#carla from milo murphy’s law

[shilonas]

Ok, i’ll do it! I’ll share the art! Including the terrible stuff! Ok??

[homestuck-word-counter]

And I, like an insane person, decided to do all of this.

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”

I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.

“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.

Did you know that…?

1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him

2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse

we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs

one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale

we are talking about a universe where this is canon

for god’s sake

Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????

It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla

Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again. 

I thought Perry was with the Panda?

That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents

‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘

had me crying

I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.

what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb

#wait doof isnt evil anymore what

@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.

and he is trying to be a good guy now

also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good

1.Science teacher

2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)

this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb

Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.

I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.

yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case

Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?

What the fuck became of my post

sorry im really passionate about my phineas and ferb lore

Also Doof is legally an Ocelot

Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post

It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.

What the FUCK

Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots

I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing

Okay, was anybody going to tell me that dr doof became a time traveller?

or was I just supposed to read that in a post about the possibility of doof and perry dating

@/looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.

@/oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.

Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.

But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.

You know, having you around just makes me feel, you know, safer.

I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.

‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!

Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.

Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!

Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.

So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’

I’d say both are correct

Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway

#doof and perrys routine thing is just foreplay

Foeplay*

where’s that post about the OWCA agents just being emotional support animals for the “evil” scientists

HERE

I’m surprised at how nobody mentioned how much the show ships them itself. It’s not just the fans’ whim

Oh, Perry the Platapus, look at us. We're fighting over the remote like an old married couple.

You never meant to work with me, did you, Perry the heartbreaker? Yes, go. Go back to your agency with their... Their uncool acronyms! Just remember, we once had something special!

WELL, THERE'S A PANDA IN MY CLOSET

AND A PANDA PAW PRINT ON MY CHEEK.

BUT IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

dress sort of suits if you know you just accentuate the positives as they say

Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

He gets that from you you know.

SLAP YOURSELF

I'd just built an inator. I called it the Babe-inator!

No, it's not what you think

(Not pictured: the whole Peter the Panda’s arc)

In conclusion: The show wants you to ship them

EVERYBODY WAKE UP. It’s canon now. (one sided at least) Checkmate. The post is over

Doof loves his enemy

I FINALLY SAW THIS IN PERSON AND IT’S GOTTEN EVEN BETTER!!!

IT JUST KEEPS GOING???

Do you like the colors of Perryshmirtz?

phineas and ferb heritage post

🏠One thousand five-hundred and four of these words are in Homestuck!🏠

the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk

[urfaveisobjectum]

Bradley Nicholson from Milo Murphy’s Law is Objectum and liked Carla the Ice Cream Machine!

[samthecookielord]

The Carla scene from milo murphys law but henry is bradley and the tunisian diamond is carla

That is all

[mysteriesofmilo]

Milo Murphy's Law Shipping Tournament!

We're gonna do it again!

This time, as previously announced, we're doing a tournament for your favorite ships from this universe. I've decided that if your ship was written in, or it received 4 or more votes (including the person who said "all of them", it will be in. Thanks to your votes, I've determined that the lineup for this tournament is:

Bradley x Carla

Bradley x Lydia

Bradley x Melissa

Brick x Savannah

Cavendish x Hildegard

Dakota x Cavendish

Dakota x Savannah

Diogee x Pio

Doof x Stephanie

Melissa x Amanda

Ms. Murawski x her desk

Grandma x Grandpa Murphy

Joey x Laura Murphy

Marcus x Eileen Underwood

Martin x Brigette Murphy

Milo x Amanda

Milo x Brulee Twins

Milo x Melissa

Milo x Joni

Neal x Sara

Scott x Cynthia

Scott x Mildred

Zack x Jackie

Zack x Melissa

Zack x Milo

Your first round matchups are:

Melissa x Amanda vs Joey x Laura Murphy

Dakota x Cavendish vs Zack x Melissa

Cavendish x Hildegard vs Scott x Cynthia

Marcus x Eileen Underwood vs Zack x Milo

Milo x Melissa vs Diogee x Pio the Poodle

Martin x Brigette vs Milo x Amanda

Neil x Sara vs Brick x Savannah

Grandma x Grandpa Murphy vs Scott x Mildred

Dakota x Savannah vs Doof x Stephanie

Vote here: https://forms.gle/rmwG5U8Sj3duq5Un6

View the bracket here: https://challonge.com/ikf6ugw9

And view the wiki here: https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Relationships

NOTE: not all of the ships listed are included on the Relationships page. You may also want to check out the Characters page: https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Characters

EDIT: I'm setting an end date for Sunday May 9th, Mother's Day. Time TBD because I will have important things to do with my mother.

