#cant believe im out here having to explain myself to want to sleep at quarter past midnight
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#wow really no one can make you feel as much of a failure as family can#cant believe im out here having to explain myself to want to sleep at quarter past midnight#after i got here at like after 10pm after being away for a week and a long and stressful#and generally somewhat overwhelming day at work#any many things today not working out the way i wanted them to#so god forbid wanting to sleep#and not driving my sister around all of a sudden#like what do people even want from me#and then they wonder why i dont like being here
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Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
"Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr
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I graduated from a University of California last quarter and now I'm applying for health insurance. For my last year as a student, I took advantage of the counseling services offered at my school. I took part in therapy because it helped me get through the stress of an extremely difficult course load during my last few quarters. To be honest, I would not have gone to therapy if it hadn't been 100% covered by my student health insurance. I was never prescribed any medication, I'm not seeing a therapist at the moment, and I don't intend to start seeing one again any time in the foreseeable future. Obviously, I have no choice but to write that I've seen a psychologist for mental/emotional reasons. The question is how do I explain it so that it causes the least harm to my application? Do you think this is something I should be concerned about?""
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Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
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""Do professional race car drivers have life insurance and if so, how much does it cost?""
Do professional race car drivers have life insurance and if so, how much does it cost?""
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I compared the co pays on several reputable dental insurance companies and it is very expensive. Many things are not covered, even with the best dental insurance. Health insurance is usually a 10 dollar co pay for primary physicians and a 35-50 dollar co pay for specialty physicians. Is there any reason why dental insurance co pay is as expensive as it is?""
Auto insurance question?
My car was hit while it was parked in my own driveway 4 days ago (in NY state). The police came and filed a report. I asked them for the other drivers insurance info, but they said I would have to wait for the police report and it would include that information. They advised it would be available after 5 business days at a cost of $5.00. I think the information should have been made available immediately so I could have filed a claim with the other person's insurance company. I don't suspect they will get rich by charging $5.00, so I don't know why I have to wait for the info. I am concerned that the other person's insurance will question the delay in filing the claim. Is this normal? I would really like to get my car fixed as soon as possible and am frustrated that I have to wait to get information that I think should have been immediately available. The driver that hit my car admitted to being on heavy duty prescription drugs at the time of the accident, but said that wasn't the cause of the accident. They said they had a seizure and had a documented history of seizures (which makes me think they shouldn't have a valid license anymore). The police seemed suspicious, but said they wouldn't issue any tickets as long as the person agreed to go to the hospital for treatment of seizures. There were no injuries, but there was significant damage to several parked vehicles, and minor damage to several homes and other property that was hit . Thank you to all that answer.""
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
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I have a little Mr. Fix it business on the side and I carry a few tools in my SUV. I am thinking of getting a commercial auto policy. Will it be more expensive than personal and how ...show more
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Help me find a good auto insurance company for pizza delivery?
I live in Brisbane QLD. Can you guys help me find the best insurance company that offers commercial insurance with the smallest excess at the least premium. I'm going to be using my car for delivering pizza. Obviously I'm not expecting anything cheap because most insurance companies are in it for the money, not the customer. I've looked at RACQ and some other more well known companies, is there anyone else I should check?""
What is the average cost of health insurance for a small design firm with 3-5 full time salaried employees?
I'm looking to start a design firm, but want to be able to give my employees the opportunity to have full health care coverage.""
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How much is 21 century auto insurance?
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I need braces, I do have insurance I am a teen we cant really afford them. I would probably need a year to two in a half years with them. Thank u""
Beach Buggy Insurance at 18?
Ok so me and my dad have been working on this unfinished beach buggy project (now almost done maybe a month more). I'am a male student that has just finished my second year of college and have had my licence a little over a year (got my licence at 17 to get it out the way) I have never owned a car/been insured on a car and was wondering what sort of prices it would cost to get insured on a beach buggy at my age, the initial plan was for me to get something like a corsa when im 19 and try get insured on the buggy when im like 21. would anyone even insure a VW beach buggy on an 18 year old without no claims bonus? and if so how much do you think im looking at (if some answers seem reasonable i might call adrian flux to see if i can get a quote""
1 Day Car Insurance?
I live in the UK and im trying to find 1 day car insurance but im only 20 any ideas please help!!!
