#casey novak x alex cabot x olivia benson

[lesbehonestsstuff]

The solution to an argument (Casey/Alex/Olivia) *smut*

When Olivia and Casey fight they FIGHT like screaming at each other fully stubborn butting heads. More often than not it ends with a forgotten argument and angry sex Alex arriving later finding a mess and trail of clothes that lets her know an argument happened. She finds them in bed naked in each others arms a little disappointed because she doesn’t like it when they fight. They are apologetic pulling her into bed and showing her how sorry they are.

Word count: 5148

(Yes they’re power dynamics are weird but that’s because I believe they interact differently depending on if there’s two of them or three)

The tension had been building all day, simmering, just waiting to explode. Olivia had been on edge, snapping at everyone and everything after a particularly difficult case. Casey, always a bit more sensitive to Olivia’s moods, had tried to stay out of her way, but it seemed inevitable that the storm would come crashing down between them.

It started with something small. A comment, a jab, something Olivia muttered under her breath about Casey’s handling of a witness. Normally, it would’ve rolled off Casey’s back, but today… today it hit her like a punch to the gut. She’d had her own rough day in court, and Olivia’s criticism, no matter how subtle, was the last thing she needed.

“What did you just say?” Casey asked, her voice sharp as she spun around to face Olivia.

Olivia barely glanced at her, too tired and too irritated to see the warning signs in Casey’s posture. “I said, maybe next time you should think twice before—”

“Don’t.” Casey’s voice shook with anger. “Don’t talk down to me like that, Olivia. I’ve had enough of it today.”

Olivia, already keyed up, bristled. “I’m not talking down to you. I’m being honest. You were too emotional with this case.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” Casey shot back, her eyes flashing with anger. “You’re the queen of letting your emotions get in the way. How many times have you blown up a case because you couldn’t keep your cool?”

Olivia’s fists clenched at her sides. “This isn’t about me,” she growled. “I’m trying to help you before you trample your own case.”

“I don’t need your help!” Casey yelled, her voice breaking. “I need you to stop treating me like I can’t handle myself!”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed, her own frustration bubbling over. “You’re the one who always needs coddling, Casey. Maybe if you stopped being so—”

“Say it,” Casey snapped, stepping closer, her face flushed with anger. “Go on, say it. You think I’m what? Weak? Emotional? Is that it?”

Olivia’s jaw tightened, the words hanging between them, too dangerous to speak but too close to the surface to ignore. “You’re not weak,” she said through gritted teeth. “But sometimes… sometimes you let your emotions take over and cloud your judgment.”

Casey’s chest heaved, the anger that had driven her this far pushing her harder against Olivia. “Maybe I wouldn’t feel like that if you didn’t make me feel like I have to prove myself every damn day!”

The shouting escalated, their voices rising and crashing against the walls of the apartment. It was like this sometimes, when they fought, they fought hard. Neither one willing to back down, neither one able to let the other win. They were both stubborn, both too proud to admit when they were wrong.

But beneath all the shouting, there was something else, something raw and tangled between them, something that burned hotter than the anger.

Olivia’s face softened for a split second, but she couldn’t stop herself from firing back. “I don’t make you feel like anything, Casey. You’re the one who always thinks you have something to prove.”

“Maybe because you’re always waiting for me to screw up!” Casey yelled, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I’m not perfect, Olivia. I can’t be perfect.”

“I don’t need you to be perfect,” Olivia said, her voice dropping an octave, frustration still thick but cooling.

The tension crackled between them, the air too thick with everything unsaid. And then, as quickly as the argument had begun, it shifted. The fire in Casey’s eyes wasn’t just from anger anymore, and Olivia, for all her toughness, felt the pull too. There was always this edge between them, anger that turned into something else entirely.

And as quickly as it escalated, it dissipated. The argument fell apart like all their arguments did, forgotten in a wave of heat, words left hanging in the air as they closed the space between them.

Casey lunged forward, closing the distance between them, her hands fisting in the front of Olivia’s shirt as she crashed her mouth against Olivia’s. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t soft. It was all fury and heat, all of the pent-up frustration pouring into that one desperate kiss.

Olivia stumbled back, but her hands immediately found Casey’s waist, pulling her closer, fingers digging into her hips as she kissed back. It was messy and wild, their mouths battling for control, but neither wanting to give it up.

The kiss broke for only a second, and Casey growled low in her throat. “I’m not weak, Olivia.”

Olivia’s grip tightened, her lips brushing against Casey’s in a taunting, breathless whisper. “I know you’re not.”

Casey’s nails raked down Olivia’s back, hard enough to leave marks, but Olivia only hissed in response, her eyes flashing with something dark and feral. She spun them around, pushing Casey against the nearest wall, their bodies slamming together in a tangle of limbs.

“You’re so damn stubborn,” Olivia growled, her breath hot against Casey’s neck as she nipped at the sensitive skin there.

Casey let out a low moan, her head tipping back to give Olivia more access, her fingers threading through Olivia’s hair, pulling her closer. “Takes one to know one.”

Olivia’s hands roamed lower, sliding under Casey’s shirt, her nails scraping against Casey’s bare skin. The feel of it, the roughness of Olivia’s touch, the sharpness of her nails against her delicate skin made Casey’s breath hitch.

Casey’s fingers fumbled with Olivia’s belt, yanking it open with a frustrated sound. “I don’t want to fight anymore.”

Olivia’s lips curved into a dark smile against Casey’s throat as she helped shove her pants down. “Then don’t.”

In one swift move, Olivia had Casey’s legs wrapped around her waist, her body pressed flush against the wall as their mouths met again in a rough kiss. Casey’s hands slid under Olivia’s shirt, hands tracing the hard muscles of her back as she rocked her hips forward, grinding against Olivia, the friction sending shocks of pleasure through her.

Olivia let out a low groan, her hands slipping under Casey’s panties, fingers teasing over her skin, making Casey gasp.

“Liv…” Casey’s voice was breathy, barely a whisper as she pulled back just enough to look into Olivia’s eyes. There was still a spark of defiance there, but it was tempered by something softer, something that made her grip Olivia tighter, needing her in that moment more than she wanted to admit.

Olivia’s hand dipped lower, fingers sliding through Casey’s wetness, teasing her entrance. “Say it,” Olivia murmured, her voice rough, her lips brushing against Casey’s ear. “Say you need me.”

Casey bit her lip, a moan escaping her as Olivia’s fingers pushed inside her, the slow, deliberate thrusts making it impossible to think of anything else. Her nails dug into Olivia’s shoulders, her head falling back against the wall as her body moved instinctively, chasing the pleasure that Olivia’s touch brought her.

“I need you,” Casey gasped, her voice breaking, her breath coming in ragged pants as Olivia’s fingers curled inside her, hitting just the right spot that made her cry out. “God, I need you, Liv…”

That was all Olivia needed to hear.

With a growl, Olivia’s pace quickened, her fingers thrusting deeper, harder, as she kissed Casey again, swallowing the soft whimpers and gasps that fell from her lips.

Casey’s body tensed, her muscles tightening as she teetered on the edge; she was already dangerously close and she knew it. The pleasure made her nails bite into Olivia’s skin as her hips bucked against her hand. “Liv… I’m gonna…”

Olivia’s free hand gripped around Casey’s waist, holding her up and steady as she pushed her over the edge. “Come for me, Casey.”

The words were a command, and Casey’s body obeyed, pleasure crashing through her in waves as she came hard, her cries muffled against Olivia’s mouth as her body shook with the force of it.

For a moment, they stayed like that, Casey shaking in Olivia’s arms, her breath coming in sharp, shallow bursts as she clung to her. Olivia’s fingers stayed inside her, teasing her through the aftershocks, her lips brushing soft kisses along Casey’s jawline.

Casey could still feel her pulse racing, her body buzzing from the aftershocks of the orgasm Olivia had wrung from her. But she wasn’t done—she wasn’t close to done.

As Olivia pressed soft kisses to her neck, still holding her against the wall, Casey let out a breathy chuckle, shifting slightly to get her bearings.

Olivia pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, her lips quirking up. “What’s funny?” Olivia asked, her breathy.

Casey smirked, feeling the adrenaline from their argument mix with the lust still simmering between them. “You think you’re in control,” she teased, leaning forward to kiss the corner of Olivia’s mouth. “But you forget who you’re dealing with.”

Before Olivia could respond, Casey slid down from Olivia’s waist, her feet hitting the floor with a soft thud. The moment she was grounded, Casey took hold of Olivia’s shoulders and spun them around, pushing Olivia back until her legs hit the bed. Olivia stumbled, her eyes wide with surprise and arousal, and fell back onto the mattress.

Casey climbed over her, straddling her hips, pinning her down with just enough force to keep her still. The roles were reversed now, and Casey felt a rush of satisfaction as she watched Olivia’s breath hitch, her pupils dilating with want.

Olivia’s hands instinctively reached up to touch her, but Casey grabbed her wrists, pinning them above Olivia’s head. “Not yet,” Casey whispered against her lips, teasingly close but not giving in to the kiss. “I’m not done with you.”

A low growl rumbled from Olivia’s chest as Casey leaned down, her lips ghosting over the curve of Olivia’s neck, her breath hot against her skin. “You think you’re the only one who knows how to take control?” Casey murmured, her tongue flicking out to taste Olivia’s skin.

Olivia shuddered beneath her, her hands twitching against Casey’s grip. “Casey…”

But Casey wasn’t in the mood for talking. She slid one hand down Olivia’s body, tracing the curve of her waist before slipping it between them, her fingers brushing over the growing heat between Olivia’s thighs.

“Already so wet for me,” Casey muttered, her voice a mix of amusement and hunger as she cupped Olivia through her panties. “You’re such a tease, Liv.”

Olivia’s hips bucked at the contact, a soft groan escaping her as she arched into Casey’s touch. But Casey wasn’t about to give in just yet. She dragged her fingers slowly, teasingly, over the fabric, watching the way Olivia’s eyes darkened, the frustration and desire building with every second that passed.

“Casey…” Olivia’s voice was strained now, her body tense beneath Casey’s as she struggled against the hold. “Stop teasing.”

But Casey smirked, loving the power she held in that moment. “You think you can just get away with everything, don’t you?” Casey taunted, her lips brushing against Olivia’s ear as she slipped her hand under Olivia’s waistband, finally touching her bare skin. “You push me around, piss me off, and expect me to just roll over.”

Her fingers dipped lower, finding Olivia soaked and ready. Casey’s breath hitched at the sensation, the warmth, the slickness that told her Olivia was just as desperate for this as she was.

Olivia’s hips lifted, silently begging for more, but Casey kept her movements slow, her fingers tracing over Olivia’s folds with infuriating patience. “But this time,” Casey continued, her voice soft but firm, “I’m going to make you beg.”

Olivia let out a frustrated groan, her head falling back against the mattress as Casey finally slid one finger inside her, slowly pumping in and out. It was nowhere near enough, but the tension, the maddening tease of Casey’s control, had Olivia panting, her body trembling with need.

“Is this what you want?” Casey whispered, curling her finger inside Olivia just enough to draw a low moan from her. “Is this what you’ve been craving?”

Olivia’s hands gripped the sheets above her head, her jaw clenched as she tried to hold on to the last thread of control she had left. “Fuck, Casey…”

Casey grinned, loving how she had Olivia, fierce, unrelenting Olivia, completely at her mercy. She added another finger, increasing the pace just slightly, watching as Olivia’s hips rocked in time with her movements.

“You look so pretty like this,” Casey murmured, leaning down to kiss the hollow of Olivia’s throat, her fingers moving faster now, driving Olivia closer to the edge. “So strong, so tough… but when it comes to this, you’re putty in my hands.”

Olivia’s breath came in ragged gasps, her body tense and coiled beneath Casey’s as she chased the release that was just out of reach. “Casey… please…”

That word, please, sent a thrill down Casey’s spine. She’d won. Olivia was begging, and there was nothing sweeter than the sound of her name on Olivia’s lips in that breathless, desperate plea.

With a triumphant grin, Casey finally gave in, thrusting harder, faster, her fingers finding that perfect rhythm that made Olivia’s body arch off the bed, a strangled cry escaping her as the pleasure mounted.

Casey’s free hand slipped under Olivia’s shirt, her nails raking over Olivia’s ribs, leaving marks in her wake as she pressed harder, deeper, her fingers curling inside Olivia just right.

“Come for me, Liv,” Casey whispered, her lips brushing over Olivia’s jaw, her breath hot against her ear. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

Olivia’s body tensed, her muscles trembling as she teetered on the edge, her nails digging into the sheets. “Casey… I’m…”

With one final thrust, Olivia’s body shattered, her orgasm hitting her with brutal force. She cried out, her back arching off the bed as waves of pleasure crashed through her, her entire body shaking in Casey’s arms.

Casey held her through it, her fingers slowing but never stopping as Olivia rode out the aftershocks, her breath coming in heavy, uneven gasps. When it was over, Casey gently pulled her hand away, her lips pressing soft kisses to Olivia’s flushed skin as she collapsed beside her on the bed.

When Olivia finally caught her breath, she pulled back just enough to meet Casey’s gaze, her lips curving into a small, satisfied smile. “You’re still an asshole.”

Casey chuckled, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. “Yeah,” she murmured against Olivia’s mouth. “But you love me anyway.”

Casey’s smile widened as Olivia kissed her back, her arms wrapping around her neck, pulling her close again. “Yeah,” she whispered, her breath warm against Casey’s skin. “I do.”

By the time Alex returned home from her meeting, the apartment was unusually quiet. Too quiet, she thought, as her eyes skimmed over the living room. Papers were scattered across the floor, a jacket flung over the couch, and furniture slightly displaced.

Her lips curled into a faint smirk. It didn’t take much to figure out what had happened. The trail of clothes leading down the hallway towards the bedroom confirmed her suspicions.

With a quiet sigh, Alex set her bag down and followed the path of discarded items—a jacket, a shirt, one of Olivia’s boots, Casey’s pants—each piece marking the evidence of the storm that had clearly taken place. It was always the same when Olivia and Casey fought: passion flaring in anger, only to dissolve into something much more intense.

Reaching the bedroom door, Alex pushed it open gently, and sure enough, the scene inside was exactly what she had anticipated. Olivia and Casey were tangled together in bed, bare skin glowing in the low light of the room. Olivia was on her back, one arm draped protectively around Casey, who was curled into her side, both of them looking far too content for Alex’s liking considering the likely chaos that had preceded this.

Alex lingered in the doorway for a moment, her gaze taking in the sight of them—peaceful now. A small smile tugged at her lips, but it quickly gave way to a look of mock disapproval.

“What am I going to do with you two?” she asked softly, stepping further into the room.

Olivia stirred first, her dark eyes blinking open to find Alex standing there. A slow, guilty smile spread across her lips. “Hey,” she said, her voice still husky from sleep and… other things.

Casey, more sensitive to tone, shifted in Olivia’s arms and turned her head toward Alex. The moment her eyes met Alex’s, she winced slightly, already anticipating the teasing scolding. “Lexie…” she murmured, her voice soft, as if that one word could erase whatever they’d done.

Alex crossed her arms, pretending to be unimpressed, though the warmth in her eyes betrayed her. “Do I even want to know what started this?”

Olivia stretched languidly in the bed, her muscles flexing subtly beneath her skin, a lazy grin playing on her lips. One that sent a shiver down Alex’s body. “You know how it goes,” she said, her voice deep and unapologetic. “We… had a disagreement.”

Alex raised an eyebrow, though her gaze flickered to the way Olivia’s hand absentmindedly trailed down Casey’s back, tracing the curve of her spine, fingers brushing against her skin. “A disagreement?” she repeated, voice dry. “Is that what you’re calling it?”

Casey shifted under the sheets, biting her lip as she met Alex’s eyes, her own gaze playful. “We’re sorry,” she said softly, slipping out from under the covers to reach toward Alex, leaving her on display for Alex to see, her mouth almost watering at the sight of Casey naked and covered by hickeys Olivia had placed all over her. She sat on her knees on the bed in front of Alex, her fingers brushing Alex’s thigh. “Come here?”

Alex sighed, though she could feel need shoot down to her core when Casey started to unbutton her pants. She felt Olivia’s eyes on them, filled with lust when she saw Casey’s hand dip into Alex's panties. The warmth of Casey’s hand against her made her breath catch in her throat. She couldn’t stay annoyed—not when they both looked at her like that, not when Casey was playing with her, gently teasing her.

Olivia’s dark eyes watched them carefully, and she looked like she was about to drool at the sight. “Come on, Alex,” she murmured, her voice dipping low as she shifted in the bed, the sheet sliding down her body, leaving Alex to feel like she had too many clothes. “You know we didn’t mean to exclude you, and we didn’t mean to leave the house a mess.”

Alex’s breath hitched slightly at the way Olivia’s voice dropped, the unspoken invitation hanging in the air. She had always been the one to hold back, the one who kept her head cool, but even she wasn’t immune to the pull between them—especially not when they both looked at her like this.

With a small shake of her head, Alex lifted Casey’s chin up, pulling her into a deep kiss, her tongue dipping into her mouth, making Casey’s fingers pause their movements. "Stop teasing me, darling."

Olivia stood, going behind Alex, kissing her neck, pressing her body against hers. Her fingers trailed along Alex’s arm in a way that sent a shiver down her spine, and soon enough, Olivia was pulling her shirt off in one swift movement, while Casey pushed her pants down, leaving her in just the dark blue set she had put on that morning. “We missed you,” Olivia whispered, unclasping Alex's bra and letting it fall to the floor with the rest of their clothes.

Casey’s hand slid up Alex’s chest, tracing light patterns across her skin, squeezing, and then going up to bring one of Alex's nipples into her mouth, sucking gently while her other hand played with Alex's clit over her underwear, making her let out a small moan. “We’re sorry we fought.”

Olivia’s hand gently cupped Alex's jaw, her thumb tracing the line of her lips before leaning in to place a slow, deliberate kiss. “We’ll make it up to you,” she whispered, her voice low and full of intent as she pressed another kiss, this time deeper, similar to the one she'd shared with Casey.

As Alex’s lips parted under Olivia’s, Casey’s hands resumed their path, tracing upward from Alex’s hips to her breasts. Casey’s breath was warm against her skin as she murmured against her neck, “Yeah, we’ll make it right.”

Alex shivered, torn between amusement and desire, though the edge in her voice softened as her body responded to their touch. “I should be mad at both of you,” she whispered, her voice breathless as their hands continued to explore her body, leaving no part untouched. Alex’s fingers threaded through Olivia’s dark hair, pulling her in closer as she watched the fire in Olivia's eyes grow darker. “But I’d rather you show me how sorry you are.”

That was all the encouragement they needed. Casey crawled back onto the bed while Olivia gently pushed Alex to follow. Settling back against Casey’s chest, Alex let out a soft sigh as Casey’s hands slid around to cup her breasts, fingers teasing her hardened nipples while laying kisses along her shoulder and jaw.

Alex’s breath hitched when she caught sight of Olivia making her way up the bed, settling between her legs. Olivia's teasing smile sent a spark of anticipation through Alex as she ran a finger over the damp spot on Alex's underwear. “You're already so wet for us, baby,” she teased, her voice low and teasing.

Alex whimpered when Olivia’s finger traced the fabric, her back arching against Casey. Olivia slowly peeled the last barrier of clothing away, her lips leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down Alex's thighs. Her tongue flicked out to leave a few small bites and marks, each one sending a shudder through Alex’s body until she was writhing in Casey's arms.

“Olivia Benson, I swear to God, if you don't stop teasing me—” Alex’s words were cut off by a gasp as Olivia tugged her panties down and Casey pinched her nipples, pulling her further into her hold.

Olivia's fingers finally dipped between Alex’s legs, gliding through her slick folds before finding her clit, tracing it with a slow, torturous rhythm. Alex's hips bucked instinctively, her breath coming out in shallow pants as Olivia played with her, her pace agonizingly slow. When Olivia’s fingers finally pushed into her, Alex moaned softly, her body arching in response. Casey’s hand found its way down between Alex's legs, gently rubbing her clit in tandem with Olivia's movements.

“That’s it, baby,” Casey whispered against Alex's ear, her voice sending shivers down her spine. “Let us hear you.”

Alex, typically the quieter one of the three, let out a louder moan as the pleasure intensified, her voice filling the room. Olivia’s fingers curled inside her, searching for that perfect spot while her mouth continued to trail kisses up Alex's thighs.

Alex’s body clenched around Olivia's fingers as she neared the edge, her breath coming in shallow gasps. Casey turned her head, capturing her lips in a deep kiss, swallowing her moans as Olivia's fingers worked faster and deeper inside her.

When Alex finally broke the kiss, her voice was hoarse as she begged, “Please… please!”

Olivia smirked, almost tempted to tease her more but relented, curling her fingers in just the right way. “Cum for me, baby,” she commanded, her voice rough with desire as both she and Casey pushed Alex over the edge.

Alex’s orgasm ripped through her, her back arching off the bed as she cried out, her body shaking as they continued to work her through the waves of pleasure. Olivia held her hips down as her fingers continued pumping into her until Alex was trembling, completely spent.

Her breathing came in heavy, ragged gasps as she tried to regain control, her body still twitching slightly when Olivia finally removed her fingers. Casey and Olivia laid soft kisses across her skin, Olivia making her way back up to Alex’s face, her fingers wet from where they had been inside her.

Without hesitation, Olivia brought those fingers to Casey’s mouth, who took them eagerly, sucking them clean, her eyes dark with lust. Alex moaned softly, watching them, her body still thrumming with aftershocks.

“You taste so good, baby,” Casey purred in Alex's ear, pulling Olivia’s fingers deeper into her mouth before finally letting go.

Olivia grinned, her eyes flicking between the two women. “Why don’t you get an even better taste of her while I grab a little surprise?” she suggested, her voice thick with need. She gently pulled Casey from under Alex, guiding her out of bed.

As Casey stood, Olivia gestured for Alex to scoot closer to the edge of the bed. When Casey bent over the mattress, her face inches from Alex's still-wet core, Alex already knew what Olivia had in mind.

Olivia disappeared briefly into the bathroom, emerging moments later with their dark blue strap-on—the one Casey loved the most. She strutted over, leaning over Casey’s back, gripping her hair softly. “Now, you’re going to be a good girl and eat Alex out while you take my strap, okay?”

Casey’s pupils were blown wide as she nodded eagerly. But Olivia wasn’t satisfied with that. A firm slap landed on Casey’s ass, making her gasp. “I need you to say it.”

“Yes! Please… please fuck me, Liv,” Casey begged, arching her back and lifting her hips to give Olivia better access.

“Well, go on, then,” Olivia urged, pressing herself against Casey. “Make her cum.”

Casey wasted no time, diving in between Alex’s legs, her tongue immediately licking through her folds. Alex’s head fell back as the first touch of Casey’s mouth sent sparks through her still-sensitive body.

Behind her, Olivia teased the tip of the strap against Casey’s entrance, slipping just the head in before pulling back, drawing out a desperate moan from Casey. The obscene sounds of Casey eating Alex out, paired with Alex’s quiet, breathless gasps, drove Olivia to push deeper inside Casey, setting a steady rhythm as her hips moved in time with Casey’s tongue.

“Fuck… Case…” Alex moaned, her voice high and breathy as Casey’s tongue flicked across her clit. Olivia thrust into Casey harder, her own breath growing ragged as she watched them both fall apart beneath her. She reached down, rubbing Casey’s clit as she fucked her deeper, feeling Casey clench tightly around the strap.

Casey’s moans were muffled against Alex, her movements frantic as she chased her release, her tongue slipping in and out of Alex in time with Olivia’s thrusts. Alex grabbed a fistful of Casey’s hair, her hips bucking against her mouth as she felt herself reaching the edge once again.

“Come on, baby,” Olivia encouraged, her voice hoarse with lust as she thrust harder. “Let go.”

It only took another flick of Casey’s tongue and the roll of Olivia’s hips to send Alex spiraling into another orgasm. Her cries filled the room, her body jerking against Casey’s face as Olivia slammed into her from behind.

Casey came right after, her whole body trembling as Olivia’s hand pressed harder against her clit, pushing her over the edge. They both moaned in unison, their bodies shaking as they rode out their pleasure together, their gasps for breath filling the air between them.

Olivia finally slowed her thrusts, collapsing onto Casey’s back, who in turn, fell against Alex. The three of them lay there, tangled together in a heap of exhausted, satisfied bodies.

Alex was the first to move, tilting Casey’s chin up and kissing her deeply, tasting herself on Casey’s tongue before pulling back to kiss Olivia as well, giving her a taste.

They stayed that way for a long while, content to bask in the afterglow. Alex played with Casey’s hair, Olivia still nestled deep inside her, laying soft kisses on her back. Eventually, Olivia pulled out, discarding the strap beside the bed, her breath still ragged as she settled back between Alex and Casey. The room was filled with the lingering heat of their shared passion, the three of them tangled in a mess of limbs and slow, steady breaths.

Olivia pressed soft kisses against the back of Casey’s neck, her lips trailing up to the corner of her jawline, while her hand found Alex’s, threading the sound of their ragged breaths. Casey hummed, her body still humming with the aftershocks of her release as she nestled closer to Alex, her lips brushing the blonde’s collarbone.

“Maybe you two need to fight more often,” Alex teased, her voice hoarse but playful as she smirked at them. Olivia chuckled softly, her chest rumbling beneath the weight of their bodies.

“You know, you’re insatiable, Cabot,” Olivia murmured against her skin, nipping lightly at her shoulder before leaning over to kiss her deeply, tasting the remnants of the moment still fresh on her lips. When Olivia finally pulled away, she kissed Casey’s cheek, feeling her smile against her mouth.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Casey replied with a tired laugh, her hand finding Alex’s waist and pulling her closer. “But… maybe next time we can skip the fighting and go straight to the making up.”

