#careful i will ramble about my music opinions and will not hold back.... lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

davidpastrsnack · 4 years ago

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it’s crazy what you’ll do for a friend - nolan patrick

a/n: here’s a friends to lovers 4+1 with our fav boy loosely inspired by daddy issues by the neighbourhood. but there’s still a splash of smut because you know me lol. hope you enjoy :)

word count: 10.5k

The first time you met Nolan you didn’t know what to think. He was polite, giving you a gentle smile and reaching out to shake your hand, but you couldn’t help but fixate on how quiet he was and his seeming lack of emotion.

Regardless of your hesitation, that was the first time of many that Nolan took care of you.

You were new to Philadelphia, moving to continue your education and expand your horizons. You had always been one to play it safe, to stay in your comfort zone, but after having your heart broken and being unexpectedly accepted to one of the top graduate programs in your field you knew it was time to challenge yourself and leave behind everything you had ever known.

Well, almost everything, aside from Aubrey, one of your best friends since that first day of kindergarten so long ago. She worked in the city, practically begging you to join her when she found out you were considering the move. Just weeks later, the second bedroom in her apartment became yours and that’s how you met him.

one

It was only your third night in Philly and you were still unpacking, a glass of wine sitting on your dresser as you dug through the remaining boxes that were seemingly never-ending. It didn’t seem like this much stuff when you were packing it, but here you were overwhelmed with all of your belongings.

You were humming along to the music, taking it one box at a time as the room slowly came together when you heard a knock on your door.

“Come in,” you called, turning to face the door.

“Woah,” Aubrey muttered, “How’s it going in here?”

“I know, I know,” you laughed, “It looks bad but I’m almost there.”

She nodded, stepping into the room and sitting on your bed, “Time for a break?”

You knew what the hopeful smile on her face meant, she had plans for the two of you.

You looked at her with hesitant eyes and she chuckled, remembering how well you knew her.

“I was thinking we could go meet some of my friends?” Aubrey continued, “I’m kind of seeing this one guy and his friends are great. They’re a lot but I think you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”

“Aubrey, I-” You paused, “I really should finish up in here.”

“Come on, Y/N, we have all day tomorrow to finish and you need a break. I feel like I’ve barely even seen you and it’s been three days.”

You let out a laugh at her words, she was right. It felt like your life had been on hold for so long but now you had the opportunity to start fresh, to put yourself out there in a world that had no existing opinions of you.

“Fine,” you groaned, standing up from your spot on the hardwood, “But you have to help me find something to wear.”

“Deal!” Aubrey exclaimed, dragging you out of the room and into her own to go through her closet.

Just over an hour later, you were squeezed into a booth of the bar surrounded by men almost twice your size. Aubrey failed to mention that the guy she was seeing, but not dating as she vehemently claimed, was a Flyer and so were his friends.

You didn’t know what to expect from the group, but it didn’t take long for you to conclude that they were sweethearts, especially Travis, Aubrey’s “friend.” After introducing you to each of them, it felt like you had always been a part of the gang.

The beer and conversation were flowing, the bellowing laughs coming from the table practically feeling the air of the entire bar. You quickly fell into the banter, fitting in right away after growing up with brothers.

“There he is!” You suddenly heard Kevin shout from next to you, “Took you long enough, Patty.”

You looked up from your drink to see the man you could only assume to be Patty, his tall frame towering over you as you sat on the edge of the booth. He was dressed in all black, and his hair was long and frankly, unkempt as it curled around his ears. Even in the dim light of the bar, you could make out his light eyes, the blue piercing you as he finally met your gaze from his seat directly across from yours.

“Nolan, this is my friend Y/N,” Aubrey started, “She just moved in with me.”

Nolan reached out his hand across the table which you happily met, secretly hoping he couldn’t feel how clammy you had gotten since he walked in. He softly smiled as your hands touched, the corners of his mouth barely lifting but just enough.

“Nice to meet you,” he mumbled.

“You too,” you replied, flickering your eyes to the other end of the table before you caught yourself staring.

You were right away distracted by something Travis was chirping Claude for from this morning’s practice, but something about the man sitting just a few feet away from you was still consuming your thoughts.

You were pretty sure he had already decided that he didn’t like you. He had barely said a word aside from his initial pleasantries, but from then on it was almost like he wasn’t even acknowledging your presence. You didn’t know why you even cared, but there was something about his presence that made you on edge.

“I’m going to get another one,” you blurted out, everyone’s attention shifting to you.

“I’ll come with,” Aubrey declared.

“I’m good, stay,” you responded, giving her a knowing look. She was practically sitting in Travis’s lap, her hands wrapped around his neck while his eyes were stuck on her like she was the only one in the room. Not dating, my ass, you thought to yourself.

You slid off the cushion and headed towards the bar, the air already feeling lighter the further away from the group you got. You loved them, they were great, but it was just so much new at once. You needed a breather.

It was a packed Friday night and you knew it would be a while before you got your drink, so you sat down on the first available stool you saw. You caught the bartender's attention right away, but she was clearly swamped. You sent her a reassuring nod, telling her to take her time. She smiled right back at you, evidently grateful for your patience.

After what felt like barely a minute of waiting, you felt a body slide next to yours, the scent of cheap cologne overwhelming you as you braced yourself for what was about to happen.

“Hi there,” he spoke, leaning his weight against the bar top as he boxed you in.

“Hi,” you sighed. To put it simply, you were not in the mood.

“You got a name?”

“I do,” you chuckled in disbelief, turning your body away from his as your eyes scanned the room for anyone familiar. Which of course there wasn’t.

“A snappy one, alright,” he spoke, his hot breath fanning over your neck, “Well I’m Brett, what are you drinking?”

“Nothing,” you snapped.

“Oh c’mon, let me buy you a drink,” he continued, either not picking up on your hints or purposely ignoring them.

“I’m really all set.”

Just before he was about to open his mouth to speak once again, you felt his hand rest flat against your back, your body arching away from him immediately at the contact.

“Do not fucking touch her.”

The deep voice echoed in front of you, your vision clouded as your mind raced in a million directions.

“Listen, man, I got this.”

“No, I don’t think you do,” you heard, the vibrations of his voice running straight through your body.

Nolan.

You may have just met him, but that was a body and voice you couldn’t forget.

You had no idea what overcame you, but before you could process what you were doing you wrapped your arms around his torso. Nolan immediately reciprocated, his arm falling across your shoulders and pulling you close to his frame.

“Just leave,” Nolan asserted, “Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be. It’s already embarrassing enough that you can’t take no for an answer.”

Your body relaxed against his, Nolan’s words calming your worst fears right away. From your vantage point, you assumed Nolan easily had at least six inches and thirty pounds on him. That seemed to be enough for him, backing away with a faulty glare and disappearing into the crowd.

“Nolan, I-” you stuttered, not knowing what to say, “Thank you,” you finally got out, your voice barely loud enough to hear over the hum of voices.

“Don’t mention it,” he muttered, his aura still cold.

You were so caught up in the shock of the moment that you hadn’t realized you were still holding each other, and right away you dropped your arm from his waist. Nolan did the same, awkwardly moving to sit on the stool next to you and flag the bartender.

You missed the warmth of his body right away, the spicy scent of his skin in stark contrast to the Axe you could only assume the other one was wearing. You swore you could still feel the ripple of his abs beneath his t-shirt on your fingertips. It was silent for a minute, both of you trying to come up with the right words.

“I really can’t thank you enough. Let me buy this round,” you pleaded, your eyes locking with his.

“Y/N,” Nolan started, your face flushing as your name fell from his lips, “I’m buying.”

You smiled up at him, nodding before looking back down in hopes of hiding the flush you felt creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks.

“Can I be honest, Nolan?” You questioned.

“Shoot.”

“Do you not like me? Did I do something? I wasn’t expecting that from you of all people-” you rambled until Nolan cut you off.

“First of all, I would have done that even if I hated you. But no, I like you, Y/N. A friend of a friend of TK’s is a friend of mine.”

You laughed at the last part before you could even process the first. Nolan’s cheeks went red, clearly embarrassed at his cliché phrasing but it didn’t matter how badly he made a fool of himself as long as you were smiling. The way your eyes scrunched and your nose turned up while you laughed was enough to make him forget the day he had.

Your laughter was interrupted by your drinks, the woman leaving you with a knowing smile before she turned away. Nolan and you both stood up ready to head back to the table before he stopped you.

“Friends?” He asked, putting his hand out in front of himself.

“Friends,” you agreed with a grin, shaking his hand before walking back to the group together.

two

You dreaded first days.

No matter how old you got, the anxiety of walking into an unfamiliar room full of unfamiliar faces never lessened. But you were ready, you reminded yourself, putting your head up and walking to the classroom like you had been there a hundred times before.

By the time you were walking out after the 90 minutes were up, your heart was pounding and you could feel the tears pricking the back of your eyes as you ran out of the building, not even bothering to introduce yourself to anyone.

The walk from the university back to your apartment was a blur. You couldn’t believe you had made such a poor first impression. You thought you were prepared, you had your notebook ready and all the right textbooks in order, but you somehow missed that there was an assignment due on the very first day.

As you rushed through the busy streets of the city, dodging people left and right, your mind raced back to that room.

“Ms. Y/L/N, can you please give your thoughts on the first case study?” Your professor questioned, intently watching you as your panic set in.

Your heart began to race and your palms sweat as you struggled to find the words to say that you hadn’t done the reading. This had never happened to you before, you were an A+ student for your entire life, almost unhealthily so. You couldn’t remember the last time you had missed an assignment, it just wasn’t something you did.

“Alright, then. Anyone else who actually checked the syllabus have something to say?”

Your professor's words were stuck in your head, playing over and over again when you finally reached your building. Now that you were so close to being in the comfort of your own space you could feel your wheels spinning, the stress and emotion overtaking your body.

Your hands shook as you tried to unlock the door, your body pushing through the threshold when you finally got it open.

“Aubrey?” You called as you walked through the hallway. She had known you for so long and always knew what to do to calm you down. But instead of Aubrey’s bright voice welcoming you back, you were met with silence.

“Where are you?” You muttered under your breath, your voice shaking as the tears threatened to spill over any second. As you turned the corner into the living room, you found three bodies spread across the couch, none of whom belonged to Aubrey.

“Oh,” you sputtered out, surprised to see Travis, Kevin, and Nolan watching a game.

“Y/N!” Travis called out, his infectious smile almost making your tight-lipped frown fade, “Aubrey just ran out for something but she should be back soon.”

You could feel Nolan’s gaze burning into you. You did your best to avoid his eye contact in hopes of hiding your current state from him. He had been nothing but kind to you, but you still felt so exposed standing in front of him, suddenly insecure about your outfit.

“I’m just going to go,” you whispered, pointing down the hall to your room. You felt horrible just ignoring them like that, but you knew you didn’t have it in you to keep up with them right now.

Your bag fell out of your hands almost instantly as soon as the door to your room clicked shut, the sound of your laptop hitting the hardwood floor making you cringe. You collapsed on your bed face first, the emotion you had been holding back for what felt like forever overwhelming you. Your body wracked in sobs as you replayed your embarrassment in a seemingly endless loop.

Nolan knew something was wrong the second he saw you. He may have only met you just a few days ago, but after growing up with two sisters he recognized the signs right away. He had no idea what was wrong, but he did know that you were barely holding it together.

Your head snapped up when you heard a series of soft knocks on your door, “Aubrey?” You asked, your voice rising with hope.

“No, uh, it’s Nolan.”

Your face fell when you heard his deep voice through the wood. You barely knew Nolan, he couldn’t see you like this. You paused for a moment wondering if he would just leave if you didn’t respond, but you could see his shadow through the bottom crack of your door, his feet were planted and didn’t show any signs of moving any time soon.

You silently groaned and picked yourself up, not even bothering to look in the mirror before opening the door because you knew it was not going to a pretty sight regardless. You hastily wiped underneath your eyes, the black of your mascara flaking right off your tear-stained skin. This wasn’t exactly how you wanted the new boy in your life to see you right after meeting you, but you just were friends, right?

“What, Nolan?” You sighed when you finally opened the door.

You didn’t mean to be so stark, but it just came out. His presence overwhelmed you just like it had at the bar a few nights ago. He was leaning against the door frame with his hands tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. The backward hat resting atop his head flattered him perfectly, drawing attention to the tufts of his brown hair curling around his ears and neck.

Nolan stood up straight as soon as he saw you, his eyes softening when his suspicions were confirmed: you had been crying.

“I just wanted to check on you,” he mumbled, his eyes never leaving your own.

The tension in your shoulders released as you looked up at him. He didn’t say anything else, just tilting his head down towards you as he continued to scan your face for any signs of how you were feeling. You couldn’t pinpoint it, but there was something about Nolan that made you feel so safe, so secure, like as long as you were with him you could avoid your demons.

“I’m fine,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

“No you’re not,” Nolan rebutted, raising his eyebrows as if he was challenging you to lie to him again.

You didn’t say anything, but rather you moved your body to the side and ushered him into your room. Nolan happily obliged, awkwardly standing as he took in his surroundings. Your room was just as he expected, it was minimal, just like his. You didn’t like clutter, everything had a place. It was one way you tried to control the chaos that was your life.

“You can sit,” you spoke, breaking the silence.

Nolan nodded and sat next to you at the foot of the bed. You couldn’t help but let your eyes trail along his leg, the way his thighs stretched the fabric of his sweatpants making your cheeks flush.

“It was my first day at this new program I’m in and it didn’t go well, that’s all,” you finally sputtered out, staring down at your lap as your hands fidgeted. “I’ve never been good at first impressions,” you added, a gentle laugh escaping your lip as you thought back to your first time meeting Nolan.

“Listen, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Nolan encouraged, “You seem like a pretty great person.”

You scoffed at his attempt to make you feel better, your emotions creeping their way back into your head.

“It was-” you paused, using every fiber within your being to try not to lose it in front of him, “It was bad.”

“C’mere,” Nolan whispered, turning on the bed to face you more and opening his arms, practically begging for your embrace.

You shook your head, closing your eyes as the fresh tears started burning. You were so selective in who you exposed your most vulnerable state to, and you barely knew Nolan. But despite this, you felt such an instant connection with him, and if his overt kindness was any indication, he felt the same way.

You let your final guard down, leaning back and curling into Nolan’s frame. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against him as one hand moved up to your head to rub soft circles into your hair.

“Go ahead and cry,” he hummed, his body gently rocking you back and forth.

You melted at his touch, your head nuzzling into the crook of his neck, the muted orange of his Flyers hoodie the last thing you saw before your eyes shut in sobs. His scent was overwhelming, the mix of his body wash and the leftover cologne lingering on his hoodie flooding your senses. You felt as if you disappeared in his grasp, like the world around you vanished and nothing else mattered.

You didn’t even know how much time had passed, but Nolan didn’t move an inch. He held you like it was the only thing he had to do all day. Once the tears stopped falling and your breathing steadied, you pulled back, instantly flooded with embarrassment.

“Wow,” you chuckled, wiping your cheeks, “I am so sorry, Nolan, I don’t know what happened I just-”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, “We’re friends, remember?” He teased, the corners of his mouth lifting in a gentle smile as he bumped your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you laughed.

“I think we were planning on grabbing some food,” Nolan mumbled, his hand scratching the back of his neck as he spoke, “If you want to come.”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

“Come on, you’re coming. If I have to put up with those two out there so do you.”

You rolled your eyes, but it was the least you could do after what he had just done for you.

“Give me five minutes to look less dead.”

Nolan smiled as you agreed, slipping out of the room so you could change and freshen up.

“What the fuck was that?” Nolan was bombarded by Kevin as he sat back down.

“Nothing,” Nolan mumbled, not in the mood to be questioned about things he didn’t even know the answer to.

“She let you go in there?” Aubrey asked, just having gotten back.

“Yes?” He responded, confused by her question.

Aubrey didn’t bother getting into it and changed the subject instead, but inside she was scheming. She knew you, how closed off you were, but here you were opening up to Nolan like you’ve known him for years. Nothing made Aubrey happier than watching this friendship bloom, and she couldn’t help but wonder if there was potential for more.

three

Team galas usually didn’t bother Nolan, it was part of the job, but tonight it was the last place he wanted to be. His tux felt too tight, the stuffy conversation with potential sponsors was putting him to sleep, and his date was, to be frank, insufferable.

Nolan had no problem going to an event without a plus one, he and TK were usually the two single guys spending their time causing trouble, but now that Aubrey was in the picture Kevin had decided he had seen enough. So, despite Nolan begging him to leave him alone, Kevin set him up with one of his friends from Boston.

She was just as Kevin described, beautiful and smart, but that was about all. Nolan was calm and reserved, at least until he was comfortable with someone, but she was the complete opposite. Her personality filled the entire room and although he admired her confidence, Nolan was exhausted. He felt like he couldn’t be himself, like he had to work to match her energy.

After what felt like hours of entertaining her and Kevin, Nolan made his escape to the bar. It was the first moment to himself he had, the relief immediately flooding him as he leaned against the counter. He titled his glass to the bartender, silently requesting a refill when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his suit pants.

Nolan begrudgingly pulled the phone, wondering who it could possibly be. The entire team was with him and it was unlike his family to call him on a Saturday night. But when he saw your name flashing across the screen, his whole demeanor shifted.

“Nolan!” He heard you exclaim, your voice like a breath of fresh air.

“Y/N?” He questioned. You had never called him out of the blue like this before. Nolan nodded to the bartender thanking him before taking his drink and walking out to the empty hallway so he could hear you better. “Everything okay?”

It wasn’t really. You had just come back home from a date, one Aubrey practically forced you to go on. You pleaded to her that you were fine, that you weren’t ready to start dating in the city yet, but regardless, you found yourself sitting across from one of her coworkers at a restaurant downtown.

There was nothing wrong with him, he was nice, but it was evident to you before your drinks were even ordered that this wasn’t going to work. You pushed through the meal, putting on your best fake smile and pretending to laugh at his forced humor. You politely declined his offer to walk you home, instead opting to get an Uber so you could get out of your dress as soon as possible.

Now you were home, your sweats on and hair up with a glass of wine in your hand. The glass quickly turned into almost the entire bottle, drowning your sorrows of another failed date with your favorite red. That’s when you made the mistake of picking up your phone, your fingers scrolling through your contacts until you found the one name you knew would be able to distract you.

“I’m great. I mean I’m not, but it’s fine,” you rambled, your words slurred as you spoke.

For once it was you mumbling and not Nolan. He didn’t know what, but his gut was telling him that something was wrong, he could practically smell the alcohol on your tongue through the phone. After a long pause of trying to figure out what to say, his thoughts were interrupted.

“Come over?” You whispered, “I’m so sick of being alone.”

Nolan’s heart dropped at your words, his eyes blinking shut as he pondered his next move. His eyes scanned the ballroom, finally landing on his date. She was sitting at their table, Nolan’s empty seat sticking out like a sore thumb, laughing at whatever story of his college days Kevin was regurgitating. He would feel like an ass if he just left, and he would be lying if he said the prospect of an easy lay hadn’t crossed his mind tonight, but you were more important.

“Give me twenty.”

Since calling Nolan you had migrated from your bed to the couch, a blanket sprawled across your body while you laid horizontal. The only light in the room was from the TV as one of your comfort movies played. You were barely paying attention, instead zoning out and staring at the lit-up city around you from the window.

Your mindless thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks on the door. You threw the blanket off of your body and stood up, slowly dragging your feet across the hardwood as you made your way. But you were nowhere near prepared for what you saw as soon as you opened the door.

Nolan towered over you in the door frame. He was wearing a suit, the soft, grey fabric clinging to his thighs and shoulders perfectly. His long hair was slicked back and tucked behind his ears. The scent of his cologne overwhelmed you instantly, the warm aroma making you want to melt into him. One hand was resting in his pant pocket, while the other was carrying a take-out bag from one of your favorite spots.

“Hi,” Nolan quietly muttered, breaking the silence.

His deep voice broke the trance you were in, and that’s when the realization hit you.

“I completely forgot you guys had that thing tonight,” you blurted, the alcohol in your bloodstream clogging your train of thought, “I am so sorry. You have to go back, I feel horrible.”

Your hands came up to your face, hiding your embarrassment. How could you forget? You spent hours this morning helping Aubrey pick out her dress.

“Y/N,” Nolan cooed, his large hands gently pulling your own off of your face, “I’m here and I’m not leaving.”

Nolan didn’t let you get another word out before he was pushing past your body. He wasn’t even enjoying himself at the event and the last thing he wanted to do was go back.

It didn’t long for the two of you to finish the food, opting to head back to the couch and ignore the many empty containers for now.

“I’m never going on a date ever again,” you slurred, “I don’t even want to look at a man ever again.”

Despite trying to be quiet, Nolan couldn’t hide his chuckle. He had heard similar frustrations from his two sisters growing up. He had been around endless assholes throughout his life, he knew how exhausting it must have been to try to find a decent one.

“Can’t blame you,” he mumbled.

