#cantaloupe humor

[what-marsha-eats]

[zoethehead]

(YAYYYY, MY FIRST B99 REFERENCE IN MY ART!)

And, here's the full comic, introducing watermelon cookie's sister, Cantaloupe cookie.

She isn't thrilled at all about her brother being a patient in the hospital where she works, all because watermelon cookie nearly crumbled trying to stop silent salt cookie's reign of terror.

Also, Watermelon cookie being a casual dumbass as always

[ahedderick]

Kids, man

Oh, geez. I can't even remember how funny stuff got passed around in the earlier days of the internet. I do know that lots of people would forward 'humorous' emails around, and it was difficult or impossible to figure out who had created the original content. However. I remember one of those pass-arounds was a list of things you had to do to be able to say you were "ready" for parenthood. Two things from that list have stayed with me forever.

One: In order to prepare for having children, take a live goat to the grocery store with you. You have to get through the store and buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat destroy anything or harm anyone. If you plan on having multiple children, you must take multiple goats. (If anyone wants to borrow a goat for this purpose, Nutmeg volunteers)

Two: Suspend a whole cantaloupe from the ceiling by a string. Cut a small hole in one side of the cantaloupe. Get some Cheerios and milk in a bowl. Now, set the cantaloupe swinging gently. Try to spoon the Cheerios into the hole in the melon.

Just those two things had me laughing until I cried. I had really good kids, mind you! But we certainly had our challenging moments. Those items sound like they are humorously exaggerated. However. I must tell you. They are not.

@rederiswrites do you remember any moments like that?

[guitarstringed-scars]

cantaloupe island: the goats

masterlist

fun facts:

-osamu doesn't have his own account, but he uses the onigiri miya as a personal one sometimes, which customers really like

-atsumu is monitored because he got banned on twitter because osamu mass reported his account

-bokuto has horrible brainrot humor, but he only does it because he likes peoples reactions

-bokuto, atsumu, and shoyo all live together and osamu and suna live next door so they are all basically roommates

-osamu wants to move

taglist: @froyaoya @nbcvs @mylahrins @19calicos @wyrcan

@hyenagoated

[staticmonstera]

i am appalled by you saying im not addicted

change your mind now or im gonna force you to eat a cantaloupe

oh no i was absolutely saying you're addicted before. twas just a bit of humor. you should go outside.

[lokisbiiiitch1993]

An Unforgettable Vacation -Part 2 - Loki Fic

Check out Part 1 here

Just my Daydreams written down

Warning ⚠️Loki is a Sexy Stranger , probably dumb Humor and maybe smut later on the next part ...not proofread because I am on Vacation and lazy lol

The next Day

I woke up early but stayed a while in Bed and thought about last night ,my Flirt with Loki and how embarrassing it was . I mean who says things like that?Oh my Gooood screaming internally

I am on Vacation - I need to get myself together

A few minutes later I put a cute Summerdress on and went Downstairs to the Breakfast Buffet .

Searching for a Table somewhere offside - to eat in Peace . I went to the Buffet and filled my Plate - suddenly a deep voice said - You must have a huge Appetite for such a Small Human

Well ..it's an All you can Eat - so I will eat till I am full

I understand - Loki replied and sits next to me

Surprised I looked at him - he just smirked at Me - almost grinning like the Devil

Loki took a piece of my Cantaloupe and ate it - looking at me he said I hope you don't mind

Mischief,are you trying to provoke me ?I said flirty

Well , you took the last Piece at the Buffet

I am sorry I said with a smile

After finishing my Breakfast I stood up and told Loki I will go to the Beach next - He commented before leaving- i enjoy the Beach more at Night - But I am sure we will see each other soon , Darling

After enjoying the Beach - at Night I went to the Hotel Bar for Drinks .

A Random Drunk Man suddenly came closer -sat beside me

He tried to flirt with me - calls me Pretty Girl - offered me a drink .

