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rozcdust · 3 years ago

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She’s so mean

Pairing: Kokonoi Hajime x f!reader

Genre: Crack, SMAU, this chapter is angst

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, domestic abuse, violence, attempted murder, murder, implied grooming, large age gap relationship, toxic relationship, attempted drowning, the reader is tired and a bitch

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE READ THE WARNINGS. THIS CHAPTER IS JUST Y/N’S BACKSTORY AND SKIPPING IT WILL NOT AFFECT THE REST OF YOUR READING EXPERIENCE TOO MUCH

pt. 1 | previous | pt. 20 | next

“This is fucked up.” Ran let out a frustrated sigh, slamming the police and medical records on the table in front of him.

Kakucho nodded, frowning as he flipped through the crime scene photos, stopping at one that depicted a sink filled with red, murky water.

There were some of the body, some of the scene, some of your face, and even if Kakucho saw that same blank, dead look thousands of times, something about your usually annoyed, tired face being so empty unnerved him.

He sighed as he opened his laptop, digging out a USB stick from his pocket.

“What’s that?” Ran perked up, getting up from his seat to glance over Kakucho’s shoulder.

“Footage. They had video surveillance in the apartment.” Kakucho clicked on the file, waiting for it to load.

“Ohhhh!” Without a thought, Ran pushed Kakucho’s chair back, plopping himself in Kakucho’s lap.

Before Kakucho could push him off, the file opened, and a video started playing.

Holding the forward button, Ran waited until the dim screen showed something other than an empty kitchen.

He let go when you walked on screen, placing groceries on the kitchen counter.

“When was this?” Ran questioned Kakucho, noticing the slight baby fat still sticking to your cheeks.

“2015. She’s 19 here.”

Ran forwarded the video, not too interested in watching you put away groceries and clean the kitchen.

A man walked in on screen just as you were done cleaning the sink, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your cheek, moving away from you to grab something from the fridge.

There was no audio, but Ran could swear he saw you tense up at the man’s touch, face twisting for just a second.

“Zankoku Karo. 31 years old here, son of an oil tycoon, inherited the business.”

“This fucker was 31 dating a 19 year old?”

“By the court records, they started dating when she was 17.”

Ran felt disgusted.

The man was washing his hands in the sink, seemingly listening to you talk intensely.

His face suddenly twisted, the tap still running as he turned towards you, and even if Ran couldn’t see his face, he could tell he was yelling.

You started yelling too, backing away, but Zankoku followed, grabbing you to keep you in place.

Ran watched as you tried to wrestle out of Zankoku’s grasp, flinching when a slap landed on your cheek.

Ran almost cheered when you returned the favour, until Zankoku grabbed you, throwing you to the ground, and Ran flinched as your head hit the corner of the kitchen island, blood starting to drip down the side of your face.

Your foot met Zankoku’s shin as you tried to back away, desperate to get on your feet, your back hitting the kitchen element preventing you from doing so.

Ran had to pause when you were lifted from the floor by the hair, Zankoku’s hand wrapping around the back of your neck as he pushed your head in the now overflowing sink.

Taking a couple of minutes, Ran nodded at Kakucho to continue when he was ready.

The video resumed just as you started thrashing around, your hands desperately scratching at your own neck, trying to get Zankoku to let go.

Ran could feel Kakucho tense under him when the bubbles stopped, and you went limp.

He knew you were alive, you had to be, but the lack of movement made him nervous.

As Zankoku loosened his grip on you, you suddenly jerked up up, managing to get your head out of the sink, pushing him off.

He stumbled, falling, the back of his head hitting the island corner on the way down.

You didn’t move for a few seconds, your eyes wide and focused on the man now bleeding out on the floor.

Ran didn’t know what you were saying before tears started streaming down your face and you slid down on the floor, but he could assume it was Zankoku’s name.

You held your head in your hands, ignoring the still running sink above you drenching your clothes, not moving even when blood coming out of Zankoku’s head reached your feet.

Still sobbing, you crawled up to the body, digging through his pockets to find a phone, backing away into the corned as soon as you did.

Your phone call didn’t last long, and Ran knew it was over when you allowed the phone to drop to the floor, rocking back and forth as you let out a scream.

Kakucho was certain the sight of your face twisted into a silent scream, blood and tears mixing with the water will haunt him forever.

Your body suddenly stilled, face turning blank, and you didn’t move a muscle as you started speaking, and even if Ran couldn’t hear the tape, he could read the phase off of your lips.

‘I’m sorry.’ repeated like a prayer, over and over again.

Kakucho forwarded the tape 20 minutes, letting it play again when a dark-haired man with long hair came into the frame, his eyes wide and panicked.

“Who’s that?”

“Her brother, Baji Keisuke.”

“He looks familiar.”

“He was in Toman with Mikey.”

“Oh, I remember him, he almost died in the Bloody Halloween incident. I was there with Rin.”

Kakucho nodded, observing as Baji pulled his phone out, presumably calling the police.

Keisuke approached you, walking over the body, pulling you to your feet out of the kitchen corner.

You slumped into the his touch as he held you, rocking you back and forth softly like a child, ignoring the fact you were soaking his clothes with blood and water.

The tape ended when a policeman appeared in the frame, pointing his gun towards you.

Ran and Kakucho stared at the black screen for a few minutes, neither of them moving a muscle.

“That poor girl…” Kakucho murmured, closing his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“What do we do?” Ran asked, getting off Kakucho to sit back in his chair, cursing himself when his fingers shook too much to light up a cigarette.

“What do you mean ‘What do we do’? We don’t do shit.”

“Shouldn’t we tell Koko?”

Ran flinched when Kakucho got up from his chair, his hands slamming on his desk as he got into Ran’s face.

“Fucking listen to me. We, don’t have a right to do shit. It’s y/n’s to tell Koko, if she so chooses. For fuck’s sake Ran, they’ve known each other for what, two months, went on one date? Fucking think.”

Ran let out a shaky breath, burying his face into his hands.

“Listen, I know you’ve grown fond of her, she’s a good kid, but we shouldn’t do anything.” Kakucho’s tone softened.

“Kaku, she fucking slammed me on the floor because my fingers brushed against her neck, she looked like a wild animal, what if Koko does something unknowingly and she seriously hurts him?”

“Ran, respectfully, you triggered her, and she only threw you off herself, which props to her for only doing that, if I were in her shoes I would probably bash your face in, and she even was apologetic about it.”

Ran nodded, frowning as he stared at the back of the laptop.

“She was 19.”

Kakucho sympathetically nodded.

“If Koko and her end up together, and I’m sure they will because their date went great, she will never be in that situation again. Koko would never hurt her.”

Ran looked at Kakucho quizzically.

“How do you know it went great?”

“He told me.”

“Oh, did he now?” Ran’s tone was suspicious.

“…I read his diary.”

