#cas hearing Dean’s thoughts would just be sad LMAO

[jibberjibbsart]

I love that I haven’t even finished Power Hour (the next part is coming! TLDR I adopted a cat and she’s taking up a lot of my time! She’s a cutie) but I already have an idea for a shorter comic.

Mabel sees the tension between Dean and Cas and she wants to play matchmaker and so she finds a flower that can be brewed into a tea and it will “reveal that which is hidden”. She thinks this means Dean and Cas will come clean about their feelings. She brews the tea and gives it to both of them, except Cas doesn’t drink it. “Too many molecules, but I appreciate the gesture.” Mabel isn’t sure what this means for the spell, but she hopes it works!

The next day Dean wakes up and pats Sam on the arm… and in his head he hears Sam’s voice “Jesus he stinks, hope he’s headed for the shower.” Dean is confused but he calls Sam a bitch and thinks nothing of it. Sam is also confused. Later Dean runs into Steven fixing up his car. Dean is happy to help and as he brushes against Steven’s shoulder he hears Steven’s voice this time “I’m so embarrassed, my dad lived in his van for how many years and I don’t know anything about cars. I can’t let Dean know that.” Dean flinches. Okay now it’s weird. He goes to Luz and Amity. He asks them if they can detect spells/curses/hexes. Neither of them are proficient in oracle magic but they can try. Amity grabs Dean’s hand and he hears “Maybe if he didn’t fight so many witches in the past he wouldn’t need to be worried about getting cursed.” She tells him she can’t detect anything.

Finally he’s back at his hotel and Cas is there reading a book. Cas asks him if everything is okay and Dean doesn’t reveal anything, just flops down onto the bed and sighs dramatically. Then Dean feels Cas’s reassuring hand on his back. Then he hears his voice “I hate seeing Dean like this, I wish there were a way to lift his spirits. He has a beautiful smile.” Dean’s eyes snap open and he looks at Cas wide eyed. Cas does his little head tilt and asks if everything’s okay. Dean just nods.

Yes this is based off of Cherry Magic, I just watched it and became obsessed with it

[zepskies]

Hey, lovely!! I was just too damn excited after all the love you and others gave on Part 1! I had to follow it up with Part 2. 😘 And I know his hair is different in that gif but when I saw it I just had to use it. His perfect damn smile. 🤪

So you know I’m also a fan of procedurals too and I love how you built up the firehouse in this. They do feel like such a family with the good natured bickering and I love all the personalities you managed to get in.

I'm SO happy you say so, because that's exactly what we both love about those procedurals -- in that the team really does feel like a family. So it's very gratifying to hear that I was able to do that here as well!

I thought Jack would be the perfect newbie lol. He's got such an earnest personality. Also I'm not sure as of yet if I'm bringing Henry back into the story, but I might be able to later! Thank you for calling me clever though. 😘

And I feel like Meg is a bit of the wild card. 😂 Sassy and spitfire for sure, but when you get down to it she cares about her job, and she'll do anything for her loved ones. (At least that's how I want to play her here). But she's also going to bring some...interesting moments in the future lol.

Intrigued to see chuck in this and again, similar to Gordon, knowing what we know about him on the show I’m intrigued as to what you’re going to do with his character.

So believe it or not, Gordon's going to have a bigger role than Chuck in this story. When you asked if Gordon was going to "try it with the reader too," you actually weren't too far off the mark... 🫣🫣

But yeah you make a great point that how he talks about the reader is markedly different from how Dean does (even if he's thinking the same things lol. He's a man, after all. But he's ultimately a respectful one.).

But deans thoughts of the reader just had me grinning so much! How he’s instantly drawn to her and the little details he fixes on. It made me all warm inside 🥰🥰

Aww I love that!! I know you're one to appreciate the details. ❤️❤️

And the fact she baked to feed the five thousand was both hilarious and apt considering it’s the fire house.

LOL "to feed the five thousand" is hilarious and accurate. 🤣🤣 My uncle was actually a firefighter, and they sure can eat.

But oh are you kidding me? This? This right here is the moment he decides to rein it in, curb his behaviour and be professional. Damn girl. You’re killing me 😂 I was sad to see Dean already assume he’s not going to be good enough, though that’s perfect for his character!

Yeeeep, can't have Dean without self-deprecating!Dean, now can we? 😂 You'll see more of his reasoning in the next chapter. But glad to see I "gotcha" on that moment where he reins it in loll. He'll have his opportunity next chapter, trust me. 🤭

Also glad you loved the team teasing Dean! That scene was too much fun to write loll. Especially Meg's quip about the Hallmark movie. 😂 I so wish she would've did a Dean impression on the show; she certainly mocked him quite a bit. 😂

I love that you’ve also jumped straight into the drama. Not only do we have a murder, but a string of them and the same mark of the murderer of Mary Winchester. Damn you’re going deep here my friend and I love it. I look forward to trying to solve the case as this progresses. I do agree with Cas though, John keeping things from his boys never ends well.

Oooh yessss. All the drama to come! I went deeper than I expected to with this story, but as you know by now, apparently I can't do anything that isn't convoluted lmao. Need to add in a dash of "serial killer" to the agenda. But the idea of John as a detective wouldn't let me go!

Again I just want to say I’m so happy the reader has a friend like Dre. That flashback scene to Nick was foul. I’m not at all surprised he did it but it’s just such disgusting behaviour. I look forward to the reader ultimately getting the best of him as it has to happen right?

Her and Dre's friendship is going to be very important throughout this story, just as Nick is going to be a thorn in all of our sides for a while. 😒😒 He's a pig, unfortunately. And a power-hungry arrogant one.

Without giving anything away, I'll just say that the road is long for the reader yet lol.

I enjoyed seeing the relationships build more with the guys. Cas and Megs relationship kinda sounds like my worst nightmare. I just couldn’t live with crazy like that 😂 it works for some I guess though lol. Love Sam and Eileen and I hope we get more of them too!

Oh Cas and Meg are volatile, but ultimately they make it work for them. 😂😂 I think Sam and Eileen is much more our speeds in the type of relationship they have loll. Eileen will be mentioned a lot, but I hope to get her in the story later on!

But LOL the "carpet burn" line was one of my favorites here, honestly. So glad that you liked how the guys teased him. Even though they "know" about him and Jo, that was too brief for it to really count as a long-term relationship. (That'll be brought back up again later...)

I CANT BELIEVE YOU LEFT IT THERE. HOW COULD YOU DO THAT 😂 man it’s not even a cliffhanger yet and I’m dying for more. I just thought we were going to get some good stuff and Dean was finally going to go for it 😂🙈

It wasn't technically a cliffhanger, but it kind of feels like one, doesn't it? 😂😂 Don't worry, Dean's finally going to "make his move" in Part 3.

But aww I'm so glad I've managed to hook you, my friend!! I'm having so much fun with this story already. 🥰💕💕

Smoke Eater - Part 2

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.   

AN: I was overwhelmed by the response on Part 1 (in the BEST way). 🥹 Thank you so much for everyone who read and sent me your lovely amazing comments! Here's Part 2 a bit early for ya. 😘

🔥Series Masterlist

Word Count: 6,400 Tags/Warnings: Idiots flirting, with a side of sexual harassment. 😪

Part 2: "Lieutenant Winchester"

Firehouse 25 was just as much a house as it was a home.

Especially for Dean Winchester.

In the common room, he sat down at his preferred corner of the sofa with a cup of coffee. By now, the guys knew this was his spot, perfectly angled toward the new flatscreen TV someone donated last month.

Up until then, they’d had to hotwire the same tank from 1995, which had only got basic cable. Now at least the newer smart TV came with a subscription to Netflix, courtesy of the donor. 

Dean raised his favorite Batman mug to his face, expecting to imbibe some rich dark roast. What he got was a travesty.

Spitting out the brown soil water back into the mug, he coughed and grimaced.

“Jack!” he called out.

Jack Kline, the newest addition to the house, raised his head from where he was trying to scramble eggs in the open kitchen directly behind the couch.

“Yes, Lieutenant?” he replied.

“Why does this coffee taste like ass?” Dean asked. His voice was still gruff with sleep, as he depended on his morning coffee to wake him up, not assault his tongue.

Behind him, Jack blinked in confusion. “Uh…”

Dean finally turned around and gave the younger man a raised brow.

“What brand did you buy, Candidate?” he asked.

A candidate was a freshly graduated firefighter on probation. They were the rookie, the bottom rung of the totem pole, and Jack was that proverbial whipping post.

“Um…” Jack went to find the coffee canister he’d put away in the cupboards. He showed Dean the red plastic jug. “Folgers. It was on sale.”

“Fuck me,” Dean muttered. “Never Folgers, Candidate. Anything but fucking Folgers. The one thing we don’t skimp out on is quality joe.”

“That ain’t nothin’ but dirt water, son,” Benny remarked, as he and Gordon entered the common room. Benny held a to-go mug he’d brought from home. After he’d seen what Jack brought for groceries yesterday, he’d taken no chances.

“What you wanna get is Gevalia,” Benny added.

“That European crap?” said Gordon. He took his usual spot at the dining table, leaning back in his chair. It left Benny to sit at the other end of the couch with Dean.

“Better than that piss water you drink,” Benny said with a smirk. Gordon raised a brow at him.

“Tea is medicinal, jackass.” The Black man raised a finger to punctuate his point. “It’s good for you. Unlike that carburetor fluid y’all drink.”

“Whatever, man,” Dean said, even though a grin edged at his lips. “All I know is, we need premium coffee, stat. Or it’s gonna be a cranky shift.”

“I can go to the store real quick,” Jack offered.

Say what you want about the kid’s poor taste in grocery buying, he was always willing to jump in when you needed him.

“Nah, stay on breakfast,” said Dean. “I’ll go afterwards. But remember, today you’re practicing rappelling drills.”

Jack nodded. “And lunch duty. And helping clean the truck, and all the bathrooms…did I miss anything?”

Dean shared a look with Gordon. Not only did he drive the truck, but he was one of the men Dean relied on most, as he had the next highest seniority on the job out of the whole firehouse.

Well, except for Benny Lafitte, Captain of the Rescue Squad. Squad members were considered specialists in complex rescue situations. They were highly trained on more sophisticated technical rescue equipment and rappelling, even scuba diving.

It took long years for a firefighter to make it onto Squad; something that Dean used to have ambitions for. But ever since he got promoted to Lieutenant on Truck 79, he realized that his role in this house was best served on the Truck, not on Squad.

“If he gets through all that, Meg might have something for him too,” Gordon said.

“Oh, don’t bring me into this,” remarked a droll voice. “I’ve already got one pound puppy to look after.”

Their Paramedic in Charge strode in with Chuck on her heels. They’d just pulled into the firehouse driveway on Ambulance 7.

“Nice. That’s how you talk about your partner of three years?” Chuck said with a frown. Meg turned to him with a wry grin.

“Only the ones who can hack it on my Ambo,” she replied. “What can I say. You’re special, Shurley. Either that, or a glutton for punishment.”

Gordon shook his head and looked over at Jack.

“Careful with that one. She chewed and hacked out her last partner in under a month.”

“Poor guy didn’t even transfer,” Dean added, making a “flatlining” motion with his hand. “He just quit. Dropped out of the Fire Academy that same day.”

Not all firefighters were made through Meg’s department, but it was a common route, working as a paramedic while getting put through your paces in the Fire Academy. Dean himself had gone straight to the Academy after getting his EMT certification.

But at Dean’s words, Jack’s eyes widened a fraction. Meg turned to him with an almost feline smile. 

“How was the call?” Benny asked her, speaking of the job they’d just returned from. Meg’s expression dimmed a little, as did Chuck’s as they both sat down at the table.

“Ah, just Henry again,” she said. “Overdosed on his insulin.”

Benny frowned, while Dean shook his head. Jack’s brows furrowed.

“Who’s Henry?” he asked.

Meg sat back in her chair with a subtle sigh. Knowing his work partner’s mood, Chuck answered the young man’s question.

“He’s homeless, lives by the river,” he said. “He’s one of our ‘regulars,’ you could say. When we get the call, usually he’s passed out. Dehydration. But sometimes it’s more serious.”

“You can’t take him to the hospital?” Jack asked in concern.

“Today we did,” Meg said. Her brown eyes met Jack’s, her mouth in a thin line. “But without health insurance, there’s only so much they can do after they get him stable.”

That fell a bit heavily into the room. It wasn’t a pleasant fact, but it was the reality. Jack was learning more and more about that aspect of this job, and learning if he could handle the darker shades of what it could bring.

“Well, breakfast is ready,” he said, bringing a large plate of eggs and toast onto the counter. Dean tossed him an appreciative half-smile and got up from the couch.

“Thanks, kid,” he said, walking over along with everyone else. He took a moment to pat Jack on the shoulder.

“What do you want to do first: run drills, or help me and Gordon wash the truck?” Dean asked.

Jack looked up with a smile. “Can we run drills first?”

Dean nodded, grinning back at him. “Good answer.”

The rest of the Truck and Squad crews ambled in at both the announcement and the smell of food. And before long, the common room was filled with conversation, good-natured teasing, and shitty coffee all around.   

From his vantage point facing the open door to the driveway, Benny caught sight of a young woman heading towards the double doors with a large tupperware bin in hand. Bonnie the receptionist happened to be coming in at the same time. You asked her a question Benny couldn’t quite hear.

“Dean… Oh, you’re looking for Lieutenant Winchester?” Bonnie asked. Her voice tended to carry. “Right in there, hun.”

“Well, that sure is interesting,” Benny murmured with a smile. He glanced over slyly at his friend. “Heads up, brother.”

Dean looked up from his plate of eggs expectantly. Benny gestured over with his eyes, just as you walked into the firehouse, both cautious and unsure of where you were going.

Dean’s brows raised. He found himself setting down his plate and getting up from the couch before he really knew what he was doing.

You looked exactly how he remembered. Though this time, you weren’t coffee stained in your professional blouse and black pencil skirt. His attention drew briefly downwards to your heels, this time solid black (and even taller than the last pair, damn).

He noticed all the same things he had last time: the shade of your hair, pinned up again with a clip as stray pieces framed your face. The way you carried yourself when you finally saw him, straightening with a subtle confidence in your shoulders, even though you looked a bit nervous. And the pretty curve of your lips when your eyes found his.

“Hey, there,” Dean said. He gave you one of his trademark smiles. “Good to see you again.”

“Uh, hi,” you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I guess I don’t have to ask if you remember me.”

Dean nodded. “‘Course I do. What can I do for you?”

Your face seemed to freeze up a bit as you looked up at him.

“Oh, um, nothing really. I just wanted to say thank you, again,” you said. And you glanced past him, where the rest of the firehouse members were discreetly watching. “All of you, actually. And my friend told me that firefighters really like food…but, I mean, doesn’t everyone?”

You laughed a little, in a nervous way that made Dean struggle not to smile too much.

“Anyway, I like to bake,” you twittered on, “and I had some time this week after…well, you know what happened. So…I brought this!”

You raised up your tupperware with a smile.

And you were damn adorable, Dean thought. His own smile deepened as he glanced down at the offering, then at you. He took the container and opened the lid, and was honestly surprised at what he saw.

He could’ve sworn these were Bonafede, just-poured-out-of-the-box Girl Scout cookies. Dozens of them. He saw shortbreads (complete with the little wavy lines), Samoa cookies with the coconut flakes, and even what looked like chocolate covered Thin Mints. They also smelled delicious.

“Wow. Thanks, sweetheart,” he said, with genuine warmth. “I’m pretty sure the guys are gonna tear these apart the second I put ‘em down.”

Your face brightened, and Dean noticed how it reached your eyes with a bit of a blush.