Alex rolled her eyes playfully but squeezed Casey’s hand, her thumb brushing over her knuckles as she stared up at the ceiling, her mind slowly drifting away from the haze of pleasure. Alex closed her eyes, she exhaled a slow, steady breath, feeling the comfort of their presence, in the way they touched her, in the way they loved her.

For a long while, they simply lay there, wrapped up in each other, the afternoon sun casting soft golden light over their entwined bodies. The rhythm of their breathing slowed, and eventually, Casey shifted, pulling the blanket up over the three of them, cocooning them in warmth. She pressed her lips to Alex’s temple and whispered, “Rest, baby.”

Olivia’s arm draped over them both, pulling them in closer. “Love you,” she added, her voice barely above a whisper, her lips brushing the top of Alex’s head.

And with that, Alex’s eyes fluttered closed, a contented smile on her lips. The three of them drifted off to sleep, the tension from earlier completely gone.

[ihaveathingforwomen]

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

Characters:

Alex Cabot

Casey Novak

A/N: This content is all 18+! If you are under 18, please be respectful and turn away until you're older. Below the cut are the content warnings for all of the fics included. Each fic will have specific warnings attached as well.

Happy October! This is my first kinktober to participate in ever and I can't wait to share with you guys everything that's coming! The full content warnings (below) will be updated with each fic release, that way you'll have a bit of an idea what you're getting into. I will also update the character list above as more fics get added. Ideally, I'm going to have a total of four fics released this month, though there are many more ideas brewing away.

Given that, this goes without saying, but this is kinktober. So some content is not going to be for everybody. Please only read what you're comfortable with, check in with yourself as needed. Otherwise, have fun!

Content Warnings: pet play, collars & leashes, somnophilia, dub con, stepcest, grooming, age gap, anal, dildos, loss of virginity, CNC themes, free use, public sex, strap ons, dom/sub dynamics.

Feral: Casey is exploring herself secretly, but Alex finds out and takes advantage of their shared secret.

Something New: Casey is overwhelmed by all of the problems in her life, including still being a virgin at 25, and her step-mother, Alexandra Cabot offers to help her resolve one her problems.

Sundress: Alex remembers one of Casey's fantasies and indulges eagerly.

[aubvrns]

"Longer Than A Fortnight"

| SVU & Headcanons

Synopsis — Their love languages towards you, and the kind they want to receive.

Note — Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler, Alexandra Cabot, Casey Novak

(Female centered, but no pronouns used.)

———————————————————————

!!

Olivia Benson

• — Olivia Benson is 100% acts of service.

• — She is the kind of lover that will tie your shoelaces, even if she’s running late.

• — WILL AND I MEAN WILL, do the simplest tasks for you just because she can!

• — "What you do mean you went out to get groceries? Without me?"

• — Her way of saying "I love you." is to comb your hair after you finished showering, and she asks you to sit on her lap as she does. (biting my fists rn)

• — Though, she craves for words of affirmation.

• — She didn’t grow up in a home where she felt appreciated, nor did she ever felt the comfort of her parents.

• — But she knew she loved you when you told her the sweetest sentence ever.

• — "I love you so much that you make me get out of bed to get groceries."

• — Seconds later, you felt arms behind you. Not long enough before your shoulder dampens.

Elliot Stabler

• — This man is so quality time.

• — He knows he has a dangerous job that occupies his time, hours and hours in the precinct.

• — But any chance he gets, he will come home to you.

• — "Pack your bags, we’re going to Italy!"

• — He’s afraid of losing you, or letting you go to the plane’s bathroom because you’re comfortable in his arms.

• — Amidst the turbulence, he enjoys your physical touch.

• — From all the abuse and torment he witnessed, it’s rare for him to feel safe nowadays.

• — That’s why he isn’t afraid to admit that he loves the way you kiss his forehead, trace patterns on his gentle calloused hands, or spooning him when he gets nightmares.

• — "Italy won’t run away, let’s just stay 5 more minutes in bed."

• — More so, your vanilla scented hair was his view of a vacation.

Alexandra Cabot

• — Shoot me when I say this blonde’s love language isn’t giving gifts.

• — Being a lawyer with an amazing conviction rate also means having money, money, money!

• — She enjoys spoiling you, giving you everything you need and want just because she can. She refuses to let you reach for your wallet, at all.

• — "I bought the necklace you stared at earlier!"

• — Besides your lips, Ms. Cabot also tracks your eyes. (i would like to have you for christmas)

• — Staring at you, she never noticed how much she longed for acts of service.

• — Her parents were always away, and she was left alone. Her parents’ money were their way of saying they’re sorry they couldn’t come to her graduation.

• — She was surprised when you called in sick, even though she was the one coughing like there’s no tomorrow.

• — "What do you mean I could’ve bought myself medicine instead of your necklace?"

• — You can’t help but smile as you sat beside her laying body, wiping her warm face with a wet cloth as she explains how much your necklace reminds her of your eyes.

Casey Novak

• — This redheaded loser in a hot body cannot go on a day without physical touch.

• — She was raised as an affectionate child, expressing her love greatly as her parents did.

• — Her auburn hair is as warm as her as you lay between her arms, her face on the crook of your neck as she sleeps soundly.

• — "If only court saw how soft and adorable you are when you sleep, you wouldn’t seem so intimidating." You say, playing with her hair.

• — Smiling lovingly, she unconsciously pulls you closer.

• — Aside from her comfort, she adores your words of affirmation.

• — She was the kid who would wait in her teachers’ approval, hoping that she did good enough for their expectations.

• — Luckily for her, she didn’t have to wait anymore.

• — "You think I look soft and adorable when I sleep? I think I want to kiss you right now."

• — And she did, like the soft and adorable loser she is.

!!

[cathrrrine]

how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single”

Sonny Carisi

Amanda Rollins

Nick Amaro

Casey Novak

Alex Cabot

Rafael Barba

Olivia Benson

Fin Tutuola

Elliot Stabler

[theartofcollapse]

World’s Worst Detectives - Casey Novak

a/n: i'm taking requests, so feel free to dm me :) summary: you reveal your relationship with Casey to the SVU squad after 5 years. pairing: Casey Novak x female reader warning: none word count: 880

masterlist

The morning started like any other, Elliot sipping his too hot coffee, Fin scrolling through his phone, Olivia looking over case files, and Munch complaining about the copy machine. Business as usual, until Y/N walked into the precinct wearing a diamond ring the size of a small planet.

"Nice rock,” Fin said casually, before doing a double take. “Wait... damn, Y/N! What’s that about?”

“Yeah,” Olivia chimed in, narrowing her eyes. “What aren’t you telling us?”

Y/N smirked, leaning against the nearest desk. “What? This old thing?” she said, holding up her hand for dramatic effect.

“Holy crap, are you engaged?” Munch asked, adjusting his glasses like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Yep,” Y/N said breezily.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Elliot cut in, setting his coffee down. “Since when are you even dating anyone?”

“Since, like, five years ago,” Y/N said nonchalantly.

The room collectively froze. It was like Y/N had dropped a bomb in the middle of the squad.

“Five years?” Olivia echoed, her voice a mix of shock and betrayal. “You’ve been dating someone for five years and didn’t say a word?”

“We’re just private and don’t bring our personal lives to work,” Y/N replied with a shrug, clearly enjoying their stunned reactions.

“Private?!” Elliot gawked. “You’ve been in a five-year relationship and didn’t think to mention it?”

“Who’s the lucky mystery person?” Fin asked, leaning forward.

Y/N’s grin widened. “Casey.”

“Novak?!”

The room practically erupted at the revelation. And, as if summoned by their collective disbelief, Casey Novak herself walked into the precinct carrying a stack of files. She paused when she saw everyone staring at her like she’d just confessed to a major crime.

“What?” Casey asked, her brow furrowing.

“Oh, nothing,” Munch said, smirking. “We’re just learning that you and Y/N have been secretly dating for five years and are now engaged.”

Casey sighed, glancing at Y/N. “You told them?”

“They noticed the ring,” Y/N said with a shrug. “Kind of hard to miss.”

“Wait,” Olivia cut in, pointing between them. “How did you guys even get together? Like… how did this start?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Y/N said, shooting Casey a playful grin. “She flirted with me during my deposition prep. Very professional.”

“I did not flirt,” Casey said, rolling her eyes. “I advised you. Thoroughly.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/N teased. “And that ‘thorough advice’ turned into drinks after work, then dinner, then…”

“Please don’t finish that sentence,” Elliot groaned.

“You live together?” Olivia asked, her mouth still slightly open in shock.

“For years,” Y/N replied, looking far too pleased with herself.

“For years?” Fin exclaimed. “How the hell did we miss this?”

“You’re the detectives,” Y/N said, dripping with sarcasm. “How did you not find out?”

Elliot threw up his hands. “I don’t know! You two never acted like… you know… a couple.”

Casey let out a dry laugh. “Are you serious? We’ve been dropping hints for years. You just didn’t notice.”

“What hints?” Olivia challenged, crossing her arms.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Casey said, her voice laced with sarcasm. “The time Y/N brought me lunch to court every single day during that Riker’s assault trial?”

“Or,” Y/N added, “the time we came to the precinct’s Christmas party in matching sweaters and you thought it was a ‘cute coincidence.’”

“Oh my God,” Fin muttered. “The ugly snowman sweaters. How did I miss that?”

“And don’t forget, that time Casey stayed over at my apartment during that snowstorm. Elliot, you called me to ask if she made it home safe, and I said, ‘Yeah, she’s in the kitchen making pancakes.’”

Elliot slapped his forehead. “I thought you were just being a good host!”

Munch adjusted his glasses, a suspicious look crossing his face. “What about that time we caught you two sharing a cab after that fundraiser?”

“We went home together,” Casey said bluntly.

Munch’s jaw dropped. “And I just thought… God, I don’t know what I thought.”

“Clearly, not much,” Y/N teased.

Fin leaned back in his chair, laughing. “Man, we really are slippin’. I can’t believe we didn’t piece this together.”

“Hold up,” Olivia said, narrowing her eyes at Casey. “So, when you storm out of here after Y/N gets assigned to some dangerous op, that’s not just you being a concerned ADA, is it?”

“Nope,” Casey said with a sly smile.

“And the way you glare at anyone who so much as flirts with her?” Fin added.

“Yeah, that’s me marking my territory,” Casey said dryly.

“I feel so betrayed,” Elliot muttered, shaking his head.

“Oh, come on,” Y/N said, laughing. “You didn’t really need to know all this. It’s not like it affects your jobs.”

“We’re detectives,” Olivia said, throwing her hands up. “We’re supposed to notice things like this!”

“Maybe you should take a refresher course,” Casey quipped, earning a round of laughter from everyone except Elliot, who still looked like his world had been turned upside down.

“Well,” Munch said, standing up and grabbing his coat. “Congratulations, I guess. But if you two start making out in the precinct, I’m filing a complaint.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Y/N said, shooting Casey a wink. “We save that for home.”

“Stop,” Elliot groaned, covering his ears.

Casey smirked, pulling Y/N toward the door. “Come on, babe. Let’s leave them to process.”

As the two of them left, hand in hand, Olivia let out a deep sigh. “I can’t believe we missed this.”

“Maybe next time,” Fin said, still laughing, “we should start paying attention to what’s right under our noses.”

Munch shook his head. “Or maybe we should all just retire while we still have some dignity.”

[cabotwife]

I have an idea for a reader and Olivia Benson if you’re happy to write it. 2am Olivia gets a frantic call from reader, she’s hyperventilating and her words are coherent. Olivia manages to get out of the reader that she’s home and rushes over. As the approaches her apartment she notices the front door ajar and inside is a complete mess. She hears reader sobbing in her room, and notices she’s naked and bruised and scratched. Reader confesses her ex forced her way in and attacked her. Reader begins to space out lost in her emotions of insecurity and worthlessness, she unknowingly advances on Olivia and ends up kissing her.

thank you for your request! i hope you enjoy 💗

Enter The Night

Olivia Benson x Fem!Reader (tho r isn't described with any pronouns)

warnings: implied assault/rape (up to interpretation), typical SVU themes, poorly written fluff, not proofread

word count: ~1314 (longest one on my page so far yippie!!)

a/n: i love writing for my svu girls! there's definitely not enough fics of any of them, and my requests are open for them all :)

Olivia is jolted away by the sound of her phone ringing. she rubs her eyes as she groans, looking at the alarm clock on her nightstand.

2:43 am.

she sighs as she grabs her phone, her eyes straining at the brightness as she turns it on. the call had already ended, but she decided to check to see if it was important or not.

she frowns when she notices you’ve called more than once. she quickly clicks the ‘call back’ button, pulling the phone up to her ear as she adjusts her position in her bed.

she has an unsettling feeling forming in her chest as the phone continues to ring. finally you pick up the phone.

“y/n?” Olivia’s voice crackles through the phone.

the glass from your shattered phone stabs through your hand as you grip it tightly, pressing it against your face. you breathe heavily, unable to form any words as you can feel yourself slipping out of consciousness.

“hello? y/n?” Olivia repeats your name, worry filling her at the sound of your labored breathing. “can you tell me where you are, honey?”

suddenly the line goes dead, a sharp ‘beep’ can be heard on both sides.

“y/n?” Olivia says panicked as she tears the phone from her ear, she quickly tries to call you again, pulling her phone away to stare at it when it goes straight to voicemail.

the brunette swiftly pulls herself from her bed, hurriedly putting shoes on and grabbing her keys as she attempts to call you again. she rushes out the door of her apartment, not even bothering to change from her sleepwear.

the entire car ride is full of dread and worry, she had a quick phone call with Fin while in the car. she needed to make sure that someone knew where she was going, in case something goes down or she needs back up.

she sloppily parks in front of your apartment building, quickly rushing out of the car and into the building. she practically runs up to your apartment.

Olivia can feel her heart drop into her stomach as she nears your door, noticing it’s open.

“y/n?” she calls, pushing the door open. “oh my god.” she stands in the doorway in a state of sudden shock, everything was destroyed. there were spilled flowers on the ground by the entrance, couch cushions thrown off the couch, picture frames and trinkets spread over the floor by the kitchen island.

she continues into your apartment, taking notice of the shattered glass and blood on the kitchen floor. she freezes again when she hears the sound of heavy breathing. the brunette walks slowly towards the sound.

“oh my god, y/n!” Olivia breathes as your barely conscious body comes into view.

you were laying on your kitchen floor, slouched over against the cabinets, your body cut and bruised, your shirt is missing and your pajama shorts are ripped.

Olivia rushes over to you, dropping onto her knees to cup your cheeks, “hey- hey open your eyes for me.” she says, her voice uncharacteristically shaky.

you open your eyes ever so slightly, attempting to focus on the brunette woman in front of you.

“’livia..” you mumble, your voice raspy and you're quickly thrown into a coughing fit, blood flying from your mouth.

Olivia takes a sharp intake of breath, “i’m going to get help, okay? you’ll be okay.” she mumbles, whipping her phone from her coat pocket, calling Fin to tell him she needs paramedics at your apartment. as she’s speaking on the phone she peels her coat off of herself, wrapping it around your body in an attempt to cover up your near bare body.

she sets her phone down as the call ends. “help is on the way.. can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?” Olivia whispers as she strokes your hair gently, glancing towards the window to see if she could see the lights of the ambulance approaching.

you look up at her with tear filled eyes, “she got me, ‘livia.. she got me.” you whisper, your voice cracking as the tears begin streaming down your cheeks.

Olivia didn’t need to ask to know who you were talking about, she knows it’s Max, your ex girlfriend. since the time she began getting close to you, she had always promised to protect you from your abusive ex girlfriend.

the brunette’s eyes search over your face, “we’ll get her.. okay? what did she do to you?” you drop your head back onto the cabinet, your eyes closing slowly, “hey- hey no, keep your eyes open, honey.”

you force your eyes open, trying, and failing, to focus on Olivia, “’m sleepy..” i mumble, my eyes drooping again.

“come on, y/n, stay awake for me..” her voice is panicked as she pats your cheek, you drift into unconsciousness.

Olivia stands up as she hears footsteps approaching, hearing the sound of the ambulance sirens outside of the building. the brunette rushes towards the ajar front door, stepping out to wave the paramedics into the apartment and showing them where you lay on the floor.

the next few hours are excruciating for Olivia, you had to get surgery in order to remove the shattered vase pieces from your back, and you’re now laying unconscious in your hospital bed.

Olivia is seated next to the head of the bed, no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t fall back asleep, she needed you to be okay.

“liv?” you mumble, your voice hoarse for a number of reasons. your head is pressed against the bed as you squint your eyes over at the older woman sitting beside you.

your sudden voice causes her to jump slightly, her eyes shooting from the book she was reading to you. “y/n.” she breathes as she stands up, leaving the book on the chair as she leans over you.

you grin up at her, “hey, ‘livia.”

“hi,” she whispers, running her fingers through your bangs as she stares down at you. “how're you feeling?”

you hum, shrugging your shoulders but the movement makes you wince, “i dunno.. did you get her?” as soon as the brunette frowns you know, she's still out there.

the room goes silent all except for the buzz of the lights and the slow beeping of the heart monitor. 

“thank you.” it comes out as a whisper, but it confuses her nonetheless.

she scrunches her eyebrows in confusion as her eyes meet yours once more. “for what?”

it's silent for a moment before you respond, “for answering my call.. i suppose.” you gaze up at her.

a smile tugs at the brunette's lips, “i'll always answer when you call me.” she says gently “no matter the time, or the day, or how i feel..”

you giggle, “even if you hate me?” 

her smile falls, but only slightly, “oh, y/n.. i could never hate you.” she whispers, her hand cupping your cheek.

you can feel your cheeks heat up slightly, “oh.” you meet her eyes again before your gaze drops to her lips. slowly you lean in before eventually you're pressing your lips to hers in a tender kiss.

once you realize what you’ve done you pull away, eyes wide. 

it’s silent.

your eyes begin filling with tears, “liv-” before you can say anything, Olivia leans in, kissing you. you quickly reciprocate the kiss. when you both pull away she is smiling at you, her eyes soft and her feelings towards you are evident in them.

“i’ve wanted to do that for a while..” she whispers, her thumb gently rubbing your cheek bone. 

“yeah?” you chuckle, the tears that were in your eyes had now run down your cheeks, being quickly rubbed away by the brunette.

“mhmm,” Olivia hums, a loving smile on her face as she holds the gentle eye contact with you.

[caseynovaksecretgf]

Sporty gf Nerdy gf

[calex-in-subtext]

Olivia: Im obsessed with your top, alex.

*Alex pulling casey to her side protectively*

Alex: She has a name you know!

[iwoulddieforher]

Rigid | Casey Novak × Alex Cabot

Author's Note: This got super out of hand with the length- I think this is the longest fanfiction I've ever written. Hope you enjoy it, though <3 ~16k+ words

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff. I like the idea of Alex being neurodivergent in some way, even if she doesn't know it herself, so some of her self-descriptions will come off that way.

Summary: Alex wants desperately to be able to relax like she sees her colleagues doing, and a night watching a coworker she has her eye on- Casey Novak- might present itself as the opportunity to get what she wants.

Porcelain dolls strung up by small transparent strings were significantly less rigid than Alex Cabot currently felt. How she usually felt, even.

High-class family, posh preparatory school, strategically made connections rather than real relationships were all she grew up knowing. Everything had a meaning, a purpose, a reason for why it was so, and that also applied to every detail of her appearance and demeanor must similarly be intentional. She grew up internalizing that, and thus, as an adult she utterly lacked the ability to let her spine curve into a natural slump, to lay in bed without wondering what it would look like to a non-existent observer, to kiss someone in a way that focused on the intimacy rather than the shifted facade that she displayed in order to appear desirable.

It felt inhuman. She really hated it. The feeling she coped with daily made her skin crawl as if it was begging to be torn off to reveal a real person behind it instead of the ever-complicating mask.

It was especially noticeable to her on days like these, where a high-profile case had just been absolutely devoured by her colleague, Casey Novak, so the squad room was positively thrumming with excitement and a collective sense of triumph. Olivia, the one Alex had made a habit of perching herself by, was currently at the corner store to pick up a bottle of something to share, so the attorney was standing almost aimlessly against the brunette detective's desk. Across the desk was Stabler, in his respective chair, looking up at Casey who had chosen to place herself on the edge of his desk. Munch was in his rolly-chair, with Tutuola leaning over the back of it, Cragen standing stiffly but not uncomfortably near the commotion like a proud father.

"And that absolutely little weasel of a man-" Casey chirps, as much as a voice as low as hers could sound like a chirp, interrupted by a bark of laughter from Stabler, "Sorry, that boot-licking short ass bottom-feeding rodent-"

"Casey!" Stabler admonished, although his eyes were shining with amusement, and the faux blonde woman laughed and swatted at him half-heartedly.

"Yes, okay, I'll mind my manners. The defense counselor, before the trial, told me that because I'm pretty if I want after the duration of court he'll give me some tips on improving- and now I won, and when he was walking out, I managed to shoot him a smile and say 'if you want any tips, just call Novak at the DA's office'- I thought he was going to deck me right there-"

Casey's storytelling is rewarded with a roar of laughter from the men, her face shining with victory and the aftereffects of a battle well fought, and Alex can't help but find her beautiful. Casey Novak was anything but rigid, and Alex wished she was more like that- even if Casey's temper did get her in trouble more frequently than one would wish.

"Okay, well, don't let your victory get you all haughty, I'm still going to kick your ass tonight." Stabler snorts, after the laughter had died down, which sends Casey into a refreshed cascade of giggles.

"You? Kick my ass? Oh, you wish."

"Wait," Alex cuts in, everyone's eyes flickering to her as if they were slightly off guard that she was still following the conversation, "what's this about kicking each other's asses?"

"I'm going to hand Stabler his balls on the softball field tonight-" Casey starts before Stabler swings at her playfully and she gets distracted by shooting him a playful warning look. Alex forgot how much they acted like siblings sometimes, but the way they seemed to bounce off each other and banter so smoothly made them seem like twins. She could very easily imagine them in early teens kicking each other under a dining room table.

"Recently we've all started getting together to play softball together," Stabler interjects, granting Alex a serious response, "after big cases on the weekends we get together with some other cops and some other lawyers at night. Good way to blow off steam if justice isn't served or good way to celebrate if we do."

“It used to be a big thing, there were inter-department tournaments at the DA’s office or whatever, but now us who liked it so much just play for the hell of it, and also against the cops.” Casey nods, finally done with Stabler after managing to flick him in the middle of the forehead with her finger, which he glares at her for.

"And us who don't play softball get drunk while watching 'em." Munch says, leaning back in his swivel, with Tutuola adding a nod from just above him.

Alex bit her tongue, blinking in mild surprise. Back before she had 'died', they had gone to bars together to celebrate such things, and she didn't know any of them had really had any penchant for sports outside of Stabler occasionally mentioning his daughter's soccer or basketball results. She certainly had no clue Casey was apparently formidable enough on a softball field to hold on against a built detective such as Stabler.

"Speaking of drunk, I'm back." Olivia announces, strolling into the precinct once more, finding her way to stand beside Alex while cradling two bottles of some discounted wine, holding one up as evidence.

"Oh I got the worst fucking hangover from that shit-" Fin fires off immediately, who then gets silenced by a snort from Olivia, and the warm atmosphere is immediately resumed, Novak and Stabler beginning to chatter about proper swinging technique and which one of them was doing it wrong while Munch, Benson, and Tutuola start arguing over alcohol. Alex felt rather out of place.

Tone switching over to something light and banter-y was usually a bit difficult for her after grueling caseloads, and today especially she was just done. She didn't want to leave, though, she didn't want to be alone or god forbid find company with other stiff-necked attorneys to chat with hollow words about unnecessary topics, but involving herself in this easy exchange- especially since she wasn't entirely sure if she was invited- was hard.

"Oh, how about you join us, Alex?" Olivia suddenly exits her own argument to turn towards the blonde, her face soft the way it usually was when it came to her. "I know it's not your type of thing, probably, but it would be nice to have you there."

Her voice is earnest, and Alex had been wishing someone would invite her to accompany the drinkers, so although she entertained the puppy-eyes Benson made at her for a few seconds longer than necessary she did ultimately accept.

"Does this mean we can put bottles of something more worth drinking on Cabot's platinum card?" Munch mutters, pushing his dark glasses up the bridge of his nose, and Alex snorts.

"Tough luck, but if we go to a bar after I'll carry a round."

Olivia's head whips around and stares pointedly at Casey, firing off a quick, "No tequila," to which Casey makes the most indignant face Alex could possibly imagine on the copper-headed woman.

"Hey, that was not my fault- and also only once-" Casey defends, and Stabler starts laughing, slapping his fist on the table.

"Do you remember the whole thing with that-"

"Yes," Casey snaps, "I'm sure mostly everyone does, and if they don't then-"

"Casey, Alex wouldn't know." Olivia says lightly, elbowing the mentioned blonde, "Come on, Alex, aren't you curious? We should retell this for your sake, right?"

Alex's icy blue eyes met Casey's dense green ones, and she was momentarily indecisive. She wasn't friends with Novak, and she wasn't going to pretend that she was, as much as she enjoyed watching the copper-headed attorney play with the coworkers she was genuinely close to. She wanted to know, but as soon as she saw the guard up in Casey's posture, the way that Alex's rigid demeanor was mirrored immediately by the younger woman, she faltered.