I said No thank you - I feel very uncomfortable

He started to get touchy and tried to touch my thigh - shocked I screamed No I stood up and tried to leave but he went after me

All of a sudden Loki stands between Me and the Drunk Man saying with a threatening tone - She said NO - LEAVE

Loki took my Hand and went outside with me leaving the Creep behind .

He led me to the Beach - it's kinda Romantic I thought but suddenly Loki let go of my Hand

I looked up at his Handsome Face and thanked him - Hugging him

He touched me so tender and carefully

A short moment later I let go and looked at him again - kissing him softly

Tomorrow i want to go to Venice - Sightseeing - please join me , I said sweetly

How could I refuse this interesting offer ?,Loki said with a smile

[sillyguyy]

my humor is my friend showed me a pic of a cantaloupe n i died

[dadjokestop]

If you’re hungry for laughter, you’re in the right place! Food jokes are the perfect way to bring some flavor to your day, whether you’re a foodie or just love a good chuckle. These jokes are so fresh, they’ll leave you craving more. So, let’s dig into 20 food jokes that are sure to satisfy your appetite for humor! 1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 2. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange! 3. How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste! 4. Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well! 5. What’s a skeleton’s least favorite food? Spare ribs! 6. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up! 7. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese! 8. Why was the chef always calm? He had all the thyme in the world! 9. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 10. How do you make an artichoke? You strangle it! 11. Why did the grapefruit stop dating? It was tired of getting squeezed! 12. What’s the sweetest type of math? Pie! 13. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe! 14. What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me! 15. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It felt crumby! 16. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry! 17. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! 18. What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train! 19. How does a lemon ask for a divorce? It says, “I’m sorry, but I’m bitter.” 20. What do you call an angry pea? A grump-pea! There you have it—20 food jokes that are sure to add some spice to your day. Whether you’re sharing these with friends over dinner or just need a quick laugh during lunch, these jokes are the perfect side dish to any meal. So, go ahead and savor the humor—because a good joke is always in good taste!

[helennns]

Assignment 2: Semiotic Analysis of Four Ads

Skyy Infusions Cherry Vodka

The entire advertisement is focusing on the use of sexualization of women to sell alcohol. The color red is commonly sexualized, and it’s used a lot in the photo. The background of the photo is red, the cherry and some of the text on the bottle are red. Both of the women have glossy red lips, which have a common association with sexuality. The cherries in their lips are a pair that connect at the top of their stems, symbolizing some sort of a connection between the women. The advertisement uses ripe cherries. Fresh fruit is seen as natural, so this supports the tagline at the bottom. There is little direct association between the women and the product, as they aren’t actually interacting with it at all. They’re interacting with each other and with the cherries, but not the bottle itself, so their purpose in the ad besides being sexualized is unclear.

The main draw of the advertisement is the sexualization present, but it’s more than just the sexualization of women and alcohol. The women’s interactions with each other and the cherries creates an air of sexuality between the two. The sexualization of women who are attracted to other women (WLW) is extremely common, and largely perpetuated by heterosexual men. This is seen in heterosexual mens large consumption and obsession with lesbian porn. There’s a common theme of heterosexual, and sometimes WLW women getting drunk and kissing each other as a fun and entertaining act. This might happen at parties in front of people while men cheer them on. No matter the women’s intentions and hopes, this act is seen as performative sexuality for the entertainment of men. This advertisement associates their alcohol with a sexualized view of WLW, and the deeper cultural behaviors that come with it. Further, the women’s full faces are not visible. Only part of their side profiles are shown, and it does not include their eyes. Again, this portrays them as objects to be sexualized.

