#cas writings
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I love the idea of Raph and Donnie having lasting effects!!! Are there any others apart from the eyes and maybe the hive mind thing? (Also does the hive mind thing affect how they interact with each other?)
Also I love your art!!! The comic is awesome, and I did not realise you were the one who made the awesome music video for the Cass Apocolypse series!!! Thank you for sharing!!!
Meanwhile:
They get a little mixed up sometimes...
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt mikey#wick art#YBPJ!#Technically this is a different AU but it also plays a role in YBPJ ??#I don't have a name for it yet tho#Also thank you about the CAS music video#I'm still pretty proud of it#mini comic#I did not want to hand write all those numbers so manga font it is#ask with art
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Lesbeams
#it started as fem cas for a fic I was writing#and then I was like fuck it#fem Dean too#supernatural#mischieviem#castiel#destiel#dean winchester#spn#my art#fem castiel#fem Dean Winchester#genderbend#genderbent castiel#genderbent dean Winchester#genderbent destiel#butch Dean Winchester
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a grieving, haunted, restless dean winds up at a tattoo shop and gets the handprint inked back onto his shoulder
#been thinking about writing this into a future fix it fic#mostly bc itās fun to imagine how cas would react when he comes back to life and sees it for the first time#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#spn#the handprint#spn 15x18
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/db1291d04ef77fb3f862757a8cc2830e/b2663213e40d10a0-4a/s540x810/ccc68482d78cf6edc355b6dfe84bf0f098aece23.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/68cb889357b322308d043685bd59c4f9/b2663213e40d10a0-df/s540x810/286191067912bf313b1f39c0279da6266bf9255c.jpg)
Possessive Castiel with a marking kink makes me feral
#marked his brothers vessel no less#cas rebuilt Dean to be his own man. not Michaelās#dean asking cas to put the handprint back while theyāre having sex is my favorite headcanon#destiel#castiel#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#deancas#misha collins#jensen ackles#spn crack#handprint#hand print#cockles#spn 4x01#4x01#6x03#spn 6x03#spn 15x18#15x18#marking kink#gay#dean posting#cas posting#casposting#deanposting#my writing
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I would pay an ungodly amount of money for a Supernatural finale where Dean rescues Cas from the Empty and tells him he loves him too, Eileen comes back to be with Sam, and Jack chooses to live with the four of them in the bunker as a happy family.
#if someone has the contact info for whoever I would need to pay to make this happen pls send it Iāll start a go fund me#the finale we got was so bad and its only really just hitting me how bad it was#like they really said f you to all the character growth that we saw over the 15 seasons#i canāt stop thinking about it#iāve been reading fix-it fics for 3 days straight but its just not the same#i might try and write my own fic because nothing has everything I want#destiel#supernatural#castiel#spn#dean winchester#deancas#dean x cas#sam winchester#supernatural fandom#eileen#eileen leahy#jack kline#sam and dean and cas are jackās parents#fix it fic#sam x eileen#saileen
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Apocalypse Never
They help Dad into the cabin, more coherent than he was when they first broke him out, and Sam heads back to the car for their bags, for the Colt, and tries not to think about how everything has gone so quickly to shit. Mom and Jessicaās killer got away, again, but theyāre all alive. Thatās not nothing, thatās ā
The pain hits him so completely and suddenly that he has no chance to brace himself for it. Usually it builds, first prickling pain then greater, but this is something else. It feels like nails are being shoved into his skull, images coming almost too fast for him to follow. He doesnāt realize heās screaming until it stops, until he comes to with his head in his brotherās lap, Deanās arms pinning him down and his face white and terrified above him. āSammy? Sammy, youāre bleeding. Whatās wrong?ā
His throat is too raw and tight to speak even if he wanted to. He does want to, but he canāt, he canāt say a goddamn thing.
I saved the world for you, he thinks wildly, and I didnāt even get to keep you. How fucked up is that?
~
He doesnāt know if his future self couldnāt send it all back any further, or if he thought that this would give Sam less time to fuck things up.
For a couple terrifying minutes, Sam had taken control of Lucifer. For a couple exhilarating minutes, Sam had the power of an archangel.
That sending the knowledge of the future back four years in the past was the best thing he could think to do with it leaves Sam with a poor opinion of the man he became. Then again, he had saved the world, so. Thereās that.
He doesnāt want to think of the him that had fallen into the pit with Lucifer and Michael. He hopes he can save him by making different choices, but maybe he canāt. Alternate universes, or parallel ones, or whatever. Maybe that Sam is damned for good and the best he could do was save a different version of himself, a different version of his brother.