“Well, I hope you guys enjoy,” you said. Your hands fiddled with your purse next.

“Heading off to work now?” he asked.

“Yep,” you nodded, with a certain glint in your eye. “I plan on taking the stairs this time.”

Dean raised a brow. “All 22 floors?”

“Gotta get my steps in somehow,” you joked. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to become a repeat offender, make you guys come all the way back across town again.”

“Aw, I wouldn’t mind,” he said, meeting your eyes. And he found that he meant it. In fact, he didn’t think he’d mind if your building’s elevator broke down every damn week.

Your expression shifted towards amusement. “Well, you must be very dedicated to your job.”

“Protect and serve,” Dean teased back. “That’s our motto, you know.”

“Isn’t that for police officers?” you quipped.

He chuckled. “Hey, if the shoe fits.”

“Well…” you considered that with a tilt of your head, more seriously than he expected you to. You met him with a more earnest gaze. “I think it does.”

Right then, Dean had a feeling, deep in his gut, that he needed to know you. He had half a mind to heed his instincts, to take advantage of the signals he thought you were sending him, and ask if he could take you out sometime.

But it was unprofessional here at the firehouse (not that that had stopped him before). He’d been making efforts to curb that kind of behavior for the past few months.

He also remembered the 30 floors of your massive, fancy office building. He considered the price tags that probably came with the admittedly sexy, high-powered corporate look you had going on. Those were probably a lot more zeros than he was used to seeing on his paycheck.

So for once, he didn’t pull the trigger.

“Well, thanks. I really do appreciate that,” Dean replied. His smile then was more sincere, if also more professional. He gestured at the container in his hand. “And on behalf of all the guys, thanks for this too.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied. “I have to go, but…thanks again, Lieutenant Winchester.”

“Ah,” he shook his head, “just call me Dean.”

You agreed by smiling, just a little bit more.

“Dean.”

He nodded back, sending you off with a smile of his own. He forced himself to taper it down after you left, and he had to turn around to meet his friends. Their grins reminded him of piranhas.

“All right. Out with it, you freakin’ jackals.” He waved his free hand in a “bring it on” gesture.

Meg was the first one to burst out laughing. It spearheaded the rest of them, whooping and catcalling and generally being menaces. Even Jack was grinning at his lieutenant’s expense.

Meg got up from her seat and bumped Dean’s shoulder on her way to the kitchen, where she dumped her dishes.

“Thanks again, Lieutenant Winchester,” she mocked in a saccharine sweet voice. Then she lowered it into an exaggerated mimic of his deeper one, “Call me Dean, baby girl. Fucking priceless. You should get your own Hallmark movie.”

Dean rolled his eyes. He’d been prepared for this, but his face was still getting warm.

“Shut up, Meg,” he tossed back. They all had an ongoing Family Guy joke that never failed to make their PIC narrow her eyes. And she did so now, giving him a fake grimace as she left the kitchen.

“All right, kiddos. If you need me, don’t,” she said. “Chuck! Let’s sort the ambo’s inventory.”

“Got it,” her partner nodded. He too got up and placed his dishes in the sink before he took off after Meg.

This left Dean with the rest of the guys, who still gave him knowing smiles as he set your bin of cookies down on the table. He blew out a breath before he returned to the couch and sat down heavily across from Benny and Gordon.

“I never thought I’d see the day that Dean Winchester bitched out,” Gordon remarked.

Once again, Dean rolled his eyes.

“Truly incredible,” Benny added. He shook his head when Dean just crossed his arms. “She was eying you like a pork cutlet, and you just let her walk outta here.”

“We’re in the house, guys. What was I supposed to do?” Dean groused.

Benny and Gordon looked at him like he’d just denounced Led Zeppelin (his favorite band of all time). 

“Get her goddamn number, Winchester,” said Gordon. The man’s lips curved. “Or at least, introduce her to a brother.”

Dean shot him a glance. Gordon Walker was damn good at driving the truck, but he was also known for being a hunter of the ladies himself.   

“She seemed nice,” Jack put his two cents in with a smile. He was standing behind the couch, leaning his elbows on it. Gordon scoffed, nodding his agreement.

“Yeah, with a fat ass too,” he said, sipping his tea. 

Benny reached over and hit his shoulder to shut him up. 

“That’s a lady, Gordon,” he said. Though a suspect smile graced his lips as he glanced at Dean. “A lady with a nice ass.” 

Dean shook his head, but he couldn’t disagree. The first time he met you, he’d been impressed by the way you stood your ground with your asshole boss. Dean thought you were going to chuck that lethal looking heel at the guy. But behind that steely exterior was a kind little softie.

Today, he got your sweet side. It was equal parts sexy and adorable. 

And damn if you didn’t have a nice ass, nice curves, and a nice mouth. 

But your eyes, he thought. Those were nothing short of beautiful. 

About twenty minutes across town, an apartment building was swarmed by police cars. One unit in particular was sealed off with yellow caution tape as a team of officers drifted in and out. 

What a fucked way to die.

Detective John Winchester observed the unnatural angle that the victim—Jerry Stillwell, a certified public accountant—had his throat cut with a jagged weapon.

It hadn’t been clean in the least. And he’d bled out across his work desk and a stack of papers, as well as his desktop computer. He was 45, unmarried, and murdered in his own home in the middle of a Friday afternoon.

The computer wouldn’t turn on, and not because of the blood. It had been wiped with magnetized technology, most likely by the intruder. Though there was no sign of forced entry, according to John’s partner. The murder weapon was missing as well, though it looked like a knife wound.

John leaned over the on-site medical examiner’s shoulder to peer closer at the man’s wounds. Stillwell had most likely been grabbed from behind. So far, the signs pointed to the culprit being someone the victim knew.

They probably took Stillwell by surprise, but he was a large man. If John had to guess, over 250 pounds, unathletic, but still, not easy to overpower. Likely the suspect was a man over 6 feet; strong, and efficient. Though the messiness of the kill made John think this guy took "pride" his work, so to speak.

“Signs of struggle,” said the M.E. “Skin under the fingernails. He fought back, and…huh.”

John’s interest piqued at the man’s shift in tone. “What?”

“Take a look at this.” The M.E. was holding Stillwell’s right hand, palm-up, revealing a small burn on the inside of the wrist. John’s gaze sharpened on the mark.

“Cas, come here,” he said. Across the room, Detective Cas Novak paused in his task of examining the entry points of the apartment to join John at his side. His blue eyes widened a fraction at seeing the burn. It was a symbol of a snake eating its own tail.

“That makes four,” Cas said.

“Yep. We’ve got ourselves a murder cluster,” John said. Cas nodded. He beckoned John to the side, making sure the M.E. was out of earshot before he spoke. “Isn’t it time we brought Sam up to speed on this, at least?”

John’s brows furrowed.

“No,” he said. “Sam’s an ADA. We don’t go to him until we have someone to indict.”

He walked away from Cas, who frowned. John knew damn well that wasn’t what he meant. This was the fourth murder within six months of this nature. The fourth to be branded with the mark of Azazel…a criminal who supposedly disappeared decades ago.

Shortly after November 2, 1983, the day of Mary Winchester’s death.

Seeing Dean again had gone better than you thought it would. It left you feeling light and downright cheerful when you left the firehouse this morning. Unfortunately, the great start to your morning only crumbled when you reached your office.

Now, even at the end of your day, finally back at home and in the familiarity of your kitchen, the tension headache was back.

“Dre, I’m tired. Can’t we do this another night?” you asked.

Your cell phone was balanced between your ear and your shoulder as you counted out your grandfather’s pills, and placed them in each “Monday through Sunday” box in the blue container.

“No, we absolutely cannot. Because today was horrific,” Andréa said. “For me, because my coworker decided to play hookie on the day our top account needed the mockups of their new website. Never mind that she hadn’t even started.”

Pause for an aggravated breath, through which you frowned in sympathy. She’d told you the entire story over lunch today.

“And for you, because Nick once again displayed why he’s a subhuman neanderthal, in spectacular fashion,” she added.

Your grimace deepened at the reminder.

Earlier today, just before a sales meeting you were set to lead, you’d turned away from the conference table to set up the projector. Nick was early for once, making it just him and you in the room.

He’d sat back in his chair and uttered a remark that set the hairs on the back of your neck on end.

“I’ll tell you what, babe. You sure know how to wear a skirt.”

Your back straightened, and slowly you turned. Your face was set in stone, save for a solitary raise of your brow.

“Excuse me?”

Nick’s smirk was lazy as he kicked his feet up on the table. His hand held a tumbler of whiskey. You noted the half empty carafe, which just yesterday had been full and untouched.

“Fucking fantastic legs,” he said, vaguely outlining your shape with his hand. “I applaud you. It’s all very…sexy secretary. Oooh! Sexcretary. Fucking brilliant.”

You gaped, trying to put a clamp on the furious spike in your blood.

“Are you drunk?” you asked incredulously.

He raised his fingers an inch or so apart, scrunching up his face and trying not to laugh.

“Actually nah, not at all,” he bluffed. 

He let his hand fall back into his lap. You shook your head and set down your papers in order to cross your arms.

“Good. Then you’ll hear me clearly when I say, I’m filing a formal complaint with Billie in HR,” you said.

“Whaaat? Why?” he complained. You huffed incredulously.

“For your little comments, which are getting more and more heinous. Not to mention your excessive drinking during company hours.”

Nick pursed his lips. “Christ on a stick. Can’t you take a fucking compliment?”

“No,” you deadpanned. “What I refuse to take is any further sexual harassment. This isn’t the first incident I could disclose, but I’m damn sure you’ll want it to be the last.”

He kicked his feet off the table and slowly stood. You didn’t want to be afraid of this sloppy, frat boy drunken attitude, but a tendril of trepidation still laced down your spine as you took a step back.

“You could do that,” he nodded, tilting his head. “Or, I’ll give your Zimmerman account to Josh, along with your commission.”

You frowned, and shock made your entire body tense. 

“You…you can’t do that!” you exclaimed. Your insides fairly shook with frustration tinged with anger. “I’ll sue you.”

“With what money?” Nick scoffed.

Your brows knitted together then. How the hell would he know anything about your finances?

The man noted your reaction with a nod.

“Yeah, I know all about grammy and gramps. Surgeries, funerals, treatments…” he said. He leaned against the table with one hand, and still he fairly loomed over you.

He wasn't as broad as someone like Dean, but he was tall and lean. His dirty blonde hair was swept to the side, his blue eyes bearing down on you.

“I am this company. If you don’t like it, you can get the fuck out, sweetheart,” he said.

His gaze lowered, roaming your glowering face.

“And good luck getting anywhere else without a reference from one of the biggest corporations in Lawrence, Kansas.”

You sighed. Yeah, you might’ve shed some frankly embarrassing tears in the women’s bathroom after that. You hadn’t even told Andréa the full story, which included the details of his comments, along with his threats.

You didn’t want her to worry. And maybe, more selfishly, you were embarrassed at having to deal with it at all.

Truth be told, you still didn’t know what the hell you were going to do. About Nick, or your job…but somehow, getting drunk at a bar seemed about the last thing you should be doing.

“I need a drink,” Andréa insisted. “Which means you definitely need a drink. And I know exactly where we’re going.”

After a long moment, you leaned your elbows on the kitchen counter and rubbed through the persistent ache in your forehead. Maybe, just this once, you deserved to forget about reality. Just for a little while.

“Fine. Where?” you asked.

“It’s this great bar Meg told me about. The Roadhouse.”

“Ah, the usual suspects,” Ellen drawled at the men who managed to find seats at her bar, next to the rest of their party. The Roadhouse was packed on a Friday night, but she always had room for these two.

Benny and Dean wore similar tired, but pleasant smiles as they greeted their esteemed barkeep.

“What’s it been, Ellen, a whole shift since I’ve seen your delightful face?” Dean said.

Ellen gave him a mocking smile as she poured him his favorite beer on tap. Dean grinned and clapped his younger brother on the shoulder as he sat down. He and Cas had been waiting for a little while.

…Well, maybe longer than a little.

“Hey, dude,” Dean said. Sam perked up from his second beer with pursed lips.

“You know we’ve been waiting on you for like an hour, right?” he said.

“Aw, don’t get your panties in a twist, Sammy,” Dean teased. He nodded his thanks at Ellen when she set his beer in front of him, and a glass of whiskey for Benny. “We had a last-minute call. Some guy just couldn’t wait to start his Happy Hour. Drove his car into the company fountain.”

Sam’s brows raised incredulously. He looked over at Benny for confirmation, and the other man gave a resigned nod.

“Apparently it set the ducks into a tizzy,” he said. “The guy’s fine. Probably gonna get slapped with a DUI.”

Dean smirked and raised a finger at both Sam and Cas. “Duck Guy’s your problem now.”

Cas shook his head and raised his beer to his lips.

“Not my department.”

“Mine either,” Sam scoffed. Both of them worked in homicide cases, just from the differing sides of law and order. In fact, they worked together more often than Dean and Cas did.

Dean looked over at his friend Cas for a moment. He looked like more of a hot mess than usual, with his tie half undone, and a scruffy half-beard covering his face.

“Geez, man. You look like shit,” Dean remarked. “You and Meg fighting again?”

“No,” Cas replied, his brows furrowing. “…Well, yes. But nothing more than her usual insanity. Something about the cat preferring to sleep next to me than to her.”

“Well, that’s not so bad,” Benny said. “My dog don’t like her either.”

“Maybe they can smell that she’s feral,” Dean quipped. Cas sent him a dry look at that.

“She threatened to move out,” he revealed. “Even packed a bag at 3:00 in the morning. I spent two hours unpacking what she was re-packing, all while we argued in our underwear, not sleeping.”

Sam and Dean shared bemused looks, while Benny shook his head into his whiskey.

“So how’d it end up?” Sam asked. Cas sighed and took another long sip of his beer.

“Like it always ends, Sam,” he said, his lips quirking. “With our neighbors calling the precinct to complain, and me, somehow ending up sleeping on the couch for a crime I didn’t commit. If she wants to blame someone, blame the goddamn cat.”

Dean chortled. He brought his beer to his lips, but couldn’t resist a light jab at his best friend first.

“Dude, I love her like a sister, but your girlfriend’s unhinged,” he said.

Cas could only nod. “Most are, I’ve come to find.”

Sam scoffed and shook his head. “Not mine.”

“Yeah, that’s because Eileen doesn’t have to see you more than two minutes at a time,” Dean teased. He and his brother still shared an apartment, and Sam’s job as an Assistant District Attorney wrought demanding hours.

Sam shot his brother a flat look.

“Oh, I’m not taking that from the serial playboy,” he said.

Dean’s brows knitted together.

“All right, calm down,” he said. “I’m not Hugh Hefner.”

“Mr. Hit and Run,” Cas added, a smirk gracing his features.

“Chief ‘No Daddy Issues,’” Benny tipped in, giving his annoyed, green-eyed friend a sly glance. “With a side helping of the Clap.”

Dean’s lips pressed into a line. He leveled a finger at Benny.

“That girl was clean, okay? False alarm,” Dean said. His gaze raised heavenward as he sipped his beer. Thank Christ for that one. “The rash was just carpet burn.”

Sam shook his head and turned to his brother more seriously.

“Bottom line: until you date a woman for more than two weeks—hell, two days at a time—you don’t get to comment on the happily committed,” he said. 

Dean rolled his eyes. He knew his track record with relationships. As in, he didn’t really have a record…but it wasn’t for lack of trying. At least, not for the past few months.

Sam managed to break Dean out of his thoughts by clearing his throat, pushing his empty bottle across the counter.

“All right, speaking of. I gotta go,” he said.

