#case in point. round rabbit who has 6 arms.

[misterradio]

mixed reception for tsukiusa-yin on a whiteboard hosted through ponytown

[whirlybirbs]

         (  chapter 6′s gif by @buckysbarnes​​ from this lovely set !  )

✪   —   VACANT MIRRORS  ;  B.B.  |  6/?

summary: gunshot wounds, panic attacks, and evil next door neighbors.

pairing: bucky barnes / f!reader

tags: set before & during tfatws, friends to lovers, therapy positive, trauma healing techniques, ptsd mentions, the normalization of anxiety disorders, and a good ol’ slow burn

word count: 5.3k, a filler before the real sexual tension.

a/n: be warned, this chapter has a diy medical procedure where bucky removes the slug from rabbit’s shoulder. it’s nothing too graphic, but keep that in mind! also, i wanted to say thank you to everyone who has rec’d, reblogged, commented, kudos, liked, looked at this fic. the response to every chapter has been so overwhelmingly kind and i’m so thankful that i have the oppurtunity to share this fic with you all. that being said, i broke this chapter up. next week has some spice. ;-)

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Bucky wakes up with a headache that feels like someone’s tapped an icepick between his eyes. A fire-bright burn radiates under his ribs.

It’s a slow creep back to reality — he just lays there and stares at the peeling wallpaper that meets the corner of the ceiling for a while, knowing deep in the back of his muddled, confused thoughts that he most likely has a nasty concussion, maybe a few broken ribs.

How? Hm. Fighting. Music? The club.

Rabbit.

He sits up fast and Bucky’s blue eyes struggle to adjust in the low-light of the scarcely furnished apartment. The searing pang of his headache is enough to make his stomach churn, but he’s had worse. So much worse. This is manageable. So, he swallows down the nausea and looks around the room like a wounded animal — and almost immediately, relief greets him at the sight of you in the armchair across from the couch.

Your hair is a mess, falling from it’s previous style that you’d proudly worn to The Glass Cannon. Your lipstick is smeared, there’s glitter on your cheeks, and your make-up has transitioned from starlet beauty to broken-hearted bombshell. Bucky notices, with a bit of dismay, that you’re even missing an earring. There’s a nasty bruise forming along the peak of your cheekbone and a gash there from when Alexei had cracked you across the face with the pistol — and even despite all this, Bucky can feel his heart clench at the sight of you. A good clench. The sort that makes his heart kick into a stutter step.

You look… well, you look like someone who’d had the shit choked out of them and then was shot.

Shot.

Your jacket, punched clean through with the single bullet hole, is hanging over the back of the chair and there’s gauze taped to your shoulder. You’re leaning your good cheek in your hand, attention turned totally to Bucky, where you’ve fallen asleep. From here, you’re a picture of exhaustion.

Anxiety flashes in his heart and he swings his legs over the edge of the couch.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his shoulder.

“Take it easy.”

It’s the woman from before, Kiwi, and she’s got an ice pack in her hands. It’s wrapped in a ratty, green dish towel, and she hands it off to Bucky with a pitiful little look. Rounding the couch, Bucky finally gets a better look at her.

She’s older than you, maybe by a handful of years, but sharp and beautiful nonetheless. Her hair is dark as night and the tips are drenched in a lime colored dye. Her eyes are dark, too, ringed by kohl and glitter, and Bucky wonders if he’s ever seen her before.

“You heal quick,” she says quietly as she plops down into the chair across the room. On a makeshift desk, there’s a laptop, “Care to explain how you know our dear friend Rabbit here?”

Bucky shifts uncomfortably. Again, his eyes fall on your sleeping form.

He maneuvers the ice pack in his hands, then gently presses it to his ribs. He melts a bit, ignoring the evident tears in the silk shirt. He feels bad — he’d busted some of the seams in the midst of the brutal scuffle and it seems like this artifact of Jaimie’s was most likely beyond salvation.

His dog tags jingle against his chest.

“Therapy,” Bucky croaks, “We, uh, we met in therapy.”

A new voice comes into the picture now, one that’s muffled by a mouthful of food.

“That’s cute.”

It’s the other one, Climber. He’s traded in his all-black, all-polyurethane outfit for an expensive looking t-shirt. Without the strobes, without the tunnel vision, Bucky can now see the intricate buzz cut that sits beneath the mountain of blue curls on his head. There are patterns buzzed into his tight-shave. He’s got a smile, too, the glimmers a little too artificially. Bucky spies crystals inset on his incisors between bites of what looks like a bowl of cereal with no milk. Spoon and all.

“I don’t think we’ve properly met,” Climber says as he plops down next to Bucky on the couch, “What’d you say your name was?”

A hand is jutted his way. Bucky blinks. He shakes it with his vibranium hand.

“I’m Bucky.”

“Well, I’m gay and you’re gorgeous,” he says candidly, giving it a good shake, “So, if that’s of any interest—”

“Can you please shut up, Climber?” comes an irritated rasp from you in your armchair. Bucky turns to watch as you raise your head and rub your eyes, “Christ, I just fell asleep.”

“And your little supersoldier just woke up,” Kiwi chirps from her preoccupation with the laptop and contents on it, “So why don’t you stop being a little baby and let him look at that gunshot wound.”

Bucky’s face falls flat. He drops the ice pack to the coffee table with a thwunk.

You sit up, gingerly trying to maneuver yourself so as to not bother both your ribs and your shoulder. It takes a moment, but finally you’re sitting up with only a dull ache of pain throbbing beneath your skin. Now, the real sting comes from the bitter look Bucky has pinned you with.

“You haven’t cleaned it yet?”

“The shits in the kitchen,” Kiwi waves at Bucky, as if to say told you so, “She fuckin’ refused to let me take care of it.”

“You’re going to get an infection if it stays in you any longer,” he snaps, standing to his feet, “Get up.”

“Kiwi isn’t exactly the most gentle person I know,” you manage to supply as an excuse as you move through the room, “And I know that thing isn’t coming out without a fight.”

He can feel the grey hairs coming in already.

You stand slowly, and Bucky looms behind you as you weave into the small apartment’s kitchen.

It’s barely lived in, but a few years ago it most definitely had life. Now, it’s mostly abandoned save for a few necessities. Kiwi had told you, a long time ago, about this spot — it was her parent’s place before the Snap. After the Blip, they ended up moving back to Massachusetts. Now abandoned by anyone seeking to really live in the one bedroom, it sits collecting dust until Kiwi inevitably needs it.

Like now.

“Up on the counter.”

You wince at his tone, but still thankful to be away from Kiwi and Climber’s prying eyes.

For the entire time Bucky had been out, you’d been subjected to a myriad of questions — all were fair, really, since Bucky did just bust out the Avenger-level super-moves on some Russian mafiosos for your sake, vibranium arm and all. The arm was really the biggest stuck point in the conversation as you tried your best to explain the nature of your relationship with the unconscious supersoldier on the couch. It was met with plenty of looks, both curious and skeptical.

You’re slow to hop up on the dusty marble countertop. From there, you watch Bucky poke through the kit that Kiwi had pulled from under the sink.

Then, with the calculated process of a man who has pulled one too many bullets from himself, Bucky slams the kit shut and wanders into the bathroom.

He returns with a pair of large tweezers. He’s silent as the dead as he rummages for a pan, fills it with water, and sets the gas burner on. He stares, watching the pot boil, as his foot taps against the floor.

You swallow down any comments.

There’s a clean towel beside you, and Bucky casually reached into the boiling water with his vibranium hand to retrieve the tweezers — whether or not he purposely ignored the pain is lost on you. You’re too busy anxiously spiraling into silence.

(He’s trying to ground himself, to feel something other than panic. It’s a mild spike, but it’s still panic. Because you’re hurt. Because you still have a fucking casing lodged in your shoulder and he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you. Ever. Because he saw it happen and then it was black, and now that anxiousness is creeping in.)

Rubbing alcohol, tweezers, gauze, tape, and… Jack Daniel’s.

It’s from the top of the fridge. It’s got a layer of dust on it — and it’s unopened.

Bucky unceremoniously pops the cap and hands the open bottle to you.

You take it and pause.

Bucky’s gaze is cold.

“You’re gonna want to take a few swigs, Doll.”

You almost snarl. You take a long drink then, ignoring the burn of the whiskey down your throat. It’s only when you’ve had enough to nearly gag that you hand the bottle back and then hiss:

“Don’t call me Doll.”

He takes the bottle and unceremoniously slams it down on the counter.

His movements are rough as he washes his hands — and if Bucky was a better person, maybe he’d take a second and parse through why he was feeling so damn irritable. But, no, no, he could figure out that he was angry at himself and you and Alexei Gardzov and Innessa Sidrova and fucking… everyone because he can’t have any normal relationships in his life without there being bloodshed or pain or suffering. That was enough, and he didn’t want to dig deeper into the nipping fear of losing you, not now, not when he had a job to do—

You suck in a sharp breath when his fingers brush your collarbone. He gently moves the delicate strap of your bodysuit, ignoring the soft skin beneath, and pulls the gauze away from your shoulder.

Your jacket had taken most of the impact it seems. Bucky frowns deeply at the pink fibers clinging to the entry wound. It’s a nasty puckered bit of flesh, smeared with blood, right in the soft muscle of your left shoulder. The hole is a little smaller than a quarter — Bucky recognizes it as shot from a 9mm almost immediately. He’s taken a few of these in his days. He’s glad it wasn’t close range. The burns from the muzzle flash make for nasty scars. He’d know. He has one on his back, right above his hip.

Bucky’s jaw is tight. He’s gritting his back teeth. His headache throbs angrily behind his eyes.

Bucky leans, eyeing the wound carefully. His limited reaction is enough to spark a little light of bravery in your gut, and you move to look at the hole — only to find a vibranium hand rooting your jaw in place. It’s gentle enough as it recorrects the line of your gaze straight ahead. His thumb rests on the curve of your chin as his index climbs your jaw, and the vibranium is warm and cold all at once. It’s an odd sensation. Not bad, but not flesh.

You like it.

(You find your mind quickly flashing with the thought of what that hand would feel like in other places. You ignore it.)

Your eyes are stuck on Bucky.

He’s clearly upset — the pinch between his brows and the evident scowl on his lips is enough of an indication. The bridge of his nose is busted and there’s a bruise crawling under his left eye. The shirt you’d given him is a wreck, and as he bends to snatch up a rubbing alcohol soaked pad, the feeling of shame creeps up on you. The anxiousness that’s settled in the pit of your stomach doesn’t help.

Arguably, it exacerbates the symptom.

The whiskey is slow to make an impact.

But, when Bucky finally swipes the gauze across the wound, your ankles have begun to tingle and it isn’t blinding white pain you feel — not yet. It’s sharp and it feels like he’s touching your shoulder blade when he presses his fingers into the holes to clean the immediate area. That has you grimacing tightly.

His obsidian-hued hand holds your face still through it.

So, you opt to stare.

His arm reminds you of some pottery you’d seen back at the Museum of Modern Art once, on a school trip. In a dimly lit room, spotlights lit up a row of vases that had been gilded back together with gold-dusted sap. You’d sat there for nearly an hour, staring at those things. You can’t remember the name now, not while Bucky does one more pass across the wound. It started with a ‘k’. It was beautiful. You loved that exhibit. Why can’t you — fuck — remember the name? Kinsi… kinsigumi? Gumi. Kintsi —

You grit your teeth and grip the counter tightly. He pauses. You exhale.

You inhale.

Kintsugi.

The seams of his arm remind you of Kintsugi.

It’s beautiful.

Bucky’s eyes flit to yours. He sees your stare.

Maybe it’s the pain, or the half-cocked daze, but the look in your eyes is enough to spur an immediate reaction. Bucky scowls. He yanks his hand back, retreating to the supplies on the counter. He’s pulled, hard and fast, and now he seems miles away.

Quietly, and with a bit more chill than he intended, he speaks. “If it was making you nervous, you should have said something.”

It.

Your head snaps to him.

“What?” you ask, nearly incredulously.

He’s silent. He has the tweezers in his hand now.

Your eyes narrow critically — and instead of shame and anxiety, it’s hurt that flies off your tongue. It’s drenched in enough pain that Bucky hears it in the waver of your voice.

“You think I’m afraid of you?”

It’s nearly a whisper.

He swallows.

He ignores it. He has to. He doesn’t want to know the answer. Either way that conversation goes is enough to drag him into territory he can’t handle right now. Not when he needs to do this without his hands shaking.

“This is going to hurt.”

Your mouth is open — be it shock or anger, he’s not sure. Bucky, however, makes a point of ignoring your expression and your reaction by handing over the whiskey once more. You snatch it from his hands quickly. There’s a look on your face that makes his chest ache. With one last pass over him with your eyes, you take a long swig.

You feel like crying.

You won’t, though. Not now. Not while he does this.

You deserve this.

And holy fucking hell does it hurt. It’s like someone’s taken a hot poker and punctured your skin, then rotated it around and around and around. You can feel every time the tweezers touch the bullet because the metallic little click echoes in your chest. It’s enough to make your head spin, and you grit your teeth and close your eyes and try to breathe — but even after a handful of minutes, when Bucky finally retrieves the slug, there’s no relief. Just a desperate throb.

Your hands are shaking when you reach for the whiskey once more.

You do cry, finally, when Bucky packs the hole.

He rolls the gauze up tightly into a cylinder and, as gently as he can, pushes it in.

It’s a horrible choke of pain that you smother into your palm and pant through. It reminds you to breathe, and while you stare up at the water damage on the kitchen ceiling, Bucky tapes a square piece of gauze over the bruised wound and wraps your shoulder tightly. He takes his time, but there’s a curtness to his actions.

Finally, when he begins to clean up the mess of bloodied gauze, you speak.

“If you’re mad at me, then just say it.”

He snaps almost immediately, like a kicked dog. “And say what, Rabbit? That I almost lost you?”

Your mouth slips shut.

Bucky pauses what he’s doing. He drops the gauze onto the towel and he bares both hands against the counter top. He leans and exhales and drops his own head back — then, you can see his own waves of anxiety knocking him against the shore of composure. His eyes move back and forth, he inhales, and then after a long while he speaks.

It’s calmer. Not so horribly mean.

“You should have told me about Alexei.”

You go to speak — but he stops you.

“I mean really, really told me,” he explains, “Had I known he wanted your fucking head mounted on a spike, I would have kept you far away from that place.”

“We had to—”

“No,” he says sternly, standing up full height, “No, we didn’t. We never have to do anything that’s going to put you in danger. Never. I won’t do it again. You should have fuckin’ told me.”

You’re quiet.

“A few more inches to the right,” he says, gesturing to your throat with his finger. His eyes are expressive and he’s speaking like he’s lived this experience, “You’d be dead. Cold and dead and I’d be here, carrying the fucking guilt around with me because I wouldn’t have been able to do anything.”

His voice splinters at the end — but he’s moved to throw away the gauze and dump the tweezers in the sink. He can’t look at you as he says it, and you know that. Because, just like before, people like you and him have a hard time looking the truth in the eyes.

You slide off the counter.

Your heart is sad. It’s heavy and mournful and weighed down with guilt.

“Bucky.”

It’s soft. He’s scrubbing your blood from his hands.

He doesn’t turn around. He can’t. He can feel the prick of an anxious breakdown beginning to climb into his eyes. Instead, he scrubs and scrubs and scrubs and your blood is stuck in the plating of his hand and it’s not going to come out—

Think of what could have happened if it had been a few inches to the right. The arched spray. Blood everywhere. She can’t speak through the gargle, she’s going cold, she’s gone. And, like always, you’re alone again, Bucky.

Then, your hands are on his.

The touch is enough to stop him. It’s enough for him to move aside at the large, inset kitchen sink. You exhale slowly as you run the water a little warmer and gingerly run his hands under the tap. Your hands are smaller than his, a bit more delicate, and he’s stunned into a sharp silence at the feeling of your fingertips gently washing away the crimson blood.

You grab another dish towel from a drawer beside the stove.

Then, in the dim light of the kitchen, you take both his hands and dry them.

It’s the vibranium hand that you pay special attention to, though. And Bucky feels like a fucking idiot — just standing there, just watching as you run the rag between the gilded plating and use gentle pressure to get into the harder to reach spots. You turn it over, and you dry his knuckles.

You take your time.

You don’t look up when you speak. You’re focused. Almost reverent.

He doesn’t deserve this.

“I’m not afraid of you,” you say sternly.

His mouth is dry. “Rabbit…”

Bucky shifts on his feet and takes a deep inhale. He feels lightheaded.

The whiskey, and the closeness of the two of you, makes your skin warm. His whole nervous system feels like it’s on fire.

“I didn’t mean to stare, I don’t ever mean to,” you apologize as your hands still over his arm. He watches your irises trace the plating above his wrist. The rag is forgotten, its purpose null. Your words are heavy, and Bucky can hear a little shake in them as you swallow, “I just… think it’s beautiful.”

You’re beautiful.

Even now, blood-soaked and sweat-stained. With makeup running down your cheeks and your composure in shambles. Even now, on the run and apparently wanted, you’re incredibly beautiful. Bucky hates how easy it is to admit and how hard it is to keep off his tongue. It nearly gets the better of him. He watches your eyelashes flutter. When you look up at him, the world is suddenly drowned in honey.

“I’m sorry.”

You mean it.

Your bottom lip wobbles.

Bucky, immediately, regrets being so goddamn cold.

You were just trying to help — you were just trying to do the right thing.

“Stop it. Come here.”

The hug is the first time you can remember touching him like this. You think you’ll always remember it, too. It’s sturdy and warm and gentle and honest and you bury your face into the shoulder as his arms come up around your neck. He’s careful of your own injured shoulder, and his fingers find the base of your neck. Around his waist, your fingers dig into the back of his shirt. Both of you ground yourselves in the other’s arms, and for the first time in a handful of hours, you both find peace.

Quiet, sturdy, lovely peace.

And the two of you stay like that for a while in the quiet little kitchen.

It’s not until Climber’s voice rises from the living room that you’re pulled away from Bucky — and even then, your face linger inches from one another for a moment too long. Neither of you say a word, only swallow down confessions that could have been, and move on.

“Oh, girlie, you’re gonna wanna see this.”

Bucky frowns. With your brows knotted tightly together, you weave through the kitchen and back into the living room.

Kiwi has sat up and both her and Climber have their eyes on the bulky flat screen on the dust-covered entertainment center. It’s cable news, and as Climber leans to turn the television up, a picture of you flashes across the screen.

It’s a photo from your arrest six months ago.

“Local authorities are asking that anyone with information on the whereabouts of this young woman call the FBI’s anonymous tip line—”

“Is there a reward?” Climber whispers almost excitedly, eyes on the screen.

“—Authorities are offering $100,000 dollars to the person who provides enough information to lead up to this dangerous fugitive’s capture.”

“Dangerous fugitive?” hisses Bucky.

“A hundred thousand dollars?” cries Kiwi, “Who the fuck did you piss off?”

You inhale deeply as you wave your hands. “The bigger question is who the fuck knew I was going to The Glass Cannon last night. Because they’re looking for me — not you.”

You point at Bucky and the gears are turning in your head.

The pacing is almost immediate, and Bucky crosses his arms tightly as you begin to walk back and forth behind the full length couch that Climber is currently spread out on.

It’s cut short, though, by Kiwi’s laptop chiming successfully.

“Well,” she stands quickly, “I have a feeling that someone knows you’re onto them. And the facial recognition software just got a match. A three point one, too.”

Your eyes brighten.

You’d given Kiwi the photo of the young Innessa, with all her decorated furs and blonde curls. She’s laughing and she’s young and she’s in love and it’s hard for you to imagine a woman like her to be dangerous. While you’d made sure Bucky was propped up comfortably on the couch and then finally calmed down from the adrenaline high enough to get comfortable yourself, Kiwi had dug out the hard-drive she kept on her at all times and began pulling data from the Alexandria Library files.

It had been a handful of hours, so it was clear that Innessa had hid herself well in the vast, expansive database SHIELD kept for all those years while it was in operation.

Bucky is quick to gather behind Kiwi, eyes scanning the screen.

Sure enough, when you come to look at the photos pulled up on Kiwi’s screen, there’s a hit. There’s an identification card photo of an older woman, maybe in her forties, pulled up alongside the photo Bucky had given you. Her hair is no longer blonde, but deep auburn color. She’s marked as having worked with Rumlow — a supervisor of some sort. Makes sense. You didn’t need to see a picture of Crossbones to remember Brock. Even when you’d interned, he’d been infamous.

And that was when he was one of the good guys.

There’s a handful of other photos of her — candids, professional photos, and even one where she is shaking Tony Stark’s hand.

And in all of them, you see your next door neighbor Bonnie McLayne.

“Fuck.”

Bucky blinks. Kiwi turns to look at you over her shoulder.

Again, you speak. Your eyes are wide. You can’t look away from the screen.

“Fuck, fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“Rabbit…?”

“Fuck.”

Bucky’s face narrows considerably, confusion melting to make room for realization.

His voice is quiet.

“Do you know her?”

“Oh my god,” you say loudly, shaking your head and blinking, “Oh my fucking god, that’s my neighbor.”

Bucky can feel his whole face go clammy.

“The neighbor who—”

“—Who I showed your fucking picture to,” you nearly shriek, “Like it was some cute little matchmaking game!”

Immediately both hands are over your face as you throw your head back. Now, the pacing has begun, and like you’re being carried on autopilot, you begin to move back and forth and back and forth and—

“You don’t think she’d hurt Poke, do you?”

“Rabbit.”

“Oh god, oh god—”

Oh.

