get used to it. Do not worry, my friend."

Eldarion merely nodded in response, and he followed the smiling Witch further into the cavern.

The debris of an ancient hiding place were still visible under the thick layer of dust that time had poured on the cave. And old wooden table still stood there, in the middle of the large room, chairs rested against the walls, an old chest barely visible under the dust was set in a corner... There were still weapons hanging at the walls, or leaning against the wet stones, as if they were ready to be taken by the next warrior that would pass this way, as if time had stopped there, in this wet and cold cave carved in the strong stones, and was waiting for new soldiers to hide there. Eldarion put down his bag, and took a look around, walking further into the cave, whilst the others were preparing a fire.

"When did you come here exactly?" Eldarion asked the Witch, as he opened a chest covered with dust and dirt.

It was full of old maps, and when he picked one up, and unfolded the old and fragile parchment that looked as if it was going to disappear between his fingers, he could see the old boundaries of his Kingdom. Red crosses seemed to indicate camps. The camps of the Enemy...

"I fought among Men for a while," she answered softly. "Gandalf sent me South to keep an eye on the Cities of Men."

She seemed sad, tortured even, at the mention of her past.

"I did not mean to upset you," Eldarion told her, his voice gentle and understanding. "I am sorry, I should not have asked..."

"There is nothing wrong in being curious," she reassured him, though her tone was quite cold.

Eldarion decided not to talk about this subject anymore, but Ana spoke again, and the Prince didn't dare to interrupt her.

"I remained under the shadow of Mordor almost as long as the Hobbits' journey lasted. I did not walk out of Ithilien but to follow Faramir and his men to Osgiliath, and then to fight at Minas Tirith."

They all sat down around the fire, and Adhalan picked up some elven bread from her bag, giving a piece of the energetic food to each of them.

"I do not like to talk about the past," the Witch confessed. "We do not live in such a world anymore... or at least I hope we don't."

Her gaze drifted towards the curtain of water on her left, and she seemed to be watching at scenes that had been playing in her head many times since they happened for real. Her right hand came resting upon her stomach, and she remained still for a while. When she spoke again, her voice sounded far away, and was barely audible above the sound of the thundering waterfall.

"I hope so many deaths were not in vain..."

She shuddered, coming back to reality, and she set her green, infinite gaze upon the Prince of Gondor. He felt stupid for staring at her so intensely, but he couldn't help it somehow.

"Does your father talk to you about the War?" she asked him.

Eldarion couldn't think of any other moment when she had spoken to him with a tone that was neither cold nor distant. It sounded honest on the contrary, as if she hoped to finally have someone with whom she could talk about demons that kept torturing her at night.

"Well..." Eldarion mumbled, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. "He told me everything there is to know about... 'History'. Not much about the reality of it, I have to say."

"The reality of it?" Eoden asked.

"How it feels, how it makes him feel... He told me the glorious side of it. But I have never been able to imagine how war could bring glory to anyone. I imagine it... more like a nightmare of some kind."

No one spoke for a while. Ana was intensely staring at him. But her glance was not cold. Eldarion could even guess that she agreed. After a few minutes, he started to shift, feeling uneasy under the green stare of the With.

"What is it?" he asked her.

Ana shook herself, looking down at the loaf of bread she hadn't started to eat yet. A small smile formed on her lips.

"Nothing I... I am merely beginning to think... that I might have been wrong about you."

She looked up at him again.

"But it's just a guess for now."

Eldarion nodded, an encouraging smile on his lips.

"I hope I will turn this guess into a certitude," he said.

"We shall see quite soon, I'm sure."

Ana stood up, handing back her bread to Adhalan.

"I am not hungry, thank you. I think I will sleep now. I must leave before sunrise."

"Someone must go with you, wherever it is that you are heading to," Goin insisted again.

"Where are you going anyway?" Eldarion asked the Witch. "Why are you setting so much mystery around it?"

She looked intensely at him again. The ghost of a smile appeared on her lips as a thought crossed her mind.

"Well, if you want so much to know, perhaps you could be my bodyguard?" she said, an amused smile now perfectly shaping her lips.

Eldarion did not hesitate for a second.

"Of course I will come with you."

"Good, it's settled then."

The Witch walked out of the cave, and went sitting outside, next to the waterfall. She looked up at the stars that were slowly appearing into the sky, fluttering memories that reminded her of a past she hoped to forget one day.

She didn't need to turn around to recognize the sound of Adhalan's steps coming her way.

"Are you certain?" Adhalan asked her friend bluntly, standing next to her and peering down at her with eyes full of doubt. "About bringing the child with you."

"He is no child, Adhalan," Ana answered, not detaching her gaze from the dark sky.

"He looks like one," the Elf replied.

"Let's hope you are wrong, my friend. We need no child on this journey."

"I could come with you..."

But the Witch shook her head.

"We need to get along," she said. "I... For the sake of this mission, I need to learn to trust him, or to know him better at least."

Adhalan nodded.

"I guess you are right, but you could..."

"It will be a good thing for us to be together for a few days, alone I mean. I will try not to strangle him out of annoyance..."

"If he is not able to defend himself..."

Ana stood up, shaking her head.

"Strider would have never sent his son if he did not think he was able to look after himself. And Aragorn is one of the best swordsmen in Middle-Earth. I am sure he taught his son everything there is to know about fighting... and surviving."

"I hope you are right..."

"I hope so myself. Anyway, you should not be worried. I am not planning on taking any risks this time."

"And what are you planning on doing then?"

Ana looked at the wild lands before her once more.

"Many things indeed..."

********************************************

He started when he was torn away from his dreams by the feeling of a hand touching his upper-arm. He had been dreaming about his mother. He kept dreaming about his family ever since he had left the White City. He had seen her standing there, under the White Tree in full bloom, white petals falling on her dark hair. She was turning around, smiling at him, when he had been awakened.

"It's time to go," Ana told him.

He cleared his throat, managing to open both his eyes simultaneously, and nodded. He sat up quickly, and hurried to get ready.

He knew they needed to get along. For the sake of the mission, they needed to trust each other. If his life was at stake, he needed to know she would be there for him, and he needed to show her that he would be there for her as well. But there was more to it... He felt drawn to her somehow. He felt like he needed to know her better, that he needed to understand her, that... It was a very strange feeling he didn't know how to name. He felt like it was somehow his destiny to fight by her side.

He was torn away from his thoughts when the Witch talked to him again.

"Are you ready then?" she asked.

He nodded, and followed her outside.

"Where are we going then?" he asked as they reached the muddy ground.

A fresh breeze blew across the forest, making the branches bend slightly, the leaves whispering secrets of their own. Ana turned towards the man by her side.

"I want to go see a friend first. Then, we will have to check something."

"What is it?"

They started to walk away from the waterfall, and deeper into the woods.

"After the Ring of Power was destroyed," Ana said softly, slowly, her voice low, "Mordor fell. What Sauron had darkened died and disappeared with the Evil Master who had created them. But the shadows that lay on these lands will never really disappear. The earth has known too much evil for too long to forget. That's why beasts and trees still refuse to go there, just like men of Gondor flee before these Mountains."

"I do not understand why we have to go there," Eldarion admitted, his heart tightening in his chest at the thought of going in those desolated parts of Middle-Earth.

"Evil men live there. They remained near Nurn after the fall of Sauron, or came there after he was destroyed, no one really knows. They are far away, and I doubt that their eyes are turned towards Gondor. But I heard that some had come to what was once Minas Morgul. I need to know if these rumours are true."

Eldarion nodded.

"And you think that only the two of us will be enough to deal with them?"

"I do not intend to fight, merely to take a look at whatever is going on there."

Eldarion nodded again.

"I see. But we won't be there until tomorrow noon, at least."

"I guess you will have to bear my presence for longer than you thought."

"I do not dislike your company. As long as you do not try to insult me."

"I do not insult you. I'll try to make more efforts."

"And I will try to make some as well."

Ana looked at him again. Her pace was slow now. Eldarion even thought that she did not want to go see this old friend of hers. He wondered if this person was really friendly to her, or if she had used sarcasm.

"Did your father taught you the way of the Rangers of the North?" she asked him.

Eldarion nodded.

"Some at least," he answered.

"What about scouting?"

"I can be silent enough, if this is the sense of your question."

"It is."

"You can be reassured then. I know how to walk through the woods without being heard."

"Good. We will need this skill of yours."

Suddenly, there was no canopy above them. Eldarion looked up at the sky, black infinite stained with balls of cold lights. He finally realized that they had arrived to one of the roads that crossed Ithilien. The wind was stronger now, and was making the leaves sing in a hushed and trembling whisper that accompanied their walk through the wild.

"If I may ask..." Eldarion said after a long silence. "Why did you guide us to Henneh Annûn, if you wanted to go to Minas Morgul? We could have crossed the Anduin at Osgiliath, and pass by the Cross-roads."

She seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden, and she tried to ignore his question. But he insisted. Birds were already singing the song of the coming morning, and the crickets were louder than ever around them.

"It would have not been very discreet to accompany the Prince of Gondor throughout Osgiliath, don't you think?" she answered. "Someone would have recognized you, that is certain."

"You could have saved us such a detour though, even if you did not desire to take us through Osgiliath."

"I did not want the others to know where we are going," she confessed.