[sheyffer]

On Bradley (and the rest of this show’s glorified ableism)

Do I have your attention? Good. Because I have things to say.

This is the collective salt built up over the course of most of this entire season, so be warned. This will be long, and most of you aren’t gonna like this - so feel free to skip to the bottom line at the end of the post, I guess.

Without further ado:

So. If you’ve been following me or are a somewhat frequent visitor on the show’s tag(s), you might have noticed I like Bradley. With how much screentime he’s been getting lately, I should be happy, right? Well, I would be, but instead, it just made me feel terrible, week after week. People who’ve talked to me during those times will know. But let me explain.

- Bradley and me

Cheesy title, but what’re you gonna do. See, when MML first came around, I was pretty quick to declare Bradley my favorite character. The first few episodes were great, and I loved what they set Bradley up to be: A kid living in Milo’s shadow, dealing with the rightful bitterness coming out of that. His friendship (or whatever you wanna call it) with Mort and his crush on Melissa had great potential, and knowing these writers, I was expecting some great episodes in these directions. Not that we ever got any, but more on that later.

As the show went on, I noticed something else about Bradley. I know there are a bunch of “(character) is autistic” headcanons out there - and I’m not gonna say anything against those because they’re all valid -, and that Bradley’s also come up in these regards several times. I fully support that headcanon (partly because I’m autistic myself and he’s my favorite character so projection is bound to happen in one way or another), but there’s something specific I’d like to bring up: something I’ll call the switch, for lack of a better word. I will admit that I’m not spending time with other autistic people that often so I can only really speak for myself here... but man. It’s been a while since I’ve seen a (cartoon) character that so obviously has that very same issue (whether the writers intended that or not is another topic; again, see further down). I’m struggling with it a lot myself, as good as on the daily, and seeing actual representation of this in a show makes me feel incredibly validated - because, again, when does any character ever have this?

- A little tangent regarding that “switch”

I should explain what I mean in the first place, of course. Basically, I’ll only care about a topic if it actually affects me in some way, and if it doesn’t, my attention is basically zero. No matter how close we are, I probably won’t even attempt to fake interest when you’re talking about something that has no significance to me, because if I do, people tend to notice quite easily (and I prefer keeping things genuine because me being dishonest would arguably just complicate things further if people realized eventually). Better yet, with the stuff I am interested in, I often end up caring way too much -  so it really is kind of a switch, per se. My emotional investment is either full on or full off, no inbetween. Makes me an awful person to be around when you want to talk about anything beyond the fandoms or characters I’m currently interested in, for the most part, but I’m glad about the people who, for years, have stuck with and supported me anyway :’) Maybe you can see by now how Bradley reminds me of this, but here’s some assorted aspects:

Him failing to somewhat relate to Milo no matter how similar they kind of are in various regards

Him actually being friends with and hanging out with plenty of people he gets along with great (compared to having none whatsoever, as could’ve easily been the case if he really was just a jerk), though he's almost never the one to initiate the conversation unless it's Milo related

Him being straight up rude to those people at times, resulting in everyone getting mad at him (which I can’t really blame them for, but still)

And him in turn being way too emotionally invested in certain topics, see Milo and what Bradley believes to be him stealing the show (and Carla, of course)

Melissa puts it really well in Milo's World when she says Milo is so great because he always cares deeply about other people - Bradley quite literally can't get on that level, so it's no surprise he's this bitter, really. What's he supposed to do? He'll never have it in him to apologize for his salt because there's absolutely no reason to in his eyes. He simply doesn't care if other people are sad or hurt by his words, and not even voluntarily so: He believes he's right and doesn't grasp why people don't get him, which may just be because he's so emotional - and less rational - about it... and when he’s generally the quiet-ish grump who's not too bad but also just never quite the friend that genuinely cares about you as a person because he's just this apathetic, any emotional reaction you get out of him is immediately rendered an uncalled-for outburst. Not saying everyone else is awful to get mad at him, because I can't really blame them at all with how much of a jerk he actually comes off as (and him trying to explain is probably awkward phrasing in the "sorry but I don't actually care about your feelings, no offense" direction that immediately makes people get mad at him again), but don’t paint him as inherently awful. This is likely as hard for him as it is for everyone else, I’ve been there myself... but yeah. So much for that.