Alex was stiff. Her spine was held to an excessively intentional angle. Even though to everyone else she seemed almost as natural as the rest of them, learned iron in her veins commanded her to be a degree of rigidness that came close to robotic. And Casey was the farthest thing from imperceptive.

In the courtroom, it was necessary to shoot the same metaphorical bullet as the one that had been fired at you, and Casey did nothing short, her vertebrae stacking above one another as she readjusted herself, jaw growing more firm, her eyes flickering to become hard and sharp in a way that would almost seem predatory had it not been for Alex's recognition that this was entirely procedural for the younger attorney. Alex knew in her head too that if she was interacting with someone else like this, she'd have done the same thing.

Lawyers had a way of exchanging thoughts without verbalization, and Casey and Alex were currently having an odd back-and-forth that happened within a fraction of a second completely unbeknownst to the rest of the room. Casey registered the swirl of thoughts in Alex's mind and her inability to formulate a response in time to seem natural, and with the ball in her court, decided to give the blonde attorney an out.

"Okay, fine," she huffed, as though she was actually unwilling to share, despite the fact she was fully aware Alex would not have moved to force her to and she could easily tamp down or distract the eager detectives, "long story short, Olivia and I started fighting, and she made a jab about me no longer being white collar's youth prodigy, so I tried.. to prove how youthful I still was- er, still am."

Alex wrinkled the tip of her nose, pursing her lips to stop from laughing at that, and Casey twitched an eyebrow jokingly before shaking her head.

As soon as her head turned, the copper-headed attorney decided to release the inelastic facade she had just momentarily constructed, leaning backward once more. To the eye of the others, nothing that demanded the level of thought that had just been executed had come close to occurring.

The older attorney wasn't entirely sure how to reward Casey for her kindness in that exchange, but she felt like she should. She made a mental note that she owed Casey something- perhaps if the copper-headed woman snarked at her sometime in the future, she'd let it go without question, or some similar social grace. Her uncle has drilled in the 'advice' that one never forgets what they owe another, lest suddenly be surprised when the other expects to collect.

"She ended up kissing this random blonde woman who was going through a divorce." Munch supplied helpfully, who earned a glare from Casey in return, and the seconds returned to passing at a more natural rate rather than the slowed pace Alex had just felt like they moved in. The conversation was resumed.

"No, the bad part wasn't even that she made out with her, but the fact her flirting consisted entirely of legal jargon-" Olivia filled in, and Alex snorted softly as Casey's head whipped in the other direction to glare at her instead.

"Okay, okay, listen- first of all, she was not a random woman, her name was Jane and we did keep in contact for the duration of her vacation here-" Casey raised a finger, cutting Liv off, "and if you understood any sort of vocabulary past fifth grade, it would have made perfect sense to you."

Alex paused, deciding this was probably a point at which a response was required to reestablish her presence so she could stop relying on Olivia to make her involved, "Well, it does seem like a- ... youthful thing to do?"

Casey's jaw fell slightly agape, and then she closed it with a huff. "Okay, well. Olivia's just pissed because I can actually involve myself with women."

"I'm not gay!" The brunette protested indignantly, to which Casey and Elliot exchanged a look that read as what-is-she-on.

Olivia was silenced for a moment, bristling, before extending her arm to rest on Alex's. "Alex, help me out, us straight girls need to stick together with all this-"

"Straight?" Alex questioned, an uncomfortable chuckle in her throat, "Olivia, you didn't know I'm-?"

"What?!" Olivia cried, straightening immediately, not affronted but apparently incredibly surprised, which Alex internally sighed at, only to be distracted by a low whistle from Casey that she decided not to respond to.

Internally, Alex was grappling with the new information that Casey was sapphic. She was too, although she understood why Liv hadn't known, she wasn't super forthright with her identity- but Casey?

After a moment's contemplation, she realized that this actually made a lot of sense and she felt mildly stupid for not having realized on her own.

"Yeah," Stabler says after a pause, "I think this is our cue to get going to the softball diamond before Liv has her whole am-i-gay breakdown right here in the squad room."

The rag-tag group collectively nods, shuffling for possessions, with Olivia still apparently on edge and lost in an internal conversation with herself about the possibility of homosexuality. After a few more moments of collecting items or putting things into respective places, and after Casey pats Olivia sympathetically on the shoulder, they begin to head out to the parking lot.

Alex clicked the key to her Cadillac, briefly pausing to obtain the address of the sports place as well as a time, since a few people wanted to drop by home to discard professional belongings or change, and because a few members of the DA's teams were still in session, before studying the exits of her colleagues.

Tutuola and Munch separate to respective vehicles, with Olivia being given a ride by Stabler as usual, and Casey splitting off from the group entirely to unlock her bike. Cragen excuses himself with the explanation that he's not going to meet up with the rest of them, he doesn't play softball nor does he drink so he's spending a nice night in instead.

Everyone's method of transportation seemed in some way reflective of themselves. Munch's windows were so tinted Alex was vaguely concerned about the potential illegality of it and Fin's car is beat up in a way that shows he doesn't abide by the physics of curbs. Olivia and Elliot's carpooling constantly served as a testament to their bond as detectives, and Casey...

"I still can't believe you actually bike here every morning. While wearing the suit? Jesus." Stabler bantered, leaning on the hood of his own car while watching Casey fumble with the lock on her bike.

"Well," she replied in a curt rasp, straightening, "that's why my legs are toned and yours would snap under water pressure-" she stopped to point at him almost accusingly, "and don't get me started on cardiovascular health."

Olivia drags Elliot into his car before the two start bickering again, and that leaves Alex watching Casey out of the corner of her eye as the attorney fixes her bike locks to the luggage rack before swinging one leg over the seat and taking off, her chin nestled in her scarf, her mid-length hair swirling behind her.

For a second too long, she lingers, but then Alex climbs into her cold car, groaning slightly at the feeling of the stiff leather on her back, before driving without picking out a destination. She didn't have anything she felt uncomfortable leaving in her car, nor did she have anything to pick up, so going to her penthouse was somewhat pointless. However, with about an hour until the designated time, staring out the window at the city streets far below seemed more interesting than staring at said streets on the ground level while seated aimlessly in her car, so she went home.

The elevator opened directly into her apartment, so she needed to use her key in the elevator pad itself, and when she did and the doors opened she dropped her briefcase right next to the door- it fell exactly the same way it would've if she had intentionally placed it, which makes her mildly irritated.

She didn't bother to kick off her shoes, placing herself on the couch in her apartment, and staring blankly at the wall. Her spine was straight, her legs angled to the side in the way her mother had taught her to make them look longer, her hands folded in her lap. Her apartment felt desolate. Her skin crawled.

She tried to focus on something- anything, really, in her apartment- but all she was met with was cold, smooth marble that her eyes slid off of. Plaquettes held her accomplishments that suddenly felt utterly pointless, framed pictures of her family or college friends that seemed impersonal. She couldn't keep a plant alive and she had never actually gone decor shopping herself, so the place was devoid of color, only shades of grey.

Alex groaned and placed her hands over her eyes under her glasses, tilting her spine backward until it hit the back of the sofa. It felt wrong, everything felt wrong, and her skin felt like it was crawling, her bones turning and burning inside her like she imagined cement would feel. It was uncomfortable in a way that wasn't painful- but that didn't stop her from fixating on the discomfort immensely.

The attorney rolled to the side, swinging her heels up onto the couch, one hand cradling her head and the other reaching to tug off her glasses. Strangely, in the dim blue lighting of the sun setting behind heavy clouds, her mind shifted to the opposite of said cold color- it landed on the shade of Casey's hair.

In the DA's office or in court when they crossed paths, Casey was stiff in the way every lawyer Alex had ever encountered was. The degree of rigidness that was learned by years of constant practice of saying and acting exclusively in intentional ways. Still, though, her eyes were always warm, in a way lawyer's eyes seldom were. But when she relaxed, which she was able to do, unlike Alex, she was simultaneously the same and also a completely different person.

She'd be lying to say she didn't know Casey was athletic- despite her unaware that she played softball, or was to any degree interested in her own physique the way her exchanges with Stabler today suggested- Alex had let her eyes linger on the other woman's arms on occasion in warmer environments when the redhead rolled her sleeves up. Her mind constructed the image of running her finger along the toned curve of her forearm, up her arm, and towards the delicate curve of her neck. In her imagination, Casey's skin was warm, and it only warmed further at Alex's motion. When she met Casey's olive-colored eyes, she was already looking back at her, eyes only half-lidded.

She felt her own cheek flush in her palm, and she sat up, shaking off the thought, but the sensation of warmth in her cheeks and the imagined feeling in the pad of her fingertip was enough to pull her off the couch, to the bathroom, where she took off the makeup she had done for court, tugging her suit jacket off, fumbling off her belt.

She wanted out of the porcelain, out of her skin for a night. She had seen the way Casey's guard had flickered up when she had faced her in the squad room, holding a mirror to the rigid body across from her, and she wanted out. The solution to that was to try to force the stiffness out of her soul so Casey wouldn't have any such thing to mirror. She had a reputation to uphold with the rest of the squad, with Liv and with Stabler, but Casey was more perceptive than Liv was- at least when it came to her- and she felt as though she knew enough to play it safe while still getting what she wanted. It would be an issue if Liv or Stabler or any of the other detectives or such lost respect for her professional standing. She was diligent, and hardworking, and she valued that about herself immensely, and she was not about to make the mistake of letting that persona fumble for a night’s activity. But still, she wanted a night where her skin felt like it belonged to her. If Casey's eyes didn't harden when she looked at her, maybe that would be close enough.

Her formal attire was replaced quickly, boot cut jeans instead of her slacks and although she didn't remove her white blouse she layered it with a loose sweater. She ran her fingers through her hair, intentionally messing with it, before nodding with satisfaction at her now slightly more casual appearance. The collar of her blouse sticking up through the neckline of her sweater was enough to not shift the persona the detectives identified with her, but she decided it was enough. It was enough that her uncle would click his tongue at her for wearing jeans while around a colleague.

She then proceeded to sit almost aimlessly on her couch again, drumming her fingers on her lap while waiting for the time to elapse so she could go to the softball field without being the first one there. In her mind, she debated writing up some notes or preparing for a case in the coming week, but she knew if she went back into lawyer mode it would just be worse trying to shake it off again. Unfortunately for her, as a kid all her hobbies were dictated- fencing, equestrian, ballroom dance and such, and since she never really grew attached to any of them and then failed to procure a hobby or pastime in her adult life, she didn't have much else to do.

Her phone chimed and she picked it up, assuming it would be something idle or law-related, only to find a text from a number she recognized, her heart thrumming insistently when it realized whose message she was currently reading.

Casey Novak→ Hello Alex, this is Casey (Novak, the one you work with, in case you know another)

Casey Novak→ Apologies for jumping this on you, but any chance we could carpool tonight? My bike is having a technical issue I can't be bothered with fixing it currently.

She waited a couple seconds before answering with,

← Seems doable. Send me your address?

Casey responded to that within a minute and Alex exhaled, mentally registering where that was, before standing up. With the detour of picking up Casey as well as the fact it doesn't really matter if she's early now because she's accompanying a player, she feels soothed to leave soon.

← Would you find it alright if I came in about a half hour?

Casey Novak→ More than alright, you have my thanks

← I'm more than happy to help.

After a pause, the message goes on read, and Alex doesn't really know what she had expected as a response. Mildly discontented, she put her phone down.

If she wasn't about to be driving, she would drink a glass of wine, but alas that was quite literally the point so she could not indulge herself. She pondered briefly the logistics of getting drunk when she was at the softball diamond, but worst comes to worst she’d just have to taxi. And, she supposed, would have to take Casey also in said taxi.

She felt her jaw grow a bit firmer at the constant resurfacing of Casey Novak in the back of her mind. Alright, sure, now they actually had plans and she was picking her up, so it made sense. But still. It wasn't exactly unlike her to develop random infatuations, desires to knock people she admired and simultaneously was irritated by down a peg, god knows the mistake with Jim Steele- but… Casey seemed… different.

Her heart muttered that Casey seemed warm and alive and her skin seemed soft and she was entirely unlike anyone Alex had ever grown attached to, Casey was not a power play, Casey was not a mind game. Casey was Casey. Alex didn't really understand what that meant.

She clicked her tongue to herself and then decided that no, she would not pursue anything with Casey. She had been toying with the idea of making that dream of tracing up Casey’s forearms with her fingertips a reality, perhaps as a flirty joke she could pass off as drunken boldness. But now her heart started to fumble in her chest at the thought, and not only in a good way. She wasn't exactly sure why her mind was suddenly reeled in the polar opposite direction of what she had been fantasizing about only a couple of minutes ago, but now she felt mildly stressed. Her skin crept little patterns on her nerves like ants blacking out a lamp, eating through power cords.

Maybe the fact she didn't really understand Casey is what sent little alarm bells ringing in her mind. To pursue meant to trust and to trust meant she had to know it all. She felt like she knew essentially nothing.

Sometimes Alex really wished she was less self-aware. She analyzed every thought or feeling she had like it was someone else’s, and therefore frequently felt as though she was drowning in someone else’s brain when in reality she was still sitting on her couch in her apartment in her clothes in her- supposedly her- skin.

It was time to leave now, anyway, so she cut herself off from her own train of thoughts to stand, and collect some items in one of her more used purses in case alcohol was split, it got snatched, or some other random misfortune that may occur to a handbag. Once she was pleased with her level of preparation she double-checked the contents one last time- car keys, one of her more mildly used wallets, phone, power bank, medical emergency kit, a notepad, a block of sticky notes, her pager, and a pen. She pulled a scarf on as an afterthought, not entirely sure if the temperature would drop as it got dark out but decided not to take that risk.

With that, she left her penthouse, standing stiffly in the elevator on the way down, staring at herself in the reflective wall the metal box had. Hmm.

Within twenty minutes, and exactly on time to the thirty minutes she had offered Casey earlier, she was parked on the street outside Casey’s address, looking up at a rather elegant brownstone. Sometimes she mused to herself that the modern aesthetic of her apartment complex far outranked the sort of shabby, oftentimes falling apart older buildings, but this seemed.. it seemed vaguely Elysian. She approved of it.

← I’m outside

Casey Novak → I’m sorry, I’m running a little late. Would you like to come up? I’ll buzz you in.

← I can wait in my car, I don't want to intrude.

Casey Novak → I’ll feel better if you just come on in. I’m inviting you. Please.

Alex blinked at that message, slowly typing out,

← Okay, then. If you're sure.

She exited her car with a furrow in her brow, locking the vehicle, and then continuing the steps up to the doorbell placard, where she found Novak’s name printed in a thin, flat font. She pressed the small silver button next to it, making a mental note of the floor and roughly which door it should be based on doorbell placement. A startling buzzing sound went off that Alex was thankfully prepared for, and she pushed open the frankly unnecessary large wood door. She traveled up the steps, to the third floor, deciding that she should start exercising more often if going up only three floors already had her inhaling a bit sharper, and she didn't need to wander reading the names next to the ringers because Casey’s door was open ajar and she was peeking her eye through the crack.

Alex caught a glimpse of Casey’s smile through the small opening, before the copper-headed woman disappeared in a flash, waving Alex in. She did as instructed, closing the door behind her tentatively. Immediately, she could not see Casey in her own apartment.

“Sorry,” the woman called, “I decided I wanted to shower beforehand so I need to straighten my hair again. That's why it's taking me a minute. Just sit down wherever you like, I’ll be done in just a second.”

“You straighten your hair?” Alex asked curiously, standing awkwardly in the foyer. Although Casey had instructed her to sit, she couldn't imagine pulling a chair out anywhere or settling herself on the younger attorney’s couch.

Inhaling deeply, she resigned to studying Casey's apartment interior with interest.

The interior walls were a smooth ivory, the floorboards a dark wood that matched the accents- the window and door frames, the stairs. Casey’s apartment was a lot more vertical than her own- where Alex had half of a floor, so her apartment was wide horizontally as well as deep, the walls were only a couple of feet on each side in the entry hallway and Alex couldn't imagine the rooms being, well, anywhere as large as her’s. But somehow, the comparison did not change the charm of the apartment.

Perhaps that had something to do with the atmosphere. It smelled like sandalwood and caramel, and the walls were lined with memorabilia- which Alex considered briefly was strange, because Casey's desk and office were almost barren considering some of the other workstations she had seen. She skimmed over smiling faces, Casey with dozens of people she’d see in this photo and never again. Casey with a little girl propped up on her hip, holding a little boy by the hand on a beach, all three smiling at the camera, but in a way that made it seem like it was almost unintentional, like someone had captured a moment in a camera which usually only existed in fond memory. Casey kissing a man with short brown hair, her arms, which seemed slightly thinner in the photo than Alex had grown to know them, (although the woman was always slim,) wrapping around his shoulders. She looked younger, happy, smiling into the kiss, and he did too. Probably during college, Alex mused. Casey’s finger, resting lovingly on his shoulder, was adorned with a silver band. Alex blinked.

She chided herself to move on with her inspection. Whoever this person was, it didn't seem like they were still in her life, unless Casey had been cheating on him with ‘Jane’. Stabler didn't take well to cheaters, so Alex really doubted that. She wasn't sure what the thrum of her heart was meant for- so she just exhaled. She couldn't drag her eyes away from it, though.

When she inhaled again, she was greeted with the scent of whatever hair products Casey was currently employing. It dragged her out of her thoughts, and it made her twinge with guilt at the thought of analyzing Casey’s history through her personal pictures. Casey was kind enough to be undeserving of an inspection.

There was no door between the foyer and the kitchen, so Alex turned to focus on that instead, her blue eyes skimming over what appeared to be a sourdough starter. Music played quietly out of some surround sound speaker, somewhere, something idle, and indie.

The dark brown of the floor was complimented well by the constant appearance of plants- not flowers, but succulents or similar. Apparently, Casey was in the middle of repotting one, because the table had a large tray with items that would suggest that.

“Oh, sorry about that-” Casey mused, appearing suddenly next to her, “I was trying to swap out pots for that one- roots were getting too big, you know, but then I got buzzed for a warrant this morning and dropped it.”

She smelled really good, and Alex wasn't happy that that was the first thing she noticed, but she did. Casey’s perfume, which Alex had noted a couple of times in the DA’s office, had just been freshly reapplied, and her hair was perfect in a way that only lasted a couple of moments after styling it. She looked in a way that Alex could only describe as warm.

Casey was dressed in a blue softball jersey that had ‘Sex Crimes’ bolded on the front in a lacy font and tracksuit pants. The usual frustration carried in her eyes and eyebrows was gone entirely, replaced with lights of excitement that showed in the way she held her hands and smiled. She wasn't wearing any makeup, only a dark lip balm that Alex now wanted to know the brand of.

“And yes,” Casey said, replying to Alex’s comment from a moment ago, despite it having felt like an eternity since then to Alex, “I do have to straighten my hair. Not all of us can be blessed with locks like yours, Miss Cabot.”

Ignoring the teasing nature of her voice as she said Alex’s more formal name, the blonde still lifted her eyebrows as if pained and shot her a look. “Please never call me ‘Miss Cabot' again- It’s just Alex to you.”

“Alright, ‘just Alex’-” Casey said, with an amused huff, before turning and waving at her abode, “verdict? You seemed interested.”

“I-” Alex pursed her lips. Casey was not stupid. If she hadn't been interested, she would've sat down like Casey had initially instructed or been on her phone, or been staring off into space. “I like it. You have a very lovely apartment. It suits you.”

“Thank you.” Casey smiles, pleased, before glancing back down at the houseplant activity. “It would feel better if I had gotten to finish this, though. My mom insists I keep them all.”

“Why?”

“You know how in law school, you’d stay shut in all the time, sleep at horrible hours, and keep the blinds drawn? She bought me a million plants and kept making me show her they were still alive to make sure I was airing my dorm and letting sunlight in. And that I was looking up from my laptop at least for a minute a day.” Casey snorts, but she seems fond of my memory. “I guess she doesn't really insist I keep them anymore. She hasn't checked, anyway. But I got used to it. I swapped out her delicate plants for succulents, though, because I forget to water them sometimes. I’m not here very much.”

“Your mother seems like an attentive woman,” Alex comments, watching as Casey’s eyes grow momentarily heavy, staring still at the plant, before she blinked it off.

“I’ve been blessed,” she answers smoothly instead, “with a wonderful family.”

There's an awkward beat of hesitation, where neither knows what to say, before Casey exhales and forces a smile. “Have you eaten anything? If you're going to drink with Tutuola, you probably need something to eat. And I need to grab my gear and such. If we leave now, we’d still be significantly early.”

“I had breakfast-” Alex starts, before seeing Casey raise an eyebrow at her, “but it was a large one, Casey, I’m not trying to tear up your kitchen.”

“Sweet or savory?” Was the other woman’s only response as she strolled into her kitchen, opening cabinets and ruffling through items.

“I don't have the time to make you something properly right now, but God help it if I let you leave here without eating something.”

Alex stood uncomfortably in the doorway to the kitchen, a small unsure frown on her face, so Casey shot her a pointed look, walked over, grabbed her arm, lightly guided and then shoved her into a chair, and then went back to trying to find something to offer her.

“You seem,” Casey looked at her as if studying her brain through her skull, “as though you’d have a sweet tooth.”

“Why do you say that?” Alex looked at her, slightly indignant. Outside of being used as a method of intimidation, it was normally rude to brazenly note observations as such in the world she was used to. It was far more polite to make it sound as though it was a question.

But Casey just laughed softly, pulling a box out of the fridge and popping the lid. She fumbled with the contents for a few seconds. In the chair Casey had set her down in, Alex could not see what it was until Casey approached, holding a dessert fork in one hand with her other carrying a plate with a generous portion of red velvet cake.

“Fancy ass cake for a fancy ass lady. I made this yesterday, so I think it's still fine to serve you, even if the frosting set a bit more than I prefer. You don't have to eat it all, but I hope you at least try it.”

With that, and not even waiting for a thank you, Casey brushed past, going to collect her sports gear. Alex felt like her head was spinning slightly with the lack of normal procedure. She was being left alone to eat cake in Casey’s apartment? Wasn't the redhead worried she would- well, Casey had commented on the fact she knew Alex was borderline snooping, but to leave her alone after that? How trusting was she? Unless this was some sort of test.

Alex decided to proceed as if it were. What would Casey be testing? How much Alex trusted her? Maybe she thought Alex wouldn't eat food a stranger gave her, well- not entirely stranger, but still. But she couldn't fault her for that, could she? Regardless, Alex wasn't like that anyway. Maybe she was testing if Alex was too prudish to eat what she had provided. That sent a small jolt down her spine- she really didn't want Casey to think she was a snob- so she lifted the fork and in small, precise movements separated a small piece from the slice.

As soon as she felt it on her tongue, she immediately broke off a much larger portion to follow it with. Fuck. It was delicious.

Soft vanilla cream coated somehow equally soft red velvet generously, but not overwhelmingly, and once Alex separated off the middle she could see it was triple layered. The flavor was delicate, but in a way that made every taste bud in her mouth moan.

If she had to go celibate for the rest of her life to eat something like this again, she just might have to consider that. This was better than sex.

“Grandmother’s recipe,” Casey purred, reappearing with a large duffel slung over her shoulder, leaning in the doorway. “Well, not really, but it was one of the first things she made after she got access to the Internet and all the baking blogs one can find on there.”

Alex was physically startled, too engrossed in her eating to have realized Casey’s presence had reappeared. Casey easily could have murdered her while she was eating cake, and she wouldn't have looked up once.

She pushed the plate as if making to stand up, holding a hand in front of her mouth as her mother had taught her- it was impolite to see people see one chew, after all- but Casey shook her head quickly and took a seat next to her, leaning back, the duffel hitting the floor with a soft thud while Casey stretched out her arms, arched her spine languidly. Alex tried not to let her eyes linger on the soft amount of muscle coating her.

“By all means, I don't mean to interrupt your indulgence.”

Alex sheepishly turned back, pausing only for a fraction of a second before returning to shoveling the cake into her mouth as gracefully as she could. Casey looked very pleased, so that settled her nerves by a fraction. She couldn't and also wouldn't complain about Casey's bemused grin.

“It's- it’s just been a while since I’ve eaten anything this good.” Alex said after a swallow, straightening in her chair a little bit, looking at the remaining bites on her plate as if they were whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

“You look good like this,” Casey said, which Alex’s eyes widened at, blinking up from the cake to Casey, who strangely looked equally delicious, “you're normally so tense. Glad my baking can fix that.”

“I- uhm,”

Casey chuckled at Alex’s fluster, resting her head in her hand. “Just teasing you. But really, I am glad you're enjoying it.”

“How did you learn to bake like this?” Alex murmured, decided to switch tracks since she wasn't very sure what was happening.

The copper-headed woman only shrugged. “You learn in a family as large as mine. I mean, if both of my parents were busy, I’m not about to let all the younger ones go hungry because the older one decided to order something only for herself. And now all my nieces and nephews demand I make them sugary shit when I’m over, so my pastries are decent enough.”

In the back of her mind, Alex was now a bit upset that she couldn't cook. Casey’s reasoning that it was due to her family made sense, but it also twinged Alex’s mind that if her parents were busy and she had nothing to eat, they'd just call for the private chef to come up and make her something nutritious enough. When she was in college, on her allowance, she had just kept ordering delivery. Casey and her seemed to contrast each other notably in that way.

“How many siblings, if I may ask?”

“Four. I have an older sister, and then there was me, and then two twin brothers and my baby sister. Not that she’s much of a baby anymore- she graduated college last year- but still. She'll always be little to me.” Casey exhaled, evidently very fond, before glancing back up. “And you, Alex?”

“I’m- I’m an only child.” Alex said, after a second, and before she could stop herself, “they needed an heir.”