Thereās not much point in wondering about it. Heāll never know either way.
Itās memories with no emotions, thank fuck, because just the knowledge of it all is enough to drive him to his knees, to edge him to weeping and whimpering and slitting his wrists if he lets it.
Heās not going to. He has work to do. There will be time to fall apart after, when the world is safe. When Dean is safe.
Dean after Dad had died and given him that ultimatum had been bad enough. Dean after forty years in hell had been nearly unrecognizable.
He wipes the blood from his face, ushers Dean back inside, and tries not to think too hard about what heās about to do.
Dean figures out itās Azazel in Dadās body and theyāre pinned to the wall and Sam waits until Azazel is hovering over him, hand next to his head as he tilts his head back and breathes over Samās lips. Itās a torture and a powerplay, to let the want in his eyes come out in his fatherās face, to make it Johnās body thatās pressed so nauseatingly close to his own.
Sam isnāt the same person he was four years ago, ten minutes ago.
Breaking out of Azazelās hold is easy. Heās using the equivalent of a single finger to keep them down, like pinning down a butterfly, and it's only enough until it isnāt.
He grabs Azazelās face and pulls him close, hears the beginning of his laughter before Sam seals their mouths together. Heās making a deal here, selling his soul sure as anything, just not with Azazel.
Azazel leans into it, just like Sam knew he would, shoving his tongue in Samās mouth and getting off at his instinctive flinch of disgust, of the way Deanās screaming bloody murder behind him. Azazel hasnāt hurt Dean yet. Samās going to make sure he never will.
He bites down hard. Blood fills his mouth and he sucks on his tongue, drinking as much as he can. It doesn't tase like iron, not like it should, instead it's sweet and thick like honey. He thought Azazel would pull back now, but heās still laughing into Samās mouth, even bites the inside of his cheek to add to the blood from his tongue, and he just lets Sam drink his fill. Of course, he doesnāt know what Sam knows. If Sam had done this the first time, the only thing the blood would have done would be to get him high and useless.
It means he gets more than a mouthful, that itās long minutes of keeping his eyes closed and swallowing and trying not to think too hard about how itās Dadās hands on him and Dadās hard on at his thigh and Dadās tongue heās sucking on. Heās already got four yearsā worth of nightmares in his head. No need to add more than necessary.
His skin is buzzing, feeling stretched out over him like his body is too big for it suddenly, almost like the aches of growing pains but more electric. Azazel pulls back and licks up the side of his face, leaving blood and spit behind, and breathes into his ear, āIf you missed me feeding you, boy, all you had to do was ask.ā
Yeah, thatās enough of that.
He shoves Azazel back without moving his hands, hard enough that he stumbles, and he has to move fast, before he gets a smart idea like snapping Dadās neck or bursting his heart. He raises his hand and heād settle for an exorcism, but power is lying heavy and thick in his veins. Destroying Lilith nearly killed him and Azazel is more powerful than Lilith and the blood he drank shouldnāt be nearly enough.
But fear sparks in Azazelās yellow eyes and he starts choking, black smoke leaking from his ears and out his mouth. āHow-ā
Sam doesnāt let him finish. He remembers killing Samhain, killing Alastair, killing Lilith. He knows what to do.
Azazel dies screaming. Mom and Jessica are avenged. Itās not as satisfying as he thought itād be.
Dad is on his hands and knees, taking in deep lungfuls of air. Sam knows from experience that being possessed isnāt pleasant.
āSammy?ā
He forces himself to look over, sees his brother approaching him with hands outstretched. The fear hasnāt gone anywhere even with Azazel dead, even with Dad alive, even though he doesnāt have any of the devastating injuries he sustained last time.
He doesnāt have the emotions to go along with the memory of the first time Dean saw him drinking demon blood, but he imagines it was something like this. āIām sorry.ā
āSammy,ā Dean says again, but Dadās getting to his feet, Dadās looking at the Colt, and Sam canāt die yet. He still has work to do.
Itās not a conscious thought, not something he actively tries to do, itās just one minute heās there in a cabin with his father and brother and the next heās in the middle of a field, the night air crisp and clear and a million stars shining above him.
He couldnāt do that before.
Thereās something wrong, he thinks, because he doesnāt remember what drinking demon blood felt like, but he remembers describing it, and this isnāt right. He should be drained after that, should feel almost normal again, but instead itās like there are bees pinging around inside him, like thereās molten lava in his veins, like heās dying.
