#capable of Change
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love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking
#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire#'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem#the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted#also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out#so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my#notifs page cleanish lol#also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3#secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because#of investors bankrolling everything#and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest#however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point#once again. so many murder dollars#so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction#anyways . love yall 💕#origibberish#bigger gibbers
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No single line has ever wrecked me as hard as this one from the Good Place and I think about it constantly
#the good place#i'm binge watching it again and it just takes me out so hard#i get lost in the sauce thinking about this quote#the idea that those who hurt you are capable of being better people and then seeing them change and grow just hits me right between the rib#who am i kidding it stabs me like the senators stabbed Caesar#anyway#icy does a tag ramble
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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something something max's main color being red with blue highlights something something grace's main color being blue with red highlights something something motivations something something alive and dead something something
#would i like to do an analysis on the lighting? yes.#but for some reason my brain is only capable of analyzing bf and some bits of tgwdlm#dont expect much from me#but something i CAN say is that#the colors can represent their motivations and connections to the lords in black#such as dying in the waylon hall and getting to use the black book#and by motivations i mean#with grace; she decided to use the powers of the black book to get rid of 'dirty dudes'#which is something she most likely believes as a correct action#but the red highlights indicate the bits on evilness in her#it shows how her intentions don't change her actions#and for max; red is for vengeance#yet the blue highlights are used in here#mostly for 'who will pray for me' bit#and#this is something related. i believe that max was reflecting himself when saying those lines#it was not only for richie to repeat but also about himself#anyway back to the lighting#the blue represents that there is something deeper than just vengeance#'who will pray for me when im gone'#thats about himself. he knows that no one in the schoo really cared that much about his death besides the game#they only cared about the game. not max himself#so the lights during both npmd and ddmd represent#their connections to the lords. their motivations and intent. and how their actions are made#starkid#hatchetfield#nerdy prudes must die#npmd#max jagerman#grace chasity
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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So, a changeling is sort of like a p-zombie?
(For the unaware, “p-zombie” stands for “philosophical zombie”. It’s a thought experiment in philosophy that describes a being that’s outwardly identical to a human, but does not have a consciousness; that is, a p-zombie does not think whatsoever, although it looks like it thinks to an outsider observer. There’s a whole wikipedia article on it that explains the concept better than I can!)
They don't exactly think, as in "I dont want this" "I like that". But, Changelings do have a form of "Consciousness". It's just that their consciousness is more like a series of commands or tasks than actual formulated thoughts.
Timmy's Changeling has a very advanced "consciousness". It can predict future actions and reroute its tasks to pick only the best options for its situation.
We fill their heads with static to ensure that the Changeling does not form thoughts about anything. Thoughts leads to opinions, and opinions leads to incorrect actions. A proper Changeling should have more static in their mind than a TV screen on a defunct channel!
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#chimmy changa#asks#itty bitties fop au#changelings are like. a mix between puppetry and pre-programmed coding#because i like the idea of mixing the two genres of fantasy pinocchio-like creature with sci-fi machinery#(<- watched the pinocchio 3000 movie as a kid and it changed my brain chemistry)#the bigger and louder the static the less theyre capable of creating thoughts!!!!#man its a good thing we can increase the amount of static a changeling has. good thing static is all powerful and can never ever be ignored#hahahahahhahahaha#fun fact the simplier the changeling the less static it needs#hazel's changeling doesnt even have a set of commands#it like. it doesnt even have a consciousness. nothing but pure vibes and movement. and space.#'but cubs! chimmy has likes and dislikes! doesnt that count as thoughts??' i hear you ask#and the answer to that is.#hrm. it shouldnt be doing that.