What is the difference between 'underwrite' and 'insure' ?
are they the same?
How to get a cheaper car insurance in new jersey?
i leased a car a year ago and allstate just add 500 dollars on my premium and actually my car insurance is way more expensive than my car note. although i have 2 points on my drivers licence but it has been almost two years now and since i havent had no moving violation. Am planning to take a online defensive driver class to remove them. Please let me know what should i do to lower my premium or where to go cause its killing my finance. i am living in new jersey.
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I called my insurance agent (btw I have non-owners insurance) to cancel my insurance policy and the agent told me that DMV could revoke my license if I do not have insurance. I talked to my mom about it and she told me that it was a lie, I also talked to my girlfriend about it and she says that she doesn't have insurance or isn't on her parents' policy and DMV hasn't done anything to her. I just want to reassure myself, or is it a better idea to call my local DMV office about it? Also, I am 18 and I don't have a car yet. The insurance agent told me that if I get a car and I am still with that policy I can add my car onto that policy without paying any down payment fee. I am hoping to get a car in 1-2 months, is it worth keeping the car insurance? I only wanted to cancel it since I do not have a car yet.""
What would my allstate car insurance be?
im a 16 year old female. i went through driver's ed (so you're suppose to get a discount) and my mom had been a member of allstate for at least 10 years with no accidents or anything. so im wondering, about how much would MY car insurance be?""
How much is a spouse's auto insurance in MA?
How much increase is a spouse's auto insurance compared to just an individual's insurance if we drive the same car in MA, with full coverage and that he's a casual driver?""
Will traffic points on your permit affect your insurance when you get your license.?
I am a 16 year old living in Florida who has my permit and is about to get my license. I recently got a ticket for not wearing my seat belt, and I'm not sure if these points from my ticket on my permit will affect my insurance rates when I do get my license. I know you can take that class and erase the points, but I just don't want to spend 4 hours there if I don't have to. Thanks.""
Does bike insurance go up?
Was just wondering if motorcycle insurance Companies put their prices up In summer/at beginning of summer. I got a quote about a month ago for 400 on a bike, just got another qoute on the same bike for over 1000!! Is this because it's basically summer and more bikers will be out? So they whacked there prices up?""
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its been a little over 4 months since ive had my at fault accident and my insurance hasnt gone up.I have allstate and the accident forgiveness doesnt apply to california yet,so will they ever raise my rates or is it just going to stay the same?""
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Is there any hope of me insuring a group 14 insurance car? I don't care how crappy the insurance is as long as its legal. All the quotes I have been getting are ridiculous.
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
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I'm 20 years old and I live in Houston,TX and I got pulled over in a town outside Houston called Pearland. I went thirteen miles over 30 and got ticketed by the police officer of the town. Now here in Texas, before you go to the DMV to get a license you have to take a 6 hour driving class which was made into a law dating back to 2010. This is my first speeding ticket I got since I first got my driver's license almost a year ago. If I go to the courthouse and admit that it was my fault for speeding and pay the fine before my court date arrives, will my insurance rate still go up? (Please don't leave negative feedbacks. I'm just trying to get some honest answers)""
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I was thinking, Will New Car Insurances do a backup check on my previous insurance or they just start on a new claim and use the information based on that. The thing this will be my first car and as the price is high and if i say I have done a car insurance with that company will my insurance price go down as no claim for one year.""
Do you have health insurance?
if so, how much is it per month?? How old are you?? what kind of deducatble do you have?? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance and how you might pay any medical costs.""
""What is a good, affordable health insurance?
I'm looking for some health insurance for me and my husband that we can actually afford. We live in NJ and the policy we have now is going up way to much now. We are looking for something we can afford with little to no deductible would be great too.
How much roughly will my car insurance go up if I make a claim to have it resprayed due to vandalism?
