#cantmakethisshitup

[darkstarswitch]

Things going on

About three weeks ago I was invited to a birthday/graduation party for my best friend's daughter. It's been forever since I have seen my best friend or her kids, and my, how they have grown! But that is not the point to this story.

The graduating daughter, I will call her Jane, is on the spectrum, high functioning, smart but naive and easily lead and has been bullied throughout her school life. She had been forced to leave the brick-and-mortar building and finished her classes online. This daughter developed an interest in EMT/Firefighting at the age of 16 and met a young man who was 21 and volunteered at the firehouse. I have no problem with a 21-year-old mentoring kids interested in getting into this field. What I have a problem with is this particular 21-year-old having a particular interest in this particular 16-year-old. I saw red flags all over the place and my best friend and I had talked about it. Bestie was okay with this 21-year-old hanging out and "taking 'Jane' under his wing". I got creeped out.

One night I get a phone call from Bestie who tells me that Jane and 21-year-old are "friends" and that she is completely okay with this and that she has told Jane that if she wants 21-year-old to be her boyfriend she has to wait until she is 17 to make it official. I lost my shit. By the time Jane turns 17, 21-year-old will be 22. Bestie goes on to tell me that it's okay because 21-year-old knows how to handle Jane's outbursts and knows how to calm her down. That's great, Bestie, does he know how to handle Jane's homicidal, blind rages? Bestie assures me that all is well. Okay Bestie if you and your hubby are good with this, I will keep my alarm bells to myself. Honestly Jane deserves to be happy. She deserves to have a good guy in her life. Fingers crossed for them.

Jane turns 17. 21-year-old is now 22 and they officially become a couple. Fast forward to now. Jane is 18, 22-year-old is now 23. Jane thinks she is all grown up. She just graduated high school and 23-year-old boyfriend has knocked her up. This party is now a birthday/graduation/engagement party because HIS parents are forcing them to get married. Bestie and her husband would rather they wait because Jane cannot handle being pregnant, getting married, graduating and having adult responsibilities thrown at her all at once. She is being a bitch to everyone, her mother, her father, her sister, the few friends that she has. It was at the party that it hit me. Baby daddy is a predator. He has been grooming Jane for three years!

I find Bestie. I pull her aside and I tell her what I am feeling. I tell her what I am seeing, putting all the pieces together. Bestie says to me, "Yeah. You are probably right. But after the way Jane and baby daddy have been treating all of us for the past three years, I don't care. She is his problem now." My jaw hit the ground. Bestie goes on to tell me that she did not know about this party until the day before, that Jane and grandmom planned the whole thing without her. The wedding will be in three weeks and Jane has told her mother that she was not allowed to be there. Younger sister was going to be the MOH but that has been taking away because Jane is now a Bridezilla and younger sister is "going to be prettier than me." Wait. It gets better.

Five days after the party, Bestie text me to tell me that Jane has miscarried. Jane is being stand offish about it. Baby daddy is more upset than Jane. This is good! This means that Jane and baby daddy can extend their engagement and not have to rush into anything. This takes pressure off of Jane and her mother. Oh no. Silly me. Nope. The wedding is still on because HIS parents will not allow the two love birds to move in with each other unless they are married. But it was okay that they were living together when Jane was 17...

So, the updates are this: Bestie is fully aware that her then underage daughter was being groomed by a predator. Allowed the then 17-year-old Jane to date a 22-year-old and move in with him. Allowed the 22-year-old to disrespect her and Jane. Allowed them to play house under her roof and is now being told that she is allowed to be at the wedding as long as she does not protest the marriage. Little sister has been booted out of the wedding party because she will be prettier than the bride and these two love birds are demanding the kind of wedding gifts that would be appropriate for couples in their late twenties' early thirties (seriously, what does an 18-year-old need with a John Deer Zero turn riding mower?!)

Guys, I really wish I could say that I made all this up, but I am not that clever. The wedding is in two days. Bestie and her husband give them six months. I give them three. Bestie has told both Jane and baby daddy that if shit hits the fan, they are not welcome back.

