#caratadmirer

[yyxgin]

this february 14th ;; kim mingyu

pairing: kim mingyu x fem! reader genre: friends to slight enemies (more like people on bad terms) to lovers, higschool/college au | fluff, angst, coming of age word count: 9.4k warnings: heartbreak, pining, mingyu is an ass sometimes, hinted unrequited love, swearing, alcohol

kim mingyu’s all anyone could ever wish for in their life, really; he’s charismatic, attractive, has a good sense of humor (most of the time...), while also being insanely sweet, caring and amazingly good at cooking. so how could he turn into anyone’s enemy, you ask? well, much to nobody’s surprise, your heart decides to fall in love with him. over and over again. and while your heart keeps loving him, the man of your dreams decides to keep breaking it. over and over again-- 3 times, to be exact. and while loving is easy, it surely comes with a lot of pain. that’s why you decide to try to hate him instead. try. because hating him is more difficult than loving him, it seems. 

dear belle (@xuseokgyu​) ! i wish you the happiest valentine’s day. it was so much fun to get to know you just a little over the last few days. i hope you enjoy the gift i prepared for you <3 with love,

your caratadmirer, bar ! <3

If someone told you that you’d be standing on the doorstep of Kim Mingyu’s dorm on February 14, contemplating on knocking on the door and bearing the embarrassment of him seeing you there, looking as pathetic as ever, you’d for sure curse them out and tell them to stop joking. However, this all is not a joke– it’s the cruel reality; and although the image must look pathetic, you finally decide to do it and knock on the light-washed wood, standing tall as you wait for him to open the door and laugh you in the face.

The relationship you and Mingyu have is rather complicated. Some would say you were past lovers (and this was far from the truth; I’m telling you right now just in case you were wondering), some would even go as far as saying you were enemies– which would be much closer to the truth, but you wouldn’t say this label fits just right. 

It’s just complicated. You’ve known Kim Mingyu your whole life, pretty much. From seeing him in kindergarten for the first time, the small boy running around in the play area with so much energy, instantly catching your eyes, to seeing him always somehow following you anywhere you go. Not literally, of course– it’s not like he’s a stalker. The overgrown golden retriever of a man just always somehow ends up in the same school, at the same place, in the same foreign country… much like today.

And so, despite all the history you share with the man (however joyful or full of sorrow it might be), you don’t have it in you to stay locked up in your own dorm room on Valentine’s day. Not after getting ditched by the first male friend you made on your internship. In a way, this makes it all even easier; for your dignity is already flushed down the drain and your ego dropped below zero– you no longer fear the judgemental eyes of Kim Mingyu when you knock on his door. 

It’s only the two of you here, on your 6 week-long internship in Japan. Academic rivalry was something that always made the two of you hate each other’s guts in the slightest way possible, but seeing people putting you on the same level by sending both of you on the prestigious internship to your sister school in Japan only made you infatuated and full of anger. And while you claimed that you’d rather stay locked up in your own room for the 6 weeks with no human interaction, everyone knew you were just bluffing as you packed up your things and sat in the plane next to Kim Mingyu for 3 hours as you flew from your hometown to Tokyo.

Somehow, even right now, after everything, you guess you could never imagine anyone else here with you. That’s how it’s always been, after all– you and Kim Mingyu. Difficult and twisted, but always somehow truly authentic. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks as the door opens, his figure already dressed in loose sweatpants and a plain white T-shirt, an outfit reminding you of his version of presentable pyjamas. His voice is a little hoarse and the orange light shining down on his face from the dim lamps standing all around the halls of the dorm only makes you recognise just how late in the night it already is, the realization making you feel a little foolish. 

“I can leave, if you want, it’s just- I… I guess I had nowhere else to go,” you shrug, meeting his eyes for just a second before the eye contact feels too unbearable and you point your eyes to your feet instead. 

This was a stupid, stupid idea. He’s going to laugh at you and bring up how you got stood up by your date, he’s gonna tease you in front of everyone and send you back to your dorm room on the other side of the campus. And you should have realized all of that before even coming here and knocking on that damn door, because it’s clear as day– you and Kim Mingyu aren’t friends. Not anymore, at least.

But despite all of that, you catch a glimpse of his understanding eyes, his tone softening as he steps out of the doorway and motions for you to get inside with a wave of his arm.

“Come in.”

This is a message to everyone that thinks you hate Kim Mingyu: you may just be right. 

It’s not like you hate everything about him, no. One simply can’t hate Mingyu– he’s funny, adorable, extremely sweet and considerate. With the way you describe him, you’d be giving the world a false idea of how you think about him– maybe even convincing everyone that you’ve grown to like him over the years. That’s not true, though. Not anymore, at least.

The reason why you think you might hate Mingyu is the simple fact that he’s broken your heart three times in your simple 21 years of life. 

Wouldn’t you hate someone that treats your heart so carelessly? Yeah. That’s what I thought.

The first time that Mingyu broke your heart was when you were just a few days older than the rape age of 14.  Exactly 7 years ago, on February 14, you shot your first shot at confessing your love to him. Although there is only so much loving a 14-year-old can do, you are fairly certain that in your whole, still growing body, there is not a single cell that is not in love with your classmate from Math class and that feeling overwhelms you and consumes you with the same impact it would even if you knew what love truly feels like and how much trouble it brings when you get older.

When you’re 14, love is easy. Or at least that’s what it feels like when you look at Mingyu in your Math class. He’s the top of the class and his jokes aren’t as stupid as your other classmate’s are, so you are automatically bound to liking him. The fact that you’ve known him for more years than you can currently count in your lovesick mind doesn’t help your growing affection, for you think that you two were, simply said, made to be. 

When you’re 14, love is easy. Only up until the point when it suddenly… isn’t.

And that point in your life comes at the moment when the upperclassmen walk into the room, all dressed up in pink and white– the ones wearing white going as far as having angel wings glued to their back, twirling around in white tutu skirts and their hair braided to the side– bearing envelopes in their hands as they sing an off-key lovesong and start handing out the cards. You know damn well what those are– the whole school knows. The Valentine’s day confession event was a big thing in your class particularly. It’s the only day when all the shy people could confess their love to someone without telling them their name. Doing it anonymously was much easier than signing off with your nickname. Nobody has proof it was you, and you can live happily ever after with the feeling that you confessed to someone, even though they don’t actually know it’s you.

Some girls even went as far as signing off with their names. Bravery, that was, I’m telling you. While you thought you could never do it, you found yourself quickly scribbling your name into the far left corner of the light-pink card, silently hoping that he might not see it if he only vaguely searches the card. 

Looking around, you find almost everyone getting a card. Faces light up as your classmates read out the short passages written carefully on the expensive-feeling paper, while you anxiously sit around and wait for anything to fall onto your desk. You’d be foolish to think you’re getting a Valentine’s card from Mingyu. I mean, you don’t speak much, despite the fact that you’ve known each other since kindergarten. Something inside of you just silently hoped that someone might be interested in you– and even if that wasn’t the case, your friends could have sent you something. Hell, you even dropped off a card for your seatmate Yeondu– and you’re fairly certain that you saw her writing Valentine’s cards for her friends too. 