“Aw, why? We just got here. Let me buy you another,” Dean offered.

Sam shot his brother another knowing look. Dean knew it well; it said, if he’d been here on time, they would’ve shared the first two drinks.

“I’m picking up Eileen,” Sam said, grabbing his blazer and fixing the collar when he put it on. “There’s this Latin club she wants to go to.”

Dean raised incredulous brows.

“My brother’s going salsa dancing?”

Sam sighed in exasperation, despite his smile. “Bye, Dean.”

He shot his other two friends a nod.

“See you guys.”

Cas and Benny both saw him off with a subtle raise of their drinks, while Dean just shook his head.

“All right, Samantha,” he called out. Sam didn’t bother to turn around as he raised up a choice finger behind him.

Dean snorted into his drink. “Very mature.”

Benny and Cas shared a wry look. They were relieved when Ellen’s daughter Jo came by, picking up the slack for her mom, who was serving a rowdy group of college kids at a nearby table.

“Hey, guys. Need another round?” Jo asked. She gave them all a familiar smile, but her eyes lingered on Dean. He gave her a more reserved smile back.

“Hey, Jo,” he nodded. “I uh…actually think I’m good right now.”

“Me too,” Cas said. He even stood up and grabbed his trenchcoat in similar fashion as Sam had. The two had paid for their beers before Benny and Dean even got there.

“Aw, not you too,” Dean groused.

“If I don’t make dinner, we run the risk of the apartment going up in flames,” Cas informed him. Dean couldn’t only assume he was talking about Meg. “Despite working with the Fire Department for ten years, the woman can’t manage to boil an egg without supervision.”

Jo raised a brow, but her smile was bemused as she turned to Benny. “Anything for you?”

“Nah, darlin’. I’m good,” he said. But sensing the unspoken request in her eyes when she glanced at Dean, Benny straightened and raised from his seat. “But I’ll be back. Need’a hit the head.”

Dean internally sighed as Benny left him alone at the bar. Or, well, relatively alone. Jo lingered in front of him to wash and dry out a few glasses. The air between them was stiff, and a little awkward.

Dean’s thoughts shifted back to his brother then; while he still couldn’t believe Eileen had wrangled his gangly Sasquatch of a brother into going dancing, Dean was happy for him. Truly and sincerely. Sam deserved having someone who softened him, made him break away from his endless cases and have some fun.

Dean could also admit, if only to himself, that he was maybe a little jealous. Sam had something good with his girl. Something real.

Dean had carpet burn.

“So, how’s studying going?” he asked Jo. He couldn’t stand awkward silences. “Still planning on giving your mom a heart attack when you get into the Police Academy?”

Jo’s blue eyes flicked up to his. She brushed a coil of blond hair behind her ear after she finished drying a glass, and a smile raised the corner of her lips.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I gave her something to yell about,” she quipped. “But since you asked…my exam is in three months.”

“Good,” Dean nodded. “You’ve got time. Study your ass off. Keep up the conditioning routine I gave you, and you’ll be set. Just don’t forget the strength training. Very important.”

“I got it,” she said, this time with a brighter smile. “Some old firefighter gave me some pointers.”

Dean tilted his beer at her accusingly.

“Hey, don’t pin that old shit on me yet. Benny’s got more mileage than I do…”

He considered her then, after briefly looking down at the counter.

“What?” she said.

He kept his lips tight. “Nothin’.”

“No, Dean. What?” Jo pressed. “You want to say something. Say it.”

He blew out a breath and shook his head.  

“Ellen’s not the only one who’s gonna worry about you on the job, that’s all,” he said. Jo flickered at a rueful frown.

“That’s ironic,” she said. “I can handle myself, Dean. Something you so often seem to forget.”

“That’s not fair, and you know it,” he shot back. His hand tightened around his beer.

Jo’s face fell into irritation, mostly to cover up the hurt he saw buried deep behind her eyes. She gave him some relief by glancing away from him.

“And this is why we didn’t work out,” she muttered. Sighing through her nose, her eyes met his again. “You know what I hate, more than anything? People worrying.”

Dean carded his fingers through his hair, his brows knitting together in aggravation.

“Yeah, well, maybe they have good reason to,” he said. He could’ve predicted the way she tightened up. “And if I remember right, you did your fair share of hand-wringing the next time I responded to a fire on the job.”

He knew it was a low blow. But his point was made, and he fully expected the anger in Jo’s tight frown. They’d dated for a few weeks, mostly in secret.

That had been enough for Ellen to blow her top. Not because she had anything against Dean…just his job: at the very same firehouse her late husband had once served.

So Dean had backed off. He’d ultimately felt he had to end it. And clearly, Jo still resented him for it.

Slowly, however, the fire in her eyes dimmed. Her finger tapped on her side of the bar counter.

“You think I don’t worry anymore just because we’re not together?” she asked him. 

Dean didn’t have a good answer for her. So his gaze fell to his nearly empty beer.

But he was even more relieved when Benny finally got back from the bathroom, or wherever he’d fucked off to for the past few minutes.

He did seem to know that he was interrupting a rather tense moment. Seeing as neither Dean nor Jo wanted to break the silence, Benny supposed it fell on him.

He reclaimed his seat and raised a smile up at Jo.

“I think I’m ready for the next round,” he said, glancing at Dean’s soured mood. “Two whiskeys, please, Joanna.”

Jo treated Benny with a half-smile. He was the only one besides her mother who called her Joanna (and got away with it). After one last look at Dean, she reached over for the Jim Beam.

You met Andréa at the bar in your own car, just in case you needed to dip out early to check on Grandpa George. He was happy to see you going out.

“You’re pretty as a doll, sweetheart,” he’d said, patting your cheek after you kissed his goodbye.

The thought made you smile, even though you thought you were dressed casually in your dark wash jeans and blouse. When Andréa met you outside the bar, she nodded in approval.

“Good. I like the hint of sexy,” she said, plucking at the sweetheart neckline of your top. You rolled your eyes and tried to cover up the cleavage a little, but she batted at your hand.

“No, no. Leave your professionalism at work,” she said. “Tonight, you’re going to relax and have some fun.”

It was hard to think about loosening up when you were literally getting belittled and threatened at work…but you supposed she had a point. You always had to be put together. You had to be sharp, because this world wouldn’t hand you anything on a silver platter.

And not to mention, you couldn’t just think about yourself. You also had to provide and take care of your grandfather too. He was the only family you had left, and you were it for him too…

But you took in a slow, deep breath. Tonight, you could have a couple of drinks with your friend. You could just be yourself, with no responsibilities other than not getting too drunk to drive yourself home later.

So with a sigh, you smiled and linked your arm with Andréa as you headed inside the Roadhouse.

It looked kind of divey from the outside, a worn-looking brown building with a faded red sign. But inside it was all dark wood and leather barstools and rows of soft lighting overhead.

There were records displayed on the wall; Prince’s Purple Rain, the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper, and David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust, among others. Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” played on the wall speakers.

There were several tables, both high top and regular four-seaters, as well as a long bar that spanned the far wall, where rows and rows of liquor were showcased. You followed Andréa’s lead to the bar, where you took a seat at the far end and tried to feel like you belonged here. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d gone out to a place like this.

“This is nice,” she leaned over into your ear to say. “Next time my cousin should meet us here. She’s a handful, but I think you’d like her.”

You agreed with a smile. “If she’s anything like you, I think I’m well trained to handle your brand of insanity.”

Andréa leveled you with a playfully mocking look.

“Ah, you’ve got jokes tonight. Okay.” She waved over the blonde bartender.

“Hi, ladies,” she greeted. “I’m Jo. What’re we starting off with tonight?”

Before you could order for yourself, Andréa grabbed your arm and spoke over you.

“Do you have absinthe?” she asked.

Your eyes widened. “What?! I’m not drinking that—”

“Sure do,” Jo replied in amusement.

“Great,” said Andréa. You didn’t like her sly grin. “She’ll have an Aunt Roberta. I’ll have a vodka cranberry.”

“What the hell is an Aunt Roberta?” you asked.

Jo listed the ingredients on her fingers. “A nice molotov of brandy, vodka, gin, blackberry liqueur, and of course, absinthe.”

Jesus Christ. You shot Andréa a glare, even though you were trying to dim your smile.

“Are you trying to chill me out or fucking end me?” you asked.

Andréa smirked. “Whatever it takes.”

You rolled your eyes, but you nodded your agreement. Jo’s smile remained as she went to prepare your drinks. Meanwhile, your eyes wandered as you once again took in your surroundings.

Really is a cool place, you thought. And it was busy without being overbearingly crowded. There were even a few seats between you and the rest of the patrons at the bar. Your gaze drew a path onwards, eventually reaching the other end of the bar.

There you caught sight of red flannel over a black undershirt, familiar broad shoulders, and an even more familiar face. Your eyes widened a fraction as his met yours, gleaming with recognition…and interest.

That slow smile of his was familiar too. It made a lance of heat run down your spine. You gripped the counter, mostly to steady yourself as you let out a breath.

Lieutenant Winchester.

AN: *rubs hands together* It begins. 😏

Lol how'd you like Dean's little moment with the reader at the firehouse? Plus the introduction of the rest of our cast!

(And a possible serial killer on the loose?) Though sorry about Nick. He's a douchecanoe.

Next Time:

Anticipation and nerves coiled together in your lower belly. You turned to your friend, who was already sipping at her vodka cranberry.

“Dre, help me,” you pleaded.

Andréa discreetly followed the path of your gaze, and her brows raised. A smirk curved her lips.

“Oh, babe. You need to help yourself,” she replied.

“I haven’t done that in a while,” you admitted. Your dating life had been sorely lacking, between the demands of your job and taking care of things at home. “I’m gonna say something demented.”

Andréa huffed in amusement.

“So? That’s half the fun,” she said.

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Series Tag List (Part 1):

@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @wincastifer @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @vanillawhiskeyflavoredkisses @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @spnexploration @deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @iprobablyshipit91

@melancholictearz @nic-kolas @katherineann814 @sleepyqueerenergy @wayward-lost-and-never-found @thewritersaddictions @just-levyy @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @deanwanddamons @antisocialcorrupt @lacilou @adoringanakin @theonlymaninthesky @teehxk @midnightmadwoman @brianochka @branj19

@agalliasi @venicesem @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @solariklees @xsophianicolex @deansbbyx @candy-coated-misery0731 @curlycarley @sarahgracej @bagpussjocken @ultrahviolentart @chernayawidow @beskarfilms @mimaria420

[wigglebox]

Hi! I always wanted to ask, even if its a silly thing, but I never saw an artist with your style and I think its really cute that your dean and cas have such bitable noses (they just look so fluffy). Where did it came the idea to make them like that?

hi!!!

lmao omg biteable noses i haven't heard that one awlefjawlkejaw i love it so much. why boop when you can boop with your teefs!

so i waited to answer this until i was back on my computer to basically say: idk!

but the longer answer is i was always interested in making the nose the focal point of the face. all my art style journeys always made sure i would put the nose for you to see it and always make it red lol.

i haven't drawn in a few years, about 3 years, until last fall and i wasn't happy with my style anymore. it felt too morose when i was just wanting to feel happy because the world around me is just meh and blegh every day, my job is stressful, and i wanted something to just keep me happy.

this was my art 3 years ago

and i liked this style -- but it was also limiting for me bc it just always made me feel less vibrant and just more quiet and a little sad

but over the last 7 years these were styles i would do for a drawing or two every so often while i was still trying to figure my style out until i arrived at ^ 

I think this one is the closest one i can get to now 

but there were other attempts:

i thought it was a limiting style though because they don’t have a fully drawn eye and the noses kind of reminded me of a newspaper comic strip i used to see growing up falled Funky Winkerbean. I don’t know why -- their noses definetly aren’t like this -- but whatever pfft. 

But I still found the lack of eyes limiting, and that these were too cutesy, but also i couldn’t figure out how to make it constantly work so i just abandoned it and went back to my normal stuff. 

like i said, i hadn’t drawn for a few years but last october, i was feeling frustrated not being able to find the proper motivation to do winchester-relod’s Suptober challenge so i doodled this dude [by now i didn’t have my tablet and so any time i sporadically drew since 2018 i just drew on my phone]

and then idk people thought he looked cute?

and then i drew this a few days later:

with these tags: idk I am feeling squishy and gooesy this Saturday and want a hug, Jennifer why are you drawing big noses, because I have no idea bht it’s fun

lol

and i guess it just kept going from there? people thought it looked cute, and i thought it was warm and happy and it made me happy to draw it. 

obviously looking at the art even from 9 months ago the style has changed as i figured out what i wanted to do with it [and invested in a little ipad to draw on instead of drawing with my finger on my phone lol]:

So Idk really! 

I think I am sticking with this for now [sometines doing a slightly ‘normalized nose’ from time to time] because 1) y’all encourage me with your very kind words 2) it makes ME feel good to draw them like this -- like idk i never am like UGH with a drawing 3) it’s just fun! 

really it’s one of those things where for the longest time i’ve been trying to take inspiration from so many styles around me because I just didn’t know how to define myself as an artist, and then i just wasn’t drawing as much anymore once i DID settle on style from a few years ago -- to now just wanting to smile any time i’m creating something so if it makes me smile, my goal is to make others smile lol. 

a driving factor for finding my style before was like ‘how do i make this edgy and emo if i wanted to?’ because at the time i was still experiences lows. 

and now, i still experience lows [spoons, mental health, yadda yadda] but instead of drawing the sadness out, i wanted to draw something that’d bring the smile back at least in my mind lol. 

and nothing makes me happier than smacking my hand into my ipad trying to honk their noses and then hearing messages from others [like yourself] who find the noses cute as well! 

[tearsfordean]

IDK if it was just me, but when I watched the Supernatural finale, I was beyond devastated that Dean died. I just felt like he deserved to live a normal life, growing old, maybe even retiring from hunting or being a mentor for a next generation of hunters. I don’t care if it was with Sam, or Cas, or alone. I just wanted him alive. To watch him learn to love himself, and to love to live his life however he wanted, like when he cooked, when he slept, and when he watched horror movies while eating fast food. And for weeks, months, a whole year, and even now, I feel so stupid for the grief the ending caused me to feel, because “Dean isn’t real, so [I] shouldn’t be sad about it”. But to me, since I was seven I watched that man sacrifice everything for those he loved because he felt he didn’t deserve to live, because he thought someone else deserved to live more than him. And then, he grew, he somewhat started to want things even though there were all these terrible things happening. Most of what I am, is because of him, and I love him so much. And then, WandaVision came out and I was just: “Wanda, I feel your devastation, that’s exactly what it feels like everyday when I think about what Dean should have gotten.” And then in Multiverse of Madness *SPOILERS* when Stephen said to Wanda: “all this for kids that aren’t even real,” I was like “YES! I so would do the same thing just for Dean to be happy and alive.” Anyway, Wanda really helped me to deal with that and made me feel heard. I know she did some crazy stuff and all that, but I truly empathised with her, idk lmao. I’m still not happy about the ending, and I miss Dean more than words can say, and I feel a bit delusional, really, for allowing a fictional event to get to me this way, but it does, and I don’t think I should feel ashamed of it. I’m just grateful that Marvel showed us how Wanda was feeling, I never thought I needed it, and I’ve just been bottling it all up inside me, and the pain truly does feel the way it it is portrayed when Wanda goes to that house where her and Vision were supposed to “grow old” together. It feels like this massive darkness inside me, the grief feels so consuming and drowning but it’s also “love persevering”. Like, on one hand it feels like the death of a star bursting inside me and it destroys everything around it, but it also feels like love: like the Big Bang that created the universe. I love that Vision said “what is grief, if not love persevering” because it changed the way I felt and the way I was dealing. With every burst of pain it really does feel like “hope, and… sadness… but mostly… love.” I also felt so much comfort when SPN fans started opening up that, they also felt grief because of the way Dean’s life ended, and that their therapists said it was normal and okay to feel that way. Seeing everyone’s hopes for what Dean should have gotten is something I appreciate so much, and if anyone is also ashamed for their grief, don’t be. I understand and I would just like to hear and see how everyone truly feels: angry, upset, etc. [y’all, I still feel embarrassed writing this like Dean is some real life person I lost 😭] anyway, I love y’all. — eris 🫧

TLDR: This is a rant about the ending of SPN, dealing with Dean’s death, and also an appreciation for Wanda (and Marvel) for portraying grief in a way that I related to. Feel free to say something as long as it’s not disrespectful, pls. 🤍

[miraclerizuin]

tl;dr i have an unhealthy relationship with a tv show

hello, void!  I stumbled out of a weird anxiety-depression fog at the end of last week and I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell was up and I am dismayed to report that it seems to have something to do with supernatural

a 1000-word contemplation of Why Am I Like This.  with pet pictures (I am bribing you to read about my feelings)

when I tell people that I quit watching spn in 2011 bc it wasn’t bringing me joy anymore I feel like there’s some pieces of that process that get glossed over.

here is what it felt like: I’ve got this friend I’ve been watching season 6 with, we laughed and screamed over frontierland and the french mistake, and am I letting her down if I drop the show now?  I wanna know if sam is gonna be ok and will dean and cas ever reconcile, so will I regret it if I stop following the story?  I’ve already abandoned covert affairs and heroes and ncis and fringe, what is wrong with me that I can’t seem to stick it out with tv shows?

