#cannibalism as a metaphor for love dont forget that

[ramvur]

"& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me."

Day 1 + 2 of #PricegazWeek : smoke + shotgun

[fated-normal-767]

god I just remembered how I realised I was probably aromantic. I was talking to an aromantic guy I know who said he’d never really got the concept of love and asked if I could explain it, and I said I probably couldn’t but I could write a poem and he said yeah cool. Anyway turns out I didn’t get it at all either and I wrote about a confused man beating someone to death and eating them. Summarised it pretty well from my perspective I mean. It be like that. Though apparently it does not “be like that” so that started some wheels turning in my brain and now I’m aromantic.

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

"the church on ruby road" thoughts + reactions

(tumblr is broken so i cant delete this space without breaking the post :))

"you saw a ladder in the sky and you thought, yeah, ill give that a go, babes" rose tyler CALL OUT

"what's the problem with hanging on? it's all the friction and the weight and the burns. so i got rid of that" and that's why u are still Fucked Up doc. this is NOT how u do rehab!!!

"learn the lenguage" eyes emoji "coincidence is what makes the baby tasty" EYES EMOJI

"it sitches you in. it weaves you into the day. you become all complicated and knotted and vivid"

"it's like a tapestry, it's gorgeous" self congratulating ur own writing, russel? sldkfjsdlkfj

"like the best, like wow" 13 and ‘fam’ walked so 15 could run

"a screwdriver needs screws" (so whenever the screwdriver works it, it works by resonating articulations and undoing binding agents, but it cannot do “untangling”)

VENTILAITON SHAFTS!!!! (my "this new era is the cartoon era" meta is born)

"amazing!" "no it's not" nothing changes lol

this feels *so* wilderness years (positive)

the MASTER knot you say....………………………...

"i've got no one" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"it's not magic, it's a lenguage, like a different form of physics" he’s coping about the “little” salt mistake still...

damn 15/ruby chemistry is so good….. can't wait for it all to go up in flames. And tragedy. Flaming tragedy.

"but only one of them stayed" mirror...? QUICK someone count how many companions have there been and if it's 33?????

im having sm emotions wtf

honestly ppl thinking rtd would retcon this were so hilariously off-base lol as if there's anything more of a catnip-plot for a soap opera writer than a “figure out parental origins” plotline

follow the crack... the crack in time and space...

it bothered me that in the special they used so much contemporary colorful theatrical lighting, that didnt fit the "grounded" doctordonna era at al, but it works much better here in that we're properly in the color ncuti era

"dont say that" aggggggggggggg

(ppl forgeting about ruby feels kinda clara coded / foreshadowing?)

"then why are you crying?" im going feral

"i will fix this" rtd voice: he will make it worse

oohh, the hubris in this ep was the arrogance of the doctor saying "they are NOT time travellers" sdklfj

baby catching... xena coded

blue / gold motif my beloved!!!

its a wonderful life~

"everything i do just makes it happen" -> "maybe im the bad luck"

"where are you goin now?" nbd just ruby going to buy some bread at the same store as yaz

CONCLUSIONS!

this was so wholesome t.t i really enjoyed that!! it has some lore implications and long-run stuff but mostly i’m really glad to finally get some new stories/a new vibe. I really enjoyed the glimpse we got of ruby’s family world and also love that both mine and 15’s reactions was “i’ve only had ruby for half an hour but if something happened to her i’d murder everyone here and then myself probably”. her wardrobe is beyond iconic.

besides the “biggest family in the world” parallel, the bb photos in the fridge give me like… TTC’s o"ther lost incarnations are their siblings vibe". Or, every "other time lord is technically the doctor’s children" vibe.

aesthetically, i really enjoyed this one. Specially The Big Scene (13-era blue/gold motif my beloved). This is one i see myself rewatching in the future just for the feel-good feel of it. the goblin number was fun! a clever parody of how much of pop uses “baby” and sweets-related metaphors for the sake of romance and here it becomes all for the sake of cannibalism lol (big brown eyes, caramelise~). 15/ruby being *so in* tune is cute+fun (and slightly sus). promising start to the new era.

[lostlegendaerie]

Six Fics of 2016

someone. someone tagged me in this. multiple someones tagged me in this while my PC was broken as shit so fuck. i dont know but i Wanted This, so. originally by @secretlystephaniebrown​ !