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the callum / runaan dynamic is so funny bc like. out of nowhere your daughter has a boyfriend who happens to be the most wildcard character you imagine she could find - human (mind you you're currently in the process of unlearning all your racial prejudices), magical, and a government official in addition to all of his other Emo Personal Lore - and they're the most beautifully devoted but also most painfully public affection-displaying couple you've ever seen and the guy also kind of freed your soul from purgatory plus you love and trust your daughter so basically you just kind of have to Deal With It. yet it would seem he's determined to make that as difficult as possible because he is the biggest fucking dork you have ever met in your life and it seems you are the only person who is bothered by this because your husband is amused, your daughter thinks he is the greatest thing to ever happen, and the dumbass himself attempts to show you some respect but also apparently refuses to stop being cringe so now you must continue on with your life while this loser teenager does your daughter in the room next to yours every night and you can't do anything about it because oh yeah you killed his father
#like he's just There#like rayla's just like “oh yeah he lives here now” and YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT#because they are in no place to be disapproving of rayla over anything#and again of course he is so good to her and he makes her so happy and you can't deny they are in unfathomable amounts of love#so yeah ok you have to tolerate him but you'd think he'd act like someone who is living with his girlfriend's parents whom he just met#and yeah he does try to suck up but he's also acting a fool every day of his life and is apparently not looking to change that#and he is not AT ALL shy with your child and will suck her face off any chance he gets#and rayla is so smart and strong and capable that you know she knows exactly what she's doing#and-#i cannot fucking say this enough#-you just have to *DEAL WITH IT.*#rayllum#moonfam#runaan#tdp runaan#callum#tdp callum#rayla#tdp rayla#tdp s7#tdp spoilers#tdp#the dragon prince#continuethesaga#giveusthesaga#tdp fav tag#self fav tag i hate myself
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Jinx was so worried about Vi replacing her with an enforcer in s1 only for s2 to confirm and approve of this development AFTER showing that Jinx was actually capable of changing for the better
#and we all though jinx was overreacting in s1#arcane#arcane critical#jinx#anti caitvi#paracritical#this would be a meaningful arc for vi to unburden herself from her own guilt#but then the show goes out of its way to redeem jinx only to be like SIKE she needs to just go and vi is better off without her#even tho she is capable of change
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So I've said multipe times now (here and here) that thinking nmj is just so blinded by privilege he doesn't undertand that acting out of line gets people killed is, in my opinion, a misunderstanding of his character that ignores the part where he's, you know, actively dying the whole time and thinks that's a good thing. But that doesn't mean I don't think privilege plays no role at all in how he views the world.
Specifically, his view that death (at least premature or violent death) means something.
Death isn't always a tragedy to NMJ, but it is always meaningful. If you kill an evil dangerous person for your righteous cause, that death had meaning. There was evil in the world and now there is less of it. Similarly, if you die in the pursuit of your righteous cause, that death has meaning, because the sheer dedication you gave to it that you were willing to die for it will further that cause, and your bretheren will be invigorated by your sacrifice to fight even harder.
If a death isn't meaningful, that's an injustice and it is up to the living to give it meaning. That's what cuts so deep about his father's murder. There were no consequences, no changes, no meaning. Wen Ruohan was just going to get away with it! He fights and wins an entire war to make it mean something, to make it so that the unjust murder of Nie Mingjue's father is part of Wen Ruohan's downfall.
But this is a view he can only hold because he's the kind of person who's death will be meaningful. Most ordinary people's deaths are meaningless. Not ontologically, not inherently, but they are made meaningless because no one cares. For death to be meaningful you either have to be so powerful that anything you risk your life for will be impacted in some way. (Like, say, if you sacrifice a long life for immense martial power in a faustian bargain with a blade) Or if people with that kind of power care enough about you to do so for you. For most people, this isn't true. A starving street kid has no power to change the unfair world that put them there, even if they risk their life trying, and no one will do it for them once they die.
Nie Mingjue knows this in abstract, and of course rightfully believes it's wrong. But all that does is make it yet another righteous cause people should be willing to die for. Everyone's deaths should mean something, we'll make it so or die trying!
This is what the conflict between nieyao is about at its core. Because Jin Guangyao, fundamentally, cannot conceive of his own death as meaningful. Nie Mingjue grew up around powerful men who could change the world but refuse to do so because god forbid they risk a single hair on their perfect heads. Meng Yao, on the other hand, grew up in an environment where no one of importance would blink twice if you died. He was surrounded by meaningless death. Indeed his entire early life is defined by that lack of care.
Meng Shi dies and no one cares. Meng Yao gets thrown off a flight off stairs and no one cares. He has to be the one to do the caring, and once he's gone no one else will do it for him.
So he has to live.
Jin Guangyao eventually gets far enough that he actually does aquire the power to change some things... as long as he's alive. If he changes too much, holds on too tightly to his ideals, he'll die and it'll all be for nothing. He can't sacrifice himself for his goals because doing so would immediately render those goals unobtainable. No one will care about what he tried to do. He won't be a heroic sacrifice, he'll just be trash that finally cleaned itself up.