Taglist (open):

@1818cigarettes @babu-haitani @dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @lagrimasdeglitter @kisekihany @missarabellla @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @hana-patata @bontenacious @crybabylisa @spookydraken @rorobaijifuyu @yukihime-mikeys-girl @toobsessedsstuff @sammcaav222 @emilywaters @agoddess-inashell @levistiddies @t04dxm @qualitygiantshoepsychic @chilledraft @bontensbabygirl @brokencoinlocker @somniari-94 @yujibhabie @inumaki-s-onigiri @wakasagurl @sup-zfam @nqctre @chronic-claire-universe @rozewayne2005 @bxnten @graythecoffeebean @hanmascult @sanzuswh0re @yuushs @little-crow @halcyondaisy @st4rryhae @gvancagamer @passionateuchiha @haikyuu-simps-assemble @hecatve @notsodeadgirlwalking @royal-shinigami @marrymemanjiro @frogtits1 @k-y0sh1

a/n: i love 😩 angst 😮‍💨 also tumblr won’t let me edit posts or reply sometimes so i’ll just add a ssm series tag on all posts to make finding parts easier 🤧

#tokyorev #tokyo revengers #kokonoi hajime x reader #kokonoi hajime x y/n #bonten #kokonoi hajime #manjiro sano #sanzu haruchiyo #kakucho hitto #ran haitani #rindou haitani #akashi haruchiyo #baji keisuke #ssm series

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deviships · 8 months ago

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Why did they have to make my boy so pretty in this scene 😭😭😭

It's a well-known fact by now that I go absolutely bonkers for hatless Pentious but hhhhhh his face also!! I'd say he gets the most variation in how he's drawn (which is to say he goes off-model A LOT for comedic effect) and this right here might just be my favorite.

One good thing to have come out of the Che//rrisnake plotline is that Pentious highkey got a glowup from it sbdbdbd but no, really, I am being legit. They did start drawing him prettier from episode 6 onwards.

Well if love makes this motherfucker more beautiful I'm about to make him reeeeal handsome

#sir pentious #hazbin selfship #canon f/o footage

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deviships · 4 years ago

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Shh…he sleepin’

#HE'S SLEEPING OH MY GOD #canon f/o footage #train husband 🚂

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thegreenerartist · 4 years ago

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Okay okay guys wait

Just I M A G I N E

The Foxhole Court,,, but set in the Philippines (they’ll all still be the same characters but it’ll just take place in the Philippines!)

The Filipino & Filipina Foxes!

Okay so Neil is still on the run, with 5 mil ($) in his pocket, but think about it. There are 7,641 islands. 7,641. His father would have absolute HELL trying to find him and his mother (until she died oop) (probably somewhere where they are trying to sneak into Luzon?) So then Nathan will be stationed, not in Baltimore, but maybe somewhere in Luzon (it being the central island and all)

Neil would know how to speak English (universal language duh), Tagalog (common Filipino language) and maybe Ilongo? Or Ilocano? For Luzon, but then he’ll probably know the common languages too, like Bisaya and Cebuano for Visayas, maybe he’ll know Arabic or Islamic for Mindanao? (I highlighted the ones I think he would most likely know, but most Filipino langauges tbh sound similar. Takes maybe a few months, weeks if you’re good, to learn a language like a native)

So idk how to segúé (how to even spell??) to him meeting the Foxes bUT HE GETS THERE

Soo let’s say the Cousins (yes thats their official tital no I don’t take critisism) know how to speak Arabic while Kevin is the one who speaks Bisaya. Everyone can speak English and Tagalog because Filipinos are taught English and Tagalog early on oop

Okay fine this will still be an Exy universe (but can yall imagine? Street basketball?)

They’ll probably be learning somewhere in Luzon, most likely NCR for plot because it’s probably where Nathan and his men are too

They meet and stuff, cool shenanigans

(Their backstories might be a tad rougher than in canon because,,, yeah. It happens here)

Okay so I just wanna get to the fun stuff, since that’s what I originally planned for this post

Nicky and Allison will deffo be like those ladies who wash clothes and gossip, i.e. spreading chismis

Nicky reminds me of the gays here that go “oH HEY MGA BES!”

Andrew is THAT dude who goes up to an ice cream guy and asks for, “Cornetto. The sweetest one you have”

He wouldnt like dirty ice cream. It’s too bland and milky, not sweet

Neil would fit right in. Everyone here wears shirts and pants/shorts. Some guys dont even bother putting a shirt on

Dan and Neil go bonding to the palengke (wet market) since most of the other foxes have been raised in middle class

Matt buys those birds in the cages so he can set them free like the good boy he is :)

Renee is a BOSS in chinese garter

Allison was the heir to,, idk probably something like SM or something

Aaron is every asian parents’ dream tbh

Also I love the idea of them getting houses since Filipino houses here look basic as heck but look SO authentic, as in yall could go, “wow that looks like a normal house” but then,,, yall would know. That’s a Filipino’s house right there

Everyone get’s THOSE houses where there are literal bars on the windows and the fence is so goddamn tall

Except for Kevin and Allison

Those two would get the classy stuff

Like Allison would probably be living in those houses that were during the Spanish Colonial Period (with Renee because duh)

Kevin will get a private resort or something somewhere in Boracay or Palawan or something (with no one because I fully support aro ace Kevin [ but bi Kevin is awesome too though don’t get me wrong {sorry Thea}])

I would love to propose the idea of Neil calling Andrew ‘mahal’ or ‘love’(THEY ARE MARRIED HERE LET ME LIVE) (ILL JUST SAY THEY GOT MARRIED IN THE US OKAY)

In the morning, when they wake up and Neil goes, “m’hal, pakibukas ung bintana” “love, can you open the blinds?”

(Fun fact, the prefix paki is a polite way of asking someone to do the action, the same way you say ‘may’, ‘can’ and ‘please’)

But then ‘mahal’ ALSO means ‘expensive’ in Tagalog. I find it funny because Andrew is truly, very, absolutely expensive

“My god napakamahal naman yan’ Drew’!”

“Oh my god Drew’, that’s so expensive!”

“mAy stAnDArdS akO excUSE Me!!11!”

“I have standards excuse me!”

“M A H A L ‘W A G”

“L O V E , N O”

I love the idea that they play basketball in their free time with neighbourhood kids, as in street basketball

It starts with Andrew and Neil

They were outside, holding hands (it’s ok Philippines isn’t SUPER homophobic) (and even if someone was stupid enough to talk them down, they have knives :)

And these,,, kids go up and be like, “laro?” “play?”

Because kids right?

And BOOM it becomes a thing (usually on their breaks :)

Renee joins because Peace Corps (actually no. She did it out of the kindness of her own heart)

Then Dan, Matt and Nicky wanted to join

Allison was dragged there by Renee

Katelyn wanted Aaron to come too

Kevin decided to go since it’s the off-season and he has nothing to do, yaba daba da he actually misses his foxes

He keeps mumbling, “buti pa kapag nilaro nila an Exy *grumble grumble*” “it would be better if the played Exy instead *grumble grumble*”

They are happy :D

Okay so yall know how Kevin is a health freak

So one day Andrew will eat one too many goSH DARN AICE AND KEVIN WILL HAVE A F I T

Andrew doesn’t care

Until he does

Kevin can go on and on about how unhealthy some foods are and blah blah blah

But yall cANNOT TELL ME that that boy does NOT eat those streetfoods

Im talking about fishballs, squidballs, siomai, tokneneng, ALL OF THAT JAZZ

(That’s what happens when yall let a person who never played in the neighbourhood try streetfood) (they get OBSESSED) (I can tell from experience lol)

Then Andrew keeps that footage for blackmail

Just imagine. Kevin Day. Eating. The oiliest. The most unhealthy. Goddamn streetfood

I’ll probably make more :P it was fun to write this!