How much roughly will my car insurance go up if I make a claim to have it resprayed due to vandalism?
Where can i get cheap car insurance as a 17 year old?
everytime i keep searching for a quote, i get silly prices cheapest i can get is 5,500! only problem is, is that ive got a 1.4 litre citroen saxo""
Motorcycle insurance?
Hello. I live in ontario. I am currently interested in getting a motorcycle and undergoing my m1 then thereafter m2 licencing. I am interested in getting a sport type bike (600-750cc). Either being a YAMAHA or Kawasaki. I am 26 years old. Who would be the best to get the insurance from and what regulations are there towards the insurance for motorcycle drivers? THANKS!
What car insurance company provides the cheapest policies and best coverage?
What car insurance company provides the cheapest policies and best coverage?
What are some good websites that talk about insurance options for a single parent?
I'm working on a health project and I can't find any websites that give me insurance options for a single parent. Can anyone please give me any trusted sources?
Teen girl car insurance premium?
I was wondering if anyone had an idea of about how much it would cost me. I'm buying (maybe) a 2004 ford focus with 53k miles on it, but it's going to be under my stepdads name (I only have half the cash right now and I need a car to get back and forth from classes in a couple weeks when I start at a local university so he's buying it and I'm paying him back). We also have a stage 3 2014 roush and a 2012 Nissan Titan on our plan. I know the (6 month?) premium on the roush is a little over 1300, but I'm not sure about the Titan, and im not sure if that will affect it. Im pretty much wondering about the insurance on the focus considering the fact that im a 17 year old teen. I have a part time job and I'm a full time student, though and that helps a bit. I also took drivers Ed. And I'm a mostly A with some B's honors student. So insurance price in terms of me?""
""No vehicle, Need SR22 Or Non Owners Bond? Ohio.?""
Situation- September 2009 I got my license suspended due to an OVI. I live with my parents whom own vehicles but I do not have one in my name. I am in the military, and my mother is ill. Both need me to get my license so your information is much appreciated. I want to get my license reinstated so I can drive my mothers vehicle when required. I am not sure where to get a non owners bond, or the correct SR22. I have called insurance companies and they say they cannot help me. I know I need to pay the reinstatement fee and provide proof of FR. Does the Non owners bond count as FR. Can I drive legally with it or do I need an insurance policy on top of that. Thank you for your help.""
""Ear infection, No insurance?""
i got an ear infection, i dont have insurance. How much would it cost me to see a doctor for that and i live in mass.""
What is affordable insurance for nasal fracture (nose broken) in Texas?
i'm looking for insurance that cover foe nasal fracture that i can affort..I live in Texas .. i look for the cost for the doctor, and it is too much to pay put of my pocket without insurance""
Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?
Does anyone know any good cheap insurance companies to insure my car?
How hard is it to start your own insurance company?
how much capital do you need or are there companysthat will front the money
Can having your car insurance cancelled lower your credit score?
My friend had his car insurance cancelled because his wife had a few wrecks in a few years and then a DUI. They were on the same policy. Last month is when they were told their car insurance would be cancelled. Last month Equifax dropped his credit score 100points (don't know about hers). They only reason he knew about the credit score drop was because his one and only credit card had the limit lowered 75% The only thing he can think of that changed was the car insurance. Could cancelled car insurance affect your credit?
""The most basic and cheapest insurance available, forget what it's called?""
There's a type of insurance for mostly minors or people who deal with used cars that are cheap etc, rarely driven, traded often, and it's called ______ I forget, and it only entitles you to be insured against law suits if the other person is injured. Real crappy insurance right? I'm starting to trade cars but some will need to be driven to shops and stuff like that. In my state MICHIGAN, you need to have insurance BEFORE you register, which sucks for me. For example, I am about to buy a piece of crap 500 dollar Chevy Cavalier and I need to most basic insurance, I just forget the term for this. I don't want to get a huge big policy for a car that will be driven probably less then 50 miles in it's time that I have it.""
3rd party comprehensive car insurance in bangalore?