"Why?"

She stared at him for a while, before finally answering.

"Because they would not have let me go there," she answered.

He forced her to stop and to look up at him in the eyes.

"What are you up to?" he asked.

But his tone was not angry. He sounded curious, nothing more.

"I guess... that you will find out by yourself sooner or later," she replied elusively.

He could hear sadness in her voice. She was expecting him to insist, but he merely nodded instead, and they resumed their walk down the road. As they didn't walk in the wet grass and the bushes anymore, they were walking much faster, though Eldarion couldn't help but notice that the Witch wasn't walking as fast as she could have. The sun was slowly rising above them, and as they marched closer to Ephel Duath, Eldarion suddenly realised that there was no sound around them anymore, but the thud noise of their footsteps on the dirt.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Present days

Minas Tirith

"So... you had barely left the White City that you were already wasting your time!"

The Master of Lake Town could not hold back his irritation any longer. He had not yet forgiven the Guard for what had happened in his City a few years before, and he was still especially bitter over the Prince of Gondor.

"I have to say that I do not understand much about your story," Eomer said softly.

Eldarion shrugged.

"You asked me..."

But he was interrupted by the opening of the great doors behind him. He couldn't refrain a smile as he distinguished the silhouettes of three hobbits hurrying behind two guards of the Citadel. They hurried towards the King of Gondor, who had stood up from his comfortable chair.

"I am sorry your Highness..." one of the guard stuttered. "But they insisted on seeing you now."

"Do not be sorry, they were expected to arrive today," the King reassured his guard, before warmly greeting his old friends.

Finally noticing the Prince sitting in the middle of the room, Merry, Pippin and Sam suddenly abandoned Aragorn and hurried to join Eldarion. A part of the Kings and Lords gathered in the Hall rolled their eyes, except for those who knew the hobbits well, and those Lords merely smiled at the sight of the hobbits all hugging the young man.

"How are you?" Merry asked him, concern painted all over his face. "Are they treating you right?"

Eldarion let an amused smile appear on his lips.

"We are in the Halls of my father, Merry. Do you really think that they would hurt me in any way? At least before the trial has ended?"

Pippin and Sam turned their outraged faces towards the assembly.

"You should all be ashamed!" Pippin said, his voice shaking with anger. "How can you think for just a second that Eldarion could murder someone?!"

"I warn you, if anyone tries to hurt this lad, he shall have me and the entire Shire to deal with!" Sam warned the Kings who sat before him.

Eldarion couldn't help but chuckle. He put a soothing hand on the hobbits' shoulders.

"My friends, do not worry about me. I am certain all this will be sorted out just fine. Why don't you take a seat, instead of shouting warnings to these mighty lords?"

"Mighty lords or not, I dare any of them to try to get close to you," Pippin said firmly.

He turned towards Aragorn, his infuriated expression still painted on his face.

"And you can be sure that you shall not have any pipe weed or any goods coming from the Shire as long as your son has not been released. We are closing our borders and stopping all commercial alliances with your Kingdom, in a gesture of protest against this whole big joke that this trial is!"

Aragorn was left speechless. He was struggling to decide if he ought to get angry or to laugh.

"Pippin, please. There is no need for such extreme decisions," Eldarion tried to soothe the hobbit.

"Why would you not take a seat?" Aragorn said slowly, still aghast. "We were only at the beginning of Eldarion's tale."

The look he threw to his son made the Prince's heart break. It seemed that his father had learnt many things about his son's journey, and Eldarion knew much of them were lies. But he doubted now that his father would believe him if he denied the stories the King had heard, and it was breaking his heart.

The hobbits walked towards the chairs that were brought for them next to Elessar, and they remained quiet for a while, and let the trial continue, though Aragorn knew that he would have to deal with new outbursts from his friends before the day was ended.

"So... you were saying that you walked with the Witch for a few days, after you had reached Ithilien. " Faramir said, bringing back the attention of the Lords gathered in the Hall of Minas Tirith onto the young man sitting before them, "You said you were heading towards Minas Morgul."

At the mention of the dreadful fortress, Sam winced, but he didn't speak a word.

"Indeed, we walked together, following the ancient road," the Prince answered. "We did not come across anyone on our journey, it was just the two of us all along. I cannot say that it was a most pleasurable journey, as we still had troubles in our partnership, but we managed to remain courteous all along."

"I have heard that you and the Witch were quite close friends though," Aldir said in a frozen voice.

The Prince of the Easterlings, the man who was accusing Eldarion of murder, had not yet spoken since the trial had begun. He had merely stared at Eldarion, glowered at him, but he had not spoken a word yet. Eldarion merely looked cautiously at him, sitting a bit straighter on his stool.

He knew why Aldir was saying this... And he was not ready to talk about the nature of his relationship with the Witch. It was a way too complicated relationship indeed.

"We became much closer with this journey in Ithilien, actually," Eldarion answered, weighing the meaning of every single one of his words.

"And what about this friend of hers? Did you find him?" Eomer asked.

Eldarion nodded slowly, and he seemed rather sad for a moment. He seemed reluctant at talking about what they had seen in Ithilien together.

"We have indeed."

"And? Who was he?" Eomer insisted as the Prince didn't seem to be willing to pursue.

Eldarion looked up at the King of Rohan.

"We arrived at the Cross-Roads," he said slowly. "He was there."

"He was waiting for you?"

Eldarion stared intensely into the King's glance, and it was obvious that it required much of his strengths to let the words pass his lips. All could see that he had never talked about this to anyone before.

"I would not say it like this, your Highness..." Eldarion said slowly. "Though, I guess you can say that he had been waiting for many years..."

"I do not understand," Faramir admitted.

Eldarion looked at him.

"There was no one there. No one came back to live in those lands after the War, not so closely to the Mountains. There was nothing there. Nothing... but a tomb."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five years earlier

Ithilien

What he first noticed was the statue of the King. The head of the leader had been replaced once by a rough sketch of the Great Eye, but after the fall of Barad-dur, after the lands of Ithilien had been freed from the Enemy's servants, the statue had been cleaned and repaired, and the proud figure was standing sternly above the Cross-Road again, keeping a careful watch upon the roads. Eldarion was suddenly feeling uncomfortable, as if something terrible had happened there. There was no sound at all around them, they were too close to the dark mountains, and even the trees seemed to start to get less and less tall, less green, less welcoming. He felt like he was not wanted in this land.

"You may wait for me here, I must go alone from now on. I will come back for you, and we shall go to Minas Morgul together," Ana suddenly told him.

Eldarion frowned.

"Why should I remain behind?"

"Why? Are you afraid of remaining here on your own?" she tried to escape from his question.

But the man was not fooled.

"You still do not trust me at all, do you?"

"I thought we had agreed to remain courteous."

"I am being courteous. It is obvious though that your behaviour towards me is still unchanged. Why can I not come with you?"

She turned around to face him, but he didn't find the anger he was expecting to see on her graceful face. Instead, she seemed sad, suffering even, and when she spoke again, her voice was soft and gentle.

"I need to go alone. I am not going to be in danger. I just need to do this on my own. And it has nothing to do with my trust in you. Please, do not insist for coming with me."

How could he say no to these infinite green eyes when they seemed so sad...?

"Alright," he nodded slowly, his tone matching hers as he spoke in a warm and low voice. "But I do not feel comfortable here. These lands are still ravaged by sorrow and grief. A shadow still lays on this part of Ithilien. I do not wish to leave you alone for too long."

An amused smile appeared on her lips.

"What now... Are you worried about me?" she asked, an amused glint alit in her eyes.

He gently smiled.

"I guess it is my role here, is it not? Am I not supposed to be your bodyguard?"

She let out a wave of laughter, and the whole world around them seemed to be much brighter than before, as if the darkness that had remained there for years were momentarily chased away. He guessed that it was one of her powers as a Witch.

"I shall give you twenty minutes," Eldarion said more seriously. "If you are not back by then, I will come looking for you."

"It may take longer than twenty minutes," Ana protested.

"Then I guess I shall meet this friend of yours after all."

Ana nodded, defeated. She knew he was too stubborn, she would not change his mind. He was like his father on this point...

"Alright then. I shall see you in twenty minutes."

And without another word, she turned around, left the road, and walked through the trees, leaving Eldarion behind, standing alone in the middle of the Cross-Road, the stern figure of the king of stone watching him.

********************************************

After twenty minutes he couldn't take any more of it. A terrible feeling was tightening his throat, crushing his heart under his ribs. He felt like he was watched, he imagined spying eyes in every shadows, whispering voices in every hushed sound of the breeze. Though the sun was shining quite brightly still, it seemed pale and the rays of sunshine were cold on his skin. He now understood why this part of Ithilien was still avoided by the men of his Kingdom. There was a shadow clouding the warmth of the sun...

He advanced towards the trees behind which the woman had disappeared. His father had taught him how to follow the traces of someone in the wilderness, and without any difficulty, he followed the path the Witch had taken. It took him almost ten minutes to find her again. And he remained frozen on the spot when he saw her silhouette kneeling on the ground.

There was no one with her. She was alone, kneeling there, her back to him, in the middle of a clearing. It was a mere circle of dry grass, with no flowers nor bushes, as if the land had been burnt by a fire a few weeks before. Eldarion could feel in his heart that something terrible had happened there...