It’s okay. It’s totally okay, you think. Chewing on your bottom lip out of disappointment, your ears burning as you think that everyone’s looking at you and laughing at your empty table, you almost forget that you sent a Valentine’s card to Mingyu.

And so while no one’s looking at you, you turn to watch Mingyu. It takes you off guard to see his desk representing the pure opposite of yours– the cards covering every inch of it as you finally realize that you’re not the only 14-year-old shamelessly in love with him. It’s a sudden realization, but in all honesty, it should have been clear by the way every girl stares at him and lovingly coos every time he stands in front of the blackboard and solves a math problem much faster than everyone else.  

Suddenly, you feel self-conscious. Of course, you could never compare to all the other girls in your class. You’re the one that everyone always overlooks; or at least they do until it’s the time to copy your homework. It’s okay, though. You’re only 14, surely you’ll grow out of it…

Watching Mingyu read through all the Valentine’s day cards, his seatmate Seokmin noisily glancing at them from behind his shoulder, your heart sinks. Mingyu sits only a few desks in front of you and exactly one row to the right, providing you with a great view of every single card he’s holding in his hand. The handwriting of your classmates is easily recognizable and you wonder if Mingyu can make out just who sent him the card he’s holding at the moment. 

The words on the cards are anywhere from two to five sentences long. Some girls sent him love poems, some just told him that they have feelings for him. Mingyu saves each one in the corner of his desk, biting through the post steadily. No emotions showed on his face– there was no chance that he’d like any of the girls from your class, however nice, smart or pretty they were. In your mind, none of them were good enough for Mingyu in the first place. You’re not saying you should be the one in his heart, no, you just… wish you could ever meet the level you hold this boy on in your small, fragile heart.

Recognising the card he’s holding now, you sink lower in your seat. His finger covers your name that you’d scribbled in the corner of the paper, and suddenly, you’re glad– for you think you’d simply pass away from the embarrassment you feel when he finishes reading.

It’s like the world stops spinning for a few seconds, Seokmin’s face next to Mingyu breaking into a grin as he tries to surpass his laughs. The lines you’d written onto the card were much longer than the ones your other classmates decided on, and while yours were much more sincere, when you hear them read out loud– because Mingyu likes to embarrass you, it seems– you realize just how childish and foolish you sounded. 

“Dearest Mingyu. I really adore you. I really, really do. You are really pretty and you always do well on your exams. I like the way you smile and try your hardest in class. Every time you do well on an exam, I silently cheer for you and hope you feel proud of yourself. Every time I see you playing football with the other guys, I hope your team wins. You are amazing and insanely funny. I hope that one day, you could feel the same about me,” you hear Mingyu recite, his tone of voice over-exaggerated to the point where you feel like you’re watching a stand-up comedian telling a story from their childhood. 

The laughter that comes erupting from his throat cuts you like knives, making you sink your teeth into your bottom lip as you try to bite down the tears that form in your eyes. You’re not sure if you just feel bad for yourself, or if it’s the overwhelming wave of humiliation that is making you feel this way. Either way, you just wish for it to stop.

And as if your pleas were listened to for once, the bell finally rings and everyone escapes the classroom, holding the little paper hearts to their chest and giggling to themselves. 

At 14, love was easy. Up until Kim Mingyu broke your heart on Valentine’s day. You admit you might have sounded stupid, but deep in your heart, you just wanted the boy to feel appreciated. Is that so funny or embarrassing?

Leaving the classroom last and alone, you notice a piece of white paper laying on the ground. You almost leave it there, but you decide to throw it in the trash anyway– Mingyu’s on cleaning duty this week and you don’t want him to have too much work. You help him, even if it’s just with this smallest thing. 

Taking the paper into your hands, you recognise your own handwriting decorating the paper, the silly doodle of a heart laughing in your face. Of course your card is the only one Mingyu didn’t bring with him, you think. The ink blurs as a stray tear falls down onto your confession, your small hands crumpling up the paper into a ball as you throw it to the trash can with force on your way out.

That’s the first time you decide to hate him– heartbroken and sad, with your head low and a cloud of shame making you dizzy. You could never fulfill that promise, since you let Kim Mingyu break your heart twice more after. You don’t know that yet, though. 

And so at 14 years old, you hate Mingyu for the first time. Because, logically speaking, wouldn’t you hate someone that treats your heart so carelessly?

Frankly speaking, the little promise you made to yourself when you were 14 wasn’t fulfilled. It’s not that you magically started to like him again after that– no, you didn’t even look at him in lunch or said hi to him when he passed you in the halls– it’s just that Kim Mingyu is really, really hard to hate. Especially when you start talking to your new friend Rosie, who is, coincidentally, friends with Jisoo, who is friends with Jaehyun, who is friends with Seokmin, who is, finally, friends with Mingyu. And now, 3 years after confessing your love to him on Valentine’s day, you’re in the same friend group as him. You can’t really hate someone that’s supposed to be your friend, right?

And you were just 14 when all the boy drama happened. Surely, you wouldn’t want to be the one obsessing over the same thing until the rest of your life. It was time to let it go and work past all the heartbreak you felt because of Kim Mingyu in middle school. 

When you were 15, you started attending choir. Singing was something you always liked, and it was something you could see yourself doing for the rest of your life. It made you feel free, because you could just emerge yourself into the music and all of your problems were magically swept away. You really couldn’t imagine anything else to spend all your free time on. 

The practice was, sometimes, really early in the morning– which meant you had to wake up when it was still dark and ride the bus to the school with frozen bones and sleep in your eyes. Sometimes, the practice was until late evening. This often happened when the choir teacher didn’t feel like waking up in the morning. Too bad she never gave you a notice, so you wouldn’t have to wake up and go to school only to find out the practice was cancelled. Still, even after waiting for so long and getting home accompanied only by the yellow lamp posts scattered on the empty streets, you felt happy. 

After so many years, you finally felt like there was something else you were good at that wasn’t getting good grades and studying well to get into university.

Everyone knew about your love for choir. You met Rosie in the choir, but she quit a year after joining. She said she didn’t have time for it anymore– choosing to spend her time with things that were much more exciting for a teenage girl growing into adolescence. Everyone still supported you in your deepest love, though. Perhaps that was what made you feel the most seen. 

After all those years, though, you had to put an end to the choir. 

It’s not like you didn’t like it anymore, not at all. It will always hold a special place in your heart. But now, when you’re graduating high school and moving to a completely different town for college, it seems like you no longer can attend practice at your old school. It’s something that makes your heart heavy, but it’s something you’ve grown to accept– there is an end to everything and you have to say goodbye.

“You’re going to attend my last concert, right?” you ask, looking at your friend group lazily scattered around the park, shading their eyes from the sunlight. You almost look like you’re from a coming-of-age movie, you think, your skin kissed by the happy sunrays and sweat forming at your hairline. Your eyes shortly stop at Mingyu’s figure in the centre of it all, tan skin shining in delight, a grin decorating his lips as he nods.

“Of course. We wouldn’t miss it,” he agrees, “we know it’s important for you, you rockstar.”

