#cant remember if ive brought it up before here

[azrielsdove]

Ive really been loving all that you post. I've had this idea rattling in my head. It's a Azriel x best friend Reader. Where their friendship has mostly been platonic. Azriel and Elain were an item before she eventually left him for lucien, causing Azriel to spiral outta control. Azriels getting blackout drunk like every night, crying his eyes out saying how much he loved Elain, getting into fights hes just a mess and although readers there helping him shes fucking hurt that her friends suffering. I picture reader coming to help Azriel again one night dressed really nice and drop dead gorgeous, shes getting him into bed or whatever and hes just staring at her, like really looking at her. The bond snaps for him that instant and hes taking her in and asks her why are u wearing a gown? And she tells him she was on a date with Eris but ended it early to come help him. Breaks his fucking heart that shes dating someone (Especially Eris) but he then realizes shes always been there by his side. I imagine her not knowing about the bond or ignoring it cuz she just can't be Azriels 2nd choice ( but also cant hurt him) when shes been there the whole time and she feels she deserves someone who actually loves her not just cuz the mother said they should be together. Angst with maybe open ending? Or sad ending idk. Lol. Happy ending? I cant chooose. Lol.

Dearest Friend: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Alcohol, Brief Mentions of Violence

***

You sighed deeply, knowing it was going to be another long night with your dearest friend. You hated that Azriel was hurting, but you were growing tired of the constant drinking and fighting. You dragged the large male out of the alley you found him in, calling out to Rhys to send someone to check on whoever he had been pummeling to a pulp when you found him.

“M’fine,” Azriel grumbled, pushing himself off of you to stumble down the road.

“I know you are. I am just helping,” you explained, used to the difficult task of getting him home. You brought him to the townhouse, as he was in no state to fly the two of you up to the House if Wind. He got angry when he was here, remembering the early stages of his feelings for Elain.

“I want to go home,” he protested, stopping in the doorway. You grabbed his hands and pulled him gently inside, shutting the door behind him.

“We can go home tomorrow, Az. Tonight we are going to stay here, closer to the ground.” He mumbled under his breath something about hating you and this place, but you just rolled your eyes and continued pulling him up to the room he typically stayed in.

You felt an air of sadness wash over you, looking to see Azriel staring at a door near the end of the hall. You knew that was Elain’s old room, before she moved to the River House with Rhys and Feyre. You reached up and placed a hand on his face, prompting him to look at you. “She’s not here,” you soothed, heart breaking at the anguish in his eyes. He nodded, head leaning into the touch of your hand. “Come on.”

You brought him into his room, sliding off his dirty clothes. He didn’t fight you as you slid warm, clean sleepwear onto him, the anger exhausted for the night. You pulled the blankets over him and tucked him in, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “Get some sleep, Az.”

His hand on your arm stopped you, the pleading look in his eyes already telling you what he wanted. “Stay,” he whispered, pulling you down next to him. You took in a deep breath before sliding under the blankets with him, allowing him to hold you close. You had been sleeping like this a lot lately, your back pressed tight to his chest while he held you like you were his lifeline.

You wish he knew how true that was.

You had learned the shove the pull of the mating bond down long ago, realizing that Azriel would likely never feel it. The two of you had been friends for a few hundred years, and he had never made any inclination that he knew in all that time.

He pushed closer to you, burying his face in your hair. “Why wasn’t I enough for her?” Your heart broke just a little more, understanding the feeling all too well. You ran your fingers over his hands, shushing him.

“Enough of that, Az. She has a mate, that wasn’t a bond you could fight with. It has nothing to do with you.” You felt like you had said the same things over and over, constantly reassuring your friend that he did nothing wrong. Elain had tried to fight the bond with Lucien, making her own choice to go after Azriel. Unfortunately, the Mother creates bonds for a reason and even Azriel wasn’t enough to keep her from her mate.

Your countless failed relationships proved that as well.

“I wish she had been my mate,” he mumbled, sleep beginning to take over. You ignored the pain in your chest at his words, knowing he had no idea his mate was here in his arms. His mate he had no interest in.

“Go to sleep, Az.”

***

You smiled at the male across from you, raising your glass to your lips. With the now-accepted mating bond between Lucien and Elain, along with a growing alliance with the Autumn Court, Eris had taken to visiting Velaris often. You had arrived at the River House to ask about the male Azriel had attacked a few nights prior, not knowing he was there. You couldn’t deny the slight uptick of your heart whenever you saw him.

He had asked you to accompany him out to dinner that night, an invitation you gladly accepted. For the first time the attention of another male overrode the underlying pull of the mating bond. You had rushed off to get ready, forgetting the reason you even went over there.

Perhaps it was foolish, agreeing to a date with the Autumn Prince. You were tired of being alone, tired of waiting for the bond that will never snap for your mate. Eris was handsome, charming, and kept your attention full on him. You’d never met anyone quite like that.

“You look,” he spoke, surveying you over his whiskey glass, “divine.” You couldn’t hide the slight blush at his words, heat coursing through you. No other male had ever been able to affect you with such few words.

“I’m sure no different than the ladies you court in Autumn,” you responded, a teasing lilt to your voice. Eris chuckled, sipping his drink.

“Truth be told, I cant say i’ve ever had the interest in courting any of them.” You swore your heart stopped, mind going temporarily blank. “No one has ever caught my attention quite like you did.” He was looking at your curiously, as if trying to find some invisible string that tied you to him.

“I could say the same about you,” you got out, taking a mildly too large drink. Eris smiled back,

opening his mouth to say more when Cassian burst into the restaurant. He caught sight of you immediately, striding over to the table.

“He’s bad. He won’t accept any of us, he’s requesting you.” He looked apologetic, awkwardly glancing between you and Eris. You sighed, unable to hide the slow anger rising in you.

“Fine. Where is he?” You asked, standing from the table. You looked over to Eris, halfway ready to tell Azriel to screw himself so you could stay here. “Im so sorry. Our friend is…not well,” you explained, knowing he already knew the situation.

“Of course,” he said, waving you to go. “I just expect you to take me on an extravagant make-up date when he’s better.” The wink he gave you had color racing up your neck, a small smile on your lips.

***

Cass brought you to the townhouse, a sure sign that Azriel was wasted again. “I didn’t want to interrupt your date,” he began, “but he’s losing it in there. Crying and screaming about Elain, destroying everything he can get his hands on. Rhys can’t even get into his mind to calm him down.” You knew how dire this situation must be if Rhys was willing to infiltrate his friends mind without consent. You prepared yourself as the door opened, peering in to the damage he had caused.

It was bad. Very, very bad.

“Az?” You called out, stepping into the ruined home. “Are you in here?” You heard a low sob from the living room, turning to Cassian behind you. “You should stay out here, for now. I’ll yell if I need you.” He agreed, willing to do anything you thought may help his brother.

You made your way into the living room, finishing Azriel tucked into the farthest corner. His shadows were going wild, racing around the room in a chaotic show. You carefully walked over to him, being sure to not trip on any of the debris. You knelt down in front of him, running your hands up and down his arms.

“Hey, Az. I’m here now. What do you need?” Your words were quiet, soothing. He slowly lifted his head off his knees, eyes bloodshot. You clicked your tongue at the deep circles under them, the sunken skin of his cheeks. He was destroying himself.

“Let me help you up to bed, okay? I’ll bring you water, do you want me to send Cassian to pick up some food?” He shook his head as you pulled him up, looking almost small. You gently lead him upstairs, an area he had thankfully stayed out of during his rampage. You once again changed his clothes and tucked him into bed, heading downstairs to get him a glass of water.

You opened the front door to see Cassian sitting on the steps, waiting for you. “He’s in bed,” you said as he stood, “you are good to go. I’ll stay with him.” Cassian nodded, shifting on his feet.