Heās dying, he realizes suddenly, the power threatening to eat him alive. He looks down at his arms, like heās expecting to see them crisping up beneath moonlight, but they look normal, like skin. Of course itās not killing him, no matter what it feels like. Heās Luciferās perfect vessel. Thereās no power his body canāt contain, none except Godās, maybe, and it looks like heās long past making house calls.
It wonāt kill him, but it hurts like hell, and he canāt think, he needs to burn it off somehow. Heās never had this problem before, not even when he drank all that blood for Lucifer.
Heās standing in Bobbyās living room and he doesnāt understand why until he sees the body on his kitchen table wrapped in a white sheet. He doesnāt know how Bobby got rid of the paramedics, if heās maybe holding the body for her family, but Sam thinks he knows how to get rid of some of the itching along his skin.
Sam died a lot, in those weeks he and Dean were apart. Lucifer was true to his word. Sam came back every time.
He pulls down the sheet, sees the ways Megās face has settled into death in the past day, how decay has started to take hold and left her blue and cold and her skin slack. He leans down, presses a kiss to her cheek, and thinks that this is the least he owes her, for what she endured because of him, for trying to help him even at the bitter end.
She gasps to life beneath him, warmth flooding her skin and air stuttering into her lungs. āSam?ā she asks, fear and confusion and a pain thatās not physical.
Maybe she wonāt want to live, considering everything sheās been through, but at least now the choice is hers and not a demonās. There are footsteps and he turns to see Bobby standing in the doorway, gun pointed to the ground and mouth open in shock. Sam doesnāt have time to worry about it, instead heās gone, the same burning still clawing its way out of his bones.
Caleb lies slumped in the chair Meg had tied him to, throat slit and eyes empty. Sam puts his hands on his shoulders, presses his lips to his bald head, and feels the moment his heart starts beating again. He sends the ropes falling with barely a thought and heās gone the moment he hears his first confused groan.
Pastor Jim is laid out in his home, church workers Sam vaguely recognize huddled around him in prayer, his final send off. Heās just glad he got here before they burned him. They start screaming when they see him but he leans down, internally wincing at how Jimās going to explain his way out of this one, and kisses his forehead, a reversal of the paternal tenderness Jim had shown him as a child.
His chest rises and his eyes open and his eyebrows push together. āSam, what-ā
He doesnāt stick around to hear the end of that question, figures itās not anything he can answer anyway.
It takes him a long moment of staring out at the snow covered peaks and too close sky and the brilliant sun hitting his face even though it was just the middle of the night for him to place himself, even though it shouldnāt be enough, but he knows where he is even though he shouldnāt.
The airās too thin and heās going to give himself altitude sickness if he lingers and he should probably be freezing to death but his blood is still running too hot. Not burning, not like it was before he brought three people back from the dead, but still far from comfortable.
Still. He canāt say he ever thought heād ever get to see the view from Mt. Everest.
āCastiel,ā he says. āItās Sam Winchester. We need to talk.ā
Nothing. Typical.
āI know about Godās plan, about Lucifer and Michael, about my role as his vessel. I know about you, Cas. Youāre going to want to hear me out.ā
Thereās the rustle of wings behind him and he turns to see Cas, younger than he looked before. Jimmy Novak younger than heād been before. He wonders about that for a moment. Heād half expected Cas to show up as a sherpa rather than nip to America for a vessel, but Cas had kept the shape of Jimmy Novak even after his physical body perished, so maybe thereās a deeper preference there than just convenience.
His face is as cold as their surroundings. āYou have strayed from Godās light.ā
āYeah, well, what good has he ever done me?ā he asks tiredly. He used to believe. He believed yesterday. He prayed this morning. Even when he met Cas the first time, he believed. āI canāt explain. Can you just read my mind? We donāt have time.ā
His eyebrows push together, but Cas has to be curious, otherwise he wouldnāt have said anything. He steps forward and presses two fingers against Samās forehead. He doesnāt feel any different, but when Cas lowers his hand, heās lost his stoicism. Shock, despair, and anger chase themselves across his feature and Sam canāt blame him.
Heās not the only who lost his faith in the future.