I would love it if this were liked and reblogged 🥺👉👈 I would appreciate that very much because I spent some time on this and I need validation 🥺🥺

#aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg headcanon #tfc headcanon #dan wilds #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #aaron minyard #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick #renee walker #neil josten #akin #andreil #renison #aftg philippines

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lucarioisinthevoid · 4 years ago

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(Random drabble I decided to write! Have it as an apology for how little I’m created. Just some backstory stuff that is canon to my Henry- and inspired by another story. If you actually know where this comes from, you’ll get something from me and also we can both sit in shame.) ---- The first and only time Henry Miller broke the law ---

The boy was sitting in the room over. They left him alone to stew a little- and to review the footage, to be sure about what happened. The cameras they had put up were brand new and not all that obvious, cameras in general were still unreliable, cutting in and out at seemingly random intervals. Newest tech indeed. Though it was still amazing what it could do and see, even on grainy, black-and-white footage. The owner, Frank, was glancing at the door, not quite believing what his staff was telling him. Henry Miller, honest to god Henry Miller, who was always eager to help out, who treated everyone with amazement and enthusiasm, no matter what they did and how they acted in return- They caught him steal. Casually stuffing his pockets here and there. It just didn’t seem to make sense- they knew this boy. When he was younger, he every now and again got a few bonbons from Frank, as he was wandering the store, bugging the staff before his mother quickly came to pick him up, always apologizing, but never being a problem. Hell, he sometimes helped out, insisting it was only because he wanted to, never accepting any sort of pay for his efforts. It’s fun! That was always what he said and Frank envied and admired his ability to see pleasure in everything. Even in things as stocking shelves or mopping some floors. His innocence was magnificent. Was. Seeing how Henry had just been walking around, lining his pockets- Now they didn’t find anything in his pockets, he must have gotten rid of it between then and now. He sighed. Maybe it was just that age, where children turned into teenagers and did stupid things. He would go in, hear his apology, give him a stern talking to and then let him go again. After all, he was such a good boy. No needs to get any police involved, only his parents had been informed and they were on their way to come and pick him up. Quietly Frank sighed to himself again. Such a shame, but it was something every growing person had to go through. As he opened the door, his eyes fell on Henry who was crying, pressing his hands against his eyes, rubbing, hysterically breathing, broken by hiccups. Oh, he was in for one hell of an apology. He had to hide a small smile- after all Henry had only been trying to steal candy. A lot of it, but it wasn’t the end of the world! Yet here he sat, all shaken up. Poor boy probably considered himself a devil now- after his first time acting out. Well, he would set him straight gently. Sitting down across from him, he looked at the boy, calmly speaking up. “One of our stores employees said he saw you steal quite a bit of candy. What do you have to say for yourself?” Leaning back, he got ready to tell the kid it was okay, that it was- “I- I didn’t do-o it!” Instantly, Frank froze, something cold climbing up his neck as he looked at Henry again. Henry who was looking up at him with pure DESPERATION in his eyes, shaking to his core at the accusation. “Sir, I- I don’t know why he- he would say that- but- I’m-“ Once more a flood of tears burst out of him. “I was j-just looking for my f-friend- I just- I wanted to- and then he GRABBED me- h-he told me I- I would get i-into a TON of t-trouble-“ Frank just stared, transfixed on the scene, slowly nodding. “S-said he A-ALWAYS knew I- I was a troublemaker- and- and I was SCARED-“ Breaking off, he desperately tried to take a deep breath, failing miserably, accidentally swallowing on his hiccups, leading to a coughing fit. He looked MISERABLE. “A-and I- I asked wh-what I DID- and- he- he said NOTHING, ‘you d-did NOTHING, b-but I’m telling Frank- I’m telling h-him you tried t-to steal!’ H-he said ‘I- I’m telling Frank that- that you’re a little R-RAT!’” The employee was a new hire. Someone who didn’t know Henry very well, not like a good amount of the other employees. Was this planned? Henry continued, sincerity oozing from his words, drenched in hurt pride and pain. “A-and I said- ‘No- no way he’ll believe you! H-he knows me!’ a-and that was when th-the guy gr-grabbed me even TIGHTER- so my wrist w-went all red-“ He showed off his red wrist- unmistakable fingers marks, with the place where nails dug in clearly visible, still red. “H-he grabbed me a-and said ‘wanna bet?! Wanna bet?!’ a-and that was when he dragged me h-here and threw me i-in! Then h-he locked the door- I swear! I- I swear I didn’t do anything! I- I don’t know what I did w-wrong! I didn’t take ANYTHING! Y-you can check m-my bag again-” It was unbelievable. Unbelievable in that he would have believed Henry under any other circumstance. He was too young to lie like this. Digging his nails into his own face, as he kept weeping and weeping, shaking his head while hiding his face. “I- I just don’t w-want you to b-be angry with me, s-sir! I swear, I swear, I- I would never do that! P-please, I don’t kn-know WHY he was s-so ANGRY- but- I just- I was just c-coming in to see i-if-“ Frank forced himself to take a deep beath and play along. “Please Henry, calm down. When did he ask you to come with him?” “J-Just when- when I was about to leave- it scared me so b-bad- I th-though I accidentally br-broke something or-” “What did you say he said you did?” “Th-that I- that I stole s-something!” “What exactly?” “I DON’T KNOW!” The boy howled in agony. “I- I DIDN’T- I’M SORRY, I D-DIDN’T TOUCH ANYTHING- PL-PLEASE BELIEVE ME!” For a moment Frank looked at him, feeling numb, his lips and fingers as though something had sapped all energy out of him. With a dry tongue he got out the words. “… Henry. We have you on the new security cameras. I know you tried stealing.” It was like a flip was switched- All of a sudden, silence. It looked like something fell out of Henry’s face, all life, all energy, all expression. Blankly he stared up at the adult in the room. The tears quenched, already staining into thin lines. Only ever so slightly a frown formed. And then he opened his mouth, his words almost unrecognizable. “Then why were you wasting my time just now?” - Years had come and gone. Frank was still managing his little store, though he considered finally finding someone who would be good to take over his place. For now though, he was doing fine, a bit of coffee in the morning, that he drank while reading the newspaper. One day though he almost started coughing when his eyes fell on something- A death announcement. Mr. & Mrs. Miller. In loving memory… tragic passing during a terrible catastrophe nobody could have predicted… announcing the funeral during… at… Slowly he put down the paper and checked the calendar. When he arrived at the graveyard during the ceremony, he carried the flowers, planning to put them on the grave after everything else had passed. But what he most wanted to see, needed to see- Henry stood amidst the group of mourning adults. Pressing his knuckles against his eyes. Shaking in his despair. Digging his nails into his head as he shook his head, hiding his face. Weeping in all the right ways. Frank felt sick to the stomach, his hands balling into fists, as he remembered, the poor guy was barely eighteen and lost his parents to a fire, to a malfunction, it had to have been a traumatic accident- He was shaking, goosebumps crawling up his arms, despite it being a wonderful summer day. And then, for a second- Henry’s eyes met his own. And there was nothing inside, no expression on the face, the tear stains utterly out of place, almost like drawn on. Abruptly Frank turned to the grave he was next to, kneeling down, pretending to pay his respect to the stranger resting in the ground beneath him. He prayed, yes he prayed for a moment or two, in front of the grave of a family he didn’t know, who’s names were in no way affiliated with his own- Placing the flowers onto the earth in front of him, he turned to walk away, his hands shaking. Still praying. Horrible accidents happened all the time. This tragedy messed with anyone who heard about it.