Oh, you’re having a panic attack.

Oh, that was quick. Brutally fast. Nearly immediate.

After all, she knows where your family lives. She gets Holiday cards from mom to give to you. She’s been your closest friend for nearly six years. But she’s not Bonnie, she’s Innessa fucking Sidrova. She’s seen you with Bucky. She knows — she knows a lot and you don’t know anything and you’re miles from home, from Poke, from Mom, from Ana… Oh, god, the baby. The baby.

“The baby.”

Bucky’s voice is level. “Rabbit, you gotta calm down.”

“I have to call my mom.”

“No,” Kiwi snaps immediately, “They’re going to be watching for your cell phone pings. No calls, no texting, none of it. And god forbid this woman is one step ahead of the FBI—”

“Oh, god.”

You gasp like a fish out of water, paralyzing fear sending you to lean against the back of the couch.

You claw at your chest and try to remember what Dr. Hart said about these sorts of moments. Square breathing. In and hold and out and hold. Again and again.  

“Sit down,” Bucky says as he returns to your side, nearly sweeping you up long enough to plop you down into the armchair from before, “And do me a favor and breathe.”

The whiskey isn’t helping right now.

“I’m trying.”

Another gasped breath.

Climber and Kiwi watch.

Bucky shakes his head sternly, kneeling on one knee and snagging your hands. “Don’t try. Just do it. You can do it. Just follow my lead — you’re the sidekick, after all. Remember? C’mon. There’s the smile. Breathe.”

So you do.

In, hold. Out, hold. You draw a square with one hand on your jeans and hold onto Bucky’s with the other.

Again, in and hold. Out and hold.

And again.

And then, you just listen to Bucky’s breathing.

You’re not sure how long it takes — half an hour, ten minutes, who knows — but finally you’re able to calm the spiraling thoughts in your head. Finally, the loudness quiets down, you catch your breath, and the world isn’t falling apart. The bite of anxiety still remains in the hollow of your chest and Bucky can see that when you finally open your eyes and squeeze his hand.

There’s that look again between the two of you. The one from before, in the kitchen.

“Good?” he asks quietly, blue eyes swimming with some sort of emotion you can’t really pin down. Not now. Maybe, if you’d been a bit more collected, you would have seen it as infatuation. But, no. It’s just… nice.

You swallow and nod.

“Damn, girl,” says Climber from his spot on the couch, “Now I’m starting to get the whole therapy thing.”

“Thanks, dickhead.”

“That’s recent, isn’t it?” he asks, genuine worry crossing his face as he stands to gently pass a hand over your back, “I don’t remember it ever being this bad.”

Your face is sad. “I was just partying through it back then. Distraction was always the best method and then… When I had no more distractions and it was just me? Alone? And, psh, the accident with Jaimie? It got worse. So much worse.”

Climber’s eyes soften. “I’m sorry, bunny.”

You try to put on a brave face.

Bucky stands from in front of you and begins his own pacing. This one isn’t so much born out of anxious nature — but more of a tactical logic born out of keeping you safe.

This wasn’t exactly the turn he was expecting.

“You didn’t recognize her?” he asks after a moment, voice high and tight.

“I’m sorry,” you wave a hand, exasperated, “She doesn’t exactly look the same as she did in the 70s.”

Kiwi frowns at the screen. “Definitely botox.”

Bucky squints. He looks to you for an explanation.

You vaguely gesture to your face.

His brow lifts, he closes his eyes, and he sighs.

Kiwi is next to pipe up. “It explains why the feds are looking for you, especially if she saw you with the one man she knows is looking to hunt her down — so, I think it’s best the both of you lay low for a couple of days.”

“Not to mention,” Climber wags a finger, “Bucky the Babe over here did just piss off one the smaller Russian crime families in New York. So, there’s always that ontop of the evil Nazi-HYDRA-woman-next-door.”

You groan.

“Poke has enough food for a week,” Bucky says nearly reading your mind, “He’ll be fine.”

“So, what? We just wait here? Until something happens?”

“Sidrova is going to try and bait us out,” Bucky mutters, “She knows she can’t just disappear. She’s been settled for too long and we know too much. Engaging us in an altercation is how she’ll do it. Plus, I have a feeling she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to shoot me in the knees after a few decades. So, we wait.”

“Few decades?” Kiwi whispers.

“How old are you?” Climber asks.

“Hundred and six.”

Both of them just blink at an unphased Bucky.

You sigh, finally standing on wobbly legs. “This feels like a bad idea. I’m just stating that for the record.”

“Better than her hunting the both of you down,” Kiwi supplies, “You can stay here. There’s cable, there’s booze, and there’s plenty of instant ramen to last you until winter.”

“Stale cereal, too.”

“Wait— where are you two going?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, “You’re leaving?”

“Keeping our hands clean,” Kiwi says, closing her laptop, “And letting you be the sidekick, bunny.”

The sadness in your heart grows a little heavier at those words, but there’s a little bit of pride in Kiwi’s tone. As she stands, she moves to wrap her arms around you in a gentle hug. Quietly, she murmurs into your hair.

“Your dad would be proud of you, y’know.”

Bucky watches.

Climber is next, and that hug is bigger, more brotherly, more like sunshine and less like autumn.

“Don’t be a stranger, Rabbit.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out as the two of them gather their belongings, “For dragging you both into this. But, thank you. You didn’t have to help me—”

“Yeah, we did,” Kiwi chirps as she knocks Bucky on the arm three times, “Keep her safe, aakarshak purush.”

The Hindi rolls off her tongue with ease.

Bucky laughs. “Bahut lamba.”

Kiwi pauses mid-step. She narrows her eyes. There’s a smile on her lips. “Your pronunciation isn’t bad.”

He shrugs plainly. “I get lunch almost everyday at the Indian place below my apartment, so. The owner has been teaching me some stuff on the side.”

An approving nod.

Kiwi hucks you the keys across the room.

She points at Bucky.

“I like him. Try not to fuck that up, eh?”

And then, the two of them are gone.

And it’s just you and Bucky in the empty apartment.

[the-glitter-acetylcholine]

Harry Potter characters that were criminally underused (in no particular order)

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

Luna Lovegood - literally only introduced like halfway through the fifth book, yet probably the most influential ravenclaw character. Her odd mannerisms and odder outlook would have made her a fabulous addition to the golden trio’s shenanigans, yet she only serves this purpose in one case

Mad-eye Moody - he’s “well-developed” in the fourth book, and we get a lot of content of him... only to discover it wasn’t him at all. Then, he briefly appears with the order and then dies. Great. What a wonderful use of a skilled fighter and mentor.

Remus Lupin - okay, so he does get the whole third book but then... he just fucks off? Ofc then he, too, returns to fight with the order, fall in love with a woman half his age, have a baby with her, and then die immediately thereafter. He’s just such a cool guy with so much to offer to Harry and to readers (when it comes to insight on discrimination in the wizarding community) and he just doesn’t get a chance to do nearly enough. What a wasted opportunity.

Pravati and Padma Patil - yeah, these are two different characters, but we know so little about them that I can’t even discuss them individually. They’re twins in different houses! How cool! There’s so much to be explored there, especially considering the competitive atmosphere among houses that Harry perceives. Not to mention the fact that they inexplicably agreed to go to the Yule Ball with Harry and Ron respectively despite a) apparently not knowing them very well and b) not even being all that desperate to hang out with them at the ball (I think Padma asks Ron to dance a few times and then gives up) (side note: this made me extremely mad when I was little, because I had I major crush on Padma). What compelled them to do that? What are they like? What are the differences between them that caused them to be sorted into different houses? Gah, they could have been so interesting!

Cho Chang - this is one that makes me genuinely a little mad (same goes for #6). She’s just so two dimensional, and that’s really not fair. She’s a decoration on Harry’s arm for what? A year or two? And she then cries, dates Diggory, and then she cries again (I think she dates Diggory first but you get the point). HER PURPOSE IS NOT JUST TO CRY OVER GUYS. She’s a ravenclaw. Let’s hear about that. Where do her interests lie? Is she an academic? Is she an artist? What kind of intelligence does she have, what kind of knowledge does she seek? What made her like Harry to begin with? Did Harry ever like her for more than her “sleek black hair” (not a direct quote, but I’m sure it’s described as something to that effect)? I want to knowwwww

Lavender Brown - aka... Ron’s brief, annoying girlfriend? The precursor to Romione? I mean, was this girl even in the D.A.? Maybe she was, but I don’t remember, and that’s the problem. She’s a Gryffindor. She’s brave, she’s headstrong, she’s proud! But she’s only ever portrayed as overbearing and clingy which SURE, may be some of her traits, because she’s allowed to have flaws, but that’s not all she is. I want to see her relationship with Pravati and Hermione, who she roomed with for six years (beyond her annoying Hermione when she dated Ron). But nope! I guess she’s just another accessory!

Nymphadora Tonks - i.e. Tonks. She’s funny and brave and powerful, but we barely get to see her in action (yes, before you ask, i had a crush on her, too). She’s interesting, so interesting, because her emotions are often expressed through her appearance, and she undergoes like two full personality shifts throughout the books (it’s worth noting that she’s also introduced pretty late in the series, book five, i think). She’s depressed for a while, then she falls in love, gets married, and has a son (and then dies), and, while it seems like this is a lot of usage (which it is), I can’t help but wish we had seen a little more of it all, specifically of her falling in love and of her married life, of her motherhood, before she died.

Xenophilius Lovegood - literallly (i would argue) one of the most interesting characters in the series, despite the fact that (I think) he is only featured heavily in one scene. I would definitely call him a more complex character than Snape. In his one scene, Xenophilius offers the golden trio one of their most important lessons through the Tale of the Three Brothers, the story which ultimately wins them the war against Voldemort. And yet, it’s a trap. He’s stalling, keeping them around so that Voldy’s goons can come pick them up and presumably kill them, or at least imprison them until Voldy comes ‘round again. But, and here’s the important part, he does it to save his beloved daughter. His daughter, who is the only family he has left, after his incredible scientist-witch of a wife died doing what she loved. The Lovegood’s are a family of inherently good people, yet Xenophilius sides with the very people who took his daughter in a weak effort to get her safely back. His plan won’t work, they won’t return Luna. They DON’T return her, but Xenophilius is fundamentally weak, made weak out of his love, and his fear of losing the last person in the world he has to care about, to protect, to love. He’s just SO DAMN INTERESTING ughhhhh give me more Xenophilius pleaseeeee

Kingsley Shacklebolt - he’s??? so cool??? Literally he’s just awesome, but we barely see him. He acts as a spy, essentially, when the ministry gets taken over by the death eaters, and helps the order actually get shit done, but he’s just so underused. Idk, I don’t have much to say except that he’s awesome and I want more Shacklebolt content

Cedric Diggory - he’s actually talked about a fair amount, so I don’t think I need to say much, except that he is literally the nicest guy ever, and, despite Harry actively hating him for like a whole year, he helps him in the Triwizard Tournament and represents Hufflepuff beautifully as being more than just the “miscellaneous house”. But then of course he’s killed before he and Harry can become friends, and before readers get a chance to understand anything about his social status (is he the asshole popular guy or sweet quite guy???) or motivations. Of course.

Percy Weasley - aka MY FAVORITE WEASLEY KID. R*wling did my boy so dirty. He’s cool because he’s kind of a stuck up academic asshole stereotype, or at least Harry perceives him as such, and then he changes slightly over the years as he and Harry both grow and mature and then it all culminates in his great moment of emotion and humanity! Fred’s death is, without much contest I think, the most devastating death in the whole series (Dobby could admittedly give him a run for his money, though), in part because he’s just so damn sweet and funny and innocent, and in part because right before it we FINALLY get to see Percy smile. He smiles at a dumb joke Fred makes, and then Fred DIES (a well placed death, I’ll admit begrudgingly), and just the juxtaposition of the moment... *chef’s kiss*. And then we never really check back in on Percy, and we don’t really get enough closure on that moment. :/

Colin and Dennis Creevy - again, two characters stuffed together, this time because we actually know a fair amount about them and... they’re kind of the same character. Colin is obsessed with Harry, and so is Dennis. That’s about it. I just WISH we got a little more on these kids, on why they felt so drawn to him as this apparently untouchable hero among them. Were they abused? Orphaned? Abandoned? Did they have some sort of trauma in their lives that made them so attached to the idea of a savoir? Or did they simply regard Harry as most little boys might, as a cool sort of action figure character? The world may never know :(((

Susan Bones - God, I wish I had more to say about her. She’s sweet, she a hufflepuff, I think she helps Ron at one point in Herbology. Her aunt dies I think. Is she the one who had the rabbit at one point? Idk, she’s just one of those characters who’s so far in the background that she almost stands out, and I kinda just wanna know more.

Fawkes - yeah, I know he’s a bird or whatever, but he’s fucking cool, and we get a Fawkes-ex-machina in the second book and then he’s essentially inconsequential for like... forever. I want to know how he and dumbledore bonded, why his feathers in those two specific wands were so attracted to Harry and Tommy boi specifically, other than symbolism uwu. Does Fawkes have a moral compass, or does he simply follow Dumbledore’s orders? Could his loyalty potentially be changed?

Narcissa Malfoy - please, for the love of god, give the Malfoy’s a chance. At least Draco and Narcissa. Narcissa is essentially the flip side of Xenophilius’s coin. Her side of the family is shrouded in dark magic, but her priority is keeping her dear son safe. I just want to know her and her inner struggle more intimately, because she’s such a contradiction, she’s a death eater who loves and protects, a dark magic user who wants to create something warm and beautiful for her family. She’s scared for a husband, a top death eater, one of Voldemort’s personal faves, and scared for her son, who she knows is good at heart but who struggles through the first steps of death eater initiation out of a sense of duty, a duty to her and his father. She’s the intimate mother figure, yet she’s an antagonist, fundamentally speaking. Fascinating.

These are just some I thought of off the top of my head, I’m sure there are literally hundreds more, from the two guys from the Knightbus to Bathilda Bagshot to Nagini the legend (also wtf happened to her in the Cursed Child?? Nvm, I can’t even get into that shithole right now), and I have to admit that I still love Harry Potter, for its characters and it’s incredible world building, though R*wling is a massive piece of terf-y shit.

It’s important to note that I understand the purpose of flat characters, I understand the purpose of background characters, of undeveloped characters. What I’m pointing out here is that there was a lot of potential in these characters that was largely squandered because R*wling focused her energy on attempting to redeem Snape without a redemption arch, attempting to redeem Dumbledore with an inadequate one, and refusing to properly redeem Draco despite his well-developed arch, for some fucking reason. If you can’t tell, I’m salty, but I’m only salty because I care. Ily, have a good day!!

[necrokittytales]

Necrokitty Tales: Trouble in Inkwell Isle (Chapter 18)

Authors’ note: Necrida’s writing will be in italics and SPKC’s writing with be regular font.If you have no idea what this roleplaying thing is, you can start from the beginning here.

——- The carnival was soon upon the residents of the Inkwell Isles.

Hopus made sure to have Harvey practice over and over again. When it was finally time to go, Harvey managed to make a tea cup disappear, only for it to reappear an inch away, usually falling off the table and cracking, much to his mother’s chagrin. But Hopus was proud nevertheless. Mrs. Hare finished putting a sweater on Hanna. “Now, Hanna, I want you to stay with Harvey and not to leave his side,” the rabbit mother ordered, messing with her fur, making the rabbit squeal as the overbearing mother readjusted her daughter’s red bow tie. “What if he has to poop?” Hanna asked. “You’ll wait outside for him,” her mother insisted. “Wait if I have to poop?” “Then he’ll wait for you.”

Harvey tucked the small wand into his jacket as Hopus finished explaining to the young rabbit. “And lastly, don’t use it on anyone unless you’re sure you can bring them back safely,” Hopus advised, “no making someone appear on the edge of the cliff or on top of the ferris wheel or nuthin.” “Got it, thanks dad,” Harvey thanked. “Great! You might see a couple of your sisters there,” Mrs. Hare mentioned, “But no dumping your little sister on them, got it?” “I won’t!” Harvey insisted as Hanna walked over and hugged him. “Alright be safe! Your father will pick you up tonight.” Harvey raised an eyebrow. “Really?” His father did not go to the carnival or really much of anywhere when he came to visit. “Yes, I figure I’ll need to stretch my legs after your mother and I…catch up on some things.” The two adults shared a wink, making Harvey confused but he didn’t question it. “Oh, okay. Well, good bye. We love you,” the two children said before bolting out the door and down the path toward the second Inkwell Isle, looking forward to what would be a night of carnival games and excitement. – Goopy Le Grande hopped up to Isabella’s home and knocked on the door. “Hello, it’s Le Grande,” he called, remembering the woman was still vision limited so the extra audio cue might be nice.

Upon hearing the arrival of the visitor, Mina grew very excited. “Finally!” Mina jumped from her chair and opened the door. “Let’s go, lets go, lets go!” She shouted at the grinning goop. “Mina…” Her mother called. “But I really have to go! They’re waiting for me!” The b-cat insisted. “It doesn’t mean you have to lose all your manners.” The little girl knew her mother was right. She lowered her ears and extended an inviting hand towards her home. “Hello, Mr Le Grande. Would you like something to drink before we go?” She said in a much more calmed tone.

Goopy smiled at the politeness. “No, but thank you. It sounds like we are very eager to go.” He looked toward Isabella. “Is there anything else you remembered you want to tell me before we head out?”

Isabella took a moment to think. “Yes! Whatever you do, under ANY circumstances, don’t let her have cotton candy.” Mina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as her mother continued. “Also, here are a copy of the house keys,” the mother remembered, leaving a set of keys on the table. "I should be back from work around 3 or 4 in the morning, so make yourself at home.”

“No cotton candy, got it,” Goopy repeated. He looked at the little bat. “Ready to go?”

The little girl smiled at Goopy and nodded “Yeap!” She wiggled her little kitten tail happily and hugged her mother “Break a leg, mama!” Isabella smiled and hugged her back. “Thank you, my little fur ball.” She tenderly kissed her forehead. “Have fun, and listen to Monsieur Le Grande!” “Yes, mama…” the b-cat answered, tired of her mother repeating herself, and walked outside of the house. “Te iubesc foarte mult” She heard her mother call from the house. “I love you too, mama!” Mina called back before following Goopy down the path.

–

Harvey was surprised to see Spike already waiting at the entrance of the carnival when he and his sister arrived. He didn’t think the pup would actually show up, or rather, he was really hoping he wasn’t going to show up. Spike spotted him and gave a curt nod in his direction. “Surprised you decided to show up, dummy,” Spike huffed. He spotted Hanna and raised an eyebrow. “Who’s the shrimp?” Hanna puffed out her chest. “I am a rabbit not a shrimp and my name is Hanna and I am 6 years old and I make quilts and even though you are mean, I will make you a quilt so you better be nice to my brother because he knows magic now too!” Spike rubbed his ears. “I didn’t get any of that. Was that even English?” Harvey sighed. “She says she’s gonna make you a quilt.” “I don’t want a dumb quilt,” Spike grumbled. “She wasn’t asking. She was telling you,” Harvey explained. Spike grumbled and looked away. “So where’s the vampire? She decide to be a chicken and stay home?”

Just as he finished speaking, Mina and Goopy arrived at the carnival. Mina spotted her friend Harvey accompanied by little Hanna and… Spike. “That’s Spike, the little dog,” she whispered to Goopy, “and the bunnies are Harvey and one of his sisters, Hanna.” On their way to the carnival, Mina had taken the chance to explain her brilliant plan to turn Spike from a bully to a buddy.

Goopy rubbed his chin thoughtfully upon seeing the pup that Mina had been talking about. “Well, I think that’s a very noble attempt at keeping the peace. I’m quite the peace mediator myself, but I suppose you kids have got to figure it out. Although nothing settles a disagreement like a good brawl, in my opinion,” Goopy added as they approached the children. Harvey waved at Mina and Goopy. “Hello, Mr. Le Grande,” he greeted pleasantly. “Well, hello Harvey. Is this your little sister? I don’t think I’ve seen her since she was a bunny,” Goopy greeted, tipping his top at the little rabbit. She smiled and curtsied politely. Spike scoffed. “Really? You brought an adult? You guys must be more scared than I thought.” Goopy eyed him. “Hello there, Spike, I’ve been sent to accompany Ms Mina, but by no means am I going to be following her around all the time.” Goopy gave her a nod. “If you run ahead, just make sure to eventually come back, got it?”

Mina smiled and nodded at Goopy. She then turned to Spike, crossing her arms. “So what would you like to start with?” She asked defiantly, grinning at the pup.

“Why don’t you ride the roller coaster ride first?” Goopy suggested when the puppy didn’t speak.

Hanna pouted. “I don’t think I’m big enough for that. How about the merry go round?”

Spike shook his head. “That stuff is for babies.” Harvey bristled at that.

Goopy scoped the park so more. “Did you want to do carnival games?”

Harvey did but he wanted a chance to do it without Hanna in case he could win her something. “Not now, maybe later?”

Spike crossed his arms and pointed at Mina. “If you’re really serious about having this scare off, we should started with the least scary places and keep going to scarier stuff until you give up.”

“You’re right, Spike. Perhaps you’re not as dumb as you look!” Mina smiled at him and looked around. “We can go on the wheel, unless you’re afraid of heights?”  The little bat suggested. She figured they could enjoy a bit of calm with Hanna before they screaming really started.

Spike crossed his arms even tighter. “I’m not scared of heights. Let’s do it!” The dog ran off before any of the kids knew what was up, forcing them to run after him toward the ferris wheel, leaving Goopy to slowly hop from behind.