I've a 1997 model maruti 800, just purchased from a seller, i got only the RC book, no insurance paid soo far, where do i make the insurance for this model car ? and what type of insurance is beneficial? am willing to sell the car after 10 months..? I called ICICILombard.. they refused as it is an old car. ???? Is there any logical reason behind an old car being refused for insurance??? what documents do i need to take care while insuring.. ???""
Driving license and auto insurance?
my boyfriend have no green card or paper work for USA but there something he can get driving license or auto insurance? somehting is cheaper?
Whats the cheapest car insurance for a young male?
Whats the cheapest car insurance for a young male?
Buying a home in south caroline?
Just wanted to know if Conway is near the Myrtle beach airport and how far it is from the beach. How much is real estate tax for a home for about 100,000 to 200,000? Are there any marina's close to Conway? Is there a city wage tax on income? How much is car insurance? We live in philadelphia and are tired of the area and the high cost of living. Thanks, Jeanete [email protected]""
In BC how much difference in insurance costs is it based on the cost of the?
vehicle? I'm not talking about liability but collision and comprehension. I'm buying a car that costs about 10,000.00 and I am used to driving crappy cars that cost $2000.00. I'm trying calculate the difference in insurance costs. Does anybody know?""
Age for car insurance?
I have heard that you cannot get your own car insurance policy untill you are 18. Is this true for new york state?
I was banned for drink driving does anyone know any cheap insurance companys?
before anyone says i know i was stupid but i was just over the limit, im looking at buying a nissan micra or something small and i wanted to know where to get the cheapest car insurance""
Insurance Car coverage?
My car got flooded bacuase of the Hurricane IKE in the houston area. The current market value of this car is 9k but I still owe 13500 and I do not have GAP insurance. I had an offer for this car three weeks before the hurricane for 12k. As we all know insurance will only pay what it worth now. What are my possibilities for having the insurance pay it off sice this was a natural disaster.
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
Rome Georgia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 30165
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/red-deer-car-insurance-quotes-dorothy-benitez/"
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Porns Sarah Palin Opens Up About Her Triumphant Return
She is one of the most popular porn stars in the worlda woman even more famous than many of the superstar athletes she dates.
Lisa Ann said goodbye to the adult entertainment industry several years ago, launching a successful career as the host of a fantasy sports program on SiriusXM. Even after she left, Ann continued to be one of the most-searched porn stars in the world.
Though most famous for her portrayal of former politician Sarah Palin in six XXX films, including the infamous Whos Nailin Paylin?, Ann is also well known for the company she keepsnamely, hot young athletes. Known for her tight lips, Ann rarely discusses her athlete hookups, but estimates to have had hundreds of professional athletes throughout her illustrious career. She prefers sleeping with NBA players, and isnt shy about dropping hintsor putting athletes on blast when they wont stop begging, like Canucks defenseman Michael Del Zotto.
And now, at 45, shes making her triumphant return to porn.
Most adult stars who succeed outside of the business dont come back, which makes Lisa Anns return to porn all the more intriguing. Reentering an industry known to prey on the young at middle age requires a confidence most 20-somethings lack. But Ann isnt just returning to pornshe wants to change it. By pushing back against the patriarchy and redefining what it means to be in the adult community, Anns determined to help other performers find success.
When I call Lisa Ann, its late afternoon. The phone rings and I leave a voicemail. Ten minutes later she calls back, explaining how the cable guy had been running late and just left. Unfortunately, the installation didnt go as planned and Ann would have to wait to be properly serviced. It sounded just like a classic porn scenario.
When I considered coming back to porn I realized that being committed to something I love without counting the dollar has made me a better person.
Lisa Ann
Hey, at least he wasnt creepy. Thats my biggest fear, is that someones going to be in my house and creepy, says Ann. I had an air conditioner installer take pictures of the inside of my house and then post them on social media. I was mortified. I stayed in my office while he did his job, I thought I was being trusting, and here he was taking pictures of my pictures with other people.