The nickname makes you shyly roll your eyes and shake your head in disbelief. The Kim Mingyu you knew when you were 14 wasn’t such a tease, but the Kim Mingyu you’re friends with when you’re 18 and graduating high school is perhaps the version most dangerous to your weak heart. It’s impossible not to fall for Mingyu, the high school heartthrob. There’s only so much one can do to hopefully shield themselves from his charm and you… you failed. 

You fell for Mingyu for the second time. One would argue that you never stopped having a crush on the male, but you would argue that in the sole moment when he made fun of your Valentine’s day confession, you hated him the most in the whole world. This would automatically mean that the stream of your feelings for him was broken– therefore, you stopped for at least a few seconds before picking the foolish feelings up again. 

“It’s on Saturday,” you notify, looking at the rest of your friend group, “at 8. In the theatre.”

“We know! We’ll be there, I promise!” Rosie nods, grinning at you with her pearl whites on full display. She’s arguably the most adorable person in the town, you think– sometimes you even wonder how she ended up talking to you at orientation the first day you met her. 

Saturday comes quicker than you expected. You dress up prettily and do your hair. The excitement in your insides mixes with the feeling of tension, leaving you in a blissful disharmony of anxious biting of your nails and sweaty palms wiped onto the fabric of your bottoms. You always had this weird stress before performing– one would call it stage fright, but you knew that you just had to go up there and everything will be alright. 

Arriving at the theatre, you say hi to your friends from choir. The chaotic buzz of backstage makes you jump around in small circles, leaving your companions to laugh at your antics as they pat your shoulder and encourage you to loosen up. You can’t, though– this is the last chance you have and you want to make it count. You want to enjoy it to the fullest, because you know that after tonight, you won’t be able to come back to it ever again. 

Stepping your legs onto the stage, getting into your position, you wait for the cue. Singing comes naturally to you, it’s like you’re on autopilot, but still noticing every single thing you do. You enjoy it to the fullest. It’s like you’re doing what you were always made to do. 

The years of practice paid off, you think, as you scan the crowd and see your family and friends scattered all across the front row, looking at you with warm grins on their faces. When your eyes land on Jaehyun, he gives you a thumbs-up that almost makes you laugh out loud. You’re lucky you could keep it in.

When your eyes continue scanning the crowd, you notice someone missing. The figure your eyes have been subconsciously searching for is nowhere to be seen in the dark theatre, his seat empty as something inside of you gets a little sad and your spirit falls. Why didn’t he come? Did something happen? You hope he’s alright.

The concert ends and you finally change back into your casual clothes, stepping outside to the summer heat. It’s not that late in the evening and your parents let you have dinner with your friends outside, pressing wet kisses to your cheeks with a prideful cheer of how good you did, as always.

The curious question bites off your tongue. “Where’s… Where’s Mingyu?” you ask. 

Jisoo looks at you, frowning. You don’t know what made her look so worried for you, but the sentence that falls off her lips makes your shoulders slouch and your face fall even more, if that’s possible. “He went on a date.”

“A date?” you furrow your brows.

“Yeah. Some girl asked him yesterday and he couldn’t say no,” Seokmin mutters, “I personally think it was quite rude of him to not go to your last concert, but oh well. You know Mingyu. He’s not the most responsible sometimes.”

And that evening, when you’re 18 and walking with your friends through the quiet town centre, you get your heart broken by Kim Mingyu for the second time. You wonder how you could be so foolish to let him do it for the second time, how you could be so stupid to trust him with your heart and anticipate his arrival to the theatre. It was only one of the most important evenings of your life, after all. Nothing serious…

“You did so well, though! Mingyu missed out on a lot,” Rosie smiles at you, tightly gripping your hand in hers.

The smile you offer her is nowhere close to a real one. 

You don’t know what hurts more– the fact that he chose to skip your last choir concert, or the fact that he’s on a date with another girl. 

It’s not like you two went to the senior prom together… studied for finals together, got into the same university together, went on late-night convenience store runs together, shared your dreams and aspirations under the blue hue of his light in his small bedroom. You were too foolish to think there was something more between the two of you all this time. 

He was just being your friend. That’s all. 

When you come home that evening, a lonely tear slips past your cheek as you prepare to go to bed. That’s the second time you cry over Kim Mingyu. And with a heavy heart, you decide to hate him again.

Because, again, why wouldn’t you hate someone that treats your heart so carelessly?

Staring out the window in your Economics class, the sky opens with a clap of loud thunder, cutting through the clouds. Raindrops fall to the ground only a few seconds later, making your face scrunch up and a sigh leave your lips, shaking your head at just how stupid you feel right now. It’s not only because of the professor rhetorically speaking in front of the whole class, the words coming out of his mouth not quite reaching your brain as it tries to understand them– it’s for a far smaller problem. 

You forgot your umbrella at home.

Everyone starts to gather their things around you, the notebooks rustling against the bottom of their bags waking you up from your mindless slumber, as you stand up from your place in the far left corner of the room and prepare for the worst journey of your life– the journey to your college dorm room that’s a 15 minute walk away. Cracking your knuckles as you point your eyes towards the thin converse covering your feet, the chuckle leaving your lips sounds nothing close to lighthearted. 

Maybe you should trust the weather app sometimes. It’s never wrong, it seems– you just never learn.

Praying to all gods above that all of your old, expensive textbooks don’t get drenched in rain, you open the glass door of your university building and prepare to be met with an expected, yet, still very much despised shower in the form of a rainstorm that surprised you in your Economics class. 

What you’re met with is something that surprises you, though, and that’s a person with a big umbrella standing in the middle of the rain with a wide grin on their face, seemingly waiting for you. That someone is Kim Mingyu– your newly-titled guardian angel. 

You’ve always had Kim Mingyu by your side. Knowing him all your childhood and crushing on him from the age of 14 to the age of 18 (you’re 19 now. You don’t dare to change the number 18 to the number 19 just yet– you just simply refuse to fall in love with him again. For the third time.), it shouldn’t be any surprise that he’s the one you’re spending your university years with as well. The only one, too. Everyone else either stayed back in your hometown or chose a different city to study at– Kim Mingyu is the only one that had the same thought process as you and applied to your dream university. 

And whether it is because you’ve just known each other for too long, or because you’re the only person in the whole university he actually knows, Kim Mingyu sticks to your side like glue. Not that you mind, of course.

“What are you doing here?” you ask when the tall male jogs to you with the umbrella above his head, shielding you from the rain. 

“My class just ended,” he shrugs, flashing you an award-winning smile. Chuckling and shaking your head, ignoring that you are now just exposing the fact that you kind of know his class schedule, you accuse him of lying.

“No, it didn’t,” you speak, “your class ended like… fifteen minutes ago.”

Mingyu stares at you dumbfounded; probably spooked out by the fact that you sound like a total stalker right now, although you try to not pay too much attention to that thought. Scrunching his brows in the middle, a subtle wrinkle appearing on his forehead, he rolls his eyes at you and subtly nudges you with his elbow in his statement playfulness.

“Yeah, okay, that’s right. You just mentioned that you didn’t bring your umbrella in the morning, so when it started raining, I thought I’d wait for you so you don’t get home all drenched,” he states, the tone of his voice too casual for the way his words are making you feel. You never knew your friend was such a gentleman…

“How thoughtful of you,” you grin, snickering.