–

The Baroness’ eyes couldn’t help but pop at all the lights of the carnival. “Goodness, Beppi really has put in a lot of effort to make things look good this time,” the woman noted to Grim. The two had walked from her castle to the carnival entrance and just paid the fare to enter.

“Yes… he d-did a great job…” the dragon agreed, admiring Baroness Von Bon Bon’s outfit. She looked absolutely ravishing tonight.

Bon Bon looked over at the dragon, unaware of the dragon’s interest in her outfit. “Do you see any rides you’d like to try first?” She asked.

The dragon couldn’t stop thinking about how much he enjoyed her company, her sweet smell, her delightful voice…But at the sound of her question, he snapped out of his thoughts.

“Uh… how about the ferris wheel? Or the b-bumper cars?” he considered.

“Let’s do the bumper cars,” Baroness decided, a malicious grin alighting on her face at the suggestion. “I think the cars have Beppi’s face on them and nothing would be more satisfying than to smash them into each other,” she added.

Grim chuckled and followed her to the bumper cars. When it was their turn to ride, the dragon realised he was slightly too big for just one car. But he was determined to ride anyway. Ignoring the technician, he took two cars and used them as if they were roller skates.

“I’m r-ready!” He smiled at the Baroness and give her a daring stare.

The Baroness laughed at the bravado. “Better clench your claws, Grim, I don’t hold back!” At the sound of the buzzer, all the bumper cars started to jerk and move around, fueling Bon Bon’s somewhat macabre desire to hurt things as she gleefully rammed and collided with other cars.

Grim skated towards Bon Bon, but a car bumped him, making him lose his balance and fall. He growled angrily and tried to look who it was but there were so many people he couldn’t be sure who did it.

He was standing up when another car ran over his tail, making him roar in pain. This time he stood up quickly and recognised Cuphead smiling victorious before he got bumped by another car who nearly made him get out of his own.

Grim smiled, showing his fangs as he slipped back into his roller cars. This was going to be fun!

The Baroness was having so much fun, especially crashing into Cuphead that she didn’t notice  a certain clown approaching the controls of the bumper cars.

Beppi eyed Bon Bon and Grim having a wonderful time. “Let’s make this ride a lot more interesting,” he chuckled, pressing a few buttons and raising the speed of the bumper cars.

Bon Bon didn’t realize the speed increase at first. It was only when she was T-boned and actually jostled a bit more did she realize the cars were hitting with more force. Not enough to hurt, but definitely enough to rattle someone. Especially someone balanced on two cars.

Cuphead took advantage of the increasing speed and kept bumping against Grim, laughing out loud as he did. The dragon kept losing his balance and ridiculously wiggled his limbs to keep himself from falling, only to end up falling anyway with a heavy thud.

It was annoying for Grim (and a little painful) but he was still having fun. He loved the crazy look of the Baroness when she fiercely succeeded in bumping someone. Especially when that someone was the little annoying cup.

And speaking of the cup… Grim was near BonBon now, he looked at her with a grin and wanted to bumped her softly. Before he could do this, Cuphead gave a particularly hard charge to one of his feet. The unexpected impact made Grim lose his balance again and sent him spiraling down once more. Only this time, it was toward the Baroness.

The woman saw the shadow over her and realized she was in imminent danger of being squashed. She jumped out of the moving bumper car quickly and rolled to safely just as poor Grim landed right where she had been moments before.

The bumper cars were quickly halted as she stood up and dusted herself off. She swore she could someone loudly giggling, “TIMBER!” and she looked around for the source. That almost sounded like Beppi. She scowled but softened when she saw Grim lying on the ground with a groan. She walked over to him carefully. “Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” She asked carefully, placing a hand on his shoulder.

‘You almost crushed her…’ Grim thought to himself, 'You almost CRUSHED her!’ He felt terrible. He could have hurt Bon Bon so badly. He looked at her full of guilt and sadness, thinking about the horrible thing it could have happened.

Cuphead got out of his car alarmed “Grim! You ok?!” The little cup immediately stepped back when the dragon blew warm smoke at him with an angry growl.

“I could have KILLED her!” he roared standing threarning on all fours.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to… ” Cuphead slowly backed up.

The Baroness recognized an angry dragon when she saw one. “Grim Matchstick!” She yelled sharply, hopefully getting the dragon’s attention.

Grim’s ears backed down and he slowly looked at Von Bon Bon. The little cup took the chance to run away from the dragon.

Grim was so ashamed, not only did he almost crush her but he just lost his temper towards a kid. This night was going to be memorable alright, but not the way he hoped it would.

The Baroness saw how distraught the dragon looked and sighed. “Oh, Grim,” she coaxed, taking the dragon’s claw and leading him off the bumper car track, “you can’t just go burning people all willy nilly,” She explained, picking up a wrench and looking toward the individual by the controls. “You got to disable your target first,” she added darkly and fiercely chucked the wrench in that direction.

She smiled sweetly at Grim before leading him toward the ferris wheel. “Do you understand?”

The dragon allowed BonBon to lead him away from the bumper cars but was rather confused by her throwing that tool. He didn’t really understand what she meant by all of this, but he was just glad she didn’t leave him.

“I-I-I’m sorry, baroness… ” he said embarrassed and unaware of the cluster gathered around the control box.

–

A couple of carnival attendees stood over a fallen clown, with a wrench shaped dent in his head. Beppi was rubbing his head. “Ow…clearly I need to up my game a bit,” he groaned.

–

While Grim and Baroness left the bumper cars, another couple was just entering the park.

Amber walked toward the entrance of the carnival apprehensively and was concerned when Sullivan was already there, waiting for her. Her eyes narrowed. Had the salamander already scoped the place out? Did he know all the secret places a girl could get dragged to? Would he try anything? She shifted, feeling the small concealed weapon under her clothes rub against her soft fur and smiled. He would very quickly learn a painful lesson if he tried.

She plastered on an enthusiastic smile and waved at him. "Hello, Sully!” She greeted cheerfully.

Sullivan’s eyes brightened at the sight of Amber. “H-hi! ” he waved,“How have you been?” He smiled shyly, hiding an arm behind his back.

Amber did not like the fact that she could not see Sully’s other arm. Still, she managed to keep a playful smile on. “I’m good. It’s so nice to see you. What happened with your arm? Did you get hurt?” She asked, attempting to peek behind him to see what type of weapon he could have.

'Hurt with Cupid’s love arrows,’ the salamander told himself.

“Hehe… No.. it’s… ” he showed his arm holding a small black box. “I got you a little something…” he blushed and opened the box in front of her. It was a thin silver bracelet with delicate flower and leaves carvings. He looked at her to see her reaction.

Amber’s eyes open wide at the gift. 'Ooh, a shiny,’ her mind thought automatically. She liked shinies. She took it carefully and placed it on her own wrist. “Sully, this is beautiful! Thank you!” She thanked, planting a tiny peck on his cheek.

Psycho killer or not, the salamander had taste. Amber had to make sure she stole something extra nice for him tonight. Or at least stole enough cash to win him something.

Sullivan blushed and caressed the kissed cheek. “I’m so glad you like it!” It took him so long to decide what to get her… He knew Amber was a more sophisticated woman, and that only showing off physical strength wouldn’t suffice to conquer her heart.

He offered his arm to her like a gentleman. “Ready to have some fun, m'lady?” He said, smiling at the feline.

Amber took his arm. “Of course!” Her ears perked up at the sound of an announcer declaring the bumper cars were starting up again after a temporary pause and she grinned.

“Let’s do the bumper cars!!” She squealed, “I wanna hit something!” And with that, she dragged Sullivan into the park with a purr.

Sullivan let her drag him still smiling. The evening looked promising!

There was a lot of people starting to wait in line but thanks to Amber they were one of the firsts.

On the side of the tracks they saw one.of the cars all smashed. “Wow! Somebody had an extrabumpy ride…” the salamander said starting to worry for Amber.

Amber blanched. “Huh. That’s uh… different,” she admitted. Still, she did just pick pocket about 3 people in this line. It would look suspicious if she just left after coming all the way here. “Well I know which car we’re not taking,” she joked.

—

“You call that scary? I was falling asleep on that ride!” Spike laughed, as the children walked away from one of the rides.

The scare contest was still on amongst Mina and Spike. It took them a while to see which ride they would start with, mostly because they needed to find a ride that Hanna could also ride since she was so short. They had finally found a scary ride and although Harvey was a bit spooked, it looked like it hadn’t left much of an impression on Spike.

“That was kind of scary,” Harvey admitted.

Hanna patted his paw. “Don’t worry, the monsters in that one were all fake. They’re not real.”

Spike continue to laugh at poor Harvey who pouted. He turned toward Mina. “You’re going to find a real scary ride now or what?”

Mina was with Spike. So far the rides didn’t made them scream so much but she didn’t want make Harvey feel bad.

“Well, at least they were fun,” she smiled. “And that face you made when we were up high in the air? That was priceless, Spike” She chuckled.

She looked around and saw the perfect ride to go on next.

“I guess it’s time for the real scary stuff.” She pointed at the haunted house, grinning maliciously.

Harvey didn’t like that ride one bit. “That’s the really spooky one,” he mumbled.

Goopy patted him on the back. “Now, now, kiddo, just remember it’s just all smoke and mirrors. No actual monsters and spooks.”

They started to walk over to the ride only for Harvey to catch sight of one of the carnival games. He wondered if he could find sewing needles for Hanna in there. Maybe he could check after the ride if he didn’t run out screaming.

The carnival attraction looked harmless enough at first glance. Just a large dark looking mansion. Yet the closer the children got to it, the more menancing it became. The windows open and shut on their own. The sounds of groans and chains rattling grew louder with each step. And by the time Mina and her friends had reached a certain point in the line, they could hear the screams of the attendees who had gone before them.

Harvey was seriously spooked despite the fact that Hanna was still giggling about the whole thing. “I wonder if I can make the ghosts some quilts.”

“Hanna, there’s no such things as ghosts. Skeletal horses, yes, but not ghosts.”

“Ooh! Actually, there are!” Goopy prompted. “They run a train on the third isle.”

Spike gaped at the blob. “Nu uh. No way.”

“Mmhmm.”

They were waiting in line for a while. It seemed there were a lot of people waiting in line for the attraction. It looked like they were having patrons go in as small groups, rather than by themselves. Mina was disappointed with this information. It probably wouldn’t be as fun if they had to go with some other folks. Especially if these folks weren’t scared easily. So she looked around to check if there were people who looked easily spooked…or someone who looked like a spook.

She spotted a salamander who didn’t look very brave next to… the freelancer! It would be fun to ride with them!

–

Sullivan was delighted they were going to the Haunted Manor. He was tired trying to win prizes for Amber testing his very little strength. But this, didn’t took any skill to walk around holding  and reassuring his beloved lady.

“I was a little kid since the last time I went in there.  I wonder if they changed the ghost sheets,” he chuckled.

Amber had no interest in a spooky haunted mansion. Initially. She hadn’t been too impressed with Sully’s attempts to win her stuff and she had to resist the urge to win her own prizes. So when he suggested the spooky mansion walk, she was about to shoot it down. But when she read the little pamphlet on it claiming that the ghostly spectres haunting the mansion came from a solid gold artifact, she was much more on board.

Even if the gold thing wasn’t true, there were still plenty of incentive to walk through a dark mansion. The darkness could provide cover for her to frisk a few patrons, especially if they were traveling with a group. Sully had been rather talkative up until this point, talking about how this mansion had been up for ages, ever since he was a boy.

Amber was fairly sure by his nonchalance that he didn’t believe in the spooks, especially by the way he almost put his arm around her a couple times. Even if he might be a psycho killer, she did admit it was kind of cute watching him try so hard.

She for sure thought they were going to be part of the group in front of them going in, only to be stopped just before they could step in by a bedraggled looking clown. “That’s it for now, gonna have to wait for the other group to leave before you guys can go in,” he explained.

She felt something approaching her and glanced up to see…holy shit, a dragon. Her eyes widened at his appearance. It was a dragon…in an oversized coat. Huh. That’s new. Probably shouldn’t try to take anything from him. Fur was flammable.

Sullivan noticed Amber getting nervous at the dragon. “Oh, him? Don’t worry! He’s a very nice dragon, his name is Grim Matchstick, he lives in that big tower over there.” He pointed to the silhouette of the old white structure illuminated by the dim lights of the night, giving it a mysterious look.

He also noticed the person next to him. “Oh gosh! The Baroness Von Bon Bon… now THAT one you can fear….”

Amber observed the Baroness and scratched herself dismissively. “I don’t see why she’s scary. She’s just a princess, isn’t she?”

“She’s the Baroness of Sugarland. She had a bit of a temper… you should stay on her good side or she will take your head. Literally!” Sullivan explained to his lovely companion.

–

Mina made a motion to approach the freelancer and the salamander only to stop in her tracks when a giant green lizard stepped between them. She poked at Goopy excitedly.

“Is that what I think it is?” She smiled, not believing her own eyes.

Goopy turned to see what Mina was was pointing at and grinned instead. “Oh, Grim! Why hello there!” He greeted, tipping his tip at the dragon.

–

Grim was a bit nervous. After the fiasco at the bumper cars he didn’t have the courage to get on another ride… but he still had to make the Baroness scared so she would ask him to stay in her castle.

He looked up at the scary facade of the Haunted Manor and gulped. He was probably more scared than Bon Bon. He looked down to her. “T-t-hey say it’s really scary… A-are you going to be ok?”

The Baroness smiled at Grim’s sincere question. “There are very few things that scare me, Grim. But I’d like to see what Beppi has in store for the average patron. Who knows, maybe he’ll get lucky and make me laugh,” she chuckled, gently tapping the dragon on his arm.

Why did she tap him? The Baroness glanced away so he didn’t see the faint trace of red on her cheeks. She didn’t know why, but she really wanted to keep touching Grim tonight. Maybe it was because he was wearing a darling coat? Or had actually worked up the courage to ask her out? She knew deep down he was a very nervous dragon so the fact that he was willing to go to a haunted ride just for her sake was endearing.

Grim blushed at the touch of the Baroness and smiled shyly. He was about to talk when he recognised a voice behind him.

“Oh! G-g-goopy! How have you b-been?” He noticed the bunch of kids around him and smiled, showing a little too much teeth. “W-well you are in good company.”

Mina couldn’t help but stare at the dragon with wide, admiring eyes. That made Grim feel a bit uncomfortable.

“I am doing well, old sport! How about yourself?” Goopy greeted. He spotted the Baroness and his smile widened. He gently nudged the dragon with his elbow. “And I see you have the most lovely Baroness as your companion for the night?”

The Baroness smiled disarmingly at the goop. “Good evening, Le Grande…Flattery will not make me forget that you spilled punch on me the last time we were all out,” she spoke cooly.

Goopy chortled. “Yes, yes, I remember. No need to lose your head about it.”

“And more importantly, yours,” she dangerously reminded him, still smiling, unaware of the cat behind her now watching her much more warily than she had just a few seconds ago. She looked at the small bat like creature next to him. “You have a child?”

Goopy gestured to Mina. “Oh, this here is Mina. She and her mother recently moved to the first isle and she’s working tonight, so I offered to accompany the little rascal and her friends to the carnival,” Goopy explained. He gave Mina a little push toward the couple. “Mina, this is Grim Matchstick and Baroness Von Bon Bon. I believe they are on a date.”

If the woman was phased, she did not show it. She knelt down and extended a hand to the little girl. “Hello, Mina. How are you?”

The dragon blushed even more at the blue goop’s remark but cooled down when Bon Bon talked, full of confidence. She was so lovely when she threatened people. He shyly waved at Mina who kept staring at him weirdly. Kids made him nervous. He couldn’t predict when they were about to start crying, or yelling, or laughing in volumes that would burst anyone’s ear drums.

The little b-cat stopped staring at the dragon and now looked at the woman kneeling in front of her. She smelled like sweet delicious candy! And she was a Baroness? Looked more like a princess to her.

“H-hi! Eh…” she tried to remember the correct way to greet  nobility. She decided to go the 'knight’ way and put a fist on her chest, lowered her head, and bowed as far as she could go. “It’s an honor to meet you, your highness!.” She looked up at her with an eyebrow raised and spoke softly so only Bon Bon could hear. “Are you made out of candy?”

The Barones smirked at Mina. “My dress is,” she explained to the small child. Mina looked at the dress with a mix of admiration and hunger. Bon Bon looked behind her at Harvey, Hanna and Spike. “Are these your friends?”

“Oh! Yes! These are my friends, Harvey, his little sister Hanna and Spike” she introduced them to the odd couple.

“Nice t-t-to meet you all” Grim waved at the children.

“Are you kidding? It’s nice to meet YOU! I mean, you’re a dragon! There is nothing in this world more awesome than a dragon!” She turned to Harvey all excited “Man I love this place!”

Grim couldn’t help but feel a bit proud and chuckled. “Oh, wow. I guess I’m t-the first dragon you’ve ever seen, uh?”

“THERE ARE MORE?” Mina yelled eyes wide open.

–

The salamander noticed Goopy talking to Grim and BonBon. He didn’t wanted to interrupt , so he waited for Goopy to glance at his direction and waved hello at him.

Amber continued to observe her surroundings, unaware that Sullivan was actively trying to draw attention to them. She checked out behind the Baroness to see a large blue slime and some familiar looking kids. Oh, she knew those two. Hopefully…they wouldn’t notice her. Or at the very least, wouldn’t out her to the rest of the group.

Eventually Sullivan was successful at waving at the blue slime ball and the ball took that as an invitation to approach. “Hello, Sullivan! I almost didn’t recognize you out here!” He greeted. He turned to Amber. “And who is your companion?”

“I’m Amber,” Amber greeted, shaking the hand that sprouted from the goop.

“Hello, Amber, I’m Goopy Le Grande. Is Sullivan behaving himself with you? He’s not getting too handsy, is he?” He teased, elbowing Sullivan now.

Amber smiled and almost said, ‘that he wouldn’t last too long if he did,’ but decided against it. Instead, she giggled. “No, he’s been quite the gentleman, actually.”

Sullivan blushed, embarrassed, but kept his smile. He would love to get handsy with Amber, but not before proving his worth and winning her heart.

“W-what about you? What you doing with a bunch of kids?“ He asked curiously, getting a better view of the children in front of the dragon and the Baroness. "You don’t fight today?”

Goopy shook his head. “Not tonight. Later next week. Should be an exciting one if I don’t say so myself. I could score you an extra ticket if this evening goes well?” He offered with a wink. “And as for the children, I’m watching them for the night. Mina and her mother recently moved to the Isle and she’s working tonight at the bar.”

Sulivan laughed nervously “ Eeh… y-yeah, we’ll see about that ticket.” He looked at Amber. “It might not spook us but I’m sure those kids will create the ambiance for us,” he chuckled. “After this we can go have a drink or something… i-if you like.”

Amber perked up at Sullivan’s words. “A drink, eh? Now that would be a great way to end the night. Well, almost the best way to end the night,” she purred, letting herself rub up against him suggestively when he got a bit closer to the dragon.

Goopy chuckled to Amber. “Well, we gotta let the kiddies have their fun first. The kids have a little wager going right now, a scare competition. Whoever is the last one to get scared wins. I really hope they updated the spooks in here otherwise these tykes are going to be a bit disappointed.”

Amber sighed. “Yeah, Sully was mentioning the “spooks”. Do you think we should even bother with going in?” She asked, jutting a thumb at the exit.

–

The Baroness smiled at the enthusiasm the children showed. It was nice to meet young ones who weren’t afraid of Grim. She often felt a mix of rage and sadness when Grim met with fear from the various island inhabitants. He had been here for years and he was still always worried that someone might start screaming when he would go to get groceries.

She gently waited for the dragon to answer the excited little girl.

Grim got startled by the child’s sudden yelling and chuckled when he realised she wasn’t yelling of fear. “Well yeah, there’s a whole Island full of them.”

Mina pulled at her ears “Oh.My.God. Mr Matchstc- Mutchstruc, Mr. Dragon, can we please meet tomorrow after my flying lessons? I want to note EVERYTHING in my adventure journal!.”

A silly smile got stuck in the dragon’s face.  "F-f-flying lessons uh? That s-sounds fun. How about we meet then? I c-c-could show you a trick or two….“ He spread his wings, almost hitting people around him, including Amber, Sullivan and Goopy.

"Hey! Careful, Matchstick,” Sullivan said, protecting Amber with his body.

“Oh! Sorry! I g-g-got a bit carried away…” his confidence fell to the ground and he tried to make himself small retracting his wings.

Mina noticed the change of humor in the dragon and cocked her head wondering why he didn’t eat their heads. She got closer to Grim. “Sir, it would be great to see you tomorrow!” Grim smiled at her and nodded. “Oh and you’re also welcome to join, your majesty,” Mina bowed again to Bon Bon. Grim looked at the baroness with puppy eyes, hoping she would agree to come.

The Baroness nodded. That would be quite amusing to see Grim teaching someone to fly. “I would actually look forward to that very much,” she agreed, trying to mask her excitement at watching Grim flap around like a dragonling again.

—

“Harvey, do you really not wanna go?” Hanna asked her brother as the adults talked, “You can stay outside if you like?”

Harvey shook his head. “No, mom and dad said I’ve got to stay with you. I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Spike teased, “If some girly princess can go in there, you can go in there,” he pointed to the Baroness.

Harvey wasn’t feeling like a very brave bunny and his sister gave him a quick hug. “Don’t worry! If any ghosts come by to scare you, I’ll scare them so hard, they will disappear!”