The photo is advertising cherry infused vodka, and placing two women with cherries, a fruit, in their mouths alongside the bottle. Women's bodies are often compared to fruit, their body shapes can be described as apple or pear shaped. Their breasts and other sexualized assets are described with fruits as different sizes or words for them (melons, cantaloupes), and breasts can be called cherries. The tagline in this advertisement is “Go natural”. Natural is used to refer to the natural cherry flavor in the vodka, but the ad and the product being advertised don’t fully reflect the tagline. The colors used in the advertisement are bright and saturated. The women both have heavy makeup on, and their bright red lips match the cherries, which look very artificial despite being the only actual natural part of the ad. Every part of this advertisement uses the sexualization of women, particularly WLW, to sell the product.

Dean's Finest Old Scotch Whisky

This whisky advertisement features a Scotsman recreating Marilyn Monroe’s iconic subway vent photo. The ad uses the perception that men in skirts are something seen as humorous, as well as the idea of a man in the position of a female sex symbol in order to market the product.

In Western culture, men wearing skirts is not typical, and is often seen as wrong, or humorous. Feminine men and men wearing feminine clothing are a relatively common punch line, and the jokes are rooted in misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. This ad is playing into this by putting a man in a kilt in the same position as Marilyn Monroe, a woman who was known as a sex symbol as well as a symbol of femininity. Despite being a Scottish company and bringing attention to the product's origin with the clothing, the brand is playing into the idea that a man wearing traditionally feminine clothes is something to use as a punch line.

Had the ad been the exact same, but with a woman instead of a man, it would not be seen as humorous, but likely more sexy. The iconic image the ad recreates is one that sexualizes her, but with a man in the exact same position as her, it’s intended and perceived in a humorous way, despite his position, outfit, and bare legs that would all be sexualized on a woman. So even though the advertisement has no women in it, it still holds the underlying message that the sexualization of women is normal and sexy, and the sexualization of men in the same way is funny and ridiculous.

Whiskey is typically seen as a rugged and manly drink. Many other whiskey ads feature traditionally masculine men to market their product, so why is this one different? The advertisement's tagline is “surprisingly mild”. So to market a whiskey that’s supposed to be milder than normal, the ad uses a man in a skirt in a feminine position to market it. This reinforces the idea of whiskey as a masculine drink, saying that this whiskey is milder and suited for a different type of man than others. But, despite the man being more feminine, he’s still a man, further solidifying the idea that whiskey is a man’s drink. This advertisement plays off gender stereotypes of both men and women in order to advertise its product.

Theo James for Hugo Boss Cologne

The broad aim of this advertisement is to sell cologne to men. It does this by intentionally playing into common stereotypes about men in order to appeal to those who aren’t secure in their masculinity, sex appeal, control, and success. The man in the advertisement, Theo James, is representative of all of those traits. His appearance perfectly fits the masculine ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ character commonly seen as desirable.

The advertisement clearly uses sexuality with the man and the woman, but it could be argued that sexual symbolism is used with the shape of the cologne bottle being slightly phallic. Especially in the context of an already sexual ad, it’s not absurd to suggest that the unconscious mind may see the cologne bottle as phallic. Insecure men may unconsciously see this as a way of fulfilling something they feel they lack. The cologne bottle is synonymous with their manhood, both physically and mentally.

The advertisement plays into the sublimation that might occur in men’s minds. A man can subconsciously channel his aggression and need for sexual dominance into his career, pursuing power in whatever socially acceptable way he can. The advertisement plays into this by showing a man who has achieved both forms of dominance, saying that the only way to fulfill their deep rooted desire for dominance and success is through the use of this cologne. The man represents what a man who uses this product could be. The advertisement associates the man's traits with the cologne they’re selling. It targets the insecurities of men, showing them everything they could be if they were to use this cologne.

Taylor Swift for Covergirl

The main drawing point of this advertisement is the face of the product, Taylor Swift. The advertisement was released in 2012, and she was already an easily recognizable celebrity. A close up of her face and numerous mentions of her name in the writing show that the advertisement is clearly using her face and her name in order to sell the makeup. Taylor Swift is used in order to target a specific type of consumer.