[bigmak90]

Who wants to be my valentine???? I'll get you chocolate and flowers........ #quittouchingshit #cantmakethisshitup #flawda #foreveralone (at The Trap) https://www.instagram.com/p/CoVmlHDguMp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[diminiekook]

he is a lil baby im so soft for him

[karmajoker247365]

[peplovedabest]

Take note of the page this prophecy was written on. #cantmakethisshitup #strangerthanfiction #blackprophet @therealhierocrew @hieroafterdark (at Oakland, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9qArH3ANP6/?igshid=1u2fzvtfto1m2

[teenagecelebritiespopcroissant]

It went from funny to fucking Snickers the snake

[cjsunquietmind]

Can’t make this shit up 😂 #cantmakethisshitup #bkawk #ilivehere #sullivancatskills #chickenfestival https://www.instagram.com/p/ChN1o2pJ8-U/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[modalife69]

Good morning…. #shootday #lifeofacostumer #setlife #conversationpiece #cantmakethisshitup #keepslifeinteresting (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbNI9UpLn44/?utm_medium=tumblr

[alchemylight]

#nodalaxis in #taurus and #scorpio with #ruler #venus and #mars together first sextile #neptune then conjunct #pluto With #jupiter and #neptune meeting up, it's gonna go off the charts 🤔. #spillingtheastrotea #cantmakethisshitup #asabovesobelow (at Singapore, City. Asia.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbD_nMFvMif/?utm_medium=tumblr

[influencegetem]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Influence Getem aka Hannabal on Call 🔵 (@ig730gotbars)

This is a good one 🤷🏾‍♂️ 🚧 Reposted from @bryanking7129 Yup its crazy out here for gas it's time call Uber, Lyft, or dust off the bikes thanks @deontaylor for this. #cantmakethisshitup #actorslife #IMDbPro #njsda #wegonmakeit #brickcity #stayhumble #paperwebseries #trainingday https://www.instagram.com/p/CbC9_hIAKAY/?utm_medium=tumblr

[alwaysgiveascrap]

We all know 2020 sucks, and now your mask can too! 😂🤣😂 Thanks to my Aunt Colleen for planting this idea in my head 🤪. 📸Pictured: Adult size pleated mask with silicone straw hole & plug. #alwaysgiveascrap #cantmakethisshitup #2020sucks #drinkup #ewwcovid #facemasks #drinkingmask #strawsareokduringcovid (at Clarks Summit, Pennsylvania) https://www.instagram.com/p/CGNL5j4nAtd/?igshid=6jjeae5jwpge

[nynie96]

🤣🤣🤣 This means he's married to a man??? 🤔🤔🤔 #cantmakethisshitup https://www.instagram.com/p/CE5mih2BEgN4dMMS8buf214cjZb81hGMexhGsk0/?igshid=80tdwcsevr4k

[thedandylorian]

My wife's hometown is 🅵🆄🅻🅻 of WTF moments, here is today's. Can we talk about how this is less Tiger-King-ish than it is an allegory of Alabama's obsession with Africa and generational bondage? Death is always sad, but birth then life in captivity for side-line athletic attraction is some fucked-up, depressing, morally reprehensible, multi-layered tragedy. Yet somehow not an unknown characteristic of AL history. At least she's (Una) getting honored as a 2021 UNA Woman of the Year. 🤦💔 #sarcasm #cantmakethisup #cantmakethisshitup https://www.instagram.com/p/CCGXZDQDR4U/?igshid=k0bf8lde0qcc

[abeautyfullmess]

bath for #mykaikaibabyforever then a blizzard happened for a few minutes. #whatintheworld2020 heard of an earthquake in the philippines too @abeautyfullmessphotography #cantmakethisshitup https://www.instagram.com/p/B_-29kzjk89/?igshid=1ayqymfsep7av

[lazyjackpressllc]

Bc times aren't already bonkers, my mom's friend wants to do a sculpture of my head 😂🤔🙄 #tiburon #sculpture #artist #quarantine #socialdistancing #art #marin #cantmakethisshitup #cheers (at Tiburon, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_OFe0TDpUI/?igshid=zzp4lw4umtpa

[bigdogmompam]

Ready for spring time #shenanigans #gosmelltheroses #wtftheyuptonow #saferathome #cantmakethisshitup https://www.instagram.com/p/B-p1w4_j5Jm/?igshid=pi2t10oxsdeq