Harvey was about to ask why ghosts would be scared by a baby bunny when he felt something hard press into his ribs during the hug. His sister pulled away to look eagerly ahead and he reached into his jacket. His paws touched a stick and he realized he still had the training wand. His eyes widened and he looked around, but no one spotted him. He smiled a little and took his paw out. If a fake ghost really did spook him, maybe Harvey could make it disappear after all.

Harvey spotted Amber and his ears perked up. “Hi, Amber!” He greeted cheerfully. Seeing the “freelancer” did make him feel a little bit better. He wasn’t sure how much of a fighter she was, but between her, his wand, the baroness and a big dragon, he felt a bit safer going into the spooky mansion.

The cat looked worriedly at who was calling her name and relaxed when she realized it was Harvey and not some disgruntled victim. “Hey, long ears,” she greeted, “You going in here too?”

“Yeah, with Mina, Spike and my sister,” he explained. At the mention of herself, Hanna edged closer to look at the cat. Harvey looked at her. “This is my sister, Hanna.”

Amber extended a paw to shake Hanna’s. “Are you a goody two shoe like your brother?”

“I make quilts,” Hanna proudly exclaimed. She oohed at the feeling of her paw. “Your fur is so soft!!!”

The cat puffed out her chest with pride. “I take a bath everyday,” she winked.

“Can I brush you sometime?”

“…I like you, kid. You ever think about being a freelancer?” She suggested with a wink. Harvey crossed his arms and she laughed. “Kidding, kidding…although-” She was interrupted by a bull dog pup pushing past them and stomping up to the carnival employee managing the line.

“I’m tired of waiting for this dumb ride!” Spike barked at the employee, “everyone has to be gone by now!”

The carnival employee shrugged. “Unexpected delay. One of the guests passed out so we’re having to carry them out the back. Hopefully shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Amber blinked in surprise and glanced at Sullivan. “I didn’t realize sheets were THAT scary.”

Spike growled. “I wanna go on now!”

“Eager little puppy, ain’t cha?” A giggling voice called out. The pup turned to see a red and white bouncy clown skipping toward them. The clown patted the employee on the back. “I think I’ll take over from here, thank you.”

Spike raised his ears. “You’re that weird clown, Beppi, huh?”

Beppi nodded and smiled at the group. “Oh yes, I’m Beppi! Owner of the circus! And what a ride I have in store for all of you! Especially you, Baroness,” he winked, enjoying the scowl on her face and the nervous expression on the dragon. He leaned forward. “Who here wants to get scared?” he chuckled.

There was an uneasy response from the group. Beppi was smiling but there was a weird vibe about his whole introduction. The clown looked even more pleased. “Wonderful, just WONDERFUL!” He cheered, “Very well! Please, go on ahead. And enjoy yourselves! And remember, the last one who screams wins!” He chortled before opening the door and stepping back.

Spike started to walk toward the door, before glancing at the clown. “How ya know about our competition?” He asked.

Beppi cackled. “I know EVERYTHING that goes on in my park! Now, get along now, little doggies!” He waited for everyone to move forward.

Mina was intrigued by the clown and she marched out in front of the group. Following closely after her was Spike, also eager to see what all the fuss was about..but more importantly, to win the challenge.

Right behind them followed Harvey with Hanna, holding hands to make sure she wouldn’t run off and try to make quilts for spooks. Goopy, Sullivan and Amber were next. Bon Bon and Grim finally followed. Grim was fairly nervous already. Beppi seemed to be very happy they were here. A little too happy.

They all stepped into the manor, and the doors slammed behind them, leaving them in a room with dim light. And maniacal laughter.

–

Another individual was also going through his own sense of foreboding and despair. And although this one wasn’t related to spooks in the slightest, it was still rather terrifying.

It was date night with Hilda.

Cagney looked at the setting sun as he walked toward the club. It was still early but he wanted to make sure he showed up early, especially if he could scope out the spots and escape routes if necessary. Tonight, this was practically terrifying on its own, without the possibility of death by sky witch. And to try to get her to let him spend the night? A week ago, he would have had a chance even as a friendly sleepover, but now, after everything, he thought it was a snowball’s chance in hell.

He finally reached the club doors as the sun finally finished setting and gave a rap on the wood. The doors parted to reveal a tiny mole man. “Good evening, sir, do you have a reservation?” “Yeah, uh, for Cagney,” he explained. “I see. The reservation says it’s for two,” the mole read off his list. “Yeah, she’s not here yet?” “No, sir.” “Good, good. Okay, yeah, her name is Hilda. I guess she’ll be here soon,” he added hopefully, walking past the mole. “Very good, sir. I’ll go ahead and take you to your table.” The carnation was instantly hit with the loud music and chatter of bar patrons. He followed the mole to a table. “Might I suggest a drink sir from the bar?” The mole inquired. Cagney eyed him warily. “What? Why?” “You look very nervous, sir. And you’re tearing a hole in the tablecloth.” He looked down to see that he had actually ripped part of the tablecloth from pulling too hard. “Ah, uh, yeah, maybe,” he admitted. “Excellent, I’ll send over your waiter and he’ll get you started on something.” The waiter stepped up as if right on cue and suggested something that Cagney had no idea what it was, but it sounded harmless enough so he ordered that. As the waiter left, Cagney couldn’t help but eye the front door worriedly. He was all worried about what she would do to him when she showed up, but what would he do if she didn’t show at all. That would truly mean the end of the relationship as he knew it. He found himself tearing another hole in the tablecloth, only stopping when the drink came to him. He tapped his foot anxiously instead, continuing to eye the door.

—

Even though she was ready way before the time, Hilda thought it would be fun to make the flower break a sweat and arrived a few minutes late at the Night Owl club.

The mole greeted her and started to lead her to Cagney’s table, but she froze before she could take another step inside.

'C'mon! You can’t bail now!’ Sagittarius tried to encourage her. 'You already made him wait… he must be in a worst state than you.’ Hilda mentally agreed, the flower wasn’t very good at stress managing.

“Problem, mis? ” the mole asked interrupting her thoughts.

Hilda shook her head “No! I’m good.. I just… thought I forgot something…” she made sure her dress was perfect and followed him inside.

It was crowded tonight but there was a good ambiance. Jazzy tunes filling the air as people relaxed, chatted and danced. Hilda could feel her shoulders untense at the scene. She was glad they both agreed on coming here.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Cagney at the table. She was so happy to see him, and he was all dressed and everything. Scorpio’s note had a stronger effect than what she thought.

As they closed in, she tried to stop herself from smiling at her friend and focused on showing a hard look.

—

Cagney was panicking. He kept an eye on the clock behind the bar and when it was a minute after 7, he really did start freaking out. Holy shit she wasn’t coming after all. Had she faked a story about buying a dress and bribed the saleslady into convincing him she was going? How would she have known what store they were going to if she did that? Oh man, was Grim on it too?!

No, that was just him being paranoid, right? No, there’s no way Hilda would do something that cruel…then again he did nearly kill her so maybe this was a possibility after all. He grabbed the tablecloth subconsciously.

It was 3 minutes after. Shit, she wasn’t coming. Maybe she was outside looking in through a window, laughing at him. He looked around quickly. There were no windows in this place. He spotted Hilda briefly, looked away and then realized that that actually was Hilda and holy shit she was absolutely stunning. And she looked pissed.

His arms dropped but too late he forgot to let go of the table cloth. The force of his arms dropping led to him accidentally yanking off the entire table setting with a clatter to the ground. He was absolutely mortified.

Hilda had to cover her mouth to prevent herself from roaring in laughter, her chest hurting when she did. People stared at the flower for a moment, chuckling and whispering, before they returned to their business. A few waiters came quickly to clean the mess.

Hilda got to the table without any trace of that hard look. “Gee Cags, you really now how to get a girl’s attention,” she smirked.

When Hilda’s first words were not a swear at him, Cagney froze and his mind went blank. And then his brain screamed at him to say something because she just said words and that probably warranted a response of some kind.

He swallowed hard and then gave a weak smile. “Well, you’re here, so I guess it worked?” That was the dumbest line he could have said. He tried not to glare at the people around him who were still chuckling at him.

'Yes. Yes it did.’ Gemini intruded, giggling and admiring the carnation’s effort to dress elegantly

Hilda noticed the awkwardness in her friend and realized she had the upper hand. It was lovely to see her giant, intimidating, grumpy friend shivering at her presence.

After the staff set the table again she took a seat like she practiced at the joint, sensually crossing her legs, only this time her shoe stayed in place. She wasn’t sure what to say so she decided to torture him a bit more by remaining silent and just looking at him.

Why wasn’t she yelling at him? Was she messing with him? Should he call her out on it? What if she wasn’t messing with him and she just got madder. Maybe, he could just start with asking how she was doing?

“Soooo….crazy weather huh?”

He could have slapped himself. That was not what he meant to say at all. Holy crap. He just called her crazy.

'Did he just called us crazy?!’ Tauros demanded, making Hilda’s eye twitch.

“Yeah,” she said, her tone angry but still calm,  "Glad to see it didn’t drown you.“

"Yeah, glad about that….I think.” If he had been drowned, he wouldn’t have had this conversation right now. But still, he had to say something.

“You look nice,” he finally managed. She still looked pissed. If he wanted any shot of staying the night, he was gonna have to start by apologizing. “Listen, about the other night…I just wanna say I didn’t mean to break your dome.”

Hilda’s stare softened a little. Finally! A chance to clear things up. “I know… ” she said softly. “And.. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you….” She cleared her throat and hardened her voice again. “Anything ELSE you would like to apologize from that night?” The sky witch asked, crossing her arms roughly against her chest and releasing a soft painful groan.

Cagney heard the groan and remembered that Hilda had been stuck like a pin cushion when he accidentally attempted to crush her.

“I’m sorry I nearly killed you,” he finally managed, “and I’m sorry I couldn’t get all the thorns out,” he added turning a bit red.

“Yeah… ” Hilda couldn’t help but blush as well. “Next time, please wait for me to be conscious.” She showed a small smile.  

“Cags… ” she took a deep breath and leaned in over the table. “I apologize too… I should learn to better manage my anger. But…what happened? I mean, the things you said? The way you looked at me?” she hold her arms and looked at her friend worried. “It sounded like you meant it.”

Cagney buried his head in his leaves. “Ugh, Hilda, no I didn’t mean it. I was just so tired and angry and hurt and when I turn into…well, THAT, I just say a lot of things. A lot of dumb hurtful things.”

The second drink had loosened his tongue significantly and he groaned. “This is so hard for me right now to try to explain but I missed you. Like a bunch.”

Those last words melted the woman’s heart. She looked at him with a sad mile. She wanted to jump up and hug him tight, but she remained in control and stayed in her seat.

'What are you waiting for? Go for it!  For the love of God! Hug him, you crazy witch!’ Gemini was tried to convince Hilda.

'Hell no! You should kick him under the table! And then drag him outside and kick him some more!’ Tauros spoke.

'No! Let him talk! Look at him, he feels terrible… ’ It was starting to get crowded.

The woman shook her head to try to focus. “I don’t know If I want to hug or beat the life out of you.”

"You can do both if you want. I think it would be worth it and I might deserve it.” Cagney helpfully offered. He looked at how beautiful Hilda looked and his mind was starting to swim. She was even more beautiful than she was earlier this week when she showed up at his field, drunk and with…a different guy.

He cleared his throat. “Uh, before you do either, can you tell me something? Who is Carl?”

'CaAAarl��� she couldn’t help repeat in her mind. She had a choice to make here: be childish and pretend this guy was going to be her best friend, OR, be mature about it and tell him that it was just somebody she met with the sole purpose of making Cagney jealous.

“Oh, Carl…He’s a … He’s a friend. We met at the Joint and uh… sorry we woke you up.” She hid her face behind her drink, hoping there wouldn’t be more follow up questions.

The fact that she got fidgety with the question made Cagney’s stomach twist. “Didn’t realize you frequented the Joint.” He managed, trying to keep any spite out of his voice/

He had been on his third drink now and his mind swam with thoughts that hurt his chest. She met a guy at a bar and what, was she planning on bringing him back to her place? Technically, Cagney’s field was on the way if you were walking and with Hilda being unable to fly, it was feasible.

He tried not to pull at the tablecloth. Had there been other guys and he just managed to sleep through her bringing them back? That thought hurt a lot. Had she been living a double life and lovesick Cagney had been too dumb to see it until now?

“A friend, huh? What type of friend?” He asked, keeping his voice calm.

'Of course there was going to be follow up questions! What did you expect!’ Sagittarius scowled.

“Well, I have a life, Cags. You probably hang out with other people I don’t know about… Don’t you?” She asked really curious and kept drinking.

Cagney really didn’t have anyone. At least not anyone that Hilda didn’t already know. Admitting that would have just made him sound more a stupid loser. He tried to think what to say but only could manage a “Not really…” before the he was interrupted.

“Ladies and gentlemen!” A well dressed rooster announced from the stage. “Put your hands together and give a round for our newest, lovely siren, Miss Bella Bechstein!”

Hilda’s eyes widened and choked on her drink and coughed.

At the sound of the familiar name, he turned to see Isabella on stage. She was quite breathtaking to be sure and you could hardly tell she was blind by the way she handled that microphone. “Huh,” he observed, “I didn’t know Isabella worked here.”

Hilda glared at Cagney. “You know her?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

The crowd applauded as Isabella entered the stage, accompanied by one of the lizard musicians, and got to the microphone. “Good evening everybody! I sincerely hope your night is going well,” she charmingly spoke as the rooster and lizard left the stage.

Cagney nodded. “Yeah, I accid-” he stopped mid-speech. He was about to admit to Hilda that he attacked a small child in a drugged stupor. That would probably not go over very well. It’s not like Hilda had strong maternal instincts, but at the same time, kids were kids and attacking them (Cuphead and Mugman being the exception) made you look like a monster.

So he bent the truth. “I acc-actually ran into her and her kid by my field. She’s new to the isle, did you meet her?”

“I-I met her too… she and Goopy helped me clean up the dome mess…”

"They did? Dammit.” Now he really felt bad. He should have been the one helping her clean up. Now if only he knew how to fix it. “She’s got quite the mouth on her,“ Cagney remembered with a chuckle, thinking about she swore him out just a few days ago

'Quite the mouth on her?!’ Gemini bursted in jealousy. 'I knew it! They have something!’. Hilda looked at him alarmed.

“W-wh-what do you mean about the mouth thing?” the sky witch mumbled scared of the answer, trying to sound as if she didn’t really cared.

The music started playing and Isabella talked in her sweet tone.

“You know folks, I like games. And there’s one in particular that used to play with a that special friend…”. And at her cue she started singing “I double dare you’.

Hilda’s next question made him pause. Cagney didn’t have a lot of insight into the female mind but he suddenly had the inkling that maybe he should choose his next words carefully. He pointed a thumb at the bat on stage. "Well, I mean, she’s a pretty good singer, right? She’s keeping with the band pretty well. It’s probably something that could be danced to, ya know, if you felt like dancing at all…” He felt like a kid asking a girl to a school dance.

'OH MY GOD! Forget what I said! Go dance with him!’ Gemini yelled with excitement.

'Yaah! Dance with him!’

'And step on his feet!’

The constellations in her head all yelled, encouraging her to go have some fun with her friend. She wasn’t very good at dancing, but Cagney was. She just had to let him lead and not step on his leaves.  Plus dancing was really fun and she really enjoy it.

She smiled shyly “Sure. I’ll try to step on you as much as I can,” she chuckled, standing up from her seat.

“Fair enough,” and with that, he led her to the dance floor.

Isabella finished her song and people clapped. “Thank you.” She kept smiling sweetly. “And after all this playing, I used to go dancing. I loove dancing, folks, but the music has to be… zazzie”  she shook her shoulders “You know what I mean? It’s gotta have that special thing that makes you want to shake it.” And so, she started singing. 

Cagney had danced since he was a sprout. Actual dancing did not spook him. Dancing in front of a crowd could give him the jitterbugs but that was okay because the jitterbug was still an acceptable dance style. But with Hilda, they had done some casual swing goofing around but this definitely had a different feel to it. Maybe it was because they were in nice clothes. At least that’s what he was telling himself.

There were other couples already on the floor and he blended in as best as a large plant could. Then again, he wasn’t the only non human so it wasn’t that off. He led her into dance as best as he could, and although yes, she did step on his leaves every now and then, for the most part she followed pretty well.

He was starting to feel more confident and soon they were both snorting and breaking out into quiet snorts and laughter.

Being so close to Cagney without the intention of smacking him made Hilda feel a bit awkward. But the more they danced, the more fun she had, and the more she realised this felt really nice, just her and him, shaking their bodies together. She almost forgot why they fought and felt sorry when she accidentally (most of the times) stepped on him.

“I can’t believe how bad you are at walking and how good you are at this.” She said, laughing and trying to keep up with his rhythm and this time avoiding his feet.

Cagney held Hilda tightly and was relieved when she stopped stepping on him. Heels beat stems any day, no matter how thorny the stem was. He was actually surprised his thorns hadn’t popped out already but realized that he wasn’t freaking out anymore. This was his zone, his expertise. Well other than extreme pollination and total domination.

He felt himself heat up at that thought. Shoot, wasn’t he thinking a few days ago that he and Hilda might actually head in that direction? And now he was here, with her slender body rubbing up against his, that dress flattering not just for her sharp personality but her rather attractive body. He swallowed. He still couldn’t believe he wrote that stupid letter.

But if he was telling the truth, it had been something he had daydreamed for a while now. And now he was trying to see if he could spend the night. He wasn’t sure if this made him a bad flower because he was trying to do this, or a good flower to save his friend from seeing the stuff he wrote about her. Or did that make him bad too?

A few minutes later as the song reached its end with an applause from the public, Hilda couldn’t help but feel really sad. She didn’t wanted to go back to talking! She wanted to be near him, laugh with him…maybe step on his toes again.

“Thank you! Thank you again!” Isabella started talking. “And at the end of the night, after all day laughing and having fun with my dear special friend…” she sighed “….there was always this moment where another gal came in and took him away from me,” she said angrily, a sad smile on her lips. She placed a hand on her hips. “And I never could tell him how I really felt…”. And with that, she began to sing a slow song.

Hilda looked at Cagney with a shy smile hoping they would keep dancing.

The song changed to a slow one and he realized he couldn’t keep just salsing to it. No, this one required…focus. Maybe he should sit this one out. He glanced down at Hilda and noticed she was smiling at him shyly. Was she feeling as awkward as he was? Somehow that made him feel better and he slowed his tempo down, trying to enjoy the moment, despite the sad undertones of the song playing.

Hilda danced close to him, appreciating the change in tone. She had been holding on to him tightly without realising it and leaned her head against his chest. The bat lady may rub the woman the wrong way, but Hilda had to admit her music was delightful (and strangely appropriate). It was setting a romantic mood between them, making her remember how she felt a few nights ago, under the stars.

He looked at Hilda. “Listen, Hilda, I want to apologize, ya know, for all the stupid shit I’ve done, that I’ve been doing and will probably do in the the future.”

She chuckled at Cagney. “Well, I will accept your apologies for what have you done, I’m not sure if I accept whatever you have been doing, aaand… I’m keeping my options open for what you may do in the future. Dancing on your leaves is kinda fun.”

He winced “Yeah, I’ve noticed. Think you could not use the heel so much when you stomp on them?” He chided, glad the woman was in a better mood.

He wondered how Hilda was doing. He had been drinking before she showed up and was starting to feel a bit light-headed from the latent effects of those alcoholic beverages. Part of him wanted to sleep, ideally at Hilda’s place.

Shoot, he still had to see about spending the night before the alcohol really hit. But another quick observation of Hilda made him hesitate. She looked like she was having fun. He decided to enjoy the closeness for now. He could ask after this song.

“You know, I only wear high heels when I know I might end up dancing with you,” Hilda smirked, interrupting the flower’s thoughts. They kept dancing, bodies pressing together, moving softly to the rhythm. Hilda’s bruises hurt a little with the closeness, but she felt the pain was worth it. Or maybe the alcohol was starting to numb her a little.

She faced Cagney. looking him straight in his eyes, full of alcoholic confidence. She was about to lean towards his lips, but the sound of applause brought her back from her thoughts.

“Thanks, everybody! We’re going to take a break to freshen up a little, but we’ll be back with more jazzy tunes to accompany your memorable evening!” Isabella called from the stage, blowing a kiss, and the rooster from before accompanied her offstage.

Hilda looked around to hide the fact she was as red as a tomato and cleared her throat. “W-we should go back.”

Hilda’s discomfort immediately jarred him from the spell of the singing and he nodded. “Yeah, I could use the break from being trampled,” he attempted to joke, trying not to show that he was starting to get nervous without the music before heading back to the table.

–

During her time on stage, Isabella caught the memorable scent of the carnation but she wasn’t certain. When the rooster helped her down, she decided ask to be sure.

“Say, is there a giant flower among the public tonight? A carnation?” She asked in her notorious sweet tone.

The rooster took a quick look and it didn’t took him long to spot Cagney. It was rare to see any flowers at the club this time of the evening.

“Well, yes there is. Doesn’t look much of a carnation, but it’s the only flower I see,” the rooster answered. “Want me to take you to him?”.

“Oh, that’s very sweet of you, darling. But I can find my way,” she smiled and walked slowly, avoiding any obstacles as she followed the smell of the giant flower.

–

As the two sat down, Cagney remembered the plan. Right. He had to retrieve that letter. “Hey, Hilda, I was thinking, about the other night…do you think you’d want to still do that, you know, have a sleepover or something?” He tried to suggest. He paused, “Ya know, with like sleeping bags or something,” he added quickly, not wanting her to think he was directly asking to sleep with her…not that he would be totally averse to that, mind you.

