#carmy never being allowed to be good at things growing up without it causing problems

[downspirals]

i just think. one day i will write an essay about carmy and shame because i think that takes up so much of his character in general but specifically like. how he went out of his way to be the best, and how he was constantly belittled for that by his family. at the christmas meal, all they do is talk down to him and act as if he thinks he's too good for them, or that his professional training is somehow inferior to just learning from home or etc etc. it makes me . ... HM...