Makeup advertisements are already targeted towards women hoping to improve their appearances. Covergirl didn’t stray from this, promising consumers their “best look” with their eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara, telling the consumer that only these products can make them the most beautiful and able to look their best. Additionally, the use of Taylor Swift could target women’s subconscious desire to be seen as desirable. The ad associates their product with a woman who was known for her desirability that was proven by her relationships and songs about love. Her appearance in the ad also hints at this. She stares directly into the camera with an expression that is both seductive and daring. The advertisement silently causes consumers to feel that the only way to achieve Taylor’s level of beauty and desirability was to use their makeup.

This advertisement didn’t just stop with desirability as many makeup ads do, but instead took it a step further by drawing in women who crave exceptionality, whatever form it comes in. Taylor Swift was considered exceptional in a number of ways, be it talent, success, or looks. She stood out, and the advertisement told, and showed, consumers that they could too. The tagline, placed right below Taylor Swift’s face, states “don’t live in someone else's shadow!”. The double meaning of shadow (as either in terms of success or eyeshadow) associates their makeup with standing out, as well as sending a motivational message to their audience that they too can be exceptional with the use of their makeup. The idea of standing out is also apparent with Taylor Swift’s appearance and makeup in the ad. The colors of her clothes and makeup, as well as her jewelry, are bright and bold, and they’ve also changed her hair from its signature blonde to a darker brown that adds a boldness to the look. 

The main message being sent to women by this advertisement is that they are defined by their appearances, an idea that has long been relevant. The advertisement confirms their subconscious thoughts that success and exceptionality are defined by beauty. The ad encourages women to stand out like Taylor Swift does, but through their appearances, instead of talent or hard work. It targets the deep rooted insecurities and fantasies found in many women by offering them the chance to stand out, to be exceptional and desirable, and telling them this is only achievable through the purchase of their product.

[spaghetti-james]

Virtual Sketchbook #3

The painting "Watermelon Regatta," measuring 70 by 96 inches and created with oil paint, showcases a vibrant array of colors and shapes. Some colors that this painting portrays are bright red, blue, brownish green, and many other colors that appear to be more dim than the others. The shapes that this painting offers are mostly organic, like the shape of the boats. The artist, known as "The Master of the Fertility of the Egg," was active in northern Italy during the late 1600s to early 1700s, yet their true identity remains a mystery, adding an element of intrigue and speculation to their works. This particular painting captures a whimsical scene of a boat race where watermelons, cantaloupes, and even oversized shoes serve as boats, creating a playful and imaginative atmosphere.

In terms of composition, "Watermelon Regatta" is flawlessly balanced, which a symmetrical arrangement that emphasizes proportion and rhythm. The figures, whether human or animal, are relatively the same size, contributing to the harmonious flow of the painting. Each element, from the colorful clothing to the unique boat designs, adds to the overall rhythm and energy of the scene. The repetition of shapes, such as the watermelons used as boats, creates a sense of unity, while the diverse array of subjects and colors adds variety and visual interest.

The emotional impact of "Watermelon Regatta" is multifaceted. On one hand, it exudes a sense of playfulness and excitement, drawing viewers into the lively boat race depicted on the canvas. The unconventional use of fruits and vegetables as boats adds a humorous and whimsical touch, inviting viewers to immerse themselves in this imaginative world. Additionally, there's a subtle hint of nostalgia that the painting evokes, perhaps stemming from its historical context or the universal themes of joy and competition portrayed.

What makes "Watermelon Regatta" even more captivating is its recent restoration, which has brought the artwork back to its original vibrancy and charm. The mystery surrounding the artist's identity, coupled with the unique nature of the painting and its timeless appeal, contributes to its significance in art history. The visual experience is not only delightful but also a reflection of creativity, cultural celebration, and the timeless appeal of mysterious art.