The constellation’s inside Hilda’s head were still going wild from the dance!

'Why didn’t you kiss him?’

'It’s alright! Just take your time, we don’t want to rush this!’

'You barely stepped on him!’

'It was perfect!’

'Not quite… it’s full of people in her~ ’

But at the question, all the voices stopped before screeching in unison: 'He wants to stay over?!’

Hilda took a looong sip from her glass and the voices grew silent. That felt good. She really needed to think this through. He made it sound like an innocent sleepover among friends, but after their slow dance, she wasn’t so sure.  She had to ask him and clear the air once and for all.

“Cagney~?”

“Well, hello there, Mr. Flower,” a familiar sweet voice interrupted her. “Didn’t know hippies like to swing,” Isabella chuckled. Hilda glared at the bat and gulped down the rest of her half full glass, turning her cheeks a bit more red.

His petals flared instinctively at the voice. There was only one person who called him a hippie. He turned around to see Isabella standing, looking even better up close. How did someone blind know how to dress up so well? Or maybe she was just good looking in general and everything looked good on her?

He was starting to think it was the latter. He recovered and smirked. “That was some good singing, Isabella. I didn’t know you were working here.”

“Aw! thank you, darling,” the bat blushed. “I started yesterday, actually. Your friend Goopy helped me get the job!” Isabella gushed.

Hilda stared at both of them, trying to hide the fact she was really pissed for being interrupted AND ignored.

“Cool. Cool. Looks like that pompous ball has some talent after all.” Cagney was aware of Hilda being strangely quiet. “Hilda, you’ve met Isabella, right?” He prompted.

“Yeah, we have…” Hilda forced a smile and gestured to a waiter to bring her another drink.

“Dumnezeule! I’m so sorry, I didn’t hear you there!” Isabella said, wiggling her ears towards Hilda. “Am I interrupting?” She asked innocently, assuming from what she talked with Goopy that they were talking about the dome incident.

“We’re just hanging out,” Cagney attempted to explain, still not 100% sure they were on a date. “We might be going soon though?” His statement came out more as question, looking toward Hilda for any affirmation of this.

Hilda looked at Cagney a bit surprised, she was hoping to dance a few more songs, but then again,they were here to talk about their friendship. This wasn’t a date. It might look like one. It certainly felt like one. But it wasn’t.

Was it?

She though it might be better to talk about it on their way to… her place, maybe. “Eh…yeah, I guess we should be go~.”

“Oh no! I was hoping to get to dance with Cagney.” Isabella regrettably admitted. She didn’t get close just to get some juice for her gossip, but also wanted to test her tour guide’s dancing skills.

“Just one! Please?” She begged, using her enticing voice. Even Hilda looked at her a bit saddened for a moment, until she remember why she made a storm the other day and decided to focus on her new drink.

An evil smirked appeared on her face. The bat was blind, that wasn’t a problem for singing, but dancing? She could already see Isabella making a fool of herself, stepping clumsily on Cagney’s already sensitive leaves.

“I know exactly what we can dance to, I just have to tell the band real quick! Please?” The singer insisted, getting closer to him. Hilda didn’t like that gesture, but decided to encourage Cagney anyway.

“Aww… c'mon Cags! Show her what you got!” She couldn’t contain her devilish smile.

Cagney was definitely surprised by Hilda’s change in tone. He could have sworn she was a bit reserved about the bat but by the way she was goading them on, he must have been mistaken. Maybe after this, then they could talk a bit more about where they saw this going.

Now with Hilda’s insistence, he smiled craftily. “Alright, I better hope your dancing is as good as your singing cause I’m not gonna hold back on you.” He offered a bat a leaf to go to the floor so she could tell them her song selection

Seeing Cagney all confident made Hilda grin even more. This was going to be fun to watch!

Isabella held on to the flower’s arm and told the band she wanted to dance to ’Tom Tom Swing Combo’.The musicians waited for the dancers to get in place before they started playing.

Isabella decided to let Cagney lead so she could measure his level.

Cagney heard the boom and bang on the instruments and his eyes lit up. He bumped and grooved to the beat, maneuvering Isabella through sways and turns, expecting any second for the bat to step on his feet like Hilda had.

Hilda kept smiling and enjoyed seeing the giant flower shaking it to the rhythm of the beat. He sure knew what he was doing… and apparently so did the bat!

At first, Isabella was letting herself get dragged by the carnation but soon enough she picked up the pace and started to accompany and accentuate Cagney’s movements to the point where it actually looked like a rehearsed dance.

Isabella was having so much fun. Every time Cagney made her do something, she managed to embellish the pose: if he made her turn, she would do extra turns positioning her free wing in diagonal so it would look like a spiral going up her body; if he toss her on a side, still holding her hand, she would spread her wing at the right moment to make it look more impressive.

Cagney’s cautious attitude had turned to one of bemusement as the bat managed to keep rhythm and time. As the dance continued, he couldn’t help but feel legitimately surprised when she even added her own flair to each move he threw at her.

When they were close, Cagney could hear a very soft chirping coming from his partner. She was using her echolocation to measure the distance between them and, therefore, avoid crashing into him.

Hilda couldn’t believe her eyes. At some point they were so coordinated they even managed a tandem charleston. There was no trace of that evil grin anymore. This plan really backfired.

With they finally finished what was probably one of Cagney’s more demanding performances, the club broke into thunderous applause. He couldn’t help but grin a bit goofily, the alcohol making him somewhat impervious to any weird giddiness from performing in front of an audience of unknowns.

Hilda decided she needed some air and stepped outside the club before the dancers returned to the table.

“Alright, you did good, kid,” he admitted to Isabella, “And that chirping thing you were doing, that was like echolocation or something? That was pretty cool.” Hilda was a fan of science shit and that would probably be pretty cool. “Man, Hilda would get a kick out of that. Let me just…just…” He looked toward the table and froze when he saw it was an empty.

“I haven’t danced like that in years!” Isabella said, recovering her breath.

Hilda was gone. When had she left? Had he done something wrong? Was this whole night a bust? Maybe she had gone to the restroom? No, all her stuff was gone. Why did she leave? He couldn’t figure it out even as he continued holding Isabella’s claws.

Wait.

His eyes apprehensively widened. Here he was, holding another woman’s hand in a bar. Hilda hadn’t thought he was into the bat, did she? Isabella was really pretty and sassy, sure, but Hilda was the ultimate woman he really wanted to put his leaves around.

“Shit,” he quickly swore, giving Isabella’s claw a hurried pat before letting go, “I’ll be right back.” He dropped some coins on the table before darting outside.

Suddenly her partner patted her hand and left in a rush. “Wha~ wait!” She called but it was too late, Cagney had rushed out of the club.

The singer’s ears drooped in disappointment, hoping that he would return to explain. Although, she suspected it might have something to do with her….

Outside, Hilda was sitting on a big branch of a nearby tree. She had her arms crossed and was looking at her stars. She noticed some mistakes in her star placement which only made her feel worse about herself.

Cagney glanced around outside but didn’t see her. “Hilda?” He called.

Cagney’s voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked down. Man, he looked good in that outfit. She cleared her throat (and mind) and waved at him.

“Hey! Up here, Romeo. What happened with Juliet?” The woman said, annoyed by how badly this night was turning.

Shit. It WAS related to Isabella. Which he was probably gonna have to go explain things to after this. But hadn’t Hilda pushed him to go dance with her in the first place?

He crossed his arms, slightly irritated. “We finished our dance and then you took off. Why’d you tell me to go dance with her if you weren’t going to stick around?”

He bristled slightly at a new thought but kept it to himself for now. He waited to hear Hilda’s response

“I saw your dance, you pea brain…. it was pretty impressive,” She hated to admit, “I just needed some air.” She turned to look at the stars again, hiding her guilt. It was her fault they danced and that was eating her up.

Cagney huffed, “Alright, well I gotta go back and explain why I just left Isabella in the middle of the dance floor. Are you gonna disappear or are you going to stay here?”

He watched her carefully, the thought really eating at him now to see how she’d answer. He had a feeling she wasn’t telling the truth but he wasn’t sure about what. His initial thought of it being jealousy had been pushed aside when he remembered she had told him to do it in the first place. Jealous people didn’t do things like that, right? No, they didn’t. He thought.

He was getting deceived in some way though. Had she told Cagney to go dance so she could leave and meet up with someone else, hoping he would remain distracted. Was it Carl? She answered quite evasively about him before.

“Yeah sure, I’ll wait here,” Hilda sighed. “Oh! Shit! I forgot to pay~ no, you know what? You pay. Least you can do for breaking my dome”.

She would have punched herself right in the mouth if she could. She was just mad at herself but, somehow, she wanted to release it all on Cagney. Maybe she wanted Cagney to be mad at her so she had a reason to be mad at him, and therefore justify her being angry at herself?

She had to take a few minutes to understand what she just thought.

“Fine!” Cagney agreed and walked back inside.

—

Isabella decided to wait at the bar and refresh herself with a lemonade when Cagney reentered the club.

He flagged the waiter and paid the rest of the tab. He caught sight of Isabella at the bar. He groaned, and approached her, taking a seat next to her. “Hey, it’s me, Cagney. Sorry about vanishing on you. Hilda up and disappeared, and I, well, she’s doing okay, just cooling off. I guess it’s too warm in here or something. Can I get you something?” He offered

Isabella smiled tenderly and raised her glass “I’m good.” She took a sip “I… I apologize for interrupting your date,” she said sweetly.

At the mention of the date, Cagney rolled his eyes. He looked to the bartender, “Hey, bartender, can you get me a whiskey shooter or something?”

As the bartender made up the drink, the flower sighed. “Yeah, I’m not sure if that is what it is at the moment…”

“Oh, c'mon.” She softly punched his arm “The small fights just makes the making up sweeter,” she smiled, not understanding that they weren’t officially dating. “As Annette Hanshaw used to sing 'happiness comes double, after a little pain… ” Isabella sang sweetly the verses “…If you want the rainbow, you must have the rain”.

“I broke her observatory. So it’s not just the rain, it might as well hail.” He pulled his petals. “That dome cost a fortune to replace. And I definitely don’t have anywhere close to fixing it.”

“Sorry, all we got is honey whiskey, is that gonna work for you?” The bartender asked, setting a glass down.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Cagney chuckled picking up the glass. “I didn’t know Rumor was branching out into the liquor business. Then again, she got the resources for it. Probably the only one on the Isles who’d have the cash to fix the dome too,” he mused, thinking more about this than he normally would.

He chugged the liquor and coughed, his thoughts interrupted by the fact that this was a lot more powerful than he thought.

Isabella listened to Cagney choke, a bit surprised to hear him being so open to her. The alcohol must have loosened his tongue. She’d have to remember to ask more about that Rumor character…

So much gossip! But no! This wasn’t the time to think about that. This looked more than just a simple fight. “If you can’t afford to pay for it, at least assist her into getting one. You have any contacts? Somebody who might know somebody?”

“Maybe,” he admitted, “Djimmi and Rumor might…” He blinked. “Wait, shit, Hilda’s still outside,” he realized. Oh crap he probably should get going to her before she thought he was ditching her and not the other way around. He got up unsteadily. “It was nice seeing you again,” he said, holding out an unsteady hand.

The bat noticed the flower standing up with some trouble as she heard his stool scrape along the floor. “You need help getting to the door?” She chuckled, not realising he extended his hand to her.

Cagney remembered that Isabella was blind. “I think I’m good, just gotta not lose my feet…” He mumbled, pulling his hand back and pointing down at his feet.

Isabella listened to the carnation walk away, taking his flowery scent with him. She turn to her drink and sighed. Last time she danced like that was with Mina’s father, long time ago. “Waiter, put some of that honey liquor in here, please…”

–

Carl was not having any luck this evening. He was really hoping there’d be one lonely lady here in the club tonight but so far no such luck. He had been hanging near the sides, away from the dance floor, feeling a bit sorry for himself before he finally decided to try the bar again.

This time he was in luck. It was the singer from earlier this evening! Sitting alone and looking rather melancholy. Carl puffed up his chest. That’s because she had never met Carl before. Every lady felt better when they met Carl. He sauntered over to the empty seat next to the bat. “Miss,” he greeted, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I wanted to tell you that you have the voice of an angel!”

The bat turned her head towards his direction. “Aw, thank you, darling. You’re enjoying your evening so far?” She said sweetly taking a sip of her drink.

Carl blushed at being called darling. “I most certainly am now that you’ve shown up. I was worried it was going to be a regular night but you’ve brought some life into this place with your charm,” he sweet talked, motioning the bartender to bring him something.

Isabella chuckled, still sitting at the bar, “Well aren’t you the sweet talker. Your companion must be so happy with you”.

“Oh! You flatter me so! I’m afraid I don’t have a companion with me this evening. I realize that might be quite the shocker for a bug of my type,” he 'humbly’ explained, taking advantage of the fact that she was blind by glancing at her legs.

–

Hilda hopped down from the branch with the help of her cloud and was now leaning against the tree with her arms crossed, waiting for him to return. She managed to calm herself down, only to get pissed again thinking of the reasons why Cagney was taking so long.

–

Cagney got to the door before he stopped. Shit, had he paid the bartender? Last thing he needed was to get banned from a place because he didn’t remember to pay. He started walking back, having to touch the wall to balance himself every now and then.

Cagney approached the bar and blinked. Huh, Isabella was still there. Maybe she was getting another drink? He glanced to the side and did a double take. “What the hell?” He muttered.

It was Carl. The stupid caterpillar he should have beaten the pulp out of a few days ago. His eyes widened. Oh man, those thoughts earlier of Hilda distracting him…were those true?! She must have planned on meeting up with this idiot when he was on the floor with Isabella.

He watched the bug check out the bat lewdly and his eyes narrowed. Yeah, no, this was not going to work for him. He walked toward them, realizing he was about to cause a problem.

Carl was unaware of the danger. He looked up from his incredibly long look. “A lovely woman such as yourself, surely you’re not alone here?”

Isabella realised she was dealing with a narcissistic Casanova, it wasn’t the first and would probably not be the last.

She got the scent of the carnation again and wiggled her ears to try to identify where was he coming from. She smiled at the caterpillar. “I’m not anymore.” And she turned toward Cagney’s direction. “Forgot something, partner?”

Carl blinked in surprise as she looked away. He could have sworn she was blind. He turned to greet her friend only to pale. “Oh…nut berries,” he managed before Cagney slammed a hand down next to the caterpillar.

“Hope you got a good look, Carl, because that might be the last thing you see when I’m through with you,” Cagney snarled, holding back the urge in him to drive his hands through the floor and transform.

“I, oh, just this is all just a misunderstanding,” Carl babbled.

Cagney loomed dangerously over the caterpillar. “So, you and Hilda planning on meeting up here together to make an idiot out of me, is that the misunderstanding?” He growled, slamming his hand next to the bug again.

The bat got startled by the noise and decided it was better to move away from it, so she slid to the seat next to her. Cagney sounded really angry, she thought would be best not to say anything and hear how this plays out.

Oh man! She had so much to tell Goopy tomorrow.

Carl had no idea what the carnation was talking about. “Hilda? Who’s Hilda? You mean the woman from the Clip Joint?”

“Hey!” The rooster approached them. “You got a problem, take it outside,” he pointed toward the door with his feathery thumb.

Isabella wasn’t sure what to do, but she did have similar experiences in the past so she kept her distance. “ Eh.. Cagney, maybe you should go 'talk’ outside…”

–

Hilda was livid “How long does it take to pay a tab! Is he washing the dishes or something?” She yelled and walked towards the club.

–

Cagney stared down at the insect, ignoring the bat. “Really? Cause she said you two were good friends!” He argued.

Carl shook his head. “No, no! I hardly know her!”

Cagney blinked. “What? Why were you with her then?”

“She was just some drunk, dumb girl!”

Cagney leered. “She’s not dumb, say that again and I’ll turn you into fertilizer.”

“She wanted me to come back to her place to make her friend jealous!” He confessed, doing his best to look small.

Cagney snorted. “What friend? All you did was come by my…field…” He stopped. Wait a second. Things were starting to click into place. Had Hilda tried to make him jealous? Why the hell would she be trying to make him jealous unless…she liked him.

Carl took advantage of the hesitation to discreetly use one of his many hands to reach behind him to grab a glass to chuck at the very confused carnation. “Yes, all her idea! Not mine at all! I was just planning on walking her back to her place! I definitely wasn’t going to spend the night!” He stalled, his fingers wrapping around the glass. He would claim self defense even though Cagney hadn’t actually touched him yet.

--

Hilda entered the club and looked around for the giant flower. She frowned to see him at the bar with Isabella and… was that Carl? Looked like Cagney was threatening him, and everybody was starting to stare at them. She rushed towards them. “Cagney!”

Cagney turned at the sound of Hilda’s voice and was about to ask her what the hell was going on between her and Carl when something hard broke against the back of his head and he fell to his knees.

Carl stood behind him triumphantly, dropping the broken bottle at his feet. “Ha! Who’s the idiot now?!” He yelled.

The bartender glanced over the counter. “You…just broke a bottle of 30 year old Scotch,” he mentioned.

The mole owner, who had been watching from the sidelines anxiously, nearly passed out in horror.

Carl froze. “Uh…”

The bat covered her mouth in surprise, not daring to move. Hilda’s jaw dropped and looked at Cagney on the floor starting to bleed, or… the equivalent of bleeding for a plant.

Her eyes lit up and she glared angrily at Carl. “You son of a bitch,” she said softly, covering herself in thick mist and letting Taurus take over. “YOU’RE DEAD!” Her voice sounded like thunder all over the club.

The rooster got to Isabella and quickly guided her to the exit. “No! Wait! I want to know how it ends!” The singer said trying to remain where she was, but the rooster saw the bull was thrusting towards the bar and pulled Isabella away with him.

Carl didn’t think this was how his day was going to go. He woke up this morning, did his morning routine of stretches and yoga with the girls, then went for a stroll around the meadows. He had planned on cocooning soon and wanted to come out to celebrate, and possibly bring back a lucky lady he could boast to. He thought for sure his news would just draw women to him.

Having Hilda charge him as a bull was not what he had in mind and he jumped over the bar with a scream.

Cagney was seeing stars on the ground and could feel something trickling off of him. Was that his blood? Or was that the Scotch? He had no idea but was too dizzy to check. He could hear Hilda yelling and he was really really hoping she wasn’t going for him because there’s not much he could have done about it.

Taurus destroyed half of the bar with one powerful thrust, sending shards of wood and glass everywhere. People screamed and ran towards the exits. “Stop hiding, you worm!” The constellation yelled, “This is how you go! I’ve seen it in the stars! Hahaha!” The bull said with a manic laugh.

Carl was not a fighter. He felt like one when he knocked the flower down but now this was definitely out of hand. He made a dash for the door as Cagney finally recovered, pulling himself back up with a groan and a swear.

Hilda, well, Taurus noticed the caterpillar making a run for the door and saw Cagney standing up. He was afraid he would trample over his friend if he tried to charge again.

“Hey, giant dandelion! He’s getting away!” He said, hoping the flower was still aware of what was going on.

Cagney looked toward Tauros very confusedly. “What?” His words sunk in and the carnation looked to see Carl bolting. He tried to plant his arms but they hit the wood floor and he hissed in pain. “Ow, ow!” He groaned.

Guess he was running it then. He chased after Carl and managed to snag the bug outside of the club, right next to the tree Hilda had been on before.

Carl squeaked. “Wait, wait, don’t hurt me!”

The carnation huffed angrily. “Think just cuz someone can’t see, you can pull those stunts?”

Perfect! They were outside the club. Taurus followed them making the clouds that formed him more dense until it covered his entire body. Once outside, the cloud revealed a handsome centaur already pointing his arrow at the caterpillar. “Goodbye, CaaAAaarl!” he mocked, and with another terrifying laugh, he shot his arrow.

Unfortunately, Hilda was a bit intoxicated, so his arrow missed the target and pinned the caterpillar to the tree by his clothes.

“Oh, shucks… I was aiming for the head!” Sagittarius lamented, not realizing that both men froze at the thudding of the arrow by their heads.

Carl freaked out. “No! My mom is gonna kill me if I wreck this suit!” He lamented.

Cagney, leaned against the tree next to the caterpillar, trying to look both cool and to keep himself standing despite the fact that Sagittarius’ arrow nearly scared the sap out of him too. “You’re worried about your MOM killing you? I’d worry more about your friend here murdering you with arrows,” Cagney spat.

Carl shook his head. “Definitely not my friend! I hardly know her!”

Cagney blinked. Oh yeah. Carl was blabbering about this in the bar. He turned on Sagittarius with a hard look. “So, Carl and I were having a friendly chat in the club-”

“Friendly?! You were slamming the-” Carl protested but a glance at the arrow pinning his suit to the tree kept him quiet.

Cagney continued. “And he says you’re not his friend and that night you guys went by my field was del-delib- on purpose!” He stuttered, alcohol making his word choice difficult.

He pointed to the caterpillar. “But maybe he’s lying. Why don’t you prove me wrong and tell me what his favorite color is? Or how about his last name?”

The centaur rolled his eyes. “Oh! Enough with the charades! Hilda is in loaaAAAh ..” Sagittarius held his head in pain and white smoke started to cover his body again. When the cloud dispersed, Hilda was standing there with her hands on her head, breathing heavily.

“Cagney! He broke a God damn bottle on your head! Why isn’t he dead already?!” She yelled, hoping the carnation would focus on hurting the caterpillar instead of interrogating him.