If the A/C installer had kept the pics to himself, Ann may have never known, but he blasted them on social media and linked her in his mentions. He wrote, I was just at the real Lisa Anns house, look. And there was a selfie of the guy next to my car and I was like, Oh my god, he was in my underground parking with my car!
Not that Anns complaining too much these days. If anything, shes surprisingly appreciative for someone whos achieved the kind of crossover success she has. We have so much freedom [in the adult industry]we choose when we work, we choose this unique lifestyle, and we are getting compensated more than other people working a lot harder than us. Theres a lot to be excited about.
And to the bitter, jaded performers in the industry, Ann offers the following advice: Get a regular job for ninety days, stick to the schedule youre given, only taking a lunch break when its scheduled. Then see how you feel about porn after ninety days at a regular job.
Though Ann now has a regular job as well, she doesnt think of it so much as work due to her passion for sports radio. Im an employee and I have a boss but I love what I do, she says. I want sports twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Im never late and Ive never canceled a show. I love being responsible and Im so grateful for it because I never knew Id have a gig like this.
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Returning to porn was as much a practical, financial decision for Ann as it was an opportunity to give back. Shes made it very clear that getting back into the adult entertainment industry will not impact her career in sports radio. People dont do sports radio for the money. Its something you do because you love it. When I considered coming back to porn I realized that being committed to something I love without counting the dollar has made me a better person. I am going to be continuing on with my two shows on Sirius, and that way I dont get lost in the sauce, in the gossip, and the drama of the business.
Ann did not initially plan to return to the industry, but began toying with the idea after being approached by several adult companies. One big company came to me and offered a decent amount of money to do some scenes. Im smarter now and thought, if someone is offering me this much money then obviously I must be worth more. These are the people that know the numbers. I read a book about making deals, and the first offer is normally a quarter of your worth, so you go up maybe 75 to 100 percent, then its negotiated back down and you meet in the middle around 50 percent. I was inspired by the idea but sat on it for 10 months. I wanted to be sure about wanting to come back.
Even after mulling it over for almost a year, Ann approached her comeback cautiously. Not knowing how shed feel about doing porn again, she wanted to test it out before going public. And she did. That alone is a powerful accomplishment. Then again, Ann has proven herself to be an expert secret-keeper. When I shot my first scene in December I told no one. I made everyone keep it off social media, and hired people who I knew could keep a secret. I honestly wanted to shoot it and hold on to it to see if I felt differently about myself afterwards.
Shes an experienced porn star who isnt sure how shell feel after doing a scene. While this may sound odd to some, when she explains how society essentially congratulated her for getting out of porn it begins to make sense. People have spoken to me almost like I was a better person because I wasnt in the adult business anymore, she says. They say things I know are meant to be a compliment but its an insult because what theyre saying is that they thought less of me at one time. I never felt better or different out of the business, but those conversations made me ask myself, how will I feel when I wake up after doing another scene?
youtube
A true entrepreneur, Ann sees value in todays porn market. Shes certain there is more money for performers to make in the adult business than ever before, which runs contrary to the popular belief that porns going broke. Im the first person to understand the reality of it. Sure, you cant just go to set, shoot scenes, and go home and expect to make the same amount of money you used to. The hustle is different, she explains. Now there are all these different avenues to make money. The moneys there and its tenfold, you just have to be on your game, you have to use your downtime wisely, get paid to text, get paid to post and do these things every day.
According to Ann, the money is there for producers and directors toospecially with how easy (and cheap) content is to produce these days. Its a no-brainer. Its so much easier to produce content now, you spend one day on set, come home upload your content, upload your model releases and in one day you have a fully-produced scene. Especially when you know what you need.
Taking a new approach, Ann wants to educate the new generation of performers, offering counsel and guidance for their careersincluding what lies beyond should they one day wish to shed their stage name. The saddest thing about this business is that all the success stories leave, she says. Anyone who gets their head up and feels great decides they no longer belong here, so its important that as a woman I bring that success back. I have an open-phone policy for anybody [in the industry]. Im teaching some of the other women how to use software so they can take one day a week away from social media. I think we should all detach one day a week for mental health.