Embarrassment slowly rising to his cheeks, Mingyu turns on his defense mechanism: whining. “I didn’t do it for you, you dumbass,” he mutters, “I just don’t want to listen to you complain again when you have to dry your textbooks with the hairdryer again. I’m doing this for me and my poor ears, you know.”

Humming, you nod in understatement. Well, he’s not exactly wrong about your textbooks… “Oh!” you curse, “Speaking of my textbooks, I’ll still totally have to dry them with a hairdryer when I get home…” you mutter.

“Huh?” Mingyu mumbles, looking over at you, “Why?”

“‘cause they’re still in the rain,” you point to the tote bag sitting on your shoulder, the umbrella being too small to cover the right side of your body, leaving the bag in the rain.

“Ah,” a grunt escapes his lips, “just… get closer then?” he suggests.

The shock must be evident on your face as he stares at you only for a second before he tugs you closer to him with an arm slipped around your shoulders, your bodies basically stuck together as the umbrella manages to cover both of your figures from the rain. You’re both wearing jackets, no skin actually touching, but just the thought of him being so close to you is making your heart run faster than the speed of light, your cheeks heating up from the close proximity and boldness of his actions.

“I won’t listen to you bitching about your textbooks again,” Mingyu retorts, but there’s something sweet and caring in his tone that makes your heart jump. 

Walking you home in the rain, his arm around your shoulders, you don’t think you can escape falling for Kim Mingyu anymore. The third time’s the charm… right?

Falling for Kim Mingyu is like stepping inside of the same puddle twice. You’ve stepped into this puddle for the third time now, and you don’t think it’s something you should be proud of. It’s messy, it’s confusing, it’s making you feel like your brain is going to overheat every time you overthink every single one of his actions and try to find the slightest bit of affection in them. 

Is him laughing at your jokes and collapsing into your side a thing he does to everyone, or should you feel special? Is him holding your hand when you walk around the campus just him being friendly, or is it a form of affection he only has reserved for you? Does he stay up on the call whenever you have a nightmare and call him in the middle of the night with everyone, or are you the only one that has the privilege? Is the wet kiss he planted onto your cheek last Monday after dropping you off at your dorm just playful teasing, or did he really mean it?

You never know with him. Mingyu is everything but clear about his emotions. One day he’s grinning at you and calling you as pretty as a flower, the other day he’s walking around the university with a smug smirk and enjoying the stares sent his way from the girls and guys in the Philosophy building. 

Being his best friend is a blessing and a curse all at once. You get to be with him all the time, not even having to excuse your actions to anyone– because realistically speaking, most of the time, it’s just you and him alone; but you also have to be in his presence and try not to blow up every time he subtly touches you or pokes your side when he tries to tease you with tickles.

Being his best friend is a blessing and a curse all at once, because even though you’re his adopted introvert, making the boy help you come out of your shell a little bit, you also have to attend social events more often than you’d like sometimes. One of these days is a Friday evening right after your exams; you wanted to just chill and watch the new season of Euphoria, but your friend had other plans for you.

He’s persistent. Mingyu is known for not taking ‘no’ as an answer when he really wants something. And let’s be honest, you could never say no to him when he pouts at you and uses his whiney pleading voice, calling you a bad friend as he promises to watch the show with you next week at his place. 

Mingyu’s TV is bigger than yours anyway. That’s why you said yes. No other reason…

And that’s exactly how you end up at a party, standing in a crowded kitchen that reeks of alcohol and makes your stomach twist with memories from high school. Seokmin has never been the strongest drinker and your senior prom was the prime example. His breath close to your ear smelled just like your uni classmate’s kitchen right now. 

You’re not that popular. And you don’t mind– at least you have no drama to deal with. You only have to listen to Mingyu’s. With him by your side, you feel like you know everyone at least a bit. As he would say, he has tea on everyone, and you, being his designated best friend, need to hear all of it. It’s only thanks to him that you know that you shouldn’t mess with Soonyoung from your Business class. Mingyu says he’s a player.

You normally don’t mind being the introvert of the group, but standing in the crowded kitchen, totally alone as your friend stands in the corner and talks to his other friends he’s picked up along the way, you can’t help but feel a little lonely. 

Sighing, pointing your gaze into your cup, you twirl the liquid around and watch it reflect in the light of the orange lightbulb hanging above your head. Your train of thought is cut off by a subtle cough, making you turn your head to your right, seeing a man no older than you smiling at you warmly, hands in his pockets and light-brown bangs falling into his eyes. He looks stylish– you bet he’s a Fashion or Art student, his lean figure lazily pressed against the kitchen counter.

A tight smile appears on your lips. Communication is not your strongest suit.

“Bored?” he asks. The rise of his eyebrows makes him look ever so attractive, the teasing grin on his face only making your cheeks heaten as you nod, pointing your lips into a straight line.

“Kind of,” you snicker, “I don’t really do parties, you know…” you shrug, looking around. Mingyu’s broad shoulders catch your gaze, the little voice inside of your head screams for him to finally notice you, because the interaction with a stranger makes you ever so hesitant and a little stressed-out.

“They’re not my cup of tea either,” he nods, “I don’t like loud places.”

Smiling and nodding in approval, you lock your gaze with the stranger. “Me neither, actually.”

“Maybe we should go somewhere more quiet, then,” he says, his gaze making your skin burn. Everything about the stranger is making you hesitate and overthink every single action you do. Something about him makes you want to look cool in front of him– prove to both of you that you’re not as antisocial as you think you are, make some new friends to fill in the void the old ones made when you drifted away. His deep eyes make it hard for you to maintain eye contact with him and his words make you strangely shy around him, though; and you’re not sure if you like it or not.

Your hesitance makes him speak up again. “Okay, well… I’m Minghao, nice to meet you,” he says, his hand stretched out in front of him in a classy way of introducing himself.

“Y/N,” you peep. 

“I like your name,” he says, scooping a little closer to you. The scent of his cologne mixes with the smell of alcohol, making your stomach twitch and a sigh escape your mouth.

“Thanks,” you nod. The interaction is as awkward as it gets. The man next to you is ever so attractive– every single cell in your body screams at you to do something about it, anything, by the way he subtly tries to flirt with you (as the rational part of your brain suggests); but the rest of your cells stay uninterested and maybe a teeny, tiny bit uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the newness of it all that makes it so scary for you. You don’t know quite yet.

“What do you study?” he asks, curious.

“Business,” you mumble, seeing your new companion nod in interest. His face lights up in admiration, the laugh bubbling in his chest making you feel lighter.

“Woah, that’s crazy,” he says, “that’s far more useful than my major, you know.”

“What do you major in?”

“Fashion,” he says, gazing into your eyes with fake dramaticness, the sigh leaving his lips making you giggle.

You knew it.

“Makes sense,” you smile.

“Is it that obvious?”

Looking him up and down– obviously making him at least a little flustered by the way his face looks when you meet his eyes again– you shrug. “I can’t see you doing anything else, honestly.”

Scratching the back of his neck, he shrugs. “Well,” he says, “I guess that’s good.”

“Definitely,” you laugh. 