The Witch was motionless, her head down, she looked like she was praying. The Prince of Gondor immediately regretted to have come there. He should have left her alone, he could feel it, although he couldn't understand what the woman was doing there, kneeling still on the grass. He took a step back, willing to disappear and to wait for her a few meters away. But he stopped at the sound of her voice.

"There is no need for you to go," she said softly. "I was about to leave anyway."

"I did not mean to interrupt you..." the Prince said, uncomfortable.

She stood up, but remained still for a moment, her back to him. Eldarion caught the sound of a whisper, and a few seconds later, a single white rose grew at the Witch's feet. She then turned around to face him.

He could not help but notice her reddened eyes, though when she spoke again her voice was firm and neutral.

"You can ask, you know?" she said. "I know you must be dying to ask about what I was doing."

He intensely stared at her for a while, before slowly shaking his head.

"I do not think you would like to talk about this," he said, his voice gentle.

It was her turn to intensely stare at him.

"It's kind of you," she whispered.

He merely shrugged in answer.

"Are you certain that you do not need more time on your own?" Eldarion asked kindly. "I can wait for you at the Cross-Roads if you wish."

She shook her head, walking to him.

"No, there is no need. But thank you for offering."

"Let's go then."

He made a movement to turn around and go, but she stopped him. They stared at each other for a moment, and she opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head.

"You can tell me when you trust me," Eldarion shushed her.

She gave him a small smile, and nodded, before following him through the trees, heading towards the road once more.

*******************************************

Eldarion looked cautiously over the rock behind which he was hiding. The smell of rotting meat was making him sick. He had more and more difficulties to control his nausea. The dark earth seemed like burnt, and the dust it created was making his throat dry. His eyes were stinging as he struggled to pierce the thick veil of darkness before him, and was at the same time blinded by the intense light of the fire that burnt a few meters before him. The dark ruins of Minas Morgul that stood above and around him were freezing his blood in his veins. It was hard for him to control the shakiness in his hands and the rhythm of his breathing. All he wanted to do was leave this place as fast as possible. He could feel the evil that still lingered in every rock, in every broken wall, every burnt piece of wood, even the air was filthy and burnt his throat. He just wanted to run away from there. But he knew he couldn't...

He felt Ana shifting next to him.

"What can you see?" she whispered.

He started to silently count.

"Nine men," he whispered. "All armed."

"Only nine?"

"There are two dogs as well."

"I guess it must explain the smell..."

"Yes, they are eating some rotten meat."

"And the men?"

"They are talking, but I cannot hear anything from here."

She remained silent for a moment, before asking him one more question.

"Are you sure that there are only nine men?" she asked, still partly lost in thought.

"I can see only nine of them," he nodded. "But perhaps there are more hiding somewhere."

"Well, take a better look then," she said.

He glared at her, and she rolled her eyes.

"You have elven blood running in your veins," she said. "You have a much better sight than I do."

He frowned slightly, but took another look over the rock anyway, taking care at remaining safely hidden.

"I cannot see any more men."

She looked intensely at him.

"But what does your instinct say?" she asked.

He furrowed his brow.

"I am afraid I do not understand the meaning of your words, Ana."

She heaved a sigh.

"The blood of the Rangers of the North and the blood of the elves run through your veins. You must trust your instinct. You must see with more than your eyes."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Now, how many men are out there?" she asked again. "Only nine? Are you sure?"

He looked at the men before him again. They were laughing loudly, drinking alcohol. Their clothes seemed to have been worn for too many winters.

"Come on, think," she said softly. "If you cannot see everything, then guess what is hidden to your eyes."

But Eldarion could not see anything more, and the educative tone of the Witch was beginning to annoy him.

"Why do you not take a look yourself?" he asked.

She could hear the annoyance in his tone. He was surprised to say the less when he felt her hand resting on his forearm in a soothing gesture.

"If you want to survive into the Wild and into the strange lands where we will wonder, you must learn to listen to every part of you. You must listen to the man, but also to the elf."

He looked at her for a moment, before focusing on the group of rogue men before them. He finally noticed swords leaning against a wooden chest. It was too dark for him to distinguish how many there were...

"I need the elf now, Eldarion," she whispered, her voice soft and gentle. "Look."

He narrowed his eyes, and despite the darkness, he could barely distinguish the sheath... But he could count after a while.

One, two, three...

A man passed before the weapons to pour himself another glass of wine.

Seven, eight, nine...

The dogs started to bark loudly. He could hear their breathing from afar. It seemed to him that he could have almost understood the words the men spoke.

Ten, eleven, twelve.

"There are twelve swords," he whispered.

Ana nodded.

"They're not all there then."

Eldarion shook his head, still staring at the scene before him. She could hear his breathing quickening.

"Are you alright?" she asked, suddenly worried.

She was afraid she would have pushed him too much too quickly. They had left the White City only ten days before...

"Something is coming towards us," he whispered, turning towards the Witch. "I can hear it coming."

"From where?" she asked.

"Behind you."

She turned around, just in time to see a man appearing a few meters away from her.

The man growled. He was around forty, tall and strong. She could smell from where she stood the intense odour of sweat coming from him. A long rapier was fastened to his belt, and she distinguished several rings around his fingers, all made of gold. Comparing to his old and worn-out coat, they seemed out of place. She guessed he had stolen them somewhere. He looked like a dangerous criminal after all...

"Who are ya?" he asked in a rough and raspy voice.

He withdrew his sword from its sheath, and Ana could hear the men gathered around the fire standing up and calling for their comrades. Eldarion and the Witch stood up as one man, and when the man rushed towards them they were both ready to welcome him, their swords at the ready.

Eldarion opened his mouth to speak. He wanted to talk to them, to tell them they were not seeking any trouble, that they wished them no harm... but before a single sound could pass his lips, the man had jumped before them and Ana was dodging a powerful strike of his sword. Eldarion took a deep breath, turning towards the rest of the men who were hurrying towards them already.

He knew there was no place for words from now on.

His father had always repeated the same advice when it came to fighting: he needed to empty his mind. There was no time for thoughts on a battle field. Only actions and reactions. So he took a deep breath, and chased away from his brain the blurring smokes of thoughts that had gathered in his mind.

And the rest was all his father had advised him: actions and reactions.

A sword coming on his right: he blocked it with his own blade. A fist flying his way, aiming for his head: he bent down to avoid the punch. And again, and again, actions were analysed and reactions were set in motion at such a speed that his brain could not understand all the information that were coming. Eldarion's body was working on reflexes.

When he pierced the chest of a man, Anduril plunging all the way between two ribs, Eldarion did not understand what his gesture would mean. He had only reacted and repeated the movements he had learned and practiced hundreds of times in Minas Tirith. And his attention was driven away so quickly from the man by another enemy coming on his right that he did not even understand what he had done when he pulled out his long blade, now darkened and drenched with blood, and that his eyes saw the red liquid flowing out of the man's mouth and chest. His eyes saw, but were already looking somewhere else. And he turned towards the next man he had to face.

The only feeling he was really aware of was the presence of the Witch behind him, her back touching his. And it was enough to ground him into reality. Until he could not feel her warmth against his back anymore...

Indeed, one of the thugs had managed to hit her hard on the head, making her fall to the ground in a thud. Her vision was blur and her head was spinning for a moment, long enough for the man to pull her by the hair and to make her let go of her sword. She let out a cry of pain trying to hold her hair to ease the violent tugging. But before he could pull her up completely, the hold of the man disappeared from her hair, and she had just enough time to see Eldarion's sword sway into the air, cutting the man's throat, blood gushing all around him. He fell in a thud, the low groan that passed his lips mingling with the sounds he made as he struggled to breathe, drowning in his own blood. She looked up at Eldarion as he knelt down next to her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, worry painted all over his handsome face. "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head.

"I'm fine," she said. "What about you?"

"I am unhurt," he said.

Slowly, he calmed down, his heart slowing down, his thoughts coming back to his mind as the adrenaline slowly dissipated from his veins. The first thing he could register as his brain began to work again, was the blood that stained the woman's brow.

"You're bleeding," he said.

She swept the blood away.

"It's merely a scratch," she reassured him.

He nodded slowly, and finally noticed the blood that was softly gleaming on his sword. He turned two wide eyes towards the scene around him. And he finally realized what had happened... and what he had done.

He stared intensely at the man that laid next to them, his hand still pressed upon his cut throat, on a last, desperate gesture to earn a few more precious seconds of life before Death could take him away. Eldarion's vision suddenly became very blur.

He did not start this time when the Witch gently put her hand on his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" she asked softly.

He could hear worry in her voice, but he couldn't gather the strength to look away from the man he had killed. He could not tear away his gaze from the hand still clasping desperately, though the blood was only slowly flowing out of the wound by now. He was transfixed by these two dark eyes, wide with shock and terror; he was transfixed by the blood, the blood everywhere that made the dark earth steam...

"Eldarion."

She shook him this time, and he forced himself to nod his head.

"What?" he answered in a voice so hoarse that he could barely recognize it as his own.

"Look at me."

She forced him to turn his attention towards her again, but the second his gaze met her deep green eyes, he stood up, and staggered for a few steps, not knowing in which direction he was heading, only knowing that he could not let anyone see him like this. Lost. Guilty. Desperate...