So I thought I’d pick 6 fics of mine written during this year, grab a favorite quote from each of them, give a short explanation of why it’s one of my favorites, and then tag 6 people to do the same! Let’s get some self love rolling as we head towards the end of this year!

and yeah i did write other fandoms this year but its like mostly RvB and Entirely in space, so.

6. Save and Restore - York & Delta, canon compliant

“That’s a-- dirty word, D.” A light, airy chuckle follows; one he remembers following an exchange with Carolina years ago. It sounds so much younger than the rest of York’s words, and he realizes he may not have anything more recent. “Better-- clean it off.”

“I… beg your pardon?”

“Nah, it’s free.”

i mean im Mostly so fond of this one because it was how I met @agentyorkdakota​ my moon and stars, but i also really enjoyed just getting to play with language a lot with this? like i’m pretty sure i’ve discussed this before but for a senior year project i worked a lot on a play called The Skriker where the title character kind of... used mixed metaphors and all sorts of jumbled language to communicate and it just. stuck with me. this language that was kind of cobbled together and makes sense but doesn't and yet does? so that was def a highlight of mine working on this fic. (also it placed me in the Angst War, a feather in my cap if there ever was one)

5. blow you like a popsicle stand - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

He swallows his fear and creeping horror and lifts the lid. Buried under the crystalline ice of the remarkably still-functioning freezer is a collection of brightly colored little packages, all about the size of his hand.

“What.”

“I know!” Tucker replies, with exactly the kind of enthusiasm than ensures Wash he does not know, “I can’t believe it either. Ice cream! Here! On Chorus! Man, Caboose is gonna flip out when he sees this.”

Wash is tired, and adrenaline-tingly, and by this time he should just always expect to be betrayed and disappointed but here he is. He pulled a door out of a crumbling concrete wall for decades old ice cream sandwiches. Couldn’t save the lives of kids under his command, but sure. He can demolish a building in a fit of panic.

“What,” he repeats again, trying to shove all of his feelings into one ambiguous syllable. But Tucker just hip-checks him out of the way, flourishes his sword with a buzz of light, and carves a path through the ice to a red and blue package.

this one was done in a swap for @playerprophet​ (whom i also love and tag in this, there you go) and was just. okay. listen. l i s t e n. if i’m gonna write porn im gonna write specific porn. i’m gonna write mildly kinky porn with new shit y’all aint even knew you liked so someone can find me at a con and tell me to my face “oh yeah you wrote the iceplay fic” and i can be like “y e s” but also i can barely scrub the Feelings out of anything i write, so. SO. this was a pretty lighthearted excuse for Porn and it went over really, really well. so im Happy.

4. Golden Boy - York-centric, semi-canon compliant

Not that York can go back, now; not that there's anything left to go back to, with the entire project turning on itself in a disjointed, cumulative sort of cannibalism as every man, woman, or construct fights for themselves. And he’s not entirely blind to the fact that being wired to Delta on a neurological level makes the Director’s treatment of the AI feel infinitely more personal; makes it easier than it should have been to turn his guns on people he’d worked with for years. No. He’s not blind, not in that sense anyway.

But if he’s going forward, he wants to understand in full what he did in the name of science and progress.

this fic once shared a name with @littlefists​ ‘s epic because it was literally the first thing I wrote in the fandom and I Wasn’t Into Tuckington So I Didn’t Know, and i swear to GOD this is the last time i bring this up but i worked so fucking hard on it, it has Combat and Betrayal and Introspection and World Building and while i’ve gotta better grip on canon now I still really, really enjoyed this fic as an explanation for how York, of all people, could have gone so low in OOM

3. Overflow - Tucker/Wash, canon compliant

His thoughts about Tucker have often felt like a glass of water that’s just a little too full. He moves carefully so they don’t slosh around and make a mess of the place, barely keeping it all inside . And he’d thought that, once the newness of the whole ‘ sure we’ll risk lying to the faces of UNSC police to keep you out of prison even though you’ve done next to nothing nice for us your entire life ’ gratitude thing wore off (it didn’t, not entirely, it still pops up sometimes in the worst of moments and chokes him like the noose he should have gotten) the level would go down.

[...]