(and there’s a part of me like “it’s just a show, nobody cares, it’s just a show”)

when I was eighteen and lonely and hadn’t made any friends yet in college I rebuilt my entire personality around supernatural (castiel) and invested myself so deeply that my mental health became closely linked to how things were going with supernatural (castiel) and I did all of that in the space of six months and then

I realized that I just wanted it to be a different show.  not all the time!  there is still the meaning of family and the nature of destiny and fighting to have a choice even when all the choices seem bad, and making friends and making jokes and carving a strange but special sort of life out of a difficult world.  but never letting anything new take root in the status quo of Sad Man Time, so often insisting on a cold and uncaring view of the universe, so much white cis heteronormativity at a time in my life when I was opening my eyes to all the things that were not that.  and I was talking about it to anyone who would listen and what I got back was “why do you watch it if it makes you so angry”

(it’s just a show!!!  just stop watching it if you’re not having fun!)

I didn’t like the toxicity I often saw from the fandom, but I also got to know some cool people.  (a couple cool people?  maybe just one person?  jeez.) and the absolute wealth of fanfic that inspired me to think about the story and characters in new ways and to write about them myself.  there is not another thing in this world that I have written more words about, for better or for worse.  there are kind people and cool people and thoughtful people using this weird-ass show to make beautiful art.  after I quit watching, I slowly drifted away from all of it.  the fun stuff and the bullshit.

(why would anyone even have noticed that you left?  you were just lurking the whole time ffs)

so now it’s several years later, several years of me inwardly flinching anytime anyone mentioned spn in my hearing, and I decided to watch the final season.  I had this ridiculous notion that it would give me closure, and maybe if they hadn’t even aired that goddamn finale I could have had peace when I was done idk. but after all this time I was still in love with the “secret good supernatural that lives in my head” and I started trying to put it down on paper and that is how I wound up picking up the show again, roughly from where I left off.

I had learned that I didn’t have to watch every episode, no matter what my perfectionism says.  but even trying to limit myself to episodes that I hoped would “spark joy,” it quickly turned into a chore.  I wanted to know what happened, I wanted to see the parts I wanted to see without slogging through the things that bored me, the endless string of deaths of supporting characters, especially women, the frequent absence of my favorite character even after he started being credited as a series regular.

(lmao if you’re just watching for destiel you’re setting yourself up for disappointment)

and I talk about it to anyone who will listen.  my family is definitely tired of it by now (again) and I gotta give a shout-out to my friend who has never seen a single episode of spn and yet has read all my fics and listens to my rants.  a hero, an icon, an inspiration, etc, they are probably reading this and they know who they are.  it would be cool to have other fans to talk to more, but I always struggle to reach out…

I’m still loving writing about it.  and there are still parts I want to watch, but I think I’m gonna have to dial it way back.  I was treating it as research for my fics and that turned it into work.  it shouldn’t be work.  I already have a full-time job which I am being paid actual money for, and making myself miserable, like, actually miserable, in pursuit of a hobby is not part of it.

(just dump him already???)

supernatural is not, in fact, actively trying to ruin my life. it is a show that ended over a year ago that has other fans who like other things about it, probably.  my relationship to it is something I have the power to control, insofar as I have control over anything in my life.

I would be a profoundly different person if I hadn’t, as a supposedly-straight college freshman, seen a certain former tumblr user who is now a NYT bestselling author posting about these 2 sad dudes and their unintended love story and been like “hmm, that’s interesting, hope it doesn’t awaken anything in me!”

(it’s just a show it’s just a show it’s just a show)

got any spn episodes from seasons 10-14 that bring joy to your heart?  in a bad place with a show/book/movie and need to vent?   wanna hear more about my own personal secret good supernatural?  my askbox is always open & I am downtownfishies on twitter and ao3 and my current project tag here on tumblr is #keep your heart young

[sortasirius]

Reception

AN: thanks Chad you inspired me my brother. It’s a fix it, shocker lmao

The ceremony itself is quiet, peaceful, intimate, with only the most important people in attendance. Standing in front of a clear blue lake near the Roadhouse, Dean and Cas get married in the most perfectly unconventional venue, Heaven itself.

They wear suits at Ellen’s insistence, their ties matching each other’s eyes, and Jo and Charlie try to make Dean wear a flower crown; they get delayed by twenty minutes while they try and clip it into his hair.

Dean can’t help but lose his breath when he sees Cas already waiting for him at the start of the aisle, grinning from ear to ear and holding out his hand for Dean to take. He looks so...perfect, so exactly what Dean’s always wanted, and he’s his.

Bobby is the one that marries them, with the friends and family that they had lost surrounding them, people that Dean had always thought were far too good for him, but he might be coming around to the idea that he might deserve them, at least a little bit. He tries to hide the way he gets choked up when he reads his vows to Cas, and doesn’t even pretend to stop crying when Cas reads his to Dean.

Words would never be enough to describe how he felt when he looked at Cas, or the way he felt when Cas looked at him, but there was something about this moment, a moment surrounded by the people they loved, that made the words mean more than they would on any other day.

Pamela produces two handmade rings to exchange, and the rough metal feels at home on his skin, the same as Cas’ own, in a way.

The sun shines on their faces as they kiss, and Dean feels, for the first time, like this could really be what Heaven is supposed to be.

The reception is, predictably, loud and raucous, with karaoke and pool and too much alcohol (not that any of them get hangovers, but they can still get plastered). Ash stands on top of the pool table and recites the Gettysburg Address word for word while he balances a bottle of beer on his head. Ellen teaches Benny to mix drinks behind the bar, and Jo and Charlie destroy Kevin and Jack at a game of poker. Bobby and Pamela are reminiscing about some hunt or another with Rufus...it’s all so serene, in spite of the chaos, just exactly what Dean had always dreamed of.

He does ache, a little, for Sam, even knowing that he and Eileen are living their lives on earth, making a difference that only Sam could, he still misses him. But hey, that’s what how renewals are for right? He knew Ash would never miss a chance to have a party anyway.

Dean and Cas end up slow dancing to Led Zeppelin in the corner, away from the loud laughing and chattering of their family. Dean can’t quite believe this is all real, this is all happening, and this is all his. He huffs a happy sigh, letting his forehead rest in the crook of Cas’s shoulder, feeling the heat of his skin though the starched fabric of his dress shirt.

“What are you thinking about?” Cas whispers, tracing the back of Dean’s neck with a long finger.

Dean struggles, for a minute, to find the words. How does he express this? All these things that are bubbling inside him, the good and the bad, the happy and the sad?

“I never thought I’d get this,” he whispers back, lifting his head to meet Cas’ eyes, “And to have it this way, with everyone, I just-”

He falters a little, but Cas doesn’t rush him, he never did.

“I still feel like I can’t take it, like it’s something that I want but can’t actually have. I look at all this, at you, and it’s what I’ve wanted for years, but I keep feeling like I’m going to wake up in Hell with Alastair standing over me or something.”

He shudders reflexively at the memory. He suddenly can’t meet Cas’ eyes.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t be bringing the happiest day of our lives down.”

Cas lifts his chin, making their eyes meet.

“I’m with you through everything. Anything and everything, you know that right?”

Dean’s mouth twists in a smile as warmth blooms through his chest. He pulls Cas towards him, kissing him gently in the dark corner of the Roadhouse, letting his hands curl in Cas’ dark hair. They’re both a little breathless when they pull apart, and Cas’ bright eyes mirror his own.

“Right back at ya,” Dean smiles, glancing over at Benny and Charlie shotgunning beers with Ash, “You wanna go join them?”

“Yes,” Cas leans in to kiss him again, “But only if we get to do more of this later.”

Dean winds his arms around Cas’ waist, breathing into him, letting the impossibility that he and Cas were linked by bands of metal around their fingers forever, not needing to worry about death or Hell or Purgatory or the Empty.

“Oh hell yeah, more of this later please.”

Cas laughs as Dean presses his lips to the exposed skin on his neck, and Dean falls very much in love with the sound.

Dean and Cas sit at the bar for the rest of the night, listening to stories they had heard a hundred times and would hear a million more, surrounded by family, and holding hands under the shiny bar, their rings clinking together every so often, reminding them both of the weight of this day, the importance of the other, the beauty of the future.

[airenyah]

what are the gayest destiel episodes you can think of?

ohhhhh i gotchu hold on (this is basically gonna end up being a list of my fave destiel episodes lmaooo)

ok so just a heads-up, i don’t really remember much from s10 onwards (a lot of those episodes i haven’t actually watched since they aired whoops) and i’m currently stuck at the beginning of s9 on my complete rewatch soooo this list focuses only on the first half of the show. i might do an update if i ever manage to finish my rewatch (and remember to post an update at all when the time comes)

ok here we go:

4x16 - On the Head of a Pin

dean calls cas “cas” to his face for the very first time

dean is all “you can't ask me to do this, cas. not this.” (about torturing alastair) and uriel is all “who said anything about asking”, but cas is all: “this is too much to ask, i know. but we have to ask it” and that is the moment that dean realizes that cas cares about him and his feelings/well-being and that’s when he demands to speak to cas alone 

and it’s only after cas tells dean he really doesn’t want dean being forced to do the torturing that Dean gives in (”i would give anything not to have you do this”)

like, it’s so obvious already how much cas cares about dean already and we’re only in s4

 cas is even starting to go down the path of disobedience (with a little help from anna admittedly, but still. he’s starting to consider it)

they’re so?? comfortable?? with each other. when cas visits dean at the hospital in the end

4x22 - Lucifer Rising

dean literally makes an angel fall in this ep, i mean come on... (the way cas shows up behind him all “you asked to see me” after dean smashes the angel statue cracks me up every single time gsdlka)

dean desperately trying to get cas to help him (bc he knows that IF there’s an angel that would help him it’s cas)

cas is too afraid though and dean gets pissed and literally breaks up with him (D: "you spineless, soulless son of a bitch. what do you care about dying? you're already dead. we're done." C: "dean-" D: "we're done!")

this is the episode in which cas makes his decision and chooses dean over heaven

5x03 - Free to Be You and Me

in the previous episode sam and dean had a fight and split up. this episode starts out with dean being pissed and annoyed and just in a bad mood in general

when cas shows up and asks for help dean is very grumpy and doesn’t want to help at first but then reluctantly agrees

throughout the episode, the more time dean spends with cas the better his mood gets (honestly this point is worthy of its own separate post, i have enough screenshots lmao)

like he’s even smiling at the end of the ep when he’s talking to cas in the car!! (except then he looks over and realizes cas has left mid-conversation again and that smile is wiped right off his face and i’m sad :( )

when they’re in that brothel dean mostly has eyes for cas, even when chastity the hooker is standing right next to him

after the brothel incident when dean is cracking up and goes “it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. it's been more than a long time. years.” like... buddy. your crush is showing.

and the way cas smiles lovingly at dean laughing next to him

dean be like: “personal space”     also dean: *reaches into cas’s coat without hesitation* *fixes cas’s shirt and tie without hesitation*

also the funniest thing about the whole “personal space” moment in the motel is that there was more than enough space for dean to step aside and increase the distance between him and cas if he had really been all that uncomfortable but he just. doesn’t. no he just stays right where he is 

when raphael is trapped in the holy oil and threatens cas all “castiel, I'm warning you. do not leave me here. i will find you.” and cas goes “maybe one day. but today, you're my little bitch.” and walks away and dean tells raphael “what he said” like the impressed and proud boyfriend that he is

inside jokes (see here)

some more iconic quotes/moments from this episode:

“cas, we’ve talked about this. personal space”

“so, what, i'm thelma and you're louise and we're just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“well. last night on earth. what are your plans?” “i just thought i'd sit here quietly.”

“let me tell you something. there are two things i know for certain. one, bert and ernie are gay. two, you are not gonna die a virgin. not on my watch.”

5x14 - My Bloody Valentine

hunter husbands!!

the way that dean is not in the mood for hook-ups on valentine’s day and then goes to stare at cas like That

that iconic phone call at the hospital where cas just appears in front of dean who nearly runs into him

cas be looking at sam while listing all the things people can be starving for, and then looks at dean before saying “love” 

ok i know this doesn’t have that many points but really this entire ep is great, i very much enjoy all the interactions between cas and dean in this ep

like when dean is not hungry and cas is all “you're not gonna finish that?” and grabs the plate without waiting for an answer bc they’re this married in s5 already

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King

i mean... this one is obvious isn’t it

this ep is literally all about how cas is doing everything for the winchesters aka dean

the way sam and bobby cautiously voice their suspicions of cas to dean has the same energy as carefully breaking it to a family member that you think their partner is cheating on them 

and when they trap cas in the holy oil and confront him dean also acts like a betrayed wife(gn)

which is such a stark contrast to how sam and bobby react to the betrayal (they’re mostly just like “eh this sucks” while dean is emotionally affected)

and even in the following episodes dean is way more affected by cas’s betrayal than sam and bobby are and dean is the one who argues the most with cas (honestly, this entire arc is literally that post that’s all “how do i know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

ok but the holy oil scene is truly like a soap opera (i mean... “where were you when i needed to hear it?” “i was there. where were you?” and dean looking back at cas one last time before running away)

this is their first big break-up and it takes them until the s7 finale to make up

special shoutout to cas watching dean rake leaves

this ep is a LOT

7x17 - The Born-Again Identity

dean’s FACE when he sEES CAS. and then DEAN’S FACE AGAIN when “emmanuel” is all “what’s your issue?”

dean’s face all throughout that first scene with “emmanuel” and daphne, I’M

“you know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. you know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... i always could. what cas did... i just can't – i don't know why” BECAUSE YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM, IDIOT

the way dean interrupts all irritated when meg goes “i think we're gonna be good friends too” at “emmanuel” (jealous bf much gsdlksafd)

the way dean kept the trenchcoat just in case so he can give it back to cas should he return (which ofc he did)!!!!