“I’m sorry again. We may have had disagreements in the past, but Eris is proving to be a decent guy. I think he’d be good for you.” Your heart fluttered at his words, that small smile coming back onto your face.

“Yes, well, I suppose we will see.” He bid you goodnight and you closed the door, locking it behind you. You retrieved the glass for Az, bringing it up to him.

“Drink,” you commanded, pushing the water in his hands. He did so greedily, needing the cool liquid after his actions that night. You took the empty

glass from him, setting it on the nightstand. “Anything else?” You asked, voice missing the normal warmth it had when he was in this state.

Azriel looked at you closely, eyes slowly taking in your appearance. “You look…nice.” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest.

“Yes, thanks for noticing. Are you good?” You were growing impatient.

“Why are you wearing that?” His question held a small tone of accusation, clearly unhappy that you were out while he was struggling.

“Honestly Azriel, do you take me as your mother? I was on a date, a very lovely night until you had to ruin it.” You couldn’t help the anger pushing out of you, years of being there for him piling up inside you.

“A date? With who?” He sneered, focused on the elegant but tight dress you had on.

“If you must know, I was with Eris. Now, do you need anything else?” You stared him down, focusing every emotion into that gaze. He began to shake his head, body suddenly stilling.

“Azriel?” Your anger began to be replaced by concern, the unblinking look on his face scaring you.

“You’re my mate.”

Oh. That. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of you at the injustice of it all. Centuries you longed after him, dreaming of this very moment. The very night your heart begins to long for another, the bond snaps.

Snaps while he’s drunk due to thoughts of another lover.

He states you down, unsure as to your laughter. “Azriel,” you sighed, “I know. I’ve known.”

He stood off the bed, the sudden realization sobering him. “This is great! You are my mate! This whole time, you’ve been right in front of me.” He raised a hand to your face, brushing your hair back lovingly. “My dearest friend, my mate.”

It was too much. You pushed back from him, shaking your head. “No, Azriel.”

“No?”

“I won’t be your second choice. Not when I have finally found someone I could be happy with, without the thought of you ruining it.” Your eyes filled with tears when you looked up at him. “You don’t want me, Az. You want her. You said it yourself, you wished she was your mate.”

His eyebrows furrowed, shadows becoming agitated again. “No that’s not what I meant, I-“

You cut him off. “Stop, Azriel. In the hundreds of years we’ve been friends, you’ve never once treated me as more than. You don’t want me, not like that. You never have.” Your heart squeezed tight at the devestaed look on his face.

“You can’t reject me,” he said, voice quiet.

You ran your hands over your face, a frustrated groan falling from you. “I’m not. I just don’t think this is truly what you want.” You looked up at him, standing tall. “I need you to want me for me, not because the bond has told you to.”

His shadows were swirling around, staying far away from you. The anger and hurt in his face broke you, but you stood strong. You would not be with a male you loved so deeply if he could not love you the same.

“Goodnight, Az,” you said, leaving his room and the destroyed townhouse before you broke any further.

***

I hope you like this!! I left the ending open, I feel like I always do HEAs so I wanted to try not not resolve the issue yet 🫣. Let me know what you think and thank you so much for liking my writing enough to request something ❤️

[tiddygame]

i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Mine? (Part 8)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Summary: Oops. She is happy. But is she supposed to be calm when she knows she's gonna get yelled at?

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Word Count: 1333

A/n: okay so ive got the next parts already plotted out, and i will let yall know. theres one more part after this and then an epilogue 🥹

i cant believe this is coming to an end omg stawp 😭

anyways, enjoy!🥹

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Y/n was not dumb enough to think that after asking Grayson to stay, all her problems and worries would leave. Of course not. But she hadn’t even expected it to become so bad.

Every other day, she would just be smiling while watching the love of her life play with their daughter, and then the next moment, she’d be sitting wondering if he was here willingly. Every few days, she'd wonder if he even wanted to stay.

Wondered if he was only here because he wanted to prove to himself that he was a better father than Sheffield grayson.

Did he not mind waking up in the middle of the night sometimes to hold Adelaide when she cried? Did he like living in the same house as Y/n, someone who had tried to take away a part of him?

It was not easy these past two months. But Y/n knew that it was probably just her being insecure, maybe it was her scepticism. Maybe it was the grudge her family still held against him.

Since they found out that Y/n had let Grayson stay with her and Adelaide, they had been quite vocal about their disapproval of her decisions. It frustrated Y/n to no end, but she could also see how it looked from their perspective and knew they just wanted to keep her and their granddaughter safe.

Atleast Y/n was glad her brother didn’t know.

Since she had been born, her older brother, Liam had been a little too protective of her. Every time they played as children, he’d be extra careful so as not to hurt her. Every time they went to the playground or someone would try to approach Y/n to be her friend at school, Liam would scare them away, his gaze hard as he’d then drag his baby sister to play with her.

Y/n had never really understood why he did that. Being a little girl then, she had felt hurt but she also couldn’t stay mad at him at all.

After a particularly bad day, five year old Y/n had exploded and complained to their dad about it. After that Liam had cut her some slack, but still he never let anyone bully her. She could still remember the one time he had punched a boy because he’d pushed Y/n over and she had scraped her knee. She had cried and hugged Liam then, and he’d offered to take her to the ice cream shop if she stopped sobbing.

She loved the idiot of course, but she had to admit, he was protective to a fault.

He was currently on a business trip to New York and had been for over two months now. Apparently the business over there needed his attention. Her parents told her they weren’t sure when he would return, so she had begged them not to tell him about Grayson.

She was scared that once he found out, he would fly over just to break his jaw. Or nose. Or both, she didn’t know.

The happy squeal of her daughter drew Y/n from her thoughts finally, and she turned to look at what she was doing.

It once again brought a smile to her face.

Grayson was sprawled on the couch, in simple grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and was blowing raspberries on Adelaide’s stomach. He was smiling wide, his eyes twinkling in a way Y/n had rarely ever seen before.

Before he found out about Adelaide, anyways.

Y/n set aside her phone, telling herself that she could tell her brother later. It was feeding time. She walked over to the couch, holding her hands out to Grayson.

Gryason’s brows furrowed and he squished Adelaide to his chest.

"Mine." 

Y/n blinked. He hadn’t ever been as childish as he was the past week. On one hand, she was surprised, but she was also happy about it. She loved this side of him, a side even he probably never knew existed.

"I know that, mister five years old, but it's feeding time."

He almost pouted, but handed a giggling Adelaide over. "I want her back when you’re done."

Y/n shook her head, hiding her smile.

The past two months, even with her bad days, had been unexpectedly pleasant. She and Grayson had had long talks about how to proceed. He had apologised profusely for calling what they did that night a mistake. According to him, he regretted saying that but had been too arrogant to apologise and thought that things would just go back to normal.

The prick.

Still, Y/n found it hard to be mad at him, because at one point, even she had thought that night was a mistake.

But now that the two had forgiven each other, life was fun. They went back to being friends, their time together feeling just like a year and a half ago, when everything had been normal between them.

Just as Y/n went to settle down on the other couch and Grayson got up to give her some privacy- he still refused to be in the same room as her when she was feeding Adelaide- the bell rang.

Instantly, Y/n shot up, and Grayson glanced at her, brows tugged together. Y/n herself did not understand her own reaction, but she knew not to dismiss the heavy feeling that was beginning to take root in her chest.

Grayson inclined his head, a question in his eyes, then turned towards the door. Y/n shook her head, then handed Adelaide back to him and rushed to open the door instead.

She did not have a good feeling about this. The feeling almost resembled the anxiety she felt when Grayson had first come to visit. It was almost like she knew who was on the other side, and she knew no one was going to like it one bit.