Tucker does something to him. Tucker finds ways to make him forget, at least for a little while, all the ways he’s fucked up. Even if it’s just finding more tolerable faults, like how the stick Washington has got shoved up his ass does wonders for keeping his back straight. Tucker talks loud enough to drown out the ghosts of everyone he underranked but outlived, listens enough to make his hard-won experience and advice mean something, and he is terrified for the day that everything overflows.

this was birthday fic for @strangestquiet that i actually took a day off from work to ensure i completed it in time but just. anyway. i’m pretty proud of it because it’s Big and it’s Coherent Mission Fic that managed somehow to tie into a little bit of preexisting lore. i’m also unfortunately very fond of all the little OC children bc i’ve constantly had tons of trouble with original characters and even tho no one else seemed to notice them i had fun and i love them all. but just in general i feel like i had a good balance of humor and feelings and also imagery? but as far as the latter goes it falls short of...

2. gethsemane - implied Shepard/Vakarian, Archangel-centric, game-compliant

On his last trip out of the Citadel, tying off loose ends, he bought a pack of playing cards from a human vendor. He had memories - they’d been fond once, but were souring like milk left in the sun - of losing miserably to Shepard and Williams at some gambling game. Leaving gifts on the graves of the departed wasn’t exactly the norm for turian culture, but neither was it strictly a human one either.

The flowers around the small crystal pillar were already wilting with neglect when he arrived. There might have been other tributes left there, but security had loosened until it fell away, slack like discarded clothes. Garrus left the cards there, under the shimmering list of names of casualties from the attack on the Citadel, and took the next transport ship as far away from Widow as possible.

okay so like. whenever possible i love to put good imagery in fic and like. understate emotions when i can and just in general do the literary version of the color saturated wide shot, you feel me? like the pullback with the characters in silhouette but you can still understand everything they’re feeling? anyway i feel like this fic really nailed a lot of my own personal goals for just Vivid fics. can’t wait to write more mass effect fic but it’s gonna be Hard to meet the standards i set for myself with this one.

1. Throw Away the Key - York/Carolina, Alternate Universe

Carolina fights to find the best angle for her umbrella as gusts of wind swat rain at them in little bursts, but by the time her car gives a satisfying click they’re both uncomfortably wet and she’s run out of things to say. Thankfully, he hasn’t.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” York reflects as he withdraws the metal blade, inch by careful inch. “This is getting a little absurd. Like, bad soulmate romcom Hallmark movie levels of coincidence.”

“Not my fault if you keep breaking the law.” She’s a little surprised by the movie analogy, but decides against teasing him for his choice in films.

“I am bending it, at best.”

listen i’m fucking neck deep in all the complexities of longfic hell and this sure isn’t the artsy stylistic stuff that i can be proud of (or regret) later on down the road but i’m trying. i’m trying to write something massive and happy and so far it’s working. i can’t say for sure if it’s actually Good because i get to see all my messy drafts and stops and starts that the rest of you are spared, but I wanted so badly to write A Good Longfic for the Y/C fandom and with that, at least, I feel like I’m doing well. if nothing else, literally nothing else at all, i am proud of myself for trying this and i hope that it can continue to give people joy long after it’s done and i’m gone.

i’m gonna go ahead and tag @therewithasmile @sinelanguage @lady-of-rohan @flecksofpoppy @owaire and of course @playerprophet but if you’re reading this and wanna do it go right ahead!

[klugpuuo]

okay not very good at directly analyzing Characters but i can sure as hell analyze the Songs

first song is

solitary envy

i listened to this SO MUCH as a kid. there were two mvs i know abt, one was kinda creepy and i only watched it once and the other where it's a kid who tries to commit suicide after being severely neglected but is saved by her parents who immediately realize what they did wrong and are kind to her

the song itself plays a lot on innocence (or supposed lack thereof) and a sense of being abandoned, as well as feeling like you aren't good enough.

so this song could be here to draw attention to roll's feeling of being..lesser? she seems to struggle a lot with self-worth issues (seen in the backstory comic)

the other general themes of the song are important, but i'll draw more attention to them while talking abouuuut-

DON'T GO

sense of feeling abandoned indeed!