Your body slumped against the back of the couch, your eyes slipping shut as the wine and food started to lull you into a sleepy haze. Nolan scanned your face, a soft smile creeping onto his face as he watched your chest gently rise and fall with each breath. Before he could catch himself, he lifted his hand and pushed back the hair that had fallen in your face, tucking it behind your ear.

In that moment Nolan knew that he was fucked.

Never before had he dropped everything for a girl as he did for you tonight. But he also had never connected with someone like he did with you. You didn’t force him to be something he wasn’t, there was no pressure to put on an act. It just felt natural with you. But your words from just a few minutes before lingered in the back of his head. You made it clear that you weren’t looking for anything right now, it only took one miserable date to remind you of that. So Nolan pulled his hand away, trying to ignore the burning of your skin against his fingertips as they trailed across your soft cheek.

You were friends. Just friends.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but suddenly you felt yourself stir awake, your eyes peeling open to find yourself tucked into Nolan’s side. His body was warm below yours, his arm resting across your shoulders holding you in place as you lay against his chest. From your peripheral vision, you could see his suit jacket on one of the couch cushions, the soft material of his button-down rubbing on your cheek.

You had two options. You could either acknowledge that you awkwardly fell asleep on him in your drunken state, or you could pretend that you never woke up and continue to enjoy the comfort of his embrace.

Needless to say, you chose the latter.

But you must have dozed off again because the next time you woke up you were being carried into your bedroom. Your arms were wrapped tightly across Nolan’s neck, the tips of your fingers naturally lifting to twirl the tufts of his hair.

“Shhh, I got you,” Nolan whispered as he felt you move, just before he laid you down onto your bed, “I’ll be right back.”

Nolan hastily left the room, leaving you to bask in the memory of his warmth as your head fell back against your pillow. Within just a few seconds he was back, placing a cool glass of water on your nightstand table. But almost just as fast as he came back, he was leaving again.

“Stay,” you murmured, watching him pause at the outline of your door.

“I- I got the couch.”

“Okay,” you responded, trying to hide your disappointment.

Nolan visibly cringed the second your door was closed, his head falling to his lap once he sat down. He wanted nothing more than to climb into bed with you. The thought of holding you beneath the sheets and feeling your soft skin in contrast to his rough hands made him dizzy. But the last thing he wanted to do was make you uncomfortable. You weren’t sober enough to say he could stay, and there was no chance in hell Nolan was going to risk scaring you off. So he took the couch, laying across the cushions with his eyes locked on your door until his eyelids gave in to his exhaustion.

four

It was finally Friday, another week in the books.

Your classes were taking more out of you than you had expected, the hours of reading and note-taking blending together as you finally closed your last tab. You had no plans for the night, and you honestly couldn’t be happier about it. A hot shower, takeout, and falling asleep early encompassed your perfect night recently.

Just as you were about to get in the shower, you were distracted by your phone ringing. You picked it up, surprised to see it was Kevin calling.

“Hi, Kevin,” you spoke, a slight edge to your words. You adored Kevin, he was an absolute sweetheart, but sometimes you just didn’t have the patience.

“What are you doing tonight?”

You rolled your eyes at his question, “Nothing.”

“Incorrect, you’re coming over and hanging out with me and Pat.”

“I am?” You laughed, taken aback by Kevin’s forwardness.

“Teeks and Aubrey are coming too, come on, Y/N,” he continued.

You knew you weren’t getting out of this without a real excuse, no matter how much you wanted to stay in. You hadn’t seen Nolan since the night you embarrassed yourself, the cringe of drunk dialing him after a bad date had yet to escape your memory.

“What time?”

“Uh- Let’s say 7.”

“Alright, Kev. See you later,” you hung up the phone, throwing it back on your bed before getting in the shower.

As you approached the boys’ apartment door, it was quieter than you expected it to be. Aubrey said she was already with Travis and would meet you there, so you were arriving alone. You assumed they would already have been there by now, but you ignored the silence and knocked on the door.

Just a few seconds later, the door swung open and you were face to face with Nolan. Your eyes widened when you saw him, his sweatpants hanging low on his hips and his bare torso staring at you. You quickly composed yourself, using every ounce of self-control within you to avoid trailing your gaze across his broad shoulders and down his chest, the curves and divots of his abs making your mouth water.

“Sorry,” Nolan mumbled, his cheeks flushing even redder than they usually were, “I thought you were Kevin, he always forgets his keys. Come in.”

You followed Nolan into the apartment, the muscles of his back rippling as his arms swung. You sat down on the couch, awkwardly waiting while he disappeared into his room. He came back just a few seconds later, his body now hidden behind a wrinkly t-shirt.

“Where is everyone?” You questioned, your body stiff as Nolan relaxed into the cushion next to you.

“Not sure,” he mumbled, the red of his cheeks lingering, “Kev said you were coming with Aubrey?”

Your face scrunched in confusion, “He told me she was coming here with Travis.”

Nolan then pulled his phone out and started typing a message to Kevin, desperate to figure out where he was. For some reason being here with you alone was making him nervous, there was an awkward energy in the air that had never been there before.

Nolan was reaching for the TV remote, about to ask you if you wanted to put something on when his phone sounded.

Kevin: You’re welcome

Now it was Nolan’s turn to furrow his eyebrows, the boy even more confused by Kevin’s message.

Kevin: We couldn’t watch you two anymore please just do something

Kevin: I’ll be out all night

Kevin: Don’t forget protection!

Of course. Of course, this little miscommunication was, in fact, a setup. But the worst part was that Nolan knew Kevin was right. No matter how hard he tried, he had been pining over you since that very first night. And now here you two were in an empty apartment with enough sexual tension to last the year.

“No one’s coming, are they?” You broke the silence, snapping Nolan out of his trance.

He threw his phone to the side as a slight smile crept across his stern face, “Nope,” he chuckled.

If you thought there was tension before, it didn’t even compare to what you felt now. Since meeting Nolan you were under the impression that your secretly harbored feelings for him were just that, a secret, but apparently, you weren’t as subtle as you thought. This had Aubrey written all over it, and you knew Travis was under her spell and would do anything to help her, and bonus points for chirping Nolan simultaneously. It was the elephant in the room, your mutual feelings still not being spoken but you both knew you had been called out by the people who knew you best.

“What are you thinking about?” Nolan whispered, the rough hum of his voice sending chills down your spine.

You couldn’t get even a single word out, your thoughts and feelings jumbling in your mind. After all this time the perfect opportunity was finally handed to you on a silver platter, but you still couldn’t do it.

Nolan could sense your hesitation, your close proximity and sweet scent clouding his consciousness.

“I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about,” he murmured, turning his body so he was facing you.

Your eyes had yet to leave your lap, your focus stuck on the rip of your jeans. You jumped when you felt his warm touch on your lower thigh, the warmth of his calloused hands making your heart rate rise even though the thick denim. His size was intoxicating and he made you feel like putty as he leaned closer to you.

“Y/N,” Nolan mumbled, his voice deeper than ever before.

You finally lifted your gaze, turning your head up to look at him. His baby blue eyes were piercing yours, the contact lighting a fire within you. Every reasonable thought in your head was telling you to pull away, to grab your bag and politely excuse yourself. You weren’t ready for a relationship, you had barely put yourself back together after your last heartbreak and Philly was supposed to be different. But as you sat here, your face just inches away from Nolan’s, you gave in to your desire.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you connected your lips with his, immediately sighing in relief as his soft pout worked perfectly against you. You hastily swung your hips over and seated yourself on Nolan’s lap, an eager groan escaping him when your body rolled into his. His hands splayed across your hips, moving to circle your ass as he helped you grind deeper into his already hardening length.

Nolan trailed his lips down your jaw, nibbling and sucking on the plane of your neck. You knew he was leaving marks, but in the moment you couldn’t care less, the euphoria of his touch being the only comprehensive feeling.

“Please,” you whined, tightening your grip on his long locks, “Nolan.”

You couldn’t remember the last time someone had ignited you as Nolan had. He had barely even touched you and you were nearly certain you had already soaked through your panties, withering in his lap desperate for more.

“Now she has something to say,” Nolan teased, whispering into the shell of your ear. He gave you no warning before he was standing up, holding the back of your legs as you instinctually wrapped them around his waist.

Nolan gently tossed you on his bed, pausing to pull his shirt off before he was climbing on top of you. You were in a state of bliss, finally able to admire his frame shamelessly and without fear of getting caught. He continued to attack your neck, leaving mark after mark behind in his wake. You whimpered impatiently as his lips worked your sensitive skin, but Nolan was set on taking his time. He didn’t know if he would ever have you like this again and he was going to savor every second of it.

But you decided to take matters into your own hands, pushing his frame off of yours and pulling your sweater over your head. You grabbed Nolan’s face again, cupping both of his cheeks as your lips met again. He made quick work of your bra, unclasping it with ease behind your back and tossing it across the room.

“Fuck, you’re stunning,” he groaned, pausing to take you in. Your hair was splayed across the pillow, your cheeks flushed while your chest heaved up and down with heavy breathing. His praise went straight to your core, clenching around nothing as you grew more and more desperate for him.

Nolan wasted no more time, finally making his way down your torso before reaching the hem of your pants. His fingertips slowly ran beneath the fabric, stopping only to look up at you. Your eyes locked and you frantically nodded, understanding that he was waiting for your permission before continuing.

“Words, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your thigh, his order gentle but firm.

“Yes,” you breathed out, “Fuck, yes.”

Nolan did as you said, unzipping your jeans and sliding them down your legs. He almost lost his balance on the mattress when he saw you laying before him, the pink lace resting across your hips being the only thing keeping him from you. Nolan settled himself between your legs, hooking both of them over his shoulders as his hot breath fanned over your pussy.

Nolan placed a soft kiss to your lace-covered clit, basking in your reaction as you let out an embarrassingly loud moan and your hands flew to his head, tangling in his hair. Your hips jerked up into the air, desperate for more friction. Nolan laid his thick forearm across your waist, his weight halting all of your movements and holding you at his mercy.

“Nolan, please just fuck me,” you begged, the suspense too much to handle as you felt yourself drip down the crease of your thigh.

“All in good time, baby,” he cooed, pulling your panties to the side and finally connecting with your throbbing pussy.

You cried out as his tongue flicked your clit back and forth, the pleasure only magnifying when he sucked it between his teeth. Your hands were locked with an iron grip in the roots of his hair, holding on like your life depended on it. Nolan hummed against your core as he continued to taste you, the vibrations of his voice sending shockwaves through your body.

Suddenly Nolan pulled back, but before you could protest you heard ripping. A gasp left your lips when you realized what he had done, the mangled lace of your panties now laying on his floor. You wanted to yell at him, complain that those were your favorite, but before you could get a word out he was back at work, this time fucking his tongue in and out of you.

Your head fell back against the pillow, your mouth opening in a silent scream when you felt him slide two fingers inside while his mouth circled your clit again. Nolan curled his fingers against your sweet spot and you knew you were done for, your back arching off the mattress as you combusted with your orgasm.

Nolan milked you through your high, his tongue flattening against your clit as his head shook and his fingers kept their pace. He finally slowed down as he felt you come down, pulling back to watch you shake as the last waves of pleasure rolled through your body. He slipped his fingers out of your fluttering pussy, only to bring them to his mouth and suck your juices clean.

“You’re really good at that,” you stammered, just now coming back to your senses after almost blacking out.

Nolan laughed, kissing his way back up your body until you two were face to face again. You couldn’t resist pulling him down and crashing your lips against his, moaning into his mouth as you tasted yourself on his tongue.

“I’m good at other things too,” he smirked, tucking your hair behind your ear, just as he had done last week, except this time he didn’t have to hide it. The soft action made your heart flutter, but his words made something else flutter.

“Give me your best, Patrick,” you challenged.

“Your wish is my command, baby.”

Nolan pushed off his arms and stood up, hurriedly stripping himself of his sweats and boxers in one fell swoop. A whimper escaped your lips when you heard the sound of his cock slapping against his stomach, your pupils dilated as your eyes trailed down his thighs admiring his tattoos.

Reaching across you to get a condom from his nightstand, Nolan was surprised when you plucked it right from his hand. You tore open the foil and slowly rolled the condom onto him, a small smile spreading across your face when his hips buckled into your hand at your touch.

You may have been embarrassingly weak for him, but he was just as weak for you.

Nolan shifted on the bed so he was hovering over your body, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth. Your lips moved in sync with one another, the pure lust filling the room dictating every movement. He felt you grow more and more impatient, your body stirring beneath his as he finally pulled away.

Taking one last look at you spread out before him, waiting for him to touch you, Nolan directed his attention back to between your legs. He locked eyes with you before collecting the salvia in his mouth, harshly spitting on your pussy. The moan you let out was only amplified when he started teasing you even more, dragging the head of his cock through your soaking folds.

“Nolan,” you whined, the last letter of his name prolonged as you begged, your entire body tensing while he tapped your already so sensitive clit.

“Shhh,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb in soothing circles against your hip, “Got to make sure you’re ready for me.”

Before you could get in another word of protest, Nolan was pushing one of your legs into your chest and sliding inside. Your mouth fell open as he slowly bottomed out, the sensation of him filling you paralyzing. A string of deep swears left his lips as he felt you already clenching around him.

After letting you adjust, Nolan started rocking his hips, quickly finding his rhythm. You didn’t have a single thought in your head, the way he hit your sweet spot inside and ground against your clit making you dizzy.

Nolan had never been in such bliss. He could never have imagined how good you would feel wrapped around him, your walls still pulsating from your first high as he slid in and out. The way your name sounded falling from his lips was pure ecstasy, his innate possessiveness in full drive. Your nails dug into his back, dragging burning lines into his skin that he knew he would be tormented about tomorrow in the locker room but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but the way your bodies fit together in perfect harmony right this moment.

You could feel yourself growing close within mere minutes, Nolan’s relentless thrusts giving you no mercy. He could tell you were almost there by the way you were fluttering around him, along with the mindless sounds of pleasure escaping your lips getting louder and louder.

“That’s it,” Nolan encouraged in your ear, “Cum for me, Y/N.”

Between his hot breath against your tingling skin and his plunging thrusts, Nolan had you seeing stars.

“Nolan, Nolan,” you whined.

You swore you almost blacked out, your vision going blank as he fucked you through your high. He wasn’t far behind you, the clenching of your pussy egging him on until he finally let go, his hips stuttering and groans filling the air as his head fell into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck,” Nolan sighed, letting his heart rate steady as he laid above you, resting the majority of his weight on his forearms.

“Yeah,” you responded with a breathy laugh, your mind still blank as you came down.

Nolan stayed there for a few minutes before finally sitting up, cringing as you whimpered when he pulled out. Your eyes slipped shut, but you could hear him shifting around the room. After pulling on a pair of fresh boxers and dampening a towel, Nolan gently cleaned you up, biting back a smirk each time you shivered at his touch. He disappeared again, this time returning with a shirt in hand, urging you to sit up so he could help you pull the soft fabric over your head.

You had every intention of getting dressed and leaving, but you just couldn’t find the energy to remove yourself from his warm bed. The sheets that smelled like him enveloped you, and now his t-shirt was draped over your shoulders begging you to stay. Nolan slid next to you, his body cradling yours from behind as he wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you impossibly close.

“Sleep well, Y/N,” Nolan hummed into your neck as he settled in.

“Goodnight,” you managed to get out, the shame of what you had just done starting to spiral in your head.

You made a mistake. Nolan was good, so good, and he deserved more than you could give him. Your last relationship ended in disaster, leaving you broken and abandoning the idea of finding love ever again. Regardless of what you told your friends and family, it was what drove you from home. Then came Nolan, he was the definition of kind. Even when he barely knew you he did whatever he could to protect you. That kind of guy deserves someone who’s got it together, not whatever mess you were. You couldn’t believe you let your attraction to him get the best of you, and now here you were, pressed against his sleeping frame as he held you.

Everything inside of you was telling you to leave. It was too much, the eventual pain of whatever this was ending was overwhelming. You could hear Nolan snoring behind you, the sound of his contentment almost bringing tears to your eyes. Gently lifting his arm from its spot across your waist, you slid from underneath his grasp. It was nearly impossible to find your clothes in the dark, but you managed to do so without making too much noise. Nolan didn’t even stir as you moved around him, folding the shirt he gave you and placing it on the nightstand.

Just as you reached for the door, you felt yourself pause. Don’t do it, Y/N. Don’t do it. But you couldn’t resist, slowly turning to take in what you were leaving behind.

Nolan was passed out, his body leaning towards the pillow where you once laid your head and his arm laying flat as if he was still holding you. You could make out the redness of his cheeks in the dim light, his eyelashes curling down onto his cheeks. Your heart broke as you looked at him, but you knew it was what you had to do. He deserved the world, which was much more than you were able to give him. Without giving it another second of thought, you opened the door as quietly as possible and made your escape.

+ one

It had been over three weeks since you last spoke to Nolan.

You couldn’t handle facing him just yet, so you did what you knew best: shutting out the people that cared about you the most. You ignored every single one of his calls and texts, eventually muting his number when it became too much. You replayed what you imagined he looked and felt like that morning, waking up to a cold, empty bed. It was heartbreaking, but you stayed firm in your decision. As long as you didn’t have to see his face you would be fine.

But of course, Aubrey had different plans for you.

Since that night, you had been more distant from her than ever before. You left the apartment early in the morning, spending your day in class and bouncing between different coffee shops while working. You kept up appearances when you returned in the evening, saying hello and asking her how her day was, but practically nothing else. You made an early exit to your room, citing homework or lack of sleep as your excuse. But she knew you better than anyone else, it was no secret something was wrong. Much to your content, you could only assume that Nolan was keeping your secret as well, knowing that if he told anyone on the team you would be getting an earful from her.

But Aubrey had decided that she was done letting you sulk about whatever it was you were so clearly upset by. The Flyers had been away for almost two weeks and tonight was their first game back home. Thanks to Travis, she had two tickets in hand ready for the two of you.

Before you had even shut the apartment door behind you after arriving home, she was jumping up to greet you.

“Hey!” Aubrey exclaimed as you walked in, “We’re going out tonight.”

You just stared at her confused, knowing damn well you had no intention of going anywhere. “Hey,” you started, “I- I don’t think so, I have a lot to do.”

“No, you don’t. Listen, I don’t know what is going on with you but I’m sick of watching you wallow in whatever it is. I’ve barely talked to you in almost a month, you’re coming with me,” Aubrey snapped. If there was one thing about having such an old friend it was that she always gave it to you straight.

“Where?” You begrudgingly inquired.

“Nope, it’s a surprise,” she answered. If her inkling was correct, whatever had you in this funk had something to do with a certain Flyers centerman and she was not risking you ditching because of it.

“Fine,” you groaned.

It wasn’t news to you that you had been a horrible friend recently. Despite the anxiety that came with breaking your current routine, maybe a night with Aubrey was just what you needed to take your mind off everything.

A few hours had passed, and you were sitting in the back of an Uber watching the city pass you by. Aubrey maintained the anonymity of the destination, ignoring all of your pleas for even just a hint. But there were some things that she couldn’t control.

Your stomach dropped when you saw where the car was heading towards, the large Wells Fargo Center plastered on the side of the building cluing you in. Of course, you thought, how could you not have known. You had so strictly blocked Nolan and the entire team from your mind that didn’t think to look at their schedule, but now it all made sense.

“Aubrey, no,” you stated, your voice already shaking as you got closer and closer.

“What the hell happened?” she snapped back, finally getting confirmation that your funk was related to Nolan.

“Nothing, nothing happened. I just don’t want to go,” you rebutted, “I’m not in the mood to see everyone, okay?”

“You don’t have to, we’re sitting alone,” she responded, turning her phone on and showing you the location of the tickets. As she promised, they were nowhere near the family boxes.

You didn’t say anything else, instead choosing silence as the car pulled up to the entrance. You both thanked the driver before quickly exiting, a long, awkward silence falling over the two of you as you entered the arena.

You could do this, you told yourself while adjusting in your seat. You could sit through one game, you didn’t even have to see or talk to anyone. If it would make Aubrey happy, you could suck it up and sit down. The two of you had still barely said a word to each other since arriving, and you could see the disappointment on her face. Deciding it was time to get over it, you put your arm around Aubrey, smiling as you instantly felt her relax and place her head on your shoulder. Neither of you said anything, but after knowing each other for so long, you didn’t have to. She knew what you meant.

You didn’t know what to expect, but the second you saw Nolan step onto the ice you were flooded with emotion. He looked tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping much or well, and your heart dropped at the thought that you may have been the reason why. You still were firm in your decision to avoid anything serious right now, but you knew you went about it in the completely wrong way. Nolan was the closest thing you had ever met to an angel, but you treated him like a random one night stand from the bar you barely knew. The guilt had overtaken you over the past few weeks, and seeing him in the flesh wasn’t helping.

It was a relatively uneventful game, the rebuilding Red Wings visiting and not giving the Flyers much of a fight. By the third period they were up 4-0, one of which was scored by number 19 himself. As the horn sounded signaling the end of the game, Aubrey turned to you.