“You don’t look like a Business major, though,” he tells you. His statement makes you squint your eyes at him, furrowing your brows in an expression full of wonder.

“I don’t? Why?”

“I don’t know,” he mumbles, “I guess you just… don’t give off the vibes.” 

Laughing at him, you roll your eyes. “Yeah? And what vibes do I give off, then?”

His eyes meet yours again, the grin on his face making your insides scream. “Only the best ones, I suppose,” he mumbles, “but if we’re talking about majors, I’d say like… Philosophy, I guess?” 

Ignoring the first part of his sentence, you burst out laughing. “That was actually my second choice, you know.”

“Really?” he opens his eyes wide, shock lighting up his face.

“No.”

“Damn. I thought I was a psychic for a minute,” he shakes his head in disbelief, giggling.

His laid-back personality quickly makes you want to talk to him more. The first stress falls off you, his eyes no longer making you nervous, the glint in them rather making you intrigued in what the person in front of you has to offer. Your quick conversation is cut off by a yell from the living room, a man one head taller than him calling his name and waving him over.

“Oh, I guess I’ll have to go now. But I’d love to talk to you more,” he smiles, “maybe we can hang out sometime. I’d love to take you out on a date.”

His sentence catches you off guard. While Minghao is an attractive boy, full of charisma and qualities you could only desire, the proposement makes your thoughts halt and your brain shut down. You don’t think you have it in you to reply, but a deep voice from behind you does it for you as you hear a grunt of disapproval.

“She won’t go on a date with you.”

Looking around, you see Mingyu standing there, an arm subtly reaching around your shoulders. When you turn back to Minghao, the look he gives you is an examining one, the type that makes your skin burn and cheeks heat up. “Why? Are you two… dating?”

A second passes. And another one. Three, four– you almost think the time stopped, the snail speed of it all making you want to crawl out of your skin, when Mingyu finally answers the simple question.

“No.”

Minghao scrunches up his face, looking over the two of you, eyes drifting between your figures, close to each other. Flashing you a thoughtful smile, he nods. “I see how it is. It was nice meeting you, though, Y/N.”

And with that, he leaves. Baffled, you turn to Mingyu– your brain decides to turn on again, the gears working full speed as you can’t quite comprehend what just happened and why he decided to decline your date offer without your approval. It’s not like you wanted to say yes anyway– god knows you could never go on a date with Minghao when Mingyu’s all that’s on your mind– you just want to understand his behaviour without having to pick it apart when you can’t sleep at night.

“What the fuck was-”

He cuts you off with a kiss on your lips. 

Unexpected, rushed, kind of hard and a little too short. Just enough to make you utterly, completely confused.

“Can we talk?” you ask, chasing down his tall figure when you see him close to your university building. His pace is rushed and you feel like he is trying to avoid you– the same way he’s been the last few days since the party on Friday. 

“Oh,” he mumbles, “I have a class in 20 minutes, but yeah… I guess…” he says, shrugging. 

The two of you walk for a while, the university campus blurring in front of your eyes as your legs straddle on the pavement, the trees above you covering you in a blissful shade. When a bench appears in your line of vision, you decide to drag him to sit down, heaving out a sigh. 

You guess you can’t keep putting it off anymore. You want answers, you need answers– you have an exam next week and you can’t keep going back to that kiss all the time, because then, there’s no more space for lectures and knowledge you actually need. Clarity is everything you strive for right now, and even if it hurts, you need to get it even with the chance of losing something you desperately need.

“What… What was that on Friday?” you ask, seeing him wet his lips with the tip of his tongue; a habit you’ve noticed he picks up on when he’s nervous.

“What do you mean?” he mumbles, his voice a little raspy and hesitant.

“Come on. You know what I mean,” you sigh. You don’t have it in you to say it out loud. Of course he knows what you are talking about– if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be avoiding you all this time.

Chewing on his bottom lip, it seems like Mingyu doesn’t want to answer. No words are coming out of his mouth, his eyes are avoiding yours and you soon feel like you’re sitting there with a mime by the way he brings his arms up into the air for a split second, but puts them down soon again, shrugging. 

“Well… I didn’t want you to go on that date with that guy,” he finally says, his eyes still not meeting yours.

“Why?” you ask. Your voice is barely louder than a whisper– you almost forget to breathe with the anticipation you feel, cracking your knuckles as you await his answer.

Is this the breaking point you’ve been waiting for since middle school?

“I just- I just didn’t.”

“Am I not allowed to date anyone?” you ask, disbelief filling your voice. 

He looks at you for a split second, his dark eyes roaming all over your face. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he shrugs and tilts his head at you. “Did you want to date him?”

Looking away from him, you kick the rocks beneath your feet. He takes your silence as a sign.

“That’s what I thought.”

“Why did you kiss me?” you suddenly blurt out, seeing him flinch at the question. 

Mingyu builds a wall around himself. He sits right next to you emotionless, the distance between the two of you unusually big. You wonder what he’s going to say, you wonder if he’ll tell you about his feelings for you, or if he’s going to break your heart. Again.

“I just… wanted to,” he shrugs.

“Mingyu?” you call for him, wanting to see with him from eye to eye, quite literally, too.

“Hm?” 

“What… what are we?” you ask. It’s the question you always made fun of when it was used in the movies. Because why would anyone ever ask that– that’s what you always used to say. But now, looking at your best friend with the lines blurred everywhere you can reach, you can no longer claim that the question is stupid when you’re the one needing the answer.

Another hard swallow. 

“Friends,” he says. It sounds more like a question.

“Friends?” you ask, voice faint. 

“Yeah,” he nods.

“Do friends kiss each other?”

“I- I don’t see why they shouldn’t,” he mutters, looking away from you. The ignorance he tries to fake only fuels you harder, seeing that you’re minutes away from your breaking point. Another question falls off your lips, darting into Mingyu’s body like an arrow.

“So if you don’t want me to date anyone else, does that mean that you want to be the one dating me?” 

He takes a second to answer your question. His reply is quiet. 

“I didn’t say I don’t want you to date anyone else.”

You scoff in disbelief. 

And this is how Mingyu always is– he gives you no answers, no clarity. He doesn’t talk about his emotions– he shows them instead, making you feel confused and awake at night, the way he treats you makes you furious and flattered all at once.

“So we’re just friends, right?”

He gives you a nod.

“Okay. If you just want to be friends, then act like it. Be my friend, not something more. Be my friend, don’t kiss me. Don’t tell other guys they can’t date me. Don’t kiss my cheek when you drop me off, don’t draw silly hearts into my notebooks, don’t bring me chocolates on Valentine’s day, don’t cuddle me on the couch. Don’t give me false hope. Don’t go around blurring all the lines a normal person can see and acknowledge, if friends is all you want to be. Okay? Don’t play with my emotions.”

He looks at you like a kicked puppy. You don’t remember the part when he’s been hurt– because at the end of the day, you were the one that gave everything to him, and he was the one that wanted to keep his options open. 

You trusted him with your heart again. Silly you. 

You should’ve already known that Kim Mingyu doesn’t treat your heart with care. He’s clumsy, after all. You should’ve realised.

And when he walks away from you, claiming that he has a class in a few minutes, with tears rolling down your cheeks, you feel like your heart left with him, broken and all messed up. 