7x21 - Reading is Fundamental

yet another one of those “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”

at the beginning of the ep at some point sam’s phone rings and when he says that meg (who is watching over cas at the mental hospital) is calling, dean is quick to stand up and even tho meg called sam, dean is the one who ends up having the phone call with her lmao

also dean has no chill during that phone call lmao (he’s irritated when he finds out meg didn’t call them right then and there as soon as cas woke up and he’s immediately concerned when meg says cas is different, while sam’s just standing there holding his phone out to dean, being all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao)

dean: *pissed af at cas*    also dean: *almost breaks his own neck at the speed with which he whips his head around at the mention of cas’s name and is desperate to know his location when cas calls meg after dean blasted him away with some other angels at the hospital*

ok no but then meg tells cas their location and cas zaps into the car and it’s hilarious how quick dean is to interrupt whenever cas turns his attention to meg in that scene

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin

dean seeing cas everywhere

when you see your best dudebro outside the window in the middle of a storm but when you get up he’s gone and you feel like crap because you could’ve made it out of the war zone together and you just cannot fathom why he didn’t try harder and you just don’t understand why you’re feeling what you’re feeling (and judging by dean’s reaction to sam’s suggestion, clearly it’s not survivor’s guilt)

dean’s FACE when cas suddenly appears behind him in the bathroom

jacting joices: the infamous boner scene (yet another example of “how do I know dean is in love with cas? bc sam isn’t”)

jacting joices pt 2: sam and dean are talking case and then cas walks over to join the conversation and there is literally no reason for dean to check cas out (see here)

during the rescue mission when cas zaps into the room and has a stand-off with crowley and then when dean finally manages to break into the room, can i just say... the way dean immediately rushes to cas (who’s ended up on the floor) and grabs him by the shoulder before he bothers to look around the room

D: “that was a bonehead move back there. you could have gotten yourself killed. why didn't you wait for me?” C: “well, i didn't get killed. and it worked” D: “and if it didn't?” C: “it would have been my problem.” D: “well, that's not the way i see it.”

the purgatory flashbacks when dean keeps insisting that cas is coming along with them back to earth and won’t hear otherwise

“i did everything I could to get you out – everything! i did not leave you.”  “so you think this was your fault?”

“look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? for failing you like i've failed every other godforsaken thing that i care about! i don't need it!”

i know we hate buckleming but this episode, man. this episode

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici

i was gonna put this as a special shoutout but then it turned out that i had more to say about this ep than i initially thought

it’s the way dean and cas keep gravitating towards each other in the first half of the episode. no seriously, they somehow keep ending up beside each other and you start wondering “what’s personal space” (friendly reminder that this is the ep right after they’re finally back together again after purgatory)

the married energy and the bickering

the “talk to me” scene where cas finally opens up to dean (but then interrupting moose strikes)

at the retirement home dean to sam and cas: “no flirting you two” then CUT to: dean and cas sitting at a table with an elderly lady who is staring at cas with heart eyes and... lady: “you are so pretty, charles” dean: *must look at young nurse’s butt immediately to distract myself from gay thoughts*

i’m sorry but the way he smiles so widely at cas at one point when they’re talking to that lady, like, she’s just called cas a bounder and dean’s amused about that but his amusement is not in any way malicious and his face is just so full of love when he looks at Cas, it’s embarrassing really (see here)

9x06 - Heaven Can't Wait

ok so i haven’t watched this ep in like 5 years so my memories on this aren’t as fresh as with the previous eps but! it’s the way that cas and dean act exactly like exes (who are still in love with each other) in this ep

dean’s face as he’s staring at cas through the shop window

dean’s smile when he shows up inside the shop

the entire “i can’t let you do this cas” scene in the car

the infamous fanfiction gap

special shout out to:

5x18 - Point of No Return for all the bickering (“you know what? blow me, cas”) and especially  “well, cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that… i got laid.”

6x10 - Caged Heat for the pizza man and dean’s reaction to all the megstiel (like jealous bf much?)

6x19 - Mommy Dearest for the strong married energy dean and cas give off in this ep (honestly, all their bickering, it’s glorious) (friendly reminder that this is right before tmwwbk) 

7x23 - Survival of the Fittest for the “i’d rather have you cursed or not” scene

8x02 - What's Up, Tiger Mommy? for the purgatory flashbaks with that one monster calling cas dean’s angel and the reunion scene by the river with highlights such as “nice peach fuzz” and “i prayed to you cas, every night” and “i have a price on my head, and i've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you” and “cas, we're getting out of here. we're going home” and “cas, buddy, i need you” and “let me bottom-line it for you. i'm not leaving here without you. understand?”

8x17 - Goodybe Stranger for “i don't know, dean. if he's so sketchy, then why were you praying to him?” and the entire crypt scene (yes this is a big one and yes i’m still only putting it as a special shoutout and yes it’s bc of the megstiel content this ep ok bye <3)

[derekmorganscrocs]

My Thoughts While Watching 2x4 Nancy Drew! MILD SPOLIER ALERT!!

I got a little carried away, so this is kinda long, but funny. Just a heads up lol.

I love Ace’s shirt in the beginning scene he looks adorable.

Ace already wrote his obituary?! VINTAGE AUTOMOBILE ENTHUSIAST?! I LOVE HIM.

AW ACE BROUGHT MR D COFFEE? HES CHECKING IN ON HIM IM CRYING.

“Classified.” 😐

STOP WHY IS RYAN SO SALTY ABOUT ACE NOT BUYING HIM A COFFEE

OMG THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING. Ace as a mediator I love. Nancy’s a chicken now?

RYAN IS SO SALTY “you would say that, wouldn’t you.”

THE COFFEE AGAIN. ACE GIVING HIM HIS COFFEE STOP.

CA-RY-ACE THE NEW LOVE TRIANGLE.

Bess and Lisbeth are so sweet

I relate to george yeeting her sister into the business. Not the death part but still-

“Stop yelling at me” sir she is not yelling.

PERIODT NANCY GO OFF QUEEN. And they got applause.

Me waiting for the aglacea to just pardon their betrayal because nancy is standing for her: 👁👄👁

PLS NANCY X AGLACEA FRIENDSHIP

dude these commercials are so annoying-

OHH ACE I see you’re an ~art boy~ He’s subtweeting them irl- OH THEY KNOW

Ryan only caring about nancy??? Saltily???

Carson now you’re just being an ass.

OH KAY SUGAR DADDY RYANNNN

Nancy and Bess moment that’s so sweet.

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN- sorry the winchesters just possessed my body for a sec. they rly just saw her necklace AND DIDNT SALT AND BURN, COME ON

ok that was really funny lmao Nancy scaring Bess sent me.

FREAKY BASEMENT

AH NOT THE SLAMMING DOOR RUN BITCHES RUN

NANCYS FACE

Michael Bublés buble commercial always sends me

So Marvin is a murderer. ANOTHER GHOST?

Nancy’s fan club lmao

Nancy and Bess being the sleuth sisters I love

Awe George and Jessie :(

GHOST GOGGLES??? SMART NICK STOP I LOVE NICK. NICK NICK NICK SMILE AW HES SO SAD SHHSKALA I CANT HANDLE THIS

RYAN IS SO SALTY I LOVE HIM

Carson stop being so aggressive

RYAN COMING THRU WITH THE ROASTS

Why is she going alone. Never go in basements alone.

This green is serving me major buzzfeed unsolved.

Torture chamber basement??? Marvin is a murderer, guaranteed. The basement is freaky and not in the good way.

IS RYAN ABOUT TO CRY RIGHT NOW? NO HES SO SWEET “wh-What would I say to her?” I CANT. (I definitely forgot he was lowkey a predator when I was writing this) Fatherly Ryan. Why does this scene look like really dream-like? MUSICIAN RYAN? “I’m right? I just solved something before nancy Drew!” HE LOOKS SO PROUD OF HIMSELF. The way he knows something is off bc she’s being decent.

THE CHURCH IS TERRIFYING I DO NOT LIKE THE SONG ITS FREAKIN ME OUT

SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN SALT AND BURN

I really want the aglacea to forgive them, I rly just-

Periodt Agnes is a badass bitch. I love her.

Sister thinks the kfc burger looks like a yellow brain.

WHY?? ARE PERFUME COMMERCIALS??? SO DRAMATIC???

Yo why does Cheerios have a lil uzi song?

THATS SUCH A PRETTY DINNER TABLE!! BESS PLS SHOW UP BESS PLS.

GEORGE DON’T CRY. Stop George finally breaking. Her face when nick said it- NICK IS SO SWEET. “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOURE LOVED” YES SIR I DO PLS TELL ME U LOVE ME. OK I ACC SHIP GEORGE AND NICK NOW. NO POOR NICK. AND HES NOT LOOKING TO HEAR IT BACK. they’re sweet. Aw the way her voice gets all soft “that’s not helping” and you can just hear her smile-

It’s like midnight, why is ted at school-

SISTER MOMENT I LOVE. WHY IS GEORGE LITERALLY RAISING HER SISTERS, DEAN WINCHESTER TYPE BEAT- OW NOT JESSIE RUINING THE MOMENT WITH AN OCTOPUS AND SEEING THRU GEORGES LIE.

DID ACE WRITE A LETTER TO HIS DAD??

BESS CHICKENED OUT? IM HEARTBROKEN SHES SO SWEET.

NO NOT ACE LEAVING HIS DAD A LETTER BITCH I WILL CRY. I AM AN HOE FOR ACE AND ALSO I THINK HE IS BABY AND I AM SO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED IM NOT OK.

IF ACES DAD HAS TO GO THRU THE PAIN OF LOSING ACE I WILL SUE I LOVE ACE’s DAD.

WAIT- There’s aluminum in deodorant? (Commercial)

This is gonna go so badly. Something will go badly. SOMETHING IS WRONG. STOP ITS SO UGLY- ODETTE STOP SCREAMING SHES TRYNA HELP.

WTF

DID THEY JUST KILL A GHOST?

“Good thing this wasn’t a rental.”

Oh they only hurt her.

Some advice: don’t watch during the day bc the lighting is so dark and it’s really hard to see lmao

My sister’s thoughts:

“This is why you salt and burn things.”

“WHY WOULD SHE GO INN THE BASEMENT ALONE”

“I BET MARVIN IS A MUDERER”

“OH SHIT. She’s still crunchy.”

[sammypompeius]

As I said in this post I just watched the first 3 eps of season 15 and I wanna talk about them ^^ (under the cut)

I REALLY liked Belphegor so I drew them to accompany this. Also this just showed how good of an actor Alex is like HE HAS THE RANGE KSHAJAJW.

I felt so much for Cas in this eps 😭 he just lost Jack and has to deal with this demon walking around in his body. There's not as much focus on Sam and Dean's feelings regarding this, all I can remember is Dean getting uncomfortable with Belfagor flirting with him in his son's body (that's what that scene was right??) but then he did say they needed to get him out of Jack's body. I do think they felt the same as Cas (maybe not as fiercely) but since Belphegor was being helpful and they needed all the help they could get they just went with "it's not Jack, he's dead, it's just his body".

I knew Rowena was going to die and I know she's gonna be the queen of hell but I got so sad about her death anyway... recap reminded that sam would be the one to kill her so we know it's coming, and every time they focus on them both my heart clenched. And then her death scene came and I was sad and I thought it was beautiful and she as a character was being so amazing. Her friendship with Sam came to this moment that, even though Sam tried to deny it, they knew would happen and I really loved it (but I kinda wish the last shot of her death was her jumping and not her falling into hell bc those effects looked weird ngl).

And then the DESTIEL DIVORCE 😭 I kid you not when Dean said "why does that something always seem to be you? " my mom went " *LE GASPPPP* I CANT BELIEVE THE AUDACITY- ". So like yessss I already knew this was going to happen but with the knowledge of exactly what was happening I:

 1: am really frustrated with dean because the amazing gay angel doesn't deserve to hear that

 2: am glad Cas left (he wasn't being treated right) I feel they weren't resolving anything being so physically close, like they are always close because they want to make sure the other is okay/they simply feel drawn to each other, and they need some time away to cool off and think about it (especially Dean)

3: understand Dean and relate to him (what's probably a reason I'm frustrated with him, I normaly have a love/hate relationship with characters I relate to bc "YOU UNDERSTAND ME AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND MYSELF" but also "THOSE ARE THE FLAWS THAT MAKE ME HATE MYSELF WHY DO I ENJOY YOUR CHARACTER YOU LITTLE SHIT???"). Like I too tend to lash out on the people I love most when I'm sad and frustrated and angry, even more when I actually blame myself, that and "I cannot do anything right I MUST apologize for my every breath and distance myself from everyone I love because I can ONLY be bothering these amazing people or will in the future so I gotta go away while they don't hate me yet" are my "coping mechanisms" so y'all can see why destiel feels make me crawl up my walls.

What I mean is THE DIVORCE IS HITTING ME HARD HELP. Like Dean has been letting out all of the anger his recent losses and failures brought up on Cas because he's already on a roll of blaming him for everything he can (because of Mary's death). Then Rowena dies (and it messes up Sam) so Dean doesn't even try to listen to Cas on his reasoning and why he couldn't follow the plan, he immediately blames him like he's been doing with everything else "I've tried to talk to you over and over but you just don't wanna hear it, you don't care" because he feels like he has to blame someone, because he feels so much and he feels so fiercely, especially towards Cas. I understand that but it doesn't excuse it (lmao sorry if I'm projecting too hard), Cas doesn't deserve to hear that, from the MAN HE LOVES no less, doesn't deserve to be blamed for so much when he always has the default setting of blaming himself. And Cas as always just takes it. That's why even though I'm glad Cas left I feel really sad about it because Cas was probably not thinking of all these things when he decided to go, it seemed to be because he felt unwanted or useless there (to the brothers (to Dean)). He just felt he was not needed, much less wanted there. He wasn't thinking "I deserve better than this shit" he didn't go for his own well being, he went because he thought it was for Dean's, AND THAT BREAKS MY STONE COLD HEART.

Dean is suffering because he feels nothing he has is real, while Cas suffers because he believes "we are" but he doesn't have that "we" anymore. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[dickspeightjrs]

Prompt if you're still up for it: a happy end to The End episode

ao3 link 

They’d done it. 

Dean still wasn’t sure how they’d managed to pull it off. But, a team made up of both versions of himself, Chuck and Castiel had done it. 

They’d finally tracked down Lucifer. It had pained Dean to see that bastard using his little brother’s body. But even in his true vessel, Lucifer had been becoming weak. Sam must have been fighting the possession hard from the moment he’d said yes. Beating down the walls inside just to try and make a crack. 

With Dean and the team pushing from the outside, and Sam pushing from the inside, Lucifer finally cracked. Sam bleed through that crack and begged his brother to use this moment of weakness to kill Lucifer, and get rid of him for good. 

2014!Dean had little time to argue no matter how much it pained him to have to kill his brother. In the small window of weakness, he plunged an angel blade right into Sam’s heart. 

Dean could only watch with despair as he watched his brother be taken, knowing there was nothing he could do about it - there was no way to get him back this time. 

What was the point in anything now? If this is how it would all end up, Dean didn’t want it. He’d fight even harder to stop his Sam from saying yes to Lucifer. He couldn’t lose his brother again. 

Both Deans knelt by Sam’s unmoving body, sadness and pain coursing through them.

Behind 2014!Dean, Castiel appeared and placed a hand on the hunter’s shoulder. 2014!Dean lifted his hand, never taking his eyes off his brother’s face, to place it on Cas’. Dean felt like he was intruding on a moment so he took one last look at his brother and rose to his feet. 

Chuck came over, giving him a sympathetic look. He took Dean’s place next to Sam’s body and placed a hand on his still chest. 

A deep gulp of air sounded across the wooded area. 