#henry miller #honestly I'm just happy about an excuse to write his childhood #Because it's such fun #He was such a feral monster #But liked by basically everyone for his sunshine-self #He watched his back- Ethan never found ANYTHING he could accuse him to be a psychopath over #That would have made things easier #To justify watching him at least among his close friends #oh well- he never asked in the right places #too bad~

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deviships · 4 years ago

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MY BOY 😭😭😭😭

Hayden playing Plato must have rubbed off on him 😂

You can't hear me but I'm literally crying 🥺

Credits: yolee7272 on IG

Apparently Thomas Inge (Plato/Admetus) does this little 3 tap thing every single time and now Carbucketty (Taylor Scanlan) and even Skimble himself (Hayden Baum) they do it too! I'M CRYING

#canon f/o footage #train husband 🚂

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koushirouizumi · 4 months ago

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vimeo

{YU-GI-OH!} Duel Monsters ~ @.M.V ~ Y U U G I & {Ace-implied!}Y A M I (Atem) [reading in {+A R O!}-Ace!Yami is also Fine] {Just please respect my own head-canons too!} ~ "Bring Me To L i f e"

Summary: "I've been S L E E P I N G a T H O U S A N D Years it S E E M S-- -GOT TO O P E N M Y E Y E S to E V E R Y T H I N G..." Music © E.v.a.n.e.s.e.n.c.e/Amy L e e; also (C) L.i.n.k.i.n P.a.r.k (B.G. Vocal Only) {This was made before the re-release of this song without them.} Spoiler Info: - Leads up to mid-beginning of End of “DOMA” Arc {Anime-Only sequences; not included in original manga} - {Mainly} D.M. Only Eps

*Any Lip-sync'ng was unintentional {+Any similar Might be removed in any future remake}

Y U-G I-O H! © Kazuki Takahashi Yu-gi-oh! Duel Monsters {Show} © Studio Gallop This is a FAN-WORK. No $$$ is being made off this work.

{A.M.V. by (Young) Me} {DO NOT RE-POST} {DO NOT COPY} {DO NOT RE-PRODUCE MY WORKS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION}

(Note: This is an OLD work {10+ yrs old}. and one of my 1st/oldest YGO DM AMVs of the timeframe. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding.) [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!]

Note: -This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when Tumblr and/or Vimeo is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching the Direct link here!

{I am NOT taking new AMV Requests (+for this series) at this time. Please DO NOT Ask!}

#koushirouizumi ygo #koushirouizumi dm #koushirouizumi y+y #koushirouizumi own #koushirouizumi old dm #ygo: dm #yūgi mutou #yami yūgi #yūgi and yami #ace yami #demi yuugi #dm spoilers #(aaaND ONE OF THE OTHER {O L D E S T} ONES...)#({OK BUT})#({HI I STILL REALLY L O V E SOME t IMINGS HERE TOO---})#(Basically Yami is VERY RE-PRESSED A c e)#(Y u u g i is DEF Picking Up On That)#(in the end bc they s HARE A BODY MOST OF t IME YKNOW--)#({Yeah this is actually intended semi c ANONTM Compliant Too---})#(Eventually the back-ground Wisshhip comes in and Yami grows to be Supportive of them while {Y u u g i} realizes+accepts that Yami is Ace)#(Yami meanwhile ALSO OCCUPIES Same Body for Most of 'c ANONTM' so whatever Y U U G I feels for Jou YAMI FEELS IT T O O--- {In My Stuff})#({At some point I usually have things split off into A.U & then yEA THINGS MIGHT d IVERGE FROM THERE} {i.e. 'A t e m Lives'} BUT WELL SEE})#(This arc was super interestin to me Back then tho BC they ARE SEPARATE here for MOST OF These Sequences)#({so for once YAMI was seein Y U U G I from an O U T S I D E V I E W})#({thus YAMI Recognizes Y U U GI Cares abt Yami but YAMI k NOWS IN YAMIs h EART what YAMI is feelin TOO---})#({AND Y U U G I REALIZES TOO Its Basically Whole Point of This One})#the a u t h o r may have passed but in t HIS h OUSE we let them be q UEER #(I STILL NEED TO GET IT ONTO A.0.3 TOO AAAAAAA)#(ITS ONE OF THE ACTUAL o LDEST ONES aaaAAAAA {Yea im Back-dating this one}--- {will probs be on the 1st p AGES OF WHOLE SECTION---})#({b ASICALLY the J x Y ver. was 1st I think then bc I couldnt fit in all of Yami I tried one for just Their dynamic})

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rosaguard · 4 years ago

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summer waxes poetically about her favorite aeris gainsborough ships:

i never reblogged that five ships meme because...well i don’t have five aeris ships i care about lol. however, i was challenged(tm) so here is something close to it. i do feel like it is fitting to make this post on here since aeris was actually the first muse i truly started writing a ship on after asking someone first ( and i had been writing on tumblr for like...5 years on and off before that for context. anything before that was just..maybe flirting - nothing i felt invested in ).

aeris & happiness.

the most important ship. the OTP. no other can compare. i think the biggest tragedy of aeris’ death is that so much was taken from her. she had so much to live for, so much to do, and her life was brutally and suddenly ripped away when she was finally getting the chance to figure herself out and rise to her full potential. i don’t want to aeris to die in the remake ( especially because everything about the whispers would’ve felt like a waste of time if nothing significant changes and aeris living is probably as significant as you can get ) but if it happens, it happens - i’ll just be really sad and disappointed by it lol. i’ve always been very clear that aeris’ death is not a bad one despite my blog canon essentially retconning it. there’s a reason she dies and it’s not to further cloud’s man pain ( he had enough of his own trauma already ); she dies because she’s a legitimate threat to sephiroth’s plans. she’s actually an example of a character death, especially a female one, done incredibly well, especially compared to SE’s recent output ( serah, luna, etc. ). also anyone who says she was created just to die is also wrong. barret was originally written to die first and they decided to change it.

anyway, the point of me bringing all of this up is that i didn’t decide to do away with her death because i think SE sucks and they hate women. i did away with it because a lot of aeris’ character development ( her learning about the cetra at cosmo canyon, figuring out what the white materia does, etc ) is implied / off-screen since we never know her point of view and then well...she dies. i wanted to explore what her feelings would be if she woke up alive after being attacked while meteor is slowly drawing closer to the planet. how would she handle that? how would she feel? would she feel like a failure? would she be angry? what would she do after meteor is destroyed? would she travel the world? join the w.r.o? tell everyone to fuck off and then move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live the rest of her life in peace? these are the questions i wanted answered when i thought about aeris living. i don’t care if she ends up with cloud, or zack, or whoever because they don’t matter: aeris matters. she’s her own person with goals, desires, wishes, and more. no one talks about what she would want and do if she had lived. all people care about is what ‘man’ she belongs to as if she’s a prize to be exchanged between them.

the second reason is simple that she fucking deserves it. she deserves it after living in a lab for 7 years and watching her mother die just trying to get her out. she deserves after having to deal with being stalked by the same company responsible for a lot of her suffering. she deserves to finally be around friends that make her feel loved, accepted, and cared for. she deserves to not feel alone, or like an outcast, or a freak because of her powers. she deserves to be able to go to icicle inn too and see footage of her father for the first time. she deserves to be able to go back to kalm and see her mom again. she deserves to live happily just like everyone else gets to do. her life has been filled with so much tragedy and pain yet she never lets it define her. she blooms in the face of adversity. she keeps smiling even up until the end of her life. she deserves happiness as her end-game and if i don’t get it in canon, i’m going to create it here myself.

