#cant believe the 1st real writing thing im posting abt this au is this but eh im fine with that actually.

[dapper-nahrwhale]

so wheres dareth in crime au 👀

He is in the same place as he should be, former dojo owner turned karaoke bar owner.

So I accidentally wrote over 2k abt that last night trying to answer that. Somehow the ninja snuck their way into this lol making it twice as long. Uhhhh enjoy?

(I'm doing prompts for the ninjago crime au now, to get some more inspiration and all, so if you've got any ideas send them over and I'll write them!)

[Read it here or under the cut]

-

"So why a karaoke bar?" Ronin asked the barkeep, genuinely curious to know. Not for any ulterior motives, just to know. 

Lately, Ronin had not been frequenting his usual haunts of shady dive bars and cesspools of criminals. Instead he's been trying something new. A karaoke bar filled to the brim with Garmadon enforcers wasn't his go to, not unless he wanted to make trouble. But this one was special. It had a particularly cute bartender. Sure, any bar can have one, but none of them had this one. 

It was also good for getting inside info on what moves Garmadon was planning on making. Not to stop him, just to keep out of his way. For now. But most of his time has been spent there chatting up the barkeep, not getting any practical useful information. Might as well grill the owner to have something to show for it.

"Well, I had a dojo a long time ago but never had enough business to keep it going and had to shut it down, it was good for a while but… things happened." The cute bartender distractedly glanced at the Garmadon enforcers with a tight frown, nearly dropping the glass he was cleaning.

Ronin decidedly didn't look at the brutes sprawled around the bar. They seemed good for the bar's business, and Ronin couldn't afford to get himself in any more trouble. Better safe than sorry. Better to keep his head down for now and try not to cause any more trouble.

"And a karaoke bar seemed a good idea as any." The man laughed, and Ronin would give anything in the world to hear that sound again. All his money, his secrets, his life, anything just to make him laugh again. 

"I'm sure there's gotta be more profitable businesses out there you could have picked. Y'know, like uh pony racing." Ronin knew quite a lot about profitable businesses, having been involved in more money making schemes than he can count. There was definitely a reason to own an underperforming bar, and that wasn't to make bank.  

And there was that laugh again. Ronin could die happy now.

"Eh, I happen to enjoy hearing shitty covers of pop songs and making way too sugary drinks." He gestured to the drunk group wailing at the mic, singing so loud and annoying they might as well be screaming. It made Ronin want to toss them over a bridge, just to get some peace and quiet. But the barkeep didn't seem to mind, humming along with the song that played.

The man's tie hung undone around his neck and a white shirt was unbuttoned just enough to catch a peek of a gold chain holding a medallion with a star in it. Shiny. Ronin willed his hands to stay onto his drink. He didn't want to get kicked out of a bar for having sticky fingers 

Again.

"Why the name Laughys though?" He took another gulp of the drink to distract himself. It was too sweet and tangy, too much juice, not enough liquor, but at least it tasted good. He squinted his eye at the barkeeps smudged nametag. Dareth. Odd name, but who's Ronin to judge.

"Who doesn't need a good laugh every now and then, especially with how things are now. We just do what we can to make it easier."

"Ah, I get that." Ronin did whatever he could to stay afloat himself. Pushing down others to get what he wanted had never been a problem before. But now, now he can't justify it to himself as easily, can't excuse it. It's all those damn kids' fault. Making his bleeding heart pour out everywheres.

"Guess I just want to let people have a good have time and forget about how fucked everything is, ya know." 

"Yeah, yeah. I know." He sighed, taking the last swig of the sugary tangy juice. 

"So I've seen you around here a lot lately, but you never go up to sing?" Dareth's astute observation did not go unnoticed. 

"Ah, so you've noticed me around here have you?" His coy sharp grin tried to change the conversation, with no such luck.The flat look Dareth leveled him with would have stung if he'd had any shame or dignity left.

"Hard not to notice you, what with my other regulars being Garmadons guys or whatever other gang has taken over this street for the week."

"At least the last gang could sing, this one eh."

"I'm sure you could do better, then."

"Oh, uh, I'm really not that good at singing. Sounds like a croaking cat, I swear." He laughed at that. His singing really did sound much worse than that.

"C'mon, karaoke's not about being good at it, it's about having a good time."

"I haven't had one of those in a while either." Hands clutched the empty glass like a lifeline, like if he let go he'd drown and that would be it for him.