Everyone looked with amazement as Sam opened his eyes. 

“Did we get him?” He coughed. 

The team remained speechless. 2014!Dean fell backwards into Castiel’s legs. 

“Welcome back, Sam” Cas spoke after a few moments, giving the man a small smile. 

Both Deans remained locked in stunned and disbelieving silence. Sam sat up and looked down at the fried blood on his shirt. “What happened? Shouldn’t I be dead?” He looked up at both versions of his brother, who looked just as confused as him. 

“God must be looking out for you, Sam.” Chuck offered. 

Sam let out a relieved laugh, which finally broke his brother kneeling beside him out of his trance. 2014!Dean threw his arms around his brother. 

*  *  *

Later that evening, they’d all returned to base and were having a party to celebrate Sam’s return, and the end of the end of the world. 

But Dean didn’t know why he was still there. At first, he thought he’d been sent to learn a lesson, to see the inevitability of the apocalypse. But Sam was back and looking pretty much as healthy as ever. 

Maybe he was just stuck for good. It wouldn’t be too bad he supposed. It’d be weird getting used to having a clone though. 

Speaking of the later version of himself, he was currently sat by the fire, locked in what looked like an intense, intimate conversation with Cas. After a few more seconds, both men stood up silently and walked away from the main group, towards one of the cabins. 

Just at the last second, before they disappeared out of sight, Dean saw his alternate self slip his hand into Cas’. 

Damn. 

Dean wasn’t a blushing virgin. He knew exactly what was going on in that cabin. Future him and Cas end up hooking up. Dean found that the idea wasn’t completely unwelcome. 

Suddenly, he missed his Castiel. The angel had a stick in his ass most of the time but he’d done so much for the Winchester, rebelled against his own family. He was their family now. 

Great. Dean realised he liked Castiel just as he got trapped in the future with a Castiel that is cool but not his Cas - and who was clearly already taken anyway. 

Not feeling the party mood anymore, Dean downed the last of his beer and went to find an empty cabin. He’d get some sleep and start trying to figure out how to get home in the morning. 

He went in the opposite direction from where Cas and the other Dean has gone - he certainly didn’t want to be hearing what was going on in that cabin right now. 

Soon enough, he was lying on an old camp bed and willing his brain to stop thinking for one second so he could be taken by sleep.

He closed his eyes and hoped. 

*  *  *

“Dean.”

“Dean.”

“Dean, I know you’re alive. You need to wake up.”

Dean’s eyes fluttered open. 

Bent over him was Castiel. But he was wearing his stupid tax accoutant trenchcoat again. Dean looked around the room. He wasn’t in the cabin anymore. Instead, the questionable decor of a random highway motel surrounded him. He pulled himself up to sit against the headboard, head swimming with thoughts. 

Sensing Dean’s confusion, Castiel sat hesitantly on the side of Dean’s bed. “Sam couldn’t wake you this morning, so he called for me.” He explained. 

“You never come when Sam calls.” Dean countered. 

Castiel shrugged softly, “I will always come for you, Dean.”

Trying to avoid blushing at the double meaning to Castiel’s innocent words, Dean asked, “Cas, what year is it?”

The angel titled his head. “2009 of course, Dean. Are you feeling alright?”

Dean watched a look of concern flit across Castiel’s normally stoic face. Obviously, the angel knew nothing of where Dean had been, nothing of what he had seen. 

Images of their future selves walking hand in hand flashed through Dean’s mind. He looked at his angel sat on the motel bed - here only because he was concerned for Dean.

Dean was still determined not to let Sam say yes to Lucifer. But he did know one thing for certain - he wasn’t going to wait another five years to have something he knew was inevitable. 

He slowly reached across the mattress to grasp Castiel’s hand in his. He didn’t want to startle the angel. God only knew if this Castiel would feel the same as his future self did. 

But Dean needn’t have worried. Castiel gripped his hand right back. 

Both men smiled down at their joined hands. 

“Hey, Cas?” Dean whispered. 

The angel turned his soft look towards the hunter. “Yes, Dean?”

“How would you feel about finding the nearest diner and trying your first burger?”

“That sounds lovely, Dean.”

Dean would tell Castiel about his trip to 2014 eventually but right now he was content to explore the bond he had with his angel. 

Maybe he was sent to 2014 to learn a lesson after all. Maybe it was indeed a lesson in inevitability. Not in the inevitability of death and heartache, but in love, hope and happiness.

-

A/N: I hope you liked it! I’m not sure I’m entirely confident with how it turned out (and I completely made up canon from what I could barely remember lmao)

Remember to support creators! Reblog if you enjoyed! Thank you. <3

-

Tags: @jhoomwrites @thekingslover @eccentriccas @multifandom-fanatic

If you want to be tagged in future works/want to be removed, let me know!

[the118firefam]

Despair (15×18) Episode Rant :

SPOILERS SPOILERS

- absolutely loved how dean just immediately jumped in to protect jack, "we're not giving up on you" it proves how whatever dean was doing, he was clouded by his hate of chuck and he just let himself be manipulated by that. plus, obviously, how he hurt billie just because she wanted to take jack away. i don't know why people aren't talking about how this was a clear change in the dynamic between the two (or maybe a restoring of what had been blurred?)

- SAM AND DEAN'S CONVERSATION in the bunker was so well-written and im so glad dean accepted what he did was wrong and how he let his hatred and anger control him and that was not cool (? idk which word to use). and how sam was still not ready to give up his hope - they had to find another way.

- i could see such a clear and distinct difference between this charlie and our charlie. like, this charlie was comparitively very closed-off and you could see how the brother-sister dynamic did not exist between her and the winchesters. i thought we were gonna get our charlie back, too? but i still do love au!charlie, and im glad we got to see more of her character and personality in this episode.

- cas and jack's conversation 🥺 it was p e r f e c t. the whole "we love you for you" has been long time coming for each of tfw2.0 and im really glad at least jack got to hear it because you could see in that see that he's just a fucking kid and he has to feel this huge burden and piles of guilt of how he destroyed everything and how he doesn't know what things mean for him anymore. cas was such a supportive father in that scene and as i said, the speech was perfect. jack crying and saying "im scared, cas" was gut-wrenching i am so sad for my baby

- my heart just stopped when eileen stopped typing. that was the moment i started sobbing. sam was so, so happy and he just lost it, in the blink of an eye. the broken look in his eyes when he found her phone and the lil crack in his voice, oh my god it killed me. i literally just want sam to scream for ten minutes, i wanna see his rage and his anger and his frustration because he didn't ask for this and he's honestly so, so fucking tired.

on a side note, i really, really feel for sam in these last couple of episodes. he knew it might be the only chance to kill chuck but he knew it would destroy everything they've formed, the family, the home, everything and so he made a choice - the heart choice, but the correct one. i am so heartbroken for sam, equally as much as for dean and cas and i really hope he gets the happiness he deserves.

- the hug between sam and dean and sam's lil breaths because yes, dean's here, he's still here focus on him and then the way dean cupped his face to convey that very emotion. it just showed that whatever happens, he's still sammy's big brother and he's going to protect him.

- "let's go reap a reaper" omg you dramatic bitch, but that line was so powerful. goosebumps. and cas' "i'll go with you, dean" and dean's little nod (this is the first time dean's agreed isn't it?)

- donna hascum you adorable and precious bean. her "anything for you" and the completely earnest and genuine tone. she's my favorite wayward sister and she's so underrated

- sam knows he can't do much right now but he can make his kid feel better. and that's exactly what he did by asking him to drive – it gave jack some purpose, at least for a while, which he believed was lost forever. it made him feel useful. the fact that sam understands and looks out for jack even in the midst of the literal end is so beautiful

- bobby was the light of this episode, "i bought a bucket, just in case" lmao bobby 😂 i love you whatta mood having peeing as the priority

- the scene where everyone started disappearing made my heart hurt, sam's face broke me fuck, you can see the literal moment when he realises what is happening it's so heartbreaking

- ok what was that scene with donna and jack and the plant? why was jack so shocked that the plant died, what was happening there? someone help me out!

- now let's move to dean and cas.

the line "stop killing my people!" hit me so hard oh fuck

dean's lil protective stance for cas, wholesome 🥺

billie was a bamf. iknow they were the villain but d a m n the power

"i've got you" akshhsjsjsjsjsksksks

now the confession. oh my god. fuck. chills. gave me so many chills. i was just hugging my laptop and sobbing. cas saying "i cared about the whole because you cared" and someone finally telling dean that he's driven by love and not anger was SO NEEDED "you changed me, dean" (the parallels during this entire episode 😩😩😩) and dean's reactions oh fuck. you could see the changes so clearly idk why people thought jensen's reaction was not a reaction. dean is an emotionally repressed man who is told by his best friend that he made a deal that could kill him and then proceeds to talk about happiness which sounds awful much like a goodbye and then tells him he's in love with him. you really think dean would've processed all of that information in the span of three minutes? i wouldn't have processed it– i didn't process it.

- THE HANDPRINT 😭😭😭😭

- dean ignoring sam's calls and just sobbing was so raw and the fact that they didn't add any music to it was a nice call because it just made the scene more real.

- EARTH IS EMPTY WHAT? everyone's gone?????? what the fuck!!!!! it's only jack, sam and dean now? and michael AKDHJSJSJSJ

speight and berens did a good job

[corancoranthemagicalman]

IDK how prompts work......i pick number 12! With destiel? Or do you need more than that??

That’s perfectly great!! Since this prompt list is based on the song (associated with that number) on my playlist, that’s the “prompt” as it were. If that makes sense. LMAO.

So the number you picked is twelve and that’s Marbles by The Amazing Devil on my Spotify Wrapped!! So here’s some Destiel with a hint of Marbles. And I am literally already dying because the first line of Marbles is “I've held your hand since 1979.” Dean Winchester’s birthday? Jan. 24, 1979. So. Destiny and all of that. Other things of note: Cassiel - the angel Castiel is based on - is the angel of tears and solitude. That doesn’t matter here but it made me sad. Another thing is that since Aneal was thought to be Anna’s name but was later introduced in season 13 as a different character, I named her Ananiel who is considered to be a “watcher.” I thought that was fitting since Anna watched humanity and fell.

You can read it on AO3 if you’d prefer. This one got longer than I meant it to. :|

And you can prompt me here for some writing!! 700 followers and 100 songs!!

 **********

It was a cold night in January when it began. Castiel recalled the humans had recently marked the year 1979. The evening was an ordinary one save for the birth of one, small child. Crying, the babe called out for his mother. Like most humans, the babe hungered. Humans milled about before affixing the newborn into the arms of a tired but brightly smiling mother.

Castiel approached Ananiel as the Garrison Captain watched in silent awe. It was an emotion unfathomable to Castiel in regards to humans. Ananiel’s fascination with humanity was not something Castiel could grasp, but their order from God was clear. They were to be humanity’s keepers. In this regard, Ananiel’s ever-watchful eye over humanity was something that Castiel could understand.

Even this aside, the birth of the Righteous Man was a sight to behold and witness. Castiel was certain many an angel had paused in their duties to watch on as the Michael Sword drew in his first breath.

“They’re so unassuming, aren’t they?” Ananiel spoke. When Castiel did not respond, Ananiel continued. “He’s so small. Fragile.”

Castiel cast his gaze, watched on as the small babe’s cries silenced at the hushing of his mother. “It is… difficult … to understand that this one will one day become Michael’s sword against Lucifer.”

Ananiel looked displeased at Castiel’s response, turning to face the future Righteous Man. “No, it’s not just that, Castiel.” The Captain furled their body into something smaller, a reflection of the vessels they would have to wear as they walked the Earth. Wordlessly, Castiel followed suit and moved forward with her.

“All of them.” Ananiel’s words were but a whisper. “All of humanity. So small and frail.” The Captain turned their gaze away from Kansas, to Paris, to Istanbul, to Sweden, and to everywhere and nowhere all at once. “Look at them, Castiel. Look at all that they have done on their own.”

But Castiel did not see what Ananiel was gazing upon. Where his Captain saw monuments and civilization Castiel only saw desolation and despair. A people crying out and misguided as they turned away from God. Castiel told Ananiel this, spoke about the heinous atrocities of humanity that he saw reaped and sowed in equal measure. Again Ananiel was displeased.

“Castiel,” Ananiel spoke. “One day you will see.” Ananiel looked upon the Michael Sword once again.

“What will I see?” Castiel inquired as Ananiel knelt from their position over Michael’s True Vessel. They sat beside Ananiel, eyes becoming unsteady as they tried to observe the same things Ananiel did.

Ananiel offered a smile, eyes kept to the small hospital room. “They are God’s greatest Creation.”

Humming, Castiel was not sure that he could dispute that. Their father had ordered Humanity to be their priority. Lucifer had rebelled because Humanity had been loved more. Certainly, God had viewed Humanity as His greatest Creation. Why would Castiel assume differently?

Castiel kept their assumptions to themselves. They did not wish to lessen Ananiel’s view of them. Their Garrison Captain had humored them enough with their lack of understanding. They were still young. Perhaps with age, Castiel would know. For now, they would wait with the hope of understanding one day.

Then it continued in a motel. The year is 2018 and this is where the End begins. Castiel had not wanted to stay beside his brethren as they let Lucifer rise to destroy Humanity. They had been commanded to protect Humanity, God’s favorite Creation. He would continue to do so besides the Winchester brothers.

He wondered if he now understood what Ananiel had meant all those years ago. Watching the Righteous Man, shoulders heavy and eyes dim, Castiel was reminded of the crying child. Only this time, the child did not allow themselves to cry when they needed something. Instead, Dean Winchester held his tongue. He cleaned his gun as Sam Winchester lay sleeping in the opposite bed.

Dean Winchester was… peculiar . He was an enigma wrapped in mystery only to be thrown in the deepest, darkest depths so that his secrets might never see light. But Castiel had seen Dean’s secrets. He had held the man’s very soul in his hands, putting it together piece by piece. He was nothing that Castiel once thought the Michael Sword should have been.

But with that in mind, Dean was not the Michael Sword, was he? He was not the Righteous Man , but a good man . One who was willing to sacrifice everything for his brother and most everything for Humanity. He had fought harder and longer than some of the angels within Castiel’s own Garrison to protect Humanity as God commanded. In this way, perhaps Dean was a soldier of Heaven. A true warrior of God, fighting for His command.

“You should rest.” Castiel finally spoke, watching as Dean continued his meticulous work.

“You should too,” Dean responded as his gaze remained upon his work. His hands were rough, calloused, but handled his weapon with care. A silent duality to an ever curiously crafted man.

Castiel held his words for a moment, thoughts forming and imploding all at once until he could speak. “I do not require rest, Dean.” He spoke eventually, the human voice granted to him by James Novak restrained as he tried to let Sam sleep. Whispering, Dean had referred to it as once. To let humans sleep.

“Well,” Dean sighed, setting aside his tools before beginning to reassemble his weapon. “I guess that means we can just stay up late. Braid each other’s hair and talk about the new High School Musical coming out.”

Furrowing the brow of his human vessel in curiosity, Castiel leaned forward from where he sat at one of the chairs placed by the table. Dean removed his things from atop the bedsheets before meeting his gaze. “I do not think that is what you want, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes, standing and taking his things to be placed within his bag. “It’s a joke , Cas.” He huffed. “No one actually cares about Senior Year anyway.” There is a muttering of words that Castiel does not strain himself to understand but Dean turns to face him and continues. “Seriously, go on. You perch on some telephone wire while Sam and I get a few hours.”

Castiel felt annoyance trickle along his very being at the insinuation of birdlike habits. But this was how Dean Winchester communicated. In the same way he referred to Sam as a bitch , he meant brother . It was something Castiel was beginning to grow accustomed to.