aeris & cloud.

i disliked this ship for a long time. it actually wasn’t because of the ship itself but due to some of my experiences with the shippers. i won’t go into my fandom experiences but i ran an account dedicated to ti.fa for almost six years so i’ve seen how...unpretty both sides of the 'ship war’ can get and it turned me off. a lot. when i decided to write aeris, i immediately started a replay of the the original game with an ‘aeris-lens’ ( analyzing her character, her relationships, making sure i got her date, etc. ). it made me look at her relationship with cloud in a different light since i had never really paid attention to it as heavily before since i avoided the ship tbh. i ended up enjoying their dynamic a lot. they have a natural chemistry with each other but there’s also this unspoken distance between them which is fully intentional - she has her own walls up and he has his.

they have a very ‘tragic love’ since well...she dies before anything can fully go to the next level. their relationship in canon is a very ‘what if’ and as a result, i often see people who don’t like the ship claim that they wouldn’t work because aeris wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with cloud and would’ve left. to be blunt, this a bad take considering supporting one another is prevalent throughout their relationship:

aeris: i learned a lot. the elders taught me many things. about the cetra... and the promised land... i'm...... alone... i'm all alone now... cloud: but i'm...... we're here for you, right? aeris: i know. i know, but... i am the only...... cetra. cloud: does that mean we can't help?

cloud: ...i gave the black materia to sephiroth...? wha... what did I do... tell me, aeris. aeris: cloud... be strong, ok? He writhes and clutches his head. cloud urrrrrrgh... what have I done!? aeris: cloud... you haven't done anything. it's not your fault.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don't worry about it. cloud: ...i can't help it... aeris: oh... then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don't have a breakdown, okay?

the remake only reinforces everything i like about their relationship: their banter is great, aeris gently takes his hand during one of his ‘moments’ and supports him, she confides in him about talking to her flowers, and he never treats her differently ( which is a big deal when just two nights before, he told someone to ‘get help’ when they claimed they could hear the planet lol ). they have so much in common as well: they both have struggled with loneliness, being an outcast, and not having a lot of friends. i’ll always find it incredibly interesting how cloud is repeatedly not invited to be apart of group functions in the remake ( he wasn’t allowed to celebrate with avalanche and had to sit outside jessie’s house as the others ate pizza ) until he met aeris and she invited him to have dinner with her and her mom. despite the ‘bodyguard’ dynamic to their relationship, they always feel like equals to me.

aeris: today’s special!!! cloud: why? aeris: because i met you, you dumb binch!!!

aeris: *says cryptic stuff and tells him that they can’t fall in love* ( i’m saying they because apparently in japanese / other languages she says ‘we can’t fall in love’, not just ‘you can’t fall in love with me’. ) cloud: uh....how about i do anyway??? also i’m saving you so...see you tomorrow at 11. bye.

me: their relationship never gets to a serious level because the opportunity was taken away from them de to unfortunate circumstances.

also me: they’re just just...dumb and in love!!!! i’m sorry, that’s just the way it is!!!! she literally tells him that meeting him again was special to her and the silly boi doesn’t get it!!!! one of the composers of the game even said a tracks that plays with them is meant to have a romantic vibe!! when she pulls away from him, he reaches out for her because he doesn’t want her to let go!! the lyrics of hollow is literally ‘this time i’ll never LET YOU GO’ AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

anyway, i’ve also noticed this weird trend in the fandom where it feels like cloud is never allowed to just has his own dedicated feelings about aeris - and i’m not even talking about romantic feelings. i feel like whenever there is talk about cloud’s relationship with za.ck or ti.fa, no one inserts aeris into it. they’re allowed to have their individual relationships with him yet with aeris it feels like you cannot talk about how much she meant to him and vice versa without other characters being thrown in. i don’t know if it’s because of shipping and people don’t want to acknowledge that like...characters can have feelings for multiple people or what but the reality is that cloud did feel something for her. she did mean a lot to him; so much so that he slept in her church two years after she was dead and went to her burial place alone. he missed her. maybe it was just as a friend, maybe it was because of something more but i really dislike how their relationship and importance to each other, regardless of whether it’s platonic or romantic, is constantly invalidated.

aeris & gene.

when kas / @castershot first created channels for gene and aeris in our rp server last year, i honestly did not think these two would have a serious relationship at all. i figured maybe they would have a fling or something at best / aeris would be the equivalent of a filler character in a few episodes of the show and then they would go their separate ways. ...that didn’t happen but i’m glad it didn’t! i didn’t know a gosh diddly darn thing about outlaw star but i’m very good at researching and aggressively reading wikis so i was able to whip up a verse ( and someone who watched the show thought i had actually watched it after reading my verse so i guess i did a darn good job! ). anyway, i feel like when writing aeris it’s very easy to...hmm...fall into very certain dynamics and considering gene’s line of work ( doing odd jobs, being a bodyguard for hire, a general jack of all trades ), i didn’t want it to be the ‘he’s a bodyguard, she gets protected, blah blah blah’ dynamic but in space. so their relationship ( at least in my head - there’s a lot going on in there tbh!!! ) basically became somewhat of a deconstruction of cl.erith + ( bad ) stereotypes about aeris in general:

what if the helpless flower girl that needs saving from the big bad corporation is actually a liar who works for said corporation and was sent by them to retrieve something important(tm) and eliminate anyone that gets in her way? what if aeris, a secret member of the turks, has become so desensitized when interacting with other people since she is constantly wearing a mask and she can’t tell if she’s genuinely falling for someone or if her acting is just so good that even she can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore? what if i took all those bad takes about aeris knowing she would die, flip it, and actually make it so that she does know and still goes alone anyway because she wants to save lives for once instead of being the person who takes them away!!

me: imagine the drama!!! the angst!!! kas, casually: [redacted name b/c of spoilers] would just bring her back to life. me: WHAT?! >:(

apparently one character in the show is casually just GOD and can revive people so they can come back like:

my bubble was BURST. dreams DASHED. plans CRUSHED. dramatics aside, i still kept the idea of her dying because i do like the take of a more secretly jaded / not as ‘pure’ aeris that works for shinra and has to basically relearn how to trust / care about others again + i live to attack kas and all of her muses. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. anyway, the point is that i love them and they’re a dynamic i’m very invested in the more times passes. they’re both so stupid and passionate and loud ( the first in character thing i wrote when i remade this blog was them screaming at each other in an argument ) but they’re also sensitive, don’t open up to others easily, and have trauma!! oof x 100.

me: this ship won’t be serious lol the ship, months later: may or may not have a thread with them going on a date. may or may not have gone to ti.fa and cloud’s wedding together ( where kissafist’s tif.a may or may not threaten to smash his balls in if he doesn’t treat aeris right. *smash em, rip em plays in the distance as aeris aggressively laughs nervously* ), they may or may not get married and have twins that may or may not be named ren and rose. me: clown putting on make up.png

so yea, they’ve come a long way(tm).

the end.