- The crossover and its aftermath

Needless to say, I was pretty disappointed by most of the second half of season one when it came to Bradley’s screentime, especially since he’d been such a prominent character early on. So when the crossover came around and he got that plant arm, I was like - great! A physical difference to go along with his mental issues and to give him even more reasons to get a little character arc and a push towards morally darker gray areas! This isn’t something they can ignore anymore, right?

Ha. Sure.

It was bad enough that in those first few episodes after the crossover, he had that arm and it was never brought up by either him or anyone else. And then we did get people acknowledging it exists - but it was either treated as a joke or, worse, something to “get over”.

Where do I even begin.

- Yeah, how about no

It’s bad enough that the writers confirmed they only added the plant arm because “it’s funny” - not because “hey, let’s give our main antagonist kid a visible reason to have an arc” or anything in a remotely decent direction. It’s worse that most of the viewers apparently agree, because I’ve hardly heard a negative comment on the matter over the course of these last few episodes. But seriously - how am I supposed to enjoy this (honestly great amount of) screentime Bradley’s been getting lately when all he’s reduced to is the comedic relief? Make Chad and his supernatural antics the hilarious one for all I care, but don’t use the kid who very clearly has physical (and mental) issues whether you actually headcanon him as having anything specific or not. All I got to see in these last episodes is Bradley rightfully pointing out his arm (Milo’s World, Ride Along Little Doggie), him being legitimately upset (The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club), or him honestly just being in the episode altogether (First Impressions), only to have other - main - characters make fun of, or belittle, or get mad at him and have them be portrayed as “in the right” with not a single ounce of sympathy for Bradley whatsoever. As for First Impressions: I’ve been that (autistic) kid excited for the first day of school but not getting in in time. It’s horrible. (Though I’m willing to let this one slide because it reasonably builds up his strong dislike for Milo)

- On an episode in particular

For what it’s worth, The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club isn’t all bad. Hardly an episode is. But it’s easily the most painful to watch for me, for numerous reasons. And that includes certain fandom reactions I’ve witnessed.

Carla. However hilarious or weird (or both) you or the characters may find this, he clearly doesn’t. Even if the writers only added it as a joke to begin with - I’ve had similar experiences myself. I’ve been in Bradley’s position, and sure, I can’t blame the characters for, initially, belittling him for this stuff. But for the love of all the gods I believe in, don’t just completely ignore the distress he’s going through and change the topic like that (while he’s still in the middle of the breakdown, no less). I expected better at least from Milo or Mort.

Zack’s “character development”. In any other situation, I might have appreciated Zack’s talk about feeling like being in Milo’s shadow. But not only is this literally what Bradley was supposed to be about this whole time - Zack immediately gets reassurance and comfort by the other characters. The best Bradley ever got was rude comments on being uncalled for. Goes right along with:

Only the good guys deserve happiness, apparently. Whenever Murphy’s Law does its thing and someone has an issue with it, Melissa and the others are quick to comment on how it isn’t Milo’s fault and whoever has the issue is clearly just being rude and uncalled for. Whenever Bradley does something mildly unpleasant, the very same characters get mad at him and are portrayed as being in the right. As people have pointed out before, Milo and Bradley aren’t all that fundamentally different - but because Milo is the protagonist (tm) and, in-universe, nice to people and (as I’ve heard) adorable, people treat him well enough, while it’s apparently the right thing to be awful to Bradley, because he’s the antagonist(/comedic relief) and not the nicest person around. (For the record, I like Milo and appreciate how supportive people are of his issues. It’s just the jarring contrast with Bradley’s treatment that bothers me.)

Bradley’s “character development”. It’s been a thing I’ve read about regarding this episode and that’s apparently been getting quite a bit of acknowledgement. And sorry, but what? Randomly making Bradley a nice guy who doesn’t mind being around Milo & Co isn’t “character development”. More likely than anything, it’s “oh no, we have three episodes left and can’t have any relevant-ish character not like Milo before this is over, but we don’t have enough time to even half-ass Bradley’s “arc” so let’s just make him be nice for the sake of this montage”. It’s more of a disservice to the kid than anything, especially when in this season in particular, pretty much nobody was nice to him, ever.