Standing, Castiel nodded in understanding. Dean did not like to be watched over so closely while resting. Perhaps it was an instinct ingrained into him through his life as a Hunter. “Of course,” he whispered. “Sleep well, Dean.” With an unfurling of his wings that Dean could not see, Castiel cast himself outside of the motel room.

He stared for a moment at the old paint that marked the motel’s wall. He could almost hear Dean sigh, the Righteous Man allowing his shoulders to sag now that there was no appearance to keep up. Dean Winchester would staple a steel bar to his back if such a thing were possible and if it were viable for keeping his posture upright when facing anyone, kin or not.

It was… admirable , Castiel considered. That Dean Winchester would not allow himself to be viewed as vulnerable. He had been charged to watch over his brother much like Castiel had been charged with watching over Dean. It was… familiar , in an oddly disturbing way. That Castiel could see so much of himself within Dean. When first touching Dean’s soul, Castiel had assumed this was because Dean himself was like an angel. Now, though, Castiel could not help but wonder if it were because he was like a human .

He could remember Ananiel’s fall too freshly. Turning to face away from the motel, Castiel could do nothing but wait and hope that they could defeat Lucifer. That he would not stray as Ananiel did.

In Heaven, while the Earth has reached its year of 2020, so much has changed. An aching amount of years had passed with much too much love and pain chained along with those years. Castiel watched and waited, hope catching in his throat. Perhaps, now with Chuck finally defeated and Jack residing over Heaven as God, the Winchesters could rest. They could find peace.

Castiel rubbed at the place over his chest where his heart resided. His chest, he considered it, as it had been a long time since he considered his body a vessel . There was a beautiful sort of ache knowing that someone you loved would finally get to achieve their happiness. Perhaps this is what Anna had meant all those years ago. Perhaps she too had seen the man that Dean Winchester would become, or the hope of the man he could be. Or perhaps she had no idea whatsoever what it meant to fall in love with a human.

Jack turned from the board he had been staring at blankly. Castiel had no clue as to where the young God’s gaze had turned, but he welcomed him back with a warm smile. Jack, however, greeted his smile with something small and bittersweet.

Furrowing his brow, Castiel placed his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “What is it?” He asked softly. Had already there begun a war to fight? Was there no time for rest as Heaven had been recrafted and Humanity given their Free Will?

“It’s Dean,” Jack spoke gently. “He’s… here.” His words eventually drew out from him, reaching Castiel’s grace and morphing his hesitant spirit into one of sorrow. Already Dean Winchester was dead, resigned to Heaven when there was still a full life on Earth to have been had for him.

“Oh,” Castiel let out in a breath. He felt Heaven spin around him, vision swirling until he was forced to take a seat. Jack followed him, arms reaching out but withheld as not to touch Castiel. “Dean Winchester is…”

“Dead.” Jack nodded as that bittersweet smile remained. “Yes. He’s at the Roadhouse with Bobby Singer now.”

Castiel swallowed heavily. The thought that Dean was being greeted by a familiar and warm face was a soothing balm to the gaping wound left in his heart. “That’s good.” His throat felt constricted around his words. With these thoughts, he could understand the bittersweetness to Jack’s smile. Perhaps this was how Dean Winchester found his peace and true rest. It was unfair , certainly, that Dean should pass so young and not see his peace out on Earth. It was almost cruel when Dean wanted nothing more than a family . Then a home .

Jack smiled then, inhaling a deep breath and transforming his expression. “Time passes differently here, doesn’t it?” He contemplated after the long silence. “I mean, I see everything all at once and yet I experience things in both Heaven and Earth.”

“I… suppose.” Castiel bobbed his head for a moment, folding his hands to rest on his lap. “When I was in Heaven, before all of… everything … there were moments of time that would pass that to the Winchesters was months, or sometimes the reverse was true. And I would be fighting for months and have only been gone a few minutes.”

There was understanding, soft like a new dawn, across Jack’s face. “He’s here now too. Sam, I mean.”

Releasing the breath that he had not known he was holding, Castiel smiled. “Good.” He spoke genuinely with his throat less dry and his words less hollow. “Now he can have peace.”

Jack furrowed his brow, blinking in something akin to surprise at Castiel’s words. “No.” His words were firm but gentle, reminding Castiel of the displeasure Anna had displayed to him many lifetimes ago. “He doesn’t have everything to complete his Heaven yet.”

Castiel could remember watching Dean rake leaves. Waiting with a silent hope that somehow Dean would see him , despite hiding himself from Dean’s gaze. He could remember avoiding Dean’s presence in Purgatory with the blind hope that waiting his time would save Dean . He could remember Naomi and the tablets and countless other things that had left Castiel waiting and hoping .

He could wait and hope for this too. For Dean’s happiness. Perhaps in that short time before his arrival in Heaven - had it been short at all? - Dean had lived something of a life, had met someone. There was a hope that all Dean would have to do was wait and he could have his peace.

“He’s waiting.” Jack’s voice rang out, resonating within Castiel’s grace. Once a meager captain, once a seraph, now an archangel for Jack’s reign as God, Castiel could equate his grace to a soul . The very core of his being despite how much it had been rebuilt and replaced to keep him alive, to keep him powered.

“How much longer will he have to wait?” Castiel asked, fearful of the answer but desperate for it all the same.

Smiling, Jack took the seat across from Castiel and mirrored the templing of his hands. “Soon.” He answered instead. “Did you know that when you rebuilt Dean’s soul you stitched him together with your grace?”

Confused, Castiel slowly nodded. “Yes, but…” he cut his words short, furrowing his brow as he tried to puzzle Jack’s words. “But Dean’s soul and my grace are not what they once were.”

“No,” Jack agreed, tilting his head and gathering his thoughts in a single breath. “No, you aren’t the same. Except you are. You’ve… grown, I suppose. But at your hearts, you’re the same.”

Castiel could concur to that, thinking on how they had not changed. They had continued in their patterns until their deaths. The only thing that had differed in their twelve years of kinship was Castiel’s deathbed confession. He grimaced at the thought, thinking of the weight he must have placed upon Dean’s shoulders, knowing that his love for the man had been what sentenced Castiel to death. Yet Castiel could not regret any actions that might have spared Dean.

Suddenly, Castiel heard a faint voice. It was quieter than a songbird’s first tune but thrice as precious. Dean Winchester’s voice called out, a silent prayer, a calling of longing. Castiel’s eyes widened and yet Jack looked as if he had been expecting this.

“You didn’t forget where you placed your marbles, did you?” He teased, a smile bright stretching his face into something that felt close to Heaven in Castiel’s heart.

“No,” Castiel answered without hesitation. Dean’s longing called again, asking for Castiel. “But…”

Jack laughed, standing and placing his hands on Castiel’s shoulders. “Go find out where Dean Winchester placed his marbles.” He winked and released his grip on Castiel before turning back to the board they had been working over. “I’ll be here when you’re done.” Jack grinned. “Think of it like a 9 to 5 for God.”

Huffing a surprised laugh, Castiel stood. His hands shook and his knees felt weak. “I’ll… see you soon.” He promised, unfurling his wings and stretching his form before taking flight.

It continued like this. Castiel was in Heaven, staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The blue eyes contained within his body reminded him of the river not far from the cabin. The lines on his face reminded him of crow’s feet as he smiled. The hair atop his head was askew from a good night’s rest before, sleeping heavily with content in a large room on a large bed.

Arms, warm, wrapped around his waist. Dean’s chin rested atop his shoulder and a green gaze met his own in the reflection. “Mornin’, sunshine,” Dean mumbled, smiling sleepily to which Castiel could do not much more than return it.

“Good morning, Dean.” Castiel rumbled, felt his happiness roll out from him like thunder, before turning in Dean’s arms to run his fingers through golden hair. “What are we going to do today?”

Dean hummed, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Castiel’s own. He peered one eye open carefully to catch Castiel’s before closing it again with a smile. “How about you and I go to the lake.” He offered a breathy chuckle. “Off by the pier. Just you and me.” A sharp nose ran gently across Castiel’s cheek, a kiss of skin as Dean tightened his arms around Castiel’s waist.

“That sounds wonderful,” Castiel murmured, closing his eyes and inhaling sharply this scent of familiarity in their shared bathroom.

“Good.” Dean drew back with a smile but not before placing a soft kiss to the corner of Castiel’s mouth. “I’ve got a good feeling about today.”

Offering a blinding smile, Castiel threaded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “Me too.”

[spnreactionblogging]

CARRY ON

spoilers below but I’m very late to the game

here we go!!! there's Some Woman in the thumbnail for this episode and I'm like oh boy did you fuckers turn castiel into a girl to make it Not Gay, I will riot. we're off to a dread-inducing start I'm honestly not even sure I want to watch this? I have not heard anything good but since my options are either keep SPN blacklisted forever but ultimately get spoiled anyway, or use my dwindling remaining time to see it for myself without being told what happens, may as well be on my own terms I am hearing that misha and possibly j2 were not happy with this, whatever this is (?????) yikes I don't understand how you even have another episode after the last one. that seems like a traditional ending. you either beat a dead horse or go ultra meta and it sounds like they dropped the ball, big time but let's see jack's sweet and deserved better. there's a clock but it's NOT heat of the moment playing, damn oh the dog. we love you miracle dog sam's still jogging where's eileen!!!! I like seeing sam cooking I actually enjoy watching them do domestic stuff dean sneaking food to the dog 😭 can this be the whole episode, just them doing chores I meant to catch which book sam was reading I can't tell but it looks like it's old this is extra bonus sad for knowing that they couldn't even like, have a wrap party or anything. extra isolated. :( SPECIAL GUEST STAR JIM BEAVER!!! "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Oh, I don't have a choice." dean hasn't been this relatable to me in years, this is how I feel watching this lmao akron pie fest dean dies of complications from diabetes god I miss bakeries or restaurants or anything I do love Sad Sam Face "I"'m thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here." thank you Sam that pain isn't going away for me either "stop being an eeyore" Sam's the Eeyore of the series, Dean, okay, and same lmao jared fucking slammed that pie into jensen's face and they just filmed it. you can see the actual glee on his face brady??? like sam's old classmate? wasn't that his name? or no some kid. is this just a regular-ass monster of the week. do sam and dean just get killed by like. regular people? are there no monsters anymore. I would actually love that. humanity is truly the worst monster of all. didn't we learn that in season 1 :') in "the benders" are these guys sam and dean? are they just murdering monster families like they did in the holiday episode? what is happening. are those dean's shoes. I could probably recognize how they walk if I really paid attention i guess not. probably. "singer and kripke, FBI" ha fucking clowns lmao poor sam they still have dad's journal, huh. THE LORE evil mimes. vamp-mimes. I guess they kill these dudes? we gonna unmask them or what there we go this guy looks like joseph gordon-levitt oh we love torture on this show this is definitely "dean who's NOT the ultimate killer" amirite "if those kids are dead he's gonna use a spoon" how very walter sullivan of you also I feel like sam would not do this anymore but hey who am I, someone who likes consistent characterization? lol we're back to creepy barns instead of wet pipe factories dean has a fucking shuriken lmao I honestly for real need a machete for the overgrown weeds I don't hate this so far? I'm tired of the constant torture but I guess this feels like early seasons, kind of. idk. lmao sam with the concussions. classic tie them to a chair. it's what we do. i will be disappointed if they are not tied to a chair jenny? cue studio killers. I do not remember whatever episiode this is but it looks very early based on sam's hair oh thanks sam. couldn't get out of this episode without beheading a woman too one of the suggestions for me typing "woman" was a high-heeled shoe emoji. thanks, predictive text...?????? true feminist oh damn he could very well get tetanus from that. that's how trinity dies, man. should've gotten your booster shot, dean. vaccines save lives this is like the plot of signs why don't you guys wear bulletproof shit. your plot armor was holding you together until now. GUYS THIS IS HOW HUNTERS GO OKAY don't ever un-impale someone, guys like "dean we are in a major city, there are ambulances" call fucking 911, someone could be there already "I've always looked up to you" because you're taller than me lmaoooo idefk what to say about this like. we all know this is how hunters die. you fucking leered at jessica is what you did, dean if sam makes it out of this I'll accept it. if sam lives I can be okay. if this is the only way sam gets free of this, I'm okay. CALL 911 AND CALL JACK "always keep fighting" aw :( they're both very good at crying, I will give them that we never think it's gonna be the day. at least you got pie. OH THE WINCHESTER FAMILY MUSIC don't do this to me dean got a way better death than castiel. this actually reminds me a liiiiittle bit of the end of season 2? with how dean holds sam's body. the writing here is overwrought though. jared and jensen do the best they can with the script they're given but like you guys just FOUGHT GOD. they're a bit too up their own ass with this. you can tell that dabb thinks he's very clever. sam... gets a dog again? at least. i guess. the pacing is bad. I don't hate this on principle but it is not executed well. I am having like no emotional response to this except maybe relief for sam in a horrid way. like, you're free! at what cost. it's like the opposite of season 5? sam survives instead of dean. and... sam marries a dog. where do they get all this fucking lumber!!! did sam chop that all himself dude if he woke up to "heat of the moment" i'd lose my shit in the best way. gabriel wins. "gotta keep you on your toes." what had to change in this because of the pandemic? at least sam has a dog to be in scenes with him. the two guns as big and little brothers is an interesting choice of a shot. god the fucking phones. "DHS" "CIA" "dean's 'other other' phone" "state patrol" what's the paperwork on his desk? (512) is an Austin area code I have this on amazon prime and the saddest thing thus far is X-Ray: Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester, with no other actors at all. meta ways, pandemic related. "this is agent bon jovi" donna's alive??? sam just quit, babe. just quit. or take a day off at least, jesus. didn't you just drive back from ohio are you even gonna go back to the bunker DEAN IN HEAVEN!!! how'd you get here. "well at least I made it to heaven" lmao he said the same thing oh hey bobby!! I love jack god i've missed jim beaver you guys moved on to dream bubbles!!!!! RUFUS how very homestuck + narnia of you, starring sam winchester as susan pevensie so jack just like melded all of these metaphysical spaces, I'm cool with that "so the question is what are you gonna do now, dean?" get a better beer so I can drink and drive with my car that's in heaven, I'm already dead so who cares what I hit TELL ME WHERE IS BALTHAZAR FOR I MUCH DESIRE TO SPEAK WITH HIM break everyone out of the empty I do get the impression this was supposed to be a big cast reunion and the pandemic clobbered that :( oh it's the original license plate on the impala sure do love that cas and jack "helped" to give dean everything he's ever wanted. the only time "carry on my wayward son" has been diegetic I guess sam and the dog had a child I like jared in glasses are we doing a bunch of elderly makeup yeah there he is did they just spray grey temp dye on his hair or what is sam gonna drive into toluca lake!!! buddy please don't just run the engine in a garage, he took off his glasses and that makes me nervous jake gyllenhaal looking dude which cover is this must be nice to have healthcare I so appreciate that sam's wife has zero personality and is merely in the background, of no importance whatsoever compared to his kid named dean are the two impalas gonna meet in heaven????? vancouver is beautiful, or wherever this is at jared looks so cozy in that coat you can tell j2 really do love each other for real the majesty of that forest/that river got me choked up a bit, it's such a lonely thing. like. I can see what they were going for? like dean just... getting sick, falling off a ladder, getting in a car accident, etc etc would've been more potent, I think. the execution was not good. I'm not that unhappy though. it's all right. eh. it's fine. the heartfelt message from the cast (what's left of them....) and the crew was sweet. I want to know what they were intending to do? I feel like you can definitely feel the weight of COVID fucking this up which is genuinely upsetting. sam gets like 50 years of being free of dean I GUESS???? perhaps the only way to break the cycle.

at least there was no sexual assault in this episode. i have definitely watched way worse episodes of this show. it's like. twee. but I can't be mad at these guys especially with how much I know jared in particular has been struggling with the state of the world this year but jensen talked about it with rosenbaum on his show too. 2020 has been rough. like. at least they filmed it. whatever. I feel like I get what they were trying to do even if circumstances meant it wasn't really pulled off. it seems like they were supposed to have a big cast reunion and the pandemic took the wind completely out of their sails. this feels incredibly tacked on. 15x19 would've been a much better place to stop. I feel like I just read andrew dabb's notes. I get what they were trying to go for but they didn't pull it off. I thought it was gonna be a lot worse tbh in summary: EHHHHHHHHH

[virginbutstillahoe]

Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then tag ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) SPREAD POSITIVITY ❤

i was tagged in this yesterday and i’m just getting around to it now bc i genuinely didn’t know what to say.  then i decided that i just wouldn’t bc there wasn’t anything good about me.  but you know what, i just turned 22, and i finally just realized that i’m tired of hating myself and being so negative.  so i really thought long and hard about this.  i slept on it.  i thought about it in the shower.  here i am.  bc not only am i too young to hate me and constantly talk down to myself, but i have a chance to normalize self love, and i’m gonna do it goddamn it.  so i’m actually really proud of myself for doing this.  i know it all seems a little melodramatic for a tag game, but you know what, i’m a deep ass emotional bitch, so this is the real mental journey it took me on lmao.

okay monologue over. 

i was tagged by: @navajolovesdestiel thank you bud (: 

1.) my wisdom.  i’m not really wise when it comes to my own situations in life and i still have a LOT to learn, but when it comes to helping others navigate their problems i really shine.  i’m really good at giving advice to my friends and offering perspectives they might not have thought of right away, and they always compliment me on my wisdom and say i’m like their parent.  