āYou said there were thousands of seals,ā he says. āHow many exactly?ā
His eyes snap to Samās. āWhat?ā
āGod loved Lucifer,ā he says. āItās why he imprisoned him rather than destroying him. Itās why he left him a way out. Maybe itās why he set up the apocalypse in the first place. I donāt know, I donāt care. All I know is that Iām not letting him out, ever. So weāre going to destroy every seal we can.ā
Some canāt be undone, like the first one, a righteous man torturing an innocent soul in hell. But there are plenty that can, hopefully enough, hopefully most. If there are less than sixty six seals available, then Lucifer is never getting out of his cage.
āThere were originally ten thousand seals,ā Cas answers and Sam gets lightheaded for reasons that have nothing to do with thin air. āOnly two thousand and thirty four seals are still viable.ā
Okay, thatās better. Not great, but better. āLetās get that number down to sixty five.ā
āYou are different,ā Cas says.
Of course heās different. His fatherās alive. His brother never went to hell. Sam has never known the utter desolation of being completely alone, of grief and guilt so heavy heās surprised it didnāt break his spine as surely as Jakeās knife in his back. He doesnāt actually remember feeling it, which is no small mercy, but he saw the effects of living with it, which is almost as bed. He'd thought what heās feeling because of Jessica is as low as he could get. Itās not even close.
He wants to dig up her bones and breathe life into them, but at almost a year dead he thinks thatās beyond even this strange new power. Even like this, heās failing Jessica one more time.
āGot any ideas?ā he asks. āIt wasnāt like this before. With the blood.ā
Heād drank Ruby nearly dry more than once. It had been a high and then a crash and never did it give him access to this type of power.
āAzazel is ā was a prince of hell,ā Cas answers.
Sam frowns. āI thought he was king?ā
āHe was regent,ā he corrects, ābut to be a prince is separate from being ruler of hell. Lucifer created Lilith from bone, as Adam and Eve were made. The princes were created from his blood. Azazelās blood is, in a way, Luciferās.ā
Luciferās blood. Sam, his vessel, drinking down Luciferās blood, as a baby and now. Except as a baby heād only had a few drops. Heād consumed a lot more than that back at the cabin.
Demon blood always wore off. The few drops of Azazelās blood heād gotten as a baby never had. He probably should have taken that into consideration, but there hadnāt been any time.
āLucifer is evil but he is not a demon,ā Cas continues.
Sam realizes suddenly that he did have power like this once. When he locked away Lucifer inside of him and took his power for his own. Itās not the same, not even close, but itās similar. āThis is what angel blood does?ā
āNo,ā he says. āThis is what Archangel Luciferās blood does to his perfect vessel. I believe. This has never happened before, so I cannot be certain. You are, as always, one of kind, Sam Winchester.ā
Itās not quite a compliment, but itās not as combative as he remembers Castiel being in the beginning. Heāll take it. āGuess weāll figure it out together, then. If youāre sticking around to help prevent the apocalypse.ā
If heās not, this is going to be more than difficult. Tracking down all the seals without an angel on his side isnāt going to be impossible, but pretty damn close. And he doesnāt know how much time he has. Hell is going to be pissed about him killing Azazel. Heaven is probably going to take notice once he starts destroying seals so they can never be opened. Not to mention, heās definitely going to be on huntersā radar. Even if Dad can keep his mouth shut about him drinking demon blood, which he knows better than to rely on, him bringing back people from the dead is going to spread quickly. Heās going to be hunted at all sides, just like last time.
At least last time he had Dean, even broken, even when he was broken himself. He still had his brother.
But this is the price for saving him. For making sure that Dean is never in the position to kick off the apocalypse in the first place, to make it so Lucifer never again walks the earth even if heaven and hell reincarnate him and Dean and try and start this all over again.
Heās going to be killed for it, he knows, by demons or angels or hunters. But that doesnāt matter much in the grand scheme of things.
āYes,ā Cas says. āIt is better for us all if the future you saw never comes to pass. I will help you.ā
He grins, clapping Cas on the shoulder, and only laughs at the glare he receives in return. They have to get out of here before the altitude makes him loopy. Maybe it already has.
Heās going to save the world for his brother and heās not even going to get to keep him.
How fucked up is that?