#❀ . ━ ❛ take your time ❪ ooc ❫ .#god i cried a bit when writing the last bit in the first section #i love her so much

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olderjustneverwiser · 6 years ago

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Tell Me All the Ways to Love You (Sam Winchester)

Well, I finally finished my first Supernatural fic. I’m season 11 into my Supernatural rewatch, and watching ten seasons of Sammy Winchester has made me fall in love with him again, and this is the product of that. This is based off of this list, ‘100 Ways to Love You.’ As always, huge thanks to @moresvuheadcanons for all of her help!

Word count: 5016 (go big or go home, am I right?)

Warning: So much fluff, angst, probable overuse of commas, some canon divergence.

Happy reading and enjoy!

o n e

You shivered as you, Sam, and Dean made your way through the old cemetery on the outskirts of some small town, looking for the grave of a man whose ghost had been wreaking havoc for the past few days.

With every step you took, you cursed yourself and your choice of clothing for the day. It had been a beautiful day; sunny and breezy, just like you like it. So you decided to dress light, opting for only jeans, boots, and a tee while you spent the better part of the day posing as beat reporters with Dean; Sam opting to go to the local library and do research. You had forgotten that the temperature tends to drop once the sun starts to set in this particular part of the country, though. Which left you shaking in your leather boots, salt and gasoline in hand, searching for a stupid old grave. Your teeth chattered as you walked, something that did not go unnoticed by one Dean Winchester.

“You alright there, Princess?” he joked.

You rolled your eyes at the nickname he had given you years ago, “Just cold. Ready to get this over with and go back to the motel.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” Sam spoke up, stopping at a headstone a few feet ahead of you. “Just found our guy.”

It was Dean’s turn to dig, so you and Sam leaned against a large headstone while you watched Dean. Sam couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of you shivering. You were clearly miserable.

“Why didn’t you wear a jacket?” He asked.

You let out a huff. “Well, the weather was just so nice today, so I didn’t think about it. And since we haven’t been back to the motel since this morning, I’m left freezing my ass off.”

“Oh come on, it’s not that cold out here.”

“Says the human space heater.”

You felt Sam’s eyes on you for a moment longer before he shrugged his jacket off, uncovering not one but two more layers of clothing underneath. Before you could ask him what he was doing, he was placing the jacket around your shoulders. You instantly felt warm and safe, the smell of his shampoo and soap surrounding you.

His hand lingered on your shoulder just a moment longer than what was probably necessary, but you didn’t think anything of it. “Here. Take my jacket.”

t w o

Your head hurt. That was the first thought you had when you woke up, for once thankful that the bunker didn’t have windows to let any light into your bedroom. Not yet wanting to move out of your warm spot in the bed, you rested your eyes a bit more, mentally kicking yourself for drinking so much with the Winchester brothers.

After years of living with them, you think you would have learned that you couldn’t keep up with them when they were on a binge. The three of you were having a great time last night, though; laughing and joking around like you hadn’t in a very long time. One drink turned into quite a few, and after a long while you had forgotten just how many times you had filled your glass with whiskey. So you stumbled off to bed, leaving the brothers to drink the night away by themselves. Though it was obvious by the pounding in your skull and the severe case of cotton mouth that you hadn’t cut yourself off soon enough.

Slowly turning your body to check your phone on your bedside table, you noticed a glass of water and a banana, no doubt left there for you by the younger Winchester. Sam was good to you like that; always looking out for you and helping you whenever he could. It was one of the many things you loved about him.

You drank the water quickly and nibbled on the banana, not particularly wanting to eat, but knowing that you should. As you ate, the smell of freshly brewed coffee came through from the kitchen of the bunker, making your mouth water and tempting you to leave your cocoon.

You slowly got out of bed and made your way down to the kitchen, barely acknowledging Sam leaning against a counter as you made a beeline for the coffee pot. A groan left you when you noticed it already empty.

“Rough morning?” Sam asked with a knowing smile.

“You could say that,” you replied dryly as you searched the pantry for the canister of coffee you kept. “Where’s the coffee?”

Sam didn’t answer right away. “Oh, um, I kind of just took the last of it. Dean left to get more. Sorry.”

You turned to look at him, noticing the sheepish smile gracing his face and the coffee mug in his hands.

“Seriously? Since when do we not keep this place stocked with coffee?” you dropped dramatically onto one of the chairs at the table, resigned to waiting until Dean came back. Sam sat next to you at the table, placing the near full mug in front of you. He looked at you, the kind smile he always wore when he was with you on his face.

“You’re lucky I’m such a nice guy,” he said. “We can share.”

t h r e e

“It’s not up for discussion anymore, Sam.”

“Do you not realize how dangerous this is?”

“This whole life is dangerous! I’m. Doing. This.” You turned your back to Sam before he could get another word in and stomped off to the grimy motel bathroom. You were just wasting time arguing with him and you needed to get yourself ready for the night.

The three of you were down in New Orleans hunting a group of vamps. Two women had been found totally drained of blood within the past week, and they were both last seen at a bar near Canal. Thanks to Sam’s keen eye for detail, he was able to spot a suspect in the security footage from both nights, even when the police hadn’t noticed him lurking in the crowd. You suspected that the vamp who picked up these women was low on the totem pole, probably only being used to bring them to the alpha of the group, because both women shared very similar physical characteristics.

It appeared that the alpha had a type, and it just so happened that you fit that type perfectly.

When you brought this up to the guys, Dean considered it, but Sam immediately refused to let you go into the bar as bait. He reasoned that it was too risky, that too many things could go wrong. After a quick reminder that last time you checked he was not your father, husband, or keeper, and you could do whatever the hell you wanted, his refusal turned into a plea for you to reconsider. He insisted that you could think of a better plan. However since Dean thought that this was the best thing to do, Sam reluctantly agreed, still trying to talk you out of it while you got dressed. You squeezed into your tightest jeans and put on way more makeup than your normal ‘foundation and mascara’ look, and exited the bathroom, eliciting a low whistle from Dean.

“How do I look?” You asked.

“I’d pick you up if I saw you lookin’ like that.” Dean winked. If looks could kill, the one he got from Sam would have taken another one of his seemingly endless supply of lives.

You laughed, “Good, that’s the point, I guess. Now let’s go catch some freaks.”

Since the motel was only two blocks from the bar, you had decided to walk, discussing the plan for what had to have been the tenth time. You and Sam hung back while Dean entered first, both to scope out the joint and to not seem like the three of you were together. Laughter and music poured from the entrance, Zeppelin’s ‘Whole Lotta Love’ filling the silence between you and Sam.

“You sure you want to do this?” He asked suddenly. “We could sit and keep an eye on him; watch him try to pick up chicks.”

“The woman he picks up may not be able to defend herself like I can, Sam.” He nodded, but something was bothering you. “Hey, why are you so worried about this? This isn’t that big of a deal.”

Sam opened his mouth and quickly shut it, clearly wanting to say something. He was quiet for a beat, then waived it off.

You weren’t convinced, but it had been a few minutes and you needed to get this show on the road. “I’m going in. Wait five minutes, then come in?”

As you walked toward the entrance, you felt a gentle tug at your arm. You looked back to find Sam at the other end of the arm that had reached for yours. The look on his face told you there were a million things he wanted to say, but only two words came out.

“Be careful.”

f o u r

Three swift knocks on your motel room door startled you from the game show you had been watching, trying to distract yourself from the terrible day you’d had.