2.) my empathy.  it can be a blessing and a curse sometimes because my empathy is so intense to the point that if someone tells me they have a headache, my head starts to throb.  i wish that was an exaggeration.  however, my empathy has really given me the opportunity to be friends with, help, and communicate with several different people, from very different walks of life, and make changes in my self as well as in my school and community to help those who are different from me who are marginalized or discriminated against.

3.) my intense emotions.  i’ve talked about it a little bit on here before, but usually i talked about it like a weakness, because for most of my life, i thought it was a weakness.  i’m trying really hard to not think of it like that anymore.  i feel everything to the extreme.  happiness, sadness, frustration, etc.  even though it can be really hard sometimes, it’s what makes me, me.  and it’s a hell of a lot better than feeling empty and nothing my whole life.  it allows me to truly experience things, find deeper meanings in things that may seem mundane or normal (kind of like this whole tag lmao), and get really passionate about things i care about in a way others can’t or don’t.  i’m choosing to see that as a gift instead of a short coming.  it actually made me tear up when i was watching the spn episode that came out on monday (15x13 also sorry for the spoiler) when cas was talking about how much more dean feels than other humans, and he was talking about it in a loving way.  dean has always been like my soul sister, especially when it comes to our emotional expression, and i cried like a baby to hear it be talked about in that way.  

4.) my singing voice.  that may seem a little shallow or conceited to say, but my ability to sing well really makes me feel good when i feel really bad and really boosts my self-esteem.  i love singing so much and it really is a source of comfort to me as well as an outlet of my emotions and i’m just happy to have that gift.  i always tried to tell myself that i wasn’t a good singer because i didn’t want to feel the hurt if someone ever said i wasn’t a good singer, but i actually really am.  part of the reason i love ariana grande’s music so much is because her singing voice is really similar to mine (of course she’s a professional so i’m not as good as her, but i’m really damn close)

5.) my silliness.  most of the time when i’m on tumblr i’m very in my feels because in real life i don’t let it show that frequently and i need a place to let it out, but in my normal life i am a silly ass bitch.  we love just doing silly dances out of no where and funny accents and dress up like HELL YEAH.  i am a toddler at heart and i love it.  i love being silly.  being goofy is so underrated and people who act too cool to goof off and look down on others for being silly are boring there i said it, sorry about it.  

normally i would apologize for making that so long and deep but, i told a friend recently that i would try and stop apologizing for being myself (: this is a really big step for me, so shawn, thank you for supporting me and caring enough to tell me to cut the shit.

thank you for reading if you did (:

tagging: @green-eyes-and-classic-rock, @victorian-sexstache, and @multifandom-fanatic as usual.  and of course, anyone else who wants to participate. :D

[sortasirius]

...Let Go

Pairing: Dean/Cas as usual for me now

AN: Hello it's me again, back with some terribly sad and angsty Dean because that's how I work through my own stuff I guess.  Lmk what you think because I crave validation lmao.

Warnings: Excessive alcohol consumption, good ole fashioned masturbation, angsty as all hell

Words: 1554

Up on my AO3 here.

Dean was drunk.  So drunk, in fact, that he was having trouble seeing the glass in front of him.  It moved and changed with the neon blue light from the Blue Moon sign, replicating and then smoothing back to one, so he had to swipe at the whiskey glass a couple of times before lifting it to his mouth.

Cas had left hours ago, and Dean, once he had peeled himself away from the Bunker’s table, he had headed straight for the Impala, turning the key and pulling out of the garage, fighting back the ache in his chest that threatened to overwhelm him if he thought about Cas too much.

When he pulled into Lebanon’s most trusty dive bar, he felt a little pang of guilt for Sam, so he sent him a quick text, letting him know where he was.  It’s not like Sam would come looking for him, he was trapped in his own little world for a while, and Dean had learned long ago that the best way to let Sam heal was to leave him be, and to have a hot meal ready on the table when he decided to come out of his room.  But for now, Dean needed to get blind fucking drunk just to forget about this absolute hell of a week.

He sat down at the semi-crowded bar, ordered a whiskey from the pretty bartender, and downed it in one.  It was that kinda night. 

“Leave the bottle,” he told her.  She smiled at him with the kind of look he used to crave when he was younger, eager to take someone home.  Now, he smiled back, allowing her to leave without asking for her number.

In the time that followed, he finished almost half the bottle.  Any time he saw someone with jet black hair, he took a shot.  Every time he closed his eyes and saw blue eyes, he took a shot.  Every time he inhaled and didn’t smell the stale beer of the bar, but smelled the Bunker’s kitchen where he and Cas would cook, he took a shot.

He hadn’t gotten this drunk in years, the last time he thought it was when John had left him on his own for a hunt, and he had cracked it two days before he and John were going to meet up.  He had gone to some shitty club, gotten absolutely shitfaced, and ended up in a way-too-seedy sex party down the street where he only remembered about a fifth of what went down.  He had had to get tested at a free clinic in Topeka the next week, pretending that he was researching the history of the case he and John were on.  Point is, he didn’t get blackout, forget-your-name drunk often, but sometimes life calls for it.

After he had been sitting at the bar for nearly two hours, the waitress pulled the nearly empty bottle away from him.  Dean made a grab for it, but being so smashed had its drawbacks, and his reflexes were not what they usually were.

“Sorry man, gotta cut you off,” she said, and Dean wished he couldn’t see the look of pity on her face.  Apparently he was being very obvious.

“M’fine,” he slurred, trying to turn up the charm, which probably made him look more pitiable.

“No, you’re not.  I shoulda cut you off forty-five minutes ago.  You’re not driving.  Do you have a ride home?”

“I’ll sleep in my car.”

“No, I can call you a cab.  We can keep your keys in the safe and you can pick them up tomorrow.”

Dean wanted to argue, but he knew he wouldn’t win against her.  In his current state, she could probably force him into a cab if she really wanted to.  So, like he was sawing off his own arm, he handed the keys of the Impala over to her.

“’M not leavin til I see them in the safe.”

The bartender, who had short, spiky black hair that Dean liked, opened the safe under the bar and dropped them in.

“You can come back at 10 tomorrow morning, what’s the name for them?”

“Cas,” he said, without thinking, and immediately wanted another drink.

“Okay, what’s the car?” she was dialing the phone, calling him a cab.  It was a nice thing, almost like he was being taken care of.

“Black ‘67 Chevy Impala.  I know every scratch on her so-”

“It’ll be fine.  Pretty sleepy town, “ she said, “What address are they taking you to?”

He gave it to her, he had drank himself past fighting.  She pulled him out of the bar towards the cab and pushed him in, just as he had predicted.

“I don’t even know your name,” he slurred to her as she shut the door.

“It’s Cassandra.  Get home safe okay?”

“I have a friend named Cas,” he started saying, but the car pulled away before he could finish his sentence, not that he knew what he was going to say anyway.

The cab dropped him off at the end of the road, and Dean stumbled into the Bunker, shushing himself as he gripped the handrail with both hands.

He fell, no, collapsed into his bed, knowing that the crippling hangover that was heading his way in the morning was no joke, he made himself drink a glass of water.

His master plan of getting drunk enough to forget everything that had happened hadn’t worked, because as soon as he dragged himself into bed, he was forced to relive Cas leaving.  The things he said, the way Cas had looked at him, like Dean was breaking his heart, his blue eyes turning away from Dean, and Dean himself, so angry that he couldn’t tell Cas that it was all right, because it wasn’t.  Nothing was.

Thinking about something positive didn’t help, his only positive memories reminded him of Cas too.  Why the fuck did everything remind him of Cas?  Why couldn’t he just let Cas go?

He wiggled his way out of his jeans, toeing off his boots, he heard them clunk to the floor, and then the dull clang of his belt buckle following suit.  Without thinking, he stuck his hand down his underwear, gripping himself and he let the thoughts of Cas overtake him as he touched himself.

He thought of his eyes, his hair, his full-throated laugh, the way he looked at Dean.  The memory of Cas sitting next to him in the Impala, head thrown back, listening to the mixtape Dean had made him, his hand out the window, pure bliss. 

Dean was starting to pant, too drunk to be precise, he fell into his animal instincts, doing only what felt best second to second, as thoughts of Cas, and nothing but Cas, filled his mind.  God he wanted Cas.

He thought of Cas’ lingering touches on his skin, wishing it was Cas touching him instead of himself.  Platonic touches that burned his skin like Cas was made of fire.  Every touch left a mark on him the same as the first time Cas had touched him.  Dean groaned as he thought of Cas’ hands, his broad shoulders, his chest, his fucking shoulder blades, god damn, god damn him, god damn Cas.

Dean refused to call out his name when he came, even though his drunk-ass brain really really wanted to, so he bit down on his lip, so hard that he tasted blood, and as he came down from his high, the horrible ache in his chest came back, and he longed for Cas, more than he longed for him usually, because now Cas wasn’t in the next room.  He had moved on, and Dean was absolutely terrified that he may never see him again.

Dean was right, the hangover was crippling in the morning, but he walked his ass over to the bar the next morning to get his baby, because as shitty as he felt, he wasn’t going to leave her in some fucking parking lot for longer than he had to. 

The bartender from the night before was there when he walked in, and she smiled at him when she saw him.

“Made it through the night, huh?”

“Barely,” his voice was gravelly and rough.  She laughed at him, and maybe hearing another person laugh helped the knot in his chest ease a little.

“Well, your car’s fine.  Name was under...”

“Cas,” he said, mentally telling drunk Dean to go fuck himself for that.

“Yeah, here you go,” she tossed him the keys, “Glad you got home okay.”

“Thanks,” he said, turning towards the door.

“Hope you find your friend, Cas.  You mentioned them last night.”

Dean turned and stared at her.  She seemed sincere, she obviously had no idea that even his name made Dean want to rip open his chest and throw his heart against the wall.

“Thanks.”

He walked out of the bar, got into the Impala, and headed back to the Bunker, desperately hoping when he opened the door, that Cas would be there, waiting for him.  But no such luck.  The Bunker was empty when he got back, and Dean shut himself in his room, hoping that his headache would distract from the pieces of broken heart that he left laying on the floor.

[carryoncastiel]

14x19 - “Jack In The Box” thoughts

Pre-thoughts: Honestly after that The Magicians fiasco the other day all I’m thinking is “Please, just don’t fuck this up Buckleming” lol. So let’s just start:

Recap: Jack did some bad things. Dean and Cas drama. The Empty infiltrated heaven. Necromancy didn’t work. - This could all be very good and interesting...

Aww that was a very nice Goodbye speech to Mary. 

WTF....WTF?...

Ok the dude was a wraith apparently. (it did look suspicious that he wasn’t toasting with the others). But way to almost ruin that nice scene.

Cas’ sad look at Dean *clutches heart*

Au!Bobby may have liked Jack but he is stuck in the old “Kill bad thing without question” mentality. Cas and Sam on the other end want to help Jack while Dean is doing his usual thing of retreating into his shell so he’s not much help right now.

Poor Jack wishes his mom was there to help him figure this all out :(

Instead we get the most annoying character back...*sigh* Even when Nick is dead we still aren’t save from Mark P.

Dean out there crying in the woods alone. SOMEONE HOLD ME T__T SOMEONE HOLD HIM!!!

Naomi has been demoted apparently. And Dumah is acting kinda suspicious...maybe the Empty never left her entirely

They do have an advantage over everyone else in that they know Mary is in heaven and in peace. But Dean’s emotions are still too raw right now to think that.

Dumah finds Jack. “How did you find me?”. Dumah doesn’t answer and instead tells him it wasn’t his fault what happened to Mary. And she continues telling him everything he wants to hear. This raises all the alarms (Edit after finishing the episode: How DID she find him?)

Is this the Godstiel callback? Dumah and Jack going around and killing people who tell lies about god? But what is the goal here...

...ah, making new angels. By “redisposing” humans. Sam and Dean would not like that one Jack.

Of course someone had to die horribly. No Buckleming without horrific deaths.

*Robert Singer walking by in the hospital*

Wait the worm guy survived?....And unnecessary worm out of mouth scene. - Thanks?

Jack can’t be killed. But he can go IN THE BOX dun dun dun

Wow Dean. You wann a trick Jack into the box? 

“No, what I want is for Zeppelin to get back together. What I need- what we need is to stop Jack. Big difference” want vs need, I vs We. 

Cas is obviously not gonna be on bord with this plan since he’s completely absent here.

(I feel bad for Misha. Having to film while it’s cold and raining and he gets completely drenched. The other dude at least has a hood.)

*dude walks into the heaven throne room* Please, don’t make him fall over and reveal Cas standing behind him....

*CAS THROWS HIM TO THE SIDE* LMAO

Cas is PISSED

Dumah is trying to “save heaven” to “save the world”. Cas is not having it.

Sam: “Jack we want- we need to see you” I cannot not notice these.

Dumah threatening Cas with destroying Mary’s heaven. So Cas is forced again to kill an angel, kill Dumah. :/

“I...snapped” Oh Jack. You may want to stop talking or Dean is the one who’s gonna snap next.

Indeed Dean is trying REALLY hard not to snap and kill Jack right here and now

Jack is in the box. But the music is still super intense so something’s gonna happen.

I assume since he’s stromger than an archangel he can maybe still get out.

They just left him there all alone :( And he’s calling for them :((((((

Leaving him in there in the dark will just fuck him up even more. This is not a good solution.

Cas is PISSED. Again. This time at Sam and Dean for manipulating Jack to go in the box. Same Cas.

Everything shakes. The alarm goes off. Jack escaped the box and now he is probably very angry...

Sam, looking scared “Jack?”. Well now he will defnitely not trust you again.

That was a very good episode. Only one or two scenes where you could feel it was Buckleming but other than that I really enjoyed this. Only the finale left. Ahhhhhhhhh

*Terminator music plays*