Cagney pointed at the caterpillar still. “What’s his last name, Hilda?”

Hilda cringed feeling how her cheeks turned redder than usual. “It’s… hmmrrrssss…. Smith. He’s Carl Smith,” she decided to go with what she thought was a very common last name.

Carl gaped at her. “What? Smith?! What type of name is Smith?! You don’t even know my last name and you invited me over to sleep with you?!”

Cagney slammed the tree and the caterpillar squeaked into silence. Shit, he was really hoping the caterpillar was lying. But judging by how red Hilda’s face was, he didn’t think so. His chest ached at the thought. “You were going to sleep with him?” He asked, looking more hurt than upset.

“WHAT?!” She was livid now and got closer until she was facing Carl “The fuck are you saying?!” She yelled angrily “I never said I was going to sleep with you! You filthy worm!”

She poked him hard on his chest. “I just wanted THIS idiot to be jealous!” She pointed at Cagney with her thumb and turned to him still blushing. “There! I said it! I wanted to make YOU jealous! Happy now?! Can we go back being friends again?!” Her eyes were starting to get wet. “Please…” she said softly. This sentimental stuff really wasn’t her thing.

Cagney was taken aback by Hilda’s outburst. Carl might have been talking but he wasn’t listening. So it was true. Hilda was trying to make him jealous. Because maybe she liked him as much as he liked her?

But that last line, that emotional one from the normally smart mouthed woman really nailed him in the chest and his plant heart hurt. “Can I do one thing first before we go back to being friends?” He asked.

“Wha~… yeah?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, thanks,” he mumbled, walking over to her. He swallowed hard and before Hilda could say anything more, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her into a rough kiss.

The woman didn’t dare move. Her eyes went wide open and her heart skipped a beat. The constellations in her head were as shocked as her and remained silent.

Cagney finally broke from the kiss and looked deep into her eyes. He opened his mouth to say something only to stop and hold up a finger. “Gimme a sec,” he managed. He stumbled away from her and threw up behind the tree.

Hilda was still paralyzed and just stood there, looking at the carnation emptying his stomach. A shy silly smile drew on her face and she completely forgot about Carl, Isabella, and the whole mess which made them get angry to begin with.

“I’m- I’m not throwing up cause of the kiss!” Cagney protested, climbing back to his feet unsteadily, gesturing to the club. “Alcohol doesn’t go well with being a plant.”

Carl just stared at the scene in front of him. This was how he was going to die, watching a murderous flower getting rejected by a murderous sky witch. There was no way any girl was gonna come back from that (he knows, he tried it before many times with women he just met)

Hilda’s smile grew bigger. She was about to make witty comment but was interrupted by the sound of police sirens getting closer. Reality brought back the woman from her happy cloud and made her realise they had to get out of there if they didn’t want to get in more trouble.

“Shit!” She cast a cloud big enough for the both of them. “Cagney, we gotta go! Hop on!” She extended her hand to help him get up.

“Aw man, not the cloud,” Cagney groaned, but he knew the last thing he needed was to spend a night in jail so he grabbed her hand and climbed onto the cloud.

She got closer to the caterpillar. “And YOU better keep your mouth SHUT!” She grabbed the arrow and waved it in front of him “Or next time I WON’T miss,” her bracelet glowed and the arrow disappeared in a puff.

Carl nodded hurriedly.

“Hold on tight!” Hilda waved her hands and the cloud flew towards the observatory.

Carl waited for the police to come. He glanced at the time. “Ah gee, my mom is gonna be so mad I missed curfew…”

———–

CHAPTER 01,  CHAPTER 02,  CHAPTER 03,  CHAPTER 04,  CHAPTER 05, CHAPTER 06,  CHAPTER 07,  CHAPTER 08,  CHAPTER 09,  CHAPTER 10; CHAPTER 11; CHAPTER 12 ; CHAPTER 13 ; CHAPTER 14  ; CHAPTER 15; CHAPTER 16 ; CHAPTER 17 ; CHAPTER 18 (You are here)

[auburnfamilynews]

The SEC’s weirdest rivalry may be what we need.

As we look forward to this afternoon’s Halloween matchup between Auburn and LSU, let’s go back several months and look at a possibility.

March 13th, 2020. Friday, March 13th, 2020.

That was kind of the day when this all hit the fan. Aside from being designated “World Sleep Day”, the news on that particular Friday was vast.

We’d just canceled basketball. Like, it was done. We wouldn’t get to see Auburn defend a conference tournament title and make a return to the NCAA Tournament. No more NBA, either.

Here’s a snippet of the headlines then:

It’s pretty much all bad news, and it’s continued that way for several months. No lie, 2020, and October in particular, have been long and tough.

So, how do we give this thing a hard reset? Can we power cycle it? Does that work?

When you finally get to this point, what can you do but be a little aggressive?

View post on imgur.com

And how does it get more aggressive than trying to combat the miasma of 2020 than by taking a visit to the old backwoods voodoo shop that Auburn and LSU co-own and operate.

Here we are, trying to find solutions for this pandemic and trying year, and the answer was here all along. Just let Auburn and LSU play. We should’ve done this months ago. Spring scrimmage. Best of seven. Apply the magic liberally.

We would’ve wiped this thing out by mid-April.

When you consider the facts, there’s no other way to approach this. Auburn and LSU have played the most unimaginable series in conference history, and the rivalry doesn’t even really date as far back as some other matchups.

Of particular note:

1988 - Stupid idiot Earthquake Game. LSU scores in the closing seconds and the bourbon-induced guttural moans triggered a flimsy seismograph across campus to register. Auburn’s only loss in the regular season. With a win, they would’ve played Notre Dame for a national title.

1994 - Ha! Stupid idiot Curley Hallman!

LSU quarterback Jamie Howard throws three pick sixes among his five interceptions in the fourth quarter, and Auburn erases a 23-9 deficit to win 30-26 and keep the winning streak alive.

1995 - Stupid idiot Phantom Whistle game. Patrick Nix got sacked for a safety when he heard a whistle from the stands and stopped during the play. Auburn loses 12-6.

1996 - Stupid idiot Barn Burning game. Literally a barn, not like “BARN CHEATIN”. Smoke billowed up from behind the student section but play continued. Auburn got screwed out of a touchdown when a Robert Baker catch was called incomplete. We lose 19-15.

1999 - Cigar Game. Auburn wins in Baton Rouge for the most recent time. Oh why does this number have to start with a 1?? Gross. Tommy Tuberville brings his guys back out onto the field to smoke cigars and curses the Auburn fortunes in Death Valley for decades to come.

2001 - 9/11 Game. Auburn/LSU is set for September 15th, but pushed back because of 9/11. LSU gets stronger as the season goes along, and thwacks us in Baton Rouge. Damon Duval fights a band member.

2004 - Hurricane Game. In the afterglow of Hurricane Ivan, Auburn upends the defending national champions with Jason Campbell’s last minute touchdown to Courtney Taylor. Nick Saban, Will Muschamp, and Jimbo Fisher are all on the LSU sideline.

2005 - Poor John Vaughn. Vaughn misses five field goals, including a doink in overtime to tie it, and Kenny Irons’ 200-yard day is wasted as Auburn loses again in Death Valley.

2006 - The Totally Not Pass Interference Officials Finally Made a Good Call Game. LSU gets unlucky with a controversial no-call on a play late in Auburn territory when Zach Gilbert and Eric Brock get entangled with an LSU receiver. Auburn stops LSU short of the goal line on the final play of the game to win 7-3. Oh, and an LSU fan doused our eagle with a drink and got arrested.

2007 - Les Miles Rabbit’s Foot Game. Instead of going for the easy field goal and certain win, Les Miles elects to throw to the end zone in the closing seconds. The pass is completed, when a bobble may have killed the clock. LSU loses twice during the regular season and still backdoors into the national championship.

2010 - Cam Newton Heisman Game. If the Iron Bowl cemented the Heisman that year for our large adult son, this was the game that vaulted him to the top of the polls. He runs for 217 yards and two scores, with one the scintillating affair where he dodges nearly every member of the LSU defense. Auburn goes to #1 in the country after this win and takes the national title a couple months later.

2016 - The You’re Fired Game. Loser of this game was pretty much guaranteed to fire the coach. Auburn gets six Daniel Carlson field goals and LSU appears to score the game-winning touchdown on the final play of regulation, but a review shows that the offense wasn’t set and the clock had run out before the snap. Les Miles gets fired the next morning.

2017 - Gus Hotseat Part 1,000. Auburn builds a 20-0 lead in Baton Rouge but tightens up and lets it slip away in the second half, falling 27-23. Auburn wins out in the regular season and wins the SEC West. This game, however, falls into one of the 3-4 most inexcusable losses under Gus Malzahn along with 2014 Texas A&M, 2016 Georgia, and 2018 Tennessee (and now 2020 South Carolina).

2018 - Pass Interference Revenge for LSU. Auburn blows another double digit lead and Joe Burrow leads a game-winning drive that culminates in a walk-off field goal for LSU and a 22-21 final score.

2019 - Nobody comes close to LSU in the regular season except for Auburn in Baton Rouge. In the end, a penalty on LSU allows LSU to run out the clock and preserve the win on the way to a perfect season.

See, if we’d just had a few of these happen in March, the Butterfly Effect of mojo would be more than capable of wiping out COVID, bringing back Kobe, dousing the wildfires, and doling out another round of stimulus checks to the country.

Or, we could be in for something truly epic tomorrow. Let’s consider the facts again.

Gone are the ultra-talented offensive cogs from last season for LSU. Heisman winner Joe Burrow, along with his trusty skill position players, most of his offensive line, and his wunderkind passing game coordinator are all in new spots (the NFL). Steve Ensminger is in charge of the show once again. Dave Aranda is leading Baylor, while people are laughing at Bo Pelini’s Baton Rouge buyout considering how poor the LSU defense has been this year.

They lost to Mike Leach, who hasn’t won another game yet. Think about that. MIKE LEACH MADE LSU WALK THE PLANK AND THEN DID SO HIMSELF. Mutually assured destruction from the Pirate. They also lost to Missouri and first year coach Eli Drinkwitz. LSU looked great against South Carolina, but that was at home, at night, where you can never pick against the Bayou Bengals unless you’re Troy.

Meanwhile... you know how this season has gone for Auburn.

Earlier this year, our own James Jones wrote a nice little ditty examining the history of BARN CHEATIN’. That only reviewed our controversial wins against the Tide after we were accused of nothing more than playing “gotchya and grabass” by the full diaper havers across the state.

Interesting only if you’re a mouthbreathing nitwit. Equitable if you’re the ones on the field trying to play actual football instead of gotchya and grabass. https://t.co/sum1sEFeXM

— Roll ‘Bama Roll (@rollbamaroll) April 22, 2020

Now, however, they may not be alone. Arkansas has joined Club Barn Cheatin’ —

I’m gonna be bitter for so long. In WHAT WORLD is that not a fumble!? WE WON THAT GAME pic.twitter.com/eGxwcFYlD9

— WoOoO Pig SpoOoOoky (@ArkansasFight) October 11, 2020

Then Ole Miss joined the group with these shirts and the sympathy of Alabama beat writers. It’s an alliance!

You can now grab yours today! : https://t.co/r4qq8zrpQR pic.twitter.com/W2cOnbQHWj

— Randy Jewel Morgan (@RebelNutt18) October 27, 2020

C’mon, you know we only cheat by funneling cash to star players through their family’s church and then strong-arming the NCAA into keeping them eligible by having a large yella man who likes to hit stuff with his own brand of 2x4s. Can’t you tell that’s how we run this game by all of the blue chip recruits we’ve gotten lately? Huh? Oh.

Anyway, Auburn has had some major buildup coming in the form of karma against LSU. The double digit leads blown over the past two years, with all the pass interference calls going against Auburn in 2018 are sure to somehow Yeerk their way into the back judge’s ear and force him to throw a flag on the purple Tigers. It’s going to happen. We’re going to get an all-SEC West alliance of Barn Cheatin’ going on in 2020.

Now, I’d love that, because it means we can win all of our division games, pissing off EVERYBODY and getting some victories while we’re at it in the year that doesn’t matter.

Let’s boil down the wild games in this series to a few choice words.

Photo finish. Last second. Controversial. Turnovers. Missed kicks. Poor clock management. Crowd involvement. Heisman winners. Natural disasters. Nicotine.

Now, to create the perfect outcome for tomorrow’s game, adding in Halloween and a full moon and a pandemic and the election.

Auburn and LSU will play a perfectly fun first half. There will be a bunch of points scored because neither defense is really all that good. LSU hits two or three big pass plays, and Auburn gets a breakaway run from Tank Bigsby and a long touchdown through the air. There will be a gadget play that works and one that blows up spectacularly. I have no designation on which team those happen to.

After halftime, it’s a close game, but LSU builds their lead in the third quarter with some defensive adjustments and another long pass play for a score. As the fourth quarter starts, Auburn trails by two scores. Then the turnovers happen. Whoever’s playing quarterback tomorrow will throw a pick, leading to a score for Auburn, and then in the final five minutes, Bo Nix and Tank Bigsby lead a methodical drive down the field and Auburn goes up by a point.

LSU will have a couple minutes left to salvage a win, needing only a field goal. They quickly move into range for the kick, but in their greed they go for the end zone from the Auburn 25. Offensive pass interference is called on a play where both the receiver and defender are hand-fighting, and the 15-yard penalty moves LSU back to where only a 57-yard field goal would win the game. With just five seconds left, Ed Orgeron trots out the kicking team, but the kick misses. Auburn roughs the kicker but doesn’t get called for it. Tigers (blue ones) win.

In the aftermath, Donald Trump criticizes Ed Orgeron for bad coaching on Twitter, and says that Big Ten football is way better (they love him in Iowa!). The southern states revolt and go blue. LSU joins Barn Cheatin’, Inc. and as a full moon sets on Halloween on the Plains, 2020 is put back in order.

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/10/30/21542277/auburn-lsu-and-the-case-for-resetting-2020

[chojimaru]

@officer--dimples

First thing first. Making a new post because of how insanely long the other one is. I apologize for not replying sooner. I will attempt to be civil with you here because you obviously put a lot of work writing this.I also won’t reply to every single topic but I will try to cover what the main points are.

First we must define Assault Rifle. An Assault rifle is capable of automatic fire, uses detachable magazines, uses an intermediate cartridge, and is used in the act of assault. Assault is a verb. A comb can be an assault comb if you attack someone with it. Intermediate cartridges are rather low powered. The rounds themselves are pretty bad at killing Human sized animals because of this. The M16 when first used in the Vietnam was hated by soldiers because it would poke holes in the enemy while the M14(which used a much stronger, heavier bullet) would kill a man in 1 or 2 shots(more on this later). Automatic weapons are extremely regulated in America. More regulated than all guns in Australia and Britain and most countries you are likely to see cited for their gun crime rates. Unpaid parking tickets, unpaid child support, a pending trial, a divorce, and even being put on trial and found innocent are all possible ways to be kept from owning an Automatic weapon. Many things can result in your weapon being taken away. You must always have the physical license from the ATF with the gun at all times. You can’t have it in the car in the parking lot when you are at the gun range. The ATF can inspect your house and take it away for no reason. You must have an approved gun dealer in your will who will take possession and usually destroy the gun when you die. You must destroy the gun under certain circumstances. An AR 15 is not an assault rifle. An M4 or M16 used in combat is.

Let me explain why the AR 15 is one of the best guns for self defense.

This is 5.45 bullet that has been cut in half. It’s not the bullet commonly used in AR 15s but it operates in the same manner. It has a hollow cavity in the tip. The basic function is that this bullet travels very quickly and the tip breaks as soon as it makes contact with anything. Whether it be a wall, an animal, a human, or a tree branch that tip caves in when it makes contact and the bullets flips like a kicked American football. This decreases the energy of the projectile by a lot. This means that a 5.56 or 5.45 are the best rounds to use in neighborhoods, apartment buildings, or in homes with children around. This bullet will hit drywall and be less deadly. A 9mm pistol bullet can go through an entire house. a .30-30 bullet commonly used to hunt deer can go through multiple apartments. You could hit a home intruder and a shotgun slug can go through him and into the neighbors house.

On the topic of hunting. AR 15s chambered in .300 Blackout are the premier way to dispatch our wild boar invasion in farm lands. Pigs can destroy millions of dollars in property, crops, and livestock damage. They are an enormous problem. AR15s are needed because they are light, quick, and not too bulky so a farmer can have one in his truck and use it as soon as he sees boars. AR15s in 5.56 are great for hunting other animals like skunks, raccoons, wolves, coyotes, and rabbits to name a few.

Moving on to the topic of fear. Fear is an emotion and is therefore relative. Right now I am feeling cold. If someone in a colder area like Alaska or Norway is standing in front of a warm fire place covered in thick blankets while a blizzard rages outside does it mean it is warmer in Alaska than in Texas? Of course not, it just means I need to put some socks on. You feel safe, good for you. I do too, good for me. I am not living in fear, I am hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I have canned goods because I once went with limited food for weeks during and after a hurricane. I drive a car with lots of safety features because I know people who died in car crashes. I brush my teeth because I know people in their 30s with dentures. I have a gun because my people were unarmed when they were murdered by their government. It’s one of the reasons my family came to this country and it’s one of the reasons those problems did not.

Regulations are great. I used the regulation that says food products need to be labeled with expiration dates today. I would have had some bad milk and been sick for hours without that. I don’t mind a government, but I do mind a lot of government. The police do not prevent crime, they arrest criminals after they have committed crimes. Look up what the average length of time it takes for police to arrive on scene in your area. The answer, no matter, what is too long. In the time it takes you for to pull out your phone, dial, the operator to respond, and the police to drive is less than it takes for a human to be beaten, kidnapped, murdered. 5 minutes may be ok if you call them because someone was spray painting a wall, but that is not ok if your friend is bleeding out. Literally in this recent case that no doubt inspired OPs post, an armed policeman stood outside of the school mere feet from the shooter and did nothing as people died. Your government does not care about you and they do not protect you. They try, but they fail too.

“Please educate me, if I get this wrong: you want to defend yourself with a gun. Why is that? Because you fear that one could attack you with the gun they are allowed to carry, right? You want a gun bc others have a gun”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUk3HEqjf8c

This is Dutch MMA fighter Alistair Overeem. He is 6′3 and in his prime was 3% body fat and weighed 280 pounds. He is famous for his ability to get knocked out in devastating fashion. He’s a good fighter despite this, but hitting him in the right spot just puts him to sleep. Him and his brother(a less skilled, less fit mma fighter who has more knockout losses than some UFC champs have fights) once beat the living shit out 5 security guards armed with clubs. The five guards needed emergency care, Allistair hurt his hand because he punched a guy in the face and cut himself with his victims teeth. In a different incident he pushed a lady and with one hand sent her flying and she was injured after hitting some poles. Would you fight this man? I know it’s a extreme, he’s bigger and more well trained than 99.99% of the world but a guy even half as big and half as skilled and with twice the ability to make a punch would you say with confidence you could fight him off? Let’s think of someone else. Do you have an elderly person in your life or a very young person? A 5 year old nephew, a 70 year old grandparent? Not to mention any disabled people in your life. Maybe even people who are currently sick with the common cold or have a stubbed toe or pregnant or dealing with period cramps right now. Do you think you could beat Allistair Overeem in a 1 to 1 fight? Do you think every single person you care about could beat him at any given moment? If a man that big and even a fraction as skilled came into your home would you be ok? Would the police respond in time? The answer is no because even if you managed to call the police before he was face to face with you he has choked people until they fainted or knocked them out in less than a minute despite them being his size, strength, nearly his level of skill, and fully prepared to fight him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, do you think you, barring any personal thoughts and restraints could stop him if he attacked you and you had a weapon whether it be a gun or a taser or pepper spray? Which would you pick? Should training martial arts, taking steroids, and lifting weights become illegal?

“Let me tell you a secret: if the other isn’t allowed to own a gun, you don’t need a gun” Allowed is the keyword. Allowed is very different than has or owns or uses. In America we are a free people. My government doesn’t allow me to do things. We allow the government to do things. We allow the government to tax us, we allow the government to operate, and we allow the government to arrest and punish people who do certain actions. You have defined what freedom means to you. That is not freedom but you are free to think that way and to desire your life be that way.

On the topic of race and countries of origin and all that let me just go on a little tangent here. My Dad’s side is white, Norwegian mostly but I have a great grandma who’s ancestors were in the original US Navy under the great John Paul Jones. The cannons on said ship were privately owned as were all the small arms. They even had a gun that shot multiple bullets in a row. It wasn’t as advanced as an M60 machine gun but it was considerably faster than a musket. These people knew inventions were coming that would do things more effectively. Whether it be better ships, better guns, or better way of communication. You believe the change of technology should effect the right to bear arms. Do you believe the government should restrict speech? Do you believe people should be incarcerate for speech? If so, what kind of speech? Do you think it would be ok if in 20 years you holding that opinion became illegal and that put you in jail?

Finally let’s talk about guns and swimming pools and cars. Swimming is a recreational activity, exercise, sport, and therapy. Cars are transportation, sport, and hobbies. Guns are also used in sports, hobbies, exercise, recreational activities, and therapy. Earlier this month a friend told me a child in her neighborhood(a three year old) fell into a swimming pool and drowned. Last year a guy in a truck ran over and killed a lot of people in London. Last week a guy with a gun killed a lot of students at a school and at that same event a policeman with a gun stood outside without confronting him. Should we attach floaties to every child? Should we outlaw trucks? Should we outlaw guns? Sorry for any spelling errors.