Ann also wants to help fellow performers recognizeand capitalize ontheir true market value, which is something she believes agents are not incentivized to do. I want to help these women up their game at marketing, I want to empower them with knowledge and get them to understand they are a capital-building machine right now, says Ann. They can produce their own stuff at home on their cell phones and make money all day long. Agents want to to force them to go to set because agents only make money when the girls go to set. These women need to know they arent just a product; rather, they are young entrepreneurs, and they are now living in the Silicon Valley-era of porn.
Read more: https://www.thedailybeast.com/porns-sarah-palin-opens-up-about-her-triumphant-return
from Viral News HQ https://ift.tt/2KsE39g via Viral News HQ
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email to my teacher (warning alot of personal stuff)
Hey so, sorry to email you out of nowhere like this? But i feel like maybe im finally at a point where i can explain more thoroughly why im having trouble with school or just succeeding in general. I think its really important that i tell you some of this junk because theres a chance it might make the rest of the year easier for you and me.
I wanted to start off with apologizing for all the trouble ive caused you throughout the year with the annoying comments, disruptions and backtalk. And most of all the terrible ability i have with doing and turning in work.
This email is mostly to explain my situation and reasoning for acting/struggling the way i have been (not to annoy you or be sarcastic).
Alright so, if you havent noticed i struggle with some things and one of them i never really bring up is ptsd. I have been diagnosed and im hoping to enlighten you on my specific issues with it, (everything i mention will apply to me as to make it less confusing from here on)
I have a specific type of ptsd called Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma) This type of ptsd is different in that it results from repetitive, prolonged trauma. My causes for being diagnosed are specifically natural-detachment from my mother and physical/sexual abuse growing up and some other things im not going to mention.
My side effects from this are,
Attachment – "problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to other's emotional states, and lack of empathy"
This is strongly linked to my reactive attachment disorder and explains alot to why i am the way i am. Heres a link to a website http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-health-reactive-attachment-disorder#1 that explains a bit of what it is so that i do not have to make this already long email that much longer, i would also really appreciate it if you read even just a little.
I have an extreme lack of trust in others and am constantly doubting myself, there is not a second of the day where i dont think im a horrible person, i could be doing better, im disgusting to look at ect. The social isolation is a big problem for me, because im “this way” i feel that bothering others with my presence/problems/medical difficulties ect. is not necessary and for the better. Hence why i refrain from asking when i really need help, im scared to bother you. I dont want to make you angry and i know you and mrs mumford are already so stressed by the time my bell starts.
Biology – "sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems"
This ties into my Fibromyalgia and eds which ill explain more about after i go through ptsd. Its all kind of one big mixed bag of disorders that tie together and make me the way i am.
Affect or emotional regulation – "poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes"
Like i talked about before i feel extremely useless and annoying when asking for help or even talking about the things i enjoy. And when trying to explain my difficulties i stop midsentence or forget words/forget what my problem is and it becomes frustrating.
Dissociation – "amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events"
THIS is what i blame for never being able to remember anything. With fibromyalgia i have whats called “brain fog” and with the constant dream like state im in because of dissociation it makes my memory absolutely terrible. Remembering your names in class took me until almost 3rd quarter and it was utterly embarrassing(i still forget sometimes), its even more embarrassing when i forget basic buttons on the calculator and have to ask in front of everyone looking like an idiot.Or when i try to shout out an answer in class and it comes out gibberish because my mind is everywhere all at once, Or when we have a test on the formula we learned a week ago, and of course my mind draws a blank. I cant remember, and it makes me so frustrated with myself that i want to break down right there in class. It renders me doing weird things too, like the other day i put the icecream in the bread drawer, and on sunday i woke up and got ready for school. Theres alot of other things i could say but its as if fibro is laughing in my face.