And sure enough, when she rolled onto her tiptoes to peer out of the peephole, her blood chilled.

Liam.

She turned to Grayson, frantically moving her hands around, trying to tell him to hide even if it wouldn’t really help, knowing it made no sense to him whatsoever. It wouldn’t have made sense to herself either if she did not know the context.

Before she could say anything, the bell rang again, and Y/n smacked her head, then opened the door.

Liam grinned at her, his dark hair tousled as if he had been running his hands through it. He honestly looked ready to fall asleep.

Despite the panic clawing at her insides as she tried not to think too much about his reaction when he found out about Grayson, she smiled back.

It had been a long while since she saw her brother.

She stepped forward, letting him wrap her in a tight embrace. It instantly relaxed her, and she let herself enjoy this moment, knowing all hell would break loose the moment Grayson came into his sight.

"Li. Missed you."

He chuckled. "Missed you too, munchkin." he pulled back, placing a tender kiss on her forehead. "Where’s my little niece?"

"Inside." Y/n bit her lip, contemplating. "How come you’re here? I thought you were in New York?"

He nodded, patting her head before manoeuvring around her to walk inside, dragging his bag behind him. "I was going back home, then thought, why not drop by? It’s been a long while anyway, and-"

He stopped speaking, and Y/n watched with growing fear as his shoulders tensed.

Y/n hurried in behind him, clicking the door shut as she took in the scene.

Grayson stared at Liam like a deer caught in headlights, giving no reaction even as Adelaide grabbed fistfulls of his hair and tugged.

Liam made no move when he spoke next, his voice low. "What the fuck is that bastard doing here?"

Well, this was going to be fun.

Sarcastic. That is sarcastic.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Mine taglist: @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @blocked-zombieartist @lillycore @lanterns-and-daydreams @bubybubsters

@berryzxx @riddlesb1tch @thena101 @imaseabear

The Inheritance Games Taglist: @dahliawarner @thena101 @yucanbmylxdy @sheisntyou @kitkatlover015

[cactuslester]

okay!!! oakland show post!

i had so so much funnnn it was the best night ever!!! i went alone and was pretty nervous because even though ive been to shows and concerts alone before, i'd never been to something that had so much "waiting time" like between the m&g and preshow & show, but truly everyone was so so friendly, and it was so easy to meet people and make friends in line, so if anyone is still wondering if they should get a ticket and are worried about going alone, DO IT. it's so worth it, and phannies are lovely <3

so the m&g! this is my first time meeting both of them so i was so nervous and so excited. the line moved faster than i was prepared for it to (sarah was at the front of the line making sure everyone had their cameras ready and knew what they wanted to get signed. i'm so face blind i kept thinking about how familiar she looked but didn't realize that was sarah until it was almost my turn lmaooo), but the actual interaction didn't feel rushed. i gave them the letters i had written for them. i had tried to get metallic green envelopes but couldn't find any, and i told them that, and dan immediately knew what i was talking about and pointed knowingly at phil lmao <3

i brought tabinof and a mini lesbian flag which was between the pages in case they'd have time to sign both and they did! while they were signing i asked my questions. i asked phil for book recs and he said project hail mary, which i think he's mentioned in a preshow before. he said it's space/sci fi and he really liked it. i asked dan his thoughts on this f1 season, and he said "i think it's been quite a good season! it started off and it was like 'max is gonna win everything' and then it was like 'no he's not 🤪'"

and then dan took our selfies, and i'm rly happy with how they turned out 🥺 so here's them being cute sans me lol

they are indeed really good at making you feel comfortable and just generally being very nice and chill. they sounded more british than i was expecting? which is crazy given i allegedly know exactly what they sound like having watched their videos for 12 years, but still, hearing it up close was still kinda crazy. they are indeed very spindly, im glad i wore platforms so i was at least a little bit taller than i usually am

i Did forget to ask phil my follow up question which was if he would ever do a book recs video/livestream, and i also forgot to tell them that the sappy shit and also some recs for boston food is in the letters, but w/e they'll read those sooner or later, and at least i rmred the most important things. oh also phil's blue eyed stare really is So intense, i can definitely see how his aura can be intimidating (but he rly was so sweet <3). dan is so teddy bear vibes though, not intimidating at all <3

i was towards the end of the m&g line, so after my m&g ended, preshow started ~45 minutes later. the energy at this preshow felt rly married and silly, it was so fun. they definitely have someone prune the phlit questions (but im not sure if whoever does it just grabs them randomly or if they actually read and pick which ones dnp read), since not all of my questions were answered. but i cant complain bc they answered two of mine, which i'll post the videos for tn. but i asked if they're digital hoarders, and they said no (liars), and then dan talked about how phil's desktop is disorganized. and i also asked about their fave recent horror movie, and they both said the substance, which i've been wanting to watch!

and oh my god the show itself was CRAZY. like even though i've been looking at spoilers this entire time, i still wasn't fully prepared (maybe i'll put my more spoilery thoughts in a reblog later). they were so energetic, and their stage presence is magnetic. i think it was a good night for them, as far as i remember, no lines were obviously Forgotten, and any tripping over lines was minor. the show had silly parts, it had serious parts, it was just so Them. you really can feel how comfortable and happy they feel in this new era and, like they talked about in the phukbang, that they feel that their audience is truly Theirs now. the show was so good i Did log onto ticketmaster and google flights to san diego after work today but due to flight prices and work, i fear it's not happening, but god i do want to see it again immediately 😔

finally, thank you to all the wonderful phannies i met!!! i had such a lovely time chatting w/carolina, esmeralda, orion, and winter, who aren't on tumblr 😔 and of course with molly @finalfeudfiend!!! we were seat neighbors, partners in phannie crimes for the night, and also they took my m&g video (mwah mwah tysmmmm molly <333). it was really so great to meet everyone, and all my worries about going alone were totally unfounded <3

here are the bracelets and photocards i got! the far left bracelet is from the vip merch bag, and the rest are from phannies, they say super amazing project, sister daniel, and father philip. i am sooo happy with my photocard pulls. the top row were from the pack that came w/vip merch, and the bottom row i got separately. impossible to pick faves really, but some of mine are of course uni hoodies, holographic hearts tongue out phil, phil looking so polite, and smiley peace sign dannie <333

and that's that! much love to dnp and phannies for making it such a wonderful night. having watched their videos for so long, it was so special to get to see and meet them, i had the best time ever <333

[dazai-fan-page]

i remember when i was 12 or so, I went for a walk by my house and ended up talking to these two artists, while we were talking one of them was drawing this flag on the ground and then they wrote free palestine under it. i asked what that was, where that was, why they werent free already and they answered all my questions. then after we finished talking i left and i forgot about that conversation for a few years.

ive been remembering it a lot lately bc i was able to just walj home and forget, a shit load kids my age over there dont have a home to go back to and they sure as hell cant forget as easily as i did.

my point here is that this is far from new and this isnt the first its being brought up, we just forgot or ignored it before. a man set himself on fire to get our attention and people are still looking away. you dont have to see the bodies, just at least reblog the donation links and information screenshots.

now look its dazai isnt he great

[i-yap]

Thinking about the wedding ask you answered before but what if Grayson proposed to his s/o and his s/o already bought a ring to propose to him as well? Like that would be so cute 😭💕

Hey sorry I'm a little late, in responding, I usually have a couple meetings on Thursday and after human interaction I'm too dead to do anything.

omg your request is so monica and chandler idk why..like that scene she proposes and..yea . Thats a really cute idea.

Dick grayson x reader

Some may consider being friends with your boyfriends ex weird, but barbara and kori were still a part of his teams and they knew what grayson had with you was something special and different. And so you became sort of friends..at least this way you got gossip on grayson. But it was also the reason why you were here, In a jewellery store. looking through wedding bands.