The "Watermelon Regatta" painting, with its intricate details and depth, provides viewers with a glimpse into a world where imagination is limitless. It exceeds mere representation and becomes a storytelling medium, allowing viewers to engage on multiple levels, highlighting its lasting relevance as a medium for expression, reflection, and connection across generations.

Attached to this post I have added in 4 pictures. The first two are proof of me visiting the Ringling Museum, the second two (from left to right) are of the Watermelon Regatta, before and after its restoration.

[just-absolutely-super]

Mini crack

Patch: dad, why is Uncle Hub making so many horrible puns lately?

Lan: well here's the thing. The good news is that Tempo has a good sense of humor

Patch: oh, so she doesn't believe puns are the greatest form of comedy?

Lan: exactly! But the bad news is that your uncle can't accept that

Patch: oh no! So he's making all those terrible puns because of that?

Lan: unfortunately

Mega: Tempo, did you hear about that restaurant on the moon?

Tempo: Huh? Papa, people can't breathe on the moon, silly!

Mega: No, it's true! I heard the food was good, but there wasn't any atmosphere!

Tempo: ......

Mega: Drat! Okay, okay, how about this one. What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You're one in a melon!

Tempo: Papa...those are food. They can't talk!

Mega: *sigh* I know that sweetie, it's a joke

Tempo: Oh... Haha!

Mega: I know you're just faking for my sake, Tempo, you don't have to laugh...

Tempo: Sorry, Papa

Roll: Mega, I think you're trying too hard. She's still at the toddler stage. She'll probably appreciate your puns more when she gets older

Mega: But Remix always laughed at every joke I made. I need to make my baby girl laugh as hard too!

Roll: Maybe you should try making jokes that don't include impossible things like restaurants on the moon and talking fruit

Mega: Roll, if you can't appreciate a good fruit joke then you need to let this mango!

Roll: *rolls her eyes but tries to hide a smile*

Tempo: .....

Mega: Seriously? Nothing?

[captainmdhridoyhossain-blog]

[ad_1] A couple of months in the past, the C.E.O. of Poggio Labs, a San Francisco instrument corporate, sounded an alarm. “If you happen to’re a instantly man elderly 25 to 35,” he tweeted, ladies are judging you “in keeping with a suite of requirements created via an individual named tinx.” The arbiter’s complete title is Christina Najjar; as a teen-ager she followed the title Tinx, which is how her just about two million social-media fans know her. “They’re most commonly ladies,” she stated the opposite day. She wore a inexperienced sweatshirt, grey leggings, and cantaloupe-colored wrist weights. “They've disposable source of revenue and need to know the way to spend it. They need to have margaritas and get up at 6 A.M. and pass to a exercise. They don’t need to be dicked round via fuck boys.”A former freelance creator, Najjar, who's thirty-one, joined TikTok in 2020. “I used to be, like, I don’t give a shit anymore,” she stated. “I’m hungover and by myself. I’m going to make some TikToks, as a result of differently my simplest interplay might be with my Amazon gadgets.” She satirized alternative-milk adherents, “fundamental” New York millennials, and wealthy mothers, describing how they could acclimate to quite a lot of areas. (Brooklyn: “You’re going to wish one thing delicate, like a $15 million townhouse in Park Slope.” Higher East Aspect: “Get a bit of crusty white canine that’s no longer that lovable. Title it Tabitha.” Beverly Hills: “Oddly sufficient, a large number of other people in Beverly Hills have completely no style . . . a couple of lion statues out entrance by no means harm.”)“It’s part satire, part aspirational,” she stated, surroundings off on her day-to-day “rich-mom stroll” via Beverly Hills, the place she lives. “Everyone hates the wealthy mother, the archetypal anal lady who doesn’t devour carbs and has the five-thousand-dollar stroller, however they’ll additionally say, ‘Ooh, I'm going to the similar espresso store as her.’ It’s the closing crew of people who you'll be able to safely poke amusing at.”Najjar grew up in London, the daughter of an expat company legal professional, and attended Stanford and Parsons. “I used to take footage of my outfits and describe them in humorous techniques, get a hold of those rich-mom characters,” she stated. “It began in grad college, when all my pals had those cool, high-powered jobs and I used to be crying in a espresso store in Tribeca, seeking to write a paper.”Each and every Monday and Thursday, she invitations her Instagram fans to “Ask Me The rest,” addressing such subjects as how one can care for relationship burnout (“Take a ruin,” however “set a point in time”), which Nobu is the most efficient Nobu (“Malibu”), and what to do whilst you see your ex for the primary time after breaking apart (“Shove them right into a bush”). Najjar varieties every solution in a daring, sans-serif font and posts it on her Instagram account.“I took a couple of psych categories at Stanford, however not anything severe,” she stated. (She majored in English, which, she has stated, taught her “how one can bullshit.”) She added, “My entire ethos is, if in case you have a roomful of girls and any person has an issue, any person in that room has the solution. It’s about sharing data.” She went on, “If I will save a lady 3 weeks of feeling crummy a couple of fuck boy she’s relationship, or if I will give any person recommendation so that they don’t waste cash on a face product, that’s a win.”At a espresso store, Najjar ordered an iced Americano and ready to deal with the day’s A.M.A. “I’ll get upwards of 10000 questions inside twenty-four hours,” she stated. On her telephone display was once a grid of purple squares, virtual Publish-its: “Can I ask any person on a same-day date?” “Any recommendation for condo searching?” “Perfect hen hands in L.A.?” “I’m gonna solution that one,” she stated, tapping her display, “since the solution is Delilah”—a West Hollywood membership frequented via Drake—“clearly.