“I was going to go see Travis,” she hesitated, “Do you want to come? Or I can meet you right after?”

“I’ll wait for you,” you encouraged.

Aubrey thanked you, squeezing your hand before getting up and heading downstairs. Instead of going to the main concourse to wait, you stayed in your seat, waiting for the crowds to clear out before you moved. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you started mindlessly scrolling as a distraction.

But your distraction didn’t last for long.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Your eyes slipped shut when you heard his voice, that same voice that left you weak in the knees. You immediately felt your heart begin to race and your palms sweat. You felt caught. After taking a moment to pause, you finally mustered up the courage to look up at him.

Nolan’s eyes were focused on your own, his hair slicked back and soaking wet still with sweat. He had definitely not showered yet, between the fact that the game just ended minutes ago and his appearance. He was dressed in his undergarments and slides, clearly he wasted no time before coming up here to find you.

“How did you even know I was here?” you questioned back, already feeling yourself on the defense.

“Really?” Nolan scoffed, “Travis told me. How else would I have known? It’s not like you talk to me.” He trailed off, his words becoming quieter.

“Nolan, please,” you pleaded, “Please sit down.”

There was no doubt in your mind that it was time for you to come clean. You could see the pain in his eyes and the hurt behind his voice. He obliged, sinking to sit in the seat beside you, but he didn’t turn to face you. His coldness was evident, and you knew that you deserved nothing else.

“I’m sorry,” you began, “I’m so sorry, Nolan. I- I shouldn’t have left like that, with no explanation-”

“I thought I had you,” he interrupted, “Finally, Y/N, after all those weeks of tiptoeing around it, I thought we were done pretending.”

You could feel the tears burning behind your irises, and it was taking everything within you not to let them out. Nolan’s words broke you, even more than you were already broken.

“Nolan, I wanted- I want,” you corrected yourself, “Nothing more than to give myself to you, but I- I just can’t. I’m not ready.”

“Then why did you sleep with me?” his voice cracked, “And what does that even mean, ‘you’re not ready’?”

“I can’t let myself get hurt again, okay? I can’t do it,” you sighed, finally succumbing to your emotion, “I am so sorry for dragging you into my mess, but I can’t let myself go through that again. And you deserve so much better.”

Your head fell to your hands, hiding your face from him as you cried. Even just speaking out loud your last heartbreak made you a wreck. Deep down you knew Nolan wasn’t capable of hurting you like that, but you wouldn’t let him take care of you anymore. You couldn’t. He deserved someone who didn’t need to be taken care of.

“Y/N,” Nolan hummed, gently placing a hand on your back. He cringed when you jumped at his touch. “Y/N, look at me, please.”

You did as he asked, your red, puffy eyes lifting to meet his baby blues, putting you at ease almost right away.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Nolan murmured, “I don’t know what you think, but you’re not a burden. You’re the complete opposite and I want to show you that. If you’ll let me.” He paused, his eyes frantically scanning your face for any sign of your reaction. You were staring ahead of you, entranced with the ice below as you processed his words. Despite knowing how much it could potentially hurt, Nolan said what he thought he had to, “Even if it’s just as friends, but you can’t disappear on me again.”

You made Nolan feel at peace, like when he was with you nothing else mattered. But no matter how strong his feelings were, he cared for you enough to put them aside if that’s what it took to keep you in his life.

“I don't want to be friends,” you whispered, finally breaking the silence.

As if there was some kind of magnifying force between the two of you, your body lunged towards Nolan’s, your lips crashing together instantly. He was stunned, his body frozen in shock, but within seconds he melted against your touch with one hand on your lower back and the other tangled in your hair. It felt like time stopped in that moment, the only thing making you pull away was the lack of air.

You were both breathless, your foreheads resting against one another. Nolan took both of your hands in his, intertwining his much larger fingers with yours.

“I trust you,” you breathed out.

The grin that spread on Nolan’s face was like nothing you had ever seen before. You matched him right away, smiling as you watched the pure joy and relief wash over. The same joy and relief that you were feeling.

“Does this mean I finally get to take you out?” he asked, his deep mumble making you feel right at home again.

“Maybe,” you teased, “Only if you shower,” you added, pretending to push him off of you.

Nolan couldn’t help but fall into a fit of laughter at your subtle jab. That’s what he loved about you most, the way you could earn a smile or chuckle out of him like no one else.

He stood up from his seat, extending his hand out as he stared down at you. Without even a crumb of doubt creeping its way into your mind, you took his hand. Wrapping your arms around Nolan’s and resting your head against his shoulder, you walked out and into the hallway together.

Nolan leaned down and pressed a gentle peck to your forehead, and for the first time in longer than you could remember, you felt untouchable.

#nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nhl smut #hockey smut #my writing

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sultryvodka · 4 years ago

Text

𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚! 𝙖𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 | 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 1

𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙙��𝙩𝙚 - 𝙢𝙖𝙮 4𝙩𝙝

warnings: mild swearing, mildly suggestive (if you squint lol)

| armin - colt - eren - jean - porco |

armin arlert

• i think most, if not all of us, agree that armin looks like the type to get all flustered with PDA & shy away from his emotions --- HOWEVER.

• rather than being all over you, he finds himself most comfortable with holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

• he wouldn't mind you being clingy though 👀

• would occasionally place a gentle peck on your forehead, cheeks & his personal favorite; the palm of your hands.

• you guys' dates would mostly end up being in a library, café & restaurants with a nice warm atmosphere.

• i bet he would be the kind of guy to take you to the beach whenever you're stressed out in hopes of calming you down.

• gets very defensive when his friends tease you, if a man could bark his friends away, it's armin arlert.

• this lad over here would establish a routine with you (with your consent & opinions ofc)

• mondays to friday mornings are centered on school, you guys do your own thing at school & walk you home while making sure to stop by a convenience store for snacks, assuming that you guys don't live together yet.

• both of you make it a point to check on one another to make sure you guys aren't wearing yourselves out.

• which leads me to the conclusion that your parents grew very fond of him & treats him more like their child

• when you guys are having a sleepover, this whole lowkey facade of his takes a 180 and the second you reach the bedroom he'll shower you with cuddles and kisses.

• you would watch movies (mostly rom-com just bc armin makes it work okay) tucked in a warm futon with popcorn and candies between you two.

• armin strikes me as a very studious guy and he does this to ensure you guys' future together ^-^

• all in all armin cares about you so much and he doesn't mind being vulnerable to you. he is your safe haven, and so are you to him.

colt grice

• okay can we talk about how this perfect man deserves some more attention

• colt, my man, gives me disney's prince florian vibes. the soft-spoken, kind-hearted, & just an absolute dream.

• he's the kind of guy to take you to the park, a greenhouse, & WORKSHOPS!!!

• given the idea that he is in fact a shy little baby, he is actually pretty active with you. every date you guys have is different. mans has a quest planned out for y'all.

• at school i think that you might be the one to initiate skinship. doesn't have to be kisses on the lips, it's more of gently trailing your index on the back of his hand or rubbing a hand on his forearm when he gets a little anxious.

• the type to peek through your classroom's door because bubba's too shy to ask someone to call for you 🤧

• colt, in my opinion, is very domestic in private, now don't get me wrong he may be a little too shy in public because he isn't used to it but i promise you he takes on the nurturing role of the relationship more than you are.

• he helps you with cleaning, folding your clothes, and god if you guys get periods, he's got a whole pouch in his locker just for you.

• he doesn't do it intentionally, he happens to know you so well that he notices the slight change in your moods & cravings.

• colt often reads a book while you guys cuddle during the afternoons once all the work is done, he'd make you tea or whatever you want. he hums a tune, probably from old disney movies that his brother falco used to enjoy as a kid.

• your parents are more invested in your marriage than you and colt combined.

• okay, now if you happen to have a baby or a toddler somewhere around the house, someone keep this man from turning into a putty.

• as much as colt acts prim and proper most of the time, he has his moments where he just wants to be an entire mess. perhaps sleeping past his usual waking time, indulging in more snacks than usual. you know, loosen up? yeah, that is a side of his that only YOU will ever be allowed to see.

• so yes you and colt would be labeled as the: put-together couple who needs a little bit of adventure every now and then.

eren jaeger

• i hope i don't ramble too long because i love him sm

• mr. loverboy over here is a simp for you, more than you are a simp for him! he is not afraid to show you off and shower you with flattery. now he does this because he feels so lucky to have you.

• he can be a little cliché (well maybe not as much as jean --- more on that later), like he'll randomly interrupt your vacant class with a gift box he put together, & a bouquet. yes. (carla helped him pick out flowers from her shop)

• he's the type to crash his lips with yours in the middle of campus when you achieve something or when he does, vice-versa. if he plays in one of your school's teams, there just HAS to be a bet that if he wins he gets a kiss... or more... or something else.

• dates with eren are usually random than planned. like it pops in his head and he'll inform you right away. he respects your vacancy too of course but if you aren't he might pout just a little bit.

• his ideal dates are prop shop dates, going to hotspots, amusement parks, antique shops! & maybe late night drinks at a quiet bar where you can both enjoy the solace of the atmosphere.

• on special occasions, he does plan ahead. usually it's something on the simpler side. candlelit dinners at home or somewhere you guys both enjoy dining.

• if eren's had a bad day, best believe that he will run to you for comfort. only you can help keep his aggressive response to anger at bay.

• if given the chance he would take you around the world, he's that passionate in making sure you live a little

• hear me out... you and eren would probably have the most philosophical conversations, just laying on your backs beneath his room's skylight? heavenly.

• eren can get a little poetic expressing himself & i believe that it's just wonderful. no one can describe their feelings as good as eren.

• his favorite look of yours is when your eyes beam with excitement, it usually happens when you spot something that you used to enjoy as a kid or when you're concentrating on one of your hobbies.

• he's a very touchy person too, his hands are usually on your stomach/waist, his kisses are random & they linger for awhile.

• when you're asleep next to him, it's his habit to solemnly watch you while his own drowsiness starts to take over.

• eren is passionate & sometimes people might take it the wrong way. one of the reasons eren loves you is because of the way you understand how he is. mutual growth for y'all ♡.

jean kirschtein

• jean is not afraid to pull a live performance for you, you see this man is at the top of the world when he's with you. from 80s hits to recent releases this man will blast his playlists catered for you.

• dates with jean are certainly spent on concerts, (him & eren bond over chase atlantic don't argue with me) music festivals, thrifting & late night drives!!!

• personally, i don't see jean as very gimmicky unless you guys are with his friends, he takes you very seriously and you are his top priority.

• at school i think he's definitely one of those flirtatious boyfriends. the kind who would not miss an opportunity to blow you a kiss or throw you a wink. he can be a bit of a dork, who wouldn't be? if he can get one of your rare smiles 🥺

• jean's the type to ask his pals for help when it comes to styling. not because he dresses badly but he's too focused on getting a flush on your cheeks. he's a hopeless romantic.

• if you guys happen to stay at home, he'll definitely serenade you with the amount of songs he had written recently just for you.

• since he bonds with sasha and connie, his jokes are either dad jokes or something that went viral on tiktok. he's the perfect balance of goofy and mature.

• if you aren't much of an active person he wouldn't mind being lazy with you and insist on a diy spa day at home.

• it's just netflix with a tub of ice cream and face masks on.

• since jean is quite the romantic, he would be into couple outfits or items that aren't cringey obv and probably doesn't mind using your perfume or vice-versa.

• jean probably asked you out during one of his gigs, offering you a single rose afterwards.

• he's the type to leave you random post-it notes if he visits your house. just random phrases or doodles. and boy does he pick you up every single day on his smexy motorcycle.

• he'll bring you coffee and breakfast to-go. this man's spoiling you baby.

• aside from that, i feel like jean would make you hand-made gifts with the help of his momma. he thinks it's sentimental when you make your presents because it's one of a kind.

• jean does all these things because he's 100% about you being a constant person in his life. he loves how he can be whoever he wants when he's around you, i'm certain you guys wouldn't have it any other way either.

porco galliard

• porco can be a dick if he wants to not to you though, this tough guy turns into putty just for you. he definitely loves being treated like a baby.

• at first he might come off as cold because he isn't used to the whole romance thing and he gets flustered with the slightest pecks so you might have to initiate at first.

• but once you guys get through the awkward phase this boy would straight up greet you with a passionate kiss and does not give a damn about everybody who witnessed it. he might even have a stupid smirk on his face.

• like eren, i feel like porco would be very passionate and intense. he doesn't say much but he definitely shows you just how much he adores you.

• speaking of friends (: reiner would tease him every second of the day. i bet he would team up with bertholdt to annoy this poor boy. annie and pieck's not much help either.

•whenever you're stressed, porco would run you a bath and give you massages very often. he'll sit on the edge of the tub while he runs his hand through your hair.

•his type of dates would be watching at a cinema or a drive-in, going to the mall just to look around,he's a simple guy.

•if you guys happen to have an argument, porco would distance himself for a few minutes to a few hours just to process the situation and avoid anything his aggression might cause.

•he knew that if he wanted you guys to work he needed to be better.

•he would come back though and hold you in his arms while you guys talk it out.

•i bet he's one of the aot characters who would be an athlete, so most days you'll end up watching him practice.

•overtime, porco would be more open to being intimate in public and post stories of you two just doing things most couples do.

•he's proud that you're his and he's all yours.

•porco is a great guy and he would do anything just to make you smile.

i hope you guys liked these~! let me know who you guys want to be in the second part. requests are open and as always, stay safe! - 🌸☁️

#aot headcanons #aot x you #armin headcanons #armin arlert fluff #colt headcanons #colt grice fluff #eren headcanons #eren jaeger fluff #jean headcanons #jean kirschtein fluff #porco headcanons #porco galliard fluff #🌸☁️ works

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mikaze-discord · 3 years ago

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Quartet Night: Love letters

Annnnnd these are the love letters written for Quartet Night!!!

Please enjoy under the cut~

REIJI KOTOBUKI

From Anon:

I've always been drawn to characters with complex (and fairly dark) personalities, so liking Rei-chan was honestly inevitable for me.

He looks like a very bright and cheerful character at first, which he is, but sometimes that part of him is a little misleading because, in actuality, he's a character that holds a lot of negative feelings about himself due to a past that he can't seem to move on from. He holds a lot of those feelings to himself because he doesn't want to burden anyone else with them. He's a reliable, cunning, and ultimately selfless character that chooses to shoulder a lot on his own out of his infinite care for others, and perhaps a secret sense of atonement, all hidden behind his bright demeanor and goofy smile, and it's endlessly interesting to me.

Besides the duality of his personality, he has a lot of other endearing quirks to love about him. He loves his mom a lot and is a mama's boy. His old-man jargon and catchphrases never fail to amuse (I still can't get over the way he says "my girl"). His obsession with anything even remotely British is something my APH England phase can relate to. His style of music brings a lot of pleasant feelings of nostalgia for me, and his pretty voice suits them a lot. And most of all he's just a very good boy overall. I rate 99999 out of 10 would love and support him and also maybe pay for his therapy because god knows he needs it. Happy anniversary!!

From another anon:

Would you like to hear a story? You do? Very well then, may this story be one you enjoy.

What do I like about Reiji kotobuki? A Lot of things actually!

Well, I've always really liked Reiji as a character as he seemed to be one of the more interesting characters to me, due to how complex he is with his backstory and general just personality.

I have always really enjoyed how Reiji just solves problems too? Like he is just such an outgoing person who deserves all the support!!!

Like the best word I can use for Reiji is just, unique. Everything about him is just so Reiji. From the way he talks, to his nicknames or even his texting style. Like have you seen how many people use emoticons when texting as Reiji? It's just so him.

I like his way of thinking too! I feel like some of the interactions in the games are just so interesting, just seeing Reiji’s point of view. How he deals with a sort of survivor’s guilt and all of that.

Personally, some of my most memorable roleplaying moments were watching a Reiji rper in action, like just seeing them interact and flow so seamlessly with the other characters was just so fascinating to wee baby rper me. Such a large part of playing Reiji is just how you flow with the people around you and comedic timing. I have so many funny moments where Reiji was just interacting with people and it was just so inspirational (?) like I couldn't stop the smile on my face. I had learnt alot from them. I still consider them my roleplaying senpai almost! I don't talk to them anymore but I really had an amazing time just seeing their spin on the character.

I don't find him to be a romantic partner towards me nor do I see any of the characters in that light, but I've always found Reiji as such a personal character. Not even just towards me, like even with other utapri stans. The most relatable character always seems to be Reiji.

I've always been pretty similar in many aspects to him and I often find myself relating to him in numerous ways like his vibe is just relatable! I have often found myself trying to make other people laugh and have fun that many times I'm spreading myself thin and feel unappreciated...Reiji really helped with that.

This is where i start getting into the really personal stuff LOL feel free to skip if you dont wanna hear the angsty backstory.

I had really come to love Reiji when I had just...hit a low. I had a group of friends who I enjoyed hanging out with and just talking to, but they weren't very good friends per say. I often had to schedule every activity we did and I spent days and nights trying to think of concepts that might be fun. They took it for granted.. I had spent 4 months trying to make a game for them, and they had constantly pushed back times that we would play it. Using excuses to not play it, without telling me out right what they did not like or even why. The site I used was later taken down without notice and thus I had lost all my progress. Later, they had mentioned how they would like to play it except that later ended up being two years later. I really wish I could've solved things with that friend group like Quartet Night did but that didn't happen. That is when I started seeing things Reiji’s way? Not to say that it was the same or similar scenario to Reiji but I had just associated it with him.

RANMARU KUROSAKI

From Anon:

Ran is such a fun character! He sounds like a "rough outside, soft inside" kind of character, but his roughness is more like an integral part of him and it's through it that he shows he cares rather than setting it aside. That's what made me want to rp him. I also like how he is such a strong guy who's always determined to do his best in everything he does despite so much having gone wrong in his past. And it's very satisfying to see him form bonds and start to trust people.

From @mikaze-san:

Originally, my favourite Utapri boy was Ai, and it had been the robot boy for several years upon entering the fandom. In fact, it only switched to Ranmaru sometime late last year but regardless, I would still die for this man. Part of the reason why I switched is because I’ve always been a fan of Suzuki Tatsuhisa and I have a huge bias towards any man who wears nail polish without fearing being “feminine” because fuck gender roles.

As someone who studies fashion, I think Ranmaru is very coordinated and confident when it comes to portraying himself that way. He knows he’s not very good at expressing his emotions and utilises his passion for rock and playing the bass to portray those feelings through his songs. It’s also incredibly inspiring to know that he bounces back from pretty much anything considering his backstory and the stuff he deals with in the game/anime.

But my main reason for loving Ranmaru so much stems from the fact that I admire him a lot and want to be more like him. For a long time last year, I got to roleplay as Ranmaru in a few Utapri groups and through those experiences, I gained a better understanding and appreciation of the characters that I wrote for. In some weird way, by highlighting his flaws, character progression and how he dealt with different emotions, I ended up providing insight into how I dealt with similar issues by looking at them from a 3rd person perspective.

I used to be very shy and was very shut off from friends and family, and due to this I’ve always admired people in my life or fictional characters that are so confident in being who they are. Ranmaru particularly struck that chord in me because his bluntness knows no end. He’s very opinionated and doesn’t fear confrontation, in most cases being the one to provoke it. He speaks his mind openly without being overly anxious of the consequences. This is something that I feel is especially relevant today with being your authentic/unapologetic self is such a trend.

It’s something I’ve also noticed with having met people in or outside of this fandom, the notion of idolising a fictional character containing traits that we want to see in ourselves. Which made me think about a lot of my favourite kinds of characters which at the end of the day all boil down to sharing one similar trait: Being a bitch.

And in Utapri, Ranmaru embodies that. So naturally it’s very easy for me to idolise him.

(Tldr: I like his bitchy attitude.)

AI MIKAZE

From Arashi:

It's hard to put into words why I love Ai Mikaze, perhaps it's because I'm subconsciously drawn to him, maybe it's because his hair and eyes are my favorite color, maybe it's because his voice is that of an angels, there are many reasons why I love him. I couldn't tell you a definite, "These one or two reasons are the entire reason I love him", but I'll try to sum it up.

I grew to love him by admiring his personality, his smile, his determination to reach his goals, everything about him made me happy. He's strict and a little scary at times, but when he sees people caring for him, he becomes happy and in a way, sentimental. He's not sure how to explain the way he feels, but he tries. I think I admire how he holds all the little things precious to his heart as he learns about them, and he wants to understand how to care for others and how they care for them in return. Even after six years, he still remains the most dear to me. I think that he now has a sentimental value to me, because even if I 'loved' another character more for a while, I will always come back to Ai. Ai deserves the world, and I'd give it to him if I could. He'll always be special to me, and I think that he very much deserves that.