Casey paused, looking up at her thoughtfully, before nodding. “I wished I was an only child a lot growing up. It's different now that I have my own life and everything, but… mm. Families are complicated.”

Alex nodded sagely at that, finally finishing her cake, and then after a small pause asked, “Did you want your own?”

The second she said it, she felt like it was wrong. It was an intrusion, and she was already in Casey’s apartment in Casey’s chair eating Casey's food with Casey's utensils. She was overstepping everything, and she was asking something from Casey she could not possibly believe she was entitled to knowing, without giving her an out.

Casey froze, her eyes icing over. She stared at Alex for a long moment, who now was sure she had done something horribly wrong, but then Casey’s eyes shifted from blank shock to mildly upset.

“Sorry- yes, I did. It didn't work out that way.”

Alex swallowed, and realized this was a decisive moment. She had relaxed, and she had slipped up, and now Casey was rigid, and if she bounced back off of Casey and tensed, she’d never get what she wanted.

So then, biting back her nature and what she was taught to say in such situations, she said softly, “It didn't for me, either.”

The atmosphere shifted entirely, so much it seemed like the colors had changed spectrum. Alex was now used to how fast her colleague could run through emotions and facades, and although that familiarity was from the courtroom, Casey’s demeanor now changing into something almost like solidarity reminded her a lot of it. Casey dropped her momentary coldness as fast as Alex could put down her form, but unlike when Alex changed the face she wore in order to elicit the response she wanted, Casey seemed like she genuinely just had a change of emotion.

“You're still young, Casey,” Alex continued, encouraged by the attorney’s return to warmth, “it’ll happen.”

“Oh, please. Alex. You’re what- two years older than me?” Casey chided, her voice light. “And you're hot as hell, so I’m sure you have suitors.”

“Casey, have you looked in a mirror recently? If I have suitors, you must have a line from here to the DA’s office.”

“Oh, you charmer.” Casey scoffed, but Alex meant it. She slid her hand underneath the now empty plate, bringing it to the kitchen, before picking up her duffel once more. “And now you get to be my driver.”

“I’m honored,” Alex smoothly joked back, collecting her purse and standing up.

She glanced around Casey’s kitchen, then glanced around the foyer, one last time before she followed the redhead out of her apartment. She noted the shift of atmosphere the second she stepped over the doorstep, and internally found herself hoping it wasn’t the last time she was there.

A more sensible part of her brain reminded her just now that she had decided against pursuing Casey, so such thoughts were not worth lingering on. Another part of her brain indignantly riled that she could enter someone’s apartment without any sort of connotation. A third part of her brain wanted to reexamine the circumstances of the decision to blacklist Casey from the possible companion category, while a third sighed loudly and wished they would all shut up. A fourth part snarled that she was not going to allow herself to be vulnerable with this enigma- yes, despite her niceness and her willingness to provide her with cake she still didn't have any grasp on Casey's psyche, so that's what she was- until she had enough to cover her ass if something went wrong. A fifth part just wanted to see Casey smile at her in the kitchen like that again. The fifth part managed to distract most of the others with daydreams.

Casey understood that Alex was in thoughts, so she did nothing to compel a response, although Alex was sure she thought she was musing about family or law or such.

Nothing was said until they reached the front door of the building, which Casey opened and offered, and then resigned to follow Alex to where she had parked. She gave a low appreciative whistle when she climbed into the front passenger seat tugging her duffel down and into the legroom.

“Fuck. I knew from the outside you had a nice car, but… jesus christ, Alex.”

“What? Oh.” Alex glanced behind her as if only just now registering that. It was a nice car. Her Cadillac had been a birthday present from her uncle, especially because her Bentley was sold off after her death. “I- thank you. Well, only the best for you, right? Now that I’m your cabbie.”

She was rather pleased with the hints of a surprised blush forming on Casey's cheekbones. If Casey kept throwing out random compliments at her, she should return that, right?

“It's just because of my bike-…”

“Please. You’re so quick to dish out the teases until I do so?” Alex hummed, amused, and Casey only huffed in response, pointedly looking forward.

Alex set the softball arena as her navigation’s destination, and allows Casey on aux, the same melodious background sound filling the car speakers as they begin on their way. Being the driver is good. If she was the passenger, she’d be darting her eyes too constantly to look at Casey. Casey apparently does not have this struggle.

“So tell me, honestly,” Alex starts, to fill the silence with a topic she knows Casey will yap over, “between you and Stabler, who has the better swing?”

“Me,” Casey says, with absolutely no question in her voice. “Elliot is good- but he’s too used to his job. In softball, most of the swing is supposed to come from the rotation of the shoulders, not the movement of the arm. Elliot relies so much on the idea of punching he doesn't really get that. He tries to push his palms forward and pushes one shoulder down. Besides, I’ve been playing softball for a much longer time than him.”

“How long?” Alex asked, glancing over at her in the passenger seat. Casey was so forthcoming with information- well, yes, Alex had asked, but…

“Since my sophomore year of high school,” Casey answered, “There was this fight involving one of my little brothers and I- well, that's beside the point. Regardless, the coach took me aside the next day, said he’d never seen someone swing like that, and asked me to try out. I did, and that was that.”

Alex let out an exhale that felt like a soft laugh, so Casey quipped in response, “Have you ever played any sports?”

“Fencing,” Alex offered, “and equestrian, for a little.”

“Equestrian?” Casey perked up, “Wow, that's amazing. I’ve always wanted to try riding a horse.”

“I didn't really enjoy it much-” Alex looked over again, and she realized that was a mistake, because Casey was looking at her with such interest in her eyes that Alex felt as though she needed to run for the hills. “I- I… it just wasn't for me.”

“Why not? If I can ask.”

“My instructors had to scold me constantly for being too stiff,” Alex murmured, trying to make it sound lighthearted despite to some degree admitting the biggest self-struggle she had, “when you're on a horse, the horse has to be an extension of you, the same way when you hold a bat- actually, I’m not entirely sure of that, I’ve never played a ball-sport, but- when the muscles of the horse move, you need to adapt and move with it. Otherwise, the horse becomes vexed.”

“So young Alexandra was just being a vex to horses?” Casey chuckled, and Alex tilted her head at the jest.

“But if you tell anyone, they’d never believe you.”

“Oh trust me,” Casey snorted, “I’m not about to let other people know about baby Alex being a thorn in some training horse’s side. That’s something only I get to know.”

“Hey. You just used the adjective ‘young’, and now ‘baby’- am I regressing? And I was more a pain in their back rather than side, unless I very immensely misunderstood where you're supposed to ride horses.”

In reality, the small thrum in her heart that she now associated with the younger attorney was very pleased with the information Casey apparently felt territorial on information regarding her. She couldn't describe to herself why that made her happy, but it did.

“Sigh. ADAs and their technicalities,” Casey shook her head, “and no, I could never accuse you of regression. You only ascend.”

“Good. Quick study, Casey.” Alex purred, the words a bit too soft and a bit too smooth, although she hadn't really thought about it that way until she saw Casey shift and decided she was very pleased she had said it.

It was Casey’s turn to fall into a blushed silence, her eyes fixing suddenly very straight on the road, as if she had never seen New York City before. Alex felt victorious, and she basked in that feeling.

They arrived at the softball field shortly, and as soon as they pulled over in the dirt parking lot and Casey stepped out of the vehicle with her duffel she was essentially jumped by a collection of random people Alex believed she probably had seen previously in the DA’s office- other ADAs, a couple interns. They surrounded Casey eagerly, spouting game talk- apparently feeding Alex cake had delayed her arrival, and she was the last one, so they had been waiting for it. The copper-headed woman gave her an apologetic wave over the shoulder as she was yanked off, and Alex felt uncomfortable. She tried not to feel as though she had just been shunned. If she had spent less time in her intern years sucking up and networking with her uncle and her uncle’s friends, perhaps she would know some of them. Her career was jump-started, she did not have the bond the others seemed to share of watching each other pull themselves up the ladder- despite knowing logically some of them must have also come from nepotism, at least to some degree.

The softball field was fenced in by wired mesh, and ‘softball field’ was really the only way she could describe it, because it was nothing else. There were a couple of bleachers that reminded her of a cheap high school movie- her school had definitely never had anything like that- but otherwise, it was just a meshed-in square in the middle of a flat field, with a large brick box-like building on the side. She spotted Munch already seated on said bleacher, though, and although she didn't know him as well as she knew Olivia, who her mind had been looking for initially, she wandered over.

“Hey,” he greeted her on arrival, motioning to the place next to him, which she tentatively sat down on after her eyes skimmed it to ensure there wasn't a layer of filth (there was, but she ignored it) “Liv's trying to hype up Elliot. He really wants to get Casey back for the last match.”

“What happened in the last match?” Alex muttered, not especially interested but aware she was required to continue the conversation, inspecting the floor of the bleachers for a place to put her purse. She decided directly beneath her was probably the cleanest.

“She- well, nothing exactly. She’s just ridiculously good. Not many of the DA team have her skill, but so long as she’s there she continuously wipes the floor with ‘em. MVP, easy.”

Munch turns to her, almost accusingly. “Oh, you're rooting for that team, aren't you?”

Alex considered that for a moment, then, “I’m rooting for Casey.”

“But, team-wise, you're on our side?”

“I’m just rooting for Casey.”

Well, we had the whole gay talk in the squad room earlier, so-”

“Careful,” Alex chided, cutting him off with a harsh look in her marble blue eyes, “your boyfriend is here.”

Munch looked over with confusion, then saw Tutuola walking towards them, and shot Alex back a glare through his dark glasses. As if on cue, Olivia materialized and plopped herself down next to Alex, handing her a flask and wiping her mouth with the back of her palm indicative of the fact she had just taken a swallow. “El has been given the best pep talk I physically know how to give. If he doesn't win, I’m done showing up to these.”

“Alex is rooting for the enemy while drinking our alcohol,” John fired, but Alex turned to him and, apparently intimidated, he visibly backed off. Olivia just laughed.

Alex took a swig from Olivia’s flask, grimacing at the feeling of vodka burning down her throat, but she took a second swig almost immediately. She already felt uncomfortable, skin prickling and writhing, and being drunk would make it better.

The game began with little issue, and Casey had meant it when she said it wasn't a real tournament so much so as a large group of very competitive friends being cheered on by a large group of friendly drinkers.

She was bored until Casey took the batter’s stand. Alex had absolutely no clue how softball was played, but Casey looked perfect.

It was probably the alcohol talking. Between her and Olivia, they had made quick work of the flask, Liv because she had started to become anxious on Stabler’s behalf, and Alex because she was double-thinking her decision to show up. But if she hadn't shown up, she never would've gone to Casey’s, she never would've gotten that cake and she never would've seen the younger woman's reaction to being told she was good.

And God, Casey was good. Alex watched her sprint, the way she swung so relaxed but so intentionally, completely in her element. It was dark other than the stadium lights, which definitely were not up to standard, but when Alex caught a glimpse of Casey's eyes she could see very clearly the glint of fierce determination.

John Munch had been very correct that the DA’s team- Casey’s teammates, were not comparable to the copper-blonde’s skill. But to that matter, neither were most of the detectives. Alex noted the reality in the way that Stabler swung as if he was trying to hook something instead of swinging a bat- Casey was right- but he still did fairly well.

Not well enough to keep up with Casey.

Every time she hit the ball with a heavy ‘thwack’ that reverberated in Alex’s spine, every time she started darting, long legs stretching out to slide the last meter, the furrow in her brow, the light reflecting off her hair. Alex felt positively dizzy. That last part could very well be from Olivia’s vodka- or so she reminded herself.

She had tied her hair into a bun- Alex mused to herself it was unnecessary for her to have straightened it, then- but it bounced as she walked up to take- no, own the stand. Her lips were pressed into that thin line she made when she was concentrating in the courtroom and was similarly undeniably attractive here, except the corners of her mouth tugged up in a fierce smile. Her movements were fluid and Alex decided that if she would've done well in equestrian, with the way she moved- her intensity was elegant, her movements as refined as a swimmer’s. Alex felt her chest tighten and her heart pounding as she watched, feeling almost greedy for more sight of Casey.

Other than her, she was displeased with essentially everything else. The people next to her were becoming progressively more drunk and more rowdy, cheering and applauding and calling out encouragement or jests to active players, who would yell incoherently back at them. The bleachers had grit stuck in the groves in the aluminum and she mused to herself she’d need to get the pants she was wearing cleaned.

The game simultaneously lasted fucking forever and was much faster than Alex thought it would be. Casey's team won, so Alex had to deal with Olivia huffing and chastising the DA’s team next to her and John giving her a very pointed look, competitive in the way of the observer, that she returned coldly.

Casey didn't come around until the detectives were almost ready to go. Stabler had returned, clenching his jaw after trying to convince a couple people to do some more practice runs with him, and Olivia bolted to her feet to sympathetically pat him on the shoulder. Alex, after a fraction of a second, rose too, and followed. “I don't get how she does that,” He kept grumbling, and Alex had to agree- but her opinion of that was different.

Alex watched out of the corner of her eye as Casey bounced around- literally bounced around, some of the younger interns were literally jumping with the adrenaline and Casey was mimicking it for their benefit- and they hugged each other tight around the shoulders, fluid motions and hearty laughs, until their noses and cheeks were tinted pink with breathlessness. Casey was here celebrating a win- a double win, now- but apparently, some other girl on the team had just lost a major suit according to someone Alex had overheard on the bleachers and the DA’s team was clearly playing on the enthusiasm and adrenaline to cheer her up. Alex watched as Casey grabbed the other lawyer in a tight hug, then pressed a kiss to her cheek, and her stomach fluttered and she looked away very quickly. She hoped no one noticed.

She looked back in time, though, to see Casey shaking the woman off her arm, and that settled the unease in her bones quickly. The other woman held her hand for as long as possible, looking at her with eyes akin to a lost puppy, but Casey only flashed her a bright smile and kept walking, letting her arm fall loosely over to her side as she walked away. She quickened her pace of exit when she saw Alex looking in her direction, jogging over.

“So, Alex?”

“So yourself. You were fantastic.” Alex chimed, and even though Casey was sweaty and was coated in dirt from the floor of the field she extended an arm to give her a half-hug and Casey took it, resting her head on Alex’s shoulder for a moment before letting go.

The others in the group shared similar observations, albeit half-heartedly, while Casey just grinned apologetically at Stabler who stood staring at her blankly. After a moment, the two exchanged a very informal fist bump, and tension eased from Elliot’s broad shoulders.

They chatter about the game for a while, recounting moments of note or teammates that were new or actions that were game-changing, until it was randomly noticed they were the last ones outside, the other legal system workers apparently having moved on to their own after-party that Alex noted Casey apparently had turned down and the other detectives had sullenly collected belongings and dipped.

“So, McMullen’s?” Stabler muttered, “I could use a beer after all this.”

“That's the one all the way near the precinct,” Munch argued, but Alex interjected with, “Let's do it.” That place was familiar- she had grown accustomed to it, and selfishly it was also very close to her apartment. John was left alone in his argument and they all nodded, separating towards cars with the knowledge they’d meet up shortly.

“You may have to drive,” Alex murmured, “I’m above the legal limit. That okay?”

“I get to drive your fancy-ass car? Hell yeah!” Casey cheered, “That's a reward on its own. Come with me, though, I have to grab my things.”

There was a small building off to the side, big enough to serve its only purpose as being a locker room. There were two doors and no windows, effectively a brick block that had no aesthetical component at all, and the lights flickered on as Casey went into one of the doors and hit the light. It kept flickering, though.

Alex stood in the doorway for a second, wrinkling her nose at the smell of very heavy spray deodorant and sweat, but Casey was talking to her, so it felt rude to let the door close separating the two, and after a second Alex stepped in behind her and tugged the metal door closed behind her.

“Did you mean it, though? That in the fourth inning I-”

“Yes, Casey,” Alex interrupted her, “you played very well. I don't say things I don't genuinely stand behind.”

It was rather endearing that Casey wanted her verbal approval, despite the fact Alex was completely aware Casey knew she had played well. She had been getting a stream of compliments and attention from her peers. It made Alex salivate that Casey had chosen to ditch the girl who had reminded her of a dog to talk to her instead. Maybe that was the alcohol talking. Maybe she should keep reminding herself that it was the alcohol talking.

“Hold on- look away, I’m going to change really quickly, and then we can get going.”

Alex felt her cheeks grow warm but she obediently turned on her heel to face the metal door, hearing the tug of a zipper as Casey stripped off her pants, then the rustling of fabric as her shirt came off, and Alex ground her teeth against each other trying not to imagine what was directly behind her. Casey sighed deeply, and Alex bit into her cheek.

She stayed like that, staring bolts of lightning into the door, until she felt Casey tap her shoulder, relinquishing her of the obligation. “Alright. Car keys, counselor?”

Alex pawed them over from her pocket wordlessly and Casey offered her a confused smile but did not press the issue, letting herself out of the locker room and heading towards the car.

She had changed into a white polo shirt, the top two buttons missing to dip and show her distinct collarbones, the cut of the sleeves emphasizing the subtle but firm muscles of her forearms. Beneath it, she carried dark jeans with a leather belt. She hadn't removed her hair from the bun, even though several strands of hair had fallen out near the front, and Alex tried to fixate on the shape of said bun on the back of her head while following her towards her own car.

Her internal monologue was failing to come up with reasons why she shouldn't be allowed to touch Casey's shoulders just a little bit. She could see the groves of muscle through the polo shirt- a little bit, right? Just a little bit?

Alex turned the music up in the car when Casey put it back on so she wouldn't need to make shaky conversation, and Casey seemed content enough with that. The duffel bag had been discarded in the back, Alex now in the passenger with Casey in the driver.

“You seem happy,” Casey commented finally during a lapse in the music- a long outro, or a long intro- and Alex just smiled slyly back at her. She was.

The bar was wonderfully familiar. Alex followed Casey to the booth in the back, the one their group always frequented, and the others were already there, looking up from menus no one really needed because they'd been there so many times everyone already had a signature.

Alex ended in between Olivia and Casey, the brunette on her left towards the wall, and Casey in the gap between her and the end of the couch. Casey struggled slightly- the booth wasn't large enough to accommodate a group of six people, but Alex was more than happy that it forced Casey to try to curve into her side. She didn't move over, didn't try to shove herself against Olivia to make more room for the redhead. With one leg crossed over the other and her shoulder firmly on Alex's, though, Casey made due.

They chirp orders to a bartender who wanders over, Alex graciously agreeing to carry this first round as she had earlier mentioned. Stabler ordered a beer more expensive than the type he normally drank, and Casey shot him a pointed look. He looked mildly apologetic, and Casey rolled her eyes.

John and Fin quickly began chattering about things below Alex’s pay grade, so she turned her attention towards Olivia and Elliot, who were discussing an upcoming event at Stabler’s children’s high school- a fundraiser, or some other such thing- and Casey listened eagerly. Alex stayed mostly quiet, unaware of how to participate in a conversation about public schools and children.

Besides, she had a much larger problem to attend to.

Casey's arm had snuck around her waist and was currently resting on the slight ridge of her hip.

Logically, she could reason that it was because she was intentionally making it more difficult for Casey to sit comfortably, the younger attorney still awkwardly very close to the edge of the faux-leather booth, but still. Her thumb was resting directly on the iliac crest, and if Alex paid close attention it was almost as if Casey was moving it, the rest of her fingers snaking just below it, grasping at the fabric of Alex’s pants. Maybe this was her punishment for enjoying forcing Casey to wriggle and balance on the very end of the seat.

She opened her mouth to join the conversation, but Casey, as though experimenting, ran her thumb in a line across the jut of her hip bone and Alex stiffened on impulse. As soon as Casey felt her spine tense like that, she hastily let go. Alex wished she could ask her to leave her hand there, though.

Why are you thinking like that, she internally chastised herself, Alex, you don't- you said you wouldn't try to do anything with… but she’s pursuing you, now, isn't she?

“Yes, Alex?” Olivia asked with a note of confusion, and she realized she had made to speak and then lost herself in thought. She didn't really remember what she was going to say, though. Her jaw was still open, but she just snapped it shut and shook her head quickly with a ‘never mind’.

Casey's hand did not return for the rest of the hour or so spent chatting at the bar, despite Alex’s struggling attempts at manifesting. She was uncomfortable, now, not because of Casey, but because of Casey's absence. She was pressed so close to her side but somehow it felt as though Alex had messed up, prematurely rejected her, and that something would shift in the dynamic now. The itch and ache behind her skin got progressively worse as she tried to mask her anxiety behind the mask, when really all she wanted to do was talk to Casey. The copper-headed woman’s conversations always included either Olivia or Stabler or Munch, though, and there was never a moment in which Alex could separate her off to start a banter or a hushed conversation between the two of them alone. So, mostly, Alex just sat there, watching her coworkers indulge in the moment while feeling isolated and cold. Her spine was not able to relax after Casey’s hand had left.

She started to feel sick with the rigidness of her body. She wanted to peel it off.

“You seem distracted,” Casey murmured lightly, her breath warm over the side of Alex’s face, her mouth precariously close as she leaned her face towards the side of Alex’s jaw, speaking into her ear. Alex hadn't even realized she had moved.

She steeled her eyes and turned to stare at Casey coldly, almost as if trying to scare her off, a habit she regretted the second she realized what she was doing- I won't let you get this close, I'm warning you- it said, but Casey simultaneously picked up on it, picked up on her regret, and simply grinned at her. She seemed pleased, even, that she was eliciting a response. Alex fumed inside of her mind at the amount of control the redhead had attained over her in the span of a night that wasn't even over yet.

“I’m fine.” Alex said in a hushed whisper, “Just- just drunk.”

Casey provided a low hum in the back of her throat, placing her jaw on Alex’s shoulder, blinking up at her through slightly narrowed eyes.

“Aren't you, Casey?”

“I assumed I’d be driving. I had a beer, but that was around an hour ago, now.”

“Oh.” Alex shifted, her face heating up slightly, “You're taking me home?”

“Do you not want me to do that?”

“I- but, how would you get home from mine? I don't- I can't really give you my car-”

“I can walk from yours,” Casey responded easily, to which Alex shook her head quickly.

“God, Casey, I’m not letting you walk home alone in the middle of the night, just-”

“Are you two planning on leaving soon?” Olivia interrupted loudly, who had drunk a bit more than both of them and seemed irritated in the way drunk people were. “I cannot wait to get away from this guy here,” the brunette sighed, jabbing a thumb at Stabler, who stared at her incredulously. Like Casey, he had also refrained from drinking so he could drop Olivia and John off.

“Olivia, I’m driving you home, and I stand by what I said.”

“But that doesn't even make sense!” She scolded him, “Why is the plural of mouse mice and the plural of goose geese and the plural form of moose still moose? Who the hell has ever said ‘Oh yes, what a lovely pack of moose there in the distance’-”

“Liv, I didn't say it didn't make sense, I just said it wasn't relevant-”

“Excuse you. This is very relevant to my day-to-day life.”

They blinked at each other for a long, slow moment, and Alex decided she did in fact need to get away from them. But, as she reached for her purse to drop what she owed, shame bloomed suddenly in her heart. Fuck.

She groaned quietly, her index extending automatically to rub the base of her glabella, tilting her head backward and squeezing her eyes shut with frustration and also an unwillingness to share what she definitely needed to.

Her discontent at her mistake triggered something else in her stomach, and she felt the familiar sensation of everything inside of her moving uncomfortably, skin aching and turning. She felt like she was about to be scolded by her father- or worse, her uncle- for lacking composure, for forgetting to keep track of every minor detail and interaction held.

It was important to be on top of everything constantly- no, it was necessary. She needed to. It was drilled into her as much as her skin was part of her anatomy, and regardless of how stressed it made her, she needed it compulsively.

She wanted to be someone else, and now she'd have to pay the price for it.

“Alex?” Casey’s voice sounded mildly concerned, and Alex tried her best to hide the embarrassment in her voice when she turned to the redhead and conspiratorially muttered, “I forgot my purse.”

She knew exactly where it was- well, unless it had been stolen since then, but she knew where she had left it. Putting it directly beneath her on the aluminum bleachers of the softball field had not been a wise choice given the principle of ‘out of sight, out of mind' and her lusting after Casey and Casey’s ridiculously attractive shoulders had not helped to remind her to grab it before they left.

Luckily she always kept three hundred dollar bills in her phone case in case of an emergency, so she popped it open and removed one to cover the table, waving off the others who tried to offer her change and similarly dismissing people offering to cover her drinks the next time the group joined at a bar.

“Well, we’ll just go back for it, then.” Casey replied smoothly, and Alex thanked the heavens Casey had not taken this as an opportunity to try to tease her, because Alex genuinely would've gotten mad if she had.

“But that's- that's half an hour each way,” Alex sighed, “and I’ve had too much to drive, but I don't want to ask you too-”

“Extra time with you? I can't complain. Come, now.” Casey grinned, swiping at her shoulder gently the way she had with Elliot earlier, and Alex couldn't help but crack a weak smile and follow her and she made her way out of the bar, waving goodbyes to the others.

“I meant it, though,” Casey starts once they're outside of the building, “you did seem distant back there. Is everything… alright?”

“I-” Alex started without meaning to, clamping her jaw shut and watching Casey unlock her car so they could both climb in, Casey placing the duffel in the back again as prior.

She watched the younger attorney raise an eyebrow inquisitively, which she responded to with a loose sigh.

“Nothing.” She said blankly, and listened as Casey echoed her sigh.