- What I’m getting at (took a while, I know)

I’m basically Bradley, for what it’s worth. Whether he intentionally has to deal with the switch or not, his portrayal is incredibly similar to what I’m like, socially and otherwise. Seeing him treated like this for episodes on end is absolutely horrible for me. And I’m an adult who dares believe they figured out their mind for the most part - what about kids? Actual kids (like me ages ago, who only learned about autism to begin with because of really liking Ferb and finding an autism-related post about him) who can relate to Bradley as much as I do because they’ve been there themselves, only for the Good Guys to treat him like this? Even if you ignore all this semi-projection-based talk about mental disorders, his plant arm is still very real and as much of a handicap as anything. It doesn’t matter that the creators added it (and Carla, and probably Bradley’s other antics) as a joke, there are people out there for whom this is anything but that. They deserve happiness as much as anyone, no matter if they’re not the nicest people around (unless, of course, they have really problematic views, but Bradley is far from entering that territory). If anything, they deserve people at least attempting to understand where they’re coming from - and writers who treat even the protagonist’s foil as more than just a joke.

(Disclaimer: No, I’m not saying nobody should call Bradley out when he’s being rude. Even things like the switch only explain his behavior and don’t completely excuse it - he should have to feel the consequences of his actions as much as anyone. But right now, nobody is making any attempt to help him change for the better; they’re making everything far worse, if anything. An episode of Milo, or Mort, or anyone really, actually being willing to so much as listen to his side of the story... that’s all it takes. And can’t be that hard to pull off, can it?) 

But since I’m already talking about this kind of stuff:

- And Elliot, too

If only Bradley was the only one. I’m not gonna say anything against Elliot being a jerk (World Without Milo did a good job portraying him in that regard), but even he deserves better than this. I’m talking, of course, about Safety First, in which Elliot has something I can only describe as PTSD, complete with a trigger word and everything. I will admit I haven’t seen the episode since it aired (and am not planning on doing so again), but man. It’s obvious enough how much the trigger word aspect was used as a joke, but then apparently we learn that you can just randomly be cured of your trauma in a few effortless minutes. How nice to know for a few people I know.

- The bottom line

I have plenty of issues with MML when it comes to plot, or pacing, or humor (which, maybe, deserve their own posts eventually). But this right here is by far my biggest problem of them all. Sure, it’s a show for kids, and sure, you aren’t supposed to take something with this kinda premise super seriously - but that doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects that should be. Whether the creators are aware of how their characters come across or not, there are parts even they should know not to be this disrespectful about. And maybe I could get over things like Carla on their own, but when so many little aspects are condensed into a single character, it really stops being something I can ignore. Especially when the characters interacting with him display such infuriating Protagonist-Centered Morality, and even more especially when it’s related to issues that could really use some proper representation in the media anyway, particularly in shows for this kind of audience.

I’m not saying this because I don’t care about the show (and could’ve stopped watching it easily if I have so many problems with it), it’s because I do. I know these people can produce fantastic content, P&F is a prime example. The first few episodes of MML are, too. But after that, it all kind of falls apart for me, with some gems here and there. And yet I still care about these characters (certain ones, anyway), and carry the hope that they will at some point get the treatment they deserve. Until then, I’ll be here writing fics to take care of that when the show fails to - you’re free to ask me about them if you’re interested, for that matter. 

Thanks for reading, if you made it this far. Complain about my opinion all you want, I know it’s such a jarring wave of negativity in a fandom that’s hardly used to that - but hey. Someone’s gotta be the Bradley here. In more ways than most people with any relation to MML are comfortable with.

Take it or leave it.

[themurphyzone]

Secret Santa Ch 5

LOL I couldn’t resist the Milanda I hope you’re happy.

Ch 5- Lydia

It wasn’t that she hated Bradley. She just held a really, really, really strong dislike to his sour attitude toward everything.

“Do you want to work on page two or page four of the packet?” Lydia asked. “I don’t mind taking the short answer if you want the multiple choice, then you can look over what I wrote when you’re done.”

“I’ll take the short answer,” Bradley said, not looking up from the answer. “I can never read your writing because it’s so sloppy.”

It took all of Lydia’s self-control to not screech at the bluntness of that statement. Even if she heard it from Amanda a million times before. At least she was nice about it though.