"Eldarion, wait!"

"I need to be alone for a minute," he managed to mutter.

But she took his arm again, and forced him to turn around.

"It was the first time you killed, wasn't it?" she asked slowly, her tone kind and gentle.

Her graceful fingers gently stroking his upper arm was the most reassuring gesture anyone had ever had towards him. He finally gathered enough strength to hold her stare.

"Yes," he answered in a shaking whisper. "I had never... killed before."

She nodded, a reassuring smile curving up her lips.

"Well, you are dealing with it much better than I did," she smiled. "I threw up the first time I killed a man."

A small smile appeared on his lips.

"Actually, I am fighting very hard not to throw up right now."

Her smile widened.

"It's normal."

He nodded, but it only made his head spin faster.

"You should sit down for a moment," she advised him.

A few meters away, the dogs had abandoned their rotten meat for the corpses of their former masters. Eldarion could hear their sharp teeth shattering bones and flesh as they ate.

"I'm fine," he said.

He cleared his throat, and drank a gulp of water from his gourde.

"We should take a look at their camp," he said, nodding towards the dying fire.

Ana nodded, picking up her sword from the ground.

"Let's go then."

He followed her towards the fire, where only a few blazes were still fighting to burn into flames. She strode directly towards the wooden chest, and quickly opened it. It was full of jewels and weapons.

"Thieves?" Eldarion asked.

She nodded.

"I do not think that they belong to the men of Rhun. They must have merely found shelter here."

She pushed the shining jewels and the daggers away, clearly looking for something...

"What are you looking for?" the man by her side asked.

"Papers," she answered, "letters, notes...  anything that could help us put a name on their faces."

Eldarion looked around him, but there was nothing but the fire and the chest in the camp that could have hold documents of any kind.

Ana finally found a folded piece of parchment, and she handed it to Eldarion as she resumed her search in the chest. Eldarion unfolded the note.

It was nothing more than a few words written in a hurry. The parchment was dirty and he could recognize the letters traced in dark ink. Though he had not learned this language, he knew enough about the War to recognize the alphabet...

"It's Black Speech," he said gloomily. "I cannot read it though."

Ana finally gave up her search, heaving a sigh and hoping that the note would give her the information she was looking for.

"You do not know the tongue of Mordor?" she asked.

He shook his head, handing her back the note.

"I guess it is one of the first things we should teach you," Ana said, taking back the dirty piece of paper. "I have to say that I am quite surprised that your father has not taught you this language himself."

"He made me learn many tongues of Men, Dwarves and Elves," Eldarion answered. "But not the tongues of Orcs."

She looked up at him.

"One should know his enemies even better than he knows his friends," she said.

She started to read the note, and a worried expression appeared on her face.

"What does it say?" Eldarion asked.

"Trouble," she answered, a worried expression on her face. "Lots and lots of trouble. It says that these men were to bring a message of peace to the men of Nurn. It says that G was grateful for their trust, and that he would pay them in Angarad."

"Angarad? It is a city in Rohan, is it not?"

The Witch merely nodded.

"And what about this 'G'? Who is he?" Eldarion asked.

"Well... If we could answer this question, we could probably all come home here and now."

She folded back the letter and put it safely in her pocket.

"I have heard of him several times. I do not know who he is," she added.

She looked at the dogs for a moment as they ate one of the thieves. But Eldarion could guess that she was not seeing them.

"Is he responsible for all the unrest in the East?" he asked her.

"I don't know," she answered with a shrug.

She suddenly turned a worried glance towards him.

"We should go. If these men were expected, the news of their death will soon be brought to the ears of the men they were to meet."

"We should bury them," Eldarion protested.

Her gaze softened, and she put a reassuring hand on his shoulder again.

"We don't have time for that. We must go, and we must go now. Leave them here. The dogs will take care of the bodies, if they are not found soon enough."

He looked at her with eyes full of shock, but she ignored him, and he followed her as she left the camp, heading back towards Ithilien the way they had come. He did not notice it, but Ana took great care at erasing any trace of their presence as they walked away from the camp. Not a trace of their footsteps remained on the dusty ground, and she checked the camp and the bodies quickly one last time before leaving, making sure they didn't leave any clue that could reveal their identity if someone found the ravaged camp.

She was playing at a very dangerous game with an adversary she didn't know. A very dangerous game indeed...

************************************************

They walked restlessly for several hours, even if both of them were exhausted. The fear in the Witch's eyes was enough to force Eldarion to take one step after another, despite his stinging eyes. He was still holding his sword in his hand, just in case some kind of enemy would suddenly jump out of the shadows, and the now dried blood was darkening his blade. It was late, the moon was already high in the sky, above the treetops that covered the shining stars. Far away, clouds were darkening the sky even more, and in the shadows of the night, distant flashes of light accompanied the crashing of thunderbolts upon the trees. They had not stopped for a minute, they had not eaten anything either, and both their stomachs were craving for food. Their legs were painful and longed for rest, but Ana was too scared of being found to stop walking. Behind her, Eldarion walked in silence, not complaining about the long rush through the forest she was imposing on him. He was merely following her, his sword in his hand, and she knew he was listening to every sound of the night.

Finally, they came to a point when none of them could walk anymore. They stopped at the first shelter they found, a little cavern, only two or three meters deep. It was a little, confined, wet hole in a hill, but above their heads, the dark clouds were coming closer and closer every second, and soon the thunder would have reached them and covered them with its heavy rains, and any shelter seemed better than to sleep under the stars. The cavern was just large enough for them to light up a fire and to sit at the back of the cave. They hurried to gather dry wood, and Ana merely had to blow on the twigs to light up the fire. Soon, it was raining outside of the little cave, whilst Ana and Eldarion warmed their hands to the fire. They ate in silence, trying to get warm as the rain had brought coolness to the night.

Ana was carefully examining the silent Prince who was eating next to her. She could see that, despite his obvious hunger, he had to struggle to swallow every one of the mouthful of bread he took. She could see in his eyes this feeling he was trying so hard to hide : the horror to see Death in the eyes, to stare at this ghost and to survive to this meeting by losing your soul. She had had the same look in her eyes once. But now, Death was like an old friend of hers, never too far from her path, though never meeting her to take her away.

But Death had taken so many of her friends away...

"You should clean your sword," Ana told the Prince, nodding towards the man's blade that laid unsheathed on the ground next to him.

Eldarion nodded slowly. He gave up at trying to eat any more food, even if his stomach was still painful with hunger. His throat was too tight, the lump too big to accept food anyway. He took his sword and a piece of fabric, but when he rested the cloth upon the blade, he found himself unable to clean the cold metal. He felt like all the blood on the blade was on his own hands.

Ana saw him clenching his jaw.

"Thank you, by the way," she whispered.

Her voice was barely audible above the sound of the falling rain outside the cave. Eldarion looked up at her, and she held his stare, though she seemed slightly uncomfortable.

"You saved my life," she said. "Thank you."

Eldarion nodded slowly.

"There is no need to thank me for such a thing."

She let out a little laugh.

"Actually, I reckon that it is the best reason to thank someone," she replied.

They exchanged a small smile. Eldarion's hand was still clenching at the cloth, perfectly motionless.

"I guess... I should apologize as well," Ana added.

Eldarion raised an eyebrow, still staring at the Witch.

"Why?" he asked softly.

They stared at each other for a moment, two motionless figures before the dancing flames of the fire and the falling raindrops of the storm that raged outside. But it seemed like none of them could hear neither the thunder of the storm, nor the cracking of the blazes, they merely stared intensely into the other's eyes... and soul.

"I think..." she said softly, slowly. "I think I may have misjudged you."

Eldarion gave her a forgiving smile.

"Well... Apologies accepted," he smiled. "I think... I think we should start all over again, don't you?"

Ana smiled back at him.

"It sounds quite fair indeed."

She offered him her open hand.

"Friends?"

He shook her hand, with a wide smile on his lips. He had not had such an earnest smile since the attack on the camp.

"Friends," he nodded.

But when he let go of her hand, he was still unable to wash the red blood that stained the blade that rested on his laps. She could read in his eyes that an intense battle was raging inside of him. One part wished to be strong, and to overcome what had happened at Minas Morgul, like he would have overcome a nightmare that had haunted his sleep. But the other part couldn't forget. The other part kept his mind full with visions of the scene, with all this blood flowing and splashing and fuming and... all this death around him. And all this blood he was seeing, he saw it also on his hands, covering his palms, and fingers, and nails, like a ghostly layer of invisible proof left by his mind that was there to remind him what he had done, who he had become... He had killed. And though he had defended himself, and defended Ana, in his mind, he saw no difference between himself and these men, these outlaws he had killed. His conscience tortured him. In his own eyes, he was nothing but a murderer.

And Ana knew this feeling, and remembered it enough to know how much he suffered now.

"When I went alone at the Cross-Roads..." she started. "I guess I can tell you now, that we'll try to be friends..."

She stopped, and before she spoke again, Eldarion interrupted her, his voice warm, though shaking slightly.

"You do not have to tell me. I understand, if it is something... you prefer to keep private..."

"I think I can tell you. I trust you not to say all this to the others though. They will worry if they know where we went."