Alex could see the gears churning in Casey's head as they both clambered into Alex’s Cadillac, Casey’s eyes roving over the interior with awe once more. The copper-headed woman wasn't verbally pushing her to explain her issue but Alex wasn't stupid enough to think Casey would let it drop. She briefly worried that Casey thought it was her fault, but if she did, maybe she wouldn't provoke an explanation, and Alex was okay with that. She didn't feel like she wanted to verbalize this discomfort with Casey.

This car drive was again quiet, but not because Alex was in a state of drunken content, but rather because Alex was fighting personal demons and Casey was trying very hard to run through every possible list of what could've upset the older attorney.

“It was just one of my mulberry set, so it doesn't matter that much if it's actually missing or if someone stole it.” Alex said finally, to fill the void of silence.

Casey squinted at her, trying to figure out if that was sarcasm, but it didn't seem to be.

“I’m not going to grant that a response,” she said finally. “You rich kids are something else.”

Alex thinned her lips into a straight line but didn't respond. Casey was right, of course, they had very different upbringings. That's why Casey's skin suited her body, and Alex’s was constantly irritating her.

Neither attorney tried to fill the void of silence after that, not even with music, Alex staring blankly out of the side window while Casey focused on the dark road in front of her. Alex had moved on from her demons to anxiously smoothing her thumb in little patterns on her wrist, very uncomfortable without a distinct reason. This wasn't really about the purse, to put it plainly.

After what felt like an eternity, Casey pulled over, and Alex stumbled out of the car. The place was utterly devoid of people, although the lights were still on for some reason, and it wasn't hard to spot the dot of her bag in the distance even with her glasses. There was a light behind the bleachers that illuminated the spaces between plates of metal and she could make out a shape that blocked out the light exactly where she had been sitting. Without checking to see if Casey was following, she set out, wincing at the feeling of gravel and damp dirt beneath her shoes.

She had picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder before she registered Casey’s presence again, behind her, and the attorney's voice was soft as she spoke.

“Put it back down, Alex, play ball with me.”

Alex froze.

“What?”

“Play ball with me,” Casey echoed, and when Alex turned around the copperhead was simply tossing the softball up and down in one hand without even looking at it. Casey’s eyes were instead fixated intently on her.

Alex shrugged her purse strap tighter to her side as if it were a life raft of sorts. “I don't play sports, Casey-” she tried, but Casey just shook her head slightly, the bun that had slowly been coming out over the duration of the evening bouncing along with the rotation of her head.

“Just catch it,” Casey soothed, “and if you really hate it we’ll go back to the car. Put your purse down- come off the bleachers, come over here.”

It was hard to disobey when Casey sounded so direct, so after a moment of hesitation and a minor internal thrashing Alex set her bag down once more and stepped off the bleachers, onto the grass where Casey was. She knew her face must be exerting a twisted, concerned expression, but although Casey’s eyes were soft they were also immensely firm. Determined.

“I don't know… how to catch a ball.” Alex said lamely, holding her hands out stiffly in front of her. She was rewarded for her confession with Casey’s chuckle.

“Don't think about it,” Casey said, “just focus on me. You’ll catch it.”

The redhead paused her casual toss-catch rhythm, cupping the ball in her palm and letting her arm hang down by her side. She smiled reassuringly at Alex, who hadn't felt nervous like this since grade school.

“You've been doing fine focusing on me tonight,” Casey teased, after Alex hadn't answered, and Alex flushed, “so- should be doable. Ready?”

Alex wanted to curl into a ball and hide, honestly, so no, she wasn't ready. Straight spine, stiff shoulders, her head feeling like it was propped up on a pedestal rather than a neck. Her hands still were held loosely in front of her, as though someone was passing her a wine glass to nurse rather than a ball to catch, and her feet were right beside each other in the ‘natural’ resting position for her- which had been very unnaturally taught, and then forced, until young Alex did not automatically stand any other way. Casey’s brow quirked as if this was amusing to her.

The blonde’s brow furrowed in anxious concentration, and she took a quick breath, trying to focus on Casey as the redhead had so advised. And despite her teasing tone, she had been right, it was easy for Alex to focus on her.

It was really dark out, now, so Alex could only see the parts of Casey that were illuminated by the overhead beam, but it was angled in a way that she could still see most of her. Casey’s eyes were teasing but attentive, and her posture was entirely relaxed. She didn't look like she had when she was actually playing, which relieved Alex immensely.

When Casey had been playing, she had seemed athletic and agile, with muscles that rippled under her skin the way that a leopard’s might as it pounced. Now, more similarly to her courtroom appearances, her arms had relaxed back into how they normally appeared- although they always looked wonderfully lean- only slightly more built than the average woman’s. Her fingers were lithe as they wrapped around the softball she held, a degree of comfort interacting with the object that read easily as years of experience. Alex tried not to note the details of how the white polo shirt clung and accentuated her bust, or the curve of her waist. Casey’s stance- leaning slightly, more weight on one leg than the other casually, did not help Alex scrape her eyes off of her figure. She felt herself relax, slightly, drawn in by the details of the other woman’s form. She supposed it was easy to stop paying so much attention to herself and everything that was right or wrong in herself and her posture when she was given permission to study someone as- well, frankly, hot- as Casey.

“I’m ready,” Alex said after a long pause, running her tongue over her dry bottom lip to ease the nerves. She wasn't sure what prompted her to say it.

Casey eased her arm in a low arc, passing it once, then twice, the arc getting larger each time, before curling her fingers around the ball as she let it go in a firm underhand toss. Trained as she was, it flew in a bow formation, slow and controlled as it made its way directly towards Alex, who caught it instinctively, trapping it between her two palms.

She looked up at Casey with eyes as concerned as if she was carrying a grenade, and Casey laughed, her hands on her knees, evidently pleased.

“Good! Go on, throw it back to me.”

Alex’s nose scrunched up with focus as she tried to recreate the same motion Casey had done, her limbs feeling weird and disjointed, stiff and loose, unlike the fluid motion Casey had produced. But regardless, she threw it.

Casey catching it was entirely due to the redhead’s own ability, because unlike when Alex had caught it due to Casey’s precise aim, Alex had no clue how to direct the ball properly, and it fell short by about a meter, which was anticipated the second the ball left her hand by Casey who scrambled to get it, achieving the fear with only a mild degree of difficulty.

“You did it!” She cheered, bouncing with excitement the way she had when she had won the softball match hours prior, and Alex couldn't help but acknowledge her enthusiasm as very infectious. A small, genuine yet shy smile played on her lips and Casey darted backward again, taking her stance to throw it once more, which Alex did not move to protest.

Unlike last time, when Alex had caught it very close to her chest, the blonde with some degree of determination reached her arms slightly higher, managing to catch it while it was still in the air above her. She still used both hands, but it was a stark degree of progress.

Alex's face split open into a grin of genuine emotion, now, a smile that awkwardly expressed the strange pride she felt at managing the relatively very simple task, and without hesitation she threw it back to Casey, using enough force this time- correcting her precious mistake- so the ball was easily once again resting in Casey's hand.

“Look at you go,” Casey beamed, the corners of her eyes angling with the intensity of the smile she flashed Alex with, “now, this one’s harder, okay?”

This time, Casey threw it overhead, albeit still much gentler than she normally would. Her previous throws were meant to land directly at Alex’s stand, but this one aimed for a foot or so behind her. The blonde, however, had seemingly gained enough understanding of the ball’s arch to realize, hastily taking a few steps backward to once again encase it.

Alex mused to herself that she felt as though she was getting the hang of this, so she returned the ball once more, still using underhand, watching as Casey bounced backward twice to give them more distance. She threw it, and Alex realized it was flying too far to the side, and she scrambled in that direction, bending down strangely but managing to catch the softball before it hit the floor.

She looked up with a very sheepish expression, but was rewarded with the sight of Casey smiling as if it were Christmas morning, and she relaxed, standing up. Casey had apparently taken a few more long strides backwards, away from her.

“I can't throw that far, come closer.” She called, but Casey shook her head.

“You can make it to me- try out throwing overhead.” Casey urged, “And if it falls short, I’ll run and get it anyway.”

Alex stood, awkwardly still for a long second, staring at Casey, who just kept her bright smile. After a second, she glanced at the ball in her hand, and, mimicking Casey’s movement once again, extended one arm behind her slightly, rotating her torso, and then shot it forward, leaning forward into her swing.

Although she stumbled, looking up prematurely to see if the throw would arc the way she had wanted it to, it did fly almost all the way to the other attorney, who easily lifted a singular hand to catch it in her palm.

This time, Casey did not wait for Alex to recompose before swinging- and she did it differently, this time, lifting a leg to fire the ball at her the way she had during softball except with a bit less force. Enough force, though, that although Alex again scrambled for it, the softball flew too far to the side and the blonde woman ended up on her knees in the shortly clipped grass. She turned her head to stare indignantly at her companion, who just poked the tip of her tongue out of her mouth nonchalantly and motioned for Alex to go fetch.

She would never do anything so.. unpretentious. However, with Casey patiently grinning at her, Alex sighed, standing, brushing off her knees quickly, and then briskly pacing to retrieve the ball, which had landed only a few meters to her side.

“Are we done, counselor?” Novak called from her place a ways away, and Alex raised her eyebrow at the other woman incredulously.

“After that?” She scoffed, and threw the ball again more forcefully, purposely not really aiming at Casey who thus had to hasten towards it, reading its path but still needing to scurry multiple meters, catching it but only just barely. Alex refused to note how elegant the motion was, despite how awkward it really should've seemed.

Alex did not have the time to further study Casey’s elegance because the redhead was already firing back at her, one leg raised high at the knee as prior, and that only really made her understand how attractive Casey’s legs were- her undivided attention to the attorney’s arms had made her miss out on something else equally appealing.

This time Casey was gracious enough to aim at her once more, and Alex caught it, each grab easier than the previous.

They repeated this exchange, Casey’s throws were much smoother and intentional, except she kept occasionally throwing slightly higher or lower or to either side to force Alex to move herself. Alex occasionally missed her grab or not being able to close the distance in time, which only fueled her play intensity when she returned the ball. Alex’s throws were mostly loose, but for the most part, they went far enough, and Casey was more than happy to scramble for them, ending up on her knees multiple times but never failing to catch it firmly.

Casey had started laughing, at some point, delighted to be playing no matter how bad her play partner was, and Alex hadn't even realized when her grin became permanent and her exhales started to sound like breathless giggles.

Eventually, Alex’s breathing started coming faster, and there was a thrum in her heart unrelated to Casey, and said woman realized the blonde was starting to get tired. She stopped the back and forth once the ball returned to her palm, choosing instead to jog over.

“Let's try something- hold this.” She murmured, tossing the ball into the air, which Alex now easily and casually managed to snag.

She reached over and adjusted Alex’s position, smooth hands gliding to shape the rotation of the older woman’s shoulders, lightly pressing to move her hips, gliding across her arms to rearrange the assortment of limbs.

She then turned to stand beside her, mirroring the posture she had just moved Alex into, looking at her with a sly grin. “Now, when you throw, I want you to curve like this-” she demonstrated, her motions causing the fabric to ruffle, her shirt rising up slightly at the hem to tease Alex with a thin strip of the woman’s abdomen, “and raise your leg like this, and then,-” she made a hushed whooshing sound, a cartoonist version of a ball being thrown.

Alex nodded obediently, starting to prepare herself before Casey shook her head quickly. “Give me a headstart- I go on two, and you go on zero. Okay?”

The blonde was now mildly confused on what Casey was attempting, but regardless nodded, frozen in the position Casey had sculpted.

“Five, four, three..” Casey counted down, slowly creeping her body down into a low lunge, “two-!” she bolted forward, and then Alex understood, mentally counting down the last two numbers before flinging the ball as hard as she physically was able to.

She was then content to straighten out, catching her breath, while watching Casey sprint after it. Her strides were so long and so light Alex wasn't sure she was even really touching the ground. With the movement, her ever-loosening bun snapped open, and auburn hair flowed as if cascading behind her, and Alex's breath caught still in her lungs.

Even though the ball did manage to outfly her sprint, she was damn near close when she dove for it, sliding on one knee to retrieve it, skidding to a halt a little ways away from where she had initially landed. She jumped up, shook herself off, and then jogged back, a breathless grin on her face.

“I thought I had it,” she panted, “I’ve always wanted to try doing that.”

The copper-headed woman proceeded to flop down on the grass, rolling so she was lying on her back looking up at Alex who was still breathing with a little more labor than she’d like to admit from their previous shenanigans. After a second, Alex carefully sat down next to her, near but not close enough to be on her loose hair by accident.

“You were very close,” Alex agreed, eyes never leaving Casey’s enthusiastic ones. “I didn't know people could be that fast.”

After a brief second, she reached out and rested her hand on the front of Casey’s shoulder, who blinked up at her. It was a reassurance that Alex’s earlier silence wasn't her fault, Alex tried to convey, that Casey had done nothing wrong and everything right.

Casey sat up to look at Alex more directly, but she raised a hand to keep Alex’s fingers resting on the flat of her chest and an inch below her collarbone. Her face was close to Alex’s leaning forward so boldly Alex almost thought to lean back.

“You look good like this,” She cooed so lightly it was almost smug, almost victorious, “you’re normally so rigid, so overtly mannered.”

It was then that Alex realized she had not registered anything of herself outside of trying to figure out how to position her arm to throw better for the past while.

Nothing had seemed to exist outside of Casey laughing gleefully across the field, bouncing from one foot to the other while waiting for her to launch her softball back to her- as much as Alex could launch it- and as soon as the ball had left her hands, the only thing she thought of was the sight of Casey running to snatch it midair, her hand itching to feel the leather again so she could try again, see if she could throw it farther, and more forcefully.

See if she could make Casey laugh harder, the giddy sound almost echoing in the night, filling the void and almost creepy vacant softball field with audio so genuine it made Alex’s heart flutter. See if she could elicit another called praise, or another witty comment from the woman she had been eyeing so intently.

Her limbs and joints felt loose but connected, blood racing through her veins happily as if finally allowed to dart around her body, resurfacing energy and releasing dopamine in a way she hadn't felt in what must now be years. Her bones felt as light as a bird’s, and her skin was so enthusiastic at the play it nestled onto her body like a puzzle piece that finally clicked into place, and even now that she was finished, it felt like her own. For once, Alex had earned the right to feel comfortable in her own skin.

She hadn't cared to ponder what she must look like, in a blouse layered by a sweater in a field with her glasses, tripping over herself to try to play ball with a woman who could pass as a semi-professional athlete. Her chest must be heaving in an effort to catch her breath, her lungs entirely unused to anything more strenuous than stairs, her legs long but her ability to use them only equivalent to a fawn’s. But whenever she had caught Casey's playful eyes, they looked at her like her stumbling self was a million bucks, and that was enough for her.

This was enough for her. Her goal for the night had been realized in full.

“What are you thinking about, counselor?” Casey breathed, and Alex realized she had leaned even closer, dark green eyes searching her’s as if she could read words in Alex’s pupils.

Alex almost thought she was assuming something until she caught the microaction of Casey’s eyes darting to her lips, before glancing up a fraction of a second later with a hint of shyness in her expression- something Alex had never seen, but certainly wasn't complaining about- and Alex was more than happy to indulge her, seeing as how Casey had spent the last hour trying to ensure Alex could ease some of the rigidness from her soul.

She left the hand Casey had touched on her collar, but brought her other hand up to cradle the back of the redhead’s skull, closing the small gap between their faces, and pressing her lips gently against the other woman’s.

Casey let out a small, whimpered sound, and Alex tried to let her go, only to be tugged back with ferocious intensity.

The younger woman pushed her into a more structured sitting position, one leg swinging over Alex’s lap to straddle her hips, Casey’s hands cupping the sides of Alex’s neck, one thumb on her jaw. Her lips were so soft, but so exhilarating, Alex felt as though she could melt, Casey pulling them apart every couple seconds just to come back closer a second later. Due to the nature of their position, Alex had to crane her neck to angle her face up at her, the column of her throat exposed, and Casey was clearly thrilled, her hands exploring her jaw and below it, soft touches that felt rather greedy.

Alex was finally able to take what she had been fantasizing about- when Casey pulled them apart for a second, panting for breath much harsher than she ever had while exercising, she untangled her hand from the auburn locks she had grasped and ran her hand instead down Casey’s shoulder blade, reveling in the feeling of the soft muscles and the small noise Casey made when she did so, catching the woman’s mouth once more to swallow the sounds she made as her hands both moved to smooth over Casey’s biceps, her triceps, her forearms, and then back up again.

“Alex,” Casey breathed into her mouth, before Alex shifted, pressing her back into her lips, to which Casey had no protest. The copper-headed woman’s hands stopped so much exploring as they did holding for support, and Alex mused to herself- the first coherent thought to break through the haze of bliss she had found herself in- that Casey must have thought she’d be the one to have the other squirming. The thought amused her, and only compelled her to continue feeling her up.

“Alex-,” Casey was whining now, Alex’s hand slipping behind her lithe figure to her shoulder blades again, running her fingers down savoringly before turning her attention to her ribs, using her thumbs to brush against her breast only slightly before moving down her to waist, utterly enraptured.

Alex bucked her hips, startling Casey as the blonde pushed her off entirely, and then kept pushing, rolling them over until Casey was flat on her back, and Alex was over her, her knees buried hard into the dirt to keep her above in a way that would've made her quite upset at the grass stains they’d be sporting later had she not been so enchanted by the feeling of Casey moving, Casey’s muscles bunching and twitching as she moved against her.

“Oh,” Casey gasped, and Alex paused, raising her hands to either side of Casey’s head so she could smile down at the woman whose cheeks were so red they almost matched her hair.

Her blonde hair fell to frame Casey’s face, who breathlessly tried to push it out of the way so she could see the triumphant gleam in Alex’s eyes, and then Casey propped herself up on her elbows to land a soft kiss on Alex’s grinning lips.

The normally overtly composed woman broke into a giddy laugh, sitting up, before rolling to the side so she could lay next to Casey in the dark grass. Casey snorted lightly at the sound of it, rolling to the side so she could study Alex’s gorgeous side profile as the woman looked up to the dark night sky above them.

“I guess this solves the issue of us going to separate apartments with only one car,” Casey breathed, and that just made Alex laugh harder, lulling her head to the side to meet Casey’s eyes and see her quiet smile.

All of Alex’s strings had been cut. Right now, she felt anything but stiff. Anything but rigid.

[claires-audience]

Guys we really need to start paying more attention to law and order OC as well because its Elliot’s show and it allows us to see his side of the story so there are a few instances where Olivia makes an appearance and he asked her once “what is this” and replied “a friendship”. Another time he asks her about her relationship while he was gone and she replies “ seriously?!”. In OC he takes his chances to ask her around whenever he can but in SVU thats not so much the case because it’s Olivia’s show and we wont know how she feels unless she voices it out.

[cissyenthusiast010155]

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv & Amanda)

Summary— Alex is kidnapped and tortured. That’s pretty much it. It’s a very long and indulgent fic of Alex x Reader.

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: [MATURE], explicit torture, violence, kidnapping, humiliation, implied torture, angst, anxiety attacks, knife, guns, torture devices, branding, cigarette burns, burning, begging, crying, and so much more mature content, Rita being an aunt and a boss bitch, Liz losing her shit, Munch being munch, Amaro being an asshat, Casey barely keeping it together, read at your own risk!!

Enjoy (;

You stepped into the SVU squad room, looking around at the major bustling and chaos of the room. You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously, biting your lips and nails as well. You were frozen. You couldn’t process it all. Your eyes then landed on a person who you knew could help.

Casey.

Casey had been the one to call you. She hadn’t told you much, only that you need to come to svu immediately. You had dropped work for this. Left straightaway. It all made you extremely anxious. Why would they need you…? Unless…

You shook the terrible thoughts coming up out of your mind, instead springing into action. You walked up to Casey in the middle of the chaos.

“Hey Case!” You called to the redhead who was swiftly fluttering through pages.

Casey jumped at her name and her eyes shot up to you. Suddenly her gaze softened and she looked at you with concern.

“Y/N’s here!!” Casey shot across the room, and everyone practically stopped in their tracks and looked at you.

You gulped and looked around anxiously, pulling your bag closer to you defensively.

“Case… what’s going on…?” You stammered.

Casey couldn’t meet your gaze. Olivia suddenly came out of the Captain’s office and walked through the squad room, followed by Cragen peeking out of his office, telling everyone to get back to work. The shuffling and bustling immediately picked back up again. The noise wasn’t helping you one bit.

You suddenly felt a hand on your back shoulder, and you jumped slightly. You turned around, relaxing a bit to see it was only Olivia with a warm and caring smile.

“Y/N, let’s go into Cragen’s office, yeah…?” The brunette gently suggested.

After you slowly nodded with parted lips of confusion, Olivia led you by her hand on your back to the Captain’s office. She opened the door for you and closed it behind the two of you. Both SVU members looked tense and concerned.

“What exactly… is going on…?” You tensed out through partially gritted teeth, frustration now hitting you in waves.

Olivia guided you to sit down with her, before she but her lip and explained,

“Y/N… Alex didn’t show up for court a couple of hours ago… We… don’t know where she is. She’s not answering her phone, we can’t track it, it’s dead.”

Your heart sunk. And there was now a limp in your throat. Your heart only raced faster and you suddenly felt dizzy.

Olivia could tell that this was a lot to take in, so she gently held you on both sides of your arms.

“That’s not all…” Cragen sighed.

You looked up at the Captain with glossy eyes and a trembling lip.

“W-what…?” You stammered, bringing your arms into your chest and holding yourself.

“We think Alex was… taken.” He explained slowly.

“W-why would you think that…??” You exclaimed, the anger in you now swelling.

Cragen and Olive exchanged looks. Cragen nodded and relented into the brunettes insistence.

“Come on, let me show you something.” Olivia softly spoke.

She led you outside to the squad room and the media corner. Next to all the screens there was a board. A board of at least 100 photographs. And they were all of Alex. Alex and all the people she interacted with. You were on there, and so was Olivia, and Casey, and Rita, and Liz, and Amanda, and so on.

The pictures were practically Alex’s entire life since she’d been with you. This was years of photos. Some of them looked like they could have been snapped by a news reporter outside the courts. But others, much more intimate pictures of the two of you, could have only been captured by active camera surveillance.

You gasped, bringing your hand to your mouth, as you let out a choked sob that you couldn’t contain anymore. Your stomache sunk. You proceeded to collapse on the floor, and were lucky that Amanda was right by you. The Southern blonde was quick to scoop you up and guide you to take a seat in her desk chair.

She then tried to talk to you, but your mind was spiraling. Suddenly a big boom of stacks of paperwork falling across the squad room brought you back to reality with a jolt.

“Y/N? Y/N, there you are, ‘hun. Hey. Heyyy. It’s going to be okay, alright…?” Amanda reassured you.

“But h-how… do you know that…?” You choked out, the tears continuing to pour out.

At that, Amari and Fin walked into the squad room.

“It’s out lucky day! Perp’s blood was at the scene, that girl put up a fight…!” Amara exclaimed, not having realized that you were there.

You immediately stood up and turned to face Amaro. Nick’s eyes went wide and his face struggled to give away the fact that he knew he had fucked up.

“What scene? What…?? What happened??” You exclaimed with a gasp, frustration and anger running through your veins once more.

Amanda pulled you towards her and into her embrace. Her touch calmed you a little, but right now, you really needed it to be Alex’s touch. After a minute, her hug actually and surprisingly helped.

“Thanks…” you muttered.

Amanda shrugged and smiled lightly, as if it was nothing.

“Learned that in Atlanta, had a partner who had anxiety attacks.” The blonde told you, “It’s a grounding thing.”

You listened and nodded along. But your mind quickly started to wander back to Alex again.

“Wait what scene? Do you know where she was taken…??” You asked.

Amanda sighed and stood up, telling you to wait here. She checked in with Cragen in his office, before coming back to you and grabbing her keys.

“Come on, let’s go for a ride.” Amanda told you, indicating for you to follow her.

You gulped and nodded, silently following the Southern blonde with your wobbly legs. You two got into her patrol car, and she began driving. The ride was silent. You had now become numb, your feelings too much to bear. You didn’t want to go down the rabbit hole of what could go wrong… So you stayed in the ignorance of feeling numb.

After about 15-20 minutes, Amanda pulled up to you and Alex’s shared brownstone. You gulped as your eyes widened as it began to click for you.

“This is…” you stammered, trying to find the words.

“Come on, Darling. I’ll explain inside.” Amanda gently reassured you, squeezing your left hand caringly, before getting out of the car.

You followed the blonde detective up the steps of your brownstone and inside. No one was here anymore. But it was a mess, all taped up with crime scene tape and marked with evidence markers and such. It made your stomache flip upside down when you saw blood on the kitchen doorway.

“What Amaro said, that asshole… was that Alex didn’t go down without a fight…” Amanda explained, taking your hand in reassurance as you walked through the torn apart apartment.

“Alex managed to make her kidnapper bleed.” Amanda breathed out.

At that you looked at the woman with wide eyes.

“So you can find out who they are?” You immediately asked.

Amanda bit her inner cheek and looked way slightly.

“Yeaaa ideally yes… but we already ran it, and he’s not in the system…” she explained.

Any and all hope that you had just gained was lost all over again. Amanda squeezed your hand again in reassurance.

“So what’s next…? What can I do?” You asked, desperate to do anything, to get her back, to see her again.

“First, we are going to walk through your place and go through the events, at least what we know. See if any of it jogs your memory of like someone who would want to harm Alex…” Amanda breathed out.

You shuttered and nodded slowly.

“Then when Olivia and Cragen give the go ahead, I’ll take you back to svu and Olivia will properly interview you…”

You gulped, yet nodded again.

“Ok, let’s do it…” you breathed out.