Before she could put too much thought into it, there was a loud pop by the door. The pencil sharpener broke off the wall, sending a cloud of shavings in Milo’s face. “Sorry!” he called out.

Bradley rolled his eyes. “This is what he gets for not switching to mechanical.”

Lydia pushed her pencil against the paper hard enough to snap the lead.

“You’ve procrastinated on this long enough,” Amanda said, pacing around Lydia’s bedroom. “You are coming up with that gift idea right now. And there will be no foreign dramas, no musical theater, and no recruiting for the next school production until you have that idea. Am I clear?”

Lydia pushed a pillow against her face, refusing to see anything but the comfort of darkness. “No.”

She felt something fluffy and soft smack her on the bottom.

“You are to think, breathe, and sweat gift ideas until I say otherwise,” Amanda said.

Lydia groaned and flipped over so she could see Amanda clicking her pen as she waited.

“To free up your motor functions, you’ll think and I’ll write the list,” Amanda explained.

And so the most painful half-hour of her too-short life had dawned upon her with the force of a thousand burning suns.

“Scented candles, not too heavy but not too light,” Lydia said. “Ones that perk the senses, but not enough to overwhelm.”

Amanda finally set the pen aside, her eyes flicking as she scanned the list. “Lydia, these are all things you like,” she sighed. “We don’t know for sure if Bradley likes scented candles, various Broadway soundtracks, Love Handel, or I quote ‘the cute boy with the braces in the third row of Mrs. White’s class’.”

Drawing her knees up to her chest, Lydia pouted. “What? Chad’s cute. And I’m not the only one who has a thing for boys who have a penchant for finding trouble.”

“We are focusing on gift ideas for Bradley!” Amanda said furiously. “Don’t change the subject!”

“Wait, I have a brilliant idea!” Lydia exclaimed, grabbing her phone. “This isn’t over, by the way.”

Lydia 4:32 pm

I need your help stat

Her phone buzzed a few minutes later.

Melissa 4:36 pm

I HAVE A MILO YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN A HUMAN SIZED GIFT BOX

Lydia fell against her pillow, ignoring Amanda’s disapproval of the only idea she had.

“What? You ruled out all my other options. I’m allowed a last resort.”

She had zero luck in figuring out what Bradley liked. He spent all of second period sulking while Mrs. Murawski attempted to polish her desk and teach the class the carbon cycle at the same time.

Lydia heard the stories of Bradley’s inexplicable attraction to the self-serve ice cream machine on the yacht. While she hadn’t witnessed his flirting firsthand, she had seen Mort emerge from one of the lower rooms while hauling Bradley up, both covered in melted strawberry ice cream and rainbow sprinkles.

As she walked down the hall to her locker, she was too engrossed in her thoughts to notice where she was going. Her head slammed into something hard and metallic, and she fell on her back, groaning in pain.

When her vision cleared, she found Milo kneeling beside her on the floor. “Lydia, I’m so sorry!” he said quickly. “What’s your full name? How many fingers am I holding up? Where were you on the night of May 23rd?”

The hit hadn’t been hard enough to give her a concussion at least. “Lydia Brooks,” she said, the throbbing settling into a dull ache. “Holding up three fingers, and May 23rd is my older cousin’s birthday, so probably out celebrating at a restaurant.”

“Okay, you pass,” Milo said, helping her up with a grin. “Though I could’ve sworn it was two fingers.”

Lydia poked the masking tape wrapped around the fingers on Milo’s right hand. “Your pinky is in there too. Didn’t notice?”

“No, I guess I didn’t,” Milo chuckled. “So, about that gift box-“

“I wasn’t planning on texting Melissa to meet me in the theater room so I could substitute a tuba case for the gift box! What makes you think that?” Lydia laughed nervously.

“You know you don’t need to resort to illegal methods to obtain your Secret Santa present, right?” Milo asked. “Besides, it wouldn’t have worked anyway since Melissa’s standing right behind you.”

“What?” Lydia shrieked, turning around to find herself face to face with Melissa. “Hey girl! What’s up? Um, so about the whole gift box thing, I was joking! Just a silly inside joke between me and Amanda, so we cool?”

She finished with an awkward grin.

Melissa had brought her best unimpressed face to the conversation. And Lydia was no match for it.

“Okay, I admit it! You caught me! I need help!” Lydia clung to Milo’s sweatervest, sinking to her knees in desperation. “And I’m not talking about professional help here!”