An involuntary sigh slipped past your lips as you contemplated not answering. You had a hunch as to who was knocking on your door, and part of you didn’t want to talk to him after the last conversation you had with the hunter. You wanted to pretend to be asleep and ignore this problem until tomorrow, but he knocked again and called your name, clearly wanting to talk. Clicking the small TV in your room off, you made your way to the door to answer it. An uneasy feeling hit your stomach when you saw Sam’s face, your mind replaying the last time you had seen him.

To say it had been a long day would be a tremendous understatement. The three of you were hunting down a very elusive shapeshifter who had managed to kill four people since you had arrived in town, and it had tensions running high between you. Between that, Abbadon, and trying to decode the demon tablet, the three of you were all on edge. It all came to a roaring head when you finally had tracked down the shifter’s most recent hideout; an old abandoned factory on the edge of town. Upon hearing screams coming from inside, you ran in while the boys were still forming a plan; desperate to save these people and finish the job.

After the hunt was finished, you and Sam walked back to the Impala while Dean cleaned up what remained of the shifter, not a word spoken between the two of you during the short walk. Sam threw his silver blade into the back of the Impala unceremoniously before finally breaking the silence, yelling at you for not waiting for him or Dean as backup. You had never seen Sam this angry with you before. He was relentless, saying that you had been stupid, foolish. Only when you screamed back at him with tears in your eyes that you had learned that from him did he stop his rant, allowing you to slip into the back of the car without another word.

Now, it seemed as if Sam had finally calmed down. He had his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and he avoided your gaze. You noticed Sam’s shoulders visibly relax when you moved to the side to let him inside your room. Sam sat on the edge of your bed, running a hand through his hair before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

Looking into his eyes for the first time since your argument, you noted the guilt and shame in them. You just stood in front of him with your arms crossed, silent. His words were harsh, and it was going to take more than a feeble ‘I’m sorry’ to make it better.

Sensing this, Sam took a breath and spoke again “Really, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I’m just so stressed out about these stupid tablets, and the trials, and I’m worried about Kevin, and Dean, and you, and I took it out on you. I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt.”

“Sam, it’s going to happen. Hell, it has happened. I’ve been hunting with you guys for years now. You know how good I am. And it still happens to me, and you, and Dean. It’s just hazards of the life.”

Sam nodded, “I know, and that won’t happen again. I just worry about you.”

Your heart softened at that. “I know you do, and I’m glad you do, but you need to let me do the job.”

“You’re right, it won’t happen again. I’m sorry.”

You uncrossed your arms and wrapped them around his neck in a hug, silently telling him that all was forgiven and Sam reciprocated instantly.

You pulled away after a moment, briefly contemplating closing the gap between the two of you once again; finally undoing the not doing with one simple kiss like you had dreamt of doing for so long. But, you decided against it, leaving things just the way things were.

f i v e

Of all the things that could go wrong in this line of work; all of the monsters who wanted you dead, you would have never guessed that your complete lack of coordination would be the thing to keep you out of the game.

You had been cooped up in the Impala for hours with the guys, travelling to your next case. Dean hadn’t stopped driving for close to six hours, saying he “didn’t want to waste daylight.” Not that you really minded; it allowed you to stretch out in the backseat and relax before this case, but you were getting restless. Right around when you hit the six hour mark, Dean took an exit just outside of Bloomington, Illinois to fill up on gas and grab a late lunch, and you were beyond excited to get out of the car for a few minutes.

So excited, in fact, that your feet tripped over one another as you got out of the car, causing your right ankle to snap as you fell.

Dean tried to catch you before you hit the ground, but it was too late. Your ankle began to swell almost instantly, and you found yourself right back in the backseat of the Impala, Sam wrapping your ankle while Dean got the food.

Two hours later when you had finally arrived at a motel in town, the swelling in your ankle had gone down, but only very slightly. You had been ordered by both Sam and Dean to stay on the bed with your ankle elevated while they got changed for the hunt.

“Me and Sammy are gonna go to the station, see what we can find,” Dean said as he slipped on his Fed shoes, “You - stay on the bed and keep that foot up.”

“Dean, come on. It’s not that bad,” you argued. You did not want to be stuck in this room after being in the car for the better part of the day.

Dean only smirked, walking across the room to the door. “Not that bad, huh? Walk over to me, then. Without wincing or limping.”

You stood, determined to pass this little test of his. However, you groaned in pain after just one step. ��Dammit,” you muttered as you sat back on the bed. “Fine, you win, I guess.”

He didn’t even attempt to hide the triumphant smirk on his face, "That’s what I thought. Stay in bed.“

Sam emerged from the bathroom just then, seemingly having heard the whole exchange, "It’s probably for the best.” He said.

“It’s just a stupid little sprain,” you grumbled. You were nothing if not stubborn.

Sam shook his head, taking a seat next to you on the bed. “It looks like a pretty bad sprain, actually. It shouldn’t have swelled that fast. Besides, you’d slow us down if you came. You know that.“

He was right, of course. You would only slow them down, and you knew they couldn’t afford to have any distractions while they were on the job. Besides, how could you argue when Sam was looking at you with those sad little puppy eyes of his?

“I know, you’re right. Go kill yourselves a monster, I’ll be fine here.”

With a quick pat to your good leg, Sam stood from his spot on the bed to fluff a pillow and carefully placed it under your right foot. “There’s snacks in the bag and drinks in the fridge. We’ll be back soon. Call me if you need anything.”

s i x

Your bare feet ached as you ran through the barely lit corridor. This hall was never ending; everytime you thought you’d reached the end, the walls would only stretch further. The only sounds you heard were your heart thudding against your chest and feet smacking against the cold concrete floor. You were terrified and alone, and your body was begging you to stop running, but something in you knew that you had to reach the end.

Just when you thought you couldn’t go anymore, you saw a figure crumpled on the ground a few feet in front of you. Despite the burning in your lungs you pushed yourself to keep running until you reached it, and you couldn’t help but fall to your knees when you saw what was waiting for you at the end.

"No, no way.” You felt as if you were going to be sick; you didn’t want to believe what you were seeing. His skin was cold as ice as you grabbed him, confirming your fears. Your knuckles turned white as your grip on his arm tightened, “Son of a bitch, NO!” The shriek was loud and deafening in your ears; you barely recognized the voice as your own.

You heard a familiar voice calling your name, but it was muffled, almost like it was coming from outside, wherever outside was. Your eyes couldn’t leave him, though. You heard the voice again, closer this time.

And just like that, the haunting visions from your nightmare were replaced with your dark bedroom at the bunker. You no longer felt cold and you felt a set of warm hands on your bare arms, presumably what woke you. You chest heaved as you attempted to calm yourself; the terrible feeling in your guy still there.

The hands that were holding you left your arms and reached to click on your bedside lamp. You closed your eyes at the sudden light, but a soft, calming voice let you know that it was Sam.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you felt Sam brush a few pieces of hair away from your face as he spoke. “You’re okay, just breathe.”

Focusing on Sam’s voice and his words, you tried again to ground yourself. The panic you felt and the uneasiness on your stomach slowly ebbed while you collected yourself, taking a few deep breaths, just like Sam said. With your breathing almost back to normal, you opened your eyes to see Sam sitting next to you on the bed, his eyes filled with worry.

“Feel better?” He asked.

“Yeah, thanks.” You glanced at the clock on your nightstand, it read just after three in the morning. “I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“No worries, we all get nightmares from time to time. I’m surprised you didn’t wake Dean up, too. You were screaming loud enough for me to think something had gotten in here.” His tone was light, but you still hated that you had woken him up just because of a stupid nightmare.