Amanda nodded and guided you by your hand, walking you through the scene. All your feelings came crashing back as the blonde detective walked you through the theory SVU had of what happened.

Alex hadn’t even left for the office yet, having not needed to go in as early that day… You and already left for work, when someone had come to the door. Alex must have known the person, because she let them in (or they had a gun). The main struggle was in the kitchen. SVU assumed that Alex had most likely tried to reason with whomever the perp was, but it went south in the kitchen. Alex’s blood was on the counter, in a circular mark that upheld that the assailant had violently cracked Alex’s head down upon the counter. There were also blood splatters of Alex’s going from the kitchen and out the door, by the amount and pattern of the blood, it was assumed that the assailant had shot Alex somewhere in the leg, but hadn’t hit a major artery or vein. Luckily, on the kitchen doorway, there was Alex’s bloody partial print, but there blood wasn’t hers. The theory was that before the shooter had incapacitated her, she got a swing or two in, and then when he dragged her out, she made one last attempt to grasp the doorway, leaving the perps blood.

Your heart was pounding in your ears three times as fast as earlier. Tears were pouring down your face and you hadn’t even realized it. Amanda squeezed your hand tighter, as she asked you if it sounded like someone you knew or if it triggered any memories.

“N-no… Mm sorry…” you gasped out in between sobs.

The Southern blonde now came in front of you and took both of your hands.

“Don’t be, you did so good, Y/N.” Amanda comforted you, before receiving a ding on her phone and checking her notifications.

It was Olivia telling Amanda to bring you back. You spent the car ride opposite of the last, filled with all the emotions. You were distraught, and sad, and afraid, and angry, and infuriated, and so much more. Your head was swimming, no drowning it it all. You just wanted a break. You wanted Alex safe in your arms.

Amanda led you back into the squad room, passing you off to Olivia with a reassuring smile. Olivia took you into the family interview room, one that was less jarring than the brick and mortar perp interview/confession rooms. She had you sit on the couch next to her.

“Y/N, Amanda told me that you couldn’t think of anything at the crime scene…”

“Don’t… call it that…” you sputtered, having cried yourself out in the car and now hicupping instead.

Olivia sighed, “Of course, I’m sorry— At your and Alex’s home…”

You had your hands clasped in your lap and you were rocking back and forth anxiously. The brunette detective reached for your hands with her hands and tried to physically comfort you, but you jerked in response, starting to hyperventilate. The brunette detective was quick to retract and stick with her interview questions.

“Besides what you didn’t think of at the crim— your and Alex’s place— Can you think of anyone who would want to hurt you…?” Olivia prodded gently.

You shook your head and then hiccuped. Alex had her hair share of criminals who didn’t like her, but nothing she ever found concerning enough to share with you.

“Alright, what about anyone following you recently…? Notice any reoccurring faces…?” She asked.

You thought about it, going through your last months, if not years in your mind.

“I… don’t think so, no…” you stammered, with two more hiccups.

“Alright… Can I get you some water?”

“Yes please…” you whispered, not being able to handle the eye contact, so you simply shut your eyes.

Olivia muttered something with a hum, letting go of your hands, and leaving the room with the door ajar. You just sat there, with your eyes closed and shaking in your boots. You could hear the noisy clamor of the squad room from the ajar door. It was still just as chaotic, if not more. Tensions were high, and fuses were short.

Before Olivia could come back with your water, a familiar voice boomed while entering the squad room.

“Who the hell didn’t inform me about Alex going missing, and why the fuck did I need to find out like this?!”

You immediately stood up with a jolt, scrambling into the squad room to see Rita standing furiously in the middle of the room, while holding up a manila envelope with her name on it. Calhoun’s determined scowl faltered as she noticed you in the corner. She immediately lowered her mask of defense lawyer and rushed over to you.

Her hands were all of over you, checking to see if you were okay. They landed on each side of your face, as her concerned gaze looked at you.

“Hey Baby… How are you holding up…?” She asked, her eyes still scanning you up and down, before landing on your gaze when she expected an answer.

But all she got was a choked sob from you, your tears now back in full swing. The older woman immediately pulled you in for a hug, which you happily accepted. She hugged you tight and with fierce love, you could feel every fiber of her being that cared through the embrace. When Rita let you go, you wheezed and little and whipped your tears away.

Olivia had by now gotten your water and caught wind of the commotion, now coming up to you and Rita. Rita sent daggers to the brunette detective, making Olivia stop a couple feet away from you.

“What’s in the envelope…?” Olivia quipped, before extending her hand with your water in it.

Rita took the water, examined it, then gave it to you, instructing you to drink, before she considered answering Olivia. When she did, her eyes went sad. The main SVU members had surrounded the two of you, all curious as to what Rita had brought. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hard drive.

“Aha! My area of expertise…!” Munch exclaimed, taking the hard drive from Rita and going over to the media corner to open whatever files were contained within the stick.

You went to follow the rest do the team to see what was on the file, but Rita grabbed you by your arm before you could get too far. You turned back to Rita and looked at the woman who had been your mentor, aunt, mom, practically everything with confusion and glossy eyes.

“ ‘Hun, you may not want to see that…” Rita sighed with deep sadness in her eyes.

She had already seen it.

Your eyes hardened and you frowned. You quickly pulled your hand out of Rita’s grasp.

“Like hell I won’t…” you exclaimed, then turning around and walking up behind the team who were all gathered around Munch who was about to click play on a video file.

Rita came up behind you, her eyes staying on you the entire time as the video played. She watched your face whiten, watched your face wash over in horror, then a wave of anger. She watched your shock, then followed by uncontrollable sadness and tears.

Alex was in the centre of the screen, tied up and hanging by her wrists around a rusty metal bar running along the wall. Her head was hanging low. Her hair frazzled and tired. Her clothing was dirty, torn, and bloody. There was a light sway of her body as it hung from the beam. Her shoes had been discarded. The bottom half of her her stomache was on display, as her shirt was being strained from the position. Her left lower leg was bleeding, presumably from the gunshot from the struggle at the brownstone. Her forehead was all bloody from the blow to the counter.

Suddenly, a person stepped into the frame. They were wearing all black and had their face and voice masked. He had some kind of black colored weapon, almost baton looking in his hand. He laughed wickedly into the camera, before turning his attention to Alex.

“As I can’t torture all of you, unfortunately… One will have to do…” The man tilted his head as he turned on the stick and plunged it against Alex’s exposed side stomache with a cackle.

Alex’s body convulsed and jolted uncontrollably as she was she was hit with volts and volts of burning electricity. She let out a desperate groan, which turned into a silent scream as tears poured down her face, as she fought against her restraints and against the volts. After a couple solid seconds of this, the man finally retracted the insane taser torture. As he moved the torture device back, Alex’s freshly burned skin could be seen, a fresh branded circle on the side of her stomache. The man proceeded to repeat this process for multiple rounds. And the whole time, Alex fought and screamed and convulsed, as tears ran down her face and shirt. Finally, after five burning rounds, Alex passed out. And the man stopped, looking to the camera with a grin.

“No point if the bitch isn’t awake…” He chuckled wickedly, “And that was only Act 1… Dedicated to Detective Olivia Benson…”

Rage was quick to take over your enter being, all the sadness quickly forgotten. You nearly assaulted Olivia right then and there. But Rita saw this coming, and she was quick to hold you back as you attempted to pounce on the brunette detective across from you.

You scowled and fought back, the team all taking a step back from you, all of them just as shocked as you were. But Rita held you firm.

“Shhhh, Baby, it’s okay… Calm down…” Rita cooed into the shell of your ear, “It’s going to be okay, it’s not Olivia’s fault…”

After a couple seconds, Rita managed to get you to promise to not punch the older brunette detective in the face. So she let you go. You huffed and didn’t know what to do. You were hit with another wave of sudden sadness.

As you were having your life crisis, the team began speculating and conversating about what they could learn from the video and how they could find Alex. You weren’t able to focus on them or anything anymore, everything started to just fade away into black.

When you woke up, you were in Rita’s lap, back in the family interview room. For a split second, you felt at peace’s and then reality smacked you back in the face. Rita was beginning to tell you that you had passed out when you began to freak out.

“Hey, Hey. It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe, it’s okay.” Rita comforted you, as you sat up startled and distraught.

“N-no it’s n-not… Alex my Lex she’s… she’s…” you choked out, hyperventilating.

Rita was quick to take you into her arms on the couch and comfort you. She ran her fingers through your hair, she rubbed your arms and hands and side, calming you as best as you could.

“Hey. We are going to find this sycko who did this… ok? The team is on it…” Rita insisted and ensured you, “Take some deep breaths for me, Baby…”

You nodded shakily, your entire body shaking in Rita’s arms, as you took some deep breaths. You began to doze off in the woman’s arms, Rita was quick to encourage you to not fight it. And so you dozed off…

You awoke startled once more by a shriek echoing through the squad room and into where you and Rita were. You practically fell off the couch and scrambled out to the squad. Rita was swift behind you. Your eyes fell on Casey, who now had a Manila envelope in her hand with her name on it.

“Where did you get that??” Olivia questioned the redhead.

“I… a junior officer dropped it off… I don’t know, sorry” Casey stammered, handing it off to Olivia who opened it.

“Fin, Amanda, go find that junior officer, maybe he can give us a lead on this guy.” Cragen told his team.

Fin and Amanda nodded and left the room at once. Olivia had found another hard drive, having passed it to Munch to analyze. Rita’s eyes widened as Munch went to press play, and she tried to pull you away once more, but you only pulled away from her and to the screen with more ferocity. With a click from Munch, the video began…

Alex was still in the same position. She was awake again. But barely. Drool was coming from the sides of her mouth as her head lolled down. Her breathing was heavy and labored, affecting her entire body as it hung from the rope attached to her wrists and around the beam.

The man then came back into the camera screen. He held a knife in his hand this time. After taunting the camera, he stalked up to Alex, his free hand roughly grabbing and wrenching her blouse open. The buttons clattered to the floor as the perp moved the torn blouse aside, showing off Alex’s black bra and exposed chest and stomache.

Alex seemed to barely register anything until the knife began slicing her chest. She let out a howl at the pain, deep enough to hurt, but not deep enough to kill. He continued these slices, along her stomache, along her clothed arms as well, and all the way up to her shoulders and neck. He seemed to only be egged on by Alex’s groans and cries, which very quickly turned into begging and pleading for him to stop. Once the man reached her neck, he held the knife firmly along her throat, before speaking. The dozens of cuts all bleed into one another, practically covering Alex’s entire upper body in blood.

“Act 2 is not as bad, because you just sucked at your job…” The man sneered, “But trust me, the next one… I’d be surprised if the bitch doesn’t die… Dedicated to Rita Calhoun.”

Your knees buckled and you collapsed on the floor as Alex let out a particular blood curteling scream in the video. Tears streamed down your face as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch the rest of the video, the audio already taunting you enough. You felt your body go limp and you began to slouch and fall from your knees to the ground completely.

“Turn it off! Off!!” Rita yelled enraged, before dropping to the ground with you and comforting you.

Munch turned the video off, but not before the man was able to dedicate the video to Rita. Rita’s eyes widened and her throat went dry. The whole team stared at the two of you. Rita was dumbfounded at what this had to do with her, but she was quick to spring into action over it.

“Novak. Take Y/N to the diner down the street. She probably hasn’t eaten all day.” Rita commanded the room.

Casey’s eyes widened, and she immediately nodded in understanding.

“Of course, Rita.” Casey said, hurriedly coming over to the two of you.

You tried to protest as Rita handed you over to Casey, but Rita was stern and quickly silenced you, not that you could say anything right now with how overwhelmed you were. Casey was quick to file you out of the room.

You didn’t even remember leaving SVU or getting to the diner, all you remember is suddenly sitting with Casey looking at the late lunch menu. You were shaking and fidgeting like crazy.

Casey reached her hand across the table and squeezed your balled up fist reassuringly. You looked up to the redhead with your stained and now completely dried out eyes, having cried it all out for the second time today.

“Hey. Let’s get you some food, huh…?” Casey hummed.

You nodded slowly. The waitress came, but you couldn’t hear a thing. Casey looked at you with care and understanding, ordering for the both of you. Then once the waitress had left, her attention was on you once more.

“C-Casey…?” You whispered.

Casey leaned in and softly spoke,

“Yes…?”

“How… how are you okay…?” You whispered, a single tear rolling down your cheek as you blinked, “She’s… she’s like your best friend and you hers…”

Casey sighed and squeezed your hand again.

“Y/N, look at me.” Casey hummed, her tone breaking in a falter.

You finally looked at Casey again, and took in her appearance. You suddenly noticed the tear stains on her face and how crazy her long, normally well curled hair was.

“I am not okay. I just… suck at showing my emotions…” Casey explained gently, her own eyes beginning to gloss over as she became more vulnerable.

Your lips pressed together and you smiled lightly, nodding in understanding. You gasped slightly as you felt your phone vibrate once in your pocket. You then felt another vibration. Then one last final third vibrating. You pulled your hands into your lap, away from Casey. The redhead looked at you concerningly.

“Everything okay…?” Casey asked.

“Mm yea… just… need the restroom…” you muttered, before getting out of the diner booth and going to the back where the bathroom was.

Casey nodded, watching you leave, before getting on her phone and updating the team, as well as getting updated by what they had figured out. She let the team know that you were doing okay and that she was about to feed you. She sighed and let out a light groan, trying to process the weight of what was happening, while reading the update from the group chat.

Munch had analyzed the background of the video, having figured out that Alex was being kept in some warehouse. Which one, they had no clue.

Fin and Amanda had gotten no leads from the junior officer, apparently the envelope had been given to him by a homeless looking guy who disappeared as soon as he dropped off the package at the precinct.

Rita, Olivia, and Nick had been spending their time looking over old case files and anything that connected Olivia and Rita along with possibly Alex, in hope to find a perp or bad guy who got away somehow and wanted revenge.

When Casey was done being caught up, the food had come. But you were still in the bathroom… The redhead grew suspicious, getting up from the table and walking to the back of the diner to the bathroom. She knocked on the door, but received no answer. Quickly, she tried your cell. Straight to voicemail.

~~

As you stepped into the bathroom, you couldn’t shake the terrible feeling about the texts, so you locked the door and immediately opened your phone. The texts were all from one unknown number.

Y/N L/N.

Then a video link.

Act 3. Elizabeth Donnelly

You didn’t even click or see the video. Not yet. You saw Liz’s name and couldn’t think of anything else. Liz would know what to do. She always knew what to do.

You carefully escaped from Casey’s gaze and hold out of the back of the diner, rushing to catch a cab to the DA’s office where Liz would most likely be. The ride wasn’t too long, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to press play on that video. Liz would know what to do. She always did.

Once your reached Liz’s office, you didn’t even knock, simply barging in. Liz was talking with a few DA’s, and she was about to dig into whoever interrupted them, but then she saw your state.

“Leave. All of you, now!” Liz ordered, shooing the attorneys away.

You quickly shut and locked the door behind you. Liz looked you up and down.

“Y/N, what is going on…?” The older woman spoke firmly.

You were hyperventilating again. You could sit, you were pacing. But you had to tell her something. And you tried, but you couldn’t bring yourself to explain. Liz stood up, recognizing the signs of an anxiety attack, and coming over to you in concern. She guided you to sit with her on her office couch, asking you again, more softly this time,

“Honey, what’s the matter…?”

You let out a choked sob, bringing out your phone and clicking the video. That was the only thing you could think of. Liz watched your every movement. You pressed play.

Alex was hanging as in the last video, but her blouse was completely gone. Her breathing was shallow and barely there, but she was still alive.

The man showed back up, coming up to the camera to say hello, before quickly turning his attention to Alex once more with the same knife as before in his hands. He grabbed Alex’s chin and pulled her face to meet his gaze. Alex tried to growl and fight back, but the exhaustion on her face was evident. He had probably drugged her up real good so that she didn’t stand a chance… While the man held her face rough with one hand, his other with the knife sliced her bra into pieces. He then let her face go with a smack! before tearing the bra off her body. The vulnerable whimper that Alex let out was distinct. And it only fed into the man’s fantasies. He then bent down to her bottom half and ran the knife down her side, followed by his hands ripping her skirt open. He wrenched that off her as well, throwing it aside. Alex was now left only in her panties. She closed her eyes and went limp, as the man trailed the knife in between her legs and up against her clothed core. He then moved to her thigh and ripped her underwear off with a snap! until she was fully nude, hanging for everyone to see. Another hopeless whimper left Alex as the man suddenly smacked her ass.

Before the video could finish, Liz slammed the phone down onto the ground, effectively pausing it. Your eyes went wide and you looked at the older woman with an open mouth. She looked horrified. But Rage was quick to replace the shock.

“What?! Liz wait—!!” You exclaimed as the blonde stood up and shook her white knuckle fists.

Liz turned back to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

“What in the actual fuck is going on, Y/N?!Why in the hell are you making me watch my daughter be tortured by some psycho???” Liz shrilled.

“Lower your voice!!” You harshly whispered, swiftly standing up and getting in her face, and effectively shutting Liz up for a second with how stern you and suddenly become.

“Then you better goddamn tell me what is going on…” Liz growled.

“OK—” you exclaimed, placing your hand on your forehead and sighing.

You say down again as the overwhelming sadness hit you once more.

“Lex… was taken… didn’t show up in court…” you stammered, “Guy’s been sending… videos…” you choked up.

Liz then picked up the phone from the floor, sitting back down next to you in silence for a moment.

“How many?”

You were jolted out of your grief by her words.

“W-what…?” You stammered.

“How many videos… did he send…?” Liz spoke, trying to sound in control but her own tone faltering and cracking a little.

“This is the third. He usually talks about it in the video…” you said quietly.

This made Liz look at you and then back to the phone. She turned it on and clicked play again. You both sat in anticipation as the video continued.

Alex’s bloody, bruised, and now completely exposed body came back on screen, right where it had left off. Alex flinched as the man smacked her ass a second time.

“Shut up Bitch!! Take it, We all know you want it!!!” The man jeered, before smacking her ass a third time and then grabbing and fondling her tits.

Alex tried to pull away from his touch, she tried to yell or cry or shout, but she found that her body was not taking orders from her mind anymore. Her body had gone limp. But she could feel everything. She could see everything in her line of sight. She could hear everything.

When she went completely silent, unable to protest anymore, the man cackled again, louder and more taunting than ever. He then proceeded to come up to the camera.

“Now, I’m not gonna show you this next bit… I’m going to save that for when you find her dead body… But Act 3 is dedicated to that bitch judge, Elizabeth Donnelly…” the man jeered.

The video then went static for a second. Then the camera came back on and showed an unconscious Alex Cabot, swaying lightly back and forth. Where her body wasn’t sliced and cut, it was bruised. Where her body wasn’t bloody, it was covered in dirt, like it had been thrown at her. The faint and small outlines of cigarette burns were trailed across both of her arms and thighs. Her mouth was filled with an oozing her own blood, as if 100 fists had hit her. And her right tit was branded with a symbol, difficult to make out. All of this and so much worse would be discovered had been done to her…

The video ended and silence took the room. Suddenly you heard crying. You looked over and Liz was hunched over and crying in her lap. You weren’t sure what to do, haven’t ever seen the powerful, older woman so vulnerable before. You just instinctively wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t… didn’t know what to do… I thought if I came to you…” you rambled, now feeling guilty for having brought this to Liz.

“Hush… none of that… ssnot your fault.” Liz breathed out in sniffles, accepting your embrace and pressing into you even more, “I know she’s not… my real daughter but if anything happens to her… I… I don’t know what I’d do…”

You two sobbed in each other’s arms for a while. It was only when someone came banging on Liz’s office door with no sudden warning that the two of you jumped apart and off the couch. You went to unlock the door and storming in came a furious Rita.

Rita wouldn’t even hear it from you. She took your phone immediately. All the way back to the squad room, the car was silent between the three of you.

Casey had figured out that you had run away, and she had immediately called SVU. They had divided and conquered all the places they thought you’d go. And the second Liz wasn’t answering her own phone, Casey knew that was where you had gone.

Back in the squad room, Munch began analyzing your phone. You sat in one of the detectives chairs, fidgeting and bouncing your leg, under Rita’s intense gaze. She had made you tell the team everything that had happened. She was not going to let you slip away again. Over her dead body.

Liz immediately threw a fit and started ordering people around. After looking at the files that Olivia and Amara had compiled, it took her five minutes to put it together. Liz found a perp who had escaped jail, whom Olivia had interrogated, Rita had represented and lost, She had judged, and Alex had prosecuted and won.

The second the team had their perp, they began canvassing possible areas. The man leased a piece of warehouse property near the river as it was discovered, so that’s where everyone rushed to go to.

Everyone was on edge.

“I’m gonna go!” You exclaimed to Rita.

“No you are not!!” She shrieked back.

“Why not?!! She’s the love of my life!!!” You yelled, tears running down your face as you screamed.

“Because she might be dead, Y/N!!!!”

Practically the entire squad room went silent at this. They all stared at you and Rita. But quickly, they all began their work again, and the team ran out to the location to find Alex. Both Rita and Liz held you back as you fought to get outside and in a squad car. But they held the upper hand. You collapsed in both of their arms, desperate and exhausted, completely out of energy.

~~

The team did indeed find Alex, although she was barely breathing. They immediately sent her to Mercy’s, where Rita and Liz already had you there waiting. You sat in the waiting room, in between the two woman, shaking and fidgeting restlessly.

Hours went by with no update. Eventually, it was all too much for you. You leaned against Rita’s shoulder for some comfort and before you could stop yourself, you were falling asleep.

~~

“Y/N, love, wake up…” Liz gently woke you, making you snort lightly as you came back to reality.

She was offering you a hand, which you eagerly took to stand up. The nurse came up to you.

“You may see her now. One at a time please.” The nurse told the group of you.

Everyone looked at you and pretty much all agreed in unison and with mere looks that you would be the person going in to see her first.

You entered the hospital room, and immediately came up to Alex’s bedside. You felt relief wash over you that she was here with you and that she was okay. You held one of her hands as she came to.

“Mmm heyyyy…” Alex said in an extremely scratchy and hoarse voice, her head turning slowly towards you.

Tears of joy began to spill out and down your cheeks. You squeezed your wife’s hand lovingly.

“Hi Lex…” you whispered, “How are you feeling…?”

“Like someone pumped an entire pharmacy through me…” Alex groaned lightly, “mm pretty sure I was drugged… most of the time I couldn’t move or speak…” her tone got sad and overwhelmed, as tears started to form on her sapphire eyes.

“Hey hey, it’s okay.” You comforted Alex, who met your gaze again, smiling at the sight of you, “You’re safe with me now, that’s all that matters…”

Alex lightly squeezed your hand now as she smiled. It would be a long road to recovery, but the important thing is that you would be with her every step of the way.

Her squeeze on your hand faded, which you just attributed to the blonde being tired. But then her eyes closed… and then you couldn’t hear her breathing. You jolted when the heart rate monitor started going off.

Suddenly, there were 4-5 hospital staff members in the room, pushing you aside. You stood in the corner of the room, with your hands over your mouth, silent tears flooding down your face. You heard the designated coding sound come from the machine, and you collapsed onto the floor. Everything went numb.

You could vaguely hear a nurse giving you her condolences. You didn’t even reliaze that you were walking out of the room until you stood in front of the group that loved Alex the most. You were violently shaking, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Liz was the first own to come up to you, to see what was wrong. And Liz was the first one to understand… You fell to your knees and cried into your hands, not caring anymore. You’d lost the love of your life, your wife, your everything.