“Relax,” Melissa said. “I just so happen to have the seat next to Bradley in computer lab. Did you know he likes to look up kittens on the Internet? Guess he has a soft spot for animals.”

Lydia nodded. “So I can just get him a card with a kitten and maybe a cat pun! Thanks, you’re the best! And the tuba case in the theater room? I don’t know what I was thinking with that! Jeez, you’d think the president of the theater club would have a level head!”

“Yeah, you’d think,” Melissa said dryly.

“Perfect,” Bradley grumbled. “This is how I always wanted to go out. Trapped behind the bleachers by an overturned parade float of an obscure band alongside a theater kid.”

Lydia tried to push the paper mache aside, her feet scrabbling against the concrete. When that didn’t work, she tried checking for a gap at both ends. Unfortunately, her phone had died a few minutes ago so she had no flashlight to check for spaces large enough to peer through.

“Quit being so dramatic,” Lydia snapped. “Do you have any of our classmates’ numbers in your phone? Besides, Milo’s there. He’ll get us out.”

She knew Bradley was rolling her eyes at her even if she couldn’t see him that well. “I texted Melissa. She said Milo is busy trying to get the crowbar away from a mischievous capuchin monkey. Figures. We’re completely reliant on the most dangerous kid on Earth.”

“Maybe we wouldn’t be so reliant on them if you didn’t just sit there moping about it,” Lydia growled. “And what beef do you have with Milo? Just because Murphy’s Law happens from time to time doesn’t mean it’s the culprit behind every little bit of bad luck.”

“Let me think,” Bradley shot back. “What caused us to be stuck on the deserted island? What caused the sentient blob the day we had Mrs. Baxter? But most importantly, what caused Carla’s destruction?”

Lydia didn’t reply.

“Murphy’s Law! And by extension, Milo!” Bradley declared. “If it hadn’t been for him, then Carla would still be bolted to the wall!”

Wait. Lydia had been expecting him to focus on Milo, not have a fixation on a machine. There was something seriously wrong here.

And then it hit her.

He was lonely. Guy seriously needed a break.

Truth be told, she was starting to feel bad for mocking the Carla incident behind his back.

She was going to feel awkward for this, but there weren’t enough people around to make her embarrassed. “Hey, I’m really-“

A soft cry interrupted her.

She glanced around, though unable to see much. To her surprise, Bradley stood up, his phone light on to serve as a flashlight. He motioned for her to keep quiet, and she nodded, listening carefully for any more sounds.

A louder cry sounded from beneath a low hanging beam.

Bradley angled his phone light down, the beam falling upon a small, ruffled kitten with a dark gray coat. The kitten mewed again and rubbed up against Bradley’s leg. Lydia clutched a steel beam, trying her best not to faint from the cutest kitten she’d ever seen in her life.

To her surprise, Bradley bent down and picked the kitten up. “Are you lost, kitty?” he asked softly. His voice lacked the sharp edge she had grown accustomed to, and she almost fell over in shock.

The kitten wriggled and twisted, before resting her head in the crook of his elbow. Her amber eyes blinked up at Bradley.

If someone told her that Bradley was a cat lover a week ago, she would’ve laughed in their face. Heck, earlier she was only using it to her advantage because it was the only gift idea she thought Bradley wouldn’t completely treat with a hundred percent contempt.

And even then ‘get something with cats’ was a bit vague.

A grinding noise sounded from the side of the parade float, breaking the kitten out of her relaxed state. She mewed frantically while Bradley gently stroked the top of her head to calm her down.

The truck shifted enough to allow them space to squeeze through, and they emerged to a round of cheers from their classmates. Milo’s hair was messed up and half of his sleeve was missing, but like everyone else he was happy to see them safe and sound.

“Sorry, it took so long,” Milo said. “A capuchin monkey stole my crowbar. Then Zack activated the confetti cannons and it blasted Chad in the face so we had to calm him down while he ran around in circles.”

Over to the side, Chad was clutching his left eye. “I can still feel the paper,” he muttered.

“Where did the kitten come from?” Melissa asked. She was one of the few girls who hadn’t crowded around Bradley to get a better look at the kitten in his arms.

“She’s a stray,” Lydia replied. “Took an instant liking to Bradley too. They just clicked.”