Eldarion nodded.

"You have my word."

She locked her gaze upon the dancing flames, encircling her knees with her arms.

"Before the War, when there was still a shadow in the East... I lived for a while in Gondor. It was when Denethor was still Steward, and Faramir was not even Captain by then. I lived in a little village, near the Anduin. I healed people, mostly. Gandalf was away by then, I don't know where he was exactly all these years... Anyway, there was this little boy... Her mother had died several years before after falling from her horse, and when I arrived into the village, his father was very sick. There was nothing I could do. They were poor and... they didn't have the money to go see a healer, and he had not been treated. When he died, his son was just ten. He was just a child, without any family, with nowhere to go... I couldn't leave him alone. So I decided to take care of him, to raise him like his parents would have done if they had not died too soon. I remained there for six years. But then the War began..."

He could see tears shimmering in her eyes, melted in the expression of anger and rage, of sorrow and grief.

"First I had to go with Gandalf, when the Ring of Power was found to be Bilbo's old ring he had taken from Gollum. Whispers of battles could be heard here and there, and we were becoming rather scared... I helped your father seeking for Smeagol. But as we could not find him, Gandalf sent me to watch over the Ring Bearer. The East and the Wild Lands were not safe anymore. It was around the time when Elrond called back your mother to Imladris. I remained for a few years in the Shire, watching over Frodo. Then, the situation throughout the North became more and more critical, and I was attached to a group of Rangers in the North and the East, guarding the borders of the free kingdoms. Around the time that Gollum was taken by Aragorn, before Frodo was sent to Rivendell, I left, and went South again, mostly to help the soldiers to fight against the growing forces of Mordor, but also to spy on Sauron and his servants. I hadn't been back in years... For almost seventeen years I had fought and roamed across Middle Earth, and I knew what we were facing. I went to Ithilien, and offered my services to the Captain there."

"Faramir," Eldarion completed for her.

Ana nodded, her eyes still fixed on the flames, though she didn't seem to see them dancing before her.

"I have to say, that it was the last place on Middle-Earth where I expected to see him..." she went on, a small smile curving up her lips, though her eyes were still fogged with tears. "This boy I had raised like my own... He was there, much older. He was fighting under Faramir's command. We had been separated for years, but he still remembered me, and it felt... it felt like we had left each other only the day before. We fought for months in Ithilien, almost a year, until..."

A tear rolled down her cheek, tracing a glimmering line in its wake on the pale and soft skin of the Witch's face.

"I lost him for just a second. One moment he was next to me, but then I was punched, and the time that I could come back to my senses... It hadn't been longer than a second, a blink of an eye... but it was enough."

She swept a second tear away.

"There was nothing I could do. I merely had the time to take him in my arms, to hold him for a second, like I used to do when he was a child, and then... he died."

She sniffed.

"I always come back to the place where he died when I come to Ithilien, where he is buried, with all the men we lost that day. And I always make a flower grow. Adh... she thinks it's not good for me. That I'm hurting myself. But..."

"But it hurts even more if you don't go and see him," Eldarion finished for her.

She stared at him again, and he could see the flames reflected in her eyes reddened by her cries.

"I may be a Prince, I have lost people I loved as well," he answered to her questioning look. "Why are you telling me all this anyway?"

She shrugged.

"You don't have a choice but to share with me something very personal," she answered, and he knew perfectly well that she had guessed the battle that he was fighting against himself. "I thought it was much more... fair if I shared one with you."

He nodded slowly, clearly touched.

 "I know what you're going through," she said softly, "I have fought, and killed, and hated myself for it, and thought of me like a monster for all this blood I could see on my hands. If you need to talk about this, I'm here."

He smiled, grateful.

"Thank you," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "But I'll be just fine... with a bit of time."

"Yes, of course you will," she nodded.

Slowly, almost unnoticeably at first, Eldarion's hand slipped down the blade, and he started to clean his weapon. Ana smiled.

"By the way," she said in a lighter tone. "If we are to be friends, I have to warn you, I hate long names like yours."

Eldarion couldn't help but laugh.

"My name is not that long."

"It's already too long for me," she replied. "It's not practical at all! Imagine on a battle field, if I want to call for you! I have to find a shorter nickname for you."

She thought for a moment.

"What about 'El'?" she proposed.

The Prince merely laughed again.

"It sounds quite good to me," he answered. "As long as you are the only one to use it, of course."

"That's a deal then."

She rested her back against the stone behind them, and covered herself with a warm blanket.

"You should try to sleep", she said when Eldarion had finished to clean his sword and had put it back in its sheath.

He shook his head.

"I'm not sleepy," he replied.

But in reality, he was fighting hard for his eyelids to remain open.

"El, you must sleep."

He heaved a sigh, but he couldn't deny his exhaustion. He leaned against the wall of stone as well, and wrapped a blanket around him. Ana extinguished the fire, and soon, they were surrounded with nothing but darkness and the sound of rain still falling upon the tall trees. After a while, Ana could feel that the man next to her was still awake.

"El, you must sleep."

"I know."

There was a moment of silence, before Eldarion would speak again. His tone was hesitant, almost sheepish.

"Ana? Does..."

He cleared his throat as she turned towards him.

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight," he said. "I... I can't stop but..."

"You see their faces every time you close your eyes," she finished for him.

She distinguished through the shadows that he nodded. It was so much torture, such a fight against himself... His father had definitely not told him anything about this feeling when he had told him all the stories and glories of the wars of men.

"After a while, do you stop seeing them?" he asked the witch, and his voice was nothing more than a whisper. "When you close your eyes and fall asleep?"

She shifted.

"You learn to live with all this, El. You'll be alright."

"You didn't answer my question. Do they go away after a while?"

Ana closed her eyes.

"No, El. They never go away."

[thesoundthread-blog]

BEST  MUSIC OF JANUARY

With streaming making listening to music so easy and so many artists dropping readily available music every week, it’s sometimes overwhelming. 

That’s what we’re here for. The boys of The Sound Thread will compile a top ten list for you each month with our favourite tracks. We may not always agree, but we will always provide you with quality music. Enjoy our first playlist and Download it directly to your phone below:

Spotify: 

https://open.spotify.com/user/12160583826/playlist/03XVCDQK4Y3WvVqQERMlzT

Apple Music:

https://itunes.apple.com/ca/playlist/sound-thread-january-2017/idpl.65ac9c30dcc44b72b80225987fb51834

Here is our list for the month of January. Let us know what you think!

Agree? Disagree? What would you add or take out?

10. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran

Jeremy: I’ve always been a big Ed Sheeran fan. I feel like he is one of the few guys in the acoustic genre who is blurring boundaries and pushing music forward. He isn’t afraid to be himself and he is definitely not afraid to experiment. On this tune Ed takes you back to his childhood and gives you memories that after listening to this song, you may even feel like you lived yourself. This song is perfect for listening to on a plane ride back home or to make you think of all of the awful life shaping mistakes you made in the 9th grade.

Jared: It is so great to hear from Ed again after his romantically induced hiatus. Out of his two new releases I definitely prefer Castle On The Hill, as it is less pop influenced and more closely resembles some of my favourite songs from him. The line “Singing to Tiny Dancer” also really hits home with me as I can picture myself on numerous occasions screaming Elton John lyrics while driving.

9. Undercover - Kehlani

Jonny: I’m gonna be honest, Kehlani was on my bad side when she cheated on Kyrie Irving. Dude gets buuuuuuuuckets. Anyways, it was hard to stay mad at her after listening to her new album “SweetSexySavage”. Undercover is just the stand out song, there are 3-4 songs that could've easily made this list but Julian is a douchebag so we had to limit it to one. This song takes a page from Akon as it samples the 2006 hit “Don’t Matter”. Do yourself a favour and listen to this album, you will go through the entire emotional spectrum.

Julian: Cheated on Kyrie… WHACK

Jeremy: Okay, so even though this song is only at number 9, this is the most controversial song on the playlist. Jonny and I had to fight pretty hard to get this one on the list at all. You can be the judge after listening to it for yourself, but I think this is forsure one of Kehlani’s best songs overall and one of the best songs off of her (in my opinion) incredible album. Here is where my Bias may be coming in. The song that she samples is “Don’t Matter” by Akon and “Don’t Matter” by Akon was like my theme song in grade 10 when I was dating my sister’s friend because “they didn’t want to see us together - but it don’t matter no cause I got you.” So I may just be getting over-emotional. “One way or another, I’mma” make sure this song gets the love it deserves. Sorry fellas.

Jared: Worst song on the list. Akon is cool though. 8. Tempted - Jazz Cartier

Jonny: I’m getting this out of the way quickly, THIS IS NOT PARTYNEXTDOOR. But if you like PND, Jazz’s style is similar and is also from Toronto. Although this is a love song it also hits hard. Hopefully this jam becoming a consistent go-to track in clubs across Canada. I could easily see myself getting curved multiple times while this song is playing. Can't wait. :)

Jared: Over the past couple years Jazz Cartier, or as he sometimes goes by “Jacuzzi Cartier” has gained clout throughout rap scene. The Toronto artist has made it own his own without a cosign from Drake and has caught the eye of many, ironically including Young Money superstar Lil Wayne. His new track “Tempted” is an absolute banger and is sure to set the tone in any situation that involves getting fired up. 7. Drew Barrymore - SZA

Jonny: This song has nothing to do with Drew Barrymore. Despite the confusion it was my most played song this month for this playlist. Her lyrics: “Somebody get the tacos / Somebody get spark the blunt / Let’s start the night of at episode one.” sounds like a damn good night to me. Taking netflix and chill to a whole new level. Kendrick Lamar found a diamond in the rough in SZA and his a huge addition to the TDE family.