Liz looked more emotional and out of control than she’d ever been. She kept stammering that it couldn’t be true, but once a doctor came out and told the entire group the news, Liz let out a distraught wail, covering her face in her hands as she sobbed. Casey immediately buried herself in Liz’s embrace which Liz of course accepted. The last thing you remember about that day was Rita coming up to you and embracing you on the floor…

~~~

Alexandra Cabot Masterlist

Olivia Benson Masterlist

Casey Novak Masterlist

Elizabeth Donnelly Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

Amanda Rollins Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

[lesbehonestsstuff]

One of those nights

(Olivia/Casey/Alex)

Word count: 1000

The city outside was quiet for once, the hum of late-night traffic and distant sirens blending into the background. Inside the apartment, the lights were dim, casting soft shadows along the walls. Alex Cabot sat on the couch, her legs curled under her, eyes distant as she stared at the untouched book in her lap. Sleep never came easily after days of back-to-back cases, and tonight was no different.

Casey had collapsed into bed as soon as they’d come home, out like a light the moment her head hit the pillow, exhausted, her body utterly drained after three sleepless nights. Olivia had been in a similar state, collapsing next to the redhead and currently in bed with her, at least that’s what Alex thought. But Olivia was prone to sleepwalking when she was beyond exhausted, and it seemed to be one of those nights.

It started with the soft creak of the bedroom door, pulling Alex’s attention. She looked up, already knowing what she’d find. Olivia, eyes half-lidded and clearly not awake, shuffling out of the bedroom, mumbling incoherently under her breath as she shuffled toward the kitchen. Alex sighed softly, her tired mind already knowing the routine. This wasn’t unusual she often had to chase Olivia around the apartment in the middle of the night. She often sleepwalked when she was overly exhausted, and after the marathon case they’d just finished, it was no surprise.

"Liv, come on," Alex said softly, rising from the couch. She crossed the room with quiet steps, guiding Olivia gently away from the kitchen counter where she seemed intent on making herself a midnight snack.

Olivia, still dead asleep, swayed on her feet, murmuring something under her breath about case files and evidence, and Alex bit back a smile, even in her exhaustion. “Not tonight, detective. Time to sleep,” she whispered, wrapping her arm around Olivia’s waist.

Alex carefully maneuvered Olivia back toward the bedroom, holding her steady as she walked in her dream-like state. As they passed the bed, Casey shifted under the blankets, one arm stretching out to Olivia’s side of the bed, searching in her sleep for the warmth that had disapeared.

Alex gently tucked Olivia back under the covers, smoothing the blankets over her shoulders. But no sooner had Olivia settled in, than Casey stirred again, mumbling incoherent sounds. Alex smiled down at them, her stomach fluttering at the sight of them both, exhausted but finding comfort in each other even while asleep.

Just as Alex turned to slip away and let them rest, she felt Casey's hand reach out and catch her wrist, her grip surprisingly strong despite being half asleep. "Lexie," Casey murmured, her voice raspy from sleep, "stay."

Alex felt her breath catching in her throat at the sound of the affectionate nickname, one Casey rarely used unless she was either particularly soft or completely wiped out. Alex looked at her, at those sleepy green eyes blinking up at her, and then at Olivia, who had instinctively shifted closer to Casey in her sleep, arm draped over her waist protectively.

Casey shifted again, pressing back against Olivia’s firm body, but her hand remained latched onto Alex’s wrist, pulling her gently toward the bed. "Please," Casey whispered, voice thick with fatigue. "Stay with us."

Alex opened her mouth to protest, the familiar arguments ready on her tongue—I can't sleep, it's okay, you two need the rest—but seeing the way Casey blinked at her, sleepy but needing her there, made those excuses dissolve.

God, how could she ever say no to her?

With a soft sigh of surrender, Alex slipped into bed beside them, careful not to jostle either woman too much. The moment she settled in, Casey let out a content sigh, her arm snaking around Alex’s waist as she buried her face in Alex’s shoulder. Olivia, still completely asleep, shifted as if instinctively sensing Alex’s presence, her arm tightening across Casey, her fingers brushing against Alex’s arm as well.

The warmth of their bodies surrounded Alex immediately, and she was struck by how right it felt to be there with them. Even though her mind was still buzzing with the stress from the case, being with them made the noise in her head a little less loud. Alex wasn’t someone who usually thrived on physical affection, she preferred her space, her independence, but when it came to these two, she’d willingly let herself be enveloped by it, by them.

Casey, ever the affectionate one, nuzzled closer into Alex’s side, her breath soft against Alex’s neck as she mumbled, half-asleep, “Love you, Lexie.”

Alex’s chest tightened, her heart aching in that bittersweet way it always did when she was reminded just how deeply Casey cared for her. She brushed her fingers against Casey’s arm, tracing her freckles with her fingers. “Love you too, Case,” she whispered.

Her free hand moved almost without thinking, fingers threading through Olivia’s dark hair, smoothing it back from her face. Olivia made a small, content noise in her sleep, her fingers reaching for Alex’s wrist a sleepy smile on her face.

Alex reached out, alternating between running her fingers through Olivia’s soft hair and gently stroking Casey’s arm. The simple, intimate act grounded her. She may not be able to sleep, but she didn’t mind spending the night like this, watching over them as they rested.

The hours passed slowly, the moonlight giving way to the soft hues of dawn. Eventually, the first rays of sunlight crept through the window, bathing the room in a gentle, golden light. Casey shifted again, turning in Olivia’s arms and burying her face in Olivia’s shoulder with a small sigh, while Olivia remained still, her breathing deep and even, soft snores coming from her lips.

Alex felt a quiet contentment settle over her, watching her loves wraped around each other. She pressed a soft kiss to Casey’s temple, then to Olivia’s shoulder, letting herself relax into the warmth of their shared bed.

She could stay like this forever.

[mollycabot]

Alex Cabot X Reader It’s Ok Not to be ok

A/N talks about mental health and struggles with mental health, and SH Scars Alex wonders why her girlfriend hasn’t contacted her in a while

Alex was sat in her office chatting with Olivia a Casey and doing her paperwork however something was playing on Alex’s mind.

“What’s up Alex you been a bit quiet is everything ok?” Casey asked and Olivia looked like she was about to asks the same thing.

“No I’m worried I haven’t heard from Y/N In a while normally she would text me or swing by the office at lunch but I haven’t heard from her the last text she sent me was two days ago staying she not well and was taking some time off,” Alex said Olivia and Casey shared a look.

“Why do you call and we can see if she wants to join us for a girls movie night at mine” Casey offered.

“Not a bad idea” Alex agreed and got out her phone,

“Hello” Y/n said “Y/N hi how are you dear it’s been a while” Alex said.

“Yes my apologies Alex I just been really tried want to come around or something?” Y/N asked secretly hoping she wouldn’t have to go anywhere.

“Well me and Casey and Liv are going to have a movie night if you want to join us?” Alex explained.

“Sure that sounds like fun I get ready and meet you at your office?” Y/N said “alright sounds like a plan love you lots” Alex said and hung up.

“So what it’s it?” Casey asked “she said yes and she coming by the office” Alex relaid the phone call to Casey and Olivia.

Y/N got herself out of bed and worked her way through her mess apartment and walked into her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and started crying she had always struggled with mental health and she was scared of Alex finding out however after a few bad days everything was building up and be became to much.

Once Y/N pulled herself together she grabbed her zip hoodie and bag and made her way to the DA’s office.

Decided against taking a cab Y/N walked all the way in the rain once she arrived she made her way to Alex’s office by this time Casey and Olivia had gone round to Casey’s while Alex waited.

“Hey love you ok, wait did you walk her?” Alex said looking at her girlfriend who was drowning in her wet clothes. Y/N nodded and Alex shock her head lightly.

“What I’m going to do with you Y/N here” Alex said taking out some spare clothes and a towel go get yourself changed” while I tidy up my office” Alex said

Y/N nodded and went to go short herself out. Shit Y/N thought Alex gave me a tank top and some leggings but no hoodie.

Once Y/N got changed she made her way back to Alex’s office as Alex was shorting out some files Y/N saw her hoodie and ran to get it and put it on so Alex wouldn’t have to see her scars however Alex turned around.

“You ready?” Alex said as she turned to look at her girlfriend “oh honey”alex took in her lover’s appearance “Y/N why don’t we sit on my couch for a second” Alex gently said as she guided Y/N over to sit down.

“Y/N I’ve got to ask and I’m sorry but have you been struggling lately?” Alex gently said in the hopes of not upsetting Y/N.

Y/N started crying “I’m so sorry Alex I was going to tell you I promise I just idk I felt so low all my life I struggle and struggle until I got so overwhelmed and I was scared that you would think differently of me or you would hate me I mean look at me and my apartment is a mess I can’t remember the last time I had a actual meal and wasn’t just Pringles or energy drinks or take out.”

“Hun take a breath for me please” Alex said pulling Y/N into her arms “it’s all going to be ok I promise you and please please if you are struggling come to me I will help and I won’t push you away or hate you you are mine and I will always love you and you are funny sweet kind and your my perfect love” Alex said hugging Y/N Tight.

“Come on love we need to get going or Casey and Liv are going to be wondering where we got to” Alex laughed “ok but wait what about my hoodie” Y/N said “well that’s still wet but here” Alex gave Y/N her turtleneck long sleeve. Y/N smiled and put it on

“Thank Alex love” Y/N said taking Alex’s hand as they walked out and got into a cab and made there way to Casey apartment.

“Well if it isn’t the two love birds who took forever” Casey said jokingly as she invited Y/N and Alex In.

“Snacks are on the table and blankets on the couch please make yourself comfortable” Casey said heading back into the living room. Alex took a spot on the couch and Y/N crawled into Alex’s lap.

“Aww look at that so sweet” Olivia said as Alex combed through Y/N’s hair with her hand as the moive was playing Alex and Casey and Olivia where making small talk, “why is Y/N so quite?” Casey asked as everyone looked towards Y/N “aww she asleep” Casey said quietly not wanting to wake the sleeping girl.

“She had a long day” Alex explained “aww bless her” Olivia said “why don’t you take her to my guess room and you guys can stay the night” Casey offered. And Alex thanked her as she picked Y/N up and carried her to the bedroom as Olivia and Casey tidy up the living room.

Once Olivia left Casey gently knocked on the door and dropped some PJs off for Alex and Y/N.

“Thanks case I will change but I don’t want to wake Y/N up so I’m just going to head to bed with her.” Alex said

“That’s alright good night Alex” Casey said closing the door behind her. Once Alex was ready for bed she careful got in to bed and gently scooped Y/N into her arms.

“I will always be her my sweet love and you got me and it’s ok not to be ok and I will help you anyway I can, good night my sweet” Alex kiss Y/N headed and remove her glasses and turned the lights off and close her eyes herself and went to sleep.

[aubvrns]

“Never Not Mine”

| SVU & Headcanons

Synopsis — How would they react to you sulking because they have been ignoring your calls.

Note — Olivia Benson, Alexandra Cabot, Casey Novak, Melinda Warner // inspired by the loveliest, @lxndrlvr !

(Female reader centered, no pronouns used!)

———————————————————————

!!

Olivia Benson

• — Olivia would kneel down beside your bed and press kisses all over your hand, apologizing over and over again until you’d look at her.

• — She was not the most responsible person when it came to her personal cellphone. Everyone, especially the captain knew that. One time, Cragen found her phone on top of the coffee maker overheated.

• — This time, she left her phone in the bathroom. Thankfully, it wasn’t waterboarded.

• — When she realizes you are ignoring her, she would straddle your hips and place kisses all over your face just to get a reaction out of you. And once she does, she embarrassedly explains why she missed your calls.

• — “Casey rang it and found in on top of the toilet seat.” She whispers, “Hehe, sorry.”

• — And to make it up to you, Olivia would give her full attention to you by cuddling while you watch a movie unbearably inseperable from eachother. She would hold you, resting her head on your shoulder.

• — Not long enough, she falls asleep against it and you couldn’t help but laugh. You really needed to by her a phone charm next time.

Alexandra Cabot

• — She would go home with your favorite flowers, chocolates, and even the cardigan you didn’t realize was missing. You didn’t bother being mad anymore, you just shut your eyes and slept.

• — To be fair, it was 12 AM in the morning. And you didn’t have the energy to be mad at her for missing your calls.

• — Alexandra Cabot, the blonde insomniac who rarely sleeps properly, somehow found herself sleeping on her desk for three hours straight. While her phone was flooded of your calls, her back hurt.

• — She would try to call you back, but assumes you have up on waiting for her.

• — Alex would go to the nearest mall that was still surprisingly open and buy you the things that you like. Tell me why the woman bought a massager as well.

• — “I certainly deserve the back pain for sleeping in my office.” Alex says as you knead her back gently, bringing ease to her body.

• — She would hug you tightly, inhaling your comforting scent in the crook of your neck as she tells you why she missed your calls. She knew you were listening because she would tickle your sides and you would squirm everytime.

Casey Novak

• — Casey would open the door slowly to your room, smiling awkwardly as you ask why she hasn’t been picking up your calls. She could only smile, her cute dimples popping out.

• — She had left her charger at home with her phone running at thirty percent for the whole day. She tried to borrow one from Elliot, but he said he accidentally broke it trying to contemplate his anger.

• — So, it was a whole day of her praying to God that you did not call her out of your worry. Unfortunately, you did. About a million times.

• — She would distract you by huskily whispering compliments in your ear as you lean in her hug, a displeased but smiling expression lies on your face.

• — Casey would cradle you and you would just stay still, letting her do whatever the hell she wants with you. You were glad that she was home, and all that matters is that she is safe.

• — But you playfully roll your eyes as she jokingly starts to sing you a lullaby and coaxing you down on the bed as if you were a newborn baby.

• — “So, I forgot my charger. 😁”

Melinda Warner

• — Melinda would go home to you sleeping peacefully in your bed. She smiles to herself, adjusting your blanket further up your neck.

• — She got cozy. Changing her clothes, unpacking her work bag, and eventually joining you between the sheets.

• — Melinda wasn’t that sleepy yet, so she checks her phone for the first time today. She was confused why she didn’t have any notifications. Turns out, her phone was on do-not-disturb the whole time.

• — When she turns it off, your missed call notifications came flooding her phone to the point you were awaken by the sound of endless chiming. She was in shock, completely unaware that you’ve been calling her.

• — “I’m sorry, darling. I must’ve clicked DND on accident, I didn’t mean to miss your—”

• — You interrupted her by hugging her tiredly, just resting in her embrace. She closes her mouth, playing with your hair to bring you consolation for being alone without any updates.

• — She grins warmly, her eyes observing your peaceful features resting. Melinda met her own weary too, she has alot of making up to do in the morning.

!!

[bestofmultiverse]

I see heaven (crush me)

Chapter 1: I'm a masochist , rip out my guts. (Crush - Fletcher)

Words : 6k +

read on ao3

My calex account- @calex-in-subtext

Casey was stressed, to say a least, it wasn't even the end of the first week of her Harvard college career and she was already STRESSED

In between softball (thank's god for the existence of scholarships), her tons of homework (literally, it's been a week??) and her ability to get lost everywhere because her sense of direction is crap.

She was stressed.

The redhead ran, not walked, RAN to her next class, Criminal Law and Procedure, in the speed of light, already 10 minutes late into her first class in this course and she was dreading it.

Professor cabot wasn't known for being forgiving, probably the reason she was called 'the ice queen' behind her back

Casey walked into the room, finally, hoping to not get too much attention by either her professor or peers, but just for her luck, she got into the room just in the middle of the blonde's interdiction, and got herself a good understanding why everyone else were terrified by the woman.

The woman was gorgeous, like in a sculpture kind of way, high cheekbones, blue eyes and blonde hair in a neat updo.

Casey was terrified.

The blonde's head shot to the door the moment she heard it opening.

If looks could kill cassandra novak would've been dead, she was absolutely certain.

"Give me one reason why should i let you into my class"

The professor said. Not a hint of warmth in her tone.

Shit.

"Im sorry, i got lost on the way here" casey explained, eyes wide open.

She was grateful her voice didn't crack.

"It wont happen again"

Professed cabot looked at casey momentarily, seems to try and decide how to proceed before she looked at the other students.

"As i was saying, before you interrupted, there's a few things i will not tolerate, and lateness is definitely standing somewhere in the top of the list.

Can you guess why's that? If you'll answer correctly i might let you into the class"

The Professor said.

Casey looked at her classmates desperately.

"Because it's disrespectful?"

She asked

The blonde stared at her for a second longer before she she fixed her glasses on her nose and looked at another student, a short haired brunette on the first row.

"Miss benson"

The pretty looking brunette looked at Casey with a small knowing smirk.

Oh no,

Casey thought.

"Because, as lawyers, time's meaning is crucial especially in court."

Professor Cabot nodded at the brunette before looking back at casey. Who was busy glaring at her peer.

"And rightfully so. 10 minutes late might be the line between a criminal's conviction to freedom."

Casey gulped.

"What's your name?"

"Casey- Cassandra novak" casey said

The professor nodded curtly

"Miss novak. You should take this little chat into consideration, i will see you next class, hopefully on time"

Casey's eyebrows farrowed in frustration, she huffed before nodding at her professor and leaving the class, half embarrassed, half annoyed and mostly frustrated.

What the hell is wrong with this woman.

How is she supposed to get the homework she will surly miss. She knows absolutely no one in this class.

After taking a stroll around the campus for 30 more minutes she decided to go back to class, her classmates will be finishing their class and she might get to talk to one of them and catch up with the class.

Professor cabot didn't deem like the kind of woman to forgive missing out on school work and god bless Casey's soul she both wanted to get good grades, and desperately needed to pass this class if she wanted to be an attorney.

Unfortunately for casey, most her peers had already left the class and the others wouldn't bother to even look in her direction.

Assholes.

So she put on her big girls pants and walked back into the classroom she noticed that the professor was occupied in a conversation with a few students, one of them was the brunette from earlier, something benson, so she waited on the side. Not interrupting their ass kissing session.

When the three students left the room, they passed by casey, the brunette scanning her over with a judgmental smile

That damn bitch, casey thought

"Miss novak"

Casey looked away from the smirking brunette to meet blue eyes.

The blonde's stare was intimidating and casey felt herself shrinking, trying to keep herself upright under her gaze.

"Yes, i don't want to bother you on your break i just wanted to see what i missed in class"

The professor nodded at her before taking a piece of sheet from a drawer and handing it over to her.

"Not much material, just the syllabus and the class expectations, luckily for you, you didn't miss much.

I believe you learned from your mistake?"

The blonde gaze pierced casey, and as intimidating it was, she somehow managed to fond the woman a bit impressing.

A real fucking lawyer.

"It won't happen again" casey said with confidence.

Trying to make it look as if she wasn't just silently praying that this whole ordeal will end.

Casey was genuinely a pretty punctual person, and a damn good student, and she needed this cold, hard demeanor professor to know that as well.

"Good" the blonde nodded at her as she fixed her black rimed glasses.

"Anything else?" She asked with a ghost of a knowing smile.

Or casey imagined.

"Nothing more, thank you" casey said politely and left the room.

--

It wasn't long since that first class before casey decided that she didn't actually hated Professor Cabot.

She wasn't the biggest fan of the woman, mostly because she didn't show many emotions- and it was weird, but was still desperately trying to stay on her better side, especially now that casey understood why benson and her friends tried to kiss the woman's ass.

After half an hour of internet stoking, she found out the professor wasn't just incredibly good at her teaching job, but she was also a damn good lawyer and apparently worked at some point alongside the police department to put the most horrible murderers and rapist behind bars with conviction rate of 97% .

Which was insane, that woman never lose.

Casey decided she wanted to be the top of her class, both because she needed to, and also she would've loved to see the look on benson's face when she will.

And maybe because she wanted the older woman's approval.

Unfortunately for casey, who grew up in a middle class family with 3 more siblings, she needed to work, hard in every aspect of life.

There was the fact she had other classes to drown at (and work hard to keep herself at the top), she had softball practices that kicked her ass multiple times a week- and thankfully so because that was the reason she even got a scholarship in the first place.

And on top of this she also had a few shifts a week, making coffee and get embarrassed by doing so to her classmates, that probably never worked for a living a day in their lives, and even a few professors.

Never professor cabot. Tho.

She was exhausted and it's been 3 months into the school year.

On the brighter side of things, casey's roommate george was a sweetheart.

They rented a small (so small) apartment near campus, and it was by far the favorite experience she had in college aside from softball.

After the two officially finished their last test for the quarter , they desperately wanted to do something fun

Plus, her softball teammates kept nagging her about not going to their parties.

And that's how casey found herself spending her Thursday evening getting drunk in some party of someone she knew absolutely nothing about,

although she had classes the next day, they weren't morning classes and she was absolutely optimistic she will manage to get there.

Unfortunately for casey, she forgot how easy it was for her to get drunk, and she got hammered. Hard. And it happened way too earlier than excruciating so it wasn't even 12 am and she was already hammered outside the party, smoking a cigarette and wondering how the fuck she was getting back home.

George, god bless his soul, was having the time of his life, flirting his way into some closeted fratboy pants and her softball friends were chugging on beers and making out with strangers (and each other) without a care in the world.

10 minutes later casey decided she wasn't feeling it anymore, and decided to start the 15 minute walk back to her place so she could , hopefully, sleep the alcohol off.

And so it happens that in the same neighborhood her friends were celebrating their youth, a few blocks away, a certain blonde professor was getting out of a fancy jeep, and being kissed by another.

Casey was trying not to stare, fucking really, but you have to understand,

Casey was very drunk

Like, VERY

And even if professor cabot could've been terrifying, she was a beautiful woman, especially now, in a tight blue dress, hair falling on her shoulders and long, long legs in sight, and especially kissing a woman.

Unfortunately for casey, as much as she would want to say how charming she is, dashing and even mysterious, she was pissed out her mind.

Therefore, right when the stranger was going to deepen the kiss, casey found herself falling down, hands down, and basically smeared on the floor.

A groggy "aw" leaving her mouth,

Alex broken the kiss in a second and looked away from her date, to find not far away from her, a familiar face, pushing herself back up, as if she didn't just fell down and not just scratched both her hands and knees but also hit her face.

Now, as comically it might sound (and it does) that shit hurt like a bitch, and casey was mortified when she looked at her bloody hands.

Her nose was bleeding.

"Miss novak, is that you?"

Casey froze

Oh fuck.

The brunette looked at her date confused

"You know her?"

"A student of mine, i had a lovely evening. will you excuse me?" She hurriedly said to her date, before the other woman could even respond the blonde was already marching towards the drunk woman.

"Are you alright?" The blonde asked softly, worried.

Casey didn't know what she was expecting, definitely not the softness of alex cabot's hands on her cheek, observing her face worriedly.

"Peachy"

It was definitely not.

"I think you broke your nose" alex said

"No shit" casey muttered

"What did you say?"

Alex wasn't even mad, she could see the woman wasn't just drunk but also in absolute shock so she let it slide.

Casey was a good girl after all.

And also, alex figured it was the shock from the fall,

Casey wouldn't admit for the world but the biggest shock was still the sight of her professor in this damn dress.

"Nothing,

i should go"

The redhead said hurriedly before trying to escape the scene.

"You need to see a doctor" alex said and casey eyes widened

"No no I'm fine its just a scratch"

"Cassandra your nose is broken"

Casey heart flutter

Cassandra was indeed her name, as her ID could prove, but she was never called cassandra by anyone who wasn't her mother when she got angry.

Alex saying her name unlocked a weird flutter in her stomach.

"Come, ill give you a ride, i don't trust that you'll be smart enough to get there on your own"

"Im smart, i have the best grades in your class" casey argued cockily and alex rolled her eyes half heartedly

"Lets go novak, we don't have the whole night"

The ER wasn't very full, luckily for the pair- that genuinely looked out if place, alex with a beautiful evening dress and casey with a small party top- so the all ordeal hadn't taken long.

The redhead sobered up, alex made her drink as much water she could physically absorb, the redhead took each one of the cups with bravery even when she felt she might vomit. (She was also terrified of eye contact with the older woman)

"Cassandra novak"

The nurse called and casey got up.

She hated doctors and the thought of going in alone terrified her - she was obviously not going yo asked her professor to come in with her- and alex picked on that up pretty quickly so she got up as well.

Giving the younger woman an encouraging smile.

"As fast as we'll go in, the fest you'll be out of there"

Alex said confidently before walking towards the doctor's office.

Alex was right.

of course.

At the end of it, hours afterwards casey found herself asleep in alex's passenger sit, bandaged on her nose and hands - who apparently suffered a lot as well, and a few marvel band aids scattered on her knees.

She was a sight. Alex decided.

If you'd ask the older woman, she wouldn't admit it, but that evening was probably the first time she got to look at the other woman properly, and even with a fucked up bloody nose and scratched, she had to admit that cassandra novak was indeed a pretty woman.

She also got to see the younger woman in a different light,

They were obviously still very much in the professor student territory, but alex couldn't be apathetic to the younger woman distress and it showed.

She even held casey's hand for a few seconds as the doctor treated her nose.

Casey looked like she might faint by the gesture.

Alex never wanted to see casey in this state again.

She never wanted people to suffer, not including actual bad people, but this time it felt different.

Alex told herself that it's because cassandra novak was her favorite student, not that she'll ever admit that to anyone, and not because she looked vulnerable and she wanted to keep her safe from harm.

Casey was still passed out, and alex was overthinking as usual - And then they arrived to casey's apartment.

Alex tried not to wrinkle her nose when she looked around, she knew she had expensive taste, she could afford it even if she wasn't working, with her family's fortune, but she still found the area a bit alarming and she wasn't thrilled being there - or dropping casey's there.

(The neighborhood was okay, decent looking, alex was just being a spoiled brat.)

Thankfully for alex, casey woke up when the car stopped, because god save the older's woman anxiety, she had no idea how to wake casey up without making this a lot more awkward for both.

She already felt like she crossed a line when she held her hand in the ER.

"Thank you, honestly, it's embarrassing you had to see me going through that. Let along had to go through it with me, im sorry for ruining your.. um evening.. , and um, thanks again"

Casey was biting her lip awkwardly, cheeks red.

She looked cute.

Alex noticed casey's tone change slightly as she said evening, she was going to say something else, for certain.

Date.

Alex should text her date, apologize for hurrying off.

She would've probably be in a very different situation with a very different woman if casey wasn't there.

Sadly she couldn't get herself to be bothered by that as much as she probably should be.

"Im glad i was there, nothing to apologize for cassandra, i promise." The blonde said. She let herself smile at casey, not for the first time tonight, she found it a bit hard to hide and it was only the two of them, so they'll be alright.

Casey smiled brightly- then winced because her nose was kicking her ass, before she got out of the car.

"Good night, see you tomorrow"

"Don't come to class tomorrow, im giving you a pass, cassandra. Ill email you the homework, just use this long weekend to rest and take your antibiotics, good night"