”“ ‘Who have been your celebrity early life/teenage crushes?’ Vin Diesel. I’m simply warming up with mild ones at this time,” she stated, working a Google Symbol seek for Diesel. “You’ve gotta upload a photograph,” she defined. Posted. Again to the questions: “How one can recover from activity rejection?” “How one can discover ways to love your self?”“Let me take into accounts this one,” she stated, biting her lip. “On occasion I dictate, since the font will get so small.” Seven mins later, she posted a paragraph about journaling, gratitude lists, and doing extra of what you like. “I all the time attempt to couple woo-woo with sensible.”A person approached. “Tinx? I met you on the Grove some time in the past, when I used to be with my female friend—neatly, ex-girlfriend.”“Oh, no, I’m sorry,” Najjar stated.“No worries.” He labored at a dentist’s place of job. “We maintain a large number of superstar clientele,” he stated. “I’d like to hook you up.”“You’re so candy,” Najjar stated.“I low-key need to get you within the place of job simply to make my ex jealous,” he stated. Najjar laughed uncomfortably. “I in fact need to get her jealous at this time.”The dental man scooted subsequent to her for a selfie and dropped a industry card. “Let’s see,” Tinx stated, resuming scrolling: “ ‘Ideas on texting the fellow and no longer responding to his reaction?’“We waste such a lot time on video games,” she stated. “You must simply assume, like, Why am I taking part in this sport? Extra incessantly than no longer, it’s ego.” ♦ [ad_2] #Tinxs #Box #Information #Wealthy #Mothers #Unhealthy #Boyfriends

[itschombee]

𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 𝒷𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝑜𝒻 ˚✧#𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓂𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈˚✧ 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒹𝓇𝑜𝓅𝓅𝑒𝒹! |𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵, 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂'𝓻𝓮 𝓱𝓸𝓽. |

[imapursoon]

(At Cantaloupe training school)

Cantaloupe leader: YOU NEED TO BE RIPER!

Cantaloupe recruit: I’m trying sir!

Cantaloupe leader: WELL TRY HARDER! WHAT ARE YOU? A CAN-TALOUPE, OR A CANT-ALOUPE?!

[catmint1]

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Charles M. Schulz

[squirrelplus]

Come on Melony, we can go to Mexico to get married today

No honey, I can’t elope