Both of you already know you can’t go back from this. 

There’s nothing more, but most of all, there will be no friends.

The third time he breaks your heart, you decide to hate him instead.

The moment you cross the doorsill to his room, you feel overwhelmingly silly. It’s almost like you stabbed yourself in the back, almost like you broke all the promises you made to yourself when you decided to hate the man a few months ago. 

Everyone kept asking you why you don’t speak to Mingyu anymore. You never told anyone. It’s not like it was anyone’s business in the first place, but at the same time, you just simply didn’t know what to say. Because what was even the reason anyway? 

That you couldn’t just stay friends with him because you were madly in love with him? That you couldn’t stand being around him, because with every single action of his, you felt like he was being unfair to you? Sometimes, you started to wonder if it all just wasn’t your fault. It was you who couldn’t stand not being committed to him. It was you who was in love with him, not the other way. You lost a friend because you wanted more of him than he was ready to give you. Was that fair of you? 

Over time, you started talking to Minghao. You two never got closer than good friends, but seeing Mingyu scoff and glare any time the other male was around you in front of his eyes made you feel at least a little victorious. The feeling had a bittersweet undertone, that was right, but it satisfied you anyway.

And the scoffs turned into snarky remarks. Mingyu started hanging out around other girls, but you just pretended to not care. In front of him, at least– you were a boiling mess of a volcano on the inside. 

Both of you were childish. But you weren’t going to back down.

When people asked you if you’re still going on the internship even though you and Mingyu are on bad terms, you stood your ground. On the inside, you contemplated staying home– the truth is, though, you worked too damn hard for this just to give it up now. It was your moment, your longest dream; you also couldn’t do it just because of a random man, no matter how important he once was in your life. That would also mean admitting defeat in front of him.

You were petty. But you were also heartbroken. So you were kind of in the right here.

But over time, while seeing Mingyu every single day in the same company as you while you were on your internship, you slowly began to realise just how much you’ve missed him. His completely devoted self, his ambitions, his dorky demeanour. The way he’s always clumsy and you found yourself helping him clean up the coffee from the ground one day, awkward smiles exchanged as you ran back to your supervisor and asked what your next task was. 

You can’t escape Kim Mingyu. Even if you start talking to someone else, even if you agree to go on a date with someone else on Valentine’s day– because fate just likes to keep messing you up and throwing bricks at you. Because the friendly corporate from Japan stood you up with no explanation and now you’re in Mingyu’s room just because you feel vulnerable and miss his presence too much.

Watching him sit back on his bed, keeping his eyes still on you, you feel yourself shrink under his gaze. 

“Weren’t you supposed to be on a date?” he asks. Of course– here comes the humiliation. 

“Yeah,” you weakly respond. You can’t escape the pathetic feeling in your bones, and you don’t even want to. You crawled back to someone that obviously didn’t care about you at all, so this is the price you have to pay, it seems.

“And why aren’t you?” 

Shrugging, you sigh. Taking a seat on the floor in his little room, resting your back against the wall, you feel a little safer now that he’s not in your direct point of view and you can focus on the streets of Tokyo in front of you instead. “Got stood up, I guess.”

An annoyed huff escapes the man somewhere far to your left, a grunt reaching your ears as he speaks up again, making you roll your eyes in annoyance. 

“What was his name again?”

“Why? You’ll have a talk with him tomorrow, or something?” you ironically chirp, meeting his eyes for a split second.

“That was the plan, yeah.”

A scoff heaves out of your chest, meeting the ceiling with your eyes instead. Hugging your knees to your chest, you decide to not answer. This is how Mingyu’s always been– somehow protective, but always in the silliest way possible. You know him too well to realize that he’s perfectly capable of doing what he says, but you also know that after all these months of not speaking to you, he may be a little reluctant. Which you’re glad– you don’t want him to embarrass you even more.

“Forget about it,” you weakly whisper.

The only sound reaching your ears in the silence is the ticking of the clock on his wall. The steady sound almost lulls you to sleep. It’s strange, the way this is your first conversation with the male after such a long time. It should make you feel more nervous than it did. 

“Don’t just sit on the ground, Y/N.”

“I like it here,” you mumble.

“The floor is cold. You’re gonna get sick.”

“Since when do you care?”

“I always have!” he snaps, which makes you turn around and finally look at him. His lips are parted and eyes honest, the bickering making him turn completely serious. You don’t know what it is, but the spite in you completely disappears as you chuckle at him, shaking your head in disbelief. This is what your relationship has come to?

A sigh follows your silence, the ruffling of his sheets and the sound of his feet against the floor only a background sound to you as you focus on staring out of the window. A clinking of glass, a thud on the floor. You snap your head back to Mingyu sitting next to you, crossing his legs as he puts a bottle of red wine on the ground between the two of you, eyes pointed straight ahead of him.

“I don’t have two glasses and I left my only one in the common kitchen at the end of the hall, so I hope you don’t mind sharing the same bottle.”

Glancing between him and the bottle, you close your eyes and brace for the impact. “Are you offering me wine?”

A shrug. “I know you got stood up by your date, but you don’t have to view this romantically. We’re just… friends.”

The word makes you freeze. Taking the opened bottle of red wine, you bring it up to your lips and take a sip, wiping the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Are we?”

“Huh?” he looks at you with big eyes, taken aback. You offer him the bottle, watching him take it from your hands; he doesn’t take a sip until you reply to him, though.

“Are we friends?”

“Well, considering the fact that you showed up at my door near midnight, I  kind of assumed we were.”

Taking the bottle back from him, letting the alcohol slide down your throat, you wonder if it’s really that simple. If this is all it takes for the two of you to talk again; if you reaching out to him is all you need to have him back in your life. All your life, it’s always been you and Mingyu. On and off– you in love with him and him breaking your heart. You distancing yourself from him and him always somehow getting you back with his friendly smiles. Maybe you can do it once more again. Maybe you’re ready to forget, just like you always have…

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he mumbles, making you hum in surprise. Your raised eyebrows make him continue.

“For everything. For… for not being clear with my emotions back then. For making you wait for me and giving you false hope. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t- I didn’t even feel like I was leading you on, because my actions were always honest, but at the same time, I just couldn’t bring myself to finally make it real.”

You’re silent. You can’t believe he’s finally saying sorry. You can’t believe he’s owning up to his mistakes. 

“I’m sorry for sending you mixed signals,” he mumbles.

You don’t tell him that it’s okay– because in reality, it’s not. You don’t tell him he’s forgiven, because you don’t know how long it will take you to open up his heart to him completely again, you don’t know when you’ll have it in you to look at it with a light heart and a clear mind. You don’t lie to him.

“But we could be something more. If you still want to, I mean. I still… I still care about you just the same.”

Chuckling, you twirl the bottle of wine in your hand around, sighing.

“Well, considering the fact that I showed up at your door near midnight on Valentine’s day and we’re drinking red wine together in Japan, I kind of assumed we already were.”

Looking him in the eye, you’re met with the widest grin. 

You’d be foolish to not fall for Kim Mingyu again. Not quite sure if your brain is sober or not, you think that after all those years, it will all be worth it one day. 