Alex said before driving away.l

Casey smiled softly to herself.

--

Casey did went to class the day afterwards, and obviously a few classmates just had to share a joke or two (olivia fucking benson) but overall she managed.

It was all worth it when she saw alex looking at her, half surprised- half impressed, from behind her black glasses.

A while had passed since that evening and apart from people genuinely laughing at casey's clumsiness nothing interesting happened afterwards .

Of course, no one knew the length of the situation, they all just knew she was clumsy and fell and went to the ER afterwards and that was it.

But casey couldn't forget that, as drunk as she was,

Alex was clearly a good person, and casey was genuinely surprised by the reaction she received by the professor- who could still terrify a whole class with one gaze- and in a way it made her feel better, knowing she got to see that different side of alex.

She didn't felt much different in class after that.

The professor acted as professional as always, but still casey noticed she started to look at the older woman differently.

And she felt the same from the older woman as well.

She found alex impressing since pretty early in her academic career, but now she found herself drawn to the older woman on a different level.

She wanted to get closer to her, literally, to sit first row in class, to have a conversation with her outside of class, even if its just 5 minutes and about homework, and to actually get to know her.

She even started coming to class a few minutes early just to catch alex's raised eyebrow and a small smile.

She was the only one to get these reactions, and it made her happy.

Sometimes they even engage in a random small talk.

( "How was your weekend?"

"Pretty decent, yours?

Its seems you had an interesting one"

Casey had a few scratches on her face

"Fell from a tree"casey explains as if it made sense

"Okay then" alex would've chucked.

Other times;

"Do you like books?"

"About law?.."

"No, books in general"

"I do, read a lot of fantasy, have a soft sport for harry potter"

"Make sense"

casey still have no idea if it was a good reaction

Their most remarkable before class conversation was they day casey walked in angry, 15 minutes before anyone arrived.

She was pissed and genuinely exhausted and sat quietly in her sit, alex who got used to seeing casey's cheery- almost bubbly smile- was taken back by that.

"What happened?" The blonde asked, she barely even looked at casey, her nose stuck in files.

"Everything fine"

"You're a horrible liar, cassandra"

Fuck off

"I don't feel like talking about it"

"I wont pressure you into talking, but i think you should"

Casey's eyes filled up with tears and she bit her lip to hold herself from breaking down.

"Just a huge blowout with my father, that catholic asshole"

Alex got up from her sit, files forgotten, and set next to casey, tissues in hand.

She was absolutely certain she knew the nature of the other woman's outburst

Alex didn't press, just put her hand on casey's shoulder, squeezing it softly a few times for comfort.

Casey looked at alex, green eyes bloody and dull, alex hated that.

"He disowned me, basically, he found out i liked a woman and it didn't go well" she chuckled darkly.

"He didn't even let me know that, he just stone cold shut me out, my mom haven't contacted me as well, i learned about that from my sister"

"Im so sorry casey, you don't deserve this."

Alex called casey by her name and casey was so occupied with her frustration that she couldn't even be bothered about it.

No one deserves to be treated this way, regardless of their sexual preference or orientation, and alex felt so mad about that.

Alex was lucky, She knew, her parents were accepting when she came out to them.

Partly because they didn't have much choice, She was an only daughter- their legacy, And generally their biggest achievement (her mom's words, not hers)

Casey sniffled and used alex's tissue to get rid of the tears that managed to escape.

"I have nobody"

Im here. Aren't i?

"That's not true, you are loved Cassandra, by people that deserve having you in their lives"

Casey smiled at her softly

"I have a candy somewhere, i think sugar will do some good" alex said and got up.

Casey missed her comforting touch the moment the blonde broke it.

Maybe alex felt it too, because when she returned with a pack of gam she set next to casey again. And onto her hand in a comforting manner.

They stayed like these, talking quietly, until they heard the door open and burst their bubble)

At some point casey found herself genuinely attracted to the woman.

Both on an intellectual level and physically.

It wasn't even surprising to her, the blonde woman was always beautiful in her book, but after seeing the woman in a different light ( and also that fucking dress ) she couldn't shake the thought of the older woman in a different scenarios.

Some more appropriate than others.

A few more months had passed and Casey found herself at the last exams of the year, And also days before the last softball game of the season.

Casey was nervous, she was still the newest blood on the team, and she felt she had a lot to prove, especially to the seniors- who deserved to finished their college career as champions, so she found hers working herself off on both fields and on too of that a worked weekends.

unfortunately for casey she was only human and started to feel the impact of the unhealthy lifestyle she practiced.

Alex noticed all of that.

When casey walked into her morning class she looked like she might fall asleep at any single moment,

Surprisingly, casey managed to stay awake through the entire class - which was two hours long.

Every few minutes alex's eyes will subtly search for casey just to find her sitting upright, taking motes, dark circles under her eyes and pale looking.

When the class finished alex decided to take an approach.

She couldn't help it, really.

She was genuinely worried.

"Miss novak, a moment" alex said as everyone started to put their stuff away,

Casey was absolutely sure she hadn't spaced out during the lecture or forgot to submit some paper, yet she got a bit nervous.

Casey hated the fact the only time she got to see alex's different side was either in glimpses before class or in the fucking ER, she desperately wanted to actually spend time with the older woman and to have a real meaningful conversation with her

"Professor"

Casey said as she walked to the older woman.

The class was empty at this point.

Alex was wearing her hair down, like she did the night they went to the ER and it made casey smile softly, she looked flawless, really.

"How are you handling the stress?"

Alex asked kindly.

Casey didn't see that question coming

"Pardon?"

It was out before Casey's brain managed to comprehend what she was saying

Alex actually chuckled at that.

Not something drastic, but a chuckle nonetheless.

Casey chest felt warm.

"You're doing alright, with your exams? I've heard softball taking a lot of your energy as well"

Alex put her hand on casey's arm, casey decided this is her favorite thing alex did so far.

Especially because the older woman was known in being distant and cold towards most, yet her touch was soft and warm and made casey feel good.

"Yes, but i promise there's nothing to worry about, professor, I'm handling it"

Casey promised

She worked too hard to be where she was at and didn't want her favorite professor (and crush) to think she didn't care enough or put enough effort in her school work.

"I'm absolutely certain you do. I meant in general, I'm well aware there's a lot of stress on you"

Casey stared at alex surprised by her forwardness.

"You look exhausted, Cassandra, I'm a bit worried"

Casey smiled softly at Alex, and got a soft smile in return. Both women felt warm inside.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a bit behind on sleeping, but at least it's not in the material" she chuckled at her own horrible joke.

Alex squeezed casey's shoulder in encouragement

"You need to rest, its not healthy"

alex always knew this time of the year was stressful, And she saw how it affected students, hell, she was a professor for a while but she was a student as well once upon a time.

Even if she barely showed it, she cared for her students, and just maybe (Definitely), she cared for cassandra novak a little bit (a lot) more.

"I will sleep more, after the game this Friday." Casey promised with a smile.

"And eat"

Alex was absolutely certain the younger woman skipped a few meals, not purposely, but still.

Casey smiled widened, dimples and all.

"You really care" casey realized and alex blushed slightly . Cursing herself for it.

"I care for my students" alex explained and casey looked at her unconvinced

"Oh yes, you're known for this" casey joked

Alex raised her eyebrows knowingly, a mischievous smirk playing on painted lips.

"You should come to the game, i think you might enjoy it"

Alex was absolutely certain she would not- as a person who couldn't care less for sports.

"So i could take you the ER again if something go wrong?"

Only if you'd wear that dress again.

"Im good at softball"

"I once believed you'd be good in walking around the street as well, but look where we are"

Casey wholeheartedly laughed at that,

Their interaction was so easy, sometimes, and casey loved every bit of it.

It felt natural.

"Does that mean you'll be there?"

Alex smiled at Casey's hopeful tone.

"We'll see, miss novak, now go eat something and take a nap"

--

Alex did went to casey's game.

The woman never showed interest in sports in her life and even a few of the other professors who went were surprised to see her there.

When casey saw her from the field she smiled, dimples and all, and alex's heart clutched uncontrollably.

To say Casey looked good in uniform will be the biggest understatement of the century, in alex's book.

Casey was obviously very fit, she could see that even when the younger woman wore jeans or sweatpants and especially with the outfits she wore when they went to the ER - which alex had to stop herself from checking out multiple times,

But this time it was different,

casey was in her element, toned arms flexing every time they gripped on the bet, ginger hair pulled into a long braid and the pants (god bless the person who made softball uniform pants THAT TIGHT) hugging her ass perfectly.

alex believed she might get a aneurysm just from trying to act unfazed by the whole ordeal, luckily for her her train of thoughts got cut off by a family voice.

"Professor cabot"

Alex looked away from away from casey's ass to the general direction she heard the voice coming from.

"Miss benson, how are you?"

In class professor cabot was known as the cold hearted , scary professor, aka the ice queen, but outside she was still very much human, and at the end of the day, it wasn't something she tried to hide, she saw no reason in hiding the fact she was indeed not always a bitch.

But honestly, she liked that her students were a bit scared of her, it kept them motivated.

"Im okay, how about you?

I have to admit professor, i wouldn't have tagged you as a softball fan"

Alex noticed that when she spoke with casey it was easy, even if it wasn't related to class itself, it cane naturally, unfortunately for alex- olivia wasn't casey.

Professor cabot was known to be cold, alexandra cabot was known for being classy, alex was just a very awkward human being.

"I normally don't go but its the end of the season, thought it'll be nice" she answered politely.

The two woman who now stood side by side hadn't noticed casey watching them from the field, cheeks red and hands tightly gripping the bet.

The red head had no idea what they were talking about, and was obviously trying to keep her emotions at bay.

the logical part of her brain understood that alex had more students, but the other one just felt jealous.

Especially because alex and her weren't anything other than student and her professor.

Not really.

The game was over pretty quickly, to alex's surprise

The conversation with Olivia hadn't been long, and even while she politely spoke to the brunette she was still more interested in casey's game.

(And ass)

When they won, and they did, casey was delighted

Her cheeks red and green eyes sparkling with excitement , Her dimples (god, alex had a soft spot for those) showing in full force.

The team was ecstatic, all hugging and shouting and some even kissed, thankfully for alex, casey wasn't one of them, she wouldn't be able to watch her kiss someone.

More than 45 minutes after the game ended most people already left, not alex.

The blonde was standing in the middle of the field, her hands clutching on a varsity jacket with "novak" written on its back.

when casey was leaving the locker room (and searching for her jacket) she noticed the blonde and smiled widely.

Casey was dressed to impress, for sure, black skintight cocktail dress and high hills.

She was going to meet up with George and a few more friends to celebrate.

When the blonde noticed her as well she sent the older woman a wave and walked over to her.

"You're still here"

She tried to ignore the tingly feeling in her stomach when she cached alex's gaze on her.

"I guessed congratulations were in order, and also, you forgot this jacket in class today"

The two smiled at each other, both a bit unsure how to handle the conversation.

Casey took the jacket away from alex's grasp.

Their hands touching briefly.

"I'm happy to see you in one piece, cassandra"

Casey laughed

"Well thank you, i did tried my best"

After moment of silence casey decided to take a shot in the dark.

"I like it when you call me cassandra,

It sounds so much better than miss novak"

"I'll take that into account,

does it bothering you when i call you miss novak?"

"Well no, except every time you call me miss novak makes me feel like I'm being scolded in class"

Alex smirked at that.

Casey will never forget their first meeting, it seems.

"Alright then, cassandra.

in that case, You can call me alex, or alexandra - not in front of your classmates, of course"

Alex took herself by surprise by saying that.

Casey smiled "alex it is"

Alex's phone beeped and she rolled her eyes.

"I have to go, do you have a ride?" Alex asked- Secretly hoping to spend a few more minutes in casey's company.

"I do, my roommate is waiting for me somewhere, we're going to celebrate my victory"

Alex chuckled at that before putting her glasses back on.

"Give me your phone"

Casey gave her the phone with a puzzled expression.

Alex saved her own number in the redhead's contacts under "Alexandra" and pressed dial, to make sure she'll have casey's number as well.

"If you find yourself in a familiar situation as last time, call me, i prefer you don't walk around drunk"

Both knew it wasn't 'right' - it was dangerous territory.

If someone will know about it - even if nothing actually happens- alex integrity will be questioned and she might lose her job.

But alex trusted casey and damn her job, if something will happen to the red head when she could stop that she wont be able to live.

The fact alex knew that and still gave casey her number made casey's heart flutter.

"Thank you, Alex, goodnight" she said and alex smiled again before she turned around and left the field.

A few seconds after the professor left, casey still stood there with the biggest grin until George got to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You're ready to go?"

-

Later that night casey was indeed drunk

After some girl tried to kiss her, and another one asked for her number - she politely declined both- she got to conclusion that she's not interested in neither.

George asked her about it, but he had a feeling the woman was genuinely not interested in anyone- well other than her professor- and after seeing them together (when they weren't even aware of his presence) , he couldn't blame his roommate.

At this point in the evening both roommates and their friends were very drunk.

George was having a nice, half drunk, conversation with a guy in the corner- and casey who couldn't be in the heated space anymore went out for a smoke and checked her notifications,

Alexandra: Just making sure you're okay

(When alex sent it she was actually nervous but decided she wanted to remind casey she could talk to her if needed)

Its been 5 minutes since alex sent it and casey was impressed that the older woman was still awake.

Cassandra: Im okay, how about you?

Alex chuckled at the response , she was certain casey was drunk.

Alexandra: Im good, wanted to check on you.

No broken nose or anything?

Cassandra: no trip to the ER is needed.

Alexandra: good, it means you haven't tried walking around by yourself, i presume

Cassandra: excuse you, it was your fault i broke my nose in the first place

Alexandra: meaning?

Shut up casey, the sober part of her brain would've shout if it wasn't clouded by the amount of alcohol she drank

Before she typed a response her phone rang, the blonde's name flashing on the screen

"What does it mean?"

"Nothing" casey responded

"Casey!"

That was new, no cassandra and no miss novak.

Just alex calling her name in her serious tone.

"Why are you even awake? Alex"

Casey breathed, trying to change the subject

"You're trying to deflect" alex was annoyed

"Im not" casey lied

"Im a lawyer, cassandra, don't try to bullshit me"

Casey's breath stoped momentarily when she heard alex curse.

That was a lot more hotter than she expected.

"Pick me up?" She said and gave in to her drunk impulses.

"Send me the adress" alex said before hanging up

Casey went back inside to let her friends know she was leaving with a friend, not before she promised George to let him know she was home

When she got back outside she saw a familiar car, and got in, smiling at Alex.

"Thank you"

"No problem" the older woman said.

She was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt, her hair pulled into a messy bun and had no makeup on.

She looked beautiful , casey thought.

They started the drive in a pretty comfortable silence

"What did you meant, on the phone? How was it my fault you broke your nose?"

Casey took a deep breath.

Shit.

"I meant i was surprised to see you.. like that"

Alex couldn't figure out what casey meant by that even if she tried.

"Cassandra, what?"

"i meant dressed like you were and outside of class.. I thought you looked breathtaking"

Casey whispered and alex breath hitched.

"You're drunk"

"And you're beautiful"

they stopped talking for a few seconds, both stuck in their heads, before alex stopped the car, right outside casey's apartment.

"You cant say that , cassandra, I'm your professor" alex said, before casey would've slipped away from the car.

Casey put her hand on the older woman's cheek.

"Don't you think i know that alex?"

Casey's eyes began to water, she didn't know how to handle the rejection

"I think you're beautiful too"

Alex admitted sadly, painfully even.

She couldn't handle seeing casey, who was normally so confident, reaction.

Especially because alex felt the same way.

They were screwed.

Casey looked at her with farrowed eyes,

"Please don't lie to make me feel better, its just making me feel worse"

Casey bagged

"I don't" alex admitted "you're breathtaking Cassandra, especially in that goddamn dress"

And that was it,

Casey's lips were on alex's.

And as much as alex's logical part of the brain tried to push everything she felt back, it was useless.

She was far gone.

After months of holding back, painful chemistry and effort to keep herself from catching unprofessional feelings, that was it.

The kiss was desperate,

Casey's lips tasted like cheap tequila and pizza, alex's tasted like toothpaste.

Alex's hands tangled in casey's hair, while casey pulled the older woman as close as she could.

"I wanted to do that for so long" casey murmured as they broke apart. Noses inches away from each other.

"I know. So did i" alex admitted, to both herself and casey. "But you know we cant do that, I'm your teacher" she continued and casey pulled her in again.

Alex kissed back instantly

"Im almost 25, a consenting adult, and i fucking want this. No one has to know, i know you want me too, i can feel it"

Alex took off the younger woman's sit belt , and then her own before Casey climbed over the space between them and sat on her lap.

The blonde's hand instantly moved to casey's ass while casey's found themselves wrapped around alex's neck.

Tongues battling for dominance - alex won.

"Come inside" casey said between kisses,

She felt her whole body warming up with anticipation.

"We cant Cassandra, You're drunk" alex said and pulled away painfully.

Her hands climbing up from the redhead's ass to her hair, and cheeks.

"I sobered up" casey argued and alex laughed.

"I want to believe you, but i cant. if we're doing this, we need to do this properly"

Casey groaned before burying her face in alex's neck, kissing her shoulder blade.

Alex sighed softly and casey felt herself getting worked up by the sound alone

"You sure about the waiting part?" Casey whispered as she trailed kisses on the older woman's neck.

Sucking on her pulse point.

Alex's hand pulled casey's hair, by accident, Casey's reaction to it was a small moan and alex had to stop herself from getting the younger girl right there on the steering wheel.

"You should go to bed Cassandra, sleep the alcohol off" alex said and pulled casey from her neck.

It took every ounce of self restraint from her to do so.

"I don't want this to end" casey admitted and looked into alex's blue- who looked at her warmly, a sight she will cherish for the rest of her life.

"Its not a real goodbye, its just for a few hours, i promise"

Alex said and kissed casey's cheek

"You promise?"

"I do"

[theartofcollapse]

hey idk if this crosses a line with anything but maybe an olivia imagine where the reader got spiked while at a bar and called olivia when she realized something felt wrong and liv shows up and takes her home and kind of just takes care of her

a/n: thank you for requesting! summary: read it above pairing: Olivia Benson x female reader warnings: mention of drugs, vomiting word count: 1.7K

masterlist

Safe – Olivia Benson

The bar buzzed with energy as patrons crowded around tables, clinking glasses and laughing over the pounding music. You had come here to unwind after a long week, convinced by a coworker that a night out would help clear your head. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

The first drink went down fine, just a light buzz to loosen the tension in your shoulders. But the second drink? That’s when you noticed something wasn’t right.

The world around you blurred, and your limbs felt heavy. Your head swam, thoughts sluggish and disconnected. You leaned against the bar for balance, your hand fumbling for your phone in your bag. Panic rose in your chest. You hadn’t had that much to drink.

You scrolled through your contacts, your fingers trembling as you found Olivia’s name. You hadn’t known her for long, just a few weeks, but there was something about her calm presence, her unwavering sense of justice, that made you feel safe.

The phone rang twice before she picked up.

“Y/N?” Her voice was steady but tinged with concern.

“Olivia,” you slurred, your words heavy on your tongue. “Something’s wrong. I.. I think someone put something in my drink.”

There was a pause, sharp and deliberate. “Where are you?”

You rattled off the name of the bar as best as you could, clinging to the edge of the counter.

“Stay right there,” Olivia said, her voice firm and reassuring. “I’m on my way. Don’t move, and don’t let anyone near you.”

You clung to those words like a lifeline, your vision growing hazier by the second.

The blur of neon lights and muffled sounds began to sharpen as Olivia entered the bar. She scanned the room with practiced precision, her eyes landing on you slumped at the counter. Her jaw tightened, and she moved through the crowd with purpose.

“Y/N,” she said softly, crouching beside you. She placed a steadying hand on your arm. “It’s me. I’ve got you.”

You blinked up at her, relief flooding through you. “Olivia…”

Her hand brushed your hair back from your face. “I’m here. You’re going to be okay.”

Standing, Olivia’s sharp gaze swept the room. It didn’t take long for her to spot a man lingering a few seats away, watching you with a nervous, guilty expression.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she pulled out her phone, stepping just far enough away to call Elliot.

“Elliot,” she said, her voice low but firm. “I need you at the Silver Moon Bar. Now. There’s a suspect I need picked up, possible drugging.”

Elliot didn’t hesitate. “I’m on my way.”

Olivia returned to your side, placing a protective arm around your shoulders. “We’re going to get you out of here,” she said, guiding you gently to your feet.

The man tried to slink away, but Olivia’s sharp command stopped him in his tracks. “Don’t even think about it.”

Her presence alone was enough to keep him rooted in place until Elliot arrived, his arrival swift and professional as he handcuffed the man and read him his rights.

The drive to Olivia’s apartment was quiet, her car filled with the soft hum of the heater. 

Once inside her apartment, Olivia guided you to the couch, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders.

“Do you want some water? Tea?” she asked, her voice gentle.

“Water, please,” you murmured, your throat dry.

She disappeared into the kitchen and returned moments later with a glass of water and a cool cloth, which she placed lightly on your forehead.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I didn’t know who else to call.”

Olivia knelt in front of you, her warm brown eyes meeting yours. “Hey,” she said softly, her hand resting lightly on your knee. “You did the right thing. You called me, and I’m glad you did.”

Tears welled in your eyes, the overwhelming fear and vulnerability of the night finally catching up to you. Olivia didn’t hesitate, pulling you into a firm but gentle embrace.

“You’re safe now,” she murmured, her voice steady and comforting. “I promise.”

Olivia’s grip tightened ever so slightly as she felt you shudder in her arms. You pulled back abruptly, your body lurching with nausea.

“Bathroom - ” you managed to choke out before clapping a hand over your mouth.

Olivia was on her feet instantly, guiding you down the hall to her bathroom. She helped you kneel in front of the toilet just as the wave of nausea overtook you. You vomited, your stomach twisting violently, and tears streamed down your face from the strain.

“Shh, I’ve got you,” Olivia murmured from behind you. She knelt beside you, her hand holding your hair back while her other gently rubbed circles on your back.

Once the worst of it was over, you sagged against the side of the tub, trembling. Sweat beaded on your forehead, and you were suddenly aware of how cold you felt despite your overheated skin.

“I’m so sorry,” you whispered, your voice weak and shaky.

Olivia grabbed a washcloth, running it under cool water before gently pressing it to your clammy face. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault,” she said firmly, her voice carrying that steady authority that made you feel safe.

The bathroom felt too bright, too small, and the nausea lingered, though not as violently as before. You curled in on yourself, shivering despite the sweat that clung to your skin.

“You’re freezing,” Olivia noted, worry flickering across her face. She grabbed a blanket she’d left on the couch earlier and draped it over your shoulders. “Let’s get you out of here. You’ll feel better lying down.”

You nodded faintly, letting her help you to your feet. Your legs felt like jelly, and she practically carried you down the hall to her bedroom.

“I don’t want to ruin your bed,” you protested weakly, clutching at the blanket.

“Y/N, don’t worry about that,” Olivia said softly, but her tone left no room for argument. She helped you onto the bed, tucking the covers around you snugly.

“Stay here,” she instructed, brushing the hair from your face again. “I’m going to grab some water and a bucket, just in case.”

You nodded, your teeth chattering now. The cold seeped deep into your bones, and you couldn’t stop trembling.

Olivia returned quickly, setting a glass of water and a bucket by the bedside. She sat down beside you, her eyes scanning your pale face.

“You’re still sweating,” she noted, reaching out to feel your forehead. “And you’re burning up. You might need a doctor, Y/N.”

“No,” you croaked, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep it off.”

Olivia frowned, clearly unconvinced, but she didn’t push. Instead, she reached for your hand, her touch grounding and reassuring. “Alright,” she said softly. “But if it gets worse, we’re going. No arguments.”

“Okay,” you murmured, your eyelids fluttering shut.

As the hours ticked by, the symptoms ebbed and flowed. Every time you stirred - whether it was to sip water, wipe away sweat, or lean over the bucket - Olivia was there. She stayed by your side, her unwavering presence a balm to the storm raging inside you.

By the time the first rays of dawn crept through the window, the worst of it had passed. You were still weak, your body aching and your throat raw, but the cold sweats had subsided, and your nausea was manageable.

“Thank you,” you whispered hoarsely, looking up at Olivia, who sat in the chair beside the bed, her hand resting on yours.

She gave you a small, tired smile. “You don’t have to thank me. You’re safe now, and that’s all that matters.”

Safe. That word lingered in your mind as you drifted off again. 

When you woke again, sunlight was spilling through the windows, and Olivia was still in the chair beside you. She had her phone in one hand, her other resting casually on your arm. The faint lines of worry etched on her face softened when she noticed your eyes fluttering open.

“Hey,” she greeted gently, leaning forward. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a truck,” you croaked, your throat dry and voice hoarse. Then you managed a faint smile, despite everything. “This isn’t exactly how I imagined our next date going.”

Olivia’s lips curved into a small smile, though concern still lingered in her eyes. “Yeah, I don’t usually plan for my dates to include throwing up and police intervention.”

You let out a weak laugh, even though it hurt. “It’s a bold strategy,” you teased. “Really sets the tone for a relationship. How many people do you bring home after arresting someone for them?”

“Only the ones who know how to keep me on my toes,” she shot back smoothly, the glimmer of amusement in her eyes breaking through her worry.

You grinned, though it didn’t quite hide your embarrassment. “I mean, most people wait until, like, date ten before they start sweating through someone else’s sheets and crying in their bathroom. I just like to skip straight to the memorable parts.”

Olivia chuckled softly, shaking her head. “For the record, this isn’t the worst date I’ve been on. But it’s definitely one of the more dramatic.”

You groaned, covering your face with one hand. “Oh, God. Worst impression ever. I’m supposed to be charming and cool, not… this.”

She leaned closer, her hand gently brushing yours away from your face so she could look at you. “Hey,” she said softly, her voice grounding you again. “You don’t need to be charming or cool right now. What happened wasn’t your fault. And if this is your worst impression, you’re doing pretty well.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the warmth that blossomed in your chest at her words. “You’re really good at this whole ‘making someone feel safe’ thing, you know that?”

Her expression softened, her hand lingering on yours. “I try. And, for the record, I think you’re handling this a lot better than most people would.”

You sighed, settling back into the pillows. “Well, if I didn’t scare you off last night, I guess I’m doing okay.”

Olivia smirked, her eyes twinkling with affection. “It’s going to take a lot more than one rough night to scare me off, Y/N.”