"And then he kept crying "take me to y/n" " laughed kori telling the story of Dick on anesthesia. You laughed back in return"What can I say, the man's a simp". "Yea never really saw him like that you know" replies Kori.

"Like what?" . "Loving someone so much, he was sweet with me, but he never really made effort. I guess I always knew it was a temporary thing. I couldn't even bring up commitment with him, I don't think I even heard him say the word "wedding" the whole time we were together."

"He is a litttle hesitant towards commitment I suppose, its his childhood- all that repressed trauma" you say , trying to cheer her up a little. "But with you it seems like he might even ask you to marry him- though the idea of him asking anyone to marry him sounds crazy"

"Why is that?" you ask

"Dont take me wrong, he loves you but I just cant see him getting down on one knee and -well popping the question"

And so here you are now. Staring at the perfect wedding band set . Was this a little unconventional ..yes. Did you care? Hell no. You knew Dick wanted forever with you. You guys had talked about kids, grandkids, what flowers you want in your wedding. He just wasn't popping the question and if he wasn't going to do it, you would. You understand he has his issues, but he is committed to you, he loves you and you can help him out with this little something.

After that talk with kori you had been monitoring Dick , He did talk a lot about marrying you but never really brought up the actual question. And you didn't want to wait longer. This was the man you wanted to spend forever with..its decided.

So you and dick plan out a perfect date. He was more than excited to make sure everything was perfect- saying he was just excited because you guys haven't had a proper date in while(which is a lie , dick takes you out every week for a fancy date )

But it turns out perfect. By the private beach, a pretty blanket with champagne and food. the sun setting slowly and a chill spring air which makes you sit just a little closer. You take out the ring just as the sun starts setting. Dick looks over perplexed. He looks at the ring, then at you smiling and then ring again. "Dick grayson, I love you. I never thought I'd meet a man like you, I didn't even know they existed. And they don't , you're special to me. You are kind and smart and really hot. There is no one else for me , its just you. Marry me?"

Dick gives the biggest smile, pulls you up onto the sand and get down on his knees before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. "y/n, I guess you beat me to it huh? Ive been carrying this ring for 3 months now waiting for the perfect moment. But every moment with you is perfect, you are perfect for me and you make me want to be the perfect man for you. Ive known that since the first date , I know that right now and I will remember it forever. Will you marry me y/n l/n?"

"First you answer my question" you hiccup, tears welling up in your eyes.

"haha, yes yes I will marry you y/n grayson"

"is this a bad time to mention I don't like your surname"

"We can change it, keep it something you like, like cupcakes..y/n cupcakes" he says tears in his own eyes.

you giggle as you pull him up, sliding the rings onto each others hand and kissing as the sun falls below the ocean's horizon.

[meowz3rzparty]

An updated Wip for the doctor masacrik fanfic ‼️

*You don’t know what happened, you couldn’t remember who you were, where you were, hell you couldn’t even remember your past. You woke up in a hospital, inside a patient room.you were in a hospital gown,nothing else. You were confused and scared. You had no clue what was happening of course you’d be frightened.*

*your whole body hurt as you sat up slowly. You looked down at your legs to see stitches going up your right leg, the area around the stitches being bruised and slightly red. It was so confusing and panic inducing. Eyes wide and aware as you looked around when you felt something on your head. You couldn’t see what it was though, but luckily there was a mirror in sight and you could slightly see into it. Seeing the cat looking ears sown onto the base of your head, also noticing a cat like tail sown onto your lower back.*

*But like I said, you couldn’t remember anything and had no clue if those had always been there on not. The only clue you would’ve had is how the stitches look. However you didn’t know what healed stitches look like, and even if you did I doubt you’d remember.*

“What the fuck..? W-why can’t I remember anything…?” *You stammered out quietly. You were trying to calm down by taking deep breathes except the stress of not being able to remember anything was making you anxious and scared. As you breathed heavily your eyes paced around the room and noted an iv tube inserted into your forearm. As you took notice of it you decided it would be a good idea to try and get it out and go ask someone for help. Your hand reached for the iv tube that was probably being used to give your body medicine, you grabbed it a gently started to mess with it trying to get it out*

“Ah your awake. Stop playing with your iv though..” *you hear a stern voice say suddenly,flinching slightly at the unexpected voice. Eyes darted to look over at the door frame of the room to see a tall figure, you couldnt quite make out who it was because it was quite dark. The ‘figure’ stepped into the room. A tall doctor, with strawberry pink hair that was short and slicked back, teal eyes glaring over at you. His style of clothes was… questionable. A mint teal button up top with a white hospital coat over it with his name tag on, “Doctor Masacrik”. Ah so that’s his name. His shorts were a maroon colour as he had heart covered stocking under them… interesting fashion choice.*

“W-what am I doing here..?! Why cant I remember anything-? Who even are you..!?” *you faltered out as your eyes were glued on this mystery doctor. Doctor masacrik looked down at you in amusement and mockery as you spoke frantically.. *

“Calm down.. Im Doctor masacrik, and your my new experiment, don’t worry though, I won’t hurt you.. yet” *he remarked as he started walking closer to you, you were confused but there was a feeling of comfort you got from him, it felt oddly comforting but stern, like he wouldn’t be afraid to get rid of you if you made the slightest mistake.* “oh, and don’t try and take these off” *he mentioned the ears* “their sown on, they won’t come off no matter how hard you pull or tug..” *his words were menacing.. making you want to cower up..*

“Your name is (users name)..” *he said as he leaned forward and grabbed your chin with his hand, lifting your head up to eye level..* “such a pretty pet.. I’m surprised you survived, you lost quite a lot of blood during surgery..” You looked up at him, confused but you felt a bit more safer now.. for some reason he brought a sense of peacefulnesses to you.*

“(Users Name)..? That’s my name-?” You asked quietly as his hand was on your chin still, his eyes examining you.*

“Yup, that’s your name~ now.. stand up I need to check if your legs still work..” *he said that as if he had done something to your legs, before her took a few steps back from you. It felt confusing but you had no one else at this point so you just listened to him, slowly crawling out of the hospital bed and stood up. You noticed your legs felt numb and were slightly hurting. He crouched down slightly so he could look at your legs closer up. He had made the muscle in your legs weaker so you couldn’t escape from him..*

“Good good, doesn’t look like I made them to weak.. we wouldn’t want you to be completely useless now would we (users name)…~? Does it feel weird or does it hurt…?” *he questioned mockingly as his hands moved up your legs.

“I-i feel weak.. but it doesn’t hurt..” *you trembled out softly as your eyes looked down at him.* “ that’s good.” *he said as he stood up and looked at you before his slender cold hand petted the ears on your head.. you couldn’t really feel it because it wasn’t an original part of your body but I felt comforting to an extent.* “sit back down, I’ll be back in bit..” *he said, his voice suddenly turning more stern and demanding

[fvedyetor]

dressing sigma up in old blorbos' fits

info + notes abt blorbos bc i dont think everyone will know everybody here

kazuichi soda - super danganronpa 2 (left)

- super high school level mechanic my beloved !! kazuichi is so cool and so loser pathetic

- the fandom i was in before bsd

- i think sigma and kazuichi should hold hands

squid girl - squid girl (middle)

- girl who is a squid. comes from ocean and works at a beach restaurant

- i dont remember much from this show, i watched it when i was like 6 or 8 idk i cant remember. i was never in a fandom for it, if it exists.

- i was squid girl for halloween once, so thats why i chose her for this (i also was kazuichi for halloween once)

- also sigma in skirt 👍

remus - sanders sides (right)

- remus is the embodiment of intrusive thoughts. hes gross.

- the fandom that brought me to tumblr woohoo

- remus is much more kolya coded, so i was giggling drawing sigma in this outfit hehe

- ive also dressed up as remus before. but not for halloween.