Jared: I have yet to figure out why this song is titled “Drew Barrymore”. Regardless, the track by TDE’s first lady is one of my favourite releases from her thus far. Since seeing SZA perform live at Squamish Valley Music Festival in 2015 while she was sporting a retro Vancouver Grizzlies jersey as if it were a dress, I have been a fan. Although the lyrical content of this song is actually quite depressing, I still enjoy hearing from SZA and am excited for her new project. 6. Saved - Khalid

Julian: My opinion, Khalid has one of the most refreshing voices in the music industry right now. “Saved” has the same ingredients of greatness that has worked on his other singles like “Location.” The song features lyrics that tell a story and an instrumental that is a pleasant change of pace from trap/bass driven tracks lately.

Jared: As of recently I have been religiously listening to Khalid on a day-to-day basis. Although the 18 year old from Texas has only released a handful of songs, he has an extremely bright future ahead of him, in my opinion. His voice is diverse in the sense that each one of his songs gives a different vibe and has appeal for different situations. In this track he discusses how he is still not over his ex and how down that makes him feel, while in other songs such as “Let’s Go” the approach he takes is more positive and results in completely different song. With this track dropping and the announcement of his album (coming March 3rd) it is safe to say that I’m excited about this young talent’s presence on the music scene. 5. Sideline Number – Russ

Julian: While I will probably never relate to Russ's problem of needing another phone number to deal with the group of women who want to have sex with him, I still really enjoyed this song. Out of all the songs released this month I actually think i've listened to this the most. I have no idea why I like this song as much as I do, but it's incredibly catchy. After a few listens you'll be singing along to the chorus every time.

Jeremy: I don’t think there is anyone putting out quality music as frequently as Russ. The guy basically drops a hit record every two weeks. If you’re still sleeping on Russ then you should probably wake up. And if he’s not hitting you back then you may have his wrong phone, try getting his #2 line. 4. Moving on and Getting Over – John Mayer

Julian: What a tune. The vibes on this track are just so happy and bubbly. The outro with 1:15 left in this song could be played at the end of any romantic comedy movie. Every time I listen to it I just picture a scene where Joseph Gorden Levitt – while smiling, crumbles up a picture of his ex and subtly tosses it over his shoulder while walking in public (but deep down inside he’s not actually over her). I love how it sounds like an outro song, HOWEVER, it’s the intro to his EP and it sets the tone perfectly

Jeremy:  John Mayer can have sexual relations with my girlfriend and he may even convince me it was for the best. I think Julian put it best below, but there is nothing that this man cannot get away with after making such beautiful music. He has an angelic voice that comes around once in a lifetime and the guitar picking skills mixed with songwriting that can make a bird with a broken wing fly.. No correction * soar * once again. Love this EP - but I’m not actually in love with John Mayer. I just really really like him.

Jared: The part in the middle of this song where he hits those high notes is bananas!!!! #MayerSZN is in full effect baby. 3. No One Knows Me (Like My Piano) - Sampha

Julian: If you don’t know who “Sampha” is, let me help you… “DON’T THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH TOO MUCH, THERE’S NO REASON TO RUSH IT THROOOoOoOough”Yes. That was him on drake’s “too much,” which you’ve probably botched singing at the top of your lungs in your car. This song is just as emotional as that chorus, however instead of him singing gut-wrenchingly about a lover, he is singing about his piano. I haven’t heard and artist sing this emotionally about an object since Queen’s “Bicycle.” To be honest it doesn’t matter what Sampha sings about because his chillingly voice will keep me listening to every song he releases (listen to “Timmy’s Prayer). If you’re looking for a new artist please give him a listen, and add this song to your chill playlist on spotify/apple music.

Jonny: I can’t really express my feelings towards this song more than Julian did. I don’t even own a piano but I can relate to this through my Rock Band 2 drum set. Countless hours of emotion, passion and dedication with an object can become a huge part of your life and when you’re separated from it you just don’t know what to do with yourself. Sampha creates a masterpiece here where you wish you didn’t take things for granted throughout your life. Watch out for him to be a serious threat in the music game for years to come.

Jeremy: My mother does own a grand piano. I have spent some serious hours there. For me to say that no one or no thing knows like that piano would be a flat out lie. However, when Sampha says it, I believe it. I’m almost certain that he had to get a new piano after writing this song because of all of the tears that are left on every key. Listen to this song while driving alone at your own risk and make sure to call your family members and ex girlfriends after this to thank them for getting you to where you’re at today. Good call on the Bicycle reference Julian. Migos and Sampha > The Beatles and Queen.

Jared: Although I had not been listening to Sampha since his feature on Drake’s 2013 hit “Too Much”, it was a delight to hear this beautiful voice again. Considering the instrument I have invested the most time into was the recorder throughout elementary school, I cannot relate to the bond Sampha has with the piano at his mother’s home, nonetheless after hearing this song it was an obvious pick for my list. If Sampha continues to release tracks such as this one, I believe he will gain much more recognition and break the label of “that guy on that Drake song”, which he is given by many people (including myself).

2. T-Shirt - Migos

Julian: Seriously at this point forget Jordan, Pippen and Rodman, the Migos are the most iconic trio of all time. When it's all said and done the Migos will have more hits than the Beatles, and they'll have done it with one less member. All it takes is one listen of this song to have the chorus stuck in your head. The song has a very different vibe to it than other Migos tracks that are very bass heavy and full of interjections and ad-libs. If you take over the aux cord at a house party in the next few months, you have to open with this song.

Jonny: MIGOS CAN NOT LOSE. The group really found their groove on their latest album “Culture”. Easily the best album of 2017 so far in my opinion. My favourite part of this song is Quavo’s extremely catchy hook and subtly saying “Oooooouuuuu” and “Uhhhhhhh” under Takeoff and Offset’s verse’s respectively. If you didn’t think this song could get any better, watch the music video. By far one of the most hilarious things I have ever viewed.

Jeremy:  Now although my mamma never told me not to sell work, it was extremely implied in my suburban upbringing. Sentiments like “don’t do drugs” and “stay away from the bad crowd” still ring in my head when I pass by dark corners. However, if I had listened to this song back in the day, you best believe I would be running every block in the city in my white t-shirt. This song is just so hypnotic that it almost feels like you’re in a trance that could take you back to the middle ages where Quavo is the king of the land and the bass is the wake up call for the town every morning. Or maybe that’s just me.

Jared: STRAIGHT OUT NORTH ATLANTA!!!! As of recently the three boys from Georgia known as the “Migos” have been untouchable. Following the release of their platinum single “Bad And Boujee” Quavo, Takeoff and Offset have been dropping fire left and right. Although there are countless things to say about the Migos, one thing that has always stood out to me has been their use of ad-libs, and at this point I feel as though they have perfected the profound art. The combination of the trifecta’s ad-lib use and melodic flows resulted in the song “T-Shirt”, which in our opinion is one of the best songs to release in January. 1. You’re Gonna Live Forever In Me - John Mayer

Julian: Wow, what can I say about John Mayer’s new EP that hasn’t already been said about the movie “UP.” It had me crying five minutes in, and I told everyone to check it out without giving them a fair warning. I didn’t know how much I needed this song in my life till I heard it. The whistling in the track takes me back to Disney’s “Robin Hood”, and the lyrics took me back to my first break up. If John Mayer cheats on you, all he has to do is play a guitar riff and you’ll be the one apologizing. This is easily the standout track from my favourite project of the month, can’t wait for wave two of his album.

Jonny: Similar to Julian, I was instantly in tears when listening to John Mayer’s new EP, AND THIS IS ONLY PART 1 OF THE ALBUM!! MORE TO COME!!! I couldn’t help but feeling you would hear this track at the end of a Toy Story movie. Imagine this song playing, Woody holding Buzz Lightyear in his arms while he is slowing dying. My heart is shattering just thinking about it. The lyrics to this song are incredible and the whistling behind them is just the icing on the cake for the best song of the month.

Jeremy: It’s 5:00 am. I decide to listen to the new John Mayer. It seemed like a good idea. This song starts playing and I start getting flash-backs of every single girl I’ve dated since I was in middle school. Did I hurt them? Or maybe they hurt me? Either way the memories are overwhelming and I feel the need to text all of them. I group DM my exes - tell them they belong to me that goes on for forever. None of them respond. I’m left with tears and shattered dreams of relationships past. That being said, this song was my favorite experience of the month. John is a legend.

Jared: Do not listen to this song if you don’t want to cry!!! All I can say is that Mr. Mayer snapped on this track. Having been a fan of John Mayer for the last few years, I can honestly say this new EP is up to par with some of his best work. As Julian and Jonny mentioned, this song will make you feel as if you’re a character in Disney’s newest movie. You’re a bad person if you don’t like this song.