[mechagalaxy]

John T Mainer 28840: Care and Feeding of a Penner

Care and Feeding of a Penner

Much is said about the overwhelming superiority of the Novum. A 25ton creation of the long lost adversaries of the Forerunners, its ressurection by the mad genius Tory has been the talk of Mecha Galaxy as its has quickly proven to be the deadliest mecha under fifty tons in human controlled space. It hits harder and faster than anything mankind or the Forerunners ever created. While this was the pinnacle of mecha potential in the light class of mecha, it took the genius of one of Mecha Galaxy's greats to create its dark mirror, a super heavy with the same brutal elegance and synergistic amplification of effect that the Novum produces.

The late Mark Penner of Omega and Zeon fame was ahead of the curve of technology, for his vision of the future of Ultra Heavy mecha required elements that did not yet exist. His death caused those notes and designs he had already assembled to fall into the hands of the Craftsmen. What was beyond the Forerunners, what remained beyond humanity, was not beyond them. Building upon his genius, they made his design possible, and what is more replicateable.

The Penner is not for junior pilots. Its machine intelligence was taken from a mirror of Mark Penner taken in the heat of one of his extended defenses in King of the Mountain. The mind of one of the elite pilots of Mecha Galaxy in a situation in which there are no friendlies, and everything that moves or stays still suspiciously is a valid target and there are no bystanders (ANN and Galaxy Gathering reporters have learned to arrive in mecha or leave in baggies filled by weight). This is not a pirate hunting machine, not a careful and strategic Clan War competitor, this is a berserker with chainguns for hands and enough targeting sensors and EM/ECM/ECCM feeds to overwhelm all but the most experienced and mentally balanced pilots with the flood of kill urge and target information.

Lets have a look at what this beast brings to the table before being equipped. Fully developed the Penner brings the following to the table.

Critical kill 10% 1.3x 30% 1.5x 30% 2x 30% 3x 30% Projectile +98% Precision 12 Dodge 6 Shield 150 Reflect 14% Med Bot 4

Cockpit slots 8 Chassis slots 7 Engine slots 8 Shield slots 6 Weapons every 2.5 levels

For members of the 300 club, this is a Dakka factory, you resemble an NRA wet dream where every free surface mounts a gun, targeting sensor or ammo bin. For members of the 400 club, you look like a Dakkagasm, a being entirely composed of gun mounts and red burning eyes above a howling and hungry mouth, a back swollen with a backpack composed of cellular ammunition storage tanks like missile silos, whose massive weight is required not just to hold the huge ammunition requirements of 110 tons of walking cannon, but to keep the mecha from falling face first as the mass of cannons on its front make it somewhat tippy.

This is the only machine in Mecha Galaxy that is designed to be stable ONLY when firing. The Penner is only happy when it is shooting high mach level guass rounds of various calibers, spraying death in front of it and brass casings behind; it is also only balanced when several tons of recoil are compressing the huge buffer systems, simultaneously powering its amplifiers and correcting its innate tendency to tip forward.

The recoil buffers are Penner's true genius. Unlike traditional systems that try to bleed off the recoil energy, keeping only a fraction to power the ammunition feeds of the guns themselves, the Penner absorbs rather than channeling into backblast. Every cannon cocker from the Imech to the Dreadnought or Justicar vents the backblast of the explosives of the initiating charge and plasma from the guass acceleration out the back to balance the recoil forces of the multiple foot-tons of force produced by the 90 point plus base damage weapons of the more potent cannons. The Penner does not. The Penner absorbs all that force into its niode-crystal torsion matrix, where the induced torsion of the crystal produces an energy that can be returned to the gun systems to amplify the discharge power by several magnitudes. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of one of these 1.3x 1.5x 2x 3x damage stacking blasts can tell you just how much of a game changer this is. A potato armed Penner can knock a Reaper on its ass.

Why hasn't anyone tried this before? Well Evil Santa pulled it off with his elves, and on Charon IV the Clark Federation attempted it. The low grade nuclear explosion that took out their research station on that world was the last attempt to use this technology. Without active energy matrix stabilization, the torsion-crystal energy absorption system has a tendency to fail catastrophically, leaving a thirty meter crater. The AI in the Penner instinctively balances the energy field in the crystal torsion matrix, allowing the niode core to channel all the power into the weapon charging systems seamlessly, balanced to supercharge rather that fry the guass accelleration systems of cannons, and to a lesser extent focusing elements of laser and plasma systems, magnetic launch assist for missiles and ice nano weapons.

Side effects of the energy absorbtion system are noted in the Penners defensive statistics. The recoil compensation system functions by absorbing incoming energy and channeling it back. This translates into a built in energy reflection rate of 14% and shrugs off the first 150 points of any hit as just a mild aid in keeping the mecha from tipping forward. Negative side effects of the system are that it does limit the amount of external shielding modules the system can employ (only six units at maximum development) and the extensive threading of the limbs with the linked buffer systems somewhat limit the chassis augmentation, with a maximum of seven units at full development.

The need to stop your Penner from slaughtering everything including your own command occupies a lot of the Penner pilots neural bandwidth. At low levels of development this imposes a -25 speed penalty. It should be noted that this is far less severe than having a contract on your life issued by the major governments of the land because you wiped out a shopping complex because your Penner detected a camera phone range finder and leveled a quarter acre of mall in reaction. As your Penner develops, a total of eight cockpit modules are able to link to the AI to help deal with the information overload and somewhat moderate the insane kill urge of the Penner to usable levels. Outside of the direct benefits of the cockpit modules themselves, this has the side effect of returning +23 of the -25 speed lost to the requirement to keep the gun loving fun machine from going full berserker outside the safety of King of the Mountain, the only true free fire zone in Mecha Galaxy.

Like the Novum, the speed of the Penner has to be seen to be believed. Everyone knows the Novums are insanely fast, but like the Penner their technical speed is only part of the truth of their functional speed. Both these designs grow guns at insane rates. The Penner grows guns at a rate of one per two and a half levels. Two guns per five levels. Forty guns per hundred levels, as opposed to twenty for the Surt or 33 for Specter or Xango. With eight engine amplifiers possible at full development, and growing more guns per level than any other mecha in its weight class the Penner has an overwhelming likelihood of firing first. Given its huge damage stacking capacity, and built in critical kill, even before any of its cockpit, chassis and engine system bonuses are added, the ability to fire first freqently makes the Penner's first shot the last of any exchange.

Downsides of owning a Penner. Look there is no way of getting around this, a Penner is top heavy. Watching a high level Penner advance is like watching Jessica Rabbit jog. There is a whole lot of motion up front, and the arms are carried high and way out to the side to prevent loss of balance. The Penner wiggles its ample ass at the run as well, to counteract the huge momentum of the weapon heavy arms and cannon bristling torso. On battlefield manover drills it is like watching a particularly well endowed stripper run without a sports bra. It is only saved from being ridiculous by the memory of seeing the same machine at full charge with arms and grinning death's head holding dead level as its body ran over dead Notas and Boreas like a steeple chase runner, with every muzzle dripping flame and a flow of steel connecting it to victims downrange that was so thick you could walk across it and never touch a molecule of air.

The Penner is expensive to own and feed. Its equipment is either niode or barely noticeable. There are almost no crystal options worth having. There is a very limited variety of equipment available in this weight class, so limits hit quickly. Its ammunition bill is terrifying, but so far in Mecha Galaxy, there has never been a beast this deadly.

My first sits about 325, doesn't have any of the fancy Vortex equipment, and still gives the following equipped performance. Some of the 400 club can swat it with theirs as it swats lesser mecha, so that weapon every 2.5 levels means this beast rewards advancement with advantage more than any other mecha in the game.

Laser Damage + 12%

Proj. Damage + 98%

Speed + 99

1.3X Damage 60%

1.5X Damage 30%

2X Damage 65%

3X Damage 77%

Reflect 14%

Med-Bot (9)

Crit-Kill 32%

Dodge (72)

Precision (104)

Shield (509)

Splash Shield 49%

Wide Fork Shield 34%

Fork Shield 23%

Laser Shield 25%

Missile Shield 29%

Ice Shield 6%

Fire Shield

Proj. Vulnerable 15%

Fire Vulnerable 2%

Class: Penner

Weapons: 142

John T Mainer 28840

[kindlecomparedinfo]

The UniFi Dream Machine router is a great entry point for networking nerds

A few weeks ago, Ubiquiti unveiled the UniFi Dream Machine, an all-in-one networking device that combines a router, a switch with four Ethernet ports and a Wi-Fi access point for $299. It has what Ubiquiti calls an integrated cloud key that lets you control your network.

I’ve been using the UniFi Dream Machine on my home network for the past couple of weeks, so consider this a review of the device.

Ubiquiti is a well-known networking brand. Most people are familiar with the company’s access points — those rounded antennas that you can find around schools, companies and public spaces.

But the upfront investment has always been a bit steep for personal use cases and even small companies. The UniFi Dream Machine sits perfectly in between professional gears and consumer devices. It represents a huge upgrade is you’re using the router with Wi-Fi capabilities provided by your internet service provider.

Rebundling UniFi devices

Ubiquiti has a range of routers under the AmpliFi brand for consumers who are looking for a plug-and-play solution. The company recently announced a new device with great specifications if you don’t want to mess around with networking settings.

But if you’re reading this, chances are you know that UniFi products offer some customizations that you think are lacking in consumer products.

Switching from an all-in-one networking device to a UniFi system has always been a bit complicated. The company has broken down the networking stack into different devices to offer you more control.

It means that you have to buy a Security Gateway (a router, the “brain” of the network), a switch (just like a power strip, but for Ethernet ports) and an access point (a Wi-Fi antenna). On top of that, a UniFi cloud key is an essential buy if you want to manage your network with the company’s controller software.

If you’re committed to the UniFi ecosystem, you get a great experience. You can manage each Ethernet port on your switch individually, you can control Wi-Fi settings from anywhere in the world and many, many more things. Ars Technica’s Lee Hutchinson fell down the UniFi rabbit hole and wrote a great story about his experience running professional networking gears at home.

The UniFi Dream Machine takes a different approach. It rebundles all the separate pieces that make a UniFi network come to life. You can buy the $300 UniFi Dream Machine and control every little detail of your network.

Specifications

A few words on the specifications of the UniFi Dream Machine. The pill-shaped device has an integrated security gateway, which lets you run a DHCP server, create firewall policies, take advantage of multiple VLANs and more.

In addition to the WAN port to connect your device to the internet, there are four Gigabit Ethernet ports. As for Wi-Fi, the Dream Machine supports 802.11ac Wave 2 (“Wi-Fi 5”) with a 4×4 MU-MIMO antenna — no Wi-Fi 6 unfortunately.

Behind the scene, the device uses a 1.7GHz ARM Cortex-A57 processor. It has 2GB of RAM and 16GB of storage and consumes up to 26W.

Using the Dream Machine

Setting up the UniFi Dream Machine is a great experience. Ideally, you want to plug an Ethernet cable in your ISP-provided router and put it in bridge mode. This way, it’ll act as a dumb modem and let the UniFi Dream Machine do all the hard work.

After downloading the mobile app and turning on the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a popup that mimics the pairing popup of the AirPods. You can then control your network from that mobile app or use a web browser on your computer.

This is when it gets interesting.

UniFi’s controller software usually lists all the UniFi devices currently running on your network. With the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a single device. But if you expand that device, you can see a list of three separate UniFi components — a gateway, a switch and an AP.

As expected, you can control every little detail of your network. Once again, this isn’t for everyone and you will have to learn a lot of things about networking in order to optimize your setup. But if you’re a digital tinkerer, it’s a breath of fresh air.

The UniFi Dream Machine acts as the DHCP server in my home. I have renamed my devices and assigned fixed IPs to all my device in order to find them more easily. You can see in real time the network they’re using and if they’re getting a good Wi-Fi signal.

I have also configured Cloudflare’s 1.1.1.1 public DNS at the network level.

There are a ton of possibilities if you care about security. I created a guest Wi-Fi network that only lets my friends access the internet. They can browse Twitter and stream Netflix shows without any issue, but they can’t access my computers on the local network.

I also created another Wi-Fi network for IoT devices, such as connected speakers, a printer and a robot vacuum. Connected devices don’t get a lot of security patches and have more vulnerabilities than a computer or a smartphone that you keep up-to-date. I assigned a different VLAN to this Wi-Fi network. VLANs let you create a partitioned network with different sets of rules.

I applied firewall rules to this VLAN so that I can control the devices from my personal devices, but they can’t initiate requests to my devices on their own. This is overkill for most people, but it’s fun that you can do that from UniFi’s controller. More details here.

When it comes to Wi-Fi, everything is customizable and performances have been stellar. I live in a small apartment, but the balcony has always been an issue. I often work from the balcony, and I’ve been using a cheap Wi-Fi extender that I found in a box of gadgets and cables.

I unplugged the Wi-Fi extender and tried to connect to the UniFi Dream Machine. I get better performance, even if I reduce Wi-Fi transmit power to medium.

These are just a few examples of things you can do with the UniFi Dream Machine. I feel like I’m still underusing the device (you can connect via SSH and control everything from the terminal), but I wouldn’t consider going back to an entry-level router with Wi-Fi capabilities.

Targeting prosumers

The UniFi Dream Machine is the networking device I didn’t know I wanted. I’ll never have hundreds of Wi-Fi devices connected to my home network. I don’t need a dozen Ethernet ports. And yet, I want to be in control of my network. If you miss Apple’s AirPort Extreme or if you’re a networking nerd, you should consider the UniFi Dream Machine.

Small businesses and shops often make some poor decisions at the beginning of the company. A cheap Wi-Fi router on Amazon doesn’t cut it when your business scales. The Dream Machine can be a good entry point as you’ll be able to build upon that base device.

But if you think you have bigger needs, don’t try to run a big network from a UniFi Dream Machine. Ubiquiti sells some great rackable devices that will give you a lot more flexibility. The UniFi Dream Machine is a constrained machine after all. That’s what makes it both not good enough for enterprise customers and great for prosumers.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8176395 https://techcrunch.com/2019/12/02/the-unifi-dream-machine-router-is-a-great-entry-point-for-networking-nerds/ via http://www.kindlecompared.com/kindle-comparison/

[un-enfant-immature]

The UniFi Dream Machine router is a great entry point for networking nerds

A few weeks ago, Ubiquiti unveiled the UniFi Dream Machine, an all-in-one networking device that combines a router, a switch with four Ethernet ports and a Wi-Fi access point for $299. It has what Ubiquiti calls an integrated cloud key that lets you control your network.

I’ve been using the UniFi Dream Machine on my home network for the past couple of weeks, so consider this a review of the device.

Ubiquiti is a well-known networking brand. Most people are familiar with the company’s access points — those rounded antennas that you can find around schools, companies and public spaces.

But the upfront investment has always been a bit steep for personal use cases and even small companies. The UniFi Dream Machine sits perfectly in between professional gears and consumer devices. It represents a huge upgrade is you’re using the router with Wi-Fi capabilities provided by your internet service provider.

Rebundling UniFi devices

Ubiquiti has a range of routers under the AmpliFi brand for consumers who are looking for a plug-and-play solution. The company recently announced a new device with great specifications if you don’t want to mess around with networking settings.

But if you’re reading this, chances are you know that UniFi products offer some customizations that you think are lacking in consumer products.

Switching from an all-in-one networking device to a UniFi system has always been a bit complicated. The company has broken down the networking stack into different devices to offer you more control.

It means that you have to buy a Security Gateway (a router, the “brain” of the network), a switch (just like a power strip, but for Ethernet ports) and an access point (a Wi-Fi antenna). On top of that, a UniFi cloud key is an essential buy if you want to manage your network with the company’s controller software.

If you’re committed to the UniFi ecosystem, you get a great experience. You can manage each Ethernet port on your switch individually, you can control Wi-Fi settings from anywhere in the world and many, many more things. Ars Technica’s Lee Hutchinson fell down the UniFi rabbit hole and wrote a great story about his experience running professional networking gears at home.

The UniFi Dream Machine takes a different approach. It rebundles all the separate pieces that make a UniFi network come to life. You can buy the $300 UniFi Dream Machine and control every little detail of your network.

Specifications

A few words on the specifications of the UniFi Dream Machine. The pill-shaped device has an integrated security gateway, which lets you run a DHCP server, create firewall policies, take advantage of multiple VLANs and more.

In addition to the WAN port to connect your device to the internet, there are four Gigabit Ethernet ports. As for Wi-Fi, the Dream Machine supports 802.11ac Wave 2 (“Wi-Fi 5”) with a 4×4 MU-MIMO antenna — no Wi-Fi 6 unfortunately.

Behind the scene, the device uses a 1.7GHz ARM Cortex-A57 processor. It has 2GB of RAM and 16GB of storage and consumes up to 26W.

Using the Dream Machine

Setting up the UniFi Dream Machine is a great experience. Ideally, you want to plug an Ethernet cable in your ISP-provided router and put it in bridge mode. This way, it’ll act as a dumb modem and let the UniFi Dream Machine do all the hard work.

After downloading the mobile app and turning on the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a popup that mimics the pairing popup of the AirPods. You can then control your network from that mobile app or use a web browser on your computer.

This is when it gets interesting.

UniFi’s controller software usually lists all the UniFi devices currently running on your network. With the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a single device. But if you expand that device, you can see a list of three separate UniFi components — a gateway, a switch and an AP.

As expected, you can control every little detail of your network. Once again, this isn’t for everyone and you will have to learn a lot of things about networking in order to optimize your setup. But if you’re a digital tinkerer, it’s a breath of fresh air.

The UniFi Dream Machine acts as the DHCP server in my home. I have renamed my devices and assigned fixed IPs to all my device in order to find them more easily. You can see in real time the network they’re using and if they’re getting a good Wi-Fi signal.

I have also configured Cloudflare’s 1.1.1.1 public DNS at the network level.

There are a ton of possibilities if you care about security. I created a guest Wi-Fi network that only lets my friends access the internet. They can browse Twitter and stream Netflix shows without any issue, but they can’t access my computers on the local network.

I also created another Wi-Fi network for IoT devices, such as connected speakers, a printer and a robot vacuum. Connected devices don’t get a lot of security patches and have more vulnerabilities than a computer or a smartphone that you keep up-to-date. I assigned a different VLAN to this Wi-Fi network. VLANs let you create a partitioned network with different sets of rules.

I applied firewall rules to this VLAN so that I can control the devices from my personal devices, but they can’t initiate requests to my devices on their own. This is overkill for most people, but it’s fun that you can do that from UniFi’s controller. More details here.

When it comes to Wi-Fi, everything is customizable and performances have been stellar. I live in a small apartment, but the balcony has always been an issue. I often work from the balcony, and I’ve been using a cheap Wi-Fi extender that I found in a box of gadgets and cables.

I unplugged the Wi-Fi extender and tried to connect to the UniFi Dream Machine. I get better performance, even if I reduce Wi-Fi transmit power to medium.

These are just a few examples of things you can do with the UniFi Dream Machine. I feel like I’m still underusing the device (you can connect via SSH and control everything from the terminal), but I wouldn’t consider going back to an entry-level router with Wi-Fi capabilities.

Targeting prosumers

The UniFi Dream Machine is the networking device I didn’t know I wanted. I’ll never have hundreds of Wi-Fi devices connected to my home network. I don’t need a dozen Ethernet ports. And yet, I want to be in control of my network. If you miss Apple’s AirPort Extreme or if you’re a networking nerd, you should consider the UniFi Dream Machine.

Small businesses and shops often make some poor decisions at the beginning of the company. A cheap Wi-Fi router on Amazon doesn’t cut it when your business scales. The Dream Machine can be a good entry point as you’ll be able to build upon that base device.

But if you think you have bigger needs, don’t try to run a big network from a UniFi Dream Machine. Ubiquiti sells some great rackable devices that will give you a lot more flexibility. The UniFi Dream Machine is a constrained machine after all. That’s what makes it both not good enough for enterprise customers and great for prosumers.

[magzoso-tech]

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/the-unifi-dream-machine-router-is-a-great-entry-point-for-networking-nerds/

The UniFi Dream Machine router is a great entry point for networking nerds

A few weeks ago, Ubiquiti unveiled the UniFi Dream Machine, an all-in-one networking device that combines a router, a switch with four Ethernet ports and a Wi-Fi access point for $299. It has what Ubiquiti calls an integrated cloud key that lets you control your network.

I’ve been using the UniFi Dream Machine on my home network for the past couple of weeks, so consider this a review of the device.

Ubiquiti is a well-known networking brand. Most people are familiar with the company’s access points — those rounded antennas that you can find around schools, companies and public spaces.

But the upfront investment has always been a bit steep for personal use cases and even small companies. The UniFi Dream Machine sits perfectly in between professional gears and consumer devices. It represents a huge upgrade is you’re using the router with Wi-Fi capabilities provided by your internet service provider.

Rebundling UniFi devices

Ubiquiti has a range of routers under the AmpliFi brand for consumers who are looking for a plug-and-play solution. The company recently announced a new device with great specifications if you don’t want to mess around with networking settings.

But if you’re reading this, chances are you know that UniFi products offer some customizations that you think are lacking in consumer products.

Switching from an all-in-one networking device to a UniFi system has always been a bit complicated. The company has broken down the networking stack into different devices to offer you more control.

It means that you have to buy a Security Gateway (a router, the “brain” of the network), a switch (just like a power strip, but for Ethernet ports) and an access point (a Wi-Fi antenna). On top of that, a UniFi cloud key is an essential buy if you want to manage your network with the company’s controller software.