[smolweeblets]

Taters

Karlach x Reader/Tav

A/n: I live temporarily. Back with another fandom. Small ramble note at the bottom.

Winter was just around the corner, causing the night air to chill as of late. You used to hate the cold, it reminded you of… less fortunate times. However, these days you've found yourself slowly being able to see the beauty of it, reason being your beautiful girlfriend, who’s kept you perfectly warm every night, safe and protected against any unsavory memories.

The amazing tiefling who's stolen your heart has kept you company for countless evenings, with each one feeling as special as the last. But this time you find yoursef pondering, a memory—or rather a word—that you couldnt quite shake off.

Taters.

It was just such a bittersweet moment for you both. You thought her family using words just for them was such a cute thing to do, it seemed to make Karlach so happy. It kicked some gears in your brain into motion, so much so that you happened to mindlessly utter it out.

“Pardon, love?” Karlach craned her head to look at you atop her chest.

“Oh– nothing, was just lost in thought–”

“Ah, well taters, either way” She grinned from below you.

Your heart melts a little inside of you. How was anyone allowed to be this cute? Yhe universe is unbelievable.

“Yeah… listen Karlach, ive been thinking about something” You trail off slightly, not quite sure on what you actually want to say.

Karlach tilts her head slightly to the side. A worried frown painting her features. “Something wrong?”

“No, I just… happened to think about your family… The language you had together, you said you were the last remaining speaker. I want to change that.” You held her hand as you talked, both for her reassurance and yours. You mindlessly toyed with it as you spoke.

Karlachs eyes widened.

“You want to kill me!?” She gasped incredulously. “I knew it was only a matter of time… I wouldnt mind if it was you though, make it quick” She stuck her bottom lip out and wiped a fake tear from her eye, while the other hand held yours to her chest.

You snatched your hand from where she held it and lightly bopped her on the forehead, looking only mildly amused.

“As if.” You scoffed lightheartedly.

Karlach grinned. “Of course, so what about my parents?” There was a faraway look in her eyes. Shes told you that she loves talking about her parents, but being a little sentimental about it was unavoidable.

“The uh… the language you had together, what other words did you guys have?”

“You want to know about the gibberish we spoke?” Karlach smiled, unsure.

“Yeah, it was a big part of your childhood, I want to make more good memories with those words… maybe with a family of our own.” You sunk your face into the firm muscle of her shoulder, partly because it was comfy, but partly to avoid looking at her, in case she didnt agree.

“I cant believe you just brought up the idea of a family before I could. How dare you.” The pitch of her voice raised towards the end. She narrowed her eyes at you.

“Oops” You giggle, face still smooshed against her skin.

“Hmph.” She scoffed. “Give me a moment to remember, im sure I can dig up some of them.” Karlach gazed at the ceiling, mind drifting back to her childhood.

“Lets see… chess… chess meant a kiss… Yeah, I think I remember being grossed out because I saw my parents giving each other ‘chesses’.” Karlach chuckles softly at the memory.

“Chesses? Thats… oddly fitting for a kiss.” You smiled. “What else?”

“Sheesh just give me a moment” Karlach pouts. “Cant let a woman think for shit in here” She huffs.

“So dramatic. Just take your time.” You rolled your eyes.

Karlach scoffs, but otherwise stays silent for a moment, collecting little anecdotes from her childhood.

“Hmm… Blankets were called ‘warmers’ I think”

“Simple and straightforward, I like it.” You grin

“Right?” Karlach laughs, a beautiful sound. You cant help but snuggle up impossibly closer into her. And she holds you just a little bit tighter.

“Then…” Karlach trails off slowly, hand unconsciously starting to pet your head. “Hm. Sorry soldier, cant remember any more right now.” Karlach sheepishly smiled.

“Thats okay, we can try again tomorrow. I think let's just sleep, i'm tuckered out”