Sensing your discomfort, his smile faltered. “Do you want to talk about it?”

You gnawed at the inside of your cheek for a moment, trying to decide what to say. You don’t tell him that you dreamt of him, cold and lifeless. You don’t say that you knew, somehow, that this was it. There would be no saving him or bringing him back to life. He was gone, empty. Dead.

“Uh, it was the wendigo. From the hunt last week.” You lied.

Sam looked skeptical. “A wendigo made you scream like that?”

“It was attacking me,” you replied. “It was a pretty vivid nightmare.” That part wasn’t a lie, at least.

It was apparent that he didn’t believe you, but he thankfully let it go. “Do you want me to stay? It may help you sleep better.”

Though your heart jumped at the chance to sleep with him next to you, you didn’t want him to feel obligated. “I’m fine, Sam. I’ll just watch TV or something 'till I pass out.”

“It’d be just like when we share a bed on hunts. You always seem to sleep better when we share, anyway.”

After a quick nod from you, Sam crawled under the covers with you and clicked off the lamp. You turned onto your side to face away from him and felt a heavy arm drape around your waist. You two had done this a hundred times, but you never tired of this feeling.

“You sure this is okay?” You whispered.

“Trust me, this is fine.” Sam pulled you a little tighter to him. “I don’t mind.”

s e v e n

Your foot tapped impatiently on the linoleum tile of the hospital as you watched Sam sleep. You and Dean had been waiting in his room for hours silently urging him to wake up, or at least move a finger or something. Anything let you know that he was still there.

The hunt had been a total clusterfuck. The three of you had gone in totally unprepared for what was waiting inside, but all hunters know that if you get the chance to gank the sorry S.O.B. you’re after, you take it. So, you had stormed the warehouse with only a gun and the silver blade you kept in your boot, Sam and Dean close behind with a few weapons of their own. Surprisingly, the fight was over quickly, Dean stabbing it straight through the heart just before it could get a hold of you. After a quick inspection of Dean to make sure he wasn’t too hurt, you noticed Sam wasn’t with him.

As if Dean could read your mind, he looked behind him. “You seen Sam?”

Panic flooded your mind as you shook your head, and the two of you went separate ways searching for him. Nothing could have prepared you for how you found Sam, slouched against a wall unconscious, blood leaking out of a wound that seemed to come from his abdomen, and another one from his forehead. You screamed for Dean, trying futility to move him and hold pressure to the stomach wound at the same time.

You were a wreck the whole ride to the nearest hospital. You sat in the back with Sam, combing his hair with your hands as you tried not to think the worst. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you yelled for Dean to drive faster, knowing he was already driving like a bat out of hell, but you didn’t care. The logical part of your brain wasn’t working. The only thing you could think of was getting Sam help.

Three cracked ribs, a dislocated shoulder, too many cuts, scrapes, and bruises to count, and a severe concussion. The doctor on call had informed you and Dean that they had done all they could, stopped the bleeding and made him comfortable, but he had lost a lot of blood. That combined with the head injury was serious, and now it was all up to Sam to wake up. It was your worst nightmare come to life.

So, now, you and Dean were in his room; you at his bedside since you had first walked in, your small hands holding one of Sam’s. The room was silent save for the steady beeping on the monitor.

Dean mumbled something about getting you both some more coffee and you nodded absently, your gaze not leaving Sam’s face. God, it was torture seeing him like this. Sure, you had seen him with broken bones and blood pouring from wounds all over his body, but never this bad. Never not here. He always bounced back. This was different, though. No one could tell you if he would come back or not.

You sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening for him to just wake up and be okay. You weren’t ready to do this life without him; not yet. There were too many things you hadn’t done, too many things you hadn’t told him. If this was it, well, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.

Sam’s fingers twitched then. It was barely noticeable; you thought for a moment that you had imagined it, but then they moved again, more this time.

“Sam?” His name came out as a gasp as you looked him over, seeing that his eyes were finally open again. Those kind, hazel eyes that you weren’t sure if you’d ever see again were looking up at you through heavy lids. He smiled softly, whispering a quiet “Hey, you.”

“Dammit, Sam,” you cried out, your grip on his hand even tighter as you felt your tears start anew, this time out of sheer relief. “I was so fucking worried about you. I didn’t know what was going to happen; if you were coming back.”

“I’ll always come back to you,” he said whispered, squeezing your hand with his own, “Don’t worry about me.”

e i g h t

This was far from where you expected your night to go, but it’s not like you were complaining.

You, Sam, and Dean had completed a successful hunt earlier in the evening. While you normally hit the road right after hunts, Dean had decided that you were going to stay the night, saying something about hitting up a few bars in the city. You had declined his offer to join him, and Sam quickly followed suit, much to your surprise. Instead, he suggested that the two of you do something fun that didn’t include crowded bars and playing pool. Without much convincing on his part you agreed, happy to get some alone time with Sam.

Which is how you found yourself alone with Sam and a six pack of beer on a secluded bench across the river, looking out towards the city. You couldn’t help but think about how date-like this felt. The thought made your heart flutter.

“How did you know this was here, Sam?” you asked, taking a sip from your beer. It was a beautiful little spot; the bright lights from the city sticking out against the dark night sky and the reflection on the water.

He shrugged, “Honestly, I didn’t for sure. I just figured there would be a few nice spots along the river. Turns out I was right.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, “Well, thanks for being right, Sammy. It’s gorgeous.”

Sam snaked an arm around your shoulders, humming in agreement. It was something he had done a million times before, but this time felt different in a way you couldn’t put your finger on. You leaned into him, pretending for only a moment, that the two of you had normal jobs, normal lives. You let yourself make believe that this was a normal occurrence; being out on a date with the man you loved.

Even with the city noise and the hum of cars crossing the bridge, you swore you could hear Sam’s heart pounding in his chest. You turned to look at his face, and were surprised to find him already looking down at you. Sam slowly brought a hand to your face, brushing a few rogue hairs away and cupping your jaw in his hand. He seemed almost hesitant, like he was testing you. Making sure you wouldn’t turn away from him. You had never before seen Sam so unsure of himself.

You searched his eyes for a brief moment trying to find a reason behind this, then something clicked. This sudden private outing to what had to be one of the most romantic spots in the city, Dean’s constant insistence of “He loves you, ya know.” The way Sam was looking at you, like he was trying to see inside your soul. You realized that your feelings for Sam may not be as unrequited as you thought.

Before you lost your nerve, you did the one thing you had wanted to do for as long as you could remember. You gently pressed your lips to Sam’s as your own little test. You had to make sure that this wasn’t just wishful thinking on your part. When Sam answered by pulling you closer to him, you felt yourself practically melt against him. This felt so right, as if these were the lips you were meant to kiss for the rest of your life. You pushed even closer to him, wanting to put everything you had left unsaid into the kiss. That he was worth it, that he was enough. You wanted to show him that despite all the things he had done, that he was deserving of love, and that as long as he wanted you, you weren’t going anywhere.

You wanted him to know that you loved him.

He pulled away slowly, smiling wider than he had in a long time, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long, you have no idea.”

You were sure that your smile matched his, “Yeah, me too, Sammy.”

You opened your mouth to speak; to say those three little words that had been on the tip of your tongue for what seemed like forever, but Sam beat you to it.

With another chaste kiss to your lips and a brush of his hand on your skin, he whispered,

“I love you.”

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