From Maronda:

My love for Ai started after I found Shining Live by chance and started to play. At first I wasn't particularly attached to any of the characters and decided to go back and watch the anime to maybe remember some context other than who Starish was. When I got to the episode focused on Ai and his "secret" I was absolutely thrown off by it all. I ended up feeling like I had so many questions and I knew that the anime would give me little to no answers, so I frequently turned to rambling on the internet about it. Eventually, this fixation on weird things about him seemed to turn into a clear fondness for him, and friends made me realize just how much I liked him. Knowing the cold and often strange aspects of his personality was due to something out of his control was something I resonated with as someone on the autism spectrum. He reminded me of some of the ways I used to think and behave.

I also began to notice other things I loved about him. Things like how soothing I found his voice, the pleasant shade of light blue in his hair and eyes, how ridiculously pretty he is... but the best things are the endearing parts of his personality. Though he's somewhat harsh, he's still entirely genuine. His curiosity is absolutely precious and his occasional awkwardness in expressing emotion or understanding the emotions of others made me empathize with him. And if you look at the Ai in Shining Live and compare it to the Ai in the anime and games... he really has changed a lot and grown as a person. He now seems so much gentler and understanding, and he clearly values the friendships he has now too! I think he's a wonderful character and ever since friends of mine encouraged me to selfship I've essentially been in love with him, but it also makes me happy to see other people appreciate him for other reasons as well. He's just so lovable!

CAMUS

From @uta-no-fakku-sama:

At the very beginning of my UtaPri interest, Camus never really caught my attention. That is until he became my first My Only Prince UR. I’ve come to appreciate him a lot more ever since, and now he’s become my favorite QUARTET NIGHT member! Along the way, I learned more about him and realized he’s one of the more complicated characters to understand. Nonetheless, I absolutely adore him. I tend to tease and make fun of him a lot, but deep down I truly do like him a whole bunch!

From @/waddamaloooon on twt:

A little Camus appreciation post

(alternatively known as; how this guy managed to harshly take my heart and step on it like the gumin I am.)

Hello, this is Suikamaru, here to share a tiny story of why I, and eventually you, love Camus Rondo Cryzard.

At first glance, his looks appealed to me, but not his behavior (and ironically enough, his voice) so I didn't bat an eye on him. I've always been on a neutral leaning to dislike opinion on Camus, which is quite understandable because have you SEEN the way he acts. Unfathomable.

…..To a Young Suikamaru, that is.

I've grown, so naturally I've changed preferences regarding characters, ikemen, and who to stan and who to avoid like the plague. I will lie if I said that I expected to like that blonde confectionery devouring machine at any point of my life.

But it did happen so who are we fooling here.

It dawned on me that Camus is the type of character that you cannot appreciate unless you go in depth into his lore, backstory, and see him for who he really is. Because then everything else will make sense. And that never happened in my case until I started roleplaying as him.

I realized that he's not just a two faced, sweet toothed mean man. He's a perfectionist, someone who's always been raised since his childhood days to be nothing less than complete, who has locked on his heart and emotions to devote himself completely to the purpose given to him. He has the looks and brains for what though? He should be a little stupid honestly.

But his intelligence gave him the complexity that he just needed for his characteristics. Because as aforementioned, he's not someone to easily like or fall in love with. And I think that's quite rare in characters, and very much appreciated due to the fact it gives the fans a chance to not actually stay on a flat level of knowledge regarding their favorite characters.

I've slowly started to see myself in some aspects of him, which was the number one factor of liking him. Then came the Maeno magic when I realized Camus shares the same VA as another character that I love as well. (Hamelin, from SinoAlice.) From then, everything went downhill.

In a good way. I think..

Well, that is all from me, please read about this handsome man and appreciate his hard work both as an individual and as an idol. There is SO much to him that's p much overlooked and I'm getting broke from spending my money on his living expenses rent free in my head. Take him off my head.

#utapri #utanoprincesama #uta no prince sama #Reiji kotobuki #Kotobuki reiji #Ranmaru kurosaki #utapri camus #ai mikaze #mikaze ai #quartet night

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silverducks · 3 years ago

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Game of Thrones - Jaime Lannister

A rambling character study of Jaime Lannister from Game of Thrones.

Introduction

Ok, so nearly a month since I finished watching Game of Thrones, and I’m still not over how it ended. Like some things I can reconcile myself too, some things just annoy me when I overthink what happened and some things - ok one thing in particular - is just not letting me go.

And that is the way the show ended for Jaime Lannister.

I know I’m like 2 years too late on the GoT bandwagon and no one cares anymore. But I’m writing all these posts because I still care, having recently experienced what you all went through 2 years ago. And I know what I’ll be posting will have all been posted countless times before and discussed in the fandom years ago. But I kinda need to still get my own thoughts written down and outta my head.

Before I go on though, I just want to add in here that I do still love this show and, even right to the very end, think the acting, crew, music, sets/scenery, costumes, basically everything was pretty much amazing. That is except the writing, which, went downhill after series 4. Before then it was pretty much amazing too (not always perfect (is anything?), but so darn good!)

Now, turns out when I came to write down my thoughts on Jaime’s ending, I had even more than I realised. Basically it’s turned into me writing one massive analysis of Jaime’s character based on the show. So I’ve split it into separate posts, with this first one more of an intro, a summary of my thoughts and overall opinion on Jaime and a bit of context on my own experience with Game of Thrones.

Now, spoilers for Game of Thrones ending

I’ve read/watched a lot on the internet since I saw those episodes (series 8, episode 4 and 5 in case you weren’t sure) and I know a lot of people don’t like how they ended Jaime’s story in the show either. But I’ve also read a lot of comments where people did like it, or at least thought it made sense. The reasons they give make no sense to me, but it’s made me think and overthink and analyse way too much about how they did end his story.

So, in order to try and get them out of my head, I’m putting them down here. It’s a long, pretty rambling read, split up into a few parts because it got so long. Across the posts I’m going to go through my own understanding and perception of Jaime’s character and his arc and why I think they completely ruined it in episodes 8.04 and 8.05. I’ll then focus on some of the main reasons I’ve seen why people think it did make sense, and why (even though I maintain everyone is entitled to their own opinion) I completely disagree. Jaime’s character arc was annihilated in the show even more than Kings Landing. And that is more than a bit frustrating.

Now, just a bit of background to add some context to my thoughts; I basically only got around to watching the show a few months ago (I’ve not read the books yet). I basically binged watched the entire show and am now just a little bit reeling from it all! LOL! Also, as I did binge watch it, it meant I didn’t spend time between episodes/series really analysing/theorising etc. I had a few ideas and thoughts, but not to the depth it would have been had I needed to wait impatiently for each new episode. This means I think my viewpoint is of the show as an overall whole, rather than each separate series, because it kinda all rolled into one. This may, or may not, have affected my opinion and so this analysis of Jaime Lannister and my disappointment in his ending. It also means, having only watched the show once, I’ve probably forgotten or missed bits. However, since I finished the show, I’ve watched a lot of YouTube videos and read a lot of stuff on the net about it, including in comparison to the books. (And I maybe rewatched some of my favourite scenes just a few times…) And now I am analysing and theorising and thinking about this show way too much! LOL!

So I guess my viewpoint isn’t one of ignorance, but it might not be quite the same as someone who’s been invested in the show from the start.

Like most viewers, I pretty much thought Jaime = evil villain for most of the earlier series. He had the odd moment, but it wasn’t until he did that speech with Catelyn about the conflict of all those oaths he’d taken that I even started to take note of his character. And then series 3 happens, where he has his road trip with Brienne, loses his hand, saves her from a bear and basically starts his wonderful path of character development. And basically manages to go from a guy I pretty much do not like at all at the start, to one of my all time favourite characters ever.

Also, I’m definitely a Brienne/Jaime shipper and did wish them to have a happy ending. However, I pretty much never thought the show would actually even go there, let alone make it happy. In fact, I actually did my best to NOT ship them for such a long time because, being Game of Thrones, I knew it was very unlikely to end well. But, then yeah, their intense staring contests kept on happening and darn it, the way that Jaime’s voice breaks when he says Lady Brienne and him giving her a priceless sword, and what the sword represents and…

Ok, well, yeah, I could gush about them all day, but anyway, I ended up not being able to fight the ship any more after series 6 and THAT tent scene. But, even then, I still didn’t think the show would make it canon, like it would just leave it all open ended/make up your own mind kinda thing.

And then we get to series 8. Like we have a whole episode (that is actually named for their very storyline) with Jaime just staring at Brienne, being all dorky around Brienne and then, if that wasn’t enough, he even KNIGHTS Brienne! I mean, this is epic for this ship! And I would have been ok (not happy, but satisfied) as a Brienne and Jaime shipper if that had been it.

But then no, then he barely leaves her side in the fight against the dead in the next episode – they fight side by side with their two halves of one whole swords, each risking their own life for the other multiple times. And then in the next episode (where I don’t think there’s barely any scene where they’re NOT right next to each other) the show DID make it canon. Like it actually did go there, they slept together (in an adorably awkward scene I love). Heck, Jaime then even chooses to stay in the North and be with Brienne, even though he hates the North. Like this was just epicness of all proportions and I got so excited and all those shippy feels I was trying to hold back just came rushing out and then... and then...

THEN that scene happens. He leaves her. Like WTH…

Anyway, more on that in another post. I guess what I’m trying to say is that as much as I ship them, my issues with Jaime’s ending is less about his relationship with Brienne, and more just his complete 180 on character development. Jaime’s arc has been heavily influenced by Brienne, but it is still amazing in its own right. As I didn’t expect Brienne/Jaime to ever happen (so when it did and then got taken away in the very same episode, it’s incredibly frustrating and gives even less credence to what does happen), it’s not why I’m so annoyed and disappointed with what happened to Jaime.

I’m annoyed because they took all this amazing character growth over 7 series and then screwed it all over in less than two episodes. No, that’s not enough. It was a complete and utter character assassination that completely undermines and destroys 7 series worth of investment and development, completely nullifying everything Jaime went through as a character.

So, yeah, I’m a bit annoyed, but that’s because it makes no sense and it’s bugging me enough to write this whole series of posts. Because I can’t let it go. And having read people justify, even like it online, it’s made my inner analysis thought train go into override. And I’m sorry if these posts are like I’m preaching to the choir, or writing such obvious stuff and repeating myself, I’m just trying to get it all out my head as coherently as I can. Hopefully allowing me to move on a bit.

#Urgh #I need to sit in a corner and try to cheer myself up again before I can write anymore #Maybe watching some Brienne and Jaime fan videos will help cheer me up #And also simultaneously depress me even more.

#Game of Thrones #Jaime Lannister #Brienne x Jaime

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kyutown · 3 years ago

Note

Good evening my liege! 💖 I was intrigued to find out about you while diving deeper into tumblr hell so, I am here with a plead to ship me with nct and svt, of you'd be so kind ✨

Alright so for starters, I'm an infp! I'm a generally well-mannered person with people I meet for the first time, borderline sweet and awkward at the same time. I like not to overinvest in first meetings with people and sometimes I think I am somewhat defensive of myself. My emotions always show on my face, both the good and the bad ones. So if someone does say something that I find offensive or whatnot, it SHOWS. I generally hate rude and offensive people all together, as well as people who are vulgar if we're not well acquainted first.

I'm not good at starting conversations and I usually just tend to listen to my friends talk most of the time. It's not like I have nothing to say but I really like listening to my favorite people ramble on about things they love or generally talk about their lives. Im a pretty good listener and I am always objective, even with my family. I won't hold back and I will give you my honest opinion in every case. I always try to see from all perspectives, maybe that's why I'm often somewhat indecisive.

That being said, I really don't shut up about things I love or my hobbies. I'm usually the mood maker of the group as I hate conflict and tension. I am a very sarcastic and cynical person in general and that reflects on my humor, which can vary from vulgar to very dark and inappropriate. Yes, the type of person that will try to hold in their laughter cause I made a mental joke to a funeral. I love witty, stimulating and deep conversations. I'm not that big on casual chitchat but it's okay most of the time I guess.

I'm the personification of open-minded and im also quite opinionated and I can back up my arguments if needed but I tend to avoid getting into heated conversations cause again, my mind reads it as tension. I love being around friends doing nothing and everything but most of the time, I find alone time to be very healing for my mind and soul. I find authenticity and weird little quirks that people have extremely attractive. I'm somewhat stubborn as well.

I also used to have stress and anxiety issues, not anything serious but enough that I had trouble sleeping at night. It was just a few years ago that I decided to not care about every single thing and have a more of a "fuck that" approach in life and honestly, I've never imagined that it would be so liberating. I regained my confidence, physically and mentally, it was an empowering process! I really do believe that self-exploring and healing is the no1 most important thing that someone can do. Love yourself first and foremost and fck what anybody thinks.

So, moving on xD I am a romantic and soft deep down, even though I try not to show sad emotions when around people. But you can be sure I cry at random rescuing dog videos, or videos with people helping each other. I love humanity but hate it at the same time? 😂 Idk if that makes sense, it is what I feel lol I love to learn new random stuff! I'm currently studying linguistics and uni and I aim to be a translator or interpreter, cause i love languages and the cultural differences that come with it. Hence my undying love for music of different genres and languages! Music relaxes me and I couldn't imagine going on without it for more than 3 days. While I do tend to listen to kpop which is more upbeat and experimental, I also LOVE Latin music and rock. I love love traveling around the world! My hobbies include drawing which I'm self taught, fashion and creative writing! I tend to daydream A LOT during the day and so many ideas pop up in my head. I love exploring other cultures' religions and beliefs as well as mythology. I always found it fascinating. I love plants as well! My room is basically a garden xD I also love mystical but also borderline creepy and gory stuff xD I call skulls "pretty" the same way I would call a puppy "cute" 🤣 I'm aware οf that but I can't help but enjoy the look of horror in people's faces xD

oh, I really enjoy observing people as well! Not in a weird way! Their mannerisms, the way they speak, their features. I also love thriller and horror movies the most as well as dark social drama ones. You know, with murders, suicides etc I like how in even the tiniest ways they depict our society as people and frankly, it's sad but I try to be optimistic and keep a positive approach in life. I also really appreciate stand-up comedy xD

Closing up this huge essay, some last things xD I, and I cannot stress this enough, am unable to flirt. Like at all. I can't even maintain eye contact for more than two Seconds. I wish I was kidding. Sadly I'm not 😂Weird thing is, turns out I am actually able to flirt but I'm not aware I'm doing it?? I'm a master at text flirting apparently lololol. What I am, is also called DENSE AS SHIT when it comes to couple things. True story, if you want to do the freaky with your s/o and you need me to leave the room you better TELL ME RIGHT TO MY FACE or else, we gon be there aaaaall night xD And its actually a remarkable feature of mine, considering how dirty minded I usually am lol

I also think I'm touch starved sometimes, like I really like hugs and cuddling and teasing but I'm not gonna ask for it🥺I'm a night owl and I tend to procrastinate a lot. I can't work efficiently if there's not a deadline, like I need that pressure on me in order to function xD My weak spot is actually to act whiny and needy and cutely in front of me. I can do ANYTHING that u ask me of when this happens. And if I show any resistance, JUST KEEP IT UP. I'm jelly on the floor when this happens. Idfk why, it just works?? My sister is abusing the sht out of this method 😭I can't say I make friends easily, cause I believe I do come off as maybe off-putting or weird at times, plus as I said if you're really cant shove your conversation in my face the first time we meet, imma be just an awkward ball of giggles and smiles and "can I go home now pls" 🤣 My general aesthetic / vibes would be sunsets on beaches, soft grunge, cottage core, lofi and hedge witch aesthetics!

Okay so, I think that's everything and probably way more than u needed, so thank you for reading everything my stupid ass wrote❤️

hi! thank you for responding!

for nct, i think yuta would be a nice fit! yuta also likes rock as his favorite band is one ok rock which is a rock band. i feel like you guys would always listen to music (not always rock) and would enjoy making time go by like this!

for seventeen, i think you would match well with the8! the8 would be the type to enjoy exploring new cultures with you and new religions, he would also love to dress up with you and put together outfits with you!

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wendibird · 4 years ago

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SPN 15X16 Observations

Alrighty folks! This week, both my TV AND internet were working! (Helped that this past week a repairperson came out and checked things out and turned out our cable box needed to be replaced because the one they’d given us was defective or something.) So, good part of that was that I was able to watch it on my actual TV! Bad news is, that meant I was left trying to take notes on my phone, which isn’t as easy for me as it is on my computer which my keyboard. But ah well. Here are my episode notes and post-watching break-down of what I thought about it.

- getting "IT" vibes

- "IT" vibes still there

- Nyooooooom

- DEAN! YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU BASTARD!!!

(FLASHBACK) - Dang Dean.... "this is our life" Even then he was trying to make Sam accept it. - Poor Sammy - That's a big gun for a little kid...

- Poor (other) kid!

(Commercial thoughts) So this is the second time this season that Cas had a conversation with Dean and then left and Dean lied to Sam about it. So Sam's in the dark still.

First time I think Dean just didn't want to admit his part in Cas leaving. This time, I have a feeling he doesn't want Sam to know what Cas (probably) said about Jack. Maybe thinks Sam will try to stop the plan. And Dean wants it to happen? Because at least this time it's not them making the sacrifice? *salty*

- Dean's pretty quick to call it. (That it's not their kind of thing.)

- Ring??

- He brought the ring back

- That woke her up

- NOW he (Dean) believes her...

(Commercial) Dean is closing down connections between him and the people he usually connects with. Like, it's harder to hold onto those. Like, he's willing to let Jack go (I think) And he was ready to write off Caitlin's brother.

Also tied up with his slef image. He thought he'd taken care of it back then. She prayed on his sense of duty and shame of failure.

Interesting that the knife wasn't really there.

Could it have killed him anyway?

- "We used to keep a lot of secrets from each other."

- I still hate how Dean gets lumped up as "Sam and Dean" as if his POV is the only one important. (Reference to what Billy told Jack to get him to agree. It was pitched as if his sacrifice to take out Chuck is the only way to earn both their forgiveness. But that's only true for Dean. Not Sam.)

- Dean knows Sam isn't going to like it. That's why he hasn't told him yet.

- BABA YAGA!!! (Wonder if there'll be any references to her hut on chicken legs.)

- *LOL* Poor bong girl.

- So, hallucinating or teleportation? (Apparently hallucination)

- Sammy to the rescue?

- Well, he got to help....

(Commercial) (Still disappointed that there was no mention of her hut on chicken legs or the fact that she rode around on a mortar and pestle. She felt more like an SPN interpretation of IT.)

- "You tell the truth more because you know that lies don't make anything better." (Is that an anvil I hear falling in the distance?)

- Okay. That (Dean fessing-up to Sam) predictably went horribly, but I'm glad it did. I'm glad Sam had a freaking voice. And an opinion. And wouldn't let Dean talk him around. Because he's right. It was shitty to hide it from him. And the plan is shitty. He knows what it's like to be the guy who has to die to save the world. And he's right to have ethical questions.

- "You wouldn't have handled it." (Or however it was phrased is Dean's internal justification for why he's right and Sam isn't. And why it was okay to hide it from him.)

(Post-episode thoughts)

(And again, apologies if these aren't exactly coherent.)

I liked the Weechester parts. Gotta admit, it took me a bit to warm up to the new actors, but I think that's mostly because we had Colin Ford for a good long run, and Dylan Everett for a decent amount of time too. I kind of got used to them. But these two did a good job.

I felt the writing for their parts might have had a few continuity issues. This was supposed to be in 1993 right? (Have only watched through it once so far.) So Sam would have been 10-ish (depending on the time of year) and Dean would have been 14. (Probably safe to assume this wasn't intended to be early January.) And it took place sometime after the flashbacks from "Just My Imagination" but before "After School Special" or "Bad Boys" So I found it a bit odd that Sam already is being shown as not wanting to hunt. (When in "Just My Imagination" he wanted to join his Dad and Dean on the hunt. And in After School Special he was definitely not about hunting but he hadn't seemed to considered that he even had the option to try for anything else. So I found it odd that they had a 10-year-old already looking at books about going to college. I feel like maybe if this had taken place a few years later maybe that would have made more sense? Ah well, I still enjoyed it overall.

Now, about the MOTW, I was all giddy when they revealed it was the Baba Yaga. (When I was in band in college, we played a musical piece from "Pictures at an Exhibition" titled "The Hut of the Baba Yaga". And I hadn't heard of it before that so I did some research on it and found out it was basically the Russian folklore version of the Boogy Man. She lived in a hut that walked around on fowls' leggs, and she rode around on a mortar and pestle, and she was greatly feared. So, they got the "greatly feared" part right. But.... (just did some double-checking on the episode) OKAY! So, I take it back. They didn't make a HUGE deal of it, but the motel where it all happened was called the "Rooster's Sunrise". So yey! They did have a nod to the Hut on Fowl's Legs thing! And it's not anything close to a hut, but it does have wooden siding on the upper part of it. (Like, not painted wood, but wooden-wood. *LOL*) Still though, overall I was getting more of an "IT" vibe from it. (At least the old IT, with Tim Curry. I haven't seen the new one.)

I did think they did an overall good job with the creepiness factor. But in the end, it didn't feel like she had much of a personality. She was just kind of there to move the plot where it needed to go.