“Sounds great.” She presses a kiss to your forehead.

~~~~~

The conversation is mostly forgotten by her, whose been busy with choosing only the best produce for you both at the market. She left before you woke up, hoping to surprise you, but it seems she got too caught up with haggling with the shop ladies, so that plan was out the window.

As soon as she enters your shared cabin, youre immediately clung onto her.

“Chess.” You peel yourself away from the hug momentarily to face her with a kissy face at her while pointing at your face.

Her brows furrows before they relax and melt into an expression of surprise and awe. She leans down to give you a small peck then envelops you in a large bear hug.

“Gods, have no clue how happy that made me” She grins widely.

“Yeah? Prepare to be happy a lot more then.” You preen at the feeling of being able to make her feel like this.

“Thats going to be difficult considering im already always happy when im with you.” Karlach looks at you adoringly. To an almost painful degree.

The emotions rushing into you felt a little overbearing. Your eyes narrow and your muscles stiffen. “Im getting cuteness aggression.”

“Im honored.” She smirks.

“Stop or else I will actually fall to the floor.”

“I cant, youre too amazing. But don't worry if you fall, ill make sure to nurse you better myself.” Her voice was teasing, but held affection all the same.

“Just stop talking to me.” You bat at her shoulder stiffly as your face sits in a lighthearted scowl.

“Alright, ill lay off from the sweet talk for a little bit. Just for now.” She relents.

“Somehow that makes it even worse. Im going to feed the pets. Bye.” You move robotically, movements restrained from the rush of the pure emotions.

Karlach chuckles to herself, used to your mannerisms. Youll be back, and in the meanwhile, she supposes she’ll be cooking breakfast for the both of you.

“Alright love, taters!” She waves. She takes the produce from the bags and prepares them to be cooked.

Not long after, she hears a loud crash swiftly followed by your voice.

“Im fine!” You hurriedly shout. God forbid she saw the mess you made from recoiling when she called you.

Karlach shakes her head as she continues washing the vegetables. You were one hell of a person, and she couldnt see herself with anyone else.

A/n#2: AGHHH I FINISHED ITTT. Listen I had an idea but I dont know how to actually write it. I guess its still cute but it has strayed from what i have envisioned. Started with the original prompt then turned into a sort of domestic bliss/banter thing? I dont know. Anyway, this became a shameless self insert but its okay because its my fic. also dont ask about the made up words im uncreative.

Sorry for the ADHD rant this is how I am when im supposed to be sleeping, till next time guys <33

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 33

welcome to the thirty-third fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Rose-Colored Boy by melancholymango

“I missed you, you know.”

“Yeah?” Lance sighed, warm and giddy, clearly not absorbing how serious the words truly were. Keith nodded his head for a few seconds, not trusting himself to speak around the size of his emotions. He was suddenly brought back to the years alone on the whale, when all he’d had to keep him going was memories of his friends, of Lance.

“Yeah.” Keith said, more certainty in his voice now. He reached down, hesitantly threading his fingers through Lance’s and giving his hand a squeeze. Lance tensed next to him. “I still do.”

“I mean, I’m right here.”

“Are you? You still seem pretty far away.”

again i know im not really big on those fics that make the team out to be deliberately cruel, but sometimes its cathartic tbh. sometimes you remember canon and ur just like yeah what if he got angry. what if someone got angry for him. what then. and mango gives us that

2. Swamp of Sorrows by SwissArmyKnife

Pike gets exposed to acidic ooze, which leads Block (& Keith) to make a few discoveries about their party’s rogue.

“We can't leave them like this,” Meklavar said of Valayun and Pike, who’d been laid beside the fire. "Look at how bad those welts are." She came up with a bottle of oil and a cake of soap. "I can smell water nearby. We can get them washed and roll them in a blanket to sleep off the spore. What do you think?"

"I think it's our only choice," Takashi said.

monsters and mana fic!!!!! everybody say YES to righteous anger on pike’s behalf. and also say yes to pike bc i love him. this fic is interesting bc its a little tense and awkward bc this ragtag team of misfits doesnt quite trust each other yet but they also cant quite stop themselves from caring about each other. so even though they dont all agree on eveyrthing and dont agree about all, they do agree that pike needs more care than he got. also unrelated but the fact that shiro’s m&m name is fucking takashi kills me every time like man just wants to be himself 💀

3. Beneath the Champagne Sea by SwissArmyKnife

The paladins make a diplomatic visit to a planet with sexual dimorphism roughly opposite that of Earth. Women are larger and more powerful, while men are leaner and smaller. Cue their horror at gaunt, sickly Pidge and mild disgust with the ’womanly’ Shiro. Lance hits the sweet spot. He's got the build and features to draw the eyes and the charm to keep them. Their hosts are quite taken with him, in particular the daughter of the queen, whose forwardness is a comic reversal of Lance’s usual dynamic with women. Lance likes the attention and finds her intriguing, but eventually things take a discomforting turn.

Lance tried to step around her, wanting to walk away from a conversation that seemed less and less likely to end well, but Leh’n seized his wrist before he could. Her grip was tight, and freeing himself would require an act of aggression, which he still wanted to avoid. ‘Think of the mission, of how important it is to get the castle up and running again,’ he coached himself.

Still, that did nothing to stop his blood pressure from skyrocketing as Leh’n leaned closer and said. “I am not accustomed to reluctance.”

i swear to god that ive recced this before, but i couldnt find it in my records so here it is!! this fic is endlessly fascinating. the exploration of gender roles is super interesting, considering who is impacted in this fic and how. the discussion about beauty standards, power imbalances, the alien wrench in things was so cool! and i think lance, who is very much someone who rides that gender lines in terms of presentation of hobbies and even chracter traits, makes sense as the main character here. interesting think piece. 

4. you had me at merlot by @ryomakun

“Oh my God,” Lance says as he covers his face. Keith’s tinny voice blares from his laptop speakers: “What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.” See, this joke might have been funny if someone charismatic and charming had said it, but Keith’s flat voice and even flatter expression effectively kidnaps, tortures, and then decapitates any chance of it being remotely humorous.

--

Keith accidentally starts a YouTube channel. Lance, of course, refuses to be left out. It goes about as well as you'd expect. (Ft. copious amounts of wine and a truly shameless number of references to MyDrunkKitchen, DailyGrace, and general pop culture)

this fic is HILARIOUS. its one of the firsts i ever screenshotted for the scrapbook i have of fics that made me laugh out loud. i offer you this one part that really made me giggle: 

““It tastes good,” Keith says petulantly as he glares at the accusing finger Hunk has pointed at him. “No offense Hunk but that stuff you gave me for my twenty-first tasted like feet and antiseptic.”

“That was a merlot,” Hunk wails. “The good kind, too!”

Ignoring them, Lance stands in front of the rum selection. This is why he didn’t want to bring anyone. They might call him loud and embarrassing, but at least he doesn’t yell inside WalMart about the virtues of a “real red wine.” An elderly couple passes through, eying the bickering three. Lance resolutely pretends he is here shopping by himself.“

the way they are so ridiculous that LANCE of all people is embarrassed of them...cinema. also this fic is peak bc it has klance as enemies to lovers and childhood friends to lovers at the same time. iconique

5. Flayed by @admiralcanthackett

Lance gets hit with a face full of spores and it leaves him wracked with pain. Touch is the only relief he can find.

yes i know i tag this author all the time but in my defense there was a point in my life where i was OBSESSED with faer fics. truly. anyways this one has unexpectedly protective keith, like to a very high degree, and im loving the heavy themes of trust and emotional as well as physical vulnerability 

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[spatio-rift]

9/10 and 24/25 :3

Yesss thank you Smiles so sweetly. 💙

9. worst part of canon: we all know about this... taka(+orochimaru)s characterization thrown away in the war for jokes or to act as plot devices... i fear i may never forgive kishimoto. the atmosphere wasnt so tense that we needed karin to be crazy about sasuke again + that overt about wanting sasuke to bite her (?!). why is suigetsu acting like he wasnt captured and experimented on by orochimaru but worked for him like karin. why is juugo acting like sasuke is kimimaro when he clearly made the difference before. orochimarus weirdass change of heart because we needed the hokages to show up. or even suigetsu randomly stumbling upon a convenient scroll detailing how to undo shiki fuujin and his first thought (before he meets sasuke again) is to pocket it because it would be useful for sasuke?? like why was it in suigetsus hideout of all places. why does suigetsu even know what it means. im sorry i just dont think orochimaru discussed the matter of his arms & the first 4 hokages souls over the vivisection table and i dont believe sasuke ever brought it up during hebitaka because WHY WOULD HEEE. etc etc etc like am i making sense? they really are just there to move the plot along and play out a joke once in a while. nothing about what happened when taka separated matters at all in the war theyre barely even characters

10. worst part of fanon: 100% the tendency to make everyone friends i think its so boring!!! like in what world are taka invited to karuis wedding? in what world is karin a guest star on the real housewives of konoha (=joining them for brunch). what exactly do temari and karin have in common other than both having the Kishimoto Woman Personality Type #1.