Honourable Mentions

Jonny: Running Back - Wale Feat. Lil Wayne

I know what all of you are thinking, Wale? Dude has been struggling since LeBron took his talents to South Beach (remember when all of you conveniently turned Heat fans that year?). I’m gonna be honest, I hated this song the first time I listened to it. But one night I was playing vids with my buddy Steve and he started mumbling the lyrics to this song so I’d thought to give it another listen, and it instantly got stuck in my head. In addition to that, I will take a verse from Weezy F Baby, good or bad, any day of the week. In the opening of his verse he spits: “These bitches sellin they souls / well I want my money back”, which cracked me up. Wale was one of my favourite artists in high school but his last project co-produced by Jerry Seinfeld entitled “The Album About Nothing”, didn’t work out as well as hoped, even though it was a clever idea. This song is a good step forward for Wale to get back to his roots.

Julian: Kelly Price - Migos Feat. Travis Scott

Don’t @ me, this song is an all time banger even though the other guys didn’t agree (these are the same guys who bump Ed Sheeran and Kehlani though). I will say I could easily of picked “Call Casting” as my honourable mention for the month because it’s impossible not to shout out every ad lib and interjection (BEAT IT UP) (EAT IT UP) (YEAH). While I felt this album was half 10/10 songs and half 6/10 songs I definitely feel like Kelly Price is the standout track for me - next to Bad & Boujee (the song of our generation). Travis Scott keeps impressing me more and more every year, just like the Migos.

Jeremy: All Year - Problem

I never really thought about listening to Problem. I don’t know why. But after seeing how cool he was in person I decided to give his music a real chance. And I don’t regret a thing. This song is an absolute BANGER. And after listening to it, you’ll really be questioning why you hadn’t heard it before. I think it’s a fitting way to start 2017. Thankfully Drake didn’t drop this month because we probably all would have had to put one song each from More Life as an honourable mention.

Jared: Electric (feat. Khalid)- Alina Baraz

Honestly the only reason I found out about this song is because of the Khalid feature, but nonetheless the collab between the two singers makes for one hell of a track. Something that really stands out to me about this song is the beat change ups throughout the song, specifically when Khalid starts to sing. This track is sure to take you on a rollercoaster of emotions and is one of my favourites from January.

[deepstheeskimo]

What did you do in the war?

You can just see it. In a few years, after the pandemic has subsided and life has moved back to something normal, all of the family gather around in the living room. The father is sat in his favourite chair, probably vegging out to the Chase or some other mind-melting 48 minute collection of flashing lights, bells and whistles. His youngest son waddles up to him and asks "Daddy what did you do during the war effort?""Well son" he says, struggling to lift the 120lb 5 year old onto his knee, "let me tell you".

The young boy is all ears, he only learnt today of COVID-19 being treated like a war and he's excited to be proud of his dad. He wasn’t old enough to be some look-at-me geriatric limping along the driveway but maybe he was some self-described hero key workers that ever so bravely, erm, did their fucken job. Not much had inspired him thus far about his dad's usual daily routine of ten hours at the meat packing factory and three hours of tv and Lidl beer, but here was a chance.

The daughter is first to offer her thoughts: "At first you didn't believe that it was a thing. You denounced it as flu. ‘Who bloody trusts these politicians anyway, all mouths in the trough scoffing arent they?’ you said". The young boy was unsure what a politician was, but sure as hell knew irony when he saw it, being squished against his father's rotund belly. “You kept exclaiming that the world had gone mad right up until the point where gran caught it and died. After that it was a changed tune and instead you turned your ire on the rest of the world. ‘Damn China, dirty people, they're the ones at fault for this’ you said once. You also started washing your hands, well if that’s what you call splashing them under lukewarm water after taking a few too many seconds over having a piss." 

The daughter was sent to her room.

The man's wife had managed to prize her head away from Candy Crush. Sat on a chair made of still-packaged toilet rolls, panic-bought in early January 2020 she soothed her husband’s ego. "Ignore her, you was dead patriotic in bein' furloughed, you seemed to become an economist and disease expert overnight just from watching Piers Morgan. I shared all your ideas wiv my whatsapp girls and on FB". She wheezed on, turning to her bairn "we clapped for the NHS every Thursday and one day we might care enough about public services to actually vote! Then at Easter after the three lamb legs we’d wrestled out of Tesco we went up the hill and set fire to the 5G mast". The sort of person so dense that light bends around her, the wife also explained how her brilliant man had then followed the rules to the letter, well "apart from when we fancied havin' a few pals around for a barbeque but we was all outside mostly apart from that hour when it rained but we wasn't gonna get unwell". Of course it was Ol’ Barnard Castle’s fault that they felt able to twist the rules, not their inherent and disgusting selfishness. Same reason they ‘just popped to’ see friends or to get a garden haircut before news of Cummings’ jaunt had broken.

The eldest of the three kids piped up at this point. "Yeah so then you mum and me went down to Bournemouth and was DISGUSTED by all of the people there. They was sayin’ we had to stay indoors but it was sunny and we did everythin' right, it was just everyone else who was COSTING lives. Even worser though was when all them black people started kickin' off...” The room fell silent. The eldest boy was sent to his room. No bother, he’ll just get back to grooming underage girls and spreading body dysmorphia. If they measured the production of sunken, shadowed eyes and slightly too prominent ribs him and his Navy pals would be European champs.

The little lad stayed plonked on his dad’s knee. Finally, the patriarch opened his mouth. Lad’s right though, I mean, we gave 'em everything* and now they wanna tear down our statues? No. So I went to defend our country. First man to protect was long standing homophobe and Nazi sympathiser Robert Baden Powell because that was a better use of my furlough time than getting another job or learning a skill"

"You made sacrifices too hubby" murmured the wife.

The father took a long sip of his tiny lager. "I did love. They laid me off. Somehow 4 months of no incomings crippled the tiny construction firm I did cash in hand work for. Total shock to me, disgusting. Been with that firm six years. So I went down 'Spoons, which opened for the first time that day and spent my ‘lough dough on 12 pints of Magners and some jumped up oven chips. What did I do for the war effort though? I followed what Boris said, I did my patriotic duty. We went out several times a week to crummy high street chain food outlets and ate discounted meals to help the economy.”

Long live Rishi Sunak’s Retail Park Economy.

*he didn't mean hundreds of years of subjugation

[almostdiplomatic]

Like almost every other person in this planet with an extra X chromosome, I grew up having a thing for castles. So, naturally, one of the first places my husband suggested we visit outside Berlin was Potsdam.

We went during my mom and her boyfriend’s visit to Berlin so it was sort of a double date. Take note that we’re a family of walkers so this post is going to feature a LOT of walking. In fact, the only ride we took was the S-Bahn going from Berlin to Potsdam Hauptbahnhof then, to the station beside the Sanssouci Park. We originally planned to walk from the Hauptbahnhof but the weather wasn’t cooperating.

When we finally got off the train, it was all walking throughout the day. And I do think that that’s the best way to see this charming city.

The sites re actually close enough to be explored by foot yet far enough to make your FitBit happy enough to give you a high five. Along with that message telling you that you’re over achiever. Yeah, I try to aim for that one. What can I say? I’m competitive.

Getting There

The Potsdam Hauptbahnhof (Central Station) is in the “C” area so make sure you pay for the right ticket. Don’t be tempted to get the cheaper “AB” ones. I’ve seen people get caught by some inspectors and they had to pay quite the sum.

It was quite a gloomy day when we went and there were some showers here and there throughout the day. Germany is famous for its unpredictable weather so even though it’s summer, I would still suggest packing an umbrella and bringing a light jacket. It can be quite nippy after a drizzle.

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From the train station, it’s a seven minute walk to the Neues Palais. We haven’t eaten a full meal yet so we decided to stop by Café and Restaurant Fredersdorf for a bite. The options were quite limited but it was a good meal all the same. The staff were friendly too.

The restaurant also gives you a gorgeous view of the Communs and the Neus Palais. These baroque-style buildings currently house the Universität Potsdam (Potsdam University). It was through this side that we entered Sanssouci Park.

Often referred to as the Prussian Versailles, the grounds were utterly beautiful in the summer. If you’ve been to Versailles in France, you may find Sanssouci to be a little less extravagant. Nevertheless, it’s still has that European grandeur with a bit of German practicality sprinkled here and there – especially in the gardens.

The Neues Palais and the Communs

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The park is humungous. Upon entering it though, I kept thinking how much fun it would be to study at the University of Potsdam and have this park as my campus. 😉 During our visit, they were preparing for an outdoor concert. Thus, there were some tents and seats being arranged in front of the baroque-style buildings.

None the less, the buildings left us impressed. Sadly, we didn’t have enough to explore the interiors as we were on a race against the weather. We had to see more of the grounds before it started raining again. So, off we went towards the North.

Restaurant Drachenhaus

I don’t know if you’ve picked up a couple of Game of Thrones references I’ve thrown your way in this post. Sorry about that as I’m still not over episodes 6 and 7 that came out this week.

Also, it’s a bit of a build up for the Dragon House Restaurant. Will Dany approve? They statues seem to be mini tributes to baby Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal.

It’s actually a former lodge for King Frederick II’s wine grower. The oriental-inspired architecture, modeled off a book.