At 21 years old, you love Kim Mingyu for the fourth time. And you’ll do it again– silently falling in love with him every day, not trying to escape it or hide away anymore. He may not be perfect, but this February 14th, he’s completely yours.

[wonwooridul]

+ bonus: the cutest catto

minghao + kitten ☾ @97-liners ♡ from: your carat admirer ✧

[seungcy]

WII-RIFIC !

friendly competition with your boyfriend, and you are absolutely in your gamer era

♡ pairing - wonwoo x gn!reader

♡ notes - use of nicknames (baby), fluff, established relationship, wonwoo getting hit in the face (dont worry hes fine), mention of kisses, just dance idk which version im just gonna say all of em (he came prepared)

♡ author note - hi @polaroidjake !! i am your secret carat admirer !! i hope u enjoy this little drabble i made with you in mind <3 without further ado,,, lets get onto the drabble >:)

“I’m here!”

Wonwoo’s deep voice booms through your apartment as he closes the door behind him. You come out from around a corner and immediately engulf your boyfriend in a tight embrace.

“Happy Valentine’s baby, did you miss me?” He says whilst returning the hug with one arm, his other arm holding various bags.

“Of course woo.. how could I not miss my amazing, hot, talented, freakishly handsome boyfriend.” You smile as he suddenly lets go of your body and stares at you blankly.

“Did you do something? You don’t usually compliment me that much unless you’ve done something...” You shake your head in response and Wonwoo quickly rubs your back, hurriedly heading to your living room to place his bags on the floor.

Curiously walking over, you open a bag to see what was inside. Wires… and is that a Wii? What on earth is he going to do with a Wii… you ponder as Wonwoo turns to the bag you were ogling and snatches it from you.

“Nuh uh uh. No peeking. This was supposed to be your surprise.” He huffs while pulling out the console and setting it up on the TV stand. You cross your arms and sigh, was this gift really for you or… more for him?

ੈ♡˳

“Hold still, let me fix your control wristband…”

You sigh as Wonwoo holds your hand and tightens the wristband accessory on your Wii controller. Wonwoo smiles, content with himself at his efforts to keep you (and himself) safe, as he lets your hand drop back to the side of your body.

“Why are you making me wear the wristband again…?” You wonder as Wonwoo busies himself with the settings on the TV. He opens his mouth, waiting for the words to magically appear, but nothing comes out. “I.. I wanna make sure you don’t hurt your face… or mine.” He finally speaks and you lightly smack his arm, a soft ‘ow’ passing through his lips.

“Just because I dropped the controller on your foot ONE TIME doesn’t mean I’ll do it again.. promise.” You say crossing your arms, watching the look of concentration on Wonwoo’s face as he tries to get the controller accuracy test correct. Oh, he was definitely serious about this.

“I know… but just to make sure it doesn’t happen again. And… it did hurt.” Wonwoo turns to smile at you once the accuracy test is complete and you return the gesture, just happy to be able to spend today with him.

“Okay, ‘you ready to play Just Dance?”

“Are you ready for me to kick your butt?”

“We’ll see about that.”

ੈ♡˳

After several songs, you accidentally smacking Wonwoo in the forehead with your controller, and hello kitty bandages later, you stand victoriously in the middle of the living room as your boyfriend sits on the sofa completely drained.

You jump in excitement and throw your fist up into the air, “I beat you! I told you I would. You have NO chance going against me.” You playfully taunt while turning back to Wonwoo, who had now rested his glasses atop his head and closed his eyes. You walk over to his spot on the sofa and sit beside him, wrapping your arm over his torso. He opens his eyes to look at you and, when you both make eye contact, turns over to wrap his arms around your upper body. You laugh at this gesture and snuggle closer into his embrace.

“I might’ve lost at Just Dance, but I’ve won your love. And for me, that’s all that matters.” He confesses whilst peppering your face with kisses. You pretend to push him away as your eyebrows furrow together. “Ew! Cheese alert! Get away, what if I’m lactose intolerant!”

“Then tolerate it, sweaty.”

“Who are YOU calling sweaty! Looked in a mirror recently, hot stuff?”

“Oh so you think I’m hot? Thanks.” Wonwoo grins as you roll your eyes and get up, Wonwoo following suit. You grab your controller once more and turn to face your boyfriend, Wonwoo looking back at you and immediately getting an idea of what you are gonna ask.

“So… ready for round two?”

“If I win, you rub my feet for a week, and if you win then I’ll do whatever you ask.”

“Okay mister confident, can’t wait to see you grovel on your knees when I beat you again.”

[haniehae]

🍃💙 𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑉𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝐷𝑎𝑦 𝐴𝑙𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑎 @myungho 💙🍃

💌  𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚛

I had an amazing time talking to you and getting to know you more! I hope you like this lil mb I made for you!! I hope we can stay in touch and that you’re having an wonderful day love! <3

[shuaberriez]

☆.*+ carat admirer event!

oo la la, can't you just feel it in the air? that's right, folks, it's the season of loooove <3 inspired by the secret carat event, we bring to you your meet-cute of sorts with your very own secret carat admirer! hosted by yours truly and miss hana (@soonshuas ) !! <3

intrigued? of course, who wouldn't be? now let's go over a couple of ground rules before we get to your dramatic confessions of love (in the rain, obvi) <3

⇢ share the love! reblog this post, so that more carats can express their admiration <3

⇢ you can't go empty-handed on your first date! unfortunately, you must be a content creator to participate in this event, this includes those that make gfx, gifs, moodboards, fanfics, art, etc.

⇢ let us slide into your dms real quick! please keep dms and ask boxes open. this is the only way your admirer is able to contact you, and us, with who you have <3

⇢ c'mon bbygorl (gn), drop those pick-up lines you've been practicing! try to contact whoever you have frequently, which at a minimum should be at least once a week. you should try to get to know your admirer over the course of this event so that you can make something swoon-worthy <3 and don't forget to sign off your love letters with 'carat admirer' (and send your asks on anon!) so that they know it's from you <3 and try to get to know them! you could ask them questions about their biases, favourite songs, etc.

⇢ speed dating - let's get to know each other before this starts! please fill in this form before the 22nd of january, 11:59 pm KST. we will be letting you know who you have over the following days.

⇢ grab your chocolates and roses, it's valentines day! gifts and reveals should be made and presented to your person from the 14th to the 20th of february.

⇢ record your big, dramatic, rom-com worthy confession of love by tagging your creation with #caratadmirer

send us a love letter! if you guys have any issues regarding this event, please don't hesitate to drop either of us an ask or dm! we're here to help out <3

and don't forget to have fun! kiss, kiss, fall in love <3

[wonhuis]

‘cause you, you’re my everything, we’re a match!

♡ . . . happy (belated) valentines day, @xfirebenderx ♥     ⤷ from your carat admirer ✧

(scans cr. @000scans)

[polaroidjake]

✧ — getting closer by seventeen !

from: your carat admirer ♡

to: @wonkwans !

happy valentine's & carat day, lovely ! i'm star, your carat admirer <33 i was a little torn on what to make you but we immediately bonded over our love for getting closer so here it is ! i've loved getting to know you these past few weeks !! ♡

[happysmilebtr]

But Thank You For Staying By My Side - All My Love by Seventeen

happy valentine’s day from me to you @stevenyeuns i hope you can enjoy this lil gift i made (ngl i struggled with the text so i hope it’s readable?) may this day be filled with yummy sweets and warm hugs! i hope we can chit chat some more in the future!