And well... Nie Mingjue dies, and someone makes it mean something. Makes it mean so much that the entire story of mdzs would not exist without it. Jin Guangyao dies and it doesn't mean anything. Most people are glad to be rid of him, and the few that are not don't do anything to change that.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#meng yao#nieyao#of course the inherent tragedy is that nmj is totally THE guy to ask if you want your death to mean something#nmj's reaction the the fact that most ppl's deaths are meaningless is to go: yes and I should change this.#If everyone thought like me this wouldn't happen anymore I simply need to get EVEN MORE HARDCORE about justice to MAKE them care#and this quality- which makes him the one person perhaps capable of making jgy's death mean something- also makes him a threat to his life#so jgy kills him because he needs to live. And then his beliefs about the meaninglessness of his own death are doomed to be true#what else was he supposed to do? just die and TRUST that someone would make it mean something?#like his mother trusted that his father would come back for them?#of course he can't do that.#just like how nmj's upbringing means that by the stairs he can't see how jgy- son of a sect leader and extremely capable-#is any different from the men who wrung their hands and told him that wen ruohan is just *too powerful* they can't do anything about him.#(*guy who killed wrh and wil go on to kill jgs voice* i just can't do anything about my dad being evil)#if jgy had agreed to risk his life and asked nmj to make it mean something if he died nmj would have said yes.#which is why he can't understand jgy wouldn't just ASK that.#jgy meanwhile has not been informed that was a fucking option and if he was wouldnt be able to trust that it'd actually happen.#for reasons outlined above#ahhh tragedy and inability of characters to understand each other i love you
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i'm so glad they brought back tommy for buck. they could've brought back eli. they could've brought back the openly gay firefighter. they could've introduced someone new. but instead they brought back tommy: the guy who was stuck in the old boys' club, as well as figuring himself out around the same age as buck. the guy who wasn't warm or welcoming to chim or hen when they first arrived but who clearly struggled with doing so, and then who came to appreciate them and have their backs and enjoy their friendship. the guy who was there to see how bobby made a real difference to the 118, made it like a family before he left. the guy who was there for bobby's introduction of 'family dinners'. the guy who left the 118 so that buck could take his place there. the guy with the tk initials. the guy who shares a name with 2 other poignant tommys in the narrative for buck. the guy who chim called not once but twice for help and he answered. the guy who was saved by chimney and who will (hopefully) get to return the favour. the guy who made such pivitol personal growth in his time at the 118 thanks to chim and hen and bobby. they brought back the guy who proves that it's never too late to change, to grow, to be open and soft and caring. that it's never too late to learn about yourself, to figure out who you are as well as the person you want to be. that it's never too late to become a better version of yourself.
#tommy kinard#i love him So Much More now that i've seen his s2 eps - he grows so much over those 3 eps!!! he went from tommy 1.0#to tommy 2.0 to 3.0 to now 4.0. he's grown like buck has grown and it's just- *chef's kiss!*#for some reason tumblr decided to put ant* tommy posts on my for you page and they were bitching#about bringing back tommy (1.0/2.0) like he was a concrete idea incapable of growth. i just shook my head.#bc obviously these people have missed one of the main points of the show: that people are capable of positive change.#you know what that is? growth. 🌱#.txt#911 abc
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I think it's so funny how Natsu Hyuuga has pressed so many times how "Kusuriya is not a love story. Romance is not the focus. Also fuck Jinshi" then write up the greatest slow burn ever known to man. Not only that, she's literally made Jinshi, the very character she's known to VOCALLY DESPISE, to be one of the most fleshed out characters in the entire 15 volumes of the light novel
#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#authors absolutely hating the pretty boy in their stories will never not be funny to me#like queen be so fr ..you like the sparkly boy#the part abt kusuriya not being a love story still holds true (somewhat)#but is just so amusing how capable this woman is in writing romance while also placidly denying it#is very admirable in a sense#how she manages to sprinkle in juuust the right amount of romance each volume#never change (but pls give jinmao a happy ending)
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seeing all those sheep/goat vaschete asks inspired me to draw these (they got a bit more lazy as i went on but it's whatevs)
i like to imagine that machete could be a long haired goat breed which would give him his signature floof! couldn't choose which one to settle with tho ^^"