#well this got way out of control#what else is new#me: just write the opening scene of this idea so you can stop thinking about it it'll only like like 500 words#incredible amazing how that's literally never the case#anyway#sam and cas's life changing field trip#supernatural
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okay but you see sam has ALSO fallen for dean's act. sam also believes dean to be the macho, daddy's soldier, beer boobs cars guy he presents himself as. this is why sam makes fun of dean whenever he even lightly steps out of that mold and thinks it's harmless banter instead of attacking an insecurity. it's why he laughs when john talks down to dean in the early seasons and it's why he seems surprised when dean is more comfortable with himself in the later seasons. it's why he just scoffs but doesn't push it when dean puts up a front and refuses to talk about his emotions and just accepts whatever excuse he makes at face value. it's why he offers dean a strip club to make him feel better when cas dies. and this isn't his fault!! dean has spent a very long time perfecting this image in front of everyone and ESPECIALLY to sam because along with it comes safety and security and stability and the only person. who has consistently been able to see through it. is castiel
#charlie also a bit bc dean doesn't have to be desirable to her as a man or as a son#altho i would argue that she doesn't see through him he just doesn't perform as much for her. cas actively sees through it#this is why sam has never caught on to dean being queer also. btw. dean isn't closeted he's just never made a big deal of telling sam#you never really know your parents just the version of them they want you to see etc etc#anyway this is also why sam is thought to be More Sensitive in comparison#by people who have also fallen for the Act. i call this the General Audience Dean Act#because it was who he was SUPPOSED to be from kripke's pen until jensen went ummmmm no. he has trauma :) and forcibly gave him layers#this is also not samcrit btw i always need to clarify that#i am bad at sam studies but i think you could also write posts (and ppl have) about how dean doesn't truly know sam either#bc he has Little Baby Brother zoned him forever even though he is almost 40 by the end of s15
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āweāve lost everything. and now youāre gonna bring him back.ā
heās lost EVERYTHING. he needs HIM back.
he?????? is EVERYTHING??????????!?!!!?
he begged!!!!!! he begged god!!!!!!!!!! he fucking said please.
#i need to bite something#why would you write that#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#dean supernatural#castiel#castiel supernatural#cas#destiel#deancas#dean x castiel#destiel my beloved
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So Dean is fucked up after Cas is taken into the Empty obviously, all melancholy, no sleep, drinking too much, you know his gist. Sam probably tries to get him to talk about it, but he would never tell him everything Cas said, you know. So Dean is miserable, and Sam is miserable, but THEY DON'T STOP trying to get Cas back.
And they do, somehow. So Cas appears somewhere in the library or wherever they were Doing What Brought Him Back and there's a second of confused, vulnerable silence because this can't be real don't believe it's real he's gonna disappear and it's gonna suck all over again but he stays, and looks at Dean, and then Dean is hugging him, clutching him like... well, like everything that happened, happened, and they're breathing each other in. Cas hasn't had the chance to think about what it all means, yet, so he's not overthinking it. Then they break apart, and Dean has tears in his eyes and his lower lip is shaking, and while Sam hugs Cas, too, Dean's body is like, shutting down, months of exhaustion (physical and emotional) catching up to him, and he feels it coming, so when Sam gets Cas to sit down, making him drink some water, Dean's like "I'm just gonna-" and he's running into his room and he doesn't even make it inside before he starts sobbing. He's sitting against his bed, his face in his hands, all wet now, when Sam comes in. Maybe he knocked, maybe not, Dean couldn't hear him. And he tries to cover himself a little, but Sam sees anyway, and he's so tired, so he just. Doesn't care.
And Sam says, "Dean, don't hide from him" and Dean isn't sobbing anymore but he's still crying into his palms, saying "I'm so tired, Sammy" and Sam knows. He doesn't know what happened between Dean and Cas but Cas said he did something and now Dean wouldn't feel comfortable around him. So, you know. Sam can guess, a little.
So he says, "He thinks you don't want anything to do with him anymore" and "you should go talk to him" and Dean is like "I can't" and he doesn't know why, maybe because he's exhausted, or because he doesn't know what to say to him , or because Cas sacrifised himself for him again, or because he told him he loved him and turned Dean's world upside down and disappeared, or maybe because he's scared.
And Sam knows this is all happening in Dean's head and he knows some of it is whispered to him in their dad's voice, so he says, "you know nothing in the world would ever change how I think of you," and Dean's head snaps towards him, wet with bloodshot eyes, confused and terrified, but he doesn't say anything, so Sam asks, "what really happened down there?" and Dean knows Sam knows. There's a hand squeezing his heart and lungs and he can't breathe, and Sam knows, and Dean wishes he could go back to when it wasn't even an option.