Melissa nudged her. “Just squeal to high heaven about the cuteness already.”

Lydia shrugged. “Not right now. I need time to think for my dramatic monologue. These things take practice.”

The discovery of the kitten had put Bradley in such a good mood that he didn’t protest Milo stroking her fur. “Are you keeping her?” he asked. “She’s a total cutie!”

“I’m not heartless. What do you take me for?” Bradley rolled his eyes. “Besides, my parents were already considering letting me adopt a cat.”

Milo grinned. “That’s great! Early Christmas presents are the best! Especially when they’re unexpected.”

“So what are you planning to call her?” Lydia asked.

Bradley looked down at the kitten, who stretched and nuzzled his face. “Pepper,” he said.

Everyone stared at him.

“What? You people can’t seriously expect me to name everything Carla.”

The next day, Lydia bought a red bow and a card that had a cute picture of two kittens chilling in a stocking above the fireplace.

She was confident Pepper would have a loving home. Seriously, whoever could butter Bradley up by merely existing had some major points in her book.

[mysteriesofmilo]

Shipping Tournament

A while back I teased a shipping tournament for Milo Murphy's Law. But since then I have decided that we will do one for Phineas and Ferb as well. So I have some questions about which ships should be in the tournament, and whether I should do two separate tournaments or combine them into one. Note that I am not counting alternate dimensions, timelines, or other realities unless they are significantly different from their counterparts or specifically requested:

The following 21 PnF ships WILL be in the tournament:

Baljeet x Ginger

Baljeet x Isabella

Baljeet x Mishti

Baljeet x Wendy Stinglehopper

Bob x Tiana Webber

Buford x Brigitte

Clyde x Betty Jo Flynn (grandparents)

Coltrane x Stacy

Ferb x Vanessa

2D Heinz x 2D Charlene

Heinz x his date (Chez Platypus)

Jeremy x Candace

Johnny x Vanessa

Lawrence x Linda

Monty x Vanessa

Norm x Chloe

Phineas x Isabella (normal)

Phineas of Tatooine x Pilot Isabella (Star Wars, by request)

Phineas x Princess Isabella (China)

Reginald x Winifred Fletcher (grandparents)

Roger x Melanie

And the following 17 MML ships WILL be in the tournament:

Bradley x Carla

Bradley x Melissa

Brick x Savannah

Cavendish x Hildegard

Dakota x Cavendish (by request)

Dakota x Savannah

Diogee x Pio (poodle)

Ms. Murawski x her desk

Grandma x Grandpa Murphy

Joey x Laura Murphy

Martin x Bridgette Murphy

Melissa x Amanda (by request)

Milo x Amanda

Neal x Sara

Scott x Mildred

Zack x Jackie

Zack x Melissa

Vote here: https://forms.gle/HVABjNv3xudYq3XZ7

View the MML characters page here: https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Characters

And view the PnF characters pages here: https://phineasandferb.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Characters

EDIT: Sorry to whoever voted in the songs tournament! I didn't see your response to the extra ships question, so I didn't count it. If you see this, please remember to vote again.

EDIT 2: Sorry! I meant to make the MML question checkboxes but I made it multiple choice by mistake! To make up for that, I've changed the settings so you can edit your response after submitting.

[samthecookielord]

Milo Murphy's Law but objects,,,

Milo is a backpack (he holds his backpack straps sometimes)

Zack is a guitar axe because CHOP CHOP CHOP

I.. Haven't figured out melissa yet but im open for suggestions zgfjgdsgrdgjfhs

Amanda is a clipboard

Bradley is an encyclopedia who falls in love with an actual object that isnt alive (similar to box from ii) which he calls Carla

Don't ask why Zack and Amanda got their own drawing while Milo and Bradley had to share axgnzbdxngshfxgn

Also elliot is definitely a stop sign. He might even be related to the legendary Sotp sign

And Brick is a brick for obvious reasons

Dunno bout Savannah though

And Cavendish is probably a top hat with goggles or something

Not sure about dakota

[themurphyzone]

Oneshot: Fashion Disaster

This one is very light on plot. It’s just stupid stuff happening XD

The entire class was stuck in Principal Milder’s office after the latest Murphy’s Law incident left their clothes half-soaked, half-eaten by moths. Milo’s sweatervest resembled less of a sweatervest and more like outdated fringe that was more reminiscent of square dancing parties. He shrugged it off though. He still had 22 at home. If Diogee showed up, maybe he’d bring one with him. 