[seokmins]

The heist of the century...! for @anyhao

♡ Hellowwww, Mairin, I am your secret carat admirer!! I hope you like this :3 you mentioned you liked the heist concept of HOME;RUN and although I couldn't fit everything I wanted in here, I thought it'd be a fun idea to go along with. I enjoyed talking and getting to learn about you, I hope we can talk a lot more from here on out

[xuseokgyu]

Movie Poster for @starlightjoong ‘s Dino fic: ‘Score’

💌 // My Dear Sol!

Finally Here it is! From your Secret Carat Admirer <3 Your little Rat :’) 

Since the moment you told me you had a Dino wip I knew I wanted to do a poster for it since this is (was?) my thing~ A match made in heaven if I might say so hehe

I had this basically ready since you told me the title, but then life happened and I didn’t finish it and you even posted the fic!! haha (had to change the ‘coming soon’ to ‘now in theaters’ ;) ) I didn’t find the time yet, but I’m dying to read it!! You know I love a good e2l

Anyway, I looooved getting to know you this past month!! I couldn’t believe I wasn’t following you yet.... Big mistake on my part, but is all corrected now 

I’m terrible at keeping in touch, but just know you are now on my ‘tumblr friends’ list, so you can come to me whenever 

xoxo

- your secret admirer ♥//

[97-liners]

wen junhui looking beautiful and ethereal for @s0ftbb love, your carat admirer <3

[coupsnim]

hi again~ i hope the moving is going well , and that you've found a wonderful spot to relax and unwind 💖 as a fellow introvert i totally get it; also living alone sounds amazing 🥺 i also hope you're having fun visiting your friend!! pleas enjoy and stay safe :)) and happy valentine's day izzie 🥰 you've been a wonderful admiree - carat admirer 💖

hiii chey 🧡

living alone has it's pros and cons ahah but yeah, it's always better than being with my parents 24/7 😂

I had fun visiting my friend, has a crazy weekend but now I'm at work and I just want to sleep ahah I'm getting way too old for this kind of stuff ahah

I'm so happy I got you as my admirer, thank you for always being so sweet! 🧡 hope you have a great day and a great start of the week!

[soonhoonsol]

to my caratadmirer, i’m sorry i’m taking so long to reply you. i’ve been really busy and been feeling really crappy lately so i’m gonna wait till i feel better to reply okie!!

[yyxgin]

hello there! hope you're doing well!

I'm doing well, just getting more and more busy unfortunately ahah missing the christmas season where I didn't have anything to do anything ahah

I do hope it happens, the more I think about this collab the more I want it to happen! pledis please do the right thing for once 🙏 ahah I remember his collab with pristin eunwoo and I loved how their voices blended together, so it would be cool to hear him on a similar song again. honestly I would love for him to sing with jamie, since they're also friends!

vernon and 5sos... that would be interesting but I can totally imagine it! it would be very cool, although I'm more of a fan of their recent stuff!

uuuh I'm not sure either, I'm a big fan of kwon jinah, I loooove her voice and I would die for her to collab with dokyeom, I think their voices would suit each other so much! also woozi and wonstein? I think they would make something cool! and I would love for scoups to collaborate with bang yongguk but that's for personal reasons only ahah I know it will never happen but a girl can dream right? ahah

hope you have a great weekend!

ps: I nearly finished your little present, but I don't know if I'll be able to post it on monday since I'll be away the whole weekend. I won't make you wait too long I promise ahah 🥰 - caratadmirer

helloo!!! uhh i totally know what you mean. i had so much time during christmas, but i also coincidentally absolutely despise the christmas season so i really dont wanna go back, especially since this christmas was a really sad one for me lol

HIM AND JAMIE !!!! i think their voices would sound so good together. totally. i'm a fan of all stuff 5sos so i agree with you on this, but i personally think he'd fit the older stuff mainly bc of the 2 minus 1 vibe. all of your collab ideas sound wonderful!!!

hope you have an amazing weekend! i was at work yesterday but i got a raise so im not really complaining. i have a lot of studying to do today tho, so i hope to get it done fast. im really excited for your gift !!!! post it whenever you have time <3 no rush

[xuseokgyu]

FRIEND im so sorry for taking a long time to send another ask, i got kind of busy with life and my feelings dksks. anyways, thank you! you can also always vent to me (when i come off anon ofc sjsj)

well, its not like i had to learn czech. slovak and czech is literally so similar that we can fully understand each other without having to learn. we used to be one country for a long time so we still have this brotherly relationship with czechs :) every slovak grows up w czech movies and songs and stuff as well as slovak, so its kind of impossible to not know czech if youre slovak. german, however, is....a struggle.

update on the fic: i have ONE MORE scene to write. One more. idk if i can post it on monday tho, bc i have work tomorrow and then i have a shitton of assignments to do on sunday 😭 ill try to finish it asap, tho

im definitely gonna listen to your song recs soon!! my favorites from kpop are svt (obviously) txt and also nct dream 😎😎 anything by them is a bop for me. but im also a HUGE 5sos fan. ive been a fan of them for like 7 years now, its crazy. their latest album calm is amazing. i am an emo kid at heart so i definitely recommend anything by paramore too.

ANYWAYS! i hope you had a great week <3 -caratadmirer

No need to apologize!!!! Not only I’m just answering you now I have also taken quite a while to message my own carat so I know exactly what that’s like 😅

Oh yeah that makes perfect sense... You probably have a better grasp of czech than I have of Portugal’s Portuguese hahah Is essentially the same language, but the accent, idioms and even some different vocabulary make it so I have to take my time to make sure I got it hahah

Take all the time you need on the fic 🥰 I’m excited to read it, no matter when it comes

I’m slowly getting into TxT... I’ve found myself enjoying the kinda raspy undertone they have and Paramore! That’s a good group too!! I should be more updated on the stuff they put out

Happy Valentine’s Day and Carats day 💕💕💕

[coupsnim]

*manifesting svt going to europe once covid ends* i hope you get to see them in person one day!! you deserve to 💖 i never understood why they'd call it a world tour when it's just the US and Asia... 😭 and yeah!! clap era coups was phenomenal.. he looks great in grey/blue hair. ooh do you usually live alone? i hope you find a great apartment soon!! it sounds so nice to have your own apartment 🥰 - caratadmirer

well this year we're getting a new full album which usually means they're going on tour... hopefully they will include a few stops in europe too 🙈

europe it's not the best continent if you want to see a kpop concert ahah I've been a kpop fan for 10 years and I saw like two concerts (one of which was 10 years ago ahah), so... yeah ahah let's just laugh about it 🙃

I don't really live alone, as I live with other people, but I moved out of my parents house when I started uni. now I'm looking for my own apartment because I'm tired of living with strangers, I need my own space ahah it was okay when I was a student, but now that I started working I really need a quiet space where I can unwind 🥰

have a wonderful day!