Dissociation in my own words is feeling like nothing is real, things dont feel like they happened. What does feel real is the pain/feeling in my body, i am a very anxious and jumpy person so im very sensitive to loud sounds/touch/weather and certain (triggering) talk among students. And yet i still feel in a daze,My vision will sometimes blur and i am very prone to falling/accidents, staying focused can be extremely frustrating because my brain feels like a cloud, its almost uncontrollable like a dream. I dont think anyone can control those very much so i think its a good example.
Behavioural control – "problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems"
Im pretty okay with impulses, i of course have alot of very impulsive thoughts but i am good at controlling them id say, same with aggression but i very much so struggle with sleep problems because of nightmares from ptsd and chronic pain from fibro, i have not been diagnosed with insomnia but im sure i fit the criteria im just really bad at opening up with doctors/people ect.
These are just a couple more symptoms to help explain,
Cognition – "difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of "executive functions" such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with "cause-effect" thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities."
Self-concept – "fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self".
Alterations in relations with others, including isolation and withdrawal, persistent distrust, a repeated search for a rescuer, disruption in intimate relationships and repeated failures of self-protection.
Loss of, or changes in, one's system of meanings, which may include a loss of sustaining faith or a sense of hopelessness and despair.
Variations in consciousness, including forgetting traumatic events (i.e., psychogenic amnesia), reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation), or having episodes of dissociation.
Changes in self-perception, such as a chronic and pervasive sense of helplessness, paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt, self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings
Now that im done explaining the ptsd, Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disorder that my doctor believes to be linked to my other disorders, Fibromyalgia has to do with the senses we as humans all have, feeling, hearing, taste, and sight. The difference between someone with fibro and an average healthy person is lets say theres a knob for how strong each of these senses are, so imagine someone taking all those knobs and turning them all the way up to max sensitivity. Youd think oh cool youre like a super hero (like my sister likes to say) but no its the exact opposite, it does not benefit me whatsoever. Feeling, paired with ehlers danlos syndrome both my joints and my muscles are constantly in pain and some days ill have what you call a “flare up” which is where getting out of bed usually isnt an option for my body, i cannot remember the last time i didnt feel at least a dull ache in my head, i get migraines at least once everyday and unfortunately i get nauseous so i dont eat very much . Almost everything is irritating to my skin, a simple light rub of my finger on the top of my forearm is irritating and raw feeling (like ive been sitting there rubbing the same spot for hours) /Writing is over all painful, including typing as well/
If youve ever woken up in the morning with sore muscles from pushing yourself too hard the day before,that is how the muscles in my body feel, if you press on them they ache, and sting/burn when i use them. painful touch for most of my body paired with constant anxiety of getting bumped into/touched is stressful and tiring. On a good day my pain scale is a 5 from 1-10 but thats if im really lucky.
Then theres the weather, if im too hot and i start to sweat, the sweat stings my skin and i end up going into a frenzy of scratching and agony. If its too cold my joints will start to lock up and become painful, its like they freeze and when i move them it feels like im shattering ice in my hand mixed with dull muscle ache. If its a good temperature theres still the feeling and i swear, the sound i can hear of my joints grinding together like two pieces of rubber being rubbed against eachother slowly.
Hearing is also bad, loud sounds are very irritating to my ears and will cause my migraine to get worse.(Talking too loud)Other irritating sounds, paper rubbing against paper roughly making that blblblb sound, high pitched noises of any loudness, squeaks, repetitive beeps ect.
Sight wise turning on lights abruptly is painful and makes my migraine worse, any bright light in general.
Taste doesnt really matter so i wont mention, but because these knobs are turned full blast it means the nerves and pain receptors in my body are being over worked constantly by my brain
And my brain thinks its doing its job by constantly acting like ive been running triathalons.
The recollection of pain comes in avalanches of distress for me. I usually experience the intense turmoil of fibromyalgia in the winter, or whenever cold fronts shatter the air and its frail victims. My limbs cannot contain the strength possible to function during those cold spells. Fibromyalgia’s lengthy sentence comes and goes for some, but, as a teenager, it’s disheartening. For the rest of my life, I will never be able to remember living without every waking moment marked by pain.