To me, I felt like most of the emotional weight of the episode was on the secret Dean was keeping from Sam. And you could tell that it was eating at him. But at the same time, he didn't want to go there. Because he knew Sam would react badly.

Before I get to that though, I want to touch on something I mentioned up in my notes, after the conversation Billy and Dean had. She said that she'd gotten Jack to agree to the plan by saying that the only way to earn their forgiveness was by dying to end Chuck's threat. (I know, in this episode she specifically said Dean. But in the last episode, when Jack was telling Cas about it, he'd said Sam and Dean. So either he's merged them together in his head, or Billy did when pitching it, or she just left an open implication and he took it.) Either way, there's still that idea floating around out there that Sam and Dean are a matched-set, and that what one wants, the other wants too. Despite the fact that that's not how it plays out. And despite the fact that Sam has pretty openly shown Jack that he's forgiven him, and cares about him, and that Jack doesn't need to "earn" his affection. So why is Dean the only one who matters here?

Maybe it's the writers lumping them both together when convenient? But the fight between Sam and Dean at the end of this episode shows that they're not on the same page as far as Jack is concerned, so the writers DO know. Does Billy see them as a single unit? Or is it the opposite? Has she been coming to Dean with her plans and talks because it's easier for her to manipulate him? Because Sam's the one who stops to ask things like "Does Amara deserve to die? Does Jack deserve to die? Is there another way to do this? (Should I maybe NOT lock myself into a coffin and then yeet myself into the ocean?)" She was pretty firm to Dean about "getting his house in order" because she wants the plan to go smoothly. Is that because she knows Sam could/would find a way to stop it if he's not on-board? I mean, old Death was very aware of how persistent Sam could be if he put his mind to something.

Anyway, forgive my ramblings. Most of my questions don't have answers yet, but sometimes it helps to get them actually written out.

As for the fight between the brothers at the end, I'm actually glad it happened. I get where Dean is coming from. He's focused on the goal (getting out from under Chuck's control) and especially since he and Sam aren't the sacrificial lambs this time around, he's willing to let Jack do what he needs to do in order to get the job done. Especially since Jack seems to be willing.

(Though I do have issues with the fact that Jack is willing because he thinks it's the ONLY way he can earn forgiveness. But, that is yet another parallel to Sam from S5, who not only knew and accepted that he was the only one who could stop Lucifer, but that it was all apparently his fault and he needed to atone. When in fact, he was just one of MANY who'd had a hand in the Apocalypse happening. And I'd say most of the blame for it fell on the angels and demons. Both Winchesters broke seals without knowing it. Sam thought he was outright preventing a seal from being broken. But regardless... I wonder if Sam sees this too, at least from the perspective of "I know what this feels like, and it sucks, and Jack doesn't deserve this, and there HAS to be some other way!" I guess my point is, emotional manipulation can be considered a form of coersion. Letting Jack believe that this is the only way to be forgiven, holding that forgiveness over his head... how much "free will" is actually going on here if that's why he's willing to go through with it?)

Sorry, tangents. I tend to live in them. *LOL* So yeah, while I don't agree with Dean's mindset, I do get why he feels the way he does. And I'm just glad that Sam wasn't written as "a little upset but willing to let it go." Down to his bones he knows this is wrong. And he let Dean know. And I'm also glad that he's asking the questions he's been asking. It's not a weakness as Dean kind of implied. (With the whole "you can't get the job done.") Sam isn't being wishy-washy. He just cares about what's right. Chuck or no Chuck, it still matters to him. And getting what you want "by any means"... well, he's been down that road himself. He knows how that can end. And plus, he cares about Jack. Like, genuinely cares about him, as a person. Not just what he can do for them. Not because he's powerful. But for who he is.

Also, I don't know if it was intentional, or just the way it came off to me, but I feel like... well, for a lot of this season to be honest, Dean's view of what and who is "vitally important" has severely shrunk down. To like, himself and Sam. I'm not saying he'll tell everyone to go hang. But I feel like maybe as a reaction to finding out how much of their lives were "set-up" he kind of withdrew emotionally. He's more willing to let go of other people they care about. The connections he forms don't feel as strong as they used to even a season or two ago. Like, in "The Gamblers", he felt a little sorry for the other people trapped there, but he was willing to get what they needed and get out of there. Sam was the one who insisted on trying to free them too.

And speaking of Sam, at the end of last season I felt like one of the reasons why he went along with Dean's plan (to lock Jack up) despite how he CLEARLY didn't like it, and everything about it felt wrong, was that at that point in time he severely doubted his own judgement. Because by that point, so many of his decisions which had been made with good intentions and with the best information he'd had at the time wound up blowing-up in his face. (i.e. Training the AU refugees into Hunters to help them with Dean/Michael and then after with just Hunting in general only to have most of them slaughtered by Michael. And him trying to give Nick a chance because he knew what it was like to be branded as evil for things that had been done to you. And he knew what it was like to be a vessel for Lucifer. And then when Nick went off the rails and they caught him that first time, they handed him over to Donna, because he was a human so they thought they'd let human justice deal with him. And then he escaped and hurt Donatello and was trying to free Lucifer, and Sam almost beat him to death but then stopped, because he didn't want to kill him in what he felt was cold blood. (Though I'd argue self-defense would've been valid.) After which Nick hit him repeatedly in the head with a rock and almost DID free Lucifer, which Jack stopped, but that lead to Mary's death and, and, and, the list goes on. So by the time they figured out (somewhat, I don't think they ever got the full story) what happened to Mary, I think Sam was feeling like he couldn't trust his own judgement, and so he let Dean lead. And that... didn't go well.

So I'm glad that he is starting to question again. He'd started to with Mrs. Butters but then everything seemed fine, but as they found out, he should have heeded his instincts and researched her more. And now this. At the end of last season when the idea of Jack dying/being killed came up he said he wasn't okay with it, and he did run to try to stop Dean, but I feel like there's more assertiveness behind it now. He's not saying "Please don't do this!" he's saying "This is NOT okay! I'm NOT going to accept this! No!"

So, in conclusion: Overall I liked the episode, though for me anyway, most of the emotional weight came from the secret Dean was keeping and then what happened when he finally told Sam. I did however like some of the little moments, like young!Dean's line about "We made a pretty good team." and it's callback to the Pilot episode.

I'm sorry this got a bit rambly. Again.

#spn 15x16 spoilers #spn season 15 spoilers #episode review #my thoughts #tangents: i tend to live in them #sam winchester #dean winchester #young!sam winchester #young!dean winchester #weechesters #teenchesters #keeping secrets #the baba yaga

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dontasktheradiodemon · 4 years ago

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❌ OKAY, we got distracted during the intermission—wild animal got in, don’t worry about it, hotel’s fine—but we finally got through the whole show. So, here it is, by popular request, after like FOUR MONTHS of trying to track down this show:

🎵 Alastor gives his opinion on Hamilton 🎵

❌ So I didn’t type out EVERY ONE of Alastor’s reactions, since half of them were just humming along whenever a song used a motif from an earlier song or laughing at the jokes. A lot of the songs I didn’t type anything for. Message him if you’re desperate to know how he feels about your fave. Or if you want to listen to him ramble more about one of the songs, I’m SURE he has more to say, this is just as much as he could squeeze out around, y’know, actually watching the show. But I’m not typing more for him, I’ve done my duty.

❌ He says his favorites were “Helpless,” “Wait For It,” “History Has Its Eyes on You,” “What’d I Miss,” “Room Where It Happens,” “Burn,” “Your Obedient Servant,” and “every single time Lafayette opens his mouth.”

“Alexander Hamilton”

🎶 “There’s not a lot of singing in this song, is there? It’s more like poetry.”

❌ And right after that they switched from rapping to singing, lol. He didn’t say much past that, though—he went quiet pretty quick. Trying to keep up with the lyrics probably. (I’m already missing lines. I don’t care, I’m gonna watch it again with Charlie.)

“Aaron Burr, Sir”

🎶 “Oh, that’s French!”

🎶 “Now, I could be mistaken, but I’m fairly certain that all these gentlemen were white. This is an improvement!”

“The Schuyler Sisters”

❌ He raised an imaginary glass to the first couple lines of the song. I mean he’s not wrong.

🎶 “So does the entire show consist of patter songs? Interesting.”

❌ I had to look it up, a patter song is basically a tongue-twister song with really fast lyrics. They happen in comedy operas and stuff. I think he’s talking about the rap. I think he thinks that rap is just a kind of patter song.

🎶 “I bet this played well in New York.

“Farmer Refuted”

🎶 “This is one of the songs that got recommended to me. I don’t know why. The earlier songs were much more intriguing. This one’s clever enough, but not a stand-out.

“You’ll Be Back”

❌ We got an ask about this one so I elbowed him to pay attention. I probably didn’t need to, he spent half of it laughing.

🎶 “Oh, would you... just—look at that complete lack of dancing. He’s a wax statue. Look at him.”

❌ I said “I love his lack of energy. Go king, give us nothing,” and Alastor slid off the couch laughing, so none of you are allowed to tell him I quoted a meme.

“Right Hand Man”

🎶 “I wish they’d sing more rather than just recite. And I’m not a fan of all the... synthetic beatboxing.”

❌ I think he means the hip hop beats. How does he know what beatboxing is but not hip hop?

🎶 “Oh! ‘Modern Major General’ reference!”

“Helpless”

❌ He spent most of this one sorta bopping along. I think this might be the first song he’s genuinely had fun with. The king being energyless aside.

🎶 “Do you think they have a real electric organ hidden somewhere, or is prerecorded? No, wait, I think live musicians are still legally mandatory at Broadway show, aren’t they?”

❌ I didn’t even hear the organ. Does Broadway really have a law about live music??

“Satisfied”

🎶 “All right. I’m sold.”

“Guns and Ships”

🎶 “This is another of the ones I was sent. It flows better now, hearing it after all the other songs in the same style. Good Lord, he really is fast, isn’t he!”

“Yorktown (The World Turned Upside Down)”

❌ I sorta cheered at the line about immigrants and Alastor laughed at me.

🎶 “More battle scenes need to be danced.”

“Dear Theodosia”

🎶 “The war’s already over? Goodness, this show is moving fast.”

“Non-Stop”

🎶 “This is another one I was sent. I think there’s one more?”

🎶 “Too beatbox-y.”

🎶 “The turning stage is clever! That’s fine staging.”

🎶 “When I first heard this one I thought it was a bit disjointed, I suspected it was reusing themes from earlier in the show. I was right! And I was right that it was the act one finale! Do I know Broadway or do I know Broadway?”

❌ (And during intermission Alastor went to get a snack and that’s when the wild animal got in and distracted us for two hours. ... In retrospect, maybe the animal was supposed to be his snack.)

“What'd I Miss?”

🎶 “This! This is my favorite song so far!”

🎶 “And my favorite coat so far! Look at him!”

❌ Context: Jefferson is wearing a long red coat. Surprise.

🎶 “Listen to this! This is fun! This is jazzy! I even hear a walking bass in there!” (I have no idea what that means.) “Oh, I hope this fellow sticks around! Jefferson buys Louisiana, he’s got to be important to the show, right? They’ll keep him arou—Hold everything, is that Lafayette?!”

❌ I looked it up. Yep, Jefferson is the same performer as Lafayette.

🎶 “When tryouts open in Hell, I’m calling dibs on playing him.”

“Cabinet Battle #1”

🎶 “Never mind, I’m not playing him. That's not my performing style. I can’t do that.”

“Say No to This”

🎶 “Can't relate!”

“Room Where It Happens”

🎶 “This is the last song I was sent.”

🎶 “I don’t even remember this fellow from history. Do you remember him? I’d have forgotten his name by now if Hamilton didn’t keep calling him Burr, Sir.”

🎶 “This one’s fantastic when he gets into it. It still reminds me of ‘Heaven on Their Minds’—one of the good versions, the shouty ones—do you hear what I mean?”

❌ I do not hear what he means. I do not know what he’s talking about.

🎶 “There’s quite a bit going on in this one, isn’t there! Oh, you can hear Jefferson crawling all over this song. I enjoy the Hell out of his sound. All the banjo and ragtime and spirituals and jazz—old school jazz, too, the real stuff—God, this is a good one! I’ll have to listen to the whole show again to pick out the other characters’ musical motifs, Jefferson’s style is easy to pick out because—hah, well, it’s practically the same as my style, isn’t it?”

❌ He kept talking about “Room Where It Happens” halfway into the next song.

“Cabinet Battle #2”

🎶 “Hm... no. No, definitely not my performing style. It's less a patter song and more... spoken word poetry. Isn’t it?”

“Washington On Your Side”

🎶 “... But it COULD be done as a patter song, couldn't it? I could MAKE it my performing style...”

“I Know Him”

🎶 “Bless these lifeless interludes from King George."

"The Adams Administration"

🎶 “Creole WHAT?! Excuse me?! Oh, that better not be a historical quote. Did he go to Hell, is he in Hell?”

❌ If the answer is “yes,” I’m pretty sure Alastor is lowkey planning to hunt him down and spit in his face. Or eat him? IDK, hard to guess with him.

"Burn"

🎶 "This is one of the more Broadway ones, I like this."

“It's Quiet Uptown”

🎶 “Oh, this won't play well in Hell.”

“Your Obedient Servant”

🎶 “Why, when the singing is good, is the background music so annoying?”

❌ It took him like a minute to decide:

🎶 “It's the drum kit.”

❌ He says that, but he’s drumming his fingers in time to the song.

“Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story”

🎶 “They really gave Eliza the best parts, didn’t they?”

❌ Aaand that’s it, we’re done!

❌ But he’s got that “I want to keep talking and Lucifer himself couldn’t shut me up” look he gets sometimes, so uh, feel free to ask him follow-up questions and spare me from having to fend off his chatter.

#((I’ve literally been meaning to do this post for MONTHS))#((ever since a lot of y’all asked him if he’d seen it and then started chucking songs at him to try to get him to watch))#((I hope the folks that wanted to know what Alastor thinks of Hamilton are still around lmao))#music

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imbellarosa · 4 years ago

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For me, Lou's lyrics are pretty easy to interpet & I usually can get the message he is attempting to convey. Because he writes so candidly, you know? He really opens up and is so raw & real. That's not to say Haz isn't, I just feel like even in his songwriting, he hides his true sentiments behind embellished, overly elaborate, obscure metaphors. I feel most musicians use that space to finally let go & feel liberated to really right straight from the soul, y'know? Like Lou, he would never say the

+ things he does in songs out loud but he just lets himself go completely and it's beautiful. I think Haz is a phenomenal lyricist & I adore him to bits but I feel sad he is still so unwilling to be truly vulnerable & open with us y'know? I want to know Harry, I'm sick of Harry Styles™ the brand, the facade. The only song of Lou's that still stumps me is Miss You. I don't think you can just conclude anything based on one song but looking at HS1 too, sure it could be just fighting and drifting

+ apart and miscommunication (or lack thereof) & I feel like I was almost brainwashing into believing what people said over what my own intuition told me, everyone just drilling in: THEY NEVER BROKE UP, I felt like I was less of a supporter to think that, I felt guilty, like I let hl down almost. But as a cynic & a rationalist, it always niggled at me. I believe in the inevitable failure of 97% of relationships at that age. They just don't last. And I'm sure there's someone reading this who's

+ like, well fyi my parents were lab partners in high school and are still together with a bunch of kids. And that's great. Ah a walking paradox, being a romantic & a cynic. Anyway, the thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Certainly, I lean towards it being very likely they did. Hardly any het 'relationships' at that age last. Now bring in two boys who are closeted and in love and in THE boyband of the era and undergone a series of absurd narratives and can't sit next to each other but are told

+ to make out with girls on NYE and hold their hands and strut about to a crowd of adoring fans as the actual person they're with is joyously playing football one minute and on the verge of breaking down the next because what if the fans like this fake relationship more, what if they like -her- more? I could go on & on, but you get the point. Thing is, maybe they did, maybe not. Does it really matter, in the bigger picture? They're together now and for once, I do have faith it'll last this time.

Also sidenote, I hope it's cool to come to your inbox and just go off tangents & rant & ramble. I mean it's kinda too late now lol 😂 but idk I swear I never intend ongoing off multiple tangents but it just inevitably happens?? Hope you can make some sense of my incoherent, mindless bs and at least find it somewhat entertaining. I like talking to you as well. You are the first person who is so open-minded & accepting of diff opinions & genuinely seems to want to hear what's on my mind.

okay well FIRST OF ALL, you are ALWAYS welcome to come rant to me goodness knows I would LOVE to hear from someone else who adores lyric analysis as much as I do! If you’re looking for anyone else to chat with, @louciernagas has some amazing analysis of her own and also adores song lyrics and might have a different take than mine! But here’s my take:

I think Harry processes stories differently than Louis, and I think it really really shows in their songwriting. For example, Harry had “raconteur” as his Twitter bio for a while, I’ve heard. ‘Raconteur’ is ‘storyteller’ in French, and my conclusion from that is that he likes to see himself as a storyteller. So he mostly writes abstract notions and large pictures and feelings and ideas that he’s felt over the years, and when he fills it in, he’s telling a story. It’s easier for him, I think, to process things if he can remove himself from it. If you look at the first draft lyrics for Lights Up that Tyler Johnson spilled the other month, they read, “lights can’t know their way out the dark running through your heart. Lights can’t help you know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. The final draft of this line reads “All the lights couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart. Lights up and they know who you are. Do you know who you are?”. I think it’s worth mentioning that the primary difference between the first version of this song and this one is the addition of a first-person pronoun in the final draft.

Either way, this song would have been about him, and HIS self-discovery and HIS liberation, right? But the way that he chose to write it at first was without placing himself into the story. And like...I think he does that a lot. And then, of course, he does the reverse, too. He says “I” did this or “I” did that and it may not be him at all. I’ll tell you a funny trend I’ve noticed is that the songs that seem most personal to him are about someone else in broad strokes, or about himself in broad strokes. But I think it’s because it’s easier for him to tell true stories if he doesn’t have to say that they’re about him.

For Louis, I would say it’s the reverse: he HAS to make his stories about himself because it’s the only way he CAN tell his stories. He’s learned to use his words as a weapon against everyone who thought he was too young, not good enough, not kind enough, too stupid, that he didn’t have enough star power, etc. He’s ALWAYS had to prove them wrong, and the only way he had was his music. So he SAID that they would go out and drink cheap wine until sunrise and that they lived in this *specific* apartment complex and that he would tell the truth if his partner wanted him too. He SAID that he’d like to go to the pub every sunday, if he could (and I think the music video for JLY even names the pub haha), that the reason he has done every single thing he has is for the other person. He HAD to say it, not for us, but for himself. HE had to tell the stories he needed to, and he did. And THAT is what makes his album - and all of his songs - so so special to me. They have that element of “fighting back” as well as of telling stories.

I, personally, tell stories like Harry does. I like to talk about things I know or have experienced as if I’m coming at them from a different angle, because it’s easier on my heart that way, sometimes. Sometimes, the only way I have to say the truest things I know are to make someone else say them or to talk about them as if it were about another person. That’s kind of what fantasy is, in a way. It’s what storytelling is. But I *so* admire the autobiographical quality that Walls has to it, because I would be terrified.

And as for ‘do I think they broke up?’ I’m very very much in the “who cares” camp - just like you! Maybe? Maybe they did in 2016 at some point. But like...as evidenced by the entire quarantine (and the last like..year and a half), they aren’t broken up NOW, and that’s what I’m gonna go on. And everything else doesn’t really matter, you know? The rest is confetti.

#anon asks #i answer #i have friends that i've had since 16 #check my #tequila #tag #for my very best friend in the whole world #and we met when we were 16 #and like it IS different between friends and romantic relationships but its all love and it all takes work you know?#so maybe they were just extra willing to put extra work in because they knew that in ten years time they would be who they are now #which is mostly private and REALLY successful and happy #i would guess #Anonymous #long post for ts

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zodiyack · 5 years ago

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Siren Seduction

Alternate title: Not So Bad After All

Kind of requested?: captivatedbycillianmurphy said: I’m actually a professional mermaid, it would be cool if you wrote a story about Tommy finding me by accident “in tail !” LOL🤣🧜🏻‍♀️ Siren Seduction !

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x reader

Warnings: partial nudity mention, mermaids, swearing

Note: So there are two different ��Siren Seduction” stories. I didn’t know if you meant that you wanted an actual mermaid or not, so this one is x reader where he finds his human lover in a fake tail but not on accident, and then the next one is where he finds his actual mermaid lover on accident. (I know you said accident but I forgot when I was writing, hope you like it!)

ALSO! I don’t know if any of you guys have a preferred tail color, so I just went with one. Feel free to send a request with a specific color or tell me a color before I write the second version!

Y/m/n = Your Mermaid Name

masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

alternate story

Tommy ran throughout his house. Charlie was on his hip, resting his head upon his father’s shoulder. They were on a mission to find Y/n. Earlier that day, Tommy asked why she was so secretive. Y/n told Tommy that she did some stuff he would find strange and that’s why she was worried how he’d feel. He tried to reassure her, telling her that nothing she does can be weird, let alone affect his love for her.