“Right, so the Lost and Found box is being brought to the office now,” Principal Milder explained. “Since nobody has ever claimed lost items since the school’s founding, it’s doubtful they’d be claimed now so feel free to take whatever fits.”

“Just think of all the inspiration I could get from these outfits!” Lydia nudged Melissa, who groaned. 

“Lydia, if it’s anything like your last bout of inspiration, I would really appreciate not being used as a pin cushion for dresses with poofy sleeves,” Melissa replied. 

Lydia pouted. “You’re no fun!” 

“Can’t be as bad as when my mom first made the flannel outfits for the Lumberzacks,” Zack said, shuddering at the memory. “She called every band member over to take their measurements and after that Max snuck into my room and broke a cassette tape that had Love Handel on it. He still owes me a new one.” 

“Zack, nobody uses cassettes anymore,” Melissa said. 

Milo shrugged. “Vintage Sounds of Disaster can’t be beat. There is something very soothing and retro about cassette tapes.”

Zack frowned, crossing his legs only to uncross them moments later. “He still owes me. Okay, when’s that box getting here? Jeans and water don’t mix.”

“Or white for that matter,” Milo said, pointing to Melissa’s jacket, which was almost see through around the sleeves. Amanda hadn’t fared so well, but Milo was able to provide her with a thick blanket that she had completely hidden herself in. 

Poor girl had trouble handling Murphy’s Law when the problem occurred over an extended period of time instead of being a quick fix. 

Bradley’s hair flopped in his eyes, and he tossed it back in annoyance. “This reminds me painfully of when Mort was hosing the delicious stickiness of Carla off me. I’ll never forget the cold but comforting caress of her cream which tasted of springtime and strawberries, the sharp tang which hid a beautiful smile of orange sherbet, the vibrations as her thick cream poured out when I pulled her lever-”

Everyone slowly inched away from him. 

Even Principal Milder looked disturbed. “Maybe we should stage an intervention,” she muttered. 

“At least Mrs. Murawski spares us the details,” Melissa said awkwardly. “Most of the time.” 

The lost and found box arrived, wheeled in by Mr. Drako. “I found a few things from the Halloween party of 2007. You know, the one where Nolan got stuck in the apple bobbing tub.”

Principal Milder snickered. “Believe me, I still have the pictures. I can resort to blackmail if he ever dares challenge my supreme authority again.” 

Mort shifted nervously. “I think the creepy aura went from mottled black and purple gas to multi-tentacled ethereal monsters seeking to devour us all.”

“I would like it to devour me now, because that box is filled to the brim with gaudy Hawaiian shirts,” Zack gulped. 

Milo grinned. “It’s not so bad. I mean, does this overcoat remind you of anyone?” He held up a large, dark green coat that had obviously gone out of style. 

“Isn’t that Cavendish’s?” Melissa asked. “You know, never mind. I don’t want to know what your time traveling uncles were doing that resulted in one of their articles of clothing winding up here.” 

“Well, I’m sure he won’t mind me borrowing it,” Milo shrugged. “Oh, hey! Bell bottom pants! Anyone want these?” 

Everyone cowered and shook their heads from the hideous monstrosity that was the yellow and pink floral patterned bell bottom pants. Lydia swooned and fainted. 

“Okay, finders keepers rule applies here then,” Milo sing-songed, moving into the nearby bathroom to change. 

“Wait, he’s not-” 

“I think he is,” Melissa smirked. “I am so getting pictures of this later. Remind me to get Dakota’s number from Milo. There is no way he’s missing out on this fashion disaster.” 

“Cavendish, you gotta see this! Least we know your coat is in good hands now!” Dakota laughed. 

Cavendish looked up from his grumbling. “This better not be another memo, or whatever you call that ridiculous Internet thing.” His hand flew to his mouth in shock when he viewed the picture on the phone. “Dakota, my coat...Milo...that color....” 

“It’s hilarious!” Dakota snickered. “Right? Maybe I should try the bell bottom look.” 

Cavendish snatched the car keys off the desk. “This is a complete disaster, Dakota! Stop making a mockery of it! That boy’s outfit is a mess that we’ll have to fix now!”

“Wait, it’s the middle of the day. He’s still in class!” 

“I’ll claim it’s for a medical emergency!”