"it's nothing, i thought to myself the truth is, i want to stop those footsteps for a moment but you're gliding forward with such quick steps that i simply watch"

i've never listened to this song before so i don't have as many connections with it, but i can tell just from those lyrics alone

it seems that roll feels a bit left behind by her len. from the little we've seen them interact, it's obvious that they were very close - but while roll tends to take things slow in the general sense, her len was (in her own words) "very driven", and intentionally or not left her behind. (i personally am leaning more to "intentionally but unknowingly" considering the lyrics of the song, but that's only if the song is 1:1 or very close to what happened in the story)

going back to the song itself - everything about it points to it being one more of regret than resentment. the soft instrumentals, even the lyrics themselves - there's not a hint of anger, just massive amounts of deep sadness.

unrelated but some parts of this song read like a description of disassociation so. mood

nEXT-

quiet room

another song i know! both for good and bad reasons. im skipping this one for the most part as it brings up bad memories HOWEVER :

losing innocence and falling apart relationship- and mental health-wise is basically this entire song. near the end there's a slightly more hopeful note but the majority of it is nothing but Owch Oof Owie and Do You Remember When We Were Kids

VOLGENDE LIEDJE

flowering

i was gonna say i dont know this song but the chorus is VErrrry familiar so who knows

from the first few lyrics there's even More allusions to being "lesser", feeling of worthlessness and being the dark to someone's light.

also "reaching out" to the light while being in the dark, constantly feeling a despair that perhaps this other person could help solve..?

part of this song calls back to the backstory comic, which might i add i've read about twenty times it's just. so good

forgetting important things, feeling like you're the only one who's the same while everything else is moving so fast, getting lost in despair, not wanting to change but knowing at some point you probably should try...

schema

more themes of forgetting, this time with additional violence

feeling like you're hurting someone you love, trying to act aloof but you feel like a terrible person

begging for light, a salvation that isn't possible

oh yeah also trans colors and there's a gun

EVE SONG EVE SONG

EVENS SOSSN SOFNFS AOUGN SIGHG

EAT UR HEART OWT

i made an icon set of this once. i like this song

self-cannibalism, other-cannibalism, all in a metaphorical sense. addiction to a person and places, maybe even to the concept of feeling hurt or hurting. beind desperately and terribly alone.

"find me, before i eat myself"

Kusare-gedou and Chocolate

i know this one too!

rumors, half-truths and lies, oh my-

only gossip feels truly real, being kind to others is way too overrated and boring. somethng something paparazzi

i have massive amounts of thoughts on this song but i cannot articulate them. rotates it around in my mind. i understand why this song was put on this playlist and the placing is Good.

anther off-topic thing i like how the censor bleeps become part of the song

"oh, somehow i don't like this"

GOD-ISH

yay!

overuse of important things until they don't matter anymore, being too bored of normal things and trying to make everything extra, although it all just sort of falls apart and suddenly everything's boring again

there's not much to say about this song that hasn't already been said, and i'm not half as articulate as the youtube comments on the original upload, so i'll just leave it at that-

traffic jam

gross beat gross beat gross b

point the blame at other people! every time someone's hurt, it has to be just one person's fault! otherwise the media isn't interesting, otherwise the media doesn't make sense. otherwise we can't sell it

making out also. and killing each other. and making out

run away coward, anxiety-riddled mess, never really feeling alive. this song's point seems to be to playing on other songs

praying for someone to be seen as inferior to you, perhaps when you've been seen as inferior your whole life. you just want to be noticed, maybe? you just want the spotlight for once?

cruel? that's a good one,

handle with care

"i need you - sorry that was my demons" the song

"grow up already, you're an adult so you should act like one" is also something

even with companionship, even with love, things aren't always totally perfect

even when your job's going good, even when you get to write a lot, it doesn't really matter, none of it means anything

the direct reference to a brother makes me think of len - we don't see or hear any mention of him, but he had a lot of drive, he had tons of potential - he built buildings just for the sake of falling down head-first to his end, perhaps?

also a denial of low mental state - of COURSE i'm not feeling upset or lonely! i'm not depressed, anxious, or sad about anything at all! my life's great, so why should i be?

there's more to every single song but my head hurts and it's way past lunch so imma go end it here.

ecplodes

HANDLE WITH CARE

Kagamine Rin 6RU9 “Roll” || character playlist