She didn’t believe him, but she nodded and walked away. And now that Charlie and him were trying to find her, it seemed like she impossible to find.

In all truth, Pol and Ada were the only ones Y/n told of her hobbies. She put on mermaid shows for kids down at the aquarium in the zoo. They cleaned out a special tank just for her, amazed with her ability to hold her breath for 5 minutes at a time. Her trick was to move around a bit so it only seemed natural that she went up to get air.

Charlie had seen his mum once, but he couldn’t remember since he didn’t realize it was her. Polly had taken Karl and Charlie, showing them the amazing, “y/m/n” and her wonderful tail. They were amazed to say the least. Polly and Ada also thought it looked fun, and they agreed with their opinion after Y/n got them to swim with her.

Swim suits weren’t the most flattering looking with a mermaid tail, but Y/n refused to go topless, as she worked with kids and even if she didn’t, she wasn’t too keen on other people, who were definitely not her husband, seeing her chest. So instead, she wore her underwear.

The woman’s underwear was a white top (tank-top kind of top) with a connected bottom, and the bottoms were white shorts. There were a few different kinds, some lacy, some connected on the sides rather than the whole waist, and some even had cute little frills or bows. Y/n favored her frilly looking one, for it covered more skin and still was adorable.

Her tail, clothed in semi-visible sparkles and a gorgeous baby pink that faded into teal. It was designed by the three women, and boy were they proud of it. The man who owned the aquarium continued asking Y/n to do her shows after the first one. He didn’t expect it to become so popular, the woman submerged underwater, bathed in bright colors with her hair floating around her so elegantly.

Sadly, it was time her husband found out. And that wasn’t decided by any of the girls. It was decided by Tommy himself.

He pushed through the door to the room Pol was in, not giving two shits about the company that was over. “Pol. Where’s my wife?” His tone was slightly aggressive, making his question more of a demand.

“Working.” Poor Tommy didn’t know that Y/n begged his aunt and sister not to share anything, but he did know that one of them would give in at some point.

“Y/n doesn’t work. You and I both know that. The only work she does, is with me and the boys, and I don’t see us doing any jobs currently.”

“Thomas, I have guests. Your wife is working. And if I were you, I’d take Charlie elsewhere, he looks rather bored.”

Tommy grunted. He wouldn’t accept defeat. He did have to respect that his aunt was in a meeting, she did it for him too, so there was that. Charlie and him would just have to go see Ada. Hopefully she was an easier nut to crack.

The Shelby adjusted his son onto his back, earning a delighted giggle from the young boy. If he was going to find Ada, why not entertain the “rather bored” Charlie while he’s at it? He took off running slightly, arms securing Charlie to his back.

The fun was actually fun to Tommy. He made note do it more often. Not only was the playing fun, but it warmed his heart to hear his son giggle like that. He finally set him down, holding his hand and guiding him over to the couch Ada sat on. She looked very concentrated on a photo, but quickly flipped it over and smiled at her nephew.

“Ahem, Ada.”

“Yes, Tommy? Is this about Y/n? I could hear you and Pol.” Ada lifted Charlie onto her lap after she finished her sentence. She made funny faces at him while her brother spoke.

“Yes actually. I’d like to know where my wife is, or where she is ‘working’.”

Ada’s eyes never left Charlie when she spoke, too busy making more faces to get him to laugh. “I can’t tell you anything Tom, I’m sorry.”

“You can. She’s my fucking wife, and I demand to know where the fuck she is.”

“Tom. Language.”

“Ada. Where is she?”

“Thomas. I’m serio-” She was interrupted by Charlie snatching the photo from where she had set it. He didn’t recognize the mermaid, but he knew right away that it was something from the aquarium.

“Dad! Fishy!”

“What is it Charlie?”

His sister’s eyes widened. That was Tommy’s clue. He got her. She pulled the photo from her nephew’s hands before he could show his father. It earned a hurt look from the little boy, but she was more focused on protecting the secret of her sister-in-law.

“Fine! I won’t tell you what she does or anything, but I can tell you to go to the zoo. Ask for the special show.”

Special show? Zoo? There was nothing special about the zoo. Why would she work in a zoo? Were women even allowed to work there? Tommy didn’t know because originally, he didn’t give a fuck.

“Are you absolutely sure Ada? Not just fuckin’ with me?”

“I’m sure.” she lifted Charlie and handed him to Tommy, “Charlie here’ll know it when he sees it, isn’t that right love?”

“Right!”

. . .

Tommy walked into the zoo, Charlie on his shoulders. It was a bit odd, seeing the Peaky Blinders’ leader walking around with his son in London in the zoo of all places. It also went against Tommy’s safety rule, however just this once he’d allow it to happen, only because he accompanied his son. He didn’t care that it was a family place that had security, it only was okay with Tommy if he was there with Charlie.

When asking about what Ada had instructed him to, they were told to follow someone to the special show. The person was now walking in front of them, rambling on about how amazed they thought him and his son would be.

Charlie had to get off of Tommy’s shoulders, however he did remain in his fathers arms. Tommy’s hip just seemed to be Charlie’s favorite place. Lucky for him, it was one of Tommy’s favorite places for Charlie to be, that way he would never get lost or pulled away from him.

The lights when down, the spotlights pointed at the glass, Tommy took a seat, Charlie sat on his father’s lap. It confused Tommy slightly, how excited his son was. He was so giddy and fidgety. But why? For what reason? It was just a stupid zoo.

Music played, it sounded so soft and calming. A woman appeared on the other side of the glass. Tommy recognized her within the first glance. He caught her eyes and smiled genuinely. Her hair was floating around her, decorated with shells, beads, and other similar stuff. Her face was free of any makeup besides a few gems that were stuck onto her cheeks. Her tail, it looked so magnificent, it looked as if it were real.

How could someone be dressed kind of goofy, but still looks so god damn breathtaking?

She swam around the tank, waving at children and adults. She then swam back up, but fortunately for the crowd, she came back down and continued. How did his wife learn to do this? How did she do it behind his back all this time? Those questions left Tommy’s mind as quickly as they had entered them. He became entranced with his wife’s show.

Charlie whispered into his father’s ear, “Dad? Are you enjoying Miss Y/m/n’s show? I’ve only seen her once, but I can’t wait to tell mummy I’ve seen her again!”

Another smile found it’s way onto Tommy’s face, this one full of amusement for the mermaid and for his son being completely unaware. “Yes Charlie, Y/m/n is pretty good at what she does. I’m sure mummy would love to hear about her.”

Both males attention turned back to the mermaid. A child ran over and put their hand on the glass. Their parents tried to quietly yell at them to come back, but Y/n was quite the opposite. She placed her hand over where the child’s was, smiling when the little one giggled.

She spotted Charlie again and made a beckoning motion with her finger. Y/n swam up to the surface. It was unknown to the audience, but she had asked the man in charge for a favor. She swam back down, smiling sweetly at her viewers.

The lights flicked back on.

“Y/m/n has asked a favor of me! She’d like for all the children, and adults if they’d like, to come up to the front and greet her. She can’t talk to you, but she’d love to do it in her own special way. So, if you’d like to, feel free to walk up here. Just no pushing!” The man walked back out of the room after he had finished announcing what was needed to be announced.

The kids rushed to the front. Charlie was one of the few who managed to get into Y/n’s line of sight, Tommy behind him. This was because Y/n asked specifically that they could see her and vice versa.

She waved at Charlie, pressing her hand onto the glass. He did the same, and Y/n pressed her other hand for Tommy. The man hesitated, but did as his son had.

After a while, people started to leave. Y/n was still in the tank, having what seemed like interesting conversations with some of the kids. She preformed tricks, spins, flips and others. At some point she had blown bubbles into the water for extra fun. It resulted in her needing to go up for air sooner, but her mind, it was totally worth it.

Finally, it was only Tommy and Charlie in the audience. Y/n pressed both of her hands against the glass, removing one and blowing a kiss to Tommy. Charlie’s eyes widened. Tommy pretended to catch the kiss and blow one back. The interaction only made Charlie’s eyes wider.

“Dad! You can’t kiss Y/m/n, she’s not mum!”

Y/n heard her son, a smile appearing on her face, a matching one on Tommy’s. It wasn’t the time for Charlie to find out that she wasn’t actually a mermaid, it wasn’t time for him to find out that it was actually his mother. They both agreed, words unnecessary, that they’d tell him when he was older. No one was going to spoil his imagination while they were still there.

The manager announced that the show was over and it was time to send Y/m/n back to her home. She nodded and waved to her boys, swimming to the back of the tank, where she would be out of sight, and climbing out.

Tommy and Charlie walked out of the zoo. Tommy felt happy, his heart felt warmer and the smile he was fighting felt bigger than ever. He bought ice cream for him and Charlie, the reasoning being how good of a mood he was in.

Maybe the zoo isn’t so bad after all.

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jippy-kandi · 5 years ago

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Digimon Adventure: Last Evolution Kizuna Movie Review

I've seen the film. It was pretty good! Spoilers under the cut.

So, before I watched it, I did read a few bits and pieces of random spoilers. However, I did NOT read the novel – because I wanted to judge the film on its own merits and not be thinking about “what the novel did better”. But I knew things like most characters were sidelined, who the villain was, and how the movie ends. I still have not read the novel.

This is not a “proper” review of the movie -- because what’s the fun in that? You can google actual reviews of the movie by anime websites, if that’s what you’re after. These are just my personal thoughts, impressions and fangirl ramblings (I bias Yamato hard). Plus, a few comments from two others I went to the screening with for a different perspective.

It was like nerd city at the movie theatre, LOL. So. Many. Nerds. Some people even brought Digimon plush toys to the screening! I’ve never witnessed that before. It was great though, being surrounded by so many Digimon fans. I think the cinema was more than half full -- and this was an 800-seat cinema! 400+ Digimon fans? Whoa! I actually thought like only 20 people would show up, LOL.

I tried to put the following thoughts in “order” but some of it isn’t due to the nature of what they’re about . . . plus, I couldn’t 100% remember what order the scenes were in.

Screen time distribution (most to least): Taichi/Yamato, Koushirou, the 02 kids (roughly: Takeru, Hikari, Daisuke, Miyako, Ken, Iori), Mimi, Jou, a hamburger, a whistle, a beer, Sora. (Sora got shafted hard.)

Taichi was exactly just Taichi, which is 1000x better than tri. Taichi. He really did seem like a 22-year-old version of Adventure Taichi, beer-drinking and porn-watching and all. Thank you, Toei. Please don’t fuck him up in the reboot. (Although maybe that’s the idea?)

Yamato is the coolest motherfucker on a motorcycle. He looked SO DAMN GOOD in this movie. There were even a few gratuitous shots of his arse for no apparent reason, LOL. Or maybe that’s just me thinking, whenever he’s bending over or his back’s to us, “That’s a nice arse.” XD (HE IS THE ONLY 2D CHARACTER I THIRST FOR, I PROMISE. I’m actually engaged to Jungkook of BTS.)

Koushirou was the same old Koushirou we all know and love, doing smart stuff and generally being useful. He has no pointed interest in clothes or girls (Koumi began and died in tri., you guys). When it was shown that he was a company president, some people in the audience laughed, lol.

Takeru was pretty bland. I guess tri. Takeru will always be the definitive Takeru to me. This Takeru definitely evolved straight from 02 Takeru (who was also bland AF). But he was fine? I miss overly confident, charming Takeru. Also, where was your crush on your big bro??? lol

Hikari . . . was also fine? I don’t have much to say about her. I like tri. Hikari better (because she was cute? *shallow*). This Hikari was just serviceable. I think because everyone really is just playing second fiddle to Taichi and Yamato, they didn’t really add charms to the other characters. They just . . . serve the plot. And it seemed, at the beginning of the movie, that Takeru and Hikari were going to be in it a lot -- but they have most of their scenes in the first third-ish of the movie before disappearing until the end.

Daisuke was also exactly the same. But I’ve never been a fan of him, nor do I hate him (though he did get on my nerves in 02 sometimes . . .). I just don’t care about him, or any of the 02 kids, personally. :P

I don’t think Ken had a personality in this movie, LOL. He was fine, though. Serviceable. I’m sorry I lack opinions here, but there really wasn’t much to go on. He has no Kaiser issues or anything, he just seems like a normal, well-adjusted kid . . . with no personality, lol.

Iori didn’t have a personality either -- but everyone has always known that. Ha! XP He is just an extra reading lines. I found it odd that he seems so short though? I kept thinking he was still a 9-year-old because of the height difference between him and the others . . . I think Toei forgot that HE IS 17 AND THUS SHOULD BE VERY CLOSE TO FULL ADULT HEIGHT. Puberty is amazing, Toei! (Yeah, he can just be a really short person, I know. I wouldn’t have made that design choice, though. Especially when he’s short compared to Daisuke . . . who is short compared to Yamato . . . and Iori really is a midget.)

Miyako . . . it’s probably due to her voice actress, but she was SO LOUD. And I found her annoying because of it. In fact, she was the only annoying character in the movie to me. Loud people can be charming . . . but I didn’t find her charming. Sorry, Miyako fans. =\

Mimi has an e-commerce startup at 21, lol. OK, you go girl. She was definitely shafted, but she was in it a bit more than Jou I think, and definitely more than poor Sora. Probably a few minutes? Yeah, not a lot, especially compared to Taichi and Yamato. In one of her (four?) scenes, she loses consciousness and ends up in the hospital -- and Taichi, Koushirou and Jou are in her hospital room when Yamato bursts in and goes, “Jou!” You know, instead of acknowledging Mimi, THE COMATOSE FRIEND IN THE HOSPITAL BED. I just found it funny that’s how they chose to frame that scene. :P

Jou only had a few lines, but he was still in it more than Sora. But he is really just a doctor here. He could’ve been an extra hired for a doctor role and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, lol. Oh, Toei, please give all the characters almost-equal screen time in the reboot? Please???

Sora had like four lines and thirty seconds of screen time, TOTAL. I think the decision to hold her back from THE ENTIRE PLOT was SOLELY to have the scene where she reacts to Taichi blowing the whistle, so you know that the sound is going out of Neverland and reaching the real world (or whatever dramatic effect they were going for). I really think that’s it. That, or her voice actress did something terrible to Toei and they’re punishing her. :P

The movie basically opens up with Parrotmon attacking. Takeru was the first to be shown, then Hikari, then Taichi. Taichi is wearing those special goggles Koushirou made for him and he looked goofy AF lol. At one point, Greymon tackles Parrotmon into a building where you see some people inside running away from the rubble. My sister said (without knowing anything about tri.): “Does Tai not care that his digimon definitely just killed some people in that building?” I chuckled because . . . well. ;)

Yamato enters the scene COOL AS FUCK on his motorcycle (most of his entrance is shown in a clip that Toei released) and thank you Toei for doing that for him. He deserves a showy entrance. :) Although I do find it funny that he’s obsessed with motorcycles, given I still remember giggling as a kid at him NOT liking riding on the back of some guy’s scooter in Digimon: The Movie.

The music was nice and nostalgic and I have no complaints.

There is a quick scene of Yamato seeing a kid in a music store getting a harmonica, and watching a street performer singing. Obviously he’s thinking about his passion for music as a kid/teen (and his childhood in general?) and it was a nice touch. I think by the end of the movie you would’ve understood that Yamato was letting go of his past (childhood) and heading towards the future (adulthood).

A friend of Yamato’s makes a comment to him that Japan’s Self-Defense Forces are going to recruit him into the military due to his experience as a Chosen Child. Yamato replies, “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard”. BUT . . . this is Kizuna telling you EXACTLY what is going to happen, lol. I actually “predicted” Yamato’s career path years ago -- but it wasn’t hard, as there is really only two ways it could’ve gone, lol. Military test pilot or commercial air pilot -- which one, especially given the context Kizuna just gave us, is more likely? ;)

Yamato is shown wearing GLASSES in class (looking nerd-hot AF). Toei Animation must not have researched Yamato’s astronaut career as intensively as I did, and therefore did not know that astronauts need 20/20 vision lol. Oh well, he can get it corrected. :p (Or, he doesn’t actually need glasses but WEARS THEM AS A FASHION STATEMENT. Because I can believe that. XD)

I think Yamato had about three different outfits in the movie? And he looked good in all of them. Are there people out there who think he’s not fashionable? I'd find that opinion strange, given the fact that the staff behind 02 and tri. were actively designing him as the well-dressed cool guy of the group. He wears exactly the kind of clothes the well-dressed cool guys at my high school/university wore. Sure, sometimes they force green tops on him purely for nostalgic reasons and it therefore clashes -- there is only so much you can do with a green top -- but overall, he is supposed to come across as someone who cares about his appearance. If you don’t think so, you’re either not into fashion or you aren’t aware of 2005-2010 fashion as a teen/young adult. (If Yamato was a millionaire, I’m sure he’d dress identical to BTS with super expensive clothes lol. But he dresses very well for a “normal” person. :p)

Taichi was shown with two of his friends who were asking him about his aspirations or something, and the guy looked like an unattractive nerd. My sister said: “I didn’t like how they showed Tai with sloppy friends, but showed Matt with good-looking people.” LOL. Her favourite as a kid was Taichi, BTW. XD;

Menoa and Imura were . . . OK characters. Menoa seemed likeable enough at first, but when her real intentions were revealed she turned into a typical, crazy, possessed villain. Imura was really just there to service the plot, like a necessary extra on set. There was nothing more to him.

Menoa’s English is terrible. And it’s very noticeable because she inserts random English words into her Japanese sentences, lol. I laughed when Koushirou told her that her Japanese is very good (because SHE IS ACTUALLY FLUENT IN JAPANESE . . . and not so much in English). Yes, I know it’s because it’s a Japanese voice actress -- but it was still funny every time she spoke heavily accented English, followed by fluent Japanese. :P

Menoa’s partner digimon, Morphomon, was cute in design. Eosmon was the villain digimon and was Menoa’s attempt at recreating Morphomon, who disappeared on her. Does this sound kind of familiar? lol

Omegamon devolves into Koromon and Tsunomon when fighting against Eosmon. Back in Koushirou’s office, Menoa explains that you only have a limited amount of time with your digimon before they disappear and that fighting accelerates it. Taichi has a circle of lights on his digivice that lose a bar of light every time he fights with Agumon. When the lights all disappear, Agumon will disappear. Koushirou and Takeru look at their digivices to check if they’ve got it – they don’t, and they are relieved. Yamato then checks his and . . . well. He has it. His eyes start watering and he storms out of the room saying something along the lines of his bond with Gabumon will not be broken. I FUCKING LOVED THIS SCENE. Top 3 in the movie for me, personally. We all have weaknesses. Emo Yamato is mine, lol. I like it when he gets so emotional he cries in front of other people. :3

The “porn stash” scene with Agumon at Taichi’s apartment was HILARIOUS. The funniest scene of the movie. Everyone in the cinema laughed so hard. It was Taichi’s reaction that sold it -- it was BRILLIANT. The magazines actually had girls on the cover wearing bikinis, so, at least Agumon kept his innocence! lol

Gennai randomly appears in Taichi’s apartment to confirm the thing everyone should’ve always known (but that they just made up for Kizuna and which DEFINITELY led to “creative differences” with Digimon series director Hiroyuki Kakudou). This, of course, would be the whole idea that the more you “grow up”, the more your bond with your partner digimon breaks until, eventually, they disappear. Does the idea have problems? Yep. Menoa lost her partner digimon Morphomon at age 14 because she decided to accelerate her learning and go to university . . . meanwhile, Koushirou is the president of his own freaking company and still has Tentomon by his side. Yeah, OK, Kizuna. And, sure, you can argue that it’s about BECOMING AN ADULT -- but I think you’d just be drawing lines where YOU want to draw them. How mature is 14-year-old Menoa to be an “adult”? Is Koushirou really not mature enough at 21? And what about Jou, who I definitely think is an adult in all sense of the word? And so on. So arguments about this I think are valid, but at the same time . . . it’s Digimon. I think it’s a flawed idea but I also just shrug and accept it as it is, lol.

I “love” how Gennai just pops in when it’s convenient to the plot. Hello Gennai, what’s dark Gennai up to? Have you seen him around licking underaged girls anywhere? No? You’re just popping by to confirm shit to Taichi? OK, cool. See you in the tri. sequel, never. (He actually does give Taichi a reasonable answer as to why the growth/bond thing was never brought up before: that it’s like talking about how long you have to live. I bought it.)

Yamato is basically the reason the 02 kids are even in the movie, lol. He asks them to investigate Imura and Menoa for him and they do so. They contact him later on with info and they ask that he take them out for okonomiyaki (which is awful by the way, lol) as thanks and he smiles and says he can do that. This is just a nice exchange between them. :)

Yamato eventually confronts Imura (or is it the other way around, lol) and Imura HAS A GUN. Which was surprising to me because I remember that in the English dub, Puppetmon’s gun was censored, so seeing a gun in a Digimon movie was a little surprising. Anyway, Yamato doesn’t seem concerned by the fact that this dude can just shoot him dead, lol. Gabumon is with him, but still. Imura can still kill you before Gabumon kills him, you know. XD But it’s all good because Imura turns out to be an undercover FBI agent who wants to arrest Menoa, THE REAL VILLAIN. I was spoiled with this so no surprise.