The abnormality of fibro weighs on my shoulders when I’m asleep, awake, or anywhere inbetween. I wake up at 4:30 each morning in order to be shuffling around by 6:20 a.m. The heaviness of my body pulls me down and pains me as I take a shower, put on my clothes, and put my small backpack on my shoulder to head out to school. Any sense of touch creates extreme levels of pain for me. Touching my arm, poking my leg, and brushing against my back hurt as much as twisting my ankle. My distraught reaction is a lot like a dog crying in pain and distrust after you accidentally step on its paw. Because im always in pain im always right next to the emotional breaking point, im always on the verge of tears. The smallest things can make me break down.
The pain prohibits me from being a teenager. Thanks to fibro, I cannot dress up in my favorite clothes and be what you call “Extra” everyday as i so much wish to be during the winter. My hands are crooked and shake too much usually to apply makeup. I struggle with applying eyeliner, because my hands hurt too much wrapped around a brush. The uncomfortable school chairs make me weep when I return home, because they destroy my concentration, forcing me to focus on the overwhelming pain I feel. I used to excel in school, but now, I can barely think fast enough, and come off as ditzy. I feel like I’m constantly struggling to maintain the fragments of my intelligence I lost due to fibro medication and fibromyalgia itself.
My GPA, became my ball and chain in school, rather than an accomplishment worth sharing. During the year, my schedule is dictated by the weather. Cold weather causes agonizing, excruciating pain that races down my spine and branches through my limbs. If a cold front passes, rain falls, snow falls, or temperatures drop, I freeze like the Tin Man, except there isn’t any oil to move my joints. The way I get sleep should be considered a torture method. Many people feel refreshed or renewed when they wake up after 8 hours, but I feel completely restless and exhausted. And thats if the nightmares from the PTSD dont interrupt. I toss and turn for hours in pain, because the pain signals interrupt the sleep cycle. I cry intensely whenever I think of sleep; school usually means a lack of sleep, but I am further deprived without choice. My biological system cannot allow me to rest, and continues to tense my muscles in a constant state of flight or fight.
With most schools starting at 8 a.m., my body struggles to run on 8 hours of sleep (which really feels like two). The exhaustion prevents me from hanging out with some of my closest friends. In the early stages of having fibromyalgia, I used to be able to do school clubs, hang out with my best friend, and go to cons with my friends often. Now, I spend my time huddled down, trying to make up for the nights of lost sleep. The lack of sleep and the endless pain contribute to extreme depression. And to keep my mood relatively happy i act like a goose in school with friends which doesnt do me good with teachers, I do it to not break down and let myself get too low around others because i know id regret embarrassing myself like that more than anything. The pain yearns for my thoughts to leap toward suicidal thoughts, and I was obsessed with death for years and still am. There was a time when I searched for ways to end my life, because nobody could help me and I couldn’t face living the rest of my life knowing that I’ll always be in pain. I still have these thoughts, and I believe I always will as long as I emit pain. Hence why i was in the hospital for a week recently, the hopelessness and embarrassment is dragging me down. The whole idea of having fibromyalgia embarrasses me. I’m embarrassed that I am constantly being called crippled, disabled, or chronically ill.Or worse not being noticed at all while struggling. I’m embarrassed that fibromyalgia makes me feel like I’m 67 instead of 16. I’m embarrassed that I will never be able to be an artsy beat poet like Patti Smith, or a rock ‘n’ roll guitarist like Keith Richards.
So i think thats as much as i can cover for you right now with my two of my biggest problems , im extremely exhausted and im not joking when i say my fingers feel like they are gonna fall off haha.
Im terribly sorry for how long this email is but i think i got most everything with these two topics in there, also dont feel obliged to reply to this, im already embarrassed i even wrote all this down (terribly).
Quick thing i would like to say before i end the email, with all respect i am not looking for sympathy in any way. I am simply stating the way i am in hopes that if you understand itll make things less stressful for me and you. So dont feel like you have to do anything for me.
Thankyou for reading if you got this far, really. (btw forwarding this to Mrs. m******d is totally okay with me)
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