If you’re committed to the UniFi ecosystem, you get a great experience. You can manage each Ethernet port on your switch individually, you can control Wi-Fi settings from anywhere in the world and many, many more things. Ars Technica’s Lee Hutchinson fell down the UniFi rabbit hole and wrote a great story about his experience running professional networking gears at home.

The UniFi Dream Machine takes a different approach. It rebundles all the separate pieces that make a UniFi network come to life. You can buy the $300 UniFi Dream Machine and control every little detail of your network.

Specifications

A few words on the specifications of the UniFi Dream Machine. The pill-shaped device has an integrated security gateway, which lets you run a DHCP server, create firewall policies, take advantage of multiple VLANs and more.

In addition to the WAN port to connect your device to the internet, there are four Gigabit Ethernet ports. As for Wi-Fi, the Dream Machine supports 802.11ac Wave 2 (“Wi-Fi 5”) with a 4×4 MU-MIMO antenna — no Wi-Fi 6 unfortunately.

Behind the scene, the device uses a 1.7GHz ARM Cortex-A57 processor. It has 2GB of RAM and 16GB of storage and consumes up to 26W.

Using the Dream Machine

Setting up the UniFi Dream Machine is a great experience. Ideally, you want to plug an Ethernet cable in your ISP-provided router and put it in bridge mode. This way, it’ll act as a dumb modem and let the UniFi Dream Machine do all the hard work.

After downloading the mobile app and turning on the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a popup that mimics the pairing popup of the AirPods. You can then control your network from that mobile app or use a web browser on your computer.

This is when it gets interesting.

UniFi’s controller software usually lists all the UniFi devices currently running on your network. With the UniFi Dream Machine, you get a single device. But if you expand that device, you can see a list of three separate UniFi components — a gateway, a switch and an AP.

As expected, you can control every little detail of your network. Once again, this isn’t for everyone and you will have to learn a lot of things about networking in order to optimize your setup. But if you’re a digital tinkerer, it’s a breath of fresh air.

The UniFi Dream Machine acts as the DHCP server in my home. I have renamed my devices and assigned fixed IPs to all my device in order to find them more easily. You can see in real time the network they’re using and if they’re getting a good Wi-Fi signal.

I have also configured Cloudflare’s 1.1.1.1 public DNS at the network level.

There are a ton of possibilities if you care about security. I created a guest Wi-Fi network that only lets my friends access the internet. They can browse Twitter and stream Netflix shows without any issue, but they can’t access my computers on the local network.

I also created another Wi-Fi network for IoT devices, such as connected speakers, a printer and a robot vacuum. Connected devices don’t get a lot of security patches and have more vulnerabilities than a computer or a smartphone that you keep up-to-date. I assigned a different VLAN to this Wi-Fi network. VLANs let you create a partitioned network with different sets of rules.

I applied firewall rules to this VLAN so that I can control the devices from my personal devices, but they can’t initiate requests to my devices on their own. This is overkill for most people, but it’s fun that you can do that from UniFi’s controller. More details here.

When it comes to Wi-Fi, everything is customizable and performances have been stellar. I live in a small apartment, but the balcony has always been an issue. I often work from the balcony, and I’ve been using a cheap Wi-Fi extender that I found in a box of gadgets and cables.

I unplugged the Wi-Fi extender and tried to connect to the UniFi Dream Machine. I get better performance, even if I reduce Wi-Fi transmit power to medium.

These are just a few examples of things you can do with the UniFi Dream Machine. I feel like I’m still underusing the device (you can connect via SSH and control everything from the terminal), but I wouldn’t consider going back to an entry-level router with Wi-Fi capabilities.

Targeting prosumers

The UniFi Dream Machine is the networking device I didn’t know I wanted. I’ll never have hundreds of Wi-Fi devices connected to my home network. I don’t need a dozen Ethernet ports. And yet, I want to be in control of my network. If you miss Apple’s AirPort Extreme or if you’re a networking nerd, you should consider the UniFi Dream Machine.

Small businesses and shops often make some poor decisions at the beginning of the company. A cheap Wi-Fi router on Amazon doesn’t cut it when your business scales. The Dream Machine can be a good entry point as you’ll be able to build upon that base device.

But if you think you have bigger needs, don’t try to run a big network from a UniFi Dream Machine. Ubiquiti sells some great rackable devices that will give you a lot more flexibility. The UniFi Dream Machine is a constrained machine after all. That’s what makes it both not good enough for enterprise customers and great for prosumers.

[piratethornton]

Pirates of the Clawribbean

Chapter 7: U Zornhain

Fandom: Zootopia

[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10]

Now Nick knew not to underestimate her, he almost always won their duels much to Judy's frustration. He eventually took pity on her and gave her tips where he could, and the crew watching (who always favoured Judy) would shout out advice and encouragement. Even Bucky and Pronk would try to distract the fox to give Judy the upper hand. She improved each day, reaching the point where Nick's easy smile was overcome with panic as he struggled to keep pace with a flurry of swift slashes from her.

Judy couldn't think of another time in her life when she felt so content; she had seen and done so much, yet there was more to come. She looked out to the glistening sea, reflecting the setting sun, and breathed in the sea air. She thought back to the time she first arrived on the Black Paw. She had been frightened and uncertain, and now she couldn't imagine being anywhere else. Even her view on the Captain had changed. Instead of a fearsome, cold-hearted pirate was a charming rogue eager to go on a treasure hunt, who had rushed aboard the Bloody Tusk to save her from Boarbossa and showed such concern for her safety. Someone she could very easily call a good friend.

"Enjoying the view?"

Judy jolted as the very fox she had been thinking about came up and leaned against the ship's edge next to her. She smiled up at him then gazed at the sea once more. "It's so big. I mean, I always knew it was big, but from here it's easy to believe that there's nothing else in the world."

"Yeah, it has that effect," said Nick, shrugging slightly. "...So, missing your fiancé?"

"Huh? Oh." Judy frowned guiltily. She hadn't given much thought to James Buckington for a while. "To be honest, I only agreed to marry him to help my family. If we find Captain's Maul treasure, I may be able to call off the engagement."

Nick smirked. "That bad, huh?"

"No, he's not bad, he's just...not for me." Her gaze moved to the horizon and became sad. "I do miss my family, though. I hope they're not too worried."

"What do they have to be worried about? It's not like you're on a pirate ship on a reckless search for buried treasure and occasionally almost getting killed by evil boars."

Judy couldn't help but laugh at that. "I'll have to be careful about what I say when I see them again." A thought occurred to her. "Is there anyone you miss?"

Nick was silent for a moment. "I only have my mother. She lives in Zootopia. Every now and then I visit her and give her a piece of treasure as a gift. She thinks I'm a high-ranking merchant sailor. Keeps her happy and gives her something to brag about to her friends."

Her curiosity grew a little. "Why did you become a pirate?"

He gazed intensely at the sea, his ears flickering slightly, as if contemplating how much to tell her. "When I was young I learned that foxes weren't supposed to be heroes. They were villains. So I decided to become one. When I was seventeen I managed to join Boarbossa's crew, and I was excited because I thought I was where I belonged. But then I saw what sort of mammal Boarbossa was, and I knew I had to get out. I met Finnick and Honey, and we set out to do piracy our way."

When he mentioned his crewmates, he managed to pull himself out of his melancholy and he leaned towards Judy conspiratorially.

"Don't tell anyone this, but compared to most pirates, we're pretty soft. We can find buried treasure and carry out robberies by stealth alright, but when it comes to 'plundering', we just put on a huge show, make the sailors wet their breeches and leave as soon as we can with their cargo to avoid any bloodshed."

Judy titled her head. "You've never killed anyone?"

"There have been...accidents, and moments of self defence, but we don't really like getting our hands dirty if we can help it."

"So... when you threatened to kill Ben and I-"

He gave a huge smile which had a tint of sheepishness. "Huge bluff."

"Oh, cheese and crackers!" She smacked her head into her palm.

"Yeah. We're pretty much all bark and no bite."

Judy gave a small laugh. "You are simply the worst pirates I've ever come across."

"At least we look good." He winked.

They turned their attention back to the sunset, Judy's eyes fixed upon the horizon. Jack had told her that the moment the sun disappears beneath the sea, a green flash can sometimes be seen, signalling the return of a soul from the Land of the Dead to the Living. The sun gently sank lower and lower until...it was gone, with no hint of green at all. She sighed softly in disappointment.

"Have you ever seen the Green Flash?" she asked Nick.

"Once, I think," he replied. "Out of the corner of my eye. The one time I wasn't looking."

Judy studied him for a moment. "Are you waiting for someone to come back?"

"My dad," he said quietly, staring out to sea. "I... heard rumours that he was taken aboard the Sea Vulture. I don't know how true they are, but I still watch out for it, just in case." He glanced back at Judy, who was reaching out a paw to touch his arm. He forced a laugh. "I get a rabbit on my ship and suddenly I'm all mushy. That's a dangerous gift you've got there, Carrots."

Judy stared at him for a second, then smiled back. "Don't worry. I'm in complete control."

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

The door opened and was quickly slammed shut again by Honey, looking thoroughly irritated.

" Nick Wilde, why did you let those dumb dumbs join our crew?"

"Honestly? They wouldn't shut up."

She growled in frustration then took a deep breath in an effort to calm herself down. "I've just been checking the map. We're about to reach 'u zornhain'. Care to translate?" she asked Judy.

"It's the song of death or destruction," answered Judy. "I don't know what it refers to, though. I assumed we'd know it when we saw it."

"Nathan's probably the expert thanks to Ben," joked Nick. "Right, Nate?"

He shouted the last part to the polar bear inspecting the rigging, who had fortunately made a complete recovery from his injury. His response to the fox was a snort and a tiny eye roll.

"Wait a minute," said Honey, suddenly looking worried. "It's a full moon tonight."

"Yes..." said Nick slowly, an eyebrow raised.

"Captain!" Bobby called from the crow's nest. "There's movement in the water!"

Everyone gathered on deck ran to the side of the ship Bobby was pointing to. Out in the distance swells in the sea could just be made out in growing darkness. Something was swimming towards them.

"Sirens," said Honey.

"Sirens?!" repeated Judy, sharing Honey and Nick's panic.

"Evil creatures banished from their own kind to the open sea," explained Honey. "They sought protection from bloodthirsty monsters in return for-"

"You can tell the story later, Honey," interrupted Nick. "We need to get everyone below deck. Do you still have those earplugs?"

"I have some," she replied, leading everyone to the door, "but I don't think I have enough for-"

A single, long note rang out from the sea, stopping the crew in their tracks.

"It's started," said Nick gravely.

The first note was followed by two others, and the ship jerked suddenly, causing the crew to stumble. They looked up at the helm to see Flash steering the ship toward the singing.

"Nathan, get Flash away from the wheel!" shouted Nick.

The polar bear was halfway up the stairs when the singing turned from a few simple notes into a sweet, haunting melody. Nathan stopped and gazed out to sea, utterly transfixed.

The door crashed open and Finnick, Ben, Yax, Bucky and Pronk rushed through, looking confused.

"What's going on?" demanded Finnick.

"Cover your ears and go back down," ordered Nick, hands slamming over his own head.

It was too late. A second was all it took for their ears to swivel and their minds to be taken by the sirens. Only Judy, Honey and Ben were unaffected, and Nick was digging his claws into his skull to try to escape the growing music. It was to no avail, and soon his hands dropped and his eyes glazed over.

"Oh no," groaned Honey, snapping her fingers in front of Nick's face in a futile attempt to wake him.

Judy looked about her. Almost every member of the crew were standing stock still, focused on the sirens and their singing. It was certainly on the most beautiful things she had ever heard, but she didn't feel compelled towards it, and she didn't feel any different.

"Why aren't we affected?" she asked.

"They're males," Honey answered, now inspecting Finnick. "One track minds."

"But Ben-"

The cheetah waved a paw. "Once you've heard Gazelle, no voice can compare."

"Gazelle?" asked Honey, confused.

"She's just an opera singer," Judy explained hurriedly.

"Just an opera singer?!" repeated Ben, flabbergasted.

"Did you say you had earplugs?" Judy asked Honey, ignoring Ben.

Honey sighed sadly. "Even if I had enough for them, now they've heard the song they won't work."

The hypnotised crew were now moving slowly to the edge of the ship all with dopey smiles on their faces. Judy ran in front of Nick and tried to push him back, but he simply shoved her out of the way, his eyes never leaving the sea.

"We need to get them below deck and restrain them somehow," said Judy. "Ben, can you take care of Flash?"

"On it," he replied, heading up the stairs.

"Honey." Judy jerked her head towards the rest of the crew. The badger nodded in understanding and went over to Yax. She pulled at his arm but he stood firm.

Judy walked in front of Nick again. "Come on, snap out of it! We want to get Captain Maul's treasure, remember? Maybe you can find something for your mother."

"It's so pretty," he murmured dreamily, his gaze never wavering. It was as if Judy didn't exist.

SPLASH!

"FINN!"

Honey grabbed a rope, tied it around her middle and jumped in after Finnick. Judy seized the other end and looked over the side of the ship to see Honey swimming after the small fox. Surrounding them were several creatures: grey-brown, sleek with flippers and a round, protruding muzzle. Their mouths were wide open as they continued their song and they were gazing longingly at Finnick.

As soon as Honey reached Finnick Judy hauled the rope back up, looping it around the mast for extra leverage. She felt something soar over her head and saw Bobby walking to the edge. She quickly tied off the loop and raced after him, snatching his tail. Though this slowed him slightly, he still steadily moved closer and closer to the water.

"Stop! Stop! You have to stop!" she shouted at him as he dragged her along the deck, completely unfazed by her actions. Then something in the distance caught Judy's eye. Several tall, thin fins were slicing through the waves towards the ship, and Judy's panic grew higher.

"Come on, Bobby!" she pleaded. There was no response. They were almost at the edge now, and she looked around wildly, searching for anything to help. She looked down at the tail in her hands and, because she could think of nothing else, clamped her teeth around it.

There was a yowl of pain and Bobby soared into the air. When he landed he observed his surroundings with an utterly bewildered expression, nursing his tail.

"What's going-?" He stopped halfway and put a paw to his head, groaning slightly. His face slowly turned back to the sweet singing as it began to reclaim him.

Judy wasted no time in grabbing his tail again and biting it. She quickly took her chance and dragged him to the door, halting only when she saw Honey scrambling back on to the ship with Finnick struggling in her arms.

"We have to hurt them!" Judy told her.

Honey scrunched her muzzle in confusion. "Huh?"

"They're distracted by pain!" Judy explained further, just as a panting Ben came back through the door.

"I've put Flash in the galley," he said, trying to get his breath back. "It should be a while before he comes back up."

"Get Bobby and Finnick below, too," ordered Judy. She bit Bobby's tail a third time when he started walking to the sea again.

Honey's eyes widened at Bobby's reaction, and experimentally gave Finnick a short, sharp smack to the head.

"Ow!"

Honey quickly handed the small fox to Ben. "There's sleeping draught in my medical room. Give them a swig and they'll be out like a light."

Ben nodded and took Bobby's arm with his free hand, then descended below deck.

Judy and Honey turned their attention to the rest of the crew, and an evil smile spread over the badger's face when she spotted the antelopes.

"I've waited so long for this!" She ran up behind them, jumped and slammed their two heads together. They slumped down, out cold. "Err...oops."

Only Nick, Nathan and Yax were left, leaning against the bulwark and gazing dreamily at the sirens. Yax was leaning over so much that he was dangling over the edge.

Judy grabbed some more rope. "Get Yax next, and keep an eye on Nick! I'll restrain Nathan!"

With one end tied securely to the mast, Judy looped the rope a few times around Nathan's legs and middle and fastened it off with a strong knot, knowing that even if she and Honey were able to cause him pain, they would not be strong enough to get him below deck. She plucked the rope, and once satisfied went back to Honey.

The yak and fox were now trying to jump over, and Honey was positioned between the two, one arm latched on to Nick's shoulder and the rest of her wrapped around Yax, desperately biting and scratching at his back, with the claws on her foot digging deep into the bulwark. Her attacks had no effect on his thick hide. Her mouth full of hair, she looked at Judy with huge, pleading eyes.

"Try his legs!" Judy told her whilst grabbing Nick and punching his arm.

"Ow!" Nick snapped his attention to his arm and rubbing it.

"Come on!" Judy pulled at his coat with all her might, managing to get him a little way from the edge, until his ear swivelled and he heard the song again. Almost mechanically, he turned back to the sea so Judy climbed on to the bulwark and pushed firmly against his chest.

Fortunately Honey had managed to deliver a successful bite to Yax's leg and was now tying him up. Ben had also returned and looked ready to collapse from a mixture of exhaustion  and stress.

"You two, get Nathan!" yelled Judy, gesturing her head to the polar bear struggling against his bonds. As Honey and Ben started hauling him in, Judy risked a glance behind her. The sirens' expressions were no longer serene, but murderous, and the song emanating from them was almost deafening. The sharks were slowly circling beneath her, creating a small whirlpool, the sight of which cause Judy to gasp and look away. The cloth beneath her fingers squirmed as Nick tried to get around her, but she clung on steadfastly. She made sure her feet had a good grip on the wood, crouched down then sprung back up against Nick, causing him to fall on his back and her to fall on him.

Nick's head smacked against the deck which roused him once again from his stupor, and their gazes met. Judy blinked twice, realising she had never noticed how green Nick's eyes were, but snapped out of her reverie when his look lost focus. She rolled off him, elbowed him in the gut, and lead him to the mast.

The poor fox had to endure several punches and kicks while Judy tied him up next to Yax. When she finished, she joined Honey and Ben in restraining Nathan, which took a considerable amount of effort but they were eventually able to bring him down. Judy ran and fetched the sleeping draught, and once administered the three hypnotised mammals fell into a deep and peaceful sleep, and the other three collapsed against Nathan's large form and sighed collectively in relief.

"What now?" asked Ben.

"They'll be asleep 'til morning, by which time the sirens will have gone," said Honey. "There's no point moving them, even if we were able."

"We'll have to take turns watching, just in case," said Judy.

The sirens' song continued, though there was now a hint of desperation that Judy couldn't help but feel a surge of joy from. Honey brought up the stew Yax had been preparing and they ate under the stars, listening to the mournful music and saying little. Ben fell asleep after his forth helping, and Honey offered to take the first watch. Judy rested against Ben's stomach, promising herself that at the first opportunity, she was going to study the map again for any other potential surprises.

[the-in-between-honey]

“Yes, I am aware. Your point?”

Fictober prompt 6

Original Fiction: Starling

Rating: G

Warnings: none

Tilla ran her hands over the supple leather gloves in the open glass case in front of her before slipping a pair onto her hands. The dark brown mens’ gloves looked silly on her small hands, but she wanted to feel the fur lining for herself. 

She turned her attention to the portly shopkeeper behind the glass case, watching her expectantly from behind his round spectacles. “And what type of fur did you say this was?”

“Rabbit, my lady.”

“Hmm.” Tilla nonchalantly set the gloves back into the case. “Not quite what I was looking for.”

“I’ve just received a shipment of much finer gloves,” the shopkeeper said quickly. “Calfskin, with imported fur from the Usma mountains.”

“Lovely. I’d like to take a look, if you wouldn’t mind retrieving a pair for me.”

“Certainly! I will return shortly.” The shopkeeper walked through a set of dark oak double doors, and Tilla turned to join Molly seated on the settee behind her.

“Remind me why we are here again?” Molly asked, casting a sideways glance at Tilla.

“We are shopping for a gift, Molly.”

“A gift for who?”

“For the king.” Tilla straightened her skirts in her best attempt to hide her annoyance.

“The king that is married to your sister?”

“That would be the only king I know on a personal basis, yes.”

“Ah, just wondering.”

Tilla crossed her arms and turned to face Molly. “What exactly are you getting at, Molly?”

“Oh, nothing,” Molly said, pretending to be very interested in the embroidery on the pillow to her right. “Sometimes it seems as though you are quite unaware that the man you spend so much time with is not only married to your sister, but to the queen that rules over you.”

“Yes, I am aware,” Tilla spat, not bothering to hide the pain of Molly’s biting remark. “Your point?”

Molly sighed, placing her hand on Tilla’s arm. “I don’t mean any offense, I really don’t. I know that the past year has been incredibly hard for you.”

“Then why are you trying to make me feel badly?”

“I’m not, Tilla. I just want you to be careful, is all.”

“Here we are!” The shopkeeper bustled back into the front room, arms laden down with gloves in nearly every shade of brown and black.

Tilla stood up, squeezing Molly’s hand as a gesture of forgiveness, and walked over to the counter.

“These are made from the finest calfskin, lined with fur from small rabbits that live high in the Usma mountains. Very rare and very warm.”

“They are lovely,” Tilla said, slipping a glove on. The fur was incredibly soft, and she made a mental note to come back for a pair for herself once her purse recovered from this purchase. “I’ll take a pair in the black, that seems to be his favored color.”

While the shopkeeper wrapped the gloves in the back, Tilla sat back down with Molly. “I am trying to be careful, I really am, Molls. That’s why I’m buying this gift. I may have slipped up last night, and -”

“Oh gods, Tilla, don’t tell me you -”

“No, nothing like that,” Tilla said with a light laugh. “I have enough decency to leave Einar well enough alone in that aspect. I just pushed him a little too hard when asking him about Kerre, and I think I hurt his pride.”

“This should make him very happy, then. And one step closer to getting your sister up out of bed and us back home.”

Tilla put forward her best smile, hoping that she could mask her disappointment. “Yes, one step closer to home.”