There is a scene where Yamato has his hand tenderly on Takeru’s face because he lost consciousness. It was sweet, but I would’ve liked it more if Takeru had more of a personality in the film so I could actually care about him, lol. Yamato’s such a caring big brother, though. :)

Yamato was perfect in this movie. PERFECT. I had a few issues with his characterisation in tri. (I think he was, overall, about 80% Yamato), but he was ALL YAMATO, ALL THE TIME here. He is my favourite fictional character of all time, so DEAL WITH THE BIAS. I love him and, honestly, Yamato>Taichi all day, every day. I totally understand you, Sora. DON’T @ ME TAICHI STANS. XP

The ONLY minor quibble I had was that Yamato asks Taichi if they should really try to save the other kids, because fighting means it speeds up their bonds breaking. My quibble is: YAMATO IS NOT FUCKING SELFISH. He’s SO selfless. He would fight to save the other kids NO QUESTIONS, even if it meant he’s accelerating the destruction of his bond with Gabumon. But I give this scene a huge pass because it basically had to go like that, because ONE person out of Taichi/Yamato had to be reluctant so that the OTHER person pushes forward and has a “hero” moment. And who’s going to get that “hero” moment? The actual hero and MAIN CHARACTER of Digimon, Taichi, of course. SO I GET IT. I even agree and would’ve written it that way too, for Taichi to be the leader and reassure Yamato that this is what they’re doing (unlike in tri. where Yamato 1000% deserved the mantle of LEADER and Taichi could’ve whinged off the edge of a cliff and I. WOULD. NOT. CARE.). BUT I will still rant about this 30 second scene in my blog and scream to the universe that Yamato Ishida is the most selfless fictional being on the face of the planet and you better fucking know it. :)

Menoa is Maki 2.0. As soon as Menoa is revealed as being behind the evil stuff, she is instantly psychotic. So Maki 2.0 she definitely is. But . . . I don’t really care. Could Toei have been more original? Yes. But I can’t be bothered to criticise them for recycling a plot, because I’d rather criticise tri. for doing it in the first place, LOL. OK, honestly? At least Menoa’s plot had an actual resolution, instead of Maki being revealed and then . . . fucking off out of the entire series so abruptly. Like??? Kizuna followed through with it, tri. did not. That’s why I’m OK with the rehash, because Kizuna did tri.’s plot better. (Maki’s plot would’ve been good if the tri. writers didn’t get lazy AF at the end and just . . . didn’t . . . finish it.) I might also be giving Kizuna a huge pass because it made me feel things, lol.

The movie really picks up after Menoa reveals her intentions and they end up in Neverland (a place she created in the Digital World?) where she claims all the Chosen Children can stay as children with their partner digimon forever. It became a lot more interesting after that. But that’s also near the climax, lol.

In Neverland, all the kids who have lost consciousness are in their child forms (from the first season) and are basically Menoa’s puppets. This was really cool; it not only gave you nostalgic feels to see them like that, but it was also pretty creepy to see them with glowing red eyes. The Chosen Children, as kids, attack Taichi and Yamato. I laughed when Patamon attacked Yamato’s face and Tentomon tackled Taichi, lol. But I have to say though that Sora’s absence was VERY glaring here. Because . . . everyone was there, but her. :(

Other Chosen Children from the past are present in Neverland too. I FREAKING SAW MICHAEL, MIMI’S AMERICAN FRIEND, STANDING BEHIND HER. I was so surprised at his appearance that I didn’t catch anyone else. There were definitely others, but I didn’t make them out at all because I was so caught off-guard with Michael. XD; (I DON’T EVEN GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIM, LOL.)

Someone said that Taichi called out Meiko’s name in the movie . . . well, I’m pretty sure that Yamato does, and he calls her by her last name, “Mochizuki”. This is when they’re in Neverland and Menoa shows them her “collection” of Chosen Children. Meiko pops up for one second. It was like Kizuna went, “Oh! Hey, tri. existed by the way. Now let’s move on.” lol

While being attacked by the Chosen “puppets” in Neverland, Taichi manages to reach his hand out and grab Hikari’s whistle and blow it -- effectively “waking” them all up from their puppet states. Everyone in the cinema got hit with audible FEELS, because when Taichi blew Hikari’s whistle the screen flashbacked to that scene from the first movie. I found the collective audience reaction more powerful than the scene itself, lol. But I really liked it, too. :)

So while everyone else is in Neverland . . . SORA IS IN HER APARTMENT HUGGING PIYOMON. Thanks, Sora, you’re a real friend. *cough* After Taichi’s whistle blow, she intuitively knows what’s going on and says she believes in everyone . . . THANKS AGAIN, SORA, YOU CHEERLEADER. OK, look: I do think it is pretty selfish of Sora to choose not to fight. I understand all the reasoning behind it, I even think SHE DESERVES TO BE SELFISH FOR ONCE etc., and I am fine with it -- but I still think it’s selfish. Because it is. And that’s OK, nobody is perfect, and people are selfish from time to time. If only it wasn’t glaringly obvious that her selfishness happened only because Toei just wanted her out of the way for most of the film . . . her absence, as stated before, really was noticeable in scenes where literally everyone else was included but her. (I’d also just like to point out that her voice actress was STILL CREDITED THIRD after Taichi and Yamato in the ending credits. LOLing forever -- such little contribution, such big recognition. XD)

But don’t get me wrong, I love Sora. I really fucking do. Taichi used to be my second favourite character in Digimon for a long, long time -- but Sora managed to dethrone him from second place (fucking Yamato probably helped, LOL). I think, screen time-wise, Kizuna did her a bigger disservice than Our War Game did. Yes, let that sink in. Remember how little she was in that movie? It’s worse in Kizuna. But story-wise and character-wise? Kizuna probably did better, because Sora was angry over a hairclip in Our War Game lmao. If you haven’t already, check out her memorial story short “To Sora” that Toei Animation released online. It’s six minutes of Sora . . . which is 5 and a half more minutes than in Kizuna! XD;

There’s a scene where Agumon and Gabumon tell Taichi and Yamato that they like watching them grow up. It was very touching, but also very brief. It was one of my favourite moments though. It made me have quick flashbacks in my mind of itty bitty Taichi and Yamato growing up into who they are now. The enormity of everything they had been through since the first season. THE HISTORY. THE GROWTH. It hit me right in the feels.

Taichi and Yamato’s homoerotic-ness was actually toned down a lot, especially compared to tri.. They don’t have forced disputes where they get angry at each other and the gay sexual tension shoots through the roof. They’re just . . . friends. Two dudes who drink beer together and moan about their lives. The partnership between them and their digimon were the focus of the movie, more so than the friendship between them. I actually liked this, and I usually care more about the human connections over the human-digimon ones.

“Shipping moments” – if you squint hard enough. Takari: At the start, Takeru shields Hikari from harm. Sorato: While Taichi informs Yamato about the lives of some of the other Chosen Children, Yamato lets Taichi know what Sora is up to -- that she’s seriously studying flower arranging. Kenyako: Ken asks Miyako, and only Miyako, if she’s OK (when Daisuke is right next to her). Taiora: Sora says Taichi’s name when he blows the whistle in Neverland and she hears it all the way in the real world. (My sister legit whispered to me: “SHE DIDN’T SAY MATT’S NAME.” BITCH, he ain’t the one whistling! XP) Now, Digimon Adventure tri. shipbaited hard -- but Kizuna did not do this. All of these very small moments felt very organic and passed as if they were a natural part to the story, instead of something shoehorned in with the explicit purpose of shipbaiting. I really liked this approach. The Sorato one in particular (surprise, surprise) said a lot about Yamato’s relationship to Sora without being explicit about it. He knows what she’s up to when her childhood best friend doesn’t? Yeah, those two are definitely hooking up after classes. :P (I jest. But it does tell you with one sentence that Yamato and Sora keep in touch, which I appreciated. You gotta do that if you’re having babies together within the decade, you know?)

There were next to NO evolution sequences. I might remember it happening once or twice? Max. And . . . that was a REALLY lame choice. Especially when Agumon and Gabumon evolve to their newest forms; Taichi and Yamato are just floating with them up into the air and then, poof, the new evolutions are shown. Google tells me they’re just called Agumon -Bond of Courage- and Gabumon -Bond of Friendship- respectively . . . they were not named in the movie. Here’s the thing: I don’t really care about digimon and evolutions. But it was so underwhelming; they really should’ve amped it up with an evolution sequence to be like HERE BE THESE NEW AWESOME FUCKING DIGIMON ‘bout to kick your arse. It seems like such a no-brainer that I really don’t know who would sign off on a evolution sequence not happening. Oh well. As for the designs? They are OK, but definitely could’ve been better. I think “cool AF” when I see Omegamon and all his forms. I don’t think that of these new evolutions lol. (But my sister liked them and thought they looked cool, so . . .)

Also . . . the fighting scenes in this movie were pretty bad. Very underwhelming. Our War Game and Diablomon Strikes Back did a lot better. I both like and dislike the animation style in Kizuna. I do actually like the art of it, like how it looks. But I kinda dislike how it’s actually animated, because it doesn’t really look like they’re moving fluidly enough. It’s a bit too choppy. I just expected the fighting/action scenes to be more exciting (I was hoping Our War Game-level) and of a higher standard. But they are not, unfortunately.

Everyone in the cinema audibly GASPED when Taichi and Yamato were just talking to Agumon and Gabumon after the final battle, and then they turned around and they . . . just . . . disappeared. And then Taichi and Yamato CRIED. SO. HARD. And I actually started repeating in my head, DO NOT CRY, DO NOT CRY, lol. I didn’t cry! Almost, though. :p I really loved this scene. And I really think, narratively, it would’ve worked A LOT better for the movie to end on this scene. The actual ending scene that comes after it felt a little too out of place and tacked on to me. More on that later.

There was a small smattering of applause at the end of the movie, lol. But I did not clap, because I find that weird. :p (Even though I clapped, alone in my house, when Parasite won Best Picture at the Oscars LOL.)

The ending credits showed different photos of the kids. Unfortunately, I . . . don’t really remember most of them. XD; I think I saw Sora arranging flowers? And maybe Daisuke and Ken having dinner? I definitely saw Iori doing kendo, because I thought it was cool. And the one photo I definitely remember for sure: Yamato standing in front of a space shuttle. I stan astronaut!Yamato so hard, you guys have no idea how happy it made me that he’s pursuing his dream omfg my little baby boy. XD;

This is definitely Taichi and Yamato’s movie. Everyone else is just playing supporting/cameo roles -- some more than others, as outlined way above. (Well, except Menoa I suppose . . . and Koushirou to the extent that he’s just needed to be the Digi IQ.) But if you’re NOT a fan of either Taichi or Yamato? I think, though you’ll probably love all the nostalgia bits, you’ll also be really disappointed -- especially considering this is supposed to be the final instalment of the original Adventure continuity. It’s a great “love letter” to Taichi and Yamato specifically, but not for the other characters, sadly.

I saw the movie with my sister (a non-fan who used to like it as a kid) and a friend (a casual fan now, but she used to like it a lot years ago). I’ll refer to them as “S”(ister) and “F”(riend), respectively.

After the movie ended:

S: “Did you cry? Because two guys beside me were literally sobbing. SOBBING.” *Judging.* (LMAO.)

What was our favourite part of the movie?

Top 3 scenes for me were Yamato storming off with his eyes watering when he realises his bond with Gabumon has an expiry; the brief “speech” Agumon and Gabumon give to Taichi and Yamato about wanting to see them grow up; and Taichi and Yamato crying at Agumon and Gabumon vanishing. EMO EMO EMO.

S: “Sora doing fuck-all.” (LMAO.) F: “Yeah! What was up with that? It’s like they forgot she even existed.” S: “Sora is just a cunt.” (Note: S has a dry sense of humour and isn’t really being malicious. BUT . . . I do think most viewers watching Kizuna would have a poor opinion of Sora in this movie . . .)

F: “I liked the 02 kids. I guess it was mostly Davis. And I liked when Veemon was riding on Armadillomon’s back and Wormmon was trailing behind. It was just this random thing but it was funny. Maybe I just like making fun of Wormmon.”

About the idea that growing up affects your bond with your digimon:

S: “What I took from it was that you shouldn’t grow up too fast. Cherish your childhood, cherish your memories. But, eventually, you do need to grow up.”

F: “I don’t understand how this whole “Digimon disappear when you grow up” thing wasn’t known. Weren’t there older people with Digimon before? You’d think they could have made a more specific threat that was just affecting their digimon, not be like, “Yeah this happens to everyone, it’s just a fact of life that we’ve never addressed before.” It felt a bit like they were telling the audience to grow up and get over Digimon.”

What would we rate the film?

I probably have to watch it again to give a definitive score, but at the moment, I give it about a 7/10. It was good, but not great. The last half was pretty great though -- it definitely started out slow (there was a lot of exposition via Menoa vomiting words). Is it better than tri.? Chapter 3: Confession, no. Confession is better, I think, but I also haven’t seen it in years. But the rest of tri.? Probably. Especially the pile of shit that was Chapter 6: Our Future. *cough*

S: “4/10.″ (LOL.)

F: “It was better than tri.. I guess a 7/10 too.”

Sequel?

I think it’s definitely a possibility. I feel like the very last scene of the movie was slapped on just to be like, “Well, if we don’t do a sequel, you know that Taichi and Yamato are definitely going to reunite with their partners eventually for the 02 epilogue to happen.” The scene is of Taichi and Yamato saying something along the lines of meeting Agumon and Gabumon again one day.

And while it’s an uplifting ending, I actually think the movie would’ve ended better with the scene before that -- with the digimon disappearing and Taichi and Yamato crying. It would’ve made a bigger emotional impact and raised the movie up just a notch higher to end on such a ballsy note. But, of course, it would’ve meant a sequel definitely had to happen. So the actual final scene was added on so that a sequel doesn’t need to be made -- but that it leads to the 02 epilogue “off-camera”, in case they really don’t do a sequel.

I think there’s a 50/50 chance of a sequel. The movie actually does close the Adventure story pretty well -- it has all the ingredients to lead to the 02 epilogue without actually taking you there. But it also keeps the possibility of a sequel open, where they can show you exactly how Taichi and Yamato reunite with their digimon.

And, honestly, the only “barrier” I see to a sequel happening is that the reboot is airing next month -- and it’ll be confusing for the next generation of kids to follow one continuity, and then have a movie released with characters they recognise, but in an entirely different continuity. Unless, of course, the sequel comes out in another two years and the reboot has finished after one season (though there’s always a possibility it goes on beyond one season).

S: “Yes, I think there’ll be a sequel.”

F: “It seemed quite final. But obviously if the 02 epilogue is accurate that can’t be the end. Unless Matt finds Gabumon again on the moon I guess. “Oh hey yeah we don’t really disappear, we just go to space!” Yeah, it could go either way. Maybe they are saving Sora’s big part for the sequel!” (XD)

And that’s a wrap! I’ll probably read the novelisation of the movie eventually . . . and it’ll probably be like 95% the same, lol.

#digimon #digimon adventure last evolution kizuna #digimon last evolution kizuna #digimon last evolution #digimon kizuna #review #spoilers #50% thirst #30% jokes #20% actual content #XD

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years ago

Note

How about headcanons of the MC in a polyamory with Jumin, Saeran and Saeyoung? What do you think they’d like to do together? How do their dynamics work in your eyes? (Would love to gush about my opinions too!)

Ohhh that’s good!

Let’s see!

So I’m imagining that the three of them fell in love with the MC, and at one point they decided to ask them which one would they choose

The MC says that they likes the three of them equally and so they’re kind of in an awkward spot

They’d have to talk it out, and set up some ground rules

At first it’d be pretty hard, since I feel like Jumin would be against sharing, but would open up more to the idea over time

I feel like Saeyoung and Jumin would fight over MC a lot lmao

“They’re supposed to go to this charity event with me Saeyoung”

“NAH BISH WE GOIN TO THE AMUSEMENT PARK” (jk jk)

I also feel that for Saeran you would have to wait a bit for him

Like if you want to do the polyamory relationship as soon as he’s out of mint eye that’s a big nope

He would need time to first, learn to love himself and you know, go back to normal

Honestly with Saeyoung and Jumin there would be a big fight over who gets to pamper the MC the most

Saeyoung will buy chocolates and make robots for valentines day

And Jumin will buy tons of super expensive jewelry, chocolates from Germany and a giant ass teady bear

And the MC will obviously be like “Aw thank you to the both of you! I love all these presents!”

And Jumin and Saeyoung would just try to see who won

But then Saeran gets them this super beautiful flower that has like a super cute meaning

(And you know my boy won)

Sometimes is the simple stuff lol, but I mean it’s Saeran, if he gave me a trash bag I’d treasure it for the rest of my life

Also Saeran will sometimes act as if he doesn’t care if you’re spending more time with the other two

But you know he will get a bit pouty

So you have to give him tons of affection to assure him that you love him too!

Also if you spend time with Jumin, Saeyoung will definitely stsrt begging for attention

“MC, spoil meeeee”

The one good thing about you being with Jumin for Saeyoung though

Is ELLY

So now if Jumin wants to spend time with you, Saeyoung has the dibs for Elly lmao

Jumin would hestitanly agree if Saeran watches over him

Honestly I feel like Jumin and Saeran wouldn’t have any problems

They’re both pretty chill lmao

I feel at one point they WILL want to get married to the MC

So they will probably have to choose to marry one but will still be with the other two!

Honestly MC’s days would be filled with so many adventures!

Going on a scavenger hunt with Saeyoung, then eating at this fancy restaurant with Jumin and then helping Saeran with his garden

*gasp* Jumin could totally give Saeran his garden

Imagine how happy mah boy would be

Everyday you would go up to the rooftop and spend some time with him

One time the three of the guys will try to all garden together

But then Saeyoung starts throwing dirt everywhere

And Jumin is just done with his bs

So while Saeyoung, Saeran and you garden

He will be on a chair relaxing or reading

While listening to some classical music

Ohhh and then on RFA parties they would all take turns dancing with the MC

Jumin will dance to like this jazz music, everyone will have eyes on you two since you look like the perfect couple dancing

Then Saeyoung and you would just do meme dances

Omg the Macarena lmao

And with Saeran you will hold each other close, and sway a bit while he whispers how much he loves you in your ear

Thenn it becomes night time! And oh boy

I don’t think they would all like to sleep on the same bed

Because I feel like Saeyoung would just kick Jumin whenever he can lmao

Also imagine how hot that thing would be?!

So they probably decide like on this day MC is gonna sleep with Saeyoung, and then on the other one with Jumin and then Saeran

Although sleeping with both the twins wouldn’t be bad lmao

Whenever Jumin leaves for a business trip he tries to finish it as fast as possible

Because he doesn’t want the MC to spend too much times with the other boyos

But then the twins take the chance and spend all the time with you

You’ll be cooking and Saeran will be beside you while Saeyoung hugs you from behind

Or you’ll be watching TV and Saeran will be laying on your lap and Saeyoung on your shoulder

Now Imma add some kinky stuff lmao

So since my boys Saeyoung and Jumin are both into BDSM, get ready for the time of your life!

You’ll be with blindfolds while Jumin kisses you, Saeyoung is giving you oral and you give Saeran a hand job

Oh and Saeran would be the one who focouses on your chest

While Jumin is trailing kisses down your neck

And Saeyoung is kissing your legs and giving you oral

And honestly I feel like all of them would tease you

They would stop when you’re about to come and will wait for you to beg for them

Very nice 😏😏😏

Honestly Jumin and Saeyoung can’t be on the same page on lots of things, but when it comes to pleasuring you

OH BOYYY

Then when you finish it’s like the time where you will all cuddle

Saeyoung on one side, Jumin on the other and Saeran lying kind of on top of you laying on your chest.

It would take a lot of work, and communication is the key lmao, like in every relationship.

But if you talk it out I fell like it’d definitely work!

I would totally like to know how you think it would work too!

I’m sorry I kind of went on a ramble though lmao

But honestly a poly relationship with the three of them? 🤤🤤🤤

Now if it were Zen and Jumin

Just chaos lmao

#mystic messenger #mysme #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jumin han #polyamory #jumin x mc #saeyoung x mc #saeran x mc

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myownworldstayout · 5 years ago

Text

New Friends Ch. 12

Ch.1 / Ch.11 / Ch.13

(Are you ready for more fluff?? you’re gonna get more fluff.) (also, It’s long so warning lol)

“Marinette, I love these dresses!” Aurore sang, twirling around in a sleeveless purple dress, which stopped short just above her knees.

“The casual outfits are quite nice as well.” Kagami complimented, studying her black, ripped jeans and rose red top, matching her black boots.

Marinette blushed slightly at the praise, though it was hardly noticeable since she was still fiddling with another outfit on one of the manikins.