its so much more fun to have characters who just cant stand each other. naruto dislikes taka for literally no reason and its hilarious we should keep it that way. no way im ever believing karui genuinely befriends sakura i think they should HATE having to see each other all the time because their girls are besties. it will always feel more natural &balanced to me + im more inclined to believe 2 characters whove never talked to each other could be great friends if youve also considered who they DONT mesh with at all.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse: im trying to remember the sort of discourse ive seen on twitter… but i think i will be boring and say like anything about sakura honestly and especially her relationship with sasuke. the only thing i can think about rn is her fake confession to naruto i dont know what about it gets people going THAT much but they are naastyyy about it.

discourse about Saradas REAL Mom i also steer clear of as much as i can. disgusting. nasty. rancid. i hate that its still a thing people argue about in 2024

you could literally say anything about a naruto woman and it will bring up disgusting discourse honestly

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: i cant remember anything specific and i know i will feel silly right after posting because like 5 different things will immediately come back to me. here are a few

-> that sasukes ending sucks but everything could be fixed if he got to travel the world with taka. because he #DeservesIt. no the fuck he doesnttttt he should go on his own since he wants them to leave him alone so much.

-> i guess more generally all the complaints about narutos ending SPECIFICALLY about everyone getting married and having kids. i really dont careeee the kids are cute the pairings were set in stone from the beginning everyone is happy. im happy. who give a shit.

also its not exactly a complaint but every other comment on any kind of naruto side content (like sasuke retsuden manga etc) being like "this is awesome not like that trash boruto" SHUT UP!!!! i understand not liking the story of boruto and i understand feeling disappointed by it as a sequel to naruto but you dont have to bring it up all the time!! just move on!!! ignore it!!! you will be much happier!!!

[n7punk]

i know this is a long shot because i remember little and i'm pretty sure i've asked before and no one knew what book i was talking about but does anyone know a book that:

came out 10+ years ago

aimed at SOMEWHERE in the 8-15yo range (i realize this is a big range, but i don't remember when i read it, just that it was in the childrens section).

is a werewolf book but there's very little werewolf in it (do you know how hard it is to find a specific, non-popular childrens/pre-teen barely-werewolf book. google does not like it)

the setting is vaguely medieval/generic fantasy although i dont remember there being much fantasy outside of werewolves. maybe some alchemy? i really dont think magic obviously existed for much of the story

the main character is a girl (Also in the 8-15 range i would guess) who is living with a family that isn't her exact birth family (stepmom, grandparents, orphan taken in, i dont remember but it was something like that) and it isn't Great but mostly because they're poor and she's the weak link i think

for some reason she gets taken to a quarry and i remember it being her family's fault. like they didn't protect her from the working draft, did it to pay off their debts, etc. she's forced to work but makes friends with the other workers and i think she ends up seeming unusual in some way (strength to work when grown men cant, healing and recovering, etc. a plague sweeps through and she's fine and it's suspicious) there.

somehow she ends going from there to the palace. i remember her having some tie with the royal family but i think she also might have just befriended their daughter or something.

she was on the run either on the way to the palace or afterwards. she hid in a barn or under a trapdoor or something

here's the distinct part: that book ends with her in the woods, discovering she's a werewolf with the help of other wolf(ves). she has an injury at the base of her neck where the hair has grown back pure white (a sign of werewolfism???)

i feel like it was setting up for a sequel but have no idea if that ever happened. a few Extremely sparse details of this book have been burned in the back of my mind for like fifteen years and i have no clue what the fuck it was. any parts of this could be incorrect/missing because ive remembered this so many times off and on over the years that idk what parts are real or my brain filling in the gaps. i might be combining two books honestly but i dont think i am.

like i feel like her birth parent(s) (maybe just one) were wolves in the woods that she didnt know were werewolves, she started showing signs of being supernatural in the quarry, someone (rasputin-ish) kind of recognized that in her and had her brought to the palace to more carefully study (unbeknownst to her, to a certain degree), she became really good friends with a noble lady there her age, discovered her family might have ties to the royal one, but was still essentially a prisoner. one night she tried to sneak out and the princess(?) caught her but then ended up covering her ass so she could climb the wall and went on the run. she hid in a barn at one point, was discovered by a family and hid from the same kind of patrol that took her to the quarry. somehow she ended up injured, limping into the woods, where she discovered she was a werewolf. and then the book ended. but that sounds so inexplicable i feel like half of it has to be wrong! so i really want to find this book again but i cant figure out what to even google to find this weird fucking story again and i would feel like a lunatic going back to my childhood library 15 years later or whatever and trying to describe this fever dream to them.

[toadstool32]

darlingpost darling post get out while u still can

this is my ososan self insert darling! not their real name they get named a la homestuck aka they need a name and so thats what we call this guy

visual arts student in their last year, no gender unless its funny, always wear comfy or flowy clothes that hide the chest (SHRODINGERS BOOBS?? ((they r flat theyre like a ken doll, )))

le ref sheet

IN MY HEAD darling was like photocopying some doujin pages they were working on (for fun) at some store bc their printer broke or wathevs and then fucked up and suddenlly all the papers are scattered everywhere!!! noooo the gay porn!!! and karamatsu is like oh hang on let me help u with those my good sir (darling is dressed like a mess here) and darling is so fucking embarrassed but still goes like ummm thank uuu??? and karamatsu is like of course! no need to thank me!! karmatsu matsuno!!!<introduces himself here and darling is like waaaa he so nice and doesnt think im a freak for LITERALLY PRINTING GAY PORN IN PUBLIC WHAT THE FUCK anyway they do small talk with like ah yes great work here get home safe dont lose those papers again yes sir yes sir!!

karamatsu goes on with his life but darling is like waaa he was so nice i wanna be friends or something but idk if i will everrr find him again siiighhh. buut like one week later darling is all dressed up on theyr way to the city museum bc they help out there for school credit (is that a thing in japan idk this is me playing with dolls) but still have some time to kill to get there and on the way they see karamatsu in the distance and darling is like oh! i can say hi!! so they go but bc they r dressed more cutesy now karamatsu immediately starts doing his bit before darling even says hi hes like: "AH YES OUR FATED MEETING WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!! YES IVE BEEN SEEING U IN MY DREAMS AND MAY IT BE FATE THAT HAS BROUGHT U TOGETHER¿ RIGHT NOW MY **DARLING**!!" or something like that and darling is an idiot so they go "OMG HE REMEMBERS ME FROM LAST TIME! AND HE WANTS ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY!! OR SOMETHING IM NOT SURE WHATS HE TALKING ABOUT!" point is darling doesn't ask for his name cause they already know it and karamatsu quite literally just names them darling and then they go on a not date to the museum cause i say so

dont get me wrong i ship them but also theyre both so fail at this bc darling is an airhead and karamatsu is....karamatsu

they would be the kind of ship that starts dating without knowing which i find funny bc karamatsu would make a big deal out of asking darling out and darling would be like oh as a friend right and would miss every romance cue ever but then when darling would be like hey are we dating and karamatsuu would be like *dies from both exasperation and relief* and then darling would be too concerned about getting him to the hospital and forgets about the dating part im hjust having fun here

darling tag with silly stuff

ANYWAY darlin n karamatsu are besties darling likes hearing him talk bc its funny and they compliment him on his spakly stuff n music even tho darling knows shit abt music and karamatsu hangs around trying to cheerlead darling on stuff and darling does the same, idiot to idiot communication,

ALSO darling cant see very well n they make a very goofy lights r on nobodys home face whenever they dont wear their glasses and confuse the matsus constantly at the start probably lol,

like after hanging out a bit darling probably sees totty in the city and they go OMGG KARAMACHAN U DIDNT TELL ME U WERE GOnna be in the city we could hang out and ur dressed in pink if i wore my pink cardigan we could maaatch and then realizes, they fucked up and totty is like KARAMACCHAN WHO, but totty was like, with friends and the girls are like omg totty who is this and darling is like TOTTY WHO, and his friends rope darling into hanging out bc darling straight up glomped totty there and they r never living that down ever.

and then todomatsu confronts karamatsu like DO YOU KNOW THIS GIRL and karamatsu is like ah thats darling and totty is like DIE?? anyway they get along fine n totty calls them dari-chan i think darling also gets along with osomatsu darling draws him silly stuff on request n sometimes tries to play with jyushimatsu (dies) ichi probs thinks darling has something wrong in the head to hang out w karamatsu (they do) and choromatsu is like perpetually confused, no one uses the same set of pronouns for darling which creates confusion at the start

darling is technically a nickname (and an overly cutesy one too!) so darling gets named that way by karamatsu at the start so they go oh i guess we r besties for life now and so they go like ok so i need a cutesy nickname for him so they do that and with totty darling fucks up introducing themself to him so they end up being dari-chan to him as a way to make an even more cutesy name out of an already cute nickname i just think thats funny

uuu what else what else, picky eater of the eats meat variety, short, cant see, tummy hurts, lightweight but doesnt care, this is literally me bro, this post is already so fucking long idk what else more, im just playing with dolls man