"He's your best friend," Sam says, and he is, he is, he's Dean's best friend, above all else, it's not just sacrifises and battles and blood and desperate confessions, it's also movies and music and inside jokes, so Dean asks Sam to get Cas. He does, and leaves them in Dean's room alone. And Dean says "don't ever die for me again" and "you think you saved me but i was barely alive" and "next time we die together" which is maybe a little fucked up, but he's feeling so raw. He says, "you're my best friend" and looks at Cas, hoping Cas hears everything he isn't saying, how Cas is the most important person in all the universes to Dean. He's family, but he doesn't say that, doesn't want Cas to think he's family like anyone else, because Cas is more. To Dean, Cas is- something Dean won't say yet, but he is.
And they have a quiet dinner with Sam because they're all tired, and Cas showers while they turn on the TV and bring out a couple of beers, and they act like it's a normal day in their life. Dean's head keeps falling and his eyes keep closing, his temples aching, but he stays, and at some point Sam goes to sleep, and when they're alone Cas tries to get Dean to go, too, but he keeps coming up with lame excuses to stay and Cas doesn't know what to make of it until he thinks maybe Dean doesn't want to be alone, or even - maybe Dean doesn't want to leave Cas alone, maybe he's scared something will happen to him again, or maybe he wants to just - be with Cas longer. And Cas is completely out of his element, because why would Dean- But it doesn't matter. His priority has always been Dean's well-being, so if there's any chance Dean is pushing himself because of - some of that, Cas will step up.
So he asks Dean if he can sleep in Dean's room tonight because he doesn't want to be alone. And there's a blaring red light going off in Dean head, screaming he knows he knows he knows Dean wants him to... what? Dean doesn't even know. Cas is asking as if for himself, for Dean's benefit, and Dean. God. Dean loves him, doesn't he? He's always loved him, but he loves him like... like... but he doesn't think it, still. He feels too open, now, and he wants to lock himself in his room and sleep it off and drink and stop feeling so vulnerable, he thinks he must be an open book to everyone, to Cas especially, and god, could people always tell? Can Cas tell, now? But why does it matter? Cas told him- he told him-
But none of it matters, because Cas is here, and he's offereing Dean an easy way out, and Dean is a weak, weak man, and he's exhausted and all he wants is to breathe Cas' air and know he's here, and not going anywhere.
So Dean puts on an old T-shirt and gets out of his jeans like he always does before realizing Cas is here. He flushes all over, sits down on his bed because he didn't think about how this was gonna go. Cas glances at the desk as if he was gonna sit in his chair the whole night, and Dean doesn't actually know if Cas sleeps now or doesn't, which he maybe should've thought of before, but before he can say anything, Cas says, "Dean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable" and Dean, completely lost, says the first thing that comes to his mind, which is, "can you lie down with me?" which is not exactly how he was gonna tell Cas he's the opposite of uncomfortable with him, but it does the trick. He makes Cas get out of his dress pants and gives him a T-shirt to sleep in, too, and flushes even more when he realizes what Cas is wearing. Dean lies down when Cas steps towards the bed, faces the wall because he doesn't know what to do with himself. They lie in silence for an awkward moment before Cas says, "are we okay?" and Dean says, "of course we are" and Dean knows Cas is still overthinking it, and he is, too, but... Cas took the leap, and he must feel so uncertain about them, and Dean thinks he owes him something, at least. Cas told him he loved him. Nothing felt right since then, because Cas died and because Cas thought he could never have what he wanted and because Cas thought he wasn't the most important person in Dean's life with Sammy, whatever that meant, and because Dean had to come to terms with that reality, a reality where Cas loves him, has loved him, him, Dean, broken and all. A man. A man Cas thought beautiful, and loving, and- and Dean has many issues, but Cas was never one of them, and Cas deserves to feel certain about his place in Dean's life.
So Dean asks Cas to come closer, and there's a still moment before Cas does, still too far away from Dean, and Dean can't see him, can't make himself turn because his heart is beating so loud he thinks if he looks at Cas, it's gonna beat out of his chest. So he reaches behind himself, finds Cas' hand and brings it forward, keeps it between his hands and brings them to his face. Breathes Cas in. "Please don't leave again" he says, in that tone he used when he prayed to Cas. He feels Cas shift, finally, as if he lost some of the tension from his body, feels the bed dip behind him, and he doesn't know how Cas moves but then Dean's back is pressed against Cas' front, and despite his beating heart, Dean is feeling the exhaustion start to take him. "Cas, I..." he tries, but he can't think anymore, can't make sense of anything.
"You can fall asleep, Dean," Cas says, his words warm in Dean's hair and the last thing he hears before sleep takes him is "I will be here when you wake up."