“Thank you so much! I figured you guys would like those.”

“I still can’t believe you made these.” Wayhem commented, picking at the collar of his bright green, short sleeved shirt.

“Do the jeans fit okay?” She asked, turning to get a good look at the three.

Wayhem grinned. “They’re perfect.”

Marinette smiled brightly, nodding with satisfaction as she focused on the manikin again.

“It’s a shame Felix couldn’t come to your house with us. He’s missing out on some great fashion.” Aurore giggled, sitting down on the chaise and smoothing out her dress.

“Actually, I already gave him an outfit. He’s gonna meet us at the concert.”

Aurore sat up. “Really?”

“Yep!”

During lunch period that morning, Luka invited them to go to Kitty Section’s concert. They were holding it in the square this time, and the crowd was hopefully going to be big. Aurore and Wayhem were more than happy to go, since they always loved Kitty Section’s concerts, and Kagami promised to work something out in her schedule. Felix was reluctant at first- concerts were always so loud and pushy -but when Marinette excitedly agreed to go, he gave in.

The group became so hyped for the event that they decided to dress up for it as well. That was when Marinette remembered she had some outfits at home that she’d been working on. So Aurore, Kagami, and Wayhem came to the Bakery to try them on while Luka prepared for the concert.

“The real question is how you convinced Felix to come to the concert in the first place.” Kagami said, shifting comfortably on the chase next to Aurore.

“What do you mean?” Marinette asked obliviously, pulling one of the pins from between her teeth and sticking it into a skirt.

“Felix hates concerts.” Kagami stated bluntly.

“I can’t imagine Felix liking anything loud or crowded to be honest.” Wayhem joked, slipping his hands into his pockets.

“Pretty much. His exact words were, ‘why listen to music at a loud, people-infested park when I could listen to the same music alone in my quiet bedroom?’” Kagami smile.

Aurore and Wayhem laughed at that, but Marinette furrowed her eyebrows.

“Why do you think I convinced him though? Maybe he decided to just try it out on his own.”

Wayhem scoffed and lightheartedly replied, “You kidding? He was so going to stay home until you said you were going.”

“He did suspiciously agree right after you did. Even though he said no the first time around.” Aurore joined in, a coy smile spreading across her lips.

Marinette pursed her lips, turning back to her project to hide her embarrassment. Felix didn’t agree just to be with her, right?

The image of him walking her to her house around the first time they met flashed through mind.

She shook her head.

He just wanted to go to the concert since everyone else was going. They were all friends, after all. It would be silly to stay home instead of hanging out with all of your friends.

Yes, it had nothing to do with her, and this certainly wasn’t going to be another Adrien situation.

Marinette stilled.

Adrien.

“Marinette, are you alright?” Aurore asked, noticing her pause.

She drew in a breath, steeling herself. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I was just thinking about..”

“About Adrien?” Wayhem finished, sitting down on the floor next to Marinette’s rolling chair, across from the girls.

Marinette nodded in confirmation, keeping her eyes on the skirt.

The group quietly waited, their gaze soft, understanding. Marinette would speak if she wanted to do so.

“They haven’t noticed my unofficial absence for weeks.” she finally began, more of thinking aloud. “They didn’t care that I haven’t spoken a word to anyone, that they haven’t talked to me for weeks. It wasn’t until I actively ignored Adrien that they got upset.”

Marinette sighed, massaging her temples. “It’s like they don’t even care about me as a person. It’s all about their egos or hurt feelings or something just- just all about them.”

The group nodded along, letting her work through her thoughts. Though Marinette appreciated it, it also sort of ached. Because she had never had something like this before. Not with Alya, or Adrien, or anyone else she knew for years in that forsaken classroom. It was always “Marinette, you’re overreacting”, “Marinette you’re being ridiculous”. It could never be, “you have a right to be angry”, or “your feelings are valid whether they completely make sense or not”.

Come to think of it, even despite Lila’s influence, they’d had trouble before. Mostly when Marinette decided to have any sort of feelings besides pure happiness. Of course, Alya and the others weren’t entirely to blame. Adrien was normally the one to scold her on that front.

She looked back up at the others. They sat there patiently, waiting for her to either finish her concerns or change the subject. It was her choice.

She reveled in that thought. Her choice. It felt as if this entire school year had flown by without giving her a single glance. She’d been forced into more things than she liked to admit.

Being ladybug, for example. She loved Tikki with all her heart, but Marinette still found herself a tad bitter about how she got the miraculous. Would she have accepted if Master Fu asked her straight up? Probably not, but it still would’ve been nice to get a say in the matter.

The point is, choices seemed to be new for her. She was sad that it turned out this way, but if it meant she could make choices, that she was finally free in a sense..

“There, done.” Marinette then smiled, leaning back to check her work.

Aurore and Wayhem gasped.

“Oh, Marinette, it’s beautiful!”

~~~~~~

Felix grumbled to himself as he got ready for the concert.

Why did her agree to go to this? Concerts were loud and crowded and everything he despised, really. Why couldn’t he just stay home and watch the concert live at the very least? That’d be much more preferable.

He pictured Marinette’s smiling face, her eyes shining with excitement and anticipation.

“You’re coming too, right Felix?” She had asked.

Seeing that expectant and hopeful look in her eyes… how could he say no?

He remembered her quietly squealing a “yes!” and pumping her fist in the air when he said he would go.

The group was surprised, though none argued. Especially when Marinette started rambling about “New outfits” and “Fitting sessions after school”.

A frown tugged at the corner of Felix’s lips.

They were all at her house now, getting ready for the concert. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to be there. Unfortunately, he needed to come home first to inform his mother about the new schedule and do a few things.

As expected, she was more than eager to let him go to the concert.

“When are you going to invite them over?” she asked for what felt like the fifth time that week.

“When I feel the time is right.” Felix said, repeating the same answer he always gave.

His mother put on a pout, but only huffed and left the room to start supper.

Felix smiled towards his mother’s antics as he straightened his new tie.

Marinette had shown them lots of sketches for clothing designs, but her actually making the clothes was a completely different story.

And she’d done and amazing job. The clothes she made for them not only fit their personalities well, but also seemed like they could be bought from a store.

Felix noticed a few crooked stitches and some loose buttons, usual mistakes that are perfected over time. Considering she was only fifteen, the handiwork was extremely impressive in his opinion.

The outfit wasn’t all that different from his usual one. He still had his black dress pants and dark grey vest. However, his familiar, lighter grey of a button up, long sleeve shirt was replaced by a black one with the sleeves stitched up to his elbows in a quarter sleeve style. Instead of his black tie, Marinette gave him a striped green and black tie to use. How she got the measurements was beyond him, because the clothes fit perfectly.

“Have fun at the concert sweetie! If you need me or your father to pick you up, just give us a call.” His mother cooed as he opened the front door.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Felix said with a small smile, waving and walking out the door.

The walk was longer than what he was used to, but he left earlier than necessary so he took his time. Nevertheless, he still got there about twenty minutes before the concert started. A few people were lingering in the square, either curious about the commotion or waiting for the concert to begin. In the center of the square, right in front of the glass pyramid, Felix spotted Kitty Section preparing themselves for the performance. Luka was tuning his guitar with Juleka, Rose was checking the sound system, and Ivan was testing his drums.

Felix noted that the others were wearing their normal outfits while Luka was obviously wearing a “Mari original” as they called it. He was wearing a dark-ish blue, checkered button up shirt with black jeans. His shirt was unbuttoned to reveal a navy blue t-shirt underneath. In the middle of the navy blue T-shirt was a white jagged stone, similar to the black one on his white t-shirt he normally wore.

Luka glanced up, smiling when he noticed Felix.

“Hey! I see you’re wearing your new outfit, too. Mari did a good job, as always.” he commented, setting his guitar to the side and standing up.

Felix nodded with a smile, looking over his clothes once more. He ignored the side glances he received from his classmates. He figured they wouldn’t be pleased of his presence, but he was here for Marinette, not them.

Speaking of which, “Where are the others?”

“They’ll be coming soon, don’t worry. Marinette wanted to make last minute tweaks on the other’s outfits.” Luka explained, waving off the question. “I didn’t expect you to come. Concerts don’t seem to be your thing.”

“They’re not. I only came because-” Felix cut himself short. Telling Luka his real reason for coming probably wasn’t the best idea.

Unfortunately for Felix, Luka was good at filling in the blanks.

“Because Marinette wanted you to, right?” he finished with a knowing smile.

Felix gave him a glare in response, not denying or confirming anything.

Thankfully, people were already starting to pile into the square. Therefore, Felix and Luka were quickly surrounded by chattering fans, distracting them from the conversation.

“I have to go up on stage. Good luck finding Mari in this mess.” Luka chuckled, before disappearing into the crowd as well.

Felix hummed in displeasure, turning on his heel and heading for the back of the crowd. Maybe it would be better to find them if he weren’t so smothered.

“Felix, there you are!”

He stopped, looking in the direction of the familiar voice he’d come to know quite well.

What he saw brought his thoughts to a screeching halt.

It was definitely Marinette- you could tell from her signature ponytails and unmistakably bright smile -but her clothes almost made her seem like a different person entirely.

She wore a pitch black blouse which was tucked into a bright red skirt covered in black polka dots that hung just above her knees. Her black heels, which were red on the bottom, drew attention to her toned legs. Now that Felix thought about it, Marinette’s arms were pretty toned as well. She was fit in general, to be honest.

A light blush dusted Felix’s cheeks as he pushed the thought out of his mind.

“What do you think?” Marinette beamed, twirling to give him a better look.

Felix swallowed, briefly at a loss for words. Could you blame him, though?

“Did you make that?” he managed to ask.

“Yeah! It’s not too bad is it?” Marinette said shyly.

Felix shook his head almost vigorously. “No, It- you look-” he paused, taking a second to compose himself. “You look.. Stunning.”

Now Marinette blushed, a delightful pink that somehow complemented the outfit.

He pulled a soft smirk, but then it faded as he looked her up and down again and squinted.

Marinette frowned. “What is it?”

“Do you mind if I try something?”

“Try something?” Marinette repeated, blinking in surprise.

“Yes, with your hair if that’s alright?” He said, reaching up and gently touching one of her pigtails in thought.

“O-Oh, uh- Sure, I g-guess.” Marinette stuttered, her blush deepening.

Without another word, Felix moved around behind her, carefully starting to pull the ribbons out. It might have been his imagination, but Felix thought he felt her shiver when he started combing his fingers through her hair to straighten it out.

“Alright, I’m done.” He stated after a few minutes, stepping around to her side again.

Marinette brought her hands up to her hair, lightly feeling around to figure out what he did.

“Thank you.”

Felix shrugged. “My uncle is a fashion designer after all.”

Marinette smiled, opening her mouth to respond when someone else called out to Felix.

“Felix! We finally found you! Oh, and you have Marinette that’s even better!” Aurore shouted over the crowds, moving towards them with Wayhem and Kagami in tow.

“Wow, I love your hair.” Wayhem complimented when they caught up to the two.

“Felix did it.” Marinette grinned, absently touching her hair that had fallen around her shoulders.

“Felix did?” Kagami raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk playing at her lips.

The blonde didn’t respond, keeping an indifferent expression. That might have been more condemning than if he had said anything at all.

“Well, it totally makes the look.” Aurore smiled, pulling a pocket mirror out of her purse and handing it to Marinette.

The hair-do looked much nicer than Marinette expected. Apparently, Felix took out her two pigtails, using the two ribbons to tie her hair into a half up half down style. This caused it to look like she was wearing a big red bow instead of her ordinary ribbons. Having her hair pulled back certainly topped off the outfit as Aurore had said. The red bow brought out the skirt and the hair that fell around her shoulders, along with her bangs, shaped her face nicely.

“Wow..” Marinette muttered, brushing her bangs somewhat to the side.

“Mhmm~” Aurore hummed with a smile, taking back the pocket mirror.

“We should get to the front, or somewhere near there. The concert is going to be starting soon.” Felix spoke up.

“Yeah, but there’s so many people..” Kagami said with a frown, standing up on her tiptoes to look over the growing crowd.

“Oh, let’s hold hands so we don’t lose each other!” Wayhem suggested, grabbing Aurore and Kagami’s hands.

Felix winced, though no one noticed.

Aurore grinned, turning and grabbing Marinette’s hand.

Marinette turned to Felix, holding up her hand.

“So we can stay together.” She smiled.

Felix hesitated. He didn’t like touch. Never enjoyed physical contact with anyone, really. Even his mother, who he loved dearly, was someone he could barely stay around for long due to all the hugs she smothers him with.

There wasn’t a specific reason he hated being touched, he just did. Felix assumed it was mostly from his father, but he couldn’t tell for sure.

That was why he was surprised when he took Marinette’s hand. Because he.. He actually didn’t mind her touch. It wasn’t all that bad. Her hand was warm and her grip gentle, loose enough that he could let go if he wanted, but tight enough that they shouldn’t be separated.

Her grip then tightened suddenly to keep from losing him when they got deeper into the crowd.

For reasons unbeknownst to him, Felix squeezed her hand back.

He caught a glimpse of Marinette glancing back at him in surprise, before turning her attention back to the crowds.

“Alright, Paris, are you ready!” Luka called over the microphone.

The group stopped. The crowds cheered.

Marinette didn’t let go of Felix’s hand. Whether she was distracted by Luka or just didn’t think about it, Felix found that he was okay with it.

The music began, causing Felix to look at the stage as well. Half way through, Marinette and the others started dancing. He didn’t join in, but his hand swung around with Marinette’s occasionally. That was when he noticed she was still holding Aurore’s hand as well. In fact, they were all still holding hands. To stay together.

That’s right. To stay together, nothing more. Felix reminded himself, even if he wasn’t sure why he needed to remember that.

The concert lasted for about an hour, along with a few added encores.

“And now,” Luka began, wrapping up the show. “I’d like to make a special shoutout to the girl who not only made my outfit for tonight, but also designed Kitty Section’s costumes and album covers from the beginning. Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng!”

Felix saw Marinette’s eyes widen as the spotlight landed on her.

Luka grinned, walking to the edge of the stage and holding out his hand.

Marinette, still in shock, slipped her hand out of Aurore and Felix’s grasp and took Luka’s hand.

He ignored the sudden coldness he felt from Marinette’s absence as the girl was pulled up on stage.

“This is also a ‘Mari Original’.” Luka announced eagerly, gesturing to Marinette’s outfit.

The ravenette smiled sheepishly, fiddling with her skirt a bit to contain her nerves.

The crowd gave a hearty round of applause. Her friends clapped the loudest, of course, and Wayhem whistled.

“That’s all I’ve got folks. Thank you and goodnight!”

~~~~~~~

Marinette’s heart pounded against her chest even half an hour later. Luka did love his surprises, she just wished they didn’t involve so many people.

“Where does this go?” Wayhem asked, holding up a box of sound equipment.

“Over there is fine.” Luka answered, pointing to a few other boxes nearby.

Wayhem nodded, hobbling off in that direction. Marinette giggled at the odd posture.

It was nice though, she thought, being appreciated. Getting the credit she deserved for her work. What did she do to deserve these wonderful people?

“I~ think that’s everything?” Aurore more of asked, looking around the now empty stage.

“Yes, I believe so.” Felix agreed, crossing his arms and searching for any lost or forgotten items as well.

Marinette smiled towards the blonde. He’d been full of surprises that evening. Since the first week she met him, actually. She was also happy to say that the outfit she created looked good on him.

“Thanks for helping out guys.” Luka said appreciatively, setting the last few boxes onto their stacked pile.

Juleka, Rose, and Ivan mumbled their “thanks” as well- Rose being as cheerful as ever. Marinette and Felix might rival Chloe in low popularity at school at the moment, but they still helped out.

“You don’t have to thank us.” Kagami insisted. Her phone then buzzed in her pocket, and she sighed when she saw the message.

“My driver’s going to be here in a few minutes. Anyone need a ride home?”

Luka scratched the back of his head. “Actually.. Can you take Juleka and I home? It’d be hard to take all of the boxes home and mom doesn’t have a car..”

Kagami smiled. “Of course, it’s not a problem.”

The exchange seemed to remind Felix of something, and he turned to her.

“What about you?” He asked, glancing at her as he took out his phone and pressed on his mother’s contact icon.

“Sorry?” Marinette blinked, looking at Felix and standing up on the stage.

“Do you need a ride home?” he elaborated, waving his phone slightly.

“Oh no! I’m alright, thank you-”

Marinette then paused, and looked to the streets. It was getting a bit dark.

“On second thought, that would be nice.” she smiled.

Felix returned the smile, before walking away to call his parents.

Marinette yelped as she stumbled down the steps of the stage, right into a firm pair of arms.

“Are you alright?” Felix asked, concern lacing his tone.

“Ah, y-yes. I’m so sorry..” she sighed, struggling in his arms to stand back up.

Felix lifted her to her feet. “It’s fine. As long as you’re alright.”

Marinette blushed, suddenly noticing how close they were and Felix’s lingering arms around her waist. She lightly touched her right cheek, which she somehow managed to scratch on the way down.

“Honestly, I don’t know what possessed you to where heels. You can barely walk around in your usually flats.” he then added, frowning at the injury.

Marinette chuckled, shrugging her shoulders. Though his tone was sarcastic, she knew he meant it as more of a joke than anything. It was hard to read Felix when they first met, but after a few weeks of hanging out with the group so much, she managed to figure him out a little.

For one, he wasn’t as stone cold as he appeared to be. Felix might be brutally honest and strongly opinionated, but he did care. She’d seen it over the past few weeks. He just had a hard time expressing his emotions.

Not to mention that ever since he arrived at school, Lila hasn’t bothered Marinette as much- if at all. She couldn’t begin to explain how thankful she was for that.

“The car’s here. Are you ready to go?” The blonde in question interrupted her thoughts, gesturing to a grey car that had just rolled onto the street.

Marinette nodded, saying a quick goodbye to the others and following Felix to the vehicle.

Felix opened the back door for her, which she found sweet. When she got into the car, though, Marinette was a tad surprised to see Felix slide into the seat next to her and close the door.

She looked to the floor to calm herself. Taking deep breaths, smoothing out her skirt, fixing her hair. The car pulled onto the street and started towards the bakery.

“T-thanks for the r-ride.” she finally said, wincing at the stutter.

Why was she nervous? It was just Felix.

Just Felix. Marinette mentally repeated.

“It’s no trouble.” Felix assured, brushing off the comment.

“I didn’t know you had a chauffeur.” She commented thoughtfully.

Felix glanced at her from the window. “Well, I would certainly hope so. My family does own and run several banks around the country.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Wait, really?”

“You didn’t know?” Felix raised his eyebrows, straightening in his seat.

Marinette shook her head dumbly. Then again, how did she not know Felix’s family ran the banks? She’s known him for weeks hasn’t she?

The boy stared at her for a moment, then simply hummed and turned back to the window.

Silence filled the car. Marinette found it frustrating. Usually, she could talk about anything or everything with Felix. Now, she was at a loss for words. Why was that?

When the car stopped in front of her house, Marinette shuffled out of the vehicle, Felix following behind her.

“Thanks again for the ride home.” she said, throwing him an appreciative smile.

“Any time.” Felix replied softly.

A frown suddenly flickered across his face and he lightly touched the side of his lips. “You’re lipstick’s a little messed up.”

Marinette blushed, bringing her hand up to fix the error.

He was looking at my lips?

The thought nearly gave Marinette a heart attack, and she shoved it to the back of her mind. That didn’t mean anything. Felix was just observant like that.

“No, wait- you missed- here let me do it.”

Before Marinette could respond, Felix was in front of her again. He tilted her chin upwards, gently grazing his thumb across her lips.

Marinette’s heart skipped a beat at the gesture and her eyes flicked to his.

His eyebrows were knitted together as he focused on fixing her makeup. It was all too obvious that he wasn’t trying anything.

“It’s such a lovely shade of red..” he murmured absently, stroking her lips one last time for perfection.

Oh, if Marinette thought she couldn’t blush any deeper..

The poor girl was about to blabber out some sort of reply when a car horn blared next to them, signaling for Felix to hurry up. The two jumped apart, glancing at the impatient chauffeur.

“G-Goodnight!” Marinette nearly squeaked, holding back another cringe of embarrassment.

Felix gave a small smile, though, not seeming to mind. “Yes, goodnight.”

With that, he got back in the car and left.

Marinette went back inside as well, hand on her lips and thoughts racing about the night she just had and the new feelings she might have just experienced.

Tag list: @unabashedbookworm @bluerosette23 @minightrose@kuroko26@im-here-for-the-content @angstyrastuff @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanboy7794@choaticneturcl @bigcheeseyboi @burntnugget-tae @ayuchan07@honorisfortheweak @knightrose15 @mjisntme@rhub4rb @simplythebestbug@wilhelmares@zebrabaker@dargeon-lissa @kristycocopop @alumneia @kaydenth3gayden @thornangelic727 @flirtshobi @whatamessofwords

#Felinette #Felix Culpa #New Friends AU

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