[weirdloverwilde]

wicked thoughts

damn i wonder what the good witch of the North was up to during all this glinda elphaba nessarose drama.

i love the wizard of oz so much man. its such a good fun whimsical universe and the extended lore is so fun. ive been obsessed with these books since i was a little kid

the design of everything in this film was incredible. it was so incredible and whimsical and looked perfect and brought a great stage musical even more to life

the ribbon fish were so cute!!

the part in defying gravity where she is flying around and the camera frames it so her long cape takes up the entire bottom half of the screen and i think it was a reference to how the effect is done in the musical

i think boq is more likeable in this - but that is moreso cause im an unironic ethan slater fan and have been since before everyone knew him from dating ariana. hes got some good music

i thought they were going to change some nessarose stuff - esp the part with the milkflowers, cause her plot is the weakest in the show and could be improved.. maybe in part 2?

in the wizard and i elphaba runs like a mile away from shiz and gets to the impassable desert so interesting that shiz is on the edge of oz

everytime seeing the impassable desert was so exciting i love it they do so many silly things with it in the books, like the dwarfs that tunnel under it to invade

did i mention the SET DESIGN. oh my god please let them win every award for it it was beyond incredible. shiz was sooo magical and whimsical. dancing through life in the library was done incredibly well!!!

loved fiyero. i just like Jonathan bailey but he brought so much to such a mid character

every time we saw into a random town ie. at the begining the extras werent all colour coded?? sorry are these the munchkins or the quadlings or the winkies or the gillikins?? they WOULD be colour coded that is essential

i hope this makes a hundred trillion at the box office so they greenlight a wizard of oz remake (desperately needed cause the 1939 one isnt that good) and also start making films of the sequel books

i should read all the wizard of oz books again

i didnt know kristin and idina were going to be in this it was cool af to see them. i dont remember that whole lil stage show being present in the musical. i love the idea of the ancient magical ones though its a really good backstory

the moment when elphaba makes the stone carving of the wizard fall down and it reveals an animal behind it ooo

theres a lot i cant remember that probably will be explained in part 2 but i wonder how the animal plot is resolved - in the books there are many talking animals and the wizard is happy and glinda teaches him magic and fine with it, so we'll see..

sentimental man is so underrated and will always be

the monkeys are still so terrifying

i love the model of oz they built its so cute - but the hmmm what colour should this brick road me was such a prequel trope it was prob my least favourite part

its so interesting that wizard of oz and this film have the same plot twist - that the wizard cant actually do magic, so you go into this film knowing that but its still an effective twist and is obviously played so differently in this film

im so excited for part 2 why do i have to wait a wholeee year... this must be how people felt after back to the future part 2 waiting for part 3

thank you so much if you made it to here i love you!!!! ❤️😍❤️😍💖❣️💕💘

[s0m3b0dy2u]

this is a vent

feel free to ignore

so, a few weeks ago i told a few friends of mine that i couldn't be friends anymore for the sake of my mental health

(this is the one thats relevant rn):

a little bit of context: this girl (we'll call her a for now) was one of my irl friends. i moved up here around 4 years ago, and she was one of my first friends. we didnt talk a lot, but we had a kind of mutual respect for each other, id like to believe. the next year or wtv though we were fighting constantly, and (slight TW)(i dont remember if she told me to kms or if she threatened to kill herself but something like that happened). after that we didnt talk for god knows how long and then we were friends again. we were decent friends until last year, when a certain other girl (lets call her a-) moved up here and instantly integrated into the friend group. the 3 of us as well as another person (j) were like best friends... except not really. i started dating a- and it all went downhill from here. around a- and j i felt totally invisible, and a was the only one that didnt make me feel like that. i voiced my concerns to a. thennnn some fucking shit happened. a- got with j and then broke up with me, i did some things that i was never and wont ever be proud of (they said i was using my mental healthy as an excuse and it was never an excuse, what i did and what i said was so shitty but yk wtv), shit talking each other back and forth etc. at the time j was dating my best friend (t) but they were together for like years i think but j was super toxic and then they broke up one day, j called t the n-word (hard r) and a- also called t a slur

slight TW:

(we're getting off topic now)

anyway, a continued being best friends with a- and then i started feeling invisible around that whole fg

i was constantly being left out, ex:

a and their friends went to the mall together when i not even weeks before proposed the idea, this kinda shit continued for nearly a year i think (it at least feels that long anyway)

they became close friends with a girl who used to be one of my best friends (m) and m was like "oh, we should hang out" (to me) but was always apparently too busy hanging out with a and a- or whatever

whenever a- was in the room i was literally invisible and i got sick of it

a and m only ever talked to me when it was convenient for them or it was just me and one of them in any given room

id already addressed this issue in the past and they didnt listen

this hurt me

i told them politely i couldnt be their friend rn for the sake of my mental health

i valued their friendship more than anything

but now im "playing the victim" and im toxic and im the asshole for genuinely putting myself first and trying to fucking heal

plus it was a personal boundary, i just cant be friends with anyone thats friends with a-

because when she's around it always goes back to there being drama

we were fine before she moved here

but now ive lost countless friends and my mental health is sinking farther with each day and i just wanna kms but i cant, theres so many reasons why i cant

and, were in highschool, word travels, of course it does

i heard that a brought up something

specifically:

at least im pretty sure this is what they were referencing

(also, this, idk if this is related tho?)

anyway

either a blew it out of proportion, or the story got blown out of proportion as it passed from ear to ear but the version i heard is not what fucking happened at all

ill be honest, the girl the person was talking about i had a crush on

i was on vc with that person when this went down

ill say, ive always been super hypersexual, i feel like thats safe to say

up until this point, my thoughts about my crush were always super respectful, to the point where i felt guilty even being in her presence like as a bystander like shes so worth the world and ill just hurt her by being around type shit

when we were having that conversation i legitimately wasnt thinking about anything, just the thought of thinking bout her that way had me red

when i tell you those were the tamest "sexual" intrusive thoughts i ever had

and i still felt so guilty

like i thought about making out with her and her kissing my neck and that was it

and i was so ashamed, im still ashamed, im not proud of myself at all i feel so small and "oh youre playing the victim again" literally gfys

theres nothing i hate more than feeling so pathetic, so why would i make myself the victim?

she (a) also said (on multiple occasions) that i didnt like several ppl in that group which is blatantly false. i never really disliked any of them (save a- and j, and now a too probably but even now saying i dislike her is too strong for what i feel)

on top of that she said im toxic which she knows is literally my biggest fear

like yeah ik im the asshole, im always in the wrong im so toxic because everyones always told me that

and to think once i felt better i was gonna try and tell her where i was coming from and why i cut her off, since i really valued her friendship

i know, though, that i dont need her around if shes gonna act like that, even if its to make herself feel better or to win the approval of others

anyway at least i got to go home early today because i had a mental breakdown about this ..・ヾ(。＞＜)シ

whats even worse is i cant talk to any of my friends about this bcs t is dear friends with a and my other friends literally would not care

if youre reading this, i love you (/p) have a great morning, day, afternoon, evening, or night

[itsajanea]

Part 2 here

The next day

Smg3 enters the room and sees that Smg4 is the only one there

Smg4: Hey.

Smg3: Just uh, brought back your laptop.

Smg4 starts to blush a little, possibly regretting what he was gonna say

Smg4: Hey, uh, Three, I uh, think we need to talk about before.

Smg3: NO ,no we don't.

Smg4: YES we DO. Now look. That was the BEST nap I ever had!

Smg3: I dont, I dont know what you're talking about.

Smg3 looks away from Smg4, He was trying his best not to blush

Smg4: Come on. Admit it. That was the best nap you ever had!

Smg3: Ive had better.

Smg4: Ok, When?

Smg3 found himself struggling to find the right words to say, but in the end he finally had admitted it

Smg3: ALL RIGHT,ALL RIGHT, IT WAS THE BEST NAP EVER.

Smg3: I SAID IT OK! BUT it's over Four!!!

Three covers his face with his hands, trying to hide the fact that his face is as red as a tomato

Smg4: I want to do it again!

Smg3: We CANT do it again.

Smg4: Why not?

Smg3: Because its WEIRD!!!!

Smg4: Fine. You want some snacks or drinks?

Smg3: Sure, What do you got?

Smg4: Warm milk and sleeping pills .

Smg3 gives Smg4 an angry look before leaving

Smg4 sighs as the other man left, wondering to himself if he really liked the nap OR his nap partner

Thoughts began to fill the head of Smg4, remembering all their moments together(especially some that he wish to NOT remember), Realizing how cute Three gets whenever he teases him and such.

Smg4 truly realized that he really was in love with Smg3, and that he made things even more awkward between them

He then locked himself in his room and cried about potentially ruining his chance with Smg3 because of a stupid nap

Note: yay part 2 :DDDDDD. I still can't believe I randomly thought this up. I'm still learning on how to do writing stuff like this but I hope you guys like it <3

Part three later