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#aaaa these are so charming#I'm having trouble deciding which one I like the most#the goats have the floof and impressive horns#but the two sheep are also really appealing from character design standpoint#border leicester is one of my favorite breeds of sheep they have such excellent shapes#intense roman noses and big rabbit ears#and it's kind of comical how little Machete's face changes when you switch from dog to this specific sheep#and jacob sheep are simply iconic in their own right#these are lovely#thank you!#gift art#sloppygoaty#Machete#own characters#you have a lot more faith in his capability to grow a pair impressive horns than I do#I feel like his would either be kind of unremarkable#or he would have them removed entirely to look more sheeplike
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i switched out Gizmo's collar for a braided grass cord--I think that it'd recognize a collar is too dangerous to have in the wild (choking hazard!), but still want to keep the memory of its life before. The bell probably got stuffed with mud or moss to keep it from making too much noise
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#do i think that the cats are necessarily capable of braiding things? no#do i still want to keep this one concept? yes#maybe they. found the braided grass in the woods. idk#clangen#clan generator#art#fallenart#gizmo#ashblink#toadbelly#sootstep#littleleaf#canarypaw#yes gizmo has polydacylism now. love and joy forever#i am not sure im spelling that right. bitch has extra toes#oh and lmk what you all think of these colors for greenleaf!#ik its Greenleaf not Yellowleaf but. in my experience summertime tends to be more yellow than green. plus i wanted newleaf to be green#but if enough ppl rlly want it to be green i can change newleaf to be pink or yellow or smth
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I guess we doing clothes now
#it's clothes for Finch and armor for Thaw#mostly experimentation atm but I do have some ideas#for the two here it's what they wore when they first met. Finch barely changes since I have a clear image with her#as chimeras spokesdragon she should be well adorned and have the capability to transport important scrolls#Thaw on the other talon is a bit mixed since she was armored when they first met so I had to figure out how icewing armor would be#their tribe hasn't got that much experience with metal and smiths in general are pretty limited so either it's barely any armor#or mostly armor out of hide and bone. The latter is cool and seperates the tribes in style but doesn't convince me in terms of protectivene#alas as I said we try out#not that there'll be much to desing pffff#art#my art#doodle#airi momoi#shizuku hinomori#prsk wof au#project sekai#wof#wings of fire
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I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???
and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?
a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting
and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.
every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you
and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)
and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.
a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.
not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.
#sorry this turned kinda angsty I just think eliot famousaliases spencer is a great reoccurring joke#eventually an indeterminate amount of months later you see him pop up again and you breathe#at this point all the intel you’ve gotten points that he’s actually doing something good with his life#like he’s changed. and you know he’s a bad guy but he’s doing things that nobody else is really capable of doing. making changes on large#and small scales#he will face consequences eventually you are sure. but his tracks are so well covered already and he’s so slippery so maybe. maybe you just#don’t make your agents work so hard to track him down#you get to know sterling a bit better (and maybe understand him a bit better too)#sterling invites you to an off the books lunch at this brewpub in portland when you’re in the states. the head chef looks familiar#it’s the best food you’ve ever tasted. because OF COURSE it is#at this point you’re not even angry. or resigned anymore. you’re slightly impressed#anyways that’s how sterling’s leverage club gains another member#(mcsweeten was the second member btw. if you’ve seen my other posts)#eliot spencer#eliot spencer meta#headcanons#humor#leverage#jim sterling#(mentioned)#the studio job#the blue line job#the three strikes job#ficlets#mine#a post not on my queue??? more likely than you think#I should make a tag for in universe pov posts#into the leverage verse#headcanons in the tags#the rundown job
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Many late diagnosed autistics: Earlier diagnosis would have definitely been only a good thing and led to so much more understanding and acceptance of myself
Me, from the age of 11, any time I didn't have an emotional reaction someone else did: Well this is clearly because of what the media reliably tells me is Broken Robot Disorder, I am cold and unfeeling by nature and can never develop emotional awareness, and furthermore this makes me a bad person, if you can even call me a person
#actuallyautistic#internalised ableism#diagnosis#so it turns out i am capable of crying at funerals#now that i am 30 and have changed since the age of 14#you know the whole#everyone else is always growing and changing and that's not really my jam 🙃
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