So when Dean wakes up, it's to a heavy arm around his chest and slow breaths against the back of his head. There's no moment of confusion about who he's with, or why. He doesn't even get a second to consider if it was real before Cas says "good morning, Dean" and Dean wonders if Cas slept at all. If he needs to sleep, now. There's so much they need to talk about, all three of them.
"Cas," he tries again, remembereing his attempt from last night. He needs Cas to know, for sure. "Cas, I - what you said. You know I. I've never..." and Cas is like "I know, Dean" but he sounds a little confused, so Dean doensn't know what Cas thinks he knows. So he turns, takes a second to notice how close they are now, and he thinks about Cas' eyes, his lips. Thinks, soon.
"You have to know," he says, as if Cas didn't say anything. "You have to know how I - what I" and he can't get the words out, not sure if it would be easier if there were no words to get out or if there were no voices in his head screaming over them. So he breathes in, Cas' scent overtaking his senses, brings his palm to Cas' face. Closes his eyes. Thinks, soon. Thinks, now, and meets Cas halfway.
#i dont feel like writing the fic#but if i did id focus on#how melancholic everything is in the beginning#how sam is a good brother who knows how scared dean is of being bi mostly because of john#and how awkward and embarrassing dean is when he tries to stay awake to be with cas#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#suffering dean is my favorite dean sorry#but i know you're all the same
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#saph says#supernatural#sam winchester#samuel winchester#spn#I like the beard era#maybe also cas#but Dean gets to kiss him#thatās not my job#but my spn oc?#she gets to kiss Sam#ooohhhh just you wait#till I can write again#itās gonna be s16 but my way#I love this little blood freak#he has never done anything wrong in his life
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The first time Castiel heard the phrase to 'kiss something better' he thought it sounded like a ridiculous notion.
How could a kiss heal a wound? Kisses held no magic. No power.
But Castiel found the phrase drifting back to him while he looked at Dean, hissing with pain as he wiped blood away from his grazed skin.
(Dean insisted on wearing jeans with useless intentional rips on the knees, so it felt inevitable that he would eventually scuff the skin there.) (Castiel had even told him so.) (Dean had told him to stop being such a nag.)
Strange how Castiel knew that there were no mystical properties to a kiss, and yet now it was all he could think about. He could sink to his knees and place his lips directly over the wound, letting his grace knit the flesh below. Or... he could grab a fistful of Dean's flannel and crush his lips to Castiel's own, walking them backwards until they hit the wall, bodies lined up, grace pouring in through their joined lips to thread down Dean's body to the injury and-
"Hey, Cas? You okay there, buddy?" Dean said, snapping Castiel out of his thoughts. His lips pulled up into a playful grin that actively grew as Castiel huffed and narrowed his eyes. "Y'kinda giving me a look like you might smite me or eat me."
"Your jeans are impractical," Castiel snapped in a deep rumble. He prodded Dean in the forehead with two fingertips - felt his grace seal the injury instantly - and disappeared with a hard flap of wings.
#once again I am writing fic instead of sleeping. making all the good and sensible life choices asdjklklfj#Deans just sitting there injured while Cas is having a full gay crisis#destiel#destiel ficlet#castiel#pie's projects#destiel fanfic
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soooooo incheresting. i just watched a video that counted all the times dean said cas and castiel through out the series and it kept a count of the castiel's separate. he said castiel a total of 16 times throughout the whole series and SIX of those times were in season 6!!!! and every single one of those in season 6 was dean praying to him. which notably none of the other castiel's were part of a prayer. god dean is just like....pining for cas so hard in season 6 and after they stopped the apocalypse it's like castiel just drifted so far away from him and he got all powerful again and dean KNOWS that something is going on with him but cas is just keeping him at such a distance (because he's trying to protect him from everything going on with heaven's civil war). so suddenly when dean's praying even when he's making a joke of it (which is often) he's saying castiel instead of cas.