Orangerieschloss

Following Maulbeerallee, you’ll find yourself looking up at yet another palace. The Orangerieschloss instantly transports you to Italy with its renaissance-style architecture.

The artistically-gifted Frederick IV had it built in the mid-1800s as an addition to his summer residence. Its gardens are gorgeous and paths leading up to it, lined with lush greenery makes it such  a beautiful place to take a stroll.

I skipped taking a photo of it’s main building since there was a lot of scaffolding. Renovations throughout Sanssouci park were in full force during our visit. Will update this with a proper photo after we come back.

A windmill sits on top of one of the hills near Sanssouci Palace. It was originally built in the 1700s but it was destroyed during WWII. The one in Potsdam right now is just a reconstruction of the original that turned based on the direction of the wind.

Sanssouci

Finally, we arrived at Prussian King Frederick the Great’s summer home – Schloss Sanssouci. It’s a lot smaller than the Versailles, to which it is often compared to. It’s more of a single-story villa with gorgeous, Rococo style or architecture. I also loved the elevation of it.

Imagine reading a book in one of the benches while overlooking the gardens. Add a bit of beautiful, sunny weather with a bit of a breeze – then, it’s just perfect. 😉

Oddly enough, the name is in French. It literally means ‘free of worries’ which was Frederick the Great’s vision for the place – a hideaway where he can relax.

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The Church of Peace

A quaint church with a mausoleum is also within the UNESCO World Heritage Site that is the whole of Sanssouci Park. We made sure to stop by and check out the architecture and my favourite bit is the tiered entryway of Heilsbronn Porch.

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We then made our way out of the park because there was, once again, threats of torrential rains. We stopped by a restaurant for dinner and a beer to wait it out before making our way back to the Hauptbahnhof on foot.

The rest of the city

A smaller version of Berlin’s Brandenburger Tor can be found in the city’s Luisenplatz. It also goes by the same name and is at the end of Brandenburger Straße, a street lined with beautiful altbaus housing shops and restaurants. The street also leads up to the Church of Sts. Peter and Paul.

Cue Belle singing “little town, it’s a quiiiiiet village…”

To be fair, we were there on a Sunday when all shops were closed so it truly was quiet that day. There were some restaurants that were open though.

From Luisenplatz, it was a bit of a walk to the train station. We had to skip the Dutch Quarter we so wanted to visit since it was getting late. However, we did pass by the Evengelical St. Nikolaikirche (St. Nicholas Church) at the Old Market Square (Alter Markt).

It’s truly a sight to behold. This massive structure which was heavily damaged in WWII, also holds concerts aside from Church services. The Old Market Square is also worth the time as it also has other buildings surrounding it with gorgeous architecture. There’s a marble obelisk, the Museum de Barberini, and the Old City Hall to name a few.

There you have it, our day in Potsdam. Sadly, we missed a couple of must-sees. Like the Chinese House and even the Schloss Cecilienhof due to time and weather constraints. But that’s all the more reason to come back, right? It’s so near Berlin anyways!

More later!

Love,

Carol

Potsdam Day Tour – Walking Tour Photo Diary Like almost every other person in this planet with an extra X chromosome, I grew up having a thing for castles.

[lelibug]

So it was much to my delight – and immense relief – that I received my new wheelchair on 30th June 2017. This beauty was here to change my life. I really hoped that it would.

I took it out that very day to Penrhyn Castle, and found my favourite place ever (not in London) was about as un-wheelchair friendly as it gets… Very unfortunate, and immediately decided they had better change that soon. The next day I went out with best friend and had a great time wheeling myself about, “walking” alongside her and pushing myself all around and up to the top end (on a hill, over slanting pavements) of the High Street to a restaurant I wanted to show her. We also had cocktails and had a really great time out together since we both left London.

Then it all crashed. My Dad got quite ill for about a week just on that third day after, and I was once again stuck in the house because my mother was also working. Whilst my father was bed-bound, I was left to attempt to manage on my own – from somehow getting up in the morning (… or afternoon), taking my meds, getting to the bathroom and feeding myself. On that first day, the only thing I could think of was to get downstairs to my chair, whereby I would (effectively) have full mobility and at least have a fighting chance to look after myself.

For two days I struggled to do this. Thankfully this was the time my DVD came to cheer me up: Smile and Sway. It was a fun sitting-down dance DVD I could do in my wheelchair, covering moves from ballroom dancing classics, to ballet-arms, to Big Band swing and Jive. It was amazing fun to be doing something like that again – akin to a short rehearsal – and it felt great to be doing something so familiar once again. It made me feel more “me”… even if I was rather rubbish at it!

I was relieved from this strain a little on the third day as my mother was off work for the next few days. The first day she was off was terrible. The second day was much better. We (my mother and I) took Doggy for a walk to Bangor, specifically Porth Penrhyn, where there’s a cycle route that’s been beautifully remade and tarred, and perfect for walking a dog with a chair.

It took a little bit of cajoling but the dog eventually made it about halfway down the path. It was pretty hot (maybe 21ºC, perhaps a little higher), but thick trees make a great canopy over it, keeping it quite cool. When he finally started getting into it, Doggy started pulling my chair, and with my new lead kit (it was hands-free and tied around my chest, “Empire-waist” style), he started really running fast and far with me, which was utterly amazing.

On the way back to the car, Soul took off like a rocket. Exhilarating and so much fun, we went belting down the path, having a great time. My Dad has clocked him at 12mph when Souly’s running alongside him on his bike. I could easily believe he was getting there quite easily! We got back to the car so very quickly, I was taken aback when it was suddenly there.. and Soul was so very pleased to be back in the car so he could sleep on the way home.

Thanks to Souly’s speed, we also arrived home in time to see the tennis, which also pleased me.

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    Pondering Internal Truths

After such a day, that night (well, early morning, I suppose), I read the rest of a book I had been reading: Unbearable Lightness, by Portia de Rossi. That book greatly affected me: It focuses on her eating disorder(s), then also on her recovery. Despite being probably around double my normal weight now (I refused to look when I was weighed, but at this point presumed it to be 13-14 stone – hopefully not more, that’s more than bad enough!), I still struggle with my eating disorder. It’s not about being painfully thin or vomiting food (been there, done that, still want to do the later…), it’s about disordered thinking about eating and foods. And I definitely have that. Always. But it’s not just about that specifically… it can also be about any illness and any recovery, or learning to live with it… Or without it.

She talks about her illness as a… relationship, a “boyfriend” of sorts. I thought about that… thought about how dysfunctional I felt in being my ill… Then (yes, it’s weird!) the thought occurred to me: Can you “cheat” on an illness? [Stay with me here…!]

I always feel horrid for wanting to… Write. Read. Play my games. Look at my computer magazines. Watch a movie. Well… What if I’ve behaviourally (though being actually unable to do these things) become indoctrinated, or “modified” to be… averse to them? That if I try to switch off and enjoy them, that I am being actually disloyal to “being ill”? That I’m cheating at being ill? Disordered thinking: Well, I know that is nothing new to me. I already have the brain of an anorexic, which is distorted thinking regarding something as natural as feeding yourself, so why not this? “Emotionally”, it makes more sense to me than anything else.

Of course, you can’t be disloyal or cheat on an illness, unless you’re genuinely faking it (choose your own crazy reason for it here!). But I guess you can feel it. Indulging in illness is a bad thing… but apparently my brain has yet to figure that out? If I don’t fixate and indulge on my illness and being inside that illness… then… what?

This is the Aspie Girl bit… and where the knowledge of this and the diagnosis comes in handy. Knowing as an ASD person, my brain is designed to fixate on things… a lot. It’s supposed to fixate on games, theatre or TV shows, movies, writing, books… Not on being ill. However, I have regardless been nothing but ill very ill – for quite a long time (four years is a pretty decent amount of time, really). Somehow, it came to the conclusion there was nothing else in the world – and although, yes, my condition continued to get worse, I was well aware that there were more interesting things to be obsessed about. Yet, there I was, in the middle of my fixation on, well, being ill. My IQ was crying.

Reading that book was like reading my own journal: The way she thought, her logic, her distorted thinking, the way the illness played with her mind, her logic… It not only made sense to me, it mirrored identically my own, all in exactly the same way, and I realised I knew what she was going to say before I even read it. Never before had I come across someone (despite it being via a book) that knew exactly what it was to be me, who thought like me, who knew exactly what it was to be like that. Thus, when I read her Epilogue about recovery, that also made the same impact.

The question of Can you cheat on an illness turned up on the back of what she wrote. It made me think of the fixations I have and I figured this was probably one of them: Somehow, being incapacitated had become a new one… And the thought did not make me very happy at all, with the question then becoming… How on earth do I fix it – Stat?

I came to think it had a lot to do with identity. I had been ill (as in unable to actually function or do anything) for so long, it had become my identity, and I couldn’t see past it to something else, even something I loved. It made it impossible to disconnect with “reality” and dive headlong into a fantasyland… In a world of pure imagination.

The only answer was to find a way to break it and get back to what I loved best – stories. In any format, whether in books, on TV or in movies, or in games. I wanted to learn again. Make room in my head for more interesting things than being ill. I was already ill… I hardly needed to work at it!

    Chariot Racing & Revelations So it was much to my delight – and immense relief – that I received my new wheelchair on 30th June 2017.