"Here I'll show you." The rag he was using to clean glasses was carelessly tossed over his shoulder onto the counter.

"Shouldn't you be, I don't know bartending?" He panicked. 

Dareth looked around at the empty bar. The enforcers were scattered in groups, hushed whispers reached Ronin's ears making him more than a little paranoid, but none were approaching the bar. Ronin was the sole occupant.

"I think they can hold out for a few minutes." He held out a hand with a smile. 

The wide smile made around his eyes crinkle and shine. The kindness of it was so bright Ronin knew it would blind him if he looked at it directly. So he looked at his outstretched hand instead. It was soft and bejeweled with several fake gold rings and a little bit sticky from making drinks all night. 

He didn't look at his own, he knew they were calloused and crooked and more than a little bloody from things long ago that he wishes he could regret. He didn't want to get any on the man's white shirt, nevermind it was already stained from spilled drinks. He didn't want to ruin him like he had everything else in his life. He was too good for Ronin to ruin him as well. 

He didn't want to be selfish this time. 

He couldn't. 

"Uh, I'd love to but, I uh, gotta go. Left the laundry in the oven." He glanced at the time just to divert his gaze from the hand. 10:30 isn't that unreasonable a time to call it quits right? He's not a young man anymore, he really can't be out drinking all night. He's got things to heist, people to steal from. A very busy life without this rather endearing bartender in it. 

The laugh Dareth gave almost made it all worth it. 

"Well, you're welcome back any time then. I'll put the karaoke duet on hold. Until after you've taken care of that, what was it, oven laundry? Heh, sounds like fun."

Oh Garmadon, is that what he just said. Had Ronin really just used 'oven laundry' as his excuse. He had to leave right now before he embarrassed himself any further.

"Here, for the tab. Keep the change." He slapped a few too many coins into the man's hand and fled the karaoke bar like a bat out of hell. 

He was too sweet for Ronin, too kind, too good. Too good for him, anyways. He didn't want to ruin him too. Every beautiful thing Ronin had ever touched he had ruined in the end, and by god if that man wasn't the most beautiful and charming person he'd met in a long while. Ronin was just too good at breaking the things that he shouldn't. Too good at ruining the things he wanted to keep good. And he didn't want to drag anyone down with him. Not again. 

For once in his life he couldn't be selfish. Not this time. 

Not again.

He didn't notice Dareth looking back at him as he left, a disappointed frown now etched on his face and his hand still outstretched holding the coins. Still waiting. And then he sighed and got back to work. 

He also didn't notice the empty glass still clutched in his hand until he got to the street and by that point, it was too late to turn back then. Might as well keep it. Guess sticky fingers don't go away too easily.

Some things just stay with you.

-

"Mr. Ronin's in loooooove!" Jays mocking reached his ears as soon as Ronin's unlocked apartment door opened up. It made him pause. Jay's unruly curls popped over the couch, shit eating grin in tow. 

When had Jay of all people gotten to the point he could look at Ronin and just tell what was going on in his head. He was getting too close to these kids. He needed to cut ties from everyone and run far away before he fucked them all up too. 

The kids were lounging in his tiny living room, Jay taking up most of the worn couch with his tiny body, Kai and Nya perched on the armrests like gargoyles, Zane sitting cross legged on the floor with Cole practically planking next to him on the ground, some program played on the small tv in front of them.

Zanes' polite chime of, "Mr. Ronins business is his own, we shouldn't pry." broke him out of his thoughts.

Instead he shook his head and headed in the room. No he couldn't do that to them, leave them, not when they were all counting on him. He couldn't. Not yet anyways. They had a job to complete and Ronin was, if nothing else, a professional. He wouldn't leave them hanging like that. 

"Look, the love guru just knows these things ok-"

"Shut it brat." Ronin stormed by, intent on shutting himself in his apartment and wallowing for a good bit, but fate had other ideas. Namely fate had all the kids in his apartment eating his stale chips and watching his crappy tv. 

Jay pouted at being referred to as a brat. Even though it was undeniably true. 

He reinforced his brat status by throwing a chip in Kai's overgeled hair, laughing when it stuck there. Kai immediately retaliated.

Ronin reached the kitchen, rinsing the glass he accidentally stole out in the sink. 

"What are all you doing here? Don't you have your own places to be at?" He tossed his red straw hat like a frisbee at the group as an attempt to break up the oncoming chip battle. It did not work. Zane plucked it from the air and placed it atop his own head, looking more than a little smug. 