#man i NEED to write a s6 destiel fic so bad#btw dean said cas 641 times throughout the series#i also watched the how many times cas said dean video and was surprised it was only 429!#but i guess maybe that makes sense because cas is in a lot less scenes/episodes#destiel#spn#jenna.post
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the thing is, dean thought it would be hardā¦ he agonized over it for years. he wanted itā¦ wanted it badly. couldnāt stop himself from staring, licking his lips and staring at casā mouth; imagining how it would feel to slot their lips together and kiss the angel until their was no air left in his lungs. if he leaned over just slightly, he could feel those lips against hisā¦ but kissing cas always sounded easier in theory then actually doing it.
except, it turned out, kissing cas was the easiest thing dean had ever done in his life.
sitting at the kitchen table, cas had just taste-tested the batter for a cake dean was making for jackās birthday. cas was smiling at him in that fond way that lit up his eyes and lowered his eyebrows; so tender and soft. settling into the seat next to cas, dean moved to slide his hand gently across casā jaw; cupping his cheek. casā eyes darted down to deanās palm, calculated for a second, and melted into an even softer expression as he moved to rest his own hand on deanās wrist.
dean softly stroked his thumb over casā cheekboneā¦ and that was it. leaning in the rest of the way to brush his lips against casā was like coming home. cas let out this soft little hum and then he was kissing dean back, so earth-shatteringly good as their lips melded together. and when dean broke the kiss, drawing in fast shaky breaths as his lungs burned and his lips ached to chase casā mouth again for another taste, cas brushed his nose against deanās and rested their foreheads against each other. āyou have no idea how long Iāve been waiting for that,ā cas murmured.
deanās heart lurched in his chest, and he cupped casā other cheek and pulled him back in for another kiss. ābest not make you wait any longer then,ā dean said against casā mouth as he kissed cas again and againā¦ and again.
#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#spn#deancas#dcsnapshots#hiiiiii im back to writing again#deancaskiss is back to writing about dean and cas kissing hehe#god Iāve missed this#the last few weeks have been hell for me and Iāve struggled with depression and anxiety and wanted to kms#buttttt life is getting better and im happier and new opportunities are about to start
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tbh one of my favorite flavor of destiel is when cas doesn't come back.
they defeat chuck. its a close call, but dean doesnāt die in a barn.
and cas doesn't come back.
for the entire first year and a half, dean is in a manic state doing everything to bring him back. making deals, ancient black magic, blackmailing the queen of hell, the whole nine yards. reads every single book in the MOL library three times over. he doesn't sleep. doesn't eat. when sam marries eileen, dean can't wait for the tiny ceremony to be over so he can go back to the summoning ritual he's preparing. this time, it has to work.
and then reality hits. he has tried everything at least twice with no avail. and he's not coming back. there's nothing more to try. the next two years, he spends in a depressive haze. when he doesn't drink, he sleeps. sometimes he's angry. smashes his fists against the dungeon wall that once took everything from him. once it was covered in black, now it's covered in red. but most of the time, he doesn't feel anything at all.
on the four year anniversary, dean makes up his mind.
he needs to live. he doesn't want to. not without cas. but cas the sonofabitch sacrificed himself for dean, so no matter how much he wants to put a round through his brains, he can't. because then it all would be for nothing. cas sentenced him to life by dying for him. so dean patiently picks the shattered pieces of himself up and does his best to glue them back together. he moves out of the bunker. he gets a cat, or maybe it's the cat that got him, he's still not sure how it happened. and a job. when his coworkers asks, he tells them he's a widow. he doesn't explain further.
in the end, he's actually living the life he's always longed for. and he's pretty content. but the most important puzzle piece is still missing. and will always do.
#sana shut up#AND HE LIVES HIS ENTIRE LIFE LIKE THAT#because he CAN'T DIE BECAUSE CAS SENTENCED HIM TO LIFE BY DYING FOR HIM#goddammit#destiel#idk if i should tag this as#ficlet#lol#also i have not proofread this and haven't been writing in english for like 2 years so yeah there's that
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SWEET FEBRUARY a prompt list
hey guys! i did this sweet prompt list to maybe isnpire some of you into the valentine's day breeze, even tho i myself dont have this "holiday" on my country lol
you can use the list for whatever you like: sims, lookbooks, poses, photoshoots, blenders, anything! you dont even need to do all days or follow the order, just do what speaks to you! its purpose is to bring inspiration for you to create!!
have fun and tag me!!!!!!!!!! #SweetFebruarySims
#the sims 4#sims 4#sims 4 screenshots#writing prompt#prompt#sims 4 challenge#sims challenge#sims#cas challenge#ts4 challenge
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You know, Iām something of a Lost Media Hunter myself ššš
#This is not a time-limited question btw iāve tried to find it again for YEARS#y yo a ti cas#y yo a tĆ cas#destiel confession#15x18 despair#spn 15x18#supernatural despair#destiel#castiel#dean winchester#supernatural#supernatural memes#spn memes#spn shitposts#supernatural shitpost#i write shitposts not tragedies
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