"We ran out of chips, so we broke into your apartment." Nya held up Ronins half empty chip bags. 

"And your cables better than any of ours, seeing as how Jay's generous 'upgrades' only fried all of our TVs." Cole glared up at Jay, who sprinkled crumbs on him. 

"Ah. Fair enough." He shrugged. Honestly he couldn't blame them, he'd have done the same thing too. He was damn proud of them for getting past all the various traps and alarms he'd set, which takes some pretty diligent teamwork. Good for them. They're getting better.

And now Kai, Jay, Cole and Nya were all throwing chips at each other. Great. Maybe he wasn't all that proud of them after all. And Ronin refused to clean their mess up. At least with all them here, once they left he would have to. He really didn't want rats in here again. 

He was fully intent on going to his room and planning out the next heist or trying to sleep, whichever came first, when Cole stopped him.

"Uh, you wanna watch with us, Mr. Ronin?" Cole asked while smothering Jay with the mostly empty chip bag.

All of them laughing and throwing chips at one another, having fun, it seemed too good to interrupt. But they did come over to his place, for more than just the chips and semi reliable cable he suspects. Might as well give the kids what they want or they'll be pestering him all night.  

"Hell, why not. Scoot over runt."

"I am not a runt!" Screeched Jay from the couch.

"So what's on." He kicked Jay's legs away from one end of the couch and plopped down, accidentally crushing a bag of chips. Great. Just great.

"It's a reality show, but like with brutal fighting and shit. They toss a bunch of kids in a pit and they gotta fight it out gladiator style." Kai explained.

"And what's the winner get? Something good I hope." If it was a rare trophy or a boatload of money Ronin might have to see about another heist.

"They get to live." Zane stated, glowing eyes locked on the screen like trying to solve an insolent puzzle.

"Ah, that's it?"

"That's it." His tone was solemn as he'd ever heard a robots voice. He'd never known a machine could sound so melancholy. 

"You ever known anyone who's been on there?" Ronin really hoped they didn't.

Kai shrugged, "Yeah, a few. But it's their own fault for wanting to get on that show in the first place. Fame and glory only lasts so long when you've nothing to back it up." He crossed his arms and slouched back onto the armrest.

"But to spice it up, we're taking bets to see who's gonna win. Want in?" Cole cheekily held up an old Chen's noodle house notepad, with their names and bets marked down. It seemed like Jay, Kai, and Nya kept losing, while Cole and Zane seem to have teamed up on winning. Good for them. 

"Nah, I know well enough never to bet against a super smart super bot and former crimelords bodyguard."

"Then you know more than them." Zane looked to the trio grumbling on the couch as someone on the screen won their battle. They handed Zane a few coins each, which he split among Cole. Not the outcome they had predicted it would seem. But the outcome the other two had. 

Interesting development. 

"I'm feeling like having a grilled cheese, any takers?" Might as well feed them something better than old chips if they're here. Ronin got up and stretched his arms above his head till he heard a satisfying pop.

"Oh yes!" 

"Yeah I'll have one."

Affirmations rang out through the kids.

"I wouldn't mind helping you, the competition here has gotten stale." Zane cooly brushed off. 

"Hey, we are not stale!" Nya outraged shout followed them a few feet away to the kitchen.

"Yeah, if anything these chips are more stale than us!" Kai threw the last if the chips at Zane.

"You guys are cleaning all this up, you do know that right?" Ronin gestured to the scattering of crumbs littering just about every surface of the apartment.

Stony silence met him until all the kids chimed in at once.

"Maybe that grilled cheese doesn't sound so great-" Jay leaped up.

"Yeah, I've got to go, uh-" Kai beat him to the door, pulling it open.

"There's a definitely real thing we totally forgot about-" Nya was right behind them pushing them out, the traitor.

"Oh, are we leaving now? What about helping clean-" Zane switched tracks and followed them as Cole pulled him away.

"Yep buddy. Ok bye Mr. Ronin, thanks for letting us hang out, uh, we'll see you later I guess? Yeah, bye!" Cole waved and shut the door behind them, leaving Ronin standing there dumbfounded.

Well, that's one way to clear a room.

And still the place was a mess. He sighed and got to work.

The things he does for these kids.

He didn't even notice the stupid smile on his face stayed the rest of the night.